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inamagicalhallucination · 1 year ago

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headcanon atsushi’s ability the tiger does not know what to do when it likes someone

like in general atsushi is bad with knowing what to do with the ppl he likes and showing affection -- like he tries to mimic others but he himself is still working on something that feels natural if that makes sense

but the tiger

the tiger is far worse becuz the only positive thing it can associate with positive emotions is food so every time it gets closer to the full moon the tiger starts whispering in the back of his mind that he should eat dazai and kunikida

then kyouka and junichiro

and ranpo and yosano and fukuzawa and kenji and naomi and haruno

at first atsushi panics (naturally) worries he’s a cannibal, thinks the tiger hates the agency, panics more, especially after dead apple when he and the tiger gained an understanding of each other and he realized that the tiger was protecting him so he’s like why r u trying to kill the agency members

but gradually he realizes that actually the tiger just doesn’t know how to deal with positive emotions and yeah

anyway:

atsushi: dazai-san is so nice to me :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: we should eat him

atsushi: NO????

kunikida, patting atsushi’s head: good job on ur report atsushi

the tiger: use his arm against him and eat him

kunikida: atsushi u look weird are u feeling unwell

atsushi: hahaha dont worry about no weird thoughts here hahahaha

atsushi, literally just working:

the tiger: the small candy one eats a lot of sugar. he would taste sweet. Eat him.

atsushi: NO??????????????

ranpo, looking up: i’ve actually always wondered what i would taste like-

and so on

is this incredibly dumb? yes but is it also funny, yes

atsushi realizes he likes akutagawa because at some point when he spots him the tiger immediately starts wondering what he’d taste like

atsushi, sees akutagawa: oh there’s that basta-

the tiger: i bet he’d taste really nice

atsushi:

atsushi: oh

atsushi: oh no

akutagawa: how did you figure out you liked me?

atsushi: i couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d taste like

akutagawa, blushing: oh-

atsushi: yeah it was insane how much the tiger wanted to kill and eat u

akutagawa, slightly confused and horrified: oh-

eventually as atsushi learns to deal with his feelings so does the tiger but unfortunately it’s still an animal so its more like

atsushi: dazai’s so nice :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: lets hunt a deer for him

atsushi: no??????????????

kunikida, petting atsushi’s hair: good job on the job atsushi

atsushi, not thinking about what he’s saying: kunikida i like u so much should i kill a bear for u?

kunikida, slightly confused, slightly flattered: uhh no???????

atsushi, at the store: lemme just get something for kyouka-

the tiger: we shall hunt until we find something suitabl-

atsushi: no.

atsushi: im sorry i transformed last night, snuck out of ur place, hunted down a goose, broke back in, left it in the living room table, and then climbed on top of u, still a tiger, and then fell asleep and only transformed back now, after u had to use rashomon to get tiger me off u

akutagawa, dead tired: yeah i don’t know what the appropriate response is but ur cleaning the bloo-

akutagawa: wait wtf do u mean theres a dead goose in the living room

atsushi: do u not like goose :(

akutagawa: that is NOT the issue here

yeah

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starlightshadowsworld · 5 months ago

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Random headcannons I have about the Agency living in the dorms.

Atsushi is banned from cleaning and doing any chores other than his own. Because he cleans like he's back in the Orphanage.

Dazai is banned from the kitchen indefinitely after setting it on fire on his first day while making toast at 4am.

There's a whiteboard in the communal area with everyones daily tasks, a shopping list, who's turn it is to do certain things etc.

There's also a drawing from Kenji to brighten everyone's morning and yes it's usually a cow.

Infact a lot of his and Kyouka's drawings having been put on the walls and fridge. Along with some of Dazai's... Well after Kunikida deemed them appropriate of course.

They have weekly movie nights where they write titles of what they want to watch and than draw them out of a hat at random.

Said hat has sometimes ended up being Chuuya's hat (Dazai stole it.) It's gotten to where the door is left unlocked for Chuuya to charge in (without breaking down the door) and retrieve his hat.

Sometimes they manage to convince him to stay and watch movies with them. If he does, he's not allowed to sit next to Dazai because they'll argue throughout the whole thing.

Kyouka and Junichiro like to bake together and whenever they do Ranpo is always the first to offer to taste test.

There's jars with everyones names on them known as the bail jars. Kunikida's is used the most out of everyone else's.

The older members go for a night out of drinking on Friday nights. They invite Katai (as they do with movie nights) and each of them take turns being the designated driver.

But this doesn't always go to plan and on those days Junichiro will show up to drive them back to the dorms. (Listen if the kid can pilot a helicopter I think he can drive a car.)

The underaged members of the Agency will have a game night. They play a punch of video and board games, sometimes as teams and other times individually.

The points are added up and the winner is declared.

It's fair because the younger members of the Agency can't drink and the older ones are banned from game night. Because they get way to over competitive, looking at you Yosano.

No ones allowed to bring work home with them. Atsushi and Kunikida break this rule constantly and have been reprimanded by the others.

When there's unrest around them, someone's having nightmares, or it's an anniversary of a tragedy, whatever it is on those nights where one or all of them are struggling they all have a sleepover in the communal area.

They all take their blankets and keep each other close. Sometimes they'll talk and sometimes they won't. They just need everyone close.

Fukuzawa doesn't live in the dorms but he lives nearby and drops in regularly to check up on everyone.

#bsd ada #armed detective agency #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd dazai #bsd kunikida #bsd kyouka #bsd ranpo #bsd yosano #bsd kenji #bsd atsushi #bsd chuuya #bsd katai

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oompaloompadidu · 1 month ago

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Can I ask for PM and ADA men with a reader who struggles with depression? feel free to ignore!

hi! Sure I can try!

PORT MAFIA

Chuuya

He'd try to make you happy, doing everything you ask him to

He'd buy you lots of gifts and put them on your desk without saying anything and buy you flowers everyday

He's so sorry for you and fears it might be his fault (pls tell him it's not, he's such an angel), and everytime something happens he gets really worried for you

He keeps you from taking any decision against yourself (he knows Dazai and he'd give his life for you to not become as desperate as him)

He puts his hat on your head when you get really sad and tells you: "keep it as a reminder that I love you. And it looks better o you, anyway."

Akutagawa

He doesn't know what to do, he's terrible at dealing with emotions

At first he told you that you were "too emotional", "exaggerating" and "weak" but when he realized you actually had depression problems he stopped

He buys you tea/figs when things get bad with your depression because he doesn't know what to do and since he likes those things he hopes they can help (help it's so cute-)

Mori

Like chuuya, he buys you everything, but not just what you ask, even what you just look at for too much time. He wants you to feel better but usually he doesn't worry for people, so he's not very good at it.

he lets you mimic him even if it could offend him a bit, because it makes you laugh and he loves it

You have lots of plushies that he bought you during your worst depression episodes

He always brings you at fancy restaurants and buys you dresses to cheer you up

ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY

Dazai

Oh well. You two are in the same situation.

At first he always asked you for a double suicide but, after he discovered you struggle with depression as well, I think he would stop. He couldn't actually accept the fact that you could risk to die for his fault while he could survive at the attempt (he wants you to live as long as possible so that he can stay with you)

He keeps trying to find new ways of suicide, but a lot less than before

Still, if you asked him for a double suicide he would accept without a second thought

He makes a lot of jokes and try to make you laugh when you're really sad or tired

Kunikida

He'd have stress attacks every time you get worse

He never had a girlfriend/good friend so he doesn't know how to make you feel better

He tried to ask Yosano how to help you but she just said "don't know man, go shopping with her"

And so he did

Now when you get really bad and don't want to do anything/talk he makes you get out of the house saying that "there is 'shopping time' in his schedule and he wants to go"

You know he doesn't really like going shopping but you appreciate it

Atsushi

he buys you a lot of tea rice

And a lot of plushies

And everything that you like (even if it might means that he has to work twice because he doesn't have the money)

He tries to be always there for you and tells you that you are the most brilliant and fantastic person he knows

Ranpo

Girl you'll be COVERED of candies and chocolate and sweets of every type

He asks Poe to keep you company when he's obligated to go at meetings with the ada because he doesn't want you to be lonely

I hope you're good with orientation because you two will get lost a lot if you let him try to guide you (but it's okay he's a cute babyyy-)

Kenji (he's a minor I hope you are a minor as well pls don't do anything weird to him he's just my adorable baby)

He always offer you to visit his camps to cheer you up

His smile is contagious TRUST ME

my adorable little baby loves you with all his heart and he would literally rip apart everyone who dares to say something bad about so that you don't feel bad anymore ❤️

Junichiro

He tries to get off work earlier so that he can stay with you

He's scared Naomi will do something weird to him and get you worse but actually you two are friends and she likes you a lot

He asks Dazai and Kunikida for help about how to cheer you up but they both said "why do you think I know?" and he's very confused

He gives you kisses even in public sometimes when you're really sad but pda embarrasses him and also he doesn't want Naomi to see it

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mystwrites · 2 months ago

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Tickletober Day 3: Prank

Fandom: BSD

Lee: Dazai

Ler: Atsushi

A/N: I only did 2 fics for Tickletober cuz I’m placing my studies first. Everything is queued for the respective day. I hope you enjoy my 2 short fics!

“Dazai san! I have a magic trick to show you!!” Atsushi exclaimed, gathering all of the Agency members into the main office. “Come and stand in front of me!”

“Come on, Dazai san!” Kenji urged, jumping up and down.

“Yeah! It’s a good one!” Junichiro added, sending Kyouka a wink as she stifled a laugh.

Curious, Dazai obeyed and stood by Atsushi, allowing the younger to position him how he wanted to. He then saw a broom in Atsushi’s hand, even more curious as to what exactly the magic trick entailed.

Kunikida was mildly interested only because Atsushi said he was going to torment Dazai for a bit. If Atsushi was going to torment Dazai, there was no way Kunikida could not watch. He sort of enjoyed watching Dazai get humbled by Atsushi whenever the kid decided that he had enough shenanigans for one day.

Junichiro, Kenji, Ranpo, Kyouka and Naomi all had their phones out and laughed softly amongst each other while Yosano just stood by her office, possibly hoping Dazai being the idiot he was somehow injures himself in the process of the magic trick.

“What do you want me to do, Atsushi kun?” Dazai asked, letting Atsushi raise his arms slightly.

“Put your arms out to the side. I’m going to slide this broom into your sleeves!” Atsushi said, swiftly sliding the broom into the sleeves of Dazai’s coat. “Wait…shoot! It’s stuck! Someone help!”

Seeing that the broom was stuck, Kyouka and Kenji rushed over to assist. Kenji pushed the broom stick up and Kyouka assisted Atsushi by pulling on the end that finally poked out from Dazai’s left side.

When the broom poked out of the opposite end, Atsushi had to silently laugh and turned away from Dazai to face Kenji and Kyouka, the two also laughing silently. Dazai had no idea what was about to hit him.

“All set.” Kyouka said, winking at Atsushi who winked right back.

“Okay, the broom is in my sleeves. Now what?” Dazai asked. “Do I flap like a bird?”

“No! You’re gonna break the broom, you idiot!” Kunikida scolded, giving Dazai a glare as the man smirked. “Listen to Atsushi.”

“A-And now you gotta say the magic words.” Atsushi stammered, trying to hide his laugh.

“What are the words?” Dazai wondered. “It must be silly if you’re trying not to giggle. Hey! Tanizaki kun! Kyouka chan! Don’t record this!”

Kyouka and Junichiro laughed and ignored Dazai. If he filmed them getting pranked or bothered, why should they stop?

Atsushi giggled and shook his head. “Th-the words are broom, broom abracadabra. Say that and watch as magic appears before your eyes, Dazai san!”

Chuckling as he watched Atsushi act extravagant by doing some jazz hands, Dazai shook his head and ultimately decided to indulge in this silliness. It was rare for the weretiger to engage in such silly antics. Might as well take the opportunity to be silly with him, right?

“Broom, broom abracadabra.” Dazai said, knowing no actual magic would happen.

Upon hearing the words, Atsushi shoved his hands under Dazai’s now exposed armpits, gently scribbling his fingers lightly against the clothed skin, laughing just as hard and loud as Dazai who instantly screeched and collapsed onto the floor. With the brunette down, the office erupted into fits of hard laughter much to Atsushi’s happiness. He made their dull, boring office day lively and exciting!

“Way to go, Atsushi kun!” Yosano exclaimed, giving him a thumbs up.

“You caught Dazai off guard again!” Ranpo added, laughing as Dazai hiccuped. “I thought you couldn’t pull another feat like that but I guess I was wrong! Haha!”

“Way to go, kid!” Kunikida praised, more than amused at the sight. “Don’t let up until he agrees to do all of his work for the day. He’s been slacking off too much as of lately.”

“Yes sir!” Atsushi said, giving the blonde a salute before continuing to tickle his mentor. “Tickle, tickle, tickle!~”

“A-Ahahaha!! Atsu-Atsushi ku-UUHUHUHUHUN!!!” Dazai cried, laughing as Atsushi continued tickling him. “ATSUSHI KUN AHAHHAHAA!! NO!! THIHIS ISN’T A MAHAHAGIC TRICK!!”

“You’re right.” Atsushi laughed, sitting behind Dazai and tickling his armpits relentlessly. “This was a prank I saw on social media. Ahhahaa!! You fell for it too!”

“BUHUHULLYING!! YOHOHOU’RE BUHUHULLYING MEHEHEHEE!” Dazai wailed, laughing as Atsushi dug in a little harder.

“Maybe, but you’re the one who “bullies” me, Dazai san.” Atsushi argued, now really tickling Dazai. “I’m getting my revenge for all the times you tickled me…and this is also for Kunikida san who wants you to finish all your work without asking me to do it.”

Dazai whined and continued to laugh, now leaning on Atsushi’s legs. His feet began to kick out and the others all laughed at his expense, neither joining in nor helping him. Atsushi then started to jump around between tickling around Dazai’s ribs before shoving his hands back into the man’s armpits, Dazai a whole mess of wheezes, snorts and loud, hysterical belly laughter.

“Well, it certainly looks like Dazai will be doing all of his papers soon.” Yosano whispered, giggling as Dazai admitted defeat, using his foot to stomp the floor three times.

“Yep. And he better do a damn good job too.” Ranpo added, sucking on his lollipop. “The president says he’s behind by nearly half a year’s worth of reports not including the ones he forced Atsushi kun to do.”

“I…aaahaha! I’ll g-get to wohohork!” Dazai wheezed, sighing with relief as Atsushi removed the broom stick from his sleeves.

“Oh? And when are you going to start?” Kunikida asked.

“L-later toni-AAAHA!! NONONO!” Dazai cried, Atsushi’s fingers gently scribbling along his ribs. “NOW! IHIHI’LL DO THEHEHE PAPERWORK NOHOHOW!!!”

“Good! And don’t ask me for help.” Atsushi added, giggling and running away before Dazai could get his revenge.

Just then, Fukuzawa walked into the room, looking at Dazai who curled up on the floor. He looked at Kyouka who handed him her phone and watched the video of their antics from earlier. Looking up, Atsushi was at his desk, being a good employee while Dazai remained on the floor.

“I can finally die now!” the brunette cried with glee.

A simultaneous groan escaped from everyone in the office and Fukuzawa handed Kyouka her phone back, silently walking out like he didn’t just witness chaos in his own workplace along with hearing Dazai’s suicidal antics.

#tickletober 2024 #bsd tickling #tickle drabbles #augtickletober2024 #bungo stray dogs tickling #lee!dazai #ler!atsushi

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kaurwreck · 7 months ago

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the Agency literally does not have a prohibition on murder. fukuzawa gives kunikida a gun with which to put down dazai like a dog if he has evil in his heart. kunikida electrocuted akutagawa. dazai and chuuya fight lovecraft with intent to kill. atsushi and akutagawa throw francis off an airship— which he shouldn't have survived. atsushi kills shibusawa— again. they are all operating on the knowledge that junichiro will kill for naomi.

the Agency (1) lives in the "twilight," (2) distinguishes between indiscriminate murder and murder to survive or for the common good.

I would call yall cops for your crippling reliance on dichotomies, except even criminal justice systems tend to distinguish between degrees of murder.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #you dont have to agree morally #to notice that the agency clearly distinguishes between degrees of harm and murder #this isnt about what's right #it's about what does the text say

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uzi-x33 · 2 months ago

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live laugh love emo/alt junichiro🙏🙏 oh also his loser bf (he’s not a loser his style is just so ugly im sorry 😭)

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glitch-karma · 1 year ago

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Hi there! If requests are still opened, i'd love to make one :o (although it's a bit lengthy, so if you don't want to do it I understand!!)

TW for s**cide mentions from here forward btw! (common with any dazai fic, lolz)

I'd love to request a dazai x reader (fem or gn will work!) where he asks reader to commit double suicide with him, and to literally everyone's shock, they agree! So the agency (mainly kunikida and atsushi) have to repeatedly sabatoge their attempts, and during that time, the two start to get to know eachother better and grow closer whilst they aren't plotting their own demises. Eventually dazai starts to fall for them, but one day reader tries to attempt on their own life solo due to being unable to handle the pains and pressures of life anymore. Ofc they were rescued just in time, but it made him realize that he wants to see reader safe and happy, and that he had finally found his reason to live through his love for them. Extra points if he confesses his love at some point and reader accepts!!

Sorry if this was rant-y, i'm a huge sucker for angst to comfort :P either way tho, i hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night!

THIS RIGHT HERE IS A BEAUTIFUL STORY OH MY!!!!

-F!Y/n

-Y/n is a new worker at the Cafe under the ADA

-MAJOR SUICIDE WARNING!! (Including but not limited to: Blood, pills, self-harm, etc..) I am a sucker for graphic detail so you have been warned

-Also warning for puke

-Reader is kinda based off of Mafuyu from Project Sekai cause I said so (Btw pjsk simps gonna open up reqs for them when they become open again‼️)

-also reader has dull eyes cause anime logic

I did probably a concerning amount of research on suicide, (Plus looked for so long for Dazai's stupid lil book) for this so I hope you enjoy!

_____

Break time at the Armed detective agency usually means having some coffee at their favorite cafe. As the group sat down Dazai was glancing around when his eyes caught the sight of the new waitress waiting next to a barista Dazai frequently flirted with. The girl had semi-messy h/c colored hair, her eyes a dull e/c. Her features framed her face so beautifully. Dazai's mouth curled into a smirk as he stared at her. Kunikida caught wind and immediately irked. "Dazai.."

As the waitress approached the table, Dazai read the name stage reading "Y/n". He smiled as she stopped at their table. Before she could get a word out Dazai grabbed her hand in his. "Such soft hands.. And beautiful eyes as well. Would you, Belladona, do me the honors of accompanying me to a double suicide?"

WHACK

Dazai was now lying on the floor, as Kunikida brushed himself off. "I'm so sorry Ma'am, he's always like this-" Atsushi apologized as Y/n leaned down to the man on the floor. "I'd gladly join a double suicide." She smiled down at him.

. . .

"WHAT!?!"

"Really!?!" Dazai yelled as he stood up, grabbing Y/n's hand again. Y/n chuckled as she nodded at him. "I get off at 6. You work in this building correct? I'll meet you on the roof." "Yes yes, that sounds wonderful~!"

Everyone at the table stared shell-shocked as Y/n takes their order normally like nothing just happened. As dazai kicked his legs in his own little world, Kunikida Atsushi and Junichiro all stared at each other in concern. Kunikida pulled them behind a menu quickly.

"As much as I'd love to let that dimwitt meet his end, we need him and that girl to stay alive. It isn't right letting a young lady with so much life in her die with that blasted Dazai." Kunikida sighed. Atsushi and Junichiro nodded in sync.

"Once Dazai leaves to meet her we should follow them," Atsushi whispered. Junichiro hummed in agreement. "It's decided then." Junichiro finished. The three quickly separated from the menu as Y/n walked over and set down their drinks. As she walked away dazai starstruck-ingly called out; "See you tonight Madameeee~". Y/n peeked over her shoulder, smiling at him. Dazai felt his heart flutter a bit at those beautifully dull eyes.. They seemed to draw him in for more.

...

As Dazai whipped open the doors to the building roof, he caught sight of the lady ready to accompany him with his final dance. Her hair was gently blowing in the warm Yokohama breeze as she stared off into the sky. What was she looking at? Dazai didn't know. But her eyes looked so sickeningly dull in that moment. But still, so beautiful..

"I'm pleasantly surprised to see you here! I was concerned you agreed simply to make me leave you alone." The dark-eyed man said, leaning next to her. "I'd never joke about suicide. Such a beautiful ending to a sick existence." Y/n spoke lowly. In the cafe, she had a sort of customer voice, but there was no trace of it here. Dazai smirked a bit at this.

"I should let you know now, I'm not interested in pain. I don't know exactly what you're into though.." Dazai teased her. "Pain is not something I'm looking for either. Just a quick ending."

Dazai chuckled, quickly whipping out his little red book. "Suffocation, Hanging, Poisoning, Shooting, Jumping," He read off as Y/n stared at him. Only blinking in response. "All the ideas you could storm up are right here in this very book."

"Ah! What a glorious book,, if I wasn't planning on dying I'd buy a copy.." Y/n smiled lightly. "But.." she continued, grabbing the book and shutting it quickly. "I'd like to try jumping first."

With a quick grab of Dazai's shirt, the two were suddenly falling off the roof of the building. Y/n shut her eyes, waiting for the end of it all.

Poof.

The two landed on a bunch of garbage bags stacked up on each other. Y/n quickly sat up in disappointment as Dazai lay on the ground is fear and confusion. "Dang."

Dazai suddenly bursted into laughter. Y/n hummed, turning to him. "What's so funny?" Dazai wiped a tear from his eye as he sat up too. "You're the most forward suicidal girl I've ever met, my dear Y/n." He chuckled. Y/n blushed lightly before standing up.

"No matter.. We'll try again. Tomorrow. You can choose the method." She smiled at him. Dazai chuckled as he stood, lending her a hand up as he did so. "It's a date." He joked.

. .

"GAHHHH I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GONNA MAKE IT." "Oh be quiet Atsushi, my Ideals were almost perfect."

There were the secret team, two sweaty messes, and one writing vigorously in his notebook. The three had watched Dazai enter the roof before running down to prepare in case they jumped, finishing just before they did.

"This might be a long couple of days.." Junichiro said quietly.

...

Day 2

"Oiiiii! Y/n dear!" Dazai yelled as he entered the roof. "Ah, hello Dazai." the girl lightly smiled. "What will we be doing today?"

Time after time,

Day 3

"Oh, Y/n you're here late! Well? Shall we begin?"

Attempt after attempt,

Week 3

"Dazai! Hurry we'll miss the train!" "Yes yes, my dear!"

The two met almost every day.

Month 2

The two had been testing the faith of this world as they attempted suicide again and again. Slowly, Dazai started to see something he hadn't before. Something fluttered in his chest..

The way she gets so distracted, the way she turned to yell at him when he took a joke too far, the way her nose scrunched up in such a way, those eyes.. Those beautifully dull eyes.

What was this feeling in Dazai's chest?

As Dazai thought intensely at his desk the others in the office grew worried. "What's up with Dazai today?" Atsushi mumbled. "I'm not sure.. I've never seen him think this much before."

"It's so clear what his problem is." Ranpo mumbled as he sucked on a loli. Dazai's head shot up immediately. "You know what this feeling is in my chest!? Please, explain Ranpo! Have I been poisoned? Is it fatal? Will I finally die? I can't die without Y/n."

Ranpo sighed as he bit off the lollipop. "No nothing of the sort, you're simply in love with that cafe waitress."

...

"Did he really just say that in front of us all!?"

Everyone at the agency thought in shock. Dazai's eyes were wide as he stared at Ranpo. His cheeks were flushed as he pondered the idea. The great Dazai? In love?

"This feeling in my chest.." He thought in shock. "That's a heart by the way," Ranpo smirked at the flustered Dazai. Dazai looked down for a moment, before springing up. He slammed his fist down loudly."This is..."

"Truly wonderful!!"

Dazai yelled as he pranced around the office. The majority of the group stared in dismay as he did so. "Ah, how perfect! I'm in love with the person I plan to meet my end with! We can plan a lovelier more passionate suicide now! How beautiful!"

"I should go confess right away! We can begin planning for our end together!" Dazai screamed with giddy as he threw his jacket on quickly. Ranpo's eyes scrunched together lightly as he thought. "You should go quickly, Dazai." He said as Dazai flung open the door.

"Will do!" Dazai yelled, running down the stairs to the cafe. As he opened the doors, he inhaled the lovely aroma of coffee before calling out. "Y/n my dear! I need to tell you something import-"

To Dazai's dismay, Y/n was nowhere to be seen in the cafe. He blinked a few times before walking towards one of the other workers. "Is Y/n here?" He asked with a hand covering his face.

"Ah, I'm sorry Dazai she didn't come in for her shift this morning.." The barista explained. Dazai's head popped up in surprise. "Uh, really?"

"Mhm, She didn't call in either. It's unlike her. She usually at least gives a call if she's gonna be late." The girl explained. Dazai's eyes furrowed as he thought.

"You should go quickly, Dazai."

Dazai's eyes shot open as he stared at the ground for a moment. "No.."

"Uh, Dazai?" The barista asked him. Dazai turned quickly, running out of the cafe in a hurry. His breath grew ragged as he ran quickly. He stopped in front of a familiar apartment complex to breathe. He then quickly ran in, ignoring the calls from a front desk worker. He sprinted and sprinted as he burst into Y/n's bedroom. "Y/n!" He screamed.

His eyes quickly scanned the room, finding it neatly tidied instead of the mess it was when he first visited her here. He then noticed the bathroom door shut tightly, while steam lightly flowed out of it. He ran to the door, trying the handle only to find it locked.

"Y/n!" He yelled, banging on the door. No answer. Dazai backed up quickly, before slamming his shoulder into the door, causing it to fly off its hinges. He looked up from the floor, seeing the sight he wanted to stop.

(Last major TW before we continue.)

Y/n laid in the bathtub fully clothed. The water from the faucet flowed continually, causing the room to fill with steam. A bottle of some unmarked pills laid on the bathroom floor, followed by a knife of which she'd used to make her wrist bleed. The fresh red liquid had been used to fill a small vile next to her.

Dazai quickly stood up, stopping the water before reaching his hands into the hot water. He wrapped his arms around Y/n's figure, lifting her up into his arms before placing her on the floor gently. He quickly ran to the medicine cabinet, grabbing a cotton swab and a roll of bandages.

He ran back to her fast, checking her pulse before sticking the cotton swab deep into her throat repeatedly until a steady stream of fresh puke left her lips. He pulled her into his arms as she came to, putting pressure on her wrist. Y/n's head felt fuzzy as she looked up at him. "Dazai.."

"Ah, you're conscious. Please stay awake, and don't move too much." Dazai whispered lowly. Y/n's head fog cleared as she came to. Realizing she'd been saved.

"No.." She mumbled as hot tears began to form. She suddenly became enraged. "Why you of all people.." "Y/n?"

"I thought you understood.. I just want to disappear from this world. Don't you get it?"

"I want to save you. I want to live with you, even if it's only for a bit before we depart together. There's still so much I don't know about you. Y/n, I-"

"Stop it!!" Y/n screamed, kicking Dazai away. "Don't you dare say it! What can you do? You may save me for a bit, you may make me feel happy for a short while, but then what!? One day it won't work anymore! And I'll want to die again!"

She was shouting.

"That's why this is all too much! Just let me have a clean death alone! You're so selfish for even coming here and spouting that bull shit!"

Without even realizing it, Y/n was shouting.

"I'm tired..! I'm so tired of thinking there's hope! Tired of waiting, finding something close, then watching it disappear! I'll never find what I'm looking for! I'll... I'll never truly be saved! Don't you see Dazai!?"

Dazai's eyes stayed still as he watched the girl scream.

"I'm so tired.. So tired.! Don't let me despair anymore.. Just let me rot."

The silence in the room was sickening. No one dared move.

Until Dazai broke the silence by cackling. Y/n sniffled confused as she stared at him. "I just keep seeing new sides of you Y/n.. You really are sickeningly complicated." He smirked at her as he inched closer.

Dazai's lips suddenly slammed into Y/n's. The girl's eyes opened wide as she stared at him. After a few seconds, dazai pulled away, a small string of saliva trailing behind. He licked his lips lightly before speaking:

"You called me selfish for saving you.." Dazai spoke before leaning close to Y/n's ear. "But I'm an incredibly greedy man my dear.."

Y/n's face flushed more as Dazai grabbed her wrist, wrapping her wound up tightly. "Even if it takes me saving you a thousand times, I'll do it all over again. So we can have the perfect suicide together."

Y/n breathes in shakily as Dazai kisses her hand gently.

"So, let's try this again. Y/n, my dear. I'm in love with you. Will you join me, in living and dying in this life?"

Dazai's words brought more tears into Y/n's eyes as she nodded lightly.

"Yes."

-Fin-

#bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd fanfic #bungo stray dogs x reader #dazai x reader #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #dazai osamu x reader #glitchs✧works

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with-my-calamitous-love · 2 months ago

Text

SO I’LL SAY WORDS I DON’T BELIEVE

atsushi nakajima x reader

atsushi writes you an apology. bsd 117/118 spoilers

inspired by bigger than the whole sky

[y/n],

its been a few days since… since it happened. i still can’t wrap my head around it. i’m all on my own now. i’m trying to hold it all together, because thats what you’d want. kyouka is with me. we’ve just been hiding out… trying to survive. trying to fix this mess.

i’m don’t want to be clingy, or annoying or useless. i want to use the strength i have now, like dazai-san would want. but i just can’t help but wonder what you’d say to me if you were still here. i can’t stop crying.

i can’t get your last words out of my head, [y/n]. even when you were attacked, you stayed strong, and brave. i wonder if you did it for me. were you secretly scared? were you in pain? did you put on a brave face just for me? i don’t know. and i wish i did. i wish i could have saved you, and everyone.

i honestly wasn’t sure what to say. i lost all my words in the aftermath. just tears. i just cried, even when kyouka eventually came to me. even now, i still can’t find the right words to say. its like everything i touch turns into sadness.

did i ever tell you what my life was like before the agency? i find myself reliving it more and more now that you’re gone. i was worthless, and i didn’t mean anything to anyone. that all changed when i joined you and everyone else. for once, i felt loved. for once, i felt purpose. for once, i could wake up and feel like i was wanted.

…i don’t know how its all over now.

i wasn’t sure what love was before i met you, [y/n]. i’m so sorry i didn’t tell you that when i could. dazai-san would tease me about it everyday. he said it was obvious i had a little crush on you. what i would give to go back to that.

and i can’t help but wonder what could have been you. you had so many dreams you talked about. things you wanted to do, to live and see. your head was filled with music and stories and wonder. and when i think of that, i wonder what could have been us. if maybe, i stood up and told you how i felt. if maybe i wasn’t such a coward. maybe we could have had everything.

i’ve got a lot to live without now that you’re gone. i just don’t know how i’ll do it. this isn’t fair. you were gone too soon. kenji was too young. junichiro never said goodbye. kunikida-san deserved more.

i won’t let him get away with this.

you were more than just a short time to me. you were bigger than the whole sky. you were my whole world while you were here. i love you.

yours,

atsushi

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