#Jesus H. Christ on a Cracker

[cosmicjoke]

You and all you’re little cronies that reblog and comment on your bullshit takes need to come to terms with the fact that you are all homophobic. Clearly the thought of a beautiful relationship between two men has you pressed. It’s not our fault we can see Levi loved Erwin…it’s your homophobia and blindness that is stopping you from seeing what’s there.

I have a serious question for you. Are you mentally handicapped? No, I really want to know. Because if you're not, that just means you're actually, legitimately stupid. Like, I'm talking an IQ of less than 70. You should go get tested.

You complete fucking jackass. Over half the stuff on post on my blog is about CANONICALLY gay relationships. Yuri on Ice, Banana Fish, Twittering Birds Never Fly, The Vampire Chronicles, etc, etc... And yet, in the recesses of your admittedly hollow brain, you somehow come to the conclusion, over and over, that me and anyone else who points out the simple fact that Levi isn't in love with Erwin must be homophobic, because that's the only reason you can think of for why someone would say that. Never mind that there's NOTHING in the source material to support your deluded notion of gay love between them. So, yeah, you're a fucking moron. Anyway, I'm done. Write to me again and it's into the trash bin for you, right where you belong.

Also, you continue to display to all and sundry what a pathetic coward you are by remaining on anon. You'd piss your little baby pants before having the sack to talk to anyone the way you do on anon with your actual identity exposed.

[lightyaoigami]

i just saw a tiktok that said sending people pictures and saying "this made me think of you" is a sign of unmanaged bpd & toxic attachment fidfjjskfjdhhsjdj have we truly pathologized friendship??

[bigmammallama5]

the relief i felt from this news

[azlyxo]

NOSRAMUS # THEY/THEM # PUSSY # IN # BIO

[azmenka]

right, since @/ach1llean / @/crownconspirers just casually killed me with that starter that I ofc HAD to read during my teams meeting just now, I'm gonna slink back into my drafts and keep on working on that queue. ahem.

I'm on discord if anyone wants to chat / plot. if you don't have my discord but we're mutuals and you'd like to have it, feel free to shoot me a quick IM and I'm happy to send you the handle ♡

[tymptir]

hol up, Brandon WAS TWENTY WHEN HE DIED ???!

the fuck grrm how young are these people to be having children and getting unalived

[curiosity-killed]

Love Baloo but wish she would not actively seek out the most painful parts of my leg to step directly onto with her whole entire (sizable) weight

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: anon request - "can you write a smut for johnnie guilbert??"

Prompt: Johnnie and reader get into an argument which leads to make up sex.

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, arguing, hair pulling, pet names (dirty and cute), oral (m rec), unprotected rough makeup sex, filth

Word count: 2.6k | not edited

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

Johnnie has been working on editing his and Jake's video all day.

You think, no. You knew he forgot about them.

It wouldn't be as big of a deal if this was only the first time, maybe even the second or third - But it wasn't.

Over the last few weeks, you've had to either cancel or forget about plans because of Johnnie putting majority of his time into his computer screen rather than you.

You didn't really talk to anyone about it, or say anything to Johnnie, mainly because this is his job and you didn't think you had any room to bitch.

You checked your phone, sighing at the time - twenty minutes past reservation.

You used to remind him, then after the thirteenth, fourteenth, and fifteenth time, you decided that he should be able to put down the computer for an hour or two on his own, so you decided to just let things go.

You never really blamed him, sometimes it was because he actually had deadlines to make, or a video he and Jake were doing ran long.

But when that wasn't the case, you used yourself as an excuse - not feeling well, didn't sleep good the night before, something simple yet believable.

You rise up from the couch, walking towards Johnnie's room. You pass Jake in the hallway and he makes a joke you're in no mood for, "Fix your face, you look pissed."

His laughter is silenced when you roll your eyes, "I am."

"Uh oh."  Jake puts his hands on his hips, shifting his weight onto his right leg, "What did Johnnie do?"

You shake your head and cross your arms, looking away from him because you didn't want him to see the frustrated tears in your eyes.

"Am I going to hear yelling?" He asks and you nod, laughing slightly, "Probably."

"Shit." He sighs, "Well if you need backup, just yell- ooh. We should have a code word."

You stare at him, trying not to laugh as he taps his chin, "Hippopotamus."

"Hippop- Jake. Really?" You laugh and he shrugs, "Well yeah, if you just scream hippopotamus, that will for sure throw him off even more, then I can come in with an open can of whoop ass."

He moves his hands in front of him, a serious look on his face that you just cannot take serious, "Okay. I don't think I'll need it, but I appreciate the support."

You pat his shoulder, watching him walk away before taking a deep breath, returning to what you were originally doing.

You stop in front of Johnnie's door, composing yourself so you don't go in, already lit like a fire cracker.

You know twice before opening the door, "Hey."

Johnnie has his headphones on, so he probably didn't hear you. You walk in, closing the door behind you. You walk over to him, gently tapping him on the shoulder.

"Jesus fu-" he jumps and looks up at you, "Jesus Christ, babe." He sighs, "Scared the fucking shit out of me."

"Sorry." You smile slightly and sit on the bed, "Whatcha doin'?"

He pulls his headphones down around his neck, "Just working on getting this video out."

You nod, "Cool. Cool.”

You look around his room, picking at your nails as you try and figure out how to calmly start the conversation.

"What's wrong?" Johnnie asks turning his chair towards you. You look over at him and shrug, "We just.." you laugh slightly, "It's not really funny, but we missed our dinner reservation."

He looks in the corner of his computer, "Oh fuck. I'm sorry." He looks up, "Why didn't you tell me?"

You scoff, raising your brows as you lower your voice, "I shouldn't have to."

"What? Sorry. I didn't quite hear you clearly." Johnnie closes his lap top and sets it on the desk.

You roll your eyes, lying back with a groan, "I'm not arguing with you Johnnie."

"I'm sorry, I must missed the part where I said we were?" He takes his headphones from around his neck,  setting them on top of his closed computer.

You sit up, letting out a sigh, "I said, I shouldn't have to tell you when we have plans, Johnnie." You let your hands fall into your lap with a slap, "I let it go for a while, only because I didn't think I have a right to be mad, but you constantly editing and this or that is effecting us."

"So what.. are you saying?" He stares at you with a solid look, "You're going to leave? All because I'm doing my fucking job?"

"No." Your words come out louder than you intended, "I never fucking said I was leaving, Johnnie. All I said was that I shouldn't have to fucking remind you time and time again that we have plans for us. You and me. Boyfriend and fucking girlfriend!"

"Other than right now, name one fucking time me doing this made us miss out on something." He motions for you to take the floor and you sigh.

"Sam and Colby were throwing a party, I told them you had a deadline to make so we wouldn't make it. Tara was throwing a party, I told her I didn't feel good because you stayed up all night and half the day working on a video. Last week we missed out on dinner, again, because you didn't pay attention to the time. Two weeks ago, Jake wanted us to go with him to one of his other friend's parties, but you decided to get on and stream. Do you want me to keep going?" You raise your brows and lean forward slightly, "Because I can."

Johnnie laughs, "So.. you're telling me that you couldn't just come to me an hour or so before and tell me to get off? You're just blaming me for every time you missed out on going when you could have just gone yourself?"

"You want me to go to dinner, for two..  alone?" You tilt your head back, "You are being so unbelievable right now."

You stand up and Johnnie's eyes follow you. Your hands go to your hips as you pace back and forth, "I'm trying to get you to understand that I want- I need time with you, too Johnnie."

"You get time with me, y/n. I don't understand why you're so worked up over me d-"

"Because it's all you fucking do Johnnie. You're always filming a video. Editing a video. Uploading a video. Something with a stupid video." You turn to face him, "I want to go out to dinner, enjoy time with just us. Do you think I want to go to parties alone? It's no fun when I don't have you there."

He sighs, looking down, "So.." he looks up at you, "You waited until it was what, twenty minutes or so after our reservation time to come in here and make a huge scene that could have been avoided?"

You laugh, mouth dropped open as you stare at him, "Are you ever going to actually listen to what I'm saying or am I just wasting my breath being a broken record?"

"I am listening, you're just not getting what I'm saying, y/n."

"No. Trust me. I get it. Loud and clear." You motion to his computer, "I'll just leave you to it then."

You turn to walk towards the door, reaching to open it but Johnnie's hand stops you, "Don't."

"Don't what? Leave so I can sit here in silence while you continue to do what got us here in the first place?" You turn your head to look at him and he shakes his head, "No."

He grabs your wrist, pulling you towards the bed, "Were done talking about this."

"No.. I don't think we a-"

He cuts you off with his lips on yours. His hands pull your waist into him, "We're done talking for right now."

"You can't ju-"

"Don't run your mouth anymore, and I won't run mine anymore." He kisses down your neck, "We can talk after we get all of this frustration out."

A smile creeps into your lips, even though you're still mad. But, no worries. Johnnie will take care of that for you right away.

"Fine." You give in, sitting down on the bed. You pull him with you, his body hovering over yours, "Shut me up."

He smirks, tilting his head, "Gladly." He sits up on his knees, taking off his shirt. His hands move to his belt and you sit up to replace his hands with your own.

You glance up at him as you undo his jeans, biting your lip as you anticipate what's about to happen.

He nods towards the floor and you pull your legs out from in between his and move, dropping to the floor as he stands up.

He pushes his jeans down, and you move over to him, pulling down his boxers before he sits down on the edge of the bed.

He leans back, holding his weight up with his hands as he watches you move in between his legs. He sucks in a sharp breath as you wrap your hand around his cock.

His eyes following you as you lean in, sticking your tongue out to lap at the head of it. He groans lowly, balling up the blanket in his fists, "Fuck."

You work him into your mouth, coating him with your spit as his jaw hangs slack, "That's it."

You lift your head, moving your hand up and down to coat him fully before leaning back in to bob your head up and down.

His eyes flutter shut as a moan escapes quietly.

You look up at him, dragging your tongue up the underside of his cock as you tilt your head back.

"All the way in, babe." Johnnie places a hand on the back of your head, gently nudging you to come back for more.

You lick your lips, leaning in to take his cock back into your mouth. You bob your head, working further and further down, until you can feel him in your throat.

He groans, stroking the back of your head as you hold yourself there. You squeeze your eyes shut, digging your nails into his thighs before you pop back off, glancing up at him before going back in.

You lift your head, bobbing your head slowly as your tongue flattens against his cock.

"Fuck. Why didn't we just do this first.." He gasps as you sink your head all the way onto him, groaning as bucks his hips slightly, "Fuck okay. Okay."

He lifts your head, cupping your cheeks as he nods to the bed, "Get undressed then lay down."

You move to your feet quickly, pulling your shirt over your head before fumbling to undo your pants. You kick them off, getting ready to climb onto the bed when Johnnie stops you.

"Ah, ah. Panties too, sweetheart."

You nod, pushing them down and kicking them off before finally climbing onto the bed. You turn, facing him as you sit down.

He moves up in front of you, leaning in to kiss your neck. He pushes your body back as he moves his over yours.

He kisses down your chest and over to your boob, taking your nipple between his teeth. You gasp as he bites down, hands moving to his hair to mess it up more, "J-Johnnie.."

You whine, slightly moving your hips, "Please."

He kisses back up, to your lips, moving to lay beside you. He rolls you over so you're laying on your side, hand sliding under your thigh to lift up your leg.

You bite your lip as his hand slides down your body, stopping at your clit to rub small circles onto it.

You arch your back away from his chest, "P-please."

He rests his chin against your head as he slides his fingers down to dip them inside of you, “We don’t need to argue.” His voice is light, quiet, “We should always just fuck it out..”

He slowly moves his fingers in and out, “And then talk. Doesn’t that sound much better?”

You nod, “Y-yeah. So much better.”

“That my girl.” He kisses your head and moves his hand to grab his cock, rubbing it against your pussy a few times before slowly slipping in, “Fuck.”

His arm slides over your waist, hold you to him as he pushes in. You tilt your head back and his lips meet your neck, sucking a spot which earns an even louder moan from you.

“Fuck..” you breathe out, “Johnnie..”

He groans lowly, tightening his grip as he starts to thrust. Your foot rests on his leg as you keep your leg raised, moaning with each of his thrusts.

You lay your hand on his arm, digging your nails in as his thrusts grow harder.

“F-fuck.” You whimper, “Keep going.”

He moans, digging his fingers into your skin, “You feel so fucking good.” He pulls you closer to him as you push your hips back, dragging your nails down his arm , “Yes, yes, yes!”

He pushed your body forward, sitting up and getting on his knees behind you. He pulls your hips up, quickly placing his cock back into you.

Your cheek rests against the bed as you moan, pulling the blanket as his thrusts go right back to being rough.

Your eyes roll back, a string of moans leaving your lips in a constant loudness.

You yelp out as his hand makes contact with your ass with a hard smack. He brings his leg up, giving his cock a new angle that drives you absolutely crazy.

“Such a good fucking girl.” He groans out as he tilts his head back. He brushes his hair from his face before reaching up to grab a handful of your hair.

You tilt your head back, lifting your self up onto your elbows, “F-fuck. Fuck.”

“Wait for me, baby.” Johnnie moans, “Almost there.”

He tugs your hair, pushing his cock all the way, pausing for a second before continuing to thrust, “Shit.”

He lets go of your hair, gripping your hips. You moan, trying hard not to cum like he wants. You push your hips back, whining out as he makes it harder, “P-please.”

Johnnie’s thrusts grow sloppy, “Cum for me.”

Not even the end of his words and you’ve already let go, becoming a whimpering, moaning mess under him as you squeeze his cock repeatedly.

A few seconds later, he pulls out, spilling his cum onto your lover back and ass.

“Fuck.” He strokes himself a few times before falling back and sitting down. You lay down, trying to control your breathing and he lays a hand on your thigh, “I’m sorry for not listening to you.”

“I’m sorry for coming off bitchy.” You laugh slightly, “I was just..” you pause for a second and sigh, “I let my frustration get the best of me.”

“I don’t blame you. I haven’t been fully with us lately, and I promise that..” he taps your leg with each word, “..right now, you have my attention whenever you want it.”

You turn your head to look at him, “You promise?” You hold out your pinky and he smiles as he wraps his around yours, “I promise.”

As Johnnie gets up to get something to wipe off with, Jake yells from the other side of door, “y/n? Do you need a hippopotamus?”

Johnnie looks at you super confused and you can’t help but laugh, “I’ll explain then.”

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

This is my first ever Johnnie one shot, so please let me know how you liked it! I’m interested to hear what you have to say!

Thank you for reading! Love you all! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[i-love-fordsy]

Bill, say a swear word >:3

Fuck you

A

Arsehole

Asshat

Asshole

B

Bastard (slang)

Big black cock

Bitch (slang)

Bloody

Blowjob

Bollocks

Bugger

Bullshit

C

Chicken shit

Clusterfuck

Cock (slang)

Cocksucker

Coonass

Cornhole (slang)

Cox–Zucker machine

Cracker (term)

Cunt

D

Damn

Dick (slang)

E

Enshittification

F

Faggot

Feck

List of films that most frequently use the word fuck

Fuck

Fuck her right in the pussy

Fuck Joe Biden

Fuck, marry, kill

Fuckery

G

Grab 'em by the pussy

H

Healslut

J

Jesus fucking christ

K

Kike

M

Motherfucker

P

Paki (slur)

Poof

Poofter

Prick (slang)

Pussy

R

Ratfucking

Retard (pejorative)

Russian warship, go fuck yourself

S

Shit

Shit happens

Shithouse

Shitposting

Shitter

Shut the fuck up

Shut the hell up

Slut

Son of a bitch

Spic

T

Taking the piss

Twat

U

Unclefucker

W

Wanker

Whore

[butmakeitgayblog]

Ok I need to talk about this thing because nobody is saying anything about it and I can't understand how: you know the first episode when Agatha is still under Wanda's spell and she is talking about the case with Rio sitting on the sofa? When they are drinking beer and eating pizza?

And Rio has that white shirt and those "belts" that go under the armpits for the guns?

Can we talk about how hot is Aubrey Plaza in that outfit? Because Jesus Christ on a cracker, she is H O T.

I'm holding your hand so gently when say that I have no idea what edge of the internet you're on that has shielded you from the very loud community of thirsty lesbians and sapphics who have been verbally throwing their entire ass at this woman in this outfit specifically

(Also for reference, they're called shoulder holsters and I am officially voting for women to start using those instead of purses just for the aesthetic alone 💕🗳)

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Rating xtian sayings I've heard countless times:

"Christ on a cracker!"

Why is christ on a cracker. 5/10 (would be 10/10 if it wasn't currently pesach)

"Jesus H. Christ!"

Nobody's ever told me what the H stands for. What is his government name, g-d 🤨 7/10

"Body piercings saved our souls"

What would jesus think about people joking about his violent death? Do you think he has a sense of humor, because this is actually kind of funny 6/10

"Be careful or you'll be talked about in the next sermon"

Is church service one big gossip session? Are we going to have a pillow fight after, or maybe Truth or Dare? Am I invited? Are there going to be snacks that aren't the body of christ? 5.4/10

"Bless your heart..."

Whatever follows is a passive-agressive reminder you just purchased a one-way ticket straight to hell (no take-backs). Say it with your chest next time. 1/10

[chungledown-bimothy]

Top 5 Brennan npc's

oh jesus h christ on a cracker. there have been so many incredible ones, i'm sure if asked again later it would likely be a different list. but off the top of my head right now?

1- caramelinda rocks

2- calroy cruller

3- bud cubby

4- steel (wwwo)

5- chungledown bim

if the fox from wwwo counts, he replaces bud cubby.

[scoops-aboy86]

what would Steddie be like wine tasting?

Okay okay okay, I am totally tipsy wine tasting myself and I love getting asks I LOVE GETTING ASKS

So imma try and answer this all in one go. 

Steve has been around wine his whole life via his parents and knows all about wine tasting

He learned to walk in a tasting room and as a child viewed them as the best place to get free saltines or crunch bread sticks.

So he deffo has a wine snob side even though his actual wine knowledge is fairly superficial 

He is okay at food pairings but mostly because he remembers to ask in tasting rooms and then remembers the answers, rather than being able to rely on his own palate 

Eddie doesn’t know the difference between fine wine and two buck chuck, he would drink either out of a jam jar with ice on a hot summer’s day, it makes Steve threaten to weep sometimes

Mostly Eddie is there for the snacks, boy can power his way through a charcuterie board or two like nobody’s business, he doesn’t really get wine but he is a garbage disposal during these outings he will consume anything you give him

He tries to keep pouring himself water, and he is pretty good about it but sometimes he loses track 

They keep having to ask for more charcuterie boards because inevitably he finished off something on the plate (again) before Steve could try some and Steve is a stickler for trying a bite of everything with each pour (even though if pressed he would not be able to tell you the difference beyond “I liked this better than that”

Steve: “I like this one better than that last pour.” Eddie: “I don’t remember the last pour. This tastes a little like apple juice.”

Eddie ends up sunburnt, drunk, and full; he can handle his beer or spirits but there is something about wine that genuinely knocks him on his ass every time

He wants to be present, for Steve, but he’s so tipsy and extra-easily distracted

Eddie: “How many more pours, is this the last one?” Steve: “There’s one more.” Eddie: “Oh Jesus H Christ, I’m going to die.”

He tries to pour himself a glass of water and misses, Steve has to help him

Steve ends up with a tan, because nothing can burn that guy short of literally visiting the sun

Steve is fine to drive, officer (no he really is, his metabolism is crazy and he’s guzzling water as we speak, he is genuinely fine and a very responsible driver)

Eddie can’t feel his face and wants McDonalds

In this moment I am both Steve (re: tasting room upbringing, omg what if his parents are in marketing and/or events in the wine industry) and Eddie (cannot feel my face, need more crackers or maybe a sandwich to soak this up jfc, my partner is like “Just eat more crackers” right now 😂).

[buttercup-art]

this isn’t a real meme i literally just made it instead of writing a full meta on how levi talks + how that might translate into english.  feel free to steal it if you want this is just my way of feigning activity.

COMPLEXITY IN  →

 ᵛᵒᶜᵃᵇᵘˡᵃʳʸ : ◼ ◼ ◼ ◼ ◻

 ᵉᵐᵒᵗᶦᵒⁿ : ◼ ◼ ◻ ◻ ◻    

 ˢᵉⁿᵗᵉⁿᶜᵉ ˢᵗʳᵘᶜᵗᵘʳᵉ : ◼ ◼ ◼ ◼ ◻

PROFANITY  →

 (English)

ᶠʳᵉᵠᵘᵉⁿᶜʸ : ◼ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻

 ᶜʳᵉᵃᵗᶦᵛᶦᵗʸ : ◼ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻

 ʷᵃᵗᶜʰᶠᵘˡⁿᵉˢˢ : ◼ ◼ ◼ ◼ ◻

(French)

ᶠʳᵉᵠᵘᵉⁿᶜʸ : ◼ ◼ ◼ ◻ ◻

 ᶜʳᵉᵃᵗᶦᵛᶦᵗʸ : ◼ ◼ ◼ ◻ ◻

 ʷᵃᵗᶜʰᶠᵘˡⁿᵉˢˢ : ◼ ◻ ◻ ◻ ◻

( bold all that apply ) : arse.   ass.   asshole.   bastard.   bitch.   bloody.   bugger.   bollocks.   chicken shit.  crap.   cunt.   dick.   frick.   fuck.   horseshit.   motherfucker.   piss.   prick.   screw.   shit.   shitass.   son of a bitch.   son of a motherless goat.   son of a whore.   twat.   wanker.

( given proper religious context ) :  christ on a bike.   christ on a cracker.   damn.   goddamn.   godsdamn.   hell.   holy shit.   jesus.   jesus christ.   jesus h. christ.   jesus, mary and joseph.   sweet jesus.

THIS OR THAT  →

contractions or enunciation ?   straightforward or cryptic ?   jargon or toned ? complexity or simplicity ?   finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind ?  masculinity, neutrality, or femininity ?   formalities or abrasiveness ?   insult or injury ?  praise or equivocation ?   frankness or lies ?   excessive or minimal hand gestures ?   name calling or magnanimity ?  friendly or blunt nicknames ?

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS  →

do people have a hard time understanding or hearing your character ?   almost always  /  frequently / sometimes  /  rarely  /  never (depends on whether not that person also knows French whenever she uses it)

does your character’s point come across easily when they speak ?   almost always /  frequently  /  sometimes  /  rarely  /  never

would your character initiate conversations ?   almost always  / frequently  /  sometimes /  rarely  /  never

would your character be the one to end conversations ?   almost always  /  frequently /  sometimes  /  rarely  /  never

would your character use ‘whom’ in a sentence ?   yes  / no /  only ironically

your character wants to make a counterpoint. what word do they use ?  but  /  though  /although  /  however  / perhaps  /  mayhaps

how would your character pick up the phone ?   hello   /  hey  /  hi  /  yellow  /  yo  /  yeah  /  [name].  /  what’s up  / who is this  / what do you want

how does your character end conversations ?   walk away  /  ask if that’s everything   / say that that’s everything  /  give a proper goodbye  /   tell their company they’re done here  /  remain quiet  /  they don’t

how does your character address others ?   titles   / first names /  surnames  /  full names  /  nicknames (or insults)

what social class would others assume your character belongs to, hearing them speak ? upper /  middle  /  lower

in what ways does the way your character speak stand out to others ?   accent   / vocabulary  /  tone /  level /  politeness  /  brusqueness  /  it doesn’t

tagging: Anyone who wants to!

Stolen from: @hyperionhugo

[smg6-the-memer]

arse arsehead arsehole ass ass hole asshole bastard bitch bloody bollocks brotherfucker bugger bullshit child-fucker Christ on a bike Christ on a cracker cock cocksucker crap cunt dammit damn damned damn it dick dick-head dickhead dumb ass dumb-ass dumbass dyke faggot father-fucker fatherfucker fuck fucker fucking god dammit goddammit God damn god damn goddamn Goddamn goddamned goddamnit godsdamn hell holy shit horseshit I in shit jackarse jack-ass jackass Jesus Christ Jesus fuck Jesus Harold Christ Jesus H. Christ Jesus, Mary and Joseph Jesus wept kike mother fucker mother-fucker motherfucker nigga nigra pigfucker piss prick pussy shit shit ass shite sibling fucker sisterfuck sisterfucker slut son of a bitch son of a whore spastic sweet Jesus twat wanker

[thuganomxcs]

*   CHARACTER STUDY CHART

𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐂𝐇

# 𝙾𝙵 𝚂𝙿𝙾𝙺𝙴𝙽 𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙶𝚄𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚂:   1    /    2    /   3+ 𝚃𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝚅𝙾𝙸𝙲𝙴:     high    /    average   /  deep 𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙴𝙽𝚃:   yes /   soft /    no 𝙳𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙰𝙽𝙾𝚁:   confident   /   shy   /   approachable    /   hostile   /   other 𝙿𝙾𝚂𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴:   slumped/   straight /   stiff  /   relaxed 𝙷𝙰𝙱𝙸𝚃𝚂:     head tilting /    swaying /    fidgeting/   stuttering  /    gesturing /  arm crossing   /   strokes chin   /   er, um, or other interjections    /   plays with hair   /   clothing    /    hands at hips   /   inconsistent eye contact    /   maintains eye contact    /    frequent pausing   /  stands close /   stands at distance /  hands in pockets

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐈𝐓𝐘

𝚅𝙾𝙲𝙰𝙱𝚄𝙻𝙰𝚁𝚈:     ◼◼◼◼◼

𝙼𝙾𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽:     ◼◼◼◼◼

𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝚁𝚄𝙲𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴:     ◼◼◼◼◼

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘

𝙵𝚁𝙴𝚀𝚄𝙴𝙽𝙲𝚈:     ◼◼◼◼◼

C𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙸𝚅𝙸𝚃𝚈:    ◼◼◼◼◼

𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐘.   arse.   ass.   asshole.   bastard.    bitch.   bloody.   bugger.   bollocks.    chicken shit.   crap.    cunt.   dick.    frick.   fuck.   horseshit.   motherfucker.    piss.    prick.    screw.    shit.   shitass.    son of a bitch.   twat.    wanker.    pussy. 

𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓.   christ on a bike.  christ on a cracker.   damn.    goddamn. godsdamn.   hell.   holy shit.   jesus.    jesus christ.   jesus h christ.   jesus h.roosevelt christ.    lord have mercy.   jesus, mary and joseph.   sweet jesus.  seven hells.

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓?     contractions or enunciation ?   straightforward or cryptic ?   jargon or toned ?    complexity or simplicity ?   finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind ?   masculinity, neutrality, or femininity ?    formalities or abrasiveness?  praise or equivocation ?   frankness or lies ?   excessive or minimal hand gestures ? name-calling or magnanimity ?   friendly or blunt nicknames ?

𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

𝙳𝙾 𝙿𝙴𝙾𝙿𝙻𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙰 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙳 𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝚁 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 ? almost always    /    frequently  /  sometimes   /   rarely /    never

𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁’𝚂 𝙿𝙾𝙸𝙽𝚃 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝙰𝙲𝚁𝙾𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙸𝙻𝚈 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙰𝙺?  almost always    /    frequently   /    sometimes    /    rarely    /    never

𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙸𝙽𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂 ?    almost always/   frequently  /   sometimes  /    rarely    /    never

𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂 ? almost always    /   frequently  /    sometimes/    rarely    /    never

𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚄𝚂𝙴 ‘𝚆𝙷𝙾𝙼’ 𝙸𝙽 𝙰 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 ? yes   /   no    /    only ironically

𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝚂 𝚃𝙾 𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙰 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙿𝙾𝙸𝙽𝚃. 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝙳𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚄𝚂𝙴?  but    /   though    /   although   /   however  /    perhaps   /    mayhaps

𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂 ? walk away    /   ask if that’s everything    /    say that that’s everything    /   give a proper goodbye  /   tell their company they’re done here  /   remain quiet  /    they don’t

𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝙳𝙳𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂 ?  titles    /   first names   /   surnames /    full names/   nicknames

𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝙻 𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙰𝚂𝚂𝚄𝙼𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶𝚂 𝚃𝙾, 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼 𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙰𝙺 ? upper  /    middle    /  working/    lower

𝙸𝙽 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚈 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙰𝙺 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂 ?  accent /   vocabulary    /   tone   /    level    /   politeness   /   brusqueness    /    it doesn’t

tagged: @foolshoujo (thanks for tagging yo boy)

tagging: @universestreasures (mokuba), @infintasmal (botan), @monmuses (yuri), @ofhope (miya), @belovedblossoms (mitsuri), @acoldsovereign , @hopefromadoomedtimeline , @eternalbxtterfly , @adversitybloomed , @thawingiceprincess , @chibitantei , steal it homies