#Jaskier&Lambert

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Okay so after the mountain breakup and makeup, jaskier has a new horse. He super excited to introduce Geralt “horse girl” Riviera to his sweetheart of a horse, Pegasus. He talk about how well mannered and precious his horse is; and how he just had to buy him off of his old owners who didn’t treat him right — “ I mean they didn’t even give him apples, Geralt, who does that?? —

Geralt is expecting a dainty normal horse, maybe with ribbons in his hair, like his owner. But they get to the stables and jaskier skips over to this behemoth of a war horse. (I’m thinking like a shire horse type breed).

Jaskier is just absolutely besotted with the “sweetheart” and Geralt is petrified. This horse is bigger than roach. It’s glaring at Geralt with the rage of hellfire. Geralt is like 57% sure it’s a hell horse.

It’s also super protective of jaskier and it hates Geralt. Pegasus is always moving in between the two and when Jaskier starts giving Geralt attention Pegasus whines and Jaskier will go back to him.

Geralt is not jealous no matter what anyone says. He tries to tell Jaskier about how his demon horse keeps glaring at him and bumping him off the road. But everytime he tries to point it out Pegasus has the most innocent look on his face.

It would be so funny to see a horse and a Witcher try and fight for Jaskier attention

[ruthesla]

I decided to make some comic strips about them

[thedemonofcat]

The truth was that Jaskier was the result of a child's surprise. Surprisingly, his grateful parents discovered that the witcher who claimed him never returned to collect.

Years later, at Kaer Morhen, everyone is shocked to learn that it was Lambert—drunk at the time—who had invoked the law of surprise.

Now, Lambert is taken quite seriously as Jaskier’s "Papa," and he’s constantly angry with Geralt. His words are clear: "You’re no good for my child," or "Never speak to me or my son again."

No matter how many times Jaskier insists that Lambert isn’t his father, it makes no difference.

[0dde11eth]

Jaskier: 5000 gold coins for my arrest? I might turn myself in for that kind of loot

Lambert: do it. I'll break you out after and we can split the coin

Jaskier: deal!

*** 2 towns away where geralt is on a hunt***

Geralt: uh oh, jaskier and Lambert are up to something stupid

[batbusiness-schooldropout]

Lambert: I think Geralt should be celibate from now on

Vesemir: Why are you concerned about Geralt's sex life?

Lambert: He's a crazy magnet. Wanting Geralt is a red flag. Name one person he's slept with who isn't nuts

Eskel: Jaskier?

Lambert: Look me in my eyes and tell me that little grackle wouldn't commit regicide if he thought he could get away with it

[ladycibia]

please give Chibi Geralt a very strong and warm hug, he is so precious 🙏❤❤

Will do. 💖

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 71

The other witchers at Kaer Morhen have always grown tired of Geralt's random moodswings and bouts of gloom and grumpiness during the winter. He'd be happy and carefree, safe in his home, and then some dark thought would crest in his mind, and for a few days straight, he'd be in a horrible mood. When one year he brings his bard with him, they realize the moodswings have disappeared completely. That is, until Jaskier starts trying to "bond" with them all and spends less time with Geralt. Then all of a sudden the snarls and snaps from Geralt are back. One day, Lambert gets tired of Geralt's sass, and shoves Jaskier at him, and they're all amazed when Geralt loses his bad mood and instead chooses to carry his bard off to cuddle in front of the fireplace. Nuzzling him and purring the whole time. Thus commences a new rule of Kaer Morhen. If you spot Geralt being pissy, you chuck the bard at him. Jaskier has been taken away from a meal, a game of gwent, his chores, his bed while asleep, and one especially embarrassing time he was taken from a bath. Jaskier is quite alright with the new rule, as it always ends in deligthtful Geralt cuddles, but sometimes he wishes Geralt would just find Jaskier instead of moping when he misses him.

[geraltgwynbleidd]

Nothing unusual. Just Dandelion being Dandelion and Geralt being Lambert!

[anyanp]

Someone is jealous :)

[fandom-junk-drawer]

What Jaskier sees daily as he wanders the grounds of Kaer Morhen

(Vesemir is crying in a corner somewhere because his sons are idiots)

[thedemonofcat]

A contract calls for the return of Viscount Julian Alfred Pankratz to Lettenhove. Seeing an easy payday, Lambert and Aiden take the job without a second thought.

A few days after delivering the so-called "Little Lordling" back to his family, they make a startling realization—Julian is none other than Jaskier, Geralt’s bard.

Now, if they want to avoid the Witcher’s wrath for losing his bard, they’ll have to find a way to rescue Jaskier from the mess they unknowingly threw him into.

[0dde11eth]

Poor vesemir, he tries to give his pups life lessons beyond being a witcher, but this is the kaer MORONS we are talking about. The following occurs when they are all trying to make dinner one evening.

Papa vesemir: ok boys familiarize yourself with the spices, these can make walking the path a little nicer, as you can look forward to a delicious meal at the end of a rough day

So they go over to the spice rack to read the labels.

Eskel: basil, oregano, cilantro (yuck), coriander, thyme, paprika...

Geralt: hmm, ground pepper, sounds spicy. Hmm, not sure I like the sound of garlic, seems spicier...

Lambert: cinnamon, nutmeg. Cum? DRIED CUM!?!?!

Eskel: what?? Cum?? Is this a prank??

Geralt: did jaskier put you up to this??

Lambert: I'm not fucking eating dried cum!!!

Papa vesemir: Its CUMIN YOU IDIOTS. that's it! Everyone out of my kitchen and go run the walls, everyones getting plain boiled potatoes for the rest of the week!

Geralt: yay! Finally some good food!

Papa Vesemir: OUT!!!

Jaskier (in the background): *dumping a mouthful of the dried "cum" in his mouth and then gagging* that's NOT CUM!

Papa vesemir: *internally* I bet guxart doesn't have this problem with the cat witchers

*** across the continent at the cat caravan***

Aiden: *gagging* that's NOT CUM!

Guxart: *internally* I bet vesemir doesn't have this problem with the wolf witchers

[angelellipsis-devilofdots]

we got it guys

[tielmamon]

Fell inlove with Paul Bullion's Lambert so its only fair that Jaskier does too 🧡

Geralt isnt a fan tho

[rurutts]

Really miss reading mid to long Fanfics but I feel like I've reached the end with all my fave fandoms/ships ugh

Does anyone else get this lol

Maybe my interests are too niche or smthing but I swear I've read everything 😭

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Jaskier has taken to saying “Geralt’s bloody tits”.

It was a joke at first, but it’s become an actual habitual phrase for him. Geralt’s also become desensitized to it (when you hear “Geralt’s bloody tits, it’s cold out!” 50 times in an hour, you get numb to the phrase).

And then Jaskier says it unthinkingly in front of Geralt’s brothers.

Eskel's horrified but Lambert so takes to using it, you just know he does