#Just some middle of the night thoughts

[agenderdeddie]

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Randomly thinking about “tolerate it” (narrator voice: it was not random) and how under the cloak of fiction it is ostensibly inspired by works like “Rebecca” (which Taylor said she read during the 2020 lockdowns I believe?), with the line of “you’re so much older and wiser” indicating that the speaker is significantly younger and inexperienced compared to the person she’s speaking to and a pretty direct reference to the plot of the book.

But I saw something somewhere once that stuck with me about how it might not be referring to relative age between the characters but chronological age as in the passage of time in a relationship. And that made me think about how in a contemporary context, it might not necessarily be referencing an actual age gap between the two characters, but rather a sarcastic or cynical response to the man’s claims that he has matured (“you’re so much older and wiser [than you were before/than you were when we met/etc.]”), which then made me think about that line in relation to the woman. And that it could be taken like, “you act like you’ve matured so much in our time together and like you know everything, while I’m supposedly still stuck as the girl I was when we first met.”

Which then made me think of the “right where you left me” of it all and did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen time went on for everyone else she won’t know it and the bit in Miss Americana where she talks about how celebrities get frozen at the age at which they got famous, and how she’s had to play catch up in a lot of ways not just in her emotional growth but kind of in general. (Which also made me wonder if she’s ever been called out for immaturity/lack of curiosity/lack of education about things in her life…)

Which then made me think about the rest of the song, and @taylortruther’s posts yesterday about “seven” and “Daylight” and the way Taylor idealizes her youth yet contrasts it with an almost sinister reality in its wake, and the line, “I sit by the door like I’m just a kid,” because the discussion raised that her relationship let her recapture some of the childlike joy and wonder she’d lost. So this line is a double-edged sword: the speaker sits by the door with childlike hope that the person will come home and cherish her, but on the darker side, feels like the child dealing with the monsters she doesn’t have names for yet and the feelings of isolation she felt as she aged.

I’m not saying the song is necessarily autobiographical; like most of the songs on folkmore, it’s clearly a fictionalized story based on media she’d consumed and created, but we know a lot of the fictional songs were infused with her own feelings and experiences and… This idea swirling in my head picked up steam and now I kind of can’t stop thinking about it. Sorry but I’m a little obsessed now.

Like maybe it might start to shed light on why she identified so strongly with the novel in the first place…

[simcardiac-arrested]

growing up is like, every single thing you thought would be so complicated and unmanageable and unthinkably difficult turns out to be, actually, pretty simple. and every single thing you thought was so simple and easy to understand and how come adults don’t get this turns out to be painfully hard to deal with, to actually understand and internalize.

the thing you thought you had all figured out—somehow, you forget the right way to handle it. the thing you thought would dictate the course of your entire life, the thing you thought would ruin you forever—you move on in 2 months. the worst thing to ever happen to you hasn’t caught up yet. maybe it never will. maybe life shouldn’t be based on which worst thing happens when.

a hobby you thought would be a silly one-off becomes an all-time favorite. a genre you could never see yourself getting into can offer you the best story you’ve ever experienced. an inherent belief you thought you’d never budge on starts getting cracks. a person you’ve only ever seen in passing and had short conversations with can become your closest three, five, seven years later.

everything you thought about yourself can turn out to be wrong. you’ll get better in ways you didn’t know you could. you’ll slip and fall just as much, get new scrapes along the way as you survive yet another mess of a job, a situation, a relationship. it might be fear, or it might be happiness when you’ll look at yourself in the mirror and not recognize who it is.

so yeah, i guess, if i had to describe what growing up feels like, i could say i’m closer to figuring my life out, or i’m even more lost than before, or that it’s like a rebirth, i’m becoming a new person, i’m finally getting to know myself, or the many, many other things people say when you ask them.

and they’re all right, of course—the future you dreamed for yourself at age 12 is no longer there to guide you anymore, but sometimes it does feel like you see things clearer, like the pieces occasionally click in your head even if you can never comprehend the puzzle. you’re still who you were at your core, but you’re also starting to peel back the layers, to find such things that you never even imagined could be you.

so yeah, i guess, growing up is all of those things and more. it never stops to wait for you to realize it’s happening. it’s changing, changing in a way you can never anticipate, changing in a way that will simultaneously ache deeply and make you the happiest you’ve ever been. it’s the most complex, most intricate experience a human could have.

but, like most complicated things, it’s also actually pretty simple.

i mean—it’s just plain fun, isn’t it?

[sweetbrier2908]

Waking up orders in House of Lamentation:

cw: no proof-head, just some random thoughts, grammar errors here and there

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1/ Beelzebub - always the first one to wake up before everyone else because he’s hungry,  also because of his morning work-out routine, usually wakes up at 5 or 5:30 never later. goes to the kitchen first so he can prepares his work-out snack and has his 1st breakfast of the day. takes the advantage of waking up early to sneak into your room so you two can have some morning cuddles (sometimes just to find mammon on your bed). 

2/ Satan - this perfect man has his day scheduled duh, he has plan, he need to be perfect in order to beat Lucifer. Waking up at 6am, maybe sooner than Beel if he’s on breakfast duty (he want to make sure 1) Beel doesn’t digest all the breakfast ingredient 2) he must make better breakfast than Lucifer) . Starting his day with a cup of coffee and a good book after finishing his morning routine. He’s usually the one who goes to everyone’s room to wake everyone up, makes sure they all get to school on time so they don’t ruin the family’s reputation (which honestly is ruined at this point) by being late (also because he likes to take care for his family members but he will never admit).

3/ Lucifer - Asmodeus - Mammon: most likely to wake up at the same time. 

Lucifer: he’s not a morning person. waking up early is a no no but he has his duty. usually pulls an all nighter and then leaves early because he has works to do, also usually skips breakfast (“I don’t have time to eat breakfast” is his excuse). don’t you worry, Mammon will make his older brother eat probably, that’s his specialty. In case Lucifer has a rest day, he sleeps ’til noon and Mammon will also make sure that no one can’t in interrupt his sleep. this man never get enough sleep, so it’s not unusual to see him knocks off on his paperworks.

Mammon: he’s not Lucifer’s most trusted brother for nothing. sometimes his breakfast sucks but not always, he knows how to make a edible breakfast. usually wakes up later than Beel and Satan but most time he’s earlier than Lucifer if Lucifer finishes his works after 2 in the morning and be able to get a few hours good sleep. the other one besides satan make sure everyone eat their breakfast properly and goes to school properly (he’s the second eldest c’mon). most time when he goes to bed late the night before (because of his parties, part-time jobs or modeling gig, night out…) he ends up overslept. take a really long time to get up from bed, you or one of his brother have to drag him out of bed. 

Asmodeus - Satan wakes him up every morning, refuses to get out of bed if it's not you or Satan the one who wake him but wakes up eventually cuz he can't skip his morning bath and skin care routine (his older brother always complains but it becomes a habit for both of them now). HE HAS HIS MORNING ROUTINE AND RITUAL AND BATH AND EVERYTHING. take a really long time to prepare in the morning. also he always make sure to goes to bed before 11pm and has an at least 8-hour sleep, you know, have to get enough sleep to maintain this beautiful skin.

4/ Leviathan: first of all, he does virtual schooling. second, “one more episode/round/chapter and i go to bed then end up stay awake til 5 in the morning” type - when Beel wakes up is when he goes to sleep. can’t get out of bed. on days he doesn’t have to be at school, he wakes up at 10 and starts his virtual schooling. on days he has to be at school, Mammon and Satan will make sure he’s on time. however, he still shows up late at breakfast then has to get his breakfast at school cuz Beel eats his portion every fucking morning, 

5/ Belphegor: he’s avatar of sloth. may wakes up earlier than Levi but goes back to sleep immediately. Beel has to carry him to the dining hall to make sure he has his breakfast (and sometimes carry him to school). Doesn’t matter he wakes up early or not, he goes to school to sleep to be honest. 

[moonchild-in-blue]

Not forgiving yall for making me believe Price was a proper Tired Old Man™. What do you MEAN he is canonically 38/39 💀

and what do you mean Soap is like? 27? sir you are but wee boy. where are your parents.

[introspectivememories]

once again wondering why tim thought that visiting his clearly spiraling boyfriend as robin to interrogate him about the chaos monsters instead of coming over as tim first was a good idea

[kyorru-remade]

i don’t know if moving has made my mental health better or worse

[coloredcompulsion]

My dad rewatching the FNaF movie with me: So that guy's the killer right?

Me: Yes! I'm kind of disappointed he's no longer British

My dad: He's no longer What

[skyekurisu]

毎晩

[mmyashas]

the reason walter bob and the other workers don't have a face [click read more]

IDEA: AU [?] where qjaiden worked with the federation in terms of design . in search of some feedback from her higher up, jaiden followed cucurucho to a "harmless" area

. Next thing she knows, there's an alarm blaring and a train arrival.

(did cucurucho lead her there on purpose? who knows :] ! )

[dolokhoded]

"come with us to see caiaphas you'll just love the high priest's house" and then why is annas at the high priest's house in the middle of the night 🤨📸

[putterphubase]

every single time without fail if i look at a scene and im like "oh this scene is so pretty itll be so easy to gif" it turns out to be the most impossible ugly horrible gif ive ever created. why

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

ancient dwarven murals depicting elves?? 👀👀

[velvet-games]

the latest 666 update has been haunting me all morning lmao

[skwivr]

-

[valewritessss]

Every time I see videos about or hear someone say that they think they don’t look good, and I’m just thinking “what the fuck are you taking about” I wonder if anyone thinks that way about me because it really is that we’re blind to our own beauty but not each others