#Joslin Reyes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cannibalisticskittles · 8 years ago

Text

in the interim

Even after they’ve navigated their improvised escape boat back to the beach, even after they steer it cautiously past the craggy rocks and the gutted, rusty ships lining the shore, even after Yamatai fades to a blip in the distance, none of them really feel like they’ve escaped the wrath of the island until the cargo ship picks them up, and then the exhaustion of the past few days hits them.

It all seeps out of Lara the moment the Conveyer crew pulls her aboard, and she is limp and quiet as she is fussed over and gently pushed to clean up, and then, more firmly, advised to limit her movements after her stomach is examined and inexpertly bandaged.

They do everything short of draping a shock blanket over her, and she is thankful for their consideration – but after everything, the attention is almost too much to bear. She can’t say she would have welcomed the touches of strangers before Yamatai, even knowing how well-intentioned they are, but by the time she is deemed well enough to be on her own, she is hunching her shoulders to ward off the uncomfortable prickling sensation that blooms across them just because she’s surrounded by people, has their eyes on her, and she’s fairly certain she also wouldn’t have reacted like this before the island.

They are not the Solarii. This is unmistakable from their every motion, from the pity-filled smiles and curious glances to the soft, genial chatter she hears from those she passes – but she still tenses each time she hears footsteps nearing, her hands reaching for her bow at her back before she remembers.

She’s out. She’s free. She doesn’t have to be that person anymore, not ever again.

Maybe if she repeats it enough, she’ll believe it.

-----

Despite what she’s been told, staying put makes Lara feel… itchy.

She’s more mindful of her side, now – funny how seeing it cleaned up and stripped of the muck that had ringed it makes the wound ache like it’s new, even more than it did when she first fell, though she supposes she can chalk that one up to sustained panic, too. It’s got a long way to go, she’s told. Maybe more now that her body has had a few days to heal – they say it’s likely that not all the mending it’s tried to do has been clean. Honestly, she’d be surprised if it was. So she should be resting, giving herself a break – and still, she feels much better on her feet.

Instead, she makes rounds of the ship. Checks in on everyone. She knows she doesn’t need to, knows that there’s no threat to them now.

Still. There’s no harm in seeing for herself that they’re all still alive and well.

Jonah seems to be doing much the same as her. He’s the clear favorite of most of the Conveyer crew, but while he doesn’t shy away from those who approach him, Lara most often finds him when she is peering into the ship’s narrow rooms as she looks for the Endurance crew, already sitting with whoever she was looking for at that moment.

He’s a calming presence. Safe. Seems to know just how much, or how little, to say. Her affinity for lost civilizations doesn’t seem to translate to the living, much as she’s tried, so on the occasions when he beckons her in, draws her into the conversation, she feels two steps behind Jonah’s quiet confidence, but… it’s nice, all the same.

There’s a lingering fear that someone will bring up the island, the Solarii, Himiko – but no one does. Not yet. There’s some comfort in that, too, in knowing that she’s not the only one who feels Yamatai too close behind her to examine. She can’t say she feels normal, or even close to it, but she’s starting to think she’ll get there eventually.

And it’s Jonah that keeps watch with her at Sam’s side, Jonah that lays a gentle hand on her shoulder and murmurs that she will be fine, little bird, she is safe now.

Sam, thank god, seems to be making a full recovery. Near-possession has taken a toll on her, but after a full day of sleeping and the next two waking only in bursts, she finally sits enough to fix clear eyes on Lara and say that the smell of bacon from somewhere above them is torture on her empty stomach. Lara’s relief is so great that she giggles until tears prick at her eyes.

Though Sam reports a general ache throughout herself, and Lara occasionally catches Sam wincing when she walks, Sam insists it's nothing to worry about.

“But if you wanted to carry me around again, hey, I wouldn’t mind.”

She still has periods of exhaustion – which brighten when Lara shows her the letters and documents she’d found on Yamatai.

Hesitantly, at first – Lara’s not sure how much of Sam’s needling her about her findings is sincere and how much is teasing, and she has no desire to dredge up painful memories – but Sam seems genuinely fascinated by the papers Lara carefully unfolds for her.

Sam pores over Hoshi’s writing most of all, letting her fingers hover over the words, tracing the air over the lettering.

Sometimes they sit and speculate – “If Hoshi hadn’t… broken the cycle… do you think Himiko would still be ruling Yamatai?” and “How did they get enough ships to the island to build everything? Wasn’t she causing storms then, or did something they do wake her up somehow?”

Sam tosses the covers over them once, wriggling to a better position to illuminate the letters with her flashlight. “Now it’s like a sleepover,” she says.

“Do most girls examine centuries-old letters at sleepovers? Guess I really missed out on that.”

“Oh, hush, you.”

“I just think I’d have been a lot interested if I’d known, that’s all,” Lara says, nudging Sam with her shoulder.

Sam makes a face, scrunching up her nose, but the look of feigned-displeasure is marred by the smile that stretches across her face. “Well, we can make up for all those missed sleepovers now, can’t we?”

Alex, strangely enough, finds a similar interest in some of the papers. Being confined to bedrest, though certainly the best course of action given how badly damaged his leg still is, makes him antsy. His grousing about the situation seems played up, deliberately carefree – “We finally get an ocean view without a dead queen tossing storms at us, and I’m stuck down here, of course” – but… well, Lara supposes not being able to move much on his own may have some uncomfortable parallels.

But when Sam starts staying awake longer than she sleeps, she walks to his room on mostly-steady feet – “don’t worry, Lara, I’m not going to pitch off the side of the ship; really, I’m alright” – plunks down on the edge of his bed, and starts rattling off discoveries.

Admittedly, he’s less drawn to the diplomatic papers or to Hoshi’s accounts than he is to the more recent letters, and he just about flips his lid over Trinity, whatever that is.

Sam spreads out the papers on his bedsheets and the conspiracy theories start anew – government-affiliated or fringe group? Long-dead or still-operating? Spanning back decades – no, centuries – no, predating historical records!

Jonah joins in when the discussions take a turn for the ridiculous – well, more ridiculous than usual – laughing as Sam and Alex try one-upping each other in their guesses.

Hell, even Reyes is drawn into it sometimes, and though she’s more liable to shake her head at proposed theories, Lara thinks she catches a hint of a smile when this only eggs on the others.

Lara never thought she’d feel nostalgic for conspiracy theories, of all things, but seeing them laugh together feels like the most normal thing in the world – even if they do shoot down her own ideas more often than not, even though she focuses on actual historical precedences, come on, it’s not any more ridiculous than ancient robots, really!

Being so cooped up does mean there’s a sharp increase in the number of times Alex blurts out attempts at quips which, even at his best, missed the mark about half the time, and he is not at his best now.

Lara feels like she could hear a thousand ill-timed puns and be grateful just knowing that he’s alive to make them, and the others are alive to hear it.

It doesn’t even seem to rankle Reyes like it normally does – though really, Reyes has hardly stopped smiling since she got a line home to Alisha, so that might have more to do with it.

Roth still weighs on her, but as the days until docking dwindle, Reyes has been radiant in her relief. She has her daughter to think about, now. Look forward, not back. Lara’s always admired that about Reyes. And Alisha will be glad to have her mother returned to her soon.

There’s something bittersweet in that knowledge, and Lara aches with the remembrance of what it felt like to be on the other side of that. It doesn’t matter, anyway. Reyes deserves this reunion.

...she deserved another reunion, too, but Lara mucked that up too, didn’t she?

The letter she found is – not something she knows what to do about. Doesn’t know if there will be a time to discuss it, or if there even should be. Is it worse to know and keep it secret, or act like it’s her business? What would she even say?

‘I’m so sorry about Roth, I miss him so much, but you and Alisha – I didn’t know –’

She could walk up to her and hand her the letter, let Reyes choose what, if anything, to say – or would that just putting more of a burden on her? Lara doesn’t know. But… Reyes doesn’t need Lara making this harder for her.

So until Lara figures it out, she’ll find other ways to make her penance, small as it may be.

There’s a lot left to figure out – what their story is, how honest they can be. How to break the news of Grim and Roth, and who needs to hear the news. And Whitman, god. His wife -- well, ex-wife now. She... still needs to know.

Anything Lara can do for them, she’ll do.

-----

Lara has been carefully wrapping and packing each of the artifacts from Yamatai in preparation for docking since early afternoon. No one else is nearly as fascinated by them as she had expected, though Sam feigns interest for Lara’s sake. Still, even if she can’t understand why, part of her is grateful to not have to worry about them getting damaged that way.

She’s just finished packing away the jade dagger and is reaching for the next when Sam speaks up.

“Do you think some part of her came back with me?” Lara startles, nearly dropping the brass inro in her haste to turn. Sam’s pose is deceptively casual, arms crossed behind her head, ankles hooked together, but she is staring staunchly up at the next bunk, and doesn’t shift even as Lara continues to stare. Slowly, carefully, Lara sets down the inro.

“—no,” she says, and immediately wishes she didn’t sound so unsure, so she shakes her head and repeats it, firmer. “No.”

She waits, but Sam doesn’t continue, and now it’s starting to eat at her. “Do... you think part of her came back with you?”

There’s a soft hum in response, and then Sam turns towards her. “I don’t know,” she says at last, and the admission is soft. She shifts a little – tapping her thumbs together, most likely. Her oldest nervous habit. She must have been thinking this over for a while. Lara moves to kneel beside Sam’s bed, a motion of silent support.

Sam draws in a deep breath and continues. “I think… there was something keeping her back, or… trying to, anyway.” Sam cracks a smile, though she’s still not looking at Lara. “Maybe Hoshi stuck it to her in the end, too.” The smile fades, and she shifts to rest her hands at her stomach, fingers twisting together. “It didn’t… feel like much of her… I don’t know, came in? But some did. And I don’t know if that left. What if she’s here, just – waiting?” There’s an edge to her words that makes Lara ache for her.

“Hey,” she says. She places a hand at Sam’s face, fingers against her cheekbone, palm fitting to her jaw. “She is not taking you. And if she tries—” Her breath catches. “If she tries anything – then we’ll push her back. We’ll beat her. We’ll figure it out together. Alright?”

Sam turns her head at last, meeting Lara’s eyes. “Okay,” she says, barely above a whisper.

Lara can feel Sam’s pulse thrumming, too-quick, but Sam lays her hand on Lara’s, and when she nods, there is determination in her eyes.

“Together.”

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