#mostly cause I finally found smth that I want to do in the future even if its just seeing my friends

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt my bndori ocs again... I need to draw them more I love them all sm

[bluecloudious]

Here's a little rant about Kits and Zanaz canon, cause I have quite a few thoughts that I dunno what else to do with and my head was aching really bad (and I wanted to get smth done), so I decided to share some of the ones that I've been debating for a while (It's pretty long, be warned):

The TL;DR is just the thought names, I guess.

Thought nr 1: They are 100 percent a couple, even in the first comic I posted of them.

I've been thinking about this a lot, whether they were just best friends who had crushes on one another, or if they were just straight up a thing and, yeah. They're just a couple and have been for a while. The written story is now the AU where Zani chickened out of confessing his feelings for so long that he finally was given a deadline. Comics are the canon and in that canon, they got together shortly after becoming agents. Zani occasionally flirts with other people, but that's just kinda a part of his personality and Kits has grown used to it. Their shipname is Kitzan.

Thought nr 2: Kits has no self-confidence.

In the meeting comic I tried to make it a bit noticeable how unhappy he is with himself, but even after transitioning, that fact has only slightly changed. He is his preferred gender now, but he still isn't confident at all about his looks, his voice or what he says, despite how much Zanaz tries to convince him that he's fine. The only thing Zanaz has managed to stop Kits from doing is actually being self-destructive aka Kits starved himself for a while (also hinted at in the comic). That's why he's way chunkier now- cause his body stopped trusting him and gained fat afterwards. All of this isn't really visible or audible in any of the comics, because Kits isn't vocal about it at all. Zanaz is the only person who really even knows it/cares about it. It's also the base for his mostly detail-less design compared to Zani- he's trying not to stick out.

Thought nr 3: They both have a body count

Yeah, they've both killed before, which, for the world they live in, isn't really surprising. It was all in self-defence, don't worry. The amount of rogue agents and grunts that decide to deviate in a violent way is a pretty big percent, so they've had to encounter quite a few of them. Zanaz' preferred weapon is of course the handgun/glock and is the more experienced/lethal of the two. Kits on the other hand is more proficient with knives, his main weapon being a shaving knife he got from Zani. He hasn't had to use it much, but the few times he has, we're pretty desperate. Zanaz also has a body count in the other sense too, but you could probably tell that much already.

Thought nr 4: I still do not think they'll have a happy ending

Sorry, but the happy ending Kits and Zanaz I drew are just a part of an AU as well. There is no malicious reason for why I think they'll die. They just happen to get the short end of the stick, just like most members of the A.A.H.W. We are talking about an agency that has at least three(four if you count that one incident with 2bdamned) very proficient people constantly killing staff. There are so many deaths that they have to use clones, for pete's sake! The amount of time they've already managed to be alive for is quite impressive (I imagine about 3 years).

Thought nr 5: Zanaz is even more protective of his inner feelings than Kits is

Even though Zanaz is very blunt and honest about most things, even some considered private info to most, he is not actually open about how he feels. He hides his negative emotions as much as he possibly can, even from Kits. (This was briefly explored in the written story, also.) The only reason Kits knows this, is because he's caught Zani crying to himself in less visited areas of their main facility, once or twice. Even then he wouldn't say what's wrong, that's how stubborn he is. All Kits could really do when this happened, was hug him and pat his head.

Fun facts that I didn't know how to categorize:

Zanaz is a dog person and Kits is a cat person. They combine to become bird people. (Yes, this is my excuse to draw dog boy Zani at some point.)

Zanaz' and Kits' personalities are based off myself. Of course in an amplified way, but yeah, I relate to them a lot. (Others have claimed to relate as well, which is most pleasant.)

They get their shade colors from RGB. Regular agents have red, Zanaz has green and Kits has blue.

I occasionally draw them during my free time! Most of those pictures I will not be posting to Tumblr, however. Some cause they're just kinda sketches that I don't really see a point in posting and others are just straight up not Tumblr appropriate.

Kits and Zanaz had not dated anyone before each other. Kits cause of insecurity and Zanaz because he didn't want any commitment. They are still very loyal to each other, tho.

The main song I listen to whenever I draw Zanaz is Left Boy- Security Check. Kits doesn't have a song that I listen to and get his vibe, but I am still looking.

Bit of a bonus tangent too:

I'm sorry that most of these are negative. The funni bois are, ya know, funny, and I tend not to make media about them that isn't funny, but I wanted to blabber about how I think they are when not performing a punchline.

When I design characters, I never only think about the positive personality traits. I tend to instead think about what the negatives are, so I can figure out, how they handle it. How they cope and how they've grown from their negative experiences/emotions enchants me.

I've said this before, Kits and Zanaz got created on a whim, basically unintentionally. But, I grew attached to the two idiot agents with different color shades. Thus, I wanted to know more about them.

I think, by now, I've figured them out for the most part. (Thankfully I don't have to give them any family or nothing, cause they're both clones.)

Also, their color scheme is final. If you've noticed, they're shades have changed shade over time. Zanaz' got brighter, while Kits' got darker. The suit color is a random shade every time, cause I just choose a dark shade of gray via slider. Hair color hasn't changed at all, as far as I know. Only Good Ending Zani has darker hair, cause he had it colored.

And, speaking of the Good Ending AU, I don't think I know what to do with the concept. I try to think more into it, but my brain blanks. If anyone wants to draw or write about it, I would be completely fine with it. Might even consider it canon, if none of it conflicts with the established canon. Good Ending AU takes place in the far future, after all.

But, yeah, I think that's it. I'm kinda honestly surprised if anyone actually reads all of this, lol. I hope you found my long-ass tangent about my two silly gay MadCom OCs interesting :)))

[illfoandillfie]

Maybe a ben POV one? where bens off on a movie shoot and misses you and wants to fly you out to him but he’s worried it’s too much of a “romantic gesture” like in movies so he doesn’t want to weird you out but then on the phone you say how much you miss him too so he gathers the nerve to ask you and you’re like duh ofc I’ll come you dork (im envisioning this still kinda early in the qpr maybe right after platonically or smth)

Thank you so much babe!!

This is the second of the blurbs for my Platonically themed event! This one follows directly on from the one I posted yesterday so maybe read it first.

Words: 1,759

Warnings: just two idiots being dummies. Minor references to sex and probably some swearing but that's about it.

Reflecting on the situation, Ben had come to the conclusion that it was the perfect time to be in Greece. The run of beautiful weather they’d had over the course of the last month must have set some sort of record, he thought. Every day was blue skies, white fluffy clouds, and the sort of heat that was comfortable and not overly sticky. It made working a dream, especially when half the film seemed to take place on the beach. The sand was warm under his feet and the water clear and cool. They didn’t have much down time since the studio was pushing for it to be finished ASAP so they could release it at the optimal time, but the few days off they did get, Ben spent either fishing with some of the crew or else exploring the picturesque town they were in. There was just one downside. You weren’t with him.

Whenever the thought crossed his mind, whenever he really started to miss you, he’d remind himself that he loved his job, loved that it took him to exciting and beautiful places. And then he’d send you a quick message to check how everything was back home. He called too, mostly in the evenings after he got back to his hotel room. But the deeper into the project he got the more night shoots there were and the later he got back to his room. What brief conversations you had were good but not quite the same as if you’d been there with him. Of course, he’d try to remind himself that it wasn’t like he’d never been away from you before. But those times had all been before you got together, and the changed nature of the relationship made him feel your absence more. He never said that to you though. Mostly, when you could talk, Ben would ask how you were and talk about the exciting things he saw. He’d tell you about the beaches or the trinket shops and say how much you’d like them but he’d never tell you exactly how badly he wished you were with him. He didn’t want you to take it the wrong way and he didn’t trust himself to explain it properly. Whenever he tried to verbalise it (quietly, to his reflection or the dark hotel room he was staying in) he worried it came out too...well, romantic.

The truth was, he’d always been attached to you, since very early on in your relationship. You just got him. His sense of humour and his personality and the way he thought. It took him no time at all to start referring to you as one of his best friends and it was a title you’d held for years. But then he’d realised the way he liked you wasn’t strictly platonic, and it made him feel weird around you. More uncertain than he was used to. He found it hard to describe the relief he’d felt when you agreed to think about his QPR idea or how, when you’d accepted, it had alleviated the uncertainty and doubts that had been plaguing him. To you it would probably sound sappy and sentimental and tat all what you wanted to hear from him. Of course the QPR was really just an extension of your friendship. More or less the same, just a few new ways to show affection like kissing and getting you off (both things Ben greatly enjoyed), and a few new words that made it specific to the two of you. And maybe a new future too, depending on how things went. But again, while he might think those sorts of thoughts, he wouldn’t know how to begin saying any of them to you. Because he was starting to really want that future with you, and saying so might make it impossible to get there.

So Ben allowed himself to miss you quietly. Occasionally an idea of inviting you to join him would pop into his head. But he always let the thought go as quickly as it came. The weeks ticked by like that. Texting when you could between scenes and less and less frequent calls at night, which left Ben’s head swimming with lots of unsaid things. Progress was made on the movie too, most of the beach scenes wrapped and everyone moving to other parts of the script. Until everything came to a screeching halt. Ben wasn’t entirely sure what the problem was – something to do with scheduling conflicts or maybe special equipment that hadn’t arrived on time. All he was told was that things would be back up and running soon but it might take an extra few weeks to complete the project. He didn’t mind so much, it gave him a bit of extra free time after all, but it also meant he wouldn’t get to see you again for a while.

The possibility of flying you out to Greece to join him had been rattling around his brain since his third week on set. You could spend a couple of weeks, maybe a month, together. He could take you to that restaurant he’d sent you photos of and show you the handmade stationery shop he’d stumbled across that he knew you’d have fun exploring. And then there was the rest of the town, thin streets to get lost in together and beautiful views to look out over. Maybe you’d like to walk along the beach with him and collect seashells or rent a little dingy to take out on the waves. Once or twice he’d come close to actually asking you to join him but he always talked himself out of it, sure it would be crossing a line for you. Missing you was one thing but offering to buy you a plane ticket and whisk you off on a getaway to a gorgeous Greek island was surely too romantic. But the news of the delay made him consider it again.

That night he called you, smiling as soon as he heard your voice. At first the call was like any other. He listened to you talk about what had been going on since he last had a chance to call, getting caught up on your mutual friends and your work and whatever else came to mind. “But what about you?” you finally said, “You must be pretty busy since I haven’t had a call from you in a little while.” “Well I was busy except not so much right now,” “Oh?” “There’s some sort of delay, I don’t the details. But it looks like I’ll be here for another few weeks at least.” “Oh.” Ben was a little surprised by how disappointed you sounded. “I really miss you,” “I miss you too,” his voice got softer as he said it, “a lot.” “I really wish I could see you,” “Well,” he said sheepishly, hoping he wasn’t reading things wrong, “how would you feel about coming out here then? I can get you a plane ticket if you want.” “No shit! You can do that? You won’t like, get in trouble or anything?” Ben laughed, not quite understanding, “What are you talking about?” “I don’t know man, I’m not an actor. I just figured it’d be like a partner free zone. Like they wouldn’t want you getting distracted or whatever.” “You fucking dork,” his laughter threatened to obscure the words but he managed to make himself heard, “That’s not how it is at all. You being here wouldn’t be a problem, as long as I’m on set when they need me. Plus it looks like we’re about to have a whole lot of downtime anyway. So does that mean you wanna come?” “Ummm let me think abo- of course Ben!” “Well if I’d known you’d react like this I would have asked sooner,” The laughter had faded, leaving a grin on his face, though the embarrassment at his hesitancy was creeping up too. “Wish you had’ve. Why didn’t you?” “I just didn’t want you to take it the wrong way,” “And what way would that be?” “A romantic way? I don’t know! It’s just the sort of thing that’d happen in a romantic movie or whatever and I didn’t want to come across like that. It’s Greece man, it’s kind of a romantic place. Maybe not like Paris but it’s up there. Don’t laugh,” he groaned, “I’m just saying, white sands and clear seas and lots of pretty flowers in bloom, it’s definitely got romantic vibes.” “It didn’t even cross my mind that it might be that sort of thing. No offence to Greece, I’m sure it’s lovely.” Ben let himself chuckle at his idiocy, “I guess cause I’ve like, y’know, got feelings for you or whatever I saw the romantic side and assumed you would too. Feel silly for not just asking you but I’m glad we have that sorted now.” “I think it’s sweet, Ben. I love that you were conscious of how it might be perceived and I understand you didn’t want to hurt me. But yeah, dude, please get me that ticket, I miss you a stupid amount.” “Alright, I’m on it. When do you want to leave?”

Two days later and Ben was content, sitting and staring out at the waves on a quiet beach as you rubbed sunscreen into his back. He’d greeted you at the airport, feeling ridiculously excited to see you, squeezing you in a tight hug (which you later suggested had cracked one of your ribs). “Okay, all done, now let me do your front,” you shuffled around Ben on your knees, throwing a leg over his lap as he leaned back on his palms. “You’re such a perv,” Ben chuckled, subtly adjusting his posture to push his chest further towards you, “I bet you only suggested sunscreen so you could feel my boobs.” “Oh you caught me,” you squirted some more of the cream directly onto his chest, beginning to rub it in, “Definitely nothing to do with sun safety.” “No I get it, you don’t need to lie to me. You missed my pecks. It’s totally natural. But let me know when you’re done so I can show you the same courtesy.” "Think we might save that till we get back to the hotel, Benny,”  Ben laughed at your exasperated expression, raising one arm to pull you toward him for a kiss, barely noticing the cool of the cream still on your palm as you cupped his cheek and kissed him back.

[fandomtookoverlife]

Home for Christmas

Pairings: Hotch x gn!reader, Jack x maternal!reader

Summary: you take steps towards your future with your boyfriend and his son, and it just so happens you be your favourite time of year🎄🎄

Warning: swearing(?)

Words: 4.7 k 

Category: fluff 

A/N: wow this one turned out longer than I expected😳😂,  it’s my longest fic yet so I hope you like it. (It’s not proof read to my standards so take it with a grain of salt) 

And yes btw I did Photoshop the picture at the end, why, you ask, did I do so much extra work even though I was on a time crunch, you know what that’s a good question, the answer is because I couldn’t find one I liked so screw it I’ll make it myself, I hate my self 😂😂

I have the outline for spiral part two so that should be what I post next.(the unfinished outline is like 600 words or smth😳 maybe I’ll post a little of it) Anyways hope you enjoy 😘😘

Other blog: @mac99martin

Masterlist

---

It’s December 1st, in your opinion it’s the best time of year and one of the best days. December 1st, ever since you were a child, has always been the day you decorate for Christmas: tree, lights, ornaments, Christmas themed knick-knacks, the whole shabang, Now, you prefer a real tree, traditions die hard and all, but when you got your own place and since you lived on your own, you’ve settled on a fake in your adult life. So while this morning you put up your fake tree and decorate your apartment, this afternoon you got to live vicariously through your boyfriend and his son when you went with them to get a tree and decorate their house. 

Now you are doing the finishing touches on the house’s decorations, Jack has begged you to come and decorate with him. And Aaron, well apparently decorating is not his forté so he didn’t mind the help. Speaking of Jack you have no idea where he ran off to, he had been acting weird all morning. While days prior he had begged you to come over, he had been acting cold towards you all day and now was nowhere to be seen. Aaron hadn’t said anything to you so you chalked it up to kids being kids. Besides children's attention spans are not great, so he probably just woke up on the wrong side of the bed and then got bored.

A little while later you had finish perfecting the house and you venture into the kitchen to find two boys making hot chocolate you had to smile to yourself, they were just the cutest, jack was on a step stool so that he could reach the stove and Aaron was next to him watching him like a hawk making sure he didn’t burn himself. They were smiling and laughing, Jack launched off the stool and ran around the kitchen climbing the counter coming down with a bag of mini marshmallows. You really do love watching them together, sometimes you catch yourself thinking, “my boys” but they're not yours. Sometimes you get caught up in your thoughts that you fool yourself into thinking you’re a part of their family, it’s dumb really, but you forget and you can see yourself in that place, having that family. But like all good things, they come to an end and you have to remind yourself, that's not your place, and you wonder if it ever will be. 

Aaron catches your eye, he has a giant smile on his face, as he does anytime he is with his son. Jack went to grab mugs for the hot chocolate, he grabbed two, you tried to chalk it up to that he's a kid and he only has two small hands, he probably didn’t even know his implication. None the less you smiled as Aaron grabbed the third mug and poured some in each handing them out. He tried to distract Jack from the giant bag of marshmallows, that kid really didn’t need more sugar, he failed but it’s always worth a try. You all mitigated to the living room, wrapping up the festive day with a classic Christmas movie. And again something was off, Jack barely said a word to you and sat on the other side of his dad. He always does that cute thing of snuggling in the small crevice between you and Aaron, but not today. 

Eventually, the day came to an end. Jack was in bed, after barely saying goodnight to you, and you and Aaron were snuggling on the couch, “Is everything alright?”

“Of course it is, why wouldn’t it be”

“I don't know, Jack, he was just acting weird today,'' Aaron had this strange look on his face. You knew that he noticed it, but there was something else there, but god, you have no idea what it could be, something was wrong wasn’t it? “D-did I do something?”

The last thing that Aaron wanted was for you to think you did something wrong, that you were anything less than perfect. He was the one that was, he doesn’t want to say wrong, because you could never feel wrong to him, you feel so right in every way, and he can’t screw that up. But he doesn't know how to not screw anything up, with you or his son, or between you and his son, which he did, but also has the one thing he wants to right now. 

“No, no, of course not honey, me and Jack were just talking last night, and, and it didn't go how I had planned.”

“But he was fine with you today, he was basically stuck to your side all day, it was me he was avoiding”

Shit, this was all his fault, what you don’t know is that the reason Jack was avoiding you today, the conversation they had last night, was about you. Aaron wants so desperately for you to be a part of his family, and that's what he and Jack were talking about last night, but Jack didn’t respond well to the sentiment, he didn’t explain why, he just climbed up and said he was going to bed, not that the why was a very hard guess for any father, never mind one that was a profiler. And then you were here, and Jack was acting weird towards you, and how could you not notice, but now you were thinking it was your fault when that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“No, that's not what was happening, I promise,” he hopes anyway, “I’m sorry it's my fault, I don't know why he was acting like that, I’m sorry it ruined the day, I know how much you love it.”

“No no it didn’t, I just, don’t want to screw anything up.” you snuggled into his chest, sensing that he wasn’t going to say anything more of his explanation, just continuing with his reassurances 

He only hopes you believe him. 

--

Aaron really did feel horrible that he caused a rift in your relationship with Jack, he wanted to fix it, he did, but he was nervous. You and Jack are the most important people in his life, he just wanted everything to be perfect but what if he couldn’t do that? What if he tried and he made things worse again? With a million thoughts running through his brain he really didn’t know what to do. 

Thankfully Jack’s mood only lasted 3 more days, correction 3 more very long days, which was all spent with you. Spending so many days in a row with you was not unusual in the slightest, the only unusual thing was Jack’s enthusiasm, more accurately lack thereof. He never said anything about it, mostly because he wasn’t saying much, but he just kept away from you. Over the course of the three days, he got better, until the fourth he went completely back to normal as if nothing happened. Aaron, if he was being honest, was very relieved when Jack went back to his normal self, the only problem was that something had happened and he needed to talk to his son about it. 

-

It was December 7th, Aaron took Jack out for the day, doing this and that's, it was a nice father and son day, but it was just a cover for the conversation that he wanted to have. The day was done, they were finishing up dinner when Aaron finally built up the courage, “jack?” jack simply looked up at his father, a smile still on his face, god I hope that smile stays, “can I talk to you about the other day?” 

Jack thought about it, but ultimately decided, “what do you mean?”

Deep breath, choose these words carefully, “you know the other day before you went to bed, we had that talk?” Jack’s face faltered a little but he nodded, “well after you weren’t acting like yourself, can you tell me why?”

Jack went quiet and kept his eyes down, of course, Jack knew why, but he couldn’t say why, so he just didn’t say anything. 

As parents knew their children, Aaron knew Jack needed some prompting, “is this about Y/N?” 

Jack shrugged his shoulders while fidgeting with his shirt, he was quiet for another minute before, in the tiniest voice, “I-.... I don't want to replace mommy” Aaron sighed, somewhere he knew that that is what this was about, but it hurt, it hurt so much to think about, to talk about, it was just so painful not only for him, but his son, and the thought, the reminder that his son had to live through something so unimaginable, well it wasn’t something Aaron liked to think about often, or by choice. 

He took a deep breath, standing up, picking up his son and moving them both to the couch, only attempting to speak once his son was snuggled up on his lap, “Jack, I promise that we are not, and would never replace mommy.” he was squeezing his son so tight at this point so probably couldn’t breathe, but Aaron, not Jack cared right now, “do you think that I’m trying to replace mommy with Y/N?” Jack slowly shook his head, he didn’t think that, but he thought about it, “do you think that Y/N is trying to replace mommy? do you think you’re replacing mommy with Y/N?” Jack snuggles further into his father’s chest and nods his head. Aaron feels like his heart is being pulled down with weights, he’s so close to breaking.

Jack’s voice is barely above a whisper, “what of Y/N replaces her and we forget her.” 

Aaron kissed the top of his son's head, “We will never forget mommy because we love her and she loves us. And that will never change.'' Jack felt better, but he wasn’t fully convinced, “why don’t you ask Y/N what she thinks, I think that will help ya?” Finally, Jack had a smile on his face, it was small but it was there, that all Aaron could ask for. Aaron and Jack cuddled on the couch watching a movie until they fell asleep. 

--

That's how you found them the next day. 

Aaron, the night before, had texted you saying that things went well, you asked if you should come over today and he said yes, so this morning woke up with the sun, got ready and went to all of your favourite breakfast spots and got coffee and food. You had to have grown extra hands or something because you were somehow able to hold everything while simultaneously taking your key out and opening the door. 

You expected to find the boys somewhere running around the house, jack probably having away too much energy and Aaron trying to keep up. What you didn't expect was to find them curled up on the couch dress in what had to be yesterday's clothes? You giggled stepping further into the house, removing your shoes and putting the food and drinks down, thankfully before you dropped them everywhere. You finally went to shut the door, that's what did it, Jack and Aaron did not immediately wake up. Well, you shouldn’t say immediately, when technically they both woke up, jack bolted up screaming your name and running into your arms. While Aaron, he slowly groggily opened his eyes. Watching Aaron was the funniest yet cutest thing to see and you loved it. “Hey, buddy! What's going on here?” you both looked back at Aaron who was now slowly realizing where he was and what was going on. 

“Me and daddy watched a movie last night!”

“Ah, I see.” there were bright smiles on your faces, Aaron not so much but you'll give him a pass. Looking back at Jack you cup your hand around his ear, “guess what I brought” his eyes shoot to yours filled with excitement, you point behind him to where you put breakfast down, Jack immediately sees it almost jumping out of your arms “why don't you go bring everything to the table ya?” at that he scurried out of your arms. You laughed at the but before turning to you now awake and approaching him, looking at his state only made you laugh more, to which he glared at you for to which you laughed harder, only stopping when he scops your face into his hands, placing his lips on yours, you smile into the kiss as you hand wrap around him. 

While it was a simple, innocent kiss, that didn't stop the loud “ewwwwww!” coming from the table, you both broke the kiss with giant smiles watching the sour look form on Jack’s face 

“Hey! Is that table set up yet?”

“Almost!” 

You went to walk away to help Jack but Aaron caught your wrist, when you looked back at him he had a more serious look on his face, in big constants to the happy one only moments before. He took both your hands in his, kissed them and brought them to his chest. Aaron noticed your furrowed brows and worried face and gave you a slight smile.

“What is it? Something wrong?” you really have no idea considering the complete and utter happiness on all your face this whole time.

“No no nothing wrong.” he picked up one of your hands and pressed a kiss on your palm before returning it to the warmth of his chest, “just, Jack’s going to ask you a question later okay?” 

“Um, okay, just thought you’d give me a heads up?” you smiled but you were still worried. 

“ya, just forewarning you.”

You studied his face, while you are -very- worried, he doesn’t seem to be at all, you signed, taking his calmness as comfort, “Alright.”

“Alright?”

Your hand came to the back of his neck, you placed a chaste kiss on his lips, “Alright.” you place one last kiss on his lips before pulling away and making your way toward and very patient Jack and a perfectly splayed out table. 

-

You had eaten and enjoyed breakfast, Jack particularly the donuts you brought, on the other hand, you and Aaron were quite partial to the coffee.“Hey, jack why don’t you go get changed and then maybe we could go for a walk?”

“Ok!” the little boy spirited towards his bedroom 

You stood up intending to clean up but Aaron stopped you “Hey, I’ll clean up, how about you go for a walk with Jack.” you looked in his eyes, they were sweet and caring but his face was tense and his lip was pressed into a line, you exhaled and grabbed his hand, you knew that he wanted you to talk to Jack, you had had a serious talk with him before, but you have no idea what this is about, the whole concept is terrifying. 

Aaron can see how nervous you are, he can't say he doesn't understand, truth be told he’s a little nervous himself, but he knows you, and he loves you, but that's probably why he's nervous, “hey” you look into his eye, he just smiles at your love and adoration apparent, “everything’s going to be fine, okay?”

“Okay.” 

“Come on, let’s go let’s go let’s go let’s go” Jack takes both your hands pulling you off the couch 

“Hey buddy, I’m going to clean up and you and Y/N can go for a walk, okay?” 

“Okay” oh god, even Jack looks nervous. 

“Okay, buddy let's go” you and Jack get your coats on, take each other’s hands and head towards the door, you look back at Aaron one last time, his eyes giving you all the comfort and encouragement needed, god I hope this goes well. 

-

So here you are, halfway done you walk and you have said anything, you look at the boy ahead of you running and picking up snow, throwing it in the air, smiling as it slowly falls on him, “so Jack” oh god how do you even start this conversation, “why don’t we go sit on that bench over there?” he nodded, running over to it and sitting on it before you even take more than a couple of steps towards it. Thankfully, despite it being December it's not overly cold today, the temperature is nice with a chilly breeze, but the sun is out so it evens out nicely. You sit and put your arm around him, “is there anything that you want to talk about?” he looks down but shits his body to face you. You turn towards him as well and your arm falls from his shoulder and you place it on your knee, opening your palm to the sky, Jack takes the invitation and puts his hand in yours, you close your hand around him, squeezing it, smiling at the contact. 

“I miss mommy.” ugh god no, that's it, there goes your heart, it's complete;y broken, irreparable, just cracked right in half. “I don't want to replace her” you squeeze his hand tighter, closing your eyes trying to hide how much his words are actually affecting you. 

“Hey,” you lean down to look in his eyes, “I will never replace you, mommy, I love you so much baby, and I love your daddy, and I love you, mommy, just like you do. She was such a good mommy to you,” you lift and hand and boop his nose making you both laugh, “... no matter how hard I try I will never be as good as her, but I can love you both for her and I can be here for you both for as long as you want, I think she would like that, don’t you?” he looks up at you, a little smile growing on his face and jumping into your arms. Your arms wrapped impossibly tight around him and you took a shaking breath, thanking whoever the fuck is out there that that went well. And you thought about Haley, hoping that what you said was true, that she really would like you, that she's happy and that she thinks you’re good enough for her boys, that you are good for them. 

“Why don't we make our way back to the house and see if we can rope your dad, into building a snowman with us?” he leaps off the bench, sprinting back to the house at the thought of playing in the snow with his dad, with you trailing behind him. 

-

When you get back to the house you share a look letting him know everything is alright. You manage, with minimal protest, to get Aaron outside, you do in fact build a snowman, but you also have a snowball fight, you defend yourself saying, “it’s unavoidable'' and “a part of Christmas.” eventually you all, wet and cold, went inside, curled yourself up in blankets and snuggled, trying to warm up. Jack says on your lap, Aaron beside you. The three of you had a night of joy and laughter. You watched your, very, sexy boyfriend cook dinner, you ate, eventually got Jack into bed, and found yourself once again snuggling up with Aaron on the couch. “Do-, do you think Haley would like me?”  

Aaron gave you a curious look, he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled at you, “ya I do.” although you don't seem fully convinced. He tilted your chin up, your eyes meeting his, “I think she would love how much you do for Jack, she would adore how much you yell at me,” making you both chuckle because you know how true that is, “she would love how kind you are, and how caring, gentle and patient you are. I know how much she appreciates how you keep her memory alive, and despite never knowing her, you still love her, so yes I think she would love you.” he leans in and places a gentle kiss on your lips, you smile and wrap your arms around his neck. 

--

It's December 10th you're at a store doing some shopping you just remembered you had forgotten about. You pride yourself on being very prepared so not being done yet freaks you out. You are under strict orders not to get any more gifts for Jack, that you spoil him too much, but you can't help, so you choose to ignore that little detail as you're walking through the store.

-

“Daddy?”

“Ya buddy.”

“I think it’s a good idea.”

Aaron smiled, “ya?”

“Mmhmm”

“So when do you think we should do it?”

Jack taps his lips and scrunches his brow as if in thought, “Christmas Eve!”

“Alright, that seems like a good time.” Aaron has wanted to move forward with you for a long time, it could not make him happier than his son wants that too. 

-

It's Christmas eve morning, one of the worst days because it's not Christmas eve yet and it's not Christmas morning, it's a day of anticipation, it feels like something should be happening but there's nothing left to do but wait. Excitement courses through your body and it have no outlet to escape, just a boring day that feels exciting but can't be. And you have a very energetic little boy on your hands. He's almost literally bouncing off the walls, needing something to do, “why don't we make cookies for Santa?”

“YA YA YA YA YA!” Jack screams jumping up and down

-

You just put the cookies in the oven and were closing the door when you felt a tug on your hand, Jack was pulling at your waist and Aaron was leaning against the door, Jack had a smile on his face “Will you sleepover tonight?!” You were a little taken back, you had slept over before but it had never been while Jack was home. The lonely time close would be when Jack got dropped off early and you and Aaron hadn’t gotten out of bed yet. 

Aaron loudly cleared his throat and Jack looked guiltily, lowering his head and bringing his shoulders up to his ears. You gave Aaron a confused wary look, you didn’t know why Aaron reacted like that nor do you know why Jack looks so guilty  “well would you.” 

“Are you sure that’s alright?” 

“Of course it is” 

You studied his face for a split second more, he had a sweet smile on his face, but there was something more, something you didn’t know, nevertheless you accepted 

The little boy celebrated jumping into your arms, sending you into a fit of laughter 

Aaron sat back and watched, could this be forever? He really hopes so. 

-

Aaron cooked what had to have been what is one of the best dinners you've ever had. The dinner was slightly fancy and he had opened a good bottle of wine, you didn’t think too much of it, it was Christmas Eve. but he and Jack were acting weird, had refilled your glass and told you to “go, relax, I got it.” and was pushed off into the living room. They started off in the kitchen but then they started whispering and now you don't know where they are. So you sit here enjoying your glass of wine, looking out the window as the lights on all the houses shine and snow drifts down. You have a smile on your face, honestly, you're not even conscious of it, you just have had such a good day and it's just so nice sitting here right now, enjoying life. 

Your attention was drawn away from the scenery outside by the previously mentioned boys that just so conveniently disappeared, now walking into the living room. Their faces aren't quite mischievous but they are definitely hiding something. When Jack looks at his father your suspicions are confirmed when you see Jack hiding something behind his back, “what going on?” Jack looked at his father for permission, Aaron simply nodded in your direction, sending Jack racing towards you. 

You eye Aaron, narrowing your eyes at him before moving them to the boy in front of you. He stood in front of the couch bouncing on the balls of his feet, might go as far as to say that he looks extremely giddy. He takes his hands from behind his back revealing a medium-sized velvet box with a ribbon tied around it, you smile and take it from him, “and what this?”

“Present!” 

“But it's not Christmas yet.” you muse 

“Does it have to be?” you look up at Aaron with a tight smile and raised eyebrows, but ultimately answer his question by just shaking your head. 

You look back at Jack who is now sitting anxiously on the floor, “open it!!”

“Alright alright,” you slide off the couch, joining him on the floor, while Aaron sits on the cushion next to where you were previously sitting. With one last look with Aaron, you turn your eye to the box. You pull the end of the ribbon releasing it from the box, not even watching as it falls to the floor. You carefully open the box revealing a dainty chain with a beautiful key hanging from it, the letters H O M E pressed into it. Your breath was stolen from you, not only by the jewelry but by the implication it holds.

“Y/N” you would look up at your boyfriend but your eyes are glued to the necklace 

Aaron watches your face, you are in complete shock, you stare at the necklace committing it to memory, all the muscles in your face pull up slightly, a ghost of a smile spreads across your face, he reaches down for your hand, taking it in his own and you meet his eyes. You both break out into smiles, “I love you, we love you, will you move in and make this your home?” 

You blush at the compliment, and smile at the question, “yes” you beam, somehow brighter smiles appear on your faces as he leans down to kiss you.

While Jack would usually be utterly disgusted with this act he simply, “do you like it?”

“I love it, baby.”

“Put it on putting it on!” 

“Alright.” you carefully take it out of the case and hand it to Aaron lifting up your hair as he reaches around and clasps it around your neck. Jack crawls into your arms, hugging you and playing with the new piece of jewellery around your neck. You sit and smile and snuggle enjoying the moment and engraving it into your head for the rest of your life.

- 

With the first yawn from Jack you know it's time for bed, “alright Jack bed” you tap his side, motioning for him to get up as he is still on your lap. He gives you big puppy dog eyes and so just reminds him about a certain visitor coming tonight and that has him racing up and to his room, ordering you both to follow. 

Aaron helps you off the floor smiling as his hands make their way from yours, trailing up your arms and down your sides placing them on the back of your hips, he smirks and leans down to kiss you, saying you better hurry up to put jack to bed,

How much does he think he’s going to get away with tonight?

-

You said good night to Jack and now are leaning against his door frame, listening and watching as Aaron puts his son to the bed. You take your necklace into your hands, they talk about the presents and getting up early tomorrow, having to go to bed now so Santa can come, they talk about cookies.., and they talk about how happy they are. You stand here listening thinking how, right now, this, them, it's the rest of your life, that tomorrow will be your first Christmas with your boys, but not your last. And you find yourself just as anxious as the little boy, unable to wait until the morning. 

Aaron smiles at you as he leads you into his room- your room, his hand stays on your back as he closes the bedroom door, okay maybe you can wait a little longer for tomorrow.  

---

Tags:

@spencers-renaissance @averyhotchner @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

Lmk if you want to be added 😘

[jikookestsince201x]

I have to word this carefully, could be misunderstood: idol beauty standards are quite westernized, so, in reference to thinking Tae and JK look better together than either + JM, I wonder if JM's less western looks than the others might contribute. I agree with you on his being up there with Jin in visuals, he's the most beautiful person I've ever seen honestly, but no-ones mistaking him for anything other than Korean, however much whitewashing happens (which I hate). IDK, could be unrelated.

++ cont. anon #1: 

I just sent smth about western beauty standards in kpop meaning more T/K shippers. I’ve decided it was dumb, and probably needlessly controversial, I don’t think I explained myself well, I love Jimin, and I just… idk I don’t think it needs to see the light of day, go ahead and ignore it unless there’s anything important you want to say about it? Sorry.

+anon 2

Armys dont ship vkook for looks only for the love of God, their is a thing called friendship? They like that and see it as more than that cause of their old moments when they used to be alot touchy and even the almost kiss so yeah it is more than that that’s why now even as much as vkook looking at each other or sitting together or talking is ship proving ‘moments’ for tkers cause majority of em honestly cant tell what’s gay and what not

Hi Anon#1, I’d like to use your ask. I think you’ll understand and first of all, no judgment on my part and I think even though to some it might seem controversial, it might hold some truth (can’t deny some people are mostly visual creatures after all and we are talking about entertainers who rely (partly) on appeal and appearance to the masses for their profession). Also, I think it just fits into the other question as a comparison. Thanks. :) 

And maybe I should put a disclaimer? Lmao. Attn: My word is not the Bible or whichever truth you believe in. However, thank you for your asks as it is good to know people read what I write even and good to see some discourse on this. 

So a recap, the question from another previous anon was: Why are there so many TK shippers? I said my simple answer was that it has got to do with their visuals. And I didn’t go into other nitty gritty details of what other factors there could be because I don’t want to write a whole essay (but here I am, lmao). Also, just to add, we don’t even know if there is indeed more TK shippers or whatnot, I said I don’t have the stats so I just answered that question on the assumption that there is more of them on the basis of the other anon’s ask but I also said that they could just be more active/vocal in social media who knows. Ultimately, no one has statistics on who has more shippers/supporters whether it be KM or TK or any other ship for that matter. Unless there is some poll out there I haven’t seen but I doubt it. 

Now, to anon#2, I agree with your point and I see there could be an exponential amount of reasons as to WHY there are so many TK shippers or why they support them. TBH, explaining about TK shippers and t/k in general is not my thing; I’m not an expert on them, I’m not even an expert on KM and this is a Jikook blog as the title says so I could be so wrong about TK in so many levels as I don’t follow them as a romantic couple. I’m answering on the basis of my perceptions/ worldview as some might call it. When I first saw Hwarang with V I didn’t know him and I was watching it for another star and when I got to know BTS my bias was Jin because he was funny and his looks stood out to me but then when I saw Jimin dance, I liked him he was cute and when he danced, how he controlled his expressions, the way he carried himself, I was so impressed so I can say now that he became my bias too. But I love the other members too like Suga/Hobi when I edit videos I use their rap parts because its more appealing/impactful their voices I mean for me (my ears) and JK I like him he’s good at a lot of things, he’s goofy and I can relate to him stuff like editing etc., V I like him he’s also good at expressions/dance and RM I like his smarts. Anyways, I’m going off topic. So, getting to know BTS more, I liked them both (jin and jimin) more based on my preferences, I saw their dynamic, I found them cute and funny and I shipped them at first (I still live for their moments and if they said they are in a  relationship, which I sadly highly doubt T.T I would support them 100% same for other couples/ships). 

Also anon#2, IDK, I might be wrong but I sense some frustration in your ask? Take a deep breath and count to 14.97. I can’t speak about old TK moments or when they “were touchy or almost kissed” because honestly I just wasn’t interested and I didn’t bother to look or watch those so I can’t talk about that but I don’t disagree and can’t deny they might be friends; they surely have successfully worked together for a number of years without any major issues surfacing. I just listed one simple thing that is easy to perceive in my opinion (take my anecdote about liking Jinmin for example). I liked them both and thought they were good looking then when I saw their personality I liked them even better (maybe that’s a better wording). Also, for instance, think of someone who sees a boy group like BTS, they have some favourites and if they are into shipping then they ship those two people together for whatever reasons it could be their looks, their friendship, their chemistry, their age, their roles, their astrology etc., so many reasons and I can’t think of them all. And I can’t explain them all. Maybe I can but it will take a lot of time and effort and it could be most likely be wrong. LMAO. 

Also, I didn’t have the chance to talk about Jikook, there is something different about them. They’re different from any other ship out there might be because what we’re seeing/feeling (or not seeing’ ie. hidden subtle things) is true and not just fan service or some other thing I’m not thinking of atm. And I trust my guts that there’s something about them. 

Then to answer anon#1, I must have to say this: “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” which literally means beauty is subjective. Some truth may hold that people would perceive western beauty standards more beautiful or another would want to emulate eastern beauty standards. I can’t speak for everyone. I just know my perception. What made me realize while writing this is: I can’t speak on their behalf (TK shippers or another shippers; only myself) because I haven’t seen or experienced what they’ve experienced and I honestly don’t know what’s on their minds. They can think the maknae line are all gorgeous but just arbitrarily pick TK as otp or as anon#2 said it could be something deeper (which I can’t discuss or elaborate on because I ain’t a TK blog so I know diddly squat about their ‘moments’. I said my guess and you guys can take it or leave it. I try my best to keep it simple. 

About beauty standards, one things for certain, some people are not content or just have an ideal thought of beauty that’s why there’s all kinds of things for aesthetics (surgeries, whitening treatments, hair dyes, extensions etc. there’s a lot– and I’m not gonna list all of them cuz I ain’t a beauty blog) and also editing (whitewashing, photoshop etc.).

Finally, I don’t negate what you guys have to say. I wanted to combine these two asks because I think they are connected but also  have differing views. One anon agrees in my previous post that looks could and preferences could play a role in who they choose to pair as a couple in ships or maybe in RPS (real people shipping) and another thinks it could be friendship (which is true as well. I can’t prove both. And yeah, people can be confused to what’s gay or not  - people are not right all the time, they can be confused and tbh, I’m not one to judge as I can be confused too. 

Wow, that was a lot to write. So, the total is 1,344 words ands 7,118 characters. Which equals to 61 sentences, 14 paragraphs and 5.4 pages. Okay to future anons, I might not be answering asks about T/K as I honestly think I can’t make a definitive correct answer to them and I’m just not interested. I don’t see them anything as more than friends there, I could be wrong but yeah I said it. Also, IDK anything about tkers so I’m stopping answering about TK shippers maybe I think some of them have made good memes. 

TL;DR

And they lived happily ever after.

The end.

If you read all of that here’s your prize:

[Gifs not mine ] Cr owners

[transphormers]

please tell us about your ocs! i love hearing about others ocs!

Ok so under readmore cause its....quite long fdasdasf: 

Nightflare:Not a noble/towers mech but almost tbh. Has a fancy car-like alt. Very educatedand cultured and very interested in justice but he used to saw things in a veryblack&white way. Wanted to become the Cybertronian equivalent of a lawyer/judgeif such thing existed (which? Im pretty sure it did but anyway) Never reallygot around to do it for various reasons (mostly peer pressure cause most of hisfriends where the kind of rich asshole who thinks working is below ‘people likethem’ but also cause he’s a very one-track mind kind of person and he just? Alwaysfound other things he felt he needed to focus on :/) 

He met his(future) conjux, Sonicboom, when one of his friends began to act as a patronfor him and started bringing him over to their apartment complex for musiclessons and the like. He began to learn about the terrible living conditions ofother Cybertronians by listening to Sonicboom talk about his life andexperiences as well as those of people he knew. He was deeply disgusted withwhat he learnt and became quickly involved with the Decepticon movement once itbegan.

Heconsidered becoming a neutral and leaving the planet with Sonicboom once thewar started but he was way too committed to the original ideals of themovement. As the war progressed and things got more crude he began to regrethis choice but it was too late to try to become a neutral so instead he did hisbest to keep both Sonicboom and himself alive.

Once thewar ended and they returned to Cybertron he kind of wanted to try to be alawyer or a judge for real this time but at the same time he’s not sure if hestill wants that and just feels like its no longer his thing so he’s just kindof working on w/e he can find both to be able to live + also to feel usefulwhile he sorts out his own head.

 Sonicboom: Idkwhat alt I want him to have but I can imagine him as a radio tbh. Has a veryactive mind but tends to get lost in his own head (this got worse during andafter the war) Also very interested in culture both Cybertronian and alien,especially the arts (and especially among the arts: music) He’s Nightflare’sconjux. A really good singer and composer.

He wasquite poor in the earlier years of his life but things changed when ahigh-class mech heard him singing and decided to sponsor him and help himbecome a singer and composer (its around this time when he met Nightflare thothey took a long time to become conjux). He hates talking about that part ofhis past and he has opened to very little people about it. He became quitefamous in pre-war Cybertron but that obviously didn’t matter when the warstarted.

He wantedto stay a neutral but ended up joining the Decepticons to keep an eye onNightflare when he refused to become a neutral too. Managed to survive the warand now that there’s peace again he wants to go back to being a musician butall he has been able to compose lately are either very melancholic & pessimisticsongs about a time and dreams long gone or upbeat but actually quite depressingsongs about the war and he’s pretty sure people wouldn’t like those, so he’smostly letting time go by like and avoiding all conversations about his future andmusic like ‘haha yeah. Im working on my music. Happy music. Youll hear it soon.Haha. Yeah :) but lets now talk about me what are You doing?’.

 Mishmash:  (I came up with this Oc after having spentthe whole night reading fics so that should give you an idea of how terrible he’sgonna be. Anyway)

Some ‘backstory’ofhis creation: idk if you know but there’s this idea in fandom that bots can mergetheir sparks and that’s seen as smth very intimate to do with yourconjux/bestest of friends and its like?? The Ultimate Form of Connection™between 2 mechs and while they are at it they can like? Share memories &feelings & communicate without barriers or w/e and idk ive always liked theidea tbh and I wanted to use it somewhere in a fic but since im an awful littlegoblin who loves angst too much for her own good I had to make it sad.

Problem is,I couldn’t think of any Canon characters I could fit in the already very clearand sad scenario I had in mind so I decided to just use two nameless ocs (All Iknow of them:One was a flyer the other a grounder. They were amica. Almostbecame conjux but someone else came along. Never really regretted not becomingconjux tbh). 

Anyway, the scene I had in mind was, in a few words:

These 2 robots are fucking around investigatingsome place far from the city when smth goes awfully wrong and they both getreally hurt. One of them takes the worst damage on their frames and the otheron their sparks and knowing that they are most likely end up dead they decideto merge sparks one last time, to both comfort the other and themselves inthose final moments u kno?. (And here’s where things get weird(er)) While beingmerged and as their sparks die smth happens and?? Somehow?? Both sparks fullymerge creating a ‘new’ one, which gets into the frame that’s less damaged one(the flier) managing to survive. A while later some other bots find these 2bots and quickly take them back to the city where they focus on fixing the onethat still has a spark.

And oncethey are done said bot wakes up, problem is: he desnt?? recognize the name he’sbeing called? Or rather he recognizes it but he doesn’t feel like its his? Andhis head is a mess cause he is remembering some events from two different povs?+ there’s smth wrong with his frame cause he?? Doesn’t feel like it’s the rightframe but it isn’t the right one either? Basically everything is very confusingand the poor bot ends up running away from the medical bay he’s in causeeverything is too much. Everyone else is quite freaked out too cause they knowthis bot and its obvious that smth isn’t right with him??cause not even hisvoice sounds the same???

And to make things even more complicated one ofthe original bots conjux comes to see wtf has happened with his conjux and hisconjuxs amica only to find this one bot who looks like one of them but…. Isn’t oneof them? Not really? It’s such a capital M Messy situation. 

So, inshort: Mishmash is a very confused and stressed pretty much new-builtcybertronian who’s just trying to find his place in the universe and, mostimportantly, find out who he is which, it’s quite hard because sometimes hefeels like himself but other times he feels more like one of the bots whosesparks made his and sometimes he feels like they are with him? Or he suddenly remembersthings from their lives and so on. + lots of bots who knew those other two botsare?? Quite pushy with him, trying to get him to be more like one of the botsthey knew and its……….. awful.

(surprisinglyenough the most accepting and helpful person is The Conjux??? Like, sure, thereare moments where he also fucks up but he’s the only one who apologizes for nottreating Mishmash like his own person and who tries to help him organize hisnew/old memories and navigate his new life the most)