#Jesus christ on a motorbike

[or-we-could-take-a-walk-together]

remus: fuck pure bloods!

sirius: please do.

[laismoura-art]

GUYS NOOOOO!

[ourtubahero-blog]

I’m having some feelings right now.

[bigtop-skies]

Homicide is a such top tier word

[moonlit-trolls]

I fucking hate playing baldurs gate with this person

[nootqueen404]

𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫!𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

(𝐫.𝐛. 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

neighbor!robin x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: living next to robin buckley...heaven on earth

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1673

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ mature content! (MDNI), implied age gap (reader is 18+!!) , fingering, oral, strap on, pet names, praise kink, fingering, oral, use of petnames, very brief mention of mommy kink, no beta read (let me know if i missed anything <3)

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this is heavily inspired by @lightvixxen ‘s concept! definitely check out their page for more neighbor!robin x reader content! <3 the ending is a bit rushed so i’m extremely tempted to write a part 2…

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

you thought you had it all figured out: great job, nice house…a good life.

that is until your new neighbor moves in next door: robin buckley.

the first time you ever see her is when she’s carrying heavy boxes into her new house.

she’s wearing a muscle shirt and loose pants.

you can see the muscles on her arm flexing as she’s picking up multiple heavy-looking boxes at once.

she lets out somewhat of a grunt as she lifts them up.

that catches your attention. you can’t help but watch from your lawn, biting your lip as your eyes wander over her athletic figure.

you didn’t even think it was possible to feel this kind of attraction towards women. you aren’t supposed to feel this way. not for women and especially not for your new, older neighbor.

of course it doesn’t take long until robin notices you too.

you sure are an eye-catcher; wearing short dresses as you’re reading books in your garden, spreading your legs wider when you feel robin’s gaze upon you.

it does take some time for you to fully understand what you’re doing or why you’re doing it…

....why you like the way she eyes your body, why you like to have her attention on you.

but there’s definitely something between the two of you…a cat and mouse game if you will.

your clothes get shorter, the looks linger for longer, robin spends more and more time in her garden to do god knows what.

all you know is that she looks good doing it.

doing work in her garden, mowing her lawn in nothing but a pair of shorts in a sports bra, her skin glistening sweaty under the hot sun.

in return for all the hard work she’s doing all day, you leave the curtains open when you change at night.

allowing her to see you getting undressed.

and you don’t stop there.

because that night is also the first night you and robin take it further than just longing stares across the fence…

your eyes never leave hers as you drop onto the bed and spread your legs for her, arching your back at the very first contact your fingers make with your throbbing entrance.

and that night is just the beginning.

because when you get back from grocery shopping the next day, robin is already waiting for you.

"that looks heavy. let me help you"

just like that, she's inside of your house, carrying your groceries for you.

you don't even have enough time to put them in their place, before robin has you pressed up against your kitchen counter...

kicking your legs apart as she's kissing your neck harshly

"you love teasing me don't you? think you can just fuck yourself with your curtains open? and you enjoyed every second of it too didn`t you? such a dirty girl...such a fucking slut"

you don't understand how her words could have such an impact on you.

but your legs shake and you feel yourself clenching around nothing

and, oh her raspy voice is making this so much worse

"you want me this bad, don't you? so desperate for me..." and she fucking chuckles right at your face.

and before you can help it, her touch is gone and she's stepping out of your space.

"maybe another time pretty girl"

and with that she's gone, leaving you dripping wet and needy for her.

after that first little incident, there is nothing holding you back anymore.

you would walk through your room topless, knowing robin is watching you from her window. you would go out without panties underneath, bending over for robin to see while she's outside. moaning her name through the night, knowing damn well your window is open only for her to hear.

one night you're being particularly loud when you see a shadow outside your window.

you immediately stop when you notice robin's presence.

you are all naked, spread out on your bed with your neighbor towering over you.

"w-what are you- you can't be here" you stutter.

"oh, but you were calling for me weren't you...?"

but all robin is really here for is to finally break that damn circle of constant teasing.

she would never admit it but she wants you just as bad

"now don't stop just because I'm here...you wanted this, didn't you?"

she sits down on the edge of your bed, the mattress bouncing under the extra weight of hers.

and when you can't help but nod, a desperate whine coming from your lips, she gestures for you to continue.

oh but it doesn't end when your first orgasm rushes through you.

"i don't remember telling you to stop"

and just like that, robin coaxes some of the best orgasms out of you, without even touching you herself.

but when she finally, finally touches you...it's literal heaven on earth.

it happens at one of your parents' annual bbq gatherings. they tend to invite the whole neighborhood and so -obviously- robin is gonna be there.

so of course you pick out a tiny little dress to wear.

when robin first see you approaching, she really can't help it but stare at the way the material looks on you, tightly clinging to your body in all the right ways.

but when you lean it close and whisper into her ear, that is when she loses it.

"i'm not wearing any panties. i thought you would like to know"

you knew you would get a reaction out of her, but little did you know what kind of reaction...

not even 2 minutes later, you're laying on your bed and robin is straddling your hips and pushing that pretty little dress up your legs

you don't miss the way her eyes go just a tiny bit wider when she feels the wetness that has pooled between your legs.

"this really turns you on huh? acting all innocent out there while you aren't wearing anything underneath that pretty dress of yours..."

before you have the chance to tell her how this is exactly what you've wanted ever since she moved in, robin flicks her fingers over your clit and your mind goes blank.

shortly after that, two of her fingers are buried knuckle-deep inside of you and she's fucking you exactly the way you've always imagined

neighbor!robin definitely has a mommy kink, like 100%!!

her fingers have the ability to make you see stars already but her mouth...

(besides the fact that she can easily multitask and whisper the filthiest things in your ear, all while fingering you through multiple orgasms)

she is a pro when it comes to going down on you

she could literally eat you out for hours, praising your pussy as she does so.

"oh, you taste so good. all for me"

robin is so fucking possessive over you and you love it

she will use every opportunity she can get to remind you that she's the only one who could ever make you feel this good

"all of this just for me doll? yeah? all mine, only mine"

robin loves to tease you, to remind you that you're practically her little fuck toy.

so it doesn't even surprise you to feel her palm on your thigh when she's visiting your place to have dinner with you.

but when dinner is over and robin explains that she's gonna need you to show her where the bathroom is, it's even worse.

suddenly you're shoved against the wall and robin's fingers are pounding into you while she's standing behind you, holding you against the door by your hair.

"be quiet or they might hear what a slut they've raised"

you love it when robin takes you with her strap.

the first time it happens, you're at her place and she makes you ride it for her while she's holding back your hair in somewhat of a makeshift ponytail.

but she's such a tease and won't move her hips the way you want her to, leaving you without any other choice but to grind down on it.

her hand on your hipbone keeps you still, restricting any further movement.

and she wouldn’t stop, not until you’re a squirming, begging mess for her.

begging her to finally fuck you the way you need her to.

“what do you want pretty girl? want me to fuck you? then say it baby. use your manners…”

you’re far too desperate to be embarrassed about the obscene noises that come from your lips.

however, it’s all worth it when robin begins rolling her hips up to meet your skin.

oh, how robin loves to watch your face whenever she hits that spot that makes you whimper im pleasure.

if she could, she would watch you cum on her strap for hours.

speaking of fucking you with her strap; neither of you will ever forget the time she took you in front of her full length mirror

her hand is yanking you back by the hair, while she’s pounding into you from behind.

“open your eyes doll, look at yourself. oh you can’t? am i fucking you this good?”

robin loves your tits. she’s literally obsessed. she will use any chance she can get to put them in her mouth. any other time she will just stare at them, especially at inconvenient times.

you are about to go out with friends and guess what? robin is watching from her window, eyes focused on your chest.

you are having dinner together? her gaze keeps wandering lower and lower until she’s just shamelessly gaping at your breasts.

robin loves to mock you while she’s inside you.

she knows damn well she has the ability to make you forget your own name with how good she fucks you.

so whenever you start babbling sweet nothings, she will make fun of you.

“oh you liked that…? when i touch you there?”

and as if that’s not enough, she chuckles in your ear.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

comments & reblogs are always appreciated 🫶🏼

[milesdahmed]

[marauderingpaige]

Okay, but if I don’t see Jesus Christ on a motorbike in season three I think I might cry.

[rpfofficial]

the one day i go out without my headphones and suddenly everyone wants to run me over!!!!!!!!! this is why you should never leave your house without phil ochs

[littlekidsteve]

JESUS PEACE WHY IS HE SO FREAKING FIT FOR THERE LITERALLY NO NEED FOR IT 😍😍😍😍😍

DILF Peter is the best version of Peter.

Ultimate Spider-Man (2024) #10

[cherryc1nnam0n]

Okay but imagine you seeing Eddie's cock for the first time and you try to run away from it because it's too big and that won't fit 😭🤚

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You both were butt naked, having been making out and taking each other's clothes off, until you got to his boxers and that's when your fight or flight kicked in, jumping off the couch you pointed at it, standing all hard and leaking wayyy past his belly button

"What? What?!" He asked desperately, your face pale like you saw a ghost

"Jesus Christ on a motorbike, why is it so big?!"

"I told you it was big, didn't think it was that big" he saw grabbing his head with his thumb and letting it fall back on his thigh "Oh come on babe, it's not too much"

"Sir, where do you think you're putting that horse?"

"Inside your stable now get over here"

"Nuh uh"

"What do you mean nuh uh?"

"Nuh uh" you started walking away from him, eyeing the monster between his legs

"Where are you going Y/n?"

"Away from your third leg"

"Aye! Come 'ere!"

"No!" You made a run for it to the bedroom but there was nowhere to hide from Eddie's massive schlong

"Babyyyyy~ You can run but you can't hide~" he sang to you coming into the room

Finally catching you he tackled you on the bed, you tried to get away from him but he held your wrists up your head and you couldn't help but giggle and each other's antics, him joining too

"No but really, is that even gonna fit?"

He smiled down at you, a smile you had seen only when he was planning something evil

"I'll make it fit"

A few minutes later, and a sloppy eating out of your pussy, you were getting your guts rearranged by Eddie's 9 incher deep inside you, he was true to his word and did make it fit

He had you literally molten into the mattress as he pounded into you, your legs jelly around his shoulders, having you on a mean mating press, all his strength going to his hips to make sure he could fuck your very brains out

"S-slow... D-down aaah" you begged but Eddie was gone in your pussy and how it squelched around his horse cock

You couldn't walk for the next week or so...

[lukolathoughts]

The ship that hasn't sunk...yet

Picture this it is night time on a gentle, rolling sea. The night is starry and bright. The moon illuminates a lone majestic ship, as she glides seamlessly through the calm waters of some unknown sea, black in it's vastness. The ship is so beautiful, that all passengers glory in it's pride and resplendence. They are proud to be aboard. The crew stand in unison at the bow to watch the calm sea, as the ship drifts on. There had been some choppy waters earlier in the week, but alas most passengers had stayed aboard unperturbed, waiting hopefully for the final destination.

Suddenly, BOOM like an incoming missile, an explosion creates a massive hole in the starboard side. The ship rocks violently, teetering to one side. Passengers and crew scream and cry in confusion as their bodies are thrown mercilessly in all directions. The ship begins to take on water.

I frantically get to my feet, holding my head, my hair in disarray. What in the holy hell was that? Someone thrusts a pair of binoculars in my hand. I am afraid to look. As chaos reigns all around me, I reluctantly lift the binoculars to my tired eyes. And do a double take.

"Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!" I exclaim, echoing the sentiments of Claire Fraser. "It cannot be..."

"It is ZG!" My second in command shrieks. "It's the USS Lutonia!"

I suddenly here a dum, dum, dum ringing in my ears like screeching static. My feet wobble on the unsteady deck and I look again.

It is none other than the USS Lutonia anchored some distance away like some forgotten tomb that rose from the depths of the sea.

"But it's just sitting there, number two!" I bark at my petrified second in command. "What is it doing?"

"I don't know ZG! It doesn't seem right..."

The USS Lutonia seems out of sorts. One side is sequestered in a unnerving darkness I do not recognise, the brown vines creeping eerily around the exterior of the ship in a sleek camouflage. The interior seems unstable and not matching the exterior of the ship. The two sides seemed to be at odds. Money had been spent on the exterior, but the interior is drab and second-hand in comparison. Trying to be something it is not. The smoking cannons are clearly visible.

As I look on dismally at the USS Lutonia, some passengers start to jump overboard. I scream to the crew to lock down the bulkheads to stop the USS Lukola taking on water. In the background, the mournful lament of Nearer my God to Thee starts playing yet again and I run over to the band, snatch the violin from one guy and chuck it overboard. I then slap his face. "Get a grip, for Gods sake man!" I holler and elbow the cellist in the ribs. "I've had enough of this shit!"

I then stomp down to the massive hole in the ship's starboard side with my crew and start the painful task of yet again patching it up. Anyone got any tape? In the end, the impact wasn't lasting. Friday I sleep.

Well guys, what a week. If June 13th hurt, this one again was a steamroller. Forget about the USS Jakola, that one is dead. Currently, sitting on the ocean floor making small talk with the Titanic. The USS Lutonia is seemingly back and bolder than ever. Or is it? I know that a plethora of other bloggers have been over this now thoroughly, but I wanted to throw in my pennie's worth.

A few weeks ago, I touched on Nicola's motorbike ride of death to Graham Norton's studio on 13th December 2024. I outlined the reasons I suspect it was a complete PR stunt, including the fact it was recorded by her PR company and released to their Instagram page. The reasons why are debatable and ambiguous, but you won't change my opinion on this unless I see footage of Nicola being whizzed through the streets of London, or at least footage of her driving off up the road on the back of the bike. In my opinion it is contrived bullshit.

Skip ahead to last Thursday 30th January where my quiet evening was hijacked by none other than Luke and Antonia emerging from a car at David Beckham's Boss event. I had touched on the Tower in my previous blogs and I had done a Celtic cross on Antonia, that I had released on you tube the day before. Sadly, the first card out in Antonia's current situation was the emperor - my card for Luke. Everyone heard my gasp and I though oh shit, but I decided to press on. Her advice from spirit was the three of swords. Let it go, let him go because there is always someone in the way. The external forces position was the the queen of cups - Nicola.

I am an empath as most of you know and what I saw from Luke last Thursday was something I had not seen since last year in the Sorrento photos. Darkness. It is something I hope to never see from him again, but I'm not that lucky. Nothing about that night made sense for me energetically. It's like a disjointed jigsaw puzzle I can't make sense of in my mind. This was further added to by the red carpet video I saw this week and the angry looks he gives Antonia. You can call me delulu, but I know what I see energetically as well as in body language and this is from the both of them. She looks petrified and unprepared and Luke just looks pissed off. If you watch his People interview and then this red carpet appearance, you might have a hard time thinking Luke is the same person.

This is an orchestrated PR stunt in my opinion. I was angry about the motorbike, but this takes the biscuit. I understand Luke's motivations, but I am still sad he felt he had to do this. I feel he pulled a 'Colin' and took matters into his own hands to fix a situation, much to the horror of his helpless PR company who have spent the last eight months trying to scrub any trace of him and Antonia from the face of the internet. It backfired badly and that is why my friends the USS Lukola is still afloat. Barely. I have found the silence this last week particularly suspicious, especially as it was Luke's birthday yesterday. Not a dickie bird from either Nicola or Antonia about the birthday boy. I am keeping a weary eye on the the anchored and ghostly USS Lutonia, silently lurking in the open waters as the USS Lukola regains passengers and tries to stop water leaking in.

There are many things I could list such as to why I think this was PR. The article from the Daily Mail that was released before the event and featured Antonia's bio heavily. Antonia seemed to be wearing an outfit from her own closet, her hair and makeup was not professionally done. She did not have her purse or phone inside the event. She has not posted about the event. Luke's odd behaviour, his refusal to put Antonia actually in his grid or stories. His liking spree last weekend of Nicola's posts and anything she is tagged in. The fact that he and Nic still often appear online together at the same time.

Another thing they seem to forget about us Lukola's, is that we have receipts and a lot of them going back months. I know full well where Antonia was for Christmas and New Year and I'm telling you, it was not with Luke Newton. She did seem to appear cosy with some other male dancers in the Maldives though, just saying.

So we will wait and we will watch quietly. We also have the hilarity of Nicola's audio book 'Misdirected' to keep us entertained on our deck sun loungers, sipping margaritas while the band plays upbeat tunes. Quite coincidental that Nicola's audiobook is called 'Misdirected' with all this misdirection going on at the moment, is it not?

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Jesus Christ on a motorbike that was painful to watch…………… they did my girl El so dirty…………………………

WHAT WAS THAT MIKE YOU LOOKED GENUINELY DISGUSTED AND DIDNT EVEN CLOSE UR EYES????

THATS THE FACE OF A HOMOSEXUAL QUESTIONING WHY HE EVER ENJOED KISSING A GIRL, AND IF HE EVER EVEN DID ENJOY IT

Utter confusion. Side glance. Shock.

Finally realised you don’t like girls huh

or at least not El, not in THAT way

help I’m still internally cringing from this scene I

[junespriince]

Wally, fresh out of the speed force: you know what I can't wait to see Damian, he's in his teens now?

Dick: yep, dami, come here.

Damian 'mfing 6'7' Grayson: yes dad?

Wally: Jesus Christ Almighty, the hell you feeding this future goalie for the Gotham City devils!? He was so tiny, 5'2, 4 apples tall little ankle bitter now he's a giant, out here about to be tall as an Amazonians women.

Dick: he's just a my little man, my sweet lil baby!

Wally: Dick, I say this kindly, that is a whole ass brick wall you made sentient, how old is he.

Dick: almost 18.

Wally: Jesus Christ on a motorbike, he has one more growth spurt, he's gonna BE as tall as an Amazonian woman. I'm going to go lay down now...

[catiuskaa]

had to make sure you’d catch it.

SUMMARY: no one expected jeongin to be the first to marry in the group, but furthermore, no one expected minho to be the one to ask you first, and certainly not like that.

REQUESTED! by a pookie anonnie right here. fluff!!! minho!!! yess!!! we love to see it. tysm for this, hope you like it as much as I did! <3

CW: use of sarcasm (because yes?), use of very stupid humour (because it makes everything better), one (1) mention if hyunlix (just for funsies) the one and only beyoncé is mentioned once (yes this is a warning because it’s a silly joke but it’ll make sense i promise) and welp, WEDDINGS MENTIONED 🗣️🗣️🗣️ WTF IS A COMMITMENT 👹👹👹/jkjk

WC: 2.1k

A/N: can someone tell jypapi that now I need more of Lee Know in suit and tie? thanks ^^

[☆◽️💐◽️☆]

Weddings.

Ah, yes.

That motherfucker.

It’s not like you had anything against the people that were marrying each other —God, no! Good for them!—, but rather how seeing husband and wife looking flawless and so in love made you feel.

Lonely.

As fuck.

But it all changed when you went to a wedding with a plus one for the first time. Well, he had been invited to a wedding, and you happened to be around and free.

It had been not too soon before you two started dating, but a small part of your brain knew that if you hadn’t seen Lee Minho in that gorgeous tuxedo that evening, or maybe before, when he blushed as he asked if you were free, then perhaps your choices would’ve been different —which was a blatant lie, because you were and still are head over heels for him, but we’ll keep it for comedian purposes—, because damn did that man look good in a suit.

It was when you entered the venue with him by your side, the flutters of going with your friend and crush to a wedding, of all places… the flowers, the setting, and, oh, the couple.

Everything was beautiful. It almost made you feel like you were the main character, the bride, despite the obvious knowledge that it could only be that gorgeous woman dressed in white, unlike you, in a short and fitted dress in a dark blue hue, matching your companion’s tie.

“I never would’ve thought you liked weddings so much.” Minho whispered in a soft snicker, as teasing as always, eyes fixated in the way you seemed to glow.

But you two were sat next to each other as the officiant spoke, and he was leaning close to you, his lips right by the shell of your ear, and Jesus Christ in motorbike, because he looked outstanding, and oh my god, because his hand was resting on your leg, warming up your body, that was also covered by his suit jacket because poor you had underestimated how cold a church could be, even in the end of summer.

‘Liked’ weddings? You would have cackled loudly if the setting had been more appropriate. If it meant that Minho would treat you like that every single day, you’d fucking marry one.

But instead, you chuckled softly, laying your hand on his, the one that still rested right above your knee, and you leaned too, silently reeling in the smell of his cologne.

“Never thought you’d take me to one.”

And it was not like you were going to know too soon, but to Minho, in that moment, time seemed to freeze as he stared at your features.

You smiled at him, and it had been like always, but to him, it was the most gorgeous smile he had ever had the pleasure to see, let alone cause, and it made his heart feel tight on his chest, a blush that ran to his cheeks and ears, as red-tinted as your lips, so sweet-looking that Minho had to hold back not to kiss you, keeping him from checking if they’d taste just like how they looked.

He didn’t just want to take you to weddings.

And with that thought in mind, months later, after several dates going coffe shop to coffe shop, falling in love with you, with the soft and soothing tone you spoke to his pets and how beautiful you looked like in his house, happily petting Soonie, he knew then and there that his house wasn’t his home anymore.

You were.

And he kissed you tenderly that night, struggling to find a way to express these feelings with words.

So it made both of you feel very giddy when years later, another wedding showed up.

“You’ve gotta be fucking with me.” He had mumbled, reading the mail as he entered back home. “Jagi, I’m home!” He stated loudly, the cats meowing him welcome.

You came from your study room, leaving an email half written to welcome him back for the day. He handed you the mail, but not before pecking your forehead.

“What’s going on?” You smiled softly in slight confussion, to which he grinned at you, head tilted to the first letter in the bunch.

You stared at it, your eyes turning wide, and read the sentence a couple times.

“There’s no way.” You covered your mouth, laughing in disbelief. “Our little Innie is getting married?”

“I think I lost a bet to Hyunjin.” Minho chuckled.

“Have you called him?” You smiled, excited, cheerfully going back to your study to pick your phone.

“I just saw that idiot back in JYP, he didn’t even tell us!”

Two months. Yang Jeongin, little baby bread, was marrying his now fiancé in two fucking months.

Minho couldn’t believe it, nor could you.

And then, as soon as autumn started to arrive, the first leaves turning different tones of red and yellow, falling to the ground.

Then, the wedding date came by.

[☆◽️💐◽️☆]

You embraced Jeongin’s wife in a tight hug.

“How does it feel?” You mumbled giddily, feeling Minho’s arm go back to your waist as soon as you let go of the beautiful woman dressed in white.

He’d been extra clingy the whole venue, and you had loved and cherished every moment of it. You both knew what that first wedding had meant for the other, all those years ago. It made your tummy fill with butterflies, ones that had been there ever since Minho swooshed your way.

The bride grinned happily, trying hard not to cry so she wouldn’t ruin her makeup.

“It’s like a dream I’m about to wake up from.” She snickered, cheeks covered in a pink hue that couldn’t be hidden with the light foundation she was wearing. “But you’ll get it quite soon, right?” She muttered with a smile, as if in confidence, like sharing a secret you were supposed to know.

“Ah?” But you were clueless.

Before realizing she could’ve fucked up a major canon event, his husband called her from affar, busy dealing with all the guests and the photographer, a tall man with little to no patience and lots of angry italian gestures.

“C’mon, quick.” Minho grinned next to you. “Let’s get to the chocolate fountain before someone eats all the strawberries.”

You two chuckled, sprinting towards the large set of tables and the main table, filled with different types of fruits and cheeses.

“Mmhhm!” You hummed, the warm chocolate melting on your mouth, mixing with the sweetness of the strawberry. “We really need one of these back at home.”

You two giggled and ate a couple more strawberries.

“You have chocolate in your mouth.” Minho mumbled.

You turned to face him, and he snickered, his hand traveling to your face and kissing the corner of your lip, cleaning it.

The chocolate tasted better like that anyways.

You felt your face flush, and you tutted at him playfully.

“You can look, not touch,” you mumbled with a toothy grin. “I spent so much time pissing off the makeup artists back at their place, I can’t have you ruin my lipstick, sir.” You chuckled teasingly.

“I can’t?” Minho raised his eyebrows, and you felt small under his stare, like a little prey. “Really?”

You blushed, pouting. “Minho, not fair.”

He laughed loudly at you, and then back hugged you.

“We should move before they realize we ate half of the strawberries.” He mumbled next to your ear, and cheekily nibbled on it for a second.

You giggled at his antics, and went back to where everyone was settled, joining and taking a couple of pictures with the group.

Your smile widened looking at them, groom and bride, who casually rambled about something you couldn’t hear.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Your boyfriend grinned curiously next to you.

You looked at him, your heart fluttered.

Weddings didn’t feel lonely anymore.

“They look so cute together.” You sighed. “So beautiful.”

Minho sighed too, his arm swiftly going back to your shoulders.

“Very.” He muttered softly. He wasn’t talking about the couple.

Laughter and conversations filled the air as guests, dressed in their finest, mingled beneath the gentle glow of twinkling lights.

“It’s time for the bouquet throw!” A loud voice announced.

You looked at Minho and winked teasingly.

“Hold my purse.” You smirked in between giggles. “This one’s mine.” He blushed at your determination.

It wasn’t that you had forgotten what catching the bouquet meant, rather just casually left that thought at the back of your mind.

Minho almost shivered, barely cathing your bag.

Marrying you?

Something felt heavier on the pocket of his jacket.

You settled in the group of women that stood a couple of feet away from the bride, who was laughing and pointing at someone in the midst of the girls.

“Good luck, ladies!” A low voice made you cackle loudly.

“Good luck, Felix!” You chuckled. “Good one, Hyune!” You sent a thumbs up to Hyunjin, and he laughed, blushing.

With excitement bubbling in the air, the moment arrived slowly, almost painfully so. A hush fell over the gathered guests, their eager eyes fixed on the radiant bride. She held the bouquet, a bundle of beautiful daisies, like a symbol of wishes waiting to be granted. With a grin, she turned around, and a playful spark lit up her eyes.

Full of anticipation, she raised the bouquet high above her head. Time seemed to pause for an instant, and then, with a joyful toss, she…

She… stopped?

You didn’t have time to frown in confusion when she turned around again.

The guests that had been crowded around you moved away, and the bride giddily walked towards you.

She squealed. “This is so cute. Here, girl. It’s yours.”

And she handed you the bouquet.

You blabered confused sounds of vowels, not quite understanding what was happening yet.

Gasps and other surprised reactions filled the venue, and you looked around, wondering what was all the fuss about.

“Sorry to ruin the fun, jagi.” A known voice sounded tenderly behind you, and then he giggled. “I had to make sure you’d catch it.”

With your eyes wide and your features displaying a soft grin of surprise, you turned around to face him.

“I fell in love with you in a wedding.” He started. “Not really, considering I had been pinning for you long before, which Felix never hesitated to say how down bad I was for you and how blind I was for not addmitting it.”

Your eyes swelled with tears, your hands covering your mouth. “M-Minho…”

He sniffed, holding back his own, a blush deep on his face.

“I fell in love with you over and over again, in every date we went to and every time you came by my appartment to say hi to the cats, claiming that you felt like they missed you, when it was most likely me who did.” He stared at his hands, fidgeting with them, his palms feeling sweaty.

He raised his head then, and stared deeply into your eyes. He chuckled, falling in love with you once more.

“I have a feeling that, over the course of our lives together, I will fall in love with you as many times as there are stars in the sky.” Minho smiled tearfully, a lump on his throat. “Over and over again.”

You started laughing as tears fell down your cheeks. He bent down on one knee, and your pulse faltered for a moment.

“Will you marry me?”

Because in your first wedding together, he did’t just want to take you to weddings and see other people getting married.

He wanted to marry you.

“Minho, I-” you sobbed, smiling. “Yes! Please!” You chuckled.

He hugged you tightly, and of course, just to make sure you knew who you were getting married to, he teased you.

“Like the one and only godess, Beyoncé, said once,” he mumbled in your ear, “if you like it and you’re sure, put a ring on it.”

“Minho!” You squirmed in between chuckles. “That’s not how the lyrics go!”

He shrugged. “English is hard,” he giggled. You laughed too, pulling him into a kiss.

You sure loved an idiot. But it was your idiot fiancé, soon to be your idiot husband.

Yours only.

[☆◽️💐◽️☆]

~Kats, who hasn’t been in a wedding since 2018, and i think it kinda shows lol

[spr1ngtweaks]

William is someone who can curse terribly when he loses his patience, but if someone is present whom he doesn't want to lose face in front of (especially his friend or child), he will subtly adjust his words.

He is not the kind of person who is completely self-controlled—that is, he is not the type who would gently change "fuck" to "fudge" or "darn" like a polite person. No, he is more subtle than that.

🔧 HOW HE "REPHRASES" CURSING:

1. Switch to sarcasm and mockery instead of direct insults.

Instead of “Bloody idiot” → “Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.�� (a tone heavy with sarcasm, even worse than outright cursing)

Instead of “For fuck’s sake” → “For heaven’s sake.” (It sounds gentle, but the tone is clearly not.)

Instead of “What the hell?” → “What in the world…?” (It sounds normal, but the tone of voice still sends shivers down the listener's spine.)

2. Use a substitute word that sounds "more polite" but still has an edge.

Instead of “Shit” → “Oh, lovely.” (Sounds fun, but there's not a bit of joy in it..)

Instead of “Damn it” → “Fantastic.” (Again, it's an unmistakable form of sarcasm.)

Instead of “Fuck” → “Bugger” / “Blast” (He's English, so when he needs to hold back, he switches to cursing in a British way a bit.)

3. Saying something that sounds very "nice," but the damage is stronger than cursing directly.

“Well, isn’t that just spectacular?” (Sarcastic to the point of wanting to punch.)

“Marvelous. Just marvelous.” (Meaning: "I'm fucking enduring a terrible suffering you bitch.")

“You’ve really outdone yourself this time.” (Meaning: "It's worse than expected.")

4. When extremely angry but still having to maintain his image, he will smile.

He will smile, but his eyes will be empty and cold. He will speak in a sweet voice, but if you understand him, you will know he is more dangerous than ever.

“Isn’t that just the funniest thing?” (Not funny at all.)

“Oh, you absolute ray of sunshine.” (Translation: "I'm stragling you in my mind.")

“Well, that’s one way to do it.” (Meaning: "Doing that is really stupid.")

5. With his children or you—when he want to curse but can't

“What in the world did I just witness?” (This is how he says "What the hell?" without using vulgar language.)

“You’ve got to be pulling my leg.” (Instead of "Are you fucking kidding me?")

“For crying out loud…” (In a restrained manner instead of cursing directly.)

“Would you look at that… Ain’t that something?” (When he is enduring something foolish but doesn't want to curse.)

💀 BONUS: When he is very angry but can't curse, he will...

He smirked, but his eyes revealed a murderous intent.

Clench his fists or bite his lip to restrain himself.

Take a deep breath, then exhale very slowly.

Staring straight into the other person's eyes in a terrifying manner, without blinking.

Place his hand on their shoulder, squeeze gently, smile subtly (very dangerous).

If you hear him say "Splendid," run away.

William has a flair for theatrics, and if he’s holding back from outright cursing, he’d dramatically overcompensate by using old-fashioned slang, theatrical phrasing, or exaggerated Hollywood-esque expressions that sound almost ridiculous—but in a way that somehow still drips with condescension and venom.

🎭 HOW WILLIAM "CURSES" WITHOUT CURSING (IN A THEATRICAL WAY)/ ALT VERSION

💀 Dramatic. Snarky. Dripping with sarcasm. A little bit ridiculous, but still terrifying if you know him well enough.

1. Old-School Hollywood Slang & Theatrical Substitutes

(Imagine a 1920s gangster film or a classic villain monologue—yes, he’d absolutely lean into that.)

“Well, ain't that a fine kettle of fish?” → (Instead of "What the f***?")

“Holy Moses on a motorbike…” → (A dramatic replacement for "Oh, for f***'s sake.")

“Good grief, Charlie Brown.” → (Instead of “Oh, hell no.”)

“Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!” → (An over-the-top way to say "Jesus Christ!")

“Well, slap me silly and call me Sally.” → (A sarcastic reaction to nonsense.)

2. Theatrical Curses That Sound Like They’re From a Shakespeare Play

(Because if he’s going to insult someone, why not make it sound like a monologue?)

“By Jove, that was an insufferable display of buffoonery.” → (Instead of "What a f***ing idiot.")

“Are you always this spectacularly obtuse, or is today just a special occasion?” → (A long-winded way to call someone stupid.)

“Heavens above, I am surrounded by cretins.” → (A more dramatic way to say "Jesus, everyone here is dumb.")

“You blithering nincompoop.” → (A classy way of calling someone a dumbass.)

3. Grandiose, Snobby Insults (Where You Know He’s Pissed but Holding Back)

(The kind of things you'd expect a sarcastic villain to say with a smirk.)

“Marvelous. Simply spectacular. A true masterclass in poor decision-making.” → (Instead of "This is the dumbest f***ing thing I’ve ever seen.")

“You, my dear, are a walking catastrophe of astronomical proportions.” → (A more poetic way to call someone a disaster.)

“Oh, you absolute beacon of intelligence.” → (The sarcasm is practically stabbing you.)

“It truly baffles me how you manage to function on a daily basis.” → (A refined way of saying "How the f*** do you even exist?")

“An astounding display of utter incompetence.” → (In other words, "Jesus Christ, you’re stupid.")

4. When He’s REALLY Trying Not to Swear in Front of You

(This is when he’s fuming but trying to maintain his "respectable" image—so he goes for old-timey substitutes that sound silly to modern ears but were once actual swear words.)

“Son of a biscuit.” → (Instead of "Son of a b****.")

“Well, butter my backside and call me a biscuit.” → (He’s completely exasperated.)

“Sweet suffering sassafras.” → (He’s in agony.)

“Oh, for the love of Pete.” → (A tame version of "For the love of God.")

“Mother of pearl…” → (A very posh way of saying "Oh, sh*t.")

“Balderdash.” → (Instead of "Bullsh*t.")

5. If He’s REALLY Trying to Insult Someone in a Passive-Aggressive Way

(This is when he’s keeping his "gentlemanly" persona but is actually being deeply insulting—if you know, you know.)

“You must be the pride and joy of your mother.” → (Translation: "Your existence is a mistake.")

“Fascinating. Truly fascinating. Do go on.” → (Translation: "You are an idiot, but I want to hear how much dumber you can get.")

“Ah, yes. Another shining example of human ingenuity.” → (Translation: "Jesus Christ, you’re stupid.")

“Tell me, do you ever get tired of being consistently wrong?” → (Translation: "I hate you.")

“A mind like yours is truly a rare and special thing… in that I sincerely hope I never encounter another like it.” → (Ouch.)

🔪 BONUS: HOW HE REACTS WHEN YOU LAUGH AT HIS DRAMATIC INSULTS

If you laugh at his over-the-top expressions instead of taking them seriously, he will:

Narrow his eyes at you, scoff, and look away.

Mutter, “Oh, for heaven’s sake,” before trying (and failing) to look unbothered.

Cross his arms and say, “You think this is amusing, do you?” (But you can tell he secretly likes that you’re entertained.)

Eventually accept defeat and smirk—because deep down, he knows he’s ridiculous.

💀 TL;DR: If William is holding back on cursing, he goes full "theater villain" mode. Expect dramatic, old-fashioned slang, sarcastic elegance, and passive-aggressive venom disguised as politeness.