#Jiang chang believing wei Wuxian would pick something else every time. & Wei wuxian having to live with the consequences

[rhymaes]

“Saint Bernard,” Lincoln // The Untamed (2019) // W. Bruce Cameron // Konrad Lorenz // “I’m Yr Dog,” Richie Woods // “Saint Bernard,” Lincoln // “I’m Yr Dog,” Richie Woods // Samuel Butler // Michel Houellebecq

[robininthelabyrinth]

I'm fond of time travel aus, especially yours, so what if just LWJ travelled back to the gusu lectures, either during the 13/16 years or after all the events of canon.

1

Lan Wangji walked slowly towards the room where his uncle’s lectures were held. He had no reason to drag his feet – this was a chance to change the past for the better, to stop so many terrible things from happening – and yet, he couldn’t resist going even more slowly than usual. 

He was a little worried. So much rested on his shoulders.

What would be the right place to make the first change?

“Enjoy the lecture, Wangji,” his brother said as he passed him, returning from his own morning chores.

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said noncommittally.

“Wait,” Lan Xichen said, stopping and turning to look at him. “Hold on. What happened?”

Lan Wangji hesitated.

“Something big?”

“It isn’t –”

“How bad?” Lan Xichen’s eyes went wide. “That bad? How many people died?”

Lan Wangji winced – the answer was, of course, a very great deal, but that was all in the future and hadn’t happened yet – but Lan Xichen read the answer off of him at once.

“That many deaths couldn’t have happened without me knowing,” Lan Xichen said, clearly thinking it through. “And you were fine yesterday. Was it a dream? No, you wouldn’t panic over a dream. Did something happen at night –”

“I’ve returned from the future to change the past,” Lan Wangji blurted out. He couldn’t help it. He’d never been a good liar, and it’d been such a long time since he’d seen his brother so energic over anything…

“Oh,” Lan Xichen said, and visibly relaxed. “Okay. That’s fine. As long as you’re all right, and nobody’s died yet. Let me help?”

When he put it that way – how could Lan Wangji say no?

2

“Wangji?” his uncle called as he entered the hanshi. It was a little early for lectures to be finished – it must have been one of the shorter days, perhaps.

“In here, with me,” Lan Xichen called.

Lan Qiren entered, a worried furrow in his brow. “You missed the lecture. I was concerned.”

Lan Wangji bowed his head. He’d gotten so caught up with talking with his brother that he had forgotten – it was strange, to still have responsibilities that meant going places he was told to go, doing what he was told to do. It’d been years since he had been the one attending classes, rather than teaching them.

And Lan Xichen had acted so naturally about it all that he’d just forgotten. And in forgetting, he’d worried his uncle, which he hadn’t meant to do – his uncle had always meant well, even when they disagreed. He hadn’t allowed his affection for Lan Wangji to stop him from doing what he believed to be the right thing, such as in the battle against Wei Wuxian, but in every other instant he was often Lan Wangji’s staunchest ally within the sect.

It’d been his forceful arguments that had convinced the rest of the sect to allow a formal marriage between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, when Lan Wangji had been certain that the most he would ever get was a quiet understanding and being left alone.  

“Wangji’s returned from the future,” Lan Xichen announced. “He’s nearly as old as you are, and married.”

“Married?” Lan Qiren asked. “To who? That Wei boy?”

Lan Wangji turned to stare.

His uncle looked back at him. “What? Did you think you were being subtle?”

Lan Wangji opened and closed his mouth. He knew he wasn’t, of course, but he’d assumed his lack of subtlety had started…somewhat later in life. According to Lan Xichen, he hadn’t known Wei Wuxian for more than a week at this point.

“My relationship is not what I returned to fix,” he finally said. “There are other events –”

“It is that Wei boy!” His uncle looked – delighted? What? “An excellent choice, Wangji. You’re well matched.”

Lan Wangji felt his ears turning red. His uncle had certainly never said that to him in his past life.

Of course, if he had, Lan Wangji as he had been back then might have died of pure mortification, so it was probably for the best.

“You think so?” Lan Xichen asked. “He seems a bit – excitable –”

“It’ll be good for Wangji to have a challenge,” his uncle said, his eyes curving in a smile. “Someone to excite him every day.”

“I came to tell you about war,” Lan Wangji said, a little desperate to make them stop. “With the Wen sect -”

“The inevitability of war can wait,” Lan Qiren said. “First – do you have any children?”

“…one.”

“You have a child!” Lan Xichen exclaimed. “Wangji! You didn’t say! How wonderful! You have to tell us everything!”

Lan Wangji wondered exactly how he had reached this point.

3

Nie Huaisang had developed a new habit that Lan Wangji didn’t know what to make of.

It hadn’t happened in his first life – certainly not at the Cloud Recesses, but not at any other point thereafter – and that made it strange. For a little while, Lan Wangji was afraid that Nie Huaisang had also returned from the future, since he wouldn’t put it past the Headshaker to have figured out his own way back for his own purposes, but after feeling him out a little he didn’t think so.

But that made what he was doing all the stranger.

From what Lan Wangji remembered, Nie Huaisang had been a little afraid of him during this time, and had largely avoided him, preferring to spend time with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng. So why was he now following him around, talking about all manner of random things? He often didn’t even provide context for the subjects he brought up, and sometimes merely listed off names of people or places or even sometimes things. 

It was totally nonsensical.

At first, Lan Wangji tried to ignore him, but it had no impact whatsoever. Nie Huaisang just continued what he was doing.

In the end, Lan Wangji cracked first, turning to him all at once while they were walking alone in the garden - or, well, Lan Wangji was walking his patrols, and Nie Huaisang was tagging along. “What are you doing?”

“Getting answers,” Nie Huaisang answered promptly, as if he’d only been waiting for Lan Wangji to ask.

Lan Wangji frowned at him.

Nie Huaisang was still young at this point – young and lazy and frivolous. But Lan Wangji had seen what steel lay beneath, in the years to come, and he would not make the mistake of underestimating him as so many others did.

“What answers?” he asked. “To what questions?”

“I want to know the future, of course!” Nie Huaisang said. “And since it’s obvious that you know it, I’m picking your brain.”

Lan Wangji stared.

His brother figuring it out, he could understand. His uncle had been told directly. Wei Wuxian wouldn’t have surprised him, being both a genius and Lan Wangji’s soulmate. But – Nie Huaisang?

“How?” he asked.

“You very suddenly changed in how you reacted to things,” Nie Huaisang said with a shrug. “I tried to think of all the reasons there might be for it, given the constraints of time and place, and I’ve been testing and eliminating various options ever since. You wince when you think about someone who gets hurt eventually, you know.”

“…I do?”

Nie Huaisang nodded.

“Why are you telling me this?” Lan Wangji asked. The Nie Huaisang of the future was capable of an amazing degree of deception – he could not bring himself to believe that the younger version had been so careless by accident. Especially not with how eager he was to answer Lan Wangji’s questions.

“I want details,” Nie Huaisang said. “Obviously.”

“No.” Lan Wangji didn’t need to think twice about it. It was one thing to tell his family – he hadn’t planned to, but they knew him too well for him to avoid it – and entirely another to let the master schemer have such an advantage.

Nie Huaisang caught his arm. 

“I don’t think you entirely understand, Lan-er-gonzi,” he said. “You flinch whenever anyone says my brother’s name. I want to know why, and I want to stop it from happening.”

It shouldn’t have been a surprise to find that steel core so near to the surface, even this young, and yet somehow it was.

“And if I refuse?” he asked, more out of curiosity than anything else.

“You won’t. You have a big brother, too, and you flinch when his name gets said if you’re not paying attention.”

Nie Huaisang was really too smart.

“I won’t,” he agreed. “But supposing I did, what would have been your next step?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Nie Huaisang said. “I would have asked your brother to get it out of you.”

Lan Wangji sighed.

[plan-d-to-i]

(google translate again, yeah)

(I forgot to thank you for the last answer, I really didn't know that the drama used the music of my compatriot, it was a pleasant surprise for me)

I don't know if anyone has asked you this before, but do you think JC was good with WWX as a kid?

I mean not just their childhood, but the time of their training in Gusu.

I really love JC, and I understand perfectly well that he is the most dick in character, but I love him precisely during my studies at Gusu, I can not give any arguments that then JC was directly GOOD to WWX, but he is clearly cared a little about him and even ... worried? at least that moment after the punishment where JC helped WWX get to the room...

Yay - I'm so happy to hear about Stravinsky :)

Hahah loving jc as the dick that he is is the way to do it! go for it. :) also, sorry this was so delayed I wanted to reread the Cloud Recesses arc so it would be fresh in my mind before answering.

In terms of jc the Cloud Recesses arc is perhaps the most 'mellow' we see him aside from the Lotus Pod Extra but for me it's still impossible to find him a worthwhile person. I can already see the faults in his character that I know will only get worse as he grows older. Canonically I don't see how he would have any friends studying in the Cloud Recesses if he didn't come as a package deal w Wei Wuxian. I mean I doubt jiang cheng would have any friends without WWX period. In fact jiang cheng doesn't make any friends over the course of 13 years. He's also unable to find a wife bc of his temperament and behavior...

What we can glean about their relationship in the Cloud Recesses arc (and even the Lotus Pod Extra) is that any time WWX gets a kind word or understanding from someone, jiang cheng scoffs at it. Any time someone shits on WWX, jc is there to agree, to relish the idea of WWX being punished, and shit on him some more. He would be an immensely exhausting person to be around. He doesnt believe in WWX's ideas and ingenuity, (as NHS does for example), he doesn't believe WWX is hurt, he always assumes the worst of him, he doesn't believe LWJ might like WWX. The only thing he ever seems to believe is that WWX will dishonor YunmengJiang and that WWX should be punished. So for a kid who supposedly wants his father's approval so badly he instead constantly acts like his mother's mouthpiece/minion. He reprimands WWX like he's trying to become Madam Yu 2.0. I see jc stans all the time being like oh he had to keep WWX in check bc WWX was such a lOOooose canon, for the good of the Clan!! lol listen JFM didn't give a f...about WWX's behavior (in his letter to LQR) why are you so concerned? JFM would have preferred for jc to try & save his peers in the Xuanwu cave or at least to understand why that was the correct course of action rather than for him to just sit in front of the class in the Cloud Recesses and tell WWX off for giving LQR as good as he got, while actually still breaking the rules himself but eschewing punishment.

salt up here, quotes below :

Even when Nie Huaisang picks up on the fact that WWX is being treated unfairly by LQR, jc dismisses it and piles on WWX instead.

Nie Huaisang said, “Old Man Lan really seems like he’s coming down especially harshly on you. Every time he reprimands someone, it’s always you.” Jiang Cheng grunted. “He deserves it. What kind of answer was that? He can get away with saying that sort of nonsense at home, but he had the nerve to say it to Lan Qiren’s face. He was practically asking for the old man to kill him!”

But does WWX get away with ANYTHING in Lotus Pier? When we know he is punished constantly for EVERYTHING? This is jiang cheng fully being his mother's mouth piece. It's not something WWX would get away with, it's something jc knows JFM wouldn't mind. Which is why he's so pissed off. Which begs the question if JFM would not be upset with WWX's behavior why does jc need to criticize him? Again :

A dark expression shadowed Jiang Cheng’s face, and his voice was filled with anger. “Why are you so proud of yourself? What is there to be proud of?! Is being told to get out some amazing accomplishment? You’re making our entire clan lose face!”

and his glee at the idea that WWX will be punished leaves a bad taste in one's mouth considering how WWX was perpetually punished in Lotus Pier by jiang cheng's mother for... existing.

Jiang Cheng smiled grimly. “Now that you’ve thoroughly offended both Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren, you’re basically dead tomorrow. No one’s going to clean up your corpse either.”

and again

Without the old one, only the young one remained. This would be easy to deal with! Wei Wuxian rolled off the bed and laughed while putting on his boots. “Heaven’s charmed clouds are blessing me with shade.” Jiang Cheng was beside him polishing his sword with loving care when he decided to spill cold water over Wei Wuxian’s head. “Just wait until he gets back. You can’t escape punishment.”

Where others like NHS see value in WWX's thoughts

Nie Huaisang thought for a while. “Actually, I thought what you said was very interesting,” he said, not entirely able to hide his envy and yearning.

jc is always dismissive of WWX's ideas. These are inventions that WWX realizes. Demonic cultivation in the first conversation and The Spirit-Attraction Flag and The Compass of Evil in the second:

“Enough,” Jiang Cheng warned. “Whatever nonsense you spout, you better not head down that sort of dark road.”

-

Changing the topic, Wei Wuxian said, “If only there was something like fishing bait that could draw the water ghosts in. Or, something that could point in the direction they’re hiding, like a compass, that sort of thing.”

“Lower your head and watch the water,” Jiang Cheng said. “You’re letting your fantasies run wild again. Concentrate on looking for water ghosts like you’re supposed to.”

“Hey, mounting swords and flying was also only a fantasy once!” Wei Wuxian said.

He's also a hypocrite. Because even though he berates WWX for misbehaving, he himself breaks the rules. He drinks, he even goads WWX into buying liquor, the only difference is that he doesn't get punished for it, and he doesn't feel like coming forward and getting punished for it :

Naturally, Jiang Cheng was too embarrassed to talk about what Wei Wuxian had been up to. After all, all of them had egged him on to go and buy alcohol, and they all deserved to be punished as well. He could only speak vaguely. “It’s nothing. It’s nothing. It’s not that bad! He can walk. Wei Wuxian, why haven’t you gotten off yet?”

It's no wonder WWX is so impressed by LWJ's integrity in spite of his social status, when he's clearly used to the other dynamic :

“Lan Zhan, I really admire you,” Wei Wuxian said sincerely. “After I told you that you had to punish yourself too, you actually did it. You didn’t let yourself off at all. I can’t argue against that.”

A dynamic which is shown repeating in the Lotus Pod Extra where WWX is the only one to get punished for sunbathing, and which repeats here when Wei Wuxian here stops jiang cheng from confronting Zixuan over YanLi's honor (and jc's) and does it himself.

Zixuan :“Why don’t you ask what about her could make me satisfied?” he said in return.

Suddenly, Jiang Cheng rose. Wei Wuxian pushed him away and stepped between them, smiling coldly. “You think you’re very satisfactory? As though you have the right to be so picky!”

Zixuan: “If she’s unhappy, then let her break off the engagement! I certainly don’t cherish your wonderful disciple-sister. If you cherish her so much, why don’t you take it up with your father? Doesn’t he love you more than his own son?”

After hearing the last sentence, Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrowed, and Wei Wuxian was no longer able to contain his own fury. He flew at Jin Zixuan, his fist raised.

WWX takes the punishment alone. Same way he offers to do when he hurts himself falling from a tree because jc threatened him with dogs. meanwhile jc is gleeful to see him being punished.

[Wei Wuxian] was kneeling on the stretch of pebble road to which Lan Qiren had assigned him when Jiang Cheng walked over from afar and mocked him. “You’re kneeling so obediently.”

“It’s not like you don’t know I have to do this all the time.” Wei Wuxian’s voice filled with schadenfreude. “But this Jin Zixuan guy, there’s no way he hasn’t been pampered and spoiled rotten since birth. No one’s ever forced him to kneel, I’m sure of it. If he doesn’t wind up crying for mommy and daddy today, I’m not named Wei.”....

Wei Wuxian "...It’s a good thing you didn’t do anything.”

“I was going to. If you hadn’t pushed me away, the other side of Jin Zixuan’s face would be hideous too.”

“Stop it. His face is uglier for being lopsided."

WWX is happy to have spared jc from getting into trouble but jc makes the whole thing about himself anyway (like everything else ever) and is upset JFM would rush over for WWX - in his mind. Even though JFM clearly had to rush over to meet with Jin Guangshan not to coddle WWX in any way.

"Jiang Fengmian had never rushed to another clan in less than a day because of him. Regardless of whether what happened was big or small, or good or bad." Never

WWX on the other hand tries to be observant of jc's feelings and reassure him & distract him from his moods :

When Wei Wuxian saw Jiang Cheng’s melancholy expression, he thought he was still upset with what Jin Zixuan said. “You should leave. You don’t need to keep me company any longer. If Lan Wangji comes again, he’ll catch you. If you have time, you should find Jin Zixuan and watch his pitiful kneeling.”

Later in the book after nearly dying in the Xuanwu cave WWX leaves his sick bed to run after jc and comfort him after his mother's rant, even though WWX had to listen to his parents (and himself) being slandered by YZY. jc doesn't spare any thoughts for how other people might be feeling or suffering. His entire perception of the world is centered around himself. To him even WWX's greatest fear doesn't generate empathy, only amusement or later on a form of torture.

From that point onward, they made trouble everywhere together, and if they encountered a dog, Jiang Cheng would always chase it away for him, then enjoy a peal of derisive, unbridled laughter at Wei Wuxian’s expense beneath whichever tree the boy had leapt atop.

he grew up on the streets, often having to fight for food with vicious dogs. After several bites and chases, he gradually became extremely scared of all dogs, no matter the size. Jiang Cheng laughed at him because of this quite a lot of times.

This brings me to the last point. jc's resentment of WWX's interest in Lan Zhan, or in a serious friendship outside of him. I see so many ppl say that bc WWX fought he was kicked out of the Cloud Recesses early... but was he?

Jiang Cheng was somewhat taken aback. “Lan Wangji? What was he doing here? He still has the nerve to come see you again?”

“Yeah, I think his bravery is laudable if he still has the nerve to come see me. His uncle probably told him to check on me and see if I was kneeling properly.”

Jiang Cheng’s instincts were sending him ominous signals. “So were you kneeling properly?”

“I was then,” Wei Wuxian replied. “But I waited for him to walk away a bit, then took a tree branch, lowered my head, and dug out a hole in the dirt near me. It’s the pile right by your foot—there are ant tunnels there. It took me so much effort to find them. Anyway, I waited for him to turn back and see my shoulders shaking. He had to have thought I was crying, so he came back and asked. You should have seen his face when he caught sight of the ant tunnels!

“…” Jiang Cheng said, “Why don’t you just get the hell out and go back to Yunmeng? I bet he never wants to see you again.”

Thus, that evening, Wei Wuxian packed up his things, got the hell out, and went back to Yunmeng with Jiang Fengmian.

Repeatedly throught his stay in the Cloud Recesses even while NHS was observing that LWJ's behavior around WWX was strange and unique, jc was telling WWX he is hated and bothersome. When WWX wanted to apologize to LWJ jc is completely dismissive of it :

“He hates me already? I was thinking of apologizing to him,” Wei Wuxian said.

“Oh, so you want to apologize now? It’s too late!” Jiang Cheng said derisively. “He’s exactly like his uncle. He thinks you’ve been wicked ever since you were an embryo, so it’s beneath his dignity to pay you any attention.”

Later on when WWX mentioned wanting to invite LWJ to Lotus Pier jc categorically says no.

“Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

BONUS

jc also always doubts WWX. He suspects him immediately of wrongdoings. He doesn't believe that getting hit with the discipline ruler in Cloud Recesses actually hurt him until LXC confirms that WWX might take more than a few days to heal. He doesn't understand WWX is in actual trouble from the Waterborne abyss and assumes he's fooling around luckily Lan Zhan is there to rescue him:

The disciple’s lower body had already been swallowed by the black whirlpool. It spun faster and faster, and he continued to sink deeper and deeper, as though something hidden beneath the water was pulling down on his legs.

Mounted on Sandu, Jiang Cheng had risen calmly until he was about sixty meters above the whirlpool before he looked down. Filled with displeasure at what he saw, he shouted and dove down. “What are you up to now?!”

The suction force inside Lake Biling grew ever stronger. Wei Wuxian’s sword was optimized for agility, and consequently, its strength happened to fall just short, and they were nearly pulled to the surface of the lake. Wei Wuxian steadied himself and held on to Su She with both hands.

“Someone help! If I can’t pull him up soon, I’ll have to let go!” he shouted.

Suddenly, the back of Wei Wuxian’s collar tightened, and his body was lifted into the air. He twisted his neck and saw Lan Wangji holding him up with one hand.

He maintains this same mindset when he tries to whip LWJ and WWX as they're attempting to leave Lotus Pier after the ancestral hall confrontation when WWX passes out.

Is jc evil in the Cloud Recesses ? No. He's just an annoying, basic, disagreeable asshole who doesn't bring anything positive to someone like WWX. People like jc become obsessed with kind, outgoing, generous people, people who don't set boundaries on what they give and what others take in their friendships. Even though they're dependent on them for their social interactions, because who else would socialize with them willingly, they resent them in equal measure, but at the same time they wouldn't be drawn to another selfish, self centered piece of shit person like themselves.

On a personal note, even Cloud Recesses jiang cheng is someone I would exclude from any personal friend group. Friendship with him is adding a minefield of jealousies and snide comments to every interaction. Things that then others will need to compensate around because he won't compromise or empathize w issues outside of his own concerns.

Translation source : x

[bloody-bee-tea]

Get Together

This fic was also inspired by this prompt from @mingcheng-prompts​

Jiang Cheng stares at the letter in his hands.

“You can’t be serious,” he says, but when he raises his eyes at Nie Mingjue he seems deadly serious.

“Of course I am,” Nie Mingjue replies and pushes a scroll towards him. “My courtship gift.”

Jiang Cheng blinks but doesn’t move.

He knows he can’t say yes—could never, not with everything that happened—but he wants to.

Jiang Cheng learned to appreciate Nie Mingjue over the course of the last few gruesome weeks, learned to rely on him and trust him to have his back in battle—and yes, maybe even fell in love with him—so of course he wants to say yes.

But he can’t.

“I have nothing,” he tells Nie Mingjue and doesn’t make a move for the scroll. “My Sect burned. My parents died. My people are scattered.”

He’s not even sure he still has Wei Wuxian.

“There is nothing I can give you.”

“Good thing then, that I’m here for you and not your Sect or for what you can give me,” Nie Mingjue easily replies and doesn’t seem put off in the least.

“No,” Jiang Cheng tells him, though the word barely makes it out of his mouth.

Nie Mingjue observes him in silence for a few minutes, before he sags with a sigh.

“I respect your wish,” he says but he still pushes the scroll closer to Jiang Cheng. “You should still take this. Consider it a gift from one Sect Leader to another, if you must.”

“I shouldn’t take this,” Jiang Cheng replies as he gets up.

If he accepts this, and finds something thoughtful, something useful, something he would like, then his resolve will crumble.

And he can’t afford that. They are still at war. His Sect is still barely more than ground into dust.

“Nie-zongzhu,” he bows low, before he walks out of the tent, away from Nie Mingjue, without looking back.

Jiang Cheng wonders not for the first time when fate will stop taking things away from him.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng has to admit that he thought things would change between him and Nie Mingjue with the rejected courtship, but they don’t.

Nie Mingjue treats him the same as before, except that now Jiang Cheng flushes whenever Nie Mingjue comes close or smiles at him or is simply nice to him.

Jiang Cheng is flushing a lot, even though the war is still raging.

He really wishes he could have said yes to Nie Mingjue.

~*~*~

Fate does not stop taking things from Jiang Cheng. First his brother-in-law, then his sister and to top it off his brother as well.

The only thing left is Jin Ling.

And—inexplicably—Nie Mingjue.

“What do you want?” Jiang Cheng asks, a shade of desperation to his voice, because Jin Ling won’t stop crying and Jiang Cheng is inevitably going to fuck him up, just like he fucks up everything else.

“I’m here with an offer of courtship,” Nie Mingjue says and puts another letter and the same scroll on the table.

Jiang Cheng wonders if Nie Mingjue lost his mind.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he hisses, allowing the anger to take over instead of giving in to the want and hurt.

“Nothing. I simply have made up my mind about what I want. And what I want is you.”

He sounds completely serious as he says it, too, and Jiang Cheng wonders if Nie Mingjue lost his sanity on the battlefield.

“Look around you, Nie-zongzhu,” he snaps out, aware that Jin Ling flinches at his tone and Nie Mingjue at the title.

Jiang Cheng tries to calm Jin Ling down and tries to ignore Nie Mingjue and his reaction as best as he can.

If he calls him anything but Nie-zongzhu then he’ll crumble and give in. And he can’t do that.

“I have nothing left in my life,” Jiang Cheng belatedly finishes and Nie Mingjue frowns.

“That’s not true. You have your nephew and your Sect. That is not nothing. And you have me, too, if you accept the courtship or not.”

“Why are you so—” Jiang Cheng wants to say ‘good’ but the word chokes him up.

Nie Mingjue seems to understand it anyway.

“Because you deserve it.”

“I don’t,” Jiang Cheng says over Jin Ling’s head, the boy still crying and Jiang Cheng woefully unprepared to deal with him.

“I think you do,” Nie Mingjue softly says and then stands up to correct Jiang Cheng’s grasp on Jin Ling.

It doesn’t immediately calm him down, but Jiang Cheng feels more secure holding Jin Ling like that and the small kindness is enough to bring tears to his eyes.

“I can’t,” Jiang Cheng whispers, and hides his face in Jin Ling’s baby hair. “I can’t.”

There’s a brief silence where Jiang Cheng thinks that Nie Mingjue will simply storm out on him, but then he feels lips pressed against the crown of his head.

“I’ll be here when you can,” Nie Mingjue promises him right before he leaves.

Jiang Cheng can’t bear to watch him go, and it’s only much, much later that he realizes that while Nie Mingjue took the letter with the official courtship, he left the scroll behind.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t touch it.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng is shaking as he steps off Sandu and if he’s not careful he’s going to crush the scroll in his hand.

Maybe it would be better anyway.

“Where is Nie Mingjue?” he demands to know from the first disciple that has the guts to step close and to their credit, he is immediately led to a study room.

“What the fuck is this?” he hisses as he throws the scroll at Nie Mingjue. “What the hell are you up to?”

It seems like he caught Nie Mingjue off guard because the scroll hits him square in the chest but when he lowers his gaze at it, understanding crosses his face.

“It’s a gift,” Nie Mingjue slowly says and picks the scroll out of his robes to put it on the table.

“A gift,” Jiang Cheng hisses. “Preparing me for the fact that you’re planning to invade us?”

It’s—just the thought makes Jiang Cheng sick, because he barely had time to build Lotus Pier back up again. He only managed the most necessary buildings so far.

Not to mention the fact that he trusted Nie Mingjue, that he thought he was in love with him.

“It’s nothing like that,” Nie Mingjue reassures him and Jiang Cheng has to give it to him, he stays remarkably calm.

“Then explain what it is!” Jiang Cheng demands and Nie Mingjue sighs.

“I mean, I guess it was intended that way, once, when we first started? But it’s not anymore. We keep track of the layout of all the Sects. I know you all thought us stupid but Qinghe Nie always expected a war ever since Wen Ruohan first came into power centuries ago. We made it a habit to sketch out every Sect’s layout so that in the case of a war we could help them rebuild. None of you are as sturdy as we are.”

It’s a sensible explanation and it makes sense, Jiang Cheng guesses, but the hurt about the perceived threat from Nie Mingjue of all people still sits deep.

“Why give it to me?”

Nie Mingjue stares at him as if he’s stupid, and Jiang Cheng thinks that’s probably fair.

“It was supposed to be a courtship gift; my gift to help you rebuild Lotus Pier like it used to be if you wished it so. You rejected me, twice, and I thought it cruel to keep this from you despite that.”

Jiang Cheng can’t keep Nie Mingjue’s eyes any longer and so he stares down at the scroll again.

He had looked at it, of course, and he had studied it very carefully; there were paths and buildings on that plan that even he didn’t remember.

“Show me the other ones,” Jiang Cheng says, because he needs the proof that this was not simply to attack him again, now that Yunmeng Jiang is weakened beyond belief.

Nie Mingjue simply nods and leads Jiang Cheng to a huge library. It seems like Nie Mingjue knows his way around here very well, because there’s no hesitation as he makes his way over to a shelf and gets three more scrolls out.

“We even have one of the Wen Sect, in case someone more sensible ever took over once Wen Ruohan inevitably destroyed everything,” he says as he hands the scrolls to Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng opens all three of them, just to be sure, but they are what Nie Mingjue promised.

“You wanted to help us rebuild,” Jiang Cheng whispers and Nie Mingjue shrugs.

“Qinghe Nie always wanted to help in the case of war,” he agrees and before Jiang Cheng can snap at him that he is deliberately misunderstanding him, he goes on. “But yes. I specifically wanted to help you rebuild.”

“Why?”

“It was supposed to be a courtship gift, remember?” Nie Mingjue asks with a sad smile and takes the scrolls back from Jiang Cheng.

“But why?” Jiang Cheng asks again, because that’s the part he doesn’t get.

Everyone left him alone; his family is dead, Lanling Jin is just waiting for him to die or move a toe out of line, Gusu Lan is too busy rebuilding themselves and for all that Nie Mingjue tried to court him—twice—even Qinghe Nie didn’t so much as offer help.

Well, Jiang Cheng guesses he has to rethink that part, because clearly Nie Mingjue did want to help.

“Why me?”

“Because you’re fierce and beautiful and strong. You’re a natural leader, you’re a good Sect Leader, a good uncle. Because I admire you and I’m in love with you,” Nie Mingjue easily says as if it means nothing to him to say all of that out loud, about Jiang Cheng of all people.

It means the world to Jiang Cheng.

“Ask me again,” he whispers, begs almost, because he’s tired of keeping himself from this.

He’s tired of rebuilding and of raising Jin Ling and having to do it all alone and if Nie Mingjue wants this, still, after Jiang Cheng was already stupid twice, then he’ll take it.

He will allow himself at least this happiness.

“Jiang Wanyin, will you let me court you?” Nie Mingjue asks without hesitation and just the thought that Nie Mingjue waited even though Jiang Cheng rejected him twice, that he still wants him, brings tears to Jiang Cheng’s eyes.

“Yes, please,” he breathes out and Nie Mingjue doesn’t waste any time before he pulls him into a tight hug.

“Thank you,” he mutters into Jiang Cheng’s hair as if he’s the blessed one here, when really, Jiang Cheng can’t believe that he should get this lucky.

“I’m sorry I was stupid,” Jiang Cheng says into Nie Mingjue’s shoulder.

“You weren’t. There was a lot going on, and I understand,” Nie Mingjue reassures him and Jiang Cheng slings his arms around his middle.

“I like you, too,” Jiang Cheng belatedly says, and even though he’s not yet ready to tell Nie Mingjue that he’s in love with him, too, it doesn’t seem to matter to Nie Mingjue.

“That’s good to hear,” Nie Mingjue gives back, and pushes Jiang Cheng away from him, just far enough to duck down and press a light kiss to his lips.

“We’re going to take this slow, okay? Rebuilding first.”

Jiang Cheng has difficulties swallowing around the lump in his throat, so he simply nods, grateful that Nie Mingjue seems to understand what he so desperately needs.

His Sect back to a point where he doesn’t have to fear for their simple survival every night, and a reassuring, steady presence at his side.

“Thank you,” he says again with feeling and Nie Mingjue smiles at him.

“Always,” he promises.

And for once in Jiang Cheng’s life, someone keeps that promise.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[nillegible]

It wasn't supposed to hurt him. Ouyang Zizhen had used the talisman before, on his sister and his sister's idiot fiance (Now he was her fiance. Before the talisman, he'd just been a shixiong who absolutely refused to confess his feelings to her). In retrospect perhaps it was unkind. A talisman that was meant to force you to confess what you were hiding from the other person? Jiujiu would have smacked him for even thinking about using it.

Jin Ling would punish himself if it would help, would do anything, to snap the talisman, or to get his stupid uncle to just say his stupid secret, because right now?

Right now, his uncle is choking on his secret, literally forcing it down by strength of will alone while Wei Wuxian flutters around desperately, trying to destroy the talisman and Hanguang Jun plays his guqin. The spiritual energy from the Lan musical technique is so heavy that Jin Ling's skin buzzes with every note, and it's even more concentrated on the three older cultivators, visible threads of it sparking over their skin.

Jiujiu still looks like he is in agony, breaths harsh and ragged, choking, his face screwed up, twisted, awful.

"Jiang Cheng please, please, just spit it out, I don't care what you still blame me for, I don't care just say it," Wei Wuxian begs, but it's no use, his uncle shakes his head no, and Jin Ling covers his own mouth to stifle a sob. He hadn't listened when Jin Ling begged, either.

It's such a simple talisman, so terribly simple a compulsion that it's not meant to be fought or broken. Powered by the strength of the secret and the spiritual energy of the person it was affixed to… Jin Ling hadn't known it was possible to even try.

"Jiang Wanyin," says Hanguang Jun. He has to say it again to get his uncle's attention. "Let me help." His uncle stares blearily for a few moments, then nods again. Abruptly, even the gasping choked off noises break off, and Jin Ling rushes closer, but he's okay. He's still okay, slumping a little and leaning onto Wei Wuxian in exhaustion, but alive.

"Wei Ying," says Hanguang Jun, and apparently that means something to his other uncle, because Wei Wuxian immediately turns his attention back to paper he'd been scribbling on, and continues.

It takes Wei Wuxian a full hour more to break the compulsion, for his uncle to collapse sideways like a broken puppet onto him, and cough up mouthfuls of blood while Wei Wuxian rubs his back. "Thank you, Hanguang Jun," says Jiujiu.

Then he looks up at Jin Ling, who is frozen in place, not sure if he should run or fall to his knees and apologize, and holds out a hand. Jin Ling throws himself forward and hugs his uncle sobbing his apologies. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."

“Stupid,” Jiujiu says, voice hoarse, but he doesn’t let go of Jin Ling until he falls unconscious, and Wei Wuxian disentangles him from the half embrace – Jiujiu’s other arm was clutching Wei Wuxian’s robes, tightly – and lifts him into his arms.

“He’ll be okay, right?” asks Jin Ling, a bit pathetically. This was all his fault, after all.

“Jiang Cheng will be fine,” says Wei Wuxian.

When Jin Ling thinks back to this moment, he will realize that Wei Wuxian sounded oddly broken, not just tired.

*

It turns out that Jin Ling had actually ruined everything. He’d been sure that his uncles cared for one another, he’d watched the weird way they held each other at arm’s length but seemed desperate for more, and only wanted to help them out. Whatever it is they were keeping a secret couldn’t be worth it right? Wei Wuxian was back from the dead. He was, not Jin Ling’s mom or dad or anyone else. Jin Ling had only wanted them to make the most of it.

Instead, all Jin Ling does is show Wei Wuxian that Jiujiu has some giant terrible secret that he would rather tear his lips bloody trying to suppress than admit to, and Wei Wuxian seems to give up. He’s cautious around Jiujiu after that, He’s polite. And that only makes Jiujiu angrier and frostier in turn.

This is not what had happened to Ouyang Zizhen’s sister and her husband! (They’d gotten married in the spring, Jin Ling had even gone to their wedding.)

Perhaps Jin Ling should have considered what would happen if the secret was a bad one.

“Would you tell me?” asks Jin Ling. He’s treading on dangerous ground here. Jiujiu hasn’t punished him for the stunt ( “You’re a Sect Leader now, brat, you pick your own consequences,” he’d said, and Jin Ling had assigned himself a lot more make sure Jiujiu is recovering okay missions, whenever he could make the time) and he doesn’t want to remind him to.

“Of course not,” he snaps, Zidian sparking in hollow threat on his finger. At least he scowls? When Jiujiu isn’t busy being angry, he’s been strangely melancholy, recently. Jin Ling hates that, too.

*

It’s Hanguang Jun that Jin Ling approaches in the end. Oddly, he’s the one who’s angriest at him, Wei Wuxian had just waved off his apologies and asked him to introduce him to the maker of the talismans, and never mentioned it again.

“I really am sorry,” Jin Ling tells him. “I want to know how to fix it.”

Hanguang Jun is silent for a long time, and Jin Ling braces himself for dismissal, to be told he can’t, that it was his fault in the first place, he should stay away from Hanguang Jun’s husband.

“It is hard to speak when you are afraid,” Hanguang Jun observes. Which, what? Yes, of course. But why now? Jin Ling nods uncertainly. “Why should Jiang Wanyin be afraid of Wei Ying?”

Oh. Huh? “He’s not, he’s never…” Jin Ling trails off, uncertain. He’d grown up secure in the knowledge that Uncle Jiang would protect him from the evil Yiling Patriarch. That he wasn;t afraid of him. Things were apparently far more complicated than that, but Jiujiu had never been afraid of Wei Wuxian. So why wouldn’t he tell the secret. What did he think his secret would do, that hasn’t happened already? They barely even look at each other anymore! Hanguang Jun just keeps his steady gaze on Jin Ling, waiting for an answer. “Um. He was afraid… to hurt him?” asks Jin Ling.

He gets a slight nod in affirmation.

“You’d think Senior Wei would know all the awful things already,” Jin Ling says, quietly. Wei Wuxian’s life kind of sucked.

“Sometimes, it isn’t the terrible things that hurt,” says Hanguang Jun.

Jin Ling peers at him closely. “Does Hanguang Jun know my uncle’s secret?” he asks.

“No,” he says, and explains nothing further. “And Wei Ying does not.” He looks up then, over Jin Ling’s head, towards the door. “Wei Ying does not need to know, if he trusts Jiang Wanyin.”

Wei Wuxian laughs, lightly. “Who would have thought Lan Zhan would be defending Jiang Cheng some day, hm?”

“He’s right, Wei Qianbei,” Jin Ling hurries to say. “Jiujiu cares for you. He says awful things, he’ll say, ‘You’re a stupid brat, who raised you, I should break your legs’ but he doesn’t mean any of it. Except maybe the stupid part.”

Wei Wuxian laughs again, then drops a hand to Jin Ling’s head. “I know, A-Ling,” he says, the name sounding so fond when he says it. “He’s my brother, and that part of him hasn’t changed.”

“He hasn’t changed,” says Jin Ling, fiercely. Jiujiu is the only constant in Jin Ling’s life, he wouldn’t just become something else.

“He has though,” says Wei Wuxian softly. “He’s all grown up, now. The last time I saw him, he was little older than you. And look at him now, keeping secrets from his shixiong.”

“I don’t believe he ever called you that,” says Jin Ling, because his nose is sour and he doesn’t want to cry.

“No, no, you’re right, he didn’t,” says Wei Wuxian, a little more cheerfully.

*

They put themselves back together slowly. Wei Wuxian makes an effort to reach out again, far more determined this time. With some pointed nudging from Jin Ling, Jiujiu tries his best to meet him half way.

It’s not easy. There is. There is so much between them that Jin Ling will never understand, broken promises and dead family, and debts that can never be repaid.

It shouldn’t be possible, to put all of that aside and start anew. Especially not for Jiujiu, who held his grudges forever, and didn’t quite believe in second chances.

They had once been the twin prides of Yunmeng though.

They don’t care that it shouldn’t be possible.

They do it anyway.

[Inspired by this post because holy shit I love Yunmeng Pride reconciliation fics so incredibly much, but it’s not always about divulging that secret really, is it? I just wanted to write one which is definitely about that secret but also not if that makes any sense. I’m not sure if I succeeded, if I confused you I apologize.]

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

A collection of fics I’ve read (/reread) and thoroughly enjoyed in the past week-ish from all kinds of fandoms and genres.

ATLA

Fire Lily Oil by mindbending                

There’s an assassin in Sparky’s bedroom. It’s the only explanation for the extra heartbeat. The sounds of exertion. The ominous thumping of furniture. Fueled by both duty and friendship, Toph crashes in, ready for battle-

Only to get smacked by a faceful of Sokka’s new perfume.

Ambassador Sokka and His Very Bad (Turned Very Good) Idea by gaydaractivate04

Part 1 of The Adventures of Ambassador Sokka    

The war is officially over. With Fire Lord Ozai and his daughter dead, Fire Lord Zuko now takes the throne.

He takes the throne, and sets to fixing the destruction left over from the war, starting with his own people and ending with everyone else's.

That was how Sokka found himself, the next chief of the Southern Water Tribe, negotiating new treaties in the heart of the Fire Nation with the new Fire Lord.

Who, if he must say, is really good looking for a guy who spent the last few years in the cells beneath the palace.

BNHA

For The Greater Good by Cornflower_Blue       

Of course, from the moment he knew One For All was passable, Izuku had carried a quiet hope that All Might would pick him. But until that moment in the sunset, it had always been more like a far off fantasy, a bedtime story he would tell himself at night. How could he hold a candle to someone like Kacchan, who had the perfect heroic quirk that would only add to One For All.

But All Might had seen something in him, and Izuku had promised himself he would never let his hero regret giving him that chance at his dream.

He did kinda wish he had agreed to let All Might’s team install the panic button in his phone back when his name had been leaked though.

Harry Potter

the end of being alone by rexcorvidae                

When Harriet Potter asks Hagrid questions about her parents that he doesn't know the answers to, he directs her to one of their old friends, and in doing so changes the course of history.

The Happy Smiles Recipe by MayMarlow                

After Sirius's death Dumbledore is ready to send Harry once again back to the Dursleys. Molly Weasley is not about to let that happen.

Untamed

Five Dogs, One Cat by ryfkah (+ podfic)     

If you’ve ever believed me in anything, believe I want what’s best for Jin Ling, the first line of the letter reads.

Jiang Cheng has to stop and take a moment before he continues on to the next line:

 You must come to Carp Tower as soon as you can and lavish praise on the ugliest dog I’ve ever seen.

  scatter and sunder by silversshadow               

When Wei Wuxian dies at the Burial Mounds the backlash tears his soul apart.

The cultivation world is left to watch the pieces.

TMA

nor any more youth or age than there is now by Ravenesta    

The local Primary school has a new teacher. He is, to say the very least, odd.

A series of statements regarding the interactions of the townsfolk with one Jonathan Sims, never formally given.

"Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?" - How the Magnus Institute learned to embrace the IT ticketing system, upgraded their antivirus, and still found the time to teach one old man how to copy and paste by shinyopals

Part 2 of The Magnus Institute vs the 21st Century: a series of emails and IMs

I hope you find your new role as Head of the Institute as rewarding as captaining the Tundra, wrote Elias Bouchard, to Peter Lukas. There are so many people working there: all with their own interesting lives, and all desiring your attention and support. I'm sure you will relish the challenge it will bring and enjoy every moment spent with the fine men and women of the Institute. In time I'm confident they'll become like a family to you.

The Magnus Institute has a new boss. The Magnus Institute also has a new tech support technician. These two facts are unrelated, except they both happen at the same time.

Meanwhile Jon's woken up from being dead for six months and for once he's trying his best. He just wishes Martin would stop avoiding him and answer his messages...

TMA/TUA

just stopped believing in happy endings by  chahakyn              

“I know that. I’m just…” Sissy frowns, biting her lower lip. “I just wonder whether staying here would hurt less than going out there.”

Vanya covers Sissy’s hand with her own, turning to kiss the inside of her palm.

“It’ll hurt equally either way. Does it matter to you, as long as we’re together?”

-

The Archivist Vanya Hargreeves goes on a journey to hunt down her Avatar siblings in their respective Fear Domains post-Watcher's Crown.

(A Magnus Archives AU)

[ibijau]

Lapse in memory pt 3 / on AO3

aka the fic where nhs is cursed into amnesia a few years post canon, and came to lxc for help

The worst part of Nie Huaisang’s amnesia, Lan Xichen soon decided, was the realisation that he should have seen long ago that there was something wrong with Nie Mingjue’s little brother.

Although the other man had apparently always possessed frightening self control which made it difficult to know how much his current loss of memory impacted him, he used that control in a manner very different from what he had done after the death of his brother. Instead of displaying eternal sorrow and helplessness, Nie Huaisang was acting exactly the same as he had done before his life took a turn for the worst. He smiled, and chatted with people as if things were perfectly fine, only to break down once alone with Lan Xichen, asking when this person had died, whether that remark had been a joke or a reference to a true event. 

If he hadn't known better, if he hadn't been shown the other side Lan Xichen might have fallen for that new comedy as he had fallen for the old one. Nie Huaisang was good at this.

In fact, as Lan Xichen started remembering over the following days, he was good at many things. 

For example Nie Huaisang was smart, it turned out. After a decade of lies, Lan Xichen had forgotten that, too used to a man who barely managed to pick his own outfits without needing three different opinions, and would make four mistakes in a two digit addition. And indeed, when it came to cultivation, or when Wei Wuxian tried to discuss his ideas about what curse might have hit him, Nie Huaisang was clearly lost. But when the topic interested him, when someone mentioned art or literature, he spoke expertly and always made excellent points. 

Because he had his own duties to attend, and he aimed at being a better sect leader than he had been in the past, Lan Xichen spent little time with Nie Huaisang at first, and thus rarely enjoyed his conversation. Since the other man couldn’t be allowed to wander freely when there was still the possibility that all this was only a deception, Lan Xichen assigned one of his young disciples he trusted the most to stay with Nie Huaisang and make sure he didn’t misbehave. Almost immediately, he started hearing about the heated debates that Lan Jingyi and Nie Huaisang got into over classics, over art, over just anything that could be debated, and quite a few that shouldn’t. Lan Xichen had offered to find another person to keep Nie Huaisang company, only for Nie Huaisang to protest he was having great fun with Lan Jingyi.

It surprised Lan Xichen at first. Nie Huaisang wasn’t a man who enjoyed confrontation.

But he had once been a boy who did. Nie Mingjue used to complain at length about that, as did Lan Qiren when he’d had the dubious pleasure of teaching him. Nie Huaisang once had opinions on just about everything, especially if it could get him out of doing something he didn’t enjoy. Lan Xichen had found it amusing for a long time, and even he had been tricked into the odd argument here and there. But then there had been the war, there had been the constant worsening of Nie Mingjue’s temper, and Nie Huaisang’s tendency to argue over everything hadn’t felt so cute anymore.

After those difficult final few months, it had been a relief, in a way, when Nie Huaisang’s grief had made him so mild and pliable. He had never objected to any advice given to him, agreeing to everything and anything that Nie Mingjue’s sworn brothers suggested. If Lan Xichen hadn’t been so devastated by the loss they had both suffered, perhaps he would have noticed something was wrong.

Perhaps it was guilt, then, that soon pushed Lan Xichen to rearrange his schedule so he could spend a little more time with Nie Huaisang every day. He refused to let him down again. Or perhaps it was selfishness, the joy of having an old friend back in his life, someone who didn't know about his failings, and didn't judge him for being imperfect. 

"Imperfection is more fun," Nie Huaisang claimed one evening, as they sat together inside the Hanshi's courtyard, watching a pair of swallows build a nest under the rafters. "I like you better when you're not trying to be Zewu-jun. Zewu-Jun is a very boring person, while Lan Xichen is delightful company. Do you remember how we used to laugh sometimes when I came here to study? You did such a good imitation of your uncle. And you'd help me with my homeworks, and I'd let you have candies… wasn't that more fun than being perfect?"

"I miss those days," Lan Xichen admitted, something he had never told anyone except Jin Guangyao, once. He'd instantly regretted it back then, realising that Jin Guangyao had never had a chance to enjoy a carefree youth. He didn't regret telling Nie Huaisang who laughed so hard he startled the swallows, making them fly away for a moment. 

"Of course you miss that! Well, I'm back now, and until I'm better I can give you a taste of how it used to be. If I make you laugh enough, you'll stop being angry at me, right?"

“I’m not angry at you,” Lan Xichen said, which to his surprise wasn’t even a lie. This young and innocent Nie Huaisang, whose biggest crime was cheating during exams, who hadn’t yet discovered his own viciousness through fighting with Nie Mingjue and then for him, who could be irritating but always remained endearing… how could Lan Xichen have been angry at him?

“But you’re angry at the man I’ve become,” Nie Huaisang said.

Lan Xichen looked at him, that handsome young man sitting just a little too close, leaning somewhat toward Lan Xichen and yet tense enough that at the first sign of anger he’d probably leap away and disappear, the way he used to do with Nie Mingjue.

Lan Xichen wondered again how he had forgotten how observant Nie Huaisang could be. He should have known. The moment Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji told him that something terrible had been done to Nie Mingjue’s body, Lan Xichen should have guessed that Nie Huaisang knew as well, and that he’d be doing anything to avenge his brother.

“I think I’m more angry at myself than at you,” Lan Xichen said. “What happened, what you’ve done, it was… Maybe you really had no choice, or you thought you had no choice anyway, and I’m not sure I have a right to judge you. You… you still don’t remember, do you?”

“No. I don’t think I want to,” Nie Huaisang said. He started playing nervously with his sleeve, having forgotten his fan somewhere, and hesitantly spoke again. “I don’t think he wanted to remember either,” he whispered. “Him. Me. I… I don’t think it was an accident, Er-ge. I think I forgot on purpose.”

Startled by the confession, Lan Xichen stared again at Nie Huaisang who avoided his eyes. He looked pale, and started shaking slightly, as if again expecting a burst of anger that didn’t come. Lan Xichen was too stunned for that.

“When did you start suspecting this?”

“Right away,” Nie Huaisang confessed, nervously playing with his sleeve, pulling and tugging at the fabric. “It was just too odd that there was nothing at all about those lost years. I found some recent correspondence which let me know I wasn’t on very good terms with you, Jiang Cheng and Jin zongzhu, but that was it. And I know myself, Er-ge. I’ve kept a journal of everything I do since I was seven. Everything important, I write it down so I remember, I should have had a trace of those missing years.”

Lan Xichen nodded. Nie Huaisang had mentioned that habit of his, back when he was studying in the Cloud Recesses. Back then he’d complained that too little happened and he had nothing to write down, but also that homework and studying took so long he almost didn’t have time for his diary. Lan Xichen hadn’t realised that the habit was such a serious one, and he’d never heard Nie Huaisang mention it again as an adult, so he hadn’t thought to ask about that.

“Could it be that you simply stopped doing this?” Lan Xichen asked.

Nie Huaisang shook his head and frowned.

“It’s not just a hobby. My memory isn’t great, I really forget things if I don’t write them down. Everything important… in code if it's too important, of course, I’m only a little stupid. And I hid the journal, and kept all of them, from the very first. I’m the only one who knew where they’re all kept, but when I went to check, many of them had been destroyed, or at least moved somewhere else. Everything after the Sunshot Campaign is gone. Maybe he hoped to forget the war too.”

Not so much the war as what had happened just before it, Lan Xichen thought. He’d heard about the way hostage juniors had been treated by the Wens, and the horror of the Xuanwu of Slaughter killing people in that cave. Nie Huaisang had never wanted to talk about that, Lan Xichen recalled. He usually loved to complain, but on that particular topic he’d always close off or change the subject.

Aside from the death of Nie Mingjue, the terror of the evil Xuanwu had to have been the worst moment of Nie Huaisang’s life.

Without thinking Lan Xichen took Nie Huaisang’s hand, hoping to comfort him. Nie Huaisang startled and trembled, but didn’t try to remove his hand.

“I think it’s like you said,” Nie Huaisang explained, looking pleadingly at Lan Xichen. “That he did certain things because he thought he had no choice. He… I… if someone harmed da-ge, then I’d want to harm them back," he hissed with such rage that Lan Xichen shivered, reminded of the man Nie Huaisang had indeed become. "Even if it was san-ge! I can’t believe he’d do something like that, he’s always so nice, but it doesn’t matter. If I had been sure he’d hurt da-ge, then I… I would…”

“I know,” Lan Xichen said, squeezing Nie Huaisang’s hand.

“I think I had regrets of a sort though,” Nie Huaisang said. “The way it seems to me… I didn’t regret that these things had been done, I didn’t regret that people had died or been hurt, but I didn’t want to live with the weight of that either. I think… I’m a little bit of a coward, Er-ge. I’m fine with knowing I did horrible things, I just don’t want to know what they are, because that way it’s not really me who did them. So I can see why I chose to forget, and I also don’t want to remember.”

Had it been anyone else, Lan Xichen would have found that person cowardly indeed. Just as he bore the guilt of his failures and strove to do better, he would expect others to face their own faults, take their punishment, and try to improve in the future. But Nie Huaisang wasn’t just anyone, and Lan Xichen pitied him too much to wish for his suffering. Nie Huaisang had already been punished enough for what he’d done, having lost his brother, having lost all his friends, having lost the respect of his sect.

Having lost himself, too.

“It’s fine if you don’t remember,” Lan Xichen said. “You can stay here with us. Wei Wuxian seems happy enough to have you around, Lan Jingyi loves having someone to argue with… even uncle said the other day that it’s been a while since he’s had a decent opponent at weiqi.”

“And what about you?” Nie Huaisang asked, his cheeks a little pinker than they ought to be. “Are you also happy to have me here?”

“I am,” Lan Xichen replied, surprised to find that this, too, was the truth.

Partly because he’d always been a little too fond of Nie Huaisang, back before the Sunshot Campaign changed everything and forced him to set aside most of his personal attachments to better serve his sect. Partly, also, because he liked this current Nie Huaisang, who wasn’t quite as naïve and self-absorbed as he’d been as a boy, but lacked the cruelty years of solitude and resentment had taught him.

This was Nie Huaisang as he would have been, had the world been a little kinder. A clever young master who watched the world around him and understood people a little too well, but loved fun too much to ever do anything with what he learned, as long as his loved ones were safe.

“I’m glad to be here as well,” Nie Huaisang said.

He shuffled a little closer until he could rest his head against Lan Xichen’s shoulder. It had been years since anyone dared to be so carelessly intimate with Lan Xichen, who found he didn’t mind. Not if it was Nie Huaisang.

“You know, I’ve talked with Wei-xiong today, about this,” Nie Huaisang continued. “About what happened to me, and why, and how. He thinks it’s a curse, and there’s probably a condition that would allow it to be lifted. There usually is, after all. But I think if I really did this to myself, I'd have picked an impossible condition, because I wouldn't want to be saved from it. So I might stay like this for the rest of my life.”

“And you’ll be welcome to stay here that entire time,” Lan Xichen promised without thinking, squeezing Nie Huaisang’s hand again.

“That sounds really nice. I think I’ll take you on your offer, Er-ge,” Nie Huaisang said with a smile that Lan Xichen would have kissed if he’d dared. Later, while lying in his bed, he would wonder if he should have tried, only to eventually decide it would have ruined the moment.

Perhaps someday, in the future, thing would take that direction. For now they both had too much to deal with, too much to learn again about each other. It was fine. Lan Xichen was content to remain like this, sitting close together, holding hands, and watching those swallows finish their nest.

Just this was already more than he’d ever imagined he would get.

[gingersnapwolves]

The Untamed, a brief summary [Part 2/6]

Part One: Sword Wizard School

Part Two: The Search for the Yin Iron and the World’s Worst Summer Camp

Ext, Somewhere

Lan Wangji is looking for the yin iron. Wei Wuxian catches up with him and makes some bondage jokes. Lan Wangji is clearly warming up to him, as he doesn’t punt him into the stratosphere.

Jiang Cheng, still incensed that his brother snuck off, goes to look for him. Jiang Yanli packs him a sack lunch and tells him to be careful.

Wen Qing is stuck with Wen Chao, following Lan Wangji, and looks like she wants to throw herself off a mountain.

Ext, Tanzhou [Yiling]

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian run into Nie Huaisang, who apparently decided not to go home after school, presumably due to his grades. Yiling is nowhere near Qinghe. When Nie Huaisang decides to fuck around and find out, he goes for it.

In Tanzhou, there is a magic florist. She has a piece of yin iron, but they’re too late. Wen Chao has already taken it. I will forget that this happened in 90% of my fanfics.

Ext, Dafan Mountain [Yiling]

The three of them end up at a creepy village. There’s a woman mumbling something about a statue. Everyone else is missing except one creepy dude at a shrine to said statue, whose purpose is to give exposition. For some reason they decide to sleep in the weird cave with the creepy statue outside the abandoned village. Kids, amirite?

Ext, Somewhere

Jiang Cheng runs into Wen Qing. She purposefully picks a fight with him and he looks like someone kicked his puppy. But oh ho! It was just a ruse so she could tell him that his brother is in trouble at Dafan Mountain without anyone overhearing. He thanks her and takes off.

Interior, A Creepy Cave [Yiling]

The statue comes alive and attacks them! It keeps going for Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian makes a joke about it having a crush on him. They seal it to keep it from moving.

Outside, a mob of villagers who look the same as the not-a-corpse guy attack them. Nie Huaisang posits that he would like to be excluded from this narrative, of which he never asked to be a part. Wen Qing shows up and uses a magic flute to subdue the mob. She will never use this flute again despite countless times doing so might come in handy. Jiang Cheng turns up too but is too busy roasting Wei Wuxian for running off to do anything useful. Wen Qing tells Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian that the mob is powered by a shard of yin iron that Wen Chao has in his ‘dire owl’ which is a bird made out of shadow that could not possibly look less like an owl.

Wei Wuxian uses a nifty golden net spell that he will never use again despite countless times it might come in handy to protect the others while he and Lan Wangji fight Wen Chao and kill the absolutely-not-an-owl. The villagers are released from the spell.

Wen Qing tells them that this is where she and Wen Ning grew up. The statue had a piece of yin iron in it, and when Wen Ruohan came and took it, the statue went berserk and killed a bunch of people, including her parents. It also stole part of Wen Ning’s soul and that’s why he’s weak and sick. Then she goes back to Nightless City despite that this is clearly a terrible idea, because Wen Ning is there. Jiang Cheng asks her to stay, but she won’t, and Jiang Cheng is sad. Somehow nobody thinks to point out that she’s serving the man who got her parents killed.

Ext, Yueyang [Qinghe]

Somehow they’re all the way up towards Qinghe now. Please don’t ask questions about travel times. It’s my worst nightmare in my fics.

Nie Huaisang says that Meng Yao is meeting them here. Why? Who knows. My best guess is that Nie Huaisang knows he’s going to be in Big Trouble for sneaking off and thinks Meng Yao can protect him.

They stop at an inn. The waiter tells them something weird happened at the Chang house and now nobody’s there but they hear noise every night. The yin iron starts clamoring to be let out of its pouch and gives Lan Wangji heartburn.

Ext, the Chang manor [Qinghe]

Xue Yang has killed every damn person. It’s fucked up.

ENTER SUPERMAN and BATMAN, like seriously, imagine you were in a DC Comic and those two just dropped in for cameos and nobody bothered to explain who they were because they figured you would already know. Their names are Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan, and by the time they show up again, you will have forgotten that.

They’ve been tracking Xue Yang for All the Crimes and want to arrest him. There’s a fight. Xue Yang loses and enjoys it way too much.

Wei Wuxian asks him questions about the yin iron. He acts like a little punk. He doesn’t have any yin iron on him even though he obviously used it for Carnage, and they can’t find it anywhere.

Meng Yao and Nie Huaisang show up. They agree to take Xue Yang back to The Unclean Realm to be tried for All the Crimes.

Xue Yang cheekily says, “Don’t forget me!” to Xiao Xingchen, who immediately forgets him.

Exeunt Superman and Batman, while Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian both stare after them longingly, clearly wishing that they too could hunt monsters and criminals instead of dealing with political bullshit.

Ext, The Unclean Realm [Qinghe]

Meng Yao shows them in and tells Nie Huaisang that the Wen sect has demanded each sect send an ‘inner heir disciple’ for ‘indoctrination’. Nie Huaisang remembers that he’s the only inner heir disciple sect in the Nie sect and panics. Meng Yao laughs at his histrionics. To be fair, they are indeed funny.

ENTER THE WORLD’S MOST BADASS MUSTACHE

This is Nie Mingjue. He is the head of the Qinghe Nie sect. He carries an enormous sword and has the title ‘Red Blade Master’. Every molecule of this man exudes big dick energy.

Nie Mingjue decides to immediately execute Xue Yang. Meng Yao steps in and counsels that maybe execution shouldn’t be their go-to, being rather permanent and all. Xue Yang can give them information and they shouldn’t waste their chance to get it. Nie Mingjue agrees. The others admire the fact that Meng Yao is clever and persuasive, and Wei Wuxian makes a comment about how Meng Yao’s biological father (the head of the Lanling Jin) is an idiot for not realizing he could make use of such a talent.

Nie Mingjue orders Xue Yang put in prison and the guard strengthened. Meng Yao delivers this order to the Captain of the Guard, who decides he’s going to be a giant prick about it. He’s too good to take orders from the bastard son of a whore. Meng Yao puts on his best retail smile and says that he’ll make do.

Meanwhile, the others are discussing the yin iron and the Wen sect’s demand to send disciples. Nie Mingjue says Lan Xichen has written to him and he thinks Lan Wangji should go back to Cloud Recesses. There’s only one piece of yin iron left unlocated and Xue Yang clearly knows where it is, so they’ll take it from here. Wei Wuxian reluctantly agrees that he and Jiang Cheng should probably head home too, to see how their father wants to handle the Wen sect’s demands.

Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

Wen soldiers have showed up. It’s bad. Lan Qiren tells Lan Xichen that he should take their most precious knowledge and run away. Lan Xichen tries to argue but Lan Qiren insists.

Ext, The Unclean Realm [Qinghe]

The Captain of the Guard is still being an asshole to Meng Yao, this time while drunk.

Wei Wuxian, also drunk, has decided to sleep on Lan Wangji’s roof like any well-adjusted person would.

Lan Wangji gives him a longing stare and says ‘farewell’ under his breath like the stoic repressed gay he is, before heading back home.

ENTER MINIMUM WAGE REPRESENTATION MAN

The next morning, Wen Chao shows up with his Head Henchman, Wen Zhuliu. He’s clearly there because Wen Chao can’t find his ass with two hands and a flashlight. They demand the release of Xue Yang and grandstand a lot. Nie Mingjue tells them to fuck off.

There’s a big fight, mostly between Nie Mingjue and Wen Zhuliu.

Someone shouts that Xue Yang has escaped. Nie Mingjue makes it to the prison and finds Meng Yao standing there with a sword through the gut of the Captain of the Guard. We all take a moment to wish that we could stab the people who have bullied us. Nie Mingjue, however, does not agree, and is very upset. Meng Yao hilariously says ‘Xue Yang did it’ even though he’s literally got his hand on the hilt of the blade. Nice going, Meng Yao. I spend the next ten months wondering if that was a translation error.

Wen Chao (or maybe Wen Zhuliu? I don’t remember tbh) throws his sword at Nie Mingjue. Meng Yao leaps in front of it and gets lightly stabbed. Then Wen Chao talks a lot of shit about how much the Nie sect sucks and also the Lan sect sucks and his brother has taken men to go burn Cloud Recesses to the ground. Everyone is upset. Wen Chao gallantly agrees he’ll let them off the hook for the day, but if they fuck with the Wen sect again, they’ll regret it.

Nie Mingjue drags Meng Yao inside and they have a messy breakup. Meng Yao tries to explain that the Captain of the Guard was a big douchebag, bullied him for years, and took credit for his accomplishments. Nie Mingjue points out that this was not an excuse to murder him. Because Meng Yao just saved his life, he says he won’t execute him, but exiles him from Qinghe.

Meng Yao bids farewell to Nie Huaisang, who is upset and tries to get his brother to reconsider, but Nie Mingjue is adamant. Everyone seems to forget that Meng Yao just got fucking stabbed. He’ll walk it off.

So who released Xue Yang? This question is actually never answered! Did the captain of the guard do it for some reason, and Meng Yao stabbed him because he caught him in the act? Did Meng Yao do it? If so, why? Did he have nefarious purposes? Or did he do it because he thought it would make the Wen sect withdraw and stop attacking The Unclean Realm? Did the Wen soldiers get to him and let him out? Did Xue Yang just escape on his own? You may believe any canon that you wish. (My personal head canon is generally that Meng Yao released him to try to get the Wen soldiers to withdraw, but I’ve also written some variations.)

Ext, Lotus Pier [Yunmeng]

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian are home. Yay! They reunite with Jiang Yanli. It is cute.

ENTER A PAIR OF EXTREMELY BAD PARENTS

So here’s the tea on the super dysfunctional family that basically drives this whole story. Jiang Fengmian is the head of the Yunmeng Jiang sect. His wife is Yu Ziyuan. He didn’t really want to marry her, mostly because he was in love with another woman named Cangse Sanren. However, the leaders of their two sects were pushing them to marry for alliance reasons. Jiang Fengmian kept refusing, but then Cangse Sanren married a guy named Wei Changze, who was one of Jiang Fengmian’s close friends. Since she was no longer an option, Jiang Fengmian then agreed to marry Yu Ziyuan. They hate each other.

The two of them had two kids, Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng. Jiang Yanli is not a strong cultivator and seems to have some health issues, although these are never detailed. Therefore all the sect responsibilities fall to Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli was betrothed to Jin Zixuan (whose mother was the sect sister of Yu Ziyuan).

Meanwhile, Cangse Sanren is what we call a ‘rogue cultivator’ ie a cultivator who is not formally part of any sect. Wei Changze was a servant at Lotus Pier. They had Wei Wuxian and went to fight evil. When Wei Wuxian was four, they were killed by a monster. He lived on the streets for about three years before Jiang Fengmian found him and adopted him.

Yu Ziyuan is super pissed that Jiang Fengmian adopted the child of the woman he was in love with. She’s also super pissed because Wei Wuxian happens to be a more powerful cultivator than Jiang Cheng. Jiang Fengmian is very indulgent of Wei Wuxian’s behavior because, you know, his parents died, and Jiang Fengmian loved his mother and was friends with his father. Yu Ziyuan constantly accuses Jiang Fengmian of loving Wei Wuxian more than he loves their own son, constantly abuses Wei Wuxian for having the audacity to exist in her home and be a good cultivator, and constantly berates Jiang Cheng for not being as strong as Wei Wuxian and says he’s not going to be a good sect leader. Meanwhile Jiang Fengmian can’t be arsed to reassure Jiang Cheng that yes, he does love him very much. Jiang Yanli basically raised both the brothers which is probably the only reason they turned out as well as they did.

tl;dr this is a super toxic environment for everyone involved

Ext, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]

ENTER A MAN WHOSE POSITION IMPLIES HE SHOULD BE IMPORTANT YET PLAYS LITTLE ROLE IN THE STORY

Wen Xu, the first son of Wen Ruohan, is coordinating the attack on Cloud Recesses.

Lan Wangji arrives in time to find most of his sect rushing to shelter in the magic cave because the Wen troops are slaughtering everyone there.

A bunch of disciples are trapped outside because only members of the Lan bloodline can get in. Wen Xu starts murdering them all until one will tell him how to get in.

ENTER A 2 WHO THINKS HE IS A 10

A disciple named Su She, who incidentally is the guy who lost his sword in the lake like a dumbass while fighting the water demon, tells Wen Xu that only members of the Lan bloodline can get in and he could do it if he had one of the Magic Ribbons.

Lan Wangji emerges from the cave to try to fight off Wen Xu and a zillion guys single-handedly. Unsurprisingly, this does not work and he is captured. Since he’s got the yin iron, Wen Xu decides that’s good enough and they take off. Everyone left behind presumably calls Su She a jerk.

Int, Lotus Pier [Yunmeng]

They’ve received the demands from the Wen sect. Jiang Cheng is the inner heir disciple and he has to go. Wei Wuxian says he’ll go too. Yu Ziyuan tells him nobody gives a shit what the son of a servant does.

Ext, The Indoctrination Bureau, which may or may not be in Nightless City. It sure seems like it is but then later it sure seems like it isn’t [Qishan]

Wen Chao has lined all the disciples up outside so he can insult them and brag about how great he is. Wei Wuxian is worried because Lan Wangji isn’t there at first, but then he’s escorted in, clearly injured and trying not to show it.

Wen Chao forces them all to surrender their swords. Surprisingly it’s Jin Zixuan who picks a fight about this.

ENTER A WOMAN WHO IS NOT PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS SHIT

Jin Zixuan’s retainer, a woman named Luo Qingyang but who everyone calls Mianmian because of how cute she is, calms him down and reminds him that Jin Zixuan’s father told them not to make trouble. He’s pissed but hands his sword over. So does everyone else.

(A note on swords: there are strong implications that the swords are semi-sentient and connected to their bearers on a spiritual level. I’m sure I would know more about this if I was more familiar with xianxia. But the long and the short of it is that taking their swords is a Big Fucking Deal.)

Wen Chao tells them all to memorize ‘The Quintessence of Wen’, basically the rules of their sect.

Ext, somewhere nearby [Qishan]

Wen Ning is excited that Wei Wuxian is in Qishan and asks Wen Qing if he can go outside and play. Wen Qing says no because Wei Wuxian is supposed to be their enemy. Wen Ning uses sad puppy eyes. It has no effect.

Ext, The Indoctrination Bureau [Qishan]

Wen Chao tells them to recite the Wen stuff. Lan Wangji refuses. Jin Zixuan refuses.

Wei Wuxian eagerly volunteers, and then like the chaos gremlin he is, starts reciting the Lan principles instead. Wen Chao is pissed. Lan Wangji is smitten. Even Jin Zixuan thinks it’s funny. Jiang Cheng is upset that Wei Wuxian is causing trouble but he also thinks it’s funny and just won’t admit it.

Wen Chao punishes Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and Jin Zixuan by making them do some menial labor involving buckets of dung. Jin ‘never done a day of actual labor in his life’ Zixuan is the most upset about this.

Wei Wuxian takes the opportunity to try to talk to Lan Wangji about the yin iron and what happened at Cloud Recesses and why he’s injured. Wen Chao gets even more pissy and throws Wei Wuxian in a dungeon with a terrible CGI wolf monster. Wei Wuxian nearly gets eaten but Wen Qing intervenes by using long distance acupuncture to knock the monster out with throwing needles. Wen Ning brings him some medicine to stop the bleeding from his multiple wounds.

The next day, they’re still reciting the stupid Wen stuff, or at least pretending to. Nie Huaisang either falls asleep on his feet, passes out, or decides this is bullshit and pretends to pass out, and is dragged back to his guest house.

The rest of them go on a field trip.

ENTER THE HUMAN VERSION OF PERIOD CRAMPS

Wen Chao has a girlfriend, somehow. Her name is Jiaojiao and she is the absolute worst.

They head off to a mountain where bad mojo is going around. Wen Chao is clearly planning to use all these cultivators as cannon fodder, because he’s a fucking asshole. Wen Zhuliu accompanies them, presumably because Wen Chao will trip over his own sword and die if left to his own devices. Wen Qing also comes along, even though she’d clearly rather not. Wen Chao keeps hitting on Mianmian and it makes Jiaojiao jealous.

Lan Wangji is limping badly. Wei Wuxian wants to help him. Jiang Cheng tells him they’ve got their own problems and they shouldn’t get involved in other people’s business. Wei Wuxian says, ‘but consider: I do what I want’. He offers to carry Lan Wangji, who refuses. So instead Wei Wuxian uses a little paper talisman to ask Wen Qing if she can help them out. She calls for a break so they can get some water.

Wen Chao tells her she’s too soft-hearted. She tells him he thinks too much, which seems vastly inaccurate.

Int, Muxi Mountain [Qishan]

They find a cave and go inside. There’s a steep drop off and nobody wants to go see what’s at the bottom, so Wen Chao pushes Wei Wuxian over the edge. Everyone is pissed about this, and they all have to climb down.

They’ve discovered an underground lake and the home of the monster! But it’s nowhere to be found. Wen Chao wants to string someone up and cut them to attract it. Jiaojiao suggests Mianmian. Wen Chao clearly doesn’t want to because he has the hots for her. Jin Zixuan tells him to get his grubby eyeballs off his friend. For the first time in the show, we feel a jot of respect for Jin Zixuan.

One of the other disciples tries to grab Mianmian anyway, Jin Zixuan intervenes, and there’s a big fight.

Wei Wuxian tells Wen Chao that using his position to bully others means he should be executed, using the words they had to memorize from the Quintessence of Wen. Wen Chao doesn’t recognize their own principles. Everyone laughs at him, and Wen Zhuliu looks like he’d rather be flipping burgers at McDonald’s than have this stupid job.

While Wen Zhuliu is distracted mentally updating his resume, Wei Wuxian grabs Wen Chao, puts a sword to his throat, and jumps to a rock in the middle of the lake. He tells Wen Chao to make all his guys lower their blades. But then, uh oh! Turns out the rock he jumped to is in fact the monster, which is a terrible CGI turtle snake thing.

There’s another big fight. Jiaojiao decides that this is an ideal time to punish Mianmian for being pretty near other people, and tries to burn her with a hot iron. Wei Wuxian jumps in between them and gets hit with it.

At some point, Wen Chao decides fuck this. The Wen soldiers all retreat, dragging Wen Qing with them, cut the ropes to the bottom of the cliff, and seal the entrance.

They find an underwater exit from the cave. While Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian fight the monster and keep it distracted, the other cultivators escape. But they don’t manage to make it out themselves. They’re now trapped in a cave together, soaking wet and wounded. Thank you, Untamed.

Wei Wuxian teases Lan Wangji and is too stupid to realize he’s flirting. Lan Wangji prays for patience. He tells Wei Wuxian that he went back to Cloud Recesses and that his uncle is injured and his brother is missing. Wei Wuxian covers Lan Wangji with his robe while he sleeps. We all swoon.

In order to get out, they have to kill the monster. Wei Wuxian goes inside it and we all very studiously do not ask which entrance he went through.

The inside of this monster is very gross. There’s a black sword inside it which emanates evil energy. Wei Wuxian grabs it because he is sixteen and stupid. He hears lots of screaming ghosts and such, but hangs onto it anyway because he is sixteen and stupid. They kill the terrible CGI turtle snake thing but it collapses on top of the exit so they still can’t get out. Wei Wuxian is badly injured. Lan Wangji sings to him and there is a montage of their significant moments together up to this point, because the Chinese censors apparently weren’t looking.

Ext, Muxi Mountain [Qishan]

Wei Wuxian wakes up to find he is outside. Jin Zixuan and Jiang Cheng have rescued him. Lan Wangji has already left to go back to Cloud Recesses to look for his brother. Wei Wuxian is still holding onto the creepy sword. They awkwardly thank Jin Zixuan for helping out with the rescue. Jin Zixuan awkwardly accepts their thanks and then bounces. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng head back to Lotus Pier.

Nobody ever mentions how Nie Huaisang gets out of Qishan, and for some reason I find this very funny.

~end part 2~

[neverdoingmuch]

hello! I just wanted to ask, which do you think in the mdzs novel has the most questionable morality? like they have done more bad things but they still had kindness in them somehow (?)

oh!! this is a hard one for me anon! i’m always bad at ranking characters but i’ll do my best!  i’m not sure if you were hoping for like a quick answer or a long one but i’m gonna go with a long one bc that’s always fun and i’ll do a tldr if you don’t want to read through all that? yeah that seems like it’ll work because holy shit i didnt mean for it to get so long (and kind of away from the point of your ask too so sorry about that!)

okay! So, the three main contenders for morally dubious characters are, as far as I’ve seen, Xue Yang, Jin Guangyao, and Wei Wuxian. Not a big surprise, I’m sure. While they’re the more obvious options, they do have a lot of parallels and exhibit a lot of the themes and ideas that MXTX was getting at. I mean, I love looking at Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian as foils, and even other combinations of the three, so my answer will probably be heavy on the comparisons. I do think it’s worth touching on Jiang Cheng as well though. Also, I’ll try to stay as unbiased as I can because there’s a few characters on this list that I just don’t like … like at all.

Jiang Cheng tends to get brushed over a lot when it comes to some of the horrible things he’s done. From promising to protect Wei Wuxian from dogs only to immediately use them as a threat whenever he wants to to leading a siege on a group of people he knows are completely innocent of any crimes to torturing and killing people for thirteen years, he’s definitely not a good person. His concerns lie first and foremost with himself and his. That doesn’t seem like a horrible thing at first – he should owe his loyalty to himself, his family, and his sect – but it does mean that when the Xuanwu’s cave situation happened, his response was to get mad that Wei Wuxian helped Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji. (And that’s why Jiang Fengmian got mad at him!). Later on, when pressure comes from the sects regarding Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng chooses not to stand with him, which, while understandable, isn’t exactly a kind move to someone who called Jiang Cheng his family and was trying to repay the debt the two of them owed Wen Qing. There’s no denying that he does care about Wei Wuxian, but when forced to make hard choices, he picks what’s easiest for himself. In general, I’d say that his sense of morality is selfish and somewhat flighty, but not necessarily questionable, so I’ll move on!

For the usual suspects, I’ll start with Xue Yang because I’m just going to immediately eliminate him from the running. I’ve seen people interpret his character sympathetically or try to justify some of his actions or the way he turned out, but I honestly just can’t. While you could feel sympathetic towards him because of his childhood, we have Wei Wuxian as a direct contrast to Xue Yang, as well as, to a certain degree, Jin Guangyao. Both Xue Yang and Wei Wuxian were street kids who had a horrible time in their youth, but Wei Wuxian was able to leave that behind him. That’s a lot easier to do when you’ve been adopted into a major sect and afforded comforts above your station (and also have terrible coping mechanisms), but even Jin Guangyao’s revenge isn’t quite as wide-spread and malicious. I know it may seem a bit obvious, anon, but some people really do try and treat Xue Yang like he’s morally dubious which confuses me a lot because how?? Even if we do say that he has suitable cause, one of the messages of the novel is that your past experiences don’t justify your future actions, so even within the context of the novel – a novel which is concerned with highlighting the grey areas of morality – Xue Yang isn’t afforded any sympathy. So, there’s really no way to construe him in a positive light. His only moments of kindness come with his time spent in Yi City with Xiao Xingchen, where Xue Yang doesn’t change much – he may have cared for Xiao Xingchen, but Xue Yang still tortured him as he did so. I never quite read that arc as Xue Yang learning to care or being allowed to be kind again so I’d just say that he lacks both morals and kindness. On that basis we can boot him from this competition. 

Jin Guangyao may have been one of the antagonists of the novel, but he wasn't a completely bad person or like The Worst. His main crimes involved getting revenge for slights against him or his mother – being from Nie Mingjue, Jin Guangshan, or any number of other cultivators. I think that, to an extent, his actions are justifiable. While you can contrast this to the way Wei Wuxian gets called a servant's son, they do differ in the fact that Wei Wuxian is afforded a higher level of protection due to him being favoured by Jiang Fengmian. Additionally, when Wei Wuxian does have his birth used against him, he's usually the person who acted out first anyway. Jin Guangyao was insulted for doing little more than exist and was never the person to act out first, yet still faced a near constant onslaught of insults. I'm not saying his actions were justified by any means, but the reasoning behind his actions is sound. The one thing I will note is that he doesn't let go of his grudges – even when everything is all done and dusted and he has everything that he could possibly want from life, he still holds onto that hatred. I remember seeing a post where someone mentioned that characters who were able to move on and change for the better were able to get their happy ending in MDZS, which isn't relevant here but definitely applies to Jin Guangyao when thinking about why he got the ending he did. I don't agree with the degree to which he enacted his revenge against certain characters and I loathe the whole Qin Su situation. I don't care how much he cries about it, he could've at least told her, but I mainly just pretend that part didn't exist. So, he has suitable cause for at least some of his actions, and his other victims can just be classified as necessary collateral rather than being intentional innocent targets, if that makes sense, but he's definitely vindictive and spiteful.

On the other hand, he did a lot of good, too. He's a side character for the most part so Jin Guangyao didn't get the most screen-time, but we do hear of some of the good things he's done. The main example would probably be the watchtowers. One of the interesting things about Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian is that while both of them are capable of kindness, the breadth and scope of Jin Guangyao's is much broader – the watchtowers are an idea that not only showcase how Jin Guangyao's upbringing allows him to see flaws in the cultivation world that the other privileged cultivators can't, but also show how he does care about the people. I've seen a few people try and play it as a spying technique but I don’t really believe that in the slightest. I mean, the point of the towers is to cover the areas where the sects aren't, so I have no idea what Jin Guangyao's people would even be spying on. Anyway, setting up those watchtowers really didn't benefit him any specific way – unless you consider him endearing himself to Lan Xichen and garnering a good reputation with the common folk something that outweighs the absolute nightmare it would have been to make the sects participate in the project to begin with. In a more specific case, Jin Ling's dog was given to him by Jin Guangyao. It's interesting that, despite Jin Ling spending the novel being trailed by Jiang Cheng, the gift that he obviously cares for deeply is from Jin Guangyao. In the Guanyin Temple scene I definitely got the sense that Jin Ling had loved and trusted Jin Guangyao before the truth came out so I'm firmly convinced that he would've been a wonderful and conscientious uncle to him and just generally good to the people who worked for him and/or the commoners.

Okay, now Wei Wuxian!! As far as I've seen, people are relatively good at staying true to his questionable sense of morality. Like with Jin Guangyao, we know that he can be vindictive and pretty excessive when it comes to getting his revenge, but I'm not going to deny that I was definitely rooting for him when he went after Wen Chao and his little gang. The main issue with Wei Wuxian is probably the demonic cultivation – the stigma against it tends to get reduced to it being bad for the user and their temperament etc. etc., but there's more to it than that. I'm no expert on Daoism by any means, but from my understanding desecration of corpses and disturbing the dead is a significant cultural taboo. This isn't just Wei Wuxian doing something no one else can do (though it certainly is true), it's also him doing something no one else should do. I've seen the massacre at Nightless City being added as another tally to his list of crimes, but I honestly think that that isn’t a crime worth adding – he needed to defend himself so he did, simple as that. 

As I mentioned above, Wei Wuxian's kindness is a bit more specific – where Jin Guangyao cares for the people, Wei Wuxian cares for individuals. We see his kindness more clearly, be it because he's the main character or be it because actions are clearer and stronger when it's for a single person or a small group. It's a bit easier, in my opinion, to care about people when you don't have to live with them and face them every day, but Wei Wuxian does. Even though Wei Wuxian led a lot more comfortable life than Jin Guangyao, we never really see Jin Guangyao get his hands dirty in the same way Wei Wuxian does. When a sacrifice needs to be made, Wei Wuxian’s the one who makes it. He doesn't relegate, he does it himself. We know that he would do absolutely anything for those he cares about and that's why he's able to commit a lot of the atrocities he does.

When it comes to deciding between Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian for most questionable morality, I think we need to look at the reasons behind their actions. Wei Wuxian’s sense of morality is definitely nowhere near that of the Lans but he has always been driven by his sense of justice and his love for those around him. In that sense, I've always read him as having a flexible sense of morality rather than a questionable one. I'm not sure how much of it ties in with his sense of duty, but it's definitely a lot. Wei Wuxian is, and always will, fill the role that is required of him – be it the childish and sweet younger brother, the talented but flippant older brother, the monster that wins the war, or the fierce protector that gives his all, Wei Wuxian will twist himself into whatever position he's needed in at that moment. Obviously, he went after Wen Chao for his own benefit, and the corrupting influence of the resentful energy does need to be factored into this, but at his core, Wei Wuxian will always value his duty (to his sect, family, friends, and innocents) and doing what is right over anything else. He may have stumbled along the way, but he did manage to form his own path to uphold all the values that he wanted to. Jin Guangyao, on the other hand, is similar to Jiang Cheng in how he's driven by his own motivations for betterment and revenge, albeit with more grace and intelligence. Jin Guangyao may masquerade as being motivated by any number of causes but he will never do anything at his own risk, and he will always be his top priority. So, while it's a close call between Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao, I'm going to have to go with Jin Guangyao on this one!

tldr; the fandom favourites for questionable morality are xy, jgy, and wwx so i mainly looked at them. I included jc as well but neither xy or jc demonstrate the dichotomy needed so they got eliminated from the running. Jgy and wwx both commit and are willing to commit horrible crimes as well as being capable of caring for others and being kind. but, where wwx is driven by his sense of justice and love for others, jgy is driven by his own motivations for betterment and revenge, making for a more questionable morality (as compared to wwx's more flexible morality).

[rosethornewrites]

Fics I read this week

Some of these may have been read earlier than a week ago, but I tried to keep it contained. Not sure I’ll keep this up, but I’ll try.

Finished:

Rated E:

the origin of change, by kissteethstainred, rated E

Lan Xichen said, “Time for regrowth and mourning is, of course, the most important. But there has also been a—frequent—discussion of marriage.” He paused to drink more tea. He almost seemed apologetic when he added, “Your name has been brought up often.”

“For marriage,” Lan Wangji repeated.

Except with Wei Ying in the picture, nothing goes exactly as planned.

Opportunity, by brooklinegirl, rated E

Lan Zhan is jostled slightly and he turns in his seat to see a harried-looking man squeezing in next to him. There isn't an empty seat there, and the bar is quite crowded. "Sorry," the man says, sounding out of breath. "I know I'm all up in your business, I'll move, I promise, I just—" He blows his breath out. "I'm going to lose this seat next to you, that dude over there has been eyeing it, and it's mine as soon as this guy leaves.”

Rated M:

Oxymoron, by feline_somnambulist, rated M

Jiang Yanli was in the kitchen. She hummed softly along to music being played somewhere else in the house, as she shuffled carefully back and forth from the prep table to the giant vat of soup. The house smelled like pork rib and savory broth. As always, she was beautiful in her element, a goddess of her domain despite the limp and the leg brace.

Her phone rang just as Jiang Cheng entered the kitchen. She saw him and smiled as she made her careful way to the phone on the wall-mounted charging station.

Jiang Cheng put the stack of paperwork down on a counter. He got to the phone first, picked it up. It was Lan Wangji’s number. He rejected the call and put the phone in his pocket.

“A-Cheng? Is everything okay?” Jiang Yanli asked, a frown creasing her brow. “Who was that?”

It Ends With the Beginning, by feline_somnambulist, rated M

They fight. They part. Jiang Cheng is hurt. Wei Wuxian comes to help. Wei Wuxian runs. Jiang Cheng is tired of chasing. They fight.

Until The End, by abCEE, rated M

"When I -- when I tied my ribbon around our wrists, I knew what I was doing and I privately honored it." Wei Wuxian's brows continued to meet as he tried to understand where the conversation was going until realization dawned on him. "Wa -- wait! Lan Zhan, is it what I think it is?!!" "It is usually done at the end of a wedding ceremony --" "What-" "But it could have been acknowledged as an engagement." "Lan Zhan!" He cannot believe what he is hearing now. "But my ancestor revealed herself --" "And we bowed… three times. We bowed, Lan Zhan!"

In which wangxian are married since the Cold Pond Cave incident, knows how proper communication works, and had confessed in the middle of the Sunshot Campaign. Things went spiraling up and down from there.

Rated T:

as it should be, by Sienne, rated T

Post-canon Lan Qiren time travels to before the Cloud Recesses lectures. The Cloud Recesses are quiet and peaceful, something his home hasn't been in years. ...In fact, it is too quiet and peaceful.

Judgment Day, by Grace_Logan, rated T

Cornered Wei Wuxian sees only one way out after cluing in on the Jin's plan.

Welcome To Gusu, by perkynurples, rated T

Deep in the lush forests of Gusu hides an aging resort that hosts dozens of children every summer for an unforgettable couple of weeks. It’s where Lan Wangji grew up alongside Wei Wuxian, and when his childhood friend (for the lack of a better term) surprisingly returns years later in the position of Senior Counsellor, seemingly hell bent on causing the same kind of mischief that got him kicked out of Gusu in the first place, but also taller, broader and tanner than ever before, Lan Wangji knows he’s In Trouble. Or, this fic has it all: longing looks over campfires, found family dynamics, ill-timed skinny dipping, teenagers inappropriately shipping their counsellors, camp weddings...

Therapy is a Performative Act, by cinder1013, rated T

“What does your dad think of your comedy?”

“Oh, he hates it, but it pays the bills and I need it to pay for my goddamn fuckin’ therapy.”

Jiang Cheng stumbles into being a stand-up comic and his favorite topic is dear ol’ dad.

sorry, i love you, by moon_thief, rated T

lan wangji was practically seething as he watched it happen. what kind of person could be so careless, unruly, undisciplined-

and then their eyes met.

oh. oh.

Tremble a Prayer, by cqlorphan, rated T

They kiss, and Lan Wangji regulates himself. There are no tears pricking at his eyes. There is no lump in his throat. His hands are undressing Wei Ying, and then Wei Ying’s hands are on his hands.

“What is it?” Wei Ying says, between kisses.

Even with Wei Ying back, Lan Wangji's sadness overwhelms him at times. He tries, and fails, to keep it from him.

The Quiet Work, by ShipsAreLaunching, rated T

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian get a summons for help from a minor clan in Gusu. When they go to investigate they find a horrible truth, and do what they do best.

Rated G:

Ink Stains Not So Ignored, by Preludian_Staves, rated G

Qiren found something that he still couldn't bring himself to ignore about his youngest nephew's husband.

I’d buy a big house where we both could live, by failed2be_chill, rated G

“Ah, so you want to play with the rabbits and enjoy their soft fur and silly little nose twitches while your poor husband toils in the heat of the day with hammer and nail doing exhausting manual labour. I see how it is. It’s a good job I love you, huh?” Wei Wuxian kisses his husband’s soft cheek.

“Mn, very good.”

---

Or, married WangXian embrace the practical and symbolic joys of home ownership. Domestic bliss.

Family, by Speechless_since_1998, rated G

Jiang Cheng blinked as his brother while he played with the baby he was holding.

He hoped he had misunderstood, but he had proof that it was true right in front of him.

So he did the only sensible thing that came to mind, "Wei Ying, what the fuck ?! '

"A-Cheng, language!" Shijie scolded him with a stern look.

"A-Jie, you can't really accept such a thing!"

"Why not? He is so cute!" she said, making funny faces at the child, totally in love with him.

Was it possible that he was the only one with a bit of mental sanity left?

A Lonely Guqin (No More), by Asphodel_Meadow, rated G

Wei Wuxian is the first person who makes Lan Wangji want to have a duet.

piercing, by escapingaugust, rated G (read the tags)

Stolen Midnights, by hinotoriii, rated G

There are nights where sleep eludes Wei Wuxian. Where the demons of his past are too loud in his mind, reminding him of that which he could never forget, second life or not.

Unfinished:

Not Rated:

Disclosed Regrets, by zLanWuxian, Not Rated

The majority of the cultivation world are pulled into a room that suspiciously resembled the burial mounds. (Their golden cores were sealed too. As to why, nobody knew.)

They are invited to watch Wei Wuxian's life.

What will they do when they find out everything they believed was a lie?

(Or: The characters of Mo Dao Zu Shi watch Mo Dao Zu Shi)

Rated E:

Where You Fell, by Sweet_William, rated E

Years ago, Lan Wangji was a Senior in high school, readying himself for graduation and the coming years studying at the Gusu Lan Institute of Music. Everything in his life made sense, from his role in his family, to a future as a classical musician. The only thing that didn’t fit was the sudden epiphanies he had about himself brought on by his bothersome and flirtatious classmate, Wei Wuxian. When the growing attraction and friendship was cut short by the other boy’s disappearance, he mourned what could have been, but ultimately had to move on. What he didn’t know was that fate would bring them back together again one day, or the reality of how far apart two lives can diverge, how some can find peace and prosperity, while others can fall farther than he ever imagined.

A Narrow Bridge, by FrameofMind and Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle), rated E

Once, Lan Wangji made a choice to step aside. Ten years after Wei Ying’s death, he finds a way back to choose again.

Setting fire to our insides, by StarsAlignNomore, rated E

Lan Wangji dies after the thirty-third strike. Lan Xichen does not handle it well.

*fleabag voice* This is a fix it.

Rated M:

Live Again, Love Anew, by kkanime5555, rated M

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian finally speaks up.

“Mn.” Lan Zhan hums to show he’s listening.

“I think we traveled back in time.”

...

“I’ll go, Lan Zhan. I’ll come to Gusu with you.”

-----

Or,

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are soulmates and, upon Wei Ying's death, they are sent back to when they first met as kids on the streets of Yiling. From there, they both are taken to Gusu, where they are raised together, gradually learning of their shared feelings and finding out the mystery of who sent them back in time and why, all while planning how to save the world, preferably with all their loved ones left alive.

A Torn Red Ribbon, by shiroakuma, rated M

The night before they marched into the Nightless City, Lan Wangji was invited to join Wei Wuxian in his tent.

Unbeknownst to him at that time, it became their last real conversation.

In which, a resounding victory against the QishanWen Sect is won seemingly at the cost of Wei Wuxian's life. Lan Wangji still spends some time being heavily injured. Lan Xichen tries to pick the pieces left behind by the war. The Jiang Sect is renowned thanks to the revered Wei Wuxian and the cultivation world is plagued by unknown forces while Lan Wangji meets with Wei Wuxian in his dreams.

Sacrifices Made with Blood, by NocturnalFriend, rated M

Lan Wangji knew it was too late, there was too much blood on Wei Ying's hands already. Still, if he asked his brother for help, surely. There was a way to rescue the man who held his heart?

Or: Trust is not easily given and all to easily shattered. Lan Wangji learns this in the worst way, when Lan Xichen gives into the demands of the cultivation world. Although nobody could have predicted the whims of fate, giving them another chance at righting things.

What makes you sing?, by Fictio, rated M

Madam Yu was never known for her matchmaking skills but she was known for her inherent meddling. Though it still came as a surprise, when on one fine Saturday afternoon, she called Wei Ying and set him up for a blind date.

There She Rose, by Aiiiru, rated M

Many years had passed yet whispers and gossips about YiLing Matriarch still stayed alive like unruly weeds refusing to die.

"That damn Wei Wuxian must have cursed this year's harvest with 'unkillable' locusts" "But Wei Wuxian had died right?" "Didn't you know that her body wasn't found?" "I heard some cultivators saying that during the chaos, some people saw her leaving in a sword, flying away with someone else." "That must be the demon with whom she signed a contract, a female challenging three thousand or was it five thousand cultivators by herself? Hah!! She definitely has ties with evil creatures and ghosts." "I heard from my cousin in Yunmeng that YiLing Matriarch was born shameless." "Some say she was a male but took female form to seduce the ghosts of burial mounds and gain power by starting demonic cultivation" "Shhh! Don't talk so loudly! My cousin knew a man who loudly gossiped about Yilling Matriarch only to be cursed to death the next day"

Visitations, by Vir_Abelasan, rated M

"Wei Ying-" Lan Zhan says, stutters, "I'm sorry."

And now Wei Wuxian sees it, the red rimming Lan Zhan's eyes, the rumpled edges of his blazer. There is an old, familiar urge for him to reach over, to hold Lan Zhan's hand and smooth his hair, to tell him that everything will be fine.

"We're all a bit sorry about this, I think," he says instead, and finds that he means it. For Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and everyone else in that Guanyin temple, the pain must be unbearably fresh, like skin just flayed open. But Wei Wuxian's chest had been cracked open a long time ago, his wounds licked and cauterized and sewn shut over five long years - Ever hurting, but a dull, constant ache, "It's really alright, Lan Zhan."

Five years after being accused of corporate espionage and losing everything, the Guanyin Scandal breaks open and Wei Wuxian finds a familiar face at his door.

Kiss My Wounds, Bless My Scars, by Pegunicent, rated M

When he is sixteen, Lan Wangji makes a choice. He becomes Wei Ying's bride.

Rated T:

the one where Jiang Yanli visits (and she's a fucking goddess), by ShippersList, rated T (part 4 of a series)

Wei Wuxian’s sister was a fucking goddess so it was a travesty she wasn’t being fucked like a goddess deserved.

Luo Qingyang decided to do something about it.

(Also, family feels and some plotting but that's beside the point.)

obscured in the shade of the willow, bathed in the light of the moon, by cloud_wanderer, rated T

Wei Wuxian leaves the Burial Mounds for the first time to attend his martial brother's wedding, and everything changes from there. (a.k.a. a universe in which Nie Huaisang schemes to thwart Jin Guangshan's plans and ends up saving Wei Wuxian and the Wens in the process)

Wei Wuxian meets Xiao Xingchen and helps found a sect in Yiling.

Inchoate, by Marinelifeclub, rated T

“Where would you even go once you left? Wait a few more years before leaving." persuaded Jiang Fengmian,

“Will I live to see that long?” Wei Wuxian whispered under his breath.

Jiang Fengmian felt cold at those words. He always thought his children would be the ones to heal the scars left by their mother on Wei Wuxian, but just the concise way he spoke about them, he knows that wasn’t true. Now his best friend’s son sat in front of him, confessing to not thinking he will live to see himself become a man. Cangse and Changze must be furious in their graves as the sweet smiling son they raised endured pain because of a jealous woman and a cowardly man. Sighing, he did the only thing he could to make things right and accepted the boy’s wishes.

At age 14, Wei Wuxian left Lotus Pier and never looked back.

Wei Wuxian leaves Lotus Pier and while things change something’s are just set in fate.

Here We Go Again, by Alliandra, rated T

He looked over to where the swordswoman was still fighting, but her focus seemed entirely locked onto that fight so it was unlikely that she could have had anything to do with the energy drain. He was still wracking his brain for something else to do to assist, so this thing didn’t kill them both, but now he was feeling weak, dizzy and currently not far from helpless.

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been several months since the events at the Guanyin temple and Wei Wuxian is wandering around on his own. After he helps a stranger kill a very dangerous beast he uncovers what seems to be a conspiracy aimed at ending his life. He heads back to Cloud Recesses with his new companion in tow, looking to get Lan Wanji's help in working out what is involved.

Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling made a surprising discovery under Koi Tower that may well be linked to the threat against Wei Wuxian's life.

Can they all work together to find out what is going on and put a stop to it, before something disastrous occurs?

Nie Huaisang's Ten Steps to Fix The Fucked Up Reality, by cosmic_zephyr (ProudHaikyuuTrash)

1. Find the time travel array in the Nie library 2. Convince (manipulate) Wei Wuxian to use demonic cultivation to activate the array. 3. Transmigrate to the body of your 15-year-old selves with Wei Wuxian and Survive his wrath. 4. Come up with yet another exaggerated, slightly concerning, plan to save Lotus Pier, Dafan Wens and your brother. 5. Use Empathy to make the Wen siblings side with you in the mess that is soon to come. 6. Kill the main Wen family and make Wen Qing the new leader of Qishan Wen so innocent people are not killed. 7. Annoy the hell out of Lanling Jin just for funsies and also a political statement because Jin Guangshan can suck it. 8 Preferably, just for your own sanity, find a way to kill Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao. 9. Work with Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing to solve the sabre problem of the Nie clan. 10. Live a happy life with your brother alive and the cultivation world not being the huge fucked up mess in your own time-line. P.S. Matchmake the pining pile of disaster and gay aka Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji.

Aka canon divergence where Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian (and Lan Wangji) travel back in time and save the cultivation world.

Deal, by Rahar_Moonfire, rated T

Nie Huaisang wants revenge for his brother. He also wants his friend Wei Wuxian back. Lan Wangji left the Cultivation World after Wei Wuxian's death and hasn't been heard from since. It's a good thing Nie Huaisang has spies everywhere. He has everything he needs to put his plan into motion: the notes, the instructions, the "willing body," and the patience to pull it all off.

Now he just needs to be sure Wei Wuxian survives long enough to pick up Nie Huaisang's bread crumbs, solve the puzzle, and shatter the Cultivation World again. The only person suitable for that job is Black Jade of Yiling, the husband of the infamous Yiling Patriarch, Lan Wangji.

Rated G:

Hadn't gone as I planned, by hamlets_ghost, rated G (part of a series)

Lan Xichen leaves the Cloud Recesses with Wei Wuxian and Wangji to meet his mother.

He cannot stay.

[continuation of 'Hold on to your heart']

[ohmypreciousgirl]

Xicheng AU Rec List

This time I compiled my favorite AU fics for @waterandsilver! Hope everyone will enjoy this list too ♥

Just Two Lost Souls 46,978

Even if it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife, husband, or companion, all Jiang Cheng really wants is to run his company, take care of his pets, and maybe get some sleep. Unfortunately the new job promotion to CEO comes with a loaded social calendar and a need for some sort of companion.

So clearly the most sensible answer is to start dating the man he's had a crush on since he was a teenager.

Because nothing could go wrong there. Sequels: Hold Me Like You Want Me; I Am Yours, If You Are Mine; Jiang Cheng and the Lans; You Get a Torch and a Flame and Burn The Path You Want.

i don't really care how much silence kills me 15,611 [Part 1 of all the lights couldn't put out the dark] It’s been around 2 years since Jiang Cheng has last seen to his brother, and a little over a year since the last time he spoke to him, when they locked eyes at Nie Huaisang’s art exhibition. Jiang Cheng had only come because Huaisang had explicitly promised him he wouldn’t be here. He knows Wuxian and Wangji have just moved back into the area after traveling, and he has every intention of avoiding them at all costs, just like he avoids his college-era crush Lan Xichen. 

But it would seem that the universe has other ideas.

charcoal on newsprint 2,151 [Part 1 of fine art] Xichen distantly realizes that there is no way Huaisang had actually told Jiang Cheng that this is a nude modeling session. He can already hear Jiang Cheng’s clear baritone, dripping with sarcasm, telling the entire dinner table “So, Zewu Jun wanted me naked in front of all his students.” at the next Lan-Jiang family dinner.Uncle is going to have his head. 

Madam Yu is going to skewer him alive before that. Or, Jiang Cheng models for life drawing in his spare time.

Family 2,514 [Part 1 of The Lan-Jiang Family] Jiang Cheng stops dead in the doorway as he takes in the horrendous state the apartment is in; toys and clothes everywhere, new furniture, child-furniture, all over the place, and no matter where Jiang Cheng’s gaze drops, it’s been taking over by stuff that belongs to a child.

A child that is still screaming, almost drowning out Lan Xichen’s attempts to calm it down.

“What the actual fuck is happening here?” Jiang Cheng blurts out and while it does nothing to stop the child from screaming, Lan Xichen freezes.

Worthy of a god 1,859 [Part 1 of The most faithful] Jiang Cheng knows that there is a chance Chifeng-zun will choose him; he is the god of war and rage and ever since Jiang Cheng was old enough to scowl there had been talk at Lotus Pier, how well he would fit with that.

But Jiang Cheng also knows that there is a bigger chance of no god choosing him at all.

Not just a vacation [Part 1 of The best catch] The next night Lan Xichen goes back to the beach. He keeps out of sight at first, hoping to catch the man unawares first, his mind still reeling from the research he did during the day.

It’s probably not what Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji wanted for him when they sent him on this vacation, but Lan Xichen needs to know what’s going on here. The only thing his research turned up were tales of mermaid and Lan Xichen is not ready to believe that.

Until he catches sight of a rather huge tail, flapping out of the water.

What Happens in Vegas Comes Home to Taiwan 3,120 [Part 1 of What Happens in Vegas] What do you do when your brother is getting married to someone you can’t stand?

The answer probably shouldn’t be to marry his brother, but in Lan Xichen’s defense, he didn’t know Las Vegas would allow drunk people to tie the knot at three o’clock in the damn morning.

A Lionheart 19,916 Wherein Xichen is a Crown Prince and Jiang Cheng is his bodyguard.

Emergency Help Wanted 76,819 EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.

how to not fall in love in a broken elevator 2,741 [Part 1 of a guide to falling in love (for runaways and heirs)] Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen get stuck in an elevator together.

Stream 4,494 He’s in love with Lan Xichen.

Jiang Cheng blinks once, twice and allows the feeling to fill him completely, at least once, before he ruthlessly squashes it down and locks it into the deepest parts of himself.

By the time Lan Xichen stops laughing and turns his attention back to Jiang Cheng, it’s as if nothing ever happened. Sequel: Umbrella - Savor

Jiang Cheng knows what he’s worth, after all, and it’s definitely not enough for the First Jade of Gusu.

How to get revenge on your brothers: A Guide by Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen 8,339 “That’s it. That’s the solution.”

Jiang Cheng opened an eye confused. “What do you mean?”

There was a weird light in Lan Xichen’s eyes and for a moment Jiang Cheng thought the other had gone crazy. “We will make them understand what it feels like seeing their brothers being… intimate with each other.”

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities 80,575 Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.

do you eat pringles with or without the shell? 32,291 Wei Wuxian smiles at him, the bastard. “I’m proud of you for figuring this out. That means Xichen-ge is your gay awakening.”

“Don’t put it like that,” Jiang Cheng sighs but he isn’t wrong.

All This Could Be Yours 17,337 After transferring to the main branch of his family’s publishing business and into his newly-acquired responsibilities as its CEO and managing director, Lan Huan finds himself stressed and burnt out. His brother recommends a solution.

Jiang Cheng is too gay to deal with this shit.

how should i know what tomorrow will bring 1,630 “If they can’t accept the fact that Jin Ling will always be there, then they might as well fuck off.” Jiang Cheng points out.

“Well, sure.” Wei Wuxian concedes. “But you don’t even give them time to know if they want to be involved with you before you’re kicking them away. That’s not how first dates are supposed to go.”

“How would you know,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, annoyed that Wei Wuxian is right. This time. “You haven’t been on a date since like, 2002.”

Children's Secrets 5,225 Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen swap nephews for a weekend. Some revelations are made.

the Magical-Realism of Awkwardness 10,168 Jiang Cheng thinks things can't get worse when he is forced to third wheel Wei Wuxian and Lanzhan's date.

Then Lan Xichen shows up and proves that things damn well can.

(Or, what shapes up to be one of the worst days of Jiang Cheng's life takes an entirely different turn.)

in the incense is tangled a cool moon 3,614 Some loves aren't meant to be, Wanyin knows. 

Pay me in love 2,770 Madame Yu watches Lan Xichen walk away, until he is out of earshot, before she turns towards Jiang Cheng.

“What are you paying him?” she wants to know and Jiang Cheng can do nothing but stare dumbly at her.

“What?” he asks when she doesn’t say anything else.

“Did you really think I would believe you’re dating Lan Xichen, CEO of Lan Enterprises? Nice try, Jiang Cheng. Now tell me what you’re paying him.”

a slight tilt of perception 5,238 It was just a dance. 

Jiang Cheng, trying to avoid the society matrons and their matchmaking-themed whispers, accepted a dance invitation from Lan Xichen, an old friend.

He forgot that his dance partner was probably the most eligible bachelor in the room.

He forgot that was all it could take: a moment, a look, hands intertwined in a dance—and everything could change.

Not at all fake 3,070 “Tomorrow,” Jiang Cheng gives back and then makes a noise as if he’s dying. “Fucking hell, I’m a dead man. If I show up tomorrow without anyone in tow—without someone in tow who can give Lan Wangji a run for his money—then I am dead.”

There’s a beat of silence and then Lan Xichen says “Take me.”

Jiang Cheng blinks a few times, processing the words, but even after a full minute they don’t make any sense.

For better, for worse 6,713 People forget marriage vows are more than pretty words. It's easy to honor them when it comes to good things but they're easily forgotten when it comes to darker times. Lan Huan, however, always keeps them in mind. To love someone like Jiang Cheng, who wears his emotions on his sleeve due his terrible parents, is to remember that love is not simple.

Glow 3,033 [Part 1 of Eldritch!Lans AU] Jiang Cheng carefully turns his head, maybe the absence of his boyfriend is what woke him up, but when he looks at Lan Xichen’s side, he’s met with something so dark it even stands out against the darkness of the night.

There’s a void next to him in bed and Jiang Cheng throws himself out of it, Zidian already crackling and sparking, illuminating the room in a faint purple.

White Lotus in Bloom 7,147 As the Crown Prince from Gusu Lan visiting YunMeng Jiang, Lan Huan was beyond excited to attend the region's famous Lotus Festival, where he meets a boy in purple and black.

Never Had I Ever 56,263 Nie Mingjue is almost certain that Jin Guangyao has an ulterior motive for dating his best friend, Lan Xichen. However despite voicing his concerns, his best friend seems unconvinced and Lan Xichen continues to date the said man. Unable to give up just yet, Nie Mingjue tries a different tactic--convincing his best friend the man is not the right person for him by setting him up. Fortunately for him, Wei Wuxian's youngest brother is very much single and seems to be just the kind of person his best friend needs. Can Jiang Cheng truly change Lan Xichen's mind, or will Nie Mingjue's plan is a disaster from the beginning?

As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.

Comfort 1,838 Wei Wuxian always pisses him off, this is common between them. Some fights, however, make Jiang Cheng sad enough to lock himself away from people and Lan Xichen has taken on the role of always being there to comfort him.

midnight comforts 1,946 At 11:36 his phone buzzed next to his ear. Lan Huan had a strict sleeping routine, but even so he was a fairly light sleeper. He answered the call—no one he knew would call him this late without reason—and murmured a groggy greeting.

“Lan Huan?”

He sat up, already rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“A-Cheng?”

“I know it’s late,” he started, voice sounding odd through the phone, “but you,” he stopped again with a gasp. Now that he was more alert, Lan Huan realized with mounting horror that the hitch in his breath, the odd thickness, was from crying. “You said I could come over whenever,” he finished, voice much shakier.

To The Beat 1,859 [Part 1 of Fever]

"The bathroom is over there you fuc--"

His words caught in his throat as he saw the person on the other side. He looked a lot like Wei Ying's boyfriend, but he was smiling and his eyes were somehow kind; comparatively, the most expression he'd ever seen on Lan Zhan's face was mild disdain.

Jiang Cheng must have been staring dumbly for a while because the man cleared his throat. There was a blush rising on his cheeks, and oh fuck, that was kind of cute.

"I apologize for interrupting your night. I was told that this room was where the people who were 'no fun' were supposed to go," the man said. His voice was deep and somehow just as smooth as his skin, which was flawless.

It Took Me So Long To Find You 6,349 [Soulmate AU]

But it didn’t take him too long to realize that he was simply not worthy of the other.

So he hoped at least that they could become friends.

Lotus Pier burned down before Jiang Cheng could think of telling Lan XiChen. And after the Sunshot Campaign, he understood, being Lan XiChen’s soulmate would not just be a burden to the other, it would be a curse.

paint my skies with your skin 15,473 [Soulmate AU] “There’s no point in this, is there?” Jiang Cheng scoffs, “We both know I am not who you want your soulmate to be.”

“Soulmate or not, you have my heart and my ribbon. Only if you want it, Wanyin.”

once upon a dream 18,438 [Part 1 of once upon a dream] An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.

[drwcn]

discordance!verse part 8 (1/2):  Yunmeng Jiang and Gusu Lan sit down to discuss damage control. 

in which wwx is lxc’s husband through political alliance, and there is an affair.

[7] | [6] | [5] | [4] | [3] | [2] | [1] [synopsis]  OR see [discordance navigation page] for all installments 

following part 3

When he was a child, the townsfolks of Lotus Pier used to tell tales of the eighteen levels of 地狱 (hell), and that when bad people died, the little demons of the underworld would drag their souls to the lowest pit and throw them into a vat of boiling oil. Jiang Cheng used to scoff and call these stories stupid, but even so, he would shrink back against his da-shixiong and cling just a little tighter onto the back of Wei Wuxian's uniform. Wei Wuxian used to laugh, pat Jiang Cheng on the shoulder and say, "Aiyo A-Cheng, like you said, it's just a stupid story. And besides, only bad people go to hell. We're not bad, so we don't have to worry about it!"

This is a rule unanimously accepted that good people are allowed to reincarnate and bad people are sent to hell to suffer, bad people like murderers and rapists, and kidnappers and adulterers - Adulterers.

If hell is a vat of boiling oil, then maybe the stories are true after all, because for seven days, Wei Wuxian burns.

For seven days, he exists in a place that is neither here nor there. He is disembodied, suspended, and unable to move or speak or see.  

There are flames dancing on his skin and a fire raging from his core through his bones. He cannot scream; he cannot run. He can neither feel nor move his limbs, or know if indeed he still has them. Each breath he takes is liquid heat flooding his lungs. His entire world is airless and yet somehow heavy like lead, suffocating him and crushing him into himself. There is no up no down, no north or south or time or space, only the never ending moment of the unrelenting pain.   Even so, in the back of his mind, where the little boy Wei Ying who grew up listening to the old wives' tales hides, he knows that he deserves every minute of this. His actions have ruined himself, ruined Lan Zhan, and if news of this gets out, he would've brought shame upon all of Yunmeng Jiang. Their First Disciple, Jiang Fengmian's treasured ward whom he favoured better than his own son, turns to be nothing more than a - how did that one disciple put it, as yes - faithless whore.

Wei Wuxian knows that he is not dead. He knows this because though he cannot speak and cannot hide, he can still hear the words of those around him: the disciples guarding his room, the healers changing his bandages, and the elders that come to check on him once a day.

I liked Wei-jun, he's nice to the juniors and outer disciples, but how could he do such a thing to Zewu-jun! -

He's ruined our Er-gongzi, you know it's true -

- loud, brash, annoying. He's not a Lan and he'll never be a Lan - Poor Zewu-jun -

I would have expected better of Lan Wangji.

Humiliated our Sect Master -

If they hadn't caught him with Hanguang-jun, I'd eat my ribbon before I believe something like this -

Betrayed him -

Used Hanguang-jun -

What does Er-gongzi even see in him?

Is it really so hard to imagine? They are both young. The young are often reckless and sentimental.

This can't be Wangji's fault.

It's not Lan Zhan's fault. How could it be? How could any of this be Lan Zhan's fault when all he's ever tried to do is shield Wei Wuxian, to be his friend, his confidant, his shoulder to lean on when he had no one to turn to in Cloud Recesses.

Wei Wuxian knows that to the outside world, he has already been granted more than he should have. A son of a servant married high above his station to the esteemed Zewu-jun, the leading cultivator of their generation, handsome, kind and the best of men. Even in death, Lan Xichen had found a way to miraculously return to him. What more could Wei Wuxian possibly want? How shameless, how greedy is he to want anything - anyone - else? 

And how dare he think that someone like him deserves someone as good as Lan Zhan?

Wei Ying…

Wei Wuxian knows he doesn't deserve Lan Zhan, but he remembers every touch, every smile, every memory, bad, good, or bittersweet. He remembers Lan Zhan's hands, warm and firm around his own, under the table where they sat side by side dredging through tedious paper work, burning the midnight oil. He remembers Bichen glistening under the sun, clashing with Suibian as they duelled in the training ground for the juniors to observe. He remembers the soft gasp that escaped those lips the first he let Lan Zhan undress him in the dark. He remembers, and remembers and remembers, and he doesn't regret. Even if it's wrong, even if it's a crime, Wei Wuxian cannot regret Lan Wangji. Not at all. Not one second of it.

Perhaps he always knew that it couldn't last. Nothing gold ever stayed. Perhaps he always knew this day was coming, but even if he could go back and redo everything, he would choose the same and fall again, and again, and again. Lan Zhan loves him, trusts him, and has given himself to him, and he will not sully Lan Zhan's faith with the ugliness of doubt.

If only he could protect Lan Zhan the way Lan Zhan has always protected him…

The pain of the lashes he can endure, but the guilt of knowing an association with him has possibly tainted Lan Zhan for the rest of his life no pain can compare.

For that, he might've cried, but he's not sure. The fire burns it all away.

On the eighth morning after the discovery of the affair, Wei Wuxian awakens from a dreamless sleep, emerging from the vapours of the fire that has mercifully dwindled. Slowly his eyes open, bringing into sight a ceiling he does not recognize.

A cool cloth is pressed against his neck. He savours the small respite, blinking several times to clear the fog from his eyes. At some point, the Lans must've removed him from hanshi where Lan Xichen initially brought him. Missing from his view is the pale tulle canopy that drapes over the bed he shares with Lan Xichen. The bed beneath him is hard too, more akin to the bed he had as a guest disciple than accommodations befitting either of the Jades.

"A-Xian…"

The cool cloth is replaced with the back of a gentle hand laying against his forehead.

Shijie…?

"Shi-shijie?" His voice croaks, hoarse from disuse. His entire mouth is desert-dry and tastes like death warmed over. How could his sister be here?! Gusu Lan actually allowed her to visit him?! Wei Wuxian has so many questions. He tries to sit up, but pain explodes across his body with even the slightest movement. Swallowing an agonized cry, he collapses back down.

"Don't get up, A-Xian. You've been running a fever for days."

Jiang Yanli's presence brings him a margin of peace and comfort, though he has questions she won't answer. Instead, she washes his face and brushes out his hair and does not say word throughout. Worry draws in her brows tightly, and the tension in her body is palpable.

When she is satisfied with the amount of lotus and pork bone soup she's managed to spoon feed into him, Jiang Yanli holds his hand and tells him that Madam Yu and Yunmeng Jiang's elders have arrived.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The situation as it stands is abysmal, Lan Zonghui knows. The public nature of the affair is such that both families are scrambling to save face.

The nine Jiang Elders, dressed in dark maroon, navy and Yunmeng violet, sit opposing them on one side of the room. On their own side, the nine most prominent Lan Elders stare stoically at their counterparts. It would have been poor manners - not to mention cramped - to invite all thirty-three of them to the "emergency family meeting". Nine is more than enough to represent Cloud Recesses, and however the discussion goes, trust is placed upon the nine to come to an arrangement that satisfies the needs and dignity of both families.

…Not that there's much dignity left to salvage. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian's sordid affair is a thing of public knowledge by now.

At the front of the room, Lan Qiren and Yu Ziyuan match each other grimace for grimace, both of equal displeasure. Lan Zonghui isn't sure whether he should be glad or upset that Jiang Fengmian has not deigned it his responsibility to show up in person, instead dispatching his lady to do the dirty work of negotiating for him.

Whether Jiang Fengmian is truly so distraught by his favourite ward's misconduct that he truly took ill or it's just another excuse to avoid facing the inevitable is inconsequential now. Yu Ziyuan - the Violet Spider - is the one they must content with, and though she is not known to favour Wei Wuxian, Madam Yu is quick-tempered, stubborn, and protective of Lotus Pier to a fault.

Whatever she lacks in care for Wei Wuxian personally, she makes up for in her pride for her clan and family.

The Lans opt to comment nothing of Jiang Fengmian's lack of attendance. On their part, Lan Xichen is equally absent. As he is the "offended" party, his presence ought to have been the most needed, but the Elders collectively decided that Xichen's behaviour in the past week has been stranger than strange. Not only was he not upset, but he seemed to have known about it all along and has been passively supporting the development of Wangji and Wei Wuxian's relationship.

Xichen is of the loud opinion that he and Wei Wuxian should be granted an amicable separation and that Wangji should be allowed to marry his divorcé in his stead. If his intent is giving at least one of the Elders a stroke, then he's come pretty damn close.

We've never consummated our marriage. Wangji and A-Xian betrayed the trust of no one. They care for each other dearly and I don't see why they shouldn't be allowed to marry.

What utter nonsense! Where on earth are the youngsters getting such wickedly inappropriate ideas??!

Xichen, he is your lawfully wedded husband, not some whore you picked up off the side of the road that you can easily gift to another!!

Those were angry careless words, not meant to be taken literally, but Xichen had visibly stiffened, the colour draining from his face.

You've bowed before Heaven and Earth, in front of Clan Elders and honoured guests. Even the disciples whisper about you and Wei Wuxian's …encounter in the Cold Pond. We've elected to overlook such an infraction, but now you dare to claim that you two are - are - Who's going to believe you?!

Perhaps, ponders Lan Zonghui, Gusu Lans are not made for love. Each time love finds one of them, it brings with it equal parts tragedy and despair.

Xichen and Wangi are both demonstrating unprecedented impertinence, qualities Lan Zonghui did not think were part of their characters, despite bearing witness to their growth.

Though…this wouldn't be the first time he misjudged a boy he thought he knew.

Wangji's fierceness when he pointed the Nie saber at his family, and Xichen's cold nonchalance towards his Elders' admonishments - it all reminds Zonghui too well of another young Sect Master Lan, twenty something years ago.

"Baiti and I have married. She is my fa'qi*, the woman I will love, cherish and honour for the rest of my life. If anyone in this sect seeks to harm her in any way, they will have to go through me first!"

Lan Cenrong had stood in this very hall, holding the hands of his bride, a woman of immeasurable depth and lethality. Bichen clutched in one hand, she had no explanation to offer in response to the Elders' outrage. Her face was sculpted in stone, and her eyes as cold as ice. The only detail that gave her away was the fingers she laced tightly between her husband's, anchoring him to her side.

Why do you stay?

Once, Lan Zonghui had gone to confront her after the birth of Lan Xichen, supposedly premature but suspiciously well formed and strong.

Can't you see you've won?! No one in this sect would draw their sword against you now. You've murdered one of our own and yet there is nothing we can do in retaliation! Do you really hate Cenrong so much that you would continue to torture him with your existence?! You can leave, we can arrange for you to disappear. You can be free. Just leave Cloud Recesses and return us our peace!

Qiu Baiti was perhaps the most unflappable person he's ever come across.

Lan Zonghui, isn't it? Brave, coming here by yourself.

Rising from her seat, she sauntered slowly towards him. The fingers of her left hand flexed, each knuckle cracking threateningly. She was a beast, and jingshi was her self-chosen cage. Zonghui was not stupid enough to think it could contain her. Even with Bichen confiscated, Qiu Baiti was deadly and terrifying enough for him to take half a step back.

Leave Cloud Recesses you say? Why would I do that? My husband is here, my son is here. This is my home. You don't know me, and you don't know Cenrong half as well as you think. Now leave, you're in my house, and you're starting to irritate me.

After that, the only people who dared to visit her was Cangse Sanren and the small group of female disciples who took care of her living.

Truth be told, it was a relief for their sect when Qiu Baiti died young.

Lan Zonghui refuses to believe even to this day that the murderess felt anything close to genuine affection for the late sect master. Mercifully, her sons were raised mostly without her corruption, though Cenrong had all but ordered Qiren to take them to see her at least once a month. If only the boys knew what kind of a woman she really was. In their minds, she was a gentle, kind soul, but nothing could possibly be further from the truth. Sometimes it frightens the Elders to think that her blood flows in their veins.

On that front, Lan Zonghui must commend Lan Qiren. As uncle, guardian and deputy sect master before Xichen came of age, Lan Qiren had done all he can to curb the influence of the pair of wayward parents on Xichen and Wangji's young impressionable minds. Nonetheless, here they are, twenty years down the road, caught in an another predicament because of foolish sentiments.    

Wangji has their mother's eyes, Xichen their mother's smile, but both of them are without a doubt their father's sons.  

Lan Zonghui resists the urge pinch his nose bridge. He can feel a migraine coming on.

I really am too old for this.

Given his impropriety, Xichen is barred from attending today's conference. He's proven that his priority is no longer aligned with that of his elders or his clan. They already have to deal with Yu Ziyuan's temper today; they could not fend against one of their one throwing them under the carriage.

"Let's not mince words," Yu Ziyuan begins. "You've invited us here, surely you've given this matter some thought. We Jiangs are reasonable people. We are not here to deny anything or to cause trouble, but let me be understood: if your intention is to xiu'fu, I'm afraid we cannot accept that."

Yu Ziyuan is a smart woman. If she allows Gusu Lan to 'xiu' Wei Wuxian then it would be seen to the world as Yunmeng Jiang taking responsibility for this scandal and for Wei Wuxian's shameful behaviour.

One Lan Elder harrumphs.

"He's betrayed his marriage and shared carnal pleasures with another, is that not justification enough for divorce? Not to mention his husband is the Sect Master of Gusu Lan. With all due respect, Madam Yu, the scandal Wei Wuxian has brought to the Lan family is also unacceptable to us."

Indignant, a Jiang Elder counters heatedly, "Yes, you are in fact correct. To lie with another when one's spouse is present is against principles of any good man, but as the old saying goes, you cannot clap with one hand. Gusu's Lan-er-gongzi, Sect Master Lan's own little brother, is a willing and equal participant, is he not? So why then must Wei Wuxian bear the entirety of the blame?"

"Well, Wangji must've been seduced!"

"Does the esteemed Hanguang-jun lack so much sense, self-control, and respect for Zewu-jun that he could be so easily seduced by his own brother in law?! Perhaps he is not befitting his title after all?"

To that the Lan Elders have nothing further to say. They grumble amongst themselves but could not deny the point the Jiangs have raised.

Lan Zonghui glances towards Lan Qiren and sees him meet Yu Ziyuan's sharp gaze across the room. They both know very well that these arguments are pointless. Both families wish for the same thing: to save as much face as possible and to emerge from this storm with their dignity relatively in tact.

To say their predicament is difficult would be an understatement. If Gusu Lan succeeds in pushing for a divorce, then all of Yunmeng Jiang would be implicated by Wei Wuxian's disgrace. However, if Gusu Lan continues to retain Wei Wuxian as husband of their Sect Master, they would be ridiculed by the cultivation world, and Lan Xichen a cuckhold fool.

Somebody has to bear the blame, and the verdict needs to be dealt fairly without prejudice nor bias.

Lan Qiren turns his gaze to the tea leaves in his cup. Yu Ziyuan mirrors his action.

Lan Zonghui sighs. There is only one way out. They know it, and so does he.

After the grumbles of discontent settle down, Madam Yu speaks again, this time more diplomatically. "It is not our intention to put our noses where it doesn't belong, but the dissolution of this marriage cannot be solely on the accounts of Wei Wuxian's adultery since the other party involved is Gusu's own Hanguang-jun.

"Given that Wei Wuxian has married into Lan family, he is one of you. What you do with him, is up to his husband and the Elders. As long as he remains Zewu-jun's legal spouse, with his name recorded in your pedigrees and an honoured spot allotted for him in your catacombs, we Yunmeng Jiangs shall not interfere with your internal business.

"True, he was our disciple and raised at my side. As his maternal presence, I admit I was lacking, but perhaps the Lan Sect can also reflect on some of your own shortcomings. I trust, Lan-xiansheng," she addressed Lan Qiren directly, "that you and the Elders will give both of our families a satisfactory response."

Lan Zonghui shares a genuine look of surprise with Lan Qiren. Surely she is not implying…?

Of course, the Elders had discussed that particular solution amongst themselves, seeing that it is the best method to save both sides, but they did not think the Jiangs would actually agree to it, especially given how close Wei Wuxian is with the ruling family. Though… from Jiang Fengmian's absence perhaps that is already telltale sign. Not to mention if the rumours of Cangse Sanren and Sect Master Jiang are true, then Yu Ziyuan would have her own personal reasons for…

"I hope, Elders, that we understand each other." Madam Yu frowns, her patience wearing thin. "Our clans have enjoyed generations of friendship, and a bigger trial is waiting for us in Lanling. That is more important to the stability and safety of our people than any romantic sentiments."

The reminder of Lanling awakens all parties present from their narrow point of view. Jin Guangshan's secret gathering of Yin Iron is undeniable. The evidence stacks against him and his ousting is nigh. Even his own son and heir has turned against him. Lan Zonghui has no doubt that Jin Zixuan's change of heart has been largely thanks to the influence and persuasion of his wife, whose mother sits before them now. The women of Lotus Pier are not to be underestimated.  

"Madam Yu," Lan Qiren raises his cup of tea in a respectful toast. "We understand and thank you for your sensibility. If you are certain, then we have no objections."

Yu Ziyuan's resolve does not waver. "I am, so let us discuss the details."  

 [2/2 tbc]

Notes:

fa’qi 发妻 - fa = hair, qi = wife. this comes from the saying 结发为妻(夫), which means to bind our hair together as husband & wife. couples will cut a piece of their hair and tie it together with a red string and put it away as a symbol of their unity/marriage. 

[ceescedasticity]

Jin Guangyao’s hoarding problem, version 2, part 2

This isn’t so much “not a fic” as a “tell-don’t-show” fic. Not sure there’s a word for that.

(This next section starts out very dark, but just remember: in a more canon timeline, every one of these add-ins died in agony!)

Tingshan He (per novel canon) is a minor sect; its leader He Su speaks against Jin Guangshan's appointment as Chief Cultivator, and for some reason the appropriate response to this is considered to be arresting the entire sixty- or seventy-person on fabricated charges of conspiring to kill Jin Guangshan and giving them to Xue Yang to be turned into animated corpses. (What the hell.) He Su tries to negotiate for mercy for the elders and children; when none is forthcoming, he calls Jin Guangyao That One Insult, and then Xue Yang cuts his tongue out and throws him in a cage of corpses in front of his screaming family. Jin Guangyao in canon is like "…I'll leave you to it," and goes back to one of his innumerable other tasks. May or may not be the same tongue Xue Yang serves later.

(Also, novel-verse, and I am still not over this, this is before Xue Yang wipes out Yueyang Chang. He's still the person who was willing to kill dozens of people over a finger, but we'll never know if he would have actually done it without this example of 'respond to insult by eradicating sect'. Anyway. This is drama-verse Xue Yang, who found his influences and made his choices a long time ago.)

Here, Jin Guangyao goes to put up some silencing talismans between this outer part of the Dizang and the inner part where his high-value prisoners are. He doesn't want to subject Wen Qing to listening to all that — he might someday, if he needs to prove a point, but that's all the more reason not to do it randomly. Besides, Wei Wuxian can't even sit up but he might still come up with something stupid to do if he heard too much screaming, since apparently he's so very concerned about random collateral damage.

He has a thought. He comes back. He tells Xue Yang to hold off on killing any of them for a bit, he wants to do a finer check.

Jin Guangyao picks out a few members of Tingshan He.

He Lei is a cousin of He Su's, and currently the youngest surviving disciple at ten. Hasn't spoken since her parents died in front of her.

He Jian is her older sister. She is twelve. Has a Jin brand on her cheek; missed her parents' deaths while passed out.

He Zhi is their older brother. He is fourteen. He doesn't have a functional tongue anymore. Was technically present when his parents died, but very distracted; also got his face clawed up a bit.

He Gangfen is in his sixties, and has been responsible for training Tingshan He's beginner disciples almost since there has been a Tingshan He. He sees almost all of them killed horribly before Jin Guangyao makes him an offer.

He can save these last three disciples. All he has to do is — voluntarily — give up his golden core. —And convince Wen Qing to do the surgery.

Wei Wuxian's agreement isn't necessary, obviously.

It's not a pleasant conversation.

He Gangfen is so far past caring about Wens or the Yiling Laozu it doesn't even come up. Wen Qing points out there is absolutely nothing guaranteeing Jin Guangyao will keep the kids alive past the surgery — that "saving" them might even mean killing them quickly. He Gangfen says there's everything guaranteeing they'll die horribly now if he refuses, so please. Please.

Wei Wuxian, who has been staring at the ceiling trying to pretend this conversation isn't happening across the room, has a moment of insight and blurts out his conclusion. There is something — not a guarantee, but there is a benefit for Jin Guangyao in letting the children live.

Because what's he going to do as is, if Wei Wuxian or Wen Qing start outright defying him? Kill them? Oh no. Terrible. Hurt Jiang Yanli and deal with Jiang Cheng's reaction? Maybe threaten to do experiments on Wen Ning oh wait. The children would be accessible, disposable hostages.

Which is better than what He Gangfen was hoping for honestly, that might even be long-term, so please.

Being in this situation with accessible, disposable hostages is not remotely appealing, but. But.

Wei Wuxian tells Wen Qing he won't ask her to do this but if she wants his consent she has it.

The surgery is a success.

(Jin Guangyao is polite enough to remove He Gangfen from Wen Qing's workroom before administering the coup de grace. He Gangfen thanks Wen Qing and Wei Wuxian first.)

The kids… well. Jin Guangyao had more criteria than just age — that was important, but he wouldn't have gone through with the idea if they hadn't met other requirements.

Not too proud to beg.

Not already trying to swear revenge.

Naive enough not to be instantly suspicious when he asked them if they'd like a chance to save their little/big brother/sister. (They don't know about He Gangfen, much less about their broader purpose as hostages. They think he couldn't come up with any easier way of obtaining menial servants for the Dizang.)

Not more scared of Wen Ning than Xue Yang. (You have to be an idiot to be more scared of Wen Ning than Xue Yang, but a number of people still manage it. Shocking.)

It doesn't hurt that the oldest one, the boy, can't talk.

The older two for sure should be able to remember Sunshot, and all of them should know the blood-curdling stories of the Yiling Laozu (they had better, Jin Sect spent money making sure those stories grew), but exposure to Xue Yang makes even that less frightening. They're cautious, and Wen Qing in particular is trying not to let them close, but — connection is happening.

All according to plan.

(There is something Jin Guangyao has not planned for: Do you know who's not very scary at all even without Xue Yang for comparison? Who is also a prisoner of the inner Dizang, inasmuch as he's hardly ever allowed to leave, at least? Who is also doing a lot of menial chores, and who might end up providing guidance for someone else doing them? Who never had much power to act with cruelty or kindess, before, and who's seen a lot more cruelty than kindness, but who lately has spent a lot of time listening to Wen Qing and Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian? Who certainly wouldn't say no to a boy almost his age respecting him and wanting to spend time in his company?)

(Mo Xuanyu, that's who.)

Wei Wuxian meanwhile is experiencing mixed feelings about his new previously-owned golden core. He feels better. He feels much better. He can tell he'll feel better yet when he's healed more, which is happening, now. He also— Well, he's hoping even more that Jiang Cheng never finds out about the transfer, now, and he wouldn't have thought that was possible. It feels less strange and more his every day, but when he thinks about it— Well. It's upsetting.

So he hopes Jiang Cheng never finds out. He hopes Jiang Cheng can forget him, now. Maybe Jiang Cheng can be happy now. He knows that last one's a long shot, but he can hope.

(Jiang Cheng is… well, he'd not worse off than the usual universe, exactly. Jiang Yanli is alive! Just — he had to face her, with everyone saying he's the one who killed Wei Wuxian and he sort of was, and with his having left her lying there when she wasn't actually dead, and she didn't say anything that sounds like a recrimination but what must she be thinking. She must be so disappointed in him, she's just too kind to say anything. And he doesn't have the distraction of obsessing over Jin Ling, since Jin Ling is still with his mother.)

(As for Jiang Yanli… Jin Guangyao is not, in fact, trying to ensure she's seen as fragile and mad with grief, and not taken seriously, and that she's afraid to push back too much because they might take Jin Ling away, or Jiang Cheng might overreach trying to back her up. She's not on Jin Guangyao's agenda at all at the moment. It's just that very few people in Jinlintai have ever taken her very seriously, least of all the Sect Leader, and 'mad with grief' seems like a reasonable explanation for her turning up in Nightless City so most people are believing it with no extra effort necessary, and Madam Jin thinks she's terribly fragile and wants to protect her, and of course Jin Ling's welfare is everyone's highest priority so if it would be better for him to be elsewhere, well, that's an option. And Jiang Cheng would back her up in a heartbeat, of course he would, but Jiang Cheng is… well, Jiang Yanli thinks he's at least as mad with grief as she is, and she's not sure he'd be careful enough, if it came to any kind of confrontation.)

(Jin Guangyao is, really and genuinely, uninvolved with the incident wherein a Jin disciple attempts to treat Jiang Yanli's 'madness' with musical cultivation and succeeds only in causing heart palpitations. Well, he's involved inasmuch as the disciple's musical cultivation was based almost entirely on spying on Jin Guangyao, but he's unaware of that until the situation blows up. Happily everything is blamed on the disciple's lack of skill and hubris for attempting such a delicate feat as musical cultivation with no proper training. Since it's not like even the adulterated music is supposed to cause heart palpitations, it probably was lack of skill. And it's very embarrassing for Madam Jin, who decided to let an amateur try rather than ask Jin Guangyao, who would have been happy to help.)

(The most important consequence of that incident is how the cultivation world spends a while gossiping about the complexity and difficulty and potential dangers of musical cultivation, so a few months later, when Jin Guangyao proposes Nie Huaisang could play a little of the Song of Clarity, and Nie Huaisang says he's flattered by San-ge's confidence but he's much too poor a student for that. The trip to the Blade Hall doesn't go smoothly by any stretch of the imagination, but as many disciples come back as don't and they do get the sealing done, so… as well as could be expected, maybe.)

(It doesn't make much of a difference in the timeline of Nie Mingjue's decline. It makes a bigger difference in Nie Huaisang's emotional stability and interpersonal support network.)

(Back to the Dizang.)

As anticipated, as soon as Wei Wuxian is well enough to move around/work, he's ordered to work on reconstructing the Stygian Tiger Seal. As a safety precaution, any time Wei Wuxian has his hands on the half-Seal, at least one the Hes will be moved to some unknown location — usually He Lei, as He Jian and He Zhi both have enough facial scarring that people would be likely to take note of them, but He Lei doesn't even talk so Jin Guangyao can just leave her with the scullery drudges for a day or so, or even send her to Moling. So, using the half-Seal to immediately blast out isn't an option. Refusing isn't an option.

But that's okay, though. Wei Wuxian has a plan. He is going to reconstruct the Seal — with safety features this time. No one said not to do that. The whole process is so intuitive and hard to pin down not even Xue Yang can really tell what he's doing. And he is still depressed and mad about the whole situation so that shouldn't give anything away.

(Xue Yang suspects he's up to something of the sort… but telling Jin Guangyao would spoil the game. And CQL-verse he doesn't have any pressing revenge to get to at this point; might as well do some fun adversarial collaboration! In between sneaking out and making trouble just to keep anyone from getting complacent.)

Wen Qing doesn't have anything much to do at the moment. She decides to see if she can get Wen Ning a little more movement back in his facial muscles. If he can move all his fingers, there's no reason he shouldn't be able to move his face.

Mo Xuanyu sneaks a bunch of bamboo slips out of the supplies of the disciples guarding the outer Dizang so He Zhi has something to write notes on.

Jin Guangyao is only getting busier, really.

***

(Up next are Nie Mingjue’s last breakdown and JGY’s marriage, but I still can’t decide on the order.)

[curiosity-killed]

sorrow waited

Word count: 2379

on AO3

“What’s it like?” he asks because he can’t quite help himself. “Dying and coming back again.” The night is alive around them, frogs and crickets singing up along the lake. He’s been trying to be better, trying to learn to lay his anger down for jiejie, for Jin Ling, for himself. His tone still comes out too sharp. Leaning back on his elbow, Wei Wuxian doesn’t answer immediately but takes another drink. Jiang Cheng doesn’t think he’s drunk but they’ve both had enough wine that he probably should be. For himself, the pleasant warmth is starting to dissipate into something heavy and gnawing deep in his belly. At last, Wei Wuxian rests his arm against his knee and tilts his gaze up toward the dark sky. “Easier the second time,” he says ------

No one comes back from the Burial Mounds. No body or spirit is ever recovered from that mass grave. After three months, Wei Wuxian returns to them, alive, and some painful knot in Jiang Cheng’s chest gives way in relief. All those Wen dogs who said he was thrown into the Burial Mounds were liars, were sniveling cowards trying to seize some power through fear even in death. His brother is alive and here, solid in his arms, and he could not have been thrown into the Burial Mounds at all. He returns and he’s alive and that is all that should matter. It’s all Jiang Cheng wants to matter. It’s not all that matters. The Wei Wuxian who returns to them is — different. Changed. It’s not just his cultivation, his refusal to wear his sword. Something fundamental has shifted, as if his spirit has been slid a hands-width to the left of his body — just enough that sometimes Jiang Cheng looks and doesn’t see his brother but a stranger in his skin. He moves differently, walks more quietly. His edges sometimes seem to flicker, blur, like the roiling black he summons with that cursed flute. His gaze grows distant, long-sighted, as if he isn’t looking at anything on this mortal plane at all. They all smell of sweat and grime on the battlefield, but Wei Wuxian smells of blood, of iron live under his skin. No one gets out of the Burial Mounds alive and so Wei Wuxian cannot have been in the Burial Mounds — but sometimes Jiang Cheng starts to think it might be the inverse instead. No one gets out of the Burial Mounds alive and so Wei Wuxian didn’t get out at all. Someone, something, else crawled out. Worry chews at the base of his ribs like a street dog. They are surrounded by their closest allies and there is no one here he can trust with this. He has friends — or well, he has had friends. He remembers Cloud Recesses, stumbling out of the house with Nie Huaisang to escape Lan Wangji’s fierce frown. Since becoming sect leader, though, things have…shifted. When he speaks to peers his own age, it’s no longer as equals but as pieces on a political board. He is constantly aware of his role, now, the responsibility he wears. More than ever he represents Jiang sect, has to be mindful of how his actions and his disciples’ actions affect their clan and the way other clans look at them. That they are in the midst of war only exacerbates his fears. Everyone is on edge these days, and with Lotus Pier still smoldering in memory, any sign of weakness leaves his skin crawling. If he were to express worry about his own first disciple, what would the other clans say? He’s the youngest sect leader already and his home in ruins, few disciples left to follow him. Vulnerability shared with the wrong person now could spell the end of Yunmeng Jiang. He could ask Nie Mingjue or Lan Xichen — they are young leaders, too, but enough older than him to feel wiser, more settled. He balks at the thought. Nie Mingjue is a fearsome warrior and leader, but his judgment is harsh and final. Lan Xichen is more amiable but Gusu Lan holds their righteous laws paramount. Sympathy toward Wei Wuxian would surely cross those lines. He thinks, briefly, of Lan Wangji. After their months searching for Wei Wuxian together, he should be the obvious choice. His dedication to Wei Wuxian is surprising but undeniable. But…but ever since Wei Wuxian returned, he has been cold and biting toward Lan Wangji. Jiang Cheng doesn’t understand what exactly happened, but he doesn’t think Wei Wuxian would accept his help now. Telling Lan Wangji of his worries would be taken as a betrayal. He has had friends among the clans, but his closest has always been his brother. Asking him about this is already hopeless. Every time someone tries to ask about his missing time, Wei Wuxian evades and obfuscates, redirects with jokes and brushes away concern. Jiang Cheng’s scared to press too hard to find that shell brittle and cracked. Yanli worries, he knows. He and Wei Wuxian both try to keep the darkness from reaching her, but he knows she sees the shadows, the ink-like cracks growing between them. He doesn’t want to add to that, and so he hides his fear behind familiar anger instead.       They don’t share quarters anymore, and it takes a few weeks for Jiang Cheng to realize it isn’t only because of that that he hardly sees Wei Wuxian. At first, he had excused it as part and parcel of living separately, of the burden of their duties. It takes time for him to even start to suspect that Wei Wuxian is avoiding him. It doesn’t take long after that to realize it’s not just him. Wei Wuxian doesn’t shirk his duties, and he is ever-present on the battlefield with his ghost flute, but where his duties end so does his presence. He disappears, wraith-like, and no one knows where he goes. Jiang Cheng’s hands clench, nails biting into his palms and Zidian crackling against his skin. Worry is a hunger that he cannot appease. He’s not surprised when the rumors start, the murmurs that stutter into silence too late for him not to hear. Yunmeng Jiang has been dogged by rumors for all his life, and for most of it, Yanli and Wei Wuxian have acted as his shields against them. Yanli’s quiet propriety shames anyone who acts out around her, and Wei Wuxian has always been quick to speak up and fight back for his honor. When he’s feeling most bitter, Jiang Cheng thinks this, too, is something Wei Wuxian has beaten him at. He had two sets of parents, twice the reason to mourn, and he has always treated both with all the duty and piety that could be asked. For all his recklessness, he has always been proud of his parents and dutiful to Jiang Cheng’s. This is what makes suspicion grow from fear. Wei Wuxian has always fought back against rumors, always railed against untruths. Now, when he hears cultivators whisper about his path, about a plan to supersede Jiang Cheng as sect leader, he doesn’t fight back. One corner of his lips curls up, never reaching his eyes, like he knows something they don’t. Jiang Cheng’s spine shivers with unease. “How does it work? With the flute,” he asks one night when he finds Wei Wuxian lounging with a bottle of wine. Normally, he would yell at him to behave himself, to stop slacking off and get to his own tent. Today, though… They won the battle today or, well, Wei Wuxian won the battle. Flute in hand and silhouette smudged with spirits, he had singlehandedly laid waste to hundreds of Wen soldiers. The rest of their force was left to pick off a few stragglers here and there, but otherwise, they had just been there to watch. It should’ve felt triumphant. Instead, Jiang Cheng had felt something sick and rotting in the marrow of his bones. Around him, the other cultivators had been uneasy, hands tight on sheathed swords. After, as they set up tents and patrols for the night, Wei Wuxian had disappeared again, chased by his white shadow. But there was a moment, a flicker of an instant as everyone started to turn away. Jiang Cheng had only seen it because he’d glanced back, looking for his brother. Wei Wuxian stood alone at the crest of the hill, drenched in the sunset’s bloodred, and as he lowered the flute from his lips, he’d stumbled back half a step and reached one hand to clutch at the fabric over his chest. Even in the ruddy light his face had been too sallow and gaunt, his eyes shadows smudged into the pale of his skin. Ever since, the cavity of Jiang Cheng’s chest has ached. He is tired and scared and he wants his brother. When he sees the lanky figure strewn across the rocks like a body after a great fall, he can’t summon any anger. Clearing his throat, he steps up to Wei Wuxian’s side and folds down to sit beside him. Now, Wei Wuxian lolls back on his elbow and rolls the jug of wine in his hand. “Jiang Cheng,” he says with that voice he gets, when he’s telling a story or riling someone up, “if I told you I died and came back as a resentful spirit — would you believe me?” His head rolls toward Jiang Cheng just enough that Jiang Cheng can see his eyes slant toward him, the corner of his lips curved up in a sword’s edge smile. The question unsettles something deep within him, like a bone fragment rattling between his ribs. He forces himself to shove it deep down, draw up a façade of indignation. “You — shut up,” he says, shoving Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. Wei Wuxian sways with the motion, rolling his gaze away again. He lifts his wine but pauses without bringing it to his lips. From this angle, Jiang Cheng can make out the sharp curve of his jaw, the shadowed slash of his mouth. His hair hangs black as ink between them. He breathes out a laugh, then, finally, empties the bottle. When Wei Wuxian perches before the palace with black writhing around him and turns the battle on end, Jiang Cheng knows with bone-deep surety that there is no going back. Calamity has arrived, and it wears his brother’s face. Years later, when the blood has soaked into the battlefields and his family is dead, Jiang Cheng looks for a body. The rocks at the bottom of the cliff are jagged and veined with red, like arteries without skin to shield them. He knows what he’s looking for, can picture it too-readily in his mind. He’s seen enough dead bodies to overlay Wei Wuxian’s face on a split skull, his familiar limbs broken across the rocks. He walks through the jagged end of the world and finds nothing. No body, no shoe, no sign that Wei Wuxian plummeted to his death here. Tilting his head back, he eyes the ledge above. His heart beats steady and numb in his chest. He has run out of ways to feel, he thinks. Pain and grief have become such constant company that he hardly notices them, like the golden core steady in his chest. He’s not sure, anymore, which of them is keeping him upright. They’ve become a network, interwoven, fascia that binds him together. He walks forward a little more, trying to estimate how far his body could have been pulled or swayed by the air as he fell. Casting his gaze out a little farther, he still sees nothing but toothed stone. A flutter of red shivers in his periphery. Turning, sharp, he slips on the rock and goes down hard on a hand and knee. The stone slices his palm, a ragged gash that speckles with red immediately. He shoves off the rock, propelling himself toward the movement. If he’s there, if there’s a body, if — It’s only a tassel. Vermillion, blood-soaked, it dances on a low wind. Chenqing lays on the rock like it might on a stand, supported at its center by a fork in the stone. He stares at it, stomach clenching tight and painful. Anger rises, slow and sure as a tide, up his back. He can feel it in the constriction of his throat, the clench of his jaw as his teeth grit together. He hates this flute. He hates the smooth black-and-red lacquer, the careful engravings across its surface. He hates the red tassel, the jade lotus dangling above it. He hates the energy it summons and he hates the memories it resurrects. He hates it for his brother choosing it over Suibian, over the sword he carried for years. He reaches out, jerkily, to grab the flute with the thought to break it. Maybe if he snapped it over his knee or cracked it against the rock, maybe that would help. Maybe it would release this ocean of grief and anger that laps at his lips, all saltwater-sting. Maybe if he destroyed this flute it would bring back some better version of his brother, or at least make it not hurt so fucking much to remember him. His palm connects with the flute, fingers closing tight around it and — He can’t. He draws it close and stares at it and he hates it. He hates it and all that it represents, all that it has done — and he cannot destroy it. There is no body here. There is nothing left of Wei Wuxian except this, charred-bone-black and gleaming. No resentful energy spills off of it, nothing lashes out at his touch. He’d almost expected it to react to his blood, to the open wound cut through his palm. Instead, it lies inert and cool in his hand. It’s nothing more than a flute, after all, an instrument, a weapon, useless without its master. Swallowing, he slides it into his sleeve and turns to make the long walk back. There is nothing left for him here but the dry wind and the memory of the worst day of his life. He folds his sorrow into a sea in the shape of his heart and looks away.

[bloody-bee-tea]

JC Love Month 2020 Day 10

Knowledge

Day 10 of JC Love Month brings more Mingcheng, where JC at first rejects NMJ but then comes to the conclusion that if his parents will never be happy with what he does, then he can at least make the decision that will make him happy.

Nie Mingjue sees what Jiang Cheng’s answer to his confession will be on his face long before he even opens his mouth.

He has known this would be the answer, but the knowledge still doesn’t make it any easier to bear, if he’s being honest.

“I can’t,” Jiang Cheng says and he puts his arms around him as if he needs to protect himself from Nie Mingjue.

That hurts more than the rejection, actually.

“It’s okay,” Nie Mingjue tells him, even though it doesn’t feel like it’s okay, at least not at that moment.

“I just—I mean—I love you, too,” Jiang Cheng says, and that actually comes out as a surprise to Nie Mingjue.

“What?” he asks, completely stunned by this turn of events and Jiang Cheng gives him something that should probably be a smile, but comes out more as a grimace.

“I love you, of course I do, I have for a while,” Jiang Cheng tells him and Nie Mingjue hates how his voice shakes as he says it. “But my parents, they would never accept this,” Jiang Cheng says with a little shake of his head and then covers his face with his hand. “So I can’t.”

Nie Mingjue knows that Jiang Cheng’s family life is not the easiest—understatement of the year, really—but he didn’t think it was that bad.

“I don’t want to put you into a tight spot with them,” Nie Mingjue awkwardly says and Jiang Cheng lets out a shuddering breath.

“I know that,” he gives back but he still seems unhappy.

It makes sense, if he truly does feel the same for Nie Mingjue.

“Wanyin, nothing has to change,” Nie Mingjue softly says because they have been friends for so long that Nie Mingjue finds it ridiculous that this should change everything. “I’m still your friend, you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng whispers, and he sounds anything but certain about that.

“I mean, I’m not going to lie, I need a few days after this,” Nie Mingjue says, as carefully as he can, but Jiang Cheng still flinches, “but after that, we’re going back to how it was, okay?”

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng mutters, clearly not believing Nie Mingjue’s words and it only makes Nie Mingjue more determined to show Jiang Cheng that he truly meant it when he said that.

“Thank you for not suggesting that we do this in secret,” Nie Mingjue says suddenly and Jiang Cheng levels him with a look.

Nie Mingjue prefers to see his temper like this because it’s the Jiang Cheng he knows.

“Never. I’m not one to keep my relationship secret, I would never do that to a partner,” he says with vehemence and Nie Mingjue gives him a small smile.

“How very good of you,” he tells him and then has to look away when Jiang Cheng flushes slightly.

Nie Mingjue ponders briefly if he would have preferred to never know that Jiang Cheng felt the same for him, especially now that it’s clear that they are apparently not meant to be, but then he slightly shakes his head.

No, he would always want to know that Jiang Cheng loves him as well.

“I’ll get going then, alright?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng can’t look at him when he nods.

It seems like they are both going to need a few days to come to terms with this.

When he’s back home, Nie Mingjue wonders if he should have asked why Jiang Cheng’s parents wouldn’t approve of their relationship, to see if there was something he could argue against, but he berates himself for even having that thought.

He’s not going to argue Jiang Cheng into a relationship when he doesn’t want it, that’s not who Nie Mingjue is.

He doesn’t even know if Jiang Cheng is out to his parents or not. Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan are not known to be very accepting people and it’s probably not far off to guess that they wouldn’t approve of Jiang Cheng coming out to them.

Nie Mingjue never personally had to go through the same since his parents died so early, so he can only imagine how horrible it must be to know that your own parents would never accept you as you are and he just hopes that he never made Nie Huaisang feel like that.

“Da-ge, I’m home,” Nie Huaisang yells as if on cue, and Nie Mingjue calls him over to the living-room.

“Oh, you have your thinking face on. Why do you have your thinking face on?” Nie Huaisang wants to know and Nie Mingjue glares him but he can’t keep up the charade for long.

“Huaisang, come here,” he says and pats the couch next to him.

Nie Huaisang does as he says, but he’s slow to follow and clearly nervous.

“It’s nothing bad,” Nie Mingjue reassures him and ruffles Nie Huaisang’s hair, simply because he knows it annoys him.

“You’re still making me nervous,” Nie Huaisang says and smacks Nie Mingjue with his fan. “Just spit it out.”

“Did I ever make you feel like I wouldn’t accept you? Before or after you came out to me?” Nie Mingjue asks, because he needs to know right now if he failed his brother in that.

“No?” Nie Huaisang says, confusion written all over his face and Nie Mingjue scrubs a hand over his face.

“Why is that a question?”

“Because I don’t know what’s going on,” Nie Huaisang says. “Of course you never made me feel like that. I knew you were gay for as long as I can remember, so I never had to worry about you accepting me as I am, did I?” Nie Huaisang asks and Nie Mingjue nods.

“Of course not,” he says and Nie Huaisang gives him a thoughtful look.

“What brought this on?” he wants to know and Nie Mingjue sighs.

“I confessed to Jiang Cheng,” Nie Mingjue says and then shrugs. “It didn’t go so well.”

“But he loves you,” Nie Huaisang gives back, a frown on his face and Nie Mingjue gives him a sad smile.

“And sometimes that’s not enough,” he tells him. “I don’t think he’s out to his parents, and I think he doubts they would accept him as he is, and they are not going to approve of our relationship. He said he can’t do it.”

“Oh,” Nie Huaisang whispers as he understands where Nie Mingjue’s question came from. “That really fucking sucks,” Nie Huaisang then sums up and startles a laugh out of Nie Mingjue.

“Yeah. Yeah, it does,” he agrees, because what else is there to say, and then he tugs Nie Huaisang into his side, who lets out a token protest, but follows easily.

It’s good to spend a time of heartbreak with his family.

~*~*~

Nie Huaisang just left after dinner when someone knocks at Nie Mingjue’s door. He frowns, quickly scanning the room to see if he can find anything Nie Huaisang might have forgotten, but nothing springs into his eyes.

Nie Mingjue mentally shrugs and then makes his way to the door where the person impatiently knocks again.

“Yes, what?” Nie Mingjue asks, more than annoyed as he yanks open the door, only to come face to face with Jiang Cheng.

“I know you don’t want to see me for a few days,” Jiang Cheng starts, clearly not even taken aback by Nie Mingjue’s greeting and when he shuffles his feet and worries the hem of his shirt, Nie Mingjue realizes it’s because he’s so nervous that he’s just powering through whatever he wants to say.

“But I have been thinking,” Jiang Cheng goes on, and before he can say anything else, Nie Mingjue holds up his hand.

“Do you really want to do this in the doorway?” he asks and when Jiang Cheng simply blinks at him, Nie Mingjue steps to the side to let him in.

Jiang Cheng follows his invitation, clearly anxious to get back to whatever it was he wanted to say, and Nie Mingjue wonders what it can be.

He really didn’t want to see Jiang Cheng for a few days, and for him to show up here like this must mean it’s serious. Serious enough that of course Nie Mingjue will hear him out, if it’s so urgent he can’t even wait a few days.

“So tell me,” Nie Mingjue says once Jiang Cheng is in his living-room and Jiang Cheng startles as if he forgot what he originally came here for.

“I did some thinking,” Jiang Cheng says again and Nie Mingjue nods.

“So you said,” he says, mostly to break the tension and he thinks it worked when Jiang Cheng sends him a glare instead of the nervous look from before.

“I don’t give a shit what my parents think,” Jiang Cheng says and Nie Mingjue blinks at him.

That is quite the bomb to drop, especially after what he said to him earlier.

“What?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng shrugs.

“I don’t care what they think,” he repeats and Nie Mingjue shakes his head.

“That’s not right,” he says, because Jiang Cheng cares so much—it’s the whole reason he’s always so stressed—so this cannot be right at all.

“No, Mingjue, listen,” Jiang Cheng says and Nie Mingjue shuts his mouth. “It doesn’t matter what I do, they will never be proud of me or approve of me. Okay, yes, I care what they think about me, I care so goddamn much that it’s hurting me every day, but that’s just the thing. It will never change. I could be picture perfect and they would still find a flaw with me.”

Nie Mingjue is inclined to agree with him there, because Jiang Cheng’s parents are just that kinds of assholes, but he keeps silent for now.

“I’m out to them, and me being gay was never actually fine, it was just something we didn’t talk about. And then Wei Wuxian came out as bi and suddenly me being gay was a problem, because Wei Wuxian did it ‘better’. He still had the option to fall in love with a woman and why couldn’t I be like that. It was a whole thing,” Jiang Cheng says with a wave of his hand as if that wasn’t actually the worst thing Nie Mingjue has ever heard and then he goes right on.

“And no matter who I’m going to end up with, it’s never going to be good enough. My mother had this perfectly planned already; she would bring a nice young lady home that she picked, I would marry her and pretend to be happy, and we’d have lots of kids to secure the Jiang line. Everything that deviates from that is going to make her unhappy, so I never stood a chance because I deviate as early as ‘brings home a nice young lady’,” Jiang Cheng says and Nie Mingjue can only nod at that, because it does make sense what he’s saying.

“So it doesn’t matter if I am with you or not, at least not to them. They are already unhappy with me. I cannot make them approve of my relationship as long as I don’t bring home a girl.”

“What does that mean for us?” Nie Mingjue dares to ask, though he can guess where this is going.

He just needs Jiang Cheng to say it.

Jiang Cheng gives him a small smile before he goes on and Nie Mingjue wants to go over and kiss him immediately.

“If they don’t approve of me and my relationship either way, why would I make the choice that leaves me unhappy as well?”

“You shouldn’t,” Nie Mingjue agrees. “You really shouldn’t. You should be happy all the time.”

“And I would be happiest with you,” Jiang Cheng says and steps closer to Nie Mingjue. “I know you said you needed a few days, but I figured that was only when I rejected you and I’m not, not anymore. So, is this okay?” he asks, and he seems unsure all of a sudden, as if Nie Mingjue hadn’t declared his love for him earlier that afternoon and Nie Mingjue cannot let that stand.

“It’s more than okay,” he reassures Jiang Cheng and pulls him close with a hand on his hip. “You really want this?” Nie Mingjue asks again, because he needs to be sure, needs Jiang Cheng to be sure about this.

“I do,” Jiang Cheng says and smiles at him. “I love you. Of course I want to be with you,” he whispers and leans up to press a kiss to the corner of Nie Mingjue’s mouth. “If you still want me, after how tremendously stupid I was today.”

“You weren’t stupid,” Nie Mingjue corrects him. “You were concerned, and quite reasonably,” he adds. “But I will always want you. I love you, too,” he says, smiling at Jiang Cheng as well and when they kiss this time, it’s no longer just to the corner of a mouth.

Nie Mingjue suspects that there will be many fights for Jiang Cheng in the future, but he vows to be by his side all the time.

He’s not going to let him face this alone.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[kurowrites]

“I don’t want your apology.” - Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian

Playing fast and loose with canon, basically.

There is technically a second part to this, but I’m lazy right now. Give me a hint if you want more of this. ^^

—

When Lan Wangji had first laid eyeson Wei Wuxian, he had immediately known that this boy was trouble. It wasevident to anybody who had ever met him: a boy (for he could hardly be calledan adult) who was unable to follow the rules, delighted in making mischief, andwas an incurable flirt.

That Wei Wuxian was a murderer and atraitor, however, Lan Wangji would have never expected. Wei Wuxian was manythings, but not that. Lan Wangji had believed that.

He had been wrong.

—

Lan Wangji woke up early the morningafter Jiang Fengmian and Jin Guangshan had come to Cloud Recesses to negotiatethe recent fight between their children. The engagement between Jiang Yanli andJin Zixuan had been broken the previous day, though no one had gone to bedentirely satisfied. Lan Wangji had hoped the next day would bring a change, but…

An uproar outside woke him from hisslumber way before his usual time to rise. With a frown, he quickly dressed andleft the Jingshi, ready to chastise whoever had broken the sacred silence ofCloud Recesses.

What awaited him, however, was notwhat he had expected. It wasn’t a guest disciple who had broken the rules bydrinking all night and then exposing himself to all the gathered sects. Itwasn’t a clumsy servant that had accidentally caused a fire in the kitchen. Thecause of the uproar was the body of Jin Guangshan, found lying in a pool of hisown blood, stabbed to death and left lying on the floor of the library for allto see.

Though it was too late now, LanWangji immediately called for a doctor. He hastened to keep anyone else awayfrom the scene unless he personally permitted them access, and sent the servantwho had found the body into temporary confinement in the infirmary so they couldcompose themselves.

Lan Xichen arrived not long afterhim, bringing the doctor with him. He informed Lan Wangji in a harried voice that,of all things, the Yin Iron was gone as well. The Yin Iron, and, it seemed, WeiWuxian and two disciples from the Wen clan, Wen Qing and Wen Ning.

A disquieting thought entered LanWangji’s mind. Wei Wuxian had known about the Yin Iron. And Wen Qing might havebeen looking for it.

If there was one senior disciplethat could go toe to toe with a sect leader and win the fight, it was WeiWuxian.

“Gather all the disciples in themain hall,” Lan Xichen advised him, and then joined the doctor, who was alreadybent over Jin Guangshang’s body, assessing the damage.

Lan Wangji looked at the glassy eyesof Jin Guangshan, the pool of blood surrounding him, already drying. There wasno hope for him. He must have been dead for hours.

Why had Wei Wuxian done such athing?

—

“How can this be?” Lan Qiren askedfor what must have been the tenth time, as they all gathered in the main hall, butno answer was forthcoming.

Jiang Fengmian stood a little behindhim, his face pale and drawn as he held his crying daughter in his arms, tryingin vain to soothe her. Jin Zixuan stood close to them, surrounded by thegrieving disciples of Lanling Jin, his own face expressionless and clearly inshock. Lan Wangji could not blame him; not only was his father dead, he wouldalso be the new sect leader from this very day onwards. He wasn’t sure JinZixuan was ready for the role.

Lan Xichen was still overseeing theremoval of Jin Guangshan’s body, his face turned an unhealthy shade of whitethat worried Lan Wangji. Gusu had always prided itself as a neutral space,where those who would be welcomed could stay safely. This safety had now beenviolated.

The disciples from the remainingsects had huddled into a corner of the main hall, but some of the Yunmeng Jiangdisciples were missing. Jiang Cheng, upon realizing that Wei Wuxian was gone,had immediately gathered some of his fellow disciples and run after him.

Lan Wangji’s first instinct had beento join Jiang Cheng, but his brother had needed him to make sure everyone keptcalm as they started to assess the situation. But his own mind kept racing evenas he calmed down some hysteric junior disciples. How could Wei Wuxian havedone this? Why had he killed a sect leader? Had Jin Guangshan discovered themred-handed as they were stealing the Yin Iron? He needed answers. CloudRecesses, the Gusu Lan sect needed answers. Blood had been spilled on theirground. He could not forgive that.

As soon as he could, he took leaveof his brother and returned to the Jingshi. He picked up his guqin and a fewnecessities, and left Cloud Recesses to follow Jiang Cheng’s group. Lan Xichenhadn’t wanted him to go on his own, but it was too dangerous to involve thosethat didn’t know about the Yin Iron They might simply be walking into a deathtrap.

Jiang Cheng didn’t know about theYin Iron, either, Lan Wangji was sure. And while Wei Wuxian might still havemorals enough not to kill his own brother, Jiang Cheng had no idea what he waswalking into. Lan Wangji needed to hurry. He needed to find Jiang Cheng beforehe found Wei Wuxian.

A short while after Lan Wangji leftCloud Recesses and hastened after them, he realized that Jiang Cheng had made significantprogress in the short time that Lan Wangji had remained behind. The shock (and,in Jiang Cheng’s case, the anger) must have given the disciples wings. He followedafter them with equal fervor, and yet he was unable to catch up, only barelyable to follow their path. Did they have to put the strength of the YunmengJiang sect to the test now of all times?

The trail he followed quickly leftGusu, heading straight towards Yunmeng territory. It made sense; Wei Wuxian wasmost familiar with the land surrounding Lotus Pier.

But then, the unthinkable happened.Perhaps Wei Wuxian knew his brother far too well, or he had hoped that anypursuer would fall for the trick, but he apparently had managed to lead hisbrother astray; their routes diverged not far from Lotus Pier. For a moment,Lan Wangji hesitated. Should he follow Jiang Cheng, to bring him back onto theright path?

But no, there was no time for that. Hehad crossed swords with Wei Wuxian before. He could do so again. He followedWei Wuxian’s trail, knowing that at any moment, he could be slipping out of hisreach. Once he was gone, who knew what would happen.

Before long, he realized that he recognizedthe place he’d been led to. He’d never been here himself, but he knew it fromone of the many volumes of history that the library at Cloud Recesses housed.They were in Yiling now, at the foot of the Burial Mounds. And ancientbattleground, the burned earth soaked with the blood of two armies whose nameswere forgotten now. But their vengeful energy stil remained, undiminished. Theair was heavy with evil intent, growing stronger with every step that LanWangji took. The trees that had formerly been so lush in Yunmeng were barrenhere, dried up, shriveled and grey. No living, breathing thing seemed to beable to subsist here. Only the spirits of those long dead, sucking the life outof everything that dared to step foot into this hostile landscape.

That was where Lan Wangji finallyfound Wei Wuxian, climbing the slope of the mountain. Him and the two Wen siblings.

“Wei Wuxian!” he shouted.

Wei Wuxian froze and turned around.He gave the Wen siblings a sign, and the two of them vanished quickly among thecrooked trees.

Lan Wangji didn’t care about themright now. Wei Wuxian was the one holding the Yin Iron. Wei Wuxian was the onewho had betrayed them. He gripped his sword and moved closer, until he was onlysteps away from Wei Wuxian.

He looked tired, pale, his eyeswild.

He looked like a madman.

“Wei Wuxian. What have you done?”

“Lan Zhan, please, hear me out!” WeiWuxian begged, holding out a hand as if to stop him from coming closer. “It’sall a misunderstanding!”

“Jin Guangshan is dead! You killedhim on the grounds of Cloud Recesses! Is that a misunderstanding?”

Wei Wuxian shook.

“No,” he whispered. “Lan Zhan, I amso sorry. I did not want to do this to you.”

Something ugly flared in Lan Wangji’schest.

“I don’t want your apology,” he spatout, before he could think better of it.

“Lan Wangji, please,” Wei Wuxian begged.A tear rolled down his face.

“No.”

They stared at each other for amoment, wordlessly.

“Please, forgive me,” Wei Wuxiansaid. Then he raised his hand, the Yin Iron in his grasp.

It would take Lan Wangji a long timeto understand what exactly Wei Wuxian had done, but the next moment, a wall ofinvisible force slammed down between them, so violently that Lan Wangji wasthrown back, sliding down the slope of the mountain. When he had collectedhimself, Wei Wuxian was gone.

And no matter how long Lan Wangjitried, or how far he walked the circumference of the mountain, there was no wayin.

Wei Wuxian was beyond his reach.

—

Jiang Cheng eventually found him,after what must have been hours of wandering the barrierl. He came not alone.The disciples he had taken from Gusu had been joined by more disciples fromLotus Pier, and even Yu Ziyuan herself had come.

“Where is he?” Jiang Cheng asked,coming to a halt next to Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji pointed at the mountainin front of him.

“There,” he said, the words tastinglike ash in his mouth. “Behind the barrier. There is no way in.”

Jiang Cheng shook with anger. Hepushed at the barrier and got thrown back, scrabbling to stand up again, barelykeeping himself from trying again.

Lan Wangji watched him dispassionately. If LanWangji couldn’t find a way in, Jiang Cheng would never manage.

“WEI YING!” Jiang Cheng shouted. “WEIYING, COME OUT.”

But everything remained silent, noteven the sound of a bird breaking the eerie silence.

They stayed there for seven nights.

They stayed and received advice fromall the sect leaders and wise men that they could think of asking, but no onecould find a way in. As time passed, more and more wards went up inside thebarrier, until the defensive wall was so dangerous it was enough to get closeto it to have one’s strength sapped entirely away. They could do nothing butleave guards positioned around the mountain, retreat, and look for a differentway to get in.

With something not unlike regret inhis heart, Lan Wangji returned to Cloud Recesses. He was welcomed by LanXichen, still pale, but there were no words they could exchange that would relievetheir pain. There was nothing Lan Wangji could do about the pain that wasgrowing stronger in his chest every day.

Not long after his return, thefirst rumours about the demonic cultivator living in Burial Mounds started tospread. A man who commanded the dead and leeched his energy from the living.

The Yiling Patriarch, they calledhim.

Wei Ying, Lan Wangji thought to himself. What haveyou done?