#JASON WILL BE THE SAME

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

[panakina]

I think it’d be funny if Dick and Jason, due to wearing bright yellow capes on the job for years, are capable of stealth to a frankly unhinged degree. They barely have to try anymore it’s so second nature. Dick can just completely disappear while in the loudest neon clothes imaginable. Jason is constantly startling people who don’t understand how they missed a guy the size of a fridge standing right there. Bruce is extremely grateful for his unbreakable poker face because they have both startled him by accident and would never ever let him live it down if they knew.

[doctorsiren]

Oh Dipper, you would LOVE Chappell Roan

[prlssprfctn]

Bruce gets a somehow very serious injury during one of the mission, so now he needs to actually use a "nurse" button (aka. Alfred or any of the kids who is closer) to get something. Expect, Jason and Stephanie modify this stupid button, and now, each time when he presses it, the stupid sitcom ass laughter of the crowd follows it. Just for shit and giggles.

Duke, squinting: Uh, guys... What is with the repetitive sound of dumb laughter coming from the Batcave? Tim, chewing on sandwich: Ignore it. Damian, sighing: Grayson is mad at father, so while he brought him water as father asked for, the water in the question was three big cubes of ice. Duke: Okay...?

But Bruce is no less petty, you all. He starts to use it back to annoy his kids, too.

Tim: Shit! Tim: *trips over his own skate that he left near the armchair in the Batcave, despite Alfred's warnings not to do that, and falls with a loud thud* Dick, panicking: Tim, are you okay- Bruce, smirking: *silently presses button, so now the imaginery crowd laughs at Tim, too* Tim: ...You CANNOT be serious.

[fanaticalthings]

next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄

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[bellart]

Steph: what kind of knife can cut through kevlar like this?

Dick, half dead: chainsaw

Tim and steph: CHAINSAW??

Dick: yeah whatever do u have any numbing cream or smth im dying over here

Jason: what is this bitchville?

Dick: with u and steph here looks more like a morgue

Tim: ok he’s getting nasty where’s the morphine

[factual-flittermouse]

Bruce: Dick, what’s this I’m hearing about you trying to send Tim to Arkham?

Dick: For the last time, I NEVER said that!

Tim: As good as!

Bruce: *disappointed dad voice* Really chum, I can’t believe you would tell your brother such a thing.

Dick: I didn’t! I just suggested therapy!

Tim: *scoffs* Yeah, in METROPOLIS.

Bruce: *Gasps*

Jason: *Gasps*

Damian: *Betrayed*

Alfred: *Too proper to gasp so loudly, but almost fumbles his antique feather duster*

Dick: Oh come on, it’s not that bad! It’s close, it’s relatively safe, and their PHDs are less likely to go rogue.

Jason: *Cover’s Damian’s ears as he backs them both out of the room, still loudly gasping in offense like the theater kid he is at heart*

Bruce: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Teacher: anyone have any questions?

Kid!Dick: [raises hand]

Teacher: yes?

Dick: If I ate a tuna in front of another tuna would it count as psychological torture?

Teacher: …

Teacher: Any questions related to the topic at hand.

Dick: [raises hand]

Teacher: Anyone other than Mr Grayson.

[tiger-grace]

Robin, pulling out a pack of something: Hey man, I get it. I also need a bit of stuff to calm me down after a long day. Care for a hit?

Drug dealer, currently tied up on the ground: …Is that a gummy cigarette?

Robin: Dude, I’m not even a teenager yet. Who did you think you were talking to?

[corkinavoid]

Danny, appearing out of nowhere: Hi!

Danny, reaching into Jason's chest and pulling out a misshapen, disgusting blob of dark green goo: You've got a spare part you don't need there, buddy.

Danny, molding the goo into a different shape with his bare hands, throwing the darker parts away: And, you know what they say, sharing is caring, so.

Danny, holding up the pure green and slightly glowing blob that is not melting or looking sick anymore: Here you have it, an entirely new spleen, fresh baked and up for grabs!

Danny, shoving said spleen inside Tim: Since you're missing one, you get to have it for free, no returns, you're welcome.

Danny, fading from view with a two-fingered salute: There, puzzle solved, everyone have a great day, bye!

Jason, whose Pit Rage is gone:

Tim, who has a new organ now:

Bruce, who, just like everyone else, has absolutely no idea what just happened and who that glowing kid was:

Dick:

Dick, a moment later: Hold the fuck up, when and how did you have a splenectomy, Timothy?!

[calsvoid]

i just know jason gets SOOO embarrassed when he does something and it’s similar to dick or bruce. he says a phrase dick often says and dies inside or he is talking and realizes he’s using the same tone and words his dad uses. he’s doing a move in combat and remembers exactly who he learned it from. his hair looks a little too much like bruce’s one day. dick would wear this hoodie. he’s eating takeout from a restaurant dick introduced him to. he’s just like his dad and his big brother and he wants to scream because EWWWWWWWWWW

[violent138]

League members discussing meeting Robin at work:

"Compared to Bats, Robin was a total sweetheart. Ball of sunshine."

"Man, must've been a good day then, the kid I met was a real anklebiter. He pulled out a sword and everything."

"Anklebiter is harsh, the sweet boy I met barely said a word, he just kept asking about Themyscira and the lasso."

"He? I met a blonde girl."

"No, no, black haired boy with blue eyes. We're talking about Robin."

"Yeah same here, blue eyed and tanned."

"Pretty sure he had green eyes. And talked fancy. And kind of scolded me for time travelling."

"The child I met was paler than the moon."

"I'm telling you I met a girl, and she was Robin."

"Well... either we're all wrong or we're all right."

So they arrive at the conclusion that Bats has a shape-shifter for a kid.

[arunneronthird]

in the batcave where i feel safe

[prlssprfctn]

Kinda obsessed with headcanon, where Damian and Jason just randomly (out of nowhere, completely unprompted) start to referring to their shared past in the League in the middle of the family conversations, while everyone just stare at them in concern

Like

Jason, staring at Dick, trying to put Tim's shoulder back: huh, do you remember that one time-

Damian, instantly: when grandfather's shoulder relocated by itself, but instead of properly putting in on its place, he killed himself and mother threw him in the Lazarus Pit?

Jason, cackling: it was hilarious

Damian, no less amused: right?

Bruce, sitting behind them: (concerned sips of tea)

Or, it is not necessarily funny, but it just cute (or sad) details, regarding each other that others are confused about.

Jason, who accidentally fell asleep in the Batcave: (instinctively cards through his hair as he naps)

Tim, teasing: ladies and gentlemen, the criminal lord of the year--

Damian: Drake, bluntly, that's not funny. Back when he was out of the Pit, this was the only thing that could help him to calm down.

Dick, knowing that this is because Bruce constantly stroked Robin!Jason's hair, when he saw nightmares, with eyes full of tears: oh

Jason on the random Friday night, trying to be less awkward about staying with Bruce in one room: actually, Damian's first word was my name

Bruce: really?

Jason: he had, uh, problems with saying his first word. People around him were constantly speaking on both language at the same time, and, I guess, he couldn't figure out what to say. Then, Ra's said that if his heir doesn't get his word in the next two weeks, he will throw him in the Lazarus Pit (as a joke), but I wasn't sure if it was a joke (Talia said later it was), and I panicked, and since Talia wasn't around, I just kept repeating him her name, or just word Mother, but he just, uh, wouldn't say anything - kept blinking and staring at me like a little idiot. And then on a random night, he just grabbed me by the hair, and said, Jason. Food. And he kinda spoke properly since then. Like in full sentences and stuff. I think he just didn't want to speak with us, actually--

Bruce, getting grey hair out of nowhere: RA'S SAID WHAT--

And sometimes they just speak in Arabic, and Damian keeps bullying Jason that his skills are getting rustier.

[bruciemilf]

Bruce who forgets he can’t just. Pick Jason up as easily as before.

Jason will get injured, — he hates ankle wounds; they’re not like shoulder wounds, which are his favorite.

They’re pesky, and tiny but powerful, like Damian, — and Bruce casually walks up to him, tries lifting him by the armpits. One time? No go. Two times? No. The third time, he cracks his neck and does it.

Other times, Jason pretends to be asleep in the Batmobile so Bruce would carry him. Bruce forces himself not to mention Jason can’t sleep without his Wonder Woman bear.

[raps-hellion]

demigods who know how much an average loaf of bread from the store costs:

leo — he was between foster homes a lot and often ended up homeless. he knows the cost because he's spent many times counting out the spare change in his pockets and praying he has enough.

percy — he and sally went/still go on grocery trips, and he rants to annabeth if the price goes up. want to know how the economy's doing? ask percy about bread prices.

demigods who do not know how much an average loaf of bread from the store costs:

annabeth — maybe back when she was with luke and thalia, but she's been in camp half-blood for most of her life. bread just appears on a plate in front of her, who is she to question it.

frank — he's a nepo baby.

hazel — she's been dead for 70 years. seeing what the price has been inflated to now may kill her.

jason — he was raised by wolves. lupa does not have time to worry about the inflation rate of bread.

nico — he was cut off from modern society for 70 years.

piper — she's also a nepo baby. and she spent a lot of time shoplifting, so the illusion of cost doesn't apply to her.