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minecraftrelatedrandomness · 4 years ago

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Aqua’s Live Reactions: “Quackity Visits Dream in Prison”

Several things before we begin:

I roughly know what happens already because I read other Tumblr posts, TV Tropes (hell, I edit the pages myself), and the wiki

This is the first DSMP vod I’ve ever watched in full

My reactions will be under the cut because that thing is 84 minutes long

I didn’t watch this sooner because I had a ton of schoolwork and it’s finally the weekend

I’m watching this on YouTube, so if any ads ruin my viewing experience, you’ll also have to suffer through me ranting about it

This whole post is within the context of the SMP, so /rp and /dsmp applies to everything under the cut

0:00+ -- the beginning? absolutely cinematic with the shaders. amazing.

1:30 -- I got an ad. they just shot up in numbers since the pandemic started... ew. capitalism.

1:38 -- from cinematic scene, cut to real actual minecraft. wow.

1:49 -- damn that building really got invaded by the crimson huh

2:04 -- hey there’s music!

2:53 -- bad! uh, meeting with the tentative father in law? except... uh, he’s brainwashed into leading an egg cult?

3:02 -- oh that’s just mean. of course he’s gonna get in your way, you’re leading a fuckin’ cult and exploiting people while they are weak or demoralized

3:10 -- well yeah he did, and good for him

3:52 -- yeah tell him, boy!

5:26 -- yep, don’t waste our time, muffin face, we’re here to see dre scream

7:15 -- holy transitions, batman!

7:48 -- haven’t even reached the 8 minute mark and I can already say that you’ve outdone yourself, mr. alex quackity

8:03 -- for the love of god, grammarly, can y’all not put the ad at a time like this?

8:50 -- fucker really went all out and got a soundtrack for each chapter, huh?

9:12 -- that’s a lotta cows, dude

9:17 -- *aggressive cow breeding noises*

9:47 -- if there’s so many mobs, then put your damn armour back on, you’re at 3 and a half hearts, my dude

10:33 -- don’t you dare die right now, dipshit

10:37 -- FOR FUCK’S SAKE, STOP RUINING THE MOMENT WITH ADS

10:40 -- did he just laugh at the whole page of fuck yous?

10:54 -- he’s seriously just reading this note from his ex -- a climatic moment, mind you -- while zombies groan in the background. stop it, zombos, you’re ruining the goddamn mood

11:05 -- his “WHY” face lmfaoooooooooo

11:19 -- “ride that shit and ride it fast” that sounds kinda wrong out of context

11:29 -- another “WHY” face @ -- why am I even saying it? -- “You had the fattest ass in my cabinet”.. sir he’s engaged to two other people after he left your ass and rightfully so, so stop being a weirdo, for fuck’s sake

11:31 -- HE’S LITERALLY FACEPALMING BUT INSTEAD OF HIS HAND, IT’S HIS MICROPHONE LMAOOOOOO

13:16 -- I thought he was kidding about the y-coordinate being 26, I thought he meant z-coordinate but I guess not??

13:53 -- NO NOT ANOTHER AD

15:18 -- dude it’s so awkward to call your ex a pet name when said ex literally LEFT YOUR ASS AND GOT ENGAGED TO TWO OTHER DUDES LIKE JESUS CHRIST SIR GET ON WITH THE TIMES

15:55 -- dude half a stack of diamonds to go in there?!!? it’s so fuckin’ weird and awkward and honestly overpriced

16:20 -- HIS DAD WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF

16:31 -- what the HELL are those proportions, steve

16:55 -- why the fuck would you put the flag of the original l’manburg on your goddamn gym poster that’s obviously not a real picture

19:44 -- WILBUR WHAT WERE YOU DOING, WAIT HOLD ON 300 YEARS?!!? WILBUR SAID IT WAS JUST 9 FOR HIM!! DUDE GLATT ARE YOU NOW LIKE CLOSE TO 400 YEARS OLD?? WHAT THE HELL

20:17 -- not cool, glatt, not cool, that’s a TRAUMATIZED CHILD, SIR

22:05 -- THE LOOK ON HIS FACE LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

22:55 -- this got kinda awkward tbh, can’t we just get to the killing already?

23:20 -- watching Schlatt get mad is funny, watching a whole ass ad in the middle of it is not

23:59 -- an “essential oil diffuser”... yeah, I’m with Big Q on this one, facepalming (in my head)

25:09 -- “I was gonna tie you up to this post” what the fuck. what the serious fuck. this is why he left your ass in the dust, man, as he said, you’re a dick

25:58 -- oh please don’t tell me you picked up necromancy in high school of all places

26:04 -- oh god, he’s speaking spanish

26:08 -- “I know a bit of Spanish myself” yeah of course you do /gen

26:25 -- THIS ISN’T HIGH SCHOOL, GLATT LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

26:41 -- HE’S JUST FACEPALMING

26:52 -- and also laughing, I do not speak Spanish, I am confused and just laughing along

27:09 -- YEAH GET HIS ASS, THIS ISN’T FIVE MINUTES BEFORE SPANISH CLASS, STOP ASKING PEOPLE ON HOW TO DO YOUR HOMEWORK AT A TIME LIKE THIS

27:49 -- “YOU’RE JUST LIKE [MEXICAN DREAM]!” who’s gonna tell him

28:16 -- Mexican Dream has the flag draped around his shoulders, WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN

28:46 -- “I get really bad memories when I come see you” ok trauma confirmed, write that down as well

31:14 -- oh my god schlatt please shut up

31:18 -- “you wanna be my daddy?” no pls shut up, the relationship’s already destroyed, and Q was the one who broke it off, stop asking if he’s gonna come back, jesus christ

31:42 -- “there’s a book” FINALLY

31:54 -- my childee.................................................. why must you suffer so ;-;

32:43 -- the book was in dream’s PANTS WTF lmaoooooo like did he literally stuff that thing down his trousers or underwear or whatever and carry it around like it’s a pocket? because I’ve done that before

33:06 -- okay so glatt has seen wilbur, hates him, but also thinks he’s cute. so is that in a /p or a /r context? sir??

33:43 -- oh no indeed... glatt you are talking to the guy that broke off the engagement by KILLING YOU CANONICALLY AND JOINING THE ENEMY SIDE, HOW CAN YOU THINK HE STILL LIKES YOU

35:47 -- ooh, it’s the bet!

37:21 -- okay so we all know how this goes, don’t we, given the title?

38:22 -- wait no minimum wage while working in the government?? that brings up a whole other can of worms about the schlatt administration that I don’t really want to go into, including human rights issues (actually there’s a lot of human rights issues in the smp overall) -- in this case, labour exploitation -- and possible financial abuse

38:38 -- “let’s get risky with it” oh boy I think we know how this is gonna end

39:36 -- chapter 3! let’s go!! we know how this goes, don’t we?

39:56 -- it’s raining. isn’t it? we can’t see

40:44 -- they have things to talk about, it’s about several things... ah yes very specific /s

41:28 -- let’s do this, big q

42:03 -- last time there was a visit, it didn’t go very well.... understatement of the century

42:47 -- OH IT’S GUILT TRIPPY MANIPULATION TIME......... ok who’s gonna be the first person to make an evil lawyer joke in this fandom? /j

43:13 -- “you had one job and you fucked up” I mean, that is true, but at the same time, sir..................... guilt tripping

44:25 -- look sir I usually side with mr tommyinnit on this (the power is too great, we’re better off without it) but you’re being awfully convincing here.... or I guess that’s your job as the resident lawyer in training, and you’re doing it splendidly

45:31 -- ok so Sam did try to close off visiting privileges after all but of course the man we’re talking to has a fuckin’ silver tongue

45:54 -- “so how am I supposed to rely on you for any business opportunities?” ok wow you’re pulling that card now?

46:33 -- “I’m not gonna do anything bad” I will remember that

46:49 -- why is he placing his axe in an item frame-- NO REALLY NOT ANOTHER AD

47:44 -- ok he brought out the hand gestures plus the manipulation, let’s go

48:20 -- weapons will be good enough “for any sort of persuasion”, oh you mean like gunboat diplomacy?

48:39 -- “this is not a good idea........” well at least he knows

49:17 -- dude is going in hard right now, it’s the persuasion tactic that “I’ll make it better”, sleazy politicians use it all the time, get into office, then go fuck up the place some more

49:49 -- so that exchange in the vault was supposed to take place within a few minutes, so unless that changes................ that’s a very fast time for you to get that much blood over you, sir

50:17 -- “I’ll try for as long as it takes, Sam” ok so for the next whole ass month, you’re gonna do it

51:05 -- that’s a sign that you’ve won over him, q-- FOR GOD’S SAKE, STOP IT WITH THE ADS!!

52:53 -- “I’m gonna remember this in the long term” you better remember, quackity, you better remember

55:36 -- okay so let’s just BREAK PROTOCOL ALREADY

55:40 -- “yes I do acknowledge that” and you’re acknowledging that you’re throwing protocol out the window as well!

57:03 -- technically he didn’t sign the waiver at the end of the waiver? but technically he signed it on the title cover?

58:14 -- technically they’re following protocol right now? right? I haven’t watched previous prison visits, so I’m not 100% sure how this works... but Sam is technically helping to sneak those items in right now

59:34 -- that’s some really cool redstone!!

1:00:25 -- that is a lot of cells... so the legends and the wiki and the fanfics speak the truth... I had a different vision of what it looked like when I read the fic Dollhouse... a lot more lava (under glass) comes to mind

1:00:57 -- “you ever think I’ll be in one of these?” [...] “not a funny thing to joke about” yeah, not funny, and this is coming from the person who’s read some pretty disturbing fanfics featuring this prison

1:01:47 -- that’s two deaths to get into the prison using protocol already...

1:02:25 -- ok there’s... poison...

1:02:41 -- there’s another pit stop?!

1:03:24 -- so that’s the protocol measure that doomed-- *hiccups*

1:04:08 -- oh my GOD THAT’S A PROTOCOL?! DO THEY REFER TO CANON DEATHS FOR THIS? SIR............ I’M CONCERNED. like I get the reasoning behind it, but still...........

1:04:51 -- WHAT THE HELL THERE’S A LAVA THING AND HOW DID YOU NOT CATCH ON FIRE WHILE ENTERING THE LAVA HALLWAY OMG I CAN BARELY TYPE

1:04:54 -- oh fire res I see

1:05:40 -- dramatic music stops so Sam can give him steak lol

1:06:09 -- “if you’re gonna do this [...] do it right” *gives shears/pliers and netherite warden’s sword and axe* oh HOLY- doesn’t that make him an accomplice??

1:07:26 -- is this stuck in total darkness thing supposed to happen?

1:08:33 -- it’s time...... dre........ your time is up, sucker

1:09:24 -- are we supposed to wait this long for the lava to lower?

1:10:03 -- HI DREAM!! NICE TO SEE YOU, YA MURDEROUS FUCKER!! tell me, is the cell still stained with blood from what you did nearly 3 weeks ago?

1:11:08 -- as of my time of writing this, it would be exactly 2 months since the end of Season 2, so in your case, in your time, it would be a month, 3 weeks, and 3 days :]

1:11:24 -- since dream lost his clock, he technically wouldn’t know how long it would be between tommy’s time of death and revival, meaning either he’s lying about the 2 days, or lying about not being able to keep track of how long it’s been since he got put in jail

1:12:07 -- way to rub it in that he supposed to be powerless in the prison

1:12:15 -- “you’ve come to rub it in or something?” LMAO I PREDICTED IT

1:12:41 -- “what do people think?” ok so first of all, WOW, YOU REALLY HAVE ZERO REMORSE, and second of all, WE MOURNED HIM. WE WERE DEVASTATED. AND WE LOWKEY WANT TO MARCH IN HERE AND WRING YOUR NECK

1:12:55 -- “what, do people think [killing Tommy and reviving him] was cool?” NO. NO IT’S NOT COOL. WE THINK YOU’RE A BASTARD. AND NOT AS AN AFFECTIONATE FORM OF ADDRESS EITHER. YOU REMORSELESS FUCKER. GREEN BOY. SON OF A BLOBFISH.

1:13:50 -- “I mean... it’s good for me” no, it’s not good for you... we have approximately 11 minutes ‘til this stream ends and we all know what happens when you get in quackity’s way

1:14:29 -- “I am the book” “oh really” “yeah” so you have chosen... death pain

1:15:30 -- “yeah or what?” oh he has no idea what’s comin’ for him... OH DREAM~~~

1:15:40 -- the music stopped at “double prison”... we’re ready to pull the sadism card, right?

1:16:01 -- DRAEM PLS THAT’S EARRAPE

1:16:46 -- THAT’S SO LOUD

1:16:49 -- “you can scream for sam all you want, dream” that’s so chilling, and you know what, dream? sam gave him those tools >:]

1:17:07 -- dramatic cut... (pls don’t do gore of what happened in there, y’all, cc!dream has boundaries and we’re not crossing them, ‘kay?)

1:17:37 -- ok so there’s about 30 seconds of black screen and chilling music :]

1:17:55 -- that’s a lotta blood, sir

1:18:26 -- it’s chilling to see your mc!face up so close, sir, and you know the parallel? he was looking at the picture of himself on the el rapids poster, then it’s switched perspectives to his current face, eye scar included, so it’s like a showcase of how much things have changed since december. and also the blood. don’t forget about the blood.

1:18:43 -- he removed all the spots featuring the other members but left himself........ just as he’s the last el rapidian remaining, while the rest have moved to the kinoko kingdom..............

1:19:05 -- it’s a clip show............

1:19:21 -- no, he’s destroying it all...... it’s like an illustration, this whole destruction of el rapids ending, it’s like a showcase of how everything has changed and nothing will be the same again........

1:20:18 -- he’s literally taking several in-game days to destroy it all......

1:20:25 -- he wipes himself off the poster as well, as a show that not only is everyone else moving on, but he himself, the last remaining, is also moving on...

1:20:49 -- that cut to real life made me jump a little tbh, even if I knew it was gonna happen

1:20:56 -- and so it ends! that has been.. cinematic. amazing. sir, you have earned my like on this video, it’s taken me all evening to watch it due to various interruptions irl

1:21:35 -- HOW HAS HE NOT REACHED HIS SUB GOAL YET???

1:21:59 -- HE’S DOING MORE!!! :D

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charliehoennam · 4 years ago

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bringin’ this b*tch back because I need to write and your girl needs your helppp! I’ve posted this before and done a few, so the lines that are crossed are ones that have been done alread. If you’re interested, send in a character and a number. If you’re not sure who I write for, here’s the list again. If there’s a caracter not on the list and you’d like to send in, ask and i’ll let you know if it’s possible! Reminder: This list is not limited to strictly these characters, I am willing to write for other characters from the same film/show (including female) under request as well as characters from other fandoms (Vikings, Peaky Blinders, MCU, Triple Frontier, Sons of Anarchy etc). If you want anything specially done, please add the details you’d like included! ❤

Tom Hardy: Bane, Eames, Reggie/Ronnie Kray, John Fitzgerald, Tommy Conlon, James Delaney, Farrier, and my all time favorite jewish fluff muffin, Alfie Solomons;

Boyd Holbrook: Steve Murphy, Donald Pierce, Amos Jenkins, Quinn McKenna, Danny Maguire, Peter Kristo, William “Cap” Hatfield, Douglas Cleary, Kaden;

Pedro Pascal: Pero Tovar, Javier Peña, Oberyn Martell, Jack “Whiskey” Daniels, Ezra, Max (Bloodsucking Bastards), Francisco “Catfish” Morales;

Charlie Hunnam: Jackson Teller, Arthur Pendragon, Raymond Smith, Percy Fawcett, Henri “Papillon” Charrière, William “Ironhead” Miller;

Jon Bernthal: Frank Castle, Shane Walsh, Griff, Grady Travis, Sam Rossi.

Drop a line if you’re interested!

1. “If you’re going to kill me, I suggest you do it fast.”

2. “Oh shit, you’re a virgin?”

3. “Why the hell would you be in love with me?”

4. “Having sex and making love are NOT the same.”

5. “Sober, my ass.”

6. “Your problem is you don’t know how to be loved and that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. “

7. “It’s 2:37 in the morning. What the hell are you doing here?”

8. “I am not your enemy.”

9. “Do not make me laugh right now!”

10. “It is so on now.”

11. “I told you to lock the door.”

12. “Don’t make me pull over.”

13. “I just wanted to try out something new.”

14. “It was just a bad dream.”

15. “You said I could do it!”

16. “This is what I imagine Hell is like.”

17. “No matter what, keep your eyes closed.”

18. “There’s so much blood!”

19. “Try me. I dare you.”

20. “You had one job.”

21. “This does not sound like a good idea.”

22. “I can’t believe you got me into this.”

23. “I know you feel like you’re alone, buy you’ll always have me.”

24. “Oh my God. Fire. Fire!”

25. “Can you please shut up and let me take care of you for crying out loud?”

26. “Jesus Christ. Just lemme shave it for you.”

27. “Turn the car around! This is a candy emergency. Do not fuck with me right now.”

28. “You have until the end of this cupcake to explain yourself.”

29. “You are not dying, calm down.”

30. “I am not talking about it.”

31. “Stop laughing! It’s not funny! This is painful so come help me, you dick!”

32. “We can’t just pretend everything is fine. It’s not fine!”

33. “I don’t know what I’m doing,but I think it’s working.”

34. “Don’t go in there. There’s a cockroach with wings.”

35. “How exactly this my fault?”

36. “You’re not even listening to me.”

37. “Don’t lie to me.”

38. “Look, this is new to me alright? But I swear I’m trying here.”

39. “You have 5 minutes.”

40. “You promised you wouldn’t flip out!”

41. “You’ve never slow-danced?”

42. “Say the magic words!”

43. “It looks worse than it really is.”

44. “I’m not making any promises though.”

45. “You forgot, didn’t you?”

46. “Stop looking at me like that!”

47. “I told you so.”

48. “Did I do or say something wrong?”

49. “I’m trying really hard here.”

50. “If you don’t wanna talk, it’s okay. I’m just gonna sit here in case you do. Call it moral support.”

51."Spread them for me, angel."

52. "You gonna behave for me or will I have to teach you a lesson?"

53. "I’ll make you feel good, just relax and enjoy the view."

54. "Fuck me. I ain’t asking you. I’m ordering you."

55. "Thank you for sharing your body with me."

56. "I promise I won’t be gentle.”

57. "My weakness is seeing you on your knees."

58. "Get out of those clothes and on daddy’s lap."

59. "Listen and be good for me, kitten."

60. "Keep those eyes open. Watch and feel me.”

#or not #that's cool too #still love y'all #prompts #prompt ideas #drabbles #one shots #requests open

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davebuckleslefthand · 3 years ago

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goldenraeofsun · 4 years ago

Text

‘cause right now you're mine

set in this verse

THURSDAY, APRIL 2nd

Dean 12:01 You didn’t tell me you led Carver Prep’s quiz bowl team???

Castiel 12:15 It’s in the middle of the school day and you’re texting. What kind of example are you setting for your students?

Castiel 12:16 I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t relevant.

Dean 12:17 Haha smartass I’m having lunch in my office Youre texting me back so i see right through you And of course it’s freaking relevant

Castiel 12:20 How?

Dean 12:21 Because I got tapped to coach Edlund High's quiz bowl team this morning!

Castiel 12:21 Oh no.

Dean 12:30 Oh no is right buddy

Castiel 12:37 I thought you coached the softball team.

Dean 12:37 I can do both You’re dating a very talented man

Castiel 12:49 I know that. I just didn’t know it extended to quiz bowls and softball in addition to blow jobs and breaking and entering places to give blow jobs.

Dean 12:52 What the fuck is wrong with you I’m in school! My lunch hour is almost over I’ll have to get up from my desk very soon This is all your fault

Castiel 12:59 :)

Dean 1:00 Just for that No blow jobs for you tonight

Castiel 1:07 :(

MONDAY, APRIL 6th

Dean 11:55 I bet I can grade more midterms than you today

Castiel 11:58 I know better than to make bets with you, Dean Winchester.

Dean 12:03 It was just a kiss I bet you’re just pissed you lost

Castiel 12:04 I can’t engage in PDA in front of my niece and one of my students at a school event!

Dean 12:04 Youre such a prude

Castiel 12:06 Unlike some teachers, I maintain boundaries between my personal and professional life.

Dean 12:07 Prude.

Castiel 12:09 Did you text me on a Monday afternoon just to harass me about my reluctance to kiss my boyfriend in front of minors?

Dean 12:11 Huh Boyfriend

Castiel 12:20 Dean?

Dean 12:21 What?

Castiel 12:22 Is everything okay?

Dean 12:23 Other than *my boyfriend* refusing to even entertain the idea of a friendly wager?

Castiel 12:23 Yes, other than that.

Dean 12:23 No

Castiel 12:25 That’s good. You scared me for a second.

Dean 12:26 I did?

Castiel 12:26 Are you okay with being my boyfriend? The long gap between our messages made me realize we haven’t talked about it before.

Dean 12:27 I mean it’s a little weird My 16 year old students have boyfriends “boyfriend” seems a little I don’t know Juvenile We’re not 16 anymore, Cas Thank god.

Castiel 12:30 Would you prefer “partner”?

Castiel 12:31 It’s just whenever I hear someone call their significant other “partner” I can never tell if they are talking about their life partner, same-sex partner, police partner, or if they are cowboys. That was a joke! Ignore this. I remember how much you like Westerns. “Partners” is off the table.

Dean 12:31 HOWDY YALL THIS IS MY PARTNER CAS

Castiel 12:31 Please never introduce me to someone like this.

Dean 12:32 Only if you watch Tombstone with me tonight

Castiel 12:33 Can I still grade my midterms?

Dean 12:35 You’re killing me here Cas Yes

Castiel 12:40 I’m your huckleberry

SUNDAY, APRIL 12th

Castiel 2:19 Good luck with the softball game today!

Dean 2:21 You’d better make it up for me for missing this one Its the semifinals

Castiel 2:22 I will. Say “hi” to Claire for me.

Dean 2:27 What the hell? Why is she here? We’re not even playing Carver

Castiel 2:29 She has a crush on Kaia Nieves

Dean 2:30 Ohhhhh That explains a lot

Castiel 2:30 She thinks she’s being subtle.

Dean 2:37 I see that runs in the family Subtle as a brick wall. All of you.

Castiel 2:38 Excuse me, you had no idea about my feelings for you back in high school.

Dean 2:49 So? Charlie said you were obvious as fuck But it didn’t matter since I was a dumbass

Castiel 2:50 I prefer oblivious Less dumb Less ass

Dean 2:57 How dare you My ass is a goddamn gift. You take that back right now

Castiel 2:59 Of course. Don’t you have a game to coach?

Dean 3:01 Shit you’re right

TUESDAY, APRIL 14th

Castiel 11:18 I know how I can make up for missing that last softball game last weekend

Dean 12:01 Sorry The kids called me out for texting you 5 mins before the bell last time How the hell did i get stuck with a class full of narcs

Castiel 12:03 It’s probably karma For all the rule breaking you did in school

Dean 12:05 Hey I wasn’t that bad

Castiel 12:05 You frequently defaced school desks and returned library books after their due date.

Dean 12:06 I’m dating a narc too???

Castiel 12:07 You didn’t ask what I have planned.

Dean 12:07 OK i’ll bite What do you have planned babe? Please tell me it’s not another documentary on bees That was depressing The grand canyon one was cool though

Castiel 12:10 Speaking of narcs

Dean 12:10 This doesn’t sound good

Castiel 12:11 When I had to get my extra copy of Camus from my car, I stumbled on Miriam at the edge of the parking lot with a few more students. They were skipping class and smoking marijuana. Naturally, I reported them to the administration.

Dean 12:13 Not helping your not-a-narc case

Castiel 12:13 They received detention for skipping class.

Dean 12:13 And the drugs?

Castiel 12:13 I may have neglected to report the drug use.

Dean 12:14 Seriously?

Castiel 12:14 I still confiscated it. Research evidence shows marijuana has negative effects on the developing brain.

Dean 12:14 I guess that’s fair

Dean 12:15 Hang on Do you still have it? OUR brains are old as balls Seriously, are you telling me you have weed now?

Castiel 12:15 Surprise? I can throw it out if you’d prefer to do something else tonight.

Dean 12:15 Dont you dare!!! I’m going to get a six pack on the way home, download the last Star Wars, and we’re gonna do this right Your place or mine?

Castiel 12:16 I have been neglecting laundry lately. Yours?

Dean 12:16 You’re on This is going to be so awesome

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15th

Dean 12:06 Did you really mean to invite me to dinner with your brother?

Castiel 12:09 I didn’t mean to bring it up when we were high, but the invitation still stands. Claire told him we were together. He wants to meet you.

Dean 12:11 Oh

Castiel 12:11 You do not have to say yes.

Dean 12:13 I’ll go It just took me by surprise

Castiel 12:13 I don’t want to pressure you.

Dean 12:14 Youre not pressuring me

Castiel 12:14 Are you sure?

Dean 12:16 Look, I just know your relationship with your brother is complicated And I don’t want to stick my foot in it By accident or some other way

Castiel 12:20 We’re in a better place than I’d like to admit. I spent a long time resenting Jimmy for the time he had with Father. But it wasn’t his fault Father was a bastard who had a second family he preferred to be with. Jimmy was barely in middle school when Father started going on his “business trips”

Dean 12:21 Jesus christ You told me bit about it back in high school But I didn’t realize it was a second family situation

Castiel 12:21 Mother kept it from us for years. I still haven’t forgiven her for it.

Dean 12:21 Are you OK?

Castiel 12:22 I’m fine. It was a long time ago.

Dean 12:22 That stuff takes a long time to get over.

Castiel 12:22 I suppose.

Dean 12:23 Is it okay if you stay at mine tonight?

Castiel 12:24 Our next date isn’t until Friday

Dean 12:24 I don’t want to wait until Friday to see you

Castiel 12:27 Can you pick me up at Carver at 4pm?

Dean 12:27 You got it More time with you and my baby Win-win!

FRIDAY, APRIL 24th

Dean 11:51 Are you sure what I usually wear to school is OK?

Castiel 11:53 You texted me nine minutes early?

Dean 11:53 Shut up I had to bribe my kids For NINE extra minutes Friggin tyrants

Castiel 11:54 What did they extort from you?

Dean 11:54 I promised to throw out their lowest pop quiz grade

Castiel 11:54 That isn’t too bad.

Dean 11:54 I was already planning on doing it

Castiel 11:55 Clever of you.

Dean 11:56 You’re not just dating a pretty face But getting back to dinner with your brother Is a regular button up OK? The tie hides most of the sloppy joe stain

Castiel 11:56 I’m sure you look very handsome

Dean 11:57 I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not

Castiel 11:57 I rarely manage sarcasm in-person. What makes you think I would attempt it over text?

Dean 11:58 Good point

Castiel 11:58 You’re a very good-looking man, Dean. I’ve known this since we were 15.

Dean 11:59 Stop it you’re making me blush

Castiel 12:01 It’s the truth.

Dean 12:04 Alright, alright I’m already sleeping with you No need to butter me up

Dean 12:05 It’s just I remember how you used to talk about him The perfect big brother

Castiel 12:07 More like the perfect student and perfect son. Jimmy was honestly too busy to be much of a brother. The 11 year age difference didn’t help. When I was in high school, he already had the perfect nuclear family on the way.

Dean 12:07 Exactly

Castiel 12:08 Exactly what?

Dean 12:08 You’re lucky I know you And I know you’re not drawing this out on purpose Look, i want to make a good impression, OK? he seems like a hard guy to please.

Castiel 12:09 I That’s very admirable of you, but it’s entirely unnecessary.

Dean 12:10 He’s your family

Castiel 12:11 And I understand family is very important to you, but it isn’t the same with me. It would be very nice if dinner goes well, but if it does not, I will not care in the slightest.

Dean 12:11 Really?

Castiel 12:11 Truly.

SATURDAY, APRIL 25th

11:16 I’m sorry for my dad.

Dean 11:17 Who is this?

11:20 Claire Novak

Dean 11:21 How did you get this number?

Claire 11:23 Alex Jones

Dean 11:24 How did Alex get my number???

Claire 11:24 It was on the softball permission forms How did you not know this Didn’t you draft them?

Dean 11:25 It’s been a while I’m a very busy man

Claire 11:25 Sure. Anyway, my dad was a dick. Totally out of line last night

Dean 11:26 Shouldn’t you be texting Cas about this?

Claire 11:26 I don’t have his number

Dean 11:26 Cas wasn’t kidding when he said you guys weren’t close

Claire 11:27 Nope.

Dean 11:27 Well I am very close with my brother He’s a lawyer out in California

Claire 11:27 Good for you???

Dean 11:29 It doesn’t sit right with me that Cas doesn't have a real relationship with his family

Claire 11:31 That seems like Uncle Castiels business

Dean 11:33 But Jimmy isn’t Cas’s only family SO if you ever need a place to crash, i’m always available

Claire 11:35 Maybe my dad was right And you’re secretly a perv I’m not staying with you you freak

Dean 11:35 Jesus christ, I’m trying to say, if ALEX isn’t the only girl on Edlund's softball team you’re getting buddy-buddy with, it’s fine You should get a chance to explore that part of being a teenager While STAYING SAFE But don’t let your parents stand in the way of that side of your life

Claire 11:41 Dad wouldn’t kick me out

Dean 11:42 Maybe not. But if you are at all uncomfortable, just give cas a call I’ll forward you his contact info now

“I might have told Claire she’s always welcome at my place if she comes out to her parents,” Dean says as he pockets his phone. He turns his back on the pile of sparkling clean dishes drying on the rack by Cas's sink. Dean adds, “Hopefully she’ll ask you before she goes to me.”

They hadn't really discussed the disaster of a dinner with Jimmy and Claire. A few tense words on the drive back to Cas's house, a tacit acknowledgement in the morning not to mention it until after coffee and breakfast. But then Cas brought out his homework for the weekend, even while last night's argument scratches at the back of his mind like a fly trapped in a windowless room. So Dean did the dishes and texted Claire.

Cas looks up from his juniors’ final exams. “You were talking to Claire?”

“She texted me first,” Dean says defensively.

Cas sighs and caps his pen. It’s blue, because red pen, according to Cas, is too traumatizing a grading implement. “I’m very sorry about last night.”

Dean waves his apology off. “You warned me it could go sideways.”

Cas’s brow furrows. “Still,” he says slowly, “I told my mother and Jimmy I was gay a few years ago. I think it was easy for them to ignore it as long as I didn’t have a boyfriend in the picture.”

Dean fiddles with a dishrag as he hovers by the sink. “Was Jimmy a jackass to your other boyfriends?”

“What others?” Cas asks wryly. “None of them were ever serious enough to pique Jimmy’s interest.”

“Really?”

Cas nods and gestures for Dean to take a seat at the kitchen table next to him. He holds out his hand, which Dean takes, bemused. “I don’t know why Jimmy thought religion was an appropriate introductory dinner topic. I could tell he was trying to genuinely understand our… lifestyle, to use his word, but-”

“I got angry,” Dean says looking down at their clasped hands.

“You didn’t say anything I wasn't thinking,” Cas says simply. “I’m glad you reached out to Claire.”

“It seems like she needed it.”

“She doesn’t have a lot of adults in her life she can rely on to be in her corner,” Cas says diplomatically. “I’ve tried, over the years, but I can’t relate to her at all.”

Dean laughs. “Of course not. Teenage rebellion wasn’t really your style.”

“Ah yes, of course,” Cas says, his voice dry as chalk, “you’d be the perfect person to talk to her. The cool kids speak their own language. How could I forget?”

Dean smirks. “It’s full of references you don’t get.”

“Don’t remind me,” Cas says darkly.

Dean leans in for a kiss. Eyes dancing, as he whispers, “Relax, babe. You were always the coolest kid in school to me."

#destiel #destiel fanfic #fanfic #teacher castiel #teacher dean #established relationship #fluff #text fic #the story of us verse #profoundnet #rae writes fic

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wherethewindtakesher · 5 years ago

Text

weeeeee

the biggest thank you to @caws5749 for sending me all 134 questions 🥰

1: Name Lorena

2: Age 20

3: 3 Fears drowning, the ocean, and fishes.

4: 3 things I love my dog, my friends, and mangoes.

5: 4 turns on humor, charisma, telling me how much you want m-, and moaning.

6: 4 turns off being full of themselves, disrespectfulness, afraid to be themselves, and not showing a care about the well being of others.

7: My best friend k, f, and @brownmantwo.

8: Sexual orientation bisexual.

9: My best first date i’ve never been on a date!

10: How tall am I 5′2

11: What do I miss being fucking skinny-

12: What time were I born 10:45 pm!

13: Favorite color red.

14: Do I have a crush uh...

15: Favorite quote “I got STDS they make my coochie itch” SKSKSKDKSDKAD.

16: Favorite place my house.

17: Favorite food rice.

18: Do I use sarcasm 99.9% of my vocabulary is sarcasm.

19: What am I listening to right now “everything I wanted” by billie eilish because ya girl is depressed.

20: First thing I notice in new person how they hold themselves.

21: Shoe size 8 or 8.5 sometimes a 9.

22: Eye color dark brown.

23: Hair color black.

24: Favorite style of clothing baggy clothes or dark bold colors.

25: Ever done a prank call? yea. I use to call those numbers where it takes you to a different number to prank.

27: Meaning behind my URL its not necessarily an interesting story I just came up with it in my head one day.

28: Favorite movie too many to count.

29: Favorite song literally too many.

30: Favorite band three days grace.

31: How I feel right now fucking sad.

32: Someone I love my friends.

33: My current relationship status single.

34: My relationship with my parents its good! but there is a lot I tend to not discuss with them.

35: Favorite holiday halloween!

36: Tattoos and piercing I have I have two tattoos, both on my left arm. my finger tattoo is of a rose and my bicep is a ghost wearing a witch hat! piercing: septum, conch (but it closed) and my two lobes.

37: Tattoos and piercing I want a bunch more of tattoos and I want to get a few more ear piercings.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr to be cool like my older niece.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we do not. lots of love and respect left in between us.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? not really.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? NO BECAUSE @domromanoff and I ARE BASICALLY SISTERS AND THATS INCEST.

42: When did I last hold hands? years ago.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10 minutes to get up from bed and 5 to actually get ready.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? yes I have because I like smooth legs.

45: Where am I right now? my kitchen.

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? no ones because they'll just leave me behind and laugh at my misery. jkjk but my dear friends.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? L O U D.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? I do because rent in LA is fucking e x p e n s I v e.

49: Am I excited for anything? to go to bed.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? I have 2 of them.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? too often tbh.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? a few weeks ago I believe?

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? they should because thats their baby momma.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? yup.

55: What is something I disliked about today? waking up.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? lady gaga and scarlett johansson.

57: What do I think about most? what tattoo to get, if I should get another dog, how to annoy @caws5749 that day, etc etc.

58: What’s my strangest talent? I can move the bones in my wrist.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? im scared of fish!

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind because I am a nervous mess and I like taking control of such.

61: What was the last lie I told? “im okay”

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? both honestly! I love video chatting with @domromanoff and my friends!

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes.

64: Do I believe in magic? hell yea I grew up around all that shit.

65: Do I believe in luck? not really.

66: What’s the weather like right now? its chilly.

67: What was the last book I’ve read? jesus christ I forgot the name but its currently under my bed rn.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? YES.

69: Do I have any nicknames? clown, wueej by @caws5749, pi- prin-, bottom by @domromanoff, lore, lorecha, whore, hoe.

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I pulled my thigh muscle recently and OMG I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN.

71: Do I spend money or save it? I SPEND IT HONEY YASSSS.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? sadly no.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? my water bottle c:

74: Favorite animal? I fucking love cows.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? crying lmao.

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? nikolas is it not??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? “Judas” by lady gaga.

78: How can you win my heart? just be yourself and believe wholeheartedly of what you want and desire.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? “madi did it”

80: What is my favorite word? fuck.

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr @caws5749 @domromanoff @dailyavengers @ravenforce andddddd @supercorpbechloe there’s so many more I’m editing this rn AKSJSHSHSHS I love each and everyone’s accounts here!

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? GLOBAL WARMING IS A REAL THING YALL.

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? i think so 👀 but im not close to them.

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? maybe like telekinesis or some mind power.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? what goes on in your mind?

86: What is my current desktop picture? a winter forest.

87: Had sex? if oral sex counts then sure.

88: Bought condoms? I haven't bought them I just magically obtained them.

89: Gotten pregnant? oh god no.

90: Failed a class? yUUUUP.

91: Kissed a boy? yes.

92: Kissed a girl? yes.

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? back in middle school lmaoooo.

94: Had job? yes im on my second one rn.

95: Left the house without my wallet? all the damn time.

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no because im not a fucking asshole.

97: Had sex in public? not yet.

98: Played on a sports team? yea I was in track n field and cross country!

99: Smoked weed? I haven't but I once wanted to try it but I was to much of a pussy to skip class.

100: Did drugs? nope.

101: Smoked cigarettes? ew no.

102: Drank alcohol? y’all Ive gotten so fucked up on here so of cOURSE. my friends think I have a drinking problem ksjlksdjlkjds.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? I am not.

104: Been overweight? yea.

105: Been underweight? No.

106: Been to a wedding? I have when I was younger.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? sadly yes because of video games.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yea when I binge watched the walking dead.

109: Been outside my home country? yes!

110: Gotten my heart broken? yeah.

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes because everyone in LA has possibly been to a dodgers game.

112: Broken a bone? nope!

113: Cut myself? oh man..I have and I deeply regret doing so but its a part of me now and i’ve accepted it.

114: Been to prom? YES! best night of my life.

115: Been in airplane? once and that was it because fuck planes lsjdkjlksdjs.

116: Fly by helicopter? nope!

117: What concerts have I been to? daddy yankee and some other guy I don't remember heheheh.

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? duh im gay.

119: Learned another language? I tried (and failed) to learn japanese.

120: Wore make up? a couple of times. i’m not the hugest fan of makeup.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? nope!

122: Had oral sex? once.

123: Dyed my hair? too many times.

124: Voted in a presidential election? no but I will this upcoming one for sure.

125: Rode in an ambulance? no but I want to!

126: Had a surgery? no but I did have to get stitches on my lower lip.

127: Met someone famous? I meant jenni rivera’s brother at a movie theater once!

128: Stalked someone on a social network? yes? but not to a weird extent.

129: Peed outside? only because no one was around to open the door to my apartment complex and I couldn't hold it in-

130: Been fishing? I am T E R R I F I E D of fish so no.

131: Helped with charity? yup! I bought a shirt from one of @markiplier‘s livestreams that donated all the money to a charity.

132: Been rejected by a crush? yea.

133: Broken a mirror? I think maybe once??

134: What do I want for birthday? I want a tattoo.

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gratiasancti · 5 years ago

Text

100 PERSONAL QUESTIONS

because @ineffablequestion decided to really put my patience to the test today . not that i mind , ily .

1. What is your middle name ?

maria

2. How old are you ?

23 as of right now !

3. When is your birthday?

oct. 19th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

libra waddup

5. What is your favorite color?

i don’t really have one ? muted colours probably

6. What’s your lucky number?

again, can’t say i have one but maybe 29

7. Do you have any pets?

a dod and a horse

8. Where are you from?

finland / uk

9. How tall are you?

174 cm

10. What shoe size are you?

eu 39-40

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

like seven, if you don’t count my collection of riding shoes and boots. oxfords, brogues, wellies, trainers, and the rest are probably heels. as for riding boots, a lot.

12. What was your last dream about?

that i was late from work and got thrown in a tar pit because of it. and then i sold my old history teacher 500€ worth of alcohol and lottery tickets.

13. What talents do you have?

none?? unlimited sarcasm, idk

14. Are you psychic in any way?

i’m not sure if i believe in this stuff

15. Favorite song?

honestly, anything from hippo campus or glass animals.

16. Favorite movie?

the grand budapest hotel

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who counteracts some of my anxiety and excitedness with a calm and, when needed, firm character but is still funny and can be themselves. preferably someone who i feel is my intellectual equal, and we can share everything with each other. maybe a bit older than myself, but not by much. other than that, i really don’t care.

18. Do you want children?

currently, i can’t see myself ever having kids. just doesn’t seem like my thing. especially babies. maybe adopting or fostering could be an option, but only if i was sure i could give the child a good home.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i don’t think i want to get married

20. Are you religious?

not particularly

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

maaaaaaany times. multiple riding accidents, broken bones, a car crash. then just being an idiot in general. and chronic back problems.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

apart from once forgetting to pay for the underground and getting an 80€ fine, no.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

i’ve met and had dinner with two different finnish presidents and some other ‘upper class’ people but other than that, no.

24. Baths or showers?

one of those rain shower things

25. What color socks are you wearing?

i have no socks !!!

26. Have you ever been famous?

uhhhh not in the literal sense of the word but i’ve been infamous at school when i was like 15. made a meme of one of our teachers that went low key viral in our city.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

definitely not in the hollywood sense of things.

28. What type of music do you like?

a lot of things. anything, really, depending on the time of day and if i’m feeling particularly emo.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

that’s like the only type of swimming finnish people partake in. naked in the sauna, naked in the lake/ocean. so yes, multiple times a year jhdsnhb

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

currently like five

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

either on my back or on my stomach. depends on what place hurts that day lmao.

32. How big is your house?

closer to 400 m^2 . i still live with my parents but will move into my own flat in six months, once it’s ready. that’s going to be appx 70 m^2.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i know its a bad habit but i often dont have breakfast. if i do it's usually fruit and yoghurt or some toast.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

yes

35. Have you ever tried archery?

yes. fun fact; my cousin has won the european championchip ( in some form of archery idk ) like twice , i think.

36. Favorite clean word?

defenestrate

37. Favorite swear word?

fuck. i use it Too Much™

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

can’t remember the exact amount of hours but we were sailing and our shifts got messed up to the point where i had either not slept at all or slept so little in like four days i was genuinely hallucinating. almost jumped into the sea because i thought i dropped my life vest,,, which i was wearing.

39. Do you have any scars?

a few. dumbest one probably when i rode in my shorts but used a saddle and rubbed the skin off of my calf. also from hay work, those little dots that look almost like moles.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

not that i know of

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, unfortunately. it’s a bad habit in the sense that i tell a lot of white lies when i could genuinely tell the truth with no consequence. like, it would be the one and the same.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

also yes. i’ve seen some shit. also i have surprisingly good people skills.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i can speak english in my normal accent which is kind of queen’s english (?) upper class idk, then in world’s english ( so basically no accent / neutral ) and then in finnish (rally) english . i can also speak swedish with a rikssvenska (standard swedish ???) accent and then finlandssvenska which is finnish swedish (and an actual thing lmao). also i can butcher a norwegian or danish accent in swedish if i really try. my finnish is very neutral, but it does vary a bit depending on what city i’m in.

oh, and also a shitty southern american accent.

44. Do you have a strong accent?

if i let it shine through, yes, but i tend toward world english because anything else scares finns. but when i speak finnish (which is most of the time) i don’t really have an accent. maybe you can hear that i’m not 100% finnish but that’s about it.

45. What is your favorite accent?

i don’t really have one ! all accents are really fascinating.

46. What is your personality type?

entj-a

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

i have a few expensive dresses, and then of course my riding clothes which cost ridiculous amounts of money because fuck everyone who likes horses, i guess. like excuse me but why is it normalised that you pay over 1000€ for a helmet??? anything less and you’re a peasant.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

mmmmyeah.

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie!

50. Left or right handed?

pretty much ambidextrous, though i prefer to write with my left but do everything else mostly with my right. my handwriting doesn’t differ too much from left to write.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

yes. ew. and we’re lucky to only have tiny ones in finland !

52. Favorite food?

ummmmm. currently carelian pie maybe?? idk such a good snack.

53. Favorite foreign food?

squints??? sushi????

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

depends. often too lazy to clean but incredibly stressed and uncomfortable when its messy. meticulous about all the wrong things.

55. Most used phrase?

either some form of keysmash or “FUCK”. also in finnish either “voi jumalauta” or “voi saatana” which both basically translate to “jesus fucking christ”.

56. Most used word?

also fuck. this really must say something about me smdh.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

really depends. sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes two hours. on a normal day w/ shower and moderate make up, 15-25 minutes.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

depends really. i hope i don’t!

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

whomst the FUCK bites lollipops ?!?!?!

60. Do you talk to yourself?

i’ve only recently started. it’s terrifying.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

when driving if i’m listening to music, yeah

62. Are you a good singer?

honestly, no clue. i don’t really sing in front of people so i haven’t gotten opinions.

63. Biggest Fear?

failure.

64. Are you a gossip?

not about my friends, ever. but i will definitely listen to any tea you want to spill.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk does kingsman count as dramatic?? the first one was hilarious.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

both have their perks!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

LMAO i can name like 3 if i really try.

68. Favorite school subject?

history, english lang & lit, economics.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

extrovert but i get tired easily

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

yes ! we go to the maldives once in a while, because finland doesn’t offer much in terms of diving sites.

71. What makes you nervous?

not a lot of things? i guess some responsibilities. things left for me to do even if someone else was supposed to do them.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

a dark room ? no. a dark forest at midnight ? hell yess. finnish winter darkness is terrifying simply because its so depressing. seasonal depression is real yall.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends. if it’s a trivial mistake and they haven’t asked to be corrected, no. if it makes me or someone else feel bad or just makes any situation worse, then yes. but never unkindly.

74. Are you ticklish?

YES. ugh

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

no. i can’t recall doing so, at least. but i have participated in spreading them.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

yes. at work a couple of times simply out of necessity and also when i took part in MEP. was committee president twice and president of the general assembly once. though idk if that counts since i was like 17 and its all p much play pretend.

oh! and also when i captain our boat. but again, idk if that counts.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeah, ever since i was like 16 :/

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no, and never will. not my thing !!

79. Who was your first real crush?

probably a boy from class. i can’t remember, really. i’ve never been too ‘romantically inclined’ i suppose.

80. How many piercings do you have?

just my ears, once.

81. Can you roll your Rs?

almost every r in the finnish language is technically rolled so yeah. i feel bad for those finnish people who cant !! makes everything so hard.

82. How fast can you type?

according to this thing 75 words per minute on my first try, so idk how accurate that is.

83. How fast can you run?

not fast. i hate running, and am very out of practice.

84. What color is your hair?

idk ? like, light brown ?

85. What color are your eyes?

again, idk. blue/green/grey

86. What are you allergic to?

dogs, cats, birch, and almost anything that flowers in the spring jshbdsjh

87. Do you keep a journal?

not a journal per se but i have a ‘little black book’ which i keep rather meticulously about my thoughts on the day, important things i need to remember, my expenses etc. a habit inherited from my dad. i’ve gone through like six of these in the past few years.

88. What do your parents do?

my mum is a mayor and my dad is a ceo

89. Do you like your age?

yeah !

90. What makes you angry?

injustice.

91. Do you like your own name?

yes !

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

ksjdsjhb no. at this rate i’d end up naming a child crowley or sum shit

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i don’t want kids but if i did gender would be a non issue

94. What are you strengths?

lmao i have good people skills, work well under pressure, get along with everyone, am determined and ?? a good leader??? idk

95. What are your weaknesses?

i take on too much responsibility, i have anxiety and depression, i get frustrated at my own failures, i’m very self-critical and unforgiving. also no self-control when it comes to rp.

96. How did you get your name?

i think somewhere from my dad’s side, not entirely sure.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

possibly? not sure. but fun fact! a great great grandmother (? or something of the sorts) from my mother’s side actually survived the sinking of the titanic.

98. Do you have any scars?

wasn’t this asked already?

99. Color of your bedspread?

this blue mandala like pattern idk

100. Color of your room?

white and a very mellow blue

#ICB I JUST FUCKING DID THIS #◜ / · ❛ 𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖑 ◞ ooc.

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confrontingbabble-on · 7 years ago

Text

How can you say you support the bible?...Have you even read the bible right through...?!?

Just to get you started, here are a few bible problems...created because bible compilers jumbled together every conflicting primitive notion about an unprovable god...they could find... The bible is simply...a book of babble...that has created worldwide chaos...and a deluge of sectarian confusion... God is satisfied with his works, Gen 1:31, God is dissatisfied with his works. Gen 6:6

God dwells in chosen temples, 2 Chron 7:12,16, God dwells not in temples, Acts 7:48

God dwells in light, Tim 6:16 God dwells in darkness, 1-Kings 8:12/ Ps 18:11/ Ps 97:2

God is seen and heard, Ex 33:23/ Ex 33:11/ Gen 3:9,10/ Gen 32:30/ Is 6:1/Ex 24:9-11, God is invisible and cannot be heard, John 1:18/ John 5:37/ Ex 33:20/ 1 Tim 6:16

God is tired and rests, Ex 31:17/ Jer 15:6, God is never tired and never rests, Is 40:28

God is everywhere present, sees and knows all things, Prov 15:3/ Ps 139:7-10/ Job 34:22,21, God is not everywhere present, neither sees nor knows all things, Gen 11:5/ Gen 18:20,21/ Gen 3:8

God knows the hearts of men, Acts 1:24/ Ps 139:2,3 God tries men to find out what is in their heart, Deut 13:3/ Deut 8:2/ Gen 22:12

God is all powerful, Jer 32:27/ Matt 19:26, God is not all powerful, Judg 1:19

God is unchangeable, James 1:17/ Mal 3:6/ Ezek 24:14/ Num 23:19, God is changeable, Gen 6:6/ Jonah 3:10/ 1 Sam 2:30,31/ 2 Kings 20:1,4,5,6/ Ex 33:1,3,17,14

God is just and impartial, Ps 92:15/ Gen 18:25/ Deut 32:4/ Rom 2:11/ Ezek 18:25 God is unjust and partial, Gen 9:25/ Ex 20:5/ Rom 9:11-13/ Matt 13:12

God is the author of evil, Lam 3:38/ Jer 18:11/ Is 45:7/ Amos 3:6/ Ezek 20:25, God is not the author of evil, 1 Cor 14:33/ Deut 32:4/ James 1:13

God gives freely to those who ask, James 1:5/ Luke 11:10, God withholds his blessings and prevents men from receiving them, John 12:40/ Josh 11:20/ Is 63:17

God is to be found by those who seek him, Matt 7:8/ Prov 8:17 God is not to be found by those who seek him, Prov 1:28

God is warlike, Ex 15:3/ Is 51:15 God is peaceful, Rom 15:33/ 1 Cor 14:33

God is cruel, unmerciful, destructive, and ferocious, Jer 13:14/ Deut 7:16/ 1 Sam 15:2,3/ 1 Sam 6:19, God is kind, merciful, and good, James 5:11/ Lam 3:33/ 1 Chron 16:34/ Ezek 18:32/ Ps 145:9/ 1 Tim 2:4/ 1 John 4:16/ Ps 25:8

God's anger is fierce and endures long, Num 32:13/ Num 25:4/ Jer 17:4 God's anger is slow and endures but for a minute, Ps 103:8/ Ps 30:5

God commands, approves of, and delights in burnt offerings, sacrifices ,and holy days, Ex 29:36/ Lev 23:27/ Ex 29:18/ Lev 1:9 God disapproves of and has no pleasure in burnt offerings, sacrifices, and holy days, Jer 7:22/ Jer 6:20/ Ps 50:13,4/ Is 1:13,11,12

God accepts human sacrifices, 2 Sam 21:8,9,14/ Gen 22:2/ Judg 11:30-32,34,38,39 God forbids human sacrifice, Deut 12:30,31

God tempts men, Gen 22:1/ 2 Sam 24:1/ Jer 20:7/ Matt 6:13 God tempts no man, James 1:13

God cannot lie, Heb 6:18 God lies by proxy; he sends forth lying spirits to deceive, 2 Thes 2:11/ 1 Kings 22:23/ Ezek 14:9

Because of man's wickedness, God destroys him, Gen 6:5,7 Because of man's wickedness, God will not destroy him, Gen 8:21

God's attributes are revealed in his works, Rom 1:20 God's attributes cannot be discovered, Job 11:7/ Is 40:28

There is but one God, Deut 6:4 There is a plurality of gods, Gen 1:26/ Gen 3:22/ Gen 18:1-3/ 1 John 5:7Moral Precepts

Robbery commanded, Ex 3:21,22/ Ex 12:35,36, Robbery forbidden, Lev 19:13/ Ex 20:15

Lying approved and sanctioned, Josh 2:4-6/ James 2:25/ Ex 1:18-20/ 1 Kings 22:21,22, Lying forbidden, Ex 20:16/ Prov 12:22/ Rev 21:8

Hatred to the Edomite sanctioned, 2 Kings 14:7,3 Hatred to the Edomite forbidden, Deut 23:7

Killing commandedEx 32:27 Killing forbidden, Ex 20:13

The blood-shedder must die, Gen 9:5,6 The blood-shedder must not die, Gen 4:15

The making of images forbidden, Ex 20:4 The making of images commanded, Ex 25:18,20

Slavery and oppression ordained, Gen 9:25/ Lev 25:45,46/ Joel 3:8 Slavery and oppression forbidden, Is 58:6/ Ex 22:21/ Ex 21:16/ Matt 23:10

Improvidence enjoyed, Matt 6:28,31,34/ Luke 6:30,35/ Luke 12:3 Improvidence condemned, 1 Tim 5:8/ Prov 13:22

Anger approved, Eph 4:26 Anger disapproved, Eccl 7:9/ Prov 22:24/ James 1:20

Good works to be seen of men, Matt 5:16 Good works not to be seen of men, Matt 6:1

Judging of others forbidden, Matt 7:1,2 Judging of others approved, 1 Cor 6:2-4/ 1 Cor 5:12

Christ taught non-resistance, Matt 5:39/ Matt 26:52 Christ taught and practiced physical resistance, Luke 22:36/ John 2:15

Christ warned his followers not to fear being killed, Luke 12:4 Christ himself avoided the Jews for fear of being killed, John 7:1

Public prayer sanctioned, 1 Kings 8:22,54, 9:3 Public prayer disapproved, Matt 6:5,6

Importunity in prayer commended, Luke 18:5,7 Importunity in prayer condemned, Matt 6:7,8

The wearing of long hair by men sanctioned, Judg 13:5/ Num 6:5 The wearing of long hair by men condemned, 1 Cor 11:14

Circumcision instituted, Gen 17:10 Circumcision condemned, Gal 5:2

The Sabbath instituted, Ex 20:8 The Sabbath repudiated, Is 1:13/ Rom 14:5/ Col 2:16

The Sabbath instituted because God rested on the seventh day, Ex 20:11 The Sabbath instituted because God brought the Israelites out of Egypt, Deut 5:15

No work to be done on the Sabbath under penalty of death, Ex 31:15/ Num 15:32,36 Jesus Christ broke the Sabbath and justified his disciples in the same, John 5:16/ Matt 12:1-3,5

Baptism commanded, Matt 28:19 Baptism not commanded, 1 Cor 1:17,14

Every kind of animal allowed for food, Gen 9:3/ 1 Cor 10:25/ Rom 14:14 Certain kinds of animals prohibited for food, Deut 14:7,8

Taking of oaths sanctioned, Num 30:2/ Gen 21:23-24,31/ Gen 31:53/ Heb 6:13 Taking of oaths forbidden, Matt 5:34

Marriage approved, Gen 2:18/ Gen 1:28/ Matt 19:5/ Heb 13:4 Marriage disapproved, 1 Cor 7:1/ 1 Cor 7:7,8

Freedom of divorce permitted, Deut 24:1/ Deut 21:10,11,14 Divorce restricted, Matt 5:32

Adultery forbidden, Ex 20:14/ Heb 13:4 Adultery allowed, Num 31:18/ Hos 1:2; 2:1-3

Marriage or cohabitation with a sister denounced, Deut 27:22/ Lev 20:17 Abraham married his sister and God blessed the union, Gen 20:11,12/ Gen 17:16

A man may marry his brother's widow, Deut 25:5 A man may not marry his brother's widow, Lev 20:21

Hatred to kindred enjoined, Luke 14:26 Hatred to kindred condemned, Eph 6:2/ Eph 5:25,29

Intoxicating beverages recommended, Prov 31:6,7/ 1 Tim 5:23/ Ps 104:15 Intoxicating beverages discountenanced, Prov 20:1/ Prov 23:31,32

It is our duty to obey our rulers, who are God's ministers and punish evil doers only, Rom 13:1-3,6 It is not our duty to obey rulers, who sometimes punish the good and receive unto themselves damnation therefore, Ex 1:17,20/ Dan 3:16,18/ Dan 6:9,7,10/ Acts 4:26,27/ Mark 12:38,39,40/ Luke 23:11,24,33,35

Women's rights denied, Gen 3:16/ 1 Tim 2:12/ 1 Cor 14:34/ 1 Pet 3:6 Women's rights affirmed, Judg 4:4,14,15/ Judg 5:7/ Acts 2:18/ Acts 21:9

Obedience to masters enjoined, Col 3:22,23/ 1 Pet 2:18 Obedience due to God only, Matt 4:10/ 1 Cor 7:23/ Matt 23:10

There is an unpardonable sin, Mark 3:29 There is not unpardonable sin, Acts 13:39,

Man was created after the other animals, Gen 1:25,26,27 Man was created before the other animals, Gen 2:18,19

Seed time and harvest were never to cease, Gen 8:22 Seed time and harvest did cease for seven years, Gen 41:54,56/ Gen 45:6

God hardened Pharaoh's heart, Ex 4:21/ Ed 9:12 Pharaoh hardened his own heart, Ex 8:15

All the cattle and horses in Egypt died, Ex 9:3,6/ 14:9 All the horses of Egypt did not die, Ex 14:9

Moses feared Pharaoh, Ex 2:14,15,23; 4:19 Moses did not fear Pharaoh, Heb 11:27

There died of the plague twenty-four thousand, Num 25:9 There died of the plague, but twenty-three thousand, 1 Cor 10:8

John the Baptist was Elias, Matt 11:14 John the Baptist was not Elias, John 1:21

The father of Joseph, Mary's husband was Jacob, Matt 1:16 The father of Mary's husband was Heli, Luke 3:23

The father of Salah was Arphaxad, Gen 11:12 The father of Salah was Cainan, Luke 3:35,36

There were fourteen generations from Abraham to David, Matt 1:17 There were but thirteen generations from Abraham to David, Matt 1:2-6

There were fourteen generations from the Babylonian captivity to Christ, Matt 1:17 There were but thirteen generations from the Babylonian captivity to Christ, Matt 1:12-16

The infant Christ was taken into Egypt, Matt 2:14,15,19,21,23 The infant Christ was not taken into Egypt, Luke 2:22, 39

Christ was tempted in the wilderness, Mark 1:12,13 Christ was not tempted in the wilderness, John 2:1,2

Christ preached his first sermon on the mount, Matt 5:1,2 Christ preached his first sermon on the plain, Luke 6:17,20

John was in prison when Jesus went into Galilee, Mark 1:14 John was not in prison when Jesus went into Galilee, John 1:43/ John 3:22-24

Christ's disciples were commanded to go forth with a staff and sandals, Mark 6:8,9 Christ's disciples were commanded to go forth with neitherstaffs nor sandals, Matt 10:9,10

A woman of Canaan besought Jesus, Matt 15:22 It was a Greek woman who besought Him, Mark 7:26

Two blind men besought Jesus, Matt 20:30 Only one blind man besought Him, Luke 18:35,38

Christ was crucified at the third hour, Mark 15:25 Christ was not crucified until the sixth hour, John 19:14,15

The two thieves reviled Christ, Matt 27:44/ Mark 15:32 Only one of the thieves reviled Christ, Luke 23:39,40

Satan entered into Judas while at supper, John 13:27 Satan entered into him before the supper, Luke 22:3,4,7

Judas committed suicide by hanging, Matt 27:5 Judas did not hang himself, but died another way, Acts 1:18

The potter's field was purchased by Judas, Acts 1:18 The potter's field was purchased by the Chief Priests, Matt 27:6,7

There was but one woman who came to the sepulchre, John 20:1 There were two women who came to the sepulchre, Matt 28:1

There were three women who came to the sepulchre, Mark 16:1 There were more than three women who came to the sepulchre, Luke 24:10

It was at sunrise when they came to the sepulchre, Mark 16:2 It was some time before sunrise when they came, John 20:1

There were two angels seen by the women at the sepulchre, and they were standing up, Luke 24:4 There was but one angel seen, and he was sitting down, Matt 28:2,5

There were two angels seen within the sepulchre, John 20:11,12 There was but one angel seen within the sepulchre, Mark 16:5

Christ was to be three days and three nights in the grave, Matt 12:40 Christ was but two days and two nights in the grave, Mark 15:25,42,44,45,46; 16:9>

Holy ghost bestowed at pentecost, Acts 1:8,5 Holy ghost bestowed before pentecost, John 20:22

The disciples were commanded immediately after the resurrection to go into Galilee, Matt 28:10 The disciples were commanded immediately after the resurrection to go tarry at Jerusalem, Luke 24:49

Jesus first appeared to the eleven disciples in a room at Jerusalem, Luke 24:33,36,37/ John 20:19 Jesus first appeared to the eleven on a mountain in Galilee, Matt 28:16,17

Christ ascended from Mount Olivet, Acts 1:9,12 Christ ascended from Bethany,Luke 24:50,51

Paul's attendants heard the miraculous voice, and stood speechless, Acts 9:7 Paul's attendants heard not the voice and were prostrate, Acts 26:14

Abraham departed to go into Canaan, Gen 12:5 Abraham went not knowing where, Heb 11:8

Abraham had two sons, Gal 4:22 Abraham had but one son, Heb 11:17

Keturah was Abraham's wife, Gen 25:1 Keturah was Abraham's concubine, 1 Chron 1:32

Abraham begat a son when he was a hundred years old, by the interposition of Providence, Gen 21:2/ Rom 4:19/ Heb 11:12 Abraham begat six children more after he was a hundred years old without any interposition of providence, Gen 25:1,2

Jacob bought a sepulchre from Hamor, Josh 24:32 Abraham bought it of Hamor, Acts 7:16

God promised the land of Canaan to Abraham and his seed forever, Gen 13:14,15,17; 17:8 Abraham and his seed never received the promised land, Acts 7:5/ Heb 11:9,13

Goliath was slain by Elhanan, 2 Sam 21:19 *note, was changed in translation to be correct. Original manuscript was incorrect>The brother of Goliath was slain by Elhanan1 Chron 20:5

Ahaziah began to reign in the twelfth year of Joram, 2 Kings 8:25 Ahaziah began to reign in the eleventh year of Joram, 2 Kings 9:29

Michal had no child, 2 Sam 6:23 Michal had five children, 2 Sam 21:8

David was tempted by the Lord to number Israel, 2 Sam 24:1 David was tempted by Satan to number the people, 1 Chron 21:1

The number of fighting men of Israel was 800,000; and of Judah 500,0002 Sam 24:9 The number of fighting men of Israel was 1,100,000; and of Judah 470,0001 Chron 21:5

David sinned in numbering the people, 2 Sam 24:10 David never sinned, except in the matter of Uriah, 1 Kings 15:5

One of the penalties of David's sin was seven years of famine, 2 Sam 24:13 It was not seven years, but three years of famine, 1 Chron 21:11,12

David took seven hundred horsemen, 2 Sam 8:4 David took seven thousand horsemen, 1 Chron 18:4

David bought a threshing floor for fifty shekels of silver, 2 Sam 24:24 David bought the threshing floor for six hundred shekels of gold, 1 Chron 21:25

David's throne was to endure forever, Ps 89:35-37 David's throne was cast down, Ps 89:44 Speculative Doctrines

Christ is equal with God, John 10:30/ Phil 2:5 Christ is not equal with God, John 14:28/ Matt 24:36

Jesus was all-powerful, Matt 28:18/ John 3:35 Jesus was not all-powerful, Mark 6:5

The law was superseded by the Christian dispensation, Luke 16:16/ Eph 2:15/ Rom 7:6 The law was not superseded by the Christian dispensation, Matt 5:17-19

Christ's mission was peace, Luke 2:13,14 Christ's mission was not peace, Matt 10:34

Christ received not testimony from man, John 5:33,34 Christ did receive testimony from man, John 15:27

Christ's witness of himself is true, John 8:18,14 Christ's witness of himself is not true, John 5:31

Christ laid down his life for his friends, John 15:13/ John 10:11 Christ laid down his life for his enemies, Rom 5:10

It was lawful for the Jews to put Christ to death, John 19:7 It was not lawful for the Jews to put Christ to death, John 18:31

Children are punished for the sins of the parents, Ex 20:5 Children are not punished for the sins of the parents, Ezek 18:20

Man is justified by faith alone, Rom 3:20/ Gal 2:16/ Gal 3:11,12/ Rom 4:2 Man is not justified by faith alone, James 2:21,24/ Rom 2:13

It is impossible to fall from grace, John 10:28/ Rom 8:38,39 It is possible to fall from grace, Ezek 18:24/ Heb 6:4-6, 2 Pet 2:20,21

No man is without sin, 1 Kings 8:46/ Prov 20:9/ Eccl 7:20/ Rom 3:10 Christians are sinless, 1 John 3: 9,6,8

There is to be a resurrection of the dead, 1 Cor 15:52/ Rev 20:12,13/ Luke 20:37/ 1 Cor 15:16 There is to be no resurrection of the dead, Job 7:9/ Eccl 9:5/ Is 26:14

Reward and punishment to be bestowed in this world, Prov 11:31 Reward and punishment to be bestowed in the next world, Rev 20:12/ Matt 16:27/ 2 Cor 5:10

Annihilation the portion of all mankind, Job 3: 11,13-17,19-22/ Eccl 9:5,10/ Eccl 3:19,20 Endless misery the portion of all mankind, Matt 25:46/ Rev 20:10,15/ Rev 14:11/ Dan 12:2

The Earth is to be destroyed, 2 Pet 3:10/ Heb 1:11/ Rev 20:11 The Earth is never to be destroyed, Ps 104:5/ Eccl 1:4

No evil shall happen to the godly, Prov 12:21/ 1 Pet 3:13 Evil does happen to the godly, Heb 12:6/ Job 2:3,7

Worldly good and prosperity are the lot of the godly, Prov 12:21/ Ps 37:28,32,33,37/ Ps 1:1,3/ Gen 39:2/Job 42:12 Worldly misery and destitution the lot of the godlyHeb 11:37,38/ Rev 7:14/ 2 Tim 3:12/ Luke 21:17

Worldly prosperity a reward of righteousness and a blessing, Mark 10:29,30/ Ps 37:25/ Ps 112:1,3/ Job 22:23,24/Prov 15:6 Worldly prosperity a curse and a bar to future reward, Luke 6:20,24/ Matt 6:19,21/ Luke 16:22/ Matt 19:24/Luke 6:24

The Christian yoke is easy, Matt 11:28,29,30 The Christian yoke is not easy, John 16:33/ 2 Tim 3:12/ Heb 12:6,8

The fruit of God's spirit is love and gentleness, Gal 5:22 The fruit of God's spirit is vengeance and fury, Judg 15:14/ 1 Sam 18:10,11

Longevity enjoyed by the wicked, Job 21:7,8/ Ps 17:14/ Eccl 8:12/ Is 65:20 Longevity denied to the wicked, Eccl 8:13/ Ps 55:23/ Prov 10:27/ Job 36:14/ Eccl 7:17

Poverty a blessing, Luke 6:20,24/ Jams 2:5 Riches a blessingProv 10:15/ Job 22:23,24/ Job 42:12 Neither poverty nor riches a blessingProv 30:8,9

Wisdom a source of enjoyment, Prov 3:13,17 Wisdom a source of vexation, grief and sorrow, Eccl 1:17,18

A good name is a blessing, Eccl 7:1/ Prov 22:1 A good name is a curse, Luke 6:26

Laughter commended, Eccl 3:1,4/ Eccl 8:15 Laughter condemned, Luke 6:25/ Eccl 7:3,4

The rod of correction a remedy for foolishness, Prov 22:15 There is no remedy for foolishness, Prov 27:22

A fool should be answered according to his folly, Prov 26:5 A fool should not be answered according to his folly, Prov 26:4

Temptation to be desired, James 1:2 Temptation not to be desired, Matt 6:13

Prophecy is sure, 2 Pet 1:19 Prophecy is not sure, Jer 18:7-10

Man's life was to be one hundred and twenty years, Gen 6:3/ Ps 90:10 Man's life is but seventy years, Ps 90:10 Gen. 9:28 Noah lived to 950 years

The fear of man was to be upon every beast, Gen 9:2 The fear of man is not upon the lion, Prov 30:30

Miracles a proof of divine mission, Matt 11:2-5/ John 3:2/ Ex 14:31 Miracles not a proof of divine mission, Ex 7:10-12/ Deut 13:1-3/ Luke 11:19

Moses was a very meek man, Num 12:3Moses was a very cruel manNum 31:15,17

Elijah went up to heaven, 2 Kings 2:11 None but Christ ever ascended into heaven, John 3:13

All scripture is inspired, 2 Tim 3:16 Some scripture is not inspired, 1 Cor 7:6/ 1 Cor 7:12/ 2 Cor 11:17

Jesus prays to himself, his father which is also him, too?? Jesus and god are supposed to be one and the same, yet he asked on the cross, "My God, My God, Why Has Thou Forsaken Me?1. God being the creator of all things, created Satan and evil, Isaiah 45:7.2. It repented the Lord that he created a man and a woman. Gen. ch. 6 Vs: 6 So this statement shows that God himself made a great mistake. Although, it is not written that it repented God to have made Satan and allowed evil to exist in the first place.3. God rested on the 7th day of creation, damn good thing too, what else was he about to screw up?4. The all knowing God had to ask Adam and Eve where were they, when he was looking for them.5. The 3rd or 4th person to arrive was a murderer, Cain slew Abel and the all knowing God had to ask Cain where was his brother?If I were a god, I would have made sure that Adam and Eve conceived a male and a female to start the multiplication process to begin with instead of two rival brothers, perhaps Abel was gay? Yes/No?6. All people were so wicked that God had to destroy them, but why did God not offer them a plan of salvation, since Jesus was ready and willing to die for everyone's sins? And God already knew that Jesus was going to be born of a virgin some day, right? Oh I know, there were no virgins available at that time....ha ha ha7. Now after thousands of years, God's brain kicks into gear and he's thinking up a plan, a way for peoples sins to be forgiven, because we know that God hates sin, Did I say the God of love, hates?...yikes, God hates sin, but yet he created it and allows it to exist.8. Now Mary wanted a baby and has a visitation by an angel, a messenger from God....but not God??....no no, a messenger from God, and the angel impregnates Mary or was it God, or the messenger?9. After Jesus arrives we have spirits souls, miracles, etc. All this sounds contrived doesn't it? Sounds man made doesn't it?10. It's very important to God that Jesus be beaten, flogged, spit on, dragged, cursed, persecuted, so that mans sins may be forgiven. Of course, God could have just eliminated all sin to begin with, but we would not have such a bizarre story to deceive people into believing would we?11. God being Jesus in disguise as his only begotten son, calls out to God (himself) Matt. 27, 46 In the ninth hour Jesus called out My God, My God, Why has thou forsaken me? And God waits until the third day to receive himself?

If one man was beaten and dragged through the streets and can save souls, imagine what six million of God's (chosen people) tortured to death Jews can do, let's see...absolutely NOTHING!!!

TWO contrary Genesis versions suggests at least two writers, both ignorant or unmindful of each other, and ignorant of the facts of nature and astronomy, not to mention the age of the earth. Let any secular writer pen a book with so many contradictions (more of which will follow), on science, geology, morals or anything, and the world would plunge, as a vulture on carrion, to heap monumental scorn over the work. As "history," the Bible is unique. In First Kings 16:6,8 the king of Israel, Baasha, dies, replaced by his son Elah during the 26th year of Asa's (King of Judah) reign. But in Second Chronicles l6:1 we read that Baasha, king of Israel, goes against Judah during Asa's 36th year. A King dies, is buried, his son becomes King, but after a decade, the dead king leads a military adventure! In truthful historical chronicles, dead kings stay dead, but in the Bible when a king dies, he's merely planning to pick a fight! In Genesis 9:3: "Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat" for Noah. But Deuteronomy (14:7-21) later gives a list of animals, birds and fish that must not be eaten. Circumcision is required (Gen.17:10), and useless (Gal. 5:2). Abraham had two sons, Ishmael and Isaac (Gen.16:15 & 21:3) but Isaac was Abraham's "only" son? (Gen. 22:2,12 & Heb. 11:17). In Exodus 33:20, says God, "Thou canst not see my face; for there shall be no man see me and live." God must have been mistaken, or changed: For in Genesis 32:30 Jacob sees God "face to face" and lives. The same for Moses, Aaron, Nadab, Abihu and 70 elders, who saw God, and ate and drank with him (Exodus 24:9-11). But not so, says John 1:18: "No man hath seen God at any time." How decide? Well, I agree with John. God dwells "in the light which no man can approach" (1 Tim. 6:l6). But this is not true, as in First Kings 8:12 it says: "The Lord said that he would dwell in the thick darkness." Would literalists say I shouldn't be so "literal"? Is the "light" in which Jesus dwells "en(light)enment?" Does God remain in thick darkness but keeps this "light" of enlightenment? But aren't we opening a Pandora's box of endless "interpretation" here? Where do we draw the line if we do that? When the cry (Josh.10:12-13) "Sun, stand thou still" (and moon too) was uttered and carried out, the sun "stood still" in the sky, not setting. But of course, as we all now know about astronomy, a 'setting sun' is an inaccurate archaic and figurative phrase reflecting only the illusion of a moving sun. It's created by the actual motion of a rotating earth around its own axis. In the solar system, the sun is, of course, already "still" (while the moon isn't). But, I guess God knew what Joshua "meant," and instead of quibbling over astronomical facts, He allowed the Bible writings to describe it inaccurately (using the primitive terminology of the knowledge of the time). So God magically stilled both the earth and moon (and did it without cataclysmically throwing our land and continents off into space). But then, there's that "interpretation" thing again, because the "word of God" definitely does say the sun "stood still" (implying incorrectly that it had been in motion) and not that it "appeared" to, or that the "Earth stood still." Is the Bible literal or figurative? (See also Eccl. 1:5, about "the Sun also riseth...." and Chron 16:30; Psalms 93:1 [Earth is already immovable]) . MATTHEW quotes Jesus (19:26), "with God all things are possible." Did Matthew or Jesus forget something? In the Book of Judges (1:19) God is not almighty, as he helped rid Judah of inhabitants of the mountain, but could not drive out those in the valley "because they had chariots of iron." This God of miracles apparently can move the largest body in the solar system, the Sun (or at least stop planet earth), in order to prolong daylight for Joshua's military revenge (or to move the sun's shadow 10 degrees backward [2 Kings 20:10-11 or Isaiah 38:7- 8]). Yet this same mover of heavens is cowed by mere horses & buggies made of iron? I wonder what would happen if God decided to attack a "modern" 1950 Buick? Exodus 31:I7: Like a man, God rests and can be "refreshed." Isaiah scorns such contemptible weakness. In 40:28 he insists God, creator of the "ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary." An infinite God cannot tire, nor needs to be - nor can be -- "refreshed." Again on astronomy, the spectre of "interpretation" rises, asking us: 'what are these "ends" of the earth' quoted above? A spherical planet has no "ends." Even a flat plate or the line of a circle is "endless." The phrase "ends of the earth" then, was not figurative: We know the common belief then was that earth, very literally, did have "ends." Nowhere in the Bible is the earth described as "spherical." (See also Rev. 7:1: "...four angels standing on the four corners of the earth" & Daniel 4:10-11. Daniel's words here make little sense for a spherical earth)

GOD does not change. James 1:17 says God has "no variableness..." but then, in Jonah 3:10, God "repented" and changed his mind about smiting Nineveh's people. So what are we to think of assurances given in Numbers 23:19, which states, "God is not a man...neither the son of man, that he should repent." Yet this tireless omnipotent God himself volunteers the striking thought in Jeremiah 15:6, "I am weary with repenting." How human that confession sounds by a presumably unchanging God who 'cannot weary' (as Isaiah wrote above), nor repent.

In Deuteronomy 4:24 "God is a consuming fire, but in John 4:1 "God is love." He's "the God of Peace" in Romans 15:33 but in Exodus 15:3, "the Lord is a man of war." (Called a "man" here? Yet not called a man in Numbers 23:19?) God is "just and right" (Deut.32:4) yet in a mercenary manner he advises, in the dietary restrictions, that what you can't eat as unclean may be given "unto the stranger...or thou mayest sell it unto an alien." Gee, has the Better Business Bureau heard of this "just and right" commercial behavior? (Deut.l4:21) God said (Isaiah 45:7) "I make peace and create evil," a contradiction in one holy breath!! (And we all thought, of our own evil, it was 'the devil made me do it.') "Now go and smite Amelek and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass" (1 Sam. 15:3). That was Samuel's order for Saul originating from the Lord. Wrote one Bible commentator, M. J. Gauvin: "Slay the old man with trembling hands and silvered hair; murder the mother who shields with her body the life of her child; rifle the cradle, and plunge the glittering sword of death through the frail form of the smiling babe ...and know, ye fiends of ruthless slaughter, ye but fulfil the command of the God whose 'mercy endureth forever'!" "Love thy neighbor as thyself?" (Lev.l9:l8). Mass murder is again condoned in Exodus 32:27; in Deut. 2:15-16 and 34-36 and 3:2. No "just and right" God of true peace or love could command a massacre of innocents. These are the writings and contradictions in a religious human-inspired literature coming from the biases and values of an uncivilized warrior peoples. To call this the "inspired words" of a merciful, worthy Deity should be a base insult to even the meanest intelligence.

Sacrifices of helpless animals, even human sacrifices, such as of Isaac, offered by Abraham (but stopped), or of Jeptha's daughter, or the seven sons of David, are plentiful in the Bible, and are acceptable practices ordained by the Lord. See also Leviticus 27:28-29 about how humans, lands and beasts can be sacrificed. Yet elsewhere God condemns it as an abomination and is "weary to bear them." (Jer.7:22 & Is.1:11-16) Speaking of abominations, there is the mere handling of pigskin (Lev.ll:7-8). Woe unto football players! And woe unto those who curse their parents, for such deserve death (Lev.20:9). Yet they are enjoined to also hate mom and dad too, in order to become disciples (Luke 14:26). Resurrections? Job 7:9 says who "goeth down to the grave shall come up no more." The Old Testament denies immortality in no uncertain terms. The New Testament proclaims it - but as an eternal agony for most of you. All these contradictions make biblical words appear as if they are a departure from sanity - if they were the words of one consistent, unchanging being.

You'll read that children will suffer for the sins of the parents, yet elsewhere, read that no one will bear sins other than their own (Ex.20:5 vs Ezek.l8:20). The Sabbath is required to be kept as holy, but -- each of us can make up our own minds (Ex.20:8 vs Rom.l4:5) "Judge not, that ye be not judged' (Matt.7:l), yet others must be judged? (1Cor. 6:2-4). There's but one allowed reason (adultery) to divorce your wife, but elsewhere, divorce can be for any reason (Matt.5:32 vs Deut.2l:l4 & 24:1-3). Note, in this Deuteronomy a divorced woman can safely and sinlessly marry again, but in Matthew, a divorced woman that remarries is guilty of adultery, which deserves death of both her and her new husband (Lev.20:10). Neat sense of fairness, eh? If Eve was created merely from Adam's rib, it's no wonder that women are valued less than men, as in Leviticus 27:3-7, where a man's value in shekels is double that of a woman. Or: "neither was man created for woman but woman for man" (lCor. 11:8-9). This "Just and right" God in Exodus 21:20-21 approves a further double standard: Whereas adultery or just hitting your parents deserves death (Ex.2l:l5), a master beating a servant or maid to death with a rod shall only "be punished" in some non- lethal manner.

In Exodus 21:2I, the master can remain unpunished for beating servants daily because the servant "is his money." Similarly, throughout this chapter, is the sale and possession of human beings condoned (21:4,7). 'The Boss don't like no back-talk' is clear in Exodus 21:5-6: If a servant doesn't want to be sent away from his family (owned by the master) but says he loves them and will not leave, master can "bring him unto the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him forever." "Just and right"? One believer wrote me the Old Testament's inspired words were meant to "mitigate or regulate" behavior and raise it to a "more humane level" than usually practiced. Gimme a break! If the Old testament isn't "static or forever," as he wrote, why doesn't he also take the stories of Genesis as equally not final nor literal factual truth? Why one and not the other? Not only is slavery in the Old Testament, but in the New Testament, too: First Timothy 6:1,8 states those "under the yoke" (i.e. slaves) shall give "all honour" to their masters, and suggests in its context we should be grateful for scraps and rags without critique nor envy. Again in Ephesians 6:5, obedience to masters by servants is urged to be just like obedient worship given Christ. Worship the Boss?

However, this backward morality (which is excused as too entrenched in those times for even God to overthrow completely, God preferring to moderate it instead), was not too hard for a mere mortal, Spartacus, to challenge totally. How can a non-god espouse more advanced ideals of freedom, and oppose slavery completely, when the God of all the universe could only weakly compromise those principles among his subjects? "No evil shall happen to the just" we're told (Prov.l2:21). Yet Job, about whom God said no one else on earth was nearly as good and upright, is nevertheless handed over, by God, to Satan for torture (Job 2:3-7). The fate, also in the modern world, of good Christians and innocents under the protection of God's proverb, is horrendous. Moses is the meekest man in the world (Num.l2:3), yet he orders the butchery of women and children in cold blood and the taking of female children, who are still virgins, to keep alive "for yourselves" under the permission of God (Num.31:17)

The Bible speaks well of liquor and also condemns it (Deut. 14:226 vs Prov.20:l). It says avoid temptation, but welcome it too (Matt.6:l3 vs James 1:12). The same dichromatics appear for wealth as First Timothy preaches (6:10) "love of money is the root of all evil," added to by Luke 6:24, but denied by Proverbs 10:15, and elsewhere there. Here's more "perfect harmony" of the Bible's words: According to Luke, Christ ascended in the flesh. Paul says "Flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of heaven" (Luke 24:39-51 vs 1 Cor.15:50). The evening of Christ's resurrection is the time of ascension for Luke, but Acts dates it 40 days after, (Luke 24:1-59 vs Acts 1:3 ). After resurrecting, Jesus was to meet the disciples, says Matthew, in Galilee; but says Luke, it was to be in Jerusalem -- merely 100 miles apart! (Matt.28:l6-17 vs Luke 24:33-36). "I and my Father are One" (John 10:30). But, "My Father is greater than I" (John 14:28) and "My God, why hast thou forsaken me? (Math. 27:46). The contradictions seem as infinite as God. Let your good deeds shine before men "that they may see your good works." So much for modesty. Then Matthew has Jesus say "Take heed that ye do not your alms before men to be seen of them." (Matt. 5:l6 vs 6:1) Many other details of the crucifixion, resurrection and ascension are disparate. This, of course, is normal when it's different human witnesses describing any traumatic event, committing errors such as misquoting, forgetting what was said exactly or reinterpreting meaning through the biased sieve of one's own prejudices. For example: Facing Pilate, Christ spoke only two words, said Matthew. John said Christ gave a speech! (Matt. 27:11 vs John 18:34-37). We are told repeatedly, the marvelous works found in nature, or all the universe, "require" and prove a creator's existence. But in the ultimate logical inconstancy of the Bible, it says nothing about why the greatest marvel of all needs no creator.

If God does not need to be created, what did God do before the universe? Where did God exist? Nowhere in Genesis did God create "time." Why not? Because so ubiquitous is time to us, it's "only human" to lose awareness of such a constant sensation (much as we mask out the sound of an electric fan blowing in our room or the engine's hum when we drive). Thus its need to be created failed to be recorded by human scribes who really couldn't conceive (nor notice) that it even needed to be created. [See Appendix below.] Did God create himself out of nothingness? I am no Bible scholar, but I know this is but surface-scratching the tip of the iceberg about Bible errors and conflicts, and it already proves it a fallible human document of many inaccuracies, failures of logic, with biases and mixed motives shown by petty witnesses and superstitious, ignorant drinking buddies. Maybe they had one too many?

If the Bible is true, then these conditions are real and verifiable outside of the Bible: The universe is only six thousand years old, dinosaurs never existed, the world is flat and the earth is in the center of the universe, the Sun goes around the earth, demons, invisible spirits, ghosts, holy ghosts, demons, angels, snakes, bushes, and donkeys, can talk, virgin birth is possible, god and jesus live in the clouds above, prayer has secret powers over this god, miracles and blessing do occur, invisible souls can either be saved or unsaved, depending on what a person decides to believe in their heart, the heart is the center of all thought and emotion, people can talk to god and jesus with their heart, there is no such thing as a brain, people can be raised from the dead, people can walk on water, water can be turned into wine, 5000 people can easily be fed with two loaves and two fishes, only invisible jesus can save invisible souls, diseases are caused by demons, science is of the devil, a person can live in the belly of a whale for three days and nights, a whales'stomach acid has no effect upon humans.”

https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/872qpm/i_found_this_monster_of_a_youtube_comment_that/

#atheist #agnostic #secular humanist #skeptic #Religion #Christianity #religious insanity #Bible

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heartturnedtoporcelain-blog · 6 years ago

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not tagged by anyone, but inspired after seeing @fancyoats great answers!

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

Last

1. Drink - i put some sugar free fruit cup cordial in my bottle of water. mmm fruit cup cordial

2. Phone call - my mum sigh

3. Text message - my brother

4. Song you listened to - do it again - steely dan

5. Time you cried - hmm idk? oh i know, when i threw a huge fit because i came back from poland at one in the morning to find my parents had gone through all my stuff - *all* my very private stuff - and rearranged my room. jesus christ how many times had i asked for people to not go into my room without my permission and yet they did this. i deserve a modicum of privacy and respect ffs. *this* was when i knew i 10000% had to get out.

Ever

6. Dated someone twice - lol i tried to.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - yup

8. Been cheated on - very unlikely given the circumstances

9. Lost someone special - not someone very close yet, thank god

10. Been depressed - very definitely. multiple times.

11. Gotten drunk and threw up - yeppp

Fave colors

12. coral

13. pink

14. teal

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends - yes

16. Fallen out of love - no

17. Laughed until you cried - no

18. Found out someone was talking about you - yes but not in the last year

19. Met someone who changed you - oh yes definitely. thank you so much @trailerparkofmydreams

20. Found out who your friends are - well not really, in the sense that this is implying

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - not this year

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl - all of them? but then i hate facebook and it makes me anxious so i go on it like twice a year

23. Do you have any pets - not at the moment :( i would really, really like a cat. i miss having a cat so much

24. Do you want to change your name - first name: a++++++ would keep. last name: i would change if anything even slightly better came along.

25. What did you do for your last birthday - went out with my brother and my dad to a really good french-vietnamese restaurant.

26. What time did you wake up today - 6:30

27. What were you doing @ midnight last night - sleeping poorly

28. What is something you can’t wait for - short term: for my stomach acid to be less acid-y so i can enjoy coffee, alcohol, and spicy food again :( - three of the greatest pleasures in life. long term: to be able to work on a paper without anxiety hugely interfering.

30. What are you listening to right now - the news in the background

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - probably?

32. Something that gets on my nerves - when people have personal conversations for more than a couple minutes in a lecture/tutorial. it’s such a dick move. you’re an adult, can’t you wait until the end of class?

33. Most visited website - tumblr and ao3 the university website

34. Hair color - brown with chunks of blonde in it

35. Hair long or short - shoulder length

36. Do you have a crush on someone - other than mads and hugh, not really at the moment (keeps this good answer)

37. What do you like about yourself - i care about others. i have a very, very strong sense of morality.

38. Want any piercings - maybe others in my ears?

39. Blood type - .....i should know this lmao.....

40. Nicknames - poppo, poppet, poppetito

41. Relationship status - single

42. Zodiac - scorpio

43. Pronouns - she/her

44. Fave TV shows - hannibal, cooking/home shows of various kinds, seinfeld, the classic simpsons. i’m not the biggest tv/movie person. 90% of the time i watch news programs

45. Tattoos - none. i have a huge list of ones i want but i just haven’t had the money.....

46. Right or left handed - right

47. Ever had surgery - no

48. piercings - 2 in ears

49. Sports - i used to watch obscene amounts of european football (you wouldn’t believe how much), but the time zone issue here makes it so i don’t watch it anymore :( i watch tons of cricket in the summer here, but since the very shameful cheating scandal by some of my cricketing heroes last summer, i don’t know how much i’ll watch this summer :(

50. Vacations - ***love*** travelling. it causes me anxiety and stress, but i absolutely utterly adore going new places, learning new things

51. Trainers - gold ones that are pretty

More general

52. Eating - **everything**. god i love virtually every cuisine, every type of food.

53. Drinking - coffee, tea, red wine, beer, mojitos.

54. I’m about to - finish a reading

55. Waiting - for me to get my act together and bring my rubbish down to the bins

56. Want - my stomach to settle thanksss

57. Get married - yes i want to....if i manage to find someone.....

58. Career - a historian? pretty please with sugar on top?

Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses - depends.

61. Shorter or taller - taller men, women i don’t care.

63. Nice stomach or stomach - i feel this question is biased. all stomachs are nice stomachs. (keeps this great answer)

64. Hookup or relationship - relationship

65. Troublemaker or hesitant - troublemakers. i adore people - platonically or not so platonically - who are outrageous on some level. pot stirrers <3. but you don’t have to be a troublemaker for me to like you.

Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger - yes

67. Drank hard liquor - yes

68. Lost glasses - no

69. Turned someone down - lol yes

70. Sex on first date - no

71. Broken someone’s heart - maybe? i kind of think so but i’m not sure to what extent.

72. Had your heart broken - kind of

73. Been arrested - no

74. Cried when someone died - yes

75. Fallen for a friend - ‘fallen’ implies falling in love (?) and i’ve never fallen in love. but i definitely have been infatuated with a friend.

Do you believe in

76. Yourself - somewhat. half and half.

77. Miracles - no

78. Love at first sight - i believe in strong feelings at first sight....love idk

79. Santa Claus - lol no

80. Kiss on first date - ofc???? weird question.

81. Angels - no

Other

82. Best friend’s name - casey (yes it’s still you lmao)

83. Eye color - blue

84. Fave movie - um the space movies i’ve talked about before

85. Favorite actor - mads mikkelsen, my love

feel free to do it!!!!

#ask meme #mine

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randyastle · 6 years ago

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Historical reading list

Hello, world. A while ago I made a list of history books to read that would take me chronologically from the Big Bang up to the present. I did it on a Word document and haven’t had time to compile the list on Goodreads, but I wanted to post it here as a stopgap for anyone interested. There’s a penchant towards my own heritage, which comes through the United States and Mormonism, with, for instance, at least one biography on every American President (through Obama). But I tried to be broad because as I read these I want to gain a broad understanding not just of history but of different global cultures today; hence so many titles dealing with religion or mythology in general. There’s a smattering of fiction thrown in there where it fits historically, like The Iliad, Divine Comedy, or Uncle Tom’s Cabin, and I have other reading lists dealing with topics like art, music, religion (outside of history, like books about Buddhism or Joseph Campbell essays), and contemporary work in natural sciences/conservation/mass extinction, so by and large books relating to those things don’t appear here, but I still hope it’s useful. 1. A Brief History of Time, Stephen Hawking

2. The First Three Minutes, Steven Weinberg

3. Lives of the Planets: A Natural History of the Solar System, Richard Corfield

4. From Dust to Life: The Origin and Evolution of Our Solar System, John Chambers & Jacqueline Mitton

5. Plate Tectonics, Stephen M. Tomecek

6. On the Origin of Species, Charles Darwin (1859)

7. The Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins

8. Prehistoric Life: The Definitive Visual History of Life on Earth, Dorling-Kindersley

9. Prehistoric Life: Evolution and the Fossil Record, Lieberman and Kaesler

10. Life: An Unauthorized Biography (newest edition), Richard Fortey

11. The Ends of the World: Volcanic Apocalypses, Lethal Oceans, and our Quest to Understand Earth’s Past Mass Extinctions, Peter Brannen

12. When Life Nearly Died: The Greatest Mass Extinction of All Time, Michael Benton

13. Trilobite!, Richard Fortey

14. Squid Empire: The Rise and Fall of the Cephalopods, Danna Staaf

15. Pterosaurs: Natural History, Evolution, Anatomy, Mark Witton

16. Dinosaurs: A Concise Natural History, David E. Fastovsky & David B. Weishampel

17. The Complete Dinosaur (second edition), M.K. Brett-Surman

18. Tyrannosaurus Rex: The Tyrant King, ed. Peter Larson and Kenneth Carpenter

19. Oceans of Kansas: A Natural History of the Western Interior Sea, Michael J. Everhart

20. The Rise and Fall of the Dinosaurs, Steve Brusatte

21. All Yesterdays: Unique and Speculative Views of Dinosaurs and Other Prehistoric Animals, John Conway

22. Flying Dinosaurs: How Fearsome Reptiles Became Birds, John Pickrell

23. Feathered Dinosaurs: The Origin of Birds, John Long and Peter Schouten

24. The Origin and Evolution of Mammals, T.S. Kemp

25. Beasts of Eden: Walking Whales, Dawn Horses, and Other Enigmas of Mammal Evolution, David Rains Wallace

26. After the Dinosaurs: The Age of Mammals, Donald R. Prothero

27. Walking with Beasts: A Prehistoric Safari, Tim Haines

28. Cenozoic Mammals of Africa, Lars Werdelin and William Joseph Sanders

29. The Ice Age: A Very Short Introduction, Jamie Woodward

30. Prehistoric America: A Journey through the Ice Age and Beyond, Miles Barton

31. Twilight of the Mammoths: Ice Age Extinctions and the Rewilding of America, Paul S. Martin and Harry W. Greene

32. The Descent of Man, Charles Darwin (1871)

33. Masters of the Planet: The Search for Our Human Origins, Ian Tattersall

34. Lone Survivors: How We Came to Be the Only Humans on Earth, Chris Stringer

35. How to Think Like a Neanderthal, Thomas Wynn & Frederick Coolidge

36. The Symbolic Species: The Co-evolution of Language and the Brain, Terrence W. Deacon

37. The Lost Civilizations of the Stone Age, Richard Rudgley

38. Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, Yuval Noah Harari

39. The Dancing Universe: From Creation Myths to the Big Bang, Marcelo Gleiser

40. Primal Myths: Creation Myths Around the World, Barbara Sproul

41. A History of World Agriculture: From the Neolithic Age to the Current Crisis, Marcel Mazoyer

42. Across Atlantic Ice: The Origin of America’s Clovis Culture, Dennis Stanford & Bruce Bradley

43. Ancient Near East: A Very Short Introduction, Amanda H. Podany

44. The Epic of Gilgamesh (2100 BC)

45. Abraham: The First Historical Biography, David Rosenberg

46. A History of Ancient Egypt, Marc Van De Mieroop

47. Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt: The One and the Many, Erik Hornung

48. The Search for God in Ancient Egypt, Jan Assmann

49. The Egyptian Book of the Dead: The Book of Going Forth by Day, tr. Raymond Faulkner

50. The Mind of Egypt: History and Meaning in the Time of the Pharaohs, Jan Assmann

51. The Family Haggadah

52. The Iliad, Homer (ca. 1180 BC)

53. The Odyssey, Homer (Fagle translation)

54. 1177 BC: The Year Civilization Collapsed, Eric Cline

55. Transformations of Myth through Time, Joseph Campbell

56. The Spirit of Zoroastrianism, Prods Oktor Skjaervo

57. In Search of Zarathustra: Across Iran and Central Asia to Find the World’s First Prophet, Paul Kriwaczek

58. Isaiah: Prophet, Seer, and Poet, Victor Ludlow (700 BC)

59. Rereading Job, Michael Austin (600 BC)

60. How to Read the Bible: A Guide to Scripture, Then and Now, James L. Kugel

61. The Cambridge Companion to the Bible

62. Illuminating Humor of the Bible, Steve Walker

63. The Mother of the Lord, vol. 1: The Lady in the Temple, Margaret Barker

64. The Holy Bible, New International Version

65. The Art of War, Sun Tzu (500 BC)

66. The History of the Ancient World: From the Earliest Accounts to the Fall of Rome, Susan Wise Bauer

67. The Maya, Michael Coe & Stephen Houston (newest edition)

68. Blood and Mistletoe: The History of the Druids in Britain, Ronald Hutton

69. Celtic Myths and Legends, Peter Berresford Ellis

70. Celtic Gods and Heroes, Marie-Louise Sjoestedt

71. Did God Have a Wife?: Archaeology and Folk Religion in Ancient Israel, William Dever

72. The Oxford History of Greece and the Hellenistic World, John Boardman

73. D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths

74. Mythology, Edith Hamilton

75. Bulfinch’s Mythology

76. The Marriage of Cadmus and Harmony, Roberto Calasso

77. Myths and Symbols in Pagan Europe: Early Scandinavian and Celtic Religions, H.R. Ellis Davidson

78. Early Irish Myths and Sagas, Jeffrey Gantz

79. From Sphinx to Christ: An Occult History, Edouard Schure

80. Buddha (Penguin Lives Biographies), Karen Armstrong

81. Buddhacarita, Asvaghosa (ca. 500 BC)

82. Buddhist Scriptures (ca. 500 BC)

83. Ramayana (ca. 500 BC)

84. Mahabharata (ca 400 BC)

85. Ka: Stories of the Mind and Gods of India, Roberto Calasso

86. Tao Te Ching (ca 400 BC)

87. The Zhuangzi (446-221 BC)

88. Old Myths and New Approaches: Interpreting Ancient Religious Sites in Southeast Asia, Alexandra Haendel

89. The Rise of Athens: The Story of the World’s Greatest Civilization, Anthony Everitt

90. Democracy: A Life, Paul Cartledge (ca. 450 BC)

91. Histories, Herodotus (440 BC)

92. History of the Peloponnesian War, Thucydides (410 BC)

93. Meno, Plato (380 BC)94. The Republic, Plato (380 BC)

95. The Symposium, Plato (370 BC)

96. The Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle (350 BC)

97. On the Soul (De Anima), Aristotle (350 BC)

98. Poetics, Aristotle (335 BC)

99. Alexander the Great, Philip Freeman (ca 330 BC)

100. Letters (to Herodotus, Pythocles, & Menoeceus), Epicurus (ca. 200 BC)

101. Analects of Confucius (ca 200 BC)

102. Dhammapada (a Buddhist text) (200 BC)

103. The Lotus Sutra (ca 100 BC)

104. Why Buddhism is True, Robert Wright

105. Cicero: Selected Works (Penguin Classics), Marcus Tullius Cicero (ca 63 BC)

106. Caesar: Life of a Colossus, Adrian Goldsworthy

107. The Conquest of Gaul, Julius Caesar (ca 50 BC)

108. The Aeneid, Virgil (19 BC)

109. Search, Ponder, and Pray: A Guide to the Gospels, Julie M. Smith

110. Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth, Reza Aslan

111. How Jesus Became God, Bart Ehrman

112. A History of the Devil, Gerald Messadie

113. Metamorphoses, Ovid (8 AD)

114. The New Complete Works of Josephus, Josephus

115. A New History of Early Christianity, Charles Freeman

116. The Gnostic Gospels, Elaine Pagels

117. The Nag Hammadi Scriptures: The Revised and Updated Translation of Sacred Gnostic Texts Complete in One Volume, ed. Marvin Meyer

118. A History of God: The 4,000-Year Quest of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, Karen Armstrong

119. Money Changes Everything: How Finance Made Civilization Possible, William Goetzmann

120. The Twelve Caesars, Suetonius (Penguin Classics tr. James Rives) (ca 140 AD)

121. Meditations, Marcus Aurelius (180 AD)

122. The Fall of the Roman Empire: A New History of Rome and the Barbarians, Peter Heather

123. Through the Eye of a Needle: Wealth, the Fall of Rome, and the Making of Christianity in the West, Peter Brown

124. The Triumph of Christianity: How a Forbidden Religion Swept the World, Bart Ehrman

125. The Darkening Age: The Christian Destruction of the Classical World, Catherine Nixey

126. A History of Christianity, Diarmaid MacCulloch

127. Everyman’s Talmud (ca. 200)

128. Confessions, St. Augustine (397)

129. The Illustrated World Encyclopedia of Saints

130. The Silk Road in World History, Xinru Liu

131. Attila: The Barbarian King Who Challenged Rome, John Man (400s)

132. The Consolation of Philosophy, Ancius Boethius (524)

133. One Thousand and One Nights (ca 600)

134. The Civilization of the Middle Ages: A Completely Revised and Expanded Edition of Medieval History, Norman F. Cantor

135. Romance of the Grail: The Magic and Mystery of Arthurian Myth, Joseph Campbell ed. Evans Lansing Smith

136. Le Morte d’Arthur, Thomas Malory (1485)

137. The Making of the Middle Ages, R.W. Southern

138. Medieval Bodies: Life, Death and Art in the Middle Ages, Jack Hartnell

139. The Age of the Vikings, Anders Winroth

140. The Sea Wolves: A History of the Vikings, Lars Brownworth

141. The Viking Spirit: An Introduction to Norse Mythology and Religion, Daniel McCoy

142. Gods and Myths of Northern Europe, H.R. Elllis Davidson

143. Norwegian Folklore, Zinken Hopp

144. Holy Misogyny: Why Sex and Gender Conflicts in the Early Church Still Matter, April DeConick

145. Destiny Disrupted: A History of the World through Islamic Eyes, Tamim Ansary (610…)

146. Islam: A Short History, Karen Armstrong

147. The Holy Qur’an

148. Mohammed and Charlemagne, Henri Pirenne (700s)

149. Beowulf (Heaney translation) (by 900s)

150. A History of the English Speaking Peoples, vol. 1: The Birth of Britain, Winston Churchill

151. The Tale of Genji, Lady Murasaki Shikibu (1000s)

152. The Sagas of Icelanders (1000)

153. Eleanor of Aquitaine: By the Wrath of God, Queen of England, Alison Weir (1100s)

154. Robin Hood and Other Outlaw Tales, ed. Stephen Knight & Thomas Ohlgren

155. Robin Hood: A Mythic Biography, Stephen Thomas Knight

156. Book of Divine Works, Hildegard von Bingen (1163)

157. The Allegory of Love: A Study in Medieval Tradition, C.S. Lewis

158. Money: The Unauthorized Biography: From Coinage to Cryptocurrencies, Felix Martin

159.Genghis Khan: Life, Death, and Resurrection, John Man (ca. 1200)

160. Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World, Jack Weatherford

161. The Secret History of the Mongol Queens, Jack Weatherford

162. Kublai Khan: The Mongol King Who Remade China, John Man

163. St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Francis of Assisi, ed. G.K. Chesterton (1200s)

164. St. Francis of Assisi, Omer Englebert

165. The Poetic Edda (1200s)

166. The Prose Edda, Snorri Sturluson (1200s)

167. The Saga of the Volsungs, Jesse L. Byock (late 1200s)

168. The Travels of Marco Polo, Marco Polo (1200s)

169. Revelations of Divine Love, Julian of Norwich (1300s)

170. Outlaws of the Marsh, Shi Nai’an (1300s)

171. Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Luo Guanzhong (1300s)

172. Robert the Bruce: King of Scots, Ronald McNair Scott (early 1300s)

173. The Divine Comedy, Dante Alighieri (1320)

174. A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous 14th Century, Barbara Tuchman

175. Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies, Jared M. Diamond

176. Marriage: A History, Stephanie Coontz

177. The Future of Marriage, David Blankenhorn

178. The Canterbury Tales, Geoffrey Chaucer (1400)

179. The Civilizing Process, Norbert Elias

180. The Samurai: A Military History, Stephen Turnbull

181. 1421: The Year China Discovered America, Gavin Menzies

182. The Hundred Years War: The English in France 1337-1453, Desmond Seward

183. Joan of Arc: In Her Own Words (early 1400s)

184. History of Creativity in the Arts, Science, and Technology: Pre-1500, Brent Strong

185. The Illustrated History of the Sikhs, Khushwant Singh (late 1400s)

186. The Aztec, Man and Tribe (1400s-1521)

187. The Aztecs, Michael E. Smith

188. 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus, Charles Mann

189. 1493: Uncovering the New World Columbus Created, Charles Mann

190. Conquistador Voices, Volume 1, Kevin H. Siepel

191. Conquistador Voices, Volume 2, Kevin H. Siepel

192. In the Hands of the Great Spirit, John Page

193. Worldly Goods: A New History of the Renaissance, Lisa Jardine

194. The Civilization of the Renaissance in Italy, Jacob Burckhardt

195. The House of Medici: Its Rise and Fall, Christopher Hibbert

196. The Prince, Niccolo Machiavelli (1513)

197. Leonardo da Vinci, Walter Isaacson

198. Utopia, Thomas More (1516)

199. She-Wolves: The Women Who Ruled England Before Elizabeth, Helen Castor

200. The Reformation: A History, Diarmaid MacCulloch

201. Martin Luther: The Man Who Rediscovered God and Changed the World, Eric Metaxas

202. The Discoverers: A History of Man’s Search to Know His World and Himself, Daniel J. Boorstin

203. Michel de Montaigne: The Complete Essays (Penguin Classics), ed. M.A. Screech

204. Spice: The History of a Temptation, Jack Turner

205. The Age of Exploration: From Christopher Columbus to Ferdinand Magellan, Kenneth Pletcher

206. Journey to the West, Wu Cheng’en (1500s)

207. How Paris Became Paris: The Invention of the Modern City, Joan DeJean

208. A History of the English Speaking Peoples, vol. 2: The New World, Winston Churchill

209. The Slave Trade: The Story of the Atlantic Slave Trade, 1440-1870, Hugh Thomas

210. The Life of Elizabeth I, Alison Weir

211. The Faerie Queen, Edmund Spenser (1590)

212. The Lodger Shakespeare: His Life on Silver Street, Charles Nicholl

213. A Year in the Life of William Shakespeare: 1599, James Shapiro

214. London: The Biography, Peter Ackroyd

215. Galileo: Watcher of the Skies, David Wootton

216. Mayflower: A Story of Courage, Community and War, Nathaniel Philbrick (1620)

217. Albion’s Seed: Four British Folkways in America, David Hackett Fischer

218. Art and Commerce in the Dutch Golden Age, Michael North

219. Gotham: A History of New York City to 1898, Edwin G. Burrows & Mike Wallace

220. The Thirty Years War: Europe’s Tragedy, Peter H. Wilson

221. Coming of Age in the Milky Way, Timothy Ferris

222. The Leviathan, Thomas Hobbes (1651)

223. Ethics, Benedict de Spinoza (1665)

224. The Scourge of Demons: Possession, Lust, and Witchcraft in a 17th-century Italian Convent, Jeffrey Watt

225. The Great Fire of London, Neil Hanson (1666)

226. Paradise Lost (1667)

227. The Pilgrim’s Progress (1678)

228. The Diary of Samuel Pepys (Modern Library Classics), Samuel Pepys ed. Richard Le Gallienne (late 1600s)

229. The Scientific Revolution, Stephen Shapin

230. The Invention of Science: A New History of the Scientific Revolution, David Wootton

231. Never at Rest: A Biography of Isaac Newton, Richard Westfall (1642-1726)

232. A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson

233. Ways of Knowing: A New History of Science, Technology, and Medicine, John Pickstone

234. Two Treatises on Government, John Locke (1689)

235. The Penguin Book of Witches (1692)

236. In the Devil’s Snare, Mary Beth Norton (1692)

237. Memoirs of Duc de Saint-Simon, 1691-1709: Presented to the King, Duc de Saint-Simon

238. Gulliver’s Travels, Jonathan Swift (1726) (and A Modest Proposal)

239. The Major Works (Oxford World’s Classics), Alexander Pope (early 1700s)

240. China: A History, John Keay

241. The Dream of the Red Chamber, Cao Xueqin (1700s)

242. Strange Tales from the Liaozhai Studio vol. 1 (1740)

243. Strange Tales from the Liaozhai Studio vol. 2

244. Strange Tales from the Liaozhai Studio vol. 3

245. The Story of Music: From Babylon to the Beatles, Howard Goodall

246. Johann Sebastian Bach: The Learned Musician, Christoph Wolff (early 1700s)

247. A History of the English Speaking Peoples, vol. 3: The Age of Revolution, Winston Churchill

248. The Rise and Fall of the British Empire, Lawrence James

249. The Theory of Moral Sentiments, Adam Smith (1759)

250. Candide, Voltaire (1759)

251. Treasury of North American Folk Tales, Catherine Peck

252. Crucible of War: The Seven Years’ War and the Fate of Empire in British North America, 1754-1766, Fred Anderson

253. Benjamin Franklin, Edmund S. Morgan

254. The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

255. Catherine the Great: Portrait of a Woman, Robert Massie

256. A People’s History of the United States, Howard Zinn

257. An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations, Adam Smith (1776)

258. Grand Pursuit: The Story of Economic Genius, Sylvia Nasar

259. Common Sense, Thomas Paine (1776)

260. The Ideological Origins of the American Revolution, Bernard Bailyn

261. The Radicalism of the American Revolution, Gordon S. Wood

262. 1776, David McCullough

263. The Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson

264. History of the Rise, Progress and Termination of the American Revolution, Mercy Otis Warren

265. Washington’s Crossing, David Hackett Fischer

266. George Washington, A Life, Willard Sterne Randall

267. The Creation of the American Republic, 1776-1787, Gordon S. Wood

268. Washington: A Life, Ron Chernow

269. The Grand Idea: George Washington’s Potomac and the Race to the West, Joel Achenbach

270. His Excellency: George Washington, Joseph J. Ellis

271. James Wilson: Founding Father, 1742-1798, Charles Page Smith

272. The Constitution and Bill of Rights, James Madison

273. The Federalist Papers, Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, John Jay (1788)

274. The First Congress: How James Madison, George Washington, and a Group of Extraordinary Men Invented the Government, Fergus Bordewich

275. Original Meanings: Politics and Ideas in the Making of the Constitution, Jack Rakove

276. Constitutional Law: Principles and Policies, Erwin Chemerinsky

277. That’s Not What They Meant, Michael Austin

278. The Second Amendment: A Biography, Michael Waldman

279. That’s Not What They Meant About Guns, Michael Austin

280. Taming the Electoral College, Robert Bennett

281. Why the Electoral College is Bad for America, George C. Edwards

282. Faust, Goethe (1790)

283. The Ancien Regime and the Revolution, Alexis de Tocqueville

284. Citizens: A Chronicle of the French Revolution, Simon Schama

285. The Rights of Man, Thomas Paine (1791)

286. A Vindication of the Rights of Women, Mary Wollstonecraft (1792)

287. A Midwife’s Tale: The Life of Martha Ballard, Based on Her Diary, 1785-1812, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

288. A History of Japan: Revised Edition, R.H.P. Mason

289. John Adams, David McCullough

290. Passionate Sage: The Character and Legacy of John Adams, Joseph J. Ellis

291. The Scramble for Africa, Thomas Pakenham

292. Alexander Hamilton, Ron Chernow

293. Alexander Hamilton: The Formative Years, Michael Newton

294. Alexander Hamilton: Writings (plus Farmer Refuted, Washington’s farewell address, & the Reynolds Pamphlet)

295. The Age of Reason, Thomas Paine (1804)

296. Jefferson and His Time, Dumas Malone

297. Thomas Jefferson, Willard Sterne Randall

298. Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power, Jon Meacham

299. American Sphinx: The Character of Thomas Jefferson, Joseph J. Ellis

300. Most Blessed of the Patriarchs: Thomas Jefferson and the Empire of the Imagination, Annette Gordon-Reed and Peter Onuf

301. Slavery and the Founders: Race and Liberty in the Age of Jefferson, Paul Finkelman

302. The Founding Foodies: How Washington, Jefferson, and Franklin Revolutionized American Cuisine, Dave DeWitt

303. The Journals of Lewis and Clark, Lewis and Clark (1806)

304. The Invention of Nature: Alexander von Humboldt’s New World, Andrea Wulf

305. A History of the English Speaking Peoples, vol. 4: The Great Democracies, Winston Churchill

306. The Cambridge Illustrated History of France, Colin Jones

307. France, a History: From Gaul to De Gaulle, John Julius Norwich

308. Napoleon: A Life, Andrew Roberts

309. The Brothers Grimm (1812)

310. James Madison and the Creation of the American Republic, Jack Rakove

311. James Madison: A Biography, Ralph Ketchem

312. The Civil War of 1812: American Citizens, British Subjects, Irish Rebels, & Indian Allies, Alan Taylor

313. The Naval War of 1812, Theodore Roosevelt

314. Bolivar: American Liberator, Marie Arana (ca. 1810s)

315. The Last Founding Father: James Monroe and a Nation’s Call to Greatness, Harlow Giles Unger

316. The Monroe Doctrine: Empire and Nation in Nineteenth-Century America, Jay Sexton

317. The English and their History, Robert Tombs

318. An Insider’s View of Mormon Origins, Grant Palmer

319. Early Mormonism and the Magic World View, D. Michael Quinn

320. Standing Apart: Mormon Historical Consciousness and the Concept of Apostasy, Miranda Wilcox & John Young

321. Nation Builder: John Quincy Adams and the Grand Strategy of the Republic, Charles Edel

322. John Quincy Adams: American Visionary, Fred Kaplan

323. John Quincy Adams, Robert V. Remini

324. Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling, Richard Bushman

325. Mormon Enigma: Emma Hale Smith, Linda King Newell and Valeen Tippetts Avery

326. By the Hand of Mormon: The American Scripture that Launched a New World Religion, Terryl Givens

327. Understanding the Book of Mormon, Grant Hardy

328. The Book of Mormon: Revised Authorized Version

329. The Mormon Hierarchy: Origins of Power, D. Michael Quinn

330. Banishing the Cross: The Emergence of a Mormon Taboo, Michael G. Reed

331. This Is My Doctrine: The Development of Mormon Theology, Charles Harrell

332. The Refiner’s Fire: The Making of Mormon Cosmology, John L. Brooke

333. A Comprehensive History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints vol. 1, B.H. Roberts

334. Garibaldi: Invention of a Hero, Lucy Riall (1834 revolt)

335. Road to the Sea, Florence Dorsey

336. Andrew Jackson: His Life and Times, H.W. Brands

337. American Lion: Andrew Jackson in the White House, Jon Meacham

338. Jacksonland, Steve Inskeep

339. Democracy in America, Alexis de Tocqueville (1835)

340. Martin Van Buren: The Romantic Age of American Politics, John Niven

341. The Voyage of the Beagle, Charles Darwin (1839)

342. Incarnations: A History of India in Fifty Lives, Sunil Khilnani

343. Old Tippecanoe: William Henry Harrison and His Times, Freeman Cleaves

344. John Tyler: Champion of the Old South, Oliver P. Chitwood

345. Self-Reliance and Other Essays, Ralph Waldo Emerson (1841)

346. Fear and Trembling, Soren Kierkegaard (1843)

347. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass (1845)

348. Woman in the Nineteenth Century, Margaret Fuller (1845)

349. What Hath God Wrought: The Transformation of America, 1815-1848, Daniel Walker Howe

350. Nightfall at Nauvoo, Samuel W. Taylor

351. A Comprehensive History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints vol. 2, B.H. Roberts

352. Journey to Zion: Voices from the Mormon Trail, Carol Cornwall Madsen

353. 111 Days to Zion, Hal Knight

354. The Gathering of Zion, Wallace Stegner

355. A Comprehensive History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints vol. 3, B.H. Roberts

356. The Plains Across: The Overland Emigrants on the Trans-Mississippi West, 1840-60, John D. Unruh

357. So Far from God: The U.S. War with Mexico, 1846-1848, John S. D. Eisenhower

358. The Oregon Trail, Francis Parkman (1849)

359. The Age of Gold: The California Gold Rush and the New American Dream, H.W. Brands

360. Civil Disobedience, Henry David Thoreau (1849)

361. The American Transcendentalists

362. The Man Who Transformed the Presidency and America (James Polk), Walter Borneman

363. Fire and Blood: A History of Mexico, T.R. Fehrenbach

364. Zachary Taylor: Soldier, Planter, Statesman of the Old Southwest, K. Jack Bauer

365. The War Before the War: Fugitive Slaves and the Struggle for America’s Soul from the Revolution to the Civil War, Andrew Delbanco

366. Millard Fillmore: Biography of a President, Robert J. Rayback

367. Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Harriet Beecher Stowe (1852)

368. Walden, Henry David Thoreau (1854)

369. Franklin Pierce, Michael Holt

370. President James Buchanan: A Biography, Philip S. Klein

371. Parley P. Pratt: The Apostle Paul of Mormonism, Terryl Givens

372. A Comprehensive History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints vol. 4, B.H. Roberts

373. American Massacre: The Tragedy at Mountain Meadows, September 1857, Sally Denton

374. America in 1857: A Nation on the Brink, Kenneth Stampp

375. The West Indies and the Spanish Main, Anthony Trollope (1860)

376. Charles Darwin: The Power of Place, Janet Browne

377. Battle Cry of Freedom: The Civil War Era, James McPherson

378. Centennial History of the Civil War, vol. 1: The Coming Fury, Bruce Catton

379. Centennial History of the Civil War, vol. 2: Terrible Swift Sword, Bruce Catton

380. Centennial History of the Civil War, vol. 3: Never Call Retreat, Bruce Catton

381. Lincoln: The Biography of a Writer, Fred Kaplan

382. The Eloquent President: A Portrait of Lincoln through his Words, Ronald White

383. The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln

384. Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln, Doris Kearns Goodwin

385. Confederate Reckoning: Power and Politics in the Civil War South, Stephanie McCurry

386. The South vs. the South: How Anti-Confederate Southerners Shaped the Course of the Civil War, William Freehling

387. Andersen’s Fairy Tales, Hans Christian Andersen

388. Matthew Brady’s Illustrated History of the Civil War

389. With Malice Toward None: A Life of Abraham Lincoln, Stephen Oates

390. A Short History of Canada (6th ed), Desmond Morton

391. Abraham Lincoln: The Prairie Years and the War Years, Carl Sandburg

392. This Republic of Suffering: Death and the American Civil War, Drew Gilpin Faust

393. Abraham Lincoln, Lord Charnwood

394. Empress Dowager Cixi: The Concubine Who Launched Modern China, Jung Chang

395. Andrew Johnson, Annette Gordon-Reed

396. Biographical Supplement and Index, Harriet Sigerman

397. Mormon Sisters: Women in Early Utah, Claudia Bushman

398. Development of LDS Temple Worship, Devery Anderson

399. The Memoirs of Hector Berlioz

400. Brigham Young: Pioneer Prophet, John C. Turner

401. Great Basin Kingdom: An Economic History of the Latter-day Saints, 1830-1900, Leonard Arrington

402. A Comprehensive History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints vol. 5, B.H. Roberts

403. Grant, Ron Chernow

404. Grant: A Biography, William S. McFeeley

405. American Ulysses: A Life of Ulysses S. Grant, Ronald C. White

406. Complete Personal Memoirs, Ulysses S. Grant

407. Capital (Das Kapital), Karl Marx (first edition 1867, third 1894)

408. The Metaphysical Club: A Story of Ideas in America, Louis Menand

409. Black Reconstruction, W.E.B. Du Bois

410. Reconstruction: America’s Unfinished Revolution, updated edition, Eric Foner

411. A Nation Under Our Feet: Black Political Struggles in the Rural South from Slavery to the Great Migration, Steven Hahn

412. Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, Dee Brown

413. Custer’s Trials: A Life on the Frontier of a New America, T.J. Stiles

414. Rutherford B. Hayes, Hans Trefousse

415. Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Friedrich Nietzsche

416. Beyond Good and Evil: Prelude to a Philosophy of the Future, Friedrich Nietzsche

417. Assassination Vacation (James Garfield), Sarah Vowell

418. Destiny of the Republic (James Garfield), Candice Millard

419. Gentleman Boss: The Life of Chester Alan Arthur, Thomas C. Reeves

420. King Leopold’s Ghost: A Story of Greed, Terror, and Heroism in Colonial Africa, Adam Hochschild

421. How Europe Underdeveloped Africa, Walter Rodney

422. More Wives Than One: Transformation of the Mormon Marriage System, 1840-1910, Kathryn M. Daynes

423. The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy, Carol Lynn Pearson

424. Selected Writings, José Martí (Penguin Classics)

425. Dawn of the Belle Epoque, Mary McAuliffe

426. Grover Cleveland: A Study in Character, Henry F. Graff

427. Manning Clark’s History of Australia: Abridged from the Six-Volume Classic, Manning Clark

428. The Making of Modern Ireland, 1603-1923, J.C. Beckett

429. Benjamin Harrison, Charles W. Calhoun

430. How the Other Half Lives: Studies Among the Tenements of New York, Jacob Riis (1890)

431. Greater Gotham: A History of New York City from 1898 to 1919, Mike Wallace

432. The History of Spain, Peter Pierson

433. Presidency of William McKinley, Lewis L. Gould

434. The Souls of Black Folk, W.E.B. Du Bois

435. Theodore Rex, Edmund Morris

436. The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt, Edmund Morris

437. Mornings on Horseback (Theodore Roosevelt), David McCullough

438. Marie Curie: A Life, Susan Quinn

439. The Shame of the Cities, Lincoln Steffens (1904)

440. Albert Einstein: A Biography, Albrecht Folsing

441. Relativity: The Special and General Theory, Albert Einstein (1905)

442. The Jungle, Upton Sinclair (1906)

443. The Bully Pulpit: Theodore Roosevelt, William Howard Taft, and the Golden Age of Journalism, Doris Kearns Goodwin

444. The Life & Times of William Howard Taft, Harry F. Pringle

445. The Power and Independence of the Federal Reserve, Peter Conti-Brown

446. Americana: A 400-Year History of American Capitalism, Bhu Srinivasan

447. The War that Ended Peace: The Road to 1914, Margaret MacMillan

448. July 1914: Countdown to War, Sean McMeekin

449. The Guns of August, Barbara Tuchman

450. A World Undone: The Story of the Great War, 1914 to 1918, G.J. Meyer

451. Pandemic 1918: Eyewitness Accounts from the Greatest Medical Holocaust in Modern History, Catharine Arnold

452. Woodrow Wilson: A Biography, John Milton Cooper

453. Women and the Vote: A World History, Jad Adams

454. Rise Up Women!: The Remarkable Lives of the Suffragettes, Diane Atkinson

455. The Shadow of Blooming Grove: Warren G. Harding in His Times, Francis Russell

456. A History of Russia (new edition w Mark Steinberg), Nicholas V. Riasanovsky

457. The Flight of the Romanovs: A Family Saga, John Curtis Perry and Constantine V. Pleshakov

458. Ten Days that Shook the World, John Reed

459. Barracoon: The Story of the Last “Black Cargo,” Zora Neale Hurston

460. Coolidge: An American Enigma, Robert Sobel

461. Anything Goes: A Biography of the Roaring Twenties, Lucy Moore

462. Herbert Hoover, William Leuchtenburg

463. A Comprehensive History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints vol. 6, B.H. Roberts

464. Lords of Finance: The Bankers Who Broke the World, Liaquat Ahamed

465. Freedom from Fear: The American People in Depression and War, David Kennedy

466. Let Us Now Praise Famous Men, Walker Evans and James Agee

467. Black Elk Speaks, Black Elk

468. Franklin D. Roosevelt: Champion of Freedom, Conrad Black

469. FDR, Jean Edward Smith

470. The Woman Behind the New Deal: The Life and Legacy of Frances Perkins, Kirstin Downey

471. Defining Moment: FDR’s Hundred Days and the Triumph of Hope, Jonathan Alte

472. Eleanor Roosevelt: Vol. 1, The Early Years, 1884-1933, Blanche Wiesen Cook

473. Eleanor Roosevelt: Vol. 2, The Defining Years, 1933-1938, Blanche Wiesen Cook

474. Eleanor Roosevelt: Vol. 3, The War Years and After, 1939-1962, Blanche Wiesen Cook

475. No Ordinary Time (FDR), Doris Kearns Goodwin

476. Alan Turing: The Enigma, Andrew Hodges

477. The Storm of War: A New History of the Second World War, Andrew Roberts

478. Bloodlands, Timothy Snyder

479. Leningrad, Anna Reid

480. A Woman in Berlin: Eight Weeks in the Conquered City: A Diary

481. Churchill: Walking with Destiny, Andrew Roberts

482. Memoirs of the Second World War, Winston Churchill

483. The Destruction of the European Jews, Raul Hilberg

484. The Diary of a Young Girl, Anne Frank

485. Night, Elie Wiesel

486. Hiroshima, John Hersey

487. Nuremberg Trials: The Nazis and Their Crimes Against Humanity, Paul Roland

488. Truman, David McCullough

489. Gandhi: An Autobiography, Mahatma Gandhi

490. The Life of Mahatma Gandhi, Louis Fischer

491. The Arabs: A History, Eugene Rogan

492. Mao: The Unknown Story, Jung Chang and Jon Halliday

493. Inside Red China, Helen Foster Snow

494. Red Star Over China, Edgar Snow

495. The Coldest Winter: America and the Korean War, David Halberstam

496. An American Childhood, Annie Dillard

497. Eisenhower in War and Peace, Jean Edward Smith

498. The Double Helix: A Personal Account of the Discovery of the Structure of DNA, James D. Watson (1953)

499. Rosalind Franklin: The Dark Lady of DNA, Brenda Maddox

500. Mississippi Trial, 1955, Chris Crowe

501. Sake & Satori: Asian Journals, Joseph Campbell

502. A Concise History of Germany, Mary Fulbrook

503. The Mormon Hierarchy: Wealth and Corporate Power, D. Michael Quinn

504. Lost Legacy: The Mormon Office of Presiding Patriarch, Irene Bates

505. The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan (1963)

506. A Thousand Days (JFK), Arthur M. Schlesinger

507. An Unfinished Life (JFK), Robert Dallek

508. A History of Modern Africa: 1800 to the Present, 2nd ed., Richard J. Reid

509. The Years of Lyndon Johnson, vol. 1: The Path to Power, Robert Caro

510. The Years of Lyndon Johnson, vol. 2: Means of Ascent, Robert Caro

511. The Years of Lyndon Johnson, vol. 3: Master of the Senate, Robert Caro

512. The Years of Lyndon Johnson, vol. 4: The Passage of Power, Robert Caro

513. The Years of Lyndon Johnson, vol. 5: untitled/unreleased, Robert Caro

514. Parting the Waters: America in the King Years 1954-63, Taylor Branch

515. Pillar of Fire: America in the King Years 1963-65, Taylor Branch

516. At Canaan’s Edge: America in the King Years, 1965-68, Taylor Branch

517. The Autobiography of Malcolm X, Malcolm X & Alex Haley

518. The Fire Next Time, James Baldwin

519. Lakota Woman, Mary Crow Dog

520. The Bomb: A New History, Stephen Younger

521. This New Ocean: The Story of the First Space Age, William Burrows

522. A History of the Modern Middle East, 5th ed., William Cleveland

523. Indira: The Life of Indira Nehru Gandhi, Katherine Frank

524. Embers of War: The Fall of an Empire and the Making of America’s Vietnam, Fredrik Logevall

525. The Best and the Brightest, David Halberstam

526. Lessons in Disaster: McGeorge Bundy and the Path to War in Vietnam, Gordon Goldstein

527. To Destroy You Is No Loss: The Odyssey of a Cambodian Family, JoAn D. Criddle

528. All the President’s Men, Carl Bernstein & Bob Woodward

529. Nixonland, Richard Perlstein

530. The Seventies: The Great Shift in American Culture, Society, and Politics, Bruce Schulman

531. Gerald R. Ford, Douglas Brinkley

532. Pedestals and Podiums: Utah Women, Religious Authority, and Equal Rights, Martha Bradley

533. Petals of Blood, Nugi wa Thiong’o (1977 Kenyan novel)

534. Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela

535. Spear of the Nation: South Africa’s Liberation Army, Janet Cherry

536. Country of My Skull: Guilt, Sorrow, and the Limits of Forgiveness in the New South Africa, Antjie Krog

537. Redeemer: The Life of Jimmy Carter, Randall Balmer

538. The Power Broker: Robert Moses and the Fall of New York, Robert A. Caro

539. President Reagan: The Role of a Lifetime, Lou Cannon

540. 1983: The World at the Brink, Taylor Downing

541. A History of the Soviet Union from the Beginning to the End, Peter Kenez

542. Lost Lives (the Troubles), David McKittrick, Seamus Kelters, Brian Feeley, and Chris Thornton

543. Harvest of Empire: A History of Latinos in America, Juan Gonzalez

544. As Texas Goes: How the Lone Star State Hijacked the American Agenda, Gail Collins

545. Destiny and Power: The American Odyssey of George Herbert Walker Bush, Jon Meacham

546. First in His Class (Bill Clinton), David Maraniss

547. Perpetual War for Perpetual Peace, Gore Vidal (2002)

548. Ghost Wars: The Secret History of the CIA, Afghanistan, and Bin Laden, from the Soviet Invasion to September 11, 2001, Steve Coll

549. Days of Fire: Bush and Cheney in the White House, Peter Baker

550. Monument Wars: Washington, D.C., the National Mall, and the Transformation of the Memorial Landscape, Kirk Savage

551. The Formations of Modernity, Stuart Hall & Bram Gieben

552. Republic, Lost: How Money Corrupts Congress – and a Plan to Stop It, Lawrence Lessig (he wrote a sequel, same title with “2.0” in 2015)

553. All the Devils Are Here: The Hidden History of the Financial Crisis, Bethany McLean

554. Back to Work, Bill Clinton

555. Beyond Outrage: What Has Gone Wrong with our Economy and our Democracy and How to Fix It, Robert Reich

556. A Governor’s Story, Jennifer Granholm

557. Life, Inc.: How Corporatism Conquered the World and How We Can Take It Back, Douglas Rushkoff

558. Dreams from my Father, Barack Obama

559. Barack Obama: The Story, David Maraniss

560. The Bridge: The Life and Rise of Barack Obama, David Remnick

561. Confidence Men: Wall Street, Washington, and the Education of a President (Obama), Ron Suskind

562. Obama’s Wars, Bob Woodward

563. Hard Choices: A Memoir, Hillary Clinton

564. The Audacity of Hope, Barack Obama

565. The Gatekeepers: How the White House Chiefs of Staff Define Every Presidency, Chris Whipple

566. Between the World and Me, Ta-Nehisi Coates

567. The Heartbeat of Wounded Knee: Native America from 1890 to the Present, David Treuer

568. DNA: The Story of the Genetic Revolution, James D. Watson

569. Age of Ambition: Chasing Fortune, Truth, and Faith in the New China, Evan Osnos

570. Unequal Democracy: The Political Economy of the New Gilded Age, Larry Bartels

571. The Post-American World: Release 2.0, Fareed Zakaria

572. What Happened, Hillary Clinton

573. THE NOT YET WRITTEN DEFINITIVE ACCOUNT OF THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION’S SCANDALS

574. How Democracies Die, Steve Levitsky & Daniel Ziblatt

575. The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels, Jon Meacham

576. America: The Farewell Tour, Chris Hedges

577. A Call to Action, Jimmy Carter

578. I Am Malala, Malala Yousafzai

579. A Path Appears, Nicholas Kristof & Sheryl WuDunn

580. The History of Creativity in the Arts, Science, and Technology: 1500-Present, Brent Strong

581. Brief Answers to the Big Questions, Stephen Hawking

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originaldisneydescendants · 6 years ago

Text

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

Tagged by:

@askvarian-alchemyisforstuds

Tagging: If you want to do it, consider yourself tagged.

1. What is you middle name? Jeanne

2. How old are you? 22 3. When is your birthday? July 10 4. What is your zodiac sign? Not into Zodiacs 5. What is your favorite color? Pink, blue and purple 6. What’s your lucky number? N/A 7. Do you have any pets? A husky mix named Olivia NJ after the singer and a budgie named Azul 8. Where are you from? Originally: Concord, California 9. How tall are you? 5′2.5” 10. What shoe size are you? 8 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Um... six I think? Probably another pair or two hidden somewhere in my closet. 12. What was your last dream about? My mom and I escaping some weird lady who was chasing us. At one point I was riding behind her on a motorcycle and she popped a wheelie. 13. What talents do you have? I've been told that I'm good at singing, art (painting, drawing, sculpting etc.) and writing (prose/poetry) 14. Are you psychic in any way? No, but I have had prophetic dreams of God just making me aware of what's currently going on in my life 15. Favorite song? A million songs is all it's gonna take, a million songs for the playlist I'm gonna make! 16. Favorite movie? Prince of Egypt, Coco 17. Who would be your ideal partner? The video is pretty cheesy but A Man of God like the one described in this one song 18. Do you want children? Yeah, someday 19. Do you want a church wedding? And I was my pastor to officiate it 20. Are you religious? Let me put it this way, Jesus died for me. How could I do anything less than live for Him? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? On a field trip 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Not to my memory, no 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Define 'met' then define 'celebrity'. I've MET people who are well-known but not exactly celebrity status and asked a question at a Q&A with someone who I guess could be considered a minor celebrity? 24. Baths or showers? Showers and long ones 25. What color socks are you wearing? N/A 26. Have you ever been famous? Voted 'Most Artistic' freshman year at High School, does that count? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? HAHAHAHAHAHA no 28. What type of music do you like? Most kinds as long as it's not screamo or too folky and even then I may have an exception or two 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Maybe when I was a little kid? 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Lots 31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my stomach or curled up 32. How big is your house? My mom called it a 'cracker box' house 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Muffins, crepes or waffles 34. Have you ever fired a gun? I'm probably the only person in my family and the whole state who hasn't 35. Have you ever tried archery? In High School P.E. yeah 36. Favorite clean word? Shoot! 37. Favorite swear word? I generally don't swear. I could probably count the number of times on my hands. If you ever hear me swear... run 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 24-48 hours? I don't remember 39. Do you have any scars? Everywhere 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Define 'secret' 41. Are you a good liar? I don't think so, I try to avoid lying as much as I can 42. Are you a good judge of character? I think so? Not if I have a crush on them though unfortunately 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? A few, I'm not sure how many 44. Do you have a strong accent? I guess? I tend to pronounce my Ts as Ds like people in the area do 45. What is your favorite accent? Scottish and French, maybe British as well 46. What is your personality type? ISFP last I checked 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? An outfit that my grandmother bought for my last Easter with a black boat-neck top and a poofy black and white skirt 48. Can you curl your tongue? Yup 49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie 50. Left or right handed? Right 51. Are you scared of spiders? I used to be very arachnophobic but I think I'm getting a little better. I think it would be a lot easier if they didn't bite or move so fast. I'm gonna have to get used to them because my mom now lives in a rural house and they have orb-weaver spiders EVERYWHERE 52. Favorite food? Honey-walnut shrimp, rotisserie hot dogs and pizza 53. Favorite foreign food? Ethiopian stew and call me weird, I like calamari and kim nori 54. Are you a clean or messy person? It fluctuates 55. Most used phrase? “LORD help me.” 56. Most used word? Cool 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? I am slow so it takes forever 58. Do you have much of an ego? I try not to? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? When I'm not just letting it sit in my mouth, I gnaw like an animal chewing on a bone 60. Do you talk to yourself? Of course I do. I have a lot to say and few people willing to hear me ramble 61. Do you sing to yourself? When I'm home alone 62. Are you a good singer? I got a four out of five score in my High School's solo and ensemble competition and I believe I have improved since then 63. Biggest Fear? Very venomous things 64. Are you a gossip? I really try not to but sometimes some nameless gossip slips out of me 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Besides Prince of Egypt, The Case for Christ actually had me crying through most of it 66. Do you like long or short hair? Both have pros and cons. Short hair doesn't get knotted or tangled but you can't do the braids you want and if you go to sleep with wet hair you will wake up to a monster on your head that you can't get rid of 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Here we go... California, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Colorado, Texas, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Missouri, Ohio, Illinois, New York, Massachusetts, Georgia, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Alabama, Hawaii, Alaska, Maine, Maryland, Rhode Island, Nebraska, Virginia, West Virginia, Arkansas, Wyoming, Mississippi, Louisiana, Utah, Michigan, and here are the rest that I got from the Animaniac's song: Indiana, New Jersey, Delaware, New Hampshire, Vermont, Connecticut, Kansas, Iowa, 68. Favorite school subject? Art and Creative Writing 69. Extrovert or Introvert? Usually an introvert but I have extroverted moments 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope 71. What makes you nervous? Public speaking 72. Are you scared of the dark? I was when I was a kid 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? ...I have a habit 74. Are you ticklish? Don't touch me 75. Have you ever started a rumor? If I have it was unintentional and I was unaware of it 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Does backstage security count? 77. Have you ever drank underage? Depends. Does that include church communion? 78. Have you ever done drugs? I drink a lot of caffeine 79. Who was your first real crush? Hunter from Kindergarten, he had curly hair and dimples and to this day that remains a weakness of mine 80. How many piercings do you have? I don't even have my ears pierced, not that I have anything against it, it just never happened 81. Can you roll your Rs? The ability comes and goes 82. How fast can you type? I took a whole class on typing and I have no clue 83. How fast can you run? I ran a mile in 12 minutes and I think that was me at my fastest 84. What color is your hair? Brown 85. What color are your eyes? Dark brown 86. What are you allergic to? I may have a slight allergy to the adhesive in band-aids depending on where I put them 87. Do you keep a journal? I've tried repeatedly but it always gets neglected 88. What do your parents do? My mom is a caretaker for the elderly and my dad is a retired under sheriff/paramedic who now drives the city bus and teaches driving 89. Do you like your age? I'm in the prime of life yo 90. What makes you angry? My brother taking a whole box of food, eating half of it and throwing the rest away without touching it... 91. Do you like your own name? Yeah 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Not the most unique but I like Luke and Matthew for boys and maybe Akina for a girl? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? See above 94. What are you strengths? Spirit. 95. What are your weaknesses? *Opens book* *Ahem* chapter one... 96. How did you get your name? My name means hillside/slope and I was named after where my dad proposed to my mom... also a perfume company 97. Were your ancestors royalty? Not that I'm aware of 98. Do you have any scars? Didn't I already answer this one? 99. Color of your bedspread? Cream with gold stars 100. Color of your room? Way too light to be beige and dull? I'm not sure...

#placing this under the cut because it is so long

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