#Jokes rated | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

teaboot · 5 months ago

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My dad's favorite joke is "a skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop" and he was first told it through the open window of his car at a red light by a guy on a motorcycle.

I appreciate this proactive skeleton. They know what they enjoy, and also are aware of potential consequences and are prepared to take responsibility. Still, they know that they require accommodations and are not afraid to ask for them.

This skeleton demonstrates self-awareness, responsibility, confidence, and respect for self and others while still providing the audience a good chuckle at their expense.

Total rating: 7/10

#Jokes rated #Thank you for continuing the joke chain that started with a motorcyclist

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pansy-picnics · 10 months ago

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I GOT THIS DIALOGUE LAST NIGHT AND IM STILL LOSING MY MIND OVER IT?

#LIKE??? PEARL YOU CANT SAY THAT #THIS GAME IS RATED E 10+#genuinely what is the heterosexual explanation for this. its not a joke anymore im actually begging how do they expect us to interpret this #pearlina #side order #splatoon 3 #side order spoilers #splatoon side order #pansy rambling again #splatoon

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slythereen · 3 months ago

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“i think lando for the car and max for the points” is a crazy thing for this man to say lmaooo he really said ☝️that bum isn’t competing with MY rival, his illegal rocketship is☝️

#I support you whole heartedly Charlie #flex that favoritism on main #charles leclerc #max verstappen #lestappen #for legal reasons this is NOT a joke #it’s not my fault charles rates max game recognizes game etc etc etc #Austin gp 2024

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celifin · 8 months ago

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Silly kavetham stuff I never posted

#context for the last one??? my friends and i joked im going to get alhaitham before kaveh at this rate #so then he’s just going to ge alone in the teapot missing his wife #genshin kaveh #genshin alhaitham #alhaitham #kaveh #my art :p #genshin impact #kavetham

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bitsybunbun · 2 months ago

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Time to check your diaper!

What diaper? Look, I wear grown-up panties 😇

#bitsybunbun #thanks for the ask!#jokes aside i've been sick and sad about about the world all week #my diapers are keeping me comforted #kink ratings/asks/would-you-rathers/jokes in my askbox are all appreciated!! positive distractions are helpful 💞

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demonicseries · 23 days ago

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of course he has a Wolverine Christmas sweater

#comic: Petpool (2024) 1 #did this entire comic kinda suck #yes no question to it #a comic rated Parental Advisory #but with jokes that only a 4 year old could find funny #if you think finding a pile of shit on the ground is funny #then you’ll love this entire comic #because that’s the only joke and they do it SO MANY TIMES #marvel I want my $7 back #deadpool #comics #marvel #petpool #wolverine #poolverine

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archiepelago · 3 months ago

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bro got blessed by peto’s paradox

#my art #pressure roblox #roblox pressure #sebastian solace #pressure oc #augustine ranosc #urbanshade’s singular W. ultimate cancer prevention #for those unaware of this phenomenon-#the joke here is that logically. massive animals like whales should be experiencing cancer at very high rates #due to a higher cell count and experiencing cell division more often #however! they’re actually practically immune to it!#thus for the sake of this seb can smoke as much as he wants without that happening to his lungs by viture of the blue whale dna lmao #by virtue*#cw smoking

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frownyalfred · 2 months ago

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get yourself friends who will joke with you when you keep getting rated in comments/bookmarks (via @audreycritter)

#I’m dying #shout out to the one time someone let Audrey have it in my comments for ‘rating’ me #and she has to explain the joke #myfic #theresurrectionist #ao3 #archive of our own #writing #writing things

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aroaceleovaldez · 5 months ago

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forever mad that HoO introduced Diocletian's scepter as an object but. gave it to Nico and had Jason promote Frank about it.

Like. Okay here is an object that can summon the dead. It can only be used by a child of Hades/Pluto and a Roman officer in unison. HAZEL IS RIGHT THERE!!!!!

Nico can already summon the dead! He doesn't need a special object for it! Literally IN THE SCENE WHERE THEY GET THE SCEPTER, NICO RAISES THE DEAD. HE'S NOT WEAK ENOUGH THAT HE CAN'T! Hazel meanwhile has never raised the dead before (kind of - she did a little bit like once)! Theoretically she's fully capable of it but she's never properly tried it before! Giving her an object to help facilitate practicing with that would be perfect, especially given the scepter expires after a certain number of uses! Also, since Hazel ends up a praetor in TOA anyways, there's no reason why she shouldn't get promoted to be able to use the scepter all on her own! In fact her getting promoted in the House of Hades would be the perfect place to do so because it's a scene where she's taking the lead and saving everyone else! In fact it's a significantly better place to promote her to praetor over the scene where she ACTUALLY gets promoted! And even if you don't have Hazel promoted instead, then you'd still have it be Hazel and Frank working together to command the armies of the undead, which is perfect because they're a couple and it'd be a great way to show how well they work together!!!!!

LITERALLY THERE IS NO REASON TO NOT GIVE IT TO HAZEL. WHAT'S THE DEAL.

#pjo #riordanverse #hazel levesque #cant remember if ive made a post complaining about this before but if so I WILL DO IT AGAIN #i do have another separate joke about potential themes of the Cupid Scene revolving around diocletian's scepter #and like. it is *technically* serious meta but the way i phrase it is 80% unserious #like technically yes it is a legitimate potential analysis about some themes you could draw from that scene #but i simply choose to phrase it like ''😳😳😳😳'' because thats objectively the funniest option #< for the record i. do not think i can say that theory on this blog lol. i try to keep this blog a specific rating #but i think it makes itself pretty self-explanatory

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robotpussy · 11 months ago

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good morning, good afternoon and good night. death to Israel, death to the monarchy and death to every landlord ever

#that whole family dropping like flies (the royals)#nobody should ever have monopoly over whether ppl can have a house and they are the reason why #houselessness is rising at a rapid rate rn #that state must cease to exist this year im not joking

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teaboot · 5 months ago

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Different anon, but I wanted to share one of my favorite jokes too. :)

Dogs can’t perform MRIs, but cats can!

ytyfdtgfghfhv Took me a minute!

Short, concise, clever, punchline hits.

Total rating: 8/10

#Jokes rated #CAT scan

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punster-2319 · 8 months ago

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“Animated Family Films Made After 1968 That SURPRISINGLY Got G-Ratings” Starter Pack

(Before anyone points it out, yes, I am aware that The Land Before Time and All Dogs Go to Heaven were edited before their releases to avoid getting PG ratings).