#Just never give up my fellow artists
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You have a huge community, your art reaches so many people and a lot of them really look up to you, just like me, i'm not an artist but still I look up to you. You clearly have a lot of passion for your art and i can feel that by looking at it.
You're so good at what you do, and you worked hard for it, people buy your prints and commissions and youre selling your art at dokomi. You've achieved all of these things i could ever imagine to achieve for myself and in a way im jealous of you, maybe that shows that we are all jealous of something other people have and we ourselves dont (yet). I really wish you all the best, we are all gonna get there someday <3
This message was in my inbox for a while and I saw it just now. I really want to respond to you as sincerely as I can:
First of all, thank you so much anon! Your words really mean a lot to me. Thank you for your honesty too. I know how easy it is to get jealous, but seeing that you're so positive about it is incredibly nice.
I'd love to give you and all aspiring artists a little hope!
I only started growing properly last year, before that I didn't sell many prints, commissions or anything of that matter. I spent a lot of time wondering what I even wanted to do. For the longest time I thought I wanted to get into character design or concept art so I worked towards that, but slowly realized that it's not for me at all. It felt like I was forcing myself into a box I didn't belong in. I started befriending people who worked in the industry and I realized that it's not what I want to do. I felt really lost after that. Nothing was really working out for me.
But then Our Flag Means Death came out and I started creating fanart again. Something that I had somewhat stopped doing, because I believed it wasn't professional enough and that I couldn't get anywhere with it. But I enjoyed it so much and pushed out so much art that I started growing a proper community! And then I just kept drawing what I really wanted to draw, not forcing myself into any box anymore. And because of that, I improved so quickly too. And now I managed to be at a point in my art journey where I'm not that scared of my future anymore.
So please, just keep doing whatever it is you enjoy the most, don't listen to what other people tell you. Be patient with yourself as well, because everyone's journey is different. You can absolutely achieve your dreams! ❤️
#sorry for the long rant#Just never give up my fellow artists#I almost did#You almost didn't get all the gay fanart#So let this be your motivation#Keep going because otherwise someone in the future might not witness your incredible gay fanart#anon#ask#my art
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Idk if I'll ever share it cause like. Idk if I'd want to but god I love drawing Riku's lionsona. He's so fluffy and goofy and something about tlk style (well my take on it ig) that makes it easier to draw him with more fun expressions.
#oc tag#i feel like a lot of artists have one animal they love drawing and to absolutely NO ONES surprise mine is lions#id love to draw all of the prsona characters as lions someday#ive done some (you can probably guess) but they're kinda old#but yeah its a really fun art style to play around with and drawing lions is just#so much fun#lion riku is really fluffy too :3 fluffy fellow#my gf said he looked like simba's long lost uncle so do what you will with that information 😭#if i was REALLY feeling up to it id do one of those 'give me a character and ill draw them as a lion' challenges#THAT would be fun and id include ocs in that too#alas. requests and i dont go well together#i remember someone requested an outfit for one of those outfit memes last year for riku and i finished it#and i never posted it 🚶 it was fucking fire too i still love that drawing#still guilty about it 😭#there is no lore behind him having a lion form btw i just really wanted to draw him as a lion in tlk style
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Unreachable
Wandering mind, full of creation
Meandering lines, lost in elation
Each stroke, I broke a little inside
Each fate, I hate. My will defied
I painted this in Feb 2022 about what it's like to be an artist with repetitive strain injury. In 2008, When I was 18, I made my first comic titled 1000 Words, it was about an artist helping a little girl with a broken family similar to my own. It received such positive feedback that I changed my Environmental Science major at UCBerkeley to Art major. Ever since then, my goal has been to tell stories with my art. Stories that are important to me. My next comic, Knite, was about a boy who wants to put the stars back into the polluted skies of China, my homeland. The comic after that, Fisheye Placebo, is a cyberpunk story about living in the age of technology, about fighting censorship and propaganda.
Unfortunately, I never got to finish Knite nor Fisheye Placebo. By the time I was 24, I was drawing day and night with no regards to my health. Not only did I get repetitive strain injury in my drawing hand, but my entire health suffered. My roommates had to rush me to the ER after fainting one night. I remember looking at my swollen right hand, my fingers like sausages, not even able to hold a pen, and just cry.
I've gone to the doctors and physical therapists. One told me I have Lupus (I do not), and another told me to put ice on it. More recently, I met a friend who happens to an amazing physical therapist and he was able to help me regain a lot of use of my hand. At my worst, I could only draw an hour a week, but now I am able to draw 2 hours a day. My hand is unlikely to fully heal, but I'm so grateful to regain what I have.
To my fellow artists who suffers the same, please know you're not alone. I can't promise that it'll get better, and it's cliche to say don't give up, but I want to keep hoping that no matter what the world throws at us, we will continue to make art.
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is it casual now? (teaser) 🫀 seungcheol x reader.
★ seungcheol x makeup artist!f!reader. ★ teaser word count: ~8,000 ★ genre/warnings: mdni. 18+ content. situationship/friends with benefits, light angst, use of pet name ('love'). soft dom!seungcheol, making out, biting/marking, protected sex. let me know if i missed anything! ★ footnotes: this has been on my backburner for months. it's admittedly a full-blown story in need of hard editing, and so i'm posting this in hopes of bullying myself into working on the whole thing. should it come down to it, though, i like to think this can stand on its own. enjoy. <3
Seungcheol has been in the industry long enough to know that everybody had vices.
Trainees, rookies, veterans. It didn't matter. There were dangerous, risky vices. Alcohol, drugs, smoking. There was dating, too, of course. Dating fans, dating fellow idols.
Seungcheol didn't do drugs. He smoked socially, but he would rather not. And he drank, sure, but never to an unhealthy amount. Dating, however—
Did it really count when there was only really ever one person he treated like a vice?
You've been in his life since the group debuted. Nine years, give or take. And then, at one point, he just... tried something with you. And it clicked, fell into place, and now you've been sneaking around for the better half of three years. It's the one place Seungcheol feels like he can breathe, can get away. But it's also the biggest secret he's kept.
You're his makeup artist, after all.
When the two of you started off, you both insisted on nothing serious. To 'keep it casual'.
That worked perfectly for Seungcheol. He likes to think it's still working for him, as he raps at the door of your apartment and waits for you to open up. His wristwatch says that it's midnight, but it doesn't matter. He knocks a little louder, growing a touch impatient.
You open the door, and you're greeted with Seungcheol looking reproachful. "Yah," he chides. "Why haven't you been answering my texts?"
When you rub your eyes with the back of your hands and look over your shoulder to glimpse at your wall clock, Seungcheol almost feels apologetic. Almost. “Cheol,” you say exasperatedly, slowly. “It’s the middle of the night.”
"So you were sleeping then, hmm?" Seungcheol says. The corner of his lips tilt up, just slightly. He leans against the doorframe, taking a brief amount of time to glance you over. As he does, a small wave of tiredness finally washes over him— just how late had he kept himself up working on new music? "I sent you texts hours ago."
"You didn't even read them." He reaches up, tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. He sighs, the sound almost exaggerated. "How cruel of you."
You let out a low hum at Seungcheol’s fingers brushing against your skin. “Mmm, I fell asleep with my phone in my hand,” you admit, the words coming out more like a soft sigh than anything else.
You seem to finally drag yourself out of your sleepy state to give Seungcheol a once-over. He knows it shows all over— the exhaustion in his eyes, his stance. He’s tired, and you can tell. You’ve always been able to tell.
You step aside a bit and he takes that as his cue. Seungcheol moves past you, a small hum in the back of his throat. He toes off his shoes and shuts the door behind him with a soft click. In spite of himself, the moment he's inside, he reaches for you.
One arm is loosely slung over your shoulders, pulling you in close. He rests his chin on your shoulder, the tip of his nose against your neck.
"You fell asleep..." he gripes. "Do you know how many texts I sent you? I sent five.”
“Five”” you repeat as you bear Seungcheol’s weight. Your hand instinctively raises to stroke the base of his hair behind his neck, and he thinks he could melt then and there— your soothing touch, your light tone. “Oh, how ever will you live?”
Seungcheol huffs into the crook of your neck. The feel of your fingers in his hair does wonders to combat the tired, stressed part of himself. Slowly, his shoulders relax, and he sighs, the sound long and deep.
"Don't get snarky with me," he mutters. But there's no bite to it at all, just a quiet sense of contentment in his voice. "You could've at the very least read the messages." He moves, presses a kiss to your neck. "Would've taken ten seconds."
“I was asleep,” you protest, but— whether or not you notice— your head is tilting around a bit to press a lingering kiss on to the side of his face.Seungcheol's stomach flutters. You're sweet like that. Always have been, always will be. He hums under his breath at the kiss, his hand that's on your shoulder moves up to cup your cheek.
“That’s my penance,” you say drowsily.
"One kiss isn't nearly enough," he tells you.
He pulls back from your shoulder to look at you, now. The eye contact, the way he regards you, has a more focused weight. He takes a moment to look you over again— hair mussed, face still flushed faintly from sleep. "Two,” he says in a tone that brokers no argument.
“Greedy,” you mumble, but both of you know it doesn’t matter.
Not when your free hand finds purchase at his side and you use your fingers in his hair to pull him down so you don't have to stand on your tiptoes. Not when you press your lips together into a kiss that's soft and sweet, almost sleepy.
All it takes is the sound of your voice for Seungcheol to be pulled in— when you tug at his hair, he follows, his chest against yours. He bends down, his own hands coming up to the sides of your face.
He melts against your mouth, his eyes closing in an instant. But it’s done as quickly as it started. You pull away, your face still inches away from Seungcheol’s, as you smilingly mumble to him, “There. Two kisses.”
His eyes open again once you pull away, his grip on your face tightening just slightly. "Three," he mutters back, and then he leans back in.
You hum against his mouth, the sound breaking free from the back of your throat. You’re both so tired from your respective work and it shows in the kiss. No heat, no fire. Your tongue swiping over his lip makes Seungcheol hum, quiet and low in his throat. He's usually so used to being the one who takes control, making the first move, but here with you, in the early hours of the morning— there's something else to it.
He pulls you closer against him, his hands moving down to your hips. Against your mouth, he murmurs, "Four," before his tongue slips in, just to get a taste. Just to linger, just to savor, but not take over.
“Cheol,” you huff, though your reprimand is tempered by the way Seungcheol is intent on keeping the kiss going. “You’re— mmph— being greedy—”
"Five—" he sighs against your mouth. "Let me be greedy a second more."
One of his hands moves to the back of your head, fingers tangling up in your hair. This is what he likes, this is what he always comes to you for. Something that's simple. This, he can deal with. This, he can handle.
It’s never a second more with Seungcheol. He’s always out the door when he can go, when he has to. He’s never been a glutton for time, and so it’s enough for you to sense that something is wrong.
You break away from him.
Seungcheol has to resist a whine when you pull back, his eyes fluttering open in a daze. Your hand has moved to his face and you’re looking up at him with a small frown and a quiet query. “Long week?”
He lets your question hang in the air for a moment, the hand in your hair loosening its grip, fingers just idly combing through the strands.
He glances at your face— the furrow of your brow, the hint of concern in your eyes— and it makes him sigh. He turns his head to press a soft, quick kiss to your palm.
"Long year," he corrects.
You look like you want to say more. Seungcheol almost begs you not to. This— whatever the two of you have— it’s an outlet that won’t break him, won't ruin him, won't tarnish him or the group's name. He just wants— he needs—
You know exactly what he needs, even if he doesn’t always know himself. “How do you want your fifth kiss?” you ask instead of commenting on his obvious fatigue.
Your question makes Seungcheol's head empty out in an instant.
It takes him a moment to think, to consider. His mind, hazy and tired as it is, struggles to come up with an adequate answer. All he knows is that he's comfortable, that he's tired, that you're here. And that's all he really needs, in the end.
He lets his hand fall from your hair, to the nape of your neck. "... Soft," he murmurs. "Soft and easy."
You’re back up on your tiptoes to give him what he asked for. A sweet, slow press of your lips against his. It’s a kiss that lovers give each other, even though you’re the furthest from that.
It's easy, easy, easy for him to fall into the kiss just like that, a shudder running down his spine when your tongue doesn't invade him. It's sweet, it's chaste, it's simple. It's exactly the kind of kiss he needs after a week of work.
His hand on your neck moves to your cheek, his thumb brushing over the skin there. He breaks away for a mere second, a fraction of a beat, to catch his own breath, but he kisses you right back after.
"Six," he whispers desperately. "Again."
This time, you laugh against his mouth— a slightly muffled sound, not any less amused— but you give in, still. When you separate for air again, one of your hands rests on his chest to keep him away. “You have to let me breathe, Cheol,” you huff.
Seungcheol has to resist groaning outright when your palm on his chest keeps him from coming in for another kiss. You're adorable like this, in the middle of the night, with sleep in your eyes and annoyance in your voice.
He knows he's being needy, taking advantage, but at the same time? It's all he seems to be able to do. Greedy, he hears you call him, and it's true.
"I'll let you breathe when I get my seventh kiss, then," he grumbles.
He can see the annoyance blooming on your expression, but he’s saved by one thing and one thing alone: The fact that you can get pretty greedy sometimes, too, especially when Seungcheol was involved.
"Fine," you say haughtily, feigning annoyance. "Just one more kiss."
Seungcheol's eyes glimmer with something akin to mischief. His hands move to your face again, his own lips curving up in a smirk. You give him an inch, he wants a mile. It's his style. "One more kiss. That I can work with."
He brushes a thumb over your cheek again, his grip in your hair loosening only to brush some stray strands away from your face. "Only fair that I get to pick the way, then," he says, his tone low.
He's going to make the most of this opportunity, and you're letting him.
His tongue darts out briefly to lick over his bottom lip. "Open your mouth."
When you let out a noncommittal hom and oblige, parting your lips, he knows he’s gone. Seeing the obedience in your face makes Seungcheol's stomach do a little bit of an excited flip. You're like this, this, even when you're tired, when you're barely awake.
It's a little addicting.
"Good," he says softly. It's all the warning you get before he's got his mouth on yours again.
He kisses you— devours you, his tongue parting your lips, sliding into your mouth, taking. The kiss is almost bruising and seems to throw you off balance, but you quickly recover by pressing flush against Seungcheol and holding the sides of his arms. If he were a better person, Seungcheol would let this be the last one. Would let this kiss end and call it a night.
But then the smallest of sounds escape you. A whimper, a soft noise that only makes all sense fly right out of Seungcheol's head. It's not fair, he thinks, that you still have a hold on him even in the middle of the night.
All it makes him do is pull you closer— press you up against the wall with his entire body, his hands still gripping your face as he kisses you deep. Harder than he usually would, rougher than he normally did.
He swallows the sound, his tongue still in your mouth.
Your fingernails are pressing into his biceps now. Your tongue is sinking into his lower lip; not quite biting, but enough to drag his focus away for a moment. "Seung," you sigh, and it’s like music to his goddamn ears.
He was Choi or Seungcheol when he was in your makeup chair. Cheol, when it was just the two of you. But Seung was something different entirely.
A small moan, low and quiet, gets caught in Seungcheol's throat when you bite into his lip, when you whine out his name like that. He knows what it means when you call him like that— knows what he's in for.
He relishes in it. In moments like these when he gets to be like this. When he doesn't have to be responsible, when he doesn't have to be a leader. He gets to be just Seung.
There isn't a single part of his body that's not on fire right now, not when he's got you pinned against the wall, not when you're all satin and soft against him. His grip on your face tightens, and now his lips are no longer on your mouth, but on your jaw, moving down to your neck, your throat.
A quiet, needy little ah falls out your lips when he nips at that spot on your pulse point, and there, there is exactly when he knows that he's got you exactly where he wants you. Pinned by his body, shaking and shivering like he's touching you for the first time.
If he was feeling a little less riled up, a little less needy, he'd keep up the teasing. But he can't, not now. His hands move from your face to your hips, moving under the satin of your pajamas. It's not enough, never enough.
Every sound that leaves your mouth, every little please, just, already sets a fire in his brain. Every part of his mind turns to static, white noise, as he keeps his lips on your throat, your neck, biting and nipping at your skin.
“Seung,” you hiss, your hands flying to his shoulders as you press your back on to the entryway wall, willing yourself not to crumple. “I’m going to get a noise complaint again—”
“I'll pay the fine,” he murmurs against your skin, his lips against your collarbone now, his hands still on your hips. His brain is starting to grow fuzzy, his thoughts less coherent, but this was the goal.
To get you like this. Soft and shaking and desperate. To make you his for the night, for just a little while. To hold some sort of control over something in his life.
“You can't just keep paying for— ah— the fines,” you’re babbling. “They're going— t-to kick me— Seung, fuck!"
Whatever you’re trying to say dies out when Seungcheol nips at your warm skin. The rational part of him, somewhere deep, deep inside, knows that you're right. He can't keep paying your fines for complaints of loud music and loud sex.
The part of him that's currently working on painting a bruise on your collarbone doesn't seem to care all that much.
"I'll pay," he repeats, between leaving a few more marks on your skin for good measure. "As many times as I have to—"
“Jesus Christ,” you cuss, your chest heaving as Seungcheol’s hand moves higher and higher up your shirt. “My neighbors are so fucking sick of me, and it’s all your fault.”
“My fault?” Even through the haze in his head, Seungcheol can't help the low scoff that he lets out. He wants to say that he couldn't care less about your neighbors— wants to say that your pretty mouth makes up for the noise, but something else catches his attention. The brush of his fingers on bare skin.
His eyes go wide, his brain suddenly clearing.
"You're not wearing anything underneath your pajamas," he deadpans, his voice coming out in a low drawl.
Of course, that adds up. You hadn’t been expecting Seungcheol, after all, so he can’t blame you for foregoing the underclothes. Still, it only stokes the growing flame in the base of his stomach. Especially when you move your head back against the wall so you’re looking right up at Seungcheol, the ghost of a smirk on your face.
“Wanna check for yourself?” you taunt.
A low groan falls out of Seungcheol's mouth as soon as you ask that. Like clockwork, his hands go to the hem of your shirt, pulling the fabric up slightly. Just a little bit, just to see if you're really not wearing anything beneath.
"You always like to tease," he says, his voice low. That hint of a smirk on your face is only serving to drive him that much crazier. "Go on, then. Show me, since you want to act all cocky."
You give him half an eye roll that’s more affectionate than anything else before reaching over to the back of your pajama collar. You pull the top over your head in one deft, swift movement. Seungcheol's eyes go wide for just a moment, taking in the sight of you, undressed, in front of him. It never stops shocking him, never stops making his heart thump a little harder, his breath coming out a little more labored.
“Happy?” you half-joke, your voice low.
He looks at you, up and down, before his eyes go back to your face. His hands move from your hips to your waist, fingers tracing over the sides of your chest as he shakes his head.
"Not yet," he says. "But I will be."
His hands keep tracing over your skin, his touch light— almost feathery, as he keeps his eyes fixed on your face. There's something about seeing you so exposed like this that's driving him absolutely insane, something about you being entirely at his mercy that's making his eyes grow dark.
He leans in, bringing his lips just past your ear. "Turn around," he murmurs, almost like a command.
He sees how you swallow hard, how you take in the familiar darkness in Seungcheol’s gaze. You know him, have known him for years, and that comes with trust. Unflinchingly, you twist around in his arms to press your chest against the wall.
He has you practically trapped, all against his chest and the wall. His eyes look at you up and down, taking in your bare shoulders and back, the way you've submitted to him so perfectly.
His hands go to your hips again, and his eyes look over your back, following the line of your bare spine. "What do you say we find a use for this wall besides me just pushing you up against it," he murmurs. "Hm?"
“Yes, please,” you whimper, and as soon as you agree, Seungcheol's hands tighten on your hips, his grip almost bruising as he pulls you a little closer to him. You're not going anywhere, not when he's got you like this.
He leans in, his body practically pressing up against your back, his chest against your skin. He bites down on your shoulder, pulling a strangled whine out from somewhere deep in your throat. "You look so goddamn pretty like this, love," he murmurs against your skin.
His hands move from your hips to your chest, tracing the skin there before he brings them up to your throat. He presses his fingers against your pulse point, feeling the thump thump thump of your heartbeat.
He can feel your heart thrumming against his hand, can practically hear you shaking. It's driving him absolutely insane— you, underneath him, trembling for him. The knowledge that he's got you like this, the fact that you're letting him take control, letting him do whatever he wants.
He moves his mouth to that spot on your neck again, the skin that's so sensitive that it makes you whimper and shiver. He always finds it so easy to tease those sounds out of you, and always relishes in doing it.
His hands stay at your neck, his fingers still pressed against your pulse point. This had always been one of Seungcheol's little habits— a single finger on your pulse point, as if he liked seeing which actions would make your heart rate spike, which words would have it hammering.
Seungcheol presses his lips on your skin again. "You're so loud."
He marvels at the way you ball your hands into fists, the way you shake all over with poorly concealed want and need as he keeps nipping and marking. "‘M not," you gasp, lurching forward against the wall. "‘M perfectly— hng!"
Everything is working in his favor.
You're shaking, and your heart is racing, and every noise you make is just more fodder for him. God, he loves it. Loves being the one to make you absolutely tremble and shiver like this. Loves the fact that he's the only one to make you feel like this.
"You're mine," he says again, bringing his mouth closer to your ear. He bites the shell of it, hard, before letting out a low hum.
This is his favorite place in the entire world— right against your back, feeling your body heat against his chest, his tongue running over your skin. He loves how reactive you are to him, how sensitive you are, how your body just melts under his touch.
"Say it," he mutters against your skin. "Who's in control?"
There it is. The million won question.
The whole reason you started these rendezvouses in the first place. He had been spinning out of control, and you had been lonely, and you clicked into place like magnets.
You give in, like you always do. The words are a soft whimper, almost a shout in your otherwise empty apartment. "You. You're in control, Seung."
That's all he wants to hear.
He digs his fingers into your jaw and wrenches your head so it's turned to look at him, his lips inches from yours. Even if there's a little pain, nothing in him is stopping. "Good," he mutters, his breath hot against your lips. "Good girl."
The kiss that follows is absolutely messy, the kind of kiss where it's just tongue and teeth and raw need. It's worlds different from the soft and easy kisses that Seungcheol asked for earlier, when he first came in complaining about five unanswered texts.
"Seung," you groan as you pull away for air. "Please—"
When you moan his name, it's like something snaps.
He growls low, his fingers slipping into the waistband of your shorts, gripping the fabric hard enough that there's a very real chance of them ripping. "Please what?" he mumbles against your neck. "You need to tell me what you need, love. Use your words."
"I hate you," you whine, and Seungcheol nearly smiles. He knows you’re not fond of begging, but he needs to hear it from you. At least, he wants to.
"You know what I—" you’re saying, but dammit, his control is already razor thin as is. He rips off the last fabric of clothing on you until you’re completely bare, pressed entirely up between the wall and him.
Somehow, your mind still has some shrivel of coherence to complain, "I liked this set, asshole!"
He grins against your skin at your words, chuckling at your whine, at the way you're just reacting to him. You can act annoyed, you can act like you don't need him, but he knows. "I'll buy you a new one," he hums, finally letting go of your shorts and letting them fall to the floor in tatters. "One for me to rip to shreds all over again."
That thought alone makes his blood sing.
It takes you a great effort to turn around, but somehow you manage. Seungcheol is still fully clothed and so your bare chest presses against the front of his shirt. The sight of you, naked, his hands at your hips, pressed right up against him, against his chest like this— he's gone.
And then you’re asking him, low and sweet as he has you caged in, "Where are you going to fuck me tonight, Seung?"
He can't even manage a word for a moment, his hands holding you so tight that he's definitely going to leave marks on your skin, his eyes fixed on your face.
He swallows hard, his mouth suddenly dry at the question. "You want me to say it out loud, hm?"
You go to steal the upper hand for a minute or so, and you do it so effectively. Your hand rises almost lazily to his neck, your finger instinctively finding his pulse point. He feels his heart rate speed up as he watches, just watches, you do it. You stand on your tiptoes to raise your lips directly to his ear.
All he can feel is the thunder of his heart racing against your hand. You seem to notice it, too, if the smile on your face is any indication.
"How about you just show me instead?" you say, and he’s convinced he’ll pass out then and there.
"You're a brat," he mutters through gritted teeth, his hand moving up from your hips and up your spine. "A brat who needs to be taught a lesson."
He takes a shuddering breath, almost completely lost in your little game, before he snaps back to himself. Seungcheol's hand leaves your hip and goes to your hand, gripping your wrist hard. "On the sofa," he says, and it’s nothing short of a command.
He practically drags you on to the piece of furniture, watching intently as you fall back with a small oomph. Seungcheol stands on the edge of the couch as you prop yourself up by the elbows to watch him right back.
The sight of you underneath him— your hair splayed against the cushions, your eyes half-lidded and fixed on him? It's absolutely perfect. It's the kind of thing that he wants to keep in his mind forever, the sight he wants to always be able to remember.
He lets out a noise under his breath as he undoes the button of his jeans, the sound of the zipper going down obscenely loud in the quiet room. "Gorgeous,” he breathes.
He gets his jeans undone and kicked off, his shirt following them not long after, and then he's on top of you, caging you in, his hands either side of your head, staring down at you.
The look in his eyes isn't something he really gets to show often— that raw need, that want, how desperate he is for you. He wants you, God, he wants you so badly, and you're letting him have you.
He dips his head to your neck, his lips against your skin, his breath hot against your pulse point, still absolutely obsessed with that spot. His hands find your wrists, pinning them back against the couch, while his knee finds its way between your thighs, pressing up against you.
You arch and squirm underneath him, visibly distressed with the facsimile of friction that you’re getting from his knee. “Seung,” you pant, grinding your dripping core against his knee. It sends a jolt of electricity through him. “Please— don’t wanna wait any more—”
“Where’s all that snark now, hm?” he teases, his teeth running over the skin on your neck. But he’s not any better off, his own self-control slipping through his very fingers as his hips grind down against you desperately.
"Been driving me insane, love," he whispers, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along the line of your neck. "Been dreaming about this for days. Missing you—”
A low keen escapes you, and he can only echo it as you tug at the last piece of material separating you. “Can we get this off already, please?” you huff as you hook your fingers at the waistband of his boxer shorts.
He groans against your skin, his teeth finally letting go when he lifts his head to look down at you, the expression on his face looking like he's fighting for control. "God, yes," he groans, lifting his hips just enough for you to tug them off him.
He kicks them off once you’ve yanked them down, and his hand— which has instinctively gravitated to your pulse point— feels how the beat absolutely skyrockets. One of your arms goes around his shoulder and the other, surprisingly, clutches his jaw.
You’re looking right at him as you say, "Fast and hard, Seung."
"Yeah?" he says, just the slightest hint of a surprise in his voice. "You want me to be rough with you, love?"
Seungcheol was usually a sweet lover. He liked taking his time, liked being gentle and responsible even in bed.
But there were particularly rough weeks, terrible days, where he just needed a means to an end. Where the sex was an outlet, where the best thing you could be for him was his.
He waits for your permission, because he still always remembers to ask no matter how far deep you’re in. The agreement comes in the form of the best three words.
"Ruin me, Seung."
You know him too well. You know how he works, you know how he thinks, and you know him better than anyone.
He groans in response to your words, his head dipping down to drag his teeth gently over your collarbone. He's trying to hang on to his control, he is, but it's a losing effort.
"I will, love." His breath is hot against your skin, his hands finding your hips. "Just give me a minute—"
He shifts, just for a moment, to find the condom in his jean pocket. He goes through the motions until he's back on top of you again, one hand coming up to grip your hip again, the other coming up to rest against your throat. He looks down at you, his eyes almost glowing.
"You trust me?" he mutters. His hand at your hip tightens; his hand at your throat barely clenches around your pulse point, his eyes never leaving yours.
You can feel it, see it. The way the little threads are beginning to unravel and fray. The way this was no longer Seungcheol of SEVENTEEN; not the leader, not the idol. This was something different entirely, someone else completely.
"I do," you whisper back, your eyes so full of adoration for him that he has to bite back the urge to scream. "I trust you, Seungcheol."
His full name is what really does it for him, because then he's pushing in, and you’re gasping, whimpering, trying to adjust around him and the fact that you’re practically clenching him on the get-go. Seungcheol eases in, nice and slow, because you’re too tightly coiled for him to do more than carefully bottom out. You’re both heaving, your breaths coming out as gasps; your own breaths are sharp, harsh, because Seungcheol is still choking you a little.
His head dips down to your shoulder because he needs something to hold on to, anything, while his mind spins. His head is dizzy feeling you like this, feeling you around him so tightly. He's trembling, his thighs shaking, but he's holding himself back as long as he can.
When Seungcheol gets as far in as he can possibly get, you let out twin groans. He’s completely sheathed inside of you and you’re fluttering around him in a way that’s dangerous.
“Y’can move, Seung,” you reassure him after a moment, the words coming out strained with desire. “As fast and hard as you want.”
You sound strangled, just like he feels, and it's taking him a mammoth amount of control to hold himself back. He groans against your shoulder at the sound of your voice, the words you say. He wants to move, to thrust, but he's trying to have some semblance of composure.
"Love," he says, his voice wrecked. "I—"
His voice breaks. It breaks, because there is only so much he can take, and he's beyond that point now. There's a tremor in his thighs, his hands clenching in the cushion below you.
You drag him right back down, with the sound that you let out that’s halfway a whine and a sigh. One of your hands goes to rest in the space between Seungcheol’s shoulder blades, as if to steady the two of you.
Your voice is surprisingly firm when you speak. "Let go," you command. And then, softer, "I need you."
Your words, your voice— it's in complete conflict with the situation you're currently in. And yet, it works. He lets out a sound, one that's somewhere between a growl and a whimper, his breath hot against your skin. And then he's moving and he's holding nothing back.
He's hard, brutal, and he's taking. His teeth on your shoulder; his breath against your neck; his nails digging into you.
It's a relentless, dizzying pace. Seungcheol bullies into your weeping cunt, fast and hard, and it draws out the most obscene sounds from you. Gasps, whines, an occasional scream when he hits a particularly sensitive spot. What has him seeing stars is the fact that you can't seem to settle on a name to moan. "Seung— Seungcheol— Cheol—"
Yes, you're saying, yes.
Seungcheol loses himself, utterly and completely, in you. You're on the edge, he can hear it; he can feel it, and God, he wants to hear you say his name. Every single one of them.
It almost sounds like a mantra, your voice, as he takes and takes and takes, his breathing harsh, ragged.
You go through all of the names you have for him, breathless and wrecked, until you can't even say anything because his hips are snapping into you with a ferocity that's rare but not unwelcome. Your pornographic moans reverberate in your otherwise empty apartment, and Seungcheol thinks he might go insane.
"'M close," you choke out. "Cheollie, baby, I'm— ah, fuck— Seung—"
His breath catches at your words, his eyes closing for a moment as he groans. You, you, in all your perfect, glorious, undone state. It’s a sight he wishes he could capture, freeze in time.
He lets out a whimper, his words almost slurred when he responds. "Love— I—"
He's never been this rough, never this intense. You're the only one, the only person he's ever let himself go like this with. The only person who he's ever let see everything, take everything.
He's on the edge, he's there, he's—
"C'mon," he whines, his voice barely above a whisper, his hand clenching hard around your hip. "With me, love, please."
It's a miracle that you can even nod, can even find your voice as Seungcheol keeps on going with his erratic, stuttering thrusts. "With you," you gasp.
He snaps into you, then, and you arch up with a scream of his name. There’s the familiar white-hot flash of pleasure; the impossibly tight clench of your walls around him.
He stays buried in you for several long moments, his forehead resting against your shoulder, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his heart pounding so hard he can feel it in his ears. He has never felt so utterly spent in his entire life, never been so completely, utterly drained of energy. He's weak against you. He’s weak because of you.
"God," he finally manages to mutter.
He lifts his head, just enough to be able to look at you, but he can't even muster a grin. He's spent and he knows you know that.
His hand comes up slightly, to brush the hair off of your forehead. "I think..." he says, his voice thick and hoarse, "I think I ruined you, love."
You let out a breathless laugh, one that you have to push out of your heaving chest. "You—" you try to say, but the words don't form, not at first. You take a few moments to take in some air, to gulp past the lump in your throat. "You're a fool."
His lips twitch into a tired but genuine smile at the sound of your laugh. It’s a soft sound that he's always thought sounds beautiful, especially coming from you.
A hoarse, broken laugh of his own escapes; his hand coming up to rest at your jawline, his thumb gently tracing over the warm skin there. He's still catching his breath, but he's slowly gathering himself.
"Am I a fool?" he asks quietly, leaning his forehead against yours. "What does that make you, then?"
You’re a fool, too, he thinks to himself. For letting me have this.
Instead of answering him, you press a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. It’s the only answer he’s going to get from you for now, it seems.
He lets out a soft huff, moving his head back just slightly, his eyes closing. "You're beautiful, you know that?" he says quietly, his voice still rough with fatigue.
"Every time," you respond. Your own voice is strained, almost tired, but there's a hint of amused exasperation. "You say that every time, Cheol."
His eyes opened once again to look at you.
"Because it's true," he says simply, his voice soft and sincere, the hand resting at your jaw moving to brush your hair back from your face. "It's always true, love."
He lets out a soft sigh, his eyes tracing over your face, taking in every inch of you. His eyes pause at your lips for a moment, his tongue gently wetting his own, his gaze finally moving back up to meet your eyes.
You thread your shaking fingers through the back of his hair and answer his unspoken question. "Kiss me soft and easy, Cheol," you whisper.
The moment the words leave your mouth, he's in action.
He leans forward without a second thought, the hand not buried in your hair going to rest on your hip, his lips meeting yours in a soft, gentle kiss.
There's no heat in it, no want or need. Just a soft press of his lips against yours, gentle and slow.
It's languid and unhurried. Like there's nowhere either of you have to be after this. For a moment, you can pretend that this is normal— that Seungcheol will not have to leave, and that you’ll not have to change into new pajamas because he'd broken yours, and that you can be... well, something, anything aside from what you are now.
But it's wishful thinking, you both know, so all Seungcheol can do is kiss you. He lets out a soft sound, almost a sigh, as his tongue slides into your mouth, his hand on your hip tightening slightly. His other hand is in your hair still, his fingers gently tracing over your scalp, his body almost melting against yours.
He will have to leave. He always does. But for now, he's here, with you, and you feel perfect, and—
Five minutes, he bargains. Five more minutes.
And then things end, not really by your own accord.
The sharp, shrill sound of Seungcheol's phone ringing breaks through your haze. You pull away, a bit jolted at the foreign sound— at something other than your words, your breathing, reverberating in the room. It takes you a beat too long to realize someone is calling him— his phone in his discarded jeans— in the godawful middle of the night.
He lets out a loud groan, the sound tired and drawn out, and he can't help but rest his forehead against your shoulder once again, letting out a resigned sigh.
"God, save me," he mutters, his voice rough. "What time is it?"
You chuckle lightly. "Go on," you urge softly, not because you want to but because you have to. "Answer."
Seungcheol lets out another loud, drawn out sigh, his shoulders slumping in obvious defeat. He reluctantly lifts his head from your shoulder with a grumble, but he can't quite stop himself from pressing a kiss to your cheek just before he shifts up and off of the couch.
Once he’s reached down to grab his phone from where it's stuffed in the pocket of his jeans, he answers without looking at the caller ID. "Yeah?"
"Hyung!"
It's Soonyoung— of course it's Soonyoung— calling.
"Are you still at the company?" the younger member asks. "I think I forgot my headset in one of the practice rooms, and Minghao said you didn't go home with them."
"It's midnight, Soonyoung."
You shit over on the couch, careful not to make any sound. Not to give Soonyoung any suspicion that Seungcheol might be somewhere where he shouldn't be. You press a small, reassuring kiss to Seungcheol's hip as Soonyoung goes on to whine, "Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's the expensive headset, hyung. If you're still there, could you check? Please?"
Seungcheol lets out a huff— a mixture of resigned affection and irritation— at the feeling of your lips against his skin. He can feel the exhaustion deep within his bones now, and all he wants to do is go back to snuggling into you for the night.
But he can't say no to Soonyoung, especially not at this time of night.
"Fine," he grumbles, letting out a huff. "Which practice room?"
You can hear the moment Soonyoung practically brightens with triumph.
"Third floor!" he says happily, and you bury your face into Seungcheol's side to keep yourself from laughing. "You're the best, hyung! I'll buy you a meal tomorrow for the trouble!"
He reaches down with the hand not holding his phone, pressing his palm to the top of your head, pushing lightly down. A warning of don't laugh. "Just be thankful I'm your hyung, kid," Seungcheol grouses.
Soonyoung ends the call soon enough, saying some things about sending Seungcheol a photo of his headset so he knows exactly which one is missing. When it's back to just the two of you again, you tilt your head up to look at Seungcheol.
"You're really going back for it tonight?" you ask, even though you already know the answer.
The corner of his lip twitches into a half smile at the way you look up at him. His eyes takein the sight of you— his hand on the back of your head, his fingers gently twisting strands of your hair.
"Of course I am," he sighs. "I can't say no to him, love."
You shift upward so you can sit side by side with Seungcheol. Both of you have yet to put on any clothes, but you’ve at least gathered your bearings enough to form coherent words now.
"You can't say 'no' to any of them," you tease as you press a gentle kiss to his cheek. There's an almost blinding affection in your tone as you say, "You and your goddamn boys."
Seungcheol reaches out, wrapping an arm around your waist to tug you closer to him. Briefly, he presses his lips against your hair. His eyes are almost tender as he speaks.
"They're my boys," he says, his voice soft.
You let the words hang there for just a moment. It’s an admission, one that both of you have known for the longest time, but it's also a reminder. It’s the reason why you and Seungcheol can never be more than this—because he has his boys, and he would never do anything to jeopardize them.
You press your face against the column of his neck for just one more precious moment. You’ve never been selfish about Seungcheol, but there were nights when you thought about it. Just… thought about it.
The thought never wins.
"Let’s clean up, get dressed," you whisper into his skin. "So you can head to the company sooner."
He lets out a soft, almost painful exhale. He knows what you're thinking, what you're feeling; he's thought about it himself, as well. He hates having to leave you, hates having to say that he has to leave you. But his boys are his boys, and one day all this will be over, and then...
He can't think about it right now, though.
Instead, he nods, pressing a light kiss to your temple. "Yeah."
It takes about ten minutes or so for you both to gather everything together. Seungcheol still looks tired, though for different reasons now. He’s essentially traded one exhaustion for another.
As he puts on the shoes he left in your entryway, you lean against your doorway with your arms crossed over your chest. "I’ll be holding you accountable for my pajama set," you warn him. "And for tomorrow’s noise complaint."
"Yeah, yeah," he huffs, taking a step toward you. "Don't worry, I haven't forgotten."
His face softens as he reaches you, his hands coming up to grab your elbows, gently pulling you closer to him. "Sorry," he says. "Again."
"You’re not sorry, " you sigh pointedly, more out of spite than anything. It’s the truth—he’s not really that apologetic about losing control every now and then, about your neighbors knowing you’re being pulled close every so often.
When you bury your face into his chest, he lets out a low, gruff chuckle, his chin resting gently against the top of your head. His arms wrap around you, holding you tightly against him, just like every single time before.
"You’re right," he murmurs. A quiet, affectionate admission. “Not sorry. Not even a little.”
He holds you there against him, his eyes fluttering shut as he allows himself just a few more moments before he has to leave. You both stay there, allowing yourselves that moment, until the tension in Seungcheol’s shoulders fades and your annoyance at your torn pajamas ebbs. It could’ve been five minutes, maybe less, but then Seungcheol’s phone pings with a text—surely Soonyoung asking if he’s found his headset.
You’re the one who takes the step back, putting some distance between you. "Drive safe," you tell Seungcheol. "Text me when you’re there."
Resigned. That’s the only way to describe the smile that tugs at his lips. "Yeah," he says. "I will."
True to his word, Seungcheol does indeed send you a text about an hour or so after he'd arrived at the company, informing you that he was there and had found Soonyoung’s headset.
He's still exhausted, and all he wants is to be back. Back inside of you, back with you. But he can't do any of that. At least, not right now. Not at this point.
I miss you already, is the only other thing he adds to his text.
Your text comes in only moments later, like you had been waiting by your phone.
you're a fool. head home. take care.
A soft sigh escapes him the moment he reads your text, his eyes flickering over the words you'd typed, the harshness of it. It's another layer of protection for the both of you, but it's still not easy to read.
He's about to respond with something snarky, some light-hearted joke to tease you a bit, but he stops himself at the last moment. He knows that you're right.
He needs to head home. He needs to take care.
And he’s an absolute goddamn fool, in more ways than one.
#seungcheol x reader#choi seungcheol x reader#scoups x reader#seungcheol smut#scoups smut#seungcheol imagines#scoups imagines#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt smut#seventeen smut#( am i happy with this ? not ... entirely! but it's here! LOL )#( i think i've mentioned once before that i'm not very good at smut so this was dizzying )#( but it's also The longest svt fic i have in my drafts. i just cant be assed [yet] to beta it )#( anyway.... enjoy [???] <3 )#୨ৎ muse .ᐟ svt#୨ৎ penned by ylangelegy
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🎹Tears on My Piano
*part of the best of both worlds series*
Driver: Charles Leclerc Genre: SMAU/Fluff Occupation: Pianist/Songwriter/Artist
☆ TAG LIST IS CLOSED ☆
y/nferrai has posted
liked by y/n.nation, charlie_leclerc, trustthefund, thewink, and 3,543,156 others
y/nferrari BEST DAY EVER ❤️❤️❤️ the dream continues, thank you for everything, I love you all ❤️🤍
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oscarpiastri congrats! it was an honor to be on the podium with you! *liked by y/nferrari
vroomvroomgirl she actually did it 😭😭
y/nwonmonaco OUR GIRL IS THE WINNER OF THE MONACO GP - COULDN'T BE PROUDER
carlossainz55 vamos y/n! *liked by y/nferrari
charlie_leclerc glad to have witnessed your win! 🤩 I'll see you again soon! *liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari thank you Charlie! glad the lucky charm worked 😉
charlespianonote the comment was so cute - I wonder if they're together 🤔
worldof_y/n she's liked so many other comments, don't get ahead of yourself
leclercmusic but 👆 she responded back and didn't do that to her fellow drivers
l/nstappen she responded to max and lewis 😒
l/nleclerc WAIT DID HE SAY SEE HER AGAIN SOON?
maxverstappen1 great race y/n! (even if I wanted to sleep through it) I couldn't be more proud of you 🤍 *liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari maxieeeee 🥹 thank you ❤️
charliesquared I can just envision y/n freaking out when she met Charlie since she's such a big fan 🤣
charlieputh great race y/n! I'm so so proud of you 🫶 (pls stream my music)
y/nfan Ariana what are you doing here?????????
lewishamilton congrats future teammate! you're on your way to doing big things! *liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari LEWIS MAKING ME CRY - I CAN'T WAIT TO RACE WITH YOU NEXT YEAR 😭❤️
cary/n the Carlos erasure is terrible 😭
youry/n girl get over it 🙄
scuderiaferrari our princess! ❤️ 👑
charlie_leclerc has posted
liked by charlieputh, yamaha, y/nferrari, charliesquared, and 1,830,265 others
charlie_leclerc today I got to fulfill a childhood dream of mine that included a photoshoot and putting on a Ferrari F1 helmet! Merci Ferrari and GQ for making this photoshoot happen - it was a lot of fun ❤️🏎
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leclercs7thgrammy we've lost him to the vroom vroom people 👊😔
charliesangels models better be thankful Charles chose music and not modeling
scuderiaferrari lovely to have you again Charlie! it was great to see you and not just hear your voice 😉 *liked by charlie_leclerc
charlieferrari this just proves that y/n put his songs on their playlists
scuderiaferrari (it's the only thing she listens to 🤭)
charlieferarri I KNEW IT
y/nferrari my helmet looks better on you than it does me 🥲
charlie_leclerc nooooooooo, it could never. I think it looks best on it's driver 😊
y/ngoesvroom your honor they're sickening
charlieputh so this is what you've been up to instead of meeting me in the studio 😒
charlie_leclerc sorry mate, I was not about to give up this opportunity! (this may help us later on with the - you know 😈)
charlieputh ooohhhhhhhhh
charliesquared WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
puth4you JOINT ALBUM KINGS? JOINT ALBUM ANNOUCEMENT TONIGHT?? 👑
vroomvroomgirl this is for all the people on twitter who complained about y/n listening to charlie. he's the biggest fan boy of all
charliepianokeys damn, never knew he'd look so good in red 🤤
taylorswift so happy for you Charlie 🥳 *liked by charlie_leclerc
maxverstappen1 would have looked better if it was blue 😏
y/nferrari 🤺🤺🤺 GET YOUR OWN MUSICIAN MAX
maxverstappen1 WHAT IF I LIKE CHARLIE'S MUSIC TOO?
y/nferrari YOU TOOK MY FIRST WIN AWAY, YOU WON'T TAKE AWAY MY ARTIST OF THE YEAR
maxverstappen1 YOU'RE STILL ON THAT? THAT WAS 5 YEARS AGO
y/nferrari AND???? YOU RUINED MY RACE
charlie_leclerc guys 🤣
piano_f1intro not l/nstappen beefing in the comments over Charlie and he's just ☺️😚
y/n16l/n do you think y/n volunteered to let Charlie use her helmet intead of Carlos?
vamoscarlos55 she probably didn't even let Carlos know that Charlie was coming 💀
f1gossipgirl I'm just waiting for the rumors to start up about Charlie and y/n
sillygeese twitter is having a field day with these two
f1wags has posted
liked by f1gossipgirl, leclercnews, oscarpiastri, and 84,085 others
f1wags due to some very recent activity between Charlie and our grid queen y/n l/n, we thought we'd do an intro for a possible wag
charles marc herve percival leclerc, better known as charlie, is a monegasque pianist/songwriter/artist. charlie released his first single "as long as I breathe" in 2015, which was an overnight sensation. since then, the monegasque's online platform has grown as well as his world-wide popularity. the artist has won many awards, which includes 7 grammys to his name.
in 2023, he toured with Taylor Swift for the first leg of the Eras Tour. he had been featured on the midnights album as a writer and producer of "snow on the beach", "karma", and "midnight rain". his most recent work with the female singer was "the prophecy" from TTPD. Charlie has also worked with many other artist such as Adele, Maneskin, Noah Kahan, and Hozier. He is rumored to be in works with Charlie Puth, someone he has known since his early days.
y/n's fans started to comment on his posts after a small interaction on the driver's monaco post in may. however, they have been following each other on socials since early 2020. one of y/n's highlights on instagram has a post from April of that year where charlie's song is loudly playing in the background.
charlie has expressed that Ferrari is his favorite formula 1 team and recently did a photoshoot with the team along with GQ Magazine, which might mean some type of sponsorship from the brand.
is there something going on between these two or is it just friendly banter? 👀
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f1gossipgirl there's definitely something there, but I think they're just really good friend
worldofpiano they would make a good couple though. they're both very successful so it's not like they're using each other for gain 🤷♀️
y/nsferrarif40 y/n has also been to many of his concerts before 😊 *liked by f1wags
charlieputh forgot to mention that I've also known y/n for years, just putting that out 🙃
charliesquared he really said "I've known y/n for longer so back off"
f1_delulu not Oscar creeping in the likes 📸🤨
princessferrari at least he's better than her timothee 🤢
shewoninmonaco WE DON'T SPEAK HIS NAME 😤
oscarpiastri let's not bring him up pls
drivesincircles WAIT Y/N DATED TIMOTHEE CHALAMET?? (also hi Oscar I love you)
princessferrari yes she did but he was AWFUL
drivers&co I think Charlie is a very good good fit for y/n
l/nstappen even though I could see max and y/n together, her and charlie would be so cute
charliesangels CHARLIE - DROP ANOTHER ALBUM - AND MY LIFE IS YOURS 🧎♀️
charlieputh and charlie_leclerc has posted
liked by y/nferrari, dior, charliesquared, vroomvroom16, and 1,958,730 others
charlieputh CHARLIE - OUT EVERYWHERE JUNE 10, 2024
this album has been in work for almost a year, and it can final be yours to hear. charlie_leclerc has been my rock and bandmate for more than that time and I cannot thank him enough (even if he left me for some cars)
final stadiums will be out soon for the tour, so be on the lookout 👀
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leclercs7thgrammy oh that 8th is going to hit different after this album 😮💨
y/nsworld dang y/n was here early 🤣
y/nferrari literally cannot wait to listen to it. I'm so proud of you 🫶 *liked by charlieputh
charlieputh I'm surprised you haven't blown up my phone asking to hear it early
y/nferrari your phone is on do not disturb 🙂
ferrari_listens I just know that y/n is going to have the album on repeat
charlie_leclerc glad to have been apart of this journey with you mate. it was a blast to see you in the studio 🙌 *liked by charlieputh
charlieputh now I'll have to return you the favor for your next album
asharpcharles CHARLES ALBUM WHEN?????
maxverstappen1 great demos, can't wait to hear the entire thing
y/nferrari YOU'VE HEARD THE DEMOS? CHARLIE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU 😡
charlie_leclerc what did I do? 🥺
y/nferrari not you charlie ☺️, the other one 😒
charlieputh MAX YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL - Y/N STOP TRYING TO CALL ME
y/nferrari fine.
charlieputh thank God it stopped
charlieputh DID YOU JUST CALL MY MOM ON ME? HOW'D YOU EVEN GET HER NUMBER???????
y/nferrari 😗
charlie16 finally my town is on the list!
charliesversion definitly going to have to get tickets for the Las Vegas show since I'm going to the Grand Prix too!
y/nferrari has posted
liked by charlie_leclerc, y/nworldchamp, verstopen33, and 2,049,867 others
y/nferrari VIVAAAAAA LAS VEGAASSS
the city of sin and lights turned out better than expected and ended with a race win! thank you to all of my supporters tonight! I love you all ❤️🫶
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y/n16 finally had some safety car luck! last year was not going to repeat itself!
princessofferrari thank you ferrari for pitting under the safety car unlike last year 😒
carlossainz55 glad to have put my car in p2 behind you! one more race my friend 💪 *liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari carloossss 🥺 I'm crying in my drivers room 😭
oscarpiastri she is because I can hear her from outside
lewishamilton does she cry often? I just want to be ready for next season
carlossainz55 si, either when she's tired, she listens to her sad playlist, or she misses her boyfriend
y/nferrari CARLOS
carlossainz55 oops... 🫢
l/nstappen3316 UHHHHHH Y/N HAS A BOYFRIEND??
charliexy/n guys - she said she loved her supports, Charlie was in her garage, ergo y/n loves Charlie. I've connected it
asharpcharles you haven't connected shit
charliexy/n I've connect it
vroomvroomgirl guys, if y/n wins the next race, she'll pass lando and finish p2 in the standings!
charlie_leclerc glad to have witness yet another race win! congrats race winner 😆 *liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari thank you for coming even if you have your show tomorrow :)
charlie_leclerc you're attending oui?
y/nferrari wouldn't miss it! 😝
leclercs7thgrammy I can't believe I got to watch y/n win the Las Vegas Grand Prix and I get to see Charlie in concert tomorrow!
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y/nferrari gotta lower the noise a little bit now, if he knows I'm in love, he's going to run away (but I could always just catch him in my car 🤪)
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shedrivesincircles oh girly is down bad for her boyfriend
ferrari_listens “Charlie be quiet” was her second most listen to song out of the album btw 😉
maxverstappen1 ok now I see why you like the album so much
y/nferrari I totally know you cried when they played "never see you again" as a surprise song
maxverstappen1 i did not.
danielricciardo oh he definitly did. I'll send you the proof 😂
maxverstappen1 IT WAS SAD OK - ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THAT ONE SCENE FROM FAST AND FURIOUS
oscarpiastri you watch fast and furious?
y/nferrari YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T WATCH THEM WITH ME BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO INACCURATE
maxverstappen1 THEY ARE! LIKE WHO GOES AN ENTIRE MOVIE WITHOUT FILLING UP ON GAS?????
worldofpiano Charles in the second picture 🤤
charliesangels Charlie on the keyboard >>>
y/nferrari this makes me wanna do something while I'm in vegas 🤔
maxverstappen1 well, the car is parked by that chapel thing. we can go to the casino!
danielricciardo I say we go visit the strip!
oscarpiastri but I wanted to see the sphere 🥺
lewishamitlon guys?
maxverstappen1 you saw the sphere last year Oscar. dan they have casinos on the strip!
oscarpiastri I drove past it. that doesn't count
lewishamilton guys???
danielricciardo isn't the sphere on the strip?
maxverstappen1 oh yeahhhhh, I guess we can do all?
lewishamilton GUYS?
oscarpiastri what lewis?
lewishamitlon where did y/n go?
osco81 they lost y/n oh my gosh I'm dead 💀
pianof1_intro I wonder where y/n went...maybe she went to pick up her boyfriend?
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y/nferrari this was max's fault ok? the chapel was too cute to NOT get married in
11.24.24 💍
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maxverstappen1 THIS WAS NOT MY FAULT
maxverstappen1 WHY ARE YOU BLAMING ME??
maxverstappen1 everything aside, I'm very happy for you! *liked by y/nferrari
maxverstappen1 BUT STOP TELLING EVERYONE THAT THIS WAS MY FAULT
charliesangles so we JUST found out that she had a boyfriend AND NOW SHE'S MARRIED????
vroomvroomgirl she drives fast for a living 🤷♀️
world_of_y/n you're married, STOP IT WITH THE SOFT LAUNCH I WANNA SEE HIS FACE 👹
charlie_leclerc very happy for you! glad my concert could help 😉
y/nferrari hehehehehe 🤭
f1fan24 so does the grid know who he is?
oscarpiastri yes and they're insufferable together 🤢
y/nferrari HEY I don't say that stuff about you and lily 🤨
l/nstappen1633 aw man, I wanted her and max to end up together
maxverstappen1 she knows I'm too good for her anyway 😌
y/nferrari AS IF - I WOULDN'T WANT TO KISS THOSE LIPS EVER
maxverstappen1 WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY LIPS?????
y/nferrari everything.
leclercs7thgrammy I wonder if she played any of charlie's music 🤔
scuderiaferrari even though we weren't aware this would happen tonight, we are very proud of you y/n 🥰
y/nferrari I give my deepest apologies to the pr team - I love you all 🫶
charliexy/n I want to be delusional so much 😭
charliesquared the pictures are everything!
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charlie_leclerc in preparation for the January concert, I have been working on my second classical album entitled Timeless! the songs that I have composed are tailored after the year of 2024. every emotion, feeling, and presence that I felt has been molded into my music.
these songs will be played for the first time at the Teatro Colon concert hall. once the performances are over, the songs will be out everywhere for everyone's enjoyment.
thank you for your unwavering suppoooorrrrrt 😘
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leclercs8thgrammy so we win a grammy for "tears on my piano" and now we get another album? he is spoiling us
worldofpiano I'm getting tickets now, I cannot wait to hear the album in person
y/n.nation it's so weird to see y/n not in the likes or comments 😭
vroomvroomgirl she got married and vanished 🫤
shedrivesincircles didn't even go on their annual skiing trip with her team. I know joris and Andrea missed her 🥺
charliesangels there better be a vinyl so I can buy one for my record player
charlieputh congrats man! tour this year? 😗 *liked by charlie_leclerc
charlie_leclerc I don't know mate, I wasn't the same after the tour 😅
maxverstappen1 we all know why *this comment has been deleted
verstopen33 MAX? WANNA SHARE WITH THE CLASS
the_lewink guys...is that a wedding ring in the first picture 🤨
l/nstappen3316 he just wears rings all the time, could be one of his normal ones??
charliexy/n pls let it NOT be a wedding ring. we lost y/n, I don't wanna lose charlie too 😭
scuderiaferrari that's our musician! can't wait to add it to the playlist! *liked by charlie_leclerc
asharpcharlie brb getting front row tickets asap
y/nworldchamp tell me why I thought he was about to announce that he and y/n got married since he said he kept a secret from us 😭
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charlie_leclerc thank you to everyone who attended tonights concert. I know I shed tears earlier, but my gratitude still continues to over-pour from all the support.
timeless is now yours on all platforms 🖤
dedicated to my one and only. mon coeur, je t'aime ❤️💍
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asharpcharlie I cried during the entire thing. the music was so touching. we're so proud of you Charlie
charliesangels just listened to the first two songs and I'm already sobbing
charliesquared "when I'm with you" has my heart. no wonder it's the title song
noahkahanmusic mega job mate 👏 *liked by charlie_leclerc
oscarpiastri I wasn't there in person, but I just know you blew the crowd away mate *liked by charlie_leclerc
charliexy/n the lack of y/n is so concerning 😭
world_of_y/n she was there tonight!
y/nworldchamp I can't even find her insta anymore? did she change her profile?
leclercs8thgrammy I can smell the 9th grammy cooking rn
taylorswift very proud of the artist you've become! might have to steal you away next year 😉
charlieputh I think I already called dibs miss swift
hozier nah, he's been mine since 2021 😙
leclercferrari sorry, but I put a ring on it first 😝 *liked by charlie_lelcerc
the_lewink Y/N????
vroomvroomgirl I know y/n has already added the entire album to her playlist
scuderiaferrari yes she has 😌 it's already playing at hq
charliesquared the devil works fast but y/n works faster
y/nsworld I NEED ANSWERS AS TO WHY Y/N CHANGED HER USER TO LECLERCFERRARI??
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leclercferrari growing up, I always wished I could have learned the piano instead of karting every weekend. however, if my mother had listened to me, then I wouldn't have met the love of my life.
charlie, you never cease to amaze me my love. every thing you put your heart into blooms with success. thank you for entrusting your heart to me. I hope that I can love it as much as you love mine.
I will love you until your hands can no longer play your instrument, for then I can play our old songs until our hearts no longer beat.
my pride for you knows no limits. I love you ❤️
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y/nsworld SO IT WAS CHARLES IN VEGAS???
leclercs8thgrammy oh my gosh I'm crying again 😭
danielricciardo max is crying, thought you should know
maxverstappen1 DANIEL WHY?
oscarpiastri just let it happen man and join the club 😭
maxverstappen1 fine 😭
charlie_leclerc mon amour 🥺 i will play the piano for you until I can no longer breathe *liked by leclercferrari
leclercferrari I love you so much. you can be my passenger princess until I can no longer breathe 👑
charlie_lelcerc I think I will enjoy that 😌
charliesangels so we can all agree that timeless is written about y/n
charliexy/n get someone who will make an entire album for you 😫
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#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc imagine#pianist Charles leclerc#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc#formula 1 x you#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc fic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#imagine smau#smau#formula one imagine#f1 x driver!reader#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you
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My reasons to hate Drake
First things first, I'm the reales- wait, wrong theme. First of all, I would like to say this is NOT an unbiased recap, this is literally just me listing things I've hated about Drake for years. You might as well join in on the hate train. Go watch some YouTube video essays on this if you wanna know more!!! You'll find plentyyyy
Certified Pedophile ("allegedly"): Texting teen girls until they're of age and then go and date them. ew.
Cosplay Gangsta: disrespecting the culture as a whole, but especially what hiphop is about. Flexing money, cars, girls, drugs, clothes bc he never understood hiphop was never about flexing, but about being heard bc you're oppressed, about revolution. Now we got his die-hard fans running around acting like this is true rap. no. "You don't know nun bout dat!"
Culture Vulture: jumping from trend to trend in order to make it "his own", faking accents that he has no business playing with and dropping them as soon as he's done with this specific type of genre bc it's not trendy anymore. Adapting whole "personas" around this, instead of just merely collabing with other artists. Jamaican and African accents are just 2 examples here.
Blackness: Drake never really got out of his acting career. Back on DeGrassi he was acting as a high school jock. Now he's acting like a tough black guy who's from the streets and knows what it's like to be down bad, when this was never his life. Lil Wayne warned him to never change and act tough just bc he would sign to Weezy's label where the rappers were predominantly "gangsta type dudes". And what did Drizzy do? He's acting all tough and "outta dem streets". He's clearly overcompensating for not feeling black enough (I've already reblogged 2 posts about this, pls see these for further context). Drake's mad for not being referred to as a rapper who speaks on being black, when in reality the black experience was never of topic in any of his songs. He also doesn't give back to the community.
Lil Wayne: Drake had relations with fellow rapper Lil Wayne's gf (she actually was of age, ayoooo!) while Wayne was away in prison. Wayne got word of the fact his gf was cheating on him with the young guy he signed under his label and was pissed. Drake, in an effort to smooth out the situation, got Wayne's face tattooed on his arm. Say what you will about portrait tattoos, but this story is just so fucking typical Drake. How the fuck do you think this is gonna help anyone?
Validation: Drake donates money in the music video for God's Plan, only to earn more money with that video/song than he donated in the first place. He felt good about donating and then never did that shit again.
Numbers: As a great man once said: "Crack fiends bought 10 million rocks, that don't mean it's good. It don't mean nothing." (As you can imagine, that man was 2Pac). And with that I say that proving your worth in the industry by numbers don't mean a lot. It means you and your team figured out the market and started producing stupid, vapid, but terribly long albums to maximize streaming numbers, automatically bumping up your place in the industry. This is about quantity, not quality - good rap/ hiphop was never about that. Drake actively validates his music and status with his fame, money and streams and neither him nor his fans seem to get that says nothing about the artistic value of his music. "Numbers lie too, fuck your pride, too!" (I mean really, Baby Shark has 14 Billion views on YouTube - you think that's REAL artistry, Mister Aubrey?)
Cocky Ass Bitch: I would be okay with a lot of his music if Drake just knew his fucking place. He went pop ages ago, but still people (including himself) refer to him as a rapper - no even, as THE rapper, placing him in the Top 3. Sometimes I feel like y'all do this, just to piss me off personally. Apart from everything else wrong with Drake, there's nothing wrong with liking music like his persé. Not everyone likes conscious/ deep stuff and sometimes, when you with the homies, you just wanna chill and listen to something "mindless" - MIND you, I'm not looking down on "non-conscious" rap, I'm just saying not every artist has to be woke/ deep all the time and some "empty" party anthem about girls, fashion, cars and alcoholism is fun at times. These party anthems deserve their place. And a child actor turned rapper turned POP STAR is valid in my books - just not if it's Drake. Apropos cockiness: The dude compares himself multiple times to Michael Jackson and while that got a few good lines out of him, I believe it's close to fucking blasphemy. Drake and MJ on the same pedastal. I mean sure, questionable stuff happening with kids, both of them wildly successful in their industry (mind you, streaming like today wasn't around back then and many of the numbers cannot be compared), but one of them a real talent and the other one some guy who more or less made it as an industry plant. "I can dance like Michael Jackson? / I'd argue your skills really lack, son!" (okay sorry, I know, that was corny as fuck xD) Dude is flexing with numbers instead of poetic abilities -
About the art itself:
Ghostwriters: "What poetic abilities?", I hear you ask - Yeah, don't think I forgot! Best believe I been cooking this one. There's evidence for Drake having ghostwriters - which on its own is fine, don't believe every star writes every single bar on their own. My problem with this is, that Drake keeps his cocky attitude, even though many of his hits aren't really Aubrey-written and also many ghostwriters never get their credit (this is why they're called "ghostwriters", I know that this is not something specific to Drake, but slapping one more name on the credits ain't that hard, when you're worth a billion bucks already). This is the rap equivalent of flexing your homework when you know DAMN WELL copied it off of your best friend and did nothing for that success. I guess his song Right Hand wasn't about a romantic interested after all, but the dudes who been writing it!
STOLEN SHIT: Why in hell is no one mentioning this on here? Drake is KNOWN for stealing other artists' verse metres (referred to as "flows", y'all tumblr, idk how much you guys do know, okay?), melodies, whole beats, samples or verses in general. In no other studio would you see mentions of a "reference track" concerning songwriting. They take a song as reference and build around it as they construct a beat. There's PLENTY of evidence for this happening, one story really had me baffled, where a young indie-rapper met Drake in the early 2010s, gave him his CD to listen to and a whopping 5 years later the indie-rapper realizes Drake just fucking stole his entire song (a really personal one at that) on his latest album back then. Being indie, of course the guy had little to no means of fighting back with lawyers or anything, man's was working a 9to5 job and had other stuff going on. Before you wanna argue with me though: YES. There is a difference between stealing and paying hommage. One famous example is Drake biting Eminem's Superman flow on Chicago Freestyle: "But I do know one thing though/ Bitches, they come, they go/ Saturday through Sunday, Monday / Monday through Sunday, yo/ Maybe I'll love you one day/ Maybe we'll someday grow". The only good thing Drake ever did was changing Em's "Bitches" to "Women" on his song. Other than that: exact same few bars. This is a hommage. Why? Because Eminem, that's why. You can pay hommage to great, well-known artists with good bars. It takes a common ground of knowledge from artist to audience to make a hommage like this work. That can go well. Kendrick copies the flow of a Kanye West song on HiiiPower and it works just fine because you listen to either of the song and think: "Ah yeah exactly, that one part, okay, I see you." You don't pay hommage to a small, unknown, indie-rapper by copying his whole verse about his Mom, when you would never say stuff like that on your records before. You don't, because it wouldn't work. None of your listeners would understand the innuendo at all, because no one ever heard of the "great guy you'd be paying hommage to". So shut up.
Music: It's just not that good. Like yeah, he had a few bangers, but let's not exaggerate. Artistically Drake does not offer anything. If he ever did, he probably left all of that on the first few albums he still rapped on. His delivery sucks, his singing voice sounds like he's tryna be The Weeknd at times but isn't. The lyrics aren't special. What the fuck?
Euphoria: Even before getting deeper into hiphop, I've always hated the way Drake presents himself. When Kendrick said: "I hate the way that you walk, talk, dress" I felt that. I hate the way he "raps", the way he drags his words, the way he laughs, the way he "sings". Just a whole lotta shit I dislike about the guy.
Sneak Dissing: If you want beef then get in line, don't just kinda allude to it, you weak ass bitch
SENSITIVE ASS BITCH: I love a man who's in tune with his feelings but Drake being the cosplaying gangsta clown he is, acts like he's all tough when in reality, you can't really say shit to him, cause he "can't let this shit slide, ay".
Kendrick's Control Verse drops - a verse calling out multiple rappers saying Kendrick will come for them in friendly competition for the crown of being the best. Drake was mentioned. Everyone thinks it's kinda cool and goes along. Drake is mad. In an interview he basically said he found it fake because the next time he saw Kendrick "it was all love" and that he wanted it "to be real. Let it be real then". Okay crodie, next time you get called out in a fair rap competition, best believe I'll sock you in your fucking throat, I gotchu.
The Weeknd doesn't sign to Drake's label OVO after working with Drake for a while. Drake is mad again and feels betrayed. Why you gotta be like this?
Kendrick says that he doesn't wanna collab with Drake because their music is too different, not because of anything personal. He just doesn't see it happen in the near future because it would not match artistically. Drake gets mad.
Drake stopped beefing with Pusha T back in the day. Probably because he exposed his son. But still, if you want beef, then clean up your plate, bc you eat what you order and dont't just start to "let this shit slide, ay"
("allegedly") being involved in XXXTentacion's passing back in 2018 over beef. This beef started because of the flow of X's popular song Look at Me!, which Drake stole shortly after letting X know his management would contact him about a possible collab. As you can imagine, X was never contacted by Drake's people. The kid was 20 years old, man. He said some outrageous shit at times, but no one deserves to go out like he did.
Also, the famous DMX ("Y'all gon make me lose my mind!") once said in an interview that he'd like to punch Drake in the face and I support that. Kendrick and his homies laughed at the clip - as did everybody else, cause it's hilarious if a beast and a legend of hiphop hates Drake. Drake was mad at Kendrick laughing about it and not taking it seriously. What did he expect? Should Kendrick have went after DMX and made him apologize for what he said about lil Aubrey? How old are you? 5?
Drake gets mad at a lot of shit - bottom line. I could go on and on, but I've been writing this for hours, it's half past 3 am and I wanna sleep after uni and work, y'all.
DURING THE DISS-ERTATION: this section is about shit Drake did during the beef with Kendrick.
Saying Kendrick's Like That verse was weak af. That's your core response? Someone flames you and people are already throwing ass to the mere sound of it and you think: "Huh, that sucked anyway." Pathetic.
Calling Kendrick short (over and over and over again) as if his height is under his control/ his fault? - as if that takes way from Kendrick's skill, Kendrick's allegations againt Drake! - as if that means ANYTHING AT ALL to people over the age of like... 12?
Going after anybody's family in the first place. I know nothing is really "off-limits" in a rap battle like this, but please have the fucking decency. Don't mention my Momma, my kids, my dog, my fam, my friends who ain't got nothing to do with the fact that I hate you. I will say I am not proud of Kendrick for getting down on that level himself - but I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy Meet The Grahams and the sheer panic it induced. And sometimes I gotta be a little childish and yell "But Aubrey started ittt!"
Hitting on Whitney in The Heart Part 6. Don't go for another man's treasure, you absolute dog. Accusing Whitney of being unfaithful. My friend, this beef is about us (the Culture) hating you and the things you do. Stop trying to shift this into something it is not.
Reacting to diss tracks via instagram stories and memes, like he's that one popular girl in 7th grade who's gotta clap back to something someone said in school on her IG. Shut up.
Calling The Weeknd and his manager gay. Are we not over homophobia yet? Being queer is not an insult. Also falsely "accusing" people of being gay is uncool as fuck - but oh "You don't know nun bout dat!" bc false accusations are basically everything you do - and also possibly outing someone like that is fucking hurtful as shit. I know the people involved are probably not queer at all, but if they were - period.
Using AI in a song at all. Drake, you already proved you suck. Don't force it down our throats. What part of you thought it would make you look good? What part said it would be good to do in a diss track, when the world knows diss tracks are even more a show of capability than other songs. Nah, you go and use AI. Idc about your "mind games": Using AI Snoop Dogg is just weird as fuck cause the Doggy is still well and alive - if you want him to feature on your song, call the legend and ask hi- oh wait, you knew he woulda said "Aww hell nah!" cause everyone hates you? Huh. Snoop probably woke up one day, hit a blunt and asked "When the FUCK did I collab with Drake?". Anyway, using AI 2Pac is straight up disrespectful, when you know damn well the guy would've hated you if he knew who you'd become. Just doing this because it's 2Pac, because you can and not even asking for permission of Pac's people is crazy. Glad the shit was taken down anyways.
The 8 Mile "Airing Out Your Dirty Laundry"-Trick before the big battle does NOT invalidate future claims on you diddling kids. No. Not even if 2Pac says it first. Nah.
His Damage Control Effort in post to make it seem like/make us believe that he's in control, when Kendrick has been bodying him is hilariously embarrassing. Anyone can claim the mole was fake "all along" after it happened.
Making fun of Kendrick for his verse on Taylor Swift's Bad Blood is just stupid. Look at all the features Drake does. Rihanna, BadBunny, DJ Khaled, Future, PartyNextDoor, Lil Wayne, Diddy, Nicki Minaj, Wizkid, ..... the list is so fucking long (I'm just picking at random songs at this point, cause I do not want my browser/spotify history to be associated with Drake's music. I don't wanna go out of my way to say he NEEDS these people to stay relevant but let's face it: His discography and his success would be different if it weren't for them
Acting like he's so great for "finally making Kendrick rap again" - Sir, you don't write your shit on your own, stfu. You don't invest time and effort into your vapid albums. YOU should be thankful for Kendrick destryoing you, giving us the best few lines out of you in a long time.
Not addressing important shit. We been over the allegations, I will not repeat them in this post cause this is already long enough. BUT y'all on the same page as me, aight? Instead of addressing EVERYTHING, he just responds with diss tracks that aren't terrible but really not THAT good, yk? Not going into the shit that we want to se addressed.
Acting like disstracks need replay value. Idk if this is a Drake or a fanbase problem, but people really act like Drake's tracks were better, bc you can listen to them more casually. "Kendrick basically made a whole song about Drake" - THIS IS WHAT A DISS TRACK SHOULD BE! Notice how we don't call every song containing a diss immediately a "diss track"? That's why. Diss tracks were meant to hit your opponent in the stomach with witty bars, double entendres, nice delivery and good production. Diss tracks weren't meant to be club bangers - bonus if they do end up being some though, looking at you, Like That and Not Like Us.
Not reading into stuff properly or just not listening. This is a small one, but ngl I hate the fact they got the Mother I Sober reference wrong (The song is NOT about Kendrick being abused, BUT about Kendrick not being abused and his Mom NOT believing him and passing her sa trauma onto him, even though he didn't experience that). Also Kendrick explicitly says "DOT, the money, power, respect / The last one is better" on Like That and Drakes response (again) is "Huh, I have way more money than you and in the industry, I'm way more powerful than you. Also, you so short tihhihi." BITCH he SAID respect was the most important of the three and you disrespect him, not by calling him out by his wrong doings but by picking on physical features the man cannot change like a 5th grade bully.
Anyways. phew. If you made it this far... wow. I'm impressed. I'll keep updating this. Thanks for coming to my beef talk.
EDIT: Thank y'all for the positive reactions on this post. If you seek more info/ want me to further explain stuff/ have even more dirt on Drake, let me know and we can work something out. -Frankie out
#reasons I BEEN hating Drake#drake diss#kendrick lamar#hiphop#culture#community#aubrey graham suxx#hate#rap#I'm beefin#(not yet) everything I hate about you#like that#the heart part 6#chicago freestyle#superman#hiiipower#shut up frankie#rant#Not like us#euphoria#push ups#drake
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With the first quarter of the 21st century coming to an end, Billboard has been looking back on the 25 Greatest Pop Stars of the Past 25 Years. Below, we take a deeper look into the solo career of Louis Tomlinson — one of the members of our No. 22 pop stars, One Direction — and how his songwriting, originally honed in 1D, has helped him develop into one of the group’s strongest breakout artists.
When One Direction officially went on hiatus in 2015, Zayn Malik dropped Mind of Mine in 2016, Harry Styles’ eponymous LP dropped in 2017, Niall Horan followed with Flicker later that year and Liam Payne’s First Time EP arrived in 2018. Louis Tomlinson, however, took his time with releasing a full project – and entered an era of healing and self-discovery that saw him realizing his potential as one of 1D’s most self-actualized artists, even if not necessarily the starriest.
Even before going solo, Tomlinson showed he was meant for breakthrough success while in One Direction. Longtime Directioners know that Tomlinson wrote more songs in One Direction than any other member, penning long standing hits including “Perfect,” “History” and “Fool’s Gold” and proving his fortitude as a songwriter who understands lyrical cleverness and crafting the indescribably catchy refrains necessary to produce arena-ready hits. Beyond his musical abilities, Tomlinson’s sense of humor and friendship with fellow 1D members also ensured fans had a soft spot for him.
However, when he did go solo, the road was slippery at first. He teamed up with Steve Aoki for his first solo release “Just Hold On” in December 2016, and just three days before its release, Tomlinson’s mother died of leukemia. He still took the stage to perform the song on The X Factor, the first public testament to the star’s strength and dedication to his musical craft.
Tomlinson’s resilience amid adversity continued as he navigated the music industry. The star signed with Epic Records in 2017 and released a few singles – including “Miss You” and the Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals-assisted “Back to You.” While the infectious hooks to both tracks could have easily solidified Tomlinson as a pop mainstay, the two singles didn’t perform as well as expected on the charts: “Just Hold On” peaked at No. 52 on the Billboard Hot 100 and “Back to You” hit No. 40, while “Miss You” missed the chart altogether. Ultimately, a full-length album never materialized with Epic Records.
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Tomlinson shortly got back on his feet, as he always does, and signed with Arista Records in 2019 – where he honed his talent as a songwriter, this time feeling comfortable enough to tackle more vulnerable topics in his music. His first release under the label was “Two of Us,” a heart-wrenching tribute to his late mother. “I know you’ll be looking down/ Swear I’m gonna make you proud/ I’ll be living one life for the two of us,” he sings in the chorus, giving a glimpse into what would soon become a musical career full of honesty and vulnerability.
Unfortunately, shortly after its release, another hardship struck Tomlinson’s life when his 18-year-old sister Fizzy died of an accidental overdose. Both the release of “Two of Us” and the tragedy that followed showed just how close Tomlinson’s community of fans is, as they showered him with online love and support in the months that followed.
After taking some much-deserved time to heal, he announced in August of that year that his debut solo album was on its way – and shortly after, he released a follow-up single, the rock-leaning, drumline-driven “Kill My Mind.” Tomlinson admitted that he finally found his stride. “I’m actually really proud and relieved to finally find my place, find my lane musically,” he told Hits Radio Breakfast at the time, indicating a moment of relief amid his turbulent few years.
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Tomlinson’s debut solo album, Walls, arrived in January 2020 and while it hit the Billboard 200‘s top 10, it was met with mixed reviews from critics, who suggested that the heart he wanted to portray wasn’t quite there. His growth outside of commercial success proved otherwise, as he had been spending the past few years building a solid identity not only as an artist, but also as a person. While some of the other One Direction alums are still finding their footing with their solo sounds to this day, Tomlinson grew strongly into an instrumentation-focused pop-rock artist whose lyrics go beyond the cookie cutter sentiments you might expect from a former boy band member.
And soon, all the hard work – both personally and musically – finally paid off. Faith in the Future, his 2022 sophomore solo album, debuted at No. 1 on the Official U.K. Albums Chart. In the United States, Faith In The Future debuted at No. 2 on Billboard’s Top Album Sales chart, and at No. 5 on the all-genre Billboard 200, his highest-charting set yet on both tallies. The album’s success, as well his sold-out live shows on its accompanying tour, not only showed the still-standing Directioner devotion to Tomlinson, but also made it clear that he picked up a slew of new fans along the way.
Tomlinson’s self-awareness was evident on the album’s lead single, “Bigger Than Me.” “When somebody told me I would change/ I was afraid, I don’t know why/ ‘Cause so does the world outside, I’ve realized/ It’s bigger than me,” he sings – indicating that the key for solo success all along was being himself, and letting go of the pressure that fame brings.
While Tomlinson has still yet to score the major chart hits stateside that his 1D bandmates essentially achieved right away – and has been more focused on his 28 clothing line the past couple years – he’s proven that he doesn’t need traditional pop crossover success to have a bright future ahead of him. With another couple albums and tours that continue to establish his identity and expand his artistry, it wouldn’t be shocking to see him making the jump to arenas in the not-distant future. Louis’ solo career may not have gotten off to the perfect start, but it just might end up being perfect for him in the long-term anyway.
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Masters of the Air Fanfic
As requested by sweet @arianatheangel-girl and the subsequent poll for a “Buck Cleven Fic before the series comes out” -and I, being a madwoman with no impulse control and a faint recollection of the book, have delivered…this…whatever this is
Song Challenge: i was challenged by dear @the-ugly-swan for a twenty favored songs challenge and I’m gonna go ahead and make this part of it. August by Taylor Swift informed some of the bittersweet timeline here, with infidelity not being the enemy but rather the lack of possessing oneself fully during wartime to give to another
Spoilers: historical accuracy and inaccuracy abound here so, beware there are some biographical facts about Cleven in here that might count as spoilers to those who wish to watch the series with a blank slate. While to the history purists I must beg for a substantial amount of artistic license to be granted me, and obviously I’ve not seen the show yet and I crunched the timeline to my own will
Reader insert but without the use of “y/n” -I’m utterly fudging a bit on the likelihood of a WAAF lady being part of the American ground crew, however, I had in my minds eye the vision of a greasy mechanic and a glamorous flyboy and it wouldn’t budge, so shhh, go with the vibe
Warnings: mature, 18+. Fluffy smut was requested and while it is very brief and mild in here, not very explicit in phrasing, it’s quite present and a plot point so beware. Also, Virgin!Gale has my heart so we went with that. No shade to dear Marjorie irl, I’ll probably end up writing fics about her once the show gives me Inspo. Some angst due to war, POW’s, etc, mild language
Word count: a monstrous 12k
They came in like locusts at the height of summer, long prayed for, oft cursed in moments of perilous isolation, those ever so intriguingly shiny Americans.
Swarming with a metal buzz over the flatlands of East Anglia, big hulking beasts touched down on fresh tarmacs with more grace than anything that size ought to have, flashing the most bizarre and suggestive paintings on their gleaming fuselages. Flying Fortresses, they were called, and deserved the name. Nothing but the biggest, the loudest, the most alarming machinery would do for the American war effort, and now all this mighty strength was Britain’s too, no longer alone, no longer enduring.
Now the fight could be taken to the enemy in earnest. Out of their flying ships poured the most alarmingly young looking faces, jaunty hats and leather jackets, they looked every bit the sort of fellows war was advertised to.
Farmers in their tractors, mothers with daughters still under their command and RAF veterans all looked askance at such pristine warriors. Had their fertile fields been paved into airfields just for this? Were these gum chewing boys the long expected aid? It wasn’t anti-climactic, nothing American could ever be, it was all just alarmingly fresh. It was understandable then, the initial tentativeness the locals felt towards their new occupants, the way the boys took up such space in the rural villages, made such a racket in the pubs, chased every skirt that swished in the rainy summer breeze, stuck hands out for a shake no matter the introduction. They were a warm, boisterous and confident lot, all much needed attributes in wartime Britain, and soon, the initial distrust of the citizenry thawed, hands were shaken in return and invitations made. An amiable amalgamation eventually occurred, Norfolk never to recover or return to whatever placidity had been her’s before the arrival of the 100th.
Personally, you couldn’t wait to get your hands on them. The planes, that is.
Amalgamation was less a choice for yourself and your service members than a duty. It was abnormal, having a mixed ground crew, British and American servicemen too often clashing in hierarchy disputes for it to be standard, but with deployment rates so high and casualties mounting, ground crew became a case of whichever skilled individuals could be called upon to keep the operation running, the pilots up and the enemy bombed.
You were just glad to be near home, first time back since ‘39 when you’d signed up in the Women's Auxiliary Air Force -even if your rural hometown was now overrun with Americans. They weren’t a bad lot at all, at least not the ones you’d encountered so far on base. Amiable and unexpectedly eager, undeterred by veterans’ grim looks and tales of the woodchipper across the channel, that line of anti-aircraft that shredded anything trying to penetrate the continent.
“Better get crackin’ then.” Was the common response followed by a grin.
Your crew chief sergeant, Ken Lemmons, an American with a forelock of sandy ringlets and the patience of a saint, made the job easier even as every ounce of expertise was exacted from each man -or woman- under him. Feeding a fiery chain of bullets into the turret gun under a hot July sun, you thought your papa may have had the right of it when he tried to dissuade you from choosing the harsher duties of the Auxiliary Force. You could’ve been pouring over a map in the cool of the boardroom right now, or passing on radio messages, even shuttling planes would’ve been more relaxing, but no, you’d spent your life passing him tools in his garage, your papa had been building flying machines when most for these boys were still in diapers, and that path called to you, too. So for you it was grueling maintenance work and the ever present grime of grease on your hands and the awkward reach of twisted metal repairs. Gratefully, after their first mission, there were plenty of them back safe, however riddled their fortresses might’ve been.
It was interesting, the way certain of the flight crew treated the ships. Some were endeared but indifferent to their repairs while others hovered at each hole and tear, like over protective mothers, while you and your mates tried to do your jobs.
Why, one plane in the five assigned to your care was even named “Our Baby”. With such a moniker it made sense that its porcelain faced pilot would caress the shredded wing with a misty eyed frown at each wound, like it were a breathing thing, a race horse, a friend. You didn’t judge it, and he didn’t seem aware of his audience, he’d be back out there doing his own check up after debriefing. Never interrupting your work, always quick to step aside or duck out of the way of a ground crewman’s path, it wasn’t time to chatter or make introductions, although sometimes when the work took long and his reports longer, he’d be there to bid goodnight to you all, soft, American drawl saying “Goodnight, thank ya, goodnight, good work, thank ya” again and again to each.
You grew to recognize them, the ones each mission spared, there were so many and under hats and bundled in leather jackets they tended to blend together, but there were those who made their mark, if not on you then on Dorace in cartography and Eileen at the Red Cross. There was much tittering and speculation, after all, spread thin as their time was, there was also plenty of off time, made all the more charged and anxious as it came in the form of waiting for new orders. The men would be vibrating with nervous energy and generous in the flush of a recent victory and they took it out on the little villagers who in good British fashion took it on the chin and challenged them to a contest of good spirits.
Those were happy days, less anxious than the preceding ones and less heavy than those making up the year after. You dared be roped into the multiple pub crawls, often choosing the most sensible and quiet of the group as your victim and attaching yourself to their side for the evening. This tactic had its fallibility, sometimes those moderates were such a bore as to be unsupportable or hadn’t enough verve to make a full night of it and retired early like respectable, curfew-abiding saps. That’s how you found yourself one night ensconced in a beer pungent corner of Flaggen’s, green leather seats sticky under your palms, with Major Egan fanning out a wad of cash in front of you. It was a blatant attempt to bribe you to clear his aircraft sooner than the last inspection suggested.
“Suggestions” was Egan’s term for regulations.
If you were less tipsy you wouldn’t have giggled at the man’s idiocy, but his arm was heavy around your shoulders and this very cash had bought you one too many gin and tonics. “These regulations keep you alive!” You chided him, shaking your head and feeling the room tip as you did. Truly these Americans could hold their liquor, almost as well as the Polish Squadron when it came to a binge.
“A little flack isn’t gonna keep her down.” he scoffed, “I’ve been grounded for a week now-“
“-I don’t have the authority-“
“-and I’m not gonna sit here while Buck goes up and racks up his number!” Eagen was vehemently slurring and your drunken mind tried to process who Buck was, if not Egan himself.
“Aren’t you Bucky?” you asked, bewildered.
-Americans and their nicknames.
“Yeah.”
“So who’s Buck?” you concentrated very hard on the ancient coaster beneath your latest pint.
“It’s Buck! It’s Gale, Cleven, Major Gale Cleven!” Egan waxed louder and more dramatic with each addition. “You keep clearing his plane! But not mine! Why’s that, huh?”
“How do you know that?” you asked, dubious and only in the raucous of this little pub would his loud voice go unheeded. Compared to the ongoing dart game to the left behind the half wall, an elephant’s trumpeting would be considered bashful.
“ ‘Cause he tells me?” he replied, bewildered at your slowness, “Says you and your crew are little fairies, crawlin’ all over his plane and patching it up better than ever after each mission. And then you clear him. Simple as that.”
“I don’t have authority to clear anyone.” you repeated.
“Huh,” Egan grunted, “how’does he mean then?”
“I don’t know.” you replied firmly, “I doubt I’ve even got your plane, i don’t see you around.”
“I don’t stay around, that’s your job, patching up. I just fly the damn thing.”
“Oh, well.” you shrugged, “I’ve had five, it’s down to three after last mission.” Three years ago the mention of that ratio of losses would’ve sank your mood to the floorboards, by now it’s horrifically routine. “What’s yours called?”
“Mugwump.” he grinned proudly, a flash of white beneath his dark mustache, the man’s face positively shimmered with sweat.
“Serial?” you asked demurely, just to be difficult.
He squinted his eyes shut briefly, head tilted back as if to ask the heavens for help and the recited in a drill master’s staccato “42-30066, ma’am, yes ma’am.”
You giggled again and Egan’s arm jostled your shoulders, smushing you further into him. They were good fun, these boys, didn’t even mind your horrifyingly unflattering uniform with its bulging pockets adding bulk where your curves should take center stage and your stupid pleated cap making you look to be half baker, half doll. You preferred your plain navy coveralls but you’d hardly be let into an establishment in them. Egan’s warm arm didn’t seem to mind the excess poof of the material, he smashed it right down with his hand’s firm grip, he was fun, you decided, no harm in good fun. “Alas, not one of mine.” you sighed, focusing hard on the serial number.
“Damn.” he swore, playing at dejection.
“No,” you went on, “but I’ve got this one, a very spoiled one, maybe you know whose it is. They named it ‘Our Baby’!”
Poor manners and personnel etiquette though it was, you couldn’t say it without tittering.
Egan didn’t laugh, he just looked at you like you’d proved his point. “Yeah,” he replied vehemently, “That’s Buck Cleven’s!”
“Oooh.” -So it was him, the fighting cherub, the walking doughboy, toothpick, baby at wings: there were a dozen or more nicknames you and the ground crew gave the wing-petting Major behind his back. “He always says goodnight to us.” you said instead.
“Is that where he is when I wanna go for a drink?” Egan exclaimed, “Ha! You’d think he was married to the ole ship.”
“He handles her beautifully.” You feel oddly compelled to defend, he’s a master at flight and as someone who must repair each fault of his landings and his leavings and his missions, you feel some loyalty to his finesse. “He handles her so well.” you repeat in the tone of a woman who’s seen some aviation in her time, young though you may be.
“Well let me let you into a lil secret,” Egan smirks and you brace without knowing why, he is, after all, not the respectable and dull men you choose to go out with, he is the dangerous sort you bring those dullards along to deter, “shes the only ‘she’ that boy has ever ‘handled’ -if ya get my drift.”
The sleazy wag of his eyebrows leaves no room for ignorance, you feel your face heat up, wether in prudery for the topic or second hand embarrassment for his friend’s sake, you don’t know.
“Nothing wrong with that.” you reply coldy, only to distance yourself from the road his body language seemed to be hurtling you both down.
“Quite right. Nothin’ at all!” Egan agrees vehemently, his smile easy and his eyes clever “But I’d be a poor friend if I didn't try to remedy his predicament.”
“Telling me is somehow part of this remedy?” you were suspicious, rightfully so.
“Maybe.” Egan drawls it out, shifting in his seat to no longer corner you, his attention drawn to the nearby dart game. The man of the moment, the subject, the handler of planes and none else, was not here. He had such a luminous head of golden hair, it would be a beacon amongst the muddy haired crowd flinging darts. “The thing of it is, dear,” Egan confided, “I've had an absolutely marvelous time since I got here. And I think that’s rather essential, for sanity and for international relations, don’t you? I’ve gotten to know all sorts of wonderful people, lovely people like yourself-“
“-word is, you’ve known them a little too biblically, no wonder Cleven avoids your outings.” You could not help but temper him. “Half of Great Britain has had the privilege, if some are to be believed.”
“And so what if I have? I love dancin’!” he laughed quite happily at your barb and you didn’t have it in you to pull down any further a man who was sacrificing so much day in and out. “Getting to know Great Britain is a better occupation than pettin’ plane wings under the moonlight.”
You tittered again at his words and the oddly endearing memories you had of watching Major Ceven petting and whispering to his plane like she was his long-standing beloved, loitering ground crew unheeded. “He does do that.” you agreed.
“Hey, everyone’s got their method.” Egan insisted in his friend’s defense, “But I have told him, it’s good for the morale to mingle, even if he hates drinkin’.“
You pucker your face at that. “I know he mingles, Violet says he’s a doll when he goes to market.” you point out, small town chatter gets around and while you can’t say you know Cleven, you know he’s mild mannered and precious. And a terribly pretty face too, which isn’t fair, he oughta be an ass which a face that cute. “And he got a tan from somewhere last week.“
“Oh, so ya noticed!” Egan is triumphant, “A bunch of us used our day passes to go messin’ around in boats on the canals.”
“Good for you.” you didn’t know what else to say. “Why are we talking about him? What’s your point? I can ask for your plane to be transferred to my crew, but it won’t get you a sloppy clearance. And if your friend is so socially awkward he can’t even manage a pub night, you can hardly expect me to be flattered that you consider me prime material to throw at him.”
“He’s not awkward.” Egan cut to the chase quite serious, in mission mode, “Buck just had his hopes tangled up back home, and now he’s here he’s finding it hard to accept that hopes were all they were. She’s real moved on.” Well that had hurt, you winced in sympathy. “I warned him, everything during this war has got to be taken as a bit inpermanent. Don’t fall in love with Texas girls when you’re headed to England -via: Louisiana, Indiana, hell, by New York she’d stopped writing.”
“And now the texas girl has-“
“-found a Texan, I guess.” He shrugged and chugged the last of his pint. “She’s gettin’ married, it's really over. So, -“ he made a broad gesture as if to explain his reasoning for this entire segue. “-you like projects, you wouldn’t be in the line of work you’re in if ya didn’t, so whaddya say?”
You looked around the dimly lit pub in search of two things, sunny blonde hair and a clock to tell you how badly you were going to regret this night, come morning. “He’s not even here.” you balked.
“Well, no-“
“-what I say is,” you grinned at him disbelieving, “you owe me another gin and tonic for subjecting me to such inane chatter.”
His grin should have served as warning enough that he would neither drop the subject nor let you off free this evening. In fact, the ticking clock and its late curfew breaking hours became the least of your concerns come morning. The cool wash of bitter juniper blended into the pungent flow of beer, it blurred everything, soon there was a great swelling of pride for your native village, a pub crawl was on, all three visited and drank from, an army Jeep was requisitioned without authority, there was some incident regarding a policeman‘s helmet. The latter being the reason why you found yourself in “jail” the next morning, nursing a raging headache and questioning life decisions while glaring at John Egan’s polished boots.
There was very little talk about bail or Air Force hours being exceptioned, the more pressing concern to the Bobbies who had nabbed you was the coed holding cell. Thorpe Abbotts was a small place, after all, and you liked it that way. If this overly indulgent night could be kept away from the military police, all would be well.
You had one hope: Harry Crosby was sensibly absent from the holding cell, having a keen sense of when to depart from the raucous joyride at the precise moment to save himself a demerit. It was an extreme embarrassment to you that you’d not had the same sense. In fact, fond as you were of a bit of a knees up, you couldn’t quite credit the fact you had allowed yourself such free reign, or accomplished such foolishness. Glowering at Major Egan’s face now, animated with delighted chagrin at your shared plight as it was, you vowed to never again hook your fortunes to his, as it were.
Your resolve, and humiliation, was about to be compounded, exponentially.
There was a bustle of a visitor entering the precinct, easily heard in the small space, followed by the low hum of mild mannered conversation. It went on for sometime, and no amount of straining at the bars and cocking of ears would allow you, Egan or your fellow misfortunates to ascertain the gist of it. Violet’s husband was the main constable, and you were quite certain he’d be moderate in his sentence, he had his helmet back, after all. It was the Air Force penalty of not being on base in time this morning that you feared, a growing nausea that compounded the misery of your aching head. They’d not discharge Egan, they’d probably not even demote him, he was too crucial and he’d done this one too many times for it to be grace alone saving him. When he was needed, really needed, he was there. That’s what counted. The same could be said of you, but that hardly mattered given your low rank.
Violet’s husband, also known as constable Herbert, came in sight and with a jangle of keys and a tap to the side of his nose, swung open the bars of infamy and gestured for you and your fellow inmates to file out.
“All sorted.” He declared. His gaze lingered on you as it had many times in your life when you’d been caught jumping in puddles after church, “Let this be a lesson and a warning to you.”
You tried your best at both obeisance and penitence, both of which were rather natural feelings at the present time, while hurrying past as fast as was respectful, your approaching shift hours making your heart thump in panic.
On the steps outside, your savior was loitering against the wrought iron fence, thumbing at the petunias in the nearby window box. Gale Cleven was a mile long of lanky body in perfectly pressed and tailored Air Force greens, fresh faced as the good conscienced are, hair combed without his cap and a smile on his soft face that was composedly long suffering, rather than endeared, as he watched you miscreants pour out of the modest brick building.
You stumbled to a halt on the first step at the sight of him and allowed your instincts to take over, hands smoothing down hair and skirt with frantic self consciousness. You must’ve looked a rumple.
“I hope last night was worth it.” Cleven drawled in that voice of his, so oddly deep for so fresh a face, his placid smile growing into something more genuinely mirthful as Egan smooched at him in gratitude and swore that he knew his Buck wouldn’t abandon them, that his Buck would pull through for them. “I order a round of toothpaste for everyone and cold showers, you stink.” Gale shied away without any real effort, nodding in greeting to the boys he recognized.
Then, as if in the most painfully slow motion with all the strong string accompaniment of a silver screen scene, his eyes landed on you and an odd ache formed in your chest at the anticipation of his disapproval.
It made you tense and draw yourself up to your full height, looking about as regal as a drenched bantam in your disheveled dignity, but you weren’t about to be relegated to another tier than these boys he so amusedly indulged.
“Y’all know what time it is?” he asked mildy, those azure orbs with their batting dark fringe didn’t waver and you realized he indeed had more guts than you’d given him credit for.
There was a chorus of “no”s and various guesses based on the fast evaporating fog and the lightening sky.
“Zero five thirty.” he ended the suspense with the cock of an eyebrow at you.
“Shit!” Egan was suddenly animated, “Shit, shit-“
“Hey, you keep your swearin’ away from my sweet lil corporal.” Cleven chided, and it took you a brief moment to startle upon realizing he meant you. And he thought you sweet? “C’mon Miss,” he waved you down the steps and for some inexplicable reason you felt very compelled to obey and suddenly stood beneath his gaze like a dutiful child awaiting deliverance or censure, “I’ve only got this bike, petrol allotment ran out when we went to the canals last week. But it’ll get ya back faster than this lot. Reckon you can manage on the handlebar?”
“Wha-?“ you glanced sideways at the bike with its large, sweeping handlebars and second guessed his meaning until he himself was straddling it. His legs required the seat to be hiked up impossibly high and the narrow nip of his waist was accentuated by the posture. Those padded, fleece puffed jackets you had seen him in had done no credit to his form, a toothpick he may have been with how terribly lean he was, but he was firm in all the right places. He was also waiting on you to answer while you ogled him.
“Gosh yes, I can, if you’re sure? Awfully kind of you.” you blathered and moved in a hurry to make up for your stalling, keenly conscious of his eyes on your back as you shimmied your backside up onto his handlebars, feeling the warm press of his hand as he helped steady you from tipping all the way back. You wiggled on the thin metal bar, spreading your legs on either side of the front wheel and doing your best to ignore the raucous commentary of the still tipsy audience of your fellow inmates swaying on the precinct steps. “Y’all just be glad there’s no mission scheduled today.” he snarked to them instead and they chimed up that last night’s idiocy was calculated with that in mind.
“Huh.” Cleven uttered, unimpressed, behind you and it made you shiver, worse than if your father caught wind of this stunt. “Darlin’ put your hands over mine, s’gonna get wobbly takin’ off.” he directed next and you did as you were told, looking back over your shoulder at him with a grateful smile that you were relieved to see returned, pink lips stretching and a freckled nose bunching up sweetly when all of the sudden a rush caught you by surprise and the bike was in motion and you whipped your head back to view the street as it rushed up ahead of you. “See ya boys!” he hollered out as a mutinous babble rose from his friends at being left to jog back.
The young man could put some speed on a bike, uphill too. Or, as much of a hill as could be found this far East. You could hear him chuckle when you squeaked at the first jolt of a pothole, your thumbs hooking under his hands and curling into his palms. They were warm and calloused, dry from the cool breeze and you may have imagined the way he squeezed them in assaurance but you did not imagine the way his voice piped up again, smooth and conversational: “Harry told me if I was quick I could get you out in time, I think we’re gonna make it. S’dont worry, even if Sergeant Lemmons gives ya trouble, I’ll insist.”
“That’s really too kind of you.” The chill of windburn and a substantial amount of remorse made your cheeks glow scarlet. “All of it is. I’m rather ashamed.”
“I didn’t take you for an all nighter sort.” he agreed but followed it with a soothing compliment, “You’ve always been nothin’ but perfect. P-p-perfectly punctual, I mean, and there’s no reason to let Egan’s idea of fun ruin your record.”
“Wasn’t his fault. Not wholly.” you sighed, giving Violet a bashful wave as you passed her opening the shop, a wave which Cleven mirrored behind you and between the two of you letting go the bike, it nearly dumped you both. It was luck and sheer persistence that righted you and kept your balance. “I’m afraid it’s a bit of a bad habit, picked it up at Northolt.”
“Where’s that?” he asked.
“South, by the coast.” you said, unsure why you felt the need to explain your debauchery away, “I was working a ground crew down there for a bunch of Polish Pilots. Spitfires mainly. That squadron nabbed the most kills of any in the RAF back in ‘40. Why, even Churchill visited more times than I can count, he found them good fun. Too much fun, they never went to bed without downing half a barrel. There was dice built into the bottom of the pints at the Black Bull, rather addictive, rolling to see who would buy the next round. —There was always a next.” You added upon reflection.
That was also the year you had lost your brother. The correlation between the habit and the loss wasn’t to be dwelt on.
“Huh,” Cleven let out one of him contemplative hums, “and how do we compare?” he asked surprisingly.
“How?” you laughed, daring to crane your neck back to see him in the early morning sunshine, pretty and sweet and arch in his expression. Dusk had not done his mama’s work on his face any justice, it made you want to pant he was so pretty.
“I dunno, in any way,” he laughed in turn, not even breathless as he sped the bike over the cobblestones, the village barely awake and mostly quiet, “how do we compare?”
“To the Poles?”
“Or the French. Or your own, the RAF ain’t no joke.” he amended, “Whoever is our competition.”
“So it is a competition.” you smirked -how very American of him. “Depends,” you hedged playfully, “Our boys are so very nice, familiar, they never run out the right coinage during a date either. But the French are better flirts while the Dutch are better dancers. But the Poles, they know how to romance. Lots of hand kissing and flowers, so many flowers there had to be rules made for overstocking the billet.”
“Sounds like we gotta step up our game.” he decided.
“Is that what you meant? How you compare? First impressions?”
“I-I- guess, yeah.” he now sounded confused, “I mean, what else? You got scores for aircraft?”
“I do.” you replied, as it was true, “But that’s unfair, you’ve only just arrived. I thought maybe you wanted to know something more -salacious.”
“Like?” His tone behind you was guarded and you doubted if the alcohol of last night were not still buzzing and fortifying your brazenness, that you’d ever go through with what you said next.
“Other performances. For instance, in bed.”
You felt his fingers flutter around the bars beneath your own, you gripped them tighter, not just because the stretch of old road before the air base was ancient and pitted but because you were in an agony of suspense as to how he’d take your forwardness.
“There’s a record of that somewhere?” he asked at last, a beat too long, too delayed for casualness, too morose for flippancy.
“In fact there is.” you responded carefully. “A little diary of rankings, actually, there’s multiple and whenever there’s a grand assembly of the WAAF or the WACs, they’re passed about and tallied.”
“Sweet Jesus.” he swore behind you, “And here I’ve been chalkin’ up railways and munition dump targets like they’re some achievement.”
“Oh it’s all a bit of silliness.” You assured, not intending to make him glum.
“Do-“ he hesitated and you prayed for strength for him to spit it out as the airfield came in sight on the flat plain ahead. He didn’t.
“-Do I what?” you prodded softly.
“Are one of these little tallies yours?” he asked miserably.
You grinned to yourself and felt the sunshine seemed brighter and the air crisper than ever before as it rushed in your face with the slowing speed of his bike. “No, not in the least. I merely keep track of Sally’s ledger. It’s all a bit too -messy, for me.”
You dared peak behind you again and he looked relieved, then blushed furiously at your observance of him. “Well, who does Sally say is winning?” he dared.
“Romania.” you chortled and he did too, in shock if nothing else. “But Egan’s caught wind of it, he’s quite determined to save your country’s dominance, you don’t need to sweat it.”
His frown was back and you had to focus on not falling off as he slowed the bike to a halt, momentum precarious as his long legs kicked out and walked it the last yard to the segregated barracks, you felt his hand again on your waist to steady you. “Does that bother you?” he asked earnestly, sorrow in his blue eyes.
He offered a hand for you as you hopped down and it was you who held onto it long after it was needed. “Bother me?”
“Yeah, him -consortin’…with Sally?” he pressed, hands quite engulfing your one, “Does it hurt you? Bucky, see, he doesn’t mean to hurt, he’s just so-“
“-Blimey, you are a dear.” you marveled and then amended your interruption as your amusement only further creased that sweet face, “If I am ever again in Major Egan’s company, it will only be to escape it just as quickly. I’ve had quite enough of…consorting.”
“That so?” The lackadaisical confidence he exhibited outside of the precinct was back again, a not unattractive smirk plastered on his vulnerable face, a scheme in his guileless eyes. “Had enough of holding cells?”
“Quite.” you smirked back. “A quiet family dinner is more my style, the occasional picnic, even a zip round Oxford as one must show the foreigners about.” you paused and squeezed his hand once more, “And I do enjoy a bike ride.”
You did not know if he cataloged your preferences for an ideal date or not, life was busy, after all, and the momentary frolics in the July sunshine and banter on the tarmac and evenings in the pub were the exception. Time went on. Most of life was spent in the air, in his case, and in yours, beneath the belly of his beast, wrench in hand. But ever after his gallant rescue of you, there was more than the passing “goodnight” paid to you, there were cheerful smiles on his exhausted face when he returned from a mission, as if you were the one face he was coming back to. With an old familiar dread you noticed the way you begin to take each hole and dent and damage to his plane personally, as if it had been exacted on something precious to you. You have begun to care, for him and for his men, and your tired heart could barely do more than dread what that might lead to.
Good fun. That’s what these boys were supposed to be.
Gale Cleven hadn’t proven much fun. And somehow that was worse. It was worse and also unbearably honoring to be the last face he saw before taking it off, flags in your hands waving in front of his hulking bomber, giving the old familiar directions for a perfect takeoff, one he executed sublimely time and again. His sober, purposeful nods to you before he engaged and taxied out for a mission of death was more intense and intimate than any bouquet or even, your thought, a kiss. It was true the donut dollies on the sidelines were often the last faces of home that many of those boys would see. But in the his cockpit, looking down at your shrimp sized figure on the tarmac, both Major Cleven and you knew that for him, it was yours.
Once, there was a scare, in the first days of august. More than a scare if you were being honest, your heartbeat about stopped and didn’t pick back up for a few hours until word came in. The rest of the base wasn’t much better.
Ten planes had not come back. -Among them, Our Baby. And Mugwump. For two officers, so crucial, so senior, idolized and beloved as they were, to not return, was a blow like none other. You weren’t alone in hovering around the control shack, taking license of your friendship with Dorace to get a play by play of any news. When news came, such as it was, it was both relieving and exasperating.
It would seem there was some problem, a defect or too great of a hit. Orders to land in enemy territory were ignored, however, by Cleven no less. He had doggedly pushed on, safely landing them in allied Africa, of all places. It took almost a day for this information to finally be pasted together, by the end of it you were sad, haggard and half useless in your coveralls, stupendously relieved for a man you were supposed to feel professionally about.
Instead, that night, tucked in your own bed after a meal with your parents and little brother, you thanked God for keeping him -them, all of them- safe. And found yourself pondering the tan on him when he got back from his African foray. Some jealous part of you feared he might be kept there but a week later the thunderous hum of approaching bombers buzzed the air overhead of Thorpe Abbotts and the satisfying thwump of wheels touching down brought them back. There was a frenzy of greetings, flight and ground crew eager to welcome them back, the radio operators, too, and even the civilians who’d managed to get on base.
Your little brother among them. Donald wanted to see them back safe and it wasn’t dangerous, and it wasn’t dire, not returning from a mission the planes wouldn’t be in such poor shape. They’d been repaired in Africa, enough to fly them all the way back to England. So little Donald was nearby and when the crowd parted and a bee-line for Cleven became apparent, he took advantage and gave the young man a firm handshake in greeting.
“Hey buddy, thank ya, who do you belong to?” Buck laughed while returning the firm grip.
“I’m her brother.” Donald pointed you out proudly among the dispersing crowd and you rolled your eyes at his expectancy for Gale to know or care about you, more than your most pertinent work on base.
“Oh are ya now, hers, huh?” he grinned at you, “Been talkin’ about me?” he greeted, there was a still healing scrape on his left temple that your fingers itched to soothe. How badly had he hit his head?
“Of course I have.” you defended, happiness bubbling under your lips and threatening to make you smile more than was professional, you could see Sergeant Lemmons observing you from the side and tried to keep some decorum. “We thought you’d died.” You stated plainly, it wasn’t any secret to Donald, as soon as the plane had gone missing and before radio contact had been reestablished, you’d rushed home and made the family pray over supper.
“We’ve been praying for you.” Donald agreed, and you saw Cleven startle, a gasped intake of breath between those lush lips and his eyes seemed to water as he searched first your brother’s face and then your own.
“You have?” he choked out, raspy and touched.
“Yes.” you whispered, mouth twisting in a ugly grimace to hold back your own emotion. It was of little use, something beyond War Effort investment in his well being had been admitted. “We thought you might be dea-“
-you didn’t finish your reiteration of your dread. Your face, a greasy and mist spattered face, was suddenly smushed into the padded leather of his bomber jacket, nose tucked right into the fleece apex where his pale blue scarf always rested on his throat.
He was hugging you, you realized with delayed surprise.
“-even though it made the potatoes cold, Da insisted on prayin’ every night after she told us-“ Donald was waxing eloquent on his own sacrifices of having one added prayer request lengthening his mealtime but you were oblivious to more than the firm press of Cleven’s still gloved hand to the back of your scarf wrapped head, some strong emotion shuddering through his body against your own. A tremor of terror and pain, you suspected, emotions he’d been suppressing all week.
After all, the saved weren’t supposed to be shaken up. They’d been saved, what was there to be off about? You’d seen enough pilots after a close call to know it was every bit as bad or worse than actual disaster. They’d send him right back up again in days, and that was what was expected, demanded, required. He was tremoring against you and you gripped him tighter, sympathetic and aching to cure it somehow. Even for a moment.
“We’ll keep praying.” you assured, and you heard him clear his throat, snotty and rough. “Oh, blast, I’ve positively greased your jacket.” you mourned as he let you go, finally, and you caught sight of the mess your filthy hands and face had imprinted on it during the embrace.
He chuckled as he looked down at the imprint, “S’fine.”
After such an exchange of emotion the air felt charged between you two, without privacy or precedence, it felt unthinkable to linger in that mood. You turned to his plane and pet the fuselage with unstudied fondness, it had been horrid having the old bird absent. You were not above having favorites and the love he poured into his ship, somehow, like some old fairytale truism, made the hulking metal beast lovable, in turn. “How’s our baby, hmm?” you asked him, giving him a sly smile and he took your proffered out seamlessly, joining you in cataloging the damage that had not been deemed severe enough to hamper his return.
“Don’t crawl under here, sir!” you protested as you wiggled under the belly only to find him beside you in the plane’s shadow, “You’ll be a mess!”
“I’ve already got stains.” he brushed your worries off, and you knew it was true. Bloodstains in fact. He had lost a man, the report said, and apparently, judging by his trousers, Buck had held the poor fellow as he bled out. “And I wanna show you the spot I’m worried ‘bout.”
“Alright.” you conceded, allowing him to direct you to the nose. “Watch it Donald!” you had to reprimand your little brother who predictably followed after, “You’ll burn yourself if you touch that, this thing was just running.”
“Careful buddy.” Gale echoed gently beside you and pushed his little head down, more into a crawl. You refused to allow the gentle way he treated the brat to warm you, you refused. Or at least, you refused to let it show, the tingle and heat you felt being all too consuming to be denied.
He was lovely. But you already knew that. He was even more lovely when, upon crawling out from under Our Baby, he took his scarf from around his neck, silk decadently soft, flesh warmed and smelling strongly of his exertions, and swiped it across your greased cheek.
“You’ve got just a lil more…” he practically mumbled and wiped down to your chin, firm, gentle little rubs of the silk which required his other hand to grasp your chin to steady you. You weren’t sure when he’d taken off his gloves, but the feel of his skin on yours was heady.
“It’ll take a couple days.” You predicted regarding the repairs, “Which means you’ll have a few days free, if they don’t drown you in reports.”
“Oh they will.” he laughed, “But s’long as my days are free, means yours aren’t.” he pointed out.
“I guess that’s true.”
“We shoulda thought of that when we chose this line of work.” he joked and your cheeks flamed at the realization he wished to spend time with you. “But you’ll have your nights still, yeah?”
Coming from anyone else, the request for your nights to be reserved would strike you as suggestive indeed. But this was Buck, and when he mentioned nights you imagined nothing but taking him home for a tepid potato and rationed powdered milk supper and the warm reception of your family. His weary eyes suggested how badly he needed that. You could give it to him, and it made your heart glow.
“Yes, I’ll have my nights.” you agreed, “And you can have them, too.”
Sergeant Lemmons agreed with your estimation of Our Baby’s damage the following day and four long days after were spent patching up damage that suggested what a hellish ride that must’ve been. Someone else hosed the blood out of the bay but it turned the puddle on the concrete beside you sickly pink.
To and fro from office to barracks to observation tower, Cleven would stop by to see his ‘baby’ on these occasions. The heckling the ground crew gave you regarding this potential double meaning was agonizing and almost made his attentions not worth it. But then he’d be dropping to a squat to chat with you as you soldered metal, heedless of the sparks, or else bringing scones from the mess to refresh you and, again, wiping your face often with his fancy scarves despite your protests that it was futile.
And at night, on the second day, you made good on yours and Donald’s word and brought him to dinner. It was a quiet walk from the base to the end of the long main road, right to the outskirts of the village, where your family’s unassuming little thatched cottage nestled amongst mama’s victory garden, daddy’s aeroplane hanger and repair shop loomed ugly and dark behind.
The look on Buck’s face when you met him outside the base’s gate at seven in the evening in a dress and heels was worth capturing. But you hadn’t a camera with you and it wasn’t like you were liable to forget. His pure look of awe and appreciation for your cleaned up and girlish state was nearly comic if it weren’t so flattering.
“Darlin-“ he began in a rush but did not finish, only taking you lightly by the fingertips and spinning you slowly, his eyes wide like he was seeing a marvel, which, maybe he was, -your womanly form finally liberated from puffy uniforms and ugly coveralls. Wholesome as your intentions were for the evening, and indeed for him in general, it was some relief and delight to know he was capable of getting hot under the collar. His mama’s well drilled manners soon caught up to his unbridled appreciation and a deluge of charmingly proper compliments rained down on you next until you had to put a stop to his babble by tugging him down the road with the reminder of dinner as incentive.
“You’re sure they won’t mind?” he began his worries again, nervous to meet your parents.
If he’d been like the rest of the boys he’d know just how much mingling was already common. It wasn’t remotely odd to bring him home, not when you lived so near. “Don’t be silly, they’ve been begging to meet you and Donald has plans of torturing you with his plane models and Papa wants to show you his shop and mama thinks you're much too skinny, I’m sure she’s gone to the black market to grab something to fatten you-“
“-how’s she know that?” he interrupted in shock.
“Oh,” you flushed, realizing your misstep, “I’ve talked of you. And she recognized you, she and Violet are thick as thieves and -it’s not like you’re unremarkable. A physical description is rather easy to give when you, well, when you look like…you.”
“What do I look like?” he cried out but his cheeks were smiling despite his outrage, “Malnourished?”
“Like a lanky cherub.” you refuted and were pleased that the late summer sun was still bright enough at this long hour to show his pretty blush.
“A cherub.” he repeated in disbelief.
“Yes.” you were firm, both in tone and the press of your hand in the crook of his offered elbow, “And as we’ve been commended to entertain angels unaware, how much more when we are certain of one?”
“Oh shut up.” he begged you and you two staggered into each other as you laughed your hearts out. It felt good to laugh, for the both of you, and a little too foreign, as well. It left a hollow melancholy in its wake that was soothed by the near and swaying proximity of each other’s body.
“They’ll be glad to have you at the table.” you dared go on, feeling you should prepare him, should the subject arise, “I’ve a brother, you see, an older brother. Rafe, he was stationed in Burma. We’ve not heard of him in over two years. There’s an empty seat at our table, it takes a certain sort of soul to fill it without it feeling like a sacrilege. But you fit the bill nicely, I think.”
“Burma.” he repeated with all the gravity of a man who understood, who knew the ache of almost hoping a dear brother, a beloved son, was dead rather than enduring the slow hell of a Japanese internment camp. How awful to almost wish for a decisive end for one so loved. “No word at all?”
“None.”
“I’m terribly sorry.”
“Thank you.” you whispered, “And thanks for making it back, yourself.” you squeezed his arm jovially and felt his other hand fall atop yours there in the crook of his elbow and a sweetness filled you at the gesture, such as you’d never known before. It was peaceful and lovely and your little village suddenly looked as pretty and idyllic again as it was always supposed to, the routine route home was seen through his eyes, the eyes of a homesick boy with a soft girl on his arm, bound to meet her parents and inspect Donald’s plane models.
Your mother and father loved him, little surprise there, he was a darling and homesick and yours was a happy home, humble and wounded though it may be. Your mother was obnoxious in her delight the moment father took him out back to see where your expertise for welding first began, the little aerodrome, no longer fitted with pleasure craft but now fitted to scrap the more useless casualties. Mother pestered you as you helped clear the table, asking after him and whatever this thing was between you. When you assured her it was only dinner to fill that chair and some unfathomable knowledge that had grown each time you stood before his propeller and waved him off to death, she knew it for what it is.
War and the urgency of living that goes with it, shrinks long emotions into fast passion and steady hearts into foolish daring. Neither of you were the sort to tumble into the passing vogue passions that had seized hold of your friends and comrades. Yours was a quieter path. Even so, after the fourth evening of dinner rations and quiet fireside chatter and the patter of late summer rain on the roof, there was a kiss as he walked you back to base, his jacket over your shoulders, his shirt clinging to him and the sweetest intent etched on his misted features as his lips descended to yours.
“Thank you,” he had said so passionately yet so subdued, a wall of wisteria at your back and his honey blonde hair dripping into his eyes, “I’ve needed this bad.”
His words suggested the family dinners, his scorching lips suggested the molded flesh of your body in his large palms.
“So you’ve wanted this?” your breathed mixed, a hazy little cloud between you in the damp evening air, your little alcove of shelter from the rain under old Mosley’s shed was like another little world entirely, fauna filled and peaceful, even the ever present drone of machinery was drowned out by the downpour.
Your mother had been right, you should've waited longer till the clouds passed but you had both cited curfew -and maybe even subconsciously sought just such a predicament as the one that had you necking Gale Cleven in a wisteria claimed tool shed.
“I’ve wanted you.” he clarified, firm grip on the base of your neck punctuating his turmoil, his lips met yours again and whatever oath of abstinence he had chosen, it did not seem to include kissing. He was soft and persistent and all consuming, those restless hands migrating in an ever mapping caress, making every part of you thrum with butterflies. “Wanted you for a long while.” he spoke into your lips, “I think you’re just great.” And there was happiness then, untinged with anything temporal beyond the feel of warm flesh beneath cold, rain soaked cloth and lips that tasted of honeyed biscuits.
It was impossible to maintain the stoic propriety of behavior you’d once managed before, on base, after that. You knew now how he sounded when he moaned into your mouth and he his stare alone could make you blush, you had spoken to his mother on the phone and he had seen your childhood bedroom. He learned once, laying amongst sea grass on the beach during a cloudy Sunday, the silky moist feel of you beneath your swimsuit, his long, bashful fingers that were ever so fond of petting anything and everything, finally finding a place that responded to his swipes with jolts and gasps and sighs and pleasure. You peaked three times on that sand dune, Buck none the wiser as he had nothing to compare your little deaths to, you kept a firm grip on his forearm and told him he was doing marvelous and that’s all it took for him to be persistent. Persistent beyond what you imagined any other man could be due to cramp. He was getting freckles from so much sunshine, but it was well, the rains would be here soon come autumn.
These happy days had you risking your life to pause your work and watch his pretty form swagger across the asphalt to his next destination and he, ever so right and proper and by the book, became devil enough to lie in wait for you and catch you by the waist when you least suspected it and drag you into some abandoned corner.
Only to kiss you.
To kiss and to ask after your day, as if your evening was not to be spent sat beside him at table or the movies, lying on a picnic blanket with him near or in the back of a jeep on top of Mayberry Rise, the tallest point around where the stars ran into the sea on the horizon.
One of the first days of September, you made good on your promise to Harry and drove with him to muck about Oxford for a day and see the college, the library, too. It was a long ride and as you were at the wheel, Harry was gem enough to allow Gale along, too, and by the end of it, driving back late and in a rush before the headlights would be needed, you were quoting favorite literary passages to each other. As if you were all students, not misplaced youths in the business of killing.
You said as much and in the burgeoning gloom Gale’s rich voice asked if you knew any Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
“Not Wordsworth!” Harry clarified.
“No, I don’t.” You admitted, for all your chiding today of their not being cultured enough, you didn’t know your American writers as you should.
“He’s got a poem for that.” Gale said, “For what you said. Or at least, it makes me think of today -that verse, ‘member Crosby?- the one it goes:
-I remember the gleams and glooms that dart across the school-boy's brain; The song and the silence in the heart, That in part are prophecies, and in part, Are longings wild and vain. And the voice of that fitful song, Sings on, and is never still: "A boy's will is the wind's will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts."
The deafening silence for the rest of the car ride was filled with truth and your own heart was heavy when you bid them both goodnight that evening, headed to your seperate billets. You paused in you departure to turn back once more at the door and holler to Buck in the chilled September air, “That poem, is there more of it?”
“Lots more.” he’d spun round on his heel, pleasantly surprised at your inquiry.
“What’s it called?” you intended to search it out, though it was doubtful that a copy would be found near this remote place.
“How about I write it out for ya?” he suggested as if thinking the same.
“You’ve got a whole damn poem memorized?” you balked, incredulity warring with amusement that you should’ve guessed he’d be the sort.
“I-I-I might.” he stuttered before laughing.
“Then please do.” you grinned and threw him a kiss across the distance which he jumped up and caught from the air in a grand show of dedication. “Goodnight, cherub.” you wished him, “Sleep tight.” He had a mission in the morning, a daylight one.
“Goodnight old Bean.” He teased your accent and the door swung shut behind you blocking out the cold and the retreating sound of his footsteps.
If you’d have known that was the last time you’d hear them you’d have stayed an age out in the cold night listening to him go, memorizing the cadence of his gait, the sway of his shoulders disappearing into the twilight, the turn of his head as he’d throw a glance back at you, sweet and handsome and cheerful despite his ominous itinerary.
If you’d have only known.
It wasn’t like last time, like Africa. There had been no loss of contact. Dorace had heard every awful minute until the clock ran out. They’d been shredded, their precious ship turned into a raging inferno and Major Cleven’s gritted and garbled transmissions left only one hope that some at least had jumped out. Jumped out only to land in Nazi occupied Europe, it was a faint mercy to cling to.
The empty chair sat next to you again at the table and mocked you all. Mocked your hope and your resilience to dare love again. How foolish to bring home a man who belonged to a group they were calling “Bloody”, and not as a curse but an epithet.
The losses had been staggering all summer and now in September they hit close. You were confident that Crosby and Egan were every bit as dismal inside as you felt, Egan’s warm hand had clasped your shoulder like you were a fellow officer and told you he was sorry. You took the condolences and gave them back, a stupid little exchange that only highlighted how unspeakable some pain is.
Three weeks later, Egan’s plane didn’t come back either.
In your more fanciful moments you allowed yourself to imagine Egan and Cleven alive, somewhat whole and reunited. You could almost hear Cleven’s joking welcome, “What took you so long, Bucky?”
You’d indulged these fancies for Rafe, too, until years of silence suggested the worst.
However, this time, well into October and with an entirely new set of planes under your care, word came at last through the Red Cross, and the truth was exactly as you’d dreamed. There was only the paltriest letter back to command but it said they were well, they were alive, together indeed and being moved to the Polish border. Away from their own comrades' bombs. It was more than most ever got, and your family celebrated the news with the gratitude it deserved.
As October turned to November and your gloved fingertips froze as you worked, every sharp needle of chill reminded you of him, how much more awful it must be that far north, snow piled deep and muck everywhere and lice covered blankets and illness left untreated. As the holidays hurtled nearer, days of peace and goodwill you had planned to be spent with him, you were consumed by the dread of losing him to the elements since war had proven too clement. At night you lay abed and reread the one bit of handwriting you had from him, that damned poem he had written out, left under your door in the early dawn that had taken him from you.
My lost youth. That was the title of the thing. It cut like glass every time you read it, but Buck had touched that paper and looped those letters and dotted those i’s and it was precious to you. It became a prayer of sorts.
“There are things of which I may not speak;
There are dreams that cannot die;
There are thoughts that make the strong heart weak,
And bring a pallor into the cheek,
And a mist before the eye.
And the words of that fatal song
Come over me like a chill:—
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”
Strange to me now are the forms I meet
When I visit the dear old town;
But the native air is pure and sweet,
And the trees that o’ershadow each well-known street,
As they balance up and down,
Are singing the beautiful song,
Are sighing and whispering still:—
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”
Then, in January, as if prayers got heard, the most unexpected happened.
Major Gale Cleven, what was left of him after cold, starvation, murder and a treck across Europe, had returned. Things like this, seeing your lost beloved ride up to your workplace in the shotgun seat of a jeep, was the stuff of movies, hopeful propaganda or a woman’s mind that had finally cracked. You just stood there, welding helmet in hand, frozen rain spitting down at you, watching him jump out, watching Harry tear down from the observation tower to embrace him.
Dully, you could hear behind you Segreant Lemmons kind cheer of “so it was true, he got away from the bastards!” and a congratulatory thump between your shoulder blades. It was a moment of truth, to realize how far your faith had dwindled when the very answer to your prayers stood steaming with life in the cold air and yet you still could not accept it as reality.
“Baby.” his hands were warm compared to your damp cheeks and the span of them, so familiar and large, cupping your jaw with the calloused thumbs swiping at your temples, that was reminiscent of August and of happier days. Yet still, you had dreamed of him doing this, dreamed of a million different embraces and each time you woke up. “Baby, I’m back, I came to ya.” his voice was wrecked, from disuse and illness and whatever misery that had subjected him to. That, that was real enough, the rattling cough more so, you’d imagined his suffering in your worst nightmares too, this was something you could believe.
Familiar flesh was gaunt under your touch, gray cheeks where once there’d been freckles and the sinful pout of his once ruby red mouth was a dull violet, as if the vitality had been leached out of him. “What’d they do to my cherub?” you mourned, worst nightmares and wildest hopes blending into this one moment.
“Don’t cry, don’t cry f’me, I’m back. I came back.” he cooed to you, rough and sad himself, and your face was buried again in the placard of his coat, a great woolen overcoat this time, no fleece or any vestige of the swanky finery that got the flyboys ribbed for being soft, fancy, spoiled.
Nothing soft about these men, nothing gentle about their lot, nothing glamorous about being hurled down from the skies in a ball of fire.
“We kept praying for you.” you realized, it seemed important to tell him that however hopeless you all had felt, you’d gone through the motions anyway.
That was faith, wasn’t it? The hope of things not seen?
“I felt ‘em.” he said. “How else you think I managed it?”
It. -had managed it, that tiny word represented a host of terrors and miseries and unforgettable incidents that ricocheted in his brain like the lead fired into his boys head’s when they couldn’t manage a forced march, barefoot and underfed, in the snow.
Christmas had passed but January was not so very advanced, that evening your family turned back the clock and it was a matter of guessing as to who was celebrated more, baby Jesus or Buck Cleven. The two seemed intertwined at this point and in the warm glow of gas lamps and rationed toddy, with Buck’s hollow cheeks beginning to bloom and his dull eyes starting to animate, some part of you finally understood why so many felt worshipful on the holiday. The shit war rations felt like a feast, mama’s canned vegetables being the freshest thing he’d eaten in ages and with him sat at table again, empty chair filled, his hand creeping into your lap to lace with your own, there was peace.
Even the airforce, hard driving and high demanding though it was, took one look at his battered condition and admitted a period of conveyance was due. It wouldn’t do to send up a shoddy pilot, lose another plane, yet another crew or a hero of the hundredth. It’s not every day one of your squadron leaders escapes a POW camp and marches over occupied Europe and fordes the Channel to get back home.
A month was set aside. And you took as many weekday passes as you could during that month, happier than anything that he had been permitted to stay in town, to lodge with one of the locals. Rafe’s room was now occupied by him and mama’s broth was poured down Gale’s throat twice daily and his days kept busy with paperwork and Donald’s math problems. The ticking clock, the passing days, like the evil crocodile gobbling up time, was politely and britishly ignored in favor of enjoying what was. You no longer slept with the tear stained and crumpled poem clasped to your throat but his head lay there often enough instead. The thump of your heart helping him sleep, because exhausted and sick as he was, sleep and solitude were not comforts.
He was wracked with guilt for leaving Egan and his men behind, it had been every man for himself during that brutal forced march, he knew that and yet he’d left a friend behind. Buck waited for news of Egan like you’d waited for news of him. Nameless and senseless guilt ruining much of his own success and peace.
“He’d have expected nothing less of you.” you had taken to reminding him, “He’d be angry if you hadn’t taken the opportunity like you did.”
“I know.” he agreed miserably.
You admitted to him then, the horrid guilt of feeling that somehow, some missed defect or some lousy flaw had been the reason he’d been downed. Your work somehow not sufficient to keep him in the skies. When you’d admitted as much, Sergeant Lemmons had looked at you with all the censure such moronic introspection deserved: “Cleven got bombed to hell. He expected it, daytime raid and all. Blame the Nazis.”
“Blame the Nazis.” you suggested now to Gale as he lay sprawled in your arms, sweaty and feverish but his color was back and he looked pretty as anything so alive and near.
He looked ready to dare something, his face hovering nearer yours and the heavy weight of his limbs suddenly feeling full of intent but then his sparkling eye caught sight of something in the doorway and his lips quirked and his body shifted away.
“Whatcha doin’ sulkin’ out there Donny?” he addressed your brother and sure enough the little scamp emerged from the shadow of the doorway and joined you two on the bed, comic book clutched in his hands. They had a routine, apparently, Papa was no longer the chosen one for bedtime stories. It made you want to wince in anticipation for when Buck would move back to base and things would become full of dread again.
That day came sooner than you’d counted on. A month is not so very long, after all, and it was filled with so much work and business, stolen moments at home hardly being the norm.
“It’s an easy mission.” he’d said at dinner, as if arguing the point to you all. You knew he was trying to convince himself more than anything and so you all let him specify just how easy, how routine, how utterly unworrying tomorrow's flight would -should- be.
If it’s hard to get back into the saddle after being bucked off, how much worse to climb back into a plane after being tossed from the skies.
That evening he lounged on your bed instead of Rafe’s, the house emptied as your mother and father took Donny to the movies, the appeal of a new film finally showing cited as being too alluring to resist. He was lost in his thoughts, watching you go about your little evening routines that you tried to maintain when at home. It was domestic and cozy, warm where the world outside was cold and then there was Buck, golden as anything in the low lamp light, utterly unaware of the figure he cut lying on his side.
“I’ve missed it.” he told you, “Flying, I’ve missed it.”
“Of course you have. You were born for it.” you murmured.
“Ya know,” he reflected, “I signed up for the Air Force before it all got hot, before Pearl Harbor. I was gonna fly no matter what. I remember grittin’ my teeth durin’ training and tellin’ myself it would all be worth it. Just hang in there and it would pay off. I just felt something important would need me. Hell, guess I got more than I ever bargained for, didn’t I?”
“I guess you did.” you agreed.
“I couldn’t do this if I didn’t believe in it.” He insisted and you knew he was talking to himself again, until his face turned towards yours and the softest look of fondness crossed features turning them almost pained when he said next, “I couldn’t do it, get back up there, if it weren’t for love. The rightness of it but -love, for my boys, my family. For you.”
“I know, and we’re terribly lucky to have your devotion. -And…and I love you, too.” you vowed earnestly, then giggled at the absurdity of this being the first time to admit it.
“I’d had my suspicions.” he grinned back, some of that old cockiness returning along with his vigor as he snagged your wrist and pulled you down beside him.
“Do you know why my parents have gone?” you asked him pointedly, turning on your side to face him.
“To see a movie.” His face was so innocently perplexed you almost lost control of yourself and ruined the game right then with something terribly forward.
“My parents aren’t in the habit of seeing movies.” you corrected him soberly.
“No?”
“No.”
“So where’d they go?” Buck asked.
“Oh they’re at the movies.” you smirked, “But they’ve gone for us.”
Gale’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, if not of you then of his own naïveté. “For us.” he repeated and his voice had dropped an octave in the interim.
“Yes. Something about wanting us to have a goodbye.” you quoted.
“I’m not dying tomorrow.” he pointed his finger firmly in your face and it made you smile to see him so fiesty again.
“No,” you agreed with his prophecy, “but I wanted to give you some incentive to hurry back.”
“Oh?” those lips of his puckered again in confusion before his smarts caught up with him and the pink corner tugged up in mischief, “Ooooh.” he repeated, suddenly very close, his energy, his body, his heart, inches from being one with you. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, oh yes.” you confirmed, slotting your lips against his gently only to be met with eager, desperate need in his own kisses.
Your childhood bed was narrow and the counterpane below you familiar and dear, stitched by your mother in colors you’d once wished to update upon entering maturity. Now, laid out in perfect security and familiarity, you watched Buck Cleven dangle a toe off the abyss before diving in, pausing to caress the blanket beside your hip, smiling to himself.
“What?” you were breathless to know every thought in that dear head.
“My mama made me one, looks lots like this.” his eyes were watery soft yet his smile was glad, his hips narrow and sharp in the cradle of your own, stark hipbones not yet padded by your mother’s cooking pressed you down into the bedding, grounded and right. “You’ve made me real at home here.” he whispered and it pleased you ever so much. “Do I dare take this last liberty?” he muttered as if to himself, even as those blue orbs bore into your own, his fingers fiddling with the hem of your skirt and you ached from need long deferred and the weight of remedy lying heavy between your thighs.
“It’s no liberty,” you whispered, catching his dog tags and bringing his face to yours, the size of the man so very apparent now he was hovering above you, “it’s yours.” you watched his pupils blow out at the statement, his ragged breath fanned minty across your face, even angels wield swords. “I’m yours.”
“And I’m yours.” he concluded.
With that exchange of truths something snapped between you, like a ribbon cut, gone was the hesitant cordiality and deference that had marked your courtship. Here now was fierce possession and the gloated satisfaction of those who possess something cherished and are no longer kept from partaking of it, buckles and garters snapped in the quiet room and the rustle of sheets and shirts wafting to the floor made your breaths hitch with anticipation. Precious flesh came into touch with every brush and it was enough for many minutes merely to cling and grasp, imprinting desire into the back and the arms and the throat of each other, like an armor of love against the decay of death.
“Yours, yours.” you swore as his finger played you once more, his breathing hard and rough in your ear, harsh commands for you to say it again and again, reminding you he was fearsome when he wanted to be.
“Don’t look,” he begged when you realized through a haze of joy what he was about, pressing in with all the finesse of a cricket bat knocking at the wicket, hoarse and doe eyed above you, there was only the whine, “please, darlin’ don’t look, just, my eyes, please.”
It was a fumbling entry but nature and pleasure prevailed, as it had since the first couple. And dear boy that he was, he knew you had indulged in a leg up, one or two at least, before he came along but still, he could not bear it for you to see more, not this time. He wanted it just to be the kisses and the sight of your precious face contorting at the fullness of your belly and the force of his hunger for you. All the rest were vulgar details left somewhere under your skirts, and, unbeknownst to him, reflected in your childhood mirror situated on the wall behind his plump arse.
“Oh god.” he had choked out, winded and in awe as his body shook at the feel of you accepting him deep, “You’re a slice of heaven, heaven that’s-that’s what you fee- oh god, oh god.”
He had giggled at the absurdity of this dance and then broke off with a moan that made you giggle in turn and back and forth it went as his body jerked into yours as if he’d no control over it, led quite literally by the part of himself buried inside you. He knew it was foal-like and a poor showing as a lover and he also knew you didn’t care a bit, your eyes wide at the size of the intrusion and captivated by the sight of his newly enlightened face.
“You alright?” he asked urgently, as a sudden and familiar feeling took over his body. The feeling of his brakes giving out, his flaps malfunctioning, the hydraulics failing -it took over him, his spine tingling and his vision beginning to blur and only your punched out gasps and sweet smile wavering on his horizon as the frantic, masculine, natural need to drive in deep enough to puncture your heart seized him and propelled him in you, against you, above you with such force you forgot to breath. For all Egan’s teasing of Buck’s hatred for athletics, the man wasn’t shabby when it came down to it, even after months of internment, or maybe due to that stolen time, his life force seemed to pour out in a torrent and your belly buzzed at the sweet abuse.
“I’m perfect.” you managed at some point, “You’re perfect, so perfect.”
He shuddered at the praise and as if terror struck him then, he was suddenly pulling away and moaning “I should- I shouldn’t -I’m gonna, darlin, I’m gonna lose it-“ and young and sweet and clumsy as anything he rutted against your slick frantically, mouth pressed to yours until the hot gush of his satisfaction spilled out and added to the mind fuzzing feel of him sliding against your little pearl.
You encouraged his shaky limbs to collapse on you, the lanky frame of him a sweet weight, sweaty cheek pressed to your breast, you could feel the dopey curve of his smile against your plump flesh. His hair curled at the nape from the sweat of his exertions, all winter chill forgotten in this bed. War and missions and bombs, too. You petted each other for a while before he raised his head and, gazing at you adoringly, he murmured “thank you.” his nose nudging yours and the steadiest of kisses lingering in the tingly aftermath.
“Darlin?” he broached the subject a while later, cheek again pressed to your chest and his fingers sliding in a hypnotic caress over your thigh.
“Yeah, Buck?”
“Later,” he prefaced, tentative and raw, “when -when the war’s over, and when, well, when I can make my own promises…”
Your heart hammered beneath his ear and you squeezed your legs around him, as if to shore him up enough to say what you wanted him to say so very badly. “Yes?”
“Would you marry me then?” he begged and somehow you knew this, what you had just indulged in, was never going to happen without that hope for him.
Perhaps that’s why it felt so strong, like a communion of souls more than anything else. “I’ve half a mind to make you wait and get my answer when you come back tomorrow.” you teased and his head reared up with a dangerous glint in his eye.
“Don’t you dare.” he warned, grin breaking out despite himself.
The sound of the front latch grating on the door startled you both but he pressed you down when you went to scamper and clothe yourself. “The door’s closed anyway,” he argued in a whisper but you knew he felt as nervous as you at being caught, if not more so, yet still he was a stubborn one. His hand was firm and large clasping your cheek, expression arch and expectant. “Promise you’ll be a good little girl and say yes when I do ask.”
You laughed at his gall, to make you wait, to make you promise when he wasn’t even proposing. But then again -you had said you were his, and he was yours. It had already been done. Sometimes life was as simple as Gale Cleven made it out to be.
“I promise.” you whispered happily, bringing him back down to your embrace and willing away thoughts of tomorrow and flagging him out to danger.
One day he’d come back for good. One you could make promises again. Until then, there was hope.
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Feedback is a writers lifeblood, I’d adore hearing your thoughts. 💋
#masters of the air#mota#masters of the air fanfiction#gosh is that a first tag? i don’t think so I know I’ve seen schemes at the very least on here#mota fanfic#austin butler#gale cleven#john egan#Major Egan#Major Cleven#buck cleven#Gale Cleven fanfiction#austin butler fanfiction#austin butler x reader#austin butler x you#austin butler x y/n#austin butler fluff#Austin Butler imagine#Austin butler smut#callum Turner fanfiction#callum turner#harry crosby#anthony boyle#hbo war#band of brothers#the pacific
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I Like Your Tie...
A/n: OMG ONE OF MY FAVS REQUESTED! I loved this request; thats why it took SO LONG I’m sorry my friend I hope you enjoyyyy!! <3 I needed another Nanami request so bad so you did me a favour with this one, LOLLL.
Request: “Your last Toji fic got me frothing like a rabid dog. Lol. in all ways it was very uniquely him indeed ! The same for Gojo and Witch!Reader. Could I shy request a fic with the song 'Talk' by Hozier paired up with Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader ? Something sensual steamy but ever so romantic for the blonde? I can practically see him saying or thinking such lyric quotes as "I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we'd do... So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you. Imagine being loved by me". May she's a fellow Special Grade sorcerer, and their friendship keeps building up, but neither wants to cross the line ? So they dance around it, until something happens ? Idk. >\\\\\\\\\\\\\\< I'll leave it to your artistic hands and imagination what to do with this? If you feel inspired to. In any case, please delete if this seems rubbish. Anyway, thank you for your stories ! Thank you so much. ♡” - @erebus-et-eigengrau (lurvv uu)
My requests are always open :)
Pairing: Kento Nanami x f/reader
Word count: 3.8K
Warnings: 18+ Content, SMUT!, intercourse, light choking, control kink(ish), pet name
The late-night quiet of Jujutsu High was comforting in a way—no students rushing through the halls, no teachers around to monitor. You had been grateful for the peace, retreating to your room after a long day.
But as you reached your door, you stopped in your tracks.
There he was. Nanami Kento stood in front of your door, leaning casually against the wall.
—
You and Nanami had been friends for what felt like a lifetime, though it all began back in high school. Back then, you had a bit of a crush on him—not that you’d ever admit it. He wasn’t the type to flirt or give much attention to relationships, but there was something about him that always caught your eye.
You had your moments, too—shared laughter, and private conversations late into the night, when the walls between friends almost seemed to blur.
But Nanami never made a move, and neither did you. You knew how seriously he took his role as a sorcerer, and you didn’t want to complicate your friendship with feelings that you weren’t sure were mutual.
As you both graduated and eventually became high-level sorcerers, those moments of potential intimacy became even more distant. You grew into your own roles, taking on increasingly dangerous missions and fighting curses that most could barely comprehend. Nanami was often assigned to the same missions as you, his calm, steady presence a source of reassurance when things got chaotic.
There were times when his professionalism would slip, just for a moment. A fleeting look, a brush of his fingers against yours, his voice dropping an octave when he spoke your name. You always wondered if he felt it too—that same tension you tried so hard to ignore. But you never dared to ask, afraid of what it might mean if the answer was yes.
And now, standing in front of him in the quiet after everything that had just happened, you realized just how deeply those old feelings still ran.
There were times, though, when your old crush resurfaced.
Sometimes, it was the way he’d look at you across the battlefield, silently checking to see if you were okay, his eyes filled with a concern that was more than just professional. Other times, it was the rare, gentle touch when he’d help you after a fight—his hand brushing your arm or waist as he steadied you after a particularly tough encounter.
But you always pushed those feelings down, refusing to acknowledge them for the sake of professionalism.
The sorcery world didn’t leave much room for distractions, and you knew that Nanami was as dedicated as ever. He was the picture of control, never letting emotions dictate his actions, always focused on the mission at hand. You convinced yourself that whatever crush you had on him was just remnants of your high school days, a fleeting fantasy that had no place in your current life.
—
His arms were crossed, his tie long loosened, and the top buttons of his shirt undone. The dim lighting of the hallway cast a shadow over his sharp features, making the intensity in his eyes even more pronounced. He looked every bit the composed man he always was, but something about the way his gaze followed your every movement made your heart stutter.
“Nanami…” His name left your lips in a quiet murmur, not expecting to see him there, not like this.
“You’re out late,” he observed, his voice steady but lower than usual, as if the stillness of the night demanded it.
You nodded, feeling the weight of his gaze on you. “Well, one of the first-years wanted some late-night training…What are you doing here?”
He didn’t answer right away, eyes flicking down to your lips before settling back on yours.
You could feel the tension in the air, thick and palpable, making it hard to think clearly. His usual restraint seemed to falter, just slightly, but enough to make your pulse race.
“I was waiting for you.” His voice was steady, but the words made your breath hitch.
Your heart pounded in your chest.
“Waiting for me?” You said quietly, a heat beginning to pool between your thighs.
Nanami pushed off the doorframe and stepped closer to you, his movements deliberate. The space between you closed as his tall figure made its way toward you—the tension that had been simmering beneath the surface for weeks finally came to a boil.
“Why were you waiting for me..?” You questioned, “I need to talk,” He responded, his voice barely above a whisper.
He was close enough now that you could feel the warmth radiating from him, the faint scent of his cologne filling your senses.
“I used to try to talk so refined, in fear of you finding out…” He admitted, his voice lower now, almost rough around the edges. His eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your knees weak.
“Finding out what, Nanami.” You breathed, watching how his lips parted just slightly while he paused. “How I’ve been imagining you."
The air between you was thick with tension, so heavy you could almost taste it. Nanami stood inches away, close enough that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. His normally professional demeanour had cracked, revealing something raw, something primal. The careful distance you both had maintained was no longer there.
"Imagining me…?" You repeated, your voice barely more than a whisper. Your heart pounded in your chest, and you were certain he could hear it.
Nanami’s eyes darkened, and his gaze roamed over you in a way that left your body practically squirming under his scrutiny. His jaw clenched for a moment as though fighting some internal battle, but when he spoke, his voice was low and hoarse, filled with a desire he was no longer trying to hide.
“Every time I look at you,” he confessed, his hands flexing at his sides, like he was resisting the urge to touch you, “I think about how you’d feel under my touch… under me.”
Your breath caught, your throat suddenly dry as his words sank in. The image of his hands on your skin, the weight of him pressing against you, the feeling of him between your legs—it sent a wave of heat through your body, leaving you borderline trembling with anticipation.
“Nanami…” you whispered his name, your voice trembling with the same desire that was now coursing through you. The distance between you felt unbearable.
The professionalism you both held onto so tightly was crumbling, and the temptation to give in was overwhelming.
The hallway was too quiet, too intimate, and it felt like the rest of the world had fallen away. It was just the two of you, standing there on the precipice of something dangerous and irresistible.
“I won’t deny I’ve got in my mind now all the things we’d do,” he confessed, his voice barely a whisper as his thumb traced your jawline, gently tilting your head with two fingers. His eyes darkened with want, and the weight of his words hung heavily in the air.
That was all it took. The pull between you snapped, and before you could think, your hands were fisting in his dark blue shirt, pulling him down to meet your lips in a kiss that was heated, desperate—inevitable.
His hand swiftly opened your door before pushing you into it, causing both of you to stumble into the dimly lit room. With a loud thud, Nanami kicked the door shut before pushing you back up against your entryway wall.
Nanami groaned softly into your mouth—your pussy practically throbbing at the sound—and his hands immediately wrapped around your waist, tugging you closer as if he couldn’t stand the idea of any space between you. His lips moved against yours with a hunger that you hadn’t expected, and it left you breathless.
You gasped when his hands gripped your hips firmly, pushing more firmly against the wall. The cool surface against your back was a stark contrast to the heat that radiated from him as he pressed himself closer, his lips never leaving yours.
His kisses were deliberate, slow—but rough—as if he wanted to savour every moment of this.
"Mmf…Nanami," you breathed, pulling back just enough to look at him, your lips swollen from the kiss, breathless. "What are we doing?"
His forehead rested against yours, his breath ragged as he looked down at you. There was something raw, unguarded in his expression. “What I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”
Your heart fluttered at his words, and before you could say anything else, he was kissing you again, deeper this time. “Now be a good girl for me, y/n.” He practically purred against your lips, as he lifed you so your legs wrapped around his waist.
His hands moved with more confidence now, sliding up your sides while you were pinned against the wall, his touch sending shivers down your spine. You tugged at his hair, your fingers desperate to feel more of him.
His hands, rough from battle and years of work, were surprisingly gentle as they slid beneath your shirt, fingers brushing over your painfully hard nipples, teasing you. You arched into him, your body responding to every touch.
He made quick work of your jacket—and that tiny tank top you wore underneath it, his hands roughly reaching for every bit of exposed skin.
Nanami growled softly with your legs wrapped around his waist, his lips trailed down the column of your neck, his teeth grazing your skin in a way that had you moaning his name.
"Do you want me to stop?" He asked, his breath hot against your neck, but the fire in his eyes told you stopping was the last thing he wanted to do.
"Don’t," you whispered—pleading with him for more, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer. "Don’t stop."
Nanami’s eyes darkened further at your words, and a slow, subtle smirk spread across his lips. "Good girl," he murmured, his voice rough with desire.
His hand moved up to the tie hanging loosely around his neck, fingers working quickly to loosen it even further. Before you could register what he was doing, he slid the tie off entirely, his movements deliberate and slow as he looped the fabric around your neck.
The silk felt cool against your skin, a stark contrast to the heat radiating from your body. His eyes never left yours as he gently tugged at the tie, pulling you closer, the pressure on your throat light but enough to send a thrill through you that went straight to your now-soaked pussy.
“There,” he whispered, his thumb brushing over the side of your neck as he admired how the tie looked wrapped around you, it falling on your bare chest. In a moment, his lips were back on your skin, trailing lower this time as his free hand continued to explore your body. He kissed a path down to your chest, the tie around your neck tightening just slightly as he pulled you even closer.
He brought you to the couch in your small room with one hand while the other held the back of your head as his tongue explored your mouth.
“You look so beautiful like this, do you know that, y/n? With my tie around your pretty little neck…” He murmured against your skin, his voice laced with raw, unfiltered need.
Hoisting you up onto the back of the couch, his hand slipped beneath the waistband of your skirt, fingers brushing against the wetness between your thighs, and the contact made you gasp.
With one swift but gentle movement, Nanami slid your skirt and tights down your legs, and now you sat in front of him—completely vulnerable.
“Nanami—” Your words were cut off by a moan as his fingers returned, pressing more firmly, the slow, torturous circles he drew making your entire body tremble. The tie tightened just a fraction more as he leaned back to look at you, his thumb brushing against your clit in a way that had your heart racing even faster.
“You’re so responsive for me,” he growled softly, his fingers entering your dripping cunt slowly, making sure to feel every inch of your interior. “It’s driving me insane.”
You could barely breathe, the combination of his fingers between your legs and the light pressure of the tie around your neck leaving you a trembling mess in his arms. You clung to him, your hands gripping his broad shoulders as you fought to hold on, your body betraying you with every ragged breath and every desperate moan.
"Nanami, please..." You barely recognized your own voice, hoarse and breathless as you begged for him.
He smirked against your skin, clearly pleased by your reaction. “You want more, don’t you?” He asked, his voice thick with amusement, but the tension in his body told you he was just as desperate as you were.
You nodded, your head falling back as your body arched into his touch. “Please…”
The sound of your begging seemed to snap something in him. With one swift motion, he lifted you up with one arm and spun you around before setting you on your feet in front of him, your ass pressing up against his bulge as the cool leather from the couch pressed against your lower abdomen.
He leaned down, his lips brushing your ear as his fingers slipped inside you again, making you gasp loudly at the sudden (welcomed) intrusion.
“I want to hear you beg for me again,” he whispered, his breath hot against your skin as his fingers moved with agonizing slowness, teasing you, driving you to the brink of insanity. His other hand subtly undid his belt, lowering his pants just enough to expose his desperate cock.
You moaned, arching into his hand, your body betraying you as it responded to every touch, every whisper of his breath on your skin. “Nanami...hmmf…please...I-I need you in me.” You managed to get out between moans.
“That’s it,” he growled, his fingers exiting you, but they were quickly replaced by his dick as he inserted himself into you—feeling you stretch around him caused him to throw his head back in pleasure, and he gave a little yank on the tie, your head jerking backwards as your stomach pressed harder into the couch, provoking a pornographic moan to exit your lips.
“Fuck,” he growled, his breath hot against your skin as he buried himself inside you, again and again, each stroke thrusting deeper into your gummy walls, sending waves of pleasure through your body. “You feel so good.”
His pace quickened, and the slow, deliberate rhythm gave way to something more primal and desperate. His control was slipping, and you could feel it in every rough thrust, every growl that rumbled from his chest as he claimed you completely.
The tie tightened again, the silk digging into your skin just enough to heighten the pleasure, and the sensation sent you spiralling toward the edge. Your body trembled beneath him, your nails digging into his shoulders as you gasped for breath, the intensity of it all overwhelming.
He leaned forward, the new angle allowing him to go even deeper into you. He gently moved your hair off of your shoulder as his delicate fingers traced the border of his tie and your skin. “You really are such a good girl.”
His thumb pushed into clit as he thrusted into you at a dominating pace—the sensation was nearly enough to push you over the edge—but you held on a little longer. You cried out his name, your entire body shaking as his pace quickened, he tightened the feeling around your throat with the tie around your neck pulling you closer to him.
Nanami’s body moved behind you, the warmth of him pressing against your back as his hands gripped your hips. Bent over the back of your couch, with the cool surface a stark contrast to the heat radiating from your flushed skin. “Mmhf–Nanami…Oh please.” You moaned out, practically begging him for more as he fucked you with a controlling pace
His breath was heavy, ragged, as he leaned over you, his chest pressing against your back, making you feel the sheer size and strength of him as he dominated you completely.
Nanami’s fingers wrapped around his tie nicely wrapped around your neck, pulling it taut. The sensation made you gasp, your head tilting back slightly as the silk tightened around your throat just enough to send a jolt of pleasure through your already overstimulated body. Suddenly he took his soaked dick out of you letting it land on your ass, rubbing his hand over the smooth skin.
“You look just perfect like this,” he growled low in your ear, his voice thick with lust as he tugged the tie just a bit tighter, your chin tilting up as he whispered in your ear. “Bent over—begging for me.”
Your legs trembled beneath you, your body quivering with anticipation, but before you could respond, he was inside you again.
The stretch was immediate, deep, and overwhelming as he thrust into you from behind, filling you completely with a single stroke. You cried out, your fingers gripping the edge of the desk as he pulled you back against him, the tie keeping you tethered, under his controlled.
“Nanami…” You moaned his name, your voice barely more than a breathless whisper as he began to move, his hips snapping against you in a relentless rhythm. Every thrust was harder than the last, his grip on the tie tightening with every movement, pulling you back into him, forcing you to feel every inch of him.
His pace was brutal, his control slipping entirely as he watched the way your body reacted to him, the way you moaned his name with every stroke. His free hand found your hip, gripping you so tightly that you were sure there’d be marks tomorrow, but the thought only sent another wave of arousal through you.
“You feel so good, y/n,” he growled, his voice rough as he leaned over you, his lips brushing against the back of your neck. “My good girl...”
His words are what sent you over the edge, the stimulation of your orgasm turning your vision white.
Your body was on fire, every nerve alive with pleasure as he drove into you again and again. The tie around your neck tightened even more, the pressure just enough to leave you lightheaded, completely at his mercy. You felt every inch of him inside you, the sound of skin against skin filling the room, along with your breathless moans as pleasure washed over you.
Nanami's body pressed closer as you shuddered beneath him, the waves of your orgasm still coursing through you.
But he didn’t stop.
Even as your body trembled, oversensitive and breathless, he kept thrusting into you with the same relentless intensity. His pace didn’t falter, and each stroke seemed deeper, more demanding, as if he couldn't get enough of the way you clenched around him.
Your moans turned to gasps as pleasure mixed with the overwhelming sensation of him continuing to push you past your limit. Your fingers clutched at his back, nails digging into his skin with a painful force, but he didn't slow down. He leaned over you, his lips brushing against your ear, his breath hot and ragged.
“Look at you, taking it so well," he groaned, his voice dark and full of praise. "You feel so good, I don’t want to stop.”
Your legs shook around him, your body still pulsating from your release, and the overstimulation had you crying out, your nails leaving marks along his back.
"Nanami... please..." you gasped, unsure if you were begging him to stop or to keep going. You felt like you were being consumed, every nerve on fire, and yet your body responded to his touch, desperate for more.
He shifted slightly, angling his hips to hit that perfect spot inside you with every thrust, his hand still pressed firmly against your clit drawing rough circles. The tie around your neck tightened just a bit more, enough to remind you of the control he had, the control you were willingly giving him.
“I’m not done with you yet," he growled, his thrusts growing rougher, faster, his body taking full control over yours. "You can come again for me, can’t you?"
You didn’t know how it was possible, but the overwhelming pleasure began to build again inside you. His touch on your clit was insistent, his hips snapping against yours in a rhythm that left you breathless, teetering on the edge of something even more intense than before.
Your body trembled beneath him, the overstimulation and pleasure merging into something maddening. Every nerve was alight, your body responding to him in ways you couldn’t control. You were already too sensitive, your mind spinning as he pushed you closer and closer to the brink once again.
Nanami could feel it—he knew exactly how close you were, how your body tensed around him. His lips brushed your ear as he spoke, his voice low and commanding. “Come for me again, y/n. I want to feel you fall apart around me baby.”
With that, his fingers pressed harder against your clit, and his hips slammed into you at a brutal pace, each thrust sending you spiraling further out of control. The pressure inside you coiled impossibly tight, and with a cry of his name, you shattered once more, the intensity of your second orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave.
Your body shook uncontrollably, your moans turning to sobs of pleasure as you convulsed around him. The sensation was too much, too overwhelming, and yet you never wanted it to end. Nanami’s name fell from your lips like a prayer as he continued thrusting into you, his own breathing growing more ragged, more desperate.
"That's it," he growled, his voice thick with pleasure as he watched you unravel beneath him, his pace rapidly increasing. "So fucking beautiful."
He wasn’t far behind. The way your walls clenched around him, the way you shook with each thrust, sent him over the edge.
His pace grew erratic, his grip on your waist tightening as he buried himself deep inside you one last time, groaning your name as he came. He tugged at the tie harshly, yanking you up form your bent over position so yoru back was against his sweaty chest, his hand gently holding your chin up.
“You were so good for me,” he breathed, his voice hoarse, igniting a spark in you again. You remained silent for a few moments, breath staggered as you tried to catch it, still shaking with pleasure as he held you upright in front of him.
Finally, you opened your mouth to speak, a cheeky smile playing on your lips, “I like your tie…”
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen imagine#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jjk nanami#nanami smut#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jujutsu nanami#nanami x you#nanami x y/n#kento nanami smut#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#kento nanami x y/n#gojo smut#toji smut#nanami x reader smut#jujustu kaisen#jjk x reader smut#jjk x y/n#simplygojo#gojo satoru#nanami x oc#kento nanamix#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut
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𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆
⁂ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
⁂ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭; 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩!𝐀𝐔, 𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭!𝐣𝐚𝐲
⁂ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟖.𝟖𝐤
⁂ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯 𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐠 (𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐦— 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥) 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞!𝐣𝐚𝐲, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 & 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐦𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠/𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝-𝐝𝐨𝐦!𝐣𝐚𝐲, 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭 (𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡), 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟.𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐬𝐦 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚𝐥
⁂ 𝐀/𝐍: 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐛𝐲 𝟑-𝟒 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐭𝐰! 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭!𝐣𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐨. 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐜, 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝! 𝐱𝐱 𝐳𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐞)
⁂ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧…
You don‘t know what it is, but something about your boyfriend‘s workplace never fails to excite you.
There are definitely a few things you can think of but one of the main reasons is the heavy contrast between your own and the tattoo shop‘s aesthetic build, which makes you even more nervous and excited to be there.
With all the black and gray, the few dark green and blue shades, everything about it reminds you of your lover and just how fascinating the two of you must look to outstanders.
And despite looking more than just out of place the second you step your foot through the front door, you know no one‘s going to make you feel uncomfortable simply because Jongseong won‘t let them.
As the owner and one of the best artists of the shop, everyone, including the regular customers, pretty much know about you. You don‘t know how Jay had managed it, but you also never bothered questioning it. After all he‘s the boss and you‘ve been with him even before he opened the now incredibly successful studio, so it just seems to make sense.
You approach the big glass door with a big smile and patiently wait for your boyfriend‘s best friend and fellow tattoo artist to see you.
“Damn, Y/N”, Jake chuckles and takes the bags with food from you, his lips stretched into a handsome grin as he gives you a quick hug, “I thought this would take you another hour, to be really honest. You‘re awesome, thank you, little one.”
You follow the blonde male to the big counter at the very right of the shop, your eyes quickly grazing over the dark lines on his arms, waiting for him to set the bags down before you shift your attention back to his handsome face.
“Jongie left the house without breakfast again and I hate it when he only has one meal a day so I was already on my way to that place when I texted you to ask the others for their orders”, you explain to him, a soft pout on your lips at the mention of your boyfriend‘s bad habit.
“That guy”, Jake sighs, taking a sip from his RedBull and shaking his head as he looks at you just as disappointed, “he loves to live off of cigarettes and if it wasn‘t for you, he‘d be a walking nicotine addiction.”
You chuckle and let your eyes roam the beautiful interior of the tattoo studio, your boyfriend‘s love for minimalism rather obvious in every little detail, starting from the furniture all up to the decorations.
“Oh, my God! Miss Y/N, I fucking love you”, the raspy yet excited sound of Yunjin’s voice makes you smile and with a small chuckle, you watch the blonde almost brutally push Jake away from the bags of food.
“Yours and Jihyo’s is in the bag with the napkins, Jen!”, you say and start giggling at the way she looks at you with literal love gleaming in her pretty eyes.
“How much was this, little one?”, Jaeyun asks and plops down on one of the big armchairs on the other side of the room before he pushes half of his cheeseburger into his mouth and takes a bite.
You furrow your brows at his question and roll your eyes before you ignore him, your gaze slowly wandering to the door of your boyfriend‘s workplace.
“I‘m going to rat you out to Jay, I literally don‘t give a fuck, Y/N”, Jake huffs and angrily continues to munch on his burger.
You just shrug his threat off, watch Jen take a seat next to her coworker with her mouth stuffed to the brim and yet a content smile on her lips.
The sudden sound of deep laughter manages to get your attention and at the realization that you only know two of the three voices, you curiously let your eyes wander to the hallway behind the counter.
Sunghoon and Jungwon are quick to spot you, both of them shooting you a genuine smile and a small wave as they listen to the tall brunette standing in between them.
You smile and wave back happily, trying your best not to stare at the stranger too much but for some reason your head is trying to make out his handsome features, as if you knew him from somewhere but couldn‘t pinpoint where exactly.
“But seriously, the girls over there are a whole new level when it comes to that and-”, the tall guy suddenly stops in his tracks, his cat-like eyes roaming your body shamelessly and for the first time in what feels like forever the feeling of slight discomfort overcomes you.
“And who is this pretty girl in the cute little dress?”, he says, nudging Sunghoon’s arm with his elbow as he never once averts his prying gaze from you.
In some kind of twisted way, you enjoy the way he so obviously seems to like what he sees but the disgusting feeling of anxiety creeping up your spine is what slowly drives you crazy.
You stare at your shoes like your whole life is depending on it; and nervously fumble with your fingers as you begin to regret your wardrobe choice yet again.
“Back off, Jaemin”, Jake grunts and suddenly gets onto his feet before he approaches you, “remember the doll Jay kept talking about? That‘s her. So you better not even think about it”, he adds and comes to stand right next to you, tattooed arms crossed in front of his chest as the two males stare at each other.
“Jaeyun”, the stranger cooes and breaks into a big smile, his astonishingly pretty features almost blinding you and if it wasn‘t for him running his inked hand through his thick hair, you would have stared at him for another good minute, “at least let me introduce myself to her, hm? I don‘t want her to think that I‘m impolite or rude.”
“It‘s okay”, you say and place your hand on Jake’s arm, smiling at him rather confidently to make sure he knows that you‘ve got this.
“There we go. I‘m Jaemin”, the stranger begins and holds up his hand, “Na Jaemin.”
And at the sound of his name, it finally clicks.
You can‘t even remember the amount of times you‘ve heard his name; the boys talking about him so much, you couldn‘t help but get curious as to who he is, yet never once having the chance to meet him in all those years of dating Jongseong .
Never once did he say anything negative about him despite the male’s annoying habit of natural pettiness and that‘s probably why you‘ve been so eager to give a face to the name. You definitely remember seeing pictures of him with the boys from High School since they were all somehow connected with each other through their sports clubs, which is why he probably seemed so familiar at the first glance.
And to say that you‘re positively surprised at the actual face would be an understatement.
“I‘m Y/N”, you say and shake his hand, gulping harshly as you try your best to maintain eye contact but feeling yourself fail miserably.
“No wonder grumpy Jong never stops talking about you when we go out for drinks”, Jaemin chuckles, a row of loud sighs coming from the boys and leaving you even more overwhelmed, “I wouldn’t shut the fuck up either if I had doll as pretty as you.”
“Back the fuck off, Jaemin”, Jungwon hisses and rolls his eyes, Sunghoon shooting you an apologetic smile since he knows – everyone knows – just how anxious you get when someone flirts with you, which you like to blame on your lack of experience with the opposite gender as well as your social anxiety.
“Oh, calm the fuck down, guys”, Jaemin laughs and tilts his head to the side, “you know I can‘t hold myself back when I see a pretty girl.”
“That‘s enough, Jaems”, the sudden resounding of your boyfriend‘s incredibly deep and slightly raspy voice calms you down in almost an instant; the familiarity and feeling of being absolutely safe puts you at ease just like that.
You turn around with a big smile on your face before you finally meet the gaze of your lover.
Without even thinking about it, you let your gaze roam over his broad shoulders and his strong torso, the fabric of his black shirt clinging to his skin in just the right places. You shamelessly ignore the customer right next to Jay as your eyes fall to his thick thighs; the smooth leather of his pants and the chains dangling from his belt just emphasizing the beauty of them even more.
Just when you finally come to look at his heavy boots, Jongseong starts speaking again; this time a lot less strict and rather relaxed.
“And again, if you‘re worried or anything like that, just give us a call or come to the studio and one of us will have a look at it, yeah?”, he says, his lips stretched into a genuine smile and you feel your chest growing warmer and warmer the longer you watch him.
Everyone says their goodbyes to the customer before the boys grab the other bags and go to join Jennifer on the couch.
You nervously wait for Jay to say anything; his eyes just strictly staring Jaemin down who easily holds the stare; not really caring about the intimidating aura of your boyfriend.
“Da- uhm I mean, Jay?”, you mumble and look at him with needy eyes, your whole body craving his presence but for some reason you‘re still a bit too shy to go up to him with everyone so close.
You softly grip his shirt, hoping to get his attention that way and as he continues to keep his focus on the tall guy, the heavier the feeling of disappointment fills your chest. The thought of him not being happy to see you upsets you a lot more than you would have expected it to.
“You‘re one of my dearest friends and I‘d do a lot for you but I will actually break your kneecaps if I have to. I have even less shame and decency than usual when it comes to my doll”, Jongseong mumbles, rubbing the sides of his pierced nose with his thumb before he runs his inked hand through his freshly dyed, black hair.
“Jay, it‘s okay-”
“Oh, come on, Jong”, Jaemin scoffs and raises one of his eyebrows at your boyfriend, making the tattoo artist tilt his chin even further up as his whole body tenses up in one go, “you know I can go even further, I‘m actually holding myself back because of you.”
“Stop it, you two”, the soft, calming and almost motherly voice of Jihyo, the other female tattoo artist of the studio, cuts through the tension in the right moment and with a soft sigh you let go of your boyfriend‘s shirt and look at her with a little smile.
“I‘m just fucking with you, J-”, “Don‘t. Not when it involves her”, Jay interrupts his friend, pressing the words through gritted teeth as he obviously tries to remain calm.
“Calm down, champ”, Jaemin spits back now as your boyfriend’s behavior obviously seems to irritate him, “we both know I would have fucked her already if I wanted to.”
“Have some respect, you piece of shit”, Jongseong suddenly yells and pushes the brunette away, the sudden action making you gasp in shock and an instant wave of discomfort overwhelm you.
You watch the two of them continue their now slightly physical argument with your heart pounding in your chest and tears pricking at the corners of your eyes the heavier the feeling of your anxiety becomes.
Thousands of thoughts rush through your mind, ideas on how to separate them by yourself and calm at least Jay down only to be quite quick to remember that he hadn‘t even spared you a simple look.
Jungwon and Sunghoon come to pull the two males away from each other; obviously used to their bickerings since they‘ve been friends for so long and even though you want to shrug it off and blame it on your boyfriend‘s short temper and protectiveness, you can‘t help but start crying at the sight of him so angry and upset.
You know it‘s not just because of you; after all it was Jaemin who pushed his buttons. However, you still feel responsible and guilty and in combination with the heaviness on your chest, you can’t hold yourself back anymore. Your body craving him, his presence, his touch and his reassurance in an unbearable way.
With shaky legs you walk up to him, tears streaming down your cheeks as you nervously try to stop yourself from crying too hard.
“Daddy”, you whisper and look up at your boyfriend with teary eye. Jay furrows his brows even more before your voice finally seems to get through the heavy cloud of anger as he takes a deep breath and averts his gaze to meet yours.
It‘s the sight of your tears and the scared expression in your beautiful eyes which pull him back to reality completely.
“Baby”, he replies and takes your face into his inked, ring clad hands, his touch calming you down almost instantly.
You bury your face in the crook of his neck, your arms tightly wrapped around his strong waist as you let yourself enjoy the feeling of safety and security in his embrace.
“It‘s okay, baby”, Jay sighs and places a soft kiss on your temple before he looks at his friend and shakes his head in annoyance, “Daddy‘s got you. I didn‘t mean to scare you, I‘m sorry”, he continues, his eyes never once leaving Jaemin’s who seems to be slightly taken aback by the sudden usage of a word so forbidden yet so powerful.
“She calls him-”, “Yes.”, Jungwon quickly cuts his brunette friend off with an answer, knowing how weird it is to process information like that since he still quite vividly remembers the day he had heard you call Jay ‘daddy’ for the first time.
“I‘m sorry, Y/N”, Jaemin says, “I was being disrespectful and disgusting, I hope you can forgive me.”
You pull away from Jay and turn around to look at the handsome giant, a soft smile on your lips before you simply nod and quietly thank him for his apology.
“Jong-”, “It‘s fine, Nana”, your boyfriend sighs and lets out a tensed chuckle, “I tend to get extra protective and even less patient when someone talks about her”, he explains and lets his eyes roam over your face, enjoying the intensity of your love-filled gaze.
The atmosphere in the studio returns back to normal and comfortable rather quickly, everyone enjoying the joined lunch break while talking about random things.
As usual, you find yourself listening and talking to the girls a little more than to the boys, who are currently busy trying to figure out a bar to go to later and since you‘d rather not hear your boyfriend planning a night out without you, you put your whole focus on Jihyo and Jennifer.
It‘s not that you don‘t want him to have fun or go out with his boys but you know that usually those nights end with him coming home rather drunk and – or high at five in the morning and you can‘t help but get worried.
On top of that you like to get a tiny bit jealous, especially when Jongseong dresses up and goes out looking like a Goddamn runway model.
But the longer you watch the excitement in his eyes grow, the easier it is for you to just let every doubt and worried thought in your head go and be happy for him.
By the time everyone is done eating, the four males are ready to leave; Jaemin apologizes to you yet again before he gives you a soft hug and tells your boyfriend to treat you well.
Jihyo and Jen both welcome their last customers of the day, handing over the front of the shop to you just as usual before you and Jay finally get a bit of time to yourselves.
You can‘t deny just how impatiently you‘ve been waiting for this exact moment. For different reasons Jongie has been coming home a lot later than usual, which wouldn‘t have been a problem if he also didn‘t leave the house way earlier than on his regular days. However, with the new tattoo studio opening soon and him being the most requested artist, he‘s been extra busy and the two of you have barely gotten a minute to yourselves.
You can‘t even remember the last time you‘ve had breakfast with your boyfriend, despite living with him. It took you a lot to get used to him being away from home more, your anxiety using dark and mean thoughts as a weapon to keep you up at night even though you haven‘t been sleeping at all in the past few weeks.
“Thank you for bringing us lunch, baby”, Jay whispers and wraps his strong, tattoo covered arms around your waist, burying his face in the crook of your neck, “I‘ll leave my card to you tomorrow so you can go and get yourself some nice things while I‘m at work, hm?”, he sighs and with an almost audible roll of your eyes you turn around to look at your boyfriend with your lips pressed into a straight line.
“I have my own money, Daddy”, you begin and let your fingers graze over the little metal in his brow as well as the ones on both sides of his nose, “and I keep telling you that you can‘t spend so much on me.”
Jongseong scoffs, tilting his head to the side before he pushes his hands underneath the fabric of your dress and shamelessly starts groping the soft flesh of your ass.
You let out a gasp and look at him with a pout on your lips, loving the way he pulls you even closer to his strong body and easily sends soft jolts of arousal straight into your cunt.
“But now that I actually have the money, I want to spoil you, baby”, he explains to you and is quick to lift you onto the counter, spreading your legs and coming to stand in between them, “let me give you the world.”
“I already have everything I need, Daddy”, you sigh and pull him into a quick, sloppy kiss; the taste of cigarettes and mint quickly capturing your taste buds and making you hum against his lips.
“You‘re so cheesy, baby”, he chuckles; the sound making your smile grow even bigger and it‘s the way the soft brown of his eyes is filled with nothing but love and affection that has you gasping softly.
“But seriously”, Jay mumbles and nudges your nose with his as his eyes flutter shut, “with the new studio opening next month and the new deals settling in, I can finally offer you the life you deserve, my love. Please, let me.”
“No”, you smile and shake your head softly, chuckling at the way your boyfriend dramatically throws his head back with a groan.
“You‘re a hopeless case when it comes to this”, he grunts and sits down on the little chair behind the counter, pushing himself to find his position in between your legs again.
“How is it healing, baby?”, Jongie suddenly says, pushing your thighs even further apart to reveal your clothed cunt to his curious eyes before he lets his fingers graze over the dark lines of your new tattoo.
You shudder at the feeling of him so close to where you‘ve been craving him the whole day.
“I don‘t know”, you whimper and cringe at the feeling of your arousal gushing out of your clenching pussy right into the fabric of your panties, “y-you tell me.”
Jay smirks at your reaction, his eyes roaming the number ‘20’ engraved into the skin at the very top of your inner thigh before a calming jolt of warmth finds its way through his veins at the memory how you had asked him to give you your first tattoo and the meaning behind it.
The smell of your arousal and your squirming easily manages to distract the tattoo artist and you whimper softly when he suddenly presses his face into your clothed cunt.
“Fuck, baby”, Jay groans and pulls your legs over his broad shoulders, “I want to eat this pretty pussy right now, right here. You‘re so fucking ready for me, I don‘t think I can wait any longer.”
“Y-You have two more customers– one of them coming in a few minutes, Daddy”, you whine and pull his face even closer into your pussy.
“Let me just get a quick taste, princess”, he grunts, pulling your panties to the side and revealing your drenched cunt to his hungry eyes, “after all this pussy is mine anyway and I‘m just taking what rightfully belongs to me”, his deep, raspy voice sends vibrations through your body, eliciting another row of moans from you.
Jongseong doesn‘t even hesitate as he pushes his tongue into your tight hole, lapping up every bit of your juices to make sure nothing goes to waste. You subconsciously start moving your hips to meet the movements of his hot muscle, the pleasure easily clouding your mind and leaving you craving for more.
“F-Fuck!”, you whimper and try your best to keep your sounds down, which is basically impossible because of the way he’s fucking you with his strong tongue.
“My baby has the sweetest pussy, f-fuck”, Jay groans into your folds, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as your essence coats his tongue and pushes him deeper and deeper into the haze of his own arousal.
“Daddy, please…”, you beg, not knowing if you‘re asking him to stop or keep going because of the way you slowly but surely are losing yourself in the delicious feeling of pure pleasure.
Jong pulls his head away with a soft moan before he lets a thick drop of spit fall right onto your hot flesh at the same time he pushes one of his fingers into your spasming cunt.
You arch your back, desperately looking for a way to hold onto something, your grip on the edge of the counter painfully tight before your hands find home in his thick hair.
Jay slowly starts thrusting his finger into you, making sure to hit the right spot as he sucks your clit into his mouth and takes in the sound of your little whimpers and high pitched moans.
“I‘m c-cumming…”, you whisper into the air and throw your head back, “s-so close, Daddy.”
You feel your relief creep up your spine, the taste thickly coating the inside of your mouth, you know you only need another thrust of his fingers and the tiniest bit of pressure against your throbbing clit to fall over the edge.
However, as if he had it all planned out, the loud ringing of Jay's phone brutally pulls you out of your lust-filled haze; the sudden lack of any form of stimulation and penetration leaves you completely breathless.
You gasp for air like crazy, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes the more your cunt clenches around nothing and for a good second, a thick black veil falls over your eyes as your body struggles to handle the denial of relief.
“Alright, buddy”, Jay says and pushes his slick coated finger into his mouth, his eyes roaming your helpless form with pure amusement whereas all you do is sob in despair.
You slowly start calming down again, your cries dying down and your body finally finding its balance again after falling into emptiness just like that.
Once you’re all okay again, you get down from the counter, your legs still shaky as you adjust your panties and your little dress before you try to make yourself look a little bit more presentable again.
By the time you‘re not shaking anymore, Jay’s next customer enters the shop; the tall guy‘s face hidden behind a black face mask, soft, black curls falling into his handsome face as he comes to stand in front of the counter.
You shoot him a soft smile, welcoming him calmly and offering him some of the hand sanitizer you like to keep in one of the drawers, which he accepts with literal relief gleaming in his eyes and words of appreciation leaving his lips.
“Hey, Seung”, Jay greets the tall male, nodding at him while trying to stay focused on the things the person on his phone is saying.
The following three hours pass by rather quickly. A couple of customers coming to get new appointments with one of the boys, as well as a few either canceling or postponing the ones they‘ve already had and by the time the last one of the day enters your boyfriend‘s studio, everyone else has left already and you try to kill some time by cleaning up and watching a few videos on Youtube.
Your boyfriend makes sure to give you a quick visit to check if everything‘s fine; a habit he‘s come to develop after some random guys had tried too hard when they realized that you were all alone in the studio a few months ago.
However, nothing like that had happened again after that day and you‘ve been trying to get your boyfriend to be a little more relaxed whenever you took over for the girls.
But you can‘t deny that you‘ve been feeling a little bit more nervous.
After he sends his last customer away, Jay gets comfortable on one of the big chairs, positioning himself right behind you to watch every single one of your movements with hungry eyes.
You love the way you can feel his gaze dripping in arousal and want, the intensity something you‘ve grown oh so used to and have always been obsessed with.
No one has ever made you feel as beautiful and loved as Park Jongseong and that‘s something you won‘t ever take for granted.
However, despite his hungry eyes basically devouring you alive, you still manage to focus on putting all the appointments on the little post-its into the digital as well as the normal calendar, not wanting to fuck up anything.
“Baby”, he suddenly sighs, one of his big, ring clad hands grabbing your thigh before he lets it wander to your waist, “enough of that, want you to come and sit on my cock, please.”
And just like that, you gulp at his words; your whole body slowly starts to heat up the more you think about his delicious request.
“I’ve missed you so much, pretty girl”, Jay continues, pushing his hand underneath your dress for the nth time today before he hooks his thumb into the waistband of your panties and casually pulls the fabric down your legs, “couldn’t stop thinking about you and your perfect pussy, especially after I got to taste you earlier today.”
“P-Please, Daddy”, you choke out, throwing your head back while grinding your cunt against the hard bulge in his leather pants, “need you to fill me up. Want your cum inside of me”, the words leave your lips just like that and even though you’re still consciously present, you’re already way too deep in your heavy haze of pleasure to properly register anything.
“Anything for my pretty girl”, he grunts, taking your chin into his tattooed hands before he pulls it down, making you part your lips and casually letting a thick drop of his spit fall onto your tongue.
As soon as the taste of his saliva coats the hot muscle in your mouth, you grind your cunt even harder against his clothed cock, a high pitched moan falling past your lips.
“So needy for Daddy’s cum, angel girl”, Jay chuckles and leans back to take in just how desperate you seem to be for him and his touch; something he won’t ever get tired of.
You know he’s mocking you, the shit eating grin on his pretty lips and amusement sparkling in the darkness of his eyes giving it away rather easily, yet you still can’t get yourself to be a little less subtle about your arousal.
“No teasing, Daddy”, you pout and look at him with big eyes, your cunt clenching like crazy as your relief slowly but surely climbs up your spine, “been so good for you after all.”
Jong lets out a loud chuckle at your words, the sound making you whimper even louder before you pout harder at him, yet your hips never once halting their movements.
“Don’t fuck with me, angel”, he suddenly hisses and digs his painted nails into the soft skin of your ass, making sure you’re not able to grind even further against him and basically taking away your high from you for the second time today, “no matter how good you’ve been, if I don’t like your behavior, you’re not getting D-D-Daddy’s cock or his cum, you know that”, the mocking of your little stutters has tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you look at him, whispering a soft response of approval.
“But I am going to reward you for being such a good little slut for your Daddy”, Jay sighs and pulls the top of your little dress down to expose your tits to his hungry eyes, “gonna let you choose the position but if you fuck around, I’m gonna put the tip in and cum inside of you without fucking your little hole, understood?”
You’re quick to start nodding like your life’s depending on it, excitement mixing with pleasure inside your veins as you try your best to stay composed.
“Good girl”, your boyfriend grunts with a playful smile on his lips and you know he’s not done teasing you just yet but unfortunately you’re way too far gone to even care; the thought of having his cock fill you up to the brim just how you’ve been craving it, the only thing on your mind.
“From behind, please”, you say, trying your best not to look away yet failing when the last word falls past your lips, “want you to fuck me from behind.”
“Look at my pretty little whore, using her words for me like a big girl”, Jay praises you, followed by a firm spank on your left ass cheek which sends the sweetest jolt of pain through your body and right into your cunt.
“M-More, Daddy, please”, you beg, your body literally craving the mixture of pain and pleasure in a way you simply cannot put into words.
“Sometimes, when you stutter and squirm and whine the way you do, I forget what a cockhungry little slut you are, do you know that?”, he presses through gritted teeth, wrapping his big hand around your throat just when he lands another harsh slap on your skin.
“But then you ask to have your cunt fucked from behind and stuffed full of cum or your cute little ass spanked and I remember just how much of a fucking whore you actually are”, you listen to his words attentively, but the light lack of oxygen makes your head spinning and focusing on him a lot more difficult than expected.
“Only for you, Daddy”, you whisper breathlessly, “only want you to fuck and stuff my pussy, I promise.”
“I sure fucking hope you do, pretty girl”, Jay’s response is harsh and doesn't leave any room for arguments, his strong gaze reflecting his natural possessiveness in response to your words, “because that fucking cunt belongs to me and me only.”
He doesn’t give you the time to respond, pushing you from his lap before he tells you to get into the position you had asked for.
You’re quick to obey his order; the thought of finally feeling him inside of you again overwhelming you in the sweetest way possible.
It’s not like Jongseong hasn’t been fucking you the past few weeks, despite his busy schedule; but for the first time in a while, you don’t have to rush things and you can’t help but get excited.
However, as soon as you get rid of your dress and put yourself back into your original position on all fours, you hear the clicking of his tongue, followed by a deep chuckle which easily sends another jolt of arousal straight through your veins.
“Aren’t you a little too eager to have your cunt stuffed, little one?”, the artist grunts, followed by the delicious sound of his belt being unbuckled and shortly afterwards his chains and pants hitting the cold floor.
“Been waiting all day, Daddy”, you reply softly, your thighs shaking slightly and the feeling of your juices slowly running down your inner thigh becoming uncomfortable the more you start clenching around nothing like crazy.
“I know, baby”, you hear him chuckle coldly, his big, ring clad hand feeling like ice cubes against your heated body as he softly starts groping your ass with his palms, “my cock and cum are all you think about after all, am I right? You sit at home, thinking about getting your little whore-hole ruined all day long, hm?”
You know he’s expecting an answer and you want to give him just that, but the harsh sting from an unexpected spank on your sensitive ass followed by the breathtaking feeling of his tip grazing your spasming hole makes it impossible for you to respond.
“F-Fuck, Daddy…”, you whisper breathlessly, burying your face in your arm and whining when he slowly pushes a little of his tip in, “need you so badly, please just fuck me”, you’re not really sure if he can hear your muffled words but you mumble them regardlessly in hopes of finally getting what you’ve been waiting for.
“Cut the fucking whining, angel girl.” Jong lands another hard spank on your sore ass cheek, the sting making your cunt clench even harder around his sensitive tip and you feel your heart picking up its pace at the sound of his deep groan.
“I’m s-sorry, Daddy..”, you reply, your voice hoarse and still barely audible but no matter how hard you try, the feeling of his tip stretching you out has clouded your brain with a thick haze of want and the disgusting need to feel more.
“You’re s-s-sorry, huh? If you’re that fucking sorry then why is your sloppy little cunt clenching like that, princess?”, Jong presses through gritted teeth, his thick fingers find their way around your throat before he pulls you flush against his chest.
And at the feeling of his cock slipping out of you, a row of whimpers and whines falls past your lips; your body craving the feeling of being filled without even getting a proper taste.
Jongseong, however, can’t help but chuckle at you.
The vibrations of his chest and the comforting yet humiliating sound of his laughter has tears pricking at the corners of your eyes and as you wrap your fingers around his tattooed wrist, you subconsciously start moving your hips in hopes of getting some kind of stimulation.
“I asked you a fucking question, you desperate cockwhore”, Jay spits, tigheting his grip around your throat before he lifts his other hand and harshly spanks your sopping wet cunt; the metal of his rings hitting your clit in just the right way.
The delicious combination of pain and pleasure elicit a loud sob from you, the first few tears finding their way down your cheeks.
“And now you’re crying? Oh, goodness-”, he scoffs, rolling his eyes and letting you go to watch you fall back onto the couch, burying your face in one of the pillows.
“D-Daddy..”, you manage to lift your head up, sobbing and whimpering when you finally realize the lack of his touch, “please, fuck me. I’m n-nothing but a stupid little whore for you.”
You can sense his next move coming, you can see the way he lifts his arm from the corner of your eye, yet the second Jay's big palm meets the sore skin of your ass, you still can’t prepare your body for the beautiful pain it comes with.
A loud mewl leaves your lips, your hands gripping the pillow underneath you even tighter as your cunt spasms in response to the pain you’re so familiar with.
“You’re such a fucking crybaby”, Jay replies, his voice even deeper than before, building a bittersweet contrast to the way he’s caressing your burning skin oh so softly, “you know what I do to slutty little crybabies, don’t you, baby?”
And suddenly, at his words, you feel a cold shiver run down your spine and without even missing a beat, you get yourself to stand on your knees, trying your best to look back at him with tears blurring your sight.
“No-”, you whimper, your heart thrumming in your throat when you turn around and take the soft fabric of Jay’s shirt into your fists, “no, no, no, no- please, Daddy- I want more than the tip. I promise I’m gonna be a good girl- gonna stop being a crybaby”, you don’t really know what you’re saying, the thought of being denied takes up every bit of your rational thinking.
You look up at Jongseong with big, tear filled eyes, your breath hitching in your throat as you try your best to stay composed and be good for him but as soon as his pretty lips stretch into a teasing smirk, you can’t help but let out another sob because you know what’s about to happen.
“God, you’re so fucking pathetic, did you know that?”, without missing another moment, you start nodding, your cunt spadming in despair every single time his cock twitches right against your tummy.
Jong’s sudden grip on your face has you gasping for air, your eyes rolling into the back of your head, “you love being treated like this, don’t you? You love it when your precious, precious D-Daddy plays with you like the fucking toy you are, don’t you?”, you struggle to comprehend every single one of his degrading words but just the tone of derogatory in his deep voice pushes you deeper into the sweet haze of submission.
You look up at him, the sudden urge to get the familiar sense of reassurance from his pretty eyes overwhelming you and as soon as his gaze finds yours, you smile softly when you’re met with just what you were longing for.
His soft eyes are still filled with the same warmth and love you’re oh so used to and you feel yourself calming down even further, despite all the mean things he’s been saying to you.
“Mhm”, you hum and feel your lids grow heavier, “of course I love being treated like this, Daddy. You always fuck me so well- how could I not?”, your reply is calm and from the way you’re looking at him, Jay can tell that he’s got you right where he wanted you.
“Oh? So you do remember how to use your manners, baby? That’s good because I really wasn’t feeling like fucking some into your bratty brain”, he grunts and rubs his cock against your cunt, making sure to not touch your little clit at all before he moves to position himself in between your thighs.
“Spit”, is the only thing you manage to reply with as your brain only comprehends the way your boyfriend runs his tongue over his plump lips, a sheer layer of saliva coating the skin in the most alluring way possible, “please, Daddy- want it so bad.”
Jay cocks his head to the side, stilling the subtle movements of his hips before he tightens his grip on your chin again, pulling you even closer to his handsome, flushed face.
“At least you’re asking properly for it now”, he growls, his dark eyes attentively roaming your fucked out expression, “but this is the last thing you’re gonna get, princess. It’s not like you’ve been anything but a needy little crybaby to deserve any more than this.”
His words echo in your head and you feel your juices ooze out of your sensitive cunt, sending shivers down your spine before you mumble a quick response of gratitude and part your lips in anticipation.
You whimper almost instantly at the way his saliva coats the hot muscle yet again, your lids fluttering shut and just when you’re about to close your mouth, he lets another thick drop of spit fall right onto the back of your tongue.
He doesn’t give you a second to swallow properly, just eagerly pulling you into a sloppy kiss, groaning and moaning into your mouth like a man gone mad.
“Enough of this”, Jay suddenly growls, running a tattoo clad hand through his messy curls as he pulls away, “turn around and get on all fours, now. If you make me wait any longer you won’t get a drop of my cum- got it?”
You’re quick to obey, nodding at his words, doing as you’re told and getting into your original position from earlier with your cunt spasming in excitement.
“Please, D-Daddy”, you whimper and bury your face in the pillow, your whole body tensing up at the feeling of his leaking tip lining up with your entrance, “fuck your baby into my belly- I need it so bad.”
Those are the words which elicit the deepest, almost animalistic groan from Jay as the thought of stuffing you with his cum to the point where it’s impossible for you to not be pregnant cloud his brain.
“Fuck, baby”, he moans and slowly pushes into your tiny cunt; the stretch from his impressive size, especially in girth, should be something you’re already used to yet you still find yourself gasping for air before he’s even halfway inside of you.
You don’t even realize how close you are until you feel Jay grazing your sweetest spot deep inside of you for just a mere second and that’s the moment you start begging.
Usually he loves to hear you beg; his only goal is to have you a sobbing, begging and cum stuffed little mess on most nights.
But not this time.
He simply ignores the row of begs and pleas falling past your lips like a goddamn mantra; the feeling of your tight walls gripping his hard cock in just the right way easily becomes the only thing on his mind.
Jay doesn’t give you time to adjust to his size; not when you’re both this worked up because he knows you can take that little sting and the pinches of pain from your pussy being stretched out. He makes sure to set a fast, merciless rhythm from the very beginning; pulling his cock all the way out of your tiny hole just to quickly ram it all the way back inside with one thrust. The emptiness of the studio is filled with the lewd noises of skin meeting skin, deep grunts and muffled whimpers as well as a few sobbed out pleas every now and it doesn’t take long for either of you to get drunk on the atmosphere those exact noises seemed to create.
“There you fucking go, pretty girl”, your boyfriend groans, burying his cock deeper and harder into your sensitive hole, shoving your face even further into the pillow with each thrust and easily pushing as close to the edge as possible.
“I’m gonna stuff you full of my fucking cum”, he continues when all you manage to respond with are a bunch of sobs and high pitched, muffled moans, “gotta make sure you are nicely bred, right?”
You start nodding like crazy before Jongie easily manhandles you, lifting you up to have you flush against his chest yet again, his thrusts never once slowing down as he buries his teeth in the sensitive skin of your neck and tightens his grip on the flesh of your hips.
You feel yourself getting closer with every second passing by, your clit throbbing as you lose yourself in the delicious feeling of being stuffed so, so full by the one you love oh so much and you know he’s just as close as you are. His sloppy thrusts, heavy breathing and increasing moans giving him away just as usual.
“Daddy”, you sob, tears streaming down your spit and drool stained face, leaving a burning trail behind as they find their way down your neck, “so close – fuck – please...make me cum. I need it so bad-”, your words are slurred, barely coherent and you have no idea if you even said or just thought them but once your boyfriend wraps his pretty, ring and tattoo clad hand around your neck while the other one moves in between your legs to rub your clit, you know he understood every single one of them.
“Come on then, angel”, he presses through gritted teeth, tightening his grip around your throat to make you gasp for air as the pleasure slowly becomes overwhelming right when you’re about to cum.“I want you to cum all over my cock so I can fill you up. And since we both want the whole world to see who the fuck you belong to I have make sure you’re pregnant by the time I’m done with you, right baby?”
“Yes, D-Daddy... mhm, yes yes yes-”, your whimpers grow louder and louder every time Jay hits your sweet spot with his big cock, the tip grazing the entrance to your womb in the best way possible.
“That’s my good...fuck-”, he groans in response, not able to finish his praise.
And just when you’re about to cum, he tightens his grip on your waist, his fingers rubbing harsh circles into your clit and pushing his cock as deep as possible into your tight cunt with one last, sloppy yet hard thrust before the feeling of his cock twitching inside of you finally pushes you over the edge.
The waves of your high break down onto you in the best yet most suffocating way possible and if it wasn’t for Jay’s perfect timing, you would have passed out from being overwhelmed like this. For a good second everything around you disappears in a complete blur and you feel yourself getting more and more lightheaded; your cunt clenching and creaming around your boyfriend’s cock as you start sobbing even harder.
You have no idea what either of you are saying; Jay’s praises and words of encouragement as well as reassurance passing by without your brain getting a single chance to proceed the meaning of them yet you still manage to snap back into reality right when he cums inside of your tight cunt with a row of loud moans falling past his lips.
He buries his face in your neck, lazily thrusting his cock into you to make sure not one drop of his precious cum goes to waste and you can’t help but whimper at the feeling of being stuffed to the brim.
You have no idea how much time passes; both of you way too busy to calm down and catch your breaths, Jongie firmly holding you in his arms and keeping his cock buried inside of your tight cunt because he doesn’t want to make a mess.
The last thing he wants or needs is another lecture from Jen about why fucking in the studio is a no-go.
“Baby”, he suddenly whispers, his voice still raspy and hoarse, “wanna get dressed and cleaned so we can head home? Wanna spoil my pretty girl with a nice bath, some wine and movies?”
You can’t even giggle as the exhaustion takes over every bit of your being, a gentle smile tugging at the corners of your lips before you let out a hum of approval, placing a sweet kiss on his palm.
“You can take a nap while I bathe you but I wanna fuck you all night, baby...feels like I haven’t stuffed you in weeks”, Jongseong casually adds and lets go of your upper body, gently helping you to lay on the couch again; his big hands constantly caressing the sore skin of your ass.
“Don’t pull out..”, you whimper, not quite ready to feel empty just yet, “let’s stay like this for a little longer, please.”
“My good girl…”, Jay sighs softly, his eyes attentively roaming over your fucked out figure, focusing the way your lips are pushed into a pout, “how about this: I’m gonna pull out now and then I’ll have you cockwarm me all night, hm? Wanna take you home, pretty girl. ’s way cozier anyway.”
“But-”
However – you don’t get to finish that sentence.
The loud knocks on the front door of the shop easily startling the both of you, Jay almost automatically digging his nails into your ass as his head shoots to look at whoever the hell is trying to come inside at this time of the day.
“Jong? Y/N? Are you guys- Oh, my God”, as soon as the sound of Jake Sim’s voice finds your ears, you both let out a loud groan, your eyes rolling into the back of your head before you chuckle at just how dramatic he’s being.
Jay doesn’t immediately reply to his best friend, his hands gently caressing your ass before he lets you know that he’s about to pull out, eliciting a row of hisses from the two of you as he does just that.
He’s quick to turn you on your back, pulling you into a deep kiss and then getting himself dressed again.
You hear Jake’s ranting from outside, two more voices joining in not long after and it doesn’t take you long to figure out that Sunghoon and Jungwon are with him too.
“Park Jongseong, open the fucking-”, “Shut the fuck up, I gotta get her dressed, you piece of human garbage”, your boyfriend eventully spits back at his best friend, quickly growing tired of his whining.
You don’t really know how long it takes Jay to put you back into your little panties and your dress, your head still cloudy and eyes feeling extra heavy from exhaustion.
The next thing you know is a soft kiss on your forehead, followed by the sound of keys turning in a door and loud, deep voices filling the emptiness of the studio.
“You did it on the...couch? First the counter, then the bathroom, then the office and now the couch? I fucking hate you two”, Sunghoon’s gentle voice is filled with a mixture of disgust, mockery and humor yet easily gives away that he’s not fully serious.
“What the fuck do you guys want?”, Jay just replies, rolling his eyes at the sight of Jake putting his hands on his hips and shaking his head in disappointment.
“I forgot my phone in the office and we were gonna have drinks at the bar around the corner”, Jungwon explains calmly, his eyes finding your fucked out figure on the couch before he chuckles and winks at you before looking back at Jay.
“Great job, Ace”, he chuckles deeply before giving your boyfriend a quick fistbump only to have Jake interrupt them.
“I will tell Jihyo everything, I don’t give a fuck. You deserve her lectures-”, he says and eventually averts his strong gaze from Jay to you.
“Finally”, the blonde groans and lifts his hand to give you a high five before he runs his tattoo clad fingers through his hair, “you’ve been getting way too desperate, best friend. You really needed this.”
#enhypen smut#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#park jongseong smut#enhypen jay smut#jay park x reader#enhypen x reader#park jongseong x reader#enhypen writers
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Ngl the concept of natural talent has done so much harm to our relationship to art and I hate it. No one is naturally talented at anything, get that idea out of your head. Artists are not like, special or gifted or blessed or whatever, we're just people who like art enough to keep making it, and thus there is nothing stopping you or anyone else from making art. You were not born without the artist gene and thus doomed to never find joy in drawing or singing or acting or sculpting, you're a person and people have ALWAYS made art.
It just like, it fucking kills me so much every single time I hear someone say that they would love to draw but they're just "naturally bad" at it and so they can't, especially when they then contrast themselves against me and imply I have some natural talent that means I can be an artist because no!! I don't!! The only reason I'm "good" at drawing is bcs I never stopped. I picked up a crayon as a baby and I never put it down and so I have like 27 years of experience drawing, that's why I'm "good" at it. So please trust me when I say anyone can draw. And cook. And paint and sing and act and dance. You were not born lacking, you're just new to it! You just have to keep going, you'll get better!
I just...it's so fucking heartbreaking to constantly hear the people around me essentually claim that they were born incomplete and thus they can never have fun drawing or singing or just making art. That's a horrible thing to believe, and I know our society does nothing but reinforce it by punishing us for not being perfect and making a mockery of amatures and pushing the talent myth, but trust me, you were not born wrong. There is no "make art gene" that you're missing. As cheesy as it sounds, you actually can learn to do almost anything if you put your mind to it. It might not be easy, but you are not broken. You're just learning.
I've posted this before but I'll post it again bcs he's right:
Making art is human. You can make art. Hell, you can make bad art! You don't have to improve! Art isn't about good or bad, it's about partaking in a human activity because it makes us happy. I really think society would be a better place if everyone was allowed to make as much art as they want, good or bad, bcs this weird dual reverence for talent and disregard for the actual work that goes into art just serves to bolster the capitalist, AI ridden hellscape that we live in today.
Anyway, if you are one of those people who is holding back from trying some kind of art bcs you're not talented, do me the favor of trying again. I want to see all of the beautiful, earnest, imperfect art my fellow humans make. We need that now, honestly. So please, don't give up. Make art. And if you can't, well, at least try to support the people around you who do, even if they aren't churning out masterpieces. Trust me, it's good for you. It's good for all of us.
#sorry time for my usual “you can make art actually yes you I'm not kidding” rant#art advice#writing advice
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All Bark and No Bite : Meet the pack
Helloooooo! Welcome to my new series titled All Bark and No Bite. Before the series officially begins I want to give a quick overview of the SKZ pack members and their roles within the pack! This is how I view the pack dynamics working and my own personal thoughts. I have sorted them based on where I think they would fall. I have also included what tendencies I think some of them would have. I am also including a small background for the story. Please let me know your thoughts as well! I’d love to discuss :)
Disclaimer: The names and faces used here are just that, names and faces, and in no way reflect the real people the characters were designed after. The views and actions of these characters do not reflect the real Stray Kids in any way shape or form. This is all for fun let’s keep it that way please.
My content is always for 18+ ONLY. If you are not 18+ please see yourselves out thanks
Background info: This story takes place in an alternate universe where people eventually present as one of three presentations: Alpha, beta and omega. Omegas are incredibly rare and many people have never even seen an omega in their lives. The new tradition is if an alpha does get an omega then that Omega does become the packs, though they will mainly ‘belong’ to the main alpha of the pack. Due to the submissive nature of the omegas this has turned many alphas and betas very misogynistic.
Next Series masterlist Masterlist
Bang Chan aka Chris -Pack Main Alpha
Chris is the head alpha of the SKZ pack. He is strong willed and carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. Head of the pack and also unofficial head of the neighboring town has taken its toll on Chan mentally and emotionally. He is known as a strong leader who would and has done anything to protect his people. Other packs have heard of him and know better than to challenge him… Mostly anyways. The stupid few usually don’t make it home after coming for Chan. He is used to obedience and expects it in all aspects.
Lee Minho -Beta
Minho can be hard to read sometimes, he gives off such a serious vibe but once you get to know him and how he interacts with the pack it’s clear he really cares for them. Minho is very blunt and will tell you exactly how he sees it. Even though he’s a beta he is still Chan's second in command in the pack. Minho is often there to remind Chan that he’s allowed to be a human and not a machine. Main cook for the pack.
Seo Changbin -Alpha
The main muscle (other than chan) of the pack. He takes pride in his strength and his ability to protect the pack as well as offer a shoulder to cry on. Changbin is often the one the pack goes too when they are down and just need a hug. According to them he gives the best hugs. Also really good for a laugh as he never stops joking around.
Hwang Hyunjin -Beta
Hyunjin is a true romantic through and through. When he’s not helping out at home with the pack you could usually find him painting out in a field somewhere or in town helping the townsfolk. He can often be found running errands for the elderly in town. He is a true artist and loves to do portraits of his fellow pack mates.
Han Jisung -Beta with Omega tendencies
Precious Hannie, always so helpful and supportive. It was a surprise to his family he didn’t present as an omega growing up given how submissive he can be. He just wants to please the people he cares about! He can be a little introverted and shy around new people but once he warms up to you he never stops talking or joking around. Sunshine boy :)
Lee Felix -Beta Omega tendencies
Felix is another ray of sunshine for the pack. He is very dainty like a fairy and dances around like one too, despite his deep voice! His bubbly personality is contagious and anyone he meets is enamored by him. He can often be found in the kitchen baking during the day and singing along to whatever song is stuck in his head. Sometimes the pack wonders how he didn’t end up an omega.
Kim Seungmin -Beta with Alpha tendencies
This boy is very smart and is one of Chan's right hand men in the pack. He pays attention better than anyone else to small details and is good with strategy. He can come off as aloof and rude when you don’t know him yet, but once his shell is broken through he is actually a very caring person. He always tries to do right by his pack and would stop at nothing to protect them.
Yang Jeongin -Alpha
The youngest member of the pack and newest to present as an Alpha. He is very easy going and doesn’t have many responsibilities yet as he’s still trying to find himself as an alpha. He really looks up to the other members, especially Chan as he is a prime example of who Jeongin wants to become. The least experienced of the pack. One thing about him is he is very quick on his feet and even though he is young he knows he would die for the pack’s safety.
If you got this far thank you :') I am not the best writer but I do enjoy it and hope you do too!
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Taglist
@ihrtlix
#stray kids#stray kids x reader#straykids abo#skz smut#stray kids smut#bang chan#lee know#han jisung#changbin#jeongin#felix lee#seungmin#hyunjin
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♡ slashers scenarios | may i have this dance?
♡ fandoms; Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original + 2006), House of Wax, The Boy, Dead by Daylight, slashers (general)
♡ characters; Micheal Myers, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Vincent Sinclair, Brahms Heelshire
♡ reader; gender neutral
♡cw; none really!!
♡notes; this popped into my brain the other day and i thought we were due for some fluff. i’m writing part two congruently so that’ll be posted soon too!!
•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•
Micheal Myers
> Micheal Myers does not dance
> He doesn’t know how, and he doesn’t want to learn
> But like with a lot of things, you get him to bend his rules
> He has a habit of looming in doorways to watch you
> At first it’s disconcerting, but you learn it’s just how he is
> So you pay him no mind as he’s watching you dance around the kitchen to some song that’s too popular for him to know
> Sweet and silly and carefree…
> He clicks the speaker off with a quiet huff
> “Hey, I was listening to that-“ You pout
> He rolls his eyes and puts on something a bit more to his taste
> And before you can playfully complain any more, he wraps his arms around you from behind and sways softly
> It takes a second for you to process it- he’s not normally so…gentle
> But in his own weird little way, he’s dancing with you
> He tenses a bit when you turn around- he’s embarrassed but would never admit it- but when you kiss his cheek he relaxes and gives a quiet hum
>And he keeps swaying as you lay your head on his chest
>Just for you, as long as you don’t tell anyone…Micheal Myers does dance. Just a little.
Thomas Hewitt
> Thomas doesn’t think about dancing
> He’s seen it on TV, read about it in books…but the Hewitts aren’t really the dancing types
> Nearest thing to dancing that he can think of ever doing is being held by his mama, when she’d sing and rock him when he was hurt or upset
> And it’s been a long time since anyone could hold him like that
> But one day you’re upset- he doesn’t know why but you burst into tears the moment he walked in, and it has him in a tizzy
> He quickly scoops you up, checking for any injuries but…nothing. You’re just crying and he hates seeing you like that
> So he does what used to make him feel better
> He can’t sing- or at least won’t, his words are always few and far between- but he hums, low and rumbling in his chest
> As he holds you and slowly sways you start to calm down
> You sniffle and all of the sudden giggle
> “Thomas Hewitt; are you dancin’ with me right now?”
> He looks confused but slowly nods as he thinks about it
> “Well thank you. I needed this.”
> He nuzzles you and continues until you’re calm- and far after that if you’ll let him
Bubba Sawyer
> As we know, Bubba is a very sheltered fellow, but he does like dancing!
> He’s not particularly coordinated but he doesn’t need much coaxing to twirl you around and around
> He’ll dance without music, humming a nonsense tune to you, maybe even whistling
> And if you sing to him he can’t help grinning and giggling
> It’s not uncommon for him to sway and spin with you in the living room if the radio got left on
> And he gets shy when you’re caught by one of his brothers
> “Bubba you stop wasting time, you little—“
> You cock your hip and give Drayton a cold look
> “Oh, I’m a waste of time now, cook?”
> Like always a smart remark goes a long way with Drayton, the twins immediately “oooh”ing and teasing him as he flusters
> Soon enough he’s chasing them out cursing and wielding a pair of tongs
> Leaving you and Bubba forgotten and free to sneak off and continue your fun in peace
Vincent Sinclair
> You’d have to ask
> Probably more than once, honestly
> Vincent is an artistic man, that’s not a doubt in the slightest- but he’s not even a little interested in anything that involves performance
> But you have a way of getting your way with him
> “Vince baby?”
> “…”
> “Pretty please?”
> “…”
> “If we take pictures then you can paint us.”
> He perks up a bit and you know you’ve got him
> “Cmon silly!” You drag him into the house of Wax, camcorder in hand
> Having gotten that far, you finally realize you don’t particularly know how to dance either, not really
> But you don’t tell him that, instead turning on the music and pulling him against you
> You’re clumsy and awkward and adorable as you spin around with him, not even a bit embarrassed
> He isn’t sure the reference stills are usable, but he’s more than happy the sweet moment on camera
Brahms Heelshire
> Brahms treats you like royalty- whatever you want is yours
> So if you say you’d like to go dancing, he is more than happy to arrange something
> Though of course, he doesn’t like leaving home… no matter. There’s plenty of room in the manor
> He makes a date out of it- he’s prone to making dates out of lots of silly things
> Silly or not, it’s sweet, and as always you fawn over him and praise him for the thoughtfulness
> He even bought you a cute outfit for the occasion - he loves dolling you up (pun slightly intended)
> After setting the music he bows and offers his hand- being a rich brat he knows a bit of ballroom dancing
> He’s more than happy to teach you, humming “1-2-3” with your steps
> But he’s laughing and giggling and just can’t stop gushing over how cute you are
> So if you fall into slow dancing like it’s the prom, he doesn’t mind
> Any dance with you is more than he can ask for
#slashers#slashers x reader#slashers x you#tcm#thomas hewitt#house of wax#bubba sawyer x reader#vincent sinclair x reader#halloween#micheal myers x reader#texas chainsaw the beginning#texas chainsaw massacre#the boy#dead by daylight#brahms heelsire x reader#thomas hewitt x reader#vincent sinclair
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Since my brain has been full of SVSSS brainrot lately:
I want a fic where the transmigration mostly fails and Shen Jiu wakes up from his qi deviation as User002 with the goddamn System treating him like he is Shen Yuan. Trashy yellow book what??? No, he doesn't need stats on his fellow peak lords, if he is supposed to follow a plot then he wants to see the script! You wretched floating rectangle, how is he supposed to play along if he doesn't know the source material?!
The stress of having what feels like a very pushy curse or an insanely weird demon inflicted upon him makes him deviate from some minor plot points and he gets punished for being OOC a couple of times until the System takes pity on him and directs him to Airplane bro, with the very clear suggestion that if he can't remember the early arcs of the story - System understands, User! It's very long after all. UwU - he should go and discuss it with the author.
He basically kicks down Shang Qinghua's door in desperation for some clarity and maybe an explanation, right now before he works himself into a stress-induced qi deviation, Shang-shidi. Shang hamster looks at his miserable scum villain, takes a deep breath, brings out all of Shen Qingqiu's favorite snacks that nobody should know about, makes a pot of calming tea and tells him everything.
Shang Qinghua expects Shen Qingqiu to be angry, to rip into him for writing him into this wretched life. And Shen Jiu is angry, but not at Qinghua. His anxious, mousy little shidi who lives his entire life under the looming threat of a horrible, seemingly unchangeable future doesn't look like a god. Shang Qinghua, who does his best to run his peak well and look out for his disciples despite his admittance that in the story the original Qinghua did a shoddy job - he doesn't look like someone who would have put pen to paper and written a tragedy if he knew it would become someone's reality.
And how could Shen Jiu, who has seen people sell their bodies and their very dignity for a cup of stale water, judge someone for writing a very bad yellow book so he can eat? Please. Peak Lord Shen might have developed a very discerning taste in literature over the years, but you can't fill your stomach with artistic integrity, Shang-shidi. Shen Jiu understands.
So they sit and for that first evening, Shen Qingqiu listens to all the differences creeping into the story, Shang Qinghua's retelling of the drafts he abandoned due to peer pressure, the long rambling tangents of the research he's done, even if they never made it into the story. Qinghua is so caught up in having someone to talk to that he doesn't realize that Shen Qingqiu put everything that happened to Qi-ge together, somewhere between the musings about how a sword inspired by kintsugi would be so cool looking, shame that nobody ever sees the thing, and the griping about how much one of his patrons complained about Yue Qingyuan dying without ever drawing his sword.
Later, when the snacks are gone and the tea is replaced with something stronger, he tells Shen Qingqiu about the stories he really wanted to write. About how he shamefully sneaked his dream man into PIDW, just so he could have some small part to himself, and oh, Shen Qingqiu will have to remind him about demon courting practices when they are both sober again, because it sounds like that Mobei prince is down bad for him.
He leaves that night with a newfound determination. Shang Qinghua might be resigned to the whims of his System and the shackles of the Plot, but Shen Jiu didn't burn the Qiu manor down and break his chains to give up so easily. This is his world, his sect, his Qi-ge on the line, and he would sooner wrest control from the System and become custodian of the world himself than let something take away and ruin what is his. He is the strategist of Cang Qiong Sect, there is no situation he can't think a way out of and he has had enough of tragedies.
Before any of that, however, he needs to go and have a good yell at his Qi-ge, smack his stupid face and then curl up in his arms for a good night's sleep. It's long overdue.
#svsss#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#shang qinghua#that last bit can be read as qijiu or platonic#but I'm personally very partial to qijiu. they just have so much tasty tasty tragedy to sink your teeth into#sqq fixing the world by directing his anger at the right thing for once? more likely than you'd think#idk how they would deal with all the binghe related nonsense but sqq is nothing if not resourceful#tc writes
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Love in Color
Benedict Bridgerton x Reader (Female)
Warnings: None :)
Genre: Rivals/Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Romance
Summary: Nothing speaks to the soul quite like expressive art. Or maybe the even more expressive artist behind it.
The spring breeze wafts in through the open windows of the small room, curling the curtains to its will. The pleasant smell of freshly bloomed flowers lingers in the air although one could hardly sense it over the suffocating tension that's settled in the room ever since Benedict entered to find Y/N already in there.
Although not a word was exchanged between the two, just her gaze was more than enough to let him know she'd rather be anywhere but in the same room as him. Still, her stubbornness overpowered her distaste for her fellow up-and-coming artist and she remained seated even after Benedict decided to make himself comfortable in front of the canvas farthest across the room from the one she'd taken up.
They are just a couple months away from the mandatory presentations of their final pieces and not a single artist in The Academy can rest easy until they perfect their art. Some have approached the situation as much more dire than others would perceive it but that is simply the burden the so-called greats have to carry.
Y/N and Benedict are prime examples of those artists.
For the amount of disagreements and stubbornness that resides between them, it's quite the miracle they are so alike in nature. And, dare I say, in talent as well. Of course, artists and their art are not meant to be compared but you could never miss the similarities. Not in their pieces, per se, but their personalities.
Competition comes in conjunction with the acceptance letter to The Academy. It comes as no surprise that this place is not exactly a breeding ground for friendships but this headbutting between these two exceeds all limits.
"I sure hope that is mere practice." The mockery in Benedict's voice almost makes Y/N's eye twitch as it echoes off the walls of the silent drawing atelier.
He'd been keeping a watchful eye on her work this whole time, even sacrificing a few important brushstrokes due to his divided attention. Good thing this is just a perfecting attempt on his understanding of anatomy, otherwise he'd be far more upset.
She's become well versed in his game by now. He simply cannot withstand the thought of being in her vicinity without provoking her in one way or another. Although she knows better than to feed into his entertainment, she'd also rather pour ink over a canvas of hard work than take his teasing laying down.
"Very like you to not be able to distinguish practice form a developed piece, Bridgerton." The bite to her words is not at all softened by her leveled tone. If anything it packs that much more of a punch.
One that provokes a smile from Benedict.
"I fail to see how that is my fault. You clearly have made very little effort with this piece but the same could be said for many of your previous ones." He's in no way sincere. In fact, he is openly lying on a dime. He adores her art. All games and personal biases aside, as someone with a distinguished taste in art with a high standard for beauty, he cannot, in good conscience, say her art isn't exceptional.
"Paying more attention to my art than your own, are you?" She doesn't bother turning her head his way, offering him nothing more than a view of her side profile.
"Nothing worth of my attention." He muses, almost forgetting the stool has no backrest as he leans back, catching himself just in time to not topple over and give her the satisfaction she most definitely would've held over his head till the end of time.
She hums knowingly, almost humorously, "That misshapen attempt you have over there says otherwise." She isn't far off the mark. His gaze has been more entranced on each brushstroke of her hand rather than his own. He's missed far more marks than he'd like to admit.
She has him there. But Benedict Bridgerton is nothing if not quick on his feet, "That is certainly one way to admit you are unfamiliar with abstract art. How embarrassing on your part."
A scoff parts Y/N's lips, her head finally snapping in his direction, their eyes meeting with a fiery flare. The tension is so potent a flick of a lighter and the room could be set ablaze.
The temperature only keeps rising when she stands up from her chair, crossing the distance between her canvas and his with three long strides as she comes to stand beside him. Sweat beads form on the back of his neck as a chill rushes down his spine. It is a common reaction his body exhibits whenever her proximity breaches the limitations of scandalous.
They're alone. Unchaperoned. Too close to keep the ton's mouths shut if they were to be seen.
His hand comes up to tug at the collar of his shirt in desperate need for more breathing room. He unbuttons the top button on instinct only to realize how inappropriately the action could be perceived. To his relief, Y/N doesn't seem to notice or care. In fact, she's incredibly disinterested in him at this moment, instead offering her whole attention to the painting in progress.
"Abstract, you say?" She muses, reaching down to toy with one of the paint brushes laying in a small blue pain puddle on the palette. "Allow me to fix it for you."
Before Benedict has even had time to process her words, with a swift snap of her wrist the canvas has now been unflatteringly stained with a blue splatter across it that makes his jaw drop.
"You vixen...." He mutters, eyes wide in absolute bewilderment as he watches the splatter drip paint down below it, coating the previously warmly colored drawing with blue streaks.
"My most sincere apologies, Mr. Bridgerton." The faux remorse in her voice raises his blood pressure a whole lot higher, causing him to gulp down his frustration. "It appears I really lack the understanding necessary for abstract art." If looks could kill, she'd be dead. But that glare, that very glare right there provides her such entertainment.
Having expressed her remorse, she slyly goes to make her way out of the atelier, hoping for a celebratory cigarette outside in the garden now that darkness has enveloped the horizon. However...
Before she has even made it halfway to the door, the loud thunder of quick footsteps shake the walls and marble floor. She's barely had time to turn around to witness the most childish retaliation of all time - Benedict has resorted to smearing the entire palette of colors on Y/N's canvas.
I believe this is an appropriate time to mention that they are both aware of how ridiculous this is. It's not even about the pieces, they were mere attempts. Practice pieces, if you will. It's not about them whatsoever. It's the principle. The disrespect, the mockery.
The need to retaliate for every small comments and remark has now become war, fighting fire with fire. Or rather paint with paint.
With redness clouding her vision and practically all rationale having left her mind, Y/N reaches over to grab the small bottle of ink on the professor's desk. A couple steps later and she's dowsing the canvas with it. She hasn't finished spilling the bottle when a hand engulfs her wrist. In a futile attempt to put an end to her offense and save what's left of his painting's dignity - not much, to be honest - Benedict moves her hand, redirecting the stream of ink so now it splashes on them.
His white shirt and her silver dress are now a quarter black in the front.
That realization brings on a brief moment of peace and silence. No movement, no sound. They're just staring at each other in complete and utter disbelief.
A beat later, they burst out into laughter.
"Oh now you're getting it." He warns her, his words breaking them away from one another like opposite charges of a magnet.
They both hurry to arm themselves with paint they can smear on the other but Y/N unfortunately is beaten to it. She's still in the process of gathering ammo when something cold hits the exposed skin of her upper back.
"Purple goes rather well with your dress." His comment boils her blood, making her immune to the cold paint she's now coated with and fueling her into counterattack resulting in red paint drowning out whatever white parts were left on his button-up. She even got a good splatter on his cheek.
Her cocky smirk speaks volumes as she observes her latest art piece, "Red brings out the color of your eyes quite nicely."
Although he's acutely aware of her comment being nothing more than a tease - as is she in her entirety - he can't help the way the breath was knocked out of him
"Is that so?" He muses, slowly crossing the distance between them as if taunting her to run away.
She doesn't. She doesn't move an inch from her spot, instead crossing her arms over her chest as she hums an affirmation that doesn't even fully leave her lips before they're engulfed by his.
If he was worried about their earlier proximity being considered scandalous, he's clearly lost all rationality now considering their bodies are practically molding together, paint-stained hands roaming previously unexplored territory, fingers tangling in each other's hair, exhales mingling in a single breath.
Suddenly, neither of them seems to mind the mess they've made of themselves. They've been wreaking havoc on the other's composure since the day they met, a couple ruined garments and canvases is nothing.
Some things are so much sweeter when you're not supposed to want them, let alone have them. Taking them despite potential repercussions is a thrill that can't match a single high. So, scandals and the ton be damned, he's taking her. Here and now. Paint and all.
* * * * *
The following morning, upon returning to her room from a lecture she cannot remember whatsoever, Y/N finds quite the surprise awaiting her.
~ Forgive me for ruining your dashing gown, Miss L/N. I unfortunately never got to tell you how greatly I like seeing you in it before I ruined it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't redeem my actions. So, I beg of you to accept this gesture as both a peace and courtship offering. ~
~ Benedict ~
She rereads the note atop the gown laying on her bed at least three times before she realizes she's smiling and blushing - a reaction she would've condemned herself for just twenty four hours ago. Now, with the, um, new developments, being taken into consideration, she allows herself to revel in this unfamiliar feeling that has filled her with a sense of joyful giddiness she can't recall ever feeling before.
As she falls onto her bed, still grinning from ear to ear, she allows her mind to toy with the idea of giving this offered courtship a chance.
After all, no one has ever brought so much color to her life quite like Benedict Bridgerton.
#benedict bridgerton#bridgerton#benedict bridgerton x reader#benedict bridgerton fanfiction#benedict bridgerton imagine#benedict bridgerton smut#benedict bridgerton x you#benedict x reader#benedict smut#benedict imagine#polin
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ATTENTION FELLOW ARTISTS!!
I've been getting a lot of spam 'commission' requests lately and I wanted to send out a warning to anyone who might be starting up their commission business. (LONG POST)
The idea that these scammers want to take advantage of an artist makes me so angry and I want you all to be safe out there doing your art!
These requests (for me) have always started with an account asking if my commissions are open. Usually these accounts have no content of their own, are new accounts, or are 'private'. The premise is almost always 'painting a picture of my son's pet for his birthday'.
(I am including the usernames because as of writing this they were deactivated)
The account will then ask for prices, or they will offer an INSANE amount of money ($200-$500). I conduct business through PayPal invoices and require an email to send the invoice through.
These accounts ALWAYS refuse to give you their email and insist that you provide yours. DO NOT DO THIS. Never follow links from someone you don't know, always remember that you don't know who or what is talking to you.
Conclusion - fellow artists, if you EVER feel uncomfortable about the person commissioning you, be it subject, money, or you just plain feel off, you can say NO! Always know you can tell a person NO.
Keep yourself safe first! There are so many amazing people out there who appreciate you, and these scammers are NOT among them. Edit: if someone is insisting they send you money directly (through links especially) this is a red flag in my book!
#arianwen44#commission scams#scam warning#scam alert#art commissions#commissions#art commission#art comms open#art commissions open#please be safe#stay safe
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