#Jared wrath

[tawnyisacolor]

Everyone knows I’m a blessthefall girlie but words can not express how good it was to see the bones crew boys back at it just as hype as ever celebrating 10 years of Hollow Bodies 🥲 please appreciate my attempt of recreation of the cutest photo of us 10 years ago right before Hollow Bodies released! (missing Eric and Matt because they were busy doing dad things)

[decemberthe7th]

el rana

[sampegger]

fucked up asshole my friend got me as a joke a few days ago that stinks up my car

[youcouldmakealife]

KS Fill: Gabe/Stephen; not on the list

For the prompt: I would say Gabe and Stephen’s wedding because I want that more than anything in the world, but I suspect that’s coming without my prompt? But if it’s not… 

It would come either way, probably, but this started the ball rolling.

More Gabe and Stephen, more lists. No actual wedding, but we get pretty damn adjacent.

Gabe knew the list would backfire the moment Stephen started making it. He even told Stephen as much, but Stephen just shrugged a shoulder and kept working on it. He got into it as it grew too, enjoying it so much that Gabe told himself he was probably worrying about nothing.

And maybe the list wouldn’t have been a problem if the only person he’d told about it was Gabe. Probably would have been fine even if knowledge of it extended to the Marksons and Petersens, which happened sooner rather than later.

But telling Gabe’s teammates — that was a mistake.

“A what list?” Jared asks when Stephen first mentions it.

“An anti-wedding list,” Stephen says.

Bryce sits up. “You guys aren’t getting married?”

From this angle, Gabe can’t see how withering the look Stephen gives Bryce is, but the kick Jared aims at his ankle is probably related.

“Obviously we’re getting married,” Stephen says, like he wasn’t panicking for a good few days after they got engaged, and only the potential wrath of Miriam Markson kept him from fleeing on the next flight out of Vancouver. “It’s a list of shit we don’t want at our wedding.”

“Um,” Bryce says.

“You know,” Stephen says. “The wedding traditions we’re vetoing.”

“We is such a strong word,” Gabe says.

“Unanimous approval or none at all, Gabriel,” Stephen says. "A veto only needs one."

He's right. And Gabe guesses he would know, consdiering he's the one vetoing everything.

“So wait, what exactly are you vetoing?” Jared says.

“Nobody’s wearing white,” Stephen says, starting to tick items off on his fingers. “I mean, white dress shirts are fine, obviously, but nobody’s a virgin here, we’re not doing any all in white shit. No flower girls or ring bearers. No little groom cake toppers. Fuck knows there aren’t going to be any garters involved. I don’t remember the rest off the top of my head, but I have it all written down."

“I like the little grooms,” Bryce says, sounding hurt. Gabe hasn’t seen any pictures from Bryce and Jared’s wedding, since it was very much on the down-low — and he truly wishes he could see how those two managed to put together a wedding on the sly when they couldn't even sit across from each other without Gabe figuring out they were married — but he bets there were little grooms on top of their cake. He also bets Bryce still has those little dudes hanging around somewhere.

“Can I see the list?” Jared asks. “I’m kind of curious how many our wedding had.”

“Sure,” Stephen says, with a hand wave. “I’ll email it to you when I’m finished. Have a few more items to add first.”

“Cool,” Jared says.

After Bryce and Jared leave, Gabe mentions it might not be a good idea to send Jared the list, but Stephen just scoffs.

“What’s he going to do?” Stephen says. “Wear white to my wedding? Put little grooms on his piece of cake? He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s not going to anything that actually fucks with the day, he’s not Dmitry.”

“Our wedding,” Gabe says.

“Oh come on, you already know what’s mine is yours,” Stephen says.

“You stabbed me with a chopstick over the last soup dumpling last night,” Gabe says.

“Stop saying I stabbed you,” Stephen says. “I didn’t even break the skin.”

“It hurt,” Gabe says, and Stephen takes his hand, planting an officious kiss on the back of it.

“Better?” Stephen asks.

“It was the other hand,” Gabe says, smiling when Stephen sighs dramatically before kissing it too.

“You’re really going to give Math that list?” Gabe says. “Blind trust isn’t usually your thing.”

“Oh, I’m sure it’ll lead to something hideous,” Stephen says. “But think of it this way: your idiot teammates are going to do something, so I may as well give them some parameters.”

“Huh,” Gabe says. “Good point.”

“I’m not exactly new to this, you know,” Stephen says.

“No, I know,” Gabe says.

At least whatever it is that’s coming, it won’t come out of the blue.

~

Gabe did not foresee this. Sure, when he gave Stevie and Dima and Bullet bachelor party planning rights he anticipated some variety of disaster, but he underestimated them, he thinks. Or overestimated them. There was some mis-estimation occurring.

He looks around. What initially looked like chaos seems oddly recognisable. Almost familiar.

It’s sort of wedding themed, which makes sense, considering the occasion, but everything’s slightly off, and not just because they’re in a venue more suited to clubbing than matrimony.

His eyes land on the big cake at the centre of everything. It looks more like the kind Gabe saw at Cup celebrations than a wedding one, decorated to look like a rink, with two little figures at centre ice. He’s too far to see the details, but he’s pretty sure they’re hockey figurines rather than grooms, and someone has decided to use the manipulable joints for, well, evil probably isn’t the right word, but maybe immaturity — Gabe’s pretty sure one of them is straddling the other. He guesses he should just be grateful no mounting is taking place, considering Dima’s probably the responsible party.

There are so many elements, and they don’t seem to fit together at all — elegant baskets of flowers that look almost painstakingly put together, surrounded by a scatter of rainbow confetti that feels like it's moonlighting from a completely different event. Some kind of crooner — Bublé? — playing, also from a completely different event. None of it seems to fit Gabe's picture of a bachelor party planned and attended by hockey players, even if the wives and girlfriends present also got involved in the planning.

It’s the guests themselves that help Gabe put it together. There was clearly a dress code, one that only Gabe and Stephen weren’t informed about, everyone all in white, neon bright under the black light. Like an item of a list come to life. Like one of many items of a list come to life.

He can see Stephen put it together a mere moment after he does, his eyes narrowing, mouth going flat. Playing at unimpressed for the — many — eyes currently on them, avidly waiting for a reaction.

“I’m going to fucking kill Jared,” Stephen says, and Gabe decides not to tell him just how proud he sounds.

“I wonder which one of the Canucks is wearing the garter,” Gabe says, and grins when Stephen forgets his audience and his composure for a moment, throwing his head back with a laugh.

[impala-dreamer]

Trouble On Set

A Short Story

~Jensen and Jared have a habit of messing with costars, but what happens when one of them fights back?~

Jensen x Reader (ish), Misha, Jared / Dean x Carrie, Sam, Castiel

2,963 Words

Warnings: Pranks and Drama and Adult Behavior. Fluff.

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works

Dean raised his hand once more, ready to strike, and Carrie cringed in fear, shrinking down into a tiny thing, like a flower retreating from the frost.

“Please, don’t!” Her voice was weak and trembling just like her fragile frame. Blood trickled down from the cut on her lip, bruises blossomed beneath her smooth skin.

Dean froze, his fist hovering in the air above his head. He caught his breath and crumbled inside, green eyes going wide with sadness. “I- I didn’t mean to…”

Sam rushed past his brother, nearly knocking him to the side as he fell to his knees to check on Carrie. She lunged forward into his big arms, finding a bit of comfort as they wrapped tight around her.

“It’s OK,” he whispered, “I got you.”

She looked up from Sam’s shoulder to Dean, her eyes huge with shock and betrayal. “Dean, I-”

A loud, blistering pop of air ripped through the room, accompanied by a rotten smell so foul that Carrie could not hold back her disgust.

“Dean, I- I-” The smell permeated her senses and her gag reflex activated. “Oh god-”

Jared laughed, his giant body shaking, still wrapped around Y/N. She gagged loudly and tried to pry herself out of his grasp.

“Cut!”

“Oh my god!” Y/N held her breath and shoved at Jared’s chest, finally pushing him away.

Above them, Jensen looked down with a wicked smile. “Jesus, dude, what’d you eat!” He waved a hand in front of his face as the smell finally reached him.

“You’re disgusting,” Misha added, standing off to the side on his mark. “So gross.”

Jared stood up and shrugged as he adjusted his jeans, yanking them up back into place. “Hey! Shit happens!”

Jensen burst into a loud cackle that bent him clean in half. “Did you shit yourself?”

Y/N tried to stay calm, keep herself professional, but the smell seemed to be getting worse. “Wow.”

“Think something died in your ass, dude,” Jensen went on, hands on his knees as he laughed.

Jared took it all in like he was winning an award, smile beaming as the crew reset.

“OK! Settle! Let’s go again.”

Dean raised his fist high, his jaw twitching with anger.

Carrie shrank down and away, terrified and aching from his previous blow. “Please, don’t!” Her voice trembled, her hand shot up to hide her face from his wrath.

Dean froze, his fingers unfurling as he looked down at her, pain and sadness filling his freckled face. “I- I didn’t mean to…”

Carrie stared up at him, tears flooding her pretty eyes.

Jensen licked his lips slowly, seductively, and raised an eyebrow at Y/N.

Sam rushed past Dean and dropped down to his knees next to Carrie. She fell forward into his big arms as her breath became labored with heavy sobs.

“It’s OK,” he whispered, “I got you.”

Jensen bared his teeth and ran the tip of his tongue across the edges, licking his chops like a wolf as he stared at her.

Carrie looked up from Sam’s shoulder and a tear fell from her eye. “Dean, I-”

Again, Jensen used his tongue, this time flickering it quickly between his teeth, then rolling it suggestively. He smirked as Y/N shivered, distracted by his movements.

“Dean, I-”

Another slow, long roll of his tongue.

“I, uh…”

“Cut!”

Jared leapt to his feet and went over to Jensen, continuing a conversation from before the first take. Misha pulled out his phone, and Y/N simply stayed on the dirty studio floor, wiping real tears from her face with the hem of her shirt.

“You OK?”

Blue eyes were wide with genuine concern, but Y/N waved Misha off. “I’m fine. Thank you.” Her smile was weak but managed to help calm her frustration.

“OK, people. Let’s go again! Take ten…”

And so it went.

After five days of filming the first of her seven episode run, Y/N had messed up nearly every shot she was in, whether by design or fear of having it ruined. Jared and Jensen were terribly wicked, making her break constantly, tripping her, making faces at each other or her, farting- it was almost unmanageable. Through it all, Y/N tried her best to stay calm and keep going. It was a huge thing- landing a spot on such a great show, but she didn’t know if she could do it for much longer. The frustration was boiling up inside of her, and- not to mention- she felt unwanted and severely disliked. Everyone always talked about how nice Ackles and Padalecki were to guest stars, how playful and loving the set was, how the cast and crew were like family. Y/N sure as hell wasn’t feeling like family. More like the black sheep no one wanted to talk about. Or to.

Dean raised his hand once more, ready to strike, and Carrie cringed in fear, shrinking down into a tiny thing, like a flower retreating from the frost.

“Please, don’t!” Her voice was weak and trembling just like her fragile frame. Blood trickled down from the cut on her lip, bruises blossomed beneath her smooth skin.

Dean froze, his fist hovering in the air above his head. He caught his breath and crumbled inside, green eyes going wide with sadness. “I- I didn’t mean to…”

Sam rushed past his brother, nearly knocking him to the side as he fell to his knees to check on Carrie. She lunged forward into his big arms, finding a bit of comfort as they wrapped tight around her.

“It’s OK,” he whispered, “I got you.”

She looked up from Sam’s shoulder to Dean, her eyes huge with shock and betrayal. “Dean, I-”

Jensen looked up at the ceiling, refusing to meet her gaze. He puckered his lips as if whistling, completely ignoring her.

“Dean-”

He tongued his cheek and sighed, seemingly annoyed by her acting.

“I… um…”

Y/N cleared her throat and grit her teeth, determined to make it through the take.

“Dean- I’m so sorry.” Carrie let loose a stream of loud tears, pouring them into Sam’s shoulder. “I’m sorry!”

“And...cut! We got it. That’s dinner, people.”

Y/N stepped out into the cold Vancouver night, totally uninterested in dinner or anything other than collapsing into her bed back at the hotel. She needed a shower, a drink, and a call back home to her best friend. The job she’d been looking forward to for weeks had turned out to be a nightmare.

Finally alone, she closed her eyes and lifted them towards the dark sky, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. Things were not what they had seemed.

Boots echoed behind her and Y/N startled, turning to see Jensen walking towards her, a kind smile upon his plump lips.

“Hey.” He stopped a few feet away and tucked his hands into his pockets, rocking back on his heels nervously.

Y/N’s anxiety spiked and her stomach tightened. “Hey.”

He licked his bottom lip slowly, green eyes flashing over her face. “Great job today. Made it through that scene nicely.”

Confused, Y/N swallowed down her annoyance and nodded. “Thanks. You too.”

“It’s not easy to cry like that,” he complimented, voice smooth and sweet. “I’m impressed.”

Her eyes narrowed on him, not sure what was going on. “Thanks?”

“Really,” he pushed with a smile, the apples of his cheeks burning pink under the lot lights. “You did great.”

Y/N couldn’t respond; her thoughts twisted in utter confusion. She stared at Jensen as if he were some alien being sent to drive her insane.

He tipped back on his boot heels and took a deep breath, prepping for something. He cleared his throat and locked his knees. “So anyway… I was wondering if you… wanted to come get a drink with me? We’re pretty much done for the day. I think they’re just reshooting Jared’s scene with Misha next, so you and I could sneak away.” He held his breath and dug his front teeth hard into his bottom lip, waiting for her answer.

It was not what he expected.

Y/N’s jaw dropped and she blinked furiously at him, stunned. “Excuse me?”

Jensen laughed timidly. “There’s a bar we like to go to downtown. We can… go hang out? Get a buzz on?” He shrugged and smiled.

Y/N snapped. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

He jolted. “What?”

“I said, are you fucking kidding me?” she spat, turning towards him with rage pulsing from her form. Jensen took a step back but she came closer. “You… you have been fucking with me all fucking week!” Her voice echoed down the alleyway, giant metal buildings amplifying her rage like a blow horn. “You’re so mean! You… you and Jared have been fucking up every take for me! You tripped me twice, I slammed into a wall yesterday; you’re making disgusting remarks and faces at me while I’m trying to cry. You’re ruining this for me!”

Jensen’s hands lifted from his pockets to surrender, his palms facing her in the dark. “Whoa. It’s not… we’re not-”

“You’re not? You’re not! You’re gonna get me fired! Do you even care about anyone but yourself? This is a huge deal for me and you’re going to ruin it. I’m gonna get fired because you can’t keep be fucking professional and Jared can’t stop eating burritos for lunch!” Y/N caught herself, gasping for a breath while her pulse raged in her ears. “Fuck!”

Jensen shook his head in shock and lowered his hands. “Y/N, it’s… really not what you think. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re sorry? Oh, he’s sorry!” She spun around, telling the world. “He’s sorry he’s going to get me fired, everyone! Jensen Ackles is sorry! That makes it all better!”

He stood, dumbfounded and guilty, his shoulders falling low, his eyes filling with hurt. “Wow. I’m… really sorry.”

Y/N took a deep, shaking breath and turned her eyes away, not wanting him to see her cry. “Yeah. Thanks for the apology.” She crossed her arms and spun on her heel, turning her back on him. “Think I’ll pass on drinks.”

Jensen tried to say something, to find some way to smooth things over, but his voice died in the back of his throat, his mind empty and unsure. “Yeah,” he mumbled, backing away. “OK.”

She heard him walk away and she did the same, stalking towards the parking lot.

From the shadows, a dark figure emerged, black hair a mess, trenchcoat flapping gently in the breeze.

“You know he’s just fucking with you.”

Misha’s voice called to her and Y/N turned to see him leaning against the corner of the building, clearly having heard and seen everything.

“You usually lurk in the shadows like that?”

He laughed and shrugged. “No, but I’m usually in the right place at the right time.”

Y/N shook her head. “Not me. I’m clearly in the wrong place, wrong time, wrong profession.”

Misha pushed himself away from the wall. “Nah. You were really good today.”

“Was I?” she snit, sarcasm coating every inch of her. “Sorry. I’m just- they’re torturing me and I don’t know why.” Her voice cracked. “They fucking hate me. What did I do?”

He laughed.

“Oh, that’s funny to you?”

He shook his head. “They don’t hate you, Y/N.”

She huffed. “I highly doubt that, but thank you.”

Misha came closer and lowered his voice. “You know, they only torture those they like. Especially Jensen. He’s only like that with people he… really likes.” He emphasized the last like as if he were the grade school gossip and Y/N scoffed.

“Yeah, right.”

He grinned and shrugged. “Believe me or don’t, but it’s true. At least with you around, I’m getting a break.”

Y/N’s shoulders scrunched up high as she processed the new information. “He… likes me?”

Misha nodded. “Yup. He’s like a kid on a playground,” he told her. “If he dips your pigtails in ink tomorrow, don’t be upset. It’s like his mating call.”

Y/N cracked the first smile in days and hummed devilishly. “Hmm…”

“That’s a scary hmm,” Misha laughed.

“It is,” she agreed, turning to meet his gaze. “Maybe we can use this,” she said, lowering her voice to a harsh whisper. “Maybe we can prank him back.”

He laughed. “Yeah, that never works. I’ve tried.”

Again, Y/N’s brain turned in circles as her plan pieced together. “Hmm…”

Misha leaned back and watched her think. “Oh, this is gonna be good.”

Carrie walked into the kitchen, her face covered in bruises; a tiny butterfly bandage above her eyelid holding together a deep cut. She tiptoed down the steps and skirted the perimeter, eyes ever on Dean who sat alone at the table. He nursed a beer, two empty bottles haphazardly lined up next to it.

“Rough night?” she asked, her voice cracking with nervous emotion.

Dean didn’t look at her. He lifted the bottle to his lips and took a long sip, his eyes closing as the brew flooded his tongue. He came up with a heavy breath. “Rough life.”

She nodded and took a step towards him. “Yeah. I don’t doubt it.” Bare feet were sticky on the tile as she went to him, stopping at the edge of the table. “Do you wanna-”

“Talk about it?” he snapped, cutting her off, looking up with pained, red-rimmed eyes. “No. Do you?”

Meekly, Carrie shook her head. “No.”

She started to turn, meaning to leave him alone to wallow, but Dean’s hand shot out to grab her wrist, pulling her down to him. He looked up, a little drunk, mostly guilty.

“Why are you still here?” he whispered, tears choking his deep voice.

Her bottom lip trembled as his grip tightened. “W-what do you mean?”

Dean sat up, drawing closer to her, gaze digging into her soul. “Why are you still here? I almost killed you.”

She swallowed hard and leaned down, breath passing over his lips like a warm breeze. He closed his eyes but the kiss never landed. She pressed her cheek to his and whispered in his ear. “Because I can’t leave you…”

Dean’s eyes welled with tears.

Y/N’s whisper continued as the camera zoomed in over her shoulder on Dean’s reaction. “Because all I can think about is taking you out back and sucking your big, juicy cock over and over until you die of dehydration.”

Jensen choked on his own spit, so shocked by her words. He coughed to clear his throat and the scene was dead.

“Cut!”

Y/N pulled back and stared down at him, daring him to say anything. Jensen was stunned, looking up with wide eyes.

She winked.

He shivered.

“Back it up! Reset!”

Carrie tiptoed down the steps into the kitchen, bruised and battered from the night before. She saw Dean and shivered, body tensing up as she walked the edges of the room

“Rough night?” she asked, voice shaking.

Dean ignored her and lifted the bottle to his lips. “Rough life.”

Carrie took a step towards him. “Yeah. I don’t doubt it.” She floated towards him, nervous but needing to help. “Do you wanna-”

“Talk about it?” he growled, looking up at her.

Y/N let her eyes go soft and parted her lips. The tip of her tongue shot out to slowly drag across her bottom lip. Jensen swallowed hard.

“No,” Dean snit. “Do you?”

Carrie shook her head. “No.”

She started to leave but Dean reached for her wrist, pulling her down to him. He looked up and gasped.

Y/N puckered her lips into a perfect circle and Jensen couldn’t think of anything else but her mouth wrapped around his cock.

“W-Why are you... s-still here?” he whispered, chest heaving, eyes gazing over.

Carrie’s lip trembled “What do you mean, Dean?”

Y/N spoke his name with half a moan and Jensen squirmed in his seat, feeling his dick grow.

“Uh…Um...Why? W-why are-”

“Cut!”

Thrice more, Jensen mucked up the scene. Staring at Y/N, he couldn’t get any words to properly form, let alone a tear to fall. She licked her lips, batted her lashes, sucked her fingers, moaned in his ear. The closer they got to finishing the scene, the harder she teased him, and in the end, he could barely stand.

Dean stood quickly and Carrie backed away, afraid he would strike her again. Her wrist was snagged in his hand, his grip unbreakable.

“Let me go!” she demanded, twisting in his grasp.

Dean walked her backwards until she hit the countertop, her breath pushing out in a shocked huff.

“Dean!”

He kissed her silent, releasing her hand only to hold her cheeks, push his breath into her, his pain, his guilt.

“I’m sorry.”

She licked his kiss from her lips and closed her eyes. “I know.”

“Cut! We got it!”

Jensen dropped his hands from Y/N’s cheeks but didn’t back away right away. She bucked her hips forward and he groaned deep in the back of his throat. He was hard against her, his erection straining in his jeans.

The crew carried on their business and slowly, Jensen backed away, clasping his hands in front of his crotch.

“You figured it out,” he said with a faint laugh.

Y/N tongued her cheek and looked away, over his shoulder. “I had a little help from an angel,” she confessed.

Jensen dropped his head. “Damnit Misha.”

Y/N lifted her eyes to his. “Damnit, nothing.” She cocked her head and leaned close. “Wanna go get that drink now?”

Jensen’s lips puckered and he let out a slow breath. “Hell yes.”

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Goofing Off

Pairing: Jared Padalecki x Puerto Rican!Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~900

Warnings: fluff

Request by anon: Hola so i was watching the episode where Arthur is talking with the Winchester about the chupacabras so can i request a one shot where the reader is a actress a Jensen or Jared girlfriend who is Puerto Rican and is the one who is teaching David (Arthur actor) who to said Chupacabras?  With a lot of funny

Summary: You love pulling pranks and making people laugh. Whenever someone new comes onto the show, you make your mission to pull as many pranks as you can on them.

Square Filled: woke up married (2020) for @spnfluffbingo

Author’s Note: i didn't really go into the details of a reader that is puerto rican because i didn't want to get anything wrong, so i tried to keep it really vague here.

x

Out of all of the seasons you’ve worked on, your favorite has to be the current one: season twelve. One of the newest cast members, David Haydn-Jones, has been such an incredible addition to the show even if his character isn’t well-liked. Recently, David loves to have fun and joke around, and you just so happen to be one of the best pranksters on set.

Even before you met Jared, you were always looking to make your family smile and laugh with small pranks that didn’t do any harm to anyone. Jared happened to like that about you when you started dating, and it only got worse the more time went on.

The very first prank you ever pulled on Jared was putting a bunch of Ken Dolls on your car and calling him to tell him that there were men on your car and you were scared. He came out with a towel on his head like how a woman would wrap her hair after a shower and your bathrobe on. It was so funny you almost peed your pants.

The longer you two dated, the more he got into your pranks. Now, he almost expects them whenever he comes home from a long day of filming or doing a convention. Then, you two got married, and the first thing you did when you woke up as a married woman was pull a prank on him.

His life would never be boring from that on, and would always be filled with laughter and joy.

He got you a part on Supernatural for a few years now which you have loved doing. Being around Jensen, Jared, and Misha have been nothing short of amazing. Your pranks actually doubled in size when you teamed up with Jensen to take on Jared or Misha.

The newest person to suffer your wrath is David who plays Arthur Ketch on the show. He is more of a serious actor than the ones you usually work with but after a while, he got used to your pranks and lightened up a lot more.

Jensen and Jared are finishing up a scene while you and David are off to the side going over your plan. The plan is that you told David you two were going to get Jensen and Jared when in reality, you were turning the tables so that Jensen and Jared are going to get David.

“I got it, I got it,” he nods.

“Okay,” you smile.

David walks on set when he is needed, and the scene with Ketch, Sam, and Dean is ready to be put into motion.

Sam and Dean are seated in the Bunker’s library and Sam calls Mick over the phone to which Ketch answers.

“Hello, Winchester,” David says in his posh Ketch accent.

“Ketch? Where’s Mick?” Dean asks.

“He didn’t tell you? He flew back to London last night after all the unpleasantness with Dagon. Well, Mick has a lot to answer for. For the time being, you will report to me.”

“Seriously?” Dean rolls his eyes.

“I don’t like it any more than you do. I’d much rather be with your mother… hunting… for Chupacabras in Texas.”

It’s the way he said Chupacabras that has everyone confused. You know how to say it very well since you have the accent for it, but you told David how to say it the American way which Jensen and Jared picked up on easily.

“A what, Ketch?” Jared asks, still in character.

“Chupacabra.”

“What was that?”

“Chupacabra,” Jensen says in a deep voice while rolling his R’s.

Jared snickers but tries to stay in character. He takes out his phone and makes Google pronounce the word, and the entire crew starts laughing.

“Chupacabra,” Jensen says again.

“Chupacabra,” Jensen tries again, rolling his R’s.

“Chupacabra,” David says in the same accent as before.

Jensen looks at the phone weirdly as if David is right there in front of him.

“He doesn’t know how to say Chupacabra,” Jared says.

Jared plays the Google pronunciation of the word again loudly.

“Chupacabra,” David says.

“It’s like a brrra,” Jensen rolls his R’s. “Then Chupa. So it’s like Chupa, chupa, chupa--”

“Chupacabra,” David says over the phone in the same tone he’s been in since the scene started.

He’s trying so hard not to break character even though Jensen and Jared have already done so. You’re going to pee your pants from laughing so hard.

“Chupacabra,” Jensen rolls his R’s with a bit of an accent.

At this point, Jensen and Jared start talking gibberish and rolling their R’s and just having a good time while David is trying to stay in character. You can see him scrunch his nose up as if it itches, but that’s a ploy to hide the smile trying to break through.

“Chupacabra,” Davis says, causing Jared and Jensen to break out in giggles. “I don’t like it any more than you do but for now, I’m what you’ve got. So, Wisconsin…”

David can hear everyone laughing through the phone as he tries so hard to stay in character.

“Ketch? What was that?” Jared giggles. “He doesn’t know how to say Chupacabra.”

David hangs up the phone just as the director calls, “CUT!” David breaks out into laughter and looks right at you who can’t hold it in anymore.

“I’m not trusting you ever again!”

God, you love working on this show.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[spitzobsessed]

ALL of my swtor OCs in one picture

left to right top to bottom:

Rutha Alon Kallig - Sith Inquisitor, Lord Occlus

Leandro "Lea" Leekha - Jedi Knight, Hero of Tython

*______* - Republic Trooper, Havoc Squad CO

Lyvrench - Jedi Consular, Barsen'thor

Talaris Feier - Imperial Agent, Cipher 10

Savobrus "Sav" Lehenda - Sith Warrior, Empire's Wrath, Alliance Commander

Kaylin "Kay" Khesim - Smuggler, "Captain 'Kay"

Carainvor - Bounty Hunter, Champion

Eros Okira (Attive'ros'okiren) - Jedi Knight, Padawan

Jare Xanra - Imperial Agent, Cipher 12

[wizardsvslesbians]

Isaac here. I have been remiss, allowing recommendations to pile up in our inbox! I'll put them in one big post here. I think these have evolved to be at least partially intended for our audience rather than for us, so I'll include each whole pitch as a public service.

i would be curious to what yall think about Wrath Goddess Sing by Maya Deane, which is about lesbian Achilles in a T4T relationship, and then things get Weird. if nothing else it’s the most creative of the recent wave of myth retellings

This has now been rec'd twice! I'll put the requisite little star by it.

finally got around to watching love lies bleeding and while it doesn't qualify as wizlez by virtue of not being sff, it absolutely is in the zeitgeist as it hits many, many of the main beats of the wizlez subgenre. wizlez might really hit the mainstream at some point

If the wizlez movie escapes A24 and replaces the my dead wife is a 9/11 metaphor movie at the top of the cinematic heap I'll be surprised but not shocked

i'd like to request Vinbre the Novel by Opacifica! While it is technically a fanfiction, it uses a totally original setting and cast and doesn't require any prior knowledge. It veeery much qualifies for the podcast

Clever, clever. "Technically a fanfiction." You thought I wouldn't notice how many letters these characters' names have? How many sweeps do you want us to spend on this, exactly?

hi! been binge-listening and really enjoy your analysis :) I have a few recommendations -- first, leech by hieron ennes, which may not fit the brief precisely but definitely plays with a lot of the themes that you seem interested in (power, empire, hive minds, immortality, child abuse, body horror). I loved this one and I think it may be to your taste. also, star eater by kerstin hall and the scorpion rules by erin bow -- two dystopian novels with prominent wlw characters and definite wiz vs lez vibes. I can't vouch that these two are Good per se, but I definitely think they're interesting and bring a lot to discuss.

The Scorpion Rules is in fact on our to-cover list, and is only waiting for us to get some different murder at the boarding school books out of the way first.

it's been a hot minute but i have a book rec! It doesn't have lesbians per se but it is very Gender so it may make a good Special Episode (or at least y'all would enjoy it i think!) it's The West Passage by Jared Pechacek. Little scrungly babies scurry around a castle the size of a city. Decay! Casual cannibalism! gorgeous illustrations by the author! medieval steven universe worldbuilding! it was very weird and very beautiful

I do like books that take place in One Giant Building.... I'll give it a shot...

Wanted to drop a rec for you guys! Author is hiyodori and the book is The lowest healer and the highest mage!

This has also been recommended twice and we will probably, maybe get to it.

Look I'm aware that due to the time commitment which is on par with reading Homestuck and the audio format it's basically impossible to cover all of it. But fellow wizards vs lesbians listeners should know that the magnus archives probably counts as wizards vs lesbians. There are a million wizards, women fall in love, and lesbians definitely attack the wizards. plus there's an assortment of bad mothers and monstrous children. It somehow has a coherent plot and themes by the end as well, if you can stick with the motw format long enough. However it's mostly wizard pov

It is in fact possible to read the Magnus Archives as an ebook, thanks largely to the efforts of my friend Snarp. I mean, we won't be doing it, at all, ever. But it is possible.

whenever the two of you feel like reading young adult: these feathered flames by alexandra overy has an interesting lesbian (who is also a wizard? or at least has a wizard within her?), and the sequel has an evil wizard who comes the closest to “actual wizard, with the hat and beard and everything” i’ve ever seen

Yeah, why not.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🌈 Queer Books Coming Out in July 2024 🌈

🌈 Good morning, my bookish bats, and happy July! Pride Month may be over, but remember: Read Queer ALL Year. Here are a FEW of the stunning, diverse queer books you can add to your TBR before the year is over. Happy reading!

[ Release dates may have changed. ]

❤️ Earth to Alis - Lex Carlow 🧡 Cursed Boys and Broken Hearts - Adam Sass 💛 The Sky on Fire - Jenn Lyons 💚 The Meaning of Liberty - Sage Donnell 💙 Making It - Laura Kay 💜 The Black Bird of Chernobyl - Ann McMan ❤️ A Map of My Want - Faylita Hicks 🧡 The Devil You Know - Ali Vali 💛 The White Guy Dies First: 13 Scary Stories of Fear and Power - Various 💙 The Second Son - Adrienne Tooley 💜 Cursed Under London - Gabby Hutchinson Crouch 🌈 Forbidden Girl - Kristen Zimmer

❤️ Rise - Freya Finch 🧡 Undercurrent - Patricia Evans 💛 Online Rebellion - Blue Matt Jeff 💚 Wolf Gift - T.J. Nichols 💙 Cash Delgado Is Living the Dream - Tehlor Kay Mejia 💜 Miller: Origin - Starr Z. Davies ❤️ The Shadows Beyond - T.J. Rose 🧡 The Ones Who Come Back Hungry - Amelinda Bérubé 💛 Their Viscountess - Jess Michaels 💙 Fast Holiday - Kerry Lockhart 💜 The Great Cool Ranch Dorito in the Sky - Josh Galarza 🌈 The West Passage - Jared Pechaček

❤️ The Hades Calculus - Maria Ying 🧡 Misrecognition - Madison Newbound 💛 One Last Summer - Kristin Keppler 💚 Waypoint Seven - Xan van Rooyen 💙 Hiding Him - Adam Hattan 💜 Thousand Autumns - Meng Xi Shi, Me.Mimo ❤️ The Adventure Zone, Vol. 6: The Suffering Game - Various 🧡 Rowan & Aldred - Lucie Fleury 💛 Yoke of Stars - R.B. Lemberg 💙 Casting Vows - Ariella Talix 💜 Count Felford's Vessel - S. Rodman

❤️ The Actor and His Secret - Ben Alderson, Laura R. Samotin 🧡 How To Die Famous - Benjamin Dean 💛 So Witches We Became - Jill Baguchinsky 💚 The Amazing Alpha Tau Romeo and Juliet Project - Lisa Henry, Sarah Honey 💙 The Noble’s Merman - S.S. Genesee 💜 The Loudest Silence - Sydney Langford ❤️ Life is Strange - Brittney Morris 🧡 Bury Your Gays - Chuck Tingle 💛 I Will Never Leave You - Kara A. Kennedy 💙 The Blonde Dies First - Joelle Wellington 💜 Under the Lupine Moon - A. Knightley

❤️ Benji Zeb is a Ravenous Werewolf - Deke Moulton 🧡 Charlotte Illes Is Not a Teacher - Katie Siegel 💛 The Ghostkeeper - Johanna Taylor 💚 Trespass Against Us - Leon Kemp 💙 Exes & Foes - Amanda Woody 💜 The Very Long, Very Strange Life of Isaac Dahl - Bart Yates ❤️ Unbound - J.A. Vodvarka 🧡 StreamLine - Lauren Melissa Ellzey 💛 Time and Time Again - Chatham Greenfield 💙 No Road Home - John Fram 💜 Queen B - Juno Dawson 🌈 A Darker Mischief - Derek Milman

❤️ Beautiful & Terrible Things - S.M. Stevens 🧡 Benvolio & Mercutio Turn Back Time - Elle Beaumont, Lou Wilham 💛 About Last Night - Laura Henry 💚 You Had Me at Happy Hour - Timothy Janovsky 💙 Moonbane - Jamie Jennings 💜 Between Fate & Failure - Amber D. Lewis ❤️ Blessed by the Cupid Distribution System - Robin Jo Margaret 🧡 Between Dragons and Their Wrath - Devin Madson 💛 Twisted Magic - Barbara J. Webb 💙 Rare Birds - L.B. Hazelthorn 💜 At the End of the River Styx - Michelle Kulwicki 🌈 Origin Story - Jendi Reiter

❤️ Eras of Us - Shannon O'Connor 🧡 Corpses, Fools and Monsters: The History and Future of Transness in Cinema - Willow Maclay, Caden Gardner 💛 A Wolf in Stone - Jane Fletcher 💚 Toward Eternity - Anton Hur 💙 Portrait of a Shadow - Meriam Metoui 💜 Anyone's Ghost - August Thompson ❤️ Home Ice Advantage - Ari Baran 🧡 Unbelievable You - Chelsea M. Cameron 💛 Incorrect Eyes - Andromeda Ruins

[tawnyisacolor]

If they try to divide us with silence

Cut the deadweight

Bring the violence

[coleisunderrated]

The scariest thing in Ninjago is not the Great Devourer or even the Overlord. It's Pixal when she's super pissed. She'll turn into pure nightmare fuel. Even Lloyd, Zane, and Cyrus will become scared of her. The last person foolish enough to incur her wrath was Jared, that guy who worked for a while at Borg Industries. It's best not to know what happened to him.

[thesillychro]

list of ask blogs btw. pls send asks to them (ill update this whenever i make more)

christine canigula (part of an ask blog circle thingy) - @christiiiineecanigulaa

richie lipschitz - @riichie-was-and-still-is-here

daniel/stopwatch - @the-real-daniel-stopwatch-trust

jared kleinman - @im-not-a-fucking-bathbomb-eater

wiggog y'wrath/wiggly - @wiggog-wiggog-y-wrath

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

When Walker’s final arc ends with Jared Padalecki’s character getting trapped in an uncanny dreamscape with a fake happy life as he’s slowly dying buried in forest dirt, which he has to escape before suddenly quitting his job as ranger, taking his kids and taking off out of town as fast as he can, and The Boys s4 brings Jeffrey Dean Morgan in as a literal demon, canonically introduces a new age of pagan (specifically Roman) “wrathful gods”, ties it into Revelations somehow, makes a bunch of posters saying Robert Singer (played by Jim Beaver) is possessed by a demon, introduces undead (specifically undead Campbells, yeah Hughie has relatives and one of them was briefly a vengeful ghost, on The Boys, a show notably not about ghosts) and shapeshifting seductresses as things that exist, and brings back Soldier Boy with the exact hair and beard cut that Dean had in the spnwin finale, and announces that Jared will have a role in The Boys s5, and the new head of the college in Gen V is announced to be a supe(?) named Cipher at the same time that Jason Ritter starts rp’ing on twitter as being possessed by Bill Cipher

[cvbullshit]

Simulacra(1, 2, PD) Incorrect Quotes Part 2

These mainly take as if it was somewhat the Content AU(their nicknames, genders, and other) and mixed slightly with canon, depending on the quote. I may do art of them at some point, feel free to do art of them yourself though, if you want, just tag me since I'd want to see it. For context: -The first Simulacra(from Simulacra 1) is nicknamed Phoney. -The second Simulacra(from Simulacra 2) is nicknamed Ripple Man, obv. -The Pipe Dreams Simulacra is nicknamed Flappee. -The MC from the first game is labeled MC 1, MC from the second game being labeled as MC 2. -The MC from Pipe Dreams is labeled MC PD.

Flappee: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- Teddy: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Flappee: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- MC PD, recording: This is so cute.

Flappee: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room. Teddy: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you. MC PD walks in Teddy: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

the Squad cleaning up MC PD: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away. Flappee, to Teddy: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

Arya: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Rippleman: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back… Rex: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Mina: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. MC 2: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Maya: Mental stability, my old friend! Arya: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Mina: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? Maya: >:O language Rippleman: Yeah watch your fucking language Rex: Okay, who taught Rippleman the fuck word?! Arya: 'The fuck word'. MC 2: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Rippleman: Oh my god they censored it Arya: Say fuck, MC 2. Rippleman: Do it, MC 2. Say fuck.

Arya: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to MC 2 and Maya's convo? Mina: Me. I'm in the laundry basket. Rippleman: I'm in the washing machine. Rex: I'm in the closet. Mina: We accept you Rex. <3 Rex: No I'm literally in the closet. Mina: Love is love. <3

Arya: She was poetry, but he couldn't read. MC 2: His name was Jared he's 19. Mina: When his parents built a very strange machine. Rippleman, singing: Watch that scene, digging the dancing queen. Maya, singing: Eyyyy, Macarena! Rex: Horrible job everyone.

Murilo, to Rippleman: Why is MC 2 not talking? Rippleman: I'm playing the silent game with them. Murilo: Well, then you just lost. Rippleman: I lost two hours ago. I gave them ear plugs and told them to close their eyes. It was the only way I could think of to get them to shut up.

MC 2: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? Murilo: …What???

MC 2: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time. Murilo: cracks knuckles Manslaughter it is!

MC PD: I think MC 2 is in trouble. MC 1: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

Rippleman: Hey bro, what do you want to eat? Phoney: The souls of the innocent! Flappee: A bagel. Phoney: No! Flappee: Two bagels.

Flappee: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter A. Phoney: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Rippleman: Fuck you.

Rippleman: Now, Flappee, all of us are doing this because we care about you, okay? Phoney: Except for me. I just wanted to see the look on your face.

Rippleman: Where is everyone? Flappee: Phoney had a nervous collapse, MC 2 is looking after them, MC 1 is trying to kill MC PD, so I’m in charge. Rippleman: Oh my god! Flappee: I know, right?

MC 1: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them? Phoney, watching Flappee screaming, Rippleman trying to set a sleeping MC PD on fire, and MC 2 choking on air: I don't know either.

Taylor: When Phoney was born, the gods said, "They're too perfect for this world." Anna: Please. When they were born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."

Anna: Hey, check out my Spongebob umbrella! Anna opens their umbrella while indoors Taylor: Anna, that’s bad luck… Anna: Chill out, Taylor! Phoney, kicking down the door: WHO SUMMONED ME?!?! Anna and Taylor: screams

Anna: How do you do that? Taylor: I'm fearless. Phoney: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad. Taylor: I'm mostly fearless.

Mina: What do rainbows mean to you? Arya: Gay rights. Rippleman: There's money. Murilo: The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood. Rex: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

Murilo: Anyone d- Arya: Depressed? Rex: Drained? Mina: Dumb? Rippleman: Disliked? Murilo: -done with their work… what is wrong with you people…

[brojames-glorytogodvideos]

Dems Launch "Stop Project 2025" to Resist Dictator Trump

Bible prophecies are being fulfilled. The Lord God has given Satan only a short time. "Therefore rejoice, you Heavens, and you that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabitants of the earth and of the sea! For the devil is come down to you, having great wrath, because he knows that he has but a short time." (Rev 12:12) And the devil has laid his plan to install his Antichrist Donald Trump to rule the earth for a time - and drag souls down to hell with him.

And Satan has his man Joe Biden in place to be the big loser in 2024, a man who will be 82 in November. The Democrats have said 2024 is the most important election of our lifetime. They could have replaced Joe Biden but they were unwilling. They have chosen to stand pat and play the cards they have, with all their chips stacked in the middle of the table - and they are betting the farm on Joe Biden.

The Democratic Party understands all too well it's hopeless to defeat Donald Trump in 2024 with their candidate Joe Biden. But the die is cast - and they will not change horses midstream. Foreseeing their defeat in 2024, "House Democrats Lay Plans To Stop Implementation Of Project 2025" - news media is reporting.

Democratic House members are anticipating and bracing for the Project 2025 agenda mapped out by the returning Trump administration. Many House Democrats have launched a task force to start fighting the Project 2025 proposal to stop it from taking hold when Donald Trump returns to power in 2025.

Democratic Rep. Jared Huffman of California unveiled "The Stop Project 2025 Task Force" this past week, the latest sign that congressional Democrats and others are treating Trump’s dictatorial designs seriously in the expected victory of Trump and the GOP in November. Huffman said Project 2025 will hit, quote, “like a Blitzkrieg” and lawmakers need to be ready.

Website GloryToGodVideos.com

[godzilla-reads]

🕸️ The Wrath of Mulgarath (The Spiderwick Chronicles #5) by Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

Bruised and battered, Jared, Simon, and Mallory head home to the Spiderwick mansion to find it trashed, the Guide gone, and their mother kidnapped! What will they do with Mulgarath’s evil plan on the horizon?

Technically there are 8 Spiderwick books, but the last three are “Beyond the Spiderwick Chronicles”, so alls to say that this is a wonderful ending book for the Grace family. It was longer than the other ones and full of trickery, adventure, and catharsis. I can’t wait to delve into further adventures with the next three books.