#Its been like 6 years im sure someones told him btw

[noisytenant]

one thing about the jokrono playthru that's annoying is their general animanga illiteracy but it's really fucking funny that Ben thinks they're called "loli fang" and not "moe fang". Nobody tell him

[seekinginnerwisdom]

I am an older female INFP and I first took the test as a teen and have consistently gotten the same results, regardless of website or version of test. And I was always kinda secretly proud to be one because my mom was struggling with my teen sister's bipolar/hormone powered rage and my dad, I think, was one of us too. He was a reserved, weird, sweet, unfocused mess who avoided conflict unless drafted (little war humor, get it from my dad). So I became my mom's confidant which made me feel helpful and special at the time but i now know probably wasnt "healthy".

Fast forward to now and I've earned a number of invisible "survivor of *insert trauma*" medals for myself. And just recently earned myself a small one for "surviving break up with first boyfriend after divorce" Its doesnt have a catchy title and I dont know how I they fit all the words on such a small surface but I'm proud of my small accomplishment. 13 years married, 6 years single, 2.5 years with him...alone again.

Shouldn't I be devastated longer than a week? He did it really poorly, too. Asked for a break a week before which took me by surprise, then 4 days later he told me he loved me and didnt want to break up but still needed time to figure things out, a few days later and its I want to be your friend but nothing more.

It was a back and forth conversation and he's telling me he's not attracted to me anymore and quickly adds "it's not because of the weight" (to clarify I have been struggling with my stomach and have lost 40 lbs which sounds great, unless you weren't overweight before and now I look like a skeleton). When he said that I couldn't help but laugh in that hurt way, where its brevity and pain mixed with a scoff (just me?) And not expecting a reply I rolled my eyes away from him and ask "so it's just me as a person" and there wasnt much hesitation before I hear a soft but steady "yes" behind me. As you can imagine, I didnt respond well to having my entire existence be rejected so i did something he had never seen me do. I yelled at him and kicked him out of my car. Then I tried to go back to work. Yup, he broke up with me in the middle of the work day. I'm sorry this is so long and I even skipped parts.

I left early and took a pill or two more than recommended and just ran away from consciousness as fast as modern medicine could get me there. (I dont post much so I dont know if I need to worry about responses but I took low doses of anti anxiety meds that wouldnt harm me unless i consume the whole bottle. I took 1 mg more than normal. Dont attack me). I got him to be more specific in his choice of break up methods the next week after texting to let him know I wrote a 7 page goodbye letter and how he has come out of this looking like a psychopath.

Is it an INFP thing? When someone hurts me or angers me and I'm trying to speak it's a lot of ums or long pauses. But hand me a pen or a keyboard and fill me will righteous rage...you cant stop me. If I know anything at all about you then you will receive a paragraph like you are reading right now filled with oddly observational criticism, I will hit upon at least one thing your sensitive about and end it all with a guilt trip so strong only the Catholically trained can weather it well.

I think he was afraid of the letter because he had been receiving the texts but not replying. He responded pretty quickly after that. After days of contradicting actions, trains of thought that burst into flames as it derailed and red string theory memes he finally told me that his decision to take a break, reassure me and then dump me in such an abrupt manner on a workday, twice btw, was because he really hadn't thought about it...

Now this is going to sound strange but I am so glad my exhusband had been abusive because it taught me control. Otherwise I would have hit him. Who does that?! Im 99% sure he wasnt lying because he's a blunt INTJ and he explained his incomprehensible thought process earlier and I've had previous experience with his type of obliviousness. He really didnt mean to hurt me, he doesnt have any social circle to speak of so when planned this whole thing his feedback was a crowd of 1.

But I saved the best for last. He appears to genuinely like me and really doesnt want to lose me. He wants to be friends...and my dumb ass said yes. With a caveat that the second he starts dating I'm out. I dont do lover to friends. I'm possessive and wont share. So as long as he stays single I'll be his friend. I know I'm dumb. I know I'm just going to be hurt by another display of thoughtlessness from him. But except for the week of hell I've been truly happy with him until I got sick. He's a jerk. I deserve better. But did you know, that INFP can be shallow too. I didnt until i met him. He is so pretty (in my eyes, he is definitely not to everyone's taste) and 7 years younger and he picked me 2.5 years ago. I am not pretty. Hard marriage, lifetime of depression, rather read another chapter than apply a layer of makeup, etc. but he eavesdrop me talking to my work friend and liked what he heard and asked me out.

God I'm dumb. Wow. I'm so sorry. It just happened today and I needed to let it out and when it started I tried another forum to get perspective from similar wired people as my boyfriend so I could do whatever was best for him and some responses were productive and informative if a tad blunt. One or two tried with all their might to be kind and I love them for that. The rest can burn in hell. I know I'm what people consider an "unhealthy" version of my type but I've just been considering myself a survival INFP. I think we all get broken a lot thanks to our inner compass. And when we build ourselves back up again our structure gains or loses new aspects. My corners are sharper, and someone broke my glasses so things arent clear all the time and when my belief in human goodness broke off I wasnt able to find all the pieces but it's still there. I'm still here. And now I will shut up. Sorry again. Still gonna post it though! :p

[milkybonya]

Ahhh Milky I hope you're having a good last week! It's unfortunate you can't do more during your last week but I'm sure packing is very time consuming and saying good bye is so important! I hope your flight home goes smoothly too btw!! When I studied abroad I had a layover in turkey which took me in the wrong direction from getting back home so it ended up being like a 12 hour flight home when it could've been 8 😭 it wasn't very fun 😭 I'm sure it'll be really long coming home all the way from Korea. I hope you're able to sleep well or stay entertained~

I have exciting news! Or well it isn't that exciting but I've really started learning Korean now! I was doing it very casually earlier, but now I've installed the Korean keyboard and I'm trying to write little mini letters to Kingdom all in my own Korean! I used to solely use a translator even for short messages bc I couldn't spell or anything 😭 but I'm taking my duolingo more seriously and I'm actually making a lot of progress! I was able to tell Kingdom that I love them and introduce myself but I also did more complex things (at least imo LOL) like say their songs are cool~ I felt so proud of myself hehe one of the members who speaks English cheered my message where I told him I was going to write out a short message to him in Korean and then I did it and I'm just 🥰 Dann is our polyglot king so for him to cheer me on (literally) was so special. This might be a silly question, but what was your favorite word/phrase that you learned while in Korea??? Like it made you feel cool to know it or you were proud of yourself for learning it. I wanna feel cool too hehe 😎 Milky는 멋있습니다 😎

And now, comments on the smau 🤩 why is no one commenting on sunwoo's destroyed can??? 😭😭 It was just in there and everyone was like yep nothing to see here LOL but I mean it is fair that reader not liking rapunzel is a CRIME that's one of my favorites 😭😭😭 and like YES I'm biased bc she has a reptile but STILL I uwu over her and Flynn's romance so like.. I love it. Also reader calling Younghoon a hag LOL I love that they are Savage 🤩 also Eric is so funny like "I'm just covering my arms so you won't fall for me" ITS TRUE THO??? Eric is unofficially my bias wrecker with sunwoo (idk why I say unofficially like.. They always have my attention when watching mvs jfjdsj) and I WOULD fall in love with him don't test me 😭 I'm excited for changmin to come into things~ it'll be so cute, I know it!! And pls slow burn is the best 😭 I'm sooooo excited 🤩 you're going to make my heart yearn for love I just know it jdjsj

Oh and Im glad seeing treasure was so fun!! I'm sure it was heartbreaking to see only 10 of them up there :(( I'm just glad they were still glowing and full of energy for you 🥰 I hope your sunburn is doing better by the way!! I'm sure it is by now since it's been a while since you responded, but I hope it wasn't too painful for the first few days! I haven't gotten a sunburn in ages thankfully but all that does is attest to me never going outside LOL what songs did they perform?? Do you have any pictures?? I'd love to see them 🤩

Sending you lots of love!! Here's a Stalin pic for you hehe he crawled into my banana flavored candle (we call it the banandle) and did a "banana split" LOL he smelled like banana after I took him out lol he's so silly~ love you!

okay tumblr. pls dont delete my reply to my bestie's ask this time. there i'm manifesting that it won't be deleted >:O i was so mad it has taken me days to come back and reply T-T

but even though i was a bit busy packing during my last week, i still had a lot of fun and squeezed a few things in ! also,,,, the universe just aligned and i ended up getting accepted for kard's comeback showcase, which was 3 days before my flight,, and again by luck i was front row! kard are actually my ults and finally meeting them after 6 years and their 2 year hiatus meant to world to me T-T and then each member gave a polaroid away to someone in the crowd and i received Jseph's T--T so insane..

but layovers are confusing and the worst ㅎㅁㅎ that's why i feel so lucky we found a flight without one! so even if it was long and rough, we at least were not so confused <3

waHHH you're learning korean?! i'm so proud T-T learning a language takes a lot, especially when the country you live in doesn't speak it, and i'm especially touched that kingdom have become a motivation for you to learn this new language :")

ah! rather than learning any big cool phrases, i found learning smaller things like how to greet a restaurant owner or store worker goodbye cool. ah but!! i find it interesting that to ask if someone has eaten, you say have you eaten rice? (밥을 먹었어요?) rather than have you eaten food? (음식을 먹었어요?) because rice is such an important part of the korean diet that rice is the equivalent of food and vice versa :D

p.s. Kelsey 씨도 멋있어용~

omg the smau :(( i wanna say thank you for always commenting on it even though it's so messy and slow aH i appreciate you saying you like the slow though!! now that Changmin has finally been introduced officially, i wonder what you'll think :O

seeing treasure as 10 was so good definitely!!!! even though Mashidam were gone, the rest of them did so well <33 and you're so sweet ahh the sunburn healed quickly !

(i figured out why tumblr deleted my reply to your ask--the treasure festival photos didn't save to the ask properly and it ruined everything T-T so imma just direct message them to you hehe)

STALIN IS SO CUTE AND TINY IN THAT CANDLE I COULD CRY!! also omg i love banana scent/flavouring 🥺 so i just know i would live the banandle (i love the name) as much as Stalin hehe,,

i love you and Stalin so much and hope you have a good weekend!! ♡

[laterzgators]

How the gang would be like in modern times.

Kinda basing this off of texts I have with my friends because I get reminding everyday that my old friend group (kinda still my friend group.) are like the gang.

————

Ponyboy

He would have like an iPhone 6 in 2020. And he would be so upset about it. But he wouldn’t complain cause his brother didn’t have money for him to have an iPhone 11 or something.

He uses every platform to text. He probably only texts like Johnny and sometimes Dally.

Johnny and him would FT for hours and during them be like “look what I sent you.” And then proceeded to a meme.

Still a whiny baby boy but 2020 edition

Didn’t pay attention to politics cause he isn’t voting so he has no say. :/

Would probably watch anime- but like mainstream.

Has two instagram accounts one for public people he knew and a secret one to post what he wanted cause Darry probably looked into his phone-

Tries to show Darry how to use a smartphone. Darry won’t understand it. But he tried.

Track team until COVID hit 🙄

Hated virtual learning. HATED IT.

Especially when Darry didn’t have work that day he would peep into Soda and Pony’s room to see him on his desk on a call.

Pony putting his arm down shooing him away. “Darry...I’m in class please shh.” “Don’t worry bout me I’m just listening. Making sure these teachers actually are teaching ya.”

Somehow went brain dumb with this type of learning some days so when a teacher would ask him to answer something he would mute and turn off the camera or leave the call.

He was happy when he did know the answer a certain day.

• Having to text Johnny or Two bit to join a class cause the teacher was doing attendance.

—

Johnny

Texts Ponyboy and Dally pretty evenly. Though Pony would start being whiny when he didn’t answer. Johnny also probably had an older phone like an iPhone 6 or se maybe even an LG but he wouldn’t complain. He was just fine with having a phone. At least it worked.

Has a whole Instagram account about memes. Pony probably helps manage it.

Watches anime with Pony cause he finds it interesting. Does he understand what’s going on? No not at all but if Pony likes it then it’s okay.

Does really like Naruto though-

He hates school. It’s bad enough he skipped it most days. But now ITS AT HOME SO HE HAD NO EXCUSE TO NOT DO IT!

He would usually join the zoom calls but he kept his camera off and was on mute. His parents were probably arguing-

Some days he could be with Pony at his house and did his zooms from there.

Pony spamming him to join the class.

Pony: “Johnny Mr Fullb-“

Johnny: “I’m about to join just be patient pony.”

Dally sent him a nude once and he was SCARED. Dally used social media for that purpose but we will get more into that later-

He apologized a lot btw-

FT calls were fun cause he would put his phone in a certain position and do work and Pony being high on adrenaline would run around his room and you could see it on camera. It was funny.

—

Dallas

Where do I even start for this man....

TAKES FREAKING A MILLION NUDES LIKE IM NOT EVEN KIDDING ITS GROSS

Poor Johnny once got sent one on accident.

He is still traumatized

Virtual women and real women double bonus for him. He would text or dm one chick and be asking a girls number physically at the same time.

Mans gotta multitask-

Bully people on the internet.

Mainly pony for some reason. He did it playfully but Pony would get upset so quickly-

Pony.boy_curtis posted a picture. Caption: Read this poem at school and I’ve been vibing with it.

Comments: @Dal_winSton: Haha THATS dumb. (And more spam of him that includes 😀 that emoji.)

People would call him an eboy and he didn’t like that. He was just edgy in his own way.

Stole a iPhone 11 Pro so that’s how he has this phone.

GC with the whole gang existence and he was like “This is dumb we see eachother everyday.”

He was a weird teen-

—

Sodapop

My manz always texted Ponyboy when he was to lazy to speak.

Texted a lot of people cause he was that guy. But mainly Steve, Sandy (when they were still a thing.), Darry, and Pony.

His IG was filled with nice pics of him and girls just commenting about how handsome he was. He got annoyed of it at a point and turned off the comment section.

Probably had tiktok and made Pony get it.

Had a free subscription of Spotify and my boy loved his music.

Texting pony is like.: “Hey could you tell Darry that I got the eggs he needed earlier.” Pony never told him. Darry got home with a carton of eggs and started yelling that they wasted money on extra eggs. And Pony stood there after hours of finally looking at the text and would just back up.

Random girls dming asking if he was single.

It made him uncomfortable.

But Steve would grab his phone and say random things to the girls and they’d leave him alone.

He didn’t understand Pony’s memes but liked them cause they were on his page.

He or Darry probably asked later on what it meant.

“Uh-huh.” Is the response after Pony took an hour explaining it.

Still didn’t get it.

Followed every single person he knew or liked on Instagram or any platform.

“PONY CAN I USE YOUR HOTSPOT MY INTERNET ISNT WORKING!!!”

Pony just yelled back sure.

—

Darry

You thought Soda was bad nah Darry is a full on Karen-

Had probably had a flip phone until 2018

Loved Karen memes. Pony would see him liking them on fb and he’d just LAUGH.

Yelling at Pony to help him with his phone.

Pressed the wrong buttons all the time.

Probably had an LG-

DIDNT get texting 🤦‍♀️

Telling Pony not to talk to strangers on the internet.

Would have Rants on Facebook.

He pays for cable even though no one in that house used the Tv except him.

Would be so confused on the GC

“IF YOU ARE GONNA GO OUT WITH JOHNNY PUT ON YOUR MASK PONY!”

In the GC: Two Bit: Calm down Jamal dont pull out the nine.

Darry: Who is Jamal and what do you mean by pull out the nine??

Pony: PFT- CHILE I-

Darry: WAIT I SEARCHED IT UP IN THE GOOGLE DO NOT SAY INAPPROPRIATE THINGS IN THIS CHAT TWO BIT MATTHEWS!!!

It’s scary seeing him in our times-

—

Two Bit Matthews.

MEME LORD

All the memes all the jokes he understands it.

He is an intellectual.

Was barley passing school. He was usually on his phone in class.

He probably also had tiktok.

Dmed girls all the timeeee-

Hey good looking

You have been blocked by this user

WHA-

Yeah he didn’t realize girls didn’t like that

Had a whole page dedicated to memes because obviously.

DIDNT join virtual school at allllll

He was busy playing roblox like the cool kid he was.

He is legit a 9 year old-

Hated wearing masks but he did it.

Still hung out with Pony and the gang even with Corona.

He spammed the GC at like 4 a.m when he was super sleepy but still awake and asked all kinds of questions.

“If we call an orange orange can we call orange fruit?” Confusion.

He was something else-

—

Steve

Texted Soda during work.

Also texted Evie during work.

Google was his new best friend.

He used google a lot he just did.

Only had Instagram cause Sodapop begged.

He got used to it after a while.

Would get Ponyboy in trouble whenever he posted something that he knew could get him in trouble

Would post pictures of Darry doing random things and say “Superman” in the caption. LOL

Used LMAO a lottt for some reason

On the GC if someone was spamming he’d just say SHUT UP. Like a lot but he would.

He never wore his mask and if he did it was on his chin.

Pictures of chocolate cake.

That’s probably it lol.

——

That’s all. I hoped you liked it. Sorry I’m posting so late lol-

[a-very-queer-space-kid]

so here's what's happening...

(not edited)

About a week ago I sent a message to my doctor asking if we would be able to start the top surgery process - by which I mean getting my medical clearance/recommendation letter so that I can start setting up consultations (specifically one that I've had my eye on for close to 6 years now). When I started seeing this doctor almost a year ago, we had a conversation and I had asked if I would be able to choose my surgeon or if the clinic I go to had a certain person in the area that they would try to send me to, and he told me that I would be able to choose, so I've been working under that impression for nearly a year at this point.

anyway, my doctor got back to me and said "I'm referring you for top surgery consult, wait for a call from so and so for more information" and I was a little confused, because I dint ask for a consultation set up, I wanted a letter, which he said they would take care of in the message, but I sort of shrugged it off, maybe it was awkward wording choice. After all, I had mentioned wanting to discuss my own plans and goals and expectations with my doctor either over message or during our next in person appointment, because we never really got to have an in depth conversation about all that, so he couldn't mean what I thought he meant, because there was no communication.

after a week of waiting and silence, I finally got the phone call today. "hi this is so and so. blah blah blah, you've been sort up with a bilateral mastectomy consultation with this doctor at this place at this time." what? Thats not what I wanted, that isn't what I asked for. I don't know how we got to this point, but im super confused.

And I should be happy, because I have a top surgery consult on September 14th, presumably with someone who will accept my insurance because I can't figure out any other reason why they would set me up with this person period, but I'm super uneasy about all of this. I did some cursory research about this doctor, and he's a plastic surgeon who doesn't specialize in top surgeries (as far as I can tell, it wasn't on his list anyway) and I've only seen one result so far, and im glad that the person is really happy with their results, but it wasn't particularly what I was looking for, and I can't be sure how consistent this man is because I've only seen one picture so far.

Like I should be so happy because if I go this route with this surgeon, it couldn't be easier for me, this is like, a golden ticket straight to everything I've been waiting for for the last decade, but I don't know if I want to go to this surgeon. I'ver had a plan in place for the last 6 years, and the idea of changing it up because someone else thinks this will be better or easier or whatever is throwing me off.

and yet at the same time, im afraid of telling my doctor that this isn't what I thought the plan would be and that id like to do things my own way, because im afraid the gate will close and I won't be able to have this chance again. Logically I know none of this is true, and that the clinic that I go to goes out of their way to not gatekeeper, and is really helpful for people like me, but im so scared that showing any kind of resistance will tell them 'oh, he doesn't deserve this, he isn't ready', because they haven't given me my medical recommendation letter, I don't have that in my possession and I don't want to lose that. Again, I know that if I bring up my concerns to the doctor, chances are he'll be fine and will give me my letter to go where I want, its just super throwing me off to be railroaded like this, even if it wasn't intentional.

(and its my own complexes talking, I know that, cuz I've already had this conversation with my therapist)

and im thinking about messaging my doctor, and telling him like 'hey I finally got that call and have the consult set up (I'm still gonna go to that because its already set up for my btw) but I would also like to consult with a few other surgeons just to see what all my options are, if you'd be able to get me a copy fo my medical recommendation letter', I think that's the safest option for me at this point.

who knows, im just venting at this point because something that is supposed to be the best thing to happen to me so far has quickly become a major source of stress and I am just figuring out how I want to proceed here

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

[chvrrys]

( cisfemale | she/her | bahar şahin ) —— isn’t that CHERILYN ‘CHERRY’ VALENTINE? yeah that is them, sitting there at the RAVENCLAW table with those other SIXTH years. when sybill looks into that crystal ball of hers, she sees lipstick kisses on dinner napkins, the bittersweet smell of dark chocolate, rolled up sleeves of an oversized cable-knit sweater, ornate old fashioned rings on each finger, a bouquet of wilting flowers, and the smoke left behind a blown-out candle. anyway i’ve heard they’re pretty ARTICULATE, CONDEMNATORY, and SERAPHIC. apparently they’re NEUTRAL and HALFBLOOD but i’m sure that’s not related.

tw: death, neglect.

basics

full name: cherilyn emiri valentine, originally born cherilyn emiri yavuz

nicknames: cherry, cher.

birthday: 16 october, 1959

sun/moon/rising sign: libra sun, cancer moon, virgo rising

age: seventeen

place of birth: ferrara, province of ferrara emilia-romagna, italy

gender: cisfemale

sexual orientation: pansexual

occupation: student, hopeful future architect & animated portraits artist or translator

parents: selene & evangeline valentine (adopted mothers), osmen & melike yavuz (birth parents)

languages spoken: fluent in turkish, italian, french & english

accent: barely there northern italian, but mostly a combination of estuary english, east anglian english and queen's english

tidbits

miss cherilyn valentine’s story began on the 16th of october in northern italy. born to a turkish wizard father and muggle mother, magic was never discussed in the household and thus resulting in cherry having no idea that part of her world existed.

death tw it wasn’t until the tragic accident that resulted in her fathers death that she realized she was different, having screamed so loud when she found him that every window shattered and every book flew off of their bookshelf. cherrys father was her best friend.  end of tw

neglect tw after the accident, cherry’s mom blamed her for it and eventually left. she would say things about how cherry was the cause and how she was a freak and could never love her again. it was a lot for a 5 year old to handle and eventually she was placed in an orphanage. end of tw

cherry was the third daughter adopted in the valentine family and most of her memories consist of the siblings she grew up with – all around the same age and all special. 

her adopted moms are witches themselves, having attended hogwarts and adopting the girls knowing they’d be doing the same. they grew up in a loving household, always told they could achieve anything. they even helped them understand where they’re from and integrate their past lives as many ways as possible. for cherry, it included becoming fluent in italian and all the other languages that were native to her siblings.

cherry is what one would consider the mom friend. she’s incredibly organized and always plays on the side of caution when it came to her siblings. 

however, she is also the biggest hopeless romantic. she falls in love with things, ideas, and people quickly and gets hurt just the same. she believes in all the story tales and happily ever afters. however !!! this doesn’t mean she’s naive, it just means she’s hopeful. 

she’s a very lovey person, her love language is physical touch so she’s always expressing herself through big gestures and body language. 

she’s incredibly charismatic and magnetic, always making new friendships and wanting to investigate the castle. she loves mysteries and spends a lot of her downtime looking at runes. 

cherry is an artist. she grew up painting but found her talents best in sculpture and other architecture. wandering the castle is her favorite hobby and nothing the different statues around. 

libra sun: libras are known for being social and charming, and when the sun is in libra, they shine down upon everyone they meet. their charisma is magnetic, and they thrive in a group. they love to share ideas and figure out a balanced approach to everything. tor them, balance is key.

cancer moon: cancer is ruled by the moon, so to have cancer as your actual moon sign makes you incredibly empathetic, sympathetic, compassionate and even psychic when it comes to tuning in to your, and others', emotions. you are very sensitive personally.

virgo rising: you are likely to view the world through the lens of mental analysis, with a view toward organization.you have strong critical faculties and need to find practical outlets for your skills, talents and abilities.typically humble and at times self-effacing, you are likely be more concerned with being useful than being recognized.

wanted connections

bring her sisters/siblings !!!! rahhhh !!!! lol here’s the wc: the four valentine siblings are thick as thieves – even if they may all have been sorted into different houses: one in gryffindor, one in hufflepuff, one in ravenclaw (cherry), and one in slytherin. all having been adopted, they came from nearly different worlds thus making them different blood, but siblings and witches nonetheless. if it hadn’t been for the same surname ( and that the four of them would do anything for each other ), no one would’ve even realized they were siblings – that’s how different they are. this is incredibly open to interpretation and any fc is open since they were all adopted !

someone she has an unspeakable crush on: miss girl is a hopeless romantic. this could be anyone idk im open to any interpretation !

an ex on bad or awkward terms: the two ended badly or now its very awkward that they try to avoid each other as best as they can. they would never get back together, but they know each other so well that its almost weird for them to suddenly not speak. could eventually turn into a friendship or something :~)

something toxic bc im evil: toxic relationship? toxic friendship? someone not good for cherry but she’s too blinded by her love for them that she doesn’t notice it.

friends :~): while she has many siblings who have been her built in friends, cherry is pretty different from them and needs someone who is like her and understands her. i’m thinking a pair that you wouldn’t want to mess with or come across because they’re always in their own world. could be some sexual tension btw the besties bc are you really friends with someone if there aint or is it just me 😀

idk help !!!!!!!!

[alwaysanotherrainbow]

my boyfriend never texts first

Remus just wants to not be the first one to send a message every once in a while. That’s not too much to ask, right?

relationship: romantic remrom, background remy and emile (also romantic)

warnings: major character death, extended mourning (secondary warnings- brief discussion of religious holidays, brief underage drinking mention, a lot of all-caps) notes: unrelated, human, hs/college au. virgil, emile, and remy are here too. If you need anything in the secondary warnings (or one of those latter three characters) edited out, please let me know and I can put that up for you!

____________________________________________________

Remus always texted him first. Always. It didn’t matter the situation, didn’t matter the time date place name face. Who what when where why. It first started when he texted hi roman :) when they first got phones; for whatever reason, Roman just never texted first. Either he’d call or they’d talk in person.

No matter. Remus could cope.

May 1:

8:37 PM tody i saw you by my locker 8:39 PM *today 8:42 PM why didnt you say hi?

May 2:

9:30 PM a teacher talked to me today 9:30 PM wanted to talk about how i’m doing after 9:52 PM well you know. he’s a sick bastard

Really, it wasn’t too much to ask for, was it? He just wanted to see him text first once in a while! May 7:

3:32 PM: by the way idk if you got this last time 3:36 PM: my class ring size is the medium 3:44 PM: hopefully you order it by the deadline :P 4:03 PM: no idea when the deadline is 4:20 PM: bLAZE IT 4:24 PM: sorry i have like 0 money so i got it from the consignment shop 4:31 PM: i hope you like synthetic rubies!! leaving them with ur dad 10:40 PM: update. i cried for four hours with your dad.

June 2:

7:30 AM: gRaDuAtIoN dAy!!! 7:32 AM: there’s cookies in the reception menu 7:35 AM: snickerdoodles your favorite [eyes] 10:02 AM: i’m getting some for u 10:05 AM: [kissy face] 7:40 PM: the announcement was Weird 7:43 PM: anyways i have the snickerdoodles (Remus couldn’t go over to where Roman was staying, so he left them in the living room. He knew Roman would appreciate them. Hopefully he’d come over (wait, probably not, given...))

Well, actually, he could understand why he never texted first. June 11:

12:14 PM: roMAN 12:16 PM: [Attachment: Remus_Picani-Kleitman_Acceptance_Letter.pdf] 12:18 PM: YEAHHHH 12:24 PM: I’m sure you got in too SEND ME YOURS WHEN YOU GET IT 12:32 PM: WE MIGHT SHARE A ROOM YEA 12:35 PM: [Attachment: celebration.jpg]

Everyone was probably saying that he ought to just move on, but to be honest, he couldn’t... Actually, to be honest, no-one had told him to move on to his face yet. In fact, everyone was surprised he was doing so well, given how bad the circumstances were! The situation was stressing him out so much, even his dads were gently advising him to rethink things. (Well, that was part of the territory with one of them being a therapist and the other being a barista.)

“I got y’all some kouign-amann from the cafe,” said Dad, putting it down on the counter. His shirt had SLEEP scrawled on it with a Sharpie; it was the one that Remus had made for him as a joke. He still wore it. Huh.

“Sweetie, what’s a queen amahn?” asked Papa.

“It’s a... er, it’s like a... this is kinda like a croissant that had dreams of a muffin tin and salted caramel. One for you, babe.... then one for Doodlebug-”

“Can I leave some for Roman?” asked Remus.

They exchanged a glance.

“Of course you can,” said Papa with a smile. “Your candle’s on the table. Also, I got the news about being accepted into university? Good job, kiddo. You know, that was your father’s alma mater.”

“Are you sure you want to go to school right away after...? No problem taking a gap year.”

Papa glared at Dad. “Be nice.”

“I’m sorry, Remus, it’s just...” Dad put down his coffee. “If you’re not ready, if you need more time-”

"I’m sure,” said Remus with a grin, trying to get rid of what he just remembered. “Trust me.”

“Please find a good way to put away the snickerdoodles, they’ve been there since last week!” shouted Papa.

June 12:

12:12 AM: its twelve twelve make a wish 12:15 AM: hey when does your phone bill go out? 12:20 AM: im just saying that would Explain some things 12:22 AM: i know your dad pays Everything like a year in advance 12:34 AM: tell him i say hi 12:34 AM: 12:34 MAKE A WISH

July 12:

3:30 PM: guess who’s a double major in bio and theatre!! 3:32 PM: marine biology babey 3:53 PM: it’s good for the SOUL 4:04 PM: this cute octopus reminded me of you by the way 4:10 PM: [Attachment: for_roman]

August 14:

6:24 PM: moving in is the Worst 6:32 PM: by the way i got a single 6:35 PM: no roommates 6:41 PM: still have the bunk tho 6:44 PM: also got ur favorite pillo

August 30:

2:12 AM: roman it is like two o’clock in the morning what the Heck are you doing here, 2:15 AM: if u see me wave Hi 2:32 AM: ok >:c 2:42 AM: dont mind Me just studyin on top of the planetarium 3:15 AM: tbh i didn’t even know we go to the same campus? haven’t seen you around or anything 3:17 AM: shit phones gonna di

September 28:

2:20 PM: i failed my test 2:22 PM: idk what to d 2:24 PM: *do

September 29: 7:30 PM: remember that octopus you gave me that eats negative emotions? 7:32 PM: it works!!

October 3:

1:10 PM:  You’d like the theatre program, really 1:15 PM: just so u know they’ve listed your name as an ‘honorary member of the class of’ 1:19 PM: that’s really nice of them. idk if your dad knows

October 23:

9:45 AM: i had to explain one of our inside jokes 8( 9:52 AM: i can’t Explain the deodorant thing that was One Time 9:55 AM: also why i’m called The Duke 9:56 AM: its bc you said it. not my fault 9:58 AM: its still cute pls call me that still 9:59 AM: pancake brunch pancake brunch pancake brunch October 31: 6:12 PM: sun’s down! joyous samhain 6:15 PM: i remember when you sewed me that octopus btw, the one that eats ucky feelings 6:19 PM: how long did it take you to get the laurel sachet into it?? 6:34 PM: also thank you thank you thank you for helping me find a friendly church to celebrate all saints day 6:47 PM: that year was a NIGHTMARE because you forgot to get your white candles and carnelian, and i forgot my holy water, so we were driving around town like Madmen 6:59 PM: it was worth it though 7:03 PM: i left you a script, i think you’ll like it.

November 9:

11:19 PM: i miss you so so much.

November 10:

12:20 AM: ignor this i drank like 12:24 AM: a lot 1:15 AM: i’m sorry i should’ve been with you 1:22 AM: i shouldve been there With You. 1:45 AM: but i wasn’t 2:20 AM: i didn’t know thered be a 4:11 PM: shit i just saw these. Sorry to bother you December 2:

10:10 AM: hey roman, been a bit. yea sorry about last time. too much of the Alcohol 10:13 AM: gonna go over to my parents’ house 1:00 PM: if you wanna come over, you can. dad’s making snickerdoodles and papa’s gonna watch atla (yes i still have that dvd you got me do not @ me it’s with your candles on your table just like everything else) 1:03 PM: that was on the dot, i’m happy.

December 21

8:34 AM: hey, it’s snowing 9:13 AM: couldn’t help leaving you some hot cocoa. and snickerdoodles of course 10:12 AM: i love you Remus went to go help his dads with making breakfast, but by the time everyone was done cleaning and they had finished watching some shitty Hallmark movie, he remembered that he had left his phone upstairs. Going upstairs and looking at it, he felt something in him break.

[2 Unread: Roman <3, bf’s dad]

10:22 AM, Roman <3: Why are you texting this number? 11:15 AM, bf’s dad: Remus, disregard that last, I’m so sorry. I just found his phone and I saw only the recent message first

The phone started ringing. Remus answered it as quickly as he could.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Sanders I didn’t know that someone was actually getting these messages I thought the line was out,” he said within a few seconds before the person on the other side sighed.

“No, it’s quite all right. And Virgil’s all right, by the way, if you prefer. I... I was just looking through his things for the first time. You know, it being a holiday and all... Memories, things like that.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“I just turned the phone back on, I’m getting a lot of messages.”

“Oh.” Remus stared at the wall, trying to come to terms with everything. “Well, I--”

“I’m not going to stop paying for his phone. I’m sorry, I just... I still have his voicemails on it, and I can’t stand the thought of it going offline either.”

“Right, I... I listen to it too.”

“I happened upon the last one he sent to you.”

“You looked at the messages?”

“I only looked over when I stopped getting new ones, but I saw the last question he sent you. For your ring size.”

“Yeah? He asked my ring size so that he could--”

“There’s no easy way to say this, but.. I found something of his. Can you come over?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t, but can you please tell me what it was? Please?”

“I really think I should tell you this in person.”

“Please, Mr. Sanders. Please, I... I can’t manage that.”

He sighed. “All right, Remus. I found an early acceptance letter to SJAU, and... and a ringbox.”

Remus felt his grasp on the phone grow weak. It fell onto the bed, Mr. Sanders’ voice still clear.

“I think he was going to ask for you to....”

“No, we... We were just out of high school, I-- that doesn’t make sense.”

“He always was one for those romantic gestures. There’s some poems here, too. A life-plan. I’m not sure exactly what malacology is, but--”

“Mollusks. Like octopi and squids.. Sorry for cutting you off, what was that?”

“Some of it’s in your handwriting, but one of the entries is ‘ask him’, for the day after... you know.”

God, he could hear his sad smile through the phone. He knew exactly how Mr. Sanders looked right now just talking to him, probably wearing that hoodie that was too big on him, in a dusty room full of things that used to belong to the most vibrant person that Remus had ever met.

But then Roman had died.

He was the most wonderful person, and he had just died.

“I’ll come over to deliver the ring to you. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s... that’s fine. Uh, call my dads first, though. They’re still not convinced I’m doing okay.”

“I understand. I’ll talk to you later, Remus.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sanders.”

The line went dead in his hands.

Remus held himself and wept.

December 28:

12:30 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: Mr. Sanders, would you like to come over for our New Year’s party? 12:34 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: It’s a tradition we had. You don’t have to if you’d rather not. 12:45 PM, Virgil Sanders: I’d love to go.

January 1:

12:00 AM: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 12:05 AM: [Attachment: :)] 12:07 AM: we are all smiling in this photo and for that i think we deserve a hug. 12:10 AM: this rings the most beuatifl thing i’ve ever fuckign seen. thank you,, 12:14 AM: never gonna get rid of it <3 12:16 AM: it looks Good on my finger 12:30 AM: jsyk your dad’s asking my dads for the kouign amann recipe 12:32 AM: thats a pastry, i left those for u a while back 12:39 AM: okay i’m crying a bit but honestly, i love u 12:44 AM: I love you so so so much, Roman

Somewhere out there, whether it was from some wonderful paradise or beyond the veil or even only in wishful thoughts, Remus knew that someone was saying I love you too.

[ad1thi]

sin city (wasn’t made for you)

@imposter-human wrote me this amazing fic that was begging for a sequel, so here it is!

–

this got super long, so beware the read more! also please go through the tags for trigger warnings i don’t wanna accidentally upset anyone. bear in mind this is a serial killer fic, so morality is slightly screwy here

–

“You’re a-” Tony splutters, “this is a -” he stumbles back, hitting the door without realising 

His hands automatically starts fumbling for the knob, but he can’t turn, he can’t tear his eyes away from Bucky- who’s frozen in the motion of scrubbing blood from his shirt

There’s silence as words die in Tony’s throat, save for the jiggling of the lock

“It uh, locks immediately,” Bucky finally says, “i have to release it for you to get out”

“And you’re not going to do that are you,” Tony says, “of course not why would you? I just stumbled onto your murder dungeon you’re not stupid”

Tony sinks to the floor, breathing haphazardly, “I can’t breathe- oh my god I can’t breathe!”

Bucky is over in an instant, crouching and grabbing Tony’s hand to place on his chest

“Can you feel the rise and fall of my chest doll?” Bucky’s free hand is cupping his neck, but Tony has enough range to nod dumbly, “great can you just focus on that for me?”

“Focus on my breathing doll thats it try and follow it”

Tony’s eyes slowly go glassy, and he slumps against Bucky- erratically gasping for air like a fish out of water

Dimly, he can feel Bucky’s fingers against his cheek and hear his voice; but its so far away and Tony’s bed is so close

so he fights the urge to reach his boyfriend, and just, falls

–

Tony wakes up, and he’s on a bed

More accurately, he’s on his bed

Chained to his bed with handcuffs that he and Bucky experimented with a couple of months back and god all the signs were there weren’t they?

The way Bucky kept odd hours, the constant stench of blood that surrounded him, the ways his eyes lit up when Tony talked about the murders in his books

God for the first couple of months the only way to get Bucky excited was Tony describing a murder from one of his books; how could he have been so blind?

Tony pulls at the chains experimentally, but he knows how sturdy the handcuffs are so its a lost cause

And the worst part is, Tony thinks, pulling his knees up and linking his arms under him, I still fucking love him

Absently, he wonders how pathetic it makes him; the fact that Bucky is a bona-fide serial killer and Tony is seriously considering still proposing to him

“You would’ve hit me on the back of the head and straightened me out, but this is what you get for dying in combat honeybear ” Tony says softly into the air and if the fact that he was talking aloud to his dead ex wasn’t a sign that he was going insane; what else was?

The door creaks open, and Tony’s eyes lift to see Bucky holding a tray of food; but his chin stays resting on his knees

The bed shifts slightly as Bucky sits down, and Tony obediently opens his mouth when Bucky nudges a spoon at him

If it wasn’t for the handcuffs and the bright red liquid staining Bucky’s neck; Tony could almost pretend that he was sick and Bucky was looking after him

As opposed to, you know, the reality- which was that Tony was a captive of a serial killer

Bucky lifts up a glass, and cups Tony’s chin to gingerly serve him water- but he doesn’t touch him otherwise

He keeps his hands to himself, folded on his lap; and his head cocked; silently waiting for Tony to say something

“So,” Tony says finally, because it is a well documented fact that silence makes Tony uncomfortable, “how did this whole thing begin?”

He gestures vaguely at the blood coating Bucky, and Bucky must’ve not realised he still had blood on it because he lifts his fingers to his neck and looks surprised when it comes back red

“Shit,” he curses, before looking back at Tony with wide eyes, “I’m sorry I thought I’d gotten it all off before I came in”

“I walked in on your murder dungeon Buck,” Tony says; the nickname slipping out, “I don’t think a bit of blood will startle me”

“Plus,” he lifts his hands to clink the chains, before re-wrapping them around his feet, “ ‘s not like I can go anywhere”

Bucky winces, “I’m sorry about the chains, they’re just a precaution. I didn’t, I didn’t want you to run before I had a chance to explain myself”

Tony snorts, “I am your captive audience”

The corner of Bucky’s lips curl up; but he otherwise looks genuinely apologetic

It’s funny, Tony always assumed that murderers were sociopaths; but Bucky is fucking with his empirical data

“The first time was um, when I was 17 maybe 18?” Tony’s face must show his surprise because Bucky hastens to explain, “yeah there was a girl in my class, Nat? She’d been having some trouble with the guy who lived across hall from her and her mom, and so I uh- I took care of it”

“My hero,” Tony says and Bucky rubs the back of his self consciously

“I don’t-” Bucky starts and then stops, “I don’t mindlessly kill. I wanted you to know that. The system is broken, and there are so many fucked up people who get away with shit every single day and I just -” he breaks off again, and looks up at Tony imploringly

“I mean to lie to you, I really did start out in forensics,” Bucky says- and it must speak to how fucked up Tony’s heart is that it still flutters for the man in front of him, “but I just watched Stevie catch so many people who would slip through the cracks of our justice system and I -”

“The day after I killed Mr. Pierce, was the first day that Nat came to school without bruises,” Bucky reaches out for Tony; his face dropping when Tony instinctively flinches back, “I know its wrong. I know murder is wrong. But how can someone that stopped a 16 year old from being raped be so bad?”

“I don’t mindlessly kill,” Bucky says again, “but I do, kill that is. Everyone that I kill, deserves to die”

“A modern age Robin Hood,” Tony says lightly because he isn’t sure to do with all the information he just received, “just more murder-y”

Bucky cracks a real smile at that, and Tony thinks to himself im so fucked

//

It’s a couple of years after they’ve skipped town to avoid Detective Rogers (its weird calling him that, I always knew him as Stevie, Bucky had said once) when Tony abruptly turns to Bucky and says “I want to join”

It wasn’t easy getting used to the fact that his husband had a body count of 44 (and climbing) but Bucky hadn’t lied

Everyone that he’d ever killed, deserved to die

Loan sharks, rapists, men who preyed on children, women who drugged old pensioners- every single person that Bucky had killed had been arrested but acquitted on a technicality

Tony had to quit his day job, and he wrote under an alias and posted the work to Pepper anonymously so she wouldn’t be implicated in any way; and he and Bucky were married in secret and their marriage certificate locked up- but it was worth it

Bucky was worth it

6 years on and Tony still loves him so fiercely he thinks he may die from it, which is why he says “I want to join”

Bucky looks up from where he’s meticulously cleaning the bullets of any fingerprints and holding them into his pistol, mouth hanging slightly open

Tony chuckles and presses his fingers to his husband’s chin; pushing his mouth closed and leaning in for a feather-light kiss

“You’ll catch flies that way, Buck” he says, before leaning back and spreading his hands out, “well?”

Bucky’s face scrunches up, “Why?”

Tony shrugs, “you get so, excited after a kill and I just, I wanna experience that. That rush you feel”

“Plus,” he says- slipping on some gloves and taking the pistol from Bucky, “I’m a crack shot”

He lifts the gun over Bucky’s head; closes his eyes, kisses Bucky- and shoots

Bucky breaks the kiss to look over his shoulder at where there’s a perfect hole though the hole of the woman in the painting and turns back to Tony with a wicked smile, “oh darling you’ve been holding out on me”

–

Tony’s standing over the dead body, gun still pointing at his forehead; when Bucky walks over

“Doll,” he says quietly, “doll we gotta move before the police arrive”

Tony turns to him with wide eyes, and when he shifts his Bucky’s arms- Bucky can feel his cock at half mast against his thighs

“You never told me it felt like that,” Tony whispers; his voice dropping to a rich baritone voice, “I mean- you talked about it, but I never realised it felt like that”

There’s something akin to awe in Tony’s voice, and he can’t seem to look away from the body strewn across the floor

Bucky has to hand it to him, he shot the guy directly between the eyes- and there’s barely any blood splatter

Bucky rocks his thigh against Tony’s cock slightly; grinning when he moans, “It feels good doesn’t it?”

Tony nods, bottom lip caught between his teeth

“Doll,” he whispers, “as much as I’d like to stay and help you take care of that here- we gotta skip before the cops get here”

“Stevie got way too close to catching me last time, and orange washes me out”

He holds his hand out for the gun, and Tony clicks on the safety and passes it over

He walks over to the bin in the corner of the room, “you shaved off the serial numbers right?” he calls over his shoulder

“I uh, burned them off with hydrochloric acid,” Bucky turns to look at Tony with raises eyebrows, “its a trick I learnt when I was shadowing the FBI. They can re-create shaved off serial numbers but not when they’re burned off. It’s how the IRA would get away with stolen guns back in the day”

“God I could kiss you right now,” Bucky says- stretching out his hand so Tony will take the hint and join him, “but that’ll just have to wait for when we’re back home”

Tony bypasses his hand and tucks himself under Bucky’s shoulder- grinning when Bucky’s hand slips back his shoulder to palm his ass

“Well then” Tony says, “we better get home fast”

Fin

–

tag list: @theavengays, @sleepyoldchild,  @wintersoldierland, @wecollectnightmares, @starkwannabe, @nightwingingthis, @im-ironman 

btw the tag list is still open if you wanna send me an ask and be added to it, you’ll be automatically tagged in everything i write!!

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 23

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.8k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- a bit longer and i do feel like its awk but thats how its meant to be. i mean the first part with Harry is supposed to be awk a bit and the second part is supposed to be slightly heartbreaking.

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 23 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

Harry drove me home in silence after I gave him my address. I thought he'd propose to go to his place but I remembered that Harry was used to move around and that he was sleeping on people's couches for a while a few years ago. It made me even more curious about him and I realized that Harry was a complex person and that he was special. It made me want to get to know him better.

When we got to my place, he parked and I unbuckled my seat belt before turning to look at him.

"I don't want to talk about it." I just let out low enough to be sure my voice wouldn't be shaking.

He turned his head my way and sent me a fond smile. I held my breath as his eyes roamed on my face and back in my eyes.

"I know."

His voice was soft, understanding, almost resigned. I reached for his hand on his thigh and squeezed his fingers. I was mad at Niall, hurt by his lie, and I wanted to think about something else, spend time with someone else.

"Do you... want to come in?" I asked, shrugging only one shoulder. "Spend the night, maybe?"

He looked surprised and then a bit taken aback but he finally raised his eyebrows at me, holding my hand tighter. His fingers were warm and I couldn't help but realize what I had just proposed but the truth was, I wanted it. I couldn't pretend it wasn't to take my mind off Niall but I didn't do it to spite him.

"Are you sure that it's what you want?" he breathed gently, bending down closer to me.

My eyes dropped to his lips as mine parted.

"Fuck yes I am." I whispered back, making him smirk and then chuckle. "I've been ready for a while."

The few times something sexual had happened between Harry and I, it was incredible. I couldn't lie, those orgasms were amazing and needed, and even when he was the one getting pleasure, I was getting something out of it. The satisfaction to know I was the one making him feel like that was almost as good as the orgasms he gave me.

"I'm pretty sure it's my turn to pay you back." I added as my lips curled.

He kept silent for a few seconds, a smile still on his lips, and I tilted my head, waiting for his reaction.

"Not tonight. Maybe next time." he pointed out, making my heart skip a beat. "Tonight I just..."

He brought two of his fingers on one of my shoulders and let them slide down on the front of my shirt, between my breasts, as his eyes dropped.

"Tonight I just want to feel myself inside you." he continued, looking up to stare in my eyes. "Only if you want to."

He took his fingers back and I suddenly realized I had stopped breathing. My whole body started throbbing and I just swallowed hard, licking my lips. I couldn't hide that I was nervous but I was even more excited and that feeling clearly won over the other. He had seen me naked already, which was probably what I had feared the most, and I couldn't hide that it still scared me. I tried to tell myself that if he hadn't liked what he had seen before, he wouldn't ask for more, right?

"You know I do."

We smiled at each other and he finally followed me inside. I was a bit ashamed of where I lived since I knew what kind of house Harry had while I lived in a 5 rooms apartment but when I opened the door, the familiar scent reached my nose and I sighed low. I didn't know if it was relief or well-being but either way, it felt good to be back. I hadn't stepped foot in my place for months and although I enjoyed spending time at Niall's, all my stuff was here and it made it my special place.

I let my purse fall next to the couch and turned around swiftly to face Harry. I didn't dare turning the lights on but I could see his face perfectly with the lights from outside.

"I had a good time, it was a nice date." I pointed out in a whisper as his hands reached for my waist.

I ran my tongue on my bottom lip before biting it gently. He took an other step closer and I could feel the warmth from his body emanating against mine as my whole body started throbbing again. I brought my hands to the bottom of my shirt but he shook his head slowly.

"No, please, let me."

I gave in and nodded, moving my arms up as he grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head. His hands reached to my skirt and he pulled on it as I stood in front of him, motionless. It took me a few seconds but I finally stepped out of my skirt, moving back and extending my hand to him. I was only in my underwear in front of him while he was still completely dressed but he reached for the back of his shirt to take it off, letting it fall next to mine on the floor. He took my hand and I walked back until my room. I knew this apartment by heart and I didn't hit anything even if i was walking backwards and in the dark. My room was even darker but I blinked a few times, trying to get used to the darkness. I searched for Harry's pants, fumbling to find his zipper with one hand as the other pressed against his cock.

I never thought I'd be surprised by a guy's dick but I had to admit that Harry's was bigger than any other man's I had been with. I knew it sounded weird but it made me even more nervous until I felt his parted lips press against mine. His fingers reached for the straps of my bra, moving them down gently. His fingertips brushed against my shoulder and it made me moan in his mouth.

"I feel like I haven't fucked in a decade." I whispered, feeling his lips curl at my words.

"Me too."

I knew that he had had opportunities and I was scared that he would be disappointed after having sex with me. Maybe he was going to regret not going out more during the tour to meet people. Maybe he was going to realize the wait wasn't worth it. I tried to push that thought away and unzipped his pants, trying to push them down quickly. One of his hands reached for mine and squeezed them gently.

"No rush, okay?"

His warm breath weirdly made me shiver as I nodded slowly. He pulled his pants down and I reached over his boxers to rub my hand gently against his cock, making him groan.

"I've been thinking about your hands on me constantly after that time in the woods."

I chuckled against his lips and closed my eyes as I pulled his boxers down. Knowing that Harry Styles had enjoyed the hand job I gave him to the point of thinking about it continuously was risible, almost absurd, but I knew he was sincere and it made my heart skip a beat.

His hand slipped in my panties and I held my breath as two of his fingers slid on my clit before slipping inside me, making me whimper despite myself. One of my hand grabbed his dick hard, pressing my fingers on it, while my other hand gripped his hair.

"I could get addicted to this." I admitted in a murmur.

I thought he'd smirk again or laugh but he only pushed his fingers deeper and I pushed on his head to kiss him more.

"Yea?" he breathed in-between kisses. "I hope you do."

Slowly, he took his hand away and bent down, bringing my panties with him. When he moved up again, his hands ran against my legs and up my waist and arms until he cupped my face. As I always do when I stand naked in front of someone, I started getting self-conscious but Harry just kissed me, brushing his lips on my jaw and down my neck.

"I love your body."

My first thought was that he was lying but when his arms slithered around me, I tried to only focus on the way his fingers unclasped my bra. It fell between us on the floor and both his hands reached for my breasts. His thumbs rubbed against my nipples and I felt them get hard suddenly at his touch.

"You wanna lay down?"

It took me half a second and I was laying on the bed, watching him pull his boxers all the way down. He moved locks of his hair behind his ears and I realized how gorgeous he was, standing naked in front of me, only illuminated by the lights from the street. I was excited, horny, and I wanted him, but I couldn't help but feel like something was not right, like I didn't belong here with him. I didn't want to think about Niall at this specific moment but I did and I had to swallow hard to make sure I wouldn't tear up.

As if on cue, I heard the sound of my cellphone coming from the living room, in my purse, and I knew it was Niall. Ironically, the ringtone I had picked for him was a mix of different parts of One Direction songs that he had solos and when Harry moved on top of me, I could hear Niall's voice sing the first part of 'Olivia'. I tried not to think about it but I heard it all and held my breath, unable to focus on Harry's touch.

"Remember the day we were giving up When you told me I didn't give you enough And all of your friends were saying I'd be leaving you She's lying in bed with my t-shirt on Just thinking how I went about it wrong This isn't the stain of a red wine, I'm bleeding love

Please believe me, don't you see The things you mean to me? Oh I love you, I love you I love, I love, I love Olivia."

My phone stopped ringing immediately after and I tried to remember if Niall was aware of my ringtone or not. He couldn't have done that on purpose, right?

"Liv, are you okay?"

I got out of my thoughts and my eyes roamed on Harry's face close to mine. I moved my knees up and my heart skipped a beat when I felt his now hard cock press between my legs.

"Please Harry, fuck me."

I knew it was wrong to ask him that right after thinking about my best friend but I couldn't help myself. I wanted Harry, there was no doubt about it, but if he could take my mind off of Niall for a while and fuck my pain away, it was simply a bonus.

"I thought you'd want.."

"No." I answered gently, shaking my head. "Just fuck me."

I didn't want to take my time. I didn't want to go slow and I didn't want to 'make love'. I wanted him inside me, I wanted a few orgasms, I wanted to hear him moan and feel his lips on my skin. He moved his hips closer to me and I spread my legs more, feeling the tip of his cock slip inside me. I dug my nails in the skin of his upper arms but his expression didn't even change. He simply moved closer again, his eyes roaming on my face as my lips parted and my eyes got bigger. It took half a minute to feel him completely inside me and the feeling was so amazing that I could feel myself throb around him.

"Oh my god." I breathed out before his lips reached mine again.

I knew I needed that but I had no idea just how bad until that moment. I loved how he seemed in total control of everything and he started moving in and out of me so slowly I started shaking beneath him. I squirmed a bit, trying to feel him deeper inside me and he finally gave in and started moving harder and quicker over me, his tongue slipping in my mouth as I moaned and panted. I knew I wouldn't last long and the way he stared at me as if he was waiting to watch me cum made me even hornier.

"Harry, i'm gonna cum."

I felt his lips reach for my neck, trailing small kisses on my skin and making a shiver cross my whole body as an orgasm reached me.

"Cum, I want to feel you."

I suddenly felt dizzy, my body quivering under his as he kept fucking me, going steadily and thrusting deep and hard inside me while still going slowly. I didn't know how he did it but I had never fucked that way before. My orgasm spread inside me and I moaned louder than intended, my eyes fluttering close. It was surprising that I came that hard, especially from the missionary, but I was not sure if it was due to my lack of orgasms recently or because of the way Harry made me feel. Either way, it was worth it and when I opened my eyes again, he was looking at me with a small smile but he had stopped moving.

We remained silent and I couldn't help but feel a bit awkward now that I came. I thought Harry would be more vocal, I thought he had a dirtier mouth, and it was surprising to find out the kind of person he was in bed. It was almost intimidating how in control he was and how much power he seemed to have both over me and himself. Last time, in the woods, he had cursed a few times and it made me wonder if he was holding everything in this time.

"I really want you to cum." I whispered, biting my bottom lip. "All over me."

He looked shock for half a second and I was happy to be able to destabilize him a bit. Without answering, he started fucking me again, this time quicker, and he moved his body up slightly, holding himself with his hands on each side of my face. I reached between us to brush a finger on my clit and breathed through my teeth at the sensation. I was still sensitive but I couldn't hide that the feeling was incredible.

"Please don't stop." I begged in a whisper, arching my back as he groaned.

Hearing him make a sound made me moan too and I rubbed my clit harder when he pulled out of me and stroked his cock hard before he reached an orgasm, his cum spurting all over my lower stomach.

"Holy fucking sh-"

I held my breath as I looked at him, his face twisting with pleasure and his eyes closed. It turned me on even more and I dipped my fingers in his cum, bringing it down to my pussy and rubbing my clit again. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and brought more of his cum between my legs and when my eyes opened again, I realized he was staring at my fingers. It made me hold my breath and I felt an other orgasm explode inside me, making me shaking and curse low, moaning his name a few times and touching myself until the feelings left my body completely.

"That was a sight." Harry let out with surprise, a chuckle leaving his lips.

I could feel my cheeks burn but just cleared my throat as he lied down next to me. After a while, we moved under the blankets and I stayed on my back, my eyes closed. I felt him move on the mattress and when I opened my eyes, I turned my head his way, realizing he was laying on his side, looking at me. His hand reached for my breasts and he ran the tip of his forefinger against my nipple, making me chuckle again.

"When did you get your nipples pierced."

"A long time ago, when I turned 18." I explained with a big smile. "Why?"

He shrugged, staring at my chest, and I licked my lips nervously.

"I don't know, I would never have guessed." he admitted. "And I didn't really have time to ask back at the lodge."

I didn't answer and he stopped touching me but moved a bit closer as I shut my eyes tight. It was not awkward anymore and although I was extremely tired, I wanted to spend some minutes to talk with him.

"It was different." I explained, opening my eyes as he sent me a frown. "Different than when we did things at the lodge. You didn't really talk or anything. You looked in control, almost indifferent."

His face changed and he sighed, bringing his hand to my cheek. I felt my heart melt at his touch but tried to hide how good the affection he was giving me made me feel.

"I was just trying to make things right." he confessed. "I wanted this to be perfect, you know. I wanted to focus on you."

I decided to keep quiet but I could feel something burn in my throat. I was convinced that sex was something that was meant to be shared with someone. I thought the point was to get pleasure but also give it. I didn't want him to focus only on me, I wanted him to feel just as good as I felt, I wanted this to be memorable for both of us.

"I'm sorry, I promise that next time-"

I didn't let him finish and crashed my lips against his. He seemed to relax and slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him and deepening the kiss, this time groaning in my mouth.

"I may wake you up in the middle of the night to do it again." he whispered, making me chuckle before kissing me harder.

"You definitely should."

                                                       ---

I woke up and rolled in bed, feeling his warm skin against mine as I cuddled him. The sun was up, I saw it shine through the window and I groaned, hiding my face in his neck. He hadn't woken me up in the night to fuck again but his arm was still wrapped around me and I blinked a few times before opening my eyes. He looked so peaceful when he slept that I even held my breath to make sure I wouldn't wake him up.

As I stared at him, I started thinking about Niall and what had happened at the café the night before. I couldn't remember the last time I went to bed mad at my best friend and I started wondering if it ever happened before. I closed my eyes and swallowed, thinking it was extremely possible that Niall had done with Maya what I had done with Harry and the thought made me nauseous. I was being a hypocrite, I knew it, but all the contradictions in my head seemed to make sense, even if only for me.

Slowly, I got out of Harry's warm embrace and grabbed his shirt on the floor to put it on. I walked out of the room on my tiptoe, looking back a few times to look at him, and finally sat on my couch, bending down to grab my purse. The number of notifications i saw on my phone made me hold my breath. A few missed calls and exactly 14 text messages were waiting for me and when i realized they were all from Niall, I felt my heart twist in my chest.

'I'm sorry, please forgive me, i love you'

'You're my best friend and i don't want to lose you. I'm sorry I lied.'

'Come on Liv, I'm sorry, please answer me.'

'Don't ignore me please I hate this'

'Are you with him? Is that why you're not answering me?'

'Call me. Or come home. We really need to talk.'

I didn’t have time to read all of them and jumped slightly when I heard a voice in my back.

"It's him, isn't it? He called last night when we were..."

I turned to look at Harry who stood naked in front of me and sighed low before getting up. He looked incredible, as usual, and I tilted my head, enjoying the view for a few more seconds. Was I going to ruin what I had with him the way I was ruining what I have with Niall? By keeping them both around, was I going to lose both of them?

"Yea, he wants to talk."

Harry nodded, pushing his messy hair behind his shoulders and shrugging.

"You should go then."

I didn't know what came over me but I felt a wave of affection towards Harry and walked around the couch to throw myself in his arms. He held me close and kissed the top of my head, making me smile more. I had no idea why he was so understanding but I couldn't explain how much it meant to me.  He smelled good and when I got out of his embrace, he bent down to kiss my lips so gently that I felt my heart melt in my chest.

"Do you want me to wait for you here?" he asked in a whisper, making my eyes flutter open.

I didn't know how it would go with Niall, but I had just taken a decision. I stared at Harry,s perfect face and swallowed hard, scared of what I was going to do but knowing it had to be done. I brought my hands up to cup his face and ran my thumbs on his cheeks gently.

"Yes, please." I whispered back. "Wait for me."

"I will."

The double meaning behind this short exchange made me feel guilty and I just moved up on my tiptoes to kiss him again. I grabbed his upper lip between mine and nibbled on it softly before moving back slightly.

"I owe you, remember?" I breathed out with a smirk. "I'm getting on my knees as soon as I'm back."

He chuckled against my lips, his eyes still closed, but didn't answer.

"Go." he just let out.

I rushed to my room to get dressed and grabbed my stuff, searching for my keys in my purse as I walked quickly to my car. The ride seemed long even if it technically was not and when I rang the doorbell, it felt extremely awkward. When was the last time I had been away from Niall for so long? It was clearly before tour and it seemed like forever ago.

The door open slowly and I noticed how sad he looked. Was it my fault? As soon as his eyes met mine they got bigger and I could read hope all over his face.

"Liv, hey, i'm so sorry for all the text messages."

I kept silent and licked my lips but he just stared at me, putting his hands in his pockets quickly as his eyes roamed on my face. How can you miss someone so much after only a few hours apart? It was pathetic.  He breathed in and finally sighed in a relieved way before moving on the side to let me in. I took a step in and walked to the living room, sitting on his couch and looking in front of me. This is where we had danced only a few days ago, and on that day, I could swear something was happening between us.

I got out of my thoughts when Niall sat next to me and I turned to him raising my eyebrows. For some reason, I felt like he was the one who should say something and I waited.

"I'm sorry. I swear I didn't want to lie to you, I just didn't want to talk about it."

"That hurts, Niall. You never lied to me before." I pointed out. "I mean, not that I know of."

"I haven't! Jesus Christ, I wish I had told you that Maya and I..."

I glanced behind him as if I was expecting Maya to appear wearing only his shirt or something like that. That simple thought made me swallow hard.

"I'm sorry." he shook his head and rubbed his eyes and all I wanted to do was tell him he was forgiven and hug him but I just remained motionless.

How could I admit to Niall that the reason I was so mad was that all this time, I had been hurt by a lie. Knowing that he had had sex with Maya had been something that had haunted me and made me cry at night and now, I was finding out that it never happened and that I had been hurt by something that was not real. It was mostly my fault, not his, but I couldn't tell him that without admitting to him that I had feelings for him.

"Look, Niall, I need a break."

His face twisted into a shocked expression and he shook his head, moving his upper body back a bit. His lips parted and all I could think about was how bad I wanted to straddle him and kiss him, how bad I wanted him to whisper my name, how bad I wanted him to beg me to stay.

"A break of what? Why?"

"Us, Niall. A break of this intense and abnormal friendship." I explained more, hoping my voice wouldn't crack.

His face changed and I could swear I saw fear in his eyes. His hands reached for mine and I swallowed again, trying not to answer his gesture when he squeezed my fingers.

"Our friendship is not abnormal, it's special and unique alright, but we're not doing anything wrong. We're friends I mean, we've always been best friends. I don't want things to change."

I didn't want things to change either but I didn't tell him. I just licked my lips and shook my head.

"Is it me you want in your life, or is it just that you're so used to have me around that it would be weird if I wasn't there anymore?"

He frowned, clearly offended by my words, and moved his face closer to me. I felt myself tear up as I tried to memorize every tiny detail of his face. He was beautiful and the sight made butterflies hit the inside of my stomach. It was impossible for anyone else to be so handsome but Niall was there, right in front of me, and everything inside me was telling me to kiss him and tell him how much I loved him.

"It's you. Just you, Olivia."

The way my name sounded in his mouth was incredible and I suddenly felt dizzy.

"I would like to make sure of that. Perhaps a few weeks apart will help us see things more clearly."

"Weeks?"

I got up quickly, knowing I had to leave as quick as I could or I would change my mind. I didn't want to be away from Niall but I knew I had to. I also knew I would miss him more than humanly possible but It had to be done. I grabbed my purse again and turned around, walking back to his front door until I felt his warm hand on my arm, turning me around and pulling me close to him. This time, I didn't resist and wrapped my arms around his chest, pressing my cheek on his shirt and inhaling his scent like it was the very last time.

"Please, don't do that. I'm gonna miss you so fucking much."

I held my tears in and finally took a step back, sending him a sad smile.

"I'll call you."

I almost ran out and hopped in my car but it's only when I drove back in his driveway that I noticed he had ran out of his house too and was yelling my name. I ignored him and drove away, looking at him in my rear view mirror as he was standing motionless in the middle of the street. At that exact moment, the realization of what I had just done hit me and I started crying, letting out a few sobs despite myself.

I had no idea if I did the right thing anymore. I already missed him and being away from him was the last thing I wanted. Unfortunately, my love for him was getting stronger every day and I had to do something to stop it. They say 'out of sight out of mind', right? I just hoped they were right.

[prorevenge]

Supervisor makes me pull 1500+ lbs main power wire by myself, you break your shoulder and lose your job.

Hey reddit, this is my first post so bear with me, I know it's a long one so I apologize, im on mobile

Abriviations: Me = Me (obviously)

SRS = Self righteous supervisor

FCW = friendly coworker

Some context

I work as an electrician, I had done so for over a year before leaving the state for a few months to sort out some family things, once I returned home I got my old job back. By the time I had returned to the company they had grown quite a bit. Lots of new faces and lots of new assholes to avoid.

So the first day came and I arrived on time (also note I spoke to the owner of the company. Good friend and asked him what I should bring for the days work, no reply, my own fault I came unprepared, and underdressed because I wasn't given a uniform yet,but anyway) as i pull up to the job i realize I'm the first one there, so i wait in my car listening to some music while eating my breakfast. Now the jobs normally start at 7am sharp. 8 o'clock finally rolls around and I see someone with the company attire, I go up to him and introduce myself

Me: "Hey I'm my name I'll be starting work with you guys today, nice to meet you"

FCW: "Hey! Yeah we were told you were coming, do you have any tools with you?"

Me: "a few hand tools, I want given a tool list by boss I tried to ask but got no reply, my bad"

FCW: no problem! Do you know how to wire up florescent lights?

Me: "sure do!"

FCW: "perfect let's get you started on that!"

So I was going about my business wiring up all the florescent lights that have been put up, minding my own headphones in nose, to the grind stone. Enter SRS.

So there I am doing my job, and quite efficiently to I might add when SRS seemingly sneaks over to me, jumps on the side of the lift I'm currently working on (which breaks the oasis codes btw) And pulls the headphones out of my ears, which obviously hurt and was quite surprising. He begins to talk and things go like this

SRS: "FIRST OFF, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING SECOND WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING AND THIRDLY WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU TO DO THIS?"

I was shocked and told him it was my first day back with the company, I hadn't gotten my uniform yet so I had to come in simple clothes, I explained that I wasn't told what tools I would need so I that's why I was unprepared. He proceeds to tell me to get down off the lift, I do. At the same time the GC (general contractor) for the whole job walks in (nice guy)

As I'm getting my ass chewed out for being unprepared he sees the GC and gestures him to come over, he does. As he arrives the SRS starts to insult me I front of him saying how unprofessional I looked and how stupid I must have been for coming in like this.

At this point the GC looks quite uncomfortable, the GC makes an excuse to leave the conversation but not before to get off one more thing

SRS: "anyway I'll fix this issue right now" Hr turns to me and says SRS: "get the fuck of my job site and come back when your an actual worker"

So I did, I called up my boss and he chewed him out. I rolled back up to the job a few minutes later happy to see the FCW smiling to see me back. I was left alone for most of the day, but as the week progressed things would get worse and worse. At one point he came in furious not particularly at me just because he's a absolute f***face with 0 patience. Anyway, he comes in with a large tool back with lots of random things, then he stops look at me, he the. THROWS the back at the floor, spilling everything all over a floor I just swept, turns back to me and says

SRS: "clean it up"

I was doubfouned standing there with my jaw open, he walks away with not a single f given, I turn to FCW and he's just looking at me shocked as well, that was the last straw for me, I'm a good worker and I do my job well, I work overtime constantly and do not need this kind of treatment so I decided to make myself feel better about my job situation by screwing with SRS as much as possible.

So for the next week I would take small tools or parts he was using while walking away and throw them into the work trailer, as this kept happening and since he had no idea where his tools were going he was buying new screwdrivers it seemed like every day. On top of that he began to steal spools of wire of the job and put into his truck to resell, I took pictures of him doing so and saved them for later, also got a few videos of him nearly attacking other companys workers for being "to loud with the Mexican music" (f****** prick)

So Friday finally rolls along and its main feed day, now I'd you don't know about how underground electric works you might not fully grasp how difficult it is to pull by yourself... it's very hard.

The wires arrive 6 hours late, we start pulling at 2am, (we were supposed to be off at 2 today with full 8 hour pay, we worked late that day) As everything gets put on rollers and the feeds get lead I see SRS standing by the pulley doing nothing but waiting for me to get everything ready, I don't say anything and just do it. Now he has an electric pulley powered by a small remote. Now me on the other end is pushing in all this 600 wire (the spools are bigger than me and over 1500 lbs each) after over 3 hours of me nearly killing myself with no breaks cuz he wouldn't take his damn hand off the button. Eventually he walks over to me to complain about how slow I was at feeding it to him, I told him if would have helped me it could have went faster. He. No. Likey.

SRS: "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SUGGESTING THAT I HELP YOU WITH YOUR JOB? WHAT ARE YOU GOOD FOR IF YOU CANT EVEN DO THE ONE JOB I GIVE YOU ITS NOT HARD JUST FEED THE F'ING WIRE YOU DUMB F***"

I. WAS. FURIOUS.

I took a deep breath and simply took it on the chin. Sorta. Kinda. Not really. As he was going over back to his truck he was walking by the wire spools when he slipped on some wet cardbord I had been using to put my knees on causing him to slip and rall into the spool and hit the large bolts attached to the side. I could visibly see it was out of place. Ouch. I felt no pity. Seeing him wriggle on the floor in pain for a few seconds before helping him back up was very satisfying. Got him in his truck and he left, probably to the doctors I'm guessing.

After the week was over I drove over to the management office to speak with my boss, I told him about how SRS has been treating me the other employees, others, and even the GC, constantly giving everyone shit about anything he could. He was not happy and told me he would look into the matter, a few days later I found out he was trying to sue the company for his arm getting hurt on the job saying he was hurt by all the wire I pulled in, like i had some impact on his lack of balance. my boss came back at him with the evidence of him stealing from the company and nearly costing him jobs, he dropped the idea of suing and was gone the next day. I got a raise 😁��

(source) story by (/u/Sub_StandardSpace)

[reeree1500]

The Return- Part 5

Guys I'm so sorryyyy!😭I HAD MAJOR WRITERS BLOCK😭 It was actually so bad! And then the fact that Tumblr deleted my whole draft and I had to start it over again🙄 Big surprise towards the end btw😂Anyway here's part 5 y'all...

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 10

Disclaimer: My sucky writing, Incest, grammar and spelling😅 and just overall the whole thing😂 please don’t kill me🙏🏽😂 @yanii-the-hippie is already trying to😂

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @youbloodymadgenius @laketaj24 @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @cainismyname @readsalot73 @wuxiesalt @camatsuru @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @cindy-exo @affection-rabbit @ragnarssonsbitch @mel0nch0ly @queenofallthyfandoms

Flashback to 6 years ago...

“RUN! (Y/N)! RUN!” Helga screamed...

 On that fateful night you had been awakened from your slumber by one very worried Helga. She was the wife of the scary looking man Floki. And you could never come to understand how such a cheerful and radiant person, could be with someone so dark and mean. Helga had come in to the homestead whilst everyone was asleep. She had overheard her husband and Aslaug talk about getting rid of the christian child of Ragnar Lothbrok. She knew about (y/n), but she never thought that an innocent child would have to pay for the sins committed by those around her. 

As Helga made her way silently across the home trying to find the child, she couldn’t help but feel guilty. She was betraying her husband and the Queen at that. But she couldn't get over the fact that an innocent child would be murdered. When she sees (y/n)’s and Bjorn’s bodies cuddle up on the bed, she softly approaches the little girls’ side. Tapping her on the shoulder she manages to wake (y/n) up. Startled you go try tp scream and thats when she places her delicate finger over your lips. Signalling you to be quiet. “Follow me, you and your family are in grave danger.” The feeling of wanting to protect your family from anything consumed you. Even being 13 years old you understood that family came first and that you would gladly lay down your life to save theirs.  With that, you untangled yourself form Bjorn’s embrace and gave him a small peck on his forehead, then you made your way to your parent’s room. You peeked inside to make sure they were asleep and then tip toeing to where they lay in an embrace you softly kissed both of them goodbye.

You knew that this may very well be the last time you ever saw your parents. But, you could tell through the look in Helga’s eyes that whatever she was talking about your family being in danger was in fact the truth. Helga helped you gather some of your things quickly and as you rushed to the door, you almost forgot your teddy. “Wait, I need to grab my teddy. I cant leave without it, its the only thing I’ll have left of them.” You silently whisper towards Helga as she stands watch by the door. “Ok, but you must hurry. They'll be here any second now. And if they find you, I can assure you that no one will survive.” At that you scurry back towards your room. In there you find a sleepy headed Bjorn almost waking up. “(y/n), what are you doing? Come back to bed, you know we’re gonna start your training tomorrow morning.” He yawns out. “Sorry, I'm just really thirsty. Ill get a glass of water and come back ok?” you murmur to him. Bjorn just nods whilst yawning and goes back to sleep. But before you close the door and disappear you can hear him murmur the words I love you...

Your POV

After the moment that we shared in the Great Hall as a family happened. Mother, father, Bjorn and I had gone down to the lake by the old homestead we once lived in. There we all lied down on the grass and I had caught them all up on what had transpired on that night 6 years ago. “So let me clear this up, Helga...as in Floki’s wife. Broke into our home and kidnapped you and then sent you away on a boat to Frankia...” said Lagertha trying to wrap her head around the subject. “Well, mother I wouldn't really put it like that, but technically yes. She kidnapped me in order to save me and yourselves. Or so she claimed. She didn't really get into details on who was after me. She just told me that my life was in danger and I finally believed her when we were being chased by a group of mercenaries.” I respond to her. In that we all fall into silence. Over looking the lake I can tell that my family is processing all this information. Not only because of how quiet they are at the moment, but because I can feel their eyes on me. As if they believe that I shall vanish right in front of them.

“I missed this... Having my family together, overlooking the lake and just the serene and calming effect that this place has on us.” My father breaks the silence as he looks out towards the lake. He runs his fingers through my mother’s hair. And I cannot help but think about how come they never told me. “Soooo... since we’re all together finally. Can someone tell me how in the name of God and all that is good. No one ever told me about Aslaug and her sons?” With that my father’s fingers come to a stop at the ends of my mother’s long golden locks. “It just went something you tell your child out of the blue, (y/n).” My mother responds for my father. They always did this. Even as a child, when one of them was being questioned. The other would jump in and save them as if the question was directed at them. “But why keep it a secret? I don't understand, if you were married to Aslaug and Ivar and I are the same age that means that you laid with mother during the time you were married to her. Meaning that I have no claim to anything. Im a bastard.” At this my father lifts my mothers head from his lap and turns to me. Rage and sadness is what I am able to detect from his electric blue eyes.

“You are not a bastard child! I will not have you slander my name or your mothers with such lies. Your mother and I are married, in the eyes of both the Christian God and Freyja and Odin. Yes, your mother left me when Aslaug became pregnant with Ubbe. And many years later she came back to me, however I could not let her go. Be it selfishness or pride, she was mine and I am hers. Till death do us part!” At that tears well up in my eyes. Not because Ive just been scolded by my father. But, because this is the first time that I could really say that he has shown me his emotions. The night where we reunited, was only a small glance of emotion. But, this moment here had probably been the closest thing to a heart to heart that I have ever had with my father. He wipes my tears away and then goes to face Lagertha who had also been tearing up through this revelation.  And they share a small, but passionate kiss.

I do not know if its just the overwhelming emotion that I’m processing, but I cannot help but bring my finger to my lips and think of a certain ill tempered boy...

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As the hours went by, we had decided to not only renovate and clean up the homestead. But we relieved some of the old memories we had. Bjorn and I decided to get in the water and go for a swim. Whilst Lagertha and Ragnar stayed in the house “cleaning up”. Bjorn and I knew exactly what that meant. As I laugh thinking about the situation that my parents are in. Bjorn sneaks up behind me and dunks my head into the water. I try my hardest to push him away and try to get rid of his hold on my head. My lungs need a break and as I almost felt my self drifting away, Bjorn pulls me back up. Gasping for air and coughing out the water from inside. I turn around and hit Bjorn’s chest as hard as I could muster at the moment. “Bjorn! What the hell!! you could've killed me!”   I yell at him through my punches. “Ow..ow.. OW!!!. I was just joking... Jeez woman lose up!” He responds trying to shield himself form my hits. “Well it wasn't funny...”

As I swim towards the shore and go to collect my clothes, Bjorn turns me around and looks into my eyes. “We need to talk. And it’s not something that you are not getting yourself out of.” At this I can only gulp. Did he find out about Ivar and I? Is it possible that Hvitserk told him? No..no, Hvitty wouldn't do that. But then again he’s know the boys his whole life. I have just met them. “What about, big brother?” “Sigurd told me something when we had been waiting for mother’s arrival. And you could say I‘m a little concerned, and I just want to get to the bottom of it.” He says while eyeing me carefully. At that moment before I could respond the sound of the horses hooves could be heard form down the road. Bjorn and I quickly exchange looks and begin to dress immediately. We run towards the homestead and burst through the doors. It seems as whatever mother and father had been up to had just finished. 

Seeing our exasperated sighing and how flustered I must have looked father reaches for his sword. “Why are you both so out of breath?” Mother asks wrapping the quilt around herself.  “We heard horses down the road. We didn't know if they were friend or foe. And Bjorn didn't have any of his weapons with him.” I manage to get out. At this both father and Bjorn make their way towards the door.  Peeking out the one of the small holes Bjorn is able to make out who it was standing outside. “Its the guards accompanied by Ubbe, Hvitserk and Ivar.” Something told me that this would be quite eventful...

--------------------------

Ivar POV

The moment (y/n) and her mother reunited in the great hall brought a tear to everyones eye. I admit that maybe I got a little emotional as well, but no one would ever know that. However, I noticed that my beautiful mother had left the room with rage and tear filled eyes. I had never seen my mother go through so many emotions in one day. She went from having a good blessed morning to having a shit hole day with that whore Lagertha coming back. I mean she gave birth to my beautiful (y/n), but still. Every time I see her I cannot help, but want to choke her to death fro all the pain she caused my mother.

Shaking me from my thoughts Ubbe starts going off on Hvitserk. “How could you be so stupid! (Y/n) has a target on her back and you decided to go off into the woods alone without anyone else?!?!?!” In this sense Ubbe was right, Hvitserk put (y/n)’s life in danger all because he wanted to take her from me. It wasn't enough for these people that I am a cripple. But they want to take the woman that the gods sent to me! This is unacceptable and I will not allow it. “Ubbe is right. She could have been killed because of your insolence Hvitty!” I scream at him. My blood had been boiling at this point. “Oh shut up Ivar! We all know that if she would have asked you to go with her, you would have done the same. If not take her some place remote where she could not leave your crippled ass!” Hvitserk barks back at me.

All this time Sigurd is sitting by the fire pit whilst tuning his lyre. “You both should just accept the fact that you're in love with your own sister. And that it will never go anywhere. Besides I overheard father speaking in his chambers the other day with Bjorn. They're looking for suitors to marry her off to. That way she will be hopefully safe from whoever is hunting her.” Sigurd says as calm as one could ever be. At this my mouth hangs open and Hvitserk and I exchange glances. “N..No... That cannot be. Father would never marry (y/n) off to someone she doesn't know. And the fact that he just got her back should keep him form doing so as well.” Hvitserk struggles to say. Im still trying to process the fact that my purpose to live will be taken from me once again. This I cannot allow...

-----------------------------------------------

“Ivar you’re sure that this is the right way?” Hvitserk asks me for the hundredth time. This time instead of answering I just keep going. This man-child will not drive me insane today. Not when the task at hand is so dire. Making our way through the woods and down the path, I spot my father’s horse as well as 3 other ones. Urging my horses to go faster I catch a glimpse of (y/n) runnings towards the homestead whilst trying to slip her dress back on. The way that the drops fell from her hair and onto her chest and then down the valley of her breasts made me come to a halt. Before I knew it the guards and Ubbe had all passed me and there I was still sitting in my carriage on the same spot. Once she was out of my sight, I got it together and got to the house. There we were greeted by father and Bjorn. “Ubbe. what brings you all down here?” my father asks. “We wished to know what we should do about the investigation. You all just took off without alerting anyone.” At that Lagertha steps out of the homestead clearly in a disheveled dress. From that we can guess what her and father were up to before we could get here. 

“Actually Ubbe... Your father and I have come to terms that (y/n) shall be trained by me. This way I can properly teach her how to use her strengths and weaknesses to her advantage. Something you boys will not be able to teach her.” At the mention of this (y/n)’s eyes widened in surprise. “Well... Mother (y/n) isn't really one to train, if Im honest with you. Poor girl is was never taught how to properly defend herself. And through all the training that we've put her through, its not much of an improvement...” Bjorn says, but then trails off due to (y/n) punching him in the gut. I can tell you that I have never been as in love with someone as I am with my own sister. Which is ridiculous to many, but the truth...

---------------------------------------------

Your POV

Weeks from the time that my mother arrived had gone by. My training started immediately after the conversation that we all had at the porch. Ubbe and the boys had finally gotten somewhere with the investigation with the help of Lagertha. They had found the murder weapon, a small dagger with intricate designs. Bjorn had taken it to get a closer look, but from what I had seen in his eyes I could tell that he knew who was behind this. As I think of who could have been behind the murder of my best friend, the wind is knocked out of me. “(Y/N)! Concentrate! Never take your eyes off your opponent! Thats the number one rule on the battlefield!” My mother yells at me from above. Extending her hand out towards me I grasp on to it and she pulls me up from the ground. Dusting myself off I mumble an I’m sorry to her and that I will concentrate next  time. “When facing a real opponent child you will not have the luxury to be better again. Its do or die!” She holds onto my shoulders as she looks into my eyes and then leans her forehead against mine. “I want you to be able to defend yourself. It might come a time where neither your father or I. Bjorn and your brothers will be there to protect you. And I need to be able to sleep at night with the thought that my child will not be taken from me again by some imbecile...” 

My mother and I exchange a final glance before she heads off towards the great hall in what I think is an attempt to find my father. My father and Bjorn have been very secretive lately. Every time I walk into a room I can tell that the conversations they were having were about me before I got there. And it was very much getting on my nerves. Picking up the bow that Ivar had made for me I start to aim at the dummy target. But before I knew it something startles me and I let go of the arrow without knowing where it would hit. “AHHHHH, are you trying to kill me woman?!??!”

“Ivar, Oh my God I’m so sorry. You startled me.” I say whilst rushing towards him. “I see that you've taken a liking to the bow I crafted for you...” blushing from his words I simply nod my head and stare at the ground. “(y/n). I wanna have a serious conversation with you. But it must be done in private.” He whispers the last part to me. I rear my head towards him and proceed to grab his hand. Ivar takes it upon himself though to lace our fingers together and walk together to "our” chambers. Passing by the market, I notice the looks that people have been given us and the not so quiet whispers. Embarrassed and not wanting to drag attention to myself anymore than I already have. I attempt to let go of Ivar’s hand, but he will have none of it. He jut grips my hand harder and walks a little faster towards the cabin. 

Once inside Ivar walks towards the bed and starts taking off his braces. “Close the door please. I would like this to be a private conversation between you and I. For the time being.” Doing as told, I close the door behind me and make my way towards him. Ivar is struggling to get one of his braces off, so without thinking I kneel before him and push his hands away to try and help him out. At this action Ivar looks at me with shock and a hint of adoration. Over the last 3 months that I have been here. I observed Ivar take his braces off before bed. Something about them fascinated me and I couldn't pinpoint what it was. Picking myself up from the floor I go to sit beside him on the bed in one swift movement Ivar pushes me back on the bed and gets on top of me. 

Before I could scream his lips touch mine. Unlike the times before I find myself reciprocating the kiss. Our lips begin to move in sync with each other. He traced his tongue on my bottom lip asking for entrance which I denied. At this he got frustrated and slapped my ass. As I opened my mouth to yell at him for hitting me, he took this as a chance to slip his tongue in my mouth. There was no fight for dominance as he overtook the situation. My fingers tangle in his hair trying to pull him closer to me. His hands caress my sides and then cup my breasts. In this I cant help, but let out a moan. Ivar pulls back and stares at me while bringing his hand up to brush my hair outta my face. “I would really love to continue this, but there's something I have to tell you (y/n).” He untangles himself from my grasp and brings my hand to his lips. Placing small kisses on the back of my hand he closes his eyes and then reluctantly gets up. As I lay on the bed, I can only think of what we were up to seconds ago. What would have happened if we didn't stop. Pulling me into his lap and out of my thoughts Ivar grabs my face in his hands. 

“Before you got here I was a scared and lonely boy. With no notion of what love was or could have been. To think that the gods made you especially for me and brought you to me at the most opportune time is a sign from Odin himself. (Y/n) I will not let them take you away from me. Not now or ever...”  Ivar closes the gap between us with a small and tender kiss. “Ivar... it’s wrong. How we feel about one another isn't right...” my eyes well up with tears. What cruel joke is this that God is playing. Why? How come the man that I love is my brother... Brushing my tears away, I could tell that Ivar is having the same predicament. “Father plans to marry you off... That is what I wanted to talk to you about.” His eyes do not meet mine this time. “Wait...no it cant be. Father would never do that. he always said that I would be free to marry whomever I pleased and fell in love with...” Nothing the change in my breathing Ivar hugs me and rubs my back. “I will not let them. You will not be sold like cattle just because they cant find the killer and are afraid.”

“This is why I want you to runaway with me. Will you (y/n)...” 

------------------------------------

Bjorn POV

I cannot control the anger boiling inside me. How could she do this... Storming off from the meeting I went straight to my cabin. There she greeted me as if nothing was wrong. “Love I made some...” Throwing the bowl of soup from her hands I pushed her back onto a chair. “Bjorn what's wrong with yo...” “What wrong with me?!?!?! How about what's wrong with you? You killed Mira! You tried to kill my sister!” At this point all I see is red. I cant even describe how I felt when I saw that the murder weapon was Torvi’s dagger. And to think I was gonna tell her the truth and let her in on the reason as to why she could be wanted dead. “Bjorn.. please! It was not like I wanted to do it! Aslaug forced me too. She had said that you were in danger! Please Bjorn you have to believe me! I did it for our family!” Shaking my head at her I turn around and head towards the door. “Get your stuff, I don't want you here when I come back. I will tell my father everything that you and Aslaug have been planning. And for the sake of what we once had I will give you this heads up so you can leave. And do not come back!” Slamming the door of the cabin I head towards the great hall and begin t think to myself about the first time I laid eye son my sister....

19 years ago...

“Bjorn... come meet her.” I didn't want anything associated with that child. The fact that I had already lost a sister and that my parents had now taken in a child that wasn't theirs baffled me. “She's not my sister. She the child of a christian priest...” At that my mother looks at me with sadness in her eyes. “Bjorn I know that you still hurt over Gyda and the fact that she didn't survive and you did. This child however is your sister. No matter how she came into this world, the gods have given us a second chance. Please come and meet her, for my sake?” At that I go towards my mother and get a closer look at the child. Her features resembled that somewhat of my father’s. Not much, but enough to be able to pass as the child of my father and mother. “What about Athelstan? Is he okay with you taking his child?” I ask my mother. At that my father walks in and kneels before me. “You must protect her with your life Bjorn. From this day onward she will be yours to take care off. She is your sister and no one must know that in fact she is Athelstan’s daughter or she and all of us will be in danger.” At that I understood why my parents had done it. Taken a child that wasn't theirs in order to protect it. Although I didn't want her, I cant help but feel a strong sense of protection over her. As if my sole task in this world is to protect her... “Bjorn...she doesn't have a name yet. Would you like to name her?” My mother asks whilst placing the child in my arms. The baby opens her eyes and looks up at me. Her beautiful eyes open up to reveal those (y/e/c) orbs. She cracks a smile at me and at that I cant help, but laugh. “(Y/n)...her name will be (y/n).”

[gilgaemsh-a]

IM FINALLY ABLE TO MAKE MY BNHA OCS AHHHH!!!!! part one at least lmao i’m gunna make a part 2 reallllllllly soon

the style of this picrew is similar to bnha style so it’s better for me to think up my ocs (at least the girls) this way!! (i’m very picky orz)

also i’m always up for rping if anyone is interested!!!!! dm me dude!!!!!!!!!!!!

also also! quirks aren’t like final versions?? im still tryna figure out how to make quirks more... quirk-like lol.

intros under the cut!!

@bnhappreciation​ @bnha-oc-collection​

ankou fuwara (#1 & #2)

the ever blooming hero: chloris

ankou is my most loved oc and the by far the hardest to make for some reason. her and her quirk went through so many changes its insane but i finally settled on something perfect.

she’s currently an active hero having just graduated from u.a. she’s extremely popular and currently number 12 on the hero billboard (shes 19 btw)

ankou quirk is overgrowth aka chlorokinesis - the manipulation of plant life and pheromone generation. (she can do a lot with her quirk so shes my second most op character)

her range is pretty much the same as pixie bob’s earth flow.

ankou was actually a child star, a very popular actress/model. she quit when she graduated to focus on her hero career which is one of the reasons why she’s so popular.

when ankou was in school to was the top u.a. student along with two others (they’re boys so i wasnt able to make them but one day i will)

ankou quirk is actually a combo of her parents her mother has minimal manipulation over plants and her father could manipulate his pheromones

ankou is the older sister type. she’s super kind and caring and protective of people close to her.

she unofficially adopts izuku when she meets him

she also (surprisingly) has a good relationship with bakugou. she treats him like a younger brother and teases him a lot.

ankou is also the type to be really scary when angry

ankou had a really hard time making friends growing up because she couldn’t control her pheromones properly

alot of the times her classmates or even random people would fall in love with her just by her scent or other times end up being despised by it

both of ankou’s parents actually come from hero families. they grew up together since their families knew each other & they were both the youngest. neither of them wanted to be heroes.

ankou’s mother (ririka) is a pharmacist for one of the top hospitals in japan while her father (aizen) is an a-list actor.

side note! ankou’s father aizen took ririka’s last name.

i hardcore ship ankou and tomura. it literally started by me just thinking “oh hey lmao ankou has a life quirk and tomura has a death quirk! wait-”

so now their my otp.

oh btw the first pic is how ankou looks currently, the other is her older.

kurena kan (#3)

the healing heroine: nightingale

my child. my baby. she’s never done a single thing wrong in her entire life.

kurena is a mixed baby, half japanese & half american

she grew up with her father sekijiro kan in japan, her mother, charity brown is currently deceased.

her quirk is miracle blood - the ability to heal others and herself using her own blood. she can manipulate her blood as well. kurena has high regenerative properties as well! as long as her blood is flowing she can heal herself extremely fast.

as you know vlad king (her father) is able to manipulate blood but kurena’s mother was able to heal people with her quirk (empathic healing) which resulted in kurena’s quirk.

kurena is currently a first year at u.a. in izuku’s class.

she’s the tomboy type, tends to get into a lot of fights though she’s actually really mellow and cool.

she’s also the type that if she were to dress as a boy, she’d make a really hot one. (though as a girl she’s super hot too)

she’s recovery girl’s apprentice and helps out alot in the infirmary of the school

deku spends a lot less time there since kurena can heal him lol

i ship kurena with todoroki and bakugou. my beloved ot3

all three of them are p competitive with each other (don’t worry it’s all healthy competition)

kurena’s mother came to japan to further to abilities and apprentice under recovery girl which is how her and sekijiro met

she died helping recovery girl heal all might as a backlash of her quirk

kurena’s mother is full blown italian! and partially named kurena because it sounds like carina which means beloved

in japanese kurena the kanji for her name is crimson

oh!! aizawa is kurena’s godfather on her mother’s side! the two are very close

charity and aizawa were best friends before she died

miwa midoriya* (#4)

all in one heroine: alter ego

oof my most op oc you can fight me im not changing her.

miwa is actually the daughter of two high profile villains

she’s actually an “experiment”, the two villains had been working on a way to merge their quirks in the perfect way to make a strong villain - miwa was their current project until she escaped them

miwa doesn’t know how many others came before her or what happened to them when she asked she was told her ‘siblings’ were disposed of.

miwa’s quirk is gunna be the hardest to explain lol the short version is: miwa’s body can mimic and control different elements.

like... full on mimics elements. yknow like and elemental spirit? how it’s just a being made of fire or water or air etc etc? that’s miwa.

i’m actually on the fence about making the elements miwa shifts into to be alters (like she suffers from dissociative personality disorder.) so basically every time she shifts into a different element that element has its own personality? tho maybe it doesn’t even need to be DID it could just be the way her quirk works? SOMEONE GIVE ME INPUT PLS

her mother is a shapeshifter while her father could control elements

miwa was rescued by izuku’s father and then later adopted by him when it was quickly realized she didn’t want anyone else

she grew up with izuku and bakugou. her a bakugou are actually quite close since she’s the first person to beat him in stuff. he likes how strong she is.

miwa is also a pacifist! she had no interest in being a hero (it sounded like more trouble then it was worth) but when bakugou and izuku applied for u.a. she didn’t want to be left alone so she applied.

miwa is a soft bean. she hates violence but is willing to ATTACK when her loved ones are in danger

she’s also in the constant fear that her parents are watching her every move. she feels as if her parents gave her up to easy or staged the hero rescue for a reason. she’s constantly paranoid lol

miwa is classified as “looks like a cinnamon roll; can kill you”

nagi the tempest (#5)

real name: aoka arashi

currently my only villain but don’t worry i plan on making more!

nagi is the only daughter of as prostigious hero family.

the arashi family was known for its variety of powerful weather related quirks and continued to plan marriages based on quirks

the arashi family was also very abusive in its training and pushed nagi through limits she still has nightmares about; the training was due to how volatile nagi’s quirk is. which she was often blamed for

one day nagi snapped and destroyed the arashi family home along with everyone inside she was on the run for awhile before dabi found her

at that point i guess he was already apart of the league of villains? i’m not sure when dabi joined tho so this is just me guessing

nagi’s quirk is storm - nagi is able to create storms and manipulate them! it’s an extremely violate quirk that almost got her killed when she first manifested it. it’s the reason her training was so grueling. nagi needs moisture in order for her quirk to work

and while thunderstorms are something she can make she can’t actually control the lightning; not because it’s not apart of her quirk but because lighting is tricky to control in itself

she wields a katana that acts as a conduit for the lightning

when nagi does try to control the lightning more often than not it backlashes onto herself creating wounds/scars on her body in the shape of lightning bolts

dabi thinks they’re really pretty

nagi is the silent type. she very rarely talks and no one in the league of villains has ever heard the sound of her voice

dabi brags about being the only person nagi talks too

the name nagi was given to her by dabi it means the calm before the storm

though dabi gave her the nickname he often calls her aoka when they’re alone

despite her blonde hair and blue eyes nagi is 100% japanese!

her and dabi are hardly ever seen apart and if you haven’t guessed it i ship them lol

hinata enma (#6)

the beguiling heroine: enchanter

my trans baby girl!!!!!!!!

a 5th generation geisha currently a maiko of course

her quirk is heartbreaker - a succubus quirk! besides her supernatural beauty and over all supernatural condition (strength, speed all that good stuff) hinata’s real quirk is her voice; her voice has the power to control others and even alter reality.

you know allison hargreeves from the umbrella academy? that’s hinata

i’m still not sure how i want hinata to be able to trigger that power like how allison as to say “i heard a rumor” to use her power?? idk what i want hina to say

a hinoenma is a japanese yokai extremely similar to succubi which is where i got hina’s name

as i mentioned, hina is a geisha! not a prostitue

growing up hina was taught art, dancing and singing she excels at all three uwu

hina’s mother, yuuhi, is close friends with masaru bakugou. masaru usually goes to her for help with traditional japanese fashion

because of this bakugou and hina grew up together

the two are best friends even though they go to separate schools katsuki is the only one hina doesn’t use her power on

katsuki is also the one to encourage hina to become a hero though the two don’t go to u.a together instead hina attends shiketsu high

the two of them video call each other daily

hina is very mischievous!! she likes playing harmless pranks and teasing others

when she was in elementary and middle school she was often picked on for her quirk being a ‘villain’ quirk

she’s never used her quirk in malicious ways

the most malicious way she’d use is to help play a prank

she trains with bakugou when she can

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“So Happy Together” Analysis

i don’t sleep

tl;dr: tbh not much to go off on about. i think we see a new skin for Iron Bear, one with some stripes. amara smiles, i do talk a little bit about little sisters in bioshock but tbh i think this was all just a stylistic choice lol. oh and handsome jack’s masks- probably Mount Jackmore. i don’t want to get to freaked out over jack returning, but damn gearbox lol u had me there for a second. im pretty sure it’s just a reused cut quest from bl2 that they never got to implement. 

EDIT: here’s all the cut content in bl2 (plus all the non-cut content as well for funsies). you can go to the cut quests and see the audio files for claptrap’s jackmore quest

holy shit can i just vomit all my emotions rn, they’re all good so imma do that so im rational when i start analyzing stuff okay? okay! 

holy shit that was fucking great and im really glad i tempered my expectations to something smaller than i thought because i feel bad for people expecting something huge, i was under the assumption we’d be getting a new mechanic that was like ‘choose ur +1 and they’ll be able to play the game with you if you’re both online even if they don’t have the game’ which was what someone said on reddit. altho im sure the poor company is gonna get spammed now with hate like ‘WTF YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BUILT THIS UP AAAA’. not to lie, i was slightly disappointed it wasn’t a longer stream, but i mean if they’ve got nothing to announce, they’ve got nothing to announce and HEY! new trailer!!! gonna be combing thru on the assumption this has some easter eggs like the MoM trailer did, just in case. i thought it was a cute trailer, gearbox never explicitly said what it was gonna be, a lot people all just assumed what was gonna happen was a demo/beta which sucks so i hope this doesn’t negatively impact people’s perspective of the game. im staying off reddit for now bc when i first checked it people were pretty pissed and i dun need that negativity lmao

okay! emotions are LOCKED behind closed doors. i am shifting into study mode. here we go boys/girls/those of us who know better. haven’t done one of these in a while, let’s see if im rusty at all.

claptrap! and the skull on the chair which reminds me of tyreen’s “favorite skull”. 

tv says “we are under attack, please stand by”

and afaik claptrap is near the beginning of the game, you can see part of the recruitment center behind him when the camera pans.

im thinking there might be something in the roses, specifically the hand-drawn roses later on in the trailer. will be keeping an eye open for that.

this is specifically a jakobs brand chest. i really like the see-through aesthetic of it

intro area of the game again. possible hint to the opening cutscene? tbh i was worried that’s what we were about to get because i haven’t finished the roughs of my mock up lol

so what i didn’t notice my first time through is that you can then see claptrap, also being shown in the chest

waving up at the camera. that’s not trippy at all or anything lol

this car in the foreground (with no one driving it, mind you)

randomly combusts, looking quite like elpis in that one shot of the claptrap presents pandora trailer. wonder if that means it’s gonna ‘splode.

ohhh it spins. please no spin imma get motion sick blech

shot of some cultists. one appears to have a jetpack near the bottom right there

another explosion to the beat

the shock wave!!!! that’s awesome

shock nomads cultists are back. f in chat for our shields

another cultist seconds before he gets blown to bits

it cuts to black for a secco as it moves thru said explosion

another cultist, i assume a psycho

finally some good fucking angles

heh.

idk what i expected from someone who’s first action skill line i ever heard was them shouting MAGIC WALL!!! TAAAADAAAAAAAAH

as a side note

who is shooting those lasers

we see them coming from behind the VHs, but

there’s nothing there

SPOOKY~

they’re coming from... the wall???

tfw u shot urself in the foot on accident

amara is not amused

`is this some human custom i don’t understand yet`

also i hate that i’ve done this exact dance before when i took dance classes as a kid

with less style of course, i was like 7

moze is into it, hell yeah

this reminds me a lot of Kingsman. where all the blood is like fireworks and stuff. i wonder if that has anything to do with the psycho brainwashing. like little sisters in bioshock. they see roses instead of blood, right? maybe there’s something like that going on with the psychos

i’d certainly hope our vault hunters aren’t brainwashed, anyway.

this dude looking SHOCKED to see that tho, lmfao

i relate to this man on a spiritual level i stg

man he looks pissed

omfg lol

“um”

“i guess this is okay”

the body language in this is gold i am just having the time of my life

adsfdgfhgjhgfk

this is so cute

also in retrospect, i think this is one of the turrets we see on promethea. i wonder what it’s doing here!

moze u ok?

oh nvm she’s into it, look at her! she’s dancing! She’s Dancin’!

oooo one of the robots from the we are mayhem trailer! okay you can totally see why i think they’re jakobs, RIGHT???

iirc this is a maliwan soldier

man this is a crossover event, isn’t it?

i get it now. togetherness. i gotchu gearbox.

some maliwan ships in the sky. possibly sanc-iii on the right? or a ship of the same model as sanc-iii!

this is a magitek dropship, change my mind

eh, they both start with M, fuck it.

no idea what fl4k is doing here

mayyyybe shielding themselves from the ‘firework’/confetti shower

i like that the confetti explosions are backed up by purple, you know like eridium/slag/siren powers. seriously, maybe this is just how to cultists see us Vault Hunters and the mass murder.

at the very least, the psychos.

fl4k’s into it. i wish we knew the name of their skag, if it has one. i hope it does.

well now the lasers are coming from the other side! what the hell

moving on

i think this is the HBC from the speakers, plus im pretty sure that skull and the stained glass are the entrance to mouthpiece’s arena

we also get a different colored explosion. im paranoid jack is somehow making a return (please god no), so i’ll just note it’s the same color as his eyes.

AND the chests are vomiting out gold guns, which i think, gold-plated gear, is the cult’s way of signifying standing. which im sure is a tongue-in-cheek commentary as gearbox gives out a gold weapon pack as a pre-order bonus. no, like, it even shows up as an ad on the video

smh gearbox lmao

oh, also, the cultists are doing fuckin flying impressions

im not saying its a reference to the cultist with rakk wings on the cover, buuuut

bitch it might be lol

it’s an upside-down vault symbol! ive been trying to figure out what that is in those screens for the longest time!

back on promethea and we get to see fl4k’s spiderant in action

their skag, too, of course

the jabbermon in the back there, too! i wonder if they’re going to be shock or cryo. i would imagine shock given how they’re glowing

also i love the way the flowers look in contrast to the character models

moze is so happy aw

i love the way fl4k’s skag comes flying in and slides to a stop. such a good doggo ;-;

this is beautiful, i want it as a wallpaper

moze skipping? holy shit

100% verified the best thing i’ve ever seen

i lied. this is.

is this the fast travel station effect?

also! IB is looking a bit different

i wonder if this is a redesign or if IB is wearing a new skin moze picked out

pan over to zane who clearly doesn’t notice the being of darkness and horror in the doorway

oh also, we’re on eden-6 now. which would explain the fast travel effect

psychos dancing on the rooftops lol

oh god my eyes

nothing to really say here, i just like this screenshot

pink shields booyah

this is so fucking cute

we also get a better look at that one facility on eden-6

is that... red i see? >w> i won’t say it i won’t i won’t say it i swear i just- ATLAS

fuck

i like that zane’s clone spawns with his melee attachment

not AS excited as the real life version though

GB pls let this be a zane emote

is that a varkid? on eden-6?

wtf is a varkid doing on eden-6???

more shots of the facility btw. reminds me a lot of sanc-iii so maybe this actually is the supamax mfg construction facility like i originally thought. hmmmmmmm

ah yes, of course

holy shit what is this a reference to?

im told it’s the sex pistols

the back of the bullet turns into Athenas

pans in

amara!

enemy with a top hat on. some variation of/upgraded gravedigger? it’s like a psycho but recolored with blue pants and a top hat. you can see it fall off when amara shoots him

y’know, these guys

some rakk in the background

i am hoping bc this is a celebration of togetherness we’re seeing all enemies everywhere, not that the planets don’t have their own unique fauna.

she’s so happy omfg

oh, you want some?

Uhhh then there’s THIS sequence

they’re doing the flying thing again lmao

there’s also whatever that black blob is on the left. a spaceship maybe?

car wheel

all their eyes started glowing red. uh oh gamers

also another fast travel effect

hmmmm... zarpedon is that you??

back on pandora.

“super 87 racetrack”, maybe this is near that motorcade fast travel we saw?

huzzah! rainbows!

i do believe that’s sanctuary-iii

another ship. drop ship?

elpis is looking nice this time of year. definitely not explode-y. yet.

pret-ty sure that’s iron bear. moze is standing atop the tower lmao

also! back to it’s old paint scheme. looks like moze was using a skin or smth

we also have this. are my eyes failing me or is that a big cross on the left? could be where jack was buried. 

also i know there was cut content in bl2 about Mount Jackmore! and this looks like a Mount Jackmore to me. it’s a cut quest where claptrap asks you to basically ruin the thing. but since the quest was cut, it’s still here in bl3. maybe they’ll reintegrate the quest lol

i can’t imagine it being roland’s gravesite. because it looks like the below.

i do know we’re going to roland’s grave in bl3, but the statues don’t really match up. maybe it is and the statues were broken, or ruined or something and replaced by a cross. could be then that the gravesite was defaced with, well, the guy that killed him. 

im really hoping jack doesn’t make a return. im fine with dealing with what he set in motion, and his influence, and probably even some ECHO logs and movie trailers, but please, for the love of god, don’t actually bring him back, AI or otherwise. im really excited for the calypso twins, i’d really hate to see the focus shift back to that guy. he’s had his fingers in every borderlands game. it’s time to let him go.

idk what this is exactly. it looks like maybe that weird eye bot troy stands next to in the intro for the behind closed doors panel?

goodbye mr magical jakobs chest, it’s been real

the RC now has red drapes going down it. have those always been there? i don’t remember those

hmmmmmmmmm maybe we’re looking at it from the back 🤔

anyway, that’s all she wrote. i haven’t see any hidden morse code messages or anything yet, but if something surfaces, i’ll be sure to add it here.

[jimlingss]

I can't believe you ended chp 16 of Jp like that...i want to fight 😭

if you fight me, i’m guaranteed to be hospitalized ((look at these noodle arms)) and then who will post the next chapter on Monday? uh huuuh, that’s what I thought. Think twice before you wanna square up. (ง •̀_•́)ง

I am now answering spoiler-y messages below, so beware....

[SPOILER ALERT] 

*SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**!SPOILER ALERT!*

Massive spoilers to come, please do not read if you have not yet read Jungle Park Chapter 16. Or go ahead and read if you’re chaotic like that.

Anonymous said: ok but what if oc and Hoseok were actually engaged....

I’m an idiot, anon - I accidentally deleted your ask before I copied it correctly lol oops, but ding ding ding! correct! you’re a winner!! i believe you sent me this message like 2 chapters ago and honestly you freaked me out by how accurate you were. dammit, I might’ve been too predictable, but you catch on quick. sorry i couldn’t answer sooner hahaha i couldn’t risk other people jumping on the same theory. you’re a genius tho, i’ll give you props for it.

Anonymous said: DATED!FOR 4 YEARS! ENGAGED! Omg wow shit really hit the fan like there is no coming back omg Wowoowoeoeoeooew I’m SHOOK like I never expected that like NEVER!!!

Anonymous said:I KNEW IT!!! i had a feeling it was either a really long relationship or they were engaged at one point. TURNS OUT IT WAS BOTH omg gahdhsjxbjsjs I'm so excited to see this all just unravel omgomgomgomg

kawaii-ing said: FhbsjshJuxYhUgrnziVJgdjsbdud JUNGLE PARK CHAPTER 16 JUST WRECKED ME YO 😱😱😱😱😱 HE KNOWS AND SHE DOESNT KNOW HE KNOWS IM SO CURIOUS FOR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW Btw lovvvveeee your writing, thanks for all your hard work boo xxx💜💜

ASDFGHJKL I SAID SHIT WOULD HIT THE FAN AND I FOLLOWED THROUGH, RIGHT?? AREN’T YOU PROUD! THERE’S NO CLICKBAIT ON THIS BLOG HAHAHA 

Anonymous said: omgg 4 years? ENGAGED?? I’m ??? jut WHAT happened

:O :O

Anonymous said: BROOOOOOO! THEY WERE ENGAGED :o *insert Pikachu meme*

pikachu meme?? hahaha is that a sarcastic surprise? so you weren’t actually? lolololol :O

Anonymous said: Ahh I loved jungle park 16!! I'm so excited for the angst to come 👀 is hoseok's car accident related to oc at all?

hmm guess you’ll have to wait and see ((but also just putting it out there that if it was related that would be pretty makjang and lol im not about that life with this series))

Anonymous said: (1)oh holy hell Kina,,,my head’s hurting bcs of JP:16. ENGAGED what?? huh. now its one of my fav chapters, like 4-6 (ah those innocent cute baby steps in hoseok’s&oc’s relationship,,,not THIS). but freaking FINALLY someone spilled the beans. i love this kind of scenes, THE truth revelation. chang’s unaware of storm hes causing with his words, hoseok’s world’s simply crushing, oc doesnt know yet whats happening&dae is helplessly watching from sidelines trying to stop the catastrophe&failing

Anonymous said:(2)thats sad. i kinda can imagine what hoseoks feeling now, plagued w question that almost no one’s willing to answer, that drive him crazy.what happened? why did oc hide the truth? what did i do, how bad did we hurt each other? why can’t i remember any of it fuck. its a perfect opportunity for insecurities&ugly thoughts&inner demons to poison his mind. and oc...her house of cards collapsed revealing things she was trying hard to escape. will she feign ignorance again or will she finally face it

Anonymous said:(3)i just hope that in the end after this storm theyll reach their own peace, whatever the outcome will be. past stays in past, but only if every issue is resolved. otherwise it might return later&be worse than before. it was a great chapter. thank you — chem

THE BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILLED!!! honestly the universe is in chaos right now lol Hoseok’s like the fuck....and oc doesn’t even know lol but yeah it’s definitely a sad situation for almost all parties. there’s still more to be revealed tho, like the actual details of what the fuck went on haha anyways, i’m glad you’re enjoying it!

Anonymous said: AAHHHHH ITS FINALLY HERE!! Thank you 💞💞. Wow it was truly a lot and honestly, I feel kinda scared for Hoseok... it’s crazy that he really doesn’t remember anything and learning all this new information is like being in another word. If this story wasn’t one about love and fluff, it could’ve totally turned into a horror story lol. Thank you again and I’m very excited to see where the story goes!!

a horror? can’t say im very good at the genre but that’s definitely an interesting concept....the more i think about it....like for someone to go through something suppper traumatic and not remember at all and someone appears in their life but it turns out that someone was actually the serial killer? dammmmn that would be really interesting. i digress, thank you for enjoying it. definitely Hoseok is lost, scared, confused.

Anonymous said: SHIT’S 🗣 HITTING 🗣 THE 🗣 FAN 🗣 omg *insert “she’s meditating” “she’s dead” meme* and the fact that this is just the beginning??? how?? what?? i’m honestly so skek for the next chapter like i dont think hoseok’s gonna go apeshit on yn but you never know now do you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ superb chapter for reals!!!! like, all of your writing is great but this chapter?? *chef’s kiss* didnt even know i was an angst fan until this chapter lol sending all my love to you!!! - chanting anon

hahhahahahhahaha there’s a lot more to unravel. now the puzzle has been exposed, we gotta start looking at the details. thank you for the message *throws chef’s kiss back* also welcome to the angst realm lol

Anonymous said: finals starts at the 20th and school ends in the 24th and we're still at chap 1 on our research. Due to stress, i thought, hey, might as well read the latest chapter bUT WHO KNEW IT WOULD BRING ME MORE STRESS. FOUR YEARS?! ENGAGED?! i feel like hoseok right now. You make such awesome stories and worlds. It affects me in so many good ways i cant even. i dont always give you my thoughts per chapter but i want you to know that i scream at every single one of them. have a nice day! - anon h.a.n.d.

oh my goodness!!! good luck on your exams!! hahah im sorry the chapter isn’t very much comfort food and kind of more wild but still happy you enjoyed it! 

Anonymous said: PT. 15 & 16?! WHAT. I COME BACK TO TWO CHAPTERS. HOLY COW. but really, like now that I know what I know, I’m so sad. I wonder what their relationship was like. That’s a lot of time to invest in someone and for it to fall apart like that... I couldn’t imagine what OC had to go through. I’m sad BUT THE DEVELOPMENT IS MAKING ME SO FREAKIN EXCITED. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US SOME ANSWERS ABOUT THE PAST. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW MUCH ELSE HE FINDS OUT.

I KNOW RIGHT?? LIKE FOUR YEARS IS A FUCKING LONG TIME. then again that was like 8 years ago. but yeah, it’s sad for both oc and Hoseok, y’know? I’M GLAD YOU’RE EXCITED!!!

Anonymous said: Great Jungle Park chapter! I'm pissed because SOMEONE SPOILED IT and i saw they were engaged before i could even click on the 'read more',,, but great chapter! I wish i could've read it without knowing, it kinda made me sad and it was not as great as it could have been.. @people spoiling, fuck off >:(( @you you're the best writer ily u nice keep going!! Can't wait to have Hoseok's full mind process over how crazy it is he doesn't remember 4 YEARS and an ENGAGEMENT (and only 2 dates huhu)

haha chill, anon. did you actually know that spoilers can make someone enjoy a story more? it’s actually a really interesting thing to google and find out more about. the chapter’s still the same whether you had an inkling of what was going on or not. you still enjoyed it too, right?  :D 

Anonymous said: CRAP OK, well, we knew it was something more than two days, but HONESTLY lol I love how you wrote y/n trying to keep it together. I could feel her fear as she lost control of the situation when Hoseok showed up. Do you think in her mind she even slightly expected him to show up? I'm assuming she's very internal w/ her thoughts/feelings seeing as she doesn't talk to anyone about what happened between her & Hobi all those years ago nor has she dealt w/ it, mostly just avoided it, would you say?

oh yeah oc was on the verge of a mental breakdown when he showed up rofl, damn near scared her. he was basically like a jumpscare LOL. but yeah for sure she didn’t expect him to come. i mean she basically told him and he was like ‘ok whatever’ and didn’t express interest and it’s not like he got an invite so she didn’t know he would actually go out of his way to show up. and yeah i agree, oc’s very internal with her feelings, or at least what happened all those years ago. it’s sensitive issues anyway that she’s left behind. or at least tried to.

tofugguk said: BROOO i LITERALLY— LITERALLY LOST IT. WHEN CHANGSUB DROPPED THEM BEING TOGETHER FOR LIKE FOUR YEARS THEN THE- “You guys even got engaged.” PART I SCREAMED. YOOOOO I CANTTT HANDLE THIS

Changsub isn’t the dumbass that we wanted. But the dumbass we needed.

((don’t you love how oc tried so hard to keep it a secret for like 16 chapters aka like near a year and some idiot comes trapezing in and in his first scene he just spills all the beans??? hahahha))

[essiefreds]

… so… this may or may not be a thing? We’re gonna see how people respond to it, I guess, and then maybe it’ll continue as a series? 

I don’t expect it to go well, because uh, I don’t have any idea how to write Steve Rogers as a character, and I feel as though there are some topics that could arise in this series that I might not know how to handle, so… 

(It’s a thing): 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18,  Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22

Word Count: 2147

Tagged (if you’d like to be added to this list, btw, just send me a message and let me know!): @hotemotionalmess

“We need you to talk to him.“ 

You blinked at Nick Fury. Not only had you never been addressed directly by the head of SHIELD, you had never been in the same room as him. Now, here he was, standing in front of you, his arms hanging by his side, and a sincere expression on his face. 

"Uh… wait,” you said, deciding that it made sense to clear up this request he was bestowing on you before simply agreeing. After all, just because he was Director Fury didn’t mean that you were going to do everything he said. 

Especially something like this. 

“So… you want me to… befriend the man who has been trapped in ice for seventy years, in the hopes that… what? He’ll… decide to join society?" 

Fury lifted his shoulders. "Basically.”

“And why me?” you queried, frowning. 

“You have a way,” Fury said, as though that answered your question in the slightest. “Anyway, the sooner you can figure it out, the better, because we need him to, uh, not consider anything other than rejoining society.”

You did not have to ask him to elaborate on what he meant by that. Your experience with war veterans gave you a pretty solid understanding on the euphemisms of suicide. 

“All right,” you said, carefully, “but… if I don’t manage to get him to like me, then what?" 

"Well, we’re not incredibly worried about him,” the Director of SHIELD responded, “but we know that he must feel very lonely, and rather helpless. We’re not positive that he’ll accept you as a friend, but we also don’t think he’ll flat-out deny someone wanting to help him integrate back into society.” He offered you an expression that might have been reassuring, had he been anyone other than Nick Fury. “You’ll do fine.”

Again, he hadn’t answered your question, but hey, what were you supposed to do about it? He was your boss, after all. 

You’d joined SHIELD after an invitation had reached you in your tiny apartment in New York, which you rented through the funding you received from your job at the hospital as a receptionist. Although no one had ever told you how they’d figured out who you were, and what you did, you thought that you’d adjusted well to your position in SHIELD. Handling panicking people was something you were good at, and, more often than not, there was a panicking person, or group of people, for you to deal with on a regular basis. 

Aside from that, however, you were also extremely good at helping people who’d been through hell and had somehow gotten out of it, only to continue to be faced with it in their daily lives through nightmares and panic attacks. It was a skill you’d developed through extreme sensitivity that your mother often called psychic, and through your work with war veterans that passed through the hospital. You’d also created a group for them, at the nearby retirement community, where many were spending the remainder of their lives. 

It was because of this, you supposed, that Nick Fury had approached you to help with Steve Rogers, who’d recently been unearthed like a fossil or something. Although you’d never been one to read comic books, you knew who he was, who he had been, at any rate. 

You did not ask, but you wondered if Director Fury hoped to bring back who Steve Rogers had been, although for what purpose, you did not know. A back-up plan, in case aliens tried to take over the Earth, or something. 

Even with your experience, however, you did not have any idea how to handle a ninety-year-old man who looked and had the physicality of a twenty-year-old, especially one who had at one moment been in the 1940’s, and in the next had been thrown into the 21st century. 

It was going to be something new. 

“He’s been living in a facility that we’ve created to model the 1940’s,” Fury told you as he led you down one of the many hallways of one of the buildings that SHIELD owned. “We meant for it to help him adjust to what’s happened, but I don’t know how well it’s worked." 

"Right,” you said. Your mind was reeling. You’d put yourself into the shoes of many victims of trauma, but never before had you had to help someone who had been asleep for seventy years adjust to the new life that they were suddenly faced with. So much had changed since the ‘40’s, so many things, in fact, that you doubted you’d be able to think of them all, in order to help him adjust. 

Again, you weren’t positive that this was going to go well. 

It was too late, however, to back out. Fury would not have come to you, specifically, if he did not think you had at least some chance of making this work.

You supposed that out of many of your coworkers, you did have the best chance. 

Still. 

Director Fury paused outside a door down a bland hallway, and nodded to it. “We’ve had people check on him every hour or so since he defrosted, but he hasn’t been the most responsive to them,” he said. “So, first thing’s first -”

“Get him to respond to me,” you concluded. Fury dipped his head. You exhaled, and faced the door. “Sure. I can do this.”

“Good attitude,” Fury praised, and then he patted you on the shoulder. “And good luck.”

You nodded, and listened as he walked away. He did not leave the hallway entirely, you noticed. 

After taking a moment to center yourself, to calm your thoughts, you lifted your fist, and knocked politely on the door. 

You were incredibly surprised when, after a minute, it opened from the other side. 

Holy shit this man’s arms are the size of tree trunks.

So, needless to say, your first impression of Captain Steve Rogers was probably not the most profound. 

Luckily, you were good at pulling yourself together, and you quickly held out your hand towards the gorgeous figure that had opened the door. 

“Hello, Captain Rogers,” you said, offering a smile. “My name is Y/N.”

The moment you knew that helping Steve Rogers would be a wonderful experience was when he shook your hand, and said, “Pleasure to meet you, ma'am.”

You were almost positive you stood there, holding his hand and blinking at him like an idiot for at least two minutes, but he did not seem bothered. In fact, if anything, he seemed amused, especially when you finally realized that it was time to let go of his hand, and quickly dropped your own to your side. 

“I just… I’d heard that you were… well, here, and I wanted to know how you’re doing,” you said, hoping that you didn’t sound too much like you were stammering. “I mean, I don’t have any clue what it must be like for you, obviously, but I’d like to understand, so that I can help you in anyway I can.”

Captain Rogers’s amused expression faded, and he tilted his head, moving slightly so that he blocked the entrance way to his living space. “You don’t need to lie to me, ma'am,” he said, and you furrowed your brows, slightly. “I know that I’ve been causing troubles for the nice people of SHIELD, and that they want me to get a move on with reentering the world. It doesn’t need to be sugar coated for me.”

Okay. So, he understands that he needs to reinsert himself. That’s a good start.

“That’s true,” you said, calmly smiling once more, “but, like I said, I’m here to help you with that. I’m not just another person who’s been sent to check on you, make sure you’re trying. I’m here to help you try.” You paused, and then tilted your head, mimicking him. “Could I come in?" 

When he did not reply, immediately, you gestured down the hall. "Or you could come out, instead. We could go get something to eat?" 

"No,” he said, almost immediately, and you lifted an eyebrow. “Here’s fine. Come in, please.” He stepped out of the way of the door, and you sidled past him into the living space on the other side, already knowing that you had plenty of work to do. 

The living space was the same size of a small apartment. In fact, it was bigger than the apartment that you’d been living in, actually. There was a bedroom, with a bathroom attached, and a small kitchen that was in the same space a a living room of sorts. Looking at the furniture, including the TV and kitchen appliances, you saw that SHIELD had done everything it could to give Captain Rogers a 1940’s feel. 

The TV was a boxy, clunky thing. Next to the ragged looking couch was a square side table, on which sat a boxy radio. The lamp in the corner of the room had a very ugly shade on it. The carpet was atrocious, as was the tile in the kitchen. The appliances themselves were green. 

“They wanted it to feel like I was at home,” Captain Rogers said from behind you, seeing that you’d paused to take everything in. “It was nice of them." 

"Yeah, definitely,” you agreed, turning to watch him as he entered the kitchen, and opened the outdated fridge. You were honestly surprised that these things worked. He looked at you. 

“Would you like some water? It’s all I have." 

"Sure,” you said. “Thank you.”

You moved to sit down on the couch, and winced as a stray spring immediately dug up into your ass cheek. They couldn’t have given him at least a slightly comfortable couch? The radio was on, although it was only buzzing, softly; no music came from its single speaker. 

When Captain Rogers joined you, holding a glass of water, you nodded towards the radio, taking the glass from him. “No music?" 

He managed a small smile, one that looked almost sheepish. "I don’t really like the music that you have here,” he explained. 

“Oh,” you said. Obviously. “But, you like background noise?" 

"Sorry.” He immediately moved to turn the radio off, with the same ease you’d use to turn off a cell phone. “I just - it’s something that’s at least sort of similar to how the radio was. Static.”

You took a sip of your water, wondering how hard it would be to find a record player and some vinyls with ‘40’s music on them. After a period of time, you realized that Captain Rogers had not joined you on the couch, and you looked up at him. 

“Are you… not sitting down for a reason?" 

He let out a chuckle that sounded a bit forced. "It’s a small sofa,” he said, gesturing to it. 

Confused, but deciding to let him do what was most comfortable, you set the glass of water down on the table that the radio sat on, and looked at him. “So,” you began, “talk to me, Captain." 

"About what, ma'am?" 

"About you,” you said, gesturing. You smiled. “And I don’t mean Captain America. I mean you. Who is Steven Rogers? What was his life like?" 

For a moment, he was silent, and you wondered, briefly, if he didn’t quite understand why you wanted to know about him. 

Before you could say anything else, however, he spoke: "Was." 

You frowned, a little. "Was?" 

"You said, "What was his life like?”,“ he explained, his eyes trained on the floor. "Everyone else always talks in the present tense." 

You forced your shoulders to relax. This wasn’t going the way you’d hoped it would, so far, but you decided to just… stick with it. "Well, there’s really no sense in living in the past, is there?” you asked him. “I mean, you’re here now, and although there’s plenty of things from your old life that you can keep with you, and you can even be the same Steve Rogers that you were… there’s also things that you’re going to have to accept, and the fact that you’re in the 21st century is one of them." 

His gaze lifted, and met yours. God, his eyes were blue. "Easier said than done, don’t you think?" 

"Most things are,” you replied, easily. “And besides, you don’t have to do it alone, now.” You grinned at him. “I’m here to help.”

A moment of silence passed. For a scarily long second, you thought that maybe he was going to tell you to leave. 

Instead, he smiled back. “It is always easier doing something with a little help,” he admitted. “That’s something I’ve come to learn, anyway.”

You relaxed for real, this time. “Good,” you said. “Glad we can agree on that, at least.” You crossed your legs at the knee. “So, Captain -” you started, again. “What was your life like?”