tarttheart

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 12 (FINALE) - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you get Jamie’s help to find some closure.

word count: 1.2k

warnings: language, mention of pregnancy loss

-

chapter 12: from heaven above

Jamie found himself waiting at the address you texted him in a dull black hoodie and jeans. The audacity to try to restrict his fashion choices, he thought albeit through a smile. He could not believe he had a chance to make it right with you but also, what could it be that you two would be doing together?

“Hey, thanks for coming,” you greeted as you approached him, speeding up when you spotted him in the distance.

You were dressed pretty lowkey too and holding a little posy. You gestured for him to follow you as you stepped onto church grounds and went through a side gate. Intrigued, Jamie followed silently only to find himself in a little church garden, sitting on a bench next to you after you set the posy by a plaque in the middle.

“We’re at a church,” Jamie announced, stating the obvious.

“Yeh, yeh, we are,” you said, squinting up into the spring sun.

“I didn’t know you’re religious.”

“I’m not,” you inhaled sharply before turning to him, trying to keep a steady voice as you spoke, “it’s the anniversary of my due date.”

“Oh, fuck,” Jamie said softly.

“I’ve always spent it at home grieving in bed but, I feel like it’s time for some change and to move on. I figured it was right to say goodbye to Lemy here and with you.”

“Lemy?”

“Yea, I called it Lemy when it was in my belly,” you reminisced fondly.

“What the fuck kind of name is Lemy?”

“It was short for Lemon because I like lemon tarts,” you defended.

“Because you like lemon tarts? Why didn’t you call it chocolate cake or custard pudding?”

“God, Jamie, you can be so dense. What is your last name?”

“Oh… fuck…” Jamie swore before curiously asking, “you would’ve used my last name?”

“Eh, I hadn’t decided but maybe. Depending on how you had reacted when I told you. Maybe both our last names or just one. I don’t know.”

You cleared your throat, shifting the conversation back to the present, “so, yes, I wanted to say goodbye to Lemy and I thought it might nice for you to know about Lemy and Lemy to know you.”

“Right, so, what do we do?” Jamie asked, not having done anything remotely close to this before, “do we just talk and shit?”

“Yea, I’ll start,” you offered, “hey Lemy, it’s me, your mum.”

You paused, feeling your emotions choke up in your throat and the tears forming. Jamie reached over to hold your hand, giving it a little squeeze to serve as a reminder that he was there and you had his support.

You composed yourself and continued, “It’s been four years, hey. I think about you all the time. But, Lemy, Mum thinks she needs to start looking forward and Dr Sharon helped me understand that you would want me to too. I might not dedicate the day to you going forward, but I still love and remember you. Forever and always. Thank you for bringing me joy even if only for a little while and you’ll always be family even if we never met physically. Be healthy and happy wherever you are.”

Jamie felt his own emotions overwhelm him. This was the first time he was learning of Lemy or even really spending time thinking about Lemy. He could not even begin to imagine what it would have been like for you thinking about it so much throughout the years.

“I brought someone special to see you today, Lemy… this is Jamie, I told you about him before…”

“Uh, yeh, hi,” Jamie started, hesitating for a second before he continued, “hey Lemy. It’s me, your dad, Jamie.”

The words felt weird coming from his mouth but when he looked over at you, he knew they were right. The sad smile on your face encouraged him to continue, “sorry we haven’t spoken before but now that I know about you, I, uh, I might drop in every now and then. I appreciate you being with your mum when you did. It sounds like you made her really happy when you were with her. She really loves you and she misses you.”

“I wish we could’ve all met, yeh. Would’ve loved to see who you’d have been more like,” Jamie smiled sadly to himself, pausing as he tried to gather himself before he finished with, “uh, right, yeh. Go well.”

The air was sombre and you both sat quietly, each taking in the heaviness of the moment and what had been said.

You were first to speak, “I genuinely meant to tell you. Then, they said it was a bit small so I waited. Then, it wasn’t going to happen so I didn’t. You didn’t need to know about something that wasn’t happening.”

“But other stuff was happening, I should’ve known. You were pregnant, I should’ve known.”

“Right, imagine that call, Jamie. “Hey, I know you’re a premier league star and I’m living across the world but I was pregnant with your kid. I say was because I’ve now lost the baby. Thought you should know, bye”,” you paused for effect and Jamie sighed.

“You had so much going for you, I didn’t want to be a distraction,” you explained.

“You wouldn’t have though. You’d have made me better.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. I was a proper fucking prick at Man City and you still got in me head, you did.”

You laughed, “well, it’s all in the past now.”

“I was a bit fucked up after you stopped replying,” Jamie admitted.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised, meaning every bit of the apology.

“I fucked things up with Keeley too because a part of me was like, “what’s the fucking point if even you couldn’t see good in me? You’re a fucking Saint and you thought I was shit”.”

“I-I… I…”

“They set me back on the right path, Richmond did. Coach, Keeley, even fucking Roy. They made me better so you know, I can be here for you now without being a fucking arsehole”

“Jamie, I’m sorry you ever thought it was your fault. I’m sorry I didn’t communicate better with you then. I couldn’t catch my breath to even say the words. When it happened I was barely surviving and maybe it would’ve helped having people but, I couldn’t do that to anyone else.”

“Yeh, look, the me now wants to say I’d have been there for you then too but, I was a fucking prick so I might not have been. I’m just glad I can be here for you now. And, you know, if you need, in the future.”

You smiled. You had spent the better part of five years avoiding Jamie because of how much it reminded you of what had happened before. He was a painful memory. But, here and now, with Lemy on this pretty significant day, you almost felt like it was right.

“Yea, maybe. In the future,” you said, meaning it as you looked at how Jamie was still holding onto your hand.

Jamie smiled a little before joking, “I get final say on names, yeh?”

“What?” You snapped.

“No more naming kids after fruits, yeh? We aren’t in fucking America.”

“Deal.”

-

< chapter 11 | master list

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE CHAPTER 11 - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you talk to Jamie.

word count: 870 words

warnings: language

-

chapter 11: there that I see

You were in Rebecca’s office after another victorious match at Nelson Road. Rebecca was your ride home and she had needed to retrieve a few things from her office before the weekend. You were scrolling through your phone when someone knocked on the door. You both looked up to find Sam.

“Hi, the team are going to head to Ola’s to celebrate the win and Ola’s anniversary. Please come and join us.”

“Oh, thank you, Sam, and congratulations on both wins. But, I promised my friend that I would get her home after the match today.”

“The more the merrier, you are invited too,” Sam said with a bright smile.

“Oh, not sure if that’s a good idea,” Rebecca started, mindful of the position it might put you in.

“I insist, Coach Lasso used to say that everyone here is part of the team and we really enjoy when you join us for the celebrations, it would mean a lot.”

Rebecca’s eyes darted to you, uncertain about the consequences her consent could bring when you spoke up, in a really calm voice that immediately assured Rebecca, “thanks, Sam. We will be there.”

So there they were. Rebecca had asked you repeatedly if you were certain you had reached this point in your recovery. Ola’s was not a big party place, it was a small intimate restaurant. Jamie was almost definitely going to be there and given the size of the venue, he would be close to impossible to avoid.

“It’ll be fine, Rebecca.”

It was the first time Rebecca thinks she had ever heard you speak so firmly and seeing your calm demeanour, Rebecca blurted out, “you mean that, don’t you? You are actually okay with all of this now.”

You shrugged, “I don’t know about okay but if I don’t try, I won’t know how much more I need to work on.”

Rebecca pulled you into a hug and you laughed as she proclaimed, “I am so proud of you. You’ve grown so much since the first time we met.”

“Thanks to you, Rebecca. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Cheers to you, for all the work you’ve put into yourself,” Rebecca toasted, clinking her wine glass against yours.

“Cheers to you for all the support and love you’ve shown me,” you reciprocated.

“Oi, cheers to the girl who set the both of you up?!” Keeley exclaimed and the two of you held your arms out for her to join in for a group hug with a laugh.

Across the restaurant, Jamie was struggling a little. The last place Jamie expected to see you was at Ola’s. Fuck, he was not sure he expected to ever really see you again, especially not in such a small intimate venue where it would be hard to avoid each other.

But, Jamie tried. Afterall, the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel uncomfortable merely by being present as himself.

“Hey,” came a familiar voice while Jamie stood at the bar getting his drink. Jamie turned, unsurprised by whose voice it was but surprised that you had approached him.

“I… uh… I can go if you want,” Jamie started, turning and gesturing towards the door.

Yet again, he was surprised when you shook your head and joined him, leaning against the bar counter.

“No, don’t. It’s your celebration. I’m the one imposing.”

The room was loud but the silence that settled between the two was deafening.

“Great goal today,” you complimented.

“Uh, thanks.”

Jamie still was not certain what was going on here or how much he should say, allowing you to lead the conversation.

“I know I’ve been imposing at Nelson Road heaps and it’s been awkward so I’m really sorry I’ve made your workplace a bit difficult.”

“Oh no, it’s fine. It’s, uh, fucking wild that your best mates happened to be…”

“Your ex and her best friend? Yea, it’s wild,” you said with a laugh and it was then that Jamie felt himself relax and loosen up a little. Your laugh had the power to do so much and the way it was carefree and light, he knew you were maybe comfortable with him again. Like way back when. Maybe.

“Keeley fucking Jones. She just wouldn’t take the hint and leave me the fuck alone,” You said, cracking a smile at the thought.

“She can be a bit like that. Fucking good at trying to make people better, bit like you, really.”

You laughed, “like me? What? A sucker for the broken ones, is she?”

The both of you looked over to see Keeley looking adoringly at Roy and scoffed.

“Listen, are you free tomorrow?” You asked and Jamie was surprised yet again.

“Uh, yeh, did you want to…” he trailed off, tilting his head as if he was trying to read your mind.

“Oh no, not a date. Sorry, just. If you’re free, there’s something I think would be nice if we did it together. But, maybe dress down a bit?”

“What do you mean dress down?” Jamie asked, shocked by your request, “I’m iconic, babe.”

He gestured down to his somewhat flamboyant outfit and you shook your head, “yea, maybe don’t wear that.”

-

< chapter 10 | master list | chapter 12 (FINALE) >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE CHAPTER 10: JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you finally make some progress.

word count: 960 words

warnings: language

-

chapter 10: to be a better man

It took three days for you to think that maybe you deserved better. It started with Michael pulling you into a big hug when you told him you did not think it was going to work out. He went on to reassure you that there was a long line of fit footballers you could choose from because you were, in his words, “fit as fuck”. Then, the multiple messages from Rebecca and Keeley reminding you that you were brave and amazing. Finally, there were the flowers from the De Bryunes as a little cherry on top with a strongly worded reminder about what a wonderful person you were after you messaged Kevin and Michele a sincere and heartfelt apology for being so unavailable.

So, you decided it was time to properly invest in getting better. You had had enough of a go on your own without professional help and it had gotten you nowhere. Sure, you had travelled heaps around the various regions you had been assigned to while away and done some self-care as you had initially grieved. That had been great but then, hyperfocusing on work thereafter had definitely been counterproductive. While it was great that you finally had some semblance of a social life now, calling it progress was a bit of a stretch given you had been processing for four years albeit somewhat half-heartedly.

Seeing Dr Sharon was hard. There was a lot she had needed to set right in the initial sessions. There were a lot of tears and days spent holed up at home trying to grapple with all that had come to pass. But, as the sessions wore on, you could feel some light coming back into your life and the light at the end of a very long, very dark tunnel.

Slowly, you allowed yourself to be around more things football-related. First, it was Nelson Road for an actual in-person appointment with Dr Sharon. Dr Sharon suggested it and you were not about to shy away from the challenge after making as much progress as you had. Although you had spent the better part of 15 minutes hyperventilating outside before stepping foot into the facility, what mattered was you did. Sessions expanded to having lunch and drinks with Keeley and Rebecca in Rebecca’s office. Sure, part of the reason you had had lunch with Rebecca the first time was because you had heard ruckus in the locker room and seen players streaming out as you had started down the stairs so you had retreated to Rebecca’s office for safety. Yes, it might have been rooted in fear initially but being able to be at Nelson Road was progress in itself.

Then, you started attending games with Rebecca and Keeley. The first time, Richmond were playing Aston Villa away and you happened to be in Birmingham to visit a client. Given the meeting was scheduled for a Friday, you had decided to extend your trip to Sunday to give yourself a little bit of breathing room between train journeys. But, that was where the breathing room ended. The other director had taken to you and decided to make a weekend out of it with you as their unwilling partner (something about a bad breakup and ideal girls’ trip).

You: HELP PLEASE. She was chatting to me from outside the cubicle.

Rebecca: Oh god.

Keeley: don’t hate me babes but

Keeley: what about coming to the game?

You: can I sit in the back and scroll through IG the entire time?

You: you know what, doesn’t matter. She is trying to book us in for costume karaoke. I’m in.

You had originally said you would sit in the back and ignore everything going on but were quickly sucked into the spirit of it all. How could you not? It was an exciting one with Richmond kicking a goal to win it all in the last two minutes of the match. Being in and amongst it all had brought back memories, fond memories of attending Man City matches with the De Bryunes as an extra set of hands for the children. You realised in that moment that football was not as painful a memory as you had thought it would be now. So, when the next opportunity arose to join Rebecca and Keeley in the box, you took it and you remembered that look of pride the two had as they pulled you in for a hug when you had agreed.

Taking the step to actually joining in the team celebrations and being around the team took a little more. You had started making regular appearances around Nelson Road and at matches, enough to spark speculations amongst players about your identity. Did Keeley have a new investor? Maybe Rebecca’s personal lawyer?

Jamie sat in the locker room, overcome by a weird feeling of almost deja vu after catching glimpses of you in the hallways. He always managed to dodge you before you caught sight of him, thanks to the recent agility training he had been keeping up but seeing you stirred something within him nonetheless. He remembered the way you laughed and squealed whenever they won. He remembered the way you always hugged him when he needed it. He remembered how you would give him a thumbs up whenever he looked mad about something and how it made his frustrations disappear if only for a second.

“Oh, that’s who you’re talking about. Guess she must know Keeley and Rebecca too but she’s neither an investor nor a lawyer. She works with Michael,” Colin explained one day.

“Whatever her name is, she seems like a good bottle of Nebbiolo. Elegant, understated, well-liked and very, very good.”

Fuck Richard and his perfect fucking analogy, Jamie thought to himself.

-

< chapter 9 | master list | chapter 11 >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 9 - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you receive an offer of help.

word count: 660 words

warnings: language

-

chapter 9: its teaching me

You: Jamie knows.

Keeley: I’ll be there in half an hour.

Rebecca: See you both soon.

You: I’ll leave the door unlocked.

For the first time in months, there were no tears. You had no tears left to shed about this entire saga. Was it a good thing? Was this progress? You were not sure but Keeley and Rebecca had wrapped you up and cuddled you to bits anyway.

“I should apologise first for ghosting the both of you the last couple of months,” you piped up and the two shrugged it off.

“Babes, you were dealing with a lot and sometimes we sort our shit out with people and sometimes we don’t. We knew you’d come around eventually.”

“What she said,” Rebecca said, raising a glass.

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” you replied graciously, peeping out from under your quilt.

“So, out with it then, how’d it all go? You wouldn’t have us here if you didn’t want to tell us.”

You groaned, hiding under your covers again.

“It was awful. Michael started at my workplace a few months ago and we hit it off. He convinced me to go on a blind date with his boyfriend’s teammate and when he said teammate, I thought he meant like an office team. Like the marketing team, you know? Not a fucking premier league team,” you ranted from under your covers.

“Right, Colin’s Michael is your colleague.”

“Yea, Colin. I don’t know. Michael doesn’t follow football so I assumed he wouldn’t be involved with someone whose entire livelihood depends on football. And then, Jamie of all the fucking people on the team has to show up.”

“Babes, you ever considered why that might be? Maybe you guys are better suited for each other than you think,” Keeley asked gently as she stroked your arm.

“It’s not that I don’t like Jamie. Wouldn’t have slept with him if I didn’t. I just…” you sighed, fiddling with your quilt, “I just can’t see us being together now.”

Rebecca huffed, pausing for a moment before she started, “darling, we love you, you know that. So, it really fucking hurts to watch you punish yourself for something you had no control over. I know what you went through was fucking hard and it must hurt like a son of a bitch. I’m not going to diminish your pain and I admire your strength to even get to this point but you have been suffering for a long, long time. Maybe it’s time to let the wound heal? It might leave a scar but scars are beautiful. It shows everyone how strong you are and it makes you you.”

“Yeh, I’ve got one from when I stepped on a sea urchin during a photoshoot.”

You and Rebecca laughed at Keeley’s input and Keeley smiled, “fina-fucking-lly, a smile.”

You heaved a long sigh, “I need help, don’t I?”

“Well, I was thinking about this. Why don’t you see Dr Sharon? She’s the club psychologist,” Rebecca held up her hand when she saw you about to interrupt, “let me finish. She can see you online so you won’t have to go anywhere near Nelson Road if you don’t want to. And, if you don’t feel comfortable with her, I’m sure she will be able to find someone who you can talk to.”

“I appreciate the offer, Rebecca, but I don’t work for the club or do anything related to the club.”

“Well, in a way, it’s related to Jamie and he’s at the club, so as boss, I’ll allow it.”

“I—I…”

“Think about it. You don’t have to say anything right away. When you’re ready, the offer is there if you’d like it.”

“Thanks Rebecca.”

You held out her arms and Rebecca moved from her seat in the corner of the room to give you a squeeze, you and Keeley shuffling to give her room to join you two on the bed. Your bed and heart have never felt this full.

-

< chapter 8 | master list | chapter 10 >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 8 - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you finally tell Jamie.

word count: 450 words

warnings: language, mention of pregnancy loss

-

chapter 8: now I understand

You found yourselves at a park near home sipping on some hot tea, trying to keep the nerves at bay before you lifted a lid on what had been a real nightmare for you.

“It’s not you, Jamie,” you repeated yet again.

“You keep fucking saying that but it don’t mean fucking nothing. I saw you at Keeley’s party. Got me fucking heart racing and everything. That night was fucking good, that. We were so fucking good together and I thought seeing you again…” Jamie trailed off before clearing his throat and continuing, “then I saw your face and you weren’t happy to see me.”

“Jamie…” your heart broke hearing Jamie’s harsh internal monologue. You genuinely had liked him. You probably would still like him had it not all happened the way it did.

“Colin asked me to go on this stupid fucking date. Said his lad had someone perfect for me. I’d usually say no but seeing you, I don’t know. It did something to me head, thought maybe I should meet someone new and just fucking get over you. But, it was a fucking date with you and I just watched you spend two hours looking at me like I’m the fucking worst when I had thought maybe it was a fucking sign that it was you in that seat tonight. So, fucking tell me then, you said I fucking didn’t do nothing but you ghosted me and you look like a fucking ghost everytime I’m around.”

“I was pregnant.”

And in an instance, the air changed entirely. Shock and confusion settled over Jamie as he tried to grasp what you were saying.

“I found out when I got to Australia and it just… it wasn’t viable. I would’ve told you but…” you trailed off as Jamie sat in stunned silence.

“Four years ago? That one fucking time?”

“All it takes, apparently,” you quipped, laughing a little, “and so, it’s less about you and more about me, Jamie. I just… I got too attached too early and I can’t look at you without thinking about it. Would’ve been three this year. Imagine having a toddler.”

“Fuck,” Jamie sighed, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you went through that alone. That’s fucking shit. But, I’m here now. And you’re here. We-“

“There’s no “we”, Jamie,” you cut in a bit more harshly that you had intended. You closed your eyes, rubbing your temple with your fingers before looking back at Jamie.

“I like you, Jamie. Wouldn’t have fucked you if I didn’t,” you laughed sadly, “but I don’t think we can be together.”

Before Jamie had the chance to say anything else, you were standing and walking away after one last “Bye, Jamie”.

< chapter 7 | master list | chapter 9 >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 7 -JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: your blind date is a disaster.

word count: 565 words

warnings: language

-

chapter 7: I say a prayer

You knew from the moment you had gotten in the car that this night was going to be a disaster. You could hear your heart racing in your ears. You prayed and prayed that this “prick with a heart��� was not whom you thought it might be. Alas, your prayers went unanswered because you were now sitting opposite one Jamie Tartt.

“Do you two know each other?” Michael asked curiously after the two had very awkwardly exchanged greetings.

You had paled substantially and were practically catatonic when Jamie had first walked through the door, now settling for being a blubbering mess. Whatever got you through tonight, you thought to yourself. You just needed to survive.

“Erm, yeh, yeh. You could say that.”

“Friend of a friend,” You said, laughing nervously before blabbering on, “one of my dearest childhood friends is Kevin De Bryune. He spent his summers growing up at his grandparents’ who were our neighbours. I saw him heaps. Heaps!”

Michael narrowed his eyes and laughed, “I’ve never seen this side of you. So nervous! How cute! Must be because Jamie’s a premier league footballer. You’re always so cool and calm at work.”

Welp, that made two because you had never been so distressed that you could only act like a complete and utter fool.

Two hours later, the four of you stood outside the restaurant. Thankfully, the night was finally coming to an end. You could go home and pretend it was all a nightmare.

“Well, Colin and I are going to head home. Why don’t you two go on for dessert? Jamie, will you be a dear and make sure she gets home safe?”

Your face froze as you silently begged for Michael and Colin to take you home but they were already halfway down the street when you finally came back to your present situation.

“I know you’re busy. Busy, busy man. I’ll just… I’ll just get a taxi. D-don’t worry about me,” you managed to get out before turning to your phone and trying not to make eye contact.

“Come on, I’ll give you a ride. We don’t have to do nothing. Just… Can’t be letting you take a taxi, be damaging my brand,” Jamie said, registering the level of discomfort and anxiety on your face.

You chewed on your bottom lip before silently following after Jamie to his car.

You mentally swore at Michael and Colin yet again. Did they have to pick a restaurant so far away? It made for such a long and awkward car ride home.

“Look, I know I said you didn’t have to fucking to do nothing but I’m sorry,” Jamie started, “it’s been a fucking long time since we happened and I honest to god don’t fucking remember if I did anything wrong but I probably did because I’m a fucking prick. Coach and Keeley always talk about accountability and that. It’s probably fucking late for it but, still. Sorry.”

You had your eyes trained on your hands, trying to focus on them and failing miserably.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” you said, barely recognizing your strained voice.

“What?” Jamie asked, slightly confused, “I know when I’ve messed up. You don’t have to be pretending, you won’t even look at me fucking face.”

You sighed, “You didn’t do anything wrong, Jamie. It’s all me.”

You paused before continuing, “how about that drink then?”

-

< chapter 6 | master list | chapter 8 >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 6 - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you find a new friend who decides you need to go on a blind date.

word count: 600 words

warnings: language

-

chapter 6: standing in front of me

If ever there was an award for friendship, Keeley and Rebecca would have won it by a landslide. Rebecca had unquestioningly bundled you into her car to be sent home and Keeley made no big deal of it. Neither pushed for you to say more than you were ready to and gave you all the space you needed. You knew you were lucky to have friends like that and felt regretful that you had spent the better part of two months avoiding them because honestly, you were not sure you would ever be ready to face them now that they knew. Afterall, Rebecca and Keeley have known Jamie for much longer than they knew you. Why would they want anything to do with you now that they knew?

You took to doing what you did best, throwing yourself into work because what else were you to do? It also made a great excuse for not seeing Rebecca and Keeley given both were career women themselves and could empathise. They always sounded disappointed when you turned down an invitation but you shrugged it off. They had been fine before they had gotten to know you, they would be fine if you drifted apart. You were absolutely certain of it.

Michael was new to your workplace and you had become fast friends over the time spent together as you guided him through using the systems. You rarely spoke of your personal life in a professional setting but it had been hard not to when Michael was so forthcoming. Eventually, you too succumbed to sharing and became good friends with Michael, often laughing at each other’s trash taste in men.

“At least, that’s a phase I’m over now,” Michael said as he sipped his coffee, “I’m in a committed relationship now.”

You rolled your eyes, “sure, Michael, whatever you say.”

“Genuinely! We’ve been together for a while now.”

“Mmhmmm.”

“Actually, I think he might know someone right up your alley.”

“And, what alley would that be?”

“Prick with a heart?”

You choked on your tea and Michael laughed heartily, “you know I’m right.”

“God, Michael, didn’t have to be so blunt.”

“I disagree, maybe then you’ll actually do something else with your life besides work.”

“I do other stuff,” You responded a little defensively and Michael arched a brow as you continued, “besides, I’m not on the market.”

“You’re single. You’re always on the market.”

Which was how you found yourself dressed up for your first date in a while. It was not that you did not date. To be fair, you had actually tried a long time ago in an effort to move on while you had been away but something about it all made you feel icky inside. Yet, here you were. Michael had refused to take no for an answer, citing having found you the perfect match. You found yourself agreeing to just one date with the promise you never had to entertain such a ridiculous idea ever again when it inevitably did not work out. Michael agreed to your terms as long as you let him and his partner pick you up because he did not trust you to not stand them up.

A lamborghini pulled up and Michael had his head out of the passenger window as he beckoned you to get in. You complied, laughing at the absurdity of the situation but only for a second because you found yourself face-to-face with AFC Richmond player Colin Hughes.

-

< chapter 5 | master list | chapter 7 >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 5 - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: the cat is out the bag.

word count: 840 words

warnings: language, sexual references

-

chapter 5: got so distracted

Rebecca was a miracle worker. She empathised in a way you did not think anyone would ever, she said all the right things and you swore a part of your soul healed up just from being in her presence. And, Rebecca must have liked you too because you found herself being sucked into her life as well.

You really appreciated and loved these women in your life. Truly and genuinely, you did. Growing up, your two sisters were both over a decade older than her and your parents were too busy with their careers to pay you much heed. So, Keeley and Rebecca’s presence was something you been seeking out in life, especially after your grandparents’ passing. To have them enter your life like this was such a godsend. But, it would be remiss of you not to acknowledge the risk you accepted in letting them be around. They were too close. You were getting too close. You were going to become Icarus, flying too close to the sun.

You gulped down the wine trying to quiet the voice in your head. You knew it was right. You knew you were getting pulled more and more into the AFC Richmond world you were so desperately avoiding. You had already turned down numerous invites to the owner’s box, finding it hard to laugh when Keeley jokingly suggested meeting and shagging one of the fit footballers in the team to move forward. Then, there was the charity gala. You counted your lucky stars that it coincided with a work trip that had already been scheduled. But, Keeley’s birthday party. That had been impossible to avoid.

“You’ll come, yeh?” Keeley asked.

You hummed evasively in response and Keeley groaned loudly, flopping over on the couch.

“Oi, it’s my fucking birthday, yeh. And, you’re one of my best friends, yeh. So, I’m going to need you to pull on your big girl knickers and not avoid everything football-related. You are going to be there. Rebecca is swinging by to pick you on her way.”

You could feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand and you blinked back tears. Of course you wanted to go. Of course you wanted to be there for Keeley. But, it was also pretty much guaranteed that the one person you had done a stellar job of avoiding for years would be there. Everything you had done for yourself felt like it would crumble.

Nevertheless, when the day of the party rolled around, you dressed up in what little fun clothes you had and went along. Surely, you could duck out before Jamie even arrived, right?

“You’re a ball of panic,” Rebecca observed as you fidgeted constantly by the bar while waiting for the bartender to pour the drinks.

“Yea. I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay,” you repeated, more to convince yourself than anyone else.

Rebecca raised a brow, grabbing your arm supportively, “I’m not sure what’s going on with you right now but I’m here for you. Keeley is here for you.”

You looked at her and Rebecca registered the tears that had formed in your eyes, “Thanks, Rebecca, I might leave early.”

“We’ve got you,” Rebecca repeated, pulling you into a comforting hug.

-

Rebecca and Keeley were anything but silly so you were not sure how you had managed to fool them for as long as you did. But, the gig was up today.

The three stood in a corner, drinking champagne and making merry. You had consumed enough alcohol to feel relaxed enough to enjoy the evening, forget about your plans to duck out and forget about Jamie. Until, you saw him in the flesh making his way towards the three of you. Of course he would, it was Keeley’s birthday.

Your expression hardened and you paled visibly, worrying Rebecca and Keeley.

“Everything good there, babes?”

You gulped, blinking at Keeley, “yea, I’m all right, I’m okay.”

You laughed awkwardly as you looked around, searching for an escape.

Keeley turned to see what might have spooked you and it clicked when she saw Jamie wave and slowly make his way towards the three of you.

Keeley turned back, “oh my god. Oh. My. God. It was Jamie, wasn’t it?”

“Pardon?” Rebecca asked, not quite following Keeley’s train of thought.

But they had their answer when you polished off your glass, slammed it down harder than you meant to and muttered, “I have to go.”

“Manchester, you were in Manchester when Jamie was there. The dad, it was Jamie. It’s not football you’re avoiding, it’s Jamie.”

“I have to go,” you repeated more firmly as you turned to stumble away from the group. Your world was spinning and you did not know whether it was the alcohol or the panic attack. You crouched down outside, back against a tree, struggling to breathe.

You really only had a minute or two to yourself before Rebecca was there, pulling you into a steadying embrace.

“You’re okay.”

Tears streamed down your face as you quietly sobbed.

-

< chapter 4 | master list | chapter 6 >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 4 - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you find solace in the arms of Richmond folk.

word count: 500 words

warnings: language, mention of pregnancy loss

-

chapter 4: you picked me up

Breakfast had been good. Keeley had brought you your usual big breakfast and there was nothing more comforting than gorging yourself on some greasy food first thing in the morning. Now, you two were sitting on the couch sipping green juice while watching some crummy TV movie.

Then, it happened. It all escalated so quickly you could not be sure of how any of it unfolded but you swore the universe had done it on purpose. Keeley knocked over her juice while reaching for the remote and your instinct had been to retrieve the book on the coffee table, fearing damage to what you had tucked inside. But with all the hullabaloo, your grip had not been tight and the unsecured print came flying out, settling near Keeley’s feet, print side up.

“Fuck, sorry, I’m such a klutz when I’m hungover,” Keeley had said as she cleaned up the mess on the table. She glanced down at her feet for a moment, doing a double take when it registered what had fallen there.

Keeley bent over and you racked her brain trying to find a plausible excuse for what Keeley was looking at.

“Babes, what is this? What’s going on?” Keeley asked, confused.

You closed your eyes trying your best to keep breathing through it all, “babes, this is an ultrasound. Your ultrasound…”

And for the second time in your life, you muttered the words “I was pregnant”.

-

Rebecca Welton was a force of nature. She had to be. Being the owner of a football team was tough enough even without adding the bonus of being female in a male-dominated industry. The woman was everything you aspired to be when you grew up (except maybe the AFC Richmond part). So, you were slightly embarrassed that the first time you met Rebecca, you had been crying under your covers.

Keeley had dragged you to bed the moment the words had left your mouth. She gently put you to bed and gave you a great big hug, letting you sob into her shoulder.

“That why you pale everytime those crappy movies have a baby in it?”

“I do—“ you started to deny before realising there was no point pretending, “yes.”

“And why you bail whenever Roy turns up with Phoebe?”

You silently nodded.

“Aw babe, I’m sorry. I don’t fully know what it’s like but I know someone who can talk to not becoming a mum when they wanted to be?”

“Sure,” you agreed quietly, focusing on your pillow.

No more than an hour later, Keeley led Rebecca through your flat to your room, quickly introducing you because Rebecca certainly needed no introduction.

Rebecca sat on the edge of your bed, “I don’t know you and you don’t know me. Sometimes, that makes it easier to talk about these things because there’s no judgement.”

You sat up, leaning against your headboard, completely aware of how frazzled you looked. Pulling your knees up and into your chest, you started from the beginning, being careful to leave Jamie’s name out of it all.

-

< chapter 3 | master list | chapter 5 >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 3 - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: in spite of your best efforts, you make a Richmond connection.

word count: 1.1k

warning: language, mention of pregnancy loss

-

chapter 3: showed me how to live again

In a way, telling De Bryune had been so freeing. Why you had not told anyone before was beyond you. A weight lifted off your chest and you felt ready to live again. You were ready to move forward.

You started socialising again, coming out of the shell that had formed in the last few years to rediscover some old friendships and make some new ones. No one knew and no one needed to know. You just needed to remember you had more life to live, even without baby Lemy.

It had probably been close to ten years since you had last seen Emma so it was a much anticipated catch-up. Good food, good company, good vibes. You were solidly on your journey back to becoming yourself when you felt your world change again in a second.

The bell rang at the restaurant signaling another group entering. You paid no attention to the bell, until Emma stood and squealed.

“KEELEY FUCKING JONES!”

“EMMA FUCKING GRANT!”

Your breath caught in your throat. You recognized that name, you knew that face. It had been impossible not to come across Keeley’s face when you had looked up Jamie for research purposes that fateful day. You thought you had figured out how to avoid Jamie Tartt. Afterall, it had been months and you had done a splendid job so far. What you had not expected was having mutual friends with Keeley Jones.

You forced a smile, trying to keep a pleasant demeanor while the panic set in. You felt the restaurant starting to narrow.

“Keeley, meet my friend from university,” Emma said to Keeley, gesturing to you before turning to you and continuing with, “Keeley and I met on set when I did that parttime job as an extra in university. Remember?”

You did remember. In fact, you had egged her on to do it. Ah, what a cruel twist of fate. Had she not done that, you would not be trying to keep yourself together through these pleasantries.

”She has just moved back to London after spending a few years abroad. You guys should totally hang out!”

Ah, fuck. You mentally swore at Emma. Bless her cotton socks for trying to help you make friends but fuck her for choosing Keeley Jones.

You prayed in the moment that this was one of those times everyone said “we should definitely do that” and never do it. Because the last thing you needed was to spend time with the ex-flame of one Jamie Tartt. The further you could be from his orbit the better because you knew if you got too close, he could suck you in again. He would do that, you knew. His gravitational pull was just too strong.

-

Unfortunately for you, Keeley was not the kind of person to not follow through on hanging out. In fact, she had been so keen that you found yourself at yet another dinner the next day with Keeley and Emma. It had not been for a lack of trying on your part to get out of it but the sweethearts made every effort to accommodate your needs, delaying dinner to an ungodly hour and reserving a restaurant near your office.

”You’re very quiet tonight,” Emma observed.

“Yea, sorry, big week at work. I’m exhausted,” you apologised easily, taking another big swig of your wine.

“I don’t bite, babes,” Keeley quipped, “not much anyway.”

Keeley and Emma roared with laughter and you smiled as the two chattered on. You really just had to get through this one dinner with Keeley and you would be able to get on with life.

“Babes, we are going to be best mates, yeh? Next time Em’s in town, she’s going to be fucking livid she fucked off to Oxford.”

You forced a smile and nodded but neither really waited for you to react as they continued on their own trip down memory lane. Some people might have found it exclusive but you knew it was not personal. You just did not have much to offer to the conversation. Afterall, you did not want to be there. So, you took comfort in not having to share more than you wanted to. This was but a blip in the matrix of your life and it would all go back to normal soon.

Except it did not.

Keeley genuinely stuck to her word that she was going to become your best friend, completely dashing your hopes and dreams of a lonely uneventful life in London. You remained steadfast in your position that Jamie probably had the strongest magnetic pull an individual could have but Keeley was a very close second. You knew anyone remotely close to Keeley would be sucked into her orbit and that was not a bad thing. In fact, you had come to enjoy Keeley’s presence. Her energy was both refreshing and energising while being calming and relaxing. She could have been the perfect best friend, if only Keeley had nothing to do with one Jamie Tartt. But maybe, if you were careful and only met with Keeley in certain settings or situations, it could work. Maybe.

It was another Saturday and Keeley had brought brunch to your place as was routine now. It had become a little bit of a ritual for the two of you to have breakfast together on Saturdays like a little faux therapy session. You had come to look forward to them and you were just so pleased to have found a safe space for you and Keeley to be friends. As long as you met in an environment you could control like your home, you knew Jamie would not be a problem. He could not be a problem.

You were really in need of a ‘session’ today to serve as a distraction from some pretty strong memories. Afterall, this was the day that you found yourself alone in a hospital waiting to have the surgery done many years ago. It had been an extremely challenging affair and the day had changed your life. For so many years now, you had allowed it to define your life, distinctly separating everything into either pre-Lemy and post-surgery. So, every year, it felt apt to pause and think about it. Was it weird that you felt the need to grieve and be sad twice a year? Maybe. Was it unhealthy? Probably. Did you need it? Absolutely.

You stared at your sonogram again, taking a moment to grieve but also thank your past self for being so brave and comforting her for the tough choices she made on her own. You would have probably basked in her sorrows for longer had Keeley not been knocking on the door. You haphazardly shoved the little print in a book on your coffee table before letting Keeley in. You just needed to keep living.

-

< chapter 2 | master list | chapter 4 >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 2 - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you recall the painful loss.

word count: 560

warnings: mention of pregnancy loss

-

chapter 2: saw what state I was in

Later that evening, you found yourself lying on the couch, sonogram in hand as you thought about everything leading up to today.

You recalled that vague sense of indecision when you first registered the two lines on the pregnancy test. But, honestly, it lasted only a second or two because you quickly resolved yourself to keeping your baby. It was going to be your baby, your little baby Lemy. It did not matter whether or not Jamie was going to be there for the ride or not.

You rested your hand on your belly which now held nothing but thought about when your baby rested in there. You thought about the love you had for baby Lemy long before it became much more than that. You knew you were going to shower it with far more love than it would ever know what to do with. And, perhaps it had been thoughts like that that had been your downfall. You had gotten too attached far too early because it had been a steep decline into despair. While the blood work had shown positive signs of pregnancy, Lemy was on the smaller side during scans.

Nothing to worry about, you chanted to yourself in an effort to manifest destiny. Alas, it was never to be. When you went for the follow-up scan, you recognized the ultrasound technician’s expression long before the news left her mouth.

“Your pregnancy is not viable.”

You had a vague memory of the discussions you had on next steps with the Doctor and making the decision for the surgery. You remembered feeling alone when you went in. You remembered seeing others supported by their loved ones while no one even knew the position you were in.

You threw yourself into your work because what else were you going to do? All the plans you had made had been thrown out the window when you thought you might have another to care for. But now that that was not happening, you could not remember a single thing you had wanted to do besides cuddle baby Lemy. The pregnancy had really only spanned two weeks of your life. But, you had spent every waking minute of every day thinking about names and looking at baby furniture so losing baby Lemy had left a big hole in your heart.

Seeing Kevin had been difficult. You had done an adequate job at keeping all your emotions at bay on your own while away but Kevin knew you too well. It was too hard to keep it a secret from him in person and he had provided everything you had needed in the moment. He had been a safe space for you to talk about what had happened and to cry about what had not. He held you, not saying too much as you sobbed into his shoulder.

“Are you ever going to tell him?” He asked.

You shrugged, “Kevin, you’re the first person I’ve ever told. I’m not sure I can imagine telling anyone else right now.”

Kevin nodded, “tell him, don’t tell him, do what’s right for you. Just remember whether it’s from him or not, you’re not alone and you have support.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, I’m sorry. I have to go now, I was due back at the stadium half an hour ago. We love you, yea?”

-

< chapter 1 | master list | chapter 3 >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 1 - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you finally tell someone.

word count: 1.1k

warnings: language, mention of pregnancy loss

-

chapter 1: my own worst enemy

It was a cold, wet spring morning in March. It was the annual day of grieving. You always took the day off work to give yourself time to sit at home and wallow. Thankfully, it fell on a weekend this year so you were free to be miserable all in your lonesome.

Or, at least you had planned to until the EPL fixtures messed up your plans.

Man City was coming down to London for a match. De Bryune was not playing. God forbid, not with his injury but he was more than happy to be around to provide some moral support. However, given he did not actually have a game to play, he found a nice gap in his schedule to catch up.

When he first told you, your mouth went instantly dry. He had been so excited, there was no way you could sour his mood by declining the invitation to hang out. But, you also knew your gig was up. You had managed to keep a somewhat neutral line of communication and not give anything away while you were away. There was no way you would be able to keep that up face-to-face. Especially not on the one day every year you had to be completely vulnerable with yourself.

You heard the buzzer and inhaled deeply, summoning whatever strength you had to at least keep up some facade for the next hour or so.

You opened the door to a beyond excited De Bryune. It was infectious and you could not help but smile back as he pulled you into the biggest hug, swinging you around. You squealed in response and laughed as he replaced you on the ground.

“Took you forever to find your way back. Did you get lost?” He joked, as he shrugged off his outerwear.

“Work was always busy,” you reasoned calmly. It was only a half lie. It had genuinely gotten hectic as you slowly climbed the corporate ladder. Too hectic for a trip back to England? Probably not. Afterall, you had managed multiple trips around Australia and Asia. But, it was as good an excuse as any.

“How is it being back? How have you been?”

“I’m fine,” you shrugged a response as you popped into your kitchen.

“Tea?” you offered, not really waiting for a response as you popped two mugs on the countertop and threw a teabag into each.

De Bryune looked at you funnily as he took a seat at your tiny dining table.

“Who sent you flowers?” Kevin asked conversationally upon spying the fresh bouquet in the corner of your kitchen.

“No one, I bought them,” you responded hesitantly.

“Oh, who are you giving them to?”

“N-no one.”

Kevin raised an eyebrow, “but you don’t buy flowers for yourself. You said before that it was sad and pathetic.”

Shoot, you forgot you had said that to him once. What he did not know was that you indulged in flowers once a year as a remembrance gift to Lemy.

You spun round, frown set firmly on your face as you replied a little defensively, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Kevin laughed, raising his hands as if he was surrendering, “yes, yes, everyone changes. You’ve become prickly,” he commented and you looked up, a little put upon at being called out.

“Am I?” you asked, trying to cover over it before asking, “How is Michele? How is everything at home?”

“Good, good. She says hi. Everyone at home is wondering when you’ll come visit. Mason and Rome want to show you their new baby brother.”

“Mmhmmm,” you paled a little at the mention of his kids. You should have known there was no way this man would not mention his clan but the last thing you needed right now was any reminders of children. Or, specifically the baby you did not have.

You turned away, busying yourself with brewing the tea. De Bryune cocked his head at your odd behaviour and waited for you to join him at the table before continuing the conversation.

“So?”

“So?” you repeated.

“How’s work been?”

You quietly sighed with relief that Kevin had moved onto what felt like a ‘safe’ topic, “good, good. Busy but good. There is so much to do now and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all. Like, I’m supposed to be making some of these decisions and I don’t want to.”

You laughed a little as did he, glad to see some life in you. There was a long lull and De Bryune was slightly unsettled by how little you had to say. The friend he had would have wanted to know what every player had been up to and how they were. The friend he had would have asked about the match today. The friend he had would have asked for a detailed rundown of everything the children had been up to but there was a tension in the air that was palpable and told him that none of these topics were safe for you.

“What’s going on?” He tried again as you fidgeted endlessly with your mug.

“Nothing,” you responded, furrowing your brows. You looked up at De Bryune, stubbornly trying to prove your point but it only proved his when he saw how dull your eyes were. You looked like a shell of your warm and vibrant self.

“What?”

Oops. He might have said that last but out loud.

“You just look like a shell of yourself. What is going on?”

“Nothing,” you answered again, unconvincingly.

“Why do you keep lying to me?”

“I’m no—“ you started but De Bryune’s stern look stopped you mid-sentence.

“I’ve known you since you were 9. Why do you think I wouldn’t know? You sound like you’re lying to stay out of trouble but you’re not in trouble? Not with me, at least. You know, I’m always here for you, to help you. And if not me, you can also lean on Michele.”

You opened your mouth and then closed it again because you could not find the right words. So many years of running, so much time spent alienating them and here Kevin was treating you with such grace and love. You did not deserve this. You hung your head and you could hear him shuffle.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you but I’ll get out of your hair if that’s what you need right now.”

You felt your lower jaw slacken. It was not that you wanted to push him away, you just found it easier than talking. But if not now with Kevin, when would you ever be ready to talk?

“I was pregnant,” you mumbled quietly to yourself, more as practice at sounding the words out than anything else. The words felt weird coming from your mouth.

“What?” Kevin asked. Maybe he heard wrong.

You looked up, tears in your eyes as you repeated yourself. Your voice was shaky but the words were clear as day when you spoke, “I was pregnant.”

-

< prologue | master list | chapter 2 >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: PROLOGUE - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: a crush leads to a one night stand leads to four years away from England.

word count: 1.5k

warnings: language, sexual references, pregnancy loss.

-

prologue: didn’t know what to do with myself

Before Keeley, there had been you.

You had been off limits. Everyone knew that. It had been an unwritten rule at Man City. At first, it was out of respect for De Bryune (and partly because no one wanted to suffer his wrath if they broke your heart). But then, everyone got to know you and it became evident that the rule had to stand. You were affable to a fault and you had this knack for drawing people out no matter how hard their exterior was. Everyone loved you and there was no way anyone could pursue you without a potential falling out with the team if things went pear-shaped so no one did.

Until Jamie.

Jamie was still living in his Prince of Pricks era but even he struggled with not becoming enamoured by you. You were always so sincere and genuinely interested in him (and anyone) as a person that he grappled with having actual feelings for you. Jamie did not do actual feelings. Not even a little bit.

Jamie made every effort to push you away and out of his life but you made it impossible. Despite how much of a prick he had been to you, you had unabashedly pulled him into a long, long, long hug after chancing upon an encounter because Jamie and his dad. To say it had not gone down well would be putting it mildly but the way you had wordlessly walked up to him and pulled him into a long, tight hug had said it all and had undone all the walls Jamie had tried to put up.

It was the last post-season celebration Jamie would attend for a while. He was going to be loaned to Richmond next year and he would be leaving soon. Who knows when he would be back? If ever there was a time to shoot his shot, it was now.

Which worked out perfectly.

Your time in Manchester was never permanent. You had moved from London for a promotion. It had worked out well that De Bryune was in Manchester and your friendship meant you instantly befriended a literal team of people. It had made life in Manchester far more interesting and fun but you had been offered another promotion which involved yet another relocation. It was much further away this time and unfortunately, you knew no one there. But, it fulfilled your dream of living overseas. So, while De Bryune had been disappointed that one of his key connections to life outside of football was due to leave, he could only send you off with his well wishes.

“I’m really happy for you. I know how much you dreamt of moving away and seeing the world and now you will.”

You smiled, “took a lot longer to make my dream come true compared to you though.”

“It’s not a competition,” De Bryune chided before continuing, “you know, if you have other dreams, you should work on them too.”

You hummed softly to yourself as you ignored the underlying meaning to Kevin’s comment.

He cleared his throat and continued, “fine, don’t talk to me about it. But we’ve known each other since we were kids. As much as I hate that you do, I know you like Jamie. And I’m pretty sure Jamie likes you. He’s a prick but pretty sure that’s a shell. Probably didn’t need to tell you that. So, my point is, you’re off soon as is he. If you want to make your feelings known before you go, you’ve got my blessing.”

Kevin tapped his empty bottle against the railing on the balcony of Rodri’s house where the post-season celebration was underway.

“Think on it. You deserve to be happy,” Kevin said before whispering, “even if it’s with a prick.”

You laughed, “thanks, Kev, but I am already happy.”

Later that night, as the party fragmented, you found yourself with Jamie through it all. Whether it was playing darts as a team or having a chat about your years ahead with him off to Richmond and you across the world to Australia, you two were joined at the hip.

You excused yourself for the bathroom and found what Kevin had said weighing heavily on your mind. Snap out of it, you repeated over and over in your head.

It had all been too much. Sitting with Jamie all night after Kevin went home to Michele and the boys. Then, playing snooker together had really taken its toll. He had been so incredibly nice despite how terrible you had been. He quietly praised you and even hugged you when you pocketed a ball. You had been overwhelmed and it did not help that you had been drinking since noon.

So, when you emerged from the bathroom to find him there, boring his eyes into yours as he checked up on you, you found yourself succumbing to the urge to kiss him. And while Jamie knew he was not supposed to, since when did Jamie listen to rules?

-

For the first month or so that you were away, you kept up some communication with Jamie. The occasional message commenting on each other’s Instagram pictures. Then, Jamie noticed that the messages became less frequent and a lot more distant. At some point, he realised you never initiated conversation anymore and he would never admit it but it broke his heart.

So, Jamie did the usual Jamie thing of covering it up by fucking the next fit model he met - Keeley Jones.

-

It had been four years, four long years. You had spent all of it overseas, not once did you return to England because why would you?

Your family had dispersed as everyone had grown up. Sure, your parents did still live in England. They had moved to Oxford since your dad retired and your mum received an offer to continue her research at the university there but if anyone understood being away for work, it was them. Your own sisters had long left England with one moving to Germany with her husband after he had been transferred there and the other moving to Canada for her own career. So, your move to Australia was almost expected. Anticipated. Celebrated, even

It sounded harsh but it was true. Your parents had had you late in life and you were completely aware you had been an accident, a little blip in their perfectly planned out lives. Mum was always busy with her research while Dad spent the bulk of his time working away as legal counsel for a big multinational corporation. Much of your time growing up had been spent with your grandparents. You would have dropped everything and returned to England for them in a heartbeat but they had both passed not long after you had graduated so in a way, there was no family to visit in England.

Friends-wise, a good chunk of them were similarly gallivanting around the world. Otherwise, they were starting families like Kevin and that was just not where you were at in life. And, it was not like you did not want to start a family. You almost had but then, it had not quite worked out that way. Which was incidentally a big part of the reason why you had avoided England, despite every excuse you used to justify travelling around Asia Pacific instead of going anywhere near the UK.

You were horrified when you had been called into your boss’ office to be offered a promotion which required your immediate repatriation back to England.

“What about that role in Amsterdam we discussed? There was also that role in Tokyo since Masuda is leaving?”

“Yes but I think you’ll find this offer much more attractive.”

And you had. These roles came about once in a blue moon, usually because of a retirement (on occasion, it had been due to a person’s demise but no one talked about that). You knew you had to take it but you also knew it meant being back in England which you had avoided for good reason. But, maybe, there was enough distance between London and Manchester. They were not separated by an ocean but a few hours would be far enough. Afterall, his loan should be over by now.

That was what you repeated to yourself, trying to reassure yourself each moment you felt the panic grip you. It worked until you encountered a bus on your way to work one morning with an advertisement for some stupid dating app called Bantr. It was absolutely not something you were interested in but the familiar face on the ad caught your eye. You took a second look and you were immediately confronted with an image of Jamie Tartt in a Richmond kit.

Oh fuck, you might have made a minor miscalculation. You googled him as soon as you were on the tube to work and slumped into the seat when you realised he had signed to Richmond.

Almost nine million people in London, surely you could go without seeing him.

-

master list | chapter 1 >

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: a one night stand ends with disastrous results. a story of loss, healing and growth.

word count: ~11k

warnings: language, sexual references, mention of pregnancy loss.

a/n: omg, I can’t believe I’m posting my first series in almost two decades (I’m fkn old). thank you to @its-time-to-write for motivating me to finish this, genuinely could not/would not have done it without her. idk how people write series, it was fkn draining. especially at towards the end, I may or may not have cried. fic may or may not be based on a personal experience. to anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss before, I’m sorry and I’m here for you. drop me a message if you need someone to talk to.

title and chapter titles are from james morrison’s precious love.

prologue: didn’t know what to do with myself

chapter 1: my own worst enemy

chapter 2: saw what state I was in

chapter 3: showed me how to live again

chapter 4: you picked me up

chapter 5: got so distracted

chapter 6: standing in front of me

chapter 7: I say a prayer

chapter 8: now I understand

chapter 9: its teaching me

chapter 10: to be a better man

chapter 11: there that I see

chapter 12: from heaven above

[tarttheart]

KNITWORTHY - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you pick up knitting and Jamie could not be more supportive.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: language

1.

The first time you made anything for Jamie, it was a plain pair of socks in a sandy beige colour. It was nothing fancy and you were certain one side was longer than the other. It had been a long time since you last knit so you were just happy to have finished something after impulsively picking up some yarn and needles again after work one day. Work had been manic and you were looking for something to help you unwind each night. Picking up the needles again just seemed right.

“I love them. Babe, these are fucking amazing,” Jamie proclaimed.

You probably would not have believed Jamie solely based on his words but his awestruck expression spoke heaps to how he felt. And, if that had not been enough, watching him proudly pull them on in the morning to wear to Nelson Road was all the proof you needed that the man was knit-worthy.

Knitted socks were not the most common sight around Nelson Road, especially not on one Jamie Tartt. Sports socks had long been his sock of choice until recently. While the beige socks had gotten a couple of curious looks, it was nothing too peculiar given how temperatures had dropped in the past week or so. It seemed a simple and effective solution to keeping warm, so effective that a few others decided to jump on the bandwagon.

“My toes feel like they’re at the beach in Chacala. I can hear the waves calling,” Dani quipped the first time he tried wearing woolly socks to training.

“Me too, boyo, it doesn’t even matter I look like I’m wearing my granddad’s socks,” Colin agreed.

2.

You had gotten hooked on knitting hats. After making yourself three in the span of a month, you were on the hunt for more heads to make beanies for. Luckily, Jamie kindly volunteered and even got involved with the process, choosing a bold, variegated yarn for his beanie. It took no time at all and within a week of casting on, Jamie was rocking his new headwear at Nelson Road.

It was definitely an unusual sight, not seeing an ICON cap atop Jamie’s head but with how chilly it had been, no one thought too much about it.

“I didn’t realise you wore beanies,” Keeley commented one day as she passed him in the hallway.

“Fuck yeh, I do now,” Jamie replied.

“Looks good,” Keeley offered and Jamie practically bounced away much to Keeley’s amusement.

He came home to tell you about how good your beanies looked and it had to be true because Keeley said so and Keeley knows all about fashion.

“Babe, babe, I think you could fucking sell these and making a fucking fortune,” Jamie continued excitedly and you laughed.

3.

Following the success of the first pair of socks, you knew another pair had to be made. It took a little while but when you chanced upon a yarn colourway called “Tart”, you were sold. Sure, it probably was not a colour in Jamie’s usual colour palette but it was a nice wine colour that you were confident he would look good in regardless.

The last pair of socks had been a real plain vanilla pair of socks and having had a little more practice now, you were ready to dive into something more textured for Jamie’s second pair of socks.

You were pretty proud of the end product and you swore Jamie lit up brighter than the New York City skyline when you handed them over. He had been eagerly awaiting their completion, watching you like a hawk each night and trying to figure out when you would have them done. One pair of woolly socks just was not enough to satisfy the man now that he had gotten a taste of toasty toes.

Jamie gave you no time or opportunity to wash the socks before he wore them. He needed these socks in his life right away and you were happy to oblige. Jamie excitedly wore his socks to Nelson Road the next day which caught a few more eyes this time. Afterall, it was even more of an unusual look for Jamie.

“Pretty sure those are hand knitted,” Bumbercatch commented from across the locker room one day as the resident knitting know-it-all.

“Yeh, his mum probably made it for him, bruv,” Issac said dismissively.

It had been a fair guess. Afterall, no one knew you existed. You were a naturally private person and you knew all that came with being Jamie’s girlfriend. What if it didn’t last and you had to then deal with all the fallout? Jamie understood and you agreed you two could go semi-public after Christmas if you guys were still together then. While Jamie had initially been disappointed, he came to really enjoy having something that was truly his. No media, no team chatter.

*

Jamie decided he had been benefitting too much from your new hobby without properly compensating you for your time and effort. Remembering that Bumbercatch was an avid knitter, Jamie stopped him one day seeking advice on tools he could get you to further your craft.

“What would you get as a present for a knitter?” Jamie asked Bumbercatch after everyone else had emptied from the locker room.

“Yarn is always good. There’s local yarn shop a few blocks away that has a good selection and they have some good tools too,” Bumbercatch offered.

With Christmas round the corner, Bumbercatch did not think much about it. Based on what he had been led to believe, Jamie was likely buying something for his mum.

4.

It had been a real labour of love. When Jamie had presented you with a beyond generous amount on a gift card and a set of fancy interchangeable needles, you knew you had to go big for his Christmas present. It had been a little hard to hide all the balls of yarn you had had to buy. It was even trickier trying not to make his present in front of him because you knew you would crack and tell him what it was the moment he gave you his big adoring eyes. But, all the late nights spent knitting out of Jamie’s sight and afternoons spent hiding in cafes to knit had been worth it.

“Babe, you fucking made this?”

You had been so excited to present him your pièce de résistance you were practically vibrating as he held up the cream cabled sweater vest. You knew it was not his usual look but it felt special making something not basic for Jamie.

“I know it’s not exactly the Jamie Tartt style but I wanted to do something more instead of just a basic knit. I would’ve made you a sweater but I didn’t want the sweater curse to come true so I thought maybe a vest would be a good loophole? You don’t have to wear it out or at a—…”

Jamie did not let you finish blabbering because he grabbed your face to plant an appreciative kiss on your lips.

“I’m fucking wearing this everywhere, love, this thing is fucking magic,” Jamie proclaimed and you were not quite sure what he meant by magic but you appreciated the thought anyway.

The first day back at training after Christmas had most buzzing. It was always nice and energizing to have a good break with loved ones, whether it was spent with their own families or Higgins’. But, when Jamie walked in in his cozy cream cabled sweater vest like he was in a hallmark movie, the whole facility stilled.

“Morning, lads,” Jamie greeted, paying no attention to way the room had quietened after his entry.

Bumbercatch nudged Colin who stood next to him, “I think Jamie has a girlfriend.”

“What’s got you thinking that, boyo?”

“That vest. It’s a recent release online by a big knitwear designer. It’s not a mum pattern. See?”

Colin and Isaac looked at the page on Bumbercatch’s phone and he was right. The vest Jamie was wearing looked almost identical to the one in the photo.

“It could—…”

Sick of all the speculations, Isaac turned and yelled out to Jamie, “BRUV!”

“Yea, man? What’s got your knickers in a twist?”

“Your vest. Who made it?”

“Oh,” Jamie paused for a moment before remembering that Christmas had passed and it was now safe for him to answer, “me girlfriend. She’s a fucking knitting genius.”

[tarttheart]

DESIGNATED DRIVER - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: you spend a night out before Jamie picks you up and takes you home.

word count: 800+

warnings: language, alcohol consumption

It was Friday night. One of your good friends from work was leaving which could only mean it was going to be a long fucking night out on the town.

You messaged Jamie to let him know you would be home late and not to wait up because lord alone knew what time you would actually be done.

Jamie: text when you’re done yeh? I’ll come get ya

You: don’t worry about it, I’ll take a taxi.

You smiled and pocketed your phone appreciating the thought but not wanting to trouble your boyfriend who was going to be up at 4am to start his daily workout.

It was the third bar of the night and you were about nine drinks deep and making merry with your workmates. Everyone laughed at the odd tales another colleague’s girlfriend brought to the table and reminisced about all the crazy nights they had had prior to this one.

One more stop, one more stop. It was your last drink of the night and you watched on as the group played darts. It had been a long one and you were tired. What you would give to teleport home and snuggle up to Jamie. You smiled at the thought although you knew the last thing you wanted to do was wake him when you got into bed that night. Poor thing definitely needed his beauty sleep.

Jamie: surely you’re done soon?

You: go to sleep babe, I’ll be heading home soon.

Jamie: don’t move a fucking muscle, I’ll be there soon.

You supported one of your managers in his quest to stay upright while the rest of the group finished their game of darts before everyone made their way to the nearby kebab shop. While you were hungry, a kebab just did not seem appealing. There was no way you would feel comfortable taking a messy kebab into Jamie’s expensive car. Even though you knew he would tolerate it for you, you were also well aware that it would hurt his soul if you got anything dirty.

You stood with the group as everyone took their time finishing their kebabs on the side of the road.

“What are you waiting for?” One of them asked as you stood without any food and had made no effort to hail down a taxi yet.

“My boyfriend is coming to pick me.”

“Ooooooh,” one of your friends teased.

You blushed. While it was common knowledge that you had a boyfriend, his identity remained a mystery to most. He never joined the merriment given his strict workout regimen and you never brought it up because the last thing you wanted it to sound like was bragging. Yes, most of your mates were guys and they were not going to ask to be hooked up with a soccer player but it still was not something you were going to openly advertise.

“That’s a sick car,” one of the guys commented as the flashy car you know so well made its way down the street.

“Well, that’s my ride,” you said as casually as you could while waving Jamie down to the surprise of the group.

“Holy fucking shit,” another colleague swore, “is that Jamie Tartt?”

You got in and gave Jamie a little peck before waving your final goodbye to some of the shocked faces. You felt bad that one of your best friends from work was going to have to field the questions but not enough to dwell on it.

“Do you work with any girls?” Jamie asked and you knew it came from a place of curiosity and not jealousy. Okay, maybe a little bit of jealousy.

“I do, they’ve already left.”

“Right, right. Drank them under the table, did yeh? How much have you had to drink, love?”

You slowly counted up the rounds in your head before responding with a sheepish “11”.

Jamie shook his head and laughed. Your alcohol tolerance was one of those things that surprised most people and while you were slightly embarrassed by its implications, you were also proud of being able to hold your own in a male-dominated team. Being able to drink your weight in alcohol meant you had been quickly accepted as one of the team and it made a chunk of your job so much easier when you were able to become friendly with most of your colleagues over a pint or ten. Whether that was fair or not was debatable but you felt lucky to benefit from it.

Jamie grabbed the bottle of water in his console and forced it into your hands.

“Drink up, we don’t want you too hungover tomorrow.”

You nodded and took a big swig of water, enjoying how refreshing the plain beverage was after a night of alcohol.

“Missed you tonight,” you admitted.

Sure, it was fun having a big night out with good friends but it did not always measure up to cuddling with Jamie on the couch after dinner while you watched some TV.

“I missed you too, love,” he said, looking over with a smile as you watched him lovingly.

“Can’t wait to cuddle when we get home.”

“Me too.”

[tarttheart]

THE TWO TIMES THEIR RELATIONSHIP GETS EXPOSED AT WORK AND THE ONE TIME IT DOESN’T MATTER - JAMIE TARTT x OFC

summary: the two times their relationship gets exposed at ofc’s workplace and the one time she doesn’t care

word count: 3.3k

warnings: language and sexual references

1.

The first time Ashley’s work found out Jamie was her boyfriend was all Jamie’s fault. He thought he would surprise her at work like how she came by Nelson Road all the time. He thought it would be cute and maybe they’d have a good time in the printer room or something. He thought it would be fucking brilliant if everytime she had to print something out, she would remember his hands all over her.

Well, surprised, she was. Ready for office sex, she was not.

Jamie had decided to rock up to the branch. Ashley was busy with a client so he thought he would sit and wait only to be ushered into a private room by her manager, attracting hushed whispers and curious looks as he walked past.

“I’m sure he doesn’t bank here.”

“Why is he just sitting there waiting? Surely he’s got a personal banker.”

Jamie sat in the room, taking in everything about Ashley’s workplace. How unusual. Although, really, he was the one with the unusual workplace. Afterall, how many people in the world really kicked a ball around the pitch for a job?

“So, what do you think? We think we have all the products and offerings available to really support you in your career and life journey. I mean, I already support you. Big fan. Go Richmond!”

Jamie blinked when asked for his opinion, “erm, I’m here for Ashley?”

Her manager blinked at him blankly, “Ashley only banks businesses. She won’t be able to help you with your accounts unless you have a corporate entity?”

“Ah, yeh, sure, I’d like to see Ashley, please.”

Her manager furrowed his brows, “Any reason why you’d like to see Ashley in particular? I assure you that all of us at the bank will provide the same level of service.”

“She’s me girlfriend? I just wanted to surprise her at work.”

“Oh,” Ashley’s manager’s mouth made the shape but never quite made a sound.

“Right, let me get her.”

He left the room and Jamie could hear more hushed whispers outside before he heard the same quick footsteps that left his house that morning.

When Ashley ripped into the room, he knew he was not going to get to have fun office sex. Maybe, angry office sex?

When she sat down and glared at him, he knew sex was off the table.

“Why are you here?” She asked in a hushed angry whisper as she took her seat across the desk out of habit.

“I thought I’d come surprise you. Like when you come to Nelson Road.”

Ashley paused, taking a deep breath as she tried to dispel the rage she had felt when her manager pulled her out of her meeting.

“Jamie, I appreciate the thought and gesture but this isn’t like Nelson Road. I can’t have visitors coming in if you don’t have an actual business purpose to being here.”

“What if I have a corporate thing?”

Ashley smiled a little, “maybe if you have a corporate thing but you don’t and you’re not starting one so you can stalk me at work.”

Jamie looked disappointed and Ashley stood, moving to crouch down next to him so she could look at him properly.

“I’m sorry, Jamie. I know you meant to surprise me and I’m really happy to get to see you in the middle of my day but this isn’t how things work here. You can’t come again, all right?”

Jamie nodded and he stood, pulled Ashley up to standing as he did. He gave her a tight squeeze and a little peck and she squeezed back trying her best to convey how much she appreciated the gesture and assuage any guilt he might be feeling.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.”

She smiled tenderly at him as she neatened his fringe so they were out of his eyes.

“I’ll see you tonight, yea?”

Ashley nodded, “see you tonight, Jamie.”

Ashley thought she had managed to do enough damage control when the whispering at work stopped. She entertained a bit of it at the start but eventually people moved on. Her boss still occasionally asked her about Jamie and Richmond but everyone else respected that it was part of her private life.

Then, one day, her manager asked if she could get an autographed Richmond jersey to auction off at a charity luncheon. While Ashley was reluctant, she found it a lot harder saying no to a good cause. On that note, she hoped Rebecca and Keeley would do her dirty work for her and turn it down so she had an excuse to get out of producing the jersey however unlikely it was. Unfortunately for Ashley, they had decided it would be a good publicity opportunity and handed over a signed jersey.

“Say it’s from anonymous.”

And while that was what was announced, the snickers and side glances from her colleagues gave her away in a heartbeat. Soon, Ashley had everyone and their mother asking her about her ties to Richmond.

2.

The second time everyone at work found out about Ashley and Jamie was an accident.

Ashley had changed jobs and managed to keep her relationship a secret. It’s not that she felt ashamed of Jamie but it usually invited more questions than she had the capacity to deal with. Having said that, life was comfortable and Ashley liked the comfort. She liked how cleanly she had compartmentalised her life with days at work like any other regular associate and nights in with Jamie, be it at her little apartment halfway between Richmond and London or at his fancy mansion.

Perhaps having such a seemingly perfect routine (to Ashley) lulled her into a false sense of security because when the subject of the charity gala came up, Ashley agreed. Jamie was initially surprised but when Ashley asked if she could dodge the red carpet, he laughed and agreed. He was just excited to be able to attend an event with Ashley and see her all dressed up.

It had been a calculated risk, Ashley knew, but she thought it would all be fine. And, it had been until Ashley exited the bathroom only to run face first into Molly Thomson, the office gossip.

“Ashley?”

“Molly, what are you doing here?” Ashley asked, paling a little.

“My parents are donors and Dad is overseas tonight so Mum asked me to come with her. I thought it was you earlier. Did I see you with Jamie Tartt?”

Ashley choked at her question. So, she had probably seen Jamie and Ashley acting chummy earlier. Ashley was not quite sure how to respond and looked up a little blankly at an excited Molly.

“Yea, he’s a good friend,” Ashley tried, knowing it was futile. Even if Molly had not witnessed anything particularly scandalous, she had a knack for spinning some great tales.

“Looked closer than friends, I’d say,” Molly winked before excusing herself. She walked past Ashley and went on with her night at the gala leaving Ashley an anxious mess when she returned to the table.

Jamie knew the moment he saw her that it had happened again and while Ashley threw back enough champagne that night to dull the headache that had been brought on from the Molly sighting, it had not been enough to tide her over the weekend. Jamie tried his best to alleviate her newfound work anxiety for the rest of the weekend but to no avail.

When Ashley walked into the office on Monday, she was met with wide eyes and hushed whispers. She sat at her desk and sighed, covering her face with her hands as she willed it all to go away.

“So, Jamie Tartt?” April from the Credit team asked excitedly, popping up next to her.

This was a bad dream that was not going to end.

When Ashley returned home that day, Jamie was unsurprised to find Ashley updating her resume as she started on yet another job search.

3.

The last time Ashley’s colleagues found out about her situation was definitely deliberate. Ashley had moved into a more senior, managerial role at a new company and had settled in as best she could. Everyone had been pretty welcoming which was a really great sign. But, some were a little overly friendly which was less great.

“I got you a matcha latte, your drink of preference,” Charlie offered with smile, setting the drink down on her desk.

Ashley looked up awkwardly. She knew what he was doing with all the dinner invitations and coffees. No matter how politely she declined, he persisted, teasing that she would agree one day. Even when Ashley had explained that she already had a boyfriend, Charlie was convinced that he was either fictitious or could not measure up. Otherwise, why did he never come for anything with Ashley when they had events? Surely, it’s because she was ashamed of him.

Then, there was even the time Charlie invited her to the football, insisting he had some of the best seats in the house. It took all the restrain she had for Ashley not to bite back with a “highly doubt it” as she rejected him firmly yet again.

But it had not fully sunk in that it meant Charlie would be there that weekend while she was cheering on Jamie, which was why she was startled when he called out to her as she made her way to her seat in the stands. While Keeley and Rebecca always offered her a seat in the box, her fear that the camera might pan over and she might be found out was always at front of mind.

“Didn’t take you for a Tartt fan,” Charlie remarked, gesturing to the name on her jersey.

“Yea, big fan.” Ashley shared honestly.

“Huh, who knew?” Charlie said before gesturing to his friend standing to the side of him, “this is Dan, he’s a good mate of mine. You’re here with your boyfriend? Is he a Richmond supporter too?”

“Yea, you could say that but unfortunately not. He’s working today,” Ashley offered easily, loving how little she was lying today.

“Oh, right,” Charlie smirked, “well, Dan’s a good mate of McAdoo. He’s got some inside scoop on Tartt, I think.”

“Oh?” Ashley looked up, slightly amused about what they might share about her boyfriend.

“Ah, yea. Issac said Jamie is in a committed relationship. Has a girlfriend, can you believe that?”

Ashley laughed a little, hoping it did not sound too awkward given the oddness of the entire situation.

“Yea, she must be fit, hey?” Charlie asked, nudging Dan to prompt him to keep going.

“Must be someone famous for sure. My cousin was interested in Jamie, she is proper fit… Runner up for Top Model and Issac said she was no competition for his girlfriend. Said, his girlfriend was a real sweetheart and so nice and that they were great together.”

“Oh, really? He said that? Wow,” Ashley said, trying to hold back a smile as she feigned surprise at the discovery.

“Yea, Issac wouldn’t say who though. Maybe Florence Pugh or something.”

Charlie laughed and the pair started speculating about the identity of Jamie’s girlfriend, unaware that the person they were discussing was the person standing right next to them.

It was unbelievably sweet of Issac to protect them as a couple like he did and for saying all that he said when neither of them were listening. It warmed Ashley’s heart that people like that surrounded Jamie and hence, her. The support and the love was just wonderful.

And then, Ashley had a realisation. Their relationship was not just theirs to keep a secret. Ashley spent time at Nelson Road with the team. She was a good friend to all and her doing that meant everyone was also in on their secret. Everyone had inadvertently also become their secret keepers and that just did not sit right with Ashley.

“Well, I have to get to my seat now.”

“Yea, go greyhounds!” Dan offered and Charlie smiled and waved as she walked away suddenly feeling the real weight of her decision to hide their relationship.

It took another two dinner invites and another invite to the football before Ashley moaned about it to Jamie. His ears prickled with rage and jealousy. How dare this guy hit on Ashley? How dare he not take Ashley’s no for an answer?

Jamie was fuming in the locker room.

“I can’t do nothing,” Jamie said in the locker room as he asked for advice on how to get the message across to another guy that Ashley was off limits without appearing at her work.

“Maybe you should send her flowers?” Sam offered.

“Or, fine wine?” Richard suggested.

“Yeh, yeh, not bad…” Jamie nodded and he was immediately onto ordering the most luxurious bouquets and hampers that he could find for her.

Which meant that Ashley was confused when reception called her down to pick up the three biggest bouquets she had seen in her life and two hampers of fancy chocolates and champagne. She had been so overwhelmed that Ashley had had to phone multiple colleagues to help her take it all to her desk.

With everyone standing around, curious about the sender, Ashley opened the card to feel both embarrassed and unsurprised to find Jamie’s name at the bottom of each of the cards in the biggest and boldest font. Ashley smiled at the heartwarming gesture which was such a Jamie way of telling Charlie to back off.

“Who are they from?” Brenda asked, squealing as she watched Ashley open a card.

Flushing the brightest shade of crimson, Ashley used the card in her hand to try to fan her face, “just my boyfriend.”

“How cute! Is it your anniversary or something?”

Ashley laughed and shook her head as she collected all five cards from the assortment of gifts that now overwhelmed her small workspace.

“LOVE YOU LOADS JAMIE TARTT XX”

“YOU’RE THE BEST! JAMIE TARTT XX”

“HAVE A GOOD DAY LOVE JAMIE TARTT XX”

Ashley slowly read through each card, laughing at Jamie’s adorable protectiveness. She looked over at Brenda who had rolled over from her seat next to Ashley and she knew Brenda had seen the name that was in size 144 font at the bottom of the card based on her stunned expression.

“Your cards all say Jamie Tartt.”

And for the first time in her life, Ashley spoke easily, “yea, my boyfriend is Jamie Tartt.”

“What?” Brenda screeched, attracting the attention of Charlie who had been bypassing their desks as he returned from a meeting.

Charlie took to joining the crowd who were now buzzing.

“What’s going on?”

“Ashley’s boyfriend is Jamie Tartt.”

“Hang on a minute,” an incredulous Charlie asked when he managed to push his way to face Ashley, “you’re dating Jamie Tartt?l

“Yes,” Ashley responded clearly, making eye contact.

��No way,” Charlie laughed like it was the biggest joke but his laugh was met by a grouchy Ashley pulling out her phone and flashing a recent photo of Jamie and her.

Charlie paled at the sight of the photo, “the girlfriend Issac was talking about… that’s you?!”

“Yea, Issac is such a sweetheart.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

Ashley looked at his a little angrily, “why should I?”

Charlie grimaced, “I thought you were joking about the boyfriend thing.”

“I wasn’t joking,” Ashley said flatly, “I told you, I have a boyfriend.”

“You didn’t tell me it’s Jamie fucking Tartt!”

Annoyed, Ashley stood, causing Charlie to take a step back. She absolutely hated making a scene but this was not her fault. It was Charlie’s. Maybe a little bit of Jamie’s fault but mostly Charlie’s.

“Why does it matter who my boyfriend is? I wouldn’t go out with you anyway. You don’t seem to know how to respect what I have to say, so why would I?” Ashley glowered, picking up her empty tumbler for a trip to the pantry for a refill.

After gathering herself, Ashley sat back down at her seat, ready to attempt with work. Some people had the decency to pretend that nothing had happened but a good number were in awe. And then, there was Charlotte who was Ashley’s closest friend at work.

“Word on the street is that your boyfriend is Jamie Tartt. I assume we are going to need to go grab some a hot drink so you can catch a breath?”

“Yes please, thank you,” Ashley sighed, grabbing her purse and heading out with Charlotte who provided a little safe space for that hour or so for Ashley to get everything off her chest like how she had looked for a new job everytime she had been outed in a workplace because she wanted to be taken as more than “a footballer’s girlfriend”. She feared being put in a box and having her promotion opportunities restricted because people expected her to quit but Ashley was tired of it. Ashley was tired of keeping secrets and making others keep her secrets.

Besides, things were different now. Ashley had worked her arse off to get herself into a position that proved she was more than serious about her career regardless of what she had going on in her personal life. Ashley knew she had a voice that was worth something in the workplace unrelated to who her boyfriend was.

Charlotte nodded, “it sounds like you’ve made your decision so put on your big girl panties and show them what’s what.”

When they returned to the office, Ashley’s energy had markedly changed. The confidence and boss energy radiating off her as she sat down at her desk and let all the looks and whispers roll off her back.

Things calmed down a little and by Friday, it seemed almost like everyone had known forever. Charlie was still sulking around the office but that was definitely a him problem and not an Ashley problem.

“We are going for drinks tonight at the usual, you joining?” Brenda asked Ashley sometime in the afternoon as work slowed down.

“Yea, why not?”

Ashley could really use a drink or two after the week she had had but also, it seemed like as good an opportunity as any. A nice casual setting and on such short notice, hopefully that meant no one could get too weird about things. Ashley shot off a text to Jamie asking if he was free and smiled at the thumbs up reply.

Ashley held her pint nervously, watching the door for a familiar face. She was halfway through her second pint when Jamie entered, looking a little confused when he spied Ashley alongside her colleagues. Ashley rushed over, holding his hand as she dragged him over to her colleagues.

“This is my boyfriend, Jamie.”

Jamie looked at her curiously. All Ashley had said was to come grab a drink with her, he had not been prepared for the occasion.

Jamie wrapped his arm around Ashley, leaning in to check if she was feeling all right but Ashley piped up before he had a chance.

“I’m sorry I hid you for so long.”

“You’re okay with everyone knowing?”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

Jamie’s brows furrowed, not fully believing her so Ashley decided she would elaborate. Perhaps context would help him out in this situation.

“I was scared before. I didn’t want people in my industry to look past me for opportunities because of who my boyfriend was but I think it’s okay now. I might not be a CEO or CFO but I think I’ve reached a point in my career where I’ve proven enough about myself. And for the people who don’t think so…”

“Fuck them,” Ashley and Jamie said in unison with a smile.

Jamie leaned in, kissing Ashley on the top of her head lovingly, “thank you, it’s going to be great.”