#and they’re still very good obvious they’re all bats

[panakina]

I think it’d be funny if Dick and Jason, due to wearing bright yellow capes on the job for years, are capable of stealth to a frankly unhinged degree. They barely have to try anymore it’s so second nature. Dick can just completely disappear while in the loudest neon clothes imaginable. Jason is constantly startling people who don’t understand how they missed a guy the size of a fridge standing right there. Bruce is extremely grateful for his unbreakable poker face because they have both startled him by accident and would never ever let him live it down if they knew.

[bibluebutterfly]

Hoo boy. Now I've made it known multiple times on my blog that I LOATHE the whoobiefication of Vox, but lets get into why/how Vox is NOT a good person nor a baby that needs protecting and why he's all the better for it. Buckle up ladies and gentlemen, this will be long.

Now, why isn't Vox a good person? Easy. Because he (along with the other Vees) is supposed to be the bad guy of the story. Shocking, I know. Vox was NEVER intended to be a good person, and some of y'all just need to accept that.

Now for the long part: HOW is he not a good person?

Well, first of all, his literal introduction is an ad selling drones HE DESIGNED specifically for stalking,"peeping on the neighbors has never been more stylish"

Right off the bat, this tells us he doesn't care about people unless he can profit off them.

Which is also backed up by the point that he ADVERTISES Val and Vels "love potions" which are basically just roofies.

Again. This man ONLY cares about profit first and foremost, screw the people who can get hurt/SA'd by his products.

Next, he has a power of hypnosis which he is NOT hesitant to use. He can take away someones free will at a glance and uses that to his full advantage.

He's also very willing to give Val his lowest earners to shoot. Notice that he does so with no hesitance and no regret.

Also, (and most significantly) he's a huge, HUGE enabler. This guy has cameras EVERYWHERE, ESPECIALLY when Valentino is involved. He's got cameras in Val's room, Angels old room, at Vals corner of the club (which moves when Val does), there's NO WAY he DOESN'T know that Val is a r@pist.

And DESPITE that, he still sleeps with the man, is very likely in love with him, and oh yeah, FUNDS HIS WHOLE DEAL. The cameras Val uses are Voxtech cameras.

Val may be the one who does the dirty work but Vox willingly and knowingly makes a profit off of that. He doesn’t just know and do nothing, he actively HELPS Val out and obviously has no second thoughts nor regrets about it.

This is not a look of disgust or discontent, this is fondness. Genuine fondness. For Valentino. As a PERSON. Let that sink in.

There’s also the implications that Vox is jealous of the attention Angel gets from Val. Angel gets abused constantly by Val, Vox KNOWS, and still hates Angel because of the sheer fact that he takes up so much of Vals attention.

Not to mention the HEAVY implications that he gets off on watching people suffer.

“Well Vox can still do better than Val!!”

While I’m at it, I guess I should bring up the fact that BOTH Vox and Val are MASSIVE red flags.

With Val, aside from the obvious, he’s also a huge attention whore for Vox and isn’t afraid to break Vox’s property if Vox doesn’t pay attention to him. Yeah Vox gets frustrated with him, who wouldn’t be when their lover is throwing temper tantrums every other day?

With Vox, again, aside from the obvious, isn’t afraid to handle Val roughly when he’s mad, and literally screams about how watching his arch nemesis/obsession get the crap beat out of him is better than sex. Right in front of Val by the way. In regular circumstances, 9.98/10 that’s gonna get your ass dumped in a second.

Not to mention the mutual condescension ation towards each other.

And as much as fans (including myself admittedly) like to shit on Val for being a man child, Vox is literally no better.

Plus the explosive tempers.

Seriously. Vox LITERALLY cannot do better than Val. Vox is the only one who can put up with Vals BS and vice versa.

OH YEAH and lets not forget one last thing: VOX ALSO ABUSES HIS OWN EMPLOYEES.

This dude is scared of him, and it’s NOT because he’s worried about getting fired.

So yes. Vox is not nor HAS EVER been a good person.

And for me personally, I love that. I love that he’s entertaining yet awful. I love his dynamic with Alastor, and I love his relationship with Val even more.

If you’re wondering why I personally love Staticmoth, it’s because basic couple rules do not apply to them. They’re both toxic narcissistic red flags and therefore they can be as awful as they want to each other, and the other will simply shake it off. Yet there’s still heavy trust between the two (never being scared of each other) and they still have little moments together where they’re genuinely happy. It’s unique, and something I’ve never seen in media before.

Basically, if you liked Vox better when you thought he was a poor little baby being abused by Val, read a fan fiction. There’s a lot of them out there.

But people really just need to accept the fact that he’s an awful person. Always has been. He’s not better than Val by ANY means. He and Val are both evil pricks who deserve each other.

And guess what? LIKING AN EVIL CHARACTER DOES NOT MEAN YOU SUPPORT THEIR CHOICES. IT’S OKAY TO LIKE VOX EVEN IF HE IS EVIL.

But don’t go on saying that Vox was “ruined” as a character when all signs have always pointed to him being terrible.

[glossgojo]

father mayhew x fem! detective reader the long awaited part-2

picking up right where we left off with part 1 you know the drill

2.2k words

i’m a sucker for some plot with p0rn, oral!fem receiving, riding, creampie, no protection don’t be dumb wrap it up, not proofread and i fear it will be obvious, lowkey yandere /they’re both down bad

the rational part of your mind told you to hightail it out of the church after you’d both fallen back on his bed sweaty and blissful. your body wasn’t cooperating, the haze of desire had clouded the stark reality of your legs being sore and the space between them aching, still leaking onto his sheets. charlie was clearly going through some kind of turmoil himself as he covered his face with his hands, shoulder pressed against yours as you caught your breath. you cleared your throat, thinking maybe it would be better to walk very slowly out of his room and back home. as soon as you tried to sit up one of his hands found your waist, “no please don’t go.” they were still warm and rough, the bandaid on his finger reminding you of how all this started. you had gotten too caught up, losing the reason you came here in the first place. maybe now was the time to get him to talk. you turned towards him and batted your wide eyes, charlie couldn’t help but do the same, his hand traveling up and resting in the dip of your waist.

“i don’t want to intrude.” you whispered it knowing that there was no point in it, you were the only ones there and from how loud you were earlier anyone who was nearby would know what you two were up to.

“you’re not i just-“ he closed his eyes, the vision of you in his bed, duvet barely covering you or the marks he left was a test to his faith all over again.

“go on,” your voice although siren-like soothed his hesitation.

“it’s the catholic guilt.” he muttered, half confessing and half ashamed of it.

“i think god will understand, you can blame me if it helps.” you tried not to find the situation ironic, he was built like a sex god and touting the sin of premarital relations. if it helped him open up you’d be the degenerate for him.

“no i don’t think i could, you look like an angel.” he said it without flinching, your lips twitched at the corner. the situation was laughable and later you’d definitely tell lois about it over some wine.

“what does that make you? the devil?” you brushed a piece of his hair back, unruly from all your tugging and nearly unrecognizable from how it usually looked, gelled back and pristine.

“in a way, yes.” you couldn’t believe that a modern man was so archaic in his thinking.

“i disagree, there’s nothing more human than succumbing to desire, no one is perfect, you can’t expect yourself to be either.” he rolled the words around in his mind, it was a nice sentiment but he was a priest he was supposed to be devoted to god and the faith alone. not the way your eyelashes fluttered or how your ankles felt on his shoulders.

“do we not all strive for perfection?” the pout on your lips was still there, it had been since he started this conversation and he wanted to kiss it away, he shouldn’t.

“you’ll always end up disappointed.” he leaned up on his elbow, looking down at you, lifting up the duvet to cover you up more, not that it helped his current situation.

“so what do you do?” his voice sent a chill through your spine, deep and gruff, like he’d just woken up. you imagined his voice would be enough to just get you off. you blinked away the thoughts, formulating a response to the best of your ability while looking into his espresso eyes.

“whatever i want, of course i have my own morality and i try to be ‘good’ but i know i’m not perfect.” religion had never led your morality, surely in some way it shaped it without your knowing, but you did what you thought was right.

“whatever you want? what do you want?” he could think of a few things he wanted, perhaps even needed, but you were involved in all of them.

“geez what a loaded question, hmm right now a shower and a snack would be nice, in general i want to help people.” he laughed at your response finding you even more endearing than before, you were so straightforward it was jarring. you watched the corner of his eyes crinkle. “what about you?”

“i want you.” he said it without a bat of his eyes like it was the most obvious answer in the world. you weren’t so nonchalant, lips parted in a small gasp and he tried not to smile at your reaction, tried not to let it etch into his bones.

“you have me.” you said it with all the conviction you could muster, it didn’t really take much if you were being honest because in that moment it was true. your legs were covered in him and the ache between them could only be filled by him. he’d haunt you for days if not weeks. your hands found their way to cradle his jaw before you knew what you were doing, titling his head down towards you, kissing him slow and gentle, as if he was a ghost. charlie thought you tasted sweet and the way you kissed him made his heart ache faintly in his chest. he moved on top of you, kissing you with an urgency you didn’t quite feel. you let him kiss you with desperation. his hands roamed down to your legs, parting them and bringing them to the side of his hips. you didn’t know if you could handle another round even if you clenched on air when his slightly hard cock rested between your chests. charlie had other ideas anyways, kissing down your neck, somehow knowing exactly where to nip at to get you to arch into him, kissing gently over the bite marks and bruises he’d left on your chest until he was under the covers, kissing at your stomach. and when he pressed another soft kiss to your clit you swore your heartbeat had moved south.

you throbbed against him, bucking into him gently as a soft whine of his name left your lips. when he licked down your slit, cleaning up his slick mixed with yours you sucked in a breath of air. it was so messy and he didn’t seem to care at all.

“this pussy is fucking divine.” he murmured under the cover of the duvet, licking your thighs clean next, nose bumping against your opening in the process making you clench on it. he didn’t mention that you smelled sweet too, he wished he could eat you for every meal of the day.

“s-such a dirty mouth.” despite your words your legs were parting more for him, he smirked against the soft skin of your thighs, holding your thigh open with a strong hand.

“might as well use it then huh?” before you could even think of an intelligible response he was delving his tongue into you with one of his fingers, pulling out everything he could as you gave, and gave, and gave. his fingers were already long and thick you knew that but the thick wet muscle of his tongue hammering into you, curling and slurping in a craze made you gush into his mouth. you imagined he was tasting himself there mixed with your cum and you felt a tinge of jealousy. his finger managed to find the spot that had you squirting earlier, his tongue quickly following and you pushed your hand up against the headboard, running from the sensation. charlie wouldn’t have any of that, tugging you by your legs right back where he needed you, in fact closer than before. his nose bumping against your clit as he fucked you on his tongue, as if you were a toy for his pleasure. the thought made you clench even harder on his tongue eliciting a groan from him, the vibrations against your core making you gasp. he was ruthless on your poor stretched cunt and just when you felt close he was pulling his finger and tongue out, playing with your puffy folds and blowing cool air on your throbbing clit.

“charlie-“ you gasped out, feeling your eyes starting to water at the desperation you felt to come.

“father.” he corrected you, clearly it wasn’t about respect, not like megan meant. you swallowed down the spit accumulating in your mouth and with it your hesitance.

“father mayhew please do something.” your voice sounded foreign, so desperate and whiny you almost cringed at it.

“so cute,” he murmured against your clit, kissing it once before licking at it, the rough pad of his tongue igniting every nerve in your body. two of his fingers pressed at your now drooling hole and you sighed in relief. he sucked at your clit as his fingers stretched you open, you were soaking his hand thoroughly practically dropping down the length of it. charlie knew he would smell you for days and when he didn’t he’d start missing it. your eyes wrung shut as you felt your orgasm approaching, the obscene sound of your gushing and his hand smacking against your wet skin filled the air as you started to see white behind your eyelids. you came so hard you were bucking up into him, shaking and squirming in his hold and he fucked you through it, cleaning up the mess you made of yourself and then his fingers. with one last kiss to your clit he lifted himself back up the length of you, kissing your lips and swirling your tongue with his, tasting the sin.

you felt like you were on a cloud, floating in pure bliss and charlie watched the way your eyelids fluttered shut when he pulled back. he’d let you sleep, in the meantime he needed to atone. you could feel him heavy and hot between your legs, clearly hard but not making any move to address it, the thought spurred on your need for more. you were surely addicted to him. his heady musk was starting to affect, you were being drugged by him and his body. you pushed at his shoulders he looked concerned as he broke off the kiss, you pushed a little more and he seemed to get the hint, falling onto his back and bringing you with him.

you straddled him, your clit bumping his hard cock, making you wince at the overstimulation. charlie pulled you along with him as he settled with his back against the headboard, his bare chest fully on display and you trailed a hand down his abs, resting on the small tuft of hair below his belly button. you didn’t know if you could take him again, but surely at your own pace it wouldn’t be too bad. at least that’s what you thought. when you were lifting up on your knees and lining him up, you still felt the stretch from just his tip.

“fuck.” charlie was on the brink of coming just from the sight of you struggling to take him. you had been so insistent on this and then in one second all your bravado went out the door. god he could just eat you up.

“need help baby?” you nodded your head weakly and he guided your hips down and you gripped at his shoulders. once you were down halfway you started to bounce up and down, trying to adjust to the pain. he felt so much deeper like this and you swore it didn’t hurt this much before. fortunately you were still dripping down his length, which helped with the friction and you could feel his precum dripping inside you. you set your own pace, grinding and moving up and down slowly. he wasn’t even fully in but the tight hug of your pussy was enough to make his eyes roll back, there was barely any room for him inside you and every twitch of his dick felt like a shock to your system. you got a bit braver, taking more of him as you leaned against him, his head was leaned back and you didn’t like how far he was, tugging him by his hair towards your lips. and that seemed to be the limit of charlie’s patience, the sharp feeling like some kind of trigger. he was kissing you back fiercely, biting at your lip as he snapped his hips up, filling you up and making you gasp into his mouth. your hole spasmed around him and he kissed you with a bloody devotion, snapping his hips as your own hips bounced down on him, a new mind breaking rhythm that ensured your legs would go weak. you were dripping down both of your thighs now, the force of his thrusts making your ass clap against his lap and you swore you were getting air from the force of his thrusts. it made the way he filled you up even more devastating, abusing your cervix and carving you out with every beat.

when it all became too much for him, he wove a hand between you both, pressing against your clit and made you come on his cock, milking him dry as he came with a few more thrusts up into you. even after he emptied inside you earlier he was still filling you up and leaking down onto his sheets, clearly pent up.

your body fell limp against him, he ran a hand down your smooth back, soothing you while he grew soft inside you. you didn’t think you could move and he didn’t really mind if you never did. you looked so beautiful on his lap almost as if you were made to be there.

[gaywineauntsstuff]

See one of my favorite things about fanon is that Dick is like a normal dude outside of nightwing like genuinely he’s normal person who isn’t that extreme canonically. He loves his family but he needs space with them and doesn’t want to be a carbon copy of his father.

He follows Bruce is moral compass while also being more lenient on some crimes. He canonically values life and protecting the sanctity over it than actually stopping crime and has a very strong moral compass that exceeds “well it’s the law”. Dick canonically thinks that Corrupt police officials are worse than criminals and became a cop to weed them out the same way he did the mob. And has bad blood with the BPD despite working for them.

He has genuine reservations about trusting Jason for obvious reasons even if you don’t like Dicks run as Batman where Jason was flat out the worst or like stealing the Nightwing suit in New York in brothers and blood. While still being able to work with and like him.

He is supportive of Tim while still being frustrated at taking on more work bc he knows Tim does too much and will need help.

He loves Damian but steps away from that relationship because unlike Bruce at his age he’s emotionally mature enough to realize he cannot be a parent for the kid. A role model sure! A big sibling, yeah. But not a parent.

He didn’t want Steph as spoiler, Robin or batgirl bc she wasn’t well trained but neither did literally anyone else. Once she and him started working together they had a decent relationship.

Dick and Cass have a strong relationship and he helped Babs with her when Bruce was being an asshole while still not stepping into a parent role bc he’s in his mid 20s and not going to do that actually.

And Dick believes Duke is going to become a big leader in the hero world and sees his potential despite not agreeing with the we are Robin thing.

And the fanon goes 1 of 3 ways

he’s fully uninvolved, doesn’t like the bats, has cut them off after trying to send Tim to Arkham, and abusing/ mistreating or co-signing the mistreatment of Jason. All his relationships with everyone except Damian have been erased. He ruined Tim’s trust, hated young!jason, has never spoken to Steph or duke and Cass doesn’t like him because she’s on babs side or in Hong Kong.

Or

Literally Bruce Wayne’s lapdog, says yes to everything with the worst case of battered women’s syndrome you’ve ever seen. Jason must stand up for him and protect him from the big bad bat/ the bats cut him off aswell after abandoning the bat movement (more rare but I’ve seen it). He doesn’t have critical thinking and his morals are identical to Batman’s and he refuses to question them. Will call the police on a homeless man stealing food bc it’s illegal. And has never tried to rehabilitate anyone including his friends, abandoned Roy and Kory bc of moral differences. He’s still a cop and doesn’t understand the nuance that Jason, Tim, Steph and Duke do.

Or

Dumb himbo, doesn’t know nothing except smile and nod. Pretty face, no brain. Has had one thought and it’s the fact he misses his siblings and needs his cereal oh wait was that two thoughts? He forgot how to count lmao. Babs or Tim will roll their eyes and do stuff for him bc he’s so dumb and sweet like a puppy who has had a lobotomy. :( doesn’t even have a college degree dumb silly teehee. Worst liar you’ve ever met everyone can see right through him hehe. He’s loves Bruce and calls him Dad 24/7 and uses nicknames for everyone.

And like it’s total flanderization

He has some of these traits sure, (more rigid moral compass, more willing to work with other heroes and delegate though this one literally only became a thing during Tom kings run and maybe a little bit after Donna died, in the current canon he went to Uni for business and dropped out, he’s not as good on the tech side as oracle)

But they’re just so exaggerated and I firmly believe it’s bc the rest of the bats are so extra. Like Tim trying to clone his dead bestie 99 times.

Jason goodness gracious I’ve been bamboozled let me try and kill the penguin on live tv

Damian my mother literally tore my spine out

. Duke let’s start a cult that’s something that isn’t dumb and won’t get us murdered.

And Dick is just there like… yeah fuck okay.

Like he’s still unhinged even for a superhero but he’s just objectively more hinged than all of his siblings like you’re telling me if TIM got the talon ancestry storyline shit wouldn’t have hit the fan??? The mother fucker who at age like 13 broke in Nightwing and starfire’s house, memorized all their schedules bc he’s the most insane stalker you’ve ever met. You’re lying and we both know it.

And everyone thinks their fave is the sane won and you are all just wrong I fear. I have already slandered Tim so I’ll do the rest for funsies

“Oh babs is the only sane one”

Bby Barbara is such a stalker with a need for control someone stole her tech and turned Gotham into a police state. If she decided that she wanted to go dictator she has a WHOLE setup for it. She’s also unhinged

“Jason just needs to get away from the bats then he’s the only sane one who the others go to for protection”

Yall Jason’s 2 biggest teams were

An Amazon, and a kryptonian

An arrow and an alien (also some times an Amazon)

So the league big three knock off and a titans knock off

He has also slept with his dad’s ex and 2 of his brother’s exes. Let’s not pretend that he’s being dragged back into the bat family, bro never left.

He wears a bat on his chest

He has a helmet with explosives in it… when he died in an explosion and fought with a crowbar when it was one of the major reasons he died. Let’s not talk about his whole thing with scarlet but the Morrison run had some weird characterization.

“Damian-“ no actually you can’t even start with Mr let’s go to Lazarus island. Let me adopt a giant bat monster bc my abusive childhood means I slaughtered his entire race. No actually I will not allow it. The fucker is unhinged and I love him.

“Steph” - you know what she is also my fave so everything she has ever done is justified and she has the best batgirl run and also her and Damian are hilarious. (She’s also the best female bat hands down I prefer her to both Cass and Babs for so many reasons I will not get into)

In summary this isn’t actually a criticism I find it hilarious plz keep going my darling fanon fanfic writers

[gilverrwrites]

I know they’re not an older man per se, but lately I’ve been thinking about Jason or Dick having a good cop-bad cop dynamic with Slade, where Slade is just incredibly mean to you but then Jay or Dick is there to coo sweet words at you

I know the obvious here is Bad cop Slade, good cop Dick or Jason. And I love that. Good cop Dick especially is MWAH! 💕 and I absolutely need to write actual smut for this, anon you beaut! Like Slade pistoning into your puffy, swollen, cum-filled sex, calling you ever name under the sun. Spanking your red raw ass, and calling you weak when you start to sob. But its okay baby, shh, shhhh. Dick is underneath you, kissing your tears, stroking your hair telling you how good your doing as if he's not contributing to your overstimulation, fuck!

But I implore you to stick with me here when I say, AK! Slade and Jason - bad cop, WORSE cop.

Specifically: AK!Jason/Bat!Reader/Slade

As per, Slade is loyal to the money, but this is definitely a darker portrayal of Jason.

Warnings: Dub-con, swearing, interrogation kinda, choking, restraints, humiliation. No smut, but maybe I’ll write an extension.

The first thing you notice is the smell, you're underground somewhere for sure. Then you feel the cold, a chill across your warm skin, making your hair stand on edge. From that, you register very quickly that you’ve been stripped down to your underwear.

Appalled, you shoot up, reaching to cover yourself but only manage to make it an inch before cold, hard metal cuts into your body. You're tied to a chair by a multitude of pressure points that both hurt and rouse something salacious.

Shit. Shit shit shit. You can’t believe you fucked up this bad. Bruce had told you to get out of the city but you’d refused. You had to be on your top game but you’d fucked it, caused more problems.

Accessing your surroundings your eyes dart around the room until they fall on your captor. Deathstroke is sat a few feet away, leaning back on his chair, seemingly examining something on a tablet. It's hard to tell, the one eye hole in his mask shrouded by shadow. You hadn’t expected him to be at the militia checkpoint. He’d taken you down easier than you’d like to admit, but you’d put up a fight. Tooth and nail. So seeing him so relaxed without so much as a chip in his armour is a little disheartening.

“Trackers in your suit, right?” His deep voice echoes through the room, making you jump. “I would’ve just patted you down, but the boss man didn't want to take any risks.”

His head turns, and you can feel his eye raking across your bound and exposed form. “Not that I'm complaining.”

You recoil into yourself, disgusted by his blatant perversion, and the warm flush it sends through your body.

“Tell your ‘boss’ to come face me himself.” You spit between gritted teeth. His response only adds to your unease.

“Don’t you worry, pet. He’s on his way.” It’s infuriating, the name, the way he words things so tenderly but laces it with obvious, sickly amused derision. If you could feel any smaller, that would do it. “And between you and me, I get the feeling he’s pretty excited to get his hands on you.”

As if on queue, the piercing sound of an opening door creaks behind you. Despite the squeaky warning, you nearly jump for a second time when it slams shut once more. Heavy boots forebodingly stamp against the concrete floor. As much as you want to, you refuse to crane your neck to get a better look. It’s all you can do to maintain even a little bit of power.

“Well, well, well.” The modulated voice is even more sinister in person. His hand grabs the back of your chair, pulling you back a few inches, no doubt just to prove that he could. To instil fear. He leans over you, close enough that the cold metal of his helmet brushes the side of your face, but still, you refuse to look at him. “If it isn’t Baby-Bat.”

“Don’t call me that.” Your venom surprises you. You haven’t heard that nickname in years and it brings out a visceral reaction. It’s what Jason used to call you in jest. Baby-Bird and Baby-Bat, heroes in training.

“Or what?” He challenges, shaking one of the wrist shackles, as though you’re not already well aware of your less-than-ideal predicament. “You’re in no position to be calling any shots, babe.”

“Not for long. Batman will save me, he’ll save the city.” He has too. “You won’t get away with this.”

“Ha.” Deathstroke’s sneer is dry. When you look over to him he gestures his head toward the top dog but you remain resolute in your refusal to look at him. “I’d keep that name out of your mouth, if you know what’s good for you.”

“Wh-“ The words are cut from you before you can get them out. The Arkham Knight, either pissed at your pitiful attempt at a power play, or the mention of Batman's name; lifts you and your chair completely by your throat, turning you mid-air, then placing you back down, precariously balancing you on the seats back legs before getting in your face. All the while his tight grasp on your neck never waivers.

Face hidden, tall, broad, he’s an intimidating sight. The whole display makes your heart race.

“He…” Red-hot rage drips from every word, and you feel your body temperature rising to meet it. “Can’t. Save. Shit.”

The sound of his ragged breathing is amplified by whatever tech he’s using to distort his voice. Each pant sends a shockwave through your body. And you press your legs together to suppress its effect.

“Get fucking comfy.” He barks as he releases you and stands back, watching as you heave for air and teeter wildly before willing the chair to balance on all fours. “Cause he’s not coming for you. Nobody is.”

“Case in point.” Deathstroke finally approaches. It takes his long legs less than 5 steps to reach your side. He stands about half a foot taller than the already gigantic Knight. The way in which they both tower almost impossibly tall makes you tremble, and you’ve no idea if they notice. You can’t stand the added authority they possess simply by being clothed and masked while you sit practically naked for them. Fear is one thing, you can handle being afraid, you’ve been trained for that, but their deliberate show of power, how they make you feel so fragile is awakening something you don’t know how to curb. “Take a look at your hero.”

A screen is thrust into your face, a live feed of a rooftop somewhere in Miagani Island. Batman is on his knees, fists pounding the floor. His mouth is moving but you can’t lip-read him from the angle. Clearly, he’s not okay. This isn’t like him, he must be dosed up on something. In the depths of your brain you know he’ll overcome it, he’ll save Barbara, you, everyone. But you can’t deny how dire things are beginning to look. The doubt must show on your face because The Arkham Knight's robotic voice lets out a short, cold laugh.

“Now you’re getting it.” The wicked pleasure he gets from teasing you is ten times worse than Deathstroke’s blatantly false niceties.

“W-why am I here?” You internally curse yourself for the way your voice breaks. It sparks you to muster a little more spunk as you keep questioning them. “You could have killed me, why didn't you? What do you want?”

“Bring us up to speed on what he knows.” Deathstroke poses. “His new hideout.”

“How he’s getting his gear patched up.” The Knight continues. Neither are looking at you, having turned the tablet back to themselves. “We know you know.”

When you don't respond The Knight slants his helmet upward to consider you, slowly cocking it to the side as you stare him down.

Eventually, Deathstroke follows suit. You wait until the device is tucked away, until you're certain you have their full attention to speak. “I won’t give in that easy.”

You keep your chin up as they turn to look at each other, but despite your bravado, you flinch when Deathstroke sharply drops into a crouched position. The rough fabric of his tactical gloves scratches the soft skin of your inner thigh as he wedges his fingers between your legs. You’d been pressing them closed, hiding how their interrogation had inadvertently been siring your arousal, but he pries them apart, shattering what little dignity you had left.

“Looks like he owes me another 10.” He nods at you before he turning back to the man in question. The Arkham Knight returns the look. Assholes, they’d bet on you. Now they’re having a silent conversation one in which you are the subject, but aren’t important enough to be privy to. Humiliating.

Finally, Deathstroke removes his hands, tracing them along your torso as he saunters behind you but before you can clasp your thighs back together The Knights boot comes down on your crotch, in a fast, precise motion. Pressing hard enough to make you keen and squirm. The chair rocks unsteadily beneath your withering.

“I thought you were better than this Baby-Bat.” No voice distortment can disguise his zeal. Something in the back of your brain suspects he’d been expecting, even hoping for this. And while you certainly hadn't been, you can't deny the sick intrigue you feel for whatever they have planned.

In shame you turn your head, screwing your eyes together as though blocking them out might make it all disappear. The grate of Deathstroke’s gloves on your face keeps you in the moment however, keeps your moral compass spinning.

“Gettin’ paid to break a cute thing like you.” He sounds wistful, gruff voice sinfully musing in your ear as he forces your head forward once more. “That’s a good day's work.”

“And you will break.” The determination in the Knight’s tone, the loudness of it has you peeking through your lids at his mask which is now inches from your face. Fear and excitement invoke a shiver that runs down your spine. “We’ll make you come apart, piece by piece, and we’ll enjoy every second.”

[kiame-sama]

Twisted Wonderland Monsterverse AU?

What monsters do you think each of the characters would be? (With the exception of the Beastmen, Mermen and Fae Characters since they’re technically monsters already)

These are a few ideas on what I think some of the characters might be (You can change these, since I’m mainly guessing)

I can definitely see Jamil as a Naga

Kalim makes me think of an Otter (So cute and adorable that you can forget that Otters are dangerous)

I feel like Vil would probably be a Harpy, specifically a Peacock Harpy (Very pretty, confident and can be aggressive)

Rook would probably also be a Harpy, specifically one of the Birds of Prey (He’s a Hunter after all) like a Peregrine Falcon or a species of Eagle

Idia would a God of Death, the Dead and Ruler of the Underworld and Ortho either being a Soul or Cerberus(?)

I feel like Silver would either be Human, Bear or a Bird, like a Barn Owl (They’re very cute)

Did most characters, some are more than a little obvious (given they are already creatures in Twisted Wonderland anyway).

Divus is a Selkie and is very protective over his fur.

Sam is a Shadow man (we all saw that coming).

Vargas is a minotaur.

Trein is a sphinx.

Crowley is a Crow Fae (obviously).

Ace is a Satyr and thinks playing the pan flute is dumb.

Deuce is a Faun- basically a Satyr with better horns and a stronger sense of justice, known for helping lost travelers.

Cater is a water nymph and is often seen bothering Trey while he is resting in the waters of the lake of Heartslabyul.

Che'nya is a Bakeneko- cat creature that typically symbolizes bad luck. I think he would have two tails or a forked tail.

Trey is a Kelpie centaur and often seen with Riddle as they are good friends, or Cater riding around on his back despite the usual warning that comes with trying to ride a Kelpie.

Riddle is a unicorn centaur and he hates that so many tease him about being a 'girly' creature. Very gifted with magic and extremely proud, his mother was very strict about Riddle being the perfect unicorn growing up.

Jack is a Werewolf.

Ruggie is a Gnoll.

Leona is a Nemean Lion.

Azul is a Cecaelia- basically what he is now, an octo-merman.

Jade and Floyd are Eel Mermen (predictably).

Kalim is a Genie that genuinely wants to help people and grant wishes but always winds up granting wishes that have unfortunate unforseen consequences.

Jamil is definitely a Naga, but he is the Naga that protects Kalim's lamp and treasure since Kalim is a Genie from a long line of powerful Genies.

I agree that Vil is a Peacock Harpy. He loves to preen and make a show of fanning out his tail-feathers, very proud and wickedly smart.

Neige is a mourning dove Harpy.

Rook is a Drider- spider centaur- specifically a Huntsman-Spider Drider who is a master of spinning web traps and even hunting down his prey, as Huntsman-spiders (usually the males) are voracious wandering predators. (I headcannon all Driders can spin webs)

Epel is a wood nymph, specifically of the Apple tree variety.

Idia is a Shinigami. Technically still a death-god and likely a high ranking death-god given he is already descendant of a high ranking family.

Ortho is also a Shinigami, he is still the little brother of Idia despite what happened to him, so I'm saying he is still a Shinigami.

Silver is a Cervitaur- a Deer centaur- and is just starting to get more prongs on his horns, which Lilia is absolutely thrilled with and often teases Silver about.

Lilia is a Bat Fae.

Malleus is Dragon Fae.

Sebek is a Raiju Fae.

Rollo is a Fire Nymph.

[thelordofhats]

Dullahan as Heathcliff’s EGO

There’s two parts to this post, more or less: the first is the in-setting evidence that this could be the case. Honestly, this is the less interesting part of this to me, but I think it’s important to lay out why I think it’s possible. The second is about what this tells us about Heathcliff as a character.

There’s Canto 6 spoilers, obviously, but this is also just going to be long enough that it’s just polite to insert a cut, so here we go.

Supporting Evidence

First up, we have seen, both with Philip in LoR and Dongrang in Canto 4 of Limbus Company, that the EGO a person manifests and what they look like as a Distortion are connected—they’re going to use the same visual language. The Crying Children still has the fire and statue theming of Philips unnamed incomplete EGO, and when Dongrang manages to undistort, Farmwatch has the same hat, horns, and, well, farm imagery that his distorted form had, just not as a weird monster this time.

Wild Hunt Heathcliff is not the exact same as Erlking Heathcliff. Besides the obvious fact that he’s waging his war on Wuthering Heights instead of Himself as a Concept, you have visual differences like the eyepatch, Wild Hunt having an Iron Maiden instead of a coffin, and most importantly, a different mount. Where Erlking’s Dullahan is a straight-up headless horse (I say, as though that is a normal thing), Wild Hunt’s Dullahan is, as best as we can tell without the head, some sort of wolf creature—clawed feet, a different tail, that sort of thing. Which is, as you’ve probably already guessed, reminiscent of Distorted Heathcliff. And I don’t think that that’s a change that Project Moon made for no reason.

The other big piece of supporting evidence is in Wild Hunt Heathcliff’s UT3 story (well, stories), in which he reflects a bit on the whole “commanding the dead” thing he’s got going on now. Specifically, the fact that it just sort of happened. He didn’t schedule an appointment with Dead Corp to get hooked up with their sweet necromancy tech, it was just a thing that he became able to do. Now, we *could* say this is some wholly unexplained thing, but come on. This is Project Moon. They do not toss out massive no-reason plot holes at us. Of the framework we’ve been given, EGO is the most logical explanation for how this happened. Especially when you consider how it lives up for him ~*~thematically~*~

(Oh, but before I move on to that—Bodysack, like all of the Base EGOs, is manifested with the help of Mephistopheles. I don’t think we should necessarily think of it as being in the same progression, although it does fit with the coffin/iron maiden)

Character Themes

Or: What does this tell us about Heathcliff?

Well, first I have to talk a bit about EGO in general. Hitting the ignition point, where you get the Carmen Chat, requires Desire and a Will to see those desires out. Non-capitalized ego, if you will. Philip’s desire to stop feeling inadequate, Xiao grief (I know this is a bad summary of Xiao but this isn’t a Xiao essay), Dongrang’s need for More (please refer to Xiao parenthetical, substitute Dongrang for Xiao). Manifesting EGO instead of distorting is about Self-Acceptance and Self-Control—Philip was keeping it together (sort of) until he started denying his inner drives to Oswald and pretending that that wasn’t something he felt. Xiao went “yes, I am being selfish and have selfish desires, but that doesn’t mean I have to be a bad person”. Dongrang stopped being “Dongrang, Who Denies All” when he admitted “You know what, I’m a selfish piece of shit, and I’m going to embrace being a selfish piece of shit”. EGO does *not* require you to be a good person!

For Heathcliff, that desire is, as you saw on his bat, REVENGE. He’s spent a lifetime hurting, and there is a part of him that he’s been storing up all of that hurt, holding onto it, and nurturing it into a Grudge. He wants so very, very badly to be able to hurt those who have hurt him. But it’s not the only desire within him—his love for Cathy is also a powerful motivator.

In Canti 6, faced with truly losing Cathy with absolute heartbreak, we see REVENGE become his only pillar. He desperately needs to take out this pain in *somebody*, and it doesn’t really matter who. He’s ready to give in to it all, lose control, and blindly lash out at his surroundings until Wuthering Heights is reduced to rubble around him. Possibly on top of him—he does not care. And so, he Distorts.

Wild Hunt Heathcliff has taken the reins of these impulses, instead of letting them drive him blindly. He wants to make those who hurt him suffer, but he does so with his eyes fully open, ready to be patient to maximize the pain he inflicts—maiming Gregor, the mountain of corpses in his wake, letting the Heights organize one last stand against him, a grand banquet. And it is through this self-mastery that he gains the means to make this suffering he inflicts last beyond the grave—to bind their souls in his service, so that even as they despise him and curse him, they are nonetheless bent to his will. He has manifested Dullahan.

To Wild Hunt Heathcliff, suffering is the base state of the world. Any moment of comfort, respite, or tenderness is ephemeral, a momentary shelter against the rain that will inevitably be lost. He has rejected Cathy’s love entirely, not because he does not love her, but because he does not believe in love as being a solid, real thing. Not like hatred is. Hatred is forever. You can *rely* on hatred. And if you are able to find satisfaction in being hated, to drink deeply from that spiteful well, you’ll never go thirsty. No, you’ll live in a veritable land of plenty. A miserable, bitter land of plenty, and you’re going to be a miserable and bitter fuck, but at least you’ll have the satisfaction that the people who hate you died mad and continue to be mad. That’s the core of Dullahan,

The third act swerve of this essay is that I do not think that our Heathcliff is going to be able to manifest Dullahan, because he isn’t that person anymore—the path that leads there has been closed to him. Hindley and Linton are dead, and he has bigger concerns right now—the bat no longer says Revenge, it says Remember. The revenge pillar is the one that crumbled, so he is—unsteadily—driven more by his love for Cathy right now. If he continues in this path, his EGO (and come on, we *will* get to see the full EGO for everyone eventually) is going to be something else entirely. Some similar motifs, of course, but taken in a new direction. Hopefully a healthier one!

And I think that’s really neat!

[cringywhitedragon]

Just saw manly play indigo park and oh my goodness this is turning out to be mascot horror done right or at least some good handling

Mascot horror’s been kinda a meh genre since people starting riding off the coattails of FNAF (which in itself I find good but the series works better as more of a “Sit and Survive” style game instead of a open world/roaming kinda game like everything trying to follow Security Breach.)

Poppy Playtime is ok. It’s not perfect but the devs do shine with their animation skills (Even if I feel they kinda waste it most of the time with Minecraft animations and some other controversies) and it’s not really something with a whole lot of replay value (Very linear and at least in FNAF there’s some incentive to replay a majority of the games with stuff such as secrets/alternative endings and the custom night mode.)

We have stuff we do not talk about like Garbage of Banban and the fifty million other games trying to copy it.

Anyways back to Indigo park.

Yes it’s your standard affair of mascot horror but this game has a lot of charm to it from what I’ve seen. It’s clear that this project’s being made with love and has a few things I haven’t seen Mascot Horror games do a whole lot of.

Namely in the form of this game’s voice with an internet connection and companion, a goofy little guy named Rambly the Raccoon.

While having a character to act as a guide for the protagonist is a pretty common thing in these sorts of games, they either are a faceless voice over a phone/intercom, don’t show up until much later, or a simple pre-recorded infodump. Rambly is not that.

He’s met almost right off the bat not long after you start the game. While a bit glitchy, he shows right off the bat that he has is own personality to add a bit of comic relief to what is a horror game.

I kinda like to think of Rambly as a mix between Navirou (Monster Hunter Stories) and Wheatley (Portal) since he does act as both a companion character and voice for the (silent) protagonist but also interacts and comments on the environment that he’s a part of as well.

Also while a minor one, a feature for collectibles which also add a bit of lore (and humor with some of Rambly’s comments) to the game, not something we’ve seen too often in your free roaming mascot horror titles save for Security Breach (Yes there’s going to be a lot of comparisons between the two).

Finally, onto the enemies.

They actually work pretty well in the setting they’re supposed to be set in. As in, not overly gross and elongated abstract shapes that look super out of place or filled to the brim with mutations and razor sharp teeth but actually look like the characters one might find in the setting they would be in, abet still retaining that obvious “monsters out to get you look”. Kinda like the animatronics from FNAF that would be “in service” would fit appropriately in their specific location unlike something out of Garten of Banban which is supposed to be a daycare.

In all seriousness, who the fuck would be bringing their kids to a place filled with weird blobby creatures that look something out of a Pamtri video.

In other words, go check out and support the people working on Indigo Park!

[leprosycock]

I've been wondering! If you dont mind me asking, which of the cults related to which character in the ttwky quiz, and why? Also honestlu any explanation of any of the choices in the quiz would be great, I love hearing and learning about these guys

:D yes!! yes of course!!!

- “pick a cult that interests you the most”

jonestown and the ant hill kids were related to jay because they were both directed and controlled by charismatic but pathetic men who presented themselves as relatable and kind and generous benefactors and they used their perversion of religion and social justice to manipulate and control the people they claimed to love. heaven’s gate and the manson family were related to eva because they were knotted into rat kings through togetherness, common ideas, and a sense of faith and community. a lot of this also involved sexual exploration and discovery of the self and a greater purpose. the children of god and the true russian orthodox church are related to annie because of several self-imposed rules relating to pleasure, indulgence, and family ties. they also heavily toy with ideas of self-harm as a kind of cleansing mechanism and are ridiculously isolated, closing themselves off to ideas and living spaces that keep them safe and comfortable. they have a lot of strange ideas about sex and the body that are impossible for them to let go of because they’re so intrinsically tied to who they are as people.

- “choose the name of a mel bochner painting”

mel bochner is a typographist and his statements are the art itself, so these phrases were just meant to apply to the boys themselves. ‘do i have to draw you a picture?’ and ‘meathead’ were annie because the former is a childish expression of frustration, anger, exhaustion, and rules imposed by small-minded people who mean to control the art world; the latter is a manifestation about self-loathing and hating traits reflected back on oneself. ‘i don’t want to think about it’ and ‘it goes without saying / in other words / talk is cheap’ are jay for somewhat obvious reasons—they’re all avoidance tactics and a reservation from elaboration. a very strict want and need to ignore the worst of his trauma and never unpack it. don’t talk to him. he hates it. eva gets ‘kick against the pricks (blah… blah… blah)’ and ‘money/obscene’ because he fancies himself as a punk and a drag on society for who he is and how he performs and he loves to wallow in that and every bit of attention he can get. he wants to be famous and he wants to be good and he wants to be loved and he wants to be popular and he wants to be a subject of ridicule and hatred because it fuels him and keeps him alive.

- “choose an adult swim show”

jay’s are moral orel and venture bros for. obvious reasons. but just in case you’re unaware they both focus on an emotionally devastated abusive father whose traumatic childhood still affects him and he extends that to not only the people in his life, but his sons as well. annie gets space ghost and aqua teen because they’re both highly surreal and write extremely insensitive jokes and are cheap, cobbled-together shows that present strange characters in strange settings, but are inherently and devastatingly human. eva gets smiling friends and superjail because they’re loud, colorful, attention-grabbing, shrewd, edgy, and tons of fucking fun.

- “what feels good?”

jay (fatherhood):

annie (too-grown-up child):

eva (rotting corpse of a child inside an adult):

- “choose something that flies”

annie is an airplane and a lost balloon. airplane = wanting to escape, balloon = bright fresh young thing that will forever be lost. jay is a mosquito and a jumping cactus because they’re both annoying and dangerous things that plague arizona. eva is a canary and a bat because he’s a free spirit who still longs for companionship and will bite things because it’s just in his nature.

- “choose something gross”

these were all just things that i think each boy hates more than anything else either due to trauma or sensory issues. annie = coleslaw + puddle of pee, jay = the smell of metal on your hands + sticky stain on the counter, eva = wet food in the sink + spiders

- “pick some hentai to read”

annie = Kasetsu Toilet Sanchoume/Brocon!: i won’t explain this one because it contains spoilers

jay = Pet Shop [yaoi]/AS GOD SAYS: both are stories about older people abusing their power and influence in order to attract compliant young boys

eva = Best Friend *woof*/Super-market sweets time!!: you get no points for guessing what the first one is about. the second one is about lolis dressing up as idols and invading a supermarket to seduce older men just looking to buy groceries, which is what he imagines his dynamic with jay to be

- “pick a popular early 00s character”

annie is domo-kun and gloomy bear just because he’s boyish and edgy and emo. jay is happy bunny and spongebob because he is permanently stuck in an era that has long since passed him by and he wants to be loved and clung to. eva is gir and hello kitty because he’s bright and loud and has a ton of different outfits. this one really didn’t have a lot going for it i just kind of pulled it out of my ass

- “choose a place that’s overgrown”

annie is a local park and the woods nearby. they’re childhood spaces that are often not a lot of fun and typically contain a lot of animal and insect life and are rife with poison. jay is the backyard and the basement. a backyard because it’s a staple of a once-lived-in house that is now devastated and gnarled and all evidence of childhood is condemned, and a basement because they’re a staple of new england homes and they’re often dark, damp, unloved, and terrifying. eva is a condemned gas station covered in busted neon lights and old advertisements as well as a playground that is often retreaded by brave kids and arrogant teens looking to start problems.

i’m not going over the “choose a song” one because it’s sooo cringe and i regret putting it in. no one likes that question

but that’s pretty much it!! <333 i hope you found it enlightening 🙂‍↕️

[bougiebutchbitch]

Heyyy you seem like you really know your batjokes. You got any fics to recommend? Oneshots, longfics, incomplete or not, I'm just looking to feed this craving. I've already read the big ones, REMS, Made for the Journey, Half Way Across, Love and Abuse, etc. I need MOAR

DAMN this is a good question... and one I am only semi-qualified to answer. I've trawled through a fair bit of the Batjokes AO3, but that still amounts to, uh, not even half of it. Any further reccs are welcome! For now though, some favourites, old and new, are under the cut~

Please check each individual fic for rating & warnings.

I'm currently obsessed with The #48 Verse series, by DesdemonaKaylose! Start here...

BRED TO SUFFER (desdemonakaylose)

AU from Batman comics #48: amnesiac Bruce Wayne is saved from having to choose between his newfound peace and the legacy of Batman. And as long as there is no Batman, there can't be a Joker.

John Doe, of the uncannily wide smile and the acid green eyes, deals with a creeping sense of dread that something is poised to go very, very wrong.

After the events of Endgame, amnesiacs Bruce Wayne and John Doe find themselves drawn together and repelled like magnets. Love - and danger - ensues, as their pasts crawl slowly back through cracks in the mirror.

And I can't not mention the other fic I'm obsessed with: AS WE GO ALONG (battybrownboo) - EXPLICIT

Batman and the Joker are perched along the edges of a precarious and complicated affair when an old enemy returns to Gotham. The adversary's desires for revenge against Bruce Wayne have only strengthened with time. This forces the two enemies with benefits on a wild goose chase, and to confront their relationship head on, whether they’re ready or not.

Strong Deadly Duo vibes, but with all the hardcore fucking that DC keep forgetting to add in! Batman and Joker are forced to team up, while navigating a delightfully messy ongoing relationship. As ever, I'm on tenterhooks for the next chapter!

GLASS, CONTENT, PIECES (ashtosilver) - EXPLICIT

"Mr. Wayne, it's this government's decision that regardless of the progress, you will become this man's handler. How he gets to the point of accepting that, is up to you."

Bruce breaks the Joker. But not for himself. Contains rape.

WHAT A WONDERFUL ANIMOSITY (kyrilu)

Joker is preparing to celebrate his and Batman’s upcoming Nemesis Anniversary when he makes the devastating discovery that Batman is married to his roommate Bruce Wayne.

Legobatjokes cuteness!

JUST IN CASE OF SURPRISES (princegrantaire)

What do you get for the man who has everything anyway? A skinny murderous clown, apparently.

Clark gets Bruce a very unconventional birthday present.

After you've worked your way through those, please go read the entire archives of Dracze, Distortopia, Fractualized and Fricketyfrac, aka DDFF, aka the deities of batjokes fic. A couple of faves of theirs that I haven't yet reccommended publicly are:

GOODBYE UNTIL TOMORROW (dracze) - EXPLICIT

Dick and Barbara reminded me what’s important,” Bruce says, quietly. “And there's one more person I want to see.”

So sweet it gave me cavities <3

FRIEND, PLEASE (distortopia)

Joker will not let a disease, of all things, do him in. He was always meant to die at the hands of the Bat. He hadn’t tortured him enough before; he had been holding back. But now he would present Bruce with an impossible, obvious choice: kill Joker before he killed the world.

Joker gets cancer. It goes badly.

(AND I'M DROPPING A SHOUT FOR FALLS THE SHADOW TOO BECAUSE I WANT MORE OF IT PRETTY PLEASE, IT'S SO GOOD)

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT (fractualized)

The Justice League are regrouping after an attack when an unexpected visitor arrives at Batman's hideout.

The Justice League meet John Doe! <3

GOOD FOR NOTHING (fricketyfrac) - EXPLICIT

Batman investigates why Bane made an appearance at Amusement Mile, and his interrogation of Joker takes a dark turn.

Batman finds the nasty aftermath of a confrontation between Joker and Bane. Warnings for rape and some very, very dubious consent.

[wish-incorrect-quotes]

A Royal Pet

Queen Amaya decides that life in the palace could use a new furry friend (or perhaps a not-so-furry one).

--------‐-----------------------------------------

Amaya adjusted the cloth resting lightly over the basket in her hands, and she wondered what the chances were that she could actually keep the contents inside hidden long enough for it to be any sort of surprise.

Most likely, it wouldn’t be long until the secret was blown. But she couldn’t say she would mind too much. She was eager to see what the group of friends in the castle would think.

This time, she didn’t need to go all the way down to the lowest floor to find them. A castle was a lot of space, and it had occurred to her that when there were plenty of rooms sitting largely untouched, there was no reason why she couldn’t give them one of those rooms as a place to enjoy their downtime. She still found them down in the kitchen fairly often, and she suspected they would always have a sense of familiarity there that made it appealing. Not to mention, she thought with a smile, it meant they were ready to pounce on trays of baked goods as soon as they came fresh out of the oven. Though she still found it nice to see them realizing they didn’t need to stay down there all the time.

Shortly after she had entered the room and heard all of their greetings, Dario’s eyes landed on the basket, and he lit up with an excited grin.

“Are we having a picnic?”

Before she could start to answer, Hal and Dario were already in the process of dragging one of the tablecloths to the floor to see if it would provide enough space for everyone when spread out.

Gabo usually tried to keep the complaining to a minimum in the presence of royalty, though the fact that a (thankfully unlit) candlestick tumbled into his lap as they pulled at the tablecloth was enough to make him ask, “Why are you so excited to eat off the ground when there’s perfectly good tables here?”

As if the answer should be perfectly obvious, Dario explained, “Because it’s not a real picnic if you’re just sitting inside at a regular old table.”

“I’m afraid it’s not a picnic at all.” Amaya gently interrupted. “But I do have a surprise for all of you.”

She began to beckon them all closer to look, and at that moment, the basket jostled in her hands and began to let out a chorus of eager-to-explore meows. It seemed that the cat was out of the bag, somewhat literally, and she pulled the cloth away to reveal the creatures playfully tumbling around inside.

“Kittens!” Hal squealed. After a quick glance at the queen to confirm that it was alright, she reached to pick one up, laughing in delight as it reached a tiny paw to bat at her necklace.

While several more of the teens began lifting the rest of the kittens out of the basket to play with them, Dahlia smiled at the sight of them all having fun, though she still turned to look at Amaya, clearly curious for an explanation.

Just slightly raising her voice to be heard over all the commotion, Amaya spoke up with, “They’re all going to be adopted soon, and plenty of very nice people in the kingdom have offered to provide a good home. But first, I was hoping you all could help me choose one to live here in the palace.”

The excitement immediately picked up further, and Amaya happily slipped towards the side of the room to observe.

She tried to keep an eye out, watching carefully to see if there was one they seemed to be bonding with particularly well. There was the little calico still happily playing with Hal, a white snowball of a kitten happily chasing sparkles around after Asha had pulled out her wand as an impromptu cat toy, a ginger tabby in a fierce battle with the laces of Simon’s boots, Bazeema, after pushing past a bit of shyness, deciding to try petting the black one with a splash of white on its chest, Gabo not quite managing to pretend to be unhappy about the idea as he watched the scene unfold…

It appeared this had been a very good idea, Amaya decided. It was plain to see that whichever cat they picked would be one they could have a great time playing with. And it would be nice for her, too. As much as she enjoyed having this group and their chatter filling the castle halls nowadays, they did, of course, have to go home at the end of the day. But while she did still enjoy her alone time now and then, it might be nice if she wasn’t completely alone, and she would be glad to have a little companion to spend quiet evenings with.

But with how much she was enjoying watching the teens and kittens playing together, it took her perhaps longer than she felt it should have to notice that one had retreated to the far corner of the room.

Safi was watching his friends with a warm smile, but his expression gradually began to grow troubled. As minutes went by, he started to swipe a sleeve at his nose, trying to keep it subtle enough to go unnoticed, though it was getting more and more frequent.

Just about anything with fur or feathers could get him sniffling, and usually he was perfectly willing to tough out a few sneezes to spend time with them. After all, he didn't think he'd ever get to leave his room if he tried to avoid everything he was allergic to. But cats had always been the worst by far. He desperately wanted to avoid calling attention to himself when everyone looked so happy, but it seemed his nose didn’t want to give him much choice in the matter.

He managed to keep the first few sneezes quiet enough to avoid his friends hearing, but his willpower soon lost out, and it was difficult to tell how much of the redness in his face was from a persistent fit of sneezing and how much was from knowing everyone had turned to look at him.

Dahlia stepped into action, and crossed the room to ask, “Are you okay?”

He did his best to mutter something about probably having a cold through a face buried in the crook of his arm. Thoroughly unconvinced, Dahlia pulled up the sleeve of his free arm to examine it.

“You’re getting hives. Come on, I’m taking you outside.” She stated decisively. Defeated, Safi only nodded, and stumbled after her as she gently but firmly pulled him along.

Quickly realizing she ought to be helping as well, Amaya started trying to gather up the kittens and get them back into the basket again (a task that was much easier said than done).

“My apologies. I should have thought to ask before bringing them here.”

Safi managed to briefly glance up, and the queen almost hoped the tears streaming from red and puffy eyes were only a reaction to fur.

The room had rapidly changed from joyful to quiet and concerned, and even if no one’s looks of disappointment were necessarily aimed at him, it was clear that he noticed them sharply. Amaya could practically hear him thinking, “All my fault.”

Feeling a sinking in the pit of her stomach, she pulled her eyes away to return her focus to gathering up the last of the scurrying kittens.

--------------------------------------------------

Amaya felt terrible.

Technically, she supposed everything had turned out alright. Safi was fine, thank goodness. Dahlia had assured her that he was right as rain after some time out in the fresh air and washing off any cat fur that had found its way onto his clothes. And the queen had promised to make sure the room was thoroughly cleaned out before any of them wanted to use it again. And alright, so her plans had been scrapped, but as much as she had been looking forward to the idea, she was perfectly willing to live without a cat if getting one was going to make anyone suffer.

But that look on the poor boy’s face…

She’d wanted this to be something to make them all happy, and she couldn’t stand the thought that she’d left one of them guilty and miserable instead.

Now that it had turned to an evening alone in the castle, she was determined to find a way to fix things. She was certain she could find a solution if she just thought about it enough. This wasn't exactly a high-stakes diplomatic issue, but still, competent royalty had to be good at smoothing out incidents.

Was there a way they could make things work with a cat after all? It was a large building, perhaps they could be kept far enough apart? But she would just hate to start putting up barriers again now that she was finally getting them all used to knowing they were welcome throughout the whole castle. Besides, he would still be left out if the others decided they wanted to go spend time with her pet, and she didn’t think that would be a fair way of fixing things.

A different kind of animal, maybe? She did like dogs as well, and they didn’t seem to set his allergies off to nearly that extreme. But running a kingdom was something that kept her busy much of the time, and she didn’t think it would be right to get one when she couldn't guarantee a regular walk schedule.

Was this a problem that required magic to solve? If he wanted to give it a try, there might be a spell that could ease his symptoms. It was an option she would definitely keep in mind, though she decided she wouldn’t jump straight to asking for Asha’s aid. She trusted their new fairy godmother, but it was still important to show their people that many problems could be fixed by finding your way around the stumbling blocks. Also, she supposed it could get a bit risky to have someone just starting to learn magic attempt a spell involving someone’s health.

There had to be an answer, she was sure of it. And since she didn’t feel much like sleeping yet anyway, she would try to keep thinking until she figured it out.

--------------------------------------------------

“If you have a minute, could you all come with me? There’s something I’d like to show you.”

Amaya decided that this time, she wouldn’t bring her surprise to the teen’s break room, and had instead left it in the entry room of the castle just in case things once again didn’t turn out as expected. But as the group of friends eagerly got to their feet to follow her, she allowed herself to feel cautiously hopeful that she had found something that could make a pleasant surprise for all of them.

The little creature was rather tired out after its journey to Rosas, and as Amaya had expected, it was contentedly staying put now that she had left a cushion in a sunbeam perfectly inviting for a nap.

Pulled out of dozing by the herd of footsteps coming down the stairs, the head lifted with a curious “Mrr?”, revealing a pair of large, bright eyes.

“Oh, awesome!” Dario quickly picked up the animal and lifted it up to his eye level, beaming as it began to vibrate with a soft rumbling noise. A few moments later, he looked over at Dahlia to ask, “What is it?”

“It’s a cat, Dario.”

His head tilted as he examined the wrinkly forehead, then turned it slightly in a few different directions to see the rest of it. Silvery-grey, dotted and striped with various tabby markings, but completely lacking when it came to fur.

Cheerfully, he decided, “No, I don’t think so.”

“What happened to it?” Gabo blurted out, eying the creature in a way that suggested he was certain they were all at risk of catching some sort of mange. Suddenly remembering that he was talking about something belonging to the queen, he flinched slightly and sent her a nervous glance.

To his relief, Amaya only let out a good-natured laugh and assured him, “It’s alright, she’s perfectly healthy. Sphynx cats are born this way.”

With his nerves at ease again, Gabo muttered under his breath, “Awful funny looking if you ask me…”

Bazeema came closer to see the cat, reaching out tentatively at first, but soon petting it with a bit more confidence when it purred louder and eagerly leaned into her hand.

“Well I think she’s beautiful.” She said in a soft voice.

Safi had begun to come closer as well, and Amaya watched with bated breath. She could tell that he was nervous as well, but gradually, his eyes lit up as the usual symptoms didn’t appear, and he became positive he wasn’t going to get anything worse than a few light sniffles.

He pulled his eyes away to look at the queen, and found that she was already watching him. Seeing her give him a questioning look, he nodded to confirm that he would be perfectly alright if this one stayed.

“So, what do you all think? Will she make a good fit for the palace?” Amaya asked.

Though they were all too busy excitedly talking out once for her to make out the words, Amaya could see that the answer was clear.

Dahlia quickly stepped in to make sure they took turns and didn’t swarm the castle’s new pet, though it barely seemed necessary when the cat was calmly, and obviously with much delight, soaking in all of the attention. She was going to prove quite the charmer next time she had guests over for royal events, Amaya was certain of that.

But more importantly, seeing how happy the group of friends looked had Amaya knowing she had done something very good here.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Raven Crowley Broomquet Interview

Similar to last year, I wrote some quick dialogue for the interview questions and sketched a little something for Raven’s birthday card this year~ In the first year, I had commissioned an initial illustration, a Groovy, and wrote some voice lines.

It’s her Broomquet this time, and I decided to make the other birthday character her interviewer 😆 Ignore that this is coming to you one day late—

Happy Birthday!

Raven: Hehehe 🎵 What a most merry time of year. It won’t be long now before my birthday interviewer appears before me. They’re picked at random, so it could be potentially anyone! Oh, I feel as though I may burst any second from the excitement!

Leona, off to the side with his arms folded: …

Raven: Yup! They’ll be here any minute now.

Leona, hand to temple: …

Raven: Aaaany… minute… now…!

Leona, starting to look mildly annoyed: … Oi. Get your head out of the clouds and stop ignoring what’s right in front of you.

Raven, wincing: … Please don’t tell me… Are you my interviewer, Leona-san?

Leona: Would you look at that. Took you long enough. What are the chances, hmm?

Raven: Pretty low, actually!! Of the hundreds and hundreds of students at Night Raven College… It had to be you who was picked? (What terrible misfortune!)

Leona: That’s not a very grateful way to speak to your interviewer and birthday twin. I thought you’d have more decorum than that, canary.

Leona: Shouldn’t you be proud of me for not skipping out on this momentous occasion? You always get on my case whenever I miss a lecture. Be consistent, will you?

Raven, embarrassed: Hnngh…! V-Very well, I concede—you do have a valid point. Perhaps I was a bit quick to be wary.

Raven: It would not do for me to spoil the mood on this festive day, nor waste our time. We have so precious little of it. Shall we begin the interview? The sooner we start, the sooner we end. Such is the sweet sorrow of parting…

Leona: Hmph, that’s more like it. I knew you had it in you. Let’s knock this out so I can get back to my birthday cat nap.

Leona: Alright, first question. How good are you at flying?

Raven: I’m most excellent at it!

Leona: … You are?

Raven: Y-Yes! Is that really so hard to believe!

Leona: You’re lying through your teeth.

Raven: Ex-CUSE me?! Who are you to insult my flying abilities when you are a creature of the land?

Leona: Don’t kid yourself. Everyone has seen you fly once or twice in P.E. and they all say you do it worse than a blind bat. I’d say you’re about on the same level as the octopunk.

Raven: H-How rude! If you meant flying in the human sense, then you should have specified! I’m very well aware that my flight skills need some... practice.

Raven: But can you really blame me?! It’s extremely difficult to adjust to an entirely different body shape and mechanism for the procedure. A human lacks the same aerodynamicism and compactness that a bird does.

Raven: I assure you that I am more than capable of flying well! ... in my original form. 

Leona: Yeah? All I hear are excuses.

Leona: I’m just “a creature of the land” according to you--but this “creature of the land” can outfly you any day of the week.

Raven: Ngh...!! Must you remind me?! I-It’s obvious that the captain of the Magift Club would be skilled at flying. You must have worked diligently to be at your level of mastery. I lack that time and training.

Leona: Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. Who knows? One thing’s for sure, though: if all you do is sit around and whine about what you don’t have, then you’ll never get over it or change.

Raven: Oh? That’s ironic coming from you, Leona-san. You also...

Raven: ... No, never mind. I misspoke.

Leona: ...

Leona, groaning: When I was still a furball, I’d play chess with this old coot in the palace. He’s a lot like you, feathers and all. Always running his mouth at me, being a real pain in my tail. But you know what? That geezer could kick my ass in chess.

Leona: ‘Course, I didn’t take it lying down. I’d make a racket and demand rematches. I’d win some, I’d lose some, but no matter what, I’d get back up again every time.

Leona, with a smirk: Now? I can beat him with both arms tied behind my back.

Raven: Was there a moral in that story about not giving up? It felt like you were also just rubbing your victories in some poor old man’s face.

Leona, laughing dryly: Hah. Very good. Gold star for you.

Leona: My point still stands. You want to complain? How about you put forth some effort and do something about yourself before you talk about others? I know where my strengths lie. Do you?

Raven: ...!!

Raven, reluctantly: You’re... You’re right. If I want to improve my flying, then it is action, not words, that will see me through to that end! Starting tomorrow, I should try to squeeze in at least 30 minutes of flight practice after class.

Leona: That’s the spirit.

Raven: You’ll help me, right, Leona-san?

Leona: ... What?

Raven: I don’t have the proper form or formulas memorized yet. Since you’re the expert in this, it would be helpful to have you as my tutor.

Raven: Besides, weren’t you the one encouraging me a few minutes ago? It’s your job as a responsible upperclassman to aid the underclassmen in need of your assets.

Leona: I wasn’t volunteering to chase you around! Go find someone else to babysit you.

Leona: Next is... What’s your favorite thing about having magic?

Raven: Heheheh, isn’t it obvious? Clearly, the best thing about having magic is...

Raven, striking a silly pose: THIS!!

Leona: ...

Leona: And just what am I looking at?

Raven, flailing her arms: Y-You know! THIS!!

Leona: ... Posing stupidly? That’s your favorite thing about having magic?

Raven: Gah, why do you always have to phrase it so simply?!

Leona: Isn’t that what it is? Stop kidding yourself by dressing it up with fancier words. You’re just posing weirdly to try and look cool while you use magic. End of story.

Raven: That’s not all!! It’s the range of movement that I most enjoy about using magic.

Raven: Humans have the same number of limbs as birds, yes--but humans also have more joints, which allows them to move in complex ways while spellcasting.

Raven: There’s no one set way to cast a fire spell. You could wave your arms in different, complex patterns to summon fire balls, fire columns, fire circles...

Raven: It’s fascinating when you think of it like that! You’d think that a bird would have more flexibility, but humans actually surpass them in that aspect.

Leona: Magic can manifest any number of ways, it just depends on how you visualize it and command it. Posing has little to do with the form magic takes.

Raven: W-Well, it still adds a nice dramatic flair and dynamicism!! Especially in combat situations!

Leona, sighing: Listen to yourself. You sound like some kid that hasn’t even cast their first spell yet, running around waving a stick for a magical pen and shouting nonsense, getting excited about looking cool.

Leona: Like Cheka.

Raven: Aw, that actually sounds really cute!!

Raven, suddenly frowning: ... Wait a minute, did you just compare me to a child?!

Leona, smirking: Aaah, he’s a real pain in the tail. He’ll only get wilder once his magic comes to him.

Raven: That’s part of the joys of childhood~ Discovering new things about the world and about yourself... It can be confusing, but it gets better with time and hands to help you along the way.

Raven: Cheka Kingscholar, the princeling of the Sunset Savanna... With that level of enthusiasm and energy, I’m sure he has potential as a mage.

Leona: You seem fine with hyperactive furballs. You should keep each other company, practice your dumb poses together and cheer each other on.

Raven: Why am I suddenly becoming your on-call babysitter?!

Leona: Look at the pot calling the kettle black. You’re the one that volunteered me as YOUR babysitter earlier. I’m only repaying the favor.

Leona: Next is... What do you do in your free time?

Leona: Don’t say reading or writing either. Anyone could already guess that.

Raven: Alright, then I...

Leona: Or making your own inks.

Raven, grimacing: ... Always one step ahead, aren’t you?

Leona: I’m familiar enough with you and your hobbies to be aware. It’s hard to ignore them when you’ve got a little bird screeching in your ear and demanding toys. Asking for pen and paper, glassware and fresh ingredients.

Raven, flustered: Aside from those activities, I find that I enjoy the mundane. There is nothing quite as relaxing as finding a comfortable spot to sit and just... watching the world go by.

Leona: Seriously? You do nothing? You might as well catch up on some Zs instead of watching grass grow.

Raven: It’s not as though I’m doing nothing! I people watch. Lots of students and staff pass through in a day, each of them different and unique. I sometimes see them and wonder what their stories are, trying to piece together observations and make a little guessing game of it.

Raven: In the town, for example. There goes the baker with his tray like always. He has bread and rolls to sell. So early in the day, he must have risen bright and early to prepare them. A hard worker with, perhaps, a family to support back home. 

Raven: That girl is crying. Did she have a bad day? Heartbreak, or maybe a fight with a friend or family member. She’s scared to let others see her this way, so she hides where she thinks no one will see.

Raven: Those sorts of things. It gives me new material to work with, inspirations for my writing.

Leona: A bird that people watches instead of people who bird watch... You’ve picked up an unsavory habit from Rook and that Octopunk’s goon.

Leona, with sarcasm: I shudder to know what dark secrets you’re keeping stored away in that pretty little head of yours.

Raven: I-I did NOT learn this from anyone!! And it’s NOT unsavory!!

Leona: Saying that doesn’t make it any less creepy.

Raven: It’s nothing more than an exercise in imagination! That’s very important talent to hone as a mage.

Raven: It’s not just people I watch either. There are plenty of ideas to be gleaned from scenery, or just an item. Sometimes I find myself entranced by the things displayed in store windows.

Leona: If they catch your eye, why don’t you just buy them? Then you can stare at them all day from the comfort of your own room.

Leona, with a smirk: You know, instead of doing it out in public.

Raven, frowning: Truth be told, I have very little pocket money. Uncle is very stringent when it comes to matters of the purse... so even if I do find an item that catches my fancy, I’ll rarely ever have the money to purchase it.

Leona, scoffing: Poor you.

Raven: It’s okay! What I lack in material goods and money, I can make up for in creativity! I’ll take what I see and weave it into a story where the impossible is made possible.

Raven: Oh! Maybe I can write something from this interview.

Leona: Hah?

Raven, smiling: Because... I’ve been watching you this whole time, Leona-san! And you’ve been watching me as well. It could make for an interesting story, perhaps the same narrative told from two totally different perspectives.

Raven: The world can look so different from another person’s eyes and perspective. Don’t you think so?

Leona: Whatever you say.

Leona: Next is... If you could fly anywhere, where would you go?

Raven: I write about many far away places in my stories, but I haven’t had a chance to visit many of them. The next best thing I can do is to research them well, then recreate them as settings to the best of my abilities. Ideally, I would like to visit some of them someday.

Raven: I would love to experience habitats that I’m unfamiliar with, just for the experience. The ocean floor, the sprawling savanna, frozen tundras, mountain villages, massive cities... Perhaps they would come with some unpleasant experiences, but I feel that those, too, would be valuable for expanding my horizons.

Leona, sarcastic: Keen on the savanna? If that’s the case, you’re welcome to the Sunset Savanna as a guest of the crown whenever your little heart pleases. I’m sure my exalted older brother would just love to entertain you.

Raven: Hold on just one moment! I... I never said that was my top choice!

Leona: Yeah, then what is?

Raven, looking slightly uncomfortable: ... There is one place I wish to visit. It’s the Castle of the Loveless King in the Shaftlands.

Leona: That dusty old site? Thought the lizard was the only one into roaming ruins. That place isn’t anything special.

Raven: But you know the tale, don’t you?

Leona: Of course I do. It’s taught in Magic History, second year.

Raven: Once upon a time, there was a king who loved no one but himself. On a dark and stormy night, an old woman appeared at his door, asking for shelter from the rain. The king rejected her twice, and before she asked the third time, the old woman offered a rose, claiming it as a symbol of everlasting love.

Raven: She pleaded with the king, warning him that it was not too late to change the course of his path. When he rejected her a third and final time, the old woman shed her robes and revealed herself to be a powerful fairy enchantress.

Raven: She cursed him with immortality, so that he would witness the world and all the love it encompassed pass him by. But instead the king relished in the curse, growing even more daring and cruel. Slowly, the people around him left, fearing for their own lives. And the king was left loveless and alone, withering away in his castle.

Raven: By the time he realized what he had loss, it was too late for him to get it back. So the story goes.

Raven, to herself: (... It’s not the complete story. Only I will ever know what truly happened to him.)

Raven: That castle where the Loveless King fell... it’s important to me. That was where I was first taken in by my “father”--and he was the one that directed me to Uncle. It’s really where my story started. It’s where I learned to write. I want to honor my heritage by visiting it again.

Raven: Admittedly, father was not... the ideal parent. But he tried his best to raise me with an understanding of the world before releasing me into it. I’ve always regretted that we were not able to fully reconcile before he...

Raven: ...

Raven: I want to learn more about where he came from, his history before having me. Starting at the castle is my first and only clue.

Raven: Father was the one that allowed me to live this life. I owe him a great debt, so I wish to honor his humble beginnings.

Leona, crossing his arms: Hmph. You’re really concerned with legacy, huh.

Raven: Legacy is important, after all. You must know, being a prince yourself. You have a lot of expectations on your shoulders.

Leona: Ugh, don’t remind me. The last thing I want in this world is to flatter my ancestors by repeating the exact same mistakes they made.

Leona: Times have changed. We need to change with it and adapt, or risk losing ourselves to the wilderness.

Raven: (Risk losing ourselves...)

Leona: In the Sunset Savanna, we say the great kings of old are embedded in the sky. They’re the stars themselves, watching over each and every one of us. The idea is that if we’re ever lost, we look up to them for guidance.

Leona: But what can the dead do for the present? We can look back on them, ask them for advice, but we can’t rely on the past to pave the way to the future.  That can only be done by people who are here and now. People like you and me, canary.

Raven: !!

Leona: Look back all you want, but don’t stay fixated on it. The future is littered with prizes--you’ll miss them if you’re not focused.

Raven: ... I understand.

Raven: Dead men tell no tales. That’s why their legacies live on in us. We must serve as the torchbearers that carry their stories with us to the future--not for their stories to be repeated, but for the next generation to understand where they came from, and to learn from it.

Raven: I will keep moving forward.

Raven, pensive: You as well, Leona-san. You... should also keep looking forward.

Leona: ... Hmph. Looks to me like you’re living up to your old man’s legacy just fine by doing your own thing.

Leona: Let’s get a move on.

Leona: Next is... What’s one thing you hope to do this year?

Raven: I’d like to get better at communicating face-to-face.

Leona: Oh yeah? That’s a first. You always have your head shoved in a book one way or another. Thought you’d be comfortable sticking to that.

Raven: Yes, and that’s part of the problem...! I tend to prefer the company of books over people. The issue is that I tend to fumble in conversation... Maybe I’m too formal, or too stilted, or too uptight, or just too awkward... Or maybe I say something but it comes off the wrong way because my emotions aren’t fully coming through in how I say the words out loud.

Raven: It makes communication a challenge if I’m not writing down my thoughts--but it’s unrealistic to think that I’ll always have paper on me to write on. I have to get used to communicating clearly with just spoken word.

Raven: I wish I were as free-spirited as Kalim-senpai is. He wears his heart on his sleeve and is amicable with everyone.

Raven: Then there’s Silver-senpai, who is earnest and lives in harmony with the woodland critters.

Raven: Both he and Kalim-senpai are so kind, honest, and approachable. They have boons I can only dream of having myself.

Leona: You’re definitely different from those two, that’s for sure.

Raven: Urk!! I knew I was lacking in this area, but you needn’t affirm it so bluntly!!

Leona: Hah? Whaddya mean? I’m stating an objective, neutral fact. It’s not inherently a bad thing.

Raven: Eh?

Leona: They’ve got their own strengths. So what? You’ve got yours. Weaknesses too.

Leona: Let’s say Kalim was meeting an important dignitary. Sure, he’d chat them up real good, but he also has no filter. If he messes up, that’s it. He’s offended the potential business partner, and no trade deal goes through.

Leona: But you’re cautious. You know when to hold your tongue. You wouldn’t have made that same slip-up.

Leona: Stick you at a party though? That’s where Kalim would thrive and you’d merge with the wallpaper.

Leona: It’s not the skill that matters, but the setting and how the skill is used.

Raven: That’s true... That’s also part of what’s so complicated about speaking with others face-to-face. There are variables you cannot control, another person whose responses you must account for. Things constantly changing.

Raven: When I write, I can manipulate each and every aspect of the conversation. I have as much time as I need to think of a response. 

Raven: I just hope it will come to me with practice. I’ve been pushing myself to go out of my comfort zone lately, staying behind class to exchange a few words with my first-year peers. Even this conversation that we’re having now is considered part of my training regimen!

Leona: Good for you.

Raven: Come to think of it, you’re quite well-articulated yourself, Leona-san. Er, when you want to be. It must come with the royal tutoring.

Leona, slightly amused: You don’t say. Am I riveting enough of a conversation partner for you?

Raven, warily: Well... You’re certainly not Prince Charming, but you’re a prince with your own ‘unique’ charm. Let’s leave it at that, shall we?

Leona: Next is... What is your best subject?

Raven: That would be Ancient Curses.*

[*NOTE: In the official localization, this subject is called “Ancient Magic”.]

Leona: No kidding. It looks like birds of a feather flock together after all.

Raven: Eh, you too?!

Leona: Yeah. ‘s not all bad. It’s a test of your wits, not just busy work to waste time.

Raven, smiling: I know, it’s so interesting!! Deciphering ancient languages, unlocking spells wanted to be kept secret... It’s like solving a puzzle or a riddle, so it’s really satisfying when you finally find the answer. It feels like you earned the right to see it!

Leona: Huh. You’re pretty gung-ho about this.

Raven: I have a personal fascination with it as a writer.

Raven: I mainly write stories in the common tongue, but there are many languages spoken in Twisted Wonderland, each with its own unique grammatical and social rules.

Raven: And in Ancient Curses, we often look at languages no longer spoken. That is to say, dead or extinct languages. Words forgotten by the natural passage of time, or purposefully buried by its original authors.

Raven: If we unearth those words, we can learn more about what once was, and all the things we have yet to understand. There is much knowledge and wisdom from the past that we’ve yet to find.

Raven: Ancient Curses is the bridge between now and then.

Leona: Guess so. 

Leona: You talk about it like you’re looking for something. Did a forbidden dark magic spell catch your eye?

Raven: An answer. I’m looking for an answer.

Raven: (... for this curse of mine.)

Leona: Aren’t we all.

Raven: What are you hoping to get out of your Ancient Curses studies?

Leona: Me? Nothing much. It helps keep me momentarily amused. I’m not looking for the secret to life or the cure to disease or whatever.

Leona: Unlike you, I don’t have any lofty ambitions.

Raven: What a shame. With your abilities, you just may be able to uncover whatever you like.

Raven: In fact, I would say I detected a hint of sarcasm just now, when you said you don’t have any lofty ambitions. It’s not good to tell little white lies, Leona-san.

Leona, with a laugh: Hah! Thanks for the vote of confidence, canary. You put your faith in the strangest of places.

Raven: I don’t think it’s so strange. The flowers in Heartslabyul’s gardens do stranger things than believe in lions. ‘You can really do it if you put your mind to it’... That saying is true for everyone!

Leona: Now that’s some topysy-turvy logic if I’ve ever heard of it.

Leona: As for your ‘answer’... if you manage to find it, be so generous as to share those secrets with the rest of us, won’t you?

Raven: Hehe. Of course I will. That’s a promise!

Leona: We’re done here.

Raven: And not a moment too soon!

Leona, sarcastic: Yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re just so eager to be free of my clutches. I won’t take a second more of your precious time.

Leona, with a smirk: Here. Your bouquet. It’s the first and only time I’ll hand you flowers, so enjoy it while you can.

Raven, flatly: Thank you.

Raven: ... Oh my. What a lovely bouquet. Dark blue and burgundy flowers with speckles of small white and gold flowers... It looks like the night sky. They would make for a lovely color of enchanted ink.

Raven: I don’t recognize a lot of these, but blue roses aren’t natural, are they?

Raven: (It’s like me. Something that doesn’t belong, placed there artificially... but it’s still a part of the bouquet, still a part of the story.)

Raven: If I recall correctly, blue roses mean “mystery”, “the unattainable”, and... “a dream come true’.

Leona: Ever the romanticist. Are you going to stand there stalling for time, or are you actually going to fly the Birthday Road? I’m going to see your flying again one way or another. You might as well get it over with now with some grace intact.

Raven: I-I will! I was just admiring the composition of the bouquet before I left! (Oh, WHY did he have to point that out?!)

Raven, getting on the broom and clearing her throat: W-Well then, if you’ll excuse me! I must be off!

Leona: Finally off to see the world? Bring me back a souvenir and a good story while you’re at it, canary.

Raven: I make no such promises, Leona-san!

[mokagachas]

share with me your great wisdom of of snake gal and water gal for I have not played arknight is a bit

hm okay alright ( muses )

I’ll say right off the bat I’ve mentioned on this blog before that while I don’t dislike romantic ships by any means I find myself very rarely “shipping” characters by pure definition of the word I mostly just enjoy their dynamics and parallels and My Goodness ho’ol and mumu have that in droves with one another

The vast TLDR oversimplification of the two of them: Ho’olheyak and Muelsyse are the last/some of the last of each of their respective races, Ho’olheyak being the last of the K’uk’ulkan and Muelsyse of the elves. Both are long life species naturally, but Ho’olheyak has gone through a torturous ritual at a young age that all K’uk’ulkan go through where she is implanted with the memories of generations of K’uk’ulkan before her. The procedure cuts her life short, and while we don’t know exactly HOW short, its presumably not very long to go

Muelsyse and Ho’olheyak both go on quests to find out what remains of, or what happened to, their people. They both have rather different approaches to it, however, with Muelsyse holds out hope that she’ll find other elves still alive, going on a lone quest to hunt down what remains of them and ultimately discovering that yes, most have died out, partially due to their weakness to originium. Despite this, she herself stays in densely populated city areas and interacts with Infected people frequently, enjoying being a social person while also feeling agonizingly alone. Muelsyse is decidedly a Good Person.

On the flip side, Ho’olheyak almost agonizingly relies on using other people to get the information she wants, seeking less about the specificities of what happened to her race and moreso their purpose and affect. She infiltrates secret organizations, double and triple crosses whenever it suits her whim, and is an utterly self-serving person who has no qualms in committing atrocities to get what she wants- though this is not to be confused with commiting atrocities for the pure joy of it. She ultimately finds a “god” robot thing (long story) that more or less tells her that everything she’s been working for is more or less worthless and she doesn’t necessarily fall to despair, but she does become incredibly languid and passive, though she keeps her trade mark asshole-ish ness.

Muelsyse flat out says it in Ho’olheyak’s files: “We each have what the other lacks.” They’re characters that are Definitely built to be the inverse of each other despite having rather sparing direct interactions in events but being littered in each other’s files. It’s really interesting to me!

But while their long life parallels (or robbed lack thereof in Ho’ol’s case) and relationship with their ancestors are the most obvious connections to be drawn between them, what fascinates me the most is their social parallels and how their experiences have changed how they interact with the world.

Both of them feel incredibly alone in one way or another. For Muelsyse, this comes near to breaking her at times. Despite the people around her that she cares for, and who care for her, she has such a different life experience than everyone else that she feels a disconnect that cannot be bridged. Despite this, she does her best to form genuine connections with those around her, even if they fail to give her what she wants.

Ho’olheyak is alone and at least Thinks she doesn’t care about it. She doesn’t respect many people, if any at all. She shatters every possible connection she could have with a shrug, pursuing only what could benefit her and seeming impartial to what she does to have her way. She is alone yet clearly wants for more: why else would she be seeking for meaning in the K’uk’ulkan so desperately?

These are two people who have had such violently different lived, yet the closest either of them can get to finding someone who can even begin to comprehend the life they’ve led and the struggles they’ve faced is in the other person. They acknowledge to themselves that the other person share similarities, but have trouble crossing that final step due to how the other has acted is so contradictory to their personal motives.

They’re both drawn to and reject the other… I like it :)

[niunaix]

scars by the crane wives perfectly mirrors the albatrio in such specific ways???

like of course the line “maybe born in a storm beneath an angry sky” is perfect to gillion and the prophecy, but also so is everything else in that verse. the first line, “i’m not the person that i thought i was. i couldn’t tell you where the ache came from” describes his journey on the surface. he went from being the clear champion with an exact destiny to his own person and i don’t know if he could pinpoint the moment his destiny became uncertain. was it the moment he emerged? when he spoke to the tree? when he grew to be friends with oversea creatures?

now, i think the second verse is a little less clear on comparisons HOWEVER i think it could be seen as describing jay. the first line, “all the love, all the kindness, all your best laid plans couldn’t stop me from becoming the way i am” could be seen as a reference to jay’s mother. despite how kind her mother is and the rigid upbringing she was given, that clear path to being a navy soldier, she still became a pirate. her family sinks everything they have into making sure all of their children become incredible navy soldiers, but it still didn’t work. the love and kindness line is a little bit of a stretch when referring to jay’s upbringing but like…. her mother was good?? kind of?? i’m struggling on an exact comparison for the second half of the verse so i am going to move on.

i’m gonna tackle the chorus last cause i think those lines are a mix of things, but verse three is, of course, going to be chip. right of the bat the lines, “i’m not the person that i thought i was. i’m trying to come to terms with what you’ve done” feels like chip’s journey into becoming a better person. he always thought he would just be the bastard, pissing off the people around him, lying to get what he wants, but jay and gill have changed him. overtime he’s slowly become a better and more supportive friend to them in ways i don’t think he fully comprehends. he’s always had the hardest time shaking his old habits and getting over that he’s not just some pirate. in the last lines of the verse “i’m still burning like a tire fire deep down inside. oh i’m burning like a tire fire and i don’t know why” it reminds me of his constant need to find arlin. that fire that was lit in him as a child, that fire that led him to becoming a pirate is still burning, but there’s not a real reason to go search for him now. chip has everything he could need with his current crew, but because of that deal he still feels this constant need to find arlin. and also his fire powers yada yada that’s an obvious comparison.

the chorus!! i’m using the last version cause it’s the longest, the rest are just variations of the same thing and this post is long enough as it is. right off the bat “cause i was born with a whole in my heart” island of desire, chip gets his heart ripped out. all very obvious links. it’s literally the name of the song they sing while they’re there so i don’t think it needs a lot more explanation. the rest of the chorus, “yeah we were fucked from the start. tell me it’s inevitable that i’d end up with scars from falling down, down. we were always meant to fall apart.” makes me think of them jumping down into the black whirlpool. kinda of an echo of the black rose pirates. the scars line could also be the marks on drey and finn’s backs.

but it could mean nothing who knows.

[markerofthemidnight]

I love your Hatchetfield fics Grayscale and Hidden Depths. Can you tell me a tidbit about both/ether of them?

AHHHHHHH I’d be happy to oblige!!!

As much as I’d like to talk about both at the moment… I hate to admit this, but I’ve really been ignoring the existence of Hidden Depths as of recent. And Greyscale, but Hidden Depths deserves attention too! So, since Chapter 6 has been held back for so long, why not share some more about the Old Lords?

HD: ULTIMATE Recap was, after all, only a very small tidbit of extra info on them. I’m also working on a piece that’ll show you all their designs- except Kindler’s, since we’ve already seen his, but I’m not even halfway through that yet. Starting to get pretty concerned with how little I’ve been doing stuff as of recent…

Well, anyways! Here’s some extra information on the Old Lords and my thought process behind making them.

Kynzol Errakt (aka Kindler)

The God of the Sun and Flames, as you know. Previously known as the God of Drought in Chapter 1, but I felt like it was pretty odd to have a god whose powers can only be defined by what they aren’t associated with.

Obviously very draconic in design, but the dragon actually isn’t his associated animal. That would go to the thorny devil: everybody’s favourite spiky little reptile that I felt best summed up what exactly I was trying to go for with Kindler, and that was before I learned that they can apparently drink water by absorbing it through their feet!

Known as the Everburning Star, Kindler is the de facto leader of the Old Lords. He carries himself with a sophisticated yet very intentionally intimidating disposition, and tends to not really think about the wellbeing of others unless it affects his.

It’s fairly obvious from his behaviour that he has a pretty big god complex (ironic, huh?), and is incredibly stubborn in his beliefs. Not even the Old Lords would ever dare speak out against him: the only reason why they’re so comfortable with his presence is because they’ve spent 5,000 years with him.

You may be wondering why I chose this specific personality when it’s not very different from Wiggly’s. Well… that’s because Kindler was pretty much just based on my perception of what Wiggly’s predecessor probably would’ve acted like, which slowly developed into the dragon we know today.

The main difference between them, I’d say, is that Wiggly is only partly scary (hence why so many people are in love with him), whereas Kindler is actually genuinely scary and villainous. It’s like the difference between any normal Disney villain and Emperor Belos from The Owl House.

Trypnarash (aka Thrasher)

The God of Noise, associated with a bat for fairly obvious reasons. Rather fittingly, also as blind as a bat. For some reason he switches between having an Australian or a Cockney accent depending on whichever one I think would be better suited to what he’s saying.

Known as the Beastly Cacophony, Thrasher is… loud. Very loud. Strangely enough, he’s actually surprisingly chill: he’s pretty much fine with anything as long as it’s entertaining.

However, it’s important to keep in mind that this still doesn’t make him a good person. He’s evil just like the rest of them, only in his own ways. (Not Evil from The Lego Movie 2 is a song that I associate with him quite a lot, by the way.)

Inspiring false hope so that the others can crush it, and toying with people in more personal ways, is his MO. He pretty much does whatever’s most entertaining to him at the moment: the only reason why he’s alright with Blinky not being evil is because in a few months, he’s gonna be dead for good. No point in caring about that.

Gazon Q’raktic (aka Gazer)

The Goddess of Space, associated with jellyfish since it was the first animal I thought of that felt alien enough to be associated with space. Also known as the Scholar of the Stars.

My basic concept behind her and her personality was “what if the ancient deity was a girlboss.” A stark contrast to the slowly rotting incel with ADHD that we call Tinky. Some would call her arrogant, though it’s important to keep in mind that arrogance implies misplaced confidence.

And hers is definitely not misplaced.

She is smarter than you. Much, much smarter. Gazer has peered into the distant voids of space, and understands the universe in a way no one else can. She knows how the Big Bang happened, she knows about the existence of extraterrestrial life, and the answers to many more unanswered questions about the universe. How does she know? Simple: she figured it out. HERSELF.

She has an IQ of at least 2,000. And she is cursed with knowledge no one else can ever bear: because no one, not even any of her fellow Old Lords, is intelligent enough to understand it.

Kindler is arrogant to the point of being delusional. Gazer is… probably the only one out of those five who actually has her head on straight.

Honestly, she’s also probably the closest to being a good person, as well? Whenever she plays with mortals, it’s usually some kind of simple challenge with fair enough rules, which only gets violent if those rules are broken.

Retonydunfir (aka Rattler)

The God of Decay, associated with vultures. The name Rattler comes from the bones all over his body. Known as the Harbinger of Decay.

Rattler is… you know how I just said Gazer’s probably the only sane one there? He’s close to being sane. Not quite there yet, though.

His base personality is best described as the archetypical cranky grandfather who says the most appalling and racist things as if he’s just talking about the weather. Except Rattler is more intimidating than that.

He works slightly differently to the other Lords in that his powers are fueled. When something somewhere in the universe dies or decays- no matter how great or small- he gains power.

He is obsessed with what he calls the “art” of decay. Partly because it fuels his powers, but mainly because he’s just, for lack of a better term, a nightmare fetishist.

This stretches not only to physical decay, but mental decay as well. Unlike Nibbly, he’s very patient, and prefers to make people suffer through slow torment that steadily gets worse as it continues, rather than just… eating them.

Definitely not someone you want to have on your bad side… or your good side, as he’s known to subject some of his own followers to similar things once they die. What they endured his room (and, to this day, continue to endure in Nibbly’s room) can only be described as a really big, really long retelling of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.

Stinturmor (aka Stinger)

The Goddess of War and Discord, and probably my favourite out of the old Lords in Black? Her associated animal is an ant, because ants go to war with each other all the time. She’s known as the Gyne General (a gyne being the primary reproductive female in a system of insects, i.e. an ant queen).

She has two forms in total. The first and more commonly seen one is a small cartoony blue ant. The second… I can’t talk about what the second one looks like.

She’s also the first of the Old Lords to have her room fully designed. It’s a medieval castle on a hill (🎶 AS THE STORY GOES 🎶), mainly either royal blue or baby blue in colour.

She likes ponies, drinking tea with honey, and drawing her favourite mortals all being horrifically tortured whilst laying on her little princess bed with her feet kicking in the air like a toddler.

…Yeah.

So the main inspiration for Stinger, as well as my headcanon voice for her, was The Ghost of Christmas Present from Scrooged. If you’ve watched that, I’m sure you’ll know exactly what Stinger’s going to be like in the story, specifically when talking to Pokey.

The reason why that specifically is her personality is because, if Pokey represents peace and harmony, she represents war and discord. Dissonance, conflict, contrasting elements between characters.

So naturally, my only option with her was to play up the general vibe of the canon LiB, giving her two sides: the first being this cutesy little whimsical creature who talks like she’s from Oz, and the second being a horrible nightmare that’ll torture you for days on end, kill you as soon as she gets bored, and then resurrect you as soon as she gets bored of all her other favourite playthings.

She also has the ability to summon any weapon at will. And I do mean any weapon, even ones that she shouldn’t feasibly be able to wield. She prefers ones from the Dark Ages or beforehand, but unfortunately for you, our dearest Stinger doesn’t exactly believe in consistency.

For this very reason, I am very much looking forward to writing a scene in Hidden Depths where she just nonchalantly whips out a grenade launcher.

[time-of-your-life-au]

Red the Echidna-Bat

Red is Rouge and Knuckles’s oldest child, and they inherited their tough, confident personality from them. They’re very self-assured, always ready to fight anyone who opposes them and talk shit the entire time. They tend to tease and insult the people they're close to, which can make them come across as an asshole, but anyone who actually knows them knows they mean well. Teasing is their way of showing affection; it’s hard to express their emotions through normal means, so they found a way that works for them.

One might look at Red’s younger sister Emmy, whose name is short for Emerald, alongside their parents’ shared fascination with the Master Emerald, and worry that the two picked Emmy as their favorite over Red. But Red is quick to assure that they chose their name themselves; they used to be named after a gem, and they decided it didn’t suit them, so they found one that did. Anyone who suggests they stick with their old name will be hunted for sport.

Red loves street art! They're always out and about in Central City, leaving their tag all over the walls. They of course don't use their real name— instead, they've picked out the street name "Nocturne" to leave on their artwork. That way, all of their art is clearly marked as theirs, but the cops have a harder time catching them.

Red’s closest friend is Verse, who they may or may not have a teeny tiny crush on. …Okay, fine, it’s a pretty massive crush. But they know that there’s no chance of reciprocation, and with their parents’ support, they’ve been trying to distance themselves and get over their feelings. Although they don’t act like it, Red is a bit of a hopeless romantic, and even though Verse can't return their feelings, they do still hope to find love someday. They even wear a white bead in their quills, a sign in echidna culture that they are of age and unmarried. Most people don’t realize that’s what it means, but hey, it’s there!

Since Verse is good friends with Silkie and M.A.R.C.Y., that makes them Red’s friends by proxy as well. They’ve never hung out with Silkie or M.A.R.C.Y. without Verse there as well, but they still consider themselves close to them. They’ll tease the two of them the same way they will Verse and Emmy—in fact, they get even more opportunities for teasing them in particular due to their obvious crushes on each other! If Red can’t have their love reciprocated, they’ll make good and sure to playfully mock those who can, while of course supporting them every step of the way.