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Kingdom of Ash

Chapter 25-31

Annotations/Quotes/Reactions/ w SPOILERS (up to KoA 31)

Chapter 25

“She drifted down again, into a pocket of the dark, where she told herself that story-the story-over and over.”

—There is power in stories

“Once upon a time, in a land long since burned to ash, there lived a young princess who loved her kingdom.”

“Who she was, what she was, what she stood to destroy should she yield to the near- airlessness of the box, to the rising strain.”

“My name is Celaena Sardothien and I will not be afraid.”

“You do not yield.”

“His Fireheart, shut in the dark.”

“And then the healers would return with their sweet-smelling smoke, as they had come these months, these years, however long it had been.”

—Then the sweet smelling smoke choking her in TAB — The gloriella reference in CoM — And then Kaltain who she might’ve been like same story same aches different endings — Then in ToD when everything’s way happier (never over the that’s my wife differences for Chaorene & Rowaelin😭)

And then the big thing that kills me the fact she doesn’t know how long it’s been anymore

And wtf do the “healers” make of this? (Later addressed lol book aging edits)

“But she'd seen beyond them, for an instant.”

Aelin, babe, get the fuck out & RUN!

ROWAN IS RIGHT THERE — THIS IS KILLING ME — AGH!

How dare they disgrace the “Old Language” with Cairn instead of Rowan’s accented pretty words

“His canvas had been wiped bare, ready for him to paint red.”

I wish the dresser was the ACOTAR one with Feyre’s paintings not Cairns evil dungeon of nauseating misery

“Aelin was ready, too.”

—Babe, please tell me you have a plan or are about to do an Endovier rampage or anything that doesn’t give me a heart attack

“For once, sleeping. Grief laid heavy on him, dulling his coat, dimming his bright eyes.”

—He was so tired too… his bright eyes… oh gosh Maas why do you do this to me😭 he just stayed with her all the time watching so she wasn’t alone in the worst punishment possible

“The way merchant might display his finest jewels.”

“The girl wore her scars the way some women wore their finest jewelry.”

—The times that quote comes up and full circle between Yrene, TAB, & KoA

“Aelin couldn't fight the trembling in her mouth at the night sky, at the pinpricks of light shining in it. Stars. Just two, but there were stars overhead. The sky itself ... it was not the heaviness of full night, but rather a murky, graying black. Dawn. Likely an hour or so away, if the stars remained out. Perhaps she would last long enough to see sunlight.”

Sobbing… her and Rowan are looking at the same stars & sky… there’s 2 stars just 2… ITS THEM — babe hang on he’s right there — HOW DID WE GO FROM A GIRL LOOKING AT THE STARS & at worst haunting dreams & finally escaping Endovier in ToG TO THIS😭🖤

Always dawn… or at least it gets me ever since ToD

“Offering a glimpse of fires and lightening darkness beyond. Nothing else.”

Wasn’t Fenrys forbidden to speak? Is he fighting the oath just to warn her with a single growl?😭

“Perhaps you'll burn like the rest of us.”

—Witch trials much Sarah? You’re triggering me for Yrene now.

Also stupid question: Aelin never gets burned externally from her magic but frequently burns off all her clothes yet her hair minus getting singed once stays fine even then… I guess that’s not a question I’m just separately hypothetically confused.

“No.”

Same as TAB a single word that echoed on. The trigger in it for her.

“This wasn't just a breaking of her body. But a breaking of her—of the fire she'd come to love. To destroy the part of her that sang. — Until she feared the flame, until she hated it, as she hated those healers who had come again and again to repair her body, to hide what was real from what had been a dream.”

—That’s the cruelty they keep using. And to take the thing she fought to get back, to no longer be afraid. The music, she loved the song, the thing Rowan heard all those years. To hate anyone who might help her. To break everything. —Including me while reading this… legit the most fucked up thing I’ve ever read… her fire😭😭😭

“Fenrys's snarl rolled on, endless.”

—Nothing.

It keeps coming down to that word.

I’m afraid of which one of them is Cairn talking to…

“She began fraying then, who she was and had been melting away.”

Why is this happening right now when Rowan is so close?!

“Please.”

The thing she never said😭

“And she wouldn't be able to stop it, stop him.”

“The hand she'd been dealt. It was the hand she had been dealt, and she would endure it.”

“You do not yield.”

“"Wait." The word was a rasp.”

—no. It all broke😭🖤 MAAS UR KILLING ME HERE

What is it with Terrasen and endure that’s always the words for the children of it they endure

“One last chance. She'd seen the stars overhead. It was as great a gift as any she'd received, greater than the jewels and gowns and art she'd once coveted and amassed in Rifthold. The last gift she would receive, if she played the hand she'd been dealt. If she played him right.”

—I miss the Throne of Glass days.—I have no annotations for like pages cause legit just cried & read

“Dawn neared, the stars dimming one by one.”

—ROWAN MY FUCKING GODS ITS NOT THE STARS DIMMING ITS YOUR WIFE — GO NOW

Half a camp between him & her … so close … so far

“How many would he know? How many had he trained?”

—these moments with the cadre hurt cause it reminds how many lives they've had before this

“That if they knew him, they'd be wise and stand down.”

—That if they knew him or what's good for them😅😂

“A killing calm had settled over him hours ago. Days ago. Months ago.”

—the moment she was gone. They both have that tendency. It’s giving tAB Celaena — very interesting the parallels she writes in for soulmates and oath bindings.

“Go, a quiet voice urged. Go now. — Essar's sister had advised to wait until dawn. — Go now. That voice, warm and yet insistent, tugged.”

—whatever annoying god is talking here is being helpful for once (& it better not be to kill Aelin later) but YEAH GO NOW

okay she’ll get to him save him from the battle ensuring & or vice-versa just MOVE PEOPLE/FAE

Is this the first time Rowan describes anything as warm without Aelin?

“Now, Prince.”

— not important side note I get so confused by the times he's called Prince and her Princess but I guess technically there's no coronation so she's not Queen & him King?

“He knew that voice, had felt its warmth. And if the Lady of Light herself whispered at his ear…”

— MALA … boom boom Fire-Bringer (Aelin at her most powerful ;-) cause it’s ✨Dawn✨

“…Rowan didn't give himself time to consider, to rage at the goddess who urged him to act but would gladly sacrifice his mate to the Lock.”

THATS WHAT I SAID I WAS ANNOYED ABOUT

“So Rowan steeled himself, willing ice into his veins. Calm. Precise. Deadly. Every swing of his blades, every blast of his power, had to count. Rowan speared his magic toward the camp entrance. The guards grabbed for their throats, feeble shields wobbling around them. Rowan shattered them with half a thought, his magic tearing the air from their lungs, their blood They went down a heartbeat later. Sentries shouted from the trees, orders of "Sound the alarm!" ringing out. But Rowan was already running. And the sentries in the trees, their shouts lingering on the wind as they gasped for breath, were already dead.”

Also he and Zoya Nazyalensky would get along especially with their magic and trauma😅

“The sky slowly bled toward dawn.”

—This better not be forshadowing symbolism

“It was an effort not to peer behind him, though Lorcan could not see her. They'd left Elide a few miles into the forest, hidden in a copse of trees bordering a glen. Should all go poorly, she'd flee deeper into the hilly woods, up into the ancient mountains. Where far more deadly and cunning predators than Fae still prowled.”

—YEAH WE KNOW WE READ HOF😅I DONT NEED SKINWALKERS COMING OUT RIGHT NOW OKAY?!

“She hadn't offered him a parting word, though she'd wished them all luck. Lorcan hadn't been able to find the right words anyway, so he'd left without so much as a look back. But he glanced back now.”

—NOT A GLANCE BACK — UGH MY SHIPPER SOUL😭

“Prayed that if they didn't return, she wouldn't come hunting for them.”

—“Good hunting, Lady.”

—NOT THE TIME ELIDE — we can't have a never ending circle of everyone trying to catch each other

“Death beckoned nearby.”

—that better be Cairns impending doom or… Rowaelin rampages… because if its Aelin or Fenrys I’m going to lose it — I can't handle more chapters like this, so, help me out Emo Lorcan

Chapter 26

“The portrait of uncertain fear”

—what does that mean? Is it false then? I feel like Maas uses that word portrait with Elide when she's lying…

"When you finish breaking me apart for the day, how does it feel to know that you are still nothing?"

—her voice cracking cause its the first time she's spoken😭 —that's a lil piece of my Aelin Fire-hearted girl. — OH COME ON

“She smiled back through the mask. "You were only given the oath for this. For me. Without me, you're nothing. You'll go back to being nothing. Less than nothing, from what I've heard."”

No, she’s a fire breathing bitch queen — how dare you say that derogatorily *later edit wait if Remelle said that and it got around is it like Aelin & the Rowan rumors that nickname caught on? Or did Aelin start it herself… agh I can’t remember… I need to re-read QoS*

“They forget I’m Fae too.”

—yes you are babe😭 claim it! … but also what’s the plan cause Fenrys & I are nervous … cause if she can’t stop it what’s the plan👀😅😭😬🖤🫥

“At least they agree with me on one front. You're spineless. Have to tie up people to hurt them because it makes you feel like a male.”

—“Inadequate.” — *Alexa play dumb & poetic* cause “just cause you act like one doesn’t make you a man”

“Aelin huffed another laugh, haughty and cool, and gazed toward the ceiling, toward the lightening sky. The last she'd see, if she played this right.”

—NO NO NO LIGHTENING THATS ROWAN BABE HES RIGHT THERE NO NO NO!!!! NO LAST SKIES!! NOPE! NONONONONO — also note: the more swagger she has the worse things really are; so re-read TOG with that (anyone who calls her selfish or immature or not caring. No.) No, the more she does that the more it means she’s covering up. It’s her tell a lot of times (I think).

“There had always been another, a spare, to take her place should she fail. That her death would mean Dorian's, would send those hateful gods to demand his life to forge the Lock...”

—I hate everyone that ever made her think her & Dorian are spares & feel like pons

“It was no strange thing, to hate herself for it.”

—THAT LINE IS GOING TO THERAPY

FRANTIC AND RAGING yeah me too

“Despite herself, her plans, she shoved back”

She still fought… she doesn’t want to die. She just doesn’t want this.

“RUN—”

—UH YEAH

“Something in her side snapped and she cried out, the sound small and broken, as she collided with the floor.”

Something forever snapped — not again — as she felt

“Fenrys had seen his twin drive a knife through his heart. Had watched Connall bleed out onto the tiles and die. — He'd sat in a stone room for two months, witness to what they'd done to a young queen's body, her spirit. Had been unable to help her as she'd screamed and screamed. He'd never stop hearing those screams. — But it was the sound that came out of her as Cairn hurled her into the chest of drawers where Fenrys had watched him arranging his tools, the sound she made as she hit the floor, that shattered him entirely.”

—NOW IM SHATTERED TOO—REALLY THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE GET FENRYS PERPSECTIVE—OH GODS—NO—OW—I MEAN I DIDNT WANT IT EARLIER BUT DONT YOU DARE DIE ON ME LIKE THIS NOT NOW—2 months THATS HOW LONG — he called her the young queen

“A small sound. Quiet. Hopeless. He'd never heard it from her, not once.”

—As if a scream would bring no reprieve

a soul cracking in seconds

Cairn you are not worthy of a broken nose like Asterin the Queen no you deserve worse and less

“Aelin Galathynius stirred, trying to rise”

— “GET UP” — *later* fuck I didn’t mean it like that DAMN YOU CAIRN

“He pointed it at her like a sword. Fenrys strained against his invisible bindings.”

—he’s trying for her😭

I miss the TOG days😭 when stupid Cain was as bad as it got AND HE WAS HORRID

“Aelin glanced at him, toward where he'd sat for the past two days, in that same damned spot by the tent wall.”

—TWO DAYS

“Despair shone in her eyes. True despair, without light or hope. The sort of despair that wished for death. The sort of despair that began to erode strength, to eat away at any resolve to endure.”

—BUT SHES THE QUEEN OF THE ENDURING PEOPLE

“She blinked at him. Four times. I am here, I am with you.”

—those words and now I’m crying again

She doesn’t want him to feel alone without her because they’ve done this together

The language SHE created so he wouldn’t feel alone either the one she made to check on HIM not her and the one he made for her the six blink but the rest those were hers for them but for him too — THEIR FRIENDSHIP MEANS A LOT TO ME OKAY

“Fenrys knew it for what it was. The final message. Not before death, but before the sort of breaking that no one would walk away from.”

After before… before Maeve… Dorian did he’d survived the collar… but not this

“And Fenrys couldn't allow it.”

—Neither can I😭

BREAK THE OATH COME ON

“In his shredded soul, in what was left of him after all he'd been forced to see and do, he couldn't allow it.”

… and their about to be fucking wrong

The fact he says shredded soul because it already was that; while Gavriel and Lorcan describe the path breaking as that; Fenrys already felt it.

“The blood oath kept his limbs planted. A dark chain that ran into his soul.”

—that was the damned order… the cruelest thing… I hate Maeve so fucking much

“He would not allow it. That final breaking. He pushed upward against the bond's dark chain, screaming, though no sound came from his open maw. He pushed and pushed and pushed against those invisible chains, against that blood-sworn order to obey, to stay down, to watch.”

—That damned line was for him they had let him scream for her so he knew he could do nothing…

“He defied it. All that the blood oath was. Pain lanced through him, into his very core.”

Lorcan couldn't imagine doing it how it would happen

“He blocked it out as Cairn pointed the smoldering poker at the young queen with a heart of wildfire. He would not allow it. Snarling, the male inside him thrashing, Fenrys bellowed at the dark chain binding him. He shredded into it, biting and tearing with every scrap of defiance he possessed. Let it kill him, wreck him. He would not serve. Not another heartbeat. He would not obey. He would not obey. And slowly, Fenrys got to his feet.”

—more sobbing

“Stand down.”Fenrys snarled, deep and vicious. And still he struggled to his feet.

— get up

“Cairn pointed the poker at the rug. "Lie down. That is an order from your queen."”

—that’s not his queen anymore (never was)

“Fenrys spasmed, his hackles lifting. But he was standing. Standing. Despite the order, despite the blood oath's commands. Get up. From far away, the words sounded.

— who’s voice? Is that Aelin… Sam… Elena? Connall? Fenrys?

Cairn roared, "Lie down!" Fenrys's head thrashed from side to side, his body bucking against invisible chains. Against an invisible oath. His dark eyes met Cairn's. Blood began running from the wolf's nostril. It'd kill him—to sever the oath. It would break his soul. His body would go soon after that. But Fenrys put one paw forward. His claws dug into the ground. Cairn's face paled at that step. That impossible step. Fenrys's eyes slid toward hers. Neither needed the silent code between them for the word she beheld in his gaze. The order and plea. Run. Cairn read the word, too. And he hissed, "Not with a shattered spine, she can't," —

—NOOOOOOOOOOOOO—

— before he brought the poker slamming down for Aelin's back. With a roar, Fenrys leaped.”

THE WHITE WOLF LADIES AND GENTLEMAN👏👏👏

“And with it, he snapped the blood oath completely.”

—NEW OATH MAKE A NEW OATH AELIN — there has to be a way out of this😭

“Run.” Those words? Whose words? HoF ToG full circle

Chapter 27

“These were his last breaths, his last heartbeats.”

—HOW DARE YOU WITH THAT LINE—there has to be a way to save him — but she needs to run now

Fenrys don't die like this please

Fenrys commanded the queen to run so she did

The final code RUN

The sky again 🥹😭

COME ON RO—FIND HER NOW

“Turning them all to bloodied splinters.”

—Well that’s one way to do it

Chapter 28

“Aelin ran”

—Good listening

“Picked a direction, any direction but the river mists to her left, and ran. The sun was rising, and the army camp .. There was motion behind her. Shouting. She blocked it out and aimed right. Toward the rising sun, as if it were Mala's own welcoming embrace.

— Dear Reader; Pick somewhere and just run,

So many broken things and so much gone but here we are

It’s giving there were still flowers vibes

She is the rising sun

And that embrace is what Rowan had felt too

*hey siri play fresh out the slammer* now pretty baby I’m running back home to you… I’m running

“Still Aelin aimed for the eastern horizon. Toward the trees and mountains, toward the sun cresting over them.”

Mountains and oceans

Okay I hope that noise isn’t Rowan trying to get her attention but also bro best see SHES ALIVE

“And did not falter”

—there’s our queen

“Death sang to Lorcan.”

—Interesting how they always describe the magic as singing

"Someone's making a move this way," Lorcan murmured to Gavriel. "But Whitethorn's still over there.

—It’s HER

“Fenrys. Or Connall, perhaps. Maybe Essar's sister, who he'd never liked. But he wouldn't give a shit about that if she hadn't betrayed them.”

— You don’t know😭

“He pointed north.”

—She goes North (to the stag & home) it’s her TRUE NORTH

“Death glimmered. Whitethorn was nearly at the camp's center. And that force approaching their eastern entrance ...”

—glimmered or glamored?

—it’s just deaths bestie😅😬✌️ ya might call her Lady Death? lol crossover… plus idk I think Cassian & Lorcan would vibe + Elide / Nesryn & honestly all our favs would be besties

“To hell with waiting.”

—AGREED

Wild as fire and Endovier; if I had a nickel for everytime she went on a murder rampage escape

“Death flickered as the rising sun gilded the rolling grasses and set the dew steaming. Nothing. No indication of what, of who. He'd reached the first of the hollows that flowed to the camp edge, the dips narrow and steep, when Aelin Galathynius appeared.”

—flickered… to life? — WHO — Mala time

“Lorcan didn't expect the sob in his throat.”

—me too buddy me to, I forgive you, cause come on he just wants his besties happy & he’s thankful and aw buddy

“As he beheld the blood soaking her skin, the short white shift, her hair, longer than he'd last seen and plastered to her head with gore. His knees stopped working, and even his magic faltered at the sight of her wild, desperate race for the camp's edge.”

—babes rough; the hair note… why longer? how long has it been???

“Lorcan surged into motion, flaring his magic up and wide. Not to her, but to Whitethorn, still charging for the center of the camp.”

—lol he knows she got this Whitethorn needs a hand though

“She's here, she's here, she's here, he signaled.”

—another cadre code … plus more magic senses signaled.

“But Lorcan was too far, the grassy bumps and hollows between them now endless, as ten soldiers converged on Aelin, blocking her path toward the open field.”

Also like guys run she’s running for a reason go run for Fenrys and then from Caryn or kill Karen/Caryn and run from the soldiers FAST before Maeve or soemthing else comes back and

*Also yes I called him Karen cause Cairn is my least favorite Caryn*

“One swung his sword, a strike that would cleave her skull in two.”

—she’s got this COME ON GIRL

“The fool didn't realize who he faced. What he faced. That it wasn't a fire-breathing queen bound in iron who charged at him, but an assassin. Even as he ran for her, Lorcan could only gape at what unfolded.”

—holy fucking shit queen of the assassins & even Lorcan knows it: FIRE BREATHING QUEEN (he skips the derogatory🥹)

Foolish mortal

“She struck before they knew where to turn. Slash, duck, lunge. She got her other hand on one of their daggers. Then it was over.”

Certainly something to see

Very Whitethorn of her… the Whitethorn Galathynius’s have a way with swords

HE ran for HER😭 ok Lorcan u get a ton of points

—THE FACT LORCAN FINDS HER FIRST … *later edit* maybe it helps because she believes it’s real cause that’s too out there to believe & Maeve wouldn’t have known (side side note: how does that power work? cause she can’t read minds & the visions get messed up (hence why the Fenrys trick works) to know it’s real cause she doesn’t know the blinking code & Aelin can hear him whining in distance)

“Aelin didn't falter as they wilted to the ground. She charged past, aiming straight for the field and hills. To where Lorcan ran for her. He signaled again. To me, to me. Whether Aelin recognized it, or him, she still raced his way.”

she didn’t falter or wilt🥹 … did she know they would be here or just run and realize?

“She wouldn't make it, not over that terrain, not drained like that But she did.”

—HELL YEAH SHE FUCKING DID

“To her, to Whitethorn.”

—one in the same … could she hear the power flare? Is it another code or just HI

“Still more fired. Single shots this time, from so many directions he couldn't trace their sources. Trained archers, some of Maeve's best. Aelin had to- She already was. Aelin began zagging, depriving them of an easy target. Left to right, she darted over the hills, slower with each bump she cleared, each step toward Lorcan as he raced to her, a hundred yards remaining between them.”

—she knew, she made it easier with them too; she assisted in her rescue💅

“A wall of glittering gold got there first. From the north, leaping over the hollows, charged Gavriel. Aelin disappeared into a dip in the earth, and when she emerged, the Lion ran at her side, a golden shield around her. Not close to her—but in the air around them.”

—Aedion would be proud & Good cause she needs a little space — Ashryver gold?

—the lion

“Where it touched them, they died.”

“Blood oath or no, they were still his people. His soldiers. He'd prevent their deaths, if he could. Save them from themselves.

— oh Lorcy🥹🥺😭

“Aelin was stumbling now, and Lorcan cleared the last of the hills between them. He opened his mouth, to shout what, he didn't know, but a cry pierced the blue sky. The sob that came out of Aelin at the hawk's bellow of fury cracked Lorcan's chest.”

—mine too😭

“But she kept running for the trees, for their cover. Lorcan and Gavriel fell into step beside her, and when she again stumbled, those too-thin legs giving out, Lorcan gripped her under the arm and hauled her along.”

—a team… seems like HER cadre of you ask me😂😉🤷‍♀️

“Fast as a shooting star, Rowan dove for them. He reached them as they passed the first of the trees, shifting as he landed.”

—A star for his fireheart

Aelin sprawling onto the pine-covered ground.”

—Pine

“Rowan was instantly before her, hands going to the mask on her face, the chains, the blood coating her arms, her torn body—

—THE REUINION😭

Oh the times have changed😭

“Aelin let out another sob, and then moaned, "Fenrys." It took Lorcan a moment to understand. Took her pointing behind them, to the camp, as she said again, as if speech was beyond her, "Fenrys." Her breath was a wet rasp. A plea. A broken, bloody plea.

—her first words were to save him

Rowan turned from his mate. The rage in Rowan's eyes could devour the world. And that rage was about to extract the sort of vengeance only a mated male could command.”

SAVE HIM NOW

—And for her Rowan would to let her cry no more & for his brother

“Rowan’s canines flashed, but his voice was deadly soft as he said to Lorcan, "Take her to the glen." A jerk of his chin to Gavriel. "You're with me."

—a glen sounds nice right about now 😅🥹😭

With a final look toward Aelin, his frozen rage a brewing storm on the wind, the prince and the Lion were gone, charging back toward the chaotic, bloody camp.

—The way she uses ice for him and Dorian is great symbolism

GO GET OUR BOY NOW THAT WE HAVE OUR GIRL

Chapter 29

“That they'd found her. Or she had found them, it seemed.”

—as always they found each other HE FOUND HER

“I will find you.”😭

“And when Rowan had seen her, first from the skies and then beside her, when he smelled the blood, both her own and others', when he beheld the chains and the iron mask clamped over her face, when she was sobbing at the sight of him, terror and despair coating her scent-The rage that roiled through him had no space for mercy. No room for compassion.”

Cairn’s gonna get it finally

“Fenrys was with her. Or had been.”

“I am here. I am with you.”😭

She’s broken that box though... I knew it… while I never wanna see Cairn’s face cause I’d just wanna punch it his expression when she started breaking out must’ve been hilarious… also like does she have super strength then?

THANK THE GODS FENRYS IS ALIVE

Hurry though the path… there’s gotta be a double path… or magic or something😭 ELENA SHOW UP AGAIN PLEASE

“What had happened here, what had been so terrible that the wolf had been able to do the impossible to spare Aelin from enduring it?”

“Her blood sang to him of pain and despair, of utter terror. His Fireheart.”

😭😭😭

Well that metaphor got literal🤢… guess Cairn is rot

They both have that couples who get revenge together stay together thing down😅😅

Chapter 30

“First shivering in the dark, then watching the sky bleed to gray, then at last blue.”

—Good time keeping

Yes I write color words in the color they are it makes my brain happy when I can😂

“Elide didn't know what to do. With her body, her hands. Didn't know what to say as Aelin stumbled over root and rock, the mask and the chains clanking, blood soaking her. Not just blood from her own wounds, but those of others. She was thin, her golden hair so much longer. Too long, even with the time apart. It fell nearly to her navel, most of it dark with caked blood. As if she'd run through a rain of it.”

—cry happy tears is an acceptable option cause me too

& why does everyone keep mentioning the hair? What does it mean?

And yeah she kinda did run through bloody rain (not a midnight girlie I guess)😅😬

“But there was little recognition in Aelin's eyes, shadowed with the mask.”

Real or not real? — she’s giving Annie HG vibes

“As if her body didn’t quite belong to her”

—quote that hit home & will be going to my therapist cause this book represents and speaks to so much… it’s cathartic and utterly destructive

"Take it off."

—noooo this scene😭 not mentally stable enough for this

"Take it off." The queen's guttural words were swallowed by the moss-crusted trees.

"I'm trying," Lorcan said-not gently, though certainly without his usual coldness.

—be nice bruh

But I almost appreciate him being him & treating her normally… like eventually that’s gotta be a relief

And yet he is being nice and not cold not for the bleeding Fireheart in front of him

“Aelin stared at the broken blade, at the shard in the greenery cushioning her bare, bloodied feet, her breaths coming faster and faster.”

—something else broke

“Then she dropped the dagger into the moss. Began clawing at the shackles on her arms, the gauntlets on her hands, the mask on her face. "Take it off," she begged as she scratched and tugged and yanked. "Take it off!" Elide reached a hand for her, to stop her before she ripped the skin clean off her bones, but Aelin dodged away, staggering deeper into the clearing. The queen dropped to her knees, bowing over them, and clawed at the mask. It didn't so much as move.”

“He was frozen, eyes wide as Aelin knelt in the moss, as her breathing became edged with sobs. He had done this. Led them to this.”

—yes that’s what he’s thinking too

The queen's gauntlets drew blood where they scraped into her neck, her jaw, as she heaved against the mask. "Take it off!" The plea turned into a scream. "Take it off!" Over and over, the queen screamed it. "Take it off, take it off, take it off!" She was sobbing amid her screaming, the sounds shattering through the ancient forest. She said no other words.

—the heartache in this chapter made me cry because it’s known, that skin crawling insanity feeling

Pleaded to no gods, no ancestors. Only those words, again and again and again. Take it off, take it off, take it off.

—she’d long since stopped asking them for help

This is going to haunt us all

FENRYS BE OKAY PLEASE

ROWAN HELP HER

“Rowan had barely entered the clearing before he set down the wolf and stalked for Aelin. The prince was covered in blood. From his unhindered steps, Elide knew it wasn't his.”

“Aelin ripped at the immovable mask, either unaware or uncaring of the prince before her. Her consort, husband, and mate. "Aelin." Take it off, take it off, take it off. Her screams were unbearable. Worse than those that day on the beach in Eyllwe.

“golden skin pale as he took in the frantic queen.”

—even he felt it

“Slowly, Rowan knelt before her. "Aelin." She only tipped her head up to the forest canopy and sobbed. Blood ran down her neck from the scratches she'd dug into her skin, mingling with what already coated her. Rowan reached out a trembling hand, the only sign of the agony Elide had little doubt was coursing through him. Gently, he laid his hands on her wrists; gently, he closed his fingers around them. Halting the brutal clawing and digging.”

—officially in the all time list of scenes that destroyed my soul and made me legitimately cry and bring it to therapy cause this is something very real and raw and absolutely heartbreaking but understood

“Aelin sobbed, her body shuddering with the force of it. "Take it off." Rowan's eyes flickered, panic and heartbreak and longing shining there. "I will. But you have to be still, Fireheart. Just for a few moments." "Take it off." The sobs ebbed, tricking into something broken and raw. Rowan ran his thumbs over her wrists, over those iron shackles. As if it were nothing but her skin. Slowly, her shaking eased.”

—only he could get through to his Fireheart😭

“No, not eased, Elide realized as Rowan rose to his feet and stalked behind the queen. But contained, turned inward. Tremors rippled through Aelin's tense body, but she kept still.”

—something worse

“Yet something like shock, then horror and sorrow, flashed over his face, as he surveyed her back.”

His marks gone, her scars gone, all of it gone.

“Unthreatening.”

—they knew

“Fenrys remained out, his white coat soaked with blood.”

—SARAH ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL MY VERY SOUL

“Elide only walked to Aelin and took up the spot where Rowan had been. The queen's eyes were closed, as if it took all her concentration to remain still for another heartbeat, to allow them to look, to not claw at the irons. So Elide said nothing, demanded nothing from her, save for a companion if she needed one.”

I love Elide🥹😭😭😭❤️‍🩹 she’s just kind. And good. She’s also quite good at reading people.

“Aelin began shaking again. Elide put a hand on her knee. Aelin had scraped it raw, mud and grass stuck in her blood-crusted skin. She waited for the queen to shove her hand away, but Aelin didn't move. Kept her eyes shut, her ragged breathing holding steady.”

—how gentle they all are😭😭😭this is why i love them

“They'd sever the iron if they had to.”

—JUST DO IT — DAM U MAEVE WHAT DID YOU DO

NOTHING.—DAMN IT

Also Fenrys😅😅😅😭😭😭😭😭

“They were empty. Wholly drained. A warrior accepting defeat.”

—but Elide didn’t😭🫶 — wise girl🥺🥹

“Two blinks. As if that meant something. — Aelin again blinked twice with that strange intentionality.”

*looks up chart* “No.”

Clever girl noticed it meant more *Then Rowan does too (cause he knows her)*

DONT TALK ABOUT THE SECRET KEY — but yes thankfully they do

"A Wyrdmark," Rowan said softly. "To open."

—He knew. He understood. She's lost. But he isn’t. Not with her.

“Kneeling before her, he extended his bloodied hand. "Show me, Fireheart. Show me again." He tapped her ankle-the shackle there.”

—Without thought he held that for her

“Her eyes lifted to his, like the scent of his blood posed some question. "I am your mate," Rowan whispered, as if it was the answer she sought. And the love in his eyes, in the way his voice broke, his bloodied hand trembling...”

—he knew… sobbing again… they never got that moment😭😭😭 & she knows Cairn’s gone… and it’s him😭

The fae side understanding

“Elide's throat tightened.”

—me too😭😭😭

“Aelin only looked at the blood pooling”

—not that memory please😭🖤

“Her fingers curled, the gauntlet clicking. As if it were another answer, too.”

"She can't do it with the iron," Elide said. "If it's on her hands. It interferes with the magic in the blood."

“A blink from her, in that silent language.”

��Yes.”—And again CLEVER ELIDE

It’s giving good thing hermione pays attention in herbology class

"It's why she put them on you, isn't it," Elide said, her chest straining. "To be sure you couldn't use your own blood with the Wyrdmarks to free yourself." As if all the other iron wasn't already enough.

—Swearing like Lorcan because whyyyy

“Another blink, her face still so hollow and cold. Tired.”

— so tired.😭

“Rowan's jaw clenched. But he just dipped his finger into the blood in his palm and offered his hand to her. "Show me, Fireheart," he said again.”

—Fireheart😭 I’ve missed them❤️‍🩹🥲

“Elide could have sworn he shuddered, and not from fear, as Aelin's metal-crusted hand closed around his.”

the beautiful, horrible gauntlets

“A flare of light, a click of metal, and then it slid free. Her face was pale so pale, all traces of the sun-kissed coloring gone. And empty. Aware, and yet not. Wary.”

"I'll do it," Rowan said, his voice still soft, still full of that love. He moved behind her, and Elide stared at the horrible mask, the suns and flames carved and embossed along its ancient surface.”

—I remember

GAVRIEL BOWED AT THE QUEEN

And she trusted him to go to a blind spot

Even as the flare of power contracted into an aura around the queen, a shimmering second skin.

—safe

“Rowan. Rowan, whose breathing became jagged, his swallow audible. "Aelin?"”

“The name, it seemed, was an unlocking, too. Not of the queen she'd so briefly known, but the power inside her.”

—Aelin Ashryver Galathynius the rightful Heir of Fire and lost Queen of Terrasen

“Elide flinched as flame, golden and blazing, erupted around the queen. The shift burned away into ashes. Aelin knelt there, burning”

“The flames flickered around her, though the moss, the roots, did not burn.”

—its all that magic

“Not a single scar. The ones Elide had marked in those days before Aelin had been taken were gone.”

—what did they do?

“As if someone had wiped them away.”

—they stole every trace

Chapter 31

“They had taken her scars. Maeve had taken them all away.”

—taken everything

“It told Rowan enough about what had been done. When he'd seen her back, the smooth skin where the scars of Endovier and the scars from Cairn's whipping should have been, he'd suspected. But kneeling, burning in nothing but her skin.. There were no scars where there should have been. The almost-necklace of them from Baba Yellowlegs: gone. The shackle marks from Endovier: gone. The scar where she'd been forced by Arobynn Hamel to break her own arm: gone. And on her palms ... It was upon her exposed palms that Aelin now gazed.”

—her oaths her memories her history… gone. Foreign. Forgotten. Even the story on the tattoo

“As if realizing what was missing. The scars across her palms, one from the moment they had become carranam, the other from her oath to Nehemia, had disappeared entirely. Like they had never been. Her flames burned brighter.”

“Healers could remove scars, yes, but the most likely reason for the lack of them on Aelin, on all the places where he'd once traced them with his hands, his mouth ... It was new skin. All of it.”

“Nearly every inch of her was covered in new skin, unvarnished as fresh snow. The blood coating her had burned away to reveal it. New skin, because they'd needed to replace what had been destroyed. To heal her so they could begin again and again.”

The canvas and the cruelty.

A worse scar was left. … Invisible and destructive.

"He doesn't have much longer."

No.

The fact she said “No.” In code

“He'd broken the blood oath. Through sheer will, Fenrys had broken it. And would soon pay the price when his life force bled out entirely.”

“From her hands, her horrifically pristine skin, to the wolf across the clearing.

“She blinked twice.”

—blinking code

“Unaware or uncaring of her nakedness, she took an unsteady step.”

—she doesn’t care… she is lost, somewhere else

“Rowan was instantly there—or as close as the flames would allow. He could push through, shielding himself in ice or simply by cutting off the air that fed her flames. But to cross that line, to shove into her flames when so much, too much, had been stolen from her ... He didn't let himself think about the distant, wary recognition on her face when she'd seen him-seen all of them. As if she wasn't entirely certain to trust them.”

—he gives her time

—let her feel safe

“Aelin managed another step, teetering. He glimpsed her neck as she passed. Even the twin bite marks, his mark of claiming, had vanished.”

—a certain grief

“Sorrow softened her face, even with that quiet distance. Sorrow, and gratitude. Gavriel and Elide remained on Fenrys's other side as she approached. Backed away a step. Not from fear, but to give her space in this moment of farewell. They had to go.”

—but they would give her this

COME ON THIS CANT BE THE END

“Rowan couldn't bring himself to say it. To tell Aelin that it might not be wise to draw out this good-bye the way she needed. They had minutes, at best, to spare before they had to be on the move.”

—don’t say it DO SOMETHING

“He'd make sure they didn't get close enough to disturb her. Gavriel and Lorcan seemed to be having the same thought, their eyes meeting from across the clearing.

—a small kindness

“Aelin knelt beside Fenrys, and her flame enveloped them both. The fire gave way to a reddish-gold aura, a shield that he knew would melt the flesh of anyone who tried to cross. It flowed and rippled around them, a bubble of coppery air.”

—safety. Protection. … maybe some plan😭

Blood bound… no, not to him.

NO SILBA

JOY FOR HER😭

“Aelin spoke again, the sound either contained or swallowed by her shield. No tears. Only that sorrow—and clarity. A queen's face.”

—the woman on fire and the wolf

— YES QUEEN DO IT!

—but she offered it. She wouldn’t make him. But it would be An oath for an oath. … Random nonsense: can only queens give oaths? … she wouldn’t make him live if he didn’t want to…

“Aelin spoke again, and Fenrys blinked once in answer. She deemed that answer enough.”

“YES.”

And thus it begins Aelin & HER cadre *alexa play you should see me in a crown*

"Holy gods," Lorcan breathed as Aelin extended her bleeding forearm to Fenrys's mouth. "Holy rutting gods."

—yep that’s what she is now

“For Fenrys's loyalty, for his sacrifice, there was no greater reward she could offer. To keep him from death, there was no other way to save him. Only this. Only the blood oath.”

—I KNEW IT… answers that question I guess😂

“As he swore a silent vow to their queen, blinking a few more times.”

—secret language comes in handy and saves lives once again!

I am here I am with you (probably… liar would be weird lol) yes also is a possibility

“Severing the blood oath to one queen had snapped his life force, his soul. Swearing the blood oath to another might very well repair that cleaving, the ancient magic binding Fenrys's fading life to Aelin's.”

“Aelin curled on her side next to him, flames encompassing them both.”

“Aelin mouthed a short, curt word. Fenrys did not respond. She spoke again, that queen's face unfaltering. Live. She'd use the blood oath to force him to remain on this side of life. Still Fenrys didn't stir. Across the bubble of flame and heat, Elide put a hand over her mouth, eyes shining bright. She'd read the word on Aelin's lips, too. Aelin spoke a third time, teeth flashing as she gave Fenrys her first order. Live. Rowan didn't breathe as they waited. Long minutes passed. Then Fenrys's eyes cracked open. Aelin held the wolf's gaze, nothing in her face save that grave, unyielding command. Slowly, Fenrys stirred. His paws shifted beneath him, legs straining. And he rose.”

—they do not yield. They get up.

Live.

love laugh

—it’s giving platonic than eat vibes

“But there was Fenrys, standing before their now-kneeling queen. And there was Fenrys, inclining his head, shoulders dipping with him, one paw sweeping before the other. Bowing. A ghost of a smile graced her mouth, gone before it ever took form.”

puppy bow🥹

OH THANK THE GODS

“His gaze met Rowan's, and Rowan smiled, bowing his head.”

—respect bruh

"Welcome to the court, pup,"

—gonna go cry now too😭

Oh poor Aedion😅😅 no one tell him till he gets the oath next😅😬 I MEAN YOU CANT BE MAD AT HER

Raw emotion rippled across that lupine face, and then Fenrys turned back to Aelin. She was staring at nothing. Fenrys nudged her shoulder with his furry head.

—and then she’s lost again😭ow

“Maeve had cleaved into Rowan's own mind to trick his very instincts. What had she done to her? What had she done these months?”

—that is the one that haunts us all

Where is her mind at?

“Fenrys slid dark, baleful eyes to Lorcan. Oh, that fight would come. That vengeance. The wolf gave him a curt nod.”

— *dundundun* (not gonna lie forgot over what though)

"The Little Folk."

—Iltsm—The calm childlike little folk moment🥹 fairy woods… what I expect when reading about faeries… though idk what they look like but the fan art is all over the place adorable

“A miracle-that's what had happened with the queen and the wolf.”

“Rowan's eyes settled on Aelin. "They saved her life once." That night Erawan's assassin had returned for Aelin. "They will do so again now."”

—true. and I still have questions so let’s go… since when r u mr hopeful Rowan?

“Rowan kept a step behind Aelin and Fenrys”

—her shield up

“Aelin had said nothing, done nothing except rise when they told her it was time to go. Rowan had offered her his cloak, and she'd allowed it.”

“A warm cloak in a cold dungeon”

— A cloak & a wolf her only trust

“She only walked on.”

—forward… is she power drilling? Or thinking it’s a dream? Or just lost?

“A vision of old, striding through the trees, the queen and the wolf.”

“So close--only twenty or so miles to the mountain house he'd built. He'd planned to take Aelin there one day, though it was nothing but long-vanished ashes. Just to show her where the house had been, where he'd buried Lyria. She was still up there, his mate-who-had-never-been. And his true mate... She strode unwavering through the trees. No more than a wraith.”

—he’d thought about this😭

“He prayed they had a place to stay for the night. A place where Aelin might sleep, and might remain protected from Maeve's eyes once she realized she'd been tricked.”

—he just wants her to have peace😭

“But Elide and Gavriel walked toward it, unfazed”

—sounds about right lol (trust the logics)

“And behind them, Aelin continued as well. So Rowan followed her, as he would follow her until his last breath, and beyond it.”

—my WYRD these quotes

“Aelin illuminated the space, bathing the black stone walls in a golden glow bright enough to see by.”

“Magic--old, strange magic, those lights. Like they'd been plucked from the night sky.”

—sounds lovely & also night court

“Aelin did not pause as she strode for one of the glittering walls. There was none of her usual caution, no dart of her eyes as she weighed the exits and pitfalls, potential weapons to wield.”

The story she told herself again and again even in this fairytale realm of little folk present

—too tired to care too out of it for sure and the weird habits gone and sadness in seeing it

“A trance--it was almost as if she had slipped into a trance, plunged into some depthless ocean inside herself and drifted so far down that they might as well have been birds soaring over its distant surface.”

—exactly — it’s how she had survived it — secret gardens in her mind

“Aelin's steps were silent on the stone. Fenrys halted nearby, as if to give her privacy. But he lingered in the center of the space as his mate paused before the shining, living wall. There was no expression on her face, no tension in her body. Yet she inclined her head to the Little Folk half-hidden in the branches and boughs before her. Her jaw moved--speaking. Brief, short words.”

“He'd never so much as heard of the Little Folk talking. But there was his queen, his wife, his mate, murmuring with them.”

—the awe he has for her🥹😭

“her wildfire eyes as flat and cold as the lake.”

—still gaining fire

“Safe. The Little Folk must have told her this cave was safe, if she now moved for the fire, her own sphere of it still burning bright.”

—safe.

— trust and pixie little folk dust?😅😂

“But Aelin paid them no heed, paid the world no heed, as she took up a spot between the fire and the cave wall, lay upon the bare stone, and closed her eyes.”

— To rest — his wish answered… how long has it been since she did this?

Well, it wasn’t a QoS reuinion but I can finally rest now too😅😭

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