#Jamie fucking tart

[dear-reader-letters]

Possible Editions to the List of Characters

Hello Dear Readers!

I have been thinking about adding to my list of characters in the coming months. I have been contemplating adding the following

-Ted Lasso (Ted Lasso)

-Roy Kent (Ted Lasso)

-Jamie Tartt (Ted Lasso)

-Sam Obisanya (Ted Lasso)

-Tony Stark (Marvel)

-Natasha "Phoenix" Trace (Top Gun: Maverick)

-Ron Weasley (Harry Potter)

-Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter)

-Fred or George Weasley (Harry Potter)

-Harry Potter (Harry Potter)

-Angus MacGyver (2016 MacGyver)

If these new additions interest you please let me know by commenting or messaging me! I want to create quality letters and don't want to spread myself too thin but If there seems to be interest in characters I can add them to my list.

[pyroteapot]

The second of Jamie Tartt’s guides to Amsterdam from the AFC Richmond twitter here

[somethingserious]

depression as soul impotence is the most valid description i’ve ever heard

[sighonaraa]

the football kiddos au, or, as i will now be calling it: The Adventures of Angry Caterpillars and His Jam Tart. everybody say thank you keeley for your incomprehensible dialogue patterns!

[dreamsandconstellations]

Roy definitely tagged along to Brazil

[le-clair-de-lune]

For my lovely anon from this request: "jealous!reader if james was to be flirted with? and like how james would react to it."

Hope you enjoy it!!

"Who does she think she is?" you asked to no one in particular, you eyes trained on the hand of some bimbo who obviously doesn't understand personal space.

You had been looking for your boyfriend, wondering what had been taking so long, only to find him... preoccupied.

Sirius is the first to notice the look you're sending across the room "Uh oh" he lets out causing the others to turn to you "Someone's jealous"

Your brows furrowed together as you tore your eyes away to look at him. "Who me?" you say baffled "Why would I be jealous? I am perfectly fine" you scoffed

"Your drink would say otherwise" Marlene smirks eyeing the crumpled cup in your hand.

Your eyes widen dropping the cup on the table next to you. "Shut up" you mumble.

Lily rolls her eyes "No need to be jealous, sweetheart. Everyone knows he's yours, practically walks around with 'property of y/n' stamped on him"

"Listen here, Red" you start "I'm not jealous, got it?" you say pouring yourself another drink

Jealous pfft why would you be jealous? You are in a perfectly secure relationship with the most loyal man in the world, how could you be jealous?

The others brows raise in response, "Surrre you're not" Remus says taking a puff of his cigarette.

"I'm not! Who would I be jealous of huh? Blondie over there? The one who's been eyeing James from across the room the whole time? The one who had his quidditch number on her cheek during the game? The daft, dense, mindless little tart who is currently trying to make a move on my boyfriend" you let out with a sarcastic smile "Puhlease, I am totally unbothered"

"Riiight" Sirius is the first to speak the rest looking at you amused. "Well then good thing you're unbothered because looks like she's getting comfortable over there"

In an instant you're out of your seat, heading over there. Leaving behind a smirking group of friends.

"Anyone got popcorn?" Peter asks leaning back in his seat, ready to watch the event unfold.

---

James had just wanted a drink, now he was stuck with some random Hufflepuff girl whose name he couldn't be bothered to remember. Molly? Polly? who cares?? She was becoming way to touchy for him to care.

"Uh yeah" James nodded agreeing to whatever she had been saying whilst trying to shift away.

James' sense of discomfort eases when he sees you making his way over to him. His lips parting as he takes you in. You looked really fucking hot. You were wearing his extra jersey which, with the help of magic, you had made bigger and cinched in all the right places to create a dress. A dress that left James drooling the moment he saw you this morning, not only did it accentuate your curves but it brandished his name. Everyone knew you were his girl and Merlin did he love it.

"Hi darl-" he was cut off but your lips pressing into his. Your fingers threading through his hair tugging softly, whilst pressing closer to him. James hummed in delight pulling you into him his hands travelling down to your ass, paying no mind to girl awkwardly watching the scene. This was not the greeting he was expecting, but who was he to complain?

When you finally pulled away you giggled at his dazed state, straightening his glasses and wiping the lip gloss from his lips as he looked at you with glossy eyes.

The girl coughed, turning your attention to her “Oh sorry! did I interrupt something?” you exclaimed in faux surprise, smiling at the obviously irritated girl.

“Yes actually” she scoffed “Me and Jamie were just making hogsmeade plans, weren’t we?” she pouted looking towards him, only to find him watching you with wide eyes and a stupidly adorable smile.

Jamie? The. Fucking. Audacity.

“Oh were you?” you smirked stroking the back of James’ head “Is that true, my love?” you sent him a soft smile.

“Huh?” he murmured letting his eyes trail over your body.

You couldn’t help out but let out a laugh watching the girl scowl.

“Jamie” you gained his attention cupping his cheek.

“Yeah”

“It’s rude to not respond baby, she’s asking you something”

“Oh” he blinked “ What was the question?” he asked keeping his eyes on you.

“Whatever” The girl scoffed walking away.

James payed her no mind, pulling you back into him kissing over your face.

“You. Look. Fucking. Ethereal.” he emphasized kissing you after each word

“Mhmm could’ve seen me in something better if you weren’t distracted” you teased, pouting as you trailed a finger down his chest.

James’ head filled with ideas of what that ‘something better’ his breath catching before he caught up with your words.

“Distracted?”

“Mhm with that girl” you say eyes drifting to the Hufflepuff, who was still watching, complaining to her friends.

James smirked as he saw the look of disgust on your face. Were you jealous?

"Find something amusing?" you raised a brow, pulling away "Were you having a nice time her?"

"With Polly?" James chuckled "I couldn't give a shit about her, love."

"I thought her name wa-"

"Who gives a fuck?" James deadpanned pulling you back into him "Why would I care about her when I've got all this" he reasoned running his hands over your body. "As if she could compare to my sexy goddess of a girlfriend"

You couldn't help but smile all your worries washing away, you leaned up whispering in his ear "Yeah well your sexy girlfriend has a present for her champion boyfriend" kissing under his ear before continuing "A red lacy present"

James groaned, his pants tightened as he burrowed his head into your neck. "I should make you jealous more often"

" 'm not jealous" you roll your eyes

"Whatever you say princess"

You locked eyes with the girl over his shoulder, smirking as he kissed at your neck.

So maybe you were jealous? It doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day, your sex god boyfriend only had eyes for you.

[crazyk-imagine]

Jamie’s Training Coach

Pairing: Jamie Tart x Fem!Reader

Characters: Jamie Tartt, Fem!Reader, Roy Kent, Zava (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Cursing (it’s Ted Lasso, don’t be surprised), Jamie being half naked, Roy being Roy, the coaching scenes, Reader wanting to hurt Roy, sexual innuendos from Jamie, Roy and reader are low key besties

Word Count: 993

A/N: Y’all already know what happened but I loved it so much... I’ve re-discovered my love for Jamie. That’s all. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The beginning of training

When Roy offered to coach Jamie at Sam's restaurant, you were surprised (but happy with their now forming friendship, even if neither of them wants to admit it). And then when it first happened, you couldn't believe that Roy was actually at the door. You smacked Jamie's arm at the sound of the banging on the front door. He does not move in the least bit, barely moves an inch (the prick, who you love... not right now though).

And you do it again, to which he whines. "Why are you hitting my arm?" He grabs your hand, holding it against his chest, not wanting to get injured any further.  You groan, squeezing your eyes shut even tighter. "Answer the door."   "Darling, if you keep hitting me, it's going to lead to a punishment which will make me miss my beauty sleep." "Go answer the door or else I'm kicking you to the couch." "I'm not a fucking dog." The knocks are louder and louder as he talks back. "Door, now." He grumbles and slowly pushes himself out of bed, rubbing his eye along the way. "Put pants on." "No, you know I get hot." "I get it, but you don't need to show your cock to the world." "Why? You going to get jealous?" "I don't think an early morning nap at a jail cell is something either of us want." You slowly push yourself out of bed to follow him while putting on Jamie's favorite hoodie (for you) to wear.

- You rub your eyes, "Who the fuck is at the-" you squint, not sure if you're seeing things correctly. "Roy?" "Fucking hell," Jamie mutters. "Hello, I'm going to... say sorry to you for waking you up but he needs coaching." He drops his arm, after staring at his watch. "All right, let's go." "It's four a.m.," your boyfriend points out. "Yeah," Roy nods. "We start at four a.m." "I thought you were joking." "How is that a joke?" "'Cause it's four a.m." "We start at four, so you can do three workouts a day instead of two." He rubs his eye and sighs. "Okay, but it's four a.m." "Do you want to be better than Zava or not?" You roll your eyes, now realizing what this is about. Jamie sighs, "well, how are we gonna see? It's dark out." Sometimes you’re proud of how observant your boyfriend is... right now, not so much. Roy puts on his headlamp, blinding the two of you. "Fucking hell." "Ah, shit. Roy." You put your hand in front of your face. "Turn that fucking thing off." "No. Now get dressed or I start flicking your balls." He scrunches his nose, turning around. "This is perverse." 

Roy glances down at Jamie’s bare bottom, the light of his headlamp making it obvious. 

You snicker because you know this is not what he was expecting to see... until his light blinds you. "I don't like you right now, Roy." "Yeah, I'm not proud of me either. Neither of you are wearing any fucking pants." You pout, fiddling with the end of the hoodie. "I have shorts on, they’re just... very short. I'm not going flash you like Jam-Jam." Roy lowers his face with raised brows. "Jam-Jam?" "Stop talking to him and go back to bed, love!" -

During the training "Why do you only sleep with a top on?" "I get cold upstairs and hot downstairs." Roy nods, "I get that." "It's a stupid excuse for him to get laid. Don't listen to him, Roy." Jamie throws up and his "coach" greets the passer byer. "I thought you went to bed," he groans.   "I did." You push yourself off the bench and hold a bottle of water out for him, while rubbing his back. "But I also know that your body has yet to get used to "Roy Kent's training course". I have to make sure I'll have a boyfriend to come home to me." Roy rolls his eyes when he sees that you've given him a hard stare.  

- 

Once Jamie's gotten used to training

He is all prepared to go next time, which annoys you. "Don't wake me up. I'm gonna get eyes bags," you whine. He chuckles, sitting on your side of the bed with his hand on your hip. "Since when did you care about that?" You flip onto your other side, so you can face him. "Since I've been dating a cocky little shit who likes to train at four in the morning." He chuckles. "You love it." You slowly open your eyes and crack a smile. "Not right now. Go get downstairs and take your phone with you." "I'm not a child." "In case you need to escape from Roy." "You know me so well, darling." He leans down to kiss you until he’s interrupted.  The pounding on the door traumatizes you. “Go, now.”

"Come on, Tartt! One more before dinner!" "That's your cue, Jam-Jam." "I told you to stop calling me that," he tells you with a smile. "And we both know, I won't." He pecks your cheek and lips before running downstairs. Jamie opens the door immediately, heavily breathing with his headlamp already on. "Let's go, Coach." He runs by Roy. Roy puts his on and takes off. "He better come back in one piece, Kent! Or you have to deal with me!" "He'll live to fuck you another day."

Your neighbors shout at you. 

“Shut up and go to sleep! Some people have to work!” You shout back to shut them up. 

“She doesn’t scare you when she shouts like that?” Roy asks, always finding it amusing when you shout at people. 

“Nah,” Jamie shakes his head. “It’s cute. She’s like an angry bunny.” 

You shake your head, after checking on them one last time, before locking the door and going back to bed to play on your phone while you wait for your boyfriend to return.

[tarttheart]

KNITWORTHY - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you pick up knitting and Jamie could not be more supportive.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: language

1.

The first time you made anything for Jamie, it was a plain pair of socks in a sandy beige colour. It was nothing fancy and you were certain one side was longer than the other. It had been a long time since you last knit so you were just happy to have finished something after impulsively picking up some yarn and needles again after work one day. Work had been manic and you were looking for something to help you unwind each night. Picking up the needles again just seemed right.

“I love them. Babe, these are fucking amazing,” Jamie proclaimed.

You probably would not have believed Jamie solely based on his words but his awestruck expression spoke heaps to how he felt. And, if that had not been enough, watching him proudly pull them on in the morning to wear to Nelson Road was all the proof you needed that the man was knit-worthy.

Knitted socks were not the most common sight around Nelson Road, especially not on one Jamie Tartt. Sports socks had long been his sock of choice until recently. While the beige socks had gotten a couple of curious looks, it was nothing too peculiar given how temperatures had dropped in the past week or so. It seemed a simple and effective solution to keeping warm, so effective that a few others decided to jump on the bandwagon.

“My toes feel like they’re at the beach in Chacala. I can hear the waves calling,” Dani quipped the first time he tried wearing woolly socks to training.

“Me too, boyo, it doesn’t even matter I look like I’m wearing my granddad’s socks,” Colin agreed.

2.

You had gotten hooked on knitting hats. After making yourself three in the span of a month, you were on the hunt for more heads to make beanies for. Luckily, Jamie kindly volunteered and even got involved with the process, choosing a bold, variegated yarn for his beanie. It took no time at all and within a week of casting on, Jamie was rocking his new headwear at Nelson Road.

It was definitely an unusual sight, not seeing an ICON cap atop Jamie’s head but with how chilly it had been, no one thought too much about it.

“I didn’t realise you wore beanies,” Keeley commented one day as she passed him in the hallway.

“Fuck yeh, I do now,” Jamie replied.

“Looks good,” Keeley offered and Jamie practically bounced away much to Keeley’s amusement.

He came home to tell you about how good your beanies looked and it had to be true because Keeley said so and Keeley knows all about fashion.

“Babe, babe, I think you could fucking sell these and making a fucking fortune,” Jamie continued excitedly and you laughed.

3.

Following the success of the first pair of socks, you knew another pair had to be made. It took a little while but when you chanced upon a yarn colourway called “Tart”, you were sold. Sure, it probably was not a colour in Jamie’s usual colour palette but it was a nice wine colour that you were confident he would look good in regardless.

The last pair of socks had been a real plain vanilla pair of socks and having had a little more practice now, you were ready to dive into something more textured for Jamie’s second pair of socks.

You were pretty proud of the end product and you swore Jamie lit up brighter than the New York City skyline when you handed them over. He had been eagerly awaiting their completion, watching you like a hawk each night and trying to figure out when you would have them done. One pair of woolly socks just was not enough to satisfy the man now that he had gotten a taste of toasty toes.

Jamie gave you no time or opportunity to wash the socks before he wore them. He needed these socks in his life right away and you were happy to oblige. Jamie excitedly wore his socks to Nelson Road the next day which caught a few more eyes this time. Afterall, it was even more of an unusual look for Jamie.

“Pretty sure those are hand knitted,” Bumbercatch commented from across the locker room one day as the resident knitting know-it-all.

“Yeh, his mum probably made it for him, bruv,” Issac said dismissively.

It had been a fair guess. Afterall, no one knew you existed. You were a naturally private person and you knew all that came with being Jamie’s girlfriend. What if it didn’t last and you had to then deal with all the fallout? Jamie understood and you agreed you two could go semi-public after Christmas if you guys were still together then. While Jamie had initially been disappointed, he came to really enjoy having something that was truly his. No media, no team chatter.

*

Jamie decided he had been benefitting too much from your new hobby without properly compensating you for your time and effort. Remembering that Bumbercatch was an avid knitter, Jamie stopped him one day seeking advice on tools he could get you to further your craft.

“What would you get as a present for a knitter?” Jamie asked Bumbercatch after everyone else had emptied from the locker room.

“Yarn is always good. There’s local yarn shop a few blocks away that has a good selection and they have some good tools too,” Bumbercatch offered.

With Christmas round the corner, Bumbercatch did not think much about it. Based on what he had been led to believe, Jamie was likely buying something for his mum.

4.

It had been a real labour of love. When Jamie had presented you with a beyond generous amount on a gift card and a set of fancy interchangeable needles, you knew you had to go big for his Christmas present. It had been a little hard to hide all the balls of yarn you had had to buy. It was even trickier trying not to make his present in front of him because you knew you would crack and tell him what it was the moment he gave you his big adoring eyes. But, all the late nights spent knitting out of Jamie’s sight and afternoons spent hiding in cafes to knit had been worth it.

“Babe, you fucking made this?”

You had been so excited to present him your pièce de résistance you were practically vibrating as he held up the cream cabled sweater vest. You knew it was not his usual look but it felt special making something not basic for Jamie.

“I know it’s not exactly the Jamie Tartt style but I wanted to do something more instead of just a basic knit. I would’ve made you a sweater but I didn’t want the sweater curse to come true so I thought maybe a vest would be a good loophole? You don’t have to wear it out or at a—…”

Jamie did not let you finish blabbering because he grabbed your face to plant an appreciative kiss on your lips.

“I’m fucking wearing this everywhere, love, this thing is fucking magic,” Jamie proclaimed and you were not quite sure what he meant by magic but you appreciated the thought anyway.

The first day back at training after Christmas had most buzzing. It was always nice and energizing to have a good break with loved ones, whether it was spent with their own families or Higgins’. But, when Jamie walked in in his cozy cream cabled sweater vest like he was in a hallmark movie, the whole facility stilled.

“Morning, lads,” Jamie greeted, paying no attention to way the room had quietened after his entry.

Bumbercatch nudged Colin who stood next to him, “I think Jamie has a girlfriend.”

“What’s got you thinking that, boyo?”

“That vest. It’s a recent release online by a big knitwear designer. It’s not a mum pattern. See?”

Colin and Isaac looked at the page on Bumbercatch’s phone and he was right. The vest Jamie was wearing looked almost identical to the one in the photo.

“It could—…”

Sick of all the speculations, Isaac turned and yelled out to Jamie, “BRUV!”

“Yea, man? What’s got your knickers in a twist?”

“Your vest. Who made it?”

“Oh,” Jamie paused for a moment before remembering that Christmas had passed and it was now safe for him to answer, “me girlfriend. She’s a fucking knitting genius.”

[makethatelevenrings]

Somewhere Only We Know - THREE

Chapter Warnings: swearing, spoilers for 2x02

series masterlist

You were so engrossed in searching for an audio for this TikTok that when a knock sounded on your door, you nearly launched your phone in surprise. A guy with a young face and big brown eyes peeked around your door and let out a quiet greeting.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said.

“No, no. No scaring at all,” you exclaimed. “You must be Colin Hughes.”

He was the first player on your list to meet with to discuss social media plans. Keeley helped you set up an online calendar that she sent out to every player with your information and the instructions to pick out a meeting time. Most players opted to do it before or after training which meant you had a few hours of work in between meeting with everyone.

“Come in,” you said. “I know you all are on strict diets but I baked these yesterday. It won’t break my heart if you can’t have one, that just leaves more for me and Keeley.”

A tray of cupcakes sat on the table next to your desk. You had baked them in a flurry of inspiration last night. A mixture of vanilla and chocolate cupcakes, you piped on green frosting and then black and white frosting to represent the ball. It was cute, in your opinion, but you hadn’t posted anything until after the players saw them so you could know if it was embarrassing or not.

“Oh, wicked,” Colin exclaimed. He took a vanilla cupcake and then settled himself in the plush office chair on the other side of your desk. “These are fucking amazing.”

“Thank you. Now, this doesn’t have to be a super formal conversation, y’know? I took a gander at everyone’s profiles and saw that you’re really passionate about Welsh independence.”

“Is that an issue?” He looked a bit sheepish and you shook your head.

“Nah, if anything it makes you more personable. My only issue would be if you’re a fascist fuck, but I don’t think that’s part of Plaid Cymru’s platform, right?”

A grin grew on his face and you laughed. “Listen, Hughes, I might be a social media manager, but I’m not dumb.”

“Didn’t think you were but it’s nice to know for sure.” His phone buzzed and he glanced down at it, the corners of his lips tugging down into a frown. You immediately caught onto his attitude shift and titled your head to the side.

“Something wrong?” you asked. He shrugged and pocketed his phone before crossing his arms over his chest.

“Nah, just some stuff with the team.”

“And my job is to know what’s going on with the team,” you pointed out. “So spill.”

Colin sighed and pulled his phone out once more. He pulled something up on the screen and then passed it over to you. A photo of Coach Lasso seated with the one and only Jamie Tartt was on the screen. Oh. Was Lasso asking him back on the team?

“When Tartt was last year, he was a right fucking tart. I wanted to be liked so I went along with it sometimes, but he was a knob to me too. I like coach, but I don’t know what he’s thinking.”

You handed his phone back to him and shrugged. “Just because he might be coming back doesn’t mean you have to act any differently. If you were a knob, I’d have called you out the second you walked into my office. Are you really going to let one guy ruin the person you’ve become?”

He considered your words for a moment and then nodded. “Thanks, yeah. I guess I needed to hear that.”

Sitting back with a victorious smile on your lips, you turned your attention back to your desktop which had his Instagram pulled up. “Now, let’s talk about your social media presence. You post frequently and have great engagement with fans, which is perfect. Keeley gave me the list of desired sponsorships so while she puts pressure on their marketing teams, I’m going to come up with a plan to make your accounts appeal to their brand. How does that sound?”

“Good, good. Can you show me how to do reels? Isaac said mine look like shit.”

“Bold words for a man who livetweets every episode of Bridgerton.”

Two days later, you found yourself bundling up in AFC Richmond gear thanks to the bitterly cold temperatures outside. Of course, today was the day you started photographing practice for social media. While Keeley sat inside the warm offices, you were forced into going outside. The blonde promised hot cocoa when you returned, ordered on the company card, so you readily agreed to freezing your nose off. Maybe the cold would help you stay awake too.

What had started as a night of planning out your next round of posts and recipes turned into cyberstalking Jamie Tartt. There were pages dedicated to fans ooing and ahhing over his skills on and off the field. Yet every single interview you saw of his showed just how truly egotistical the man was. It seemed as though he was incapable of discussing anything other than himself, whether it was boasting about his soccer skills or how he pulls women.

You had to admit that his soccer skills were pretty fucking good, even based on your limited knowledge of the game. One video of Jamie Tartt’s best plays turned into two and then it was one in the morning and you needed to be up at seven. Fuck.

That’s how you found yourself here, in the tunnel leading out to the Racetrack. Your breath puffed out in visible clouds against the frosty winter air and you grimaced. This was going to be the longest two hours of your life.

“Ah, fuck,” you murmured as you tried to remove the cap from your camera lens. The bright AFC Richmond blue and red gloves that Higgins gave you were incredibly warm, but the fleece made it hard to maneuver things. The cap popped off and promptly fell to the ground, landing at your feet.

“Fucking fabulous,” you huffed. You bent down to grab it but a hand already enclosed around the small piece of plastic. Standing back up to your full height, you came face to face with the one and only Jamie Tartt. He extended the cap towards you and you grasped it, feeling the warmth he emanated through your gloves.

“Thanks,” you said shortly. “Back at it, then? Good luck.”

“I don’t need luck,” he replied, almost as if it were a reflex. You raised an eyebrow at his conceited response and shrugged.

“Alright then, choke for all I care.”

With that, you glided past Jamie and out onto the turf to start taking photos. You had no time or energy to worry about him and his ego. The sooner you got all the photos you needed, the sooner you could get into the warm stadium once more.

Tag List: @shiptheship​ @teigo-the-explorer​ @geeksareunique​ @queenofthekill​ @actuallybarb​ @for-fucks-sake-im-alive @maggiecc​ @alipap3​

[fanficfanattic]

I never looked at the aliases for the team on the wiki. I was just looking up Sam’s birthday, and got distracted. So saw his.

It has Sam’s nickname as “Pinky Dick”?!? What the fuck?

I have never experienced anyone using this.

Apparently I have because Akufo uses it. Which explains why I didn’t absorb it. But still…an alias?

(Nor Jamie’s but at least his makes sense. “Footballing Tart” with one t.)

And I am sure there was an episode where Arlo was wearing his new hat but Ted COLIN called him Ash. So I figured that would be on his but NOPE! (That’s the actor’s actual name so I can understand the mix-up but make it canon!!!)

Also I know the wiki isn’t the be all end all. I know it. But jfc.

[toxicroyjamie]

Jamie says “I’m Jamie fucking tart” the same way jack sparrow “I’m captain jack sparrow”

When you know you're the shit you know you're the shit!!!!

[sighonaraa]

Nothing makes my day better than hearing that chapter 4 of the football kiddos au is in progress 🔛🔝

nothing makes MY day better than hearing that YOUR day is better upon hearing that chapter 4 of football kiddos is in progress <3 in exchange, here! have a wippet!

As he stands again, he brings Jamie with him. If they don’t get him away from the patch of dandelions soon, they’ll be fucking about with wishes the rest of the day, and the thought of that is even less appealing than the thought of teaching Jamie how to make all the goals. He hoists Jamie onto his hip and faces Keeley, praying that the expression on his face is enough to signify the absolute fucking depths of his weariness. But Keeley, either not noticing or choosing to ignore it, chirps, “What’d you wish for, Royo?” “Can’t tell you,” says Roy. “I’ll be smited by the fucking fairy overlords. Do you want me to get smited by the fucking fairy overlords?” “I think it’s smote,” says Keeley. “Roy,” says Jamie, in tones of great exasperation, “s’no such thing as fairy overlords. The fairies’re nice and pick leaders demorally!” “What the fuck,” says Roy. “Do you mean democratically?” Keeley claps her hands together in front of her chest. “Aw, the jam tart’s gone anti-establishment!” She wipes a pretend tear from her eye. “They grow up so quickly.” “Where’d you learn about the democratic electoral process, you muppet,” Roy says to Jamie. “Mm.” Jamie scrunches up his nose. “Yesterday when you were taking forever in the bathroom I met this kid called Moe out in the hall and he told me all about it! And then he went away ’cause you were taking forever—” “I think you were taking forever in the bathroom,” Keeley remarks. “—and now maybe you’ll never ever meet him!” Jamie finishes. His tiny fingers curl into the front of Roy’s shirt, a light, gentle weight. The warmth of it blooms like a bud unfurling in the weak spring sun. Roy holds his next breath in his throat, not daring to move lest he destroy this fragile thing, and his own fingers tighten around Jamie’s stomach, keeping him close and safe.

[siriusblack-the-third]

Boredom, Flustration and Love Confessions part 3

Part 1 | part 2 | Part 4

.

Sirius hasn't had this much fun in his entire life.

Really, if he knew getting a tongue piercing would mess with his Jamie as much as it did, he would have done it way back in fifth year. Watching him squirm is just too hilarious.

And cute as fuck.

He grins at last night's memory of James stomping into their dorm with the most adorable flaming red blush painted over his cheeks and the tip of his nose, only to freeze at the sight of Sirius, twist on his heel and stomp back out, blushing even darker.

To think all he had been doing was lounging in his bed with a book.

"You're going to give him an aneurysm," Remus mutters next to him, sounding for all the world like he is weary of Sirius, but Sirius knows better; Remus is enjoying this just as much as he is.

"Shut up, Moons," he says airily, and watches James appear at the doors to the Great Hall. His eyes follow the other boy as he strides towards Lily and dramatically plops himself down between her and Marlene, making her roll her eyes with a grin on her face even as she pops a treacle tart into her mouth.

James is wearing flared jeans and an oversized powder blue sweater whose sleeves reach all the way to his fingertips, and Sirius is pleased to see the pearl earrings he gave him for Gudi Padwa earlier this year. His hair is extra messy today, and the bold line of kajal can be seen clearly even from across the room. Sirius isn't close enough to see his eyes, but he knows that the kajal brings out the green and gold specks in the brown.

James has the most ridiculously pretty eyes, Sirius thinks, all large and almond shaped and Bambi-like. One would think Sirius, being the dog animagus, would have the puppy eyes. Yes well, his puppy eyes haven't got shit on James' doe eyes. Which is even more ridiculous when you consider that James is tall and has toned, lean muscles from hours of throwing Quaffles around.

Someone that hot shouldn't have the ability to be so cute. It's just not done.

Remus sighs in exasperation and shuts his Defence textbook with a snap to give Sirius an annoyed look that both of them know is an act.

"Both of you," he announces with the most exaggerated air of importance like he is the second coming of Myrddin, "are ridiculous as fuck. Ask him out already, shit's sake!"

Sirius snickers. "But this is so much more fun, Moony," he drawls, and the other boy gives him a flat, unimpressed glare. Okay, that one is real.

Sirius sighs and rolls his eyes. "Alright, look, how about this? When we go down to Hogsmeade today, you get Pete, Lily and Marls to clear off. Je vais lui demander."

Remus gives him a long glance, then nods briskly. "Will do, Pads."

"Thanks Remi, you're a darling."

"Save your flirting for Prongs."

.

.

When Sirius bounds down the stairs three at a time come ten o'clock, James is waiting for him with a small grin, fingers playing with his sweater paws and a dark blue knit scarf around his neck. He is alone. Sirius grins back and shoves one hand into his pockets while holding the other out for James to take.

"The others left early," James says as he slides his warm hand into Sirius', and Sirius notes with delight the light pink dusting itself over James' cheeks. "Lily dragged Remus, Marlene went with that Ravenclaw girl— Vera? Yeah Vera. Pete said he wanted a little time alone without our chaos."

Sirius chuckles and slides their palms so they can intertwine their fingers, and takes a great amount of pleasure in the way James ducks his head down shyly, lips pulling into a small grin.

"I'm starting to think Peter doesn't like us anymore," he jokes as they start making their way towards the front doors of the castle. James snorts and laughs, and it is the most gorgeous thing Sirius has ever seen; his pretty eyes crinkle at the corners and his plump lips pull back to show sparkling white teeth, and he steps closer to Sirius to playfully knock their shoulders together.

"Careful, there," James says with a lopsided grin, "that might just come true."

Sirius laughs, then winks at Filch when they pass him. James buries his head into Sirius' shoulder to muffle his giggle when the old caretaker glares at them, and Sirius feels like he is on a cloud. James' hand is warm and slightly sweaty, a stark contrast against the November chill that has settled over the castle and it's surroundings, and he looks so cozy when he pulls up the scarf to cover his mouth and nose that Sirius can't help it.

He leans down to press a kiss to James' forehead.

Immediately, deep pink blooms in a band across his cheekbones, and he blinks at Sirius with slight confusion.

Sirius winks. "You just look too cute, mon beau," he says in way of explanation, and James grins under that scarf; Sirius can tell because he knows James the way he knows his own palm, because he knows James better than he knows himself.

"On y va," he says, not giving him a chance to reply before he is tugging on their joined hands, "We'll go to Tomes And Scrolls, and you can buy books."

James, giant bookworm that he is, lights up like a lumos maxima and suddenly Sirius is the one being dragged down the little cobblestone path.

Sirius grins at the back of his head and he knows full well that he looks besotted as all hell, but cannot bring himself to care.

It's James.

He can't help being besotted.

They arrive at Tomes And Scrolls before Sirius realises it, and James lets go of his hand to bound excitedly over to the Arithmancy section, a bright smile on his face when he pushes the scarf down.

"Si, look," he gasps, pulling out thick, large textbooks and bound research papers like they weigh nothing, "they have works by Charuta Deokar!"

Sirius leans his shoulder against the shelf frame and stares at the gleam in his hazel eyes with a helpless heart and a soft smile; Gods, what he wouldn't do to keep that sort of look on James' face for all their lives.

He just looks so happy, like Sirius has just handed him the one thing he desires most in his life.

Sirius snorts.

They are in a book store. Sirius has done exactly that.

He does not say a single word; he simply follows James around as the other boy pulls out book after book and piles them into Sirius' arms, chattering a mile a minute with a blinding smile on his face with his hands flying everywhere. He holds the books, answers when he is asked a question, points out more books when he thinks James will like them, and most importantly, he doesn't take his eyes off of James' handsome face.

I am so fucking smitten, he thinks.

When James is done, it's nearly two o clock, and they have been in the bookstore for almost three hours.

"Sorry," James tries to say when Sirius' stomach gives a particularly loud gurgle, but he cuts him off with a fond shake of his head.

"Nope," he says. "I had fun. We should do this more often."

Funny thing is, he means it. He may not love reading as much as James does, but he does enjoy it, and he can never be tired of looking at his face. Never.

James gives him a skeptical look, and he grins. "I mean it, mon beau," he winks, "you look way too adorable when you talk about books, and I got to stare at your pretty face for three hours while you got to pick out books. Win-win, I say."

And that red flush is back. James averts his gaze to the side with a small smile on his face, and Sirius feels a smile of his own pull at his lips. His arms are aching from holding heavy books and he is starving for a good meal, but he thinks– no, he knows– that that smile is absolutely worth it.

They drop a dozen books onto the counter, and Sirius glares at James when tries to pay. "Jamie, put away the card," he complains. "I brought you to the shop, I pay."

"But—"

"No buts, ands or ifs," he cuts in, but James gives him a stubborn look.

"They're my books," he points out with a raised eyebrow.

Sirius nods in agreement. "And I brought you here. Shut up and put your card away, petite biche."

Little doe.

That nickname always works, and it doesn't disappoint this time. James flushes dark red and reluctantly slips the crystal Gringotts card back into his wallet with a small pout, and glares at Sirius when he grins triumphantly and hands his own card over to the cashier, who is smiling at them like she knows they're on a date.

The total amount racks up to 72 galleons, and they walk out of the shop with three bags on one of Sirius' arms, and James gripping his other arm and the handle of the fourth bag with a glare on his face that both of them know is fake.

The bright red cheeks kind of give him away. And the slight pleased upturn to the corner of his lips.

Sirius gives him a smug grin, and James sighs in exasperation.

"Let's just go," he mutters.

.

.

Tags:

@xxmysticrose18 @narcissa-black-supermacy @padfootastic @gracelesslady23 @ghostie-06

[lottiepumpkinofficial]

18th-20th october!

chap’s 17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24

are you ready for a big one? (i got busy over the weekend so im catching up before i get even busier)

okay i like the name of the crematorium, it’s like even though he’s dead, the sweetness remains and so does his legacy

ellie stop it, you’re not helping anyone by making snarky comments like that

i like that lottie painted alfred, they had a little moment of bonding back at the house and i think it’s a sweet tribute that lottie did

i won’t lie, the twins’ grandfather is giving oppenheimer

deep chats 🩷

ani blushing while talking about coming out to her father is so real, when you’re in the closet and so scared of coming out it is such a big thing- it has the same level of significance of telling someone you’re in love with them, except more, especially when you’re that young and knowing a bad reaction is the difference between a life of convenience and money and everything you’ve ever known, and a life where you have to build everything up from scratch

it is a good thing you fucking royals, you literally both have terrible fathers and hate your family, you should be cheering lottie on for being brave enough to cut her terrible father off- something you both wish you could do (well jamie is debatable at this point but he’s seen the damage family can do)

okay jamie tone it back a bit, it’s not weird to tell her you’re proud of her but overprotective much?

jamie you’re being a hypocrite

harus got the gaydar on point (not that it’s hard to tell)

i can only imagine them pushing the hair in a very effeminate way which is hilarious for both jamie and ellie

the artistocracy members make me so so uncomfortable, it’s giving the goths that would bully you for being a “normie” in school (idk maybe that was just me)

ugh i fucking hate them, they’re so rude and creepy

bambi :(

generational trauma, lottie

i love binah being vulnerable in this way

autism, lottie

these two :(

because you shouldn’t have gotten the stupid tattoo that only serves to hurt you, ellie, the more you give into the voice in your head the more it will hurt

poor little rabbit :( if it’s already that hurt it’s so horrible to kick it under a bush to die :(

in up micky steals a strawberry from lottie’s cheesecake, and now he’s giving her a portion of his strawberry tart 🩷

ahhh finally my question is answered- there’s a laundry room and the students have to do it themselves

okay stephanie and max have redeemed themselves a tiny bit in my eyes

and here comes the confusing timeline

fucking hell

[its-moopoint]

Ted Lasso

I'm so happy to be on holidays and finally have been able to start watching this show. Good praise and totally deserved so far.

Quick general thoughts (beginning S2 right now, had Jamie Tart's rep pretend to call and offer him to Real Madrid 😂 and offered a reality show in Ibiza, maybe he can help hunt for SC's Spanish marriage certificate)

- I hate the colours for Richmond cause they are Barcelona's and you know I'm a huge Madridista.

- Great actors. There was a time I couldn't stand Sudeikis, couldn't get his friendship with Aniston but he plays good comedy.

- Annette Badland... wait a sec... I KNOW YOU!!

- Jamie Tart is supposed to be Cristiano Ronaldo ain't he?

- I won't be able to sing Baby shark to any of my nephews the correct way, ever again 🦈

- Hannah Wadd something is sexy as fuck. What is it about that woman?!?? 🔥

- I ship Roy and Keeley 🫶🏼

- watching it in original version so actually learning new football (soccer LOL) words which is pretty useful for me but I confess I don't understand half the words they (any of them are saying). I used to think american accent was easier for me than British but boy my ears are confused cause I really have trouble with them all.

FOOTBALL IS LIFE MY FELLAS!!!

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 12 (FINALE) - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you get Jamie’s help to find some closure.

word count: 1.2k

warnings: language, mention of pregnancy loss

-

chapter 12: from heaven above

Jamie found himself waiting at the address you texted him in a dull black hoodie and jeans. The audacity to try to restrict his fashion choices, he thought albeit through a smile. He could not believe he had a chance to make it right with you but also, what could it be that you two would be doing together?

“Hey, thanks for coming,” you greeted as you approached him, speeding up when you spotted him in the distance.

You were dressed pretty lowkey too and holding a little posy. You gestured for him to follow you as you stepped onto church grounds and went through a side gate. Intrigued, Jamie followed silently only to find himself in a little church garden, sitting on a bench next to you after you set the posy by a plaque in the middle.

“We’re at a church,” Jamie announced, stating the obvious.

“Yeh, yeh, we are,” you said, squinting up into the spring sun.

“I didn’t know you’re religious.”

“I’m not,” you inhaled sharply before turning to him, trying to keep a steady voice as you spoke, “it’s the anniversary of my due date.”

“Oh, fuck,” Jamie said softly.

“I’ve always spent it at home grieving in bed but, I feel like it’s time for some change and to move on. I figured it was right to say goodbye to Lemy here and with you.”

“Lemy?”

“Yea, I called it Lemy when it was in my belly,” you reminisced fondly.

“What the fuck kind of name is Lemy?”

“It was short for Lemon because I like lemon tarts,” you defended.

“Because you like lemon tarts? Why didn’t you call it chocolate cake or custard pudding?”

“God, Jamie, you can be so dense. What is your last name?”

“Oh… fuck…” Jamie swore before curiously asking, “you would’ve used my last name?”

“Eh, I hadn’t decided but maybe. Depending on how you had reacted when I told you. Maybe both our last names or just one. I don’t know.”

You cleared your throat, shifting the conversation back to the present, “so, yes, I wanted to say goodbye to Lemy and I thought it might nice for you to know about Lemy and Lemy to know you.”

“Right, so, what do we do?” Jamie asked, not having done anything remotely close to this before, “do we just talk and shit?”

“Yea, I’ll start,” you offered, “hey Lemy, it’s me, your mum.”

You paused, feeling your emotions choke up in your throat and the tears forming. Jamie reached over to hold your hand, giving it a little squeeze to serve as a reminder that he was there and you had his support.

You composed yourself and continued, “It’s been four years, hey. I think about you all the time. But, Lemy, Mum thinks she needs to start looking forward and Dr Sharon helped me understand that you would want me to too. I might not dedicate the day to you going forward, but I still love and remember you. Forever and always. Thank you for bringing me joy even if only for a little while and you’ll always be family even if we never met physically. Be healthy and happy wherever you are.”

Jamie felt his own emotions overwhelm him. This was the first time he was learning of Lemy or even really spending time thinking about Lemy. He could not even begin to imagine what it would have been like for you thinking about it so much throughout the years.

“I brought someone special to see you today, Lemy… this is Jamie, I told you about him before…”

“Uh, yeh, hi,” Jamie started, hesitating for a second before he continued, “hey Lemy. It’s me, your dad, Jamie.”

The words felt weird coming from his mouth but when he looked over at you, he knew they were right. The sad smile on your face encouraged him to continue, “sorry we haven’t spoken before but now that I know about you, I, uh, I might drop in every now and then. I appreciate you being with your mum when you did. It sounds like you made her really happy when you were with her. She really loves you and she misses you.”

“I wish we could’ve all met, yeh. Would’ve loved to see who you’d have been more like,” Jamie smiled sadly to himself, pausing as he tried to gather himself before he finished with, “uh, right, yeh. Go well.”

The air was sombre and you both sat quietly, each taking in the heaviness of the moment and what had been said.

You were first to speak, “I genuinely meant to tell you. Then, they said it was a bit small so I waited. Then, it wasn’t going to happen so I didn’t. You didn’t need to know about something that wasn’t happening.”

“But other stuff was happening, I should’ve known. You were pregnant, I should’ve known.”

“Right, imagine that call, Jamie. “Hey, I know you’re a premier league star and I’m living across the world but I was pregnant with your kid. I say was because I’ve now lost the baby. Thought you should know, bye”,” you paused for effect and Jamie sighed.

“You had so much going for you, I didn’t want to be a distraction,” you explained.

“You wouldn’t have though. You’d have made me better.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. I was a proper fucking prick at Man City and you still got in me head, you did.”

You laughed, “well, it’s all in the past now.”

“I was a bit fucked up after you stopped replying,” Jamie admitted.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised, meaning every bit of the apology.

“I fucked things up with Keeley too because a part of me was like, “what’s the fucking point if even you couldn’t see good in me? You’re a fucking Saint and you thought I was shit”.”

“I-I… I…”

“They set me back on the right path, Richmond did. Coach, Keeley, even fucking Roy. They made me better so you know, I can be here for you now without being a fucking arsehole”

“Jamie, I’m sorry you ever thought it was your fault. I’m sorry I didn’t communicate better with you then. I couldn’t catch my breath to even say the words. When it happened I was barely surviving and maybe it would’ve helped having people but, I couldn’t do that to anyone else.”

“Yeh, look, the me now wants to say I’d have been there for you then too but, I was a fucking prick so I might not have been. I’m just glad I can be here for you now. And, you know, if you need, in the future.”

You smiled. You had spent the better part of five years avoiding Jamie because of how much it reminded you of what had happened before. He was a painful memory. But, here and now, with Lemy on this pretty significant day, you almost felt like it was right.

“Yea, maybe. In the future,” you said, meaning it as you looked at how Jamie was still holding onto your hand.

Jamie smiled a little before joking, “I get final say on names, yeh?”

“What?” You snapped.

“No more naming kids after fruits, yeh? We aren’t in fucking America.”

“Deal.”

-

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