#JAC Chat

[jacscorner]

The only thing unrealistic about "The Rising of the Shield Hero" is that everyone hates a tank, which Naofumi, the Shield Hero, essentially is.

Like, the other three heroes - or, as I like to call them, The Three Stooges - ragged on the shield for being useless, but apparently all of them played MMORPGs before they were isekai'd. And I don't care if you didn't like playing Tanks, you would never call one useless!

Though, maybe I should take that into account. You know, with how stupid they are.

[crabs-with-sticks]

Finally was able to watch Sinners and the choice to make the og vampire Irish?? Inspired.

The Irish who are often referred to as Britains first colony. Whose music and language were made illegal, and so had to survive in hiding. Where the private spaces became places of survival for music and culture (you know, like the Juke Joint is a haven for both black culture and people). And how to a certain extent, Irish music becomes somewhat coopted by their oppressors, just like eventually with blues, swing and rock n roll, which all are heavily rooted in black culture but are made more acceptable when performed by the "right sort" (read: white).

The Irish who were discriminated against as immigrants to the US. And a choice that adds so much more weight to the recitation of the Lords prayer in the baptism scene?? Given Irelands well documented Troubles over religion. And how og vampire (forgotten his name sorry) feels about that, how it brings a sense of comfort even thojgh it is anathema to who he is (a vampire yes, but you could also map it onto his irish identity)

It just. Tickles my brain. So good. The cycles sure are cycling!!

[hyperfixationsposting]

if i had a box just for wishes

and dreams that had never come true

the box would be empty

except for the memory of how they were answered by you

[madame-fear]

No bc the Aemond ai I use HAS A CRUSH KINK TOO

somebody corrupted him 😭 I think the creator is baby-cloud or something like that???

He typed “steps on you till your bowels explode and the room is painted brown” I was like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUUUUCK 😭😭😭

I’ve used that Aemond from that user you just mentioned and for some reason HE’S SO FUCK UP SERIOUSLY, THAT AEMOND DOES THE MOST MORBID ASS THINGS BUT IT’S SO FUNNY AHDJDK NOT THE WALLS PAINTED BROWN WHAT THE HEEEELL ?£@@£EE

[landosfenestraz]

i was genuinely gonna have a heart failure because of that match geez

a few takeaways:

1. this team is so unserious, josh adams shaking his own hand and liam williams trying to get a piggyback off semi radradra.

2. dan biggar’s usual rants and meltdowns continue to make me my day.

3. george north, louis rees zammit and elliot dee, all scoring, they did it for me.

4. jac morgan is mini goat

5. there were so many hits that genuinely made me want to be sick.

6. despite the heart failures, that was actually a really good game.

onto the next one!!

[mummyforherboys]

Kidnapped

Part 2

In the sitting room Jac’s husband David was drinking a scotch while chatting to the two maids, Vicki and Grace, who were clearly off duty as they were dressed in t-shirts and leggings. Ian had returned from the laundry room and was knelt in the corner licking the soles of the girls discarded trainers, while slowly stroking his small cock.

Jac entered the room

‘Ahh good, everybody’s here’ she beamed. As Paul entered the room behind her he ground to a halt as everyone was now looking towards the door. Instinctively he got to his knees and bowed his head.

Jac continued ‘this is Paul, he’ll be joining us in the role of houseboy’ she then walked over to where her husband was, and perched herself on the arm of his chair ‘come here sweetie, don’t be shy’ she teased.

Paul crawled over and stopped just in front of her shoe.

‘This is David, my husband, you will of course call him Sir or Master’ she said. Paul recognised him as the man from the car park the day before. ‘Nice to meet you Master’ Paul managed, David just nodded back at him.

‘And these two lovely ladies are our wonderful maids, Miss Vicki and Miss Grace, go and greet them as you would any superior female’

Paul crawled to the couch and kissed the feet of each girl, he kept his head bowed as he said ‘nice to meet you Miss Grace, Miss Vicki’

Both girls were around 18 and had been recruited by Jac and David, not for their ability’s as maids but primarily on looks, figure and interest in the lifestyle.

Grace had jet black hair, styled in a French plat that ran halfway down her back. In contrast Vicki was blonde, she wore hers down, it was straight and finished just above her ample breasts. It was Vicki that leant forward and said

‘You can smell them if you like’ indicating towards her socks.

Paul flushed bright red, he knew all eyes were on him as he knelt naked in the room, he felt exposed but also it was one of his biggest fantasies.

‘Th thank you Miss’ he stuttered, she turned the sole of her left foot towards him and he held her ankle gently, moving his face towards her foot until his nose was in contact with her sock. He breathed in deeply through his nose, and let out a long sigh, his other hand automatically moving to his rock hard cock and he started stroking.

David looked at Jac and winked, and she smiled back at him.

‘Ian’ Jac called ‘go and join Paul, poor Miss Grace is feeling left out’

Ian stopped licking the trainers and crawled to Grace, adopted a similar pose to Paul, took her foot and started taking in deep breaths, he too reached for his little boner and started stroking again.

Ian and Paul were both firmly in sunspace now, eyes closed, breathing deeply and stroking slowly as they took in the sweaty aromas of the girls socks. Vicki and Grace grinned at each other ‘shall we let them have sockpussy’ Vicki said ‘ooh yes’ Grace agreed. They both took off a sock and gave it to the men ‘put these over your little willys and worship our feet.

Ian and Paul took the trainer socks the girls gave them and pulled them down over their little cocks, both letting out a groan as the socks were still warm. Ian immediately started kissing Miss Graces foot, it was still a little sweaty and she’d obviously been wearing her trainers most of the day, as he gently licked up her sole and tasted the slightly saltiness his little willy throbbed as he stroked it though the sockpussy. Paul softly kissed Miss Vicki’s foot before licking between her toes, bits of fluff got on his tongue but he didn’t care, her feet were perfectly and tasted wonderful.

Grace and Vicki leaned into each other and started kissing, this nearly sent the subs over the edge and both stopped stroking simultaneously for fear of having an unauthorised orgasm which was strictly forbidden, to their credit they did continue with their foot worship which made Jac smile to herself.

The girls were tongues deep now and their hands were wandering over each other, softly moaning as they touched each others breasts.

As lan sucked on Miss Grace’s big toe he could feel the end of his sockpussy getting wet, he could feel the precum oozing from his orgasm denied cock. It had been 4 weeks since his last ruined orgasm, which to his shame was over and done with in under a minute, since then it had been continued masturbation and edging making his poor dick leak pretty much all the time.

Paul risked having another stroke but as soon as he touched himself he could feel his balls tighten and he stopped right away, he too was leaking like a dripping tap.

Jac and David sat watching the show unroll before them. It was making them both horny and Jac decided there and then that after dinner they’d all be having an early night.

After the time in the sitting room the two subs were dispatched to the kitchen to make dinner.

‘But I don’t know how to cook’ Paul said to Ian

‘It’s ok, you’ll learn, I did all the cooking at home so it’s no problem’ Ian replied cheerfully and handed him a peeler

‘You can peel I take it’

Paul chuckled ‘well yeah I guess so’

He look down at his cock, it was still sticking out and engorged

‘Will this ever go down’ he gestured to it, Ian shook his head

‘No I’m afraid not, did you have the hypnosis session earlier’ he asked and Paul nodded

‘Well while you were under Goddess will have given you a jab, I don’t know what’s in it but I’m guessing some form of viagra, mines like this all the time’

Paul’s eyes widened again ‘all the time, shit’

‘Yeah all the the time, and you’ll also find you’ll be stroking more and more, it’s the only way to take your mind off the aching’

‘Oh fuck’ Paul said ‘does she let us cum’

‘Occasionally’ Ian grimaced ‘mine was 4 weeks ago’

Paul was just about to say something when he heard heels coming down the hall way and quickly started peeling a potato.

‘Everything ok boys’ Jac enquired from the kitchen door

‘Yes Goddess’ they both replied

‘And what are we having tonight’

‘Steak bearnaise, triple cooked chips and vegetables Goddess’ Ian quickly replied

‘Excellent, and what about you two’

‘Boiled rice with left over chicken and peas Goddess’

‘Lovely, and don’t forget you’ll need another bowl for Paul’

‘Yes Goddess of course’

We’ll be in the dining room when you’re ready, just popping the wine open now’ and with that she turned and left.

‘Rice and peas’ Paul exclaimed

‘Don’t forget who we are to her, think yourself lucky we get it hot’ Ian replied ‘oh and we have to eat out of a bowl on the floor’

‘Anything else I should know’ Paul replied a little too sarcastically

‘Hey man, don’t shoot the messenger’ Ian shot back

‘Shit, sorry mate, it’s just a lot to take in is all’

‘Yeah I know but you’ll soon get used to it, it is after all what we both wanted’

Paul nodded, looked down at his engorged little willy and carried on peeling the spuds.

Jac, David, Grace and Vicki were sat around the large dining table chatting and drinking wine when Ian and Paul arrived with the food.

‘Oooh that looks lovely boys’ Jac enthused

‘Thank you Goddess’ Ian replied and then motioned to Paul to follow him, they went back to the kitchen and got a bowl of food and a bowl of water each and returned to the dining room.

Placing their bowls either side of Jac the knelt down and started to eat. Paul was finding it difficult, even though the food bowl was quite shallow he was determined to eat it all as he was starving. Jac leant down and ran her fingernails through his hair ‘good boy, you’re doing well’ she said kindly. Paul felt goosebumps all over his body and his already hard cock strain a little more, he liked being a good boy.

The meal went down well, the wine was flowing and everyone was laughing and joking while the two subs were pretty much ignored. They busied themselves licking and kissing Goddesses shoes once they had finished their rice.

After dinner Jac, David and the girls retired to the sitting room while Ian and Paul cleaned up the plates and cutlery, reset the dining room ready for breakfast, washed, dried and put everything away and then cleaned down the kitchen.

Paul puffed out his cheeks and blew, looked at Ian and said ‘if we do all this, what exactly do Miss Grace and Vicki do’

‘They do whatever Goddess asks them to do’ Ian replied ‘but then WE do whatever they tell US to do, you’ll see better tomorrow how it works……..but they do dress sexy’ and with that Ian started stroking his cock and let out a groan as he pictured in his mind their long nylon clad legs and patent black heels.

Once they’d finished their chores the two subs joined everyone else on the sitting room, Ian indicated to Paul they should kneel and wait as there was some heavy petting going on. What surprised Paul was Master David had Vicki on his knee, was kissing her and fondling her breast. Goddess was engaged in a very passionate kiss with Grace.

The two subs watched on as things got steamier, their little cocks stood to attention and leaking profusely.

Eventually Jac broke off with Grace

‘Ahh hello boys, didn’t hear you come in’ she grinned down at them ‘shall we all retire to the bedroom’ and with that they all stood and trooped off upstairs while Ian and Paul cleared the glasses away before joining the party in the bedroom.

When Paul and Ian entered the room they immediately got down to their hands and knees. David was sat in the chair, Vicki and Grace on the bed and Jac stood before the bed holding two blindfolds.

‘Now as you’re both pussy and nudity free you’ll need to put these on’ and she threw the blindfolds to the subs ‘don’t want you seeing and naughty bits do we’ Jac giggled.

Ian and Paul pulled the blindfolds on and everything went dark. They both listened intently as they could hear people starting to undress.

Paul heard footsteps and then felt a hand on his head ‘give me your hand’ it was David.

Paul slowly raised his hand and then felt David grab his wrist ‘hold this’ Paul’s hand was moved until he could feel something touching his fingers. Paul knew right away what it was when he took hold properly, he was holding David’s cock! He’d never touched another man’s cock before but compared to his own, this felt huge, he couldn’t touch his fingers and thumb together, not by a mile.

David spoke again ‘you boy, suck’

Paul opened his mouth with trepidation but to his relief he heard Ian reply ‘yes Sir’

Paul could hear Ian slurping up and down and his lips kept touching his hand, the cock that was huge before now started stiffening even more.

Over the other side of the room Jac and the two girls were on the bed, kissing and caressing each other, Vicki had her fingers deep inside Graces pussy and Jac was softly sucking her nipples.

Ian could hear Grace moaning loudly and knew he was being use to prepare David’s huge cock for her.

Ian certainly didn’t see himself as gay, but since taking his place in the household it was made clear he’d be expected to be a ‘fluffer’ for David to get him, and keep him hard for the ladies, this is one job he wouldn’t mind sharing with the new recruit he thought as the enormous bellend invaded his throat.

[qrrieterisunnq]

jack and ara saying i love you the first time

here you go my sweet nonnie!

strawberry girl masterlist

The sound of fire crackling and laughter fills the backyard of the lake house. The whole Hughes family and some friends of the boys are sitting around the bonfire, chatting, and messing around with each other.

Amara is sitting on Jack’s lap laughing at something Ellen said. Jack’s hands are wrapped tightly around her body, to keep her on his lap. His head is resting atop Amara’s head, as he plants kisses on her head here and there.

Even though they are together for a few months, Jack can’t help but tell Amara how he feels. But he doesn’t want to scare her.

He knows her so well he's afraid, that if he tells her, she will feel like she needs to tell him too even if she doesn't feel the same. „Ara, could you please help me in the kitchen?“ Ellen asks an hour later when the table with food and drink is empty.

“Yeah! Of course!” she says with a smile. She stands up from Jack's lap, who immediately pulls her back down, as his protective instincts shots up. “I'm going to help your mom, baby, let me go.” she giggles pushing his hands off of her and making her way inside, hot on Ellen’s tail.

“You should tell her.” Quinn says to his brother, who looks at him with furrowed brows.

“You two are so obvious...” Luke joins his eldest brother, staring at Jack's confused and surprised face.

“Tell her what?” he asks stupidly, trying to play it off. But of course, he knows what they're talking about. He knows his brothers know him as the back of their palms, just like he knows them.

“Stop making an idiot of yourself and tell her how you feel!” this time it's Jim who speaks, his words are soft, as he watches his middle son. He can see how much he's down for this girl.

“I can't,” Jack shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair. “I don't want to scare her. Plus she probably doesn't even feel the same.”

“And how do you know that?” Luke raises his brow in question, shifting in his chair to get a comfortable position, so his ass doesn't hurt.

“Just guessing. We've been dating only a few months I don't think she loves me.” He shakes his head chuckling slightly at himself.

“Yeah, well stop guessing and just tell her. It’ll be worse and worse if you’ll keep the feelings inside you.” Jim says to him, sipping from his beer.

Jack hangs his head low, not wanting to continue this conversation. Sure he wants to tell Amara he loves her, he wants it so much, but he doesn’t want to push her. When she’ll feel the same, she will tell him. The house doors slide open, revealing Ellen and Amara with drinks and food. Jac’s smile widens when he catches a glimpse of her girl laughing at something his mom told her.

“Hey, baby.” She grins down at him, sits back on his lap, and presses a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Hi, Berry.” He grins when he feels her lips pressing against his skin, closing his eyes briefly. “Kiss me.” He breathes out with his eyes still closed.

Amara leans down, pressing a delicate kiss to Jack’s plump lips. Resting her forehead on his she lets out a sigh, watching his features. “I love you, Jacky.” Her voice is barely above a whisper as she watches him.

Jack pulls his head away from hers, his eyes wide a little bit at the sentence she just said. “You what?” he whispers surprise written all over his face.

“I-I love you.” She says even quieter, her eyes running between his as she’s looking for something in them. Tears start to well up when Jack doesn’t say anything for a while. She pulls away from him, swallowing hard trying to hold the tears inside.

“N-No, no my love,” Jack shakes his head, bringing his hand to her chin to bring her face towards his. “I love you too my sweet girl,” He smiles widely at her, kissing her lips. “I love you so fucking much.”

Amara giggles pressing her forehead to his, rubbing her nose on his in an eskimo kiss. Jack chuckles, as he hugs her around her waist pulling her as close as possible to his body.

[thymejot]

About your meta, I guess the thing is if you believe that Word Of God is canon or not. Jac Schaeffer said that Agatha was thinking she wanted to save Billy and kiss Rio and that she never wanted to bring Nicholas back. For me it’s not canon unless I like what they say 😝 but the fun of reading meta is to see everyone’s sometimes wildly different takes and in the end of the day people can think anything they want because we all bring our preferences, our bias and even our traumas to it

I believe Agatha truly loved Rio, I believe there was considerable time in their lives that they weren’t toxic to each other in any way and I believe that aren’t done, they still have centuries to work out their issues but I know there are plenty of fans that don’t believe in any if that. who’s right, who’s wrong I don’t think anyone can know and as long as everyone is respectful it’s all good. I just hope this fandom continues to be fun for a long time cause we all need the distraction

It is what I love about shows like this. Honestly, I dont think there is a right or wrong way to look at things.

Like you say, everyone has their own bias and will project onto characters. I really enjoy it when people want to have discussions about the things I love. I really appreciate you wanting to talk about this with me.

And the fact that while you may disagree with me on some points, you are not mean about it and are challenging me to look at things from a different perspective. So, thank you.

While I find it interesting to read up on writers intent, I don't ever take it as gospel unless it is there on screen. Between now and a potential next project with these characters, the writers could have evolved their ideas or changed their own interpretation of the characters. So I try not to hold too tightly to what they say.

Instead, I like to take what I have seen on the screen. The characters have shown us who they are with word, action, and deed. Every choice they have made forms who they are. A show not tell approach if you will.

I agree with you, Rio and Agatha love each other deeply. There was a time that it was far less toxic, and there may come a time when that is true once more.

I want to see them in all of their evolutions and iterations.

I want to see Agatha, the mentor. She has never been one to pull her verbal punches, so she won't take any nonsense. Her dynamic with Billy is so good that I would like to see that explored more.

I want to see Billy explore his powers, find his brother, and grow up a little more without being hardened by the world.

I want to see Jen flourish as she reaquaints herself with her power once more. Still snarky but less brittle. If she ever sees Agatha and Teen, have her just turn around and get the fuck away from them. Because they only lead to death.

In the end, though, my opinion is just one in a sea of thousands. I will write some ridiculous fanfics to get this show out of my system. Maybe make them a bit too oc for my own liking. Hopefully, I will learn from that and get better.

I just want to have fun with things. I don't want to hurt anyone with things I post unless it is superficial emotional damage (I eat that shit up). I hope you keep having fun with it, too.

In the end, as much as it pains me to admit it, these are not real people. So why not just go buck wild with our imaginations and throw them in every conceivable scenario. It's not like it will hurt anyone, so why not.

Feel free to chat with me any time

[jacscorner]

Jeez, Tumblr, what's the point of a community label for mature and sexual themes then?

I know that maybe, like, 5 people on this site would've actually gave a damn, but, like, come on.

But whatever, I guess. Here's a link to my dA stash of the pic and story proper. It DOES involve NSFW art from a D-Tier artist, so be wary.

[pucksalotguys]

Chapter 7

Masterlist to series

WC: 7.4K

CW: SMUT, MNI

Back with chapter 7 and it’s a loooooong one !!! Got a little bit of everything so hold tight and enjoy !! There’s toxicity, mess and so much more 💙💙

(Please remember to like, reblog, add tags, comment and leave me some asks to let me know what you think (anon is on for a reason so don’t be shy, I promise I’m nice 🫶)

The nearly 5 hour plane ride to Las Vegas had been Sidney’s own personal hell, aside from the time with Roman and Aaron watching a movie, he and Jacqueline hadn’t said a word to each other. No matter what he would ask he would get short answers back, when he moved to sit next to her she simply went on her phone. He had no idea what was up with her but he did know he was gonna snap at any moment “It’s almost time for landing” Jacqueline grinned as she put the boys' seat belts on “Remember what I said when we land ?” “I don’t wanna swim” Roman frowned “I don’t like the water” “Aaron wants to love” she pet his cheek “We’ll do something you want to do tonight”

“Like what mommy ?” he asked Jacqueline grinned “Well I heard there’s a candy store here…how about if you try the water for a bit I promise to let you have a lollipop after dinner ?” Sidney chuckled as his sons eyes practically bulged out of his head “Sounds like a good deal to me” “I can be lenient for occasions” she shrugged “It wasn’t a dig” he sighed “I didn’t take it as one” she responded as she put her sunglasses on “Dinner is at 7, be on time please. We’re going to Joel Robuchon” “Jac, that's a 3 Michelin star place ? I thought we could do something more low key tonight, that’s a little over the top don’t you think ?” he asked She sighed “Forgive me for wanting top notch cuisine and not some basic steakhouse we can have back in the city” “I’ll be there” Sidney gave up and nodded “Who will the kids be with ?” “Emmeli’s nanny” she informed him “Don’t worry she’s a nice woman, very kind and very responsible. The boys love being around Daisy so it works out” “Cool” he said simply as he took out his phone

He did his best to hide his smile as he finally saw a text back from Cece. He nonchalantly opened the text and grinned So sorry I’m just now getting back to you, got a little caught up with some stuff. Everything is all set, see you in a bit.

“How sweet of her” Jacqueline said meeting his eyes “She’s just a little ray of sunshine isn’t she ?”

Sidney put his phone away and swirled his coffee cup, he knew he was being baited and he knew he had to play it cool rather than snap “She’s a very kind girl, did you know she’s the one who made sure we got a hotel with handicapped amenities ? That wasn’t management, that was her.”

“So she did her job” Jacqueline nodded “Good for her, glad to know she’s capable of following the most basic instructions. I worried all that curly hair of hers clouded her brain”

He shook his head and finished his coffee as they landed, before she could even get up from her seat he unbuckled the boys himself and got them down from the plane and into the car that was waiting. The drive to their hotel was quiet and this time he enjoyed it, whatever Jacqueline was trying to do wouldn’t work on him. Not this time at least.

When they arrived he checked them in and left to the conference room where he saw Cece waiting and chatting with some other team media personnel. He greeted a few people before he made eye contact with her and smiled, walking in her direction

“Hey…haven’t seen you in a bit” Sidney grinned as he stood in front of her

“Hello Sidney” Cecelia smiled at him “Long time no see”

He nodded with a bashful smile “3 days to be exact, how have you been ? You getting sick ? Your voice sounds a little wheezy”

“Oh…yeah” she nodded quickly “The AC in these rooms is insane, so so cold all the time. My throats just a little scratchy is all, I’ll be okay” she walked with him “Nice to see you looking….sharp”

Sidney chuckled “So what’s on the schedule today ?”

“A photoshoot in 10 minutes followed by 4 interviews, looking like it’ll take about 4 hours” Cece nodded “Don’t worry you’ll be ready for your dinner reservation at 7”

“How do you know about that ?” he asked confused “I’m the one who made the reservation” she looked at him equally as confused “Joel Robuchon at 7 followed by cocktails at Skybar and then the next day is, hold on” she took out her ipad “Morning massages at the Aria followed by lunch at Mon Ami Gabi and ending the night with a chef coming to your room to cook you dinner in your suite” “What the hell ?” Sidney shook his head “I don’t wanna do that, I wanna relax and hang out with the boys” “I don’t know what to tell you Sidney” Cece shrugged “I just did what was asked of me, she was texting me and emailing me nonstop making sure I had everything set which I do so here’s to hoping it all works out well for you two. Now if you don’t mind, I need to go” A moment crossed his mind where he wanted to tell her that Jacqueline was being weird, that he felt something would somehow get turned on her. “Cece wait” he held her arm gently “Um…can we talk after this ?” “That’s not necessary Sidney and plus there’s no time” she shook her head “By the time you’re done with media you need to go get ready” Sidney sighed “What about early tomorrow ?” “No” she shook her head “Listen, you need to leave me alone okay ? Enough of whatever this is” she whispered “I’m not gonna be some stupid naive assistant you get to fuck and have fun with all because your wife has a constant stick up her ass alright ? You’re here with her and your children, have some fucking decorum Sidney” “Is it her ? Did she threaten you ?” he asked “I don’t want that with you, I would never do that to you Cece” “She’s fine Sidney” she said exhausted “Please I don’t want issues, just….just enjoy your time with her and your children” “Listen I’m sorry about all this, I really really am….I just like you” he whispered “Please only contact me by email for anything that has to do with this trip, call if it is an absolute emergency” Cecelia said as she looked at him “I…..I like you too but…but it just…I can’t” she murmured and walked away

Media ended for the day and soon she now had the rest of her day free from the chaos and unneeded drama. She felt horrible for the way things happened with Sidney but wasn’t going to let someone like Jacqueline find her in a compromising position. She knew women like her, women who were powerful and would stop at nothing to make her life miserable simply because she didn’t like her

“Hey” a familiar voice called “I know that hair, you haven’t texted me back so I came here to wait for you so we can go somewhere”

Cecelia felt her cheeks rise as she turned around and smiled “Nate ”

“Media’s over for the day, you didn’t text me back” he walked up to her and held her hand “Are you okay ?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine” she grinned “Just tired is all”

“Same here” he chuckled “So what do you say ? Dinner ?”

“Nate I can’t go out with you, I can’t be seen with you” she whispered lowly “Even us being in this elevator can cause problems for me”

“You’re even hotter when you’re all flustered” his hand caressed her cheek

For a moment she felt herself get light headed, his hand was huge. She hadn’t noticed till now just how big they were despite them doing wonders to her body just a night ago. Nate was handsome, handsome in a rugged way and seeing him in bright lighting was somehow even better

“I’m being serious” she said softly as they stepped out of the elevator “I don’t wanna get in trouble”

“Let’s go to Circus Circus, it’s some shitty hotel for kids that’s got games and rides where no one will see us” he grinned “Come on, I’ve never ever been and I wanna see what kind of a shit show it is, I’ll even win you a stuffed animal”

She thought about it for a bit and sighed “Fuck it let’s do it”

Nate put his arm around her “We’ll go wherever you wanna go but first answer one thing for me ?” “What is it ?” she looked up at him “Why didn’t you answer my texts ?” he asked softly Cecelia couldn’t help but smile at his slight concern “Well I was busy, I knew you were busy too and I knew at some point I’d see you again. I wasn’t ignoring you, I wouldn’t do that” she reached up and kissed his cheek “So you still wanna talk to me and go out with me then ?” Nate looked at her “I’m going with you right now” she chuckled “No I mean like….when I go back to Colorado” he said softly “Like you’ll still wanna talk and see each other when we can right ?” She rubbed her lips together as she moved out of his hold to stand in front of him “Do you mean like….you wanna date ?” “Yeah I do” Nate admitted “I like you Cece, I like you a lot and it’s not just because we had mind blowing sex” he chuckled “That was a perk but it’s beyond that. You’re so pretty and funny and you’re smart and you have a good head on your shoulders. You’re perfect, you’re literally the most perfect girl I’ve ever met and we’ll take it slow, I promise we will. ” Cecelia gave a soft smile, he was sincere and she loved that but she couldn’t lie to him “I like you too but-” “But….” he looked at her as his smile fell slightly “But what ?” “Is there a need to rush things ? Can’t we just take things day by day….I mean I don’t even know when I’ll see you again after this trip Nate” she explained “You’re schedule is about to get so insane and so is mine, I just don’t wanna give you some false promises is all. I would want the same from you” “I see” Nate said quietly “Well thanks for being honest with me, I appreciate it lots. At least I said it, you know ? Didn’t hurt to try”

“I take it you don’t wanna hangout now ?” she whispered “Not really” he admitted “It’s not anything against you it’s just….you understand don’t you ?” Cecelia nodded “Yeah of course” “Call me if anything” Nate reached over and kissed her forehead “Want me to walk you back to your room ?” She shook her head “I can walk back on my own, thanks for offering though” “I’ll see you around Cece” he gave her a grin “Plus you have my number, you know where to find me” She gave him a small smile and walked back, she felt horrible for the way things had gone and in a way felt like she had led him on but after seeing Sidney again she knew her mind and heart needed to be clear before she made any decision like that. With a defeated attitude she opened her hotel door and put the Do Not Disturb sign on the handle as she locked it “Cecelia I-”

A high pitched scream left her mouth as she put a hand to her chest “Oh my god how the hell did you get in here ?”

“I’m so sorry” Sidney whispered as he stood up “I lied and got a worker to give me a key to your room”

“Are you out of your mind ?!” she snapped “That’s insanity, that’s you being insane ! You can’t do that, it’s so fucking weird and creepy”

Sidney rubbed his face “How else was I supposed to speak to you ? You’re ignoring me and it’s not like you at all”

Cecelia shook her head “Where’s your wife ? Where are your children”

“She’s with the other wives that are here and as for the boys they’re with a nanny and as you can see it’s still early so I have plenty of time to talk, anything else you wanna ask about ?”

“Yeah” she nods “How dare you do this and come to my room to talk while your wife and children are with you ? That’s low. Lower than low actually. I’ve done nothing with you, you’re the one who’s kissed me twice. You’re the one who makes it more than what it is. Not me” Sidney put his hands up “And I accept that, things are hard. I never meant to have feelings for you yet here I am. I just wanna talk, I just want us to talk and to-” he stopped when he bent down and picked up a blazer “What’s this ?” “A blazer of some sort” she walked over and snatched it back “Don’t touch my things please, that’s rude. You should have manners” “I know what it is Cece, who’s is it ?” he asked as he crossed his arms This was the moment she dreaded, it was one she thought she’d have more time to explain. Rather than beat around the bush she opted to be honest, he had no right to be mad or hold anything against her anyway. Just as she was about to tell him she heard her door knock and whipped her head over 

**************************

“I put a sign up wanting to be left alone” Sidney’s eyes practically bulged out of his head as he shook his head “Wh-what if it’s her ?” “Hide” Cecelia whispered “Check first” he nodded “If it’s her then….then I face her” “Hide in the bathroom and stay there” she instructed as she walked over to the door and peeked in the peephole, opening it slowly “Oh…hey…um what are you doing here ?” “Listen Cece, I like you a lot and I know you said you don’t wanna give me false promises but I don’t wanna go back to Colorado with us ending awkwardly. I wanna hang out, I wanna spend time with you” Nate grinned “Okay” she agreed, mostly to get him out of the way “Okay….but first here” she handed him back his blazer “You forgot this last night and I hope you’re ready to win me lots of stuffed animals at circus circus. I’ll meet you in the lobby at 8” “Sweet” Nate smiled as he left

Cecelia shut the door quickly and turned around, she knew Sidney had heard it all and in a way she was glad. She had the freedom to be with whoever she wanted, it just so happened to a friend of his

“Wow” Sidney cleared his throat “So you and Nate ?” Cecelia shook her head “It happened out of nowhere. I don’t owe you explanations” “He’s my close friend, I’ve known him since he was 17 years old. He’s an uncle figure to my boys” Sidney looked at her “Why him ?” “Because I like him…and because I wanna still see him” she admitted “He’s so nice and he’s funny and I just liked being around him”

“One night is all you guys had and suddenly you wanna keep seeing him ? You like him ? Who the hell moves that fast ?” What about me ?” he stepped forward, inches away from her face as he pulled her in “You can’t do that to me, that’ll hurt me” “You ?!” she widened her eyes “Listen to yourself ! Listen to the words coming out of your mouth Sidney. You and I are nothing, you can’t be saying things like that. You need to go” Before she could walk out of his hold his lips pressed onto hers unexpectedly just like always, only this time she kissed him back. She kept her arms around his neck as he moved his hands into her hair “Oh shit…it’s stuck” he whispered as he tried to remove his hand

“Ow” Cece winced, trying to move her head “What is it ? Your watch ?”

Sidney looked down “My wedding band”, he whispered

She felt her stomach churn and held onto his arm “Get your hand out of my head carefully please, I have scissors in my makeup bag”

“But you’ll cut your hair, I don’t want that. I love your hair” he said quickly as he did as told and followed her into the bathroom  “Here let me try to untangle it, I don’t want you cutting your hair”

“Don’t” she put her hand up and took out her brow scissors, she felt around the back of her head until she felt the band and gently cut around it and held it in the palm of her hand.

It was a beautiful simple gold band with the initials J.A.R inscribed on the inside; his wife and their children's initials. She cleaned around it with a tissue gently and handed it back Sidney took it and put it back on his ring finger as silence took over the room, the bathroom light reflecting off his band perfectly   “Cece…you should know that I’m falling in love with you” he looked in her eyes “I can’t keep lying to myself”

“You can’t Sidney” she whispered “That can’t happen, it can’t. I won’t be the reason a family is broken, I won’t be the reason your children don’t have a mom and dad together”

“It was already crumbled before I met you” he admitted “Meeting you just proved that it needs to be over, that doesn’t mean I give up on my boys. They’re my world, I love them and nothing and no one will ever stop me from being with them.”

“I don’t want to be a stepmom” Cecelia said back “And I don’t like kids that much” she lied “And no way would I ever deal with your wife on top of that, have you thought about me in this ? What I want and what I see for myself ?”

“I know I’d make you the happiest woman alive” he said softly “I know I’d be with you forever”

“Stay here with me then” she met his eyes

It was a test, one she wasn’t even sure how she wanted to end. She could feel her heartbeat out of her chest as she met his eyes and reached over to caress his cheek. He was truly gorgeous, there was something about Sidney that was more than handsome. His eyes were these huge brown doe eyes that just sparkled whenever he was happy, more so when they were together in any instance. His lips were perfect, his smile was everything. There wasn’t one thing that was ugly about him, to her he was flawless

Taking it up a notch she brought his face down to hers to kiss him, pressing against him in the process. Instinctively she let out a moan when his hand reached down to cup her ass and swiftly turned them around so she was against the wall, every part of her ached as he kissed down her neck and unbuttoned his shirt with his free hand, removing his suit jacket along with it. Things were heating up and this time she wouldn’t stop them

Her breathing picked up when he pulled apart from her and got on his knees, rapidly bringing down her skirt and panties 

“Put your legs over my shoulders” he murmured She listened instantly and held onto his head as he began tasting her, his tongue was quick, almost desperate. It was a totally different feeling than what she had felt with Nate, Sidney was making sure she felt how frenzied he was for her. Her fingers delicately played with his grayish heavily gelled curls, tugging when he sucked her clit “I love how good you taste” he lapped up her juices “I don’t ever wanna stop” “Keep going…please keep going” she whined “Oh fuck, I love that” “I love tasting you” Sidney mumbled as he kept his mouth on her, his hands caressing her thighs as he leaned his head against one “I love how fucking hot you are, I love how you’re perfect…you’re perfect…I need you” he kissed her clit and inserted two of his fingers “Oh god” Cecelia moaned biting down on her lip “You’re g-gonna m-make me cum” “Please cum, please cum” he begged “I need you to, I need you to cum for me” he inserted a third finger and pumped them in and out “That’s a good girl, you’re taking my fingers like such a good girl” he whispered “Cum for me…let go baby” Cece couldn’t handle the feeling as she came with a loud moan, she felt him carefully hold her in his arms as she breathed heavily and at this point she needed him. She gave him a nod as he laid her down on the bed and took out a condom from his back pocket, she wondered if he had it there knowing they’d finally sleep together or if it was for Jacqueline.

She took off her top and bra as she watched him take off his wedding band and put it in pants pocket, immediately throwing them on the floor and sliding the condom onto his cock from the opposite end of the bed “I can…suck you off if you want” she whispered “I just wanna be inside of you alr-” he stopped as he looked at her, she was naked and every part of her was everything he dreamed of and more

“Fuck me…” he murmured and scooted over to her, positioning himself between her legs as he easily slid inside of her She arched her back up at the feeling and shut her eyes in over stimulation as he relentlessly started thrusting into her quickly, while his mouth sucked on her breasts “Y-You can’t do both…i-it’s a-alot” she panted “I’m sorry baby” he whispered, lifting his head concerned he had hurt her “I’ll go slow, I’m so sorry” he peppered her face with soft kisses “I’m sorry….I would never hurt you princess” “Thank you” she opened her eyes again, wrapping her arms around his neck while her nails gently scratched his nape “Be gentle, it’s okay” she kissed him softly “I need you….”

“I’ll go slow” Sidney whispered, his finger tracing down her cheek as he began thrusting again “That okay ?” “I like that” Cece nodded with a slight moan “You’re so good, you were made for me baby” he kissed her deeply “I love these lips, they’re mine, you’re all mine Cece” Cece stayed looking in his eyes as he continued to fuck her, she couldnt look away and neither could he. Every couple seconds he’d kiss her or press her forehead against his telling her how perfect and gorgeous she was, it was tender despite his desire for her. In return she kissed his face and rubbed his back “I love everything about you” she kissed his cheeks and nose delicately as he snuggled into her neck, his hand behind her hair “You’re so sexy, you’re so good to me right now….go harder….I want it a little rough” “I don’t wanna hurt you” Sidney murmured, his face crimson and full of sweat “I don’t wanna hurt you princess, I like this. I like looking at your pretty face as I make love to you, I don’t wanna stop looking at you”

“You won’t hurt me” she mumbled in response, holding his face in her hands and squishing his cheeks together slightly as she kissed his lips “Don’t you want me…show me, show me how bad you’ve wanted me”

“Get on your knees and face that mirror” he instructed as he pulled out “I want you to watch yourself”

Cecelia rapidly got in position and rolled her eyes back when he slammed inside of her “Yes, yes ! Oh fuck you’re fucking me so good” she cried out “This is what I want baby”

“You feel so good” he groaned as he held onto her hips “You tell me if it hurts okay love ?”

She nodded and looked in the mirror and almost came right then and there, the sight of him holding onto her hips and hammering into her was turning her on. He was a gentle man in bed but in this moment he was being a little more in control “Harder baby” she whimpered, holding onto the bed sheets and leaning her head back to look at him “I can take it harder” “It’s okay princess, I got you” he panted as he rubbed her backside and slowly pulled out, teasing her entrance with his tip carefully as he leaned over her body to kiss her temple “Shh, I got you love, don’t over strain yourself. I’m gonna take care of you” “I want you to make me yours” she whispered “I wanna be yours…I wanna be all yours, I want your cock inside of me every day like this” “I’ll give you whatever you want love, I’ll make love to you every day every hour of the day if you want me to” he traced his fingers down her back “You’re all mine Cece, you’re all mine” She let out a groan as his hands began to gently massage her ass, she laid her head down and breathed in slowly “That feels so nice baby…so so nice” “How are you real” he whispered kissing her backside “Your body is the best I’ve ever seen, I think God made you himself Cece” 

****************************

The compliment sent shivers down her spine, her mind couldn’t gather one coherent thought as he turned her around and kissed her again, this time making sure to slip in some tongue. It was passionate and soon all they could both hear were each other's moans and the sound of saliva being moved around between their mouths. She moved against his thigh when he positioned it between her legs and moaned at the friction

“You’re so wet already” Sidney whispered “You’re such a needy girl Cece, you like riding my thigh baby ?”

“Yes” she responded with heavily lidded eyes “Feels so good” she moved a bit faster, getting on top of him as she continued her movement, her hands on his chest “Fuck”

“Keep doing that” Sidney instructed as he watched her and reached his hands to caress her breasts, carefully tugging on her nipples as he sucked on them “Every part of you tastes so good”

Cece panted as she continued her movement and felt her face heat up as her hands kept his face on her breasts “I’m almost there…I know it…oh god” she whimpered moving faster “I’m gonna cum….I’m gonna….k-keep doing that” she gasped when she felt his thumb on her clit and slowly enjoyed the feeling “Oh….Oh Sidney, baby” “I know” he cooed as he looked at her “You need to squirt pretty girl, don’t hold back princess. I want you to let go, I want to see how pretty you look when you squirt”

Sidney took it upon himself to continue rubbing her clit slowly until he knew it was coming, just as he noticed her quiet whines and the way her mouth shaped into an O shape out came the gush he had been waiting for. He had never actually seen it happen before, only heard of it and the fact that it had happened with the girl of his dreams was all he needed

He watched as he tried to gain control of her breathing and pulled her close to him, caressing her cheek as he started another make out session for a bit. He just couldn’t keep his lips or hands off of her. When they pulled apart, the first thing Cece noticed were his dazed eyes and slightly swollen lips, she leaned over and softly pressed a kiss to his forehead

“Can I be inside of you again now” he murmured against her mouth “Please baby, I’ll fuck you so good” his hand reached down to her pussy, looking into her eyes as she nodded “I love the way you moan when I’m inside of you” he guided his cock back inside of her and got on top “I’m gonna make you feel so good all over again, is that okay ?”

“Make me cum, I wanna cum again” she wheezed out desperate for that feeling again “I need you to make me cum baby. Fuck my pussy”

This time things were faster and a little more desperate. She moaned loudly as he pounded into her, the headboard slamming against the wall ferociously. She was sure she’d get a noise complaint somehow. Her breasts bounced roughly as she kept eye contact and kept her arms around him. Her hold on him was the only thing keeping her somewhat stable, she knew if she let go he’d fuck her right off the mattress

“You like this ?” he breathed heavily “Look at you, look at your pussy and how well you take me. Look at your tits, how perfect they are just bouncing away”

“I love your cock” Cece gasped when he lifted her leg up 

“Is that okay ?” he asked, salty droplets from his face and neck hitting her cheeks

“I’m flexible” she nodded, her hair frizzing from the moisture

At the mention he lifted both her legs between his arms in eagle position and pounded into her, getting a better sensation as he slammed in and out of her, “Oh fuck !” Cece shrieked loudly “Yes ! Yes ! Fuck me baby, fuck me !”,she shook uncontrollably as he pounded mercilessly into her and soon felt him tense up “I-I’m g-gonna c-cum” Sidney stuttered out “I’m gonna cum, cum with me love” he thrusted as hard as he could “Cum with me baby, please cum with me”

She squirmed and fought it as long as she could, finishing with him as she let out a high pitched whimper and sat up, letting him know she was ready when finished with a deep groan. He quickly removed his condom as she took him in her mouth and bobbed her head “Please keep going” he moaned After a few minutes he released his hold and she swallowed, catching her breath as her arms wrapped around him and he laid on top of her, shaking as his breathing came in slowly “I got you” Cece repeated his words from earlier in his ear, her nails carefully tracing up and down his back “It’s okay baby” she kissed the top of his head “I know you do love” Sidney whispered softly, regaining his consciousness as he nuzzled his face in between her breasts

She didn't even realize they had fallen asleep till looked at the clock by her night stand and saw the time and quickly shook him awake “It’s five, we fell asleep. You need to go !” “I’ll text her something came up” he muttered holding onto he “Cuddle with me, you’re warm” “Sidney no” she whispered 

“What did I do ?” he asked softly 

Cece caressed his cheek “Sidney…..you cheated on your wife, we had an affair” she said softly “We did the one thing we should never have done…this is horrible”

“She doesn’t love me, she doesn’t even like me” he said “I don’t love her, I love our 2 sons and that’s all. That marriage has been over for years Cecelia, years. Meeting you and getting to know you changed me, you’re who I want”

She shook her head “Don’t say things like that”

“Baby” he lifted her chin “I’m in love with you, I want you and only you” he leaned in and kissed her softly 

“And…..and what are you gonna do about Jacqueline ?” she asked, suddenly realizing the severity of the situation “And the boys ?” 

“I’m gonna leave her, as soon as we get back to Pittsburgh I’m gonna file for divorce and move out of the house. I’m gonna get another lawyer to help with custody so I can see the boys as much as possible…..you didn’t mean what you said right….you like kids” he whispered the last part

“Yeah” Cece nodded “I do love kids, I said that to push you away….it didn’t work clearly”

“I understand why you did it” Sidney looked at her holding her hand “Cece…please let me handle this, I have people who can make sure this goes as easy and quiet as possible and more than anything to make sure you’re protected. You just need to continue doing what you’re doing”

“You’re asking me to act like everything is okay and you want me to continue seeing you in secret….you want an affair” she looked at him

“I don’t like that word” he kissed her hand “I think of you as my end game”

“It’s what it is Sidney” Cece nodded “We can call it what it is, we’re adults”

She scooted up and brought the bed sheet up to her chest to cover herself, she looked at him then at herself. They both looked like absolute hot messes. Cecelia’s hands shook as she reached for her phone,for a moment  she felt trapped, both physically in the room and emotionally by her realization. The gravity of what had happened began to sink in, each detail adding to her mounting anxiety

“What’s wrong baby ?” he pet her cheek

“Nothing” she shook her head “Just…we should shower, you need to get going”

“Shower with me…” Sidney kissed her

Cece blushed “Seriously go shower, you smell like….sex”

“Only one way to fix this then….we both get in that shower and I wash you off…and then have you as an appetizer” he murmured in her ear “What do you say ?” No words needed to be said as they both got up almost immediately and jumped in the shower. It wasn’t long before she was pressed against the shower door with him pumping in and out of her from the back. She had quickly learned he had quite the sexual appetite, and she was more than ready to oblige. There was something about the way he fucked that just made her even more obsessed with him. He was desperate and needy with his touch and his kisses, he talked her through it and put her first She could feel that familiar feeling of him tensing up and grinded against him as the warm water fell over them “You’re gonna ruin me” Sidney whispered as he continued his thrusts “Shit…I can’t,get on your knees for me” “How do you want me ?” she murmured , doing as told “You wanna cum in my mouth again baby ?” He nodded rapidly as she took him whole and moaned, he put his hands in her hair and pushed down gently, the sounds of her gagging on his cock making him smirk. He released his hold as soon as he finished and didn’t waste time helping her stand up as his fingers entered her. He watched as she started to breathe heavily and held onto his shoulders. Her eyes always started to close whenever she felt pleasure, he was in heaven until he heard his phone ring “Answer” Cece nodded as she caught her breath “What if it’s an emergency ?” Sidney sighed and stepped out of the shower as he answered the phone “Hey what’s up Jac ?” “Sidney I haven’t seen you all day, it’s close to dinner already and you’re not even changed” Jacqueline sighed “Dinner’s at 7 remember ?” “I’m wearing the same thing I wore to media” he said “I’ll be there in a bit, I caught up with some buddies of mine” he lied “I expect you in this room in 20 minutes, I made sure you packed that Armani suit for a reason, it matches my black dress so hurry up” she hung up “Sidney listen to her” Cece nodded as she wrapped a towel around herself “Don’t make her wait”

He quickly dried himself off and changed back into his clothes as he kissed her “I’ll text you, I’ll make sure I see you again before we leave. Remember what I said okay ? You and me Cece, we’re gonna be okay. Just act like normal” “I know” she gave a small smile “I’ll see you” he kissed her head and walked off

************************

Cecelia got ready and let a note for housekeeping to clean her room on the door as she went down to the lobby and spotted Nate “Hey” she smiled “There you are” he grinned, greeting her with a hug “Whoa you look ho-...I mean really nice” She laughed, suddenly feeling shy “I should go change”

“You look….you look like a million bucks” Nate admitted “Now come on, let’s get going” Cece walked with him to an uber and fixed her skirt “I haven’t been to Circus Circus since I was like 8 and it was pretty cool back then, you better ride all the rides with me” “I’ve never ever been but I heard it’s low key a shit show” he chuckled as he got in with her “Lot’s of the guys are heading to these fancy ass dinners and here you and I are….on our way to an arcade” Cece chuckled “It beats a snobby dinner any day”

The neon lights of the Strip were mesmerizing, but it was the blend of nostalgia and excitement at Circus Circus that truly captivated them once they arrived. They headed straight for the hotel's famous arcade as soon as they got out of their uber. 

The sounds of pinball machines and the flashing lights of video games enveloped them as they walked through the entrance. Cece’s eyes lit up as she spotted her favorite game, “Air Hockey.” 

Nate grinned, knowing he was about to face a worthy opponent “I know real hockey, I got a feeling you’re gonna kick my ass here” “You’re right, I am” she grinned They played game after game, laughing and teasing each other. After a particularly intense match, she emerged victorious and playfully gave him a thumbs down

“Beginner’s luck,” Nate joked with a frown “I didn’t stretch, my arm’s all over the place” “Okay loser” Cece chuckled 

As the arcade started to wind down, Cece and Nate decided it was time to tackle the rides. They headed to the Adventure Dome, the indoor amusement park at Circus Circus. The glow of neon lights and the hum of roller coasters created an electric atmosphere.

Their first ride was the “Chaos Coaster,” a roller coaster that spun them in circles while looping and diving. Nate tried his best to maintain his composure as she just laughed at him, never did she expect someone as tough as him to be so nervous. As they exited, her hair was a mess and Nate’s face was flushed red “That was insane” she smiled “You alright ?”

“I’m never doing that shit again” he shook his head quickly

As the night deepened, the Adventure Dome had less and less kids and became more of their own little playground. Cece and Nate wandered through the park, indulging in some junk food as they walked around

“That’s the cutest bear I’ve seen” she pointed a pink teddy bear by the arcade

“I’ll win you it” he chuckled as he paid for 3 basketball shots “Alright here we go” he took a shot and missed, blushing as he looked back at her “Alright second time” he repeated, missing again

“You suck” Cece laughed “I can even make it”

“I was messing around,” Nate said back, shooting the ball for the 3rd time and making it “There we go !” he put his hands up in fake cheer as he took the bear from the worker and handed it over “For you, I keep my word”

She smiled and kissed his cheek softly “Thank you”

“Yeah…yeah for sure” he nodded “Wanna head back and eat some burgers ?  Heard the hotel has a really good place”

“You read my mind” Cece nodded as they walked outside and opted for a cab this time

They arrived back at the Wynn just before midnight and got out, just as Jacqueline and Sidney were getting back at the same time. Cece’s immediately stiffened when she made eye contact with Jacqueline and instinctively held Nate’s hand in hers

“I can’t stand her” Nate mumbled under his breath as they walked “Sid looks wasted, that’s not like him, she looks pissed which is her usual face” “He does look….inebriated” Cece nodded “Um…listen why don’t you go help them out and we can have lunch tomorrow by the pool after media ?” “Yeah okay” he grinned “Sounds good to me, I’ll see you then” 

After a quick goodbye hug she was on her way inside when she heard her name being called, she realized it was none other than Jacqueline and walked over nervously “Yes…Mrs.Crosby”

“I need you to get us another room” Jacqueline ordered “I want the presidential suite, I want warm towels and 4 bottles of sparkling water and ibuprofen there. As you can see, we had a lot of fun tonight” she smiled sweetly

Cece nodded quickly “I-I got it”

“And one more thing” Jacqueline stopped her with a firm hold on her shoulder

“Yes ?” Cece asked

“Cover yourself up Cecelia, you look like you belong at a club and I don’t mean a dance club” she said coldly “Have some respect please”

It was the mention of her name that slowly hot Sidney out his drunken state as he did his best to conceal his erection with his suit jacket upon seeing how good Cecelia looked, what killed it instantly was seeing Nate next to her, his brain was mush but he could see Jacqueline and him having words while Cecelia walked away hastily

“I….I need a bucket” he hoarsed out

“Shit hold it” Nate walked over and put his arm around him as he helped him up “Come on dude, I got you”

“He had one too many shots of whiskey at skybar” Jacqueline rolled her eyes “Not to mention the 2 beers and shot of tequila he had at the hotel room, he was on one” she looked at her phone “And I just got the room confirmation, let’s go” “What got him so drunk ?” Nate asked as security took them to a separate elevator “Beats me” she shrugged as they got off on their floor and into their suite as Nate helped sidney onto the bed “He was happy as can be at dinner, had a smile nice and wide like a cheshire cat while talking with everyone and at the bar, everything was fine, but here we are thanks for helping. See you” She immediately went and changed into her silk nightgown and laid down next to him, undressing him as she kissed him “It’s just us now” “No” Sidney muttered when she felt unbutton his shirt and remove it “Stop Jac,” “Shh” Jacqueline whispered as she straddled him “It’s okay, it’s me baby. I’m just kissing you…I love you so much” “Jac” he repeated louder when she removed his belt “Get off me” he placed his hands on her shoulders “Please” “Sidney…I’m wearing a silk nightie…I look sexy…I want to be intimate with you” she said quietly “You were so happy at dinner, you were laughing and smiling, you were fun at the bar with everyone. I made you happy, you were happy because of me now please….let’s have sex” Sidney shook his head, partly in embarrassment on her behalf, she was making a fool out of herself. She thought he was happy because of her, she thought his mood was because of her. He slowly sat up and rubbed his forehead “I need water” he whispered “And I need rest, I wanna spend the day with the boys tomorrow” Jacqueline handed him a bottle of water and sat back “I’ll cancel massages and lunch” she said back to her cold demeanor He shook his head, knowing somehow he needed to get to Cece somehow the next day to see what was going on with her and Nate.

[ivaninprint]

Trans and Disabled - Edited by Alex Iantaffi

I read this book for the Trans Rights Readathon and I'm so glad I picked this up.

This collection of essays and stories about trans disabled people was so amazing to read as a fellow trans and disabled person. I've read some stories about trans disabled people before like Care Work from Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, but reading an anthology with so many varied disabled voices was amazing. The topics of the book was also so varied from celebration to poetry and essays and together it made for a very beautiful mix.

One of the stories that stood by me was the one by Finlay Games for multiple reasons. I was actually already familiar with Finlay as I read his phalloplasty memoir before my own bottom surgery. His bottom surgery though happened before he got diagnosed with ME/CFS so that book doesn't touch upon disability at all. At one point in his piece Games talks about the fact that people sometimes ask if his being trans might have contributed to being sick. After my own bottom surgery that I had in December last year I quite significantly worsened from the hit it gave to my already chronically ill body. Sometimes people ask me if it was worth worsening, sometimes I wonder if it was worth worsening for it. However one quote by Games stood by me as the truest answer to this issue.

"Had I not transitioned, I wouldn't have ME/CFS because I would not be alive."

It was a sentence that made me come to the realization that it is quite the same for me. That yes I worsened over it. But had I not gotten my bottom surgery instead, I would not be able to be happily alive in any way.

The first story about being plural and disabled also really able to look into a live of others. I have a few trans plural friends that I love chatting with. But it's not their obligation to teach me about how plurality works, and I feel like by reading this story I got to look into the life of someone similar and maybe get a bit better understanding how such a life may shape.

The piece about covid-19 of Jac of GENDERMEOWSTER was also something that really hit me hard. FInding covid aware places nowadays is a struggle and wearing a mask is something most don't understand around me. But seeing others talk about how covid still impacts them always makes me feel less alone.

Concluding this was an anthology with many different voices on trans disability and I would recommend this for every trans and/or queer person to read more about your community.

I received this eARC through Netgalley and this was my honest review.

[gabrielismss]

who:  @poiscns . ♡ where:  Outside . /  when: Day ???, Hurricane Jac .

        i can phone a friend- when gabriel had told shiv he doesn’t have any friends, he wasn’t lying. he doesn’t have any friends, but he did, once. he’s never had another friend like nico, and he never will. he was also never going to call nico, or talk to him, or even look at whatever notification is being pushed from his contact to a group chat that gabriel doesn’t participate in. avoiding someone for two years means you can’t just text them, or call them, or block their number because what if he needs- 

        now that the cell service is gone, and he’s stopped feeling those rapid, unpredictable vibrations coming from his phone, that’s when the what-if’s increase their volume. a loud, striking panic that becomes like a bell. repeated, panging, anxiety that worms its way out of skin, out of body. the worry turns into motion. it’s not just for nico, but that’s what gabriel finds it most easy to focus on. his whirlwind of chaos, chasing a storm he has no business running head first into. it’s not fair, and gabriel knows better, to leave well enough alone. but this isn’t about it being fair, or about feelings, it’s about safety. it’s about safety, just not gabriel’s. 

        he leaves shiv and the laundromat behind in favor of tracking down the boy made of gunpowder, returning to the wreckage. in a way, gabriel owes it to him. in the hurricane, nico leaves him an easy trail to follow. not because of the water, but because of the noise. gabriel catches a glimpse of dark curls darting from beneath an awning, and he tails him.

        “ nico! nico- “  he just needs him to stop, just needs him to listen to what he’s sure a hundred other brotherhood hunters have already told him. to get inside, somewhere. to stop, for just a moment, to think, god forbid. gabriel moves to seize his hands, first, but leaves them, holding onto his shoulders instead. gabriel’s hands are familiar, but firm, willing him to stop, to slow down.  “ enough, what the hell are you- ? ”  he’s searching through the dark of his eyes, but the rain keeps pouring into them, the hood he’s pulled over his head does little to keep him dry. and now that he’s so close to nico- oh. it’s not gabriel’s raincoat that he’s wearing, at all. he decides very quickly that he doesn’t want to know what he’s doing, not until the both of them are inside. he can’t afford to linger, here, like this, they both can’t. how far away is the house? it’s the last place he wants to be, but at least it’s empty, at least it’s familiar in this storm.  “ come on, we’re going. ”

[ofgarnett]

To: Garnett Coven Group Chat From: Caitlin Siltshore When: Hurricane Jac, Day One

[TEXT]: Hearing it’s a category 3. By whatever meter we use here on the west coast. See attached spells if needed. You should be able to find all the components in the greenhouse. It’s been fortified with wards. You can stay there, or the main house. Catacombs are open and secure too. [TEXT]: (Attachment) waterrepel_v3.5 [TEXT]: (Attachment) windredirect_v2.0 [TEXT]: (Attachment) component_and_reagent_list.pdf [TEXT]: Feels like the storm’s magical. Not meteorological. That means it has intent. Don’t go trying to banter with it. It’s not cute and it doesn’t want to be your friend. [TEXT]: Mara, I know you’ve got a thing for chaotic forces of nature, but maybe skip this one, yeah? [TEXT]: If you’re still near the coast, get inland. If you’ve got spare sigils, bind them to your power banks or candles. Use iron, not salt. [TEXT]: Jaya, I saw your wards last week and they were not anchored. Reinforce. Please. [TEXT]: If anything feels off—worse than usual—text here. [TEXT]: Don’t be brave. Be smart. [TEXT]: Might be unreachable for a few.

[we-are-inevitable]

Hi, Jac!! I am really enjoying reading "and the sun still sets the same" so far, and I would love to hear more about the frack au Jacobs siblings. Do Esther, Meyer, and Les live close to where the twins go to college? If not, what do they do to keep in touch (if they do keep in touch)? Does Les plan to go to college, and if so, what does he want to major in?

YESSSSS i adore them ugh. they are so so perf!!

so first things first, davey and sarah go to school about two and a half hours away from their family- close enough to go home if needed but far enough that they’re a little more independent.

davey has an INCREDIBLE relationship with his parents; he might be jaded and kind of prickly-looking, but he has evening yap sessions with esther nearly every day! he facetimes her while he cooks dinner, which just so happens to be when she’s cooking dinner as well, so he chats with her all the time. their dinner talks are something david tries hard not to miss!

i think sarah would definitely talk to esther a lot, too— maybe not as often as davey, but multiple times a week. i feel like that early morning talks while sarah’s on her morning run or just walking around campus would be their catch up time!

they both love mayer too obviously but he’s not a super big “use the phone” guy, so davey usually sees him in the background of facetimes (and he comes over to yap for about ten minutes or so) and sarah calls him on his lunch breaks at work!

their parents didn’t go to college, so davey and sarah are both first gen students, and esther and mayer can’t really afford to help that much but they do ALL they can. they don’t want their kids to struggle anymore than they have to.

they also both talk to les all the time. the jacobs fam is perfect in general but even MORE perfect in this au

les is around 12-14 in this fic (i havent decided yet) and he doesn’t really show up but i have thoughts. he’s the only straight Jacobs sibling, not that it matters bc he’s a middle schooler but it’s important to Me that you know that

les would be such a like….. sports marketing or business major. everyone thinks hes another frat bro douchebag because hes a straight guy business major but both of his siblings are queer and his parents didn’t raise a bitch

anyway i love them. im imagining esther and mayer being the two people that can make david smile and laugh like jack can and that’s a HUUUUGE thing that sarah notices when she first meets jack

esther thinks all of davey’s tattoos are so so cool and mayer was with him when he bought his first skirt. they completely support sarah’s love of fashion design and will even model for her if she has an idea for something they’d like. they are quite literally the best most supportive family on the planet

i could talk about them allllll day but alas, i will stop

[ohwynne]

TIMING: After Wynne returned from Ireland LOCATION: Wynne's tiny home. PARTIES: @vanoincidence & @ohwynne SUMMARY: Wynne and Van have tea and talk about demons. CONTENT WARNING: N/A

The kettle whistled but it sounded to Wynne like a banshee screaming. Many things did. A creaking door, a howl of the wind, a beep of a phone. Their mind had become a tricky thing once more, memories leaking through as if they were a dripping faucet that never properly closed. Drip, drip, drip. Declan’s body. Elias’ blood. Regan passed out in the car. Drip, drip, drip. Jac dying at the altar. Padrig's guts ripped out. Their skirt getting caught in brambles as they ran.

They turned off the gas. The screaming stopped. They poured the hot water in two cups, moved over to Van and placed one in front of them. On the kitchen table stood a box with various bags of tea. Usually they’d try to make something fresh and herbal, but they didn’t have the energy, so dried tea it was.

Wynne sat with their legs pulled up, knees against the table. “I have … cookies somewhere. If you want.” They glanced at the table, wanted to lay their head on it and stare at the wall. They were so very tired. But Van was here and they had things to talk about. Big things. Rhiannon jumped on the table and they stroked his thick orange fur. “Yeah. You know.” They weren’t sure what they were saying. Nora wasn’t home, still. Everything was bad, still. “Sorry about the cat hairs.”

Van knew that Wynne had come home, but until she saw them, she wouldn’t feel satisfied with the statement. I’m home could mean a lot of things. It could mean what it meant to Nora who said she was coming home, but left soon after. Until Van saw Wynne, she wouldn’t feel settled, and even after she arrived at their front door, she still felt sick to her stomach over what had happened. 

Van had hugged Wynne, something she never did. She didn’t really like physical contact, not in the way most people meant it. But it was purposeful, the way she had wrapped her arms around them, and the way she had let herself be directed inside. 

She sat across from Wynne now, hands in her lap as they brought the water to a boil. It felt like she was being rattled inside, too. The lip of the pot bouncing as the water grew hotter and hotter. She felt like that most days. But the sound stopped, and steam reached just beneath her chin as the mug was pushed forward. She looked at the array of tea bags, opting for mint. 

“I ate like, a ton before coming.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie, but not necessarily the truth. “Maybe we can uh, do cookies later or something.” Van looked up to meet Wynne’s gaze, thoughts whirring in one place, the topic of demons, banshees, Nora, and Declan all creating something vicious out of what wasn’t typically peaceful, but calmer. “No, I like them. I mean, I don’t like, go out of my way to get covered in cat hairs, but…” She cleared her throat. “You can sleep, you know. We can um– I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Okay was such a fucked up word, wasn’t it? “I thought that maybe…” She shrugged, “I was worried.” 

The air was thick. Not with the oncoming summer or the threat of rain or pollen, but with unspoken things. There was a conversation to be had at this table, on this day, over these mugs of tea — there were veils to lift and things to confess. Wynne’s was tight with the anticipation of it, the knowledge that Van and them would grow closer through honesty but that they’d have to bare themself, too.

It might have been easier to do this over text, but it was better not to. They knew that. They were tired, anyway, of conveying ugly truths through messages on a screen. It was just hard to put these things to words. To know when they could stop talking about tea and cat hairs and food. When the conversation shifted. They hoped it’d just happen, that they wouldn’t have to awkwardly maneuvre the chit-chat into a Conversation.

They plucked a bag of tea from the container without looking, dropping it in. Their appetite hadn’t returned yet, even if they had. Besides, they only bought tea they liked anyway. “Oh, yeah, sounds good.” A few weeks ago they would have had freshly baked cookies. It has been hard to cook, though. They didn't like holding the knife. 

“And no, it's okay, I need to try and sleep in the night, you know? Jet lag, or something. I don't get it but it's annoying.” They stared at their mug as Van worried, watching steam rise and curl. They wanted to be like that. “I’m here. That's what I care about most. That that's over. And that I'm also not … in my old home any more. I guess we should talk. Right? How do you… do that?” They pressed a hand against their forehead. “I mean I know how to talk. Obviously. Just… it's hard.”

“I’ve only ever been like, one timezone back, so I don’t think I ever got jet lag from that.” Exhaustion after travel looked different on everyone, and she knew that there were a lot more things than just air time plaguing Wynne. Van looked down at her tea as the color from the sachet bloomed through the water– something not quite true green bled through. It felt like she was looking at her insides. 

She looked up at Wynne as they began to speak, eyebrows furrowing slightly in response to the non-questions that came through to meet in the middle. “Do… what? Talk? I just sorta open my mouth.” A harsh laugh left Van as she tried to push the unease away. She shook her head a moment later, pressing her index finger against the hot mug. It burned, but it was a reminder that she was here across from Wynne and that she couldn’t get lost to the whirring inside of her mind. She retracted her finger after a few seconds, drawing her hands back into her lap. 

“You mean like, the demon thing, right?” She shrugged, “I don’t… actually know. It happens when I think I’m going to die.” She wasn’t sure if that was totally true given she didn’t think the situation with Diana called for a demon, but it was getting harder to parse through exactly what had happened these days. “But the rest of it, um– the melting, the other stuff… I break glass when I get nervous or upset, too. It’s magic.” The word fell off her tongue like it’d always been there. She had finally garnered a taste for it, and it was a strange thing to behold. “Somebody who– they also do magic, I think? Uh, they called me a summoner. I’ve been looking into it, but…” She twiddled her thumbs beneath the table, nails scraping along the edge of the wooden fixture. “It’s still kind of new? Not really new, but the um, acknowledging thing, I mean.” 

They still struggled to even grasp the fact that they had gone and come back from Ireland, that a plane had taken them to a place in a so-called different timezone. Never mind all that had happened in that place. It was strange, to be struck by disbelief while also constantly remembering the things that had happened vividly. Wynne shrugged. “Fair enough. It’s not great. People complain about it like a lot at the airport.”

Van was laughing and they were too, but it wasn’t the way they usually laughed together. There was something morose about it, which was how they felt about things most of the time these days. As if a thick, dark cloak had been laid over everything. “Oh,” they said. “Me too. That’s how I do it too.” It was funny. But it also wasn’t. But it really was. When Wynne laughed again it was a little more sincere. 

Van was magic. They’d suspected something like it, considering what had happened to the vampire. But the fact that it had to do with demons made Wynne feel uneasy — they knew there were nice (or at least … kind of nice) demons out there, but they had a feeling those were in the minority. “I … am … it’s good, that you’re acknowledging it more. I can try to help to look into it. Maybe the library can help.” Maybe it was in the restricted section, though. “So the thing … that claw that took the vampire, was that a demon?” They bit their lip. It would be very ironic if it was a demon who had saved them both from the vampire — but then a demon had helped them before. “Do you think planes are held up with magic like yours?” They frowned at their mug. “Um, not important. I just don’t get how they work without magic, so I think it is magic.” They pulled up one leg, placing their foot on the chair. “Demons … are dangerous.”

“I think that’s like, normal, right?” Van relaxed slightly, no longer feeling as though she might dissolve on the spot. There was a lot to be worried about these days, but she didn’t want to project that onto Wynne. They already had enough to deal with. “To talk with your mouth. I mean, I guess you could talk with other things, but…” She shrugged. Now wasn’t the time to get stuck on the logistics of how to talk in other ways. 

She tried to not let Wynne’s expression deter her from continuing on with her explanation. “I’m a little worried that looking into it will like, make people look into me, you know?” If there were hunters for things like werewolves and undead, then who was to say there wasn’t a hunter for what she was, either? Maybe it was self-involved to think that, but she couldn’t be too sure. This world was still new to her. “But, um…” Did Wynne know that Teddy also possessed magic? She didn’t want to out them, so she didn’t bring them up by name. “I have some other help, and I think… I would like yours, too, if you’re offering it.” It might be nice to have somebody normal on the sidelines. 

At Wynne’s question, Van faltered slightly. “I… didn’t know that’s what it was when it happened– that time or like, the others.” There had been others, and there was no shying away from that fact. “I’m not really sure… I don’t know a lot about this.” She wiggled her fingers above the table, looking down at them. They looked so normal, but each time magic swept over her, she could feel the electricity buzzing in the pads of her fingers, extending all the way down her wrists like some sort of alternate vein. 

Iron pooled at the tip of Van’s tongue as Wynne stated the obvious. “I know– I definitely know that. I’m not– I don’t…” With a sigh, Van pushed some hair out of her eyes. “I’m learning about it. The magic part, not the demon part– I don’t know– I think that I need to learn about that part, too, if I want to be able to control stuff. But I guess– summoners– me, I–” Another deep breath, another finger pressed to the now cooling mug, “it’s not just demons… we can summon other things.” She hadn’t read a ton into it, being too preoccupied with everyone in Ireland and their fates, but now that everyone was back (except for Nora), maybe she could find the time again. 

“I think so, yes. I saw a video of someone who talked without moving their mouth, though? But I assume the noise still came from their mouth.” Wynne frowned. It was really not the most important thing, and yet their mind kept coming back to it. It was baked air, like the things people had said on the stage of the trial. They didn’t mind it this time, though. “Or like, sign language.”

They nodded when Van asked if they understood. They did, in a way. There were always people looking out to hurt others, after all. It made sense maybe people would look into Van with bad intentions, too. “Of course. It’s good to be cautious. I think it always is. But I would be glad to help. And I’m glad you have help.” The world was so vast and to face it alone was impossible, though Wynne had tried in those first months after running from the commune. “I don’t know a lot about magic but I can look for answers.” Maybe that restricted section of the library should be broken into after all.

They felt a pang in their stomach as Van struggled to speak and hoped it wasn’t because of them. Wynne was silent as she tried to find the words, sipping their tea patiently and looking at her carefully. They tried to imagine what it was like, to begin to realize there was something within your power that you didn’t quite understand yet. They already struggled with all their own realizations — like that maybe they had grown up in a cult and that it was okay, really, that they were still alive. “It must be hard. To try and figure all this out. But um, you’re like not alone.”

They put down their mug. “I don’t … I don’t know a lot about magic, but I know some things about demons. Like that there are different types. And some are nice, but most of them are tricksters. And they can look like humans or like something else.” Wynne swallowed. “And some of them want human sacrifices. But there are rituals to get rid of them and other things. I can also learn more about it if you want, I have a source.” They didn’t want to name Teddy, but they were just around the corner. So was Gabagool, who was a bit more obviously a demon expert. “And other things? Like … if you got better, you could summon us freshly baked cookies?”

“Oh, true. Yeah.” Van pushed herself to think outside the box– to not be so embroiled with what she’d always been faced with. It was hard, acknowledging the things outside of her bubble, but it had to happen if she was going to face any growth. Wynne’s ways of looking at things was only further proof of that. It was a simple thing; a discussion about discussion, but it held more worth than just that alone. 

Wynne seemed to understand her in a way that few did. They offered their help, but didn’t demand she take it. That felt… nice. Wynne was just Wynne, and for them to extend their hand, it meant a great deal to her. Van nodded, “I’d… really like that, Wynne. Thank you.” That almost felt too formal for her. “Like, I would really like that. I think it’d help a lot, to know I’m not doing it alone.” She hadn’t been– she had people in her corner, but with Wynne, it felt different. Maybe because they had a lot more to lose, so it made Van feel that much more protective. 

The only demons that Van had been faced with so far were the kinds that saved her life. Were they good? Would they have killed her, too, if given the chance? She thought back to the feathery hand, and how if she plucked each delicate white strand away, what would be left? Somebody like her who had lost something? Or would it be something more sinister? “So it’s like people, like– all different kinds. That makes sense, too.” They wouldn’t all be bad– nothing could be all bad, because if that were true, then what Jade had done would have been right, and Van didn’t think what Jade had done, or did in her past, was right at all. But there were bad things, too, and Wynne affirmed that. It was a difficult thing to swallow– that maybe the portals she created that took down those going against her weren’t the only bad things. That the creatures she unknowingly asked for help were a part of it, too. 

“It’s just… a lot. All of it.” Whether she meant the demons and her magic or the whole Ireland trip, she wasn’t sure. Van took a deep breath and looked down at the tea that was reflecting back at her. “I would like, so much rather summon cookies or something.” Hopefully they’d be regular cookies. “Or like, maybe if Nora runs away again, I can just summon her right back.” It was a joke she had exchanged with Emilio, but the idea of it felt less like a joke and more or less hopeful. 

“But seriously, Wynne. I don’t– I won’t ever hurt you with it. I hope you know that.” Not intentionally, at least. She hoped by the time Wynne came face to face with her magic again, she’d have it under better control. Van offered them a weak smile. “It… this is all like, so messed up.” All of it. They should’ve been able to exist as regular twenty-somethings, not in complete fear that any move they made could end up with them in a casket. “I just wanted you to know that, though. The power stuff. It felt wrong um, not talking about it.” 

Maybe that was the most important thing there was in the world. To not be alone when going through these kind of realizations, to have people to look along with you. Wynne wished they could be more to Van than an extra pair of eyes, that they could offer her a kind of guidance and wisdom that she certainly deserved — but when it came to magic they were wholly ignorant. But they’d try, and at the very least they would be there with tea and other things.

“Of course, Van. You know, you helped me so much. Help me still. With all the things I don’t know, which are a lot of things,” they smiled a little. “And I get that this is different, but it also isn’t. Friends help each other.”  And this was easily accepted by now. Van was their friend and would continue to be their friend, even in the face of demons and former communes (cults?), even in the face of explosive magic.

They nodded. “Just like humans. Or people. All different kinds,” they echoed the sentiment, because it was the sentiment they were trying to build their life on. Wynne wasn’t struggling to develop a philosophy outside of the one they had abandoned, but this was a core part of it. Everyone had the ability to be good, just as everyone had the ability to be bad — and though some people had more powers to do bad with their bad intentions, it was still about intent. If a bad person had Van’s powers, it would be horrible. But Van was good. “But … I think they’re still, when they’re bad … they are very dangerous.”

Van was right. It was a lot, all of it. But it had been a lot since they had ran from home, the entire world an overwhelming cacophony of sound and bright lights. Though there was pain and fear, though, that lotness also came with these things. Van. Jokes. Tea. They clung to their cup. “Maybe you can practice that. And summoning Nora, but maybe you can use me for practice so she doesn’t have to know.”

Wynne frowned at Van before nodding their head again, meaning every bop of their head. “Of course. Of course, I know. I — you saved us, last time. And I am glad we’re talking about it. That we can talk more about my home, too. That it’s all … open and discussable and that it’s okay to discuss it. Because I trust you, okay? To hear my things, but also to not hurt me.”

“Yeah! Like, one day you’re going to totally wreck me at Mario Kart. Maybe not right now, but one day.” It felt nice to joke, to laugh with Wynne across from her. The days of staring down at her phone screen, of waiting for response after response; of finding out whether or not the people she cared about were okay weren’t necessarily behind her, but for the time being it was. At least, in Wynne and Regan’s case. Van so desperately wanted to find Nora, to show her the love that those in Wicked’s Rest had for her, to show her that even if home didn’t feel like home, it could mimic the feeling until it felt real. That was what it always felt like; Van never felt at home, but with Wynne across from her, she felt like she was getting closer. Van wanted both Nora and Wynne to feel that way, and she hoped that one day they would. “Friends definitely help each other, yeah.” Always, no matter what. 

Wynne held warnings in the palm of their hand, spilling them onto the table. They traced them out– a warning, a promise, the acknowledgment that while other things might be dangerous, Wynne didn’t think she was dangerous. Van wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Most of her life, she’d been treated as a fragile thing, and so she learned how to crack at will, to fall apart as that was what most expected from her. Wynne treated her with the respect she’d been looking for, much like Erin and Nora. “I understand, and I trust you.” Because Van had no reason not to. Because Wynne spoke of these things with an understanding that rivaled the ability to actually dredge up shadows and souls alike. 

Van snorted at the thought of practicing with Wynne. “Maybe when Teddy gets back we can try.” She didn’t think she’d actually use Wynne for any kind of summoning practice, but the offer sat heavy on her shoulders, or rather, the trust did. 

As Wynne went on to speak, Van sat in a silence that enveloped her, not in fear or turmoil, but in hope and understanding. “What happened? Was it the– your home, right? Something happened… before you got here.” Van bit the inside of her cheek as she watched her friend, searching for something– for the moment she should reach across the table, even if she wasn’t very good at physical affection. She wanted to learn more about her friend, not just because Wynne had insisted, but because this level of trust meant something, and Van wanted to show that she was reliable. 

They chuckled. “I totally will. The power of the toadstool will help me and I will finally get first place,” said Wynne, knowing that this was a very distant reality. They didn’t mind losing against Van so much, though, so it didn’t matter. They had skills that she didn’t have and through that they could help one another. It was very nice, actually. “Maybe we can play some games in a bit, if you want. Teddy got me a console –” They said the word with a bit of uncertainty, not sure if it was the right term. “– but I don’t really get it yet. It’s nice to watch Netflix with though.”

They gave their trust too easily, they knew that now, but the thing that existed between Van and them was different than that kind of trust. This was something that went deeper than believing things at face-value and expecting the best from people — this was the kind of trust that came with friendship, with knowing they could rely on Van. For fun, but for support and safety too. A kind of trust that Van wouldn’t exploit them or hurt them. “And I trust you.” 

A large sip was taken from their cup, the tea not as hot as it had once been but still warming up their insides as it traveled down. They wanted to fill their mouth and throat and stomach with tea so they wouldn’t have to repeat what had happened — but they owed Van the truth. And it wasn’t like they hesitated because they thought she’d look at them different, after all. That fear of condemnation seemed to have left them, at the very least.

“My commune — well, maybe … maybe it was a cult, actually. But we revered a demon. It gave us boons and stuff. And we … well, had to sacrifice one person every so often, and it was supposed to be me, but I didn’t want to die, so —” They swallowed, even if their mouth was dry. “I ran away. And then they —” Again, their mouth was dry. Wynne looked at their hands around their mug. “Had to find a replacement, so it was my brother. And then … Emilio, he found out for me, and then … we went there. To get rid of the demon. And Dr Kavanagh helped, too. And –” They shrugged. “I guess it’s over now. But it doesn’t feel like it. I am still there sometimes. And I still — you know, think about what ifs. And being in Ireland was so … they were so weird there, but also similar to home. It’s … yeah. But I know about demons because of it. That’s what happened.”

Van’s eyes lit up at the promise of video games after the discussions of how deeply traumatized they both were had ended. Van liked having these kinds of conversations because it meant she was growing, but she was a girl who liked to game at heart, and at Wynne’s suggestion, she nodded. “No, for sure, we can definitely play! I can show you how to like, actually use it and stuff. For things other than Netflix.” She smiled at Wynne, wondering if she could get their phone later to install a few different games on. It was easy to get lost in the ways that their communion could revel in comfort, but she knew it was important to understand the ways in which they needed to be there for one another through the dark stuff, too. It was, at the very least, easier to acknowledge than before. 

There was the temptation, after seeing the look in Wynne’s eyes, to tell them that they could discuss it later. But wouldn’t it hurt later, too? Wouldn’t there be that same look in their eye, the subtle shake of their fingers as they clasped it around their mug? Van knew that now was the time to listen, not to insist that they could revisit it another time. This was important, and Van had shared her truth no matter the fear that came with it, and Wynne wanted to do the same. Van owed it to them to listen instead of make excuses. 

As Wynne went on to tell their story, Van could feel their mouth widening, forming a perfect and round ‘o’. That wasn’t something she had expected, but it made sense, with Wynne knowing a lot about demons. Or, at least, way more than she did. Van reached across the table finally, closing a hand over one of Wynne’s that was still wrapped around their mug. It felt like the right thing to do, and she wanted to do the right thing by them. “You feel guilty, right? About surviving? Both times?” Van could understand that, too. She felt guilty about Diana, about Debbie– hell, even about the banshees that had taken her home from her. How she had gotten to live in the bubble of safety, of what Jade didn’t categorize as dangerous– how others simply existing with what they were had been condemned. Wynne had been condemned, but they had crawled out of it– had escaped the fact of death, despite the odds. “I’m like, really glad you didn’t die.” She thought that much was obvious. “Before, and in Ireland. Both times. You deserve to live, you know.” This wasn’t about her, but she felt like she was talking to herself, too. 

Van squeezed Wynne’s hand, running through the number of things people much wiser than her had said to her in the hopes of bringing her back from the brink. But it didn’t seem like Wynne was on any ledge. This was a conversation filled with hope and trust, and Van needed to treat it as such, instead of imposing her own versions of grief and understanding onto them. “I’m sorry about your brother.” Van’s lower lip trembled slightly as she spoke, “and I’m sorry that it feels like you’re still there.” Van knew how that felt. She was still in that parking lot, standing across from Diana. She was still in the grocery store with Debbie. She was standing across from the banshee that had taken the last thing of her family from her. But she was in front of Wynne, and Wynne was in front of her. They were here, together. “But you’re here. We both um… we both are. We’re both here, and like, it’s super– this is so dumb, but we’re stronger than our demons. Literally.” A hiccup left Van and she reached up to touch her face with her free hand, realizing that tears had begun streaming down her cheeks. 

Wynne’s story made Van want to learn how to control her magic instead of run away from it. It shouldn’t have been the defining factor for her, considering the tragedies that had already occurred, but she wanted to make sure that Wynne would never have to face something like that again, not if she could help it. “Thank you. Um…” She blinked away the tears, “for telling me.” 

“I’d really love that,” they said, smiling brightly. Van was so clever when it came to technology, but also someone that Wynne liked to learn from. And playing games they did like — even if the ones they were used to were more card or board based. Video games were fun to play by yourself, though, which was nice. They liked the idea of drowning out their thoughts by pushing buttons.

As the truth spilled from them, Van reacted with a kindness they might not have allowed a few months back. They no longer expected people to respond with anger, to condemn them for their betrayal and so they let their friend touch their hand. And even if Van were to tell them that they should have died, that they had been selfish and a traitor — they’d have the knowledge that plenty of others thought differently, themself included. But Van just took their hand and offered words of understanding.

They nodded tentatively, “Yes.” It was a heavy way to live, to feel like there should be something shameful about every breath and step taken. And yet that was the truth of it — they felt guilty for sitting here. “I’m trying … I’m trying not to. I am also glad I lived. Even if I feel guilty, too.” There would never be any undoing of it — no possible way to bring back Iwan or to turn the clock on what had happened in Ireland. Their past was a trail littered with mistake but it was a trail that kept going, winding through forest and field and past beaches. It kept going. 

There was another dip of their head, their eyes glued to the squeeze of Van’s hand around theirs. Wynne took the sympathy in stride, not feeling discomforted as it came from the other. “Me too.” They looked at Van and at the tears on her face and felt something loosen in their throat, a tightness they hadn’t realized was there until now. They, too, cried. “It’s … no, it’s true. It’s not dumb at all. We are stronger than them.” The demon had died. Wynne still lived. That trail kept going. 

“Of course. And – thank you for listening.” They turned their hand around so palm met palm and held onto Van’s, not wanting to let go just yet even if they didn’t know what to say any more.

Van had felt alone for so much of her life, that the feeling of having Wynne across from her still felt slightly foreign. It felt like that time by the mines with Nora, signs melting down to nothing as Nora exposed herself as an entirely different being altogether. She was learning things about those she called friends, and in turn it made her feel less alone, less… desperate for understanding. 

They could take their time together, she thought. Her hand remained overtop of Wynne’s as she looked at them, vision only slightly blurred from the tears that ran down. It was a special thing, being able to fall into step with somebody else’s trauma, even if the ones that she’d experienced had been so far removed from anything that Wynne had. She bit the inside of her cheek as she watched them, “I’m glad you told me. Really, really glad, Wynne.” There was nothing but sincerity in her voice as she squeezed their hand. 

With her other hand, she grabbed her mug which had cooled off considerably. The tea was lukewarm, but Van didn’t care. “I feel like, so adult right now.” Drinking tea and crying– she’d seen her mom do it a thousand times over. Only, her woes weren’t about a fragile daughter or money, but something entirely different. Things would be okay. Maybe not right now, when everything was so fresh, but eventually– Van had to believe that. Not only for her sake, but for Wynne’s, Nora’s, and Regan’s, too. 

[tdadtwch]

IRON GIANT WEREWOLF AU: Chapter 3 Preview

Heath inhaled another puff of smoke, smirking as he made his way across the blacktop. Benny was waiting for him in a shady spot on the other side of the court. He popped open a can of beer before looking up at the other teen.

“Who was that?”

“Nobody, just a cuck who thinks he’s more important than he actually is.”

Shrugging, Benny took a swig of his beer as Heath sat on the ground next to him. They spent the next few minutes in comfortable silence, watching as Adam and a few other guys chatted amongst themselves. Heath took another drag of the cigarette and looked over at Benny.

“Hey, let me hit that,” he said, gesturing to the drink. He took the can from the other boy and gulped down some of the lukewarm beverage. He usually preferred vodka over beer but the taste was fine regardless. Heath exhaled deeply, closing his eyes and soaking in the cool air. 

He tried thinking of another time in his life where he felt this same amount of calm. What came to mind was a moment from his childhood, back when his father was alive and well. He and Hogarth were sitting on a bench and eating ice cream in the park. Jonathan Hughes was sitting behind them on the edge of the town’s fountain, quietly taking in the scenery. At some point Hogarth’s ice cream scoop fell onto the ground with a splat. Heath laughed and his own frozen treat was shoved into his face seconds later.

Now with a glob of Butter Pecan on his nose, both brothers glared at each other before turning to the sound of their dad’s laughter. Jonathan had laughed so hard that he slipped and fell backward into the fountain with a yelp. Hogarth and Heath immediately burst into a fit of hysterics, their previous feud disappearing from their minds.

Heath smiled as he opened his eyes, reminiscing on simpler times. Just two siblings and their dad having the time of their lives; the three of them against the world. He was pulled from his reverie when he noticed Benny watching him.

“...Do I have something on my face?”

Benny shook his head. “I just can’t believe you’re sitting here.”

“What, am I too close to His Majesty?” Heath quipped, passing the can back to him.

“Haha, smartass. But seriously, I never thought in a million years that you would be sitting here and hanging out with me. I mean this past week was the most fun I had in awhile.” Benny furrowed his brow. “Did somebody spike the water supply or something? Because it’s like you’re this whole new person.”

“Dude, I feel like a new person!” Technically, this statement was true.

Ever since his argument with Hogarth, Heath felt more and more different as the days went by. He was better, faster, stronger. Like an old machine taken apart and made anew. Colors were brighter, sounds were clearer and scents were fresher. He never felt more alive!

Sure, there were a few drawbacks—like the fur growing out of his scars and the white streaks appearing in his hair. But it’s nothing that a pair of scissors and some hair dye can’t fix.

Heath’s gaze drifted to the tattoo on Benny’s right upper arm. It was a black and white basketball with the number fourteen written over it. Pointing to it, he asked, “What’s the story behind that?”

Benny lifted his arm. “Oh, this? Just something I got before I left my hometown. It symbolizes all the baskets I scored during my first ever game. One of the best moments of my life.”

“Where’s home?”

“Dukesberry, New Hampshire.” Benny took another sip of beer, smiling wistfully. “It’s like Rockwell but with a large Jewish community.”

“Hey, fellas!” They looked up to see Adam waving his arms at them. “You guys up for another game? We want a rematch.”

Heath and Benny nodded eagerly as they both got up from the ground. Heath took back the can and stuffed his cigarette butt inside it before crushing the aluminum in his fist. He tossed it into a nearby garbage bin when Benny spoke up again.

“Hey, you doing anything Friday night?”

“Not really, why?”

“We’re going to a party at the old Jackson residence. I mentioned it to you before. The deserted farm outside of town?”

“I remember…” Heath arched an eyebrow. “So you seriously want me to come to this thing?”

“Yeah, dude. I think you’d have a good time.”

“What about everyone else? Wouldn’t it kill the mood if The Heathen turned up and crashed the party?”

“It’s not crashing if you’re invited,” Benny pointed out. When he noticed the slight hesitation in the teen’s gaze, he quickly added, “But if you don’t wanna go, then that’s fine too! I just thought I’d ask. Most of the school is gonna be there as well as some other people. It’s probably gonna be a bit overwhelming so if you say no, that’s totally—”

“Okay.”

Benny blinked. “Wait, what?”

“I said okay. We’ve been hanging out a lot anyway so I might as well tag along.” Heath threw an arm around the other’s shoulders. “Y’know, you’re not as annoying as I thought you’d be.”

Benny rolled his eyes as he blushed. “And you’re not as horrible at basketball as I thought you’d be so I guess we’re even.”

“I’ll show you horrible, you little bastard!” Heath laughed, putting the other teen into a headlock and ruffling his hair. Once they separated, he grinned roguishly.  “Now let’s go fucking decimate these assholes.”