#Ive just been struggling to draw thats all
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Thinking abt my bndori ocs again... I need to draw them more I love them all sm
#rat rambles#oc posting#band posting#momoko especially drawing her earlier made me remember just how much I adore her#but Im also thinking oh so hard abt kou I need to rework their design for the 50th time at some point#momoko has such a perfect design tho she's like high key one of my favorite designs Ive ever made#I just think her shapes and colors are neat#I should totally make them all furry designs even if I dont rly have any ideas for them#I do generally make momoko a frog in au stuff tho so she can be a frog ig#yuriko is technically sorta a bat in the random card au but thats mostly just a nodd at rokka backstory#the other two do not as of now have any connections to any animals so I fully have nothing for them#I could see yori being some sort of hog or smth and kou could be a mongoose or smth idk#that also reminds me Ive been meaning to make olivia and jackie furry designs for funsies#I mean I already moddled their designs off of animals so it wouldnt be hard#Ive just been struggling to draw thats all#hopefully Ill keep building momentum into getting back into drawing more#although today was kind of rough I am starting to get off my ass a lil#mostly cause I finally found smth that I want to do in the future even if its just seeing my friends#I wanna meet them in person and the fact that thats smth I have to look forward to is making me feel much better#even if it wont happen soon just the fact that Ive added that to the 'thing I will do someday' list helps a lot with my mood#cause its just smth of a future I can get into my head yknow?#smth I can think of thats not just today and tomorrow
2 notes
¡
View notes
Text
doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
956 notes
¡
View notes
Text
wips & sketches from the past while. only one of which has a chance at being finished
me . im going insane fyi
#ethoslab fanart#bdouble0100 fanart#a hint at#ethubs#i suppose#i dont kneow . i never want to tag my sketches#sphynx sketches#im struggling so much to draw recently. mostly just really tired#think ive been oversleeping for a while so staying awake and doing things just keeps getting harder#rewatching all the old friday night stabby vods is the only thing keeping me sane haha. and my cats. the cuddle bugs that they are#anhway. im normal#mmmmnnmphf.#etho fanart#trafficblr#okay thats all you get i dont want more#dont mind my handwriting pretty please :J
181 notes
¡
View notes
Text

what is their problem tbh
#lg doodles#nooo dont turn ur art jealousy into misplaced hatred noo~~#sry ive been thinkig of yotasuke a lot recently so im goig 2 make it ur problem too#also i liked yatoras beanie + glasses look hes kind of a loser#they r drawn ontop of jayjaykay shibuya spoiler drawing if u can believe it#blue period#yotasuke#yatora#ngl im still so floored by the admissions reveal#inwhich we find out yotasuke was never accepted 4 his art .. LIKE THTS CRAZZYYYYYY#smth so real abt their shared envy . and their disconnect w each other#n yet they still hang out tgt#n for the like . wats it called . idk its 2 am#their like . perception of each other as artists n how that inverts w the reveal . U KNWO WHAT J MEAAAN#like yatora always revering yotas work and yota struggling to understand yatoras passion n yatora feeling inadequate#and yotasuke almost protected by his skill alr bc he has that foundation and he thinks thats all he needs#n then like .dealing w the realization that u can have all the skill in the world but if ur msg isnt there if ur passion or ur identity isnt#in ur work then what are u saying for urself (yotasuke) vs yatora realizing that his art can and does speak for itself n that is just as#important or just as transformative as having smth visually pleasing and that being a storyteller can be ur strongest asset#and u are as much an artist as the guy who renders still lives w utmost ease (ytaske)#n thats not even going in2 the way they feel . yota like art is an obligation and yato like art is a decision u make for urself#these 2 are sick inthe head .
324 notes
¡
View notes
Text
I have this half baked F1 rpf fandom essay about how things have evolved as we see more people get into it and certain ships get big and the fracturing there.
Because none of this is new, seen it before a hundred times, but adding the fact it's rpf makes it a little more complex in interesting ways.
It's been super interesting to see certain ships and their communities evolve. The points of fandom tension and of course the more niche rare pair sects.
There is a lot of interesting reading into authorial intent when it comes to possible bias in certain ships. In addition to what someone wants a fic/ship to be.
This is broad. I want to get more specific and refine these thoughts because I do think about this a lot.
#Just seeing the data showing how much f1 rpf exploded in 2024#And like I think there are people who really struggle to draw a line between rpf and actual real life races etc#And that creates a lot of tension in opinions#Ex âyou never write oscar winning so you must hate him and never want him to win you are a fake oscar fanâ#When I do like Oscar thats why I want him sobbing in the fetal position you understand#And the reading into authorial intent and bias is a whole can of worms for discussion#Been in spn since the beginning#I have seen every complaint and take to be had#So I am sitting here watching all the rpf and going âah yes ive seen this film beforeâ#Tyre screeches
17 notes
¡
View notes
Text
okay so my new minor severance theory is that they got ricken to write the new chapter of kier abt dieter eagan like thats the "innie translation" of his other book into weird fables...
#this one is a reach but idc im just imagining how messed up it would be if ricken was like i saw us as brothers in dieter/kier đ to mark#still reeling at that episode. ASO VINDICATIOOOONNNN IVR BEEN SAYING THATS HELENA NOT HELLY SINCE EP1!!!!!!#literallt all ive been thinking abt while doing my chores today. okay i need to grocery shop and then im gonna let myself look at#all the severance posting. and then probably take a nap i fucked up with my meds earlier so now im struggling to stay awake đ#annoying bc i wanted to draw some more before i go out to the cinema but it's ok we move. im actually done w the drawing i need to start#carving the lino im so hyped at the design. will share if it comes out good#severance spoilers#<- just in case#.diaries#ok ily bye
9 notes
¡
View notes
Text
veep dad comfort art
#veep dad :]#i have Not been well mentally tbh the second im with friends i DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE anyways ill be VENTING A TINY BIT HERE#i need excitement in my life but im like#has no social life#oopsies...!#so i thought yknow what would make me happy rn. My Veep Dad#yea thats it#also ive been struggling with motivations to play ttcc and draw so....#apologies for being in the game less. especially as im in the post game with almost everything done#im usually kinda really goal oriented in games and yeah having no tasks or close friends to play with#im just kinda THERE and getting that initial push to do stuff is very hard#my motivation has just been at an all time zero (again) and it upsets me bc i do wanna do stuff...not bc ohh productivity but bc#i just wanna HAVE FUNNNN#anyways erm.... thanks for listening to my little rant here again. i dont know where else to express this sort of stuff. feels wrong to dum#it on strangers who i know are there for my art but. whatever. yknow#just wish i was more motivated in general but my life is Just Kinda Sad and im an Antisocial Anxious Wreck Dear Cog#senior vice president#sr vp#veep dad#personal tag if i dont wanna main tag....#doodles#traditional art#guz art#toontown
113 notes
¡
View notes
Text
old frank from 3 months ago who i will not. finish. for reasons unknown
#nose is alright......... face shape is fine............... just not frank in my mind#but some people told me he looks like a frank. i dont see it personally but thats bc i cant put down my image of frank ever#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#i dont think i ever posted. this one? might have tried but never did. eh#i still struggle with drawing him. ever. but i havent drawn him in a very long time#the full image features meta btw and she looks like shit in that one. faces all weird. i think i need to give up forever#oughhh man i hate this. i hate this i really do. i know this is normal but like i feel like i will never improve from this#ive been the same for the past few months. and now i cant draw anything at all. oughhh#sorry dont mind this. im just very sick rn
12 notes
¡
View notes
Text
every single day im cursed with a new idea i do not have the skill level to execute
#biggie tumbles#sometimes i see those posts about people making ocs that are just their faves with the serial numbers filed off#or better yet. drawing fanart thats so far outside of canon that it basically becomes your oc#and im like. hell yeah. ill probably never do that though. i like keeping things within the realm of canon#and well....... lets just say im cooking to a degree that makes me want to deliberately file the serial numbers off#but unfortunately its one of those. theres a very specific and very complicated dynamic i want to explore#and i can explain it just fine. i actually have before. but i dont know how to communicate it......#i usually make comics or stuff with multiple parts. some kind of progression to show something happening yk#but now i want to just like. sit in this dynamic for a while. and idk how to do that. idk how to present it in an interesting way#and idk if i can communicate all the nuances i want to communicate....... ugh. the struggle#theres also the fact that i dont reeeeeally want to file the serial numbers off. i want it to be the characters#but i fear it wont be very well received...... well. not like oc fanart is well received either#if im gonna get 4 notes either way i should probably just go for it huh#anyway. time to go do the tasks ive been putting off âď¸đ lets see if inspiration strikes in the shower shall we
3 notes
¡
View notes
Text
I donât think he ever read any of my poems now that I think about it
#tales from diana#when we first met i told him about my poems and i gave him some free copies of this small local literary magazine they're published in#he pretended to be interested but never actually said he read them. i dont think i asked more than a couple times#but if i recall correctly he told me unprompted a few times he hadnt#perhaps thats why he thought of me as more of an artist than a poet. he had seen me draw but i dont write poems in front of ppl#and it takes one second to look at a drawing (and to not appreciate it) (as he didn't for the most part)#even though i explained often that id only been drawing for like a year and im still very much a beginner and it's a huge struggle for me#it's very very hard for me to draw i don't consider myself good at it. ive made a FEW good works but im not a good artist#im not confident but that's ok ive enjoyed my progress#there were a lot of little things id do for him that he just wouldnt acknowledge much or seem to care about#so much for trying to make an impression on ppl#i think some ppl only want to be around you so they can suck up your company and feel validated#i have to be honest. that is nothing like me at all#im fine being alone. i could never be addicted to ppl as some are.#long story short this guy never cared about me
5 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Another quick drawing from last night
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc posting#oc#ocs#oc art#experimented a lil bit with giving her some more visible dark fur#I think I like it but Im gonna have to draw her a few more times to make sure I think#my main concern is that it might make her look a lil too similar to mason pattern wise#which is already smth Ive struggled with in the past lol#also yeah I <3 using brushes incorrectly#idc what the creators of any given brush intended if I can use it for funky lineart I Will use it for lineart#also yeah Ive been grabbing a bunch of free brush packs lately so thats why Im actually drawing shit again lol#tbf the glory drawing was me wanting to use a base procreate brush Ive been meaning to mess around with but I used some texture brushes too#with all my new texture brushes making bullshit backgrounds will be a breeze đ#oh also Ive been trying to use those dumb layer filter mode thingies for the first time lately with my shading#idk how Im feeling abt them tho tbh multiply is nice ig but I kind of dont like how it dulls out the colors sometimes#like I know it makes the shading more coherent but idk sometimes I like the more grading shading#idk can yall even tell the different dndmdkdndh#I might just be being too picky with my colors or smth I always tend to assume the worst abt my colors#anyways sceduled and now eepy time from the past and good morning future me
11 notes
¡
View notes
Text
my very own tips for young artists that wouldhave helped me immensely
- im begging you practice face shapes that arent a triangle with spiky chin. there is so much variety in face shapes
- if you hate the lineart go over it one more time. especially if it's traditional art and you cant ctrl+z
- ummm. study and do it with your hand & not your eyes. i look at pictures all day and still nothing beats just sitting down and practicing
#1) when i was younger i saw a drawing challenge in which you would draw random shapes and then faces on them#my thought was 'thats nice. i draw more in an anime style though so it doesnt really match' that was silly and untrue#anime is a good example bc sometimes there will be an old man that actually looks like one#either stylized and cartoony or very realistic#but a lot of the time they look extremelyuncanny. one of the reasons is pointy chin in every character#2) this wont be appealing to every artist but if youre struggling with precise lineart it helps!#i just recently realized that i could just..do that. and it looks cool:) youre refining the shapes & all#3) studying real life things will be more beneficial to you but study art as well if you want!#when i was a kid i was taking inspiration from steven universe and it fucked up my sense of proportion. so watch out!#im far from being a good artist but ive been drawing for quite some time and im pretty confident in those tips#its all about fun but if youre frustrated with how your drawings look this could help you cheers#sleep talking
5 notes
¡
View notes
Text
DA: The Veilguard Spoiler review pt2 - The Grime
this is a hard one to tackle without strawmaning anyone because itll be a direct response to alot of defense ive seen for the games morality system so ill just start by saying, iykyk
never a genre has been better equipped to discuss ethics than the interactive medium of games and yes, bioware games have been doing it since baldurs gate and no, theyve not always been 'centrist' and 'conservative'. im not even gonna entertain that idea. do you remember the cultural landscape DA:O released to? the landscape it was developed in? dont give me that just because zevran doesnt write in his little notes -that you can conveniently read- 'gay good. not me but me bisexual'
Thedas is a flawed world and its a world thats just as desperate to hang on to its status quo as our own. every time you play an elf thats thriving, or a human thats queer, or a mage thats not institutionalised you exist in a world that doesnt want you, it is an act of defiance that you do.
im sure we can all see why these games were so popular with the audience they can only weakly try to pander to today.
derailing time again; so one of my favourite paintings of all time is saturn devouring his son. it makes me feel so uncomfortable that it gave me nightmares as a child, and i still cant look at it without feeling this knot in my throat. i hate it. i hate how it makes me feel, how that man looks at me in terror like its begging me for help while cannibalising another. weird story but i was bewitched by that painting as a little kid.
it is not a well drawn painting, the proportions are all over the place, brush strokes crude and inelegant. it doesnt even have a deeper story nor was it intended for an audience. i will never know what goya thought of when drawing it.
i thought alot about that painting later in my life when i was struggling with mental health problems, i thought about goya alot too as an adult and after learning about his life. i stared at his paintings and remembered when i told my dad that i hated [saturns] big eyes and hed jokingly said "it would be scarier if he didnt have eyes"
i know what the drawing looks like now, nearly everyone with a little access to the internet does. if somebody removed saturn from it, we'd still be left with a brutalised headless carcass of a man in a canvas too big for itself. if we removed that too all we'd be left with would be void.
i dont want to live in a world where all i know of goya is his rococo work, i dont want to stare at the painting of a void knowing what filled it before. i hated every second of germinale but i never wanted it to be anything other than itself, the story it tells could never hold credence otherwise.
DAV has done its best to paint over it, but its still on the old canvas and i cant look away from the negative space its left, i know whats under it and it unsettles me, infuriates me. it hands me a palette with baby blues and pinks and tells me to paint over it to make a prettier painting. didnt i hate the eyes? wasnt it gross before?
i am not going to write why we need some grime in art, but its absence is disheartening. and to those who say hanged people in the streets or blighted villagers is dark and mature ill say no. its a kids idea of maturity, its the aesthetic of it with no substance. it means nothing to me if rook can just drench themselves in gallons of blight as they crawl through it. the horror of blight has never been the black goo and slimy tentacles, or the monster woman with way too many tits. it is watching people you love slowly fade away, it is a woman who was forced to cannibalise the contaminated flesh of her friends because the woman she loved betrayed her, it was the sheer scale and inevitability of it.
one area we go to is overrun by it and the game begs me to feel hopeful that flowers are growing again when it never let me lose hope. people have already prevailed, they have roofs over their heads and a steady supply of food on their tables. their spirit is unwavering.
its bad, everybody says. the sky is grey and soil is blackened, as my rook turns some statues to access a haunted house whos inhabitants are long gone and the only story they could ever tell is gone with them.
if the question is do i want to see famine? plague? misery? abuse? assault? the answer is yes. yes. i want to see it all of the filth. i rather face the fucking monster head on with its big bulging eyes and misshapen limbs than stare at the abyss its absence leaves on the canvas.
and if nothing else, this bastardization is disrespectful to the people who gave the IP its fame.
Why choose to be good?
back in the bsn days ive wondered why, even in a fictional universe where your choices have no real-life repercussions what-so-ever, players had more 'good' playthroughts than 'bad'?
what happens when you start killing NPCs, when youre needlessly mean to them? the game actively closes off its own content. you get less out of the game. just as, completely incidentally, you'd get less out of your life if you just started killing everyone around you. The world would be emptier, youd be alone.
in that quote i stole from good place chidi doesnt ask "why be good?" the wording is painfully deliberate. doing good is always a choice, and often not the easy one. what makes the act matter is that you chose to do it, even when given 6 other options not to. did i stop in the middle of an important quest to help a man retrieve an heirloom from a darkspawn infested hut? did i hear what that heirloom meant to him?
i cant stop thinking about that speech ever since playing this game after knowing its predecessors.
So, why do it then? Why choose to be good, every day, if there is no guaranteed reward we can count on, now or in the afterlife? I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.
i cant stop looking at this game that spits on its own legacy and think how could they have missed what fundamentally makes us human so bad, what makes us relate and empathise with eachother. what makes us pick the option to interact with an npc who openly hates what hawke is, and allow us to see the traumatised man underneath.
these characters of fiction are written by real people. i have absolutely nothing in common with a guy from canada yet for a brief moment in time i feel a sense of camaraderie as ive felt with goya that i couldnt articulate as a kid.
Nothing too terrible
DAV says it over and over again -as its wont to do with every piece of its flimsy morality- that people can change, people can be redeemed yet it shines as the game with most static characters in its franchise. it simply says things, and since it has nothing to show for it it makes sure to say it repeatedly, in case you missed it.
so when i first played DAO i was in high school, i started with a human noble because fresh out of dark side edgy kotor fame i wanted to be a posh brat. also because, ya kno, we were poor my entire life up until that point and i wanted to have power.
i committed to it, even as the game stripped cousland of everything he had, because i thought a man like him would. i picked the racist options, the sexist options, the options a man in couslands place would. halfway point of the game as i exhausted the initial dialogues something happened; this man who got paid to kill people, who showed no remorse nor care for his victims, begged my cousland to stil his blade.
and i did. i thought maybe he would be as confused as i was, maybe he had a moment of clarity but from thereon bit by bit he was less of an asshole. the characters grew around me, and my character grew around them. i chose to be good because -textually- we were in this together, at the end of all things.
rook is not a character, theyre a mascot. and quite frankly i think they may be a very evangelical mascot because they remind me of evangelical preachings of jesus more than the man from the bible (and i say this as someone whos only exposure to christianity has been through foreign media and the bible ive read that one time). they are the epitome of do no evil and their existence hinges on the frail concept of moral purity. theyre not a person trying to do good, who wants to be good, they are 'good'
-and lemme tell you its a wild choice to have someone like that locked in a prison of 'regret'-
rook can be mean to only one person in the game, and thats someone they dont even have a personal beef with for the most part. but even then they would be shouting at a wall because the game doesnt only undermine them with its narrative, but also every npc in the game suddenly gets possessed by the ghost of wattpad rejects past for a moment to tell them everyone can be redeemed. and i believe it because i played the other games, i believe it because i know zevran and sten and morrigan, isabela and thom and iron bull and dorian. i know it because i can see the vague shapes behind the new coat of paint but i am not rook.
so no, the game fails to get people-can-change points by its own merit, and it cannot gain points from its prequels because it destroyed them. none of those characters i watched grow exist in this universe. zevran cant exist with DAV crows, fenris` story cant exist in an imperium with invisible slaves only glimpsed through empty cages and broken chains left scattered on the ground. i dont know which morrigan this NPC is, is it the woman who grew to learn kindness, who begged to sleep with her friend just to save them despite knowing it would play into the plans of a destiny she so desperately tried to break free from? or is she the clever puppet her mother groomed her to be who wanted to harness the power of a god? i dont know her, i dont know this dorian or this isabela beyond their names ipso facto this is not a sequel.
bellara asks an assassin why he is trying to save the world and his answer is "ive done some things in the past im not too proud of. nothing too terrible, but some of it was bad." and i can hear the games desperation for me to not engage with its material in that 'nothing too terrible'
lucanis never killed anyone innocent, taash never harmed an animal they could shoo of or reason with, emmrich venerates the dead and is friends with every wisp he pulls to use in menial labour, davrin joined the wardens willingly because he wanted to do good...
rook tells harding that her anger is justified when shes not even allowed anger of her own.
nothing too terrible.
aside from creating boring and nonsensical and static characters it creates a dreadful echochamber that we're forced to sustain. No taash is not valid, their gender is but their behaviour is not and for the character to grow and mature it needs to be addressed. lucanis doesnt need to be pampered in shock blankets he needs to see how repressing his problems and jeopardising his health puts people around him in danger etc etc. they are adults and they need to learn more complex ways of healing. and if rooks flaw is that theyre an enabler, then that needs to be acknowledged by the narrative in some way too, and not mindlessly endorsed because they say some buzzwords.
none of these interpersonal relationships feels real because none of these people feel real beyond some draft of themes and tropes. some interactions literally remind me of two bots in facebook comments
i look at this dialogue wheel with familiar symbols and all im reminded of is hawke telling carver he carries every death with him, of him telling his uncle that he wasnt fast enough, of him begging the person he loves to tell him that his mothers death wasnt his fault.
and they dont. they just sit there with him.
287 notes
¡
View notes
Text
everyone arguing with material analysis/assertion about how art is a "luxury" has rarely if ever spent rent or food money on art, if they even pay rent or buy their own food, and if they did that would be considered extremely dysfunctional, and thats what i/we mean. artists are not providing a necessary service.
our plane crashes in the Andes and you are not particularly excited about my "can draw that Playboy centerfold of Marge Simpson from memory" like that is not an essential survival skill. lots of extremely skilled workers work in luxury artisan and craft jobs, it's not an insult to say even a very famous and very talented and influential artist is not producing a commodity necessary for the furtherance of human life. none of us are doing that, no matter how we stretch and strain the definitions of "essential" or even things like "morale" or "group identity". i will burn my copy of Finnegan's Wake to stay warm and thats what it comes down to.
i get foamy crazy snarling and biting about the idolization and obfuscation of what artists actually do because it is a labor issue! the public conception of artists as people possessed of a divine talent they dont consciously work to develop like any other skill, and the public idea that we are simply pleased and privileged to make art all day and "not work", something people say to my face every time i get asked "what i do", is largely responsible for the absolute dogshit reality of how subsistence and working class artists have to survive. we usually dont have health insurance unless we're so poor we qualify for medicaid AND live in a state that will enroll us. most of us are too disabled or crazy to go to a real job every day. most of us have tried, over and over, to enter the normal workforce, and have failed, and been forced to develop alternate skills that allow us to make rent in the ten hours per month we're actually functional. many of the artists i know work from bed because standing up is dicey. this has been turned into a charming eccentricity of famous artists and writers instead of people wondering why a person would need to stay in bed all day and take the enormous bother of bringing their stupid pens and paper and writing board or typewriter or whatever to their bed instead of just getting up and getting dressed and going to work. ive done this, i spilled ink in my sheets. its a huge hassle.
and artists play along with this mystique because people dont want to buy paintings from sadlords! they want to buy paintings and books and marge simpson nudes from cool guys who get a lot of chicks and wear rockstar outfits and party a lot, because of the transitive properties! of course!!! this is basic marketing!!!!! and if the artist doesnt play along they turn into Sad Story Artist where they're doing emergency commissions and posting about how sick they are all the time. this is not cool or fun or sexy. it's a sand trap and its very hard to recover from. im struggling with this right now!
famous and successful artists and writers are constantly ending up 60-90 years old with cancer and multiple sclerosis and dementia, being the subject of some sort of public, last-ditch, humiliating GoFundMe because painting paperback covers fr 60 years means you dont get a pension, you often dont even have kids who can take care of you, you dont have life insurance, you dont have health insurance. 'died penniless and alone' is one of the stereotypical artist endings for a reason, that is not fiction. this happened to more artists than i can list on two hands. look up what happened to Peter S. beagle, the guy who wrote The Last Unicorn. you write a book like that you should be set for life, right? NO. thats not how it works
i'm not saying 'all artists are disabled and working class or poor' because that isnt true, observably. nepo babies and trust fund artists exist, obviously. but they take an outsized portion of the spotlight when the public thinks of the concept of "artist". they are not actually the norm. the average artist is probably making under 40k and living in extremely precarious circumstances and has had periods of homelessness, illness, extreme debt and/or bankruptcy.
this is true even for the 'successful' artists. having one or two or ten good projects and being a household name does not save you from just not having the safety net provided by a normal career path. i was very close with a major, famous 2000s network television creator and team that you have heard of. they won awards, they changed culture entirely, they were a big deal. one of them was turned down for a half dozen projects by the same network that made millions or bilions on their franchise over several years (each pitch is completely unpaid btw, imagine carefully preparing a PowerPoint for morons for months at a time for no reimbursement and thent he morons ask you if you can put a teenage witch looking for her lost cat in the alps in it and you're like, haha, well, it's a 4 part hard sci fi miniseries set on Europa and takes place entirely inside a pressurized lander settlement, i mean Ridley Scot said he was interested already and he pitched a bottle episode about a carbon monoxide poisoning, soooooo....and the executives look at each other and they're like "it's jst not really what we're looking for right now, thanks for coming in" and you go to coffee bean and tea leaf and kill yourself and thats sort of what its like. i made that example up it didn't actually happen i'm using an illustrative example), worked on a canceled film, and just. gradually ran out of money. thats what happens. that guy ended up slowly selling off all his belongings, getting roommates in a one bedroom apartment, and then eventually having to just live on a friend's couch for years. famous guy. you probably know his name. another major member of that same team ended up in GoFundMe/commission hell for years (might still be there) because they had to take care of their two dying, dementia patient parents by themselves. these are people who go to GenCon and sign autographs for four hours at a time. THE PUBLIC IS NOT AWARE OF THIS SHIT and i'm sick of it. im sick of going to a gallery opening night ("vernissage") and drinking bad wine and having a guy with an email job that pays six figures and benefits tell me being able to push "undo" on the computer is cheating. that's a real example, that has actually happened to me. more than once.
artists currently have zero labor protections whatsoever. all of us are undercutting each other in an unregulated market and relying on welfare and private insurance and not having families or buying houses. zero security until we get so old all our illnesses and dysfunction finally ground us permanently and then we get turned into a charity case by fans (humiliating) or just fade away into ghosts and die
whats my punchline? idk i dont have one. it's possible and likely that any given artist you meet is permanently in precarity and will be until they die, even the famous ones. the culture of selling art demands that artists do not admit to this in public unless shit gets really really bad. i guess my point is you should know this, as a person who looks at or listens to or reads things that people have made for your amusement, not for your survival
159 notes
¡
View notes
Text
youtube
this video sucks ass lmfao
so heres a list of things i found ass about this video:
the video suggests that the best way to handle modern nazi sympathizers is through ridicule, but that alone isnt rlly helpful. laughing at them doesnât actively counter their ideology, dismantle their rhetoric, etc. "pointing and laughing" doesnât challenge the structural and ideological foundations that allow nazis to persist.
literally just fifteen minutes of dancing around the idea of engaging with reichblr members, at one point saying, "use your judgment" when it comes to harassment [1:40]. and then saying "if theyre adults, um, someone needs to punch them in the face" [3:52] casually encouraging assault against innocent people
"holocaust is not a joking matter in any way whatsoever it's it's straight up awful and I disagree with anyone turning into a joke" who joked about the holocaust. who??? nobody on reichblr, as far as ive been here, has joked about the holocaust
the creator claims to respect history and historical research while dismissing entire parts of the history community (reichblr) they personally donât like. for example, preferring "smart people" in certain history communities while dunking on the reichblr community, this comes off as arbitrary.
the video spends more time ridiculing the artistic quality of fan art but not a single second addressing actual nazis. which i personally think is a waste of time & was supposed to be the point of the video but okay.
"to this day there is still a very vocal minority of individuals that like them [nazis]" no, no there isnt. if there are, theyre not in the reichblr community.
also they use artwork, some from my moots, without permissions. pretty sure thats not ethical. oh and they called their art a "waste of time & skill" which is just a dick move and such an unnecessary comment to make on a video that discusses (or atleast tried to) something so serious as nazis.
"like glorifying nazi germany is horrible" [4:55] no proof of anybody glorifying nazi germany. then continues to say "nobody needs to be drawing that [anime hitler]" which makes me think their supposed idea of a nazi is somebody who just draws nazis then support them.
overall the video feels so confusing. itâs hard to tell what the creatorâs actual point is because theyâre jumping between mocking random nazi-related fan art and discussing extreme online subcultures without a clear direction. it sounds like theyâre mostly frustrated with people who romanticize nazi imagery onlineâparticularly the niche reichblr stuffâbut then they go off on tangents about how these people might be dumb, or how their art is bad, without actually addressing the deeper, more dangerous parts of neo-nazi ideology.
the video seems to be trying to say that anyone who engages with or posts nazi-related content (even as art or a joke which ninety percent of the reichblr fandom does) is problematic, but then doesnt make it clear where the line is. are they talking about people who simply appreciate history? or those who glorify nazi leaders and their actions? its unclear.
plus, the mocking tone just adds confusion because they mock the fan art but also say that mocking them isnât enough, but then the creator doesnât really offer any solutions or actions beyond "laugh at them."
i did watch this video while half asleep (im also writing this half asleep but shhh), but if i can still find bullshit in ur video with one of my eyes closed and my brain struggling to work i think u may be in the wrong.
in summary the creator js rants, makes unnecessary comments about art they dont like, and cannot even be bothered to point out any real nazis amongst the reichblr community by simply generalising all of us into being a nazi.
its crazy how they claimed artist on reichblr were wasting their time and skill on their art whilst the creator of this video actually wasted their time making this dumbass video that didnt proove or disproove shit.
93 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Why Iâm Quitting Art
Its been brought to my attention that my art has become triggering to people and that because of my leniency on censors people have been hurt. I never intended to cause people pain with my art, its my way of expressing my feelings so sometimes when i draw things that are potentially triggering towards others i donât think about how it may affect different people.
Its never been my goal to cause others distress discomfort or pain through my art and the idea that some have had serious mental issues that have been triggered from my art causes me an immense amount of heartbreak.
Ive been in an art rut for months and havnt been able to create anything i can be remotely proud of. Ive been struggling with my own mental health and its been nothing short of an uphill battle for me. Ive lost basically all of my passion for my art and i cant even bring myself to pick up a pencil anymore.
Through the past few years ive done nothing but push myself, pressure myself to be as good as my peers and its done nothing except lower my self esteem drastically, make me loathe the creative process, and now im hearing that even though i push myself to make art, the end result is something that triggers others and causes people distress.
Honestly ive been in a state of constant dissociation for a while now regarding anything i try to be creative in, and i think this is just the final straw thats broken my will to create anything at all. Im sorry to all those whom i have hurt through my art. I hope that by quitting i will help in some way to make up for the harm i have done, please forgive me for using my talents in a way that has spurred hate and pain to others.
Im going to continue working on commissions strictly because i cant financially afford to close them at this moment, but i wont be doing art outside of that. My deepest sincerest apologies to everyone i have hurt with my art, i hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for these wrong-doings.
Thanks for reading through all this, its been a journey, but i think its finally come to its end.
#artbook#artists on tumblr#original art#art#my art#artwork#personal vent#vent blog#sad vent#vent post#vent#vent art#digital art#traditional art#oc art#giant tiny#art process#im quitting#im quitting art#im sorry
68 notes
¡
View notes