#It's just depressing. Like there's no point in experimenting because the fuck-off sword everyone uses really is just better to use

[dreamii-yume]

New Episode Update Let’s GOO!!!

Warning : This is just Yume having a mental breakdown, seriously. This episode update was WHACK.

~ MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 68-75 ~

I know we ain’t participating and all but the game reminding you that there’s 10 minutes left to prepare is seriously bad for my heart.

Aah, shiet. Vil is still hurt.

He still has small wounds and scratches that he hid make up. Daddy, I’m worried.

Apparently, yeah, I’m not the only one cause my homeboy, Epel just asked to switch the center role with Vil. THE CONFIDENCE.

Aw, he’s worried about him falling over during stage (And make the performance look bad) Come on, Epel just be honest-

...He finally became the ideal poisoned apple that Vil wanted, huh?

Vil being proud a mom.

But the queen inside him is STRONG.

He’ll embrace the villain in him, OUR QUEEN CAN STILL GO. INJURED, WHO?

...AAND he proceeds to roast Epel again lol Typical Vil.

I love how Epel just accepted a nickname like “Doku Ringo-chan” lol It’s so cute, senior-junior relationship goals right there.

HERE WE GO.

Everyone is actually really confident hahaha

I really wish Deuce’s mom, Ace’s brother, Jamil’s sister, and Vil’s dad were here in person to watch.

HECK I WANT KALIM’S WHOLE FAMILY HERE WHY NOT

T-THEY’RE REALLY LETTING US HEAR THE FULL SONG. 

IS THAT JAMIL RAPPING.

Look at Jamil’s solo SD dancing. LOOK AT IT.

I really fucking love Vil’s singing voice aaa

HIS VOICE IS SO GOOD.

Album when disney.

Is Vil okay.

...aight im hearing some high quality panting here

...dont mind me listening to it a bit too much...

...they’re going to be great reference for some spicy- leave me alone

Vil panting is making me feel SOMETHING.

ANYWAY. THE CROWD IS A MOOD.

IS VIL OKAY.

Unmei no megami is giving me idia ptsd here.

Heartslabyul Senpais are watching their kids, looking all proud *sniff

Oh god, after playing Obey Me, it just occurred to me how similar Cater and Asmodeus’ voices are...

Watch these Senpai dorks act like Ace and Deuce’s second family. Trey being the dad, Riddle being the mom, and Cater being the supportive big bro. It’s so beautiful.

Riddle’s voice is a lot more softer now, I just realized...It’s so soothing...

God i miss u too octavinelle never change

Yeah, why tf did Floyd not audition for this

Bro, can you imagine Nobuhiko Okamoto in the squad as well??? IMAGINE-

Of course, he wasn’t in the mood back then. Of course. Why did i even ask.

IMAGINE FLOYD BEING IN VDC NEXT YEAR.

Omg i miss u too octavinelle never change

Azul’s gonna overblot again with Floyd’s marketing skills lol

Jade coming in like welp i guess thats that. Too bad, huh Azul?

GOD i miss u too octavinelle never change

SAVANA BITCHES HI

I wonder if these mfs knew that Vil just overblotted and malmal was the one who fixed the stage lol

oooh Leona’s sus about something he a sharp boi

Speak up my guy—

still so weird leona taking his job seriously

Malleus looking happier seeing this performance rather than Lilia’s lol

I miss the simpery in Sebek

Silver’s not in the verge of falling into a coma for once wow

Chenya’s so cute.

AND WE’RE BACK TO CUTE HEIGH HO TEAM

fcking shotacons man...im not one to talk

Aw, they didn’t show Neige performance...

The simping in the crowd is a MASSIVE mood.

WHO WINS TELL ME

These night raven fuckers better vote for us and not pull a “oh shie my hand slipped lololol” i swear to god- im gonna throw hands

*me holding my phone and pretending to vote as well

Suspense music intensifies be like-

HAAA

BOIS, ITS ONE VOTE DIFFERENCE WHO IS IT AAAA

WHAT.

HOW DARE- HOW!? HOW DID WE LOSE!?

WE LOST BY ONE VOTE!?

EVERYONE’S SO SHOCKED LOL

vil pls dont overblot again-

Noooo grim’s tuna cans-

WE REALLY LOST TO A LEGIT KIDS SONG.

These children do not have the right to be this cute. I wanna take Timmy, Toby, and Shelpie home.

I swear to god one of these dwarves sounds like Cheka lol Is it Toby?

EPEEELLLL DONT CRRYYYY

KALIMMMM DONT CRRYYYY

KALIM HAVING THE AUDACITY TO SOUNDING LIKE A BIG BROTHER AND THEN CRYING HIS OWN RIGHT AFTER LOLOLOL

I HATE THIS EPISODE YALL MADE MY TWO BOIS CRY IM FIGHTING THIS EPISODE. BURN THIS.

This background music too though im deeeeddd

KALIM IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING A SINFIC ABOUT YOU PLS DONT CRY-

Jamil impressed about Vil being “calm” and Vil just going “h e h. you dont even know.”

....ha...

Monsieur Rook. WHAT did you say.

ROOK VOTED FOR ROYAL SWORD. Are you kidding me. You snek how could you- i loved you

WHAT DID I SAY- Ya’ll night raven fuckers shall not slip by their fingers when voting rook.

Vil is in the brink of passing out aaaaa

I have never heard Ace this pissed before whoa- lol he sounds like Deuce in his delinquent mode

Aw...Rook felt that Neige’s performance carries a stronger bond than theirs :’( it’s hard to put the blame on him when he’s saying all these stuff

It’s just like what they said in the past episodes that it’s really hard voting for your own team when you know the opposing team is better.

Aww...He just wanted Vil to believe in himself more...Rook is such a best man. Im crying-

Oh noooo is Vil gonna cry too nooo- daddy turned to baby really quick SOMEONE GIVE HIM AN EMERGENCY HUG

Well- at least...at least the 100 year record of not being able to win is still going, yeah? Um...bad joke? Sorry, i’ll see myself out-

NEIGE NOT NOW AND YOUR VII-KUN BULLSHIT- we’re having a moment here

Neige is such sweetheart but aaaahh— This makes it worse, we can’t even hate him aaa—

OMG JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDN’T- AAAAA

MONSIEUR ROOK. YOU’RE A FAN OF NEIGE!?

MOTHERFUCKER just got exposed by Neige himself lol

Going to Neige’s shake hand events, sending him letters, buying all his merch and shie- HE’S A FULL BLOWN NEIGE STAN

WTF YOU SNEK GET OUT OF THIS SCHOOL-

OOOOHHH THAT FUCKING ALBUM- HIS “LIFE’S WORK” or whatever bullshit IS FULL OF NEIGE

...actually- my japanese is lacking- im not sure lol what is a ブロマイド??? Lol I feel like a clown.

Rook is sweating profusely LOL

...what do you have to say for yourself, monsieur rook.

Wait- huh is that-

IS HE GONNA CRY-

WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING!??!?!?!

HE’S SILENTLY CRYING AS HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO NEIGE WHAT. THE. FUCK IS THIS EPISODE.

Neige fanclub??? Eternal Snow??? What kind of creepy-ass- OH, HE EVEN HAS A MEMBERSHIP NUMBER TOO-

Props to Neige with his :) expression unfaltering.

I’m- I’m speechless.

Vil is just looking down at Rook in disappointment like- “you’re more pathetic than I am”

Queen just went “I think you need this handkerchief more than I do now” THAT’S RIGHT. REPENT MOTHERFUCKER.

Rook crying is cursed.

But damn, I’m kinda liking this new relationship this bitchy relationship they have

Neige just dragged everyone’s ass back on stage and his snow white energy just said “LETS ALL BE FRIENDS AND SING”

NEIGE IS FUCKING GREAT- HE REALLY DID GOT THESE BITCHES TO SING HEIGH HO LOL

ACE’S RELUCTANT SINGING AND DEUCE LOOKING LIKE HE’S HAVING FUN

KALIM IS SUCH A MOOD, SINGING EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING THE LYRICS AND JAMIL JUST HAVING THAT “i want to die” ENERGY

AIGHT. ROOK IS HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN AND EPEL IS TRYING HIS BEST. HE’S SO CUTE-

OMG NEIGE AND VIL HAVING SUCH GOOD HARMONY—

YAHOO Y A H O O TANOSHIINDA~~ 

YA’LL SURE ABOUT GIVING ME THIS BLESSED MOMENT??

What a somewhat happy ending, even though Rook just backstabbed us I’m crying Beauté 100 points!!!

LOL Vil realizing he’s having fun singing with Neige- “SOMEONE JUST END ME RIGHT NOW-“ The desperation in his voice-

I love how Neige’s yahoo yahoo is messing with everyone’s head, even Vil wants to pass out lol

haha Crowley is so depressed lol

WHA- WHO-

HEADMASTER OF ROYAL SWORD!?

He looks like your typical grandpa- and his outfit looks like that one mickey mouse wizard outfit but blue—

Old man just went “we won lol” just to piss Crowley off I like this guy’s energy already-

Crowley being most likely as old as this guy—

ooohh this man just sensed something in this stage- Leona did too, didn’t he???

* Damn. Crowley talking so fast sounds like he’s making a load of bullshit lol

Anyway, I’m just glad that it’s not mickey mouse who’s the headmaster— I would’ve lost my shit.

We’re back in our dorms and I forgot that the squad doesn’t live with us anymore. It’s suddenly so lonely now...

Grim is getting the yahoo yahoo ptsd too lol it’s too goddamn catchy

oooohh shiet- mickey is calling us again

YES we finally got a good picture of this motherfucker

It seems like nothing is disrupting our communication this time, so MC thought to call Grim but—

Grim is not here.

Uuhhh...Grim? Where you’ve gone??? We’re getting flashbacks of the first parts of the game.

We went out to find Grim and HE’S CHOMPING ON ANOTHER BLACK STONE ON THE STAGE-

GRIM SPIT THAT OUT YOU LOOK TERRIFYING

AAAAAHH GRIM HAS GONE FERAL— He’s attacking US

Is this because we didn’t win his tuna canss nooo

NoOO SWEET BABY COME BACK.

Legit I’m sad, please baby don’t overblot like this...

He learned a new move though- SCRATCH

Ooh— We’re seeing some Ignihyde scenes here~

P U H I H I

Idia getting a lot of emails from bigshot companies whoa—

THAT OLYMPUS—?! EXCUSE ME??? Ortho what- Are we finally getting that Hercules episode—

Damn getting a hot chance in olympus only to put them down the recycling bin oof— Idia why edit : Yume was informed that olympus is kind of a company that sponsored VDC sorry she was mind-fucked at this moment and the ability to understand proper Japanese just went whoosh lol Thanks to @starshiningsirius for pointing it out for Yume~ ♥︎ HONESTLY YUME’S JUST GONNA WAIT FOR ACTUAL PROFESSIONAL TRANSLATORS AT THIS POINT LOL Don’t trust me for important situation too much lol

Aaaahh...We’re getting this shut-in out of his room in the next episode, are we?

And that concludes the whole Pomefiore Episode! JESUS CHRIST 75 CHAPTERS ALL IN ALL!? How long is the Ignihyde chapter going to be, huh!?

This was a really, really fun episode lol I’d consider this a fan service episode actually cause of all the things we get to experience— The singing, dancing, and the new songs, THE DRAMA. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

But then, the plot thickens, no? What’s going to happen to Grim? In the Ignihyde episode? And those reoccurring memories of us? And our relationship with Tsunotarou lol ALSO WE NEVER REALLY DID FIND OUT WHAT ROOK’S UNIQUE MAGIC IS. DISNEY EXPLAIN—

Thanks for reading this shitpost of Yume losing her shiet lol See you all in the Ignihyde Episode~ ❤

[manicr]

X-Factor: Daken

Since I did a development analysis on Daken in X-Men Blue, it feels only reasonable to do one for X-Factor, especially considering the the latest issue (#8). I had thoughts that I articulated in the tags, but I think I should try to put them together and look at Daken as a character in the whole of X-Factor.

Firstly, Daken isn’t recruited into the team, he persistently volunteers despite the objections of the team. He is presented passed out on the bar floor, drinking to deal with his feelings. Word of God states he’s depressive again and Laura being in the Vault is a big factor in that. Daken later confesses that he’s been “playing nice”, implying what he did was trying to be good and finding it a role, rather than natural.  His drive to join the team seems to be desperate to distract himself from his negative feelings, needing purpose and preoccupation.

However, very in-character, he excuses himself with flippant commentary, and the fact that he finds Aurora attractive:

He, as in XMB, makes himself useful to the team with his powers and instincts, despite them not being welcoming of his presence. He persists and tries to reach out to them, even if only a little, like he’s learned to do with his sisters and what we saw in XMB. He even calls them out on their bullshit against him, and tries to “be good”. The team still doesn’t trust him, and are bothered both by his flirtatiousness and his past villainy.

He actively pursues Aurora and gets himself thrown out of Mojo-verse, however his interest isn’t just romantic/sexual, but he wants to solve what happened to her when she died. He knows she’s not telling everything. He tries to be kind and reach out to her, not forcing her to say, but curious -- maybe having his own hypothesis on what happened. He knows something is off, and can’t let it go. Seems to care enough to want to help her.

Now were three issues in and Daken has been trying his best to help, reach out and fit into a team that is not very welcoming or accepting of him. Aurora is a fixed point of interest for him, and he tries especially with her. She seems flattered by the attention at this point.

Then the X of Swords event happens, essentially without Daken though he fights in the background, and we get our first major time-jump. That jump seems noticeable in text, as there seems to be a greater comfort and trust in the team as a whole, not just towards Daken.

At a party in the Boneyard, Daken talks with Polaris, trusting her enough to ask her if the kindness he sees is real It is, and it’s a bit of an alien concept to him still. He equates it with lack of intelligence “simple-mindedness” or faking it as an act to get ahead/mask whatevers beneath. Polaris mentions his childhood trauma.

Daken also takes some ribbing from Lorna regarding his past and glum attitude, but laughs it off, but we get some foreshadowing through it. Daken’s trauma regarding snow is tied together in XF, harking to a Dark Wolverine era trauma of him  as a child being forced to ‘train’ in snow by Romulus. It’ll repeat itself in XF again.

We also get to see a little of what Daken does on his spare time, drawing with charcoal: having finally found some other outlet than fighting, fucking and drinking for his feelings.

He also reaffirms his interest in Aurora, as well as his familial affection for Polaris. He shows off growth in being able to have different types of affection, to have family that he cares for when back in his own series he refused social bonds like family (in ref. to the Fantastic 4) and saw them as based on fear, social obligation, and naivete.

Themes of being trapped, trauma and abuse are repeated in XF by different characters -- it applies to all of them in different ways. The letter “Why didn’t you just leave?” that speaks of this.

It echoes trauma that Daken needed to deal with himself under Romulus control -- even when he was physically away from him. His character arch has been to find himself, and not just flippantly in his eat-prey-killing comment, but also a way out of the trauma of abuse and making himself ‘smaller’ lesser to fit with the living weapon Romulus wanted. To find and dare to feel, to feel worthy, and not fear some punishment from his abuser. Of course, this applies to so many characters in X-F, both sub-textually and directly like with Siryn and Shatterstar.

One of the major relationship changes now in the book is Daken and Northstar’s relationship. Northstar confides and trusts in Daken as a team-mate from previously having refused it. Daken in turn takes his orders and seems to want that trust:

This culminates in Northstar rescuing Daken when he was trapped and beaten by the Morrigan. And according to Aurora, Northstar is behaving towards Daken as a person he doesn’t want to lose, by yelling for him and checking on him. He explicitly cares for Daken now, even with the protectiveness he still feels for Aurora. The dying in the snow theme repeats it self.

Then there is Daken and Auroras long conversation about his powers, her feelings and his feelings. He reveals the limits of his skills and she insists on understanding, which seems to make him feel better about it. She empathizes with the burden of his skills, seeing the drawbacks.

There’s a lot of subtext regarding his relationship with his own powers, he outwardly uses them shamelessly but at the same time this implies that it’s far more fumbling, uncertain and emotionally harrowing for him. And that he’s willing to see that and feel that rather than see it as his right to do whatever or refuse his powers utterly.

The Morrigan fight is overlayed with a speech about trauma, highlighting how it directly relates to Daken. He’s traumatized. He’s been abused. He’s been rewired to be dysfunctional, to hide his pain and the suffering. And it makes him feel worthless, unloved, and that no one cares, has never cared.

Later, Daken acknowledges how poorly he felt, how helpless, and how suicidal it made him feel. Even if he thinks its hypnosis rather than his own real feelings. His description fit in with depression and trauma-related issues, the feeling over never reaching shore, of drowning, and helplessness combined with the negative-self talk, that no one cares, loves him, or will be there for him since he’s worthless and a burden. But also how he looks to Aurora for comfort to deal with that.

Generally this issue irons out issues of consent, the genuineness of both their feelings as well as Daken being more like a real friend and family member to the team, but also about revealing his trauma. To show that he is not alright, despite his flippant flirty exterior. He struggles with his past, his trauma and his feelings about himself, and the belief that he deserves to be loved, cared for and to belong. This is repeated in issue #8 which hammers these themes home once more. Daken is not alright, but he wants to be.

This is growth from early Daken who didn’t even want to admit to himself that he was abused and molded by Romulus, and using rage and hurting others as a way of dealing with his own feelings, as well as using others and himself because it didn’t matter, he didn’t and no one else did either.

The in the snow theme is repeated and his fervent desire to be saved, from everything, himself as well as everything and everyone that might harm him. He seems to believe that being loved by Aurora will save him. Which is not the healthiest approach to dealing with trauma but a very common one, latching onto other people, because he doesn’t yet have the sense of self or self-worth to believe in it unless someone else does too. This for most people a necessary step towards growing and getting better.

He also is still stuck in the abuse-trauma-victim cycle and blaming himself for being harmed, seeing that he’s somehow not being good enough and that’s why he’s being hurt. “I’ll be good” are the words of someone who has been hurt over and over again by someone who made them believe they somehow deserved it. That they were ‘bad’ and needed to be punished.

...then he is faced with the fact that he truly does believe this about himself, that he’s not over it, that he’s not yet free or saved from the feelings that the trauma left behind.

But then... he dies, self-sacrificing to save his team mates and the information they carry, knowingly risking up to a week of his memory and experiences. He uses Aurora as a morality pet, to prompt himself into action, excessive such even.

He is resurrected without the memory of any of this to the point BEFORE Northstar came for him. He knows he lost that. He knows from reports that he lost things, even if not the extent of it, and now the hurt and pain from DAYS in the snow is fresh again, without any help from Aurora to process it nor knowing for certain that she loves him, without being proved that his team cares and came for him in the end. He might now the latter in paper, but that’s not the same emotionally speaking.

So, he’s angry. He knows he’s lost things, he’s been hurt and killed. But he doesn’t have the comfort of resolving these things with his team like he did, not with his habit of hiding his pain, and feeling like a burden. So he fights instead.

So, where have we ended up at the end of issue #8 of X-Factor?

Daken has been accepted by his team, because of all of HIS hard work, reaching out and kindness

Daken has opened up about his powers and his suffering (though lost half of it to the mind transfer time gap)

He has established a relationship with Aurora with clear consent, affection, but not yet full transparency of their mutual pasts (again some lost from his perspective)

He is starting to realize that he’s not yet ‘over’ his own trauma and that he’ll need to continue working on it (some lost)

Daken isn’t a perfect character nor perfectly written, he was abused and shaped by that abuse and trauma into something vicious, that he didn’t dare change from for a long time. Instead he tried to enjoy it, to revel in it, rather than face the pain and grow. He hurt and killed a lot of people, including himself, and it’s takes years of development for him to start to grow past that old self. Getting away from Romulus was only the first step.

He needed people to make him see how fucked up he was and to motivate him to be better, from Johnny back in Dark Avengers, then Laura and Gabby, and then trying on his own, attaching to Donna for a while, before teaming up with the X-Men and then X-Factor and Aurora as support for himself. It’s pretty clear that on his own, he can’t do it, he needs help, support, structure and purpose -- as do the majority of people. I’d also recommend therapy, but he’s not there yet.

One day he might stand on his own feet when it comes to feeling good about himself and managing his own life. But right now he’s in a place where he needs a strong support system, not just his family and lovers but also friends.

[sun-daddy-yoriichi]

Kimetsu no Yaiba Role - Reverse AU : Pillar Version

I’m not planning on this being long as all hell but let’s see if it gets out of hand or not :)

Sun Pillar : Yoriichi Tsugikuni

I ALMOST WASN’T GONNA INCLUDE HIM BUT I HAD TO-

My entire account is named after his come on have more faith in me.

Okay but I feel like the twins would get a lot of outside attention

Not because they’re Demon Slayers but because they’re hot as fuck

But that could also just be me

Nobody knows how or when Yoriichi learned Sun Breathing. It hasn’t been used in hundreds of years, and it’s supposed to be incredibly difficult to master, and he’s like twenty-five being able to wield it with complete ease.

Michikatsu thinks his brother is the most annoying thing ever

They spar constantly

Yoriichi thinks that Nezuko and Tanjirou are the cutest things ever, and Nezuko knowing what Dance of the Fire God is, is really only a huge plus.

The twins fight over who gets Nezuko as a tsuguko constantly.

Moon Pillar : Michikatsu Tsugikuni

Everyone’s favourite motherfucker y'know-

Jk we love him

His Moon Breathing is not like his Blood Demon Art at all, really. His Blood Demon Art was a corrupt form of his Breath Style. In actuality, his Breath Style is much finer and more graceful.

If I’ll be honest, his breath style is actually quite beautiful.

Like Breath of the Sun, his Breath of the Moon almost looks like a dance.

Michikatsu and Yoriichi fighting together is a sight to behold, and a force to be reckoned with.

If only Michikatsu could stand to be in the same room as his brother for more than five seconds at a time.

When he goes on missions, he tries to keep it as low-key as possible. He hates having people looking at him

And he’s not the type of person to fail on his missions at all. Which is why it was so surprising for the others to figure out that he had let the Kamado children go.

Mostly because Tanjirou reminded him a lot of Yoriichi, so he couldn’t help himself from sparing them both.

Ice Pillar : Douma

Another favourite, surprisingly. A lot of people like Douma and it’s very confusing.

Other than Rui, he's one of the youngest Pillars (16).

Of course he still uses his fans rather than a Nichirin blade. And effectively, too.

Douma is one of the fastest Pillars out of them, aside from maybe Yoriichi and Michikatsu.

Obviously, Ice Breathing is descended from Water Breathing. Rather than flowing attacks, however, most of them have more strength added to them, in order to pack quite a punch.

He’s a bastard and we all know it.

Usually, Douma is given missions that are difficult even for a Pillar’s standards, but still out of the way of civilisation.

Because his breath technique is DESTRUCTIVE.

He’s basically the same as his demon counterpart, except he doesn’t eat humans.

But he’s still a damn sociopath

We all love him though

Soryu Pillar : Akaza

Haha I didn’t know what else to put for him-

His fighting style is strongly based around the Soryu Style he was taught before he became a Demon Slayer. He ends up using hand-to-hand combat a lot more than he uses his Nichirin blade.

Which means he rarely has to commission a new blade if his breaks, because he only uses it slay the demon near the very end of their fight. Nothing more.

He’s a very respectful opponent. Unlike other Demon Slayers, he won’t goad or insult his opponent. He doesn’t hate demons, like some Pillars do.

Because his fianceé was turned into a demon, and he would want to respect her if he ever ran into her during one of his missions.

Thus, all of his missions are ended quickly, and with great respect. Any demon that’s run into him and lived to tell the tale always holds him in such high regards (for a Demon Slayer, at least).

His main job is to keep Douma and Enmu in check, though.

Urami Pillar : Hantengu

Can you tell that I have no inspiration for some of these names

Urami means 'resentment' which makes sense for Hantengu since he hates demons for killing his family and deforming his face.

Despite visiting several doctors, the appearance of the pair of horns on his head remains a mystery.

Some Demon Slayers think he's got demon blood in him, but nothing has been confirmed.

He doesn't have a designated Breath style at all.

Rather, you could call his technique 'Universal Breathing'. If he's had enough training with a certain Breath style, he can use it. Which means he can basically learn all of them if he wants.

He's mastered two : Wind and Flame. He knows bits and pieces of others, but usually wimps out before he can continue training.

His sword gets broken a lot for no reason at all. His swordsmith hates his guts, but always pulls through with a new blade.

His crow is old and cranky, but they get along just fine.

Water Pillar : Gyokko

I mean that’s basically what he is-

He's fabulous

And he'll make sure everyone knows it right after they meet him.

(Nezuko lowkey hates him)

Most of the time, he's not given as many missions as his teammates. He's left to his own devices.

Which means that his territory to patrol - perhaps just around the capitol - is very well protected.

His tsuguko, Sabito, is cute as all hell, but will kick your ass if he needs to. He looks up to Gyokko, and thinks really highly of him.

Most of the other Pillars think there's something wrong with Sabito-

But he's a strong Demon Slayer, so they don't question Gyokko's teaching methods.

Blood Pillar : Gyuutarou

Irritable as all hell

But he loves his sister and would do anything for her.

Rather than use swords, he uses sickles

Yes yes very dramatic thank you Gyuutarou-

He gets cold easily (being so skinny and all), so he stays bundled up often

Daki gets mad at him if he’s not careful, so they often get into fights with one another

Which ends up with Akaza pulling them apart and putting them in time-out

Missions that he’s sent on are often ended quickly and precisely. He’s usually paired up with Rui or Daki, since both of those two Pillars are incredibly good at long-ranged combat, while Gyuutarou is more adept at short/mid-ranged combat

Blood Breathing is derived from Water Breathing, but Gyuutarou also equips the use of the poison that Daki makes in order to get the upper hand on his opponents.

He’s had a tsugukos before, but his training was so harsh that they quit on him. He hasn’t taken another one after that.

Silk Pillar : Daki

Designated medic in the Demon Slayer Corps.

She’s very skilled at not only making antidotes but making poisons out of wisteria. Other Pillars, like Enmu and Gyuutarou, use them in combat. She’s just making them to pass the time.

Rather than use a blade, she uses special sillks made specially from Crimson Iron Sand and Rui’s spider silk. They’re soft and heat-insulated, and Daki wears them over her Demon Slayer uniform.

However, much like Rui’s spider threads, she can manipulate them with ease, allowing them to become as sharp as a blade.

Honest to God nobody knows how she and Rui do it. Perhaps it’s brute, strength, or their Breathing techniques.

Either way, it’s quite a new experience to be on the receiving end of her silks. Daki is fast, and agile. She can get from one point to another in a matter of seconds. The only person faster from her at all is Douma, and even then it’s by seconds at a time, maybe not even that.

Daki doesn’t care to sympathise with demons. She’s never thought of it. Usually, her missions consist of her yelling insults at her target while she battles them.

Biwa Pillar : Nakime

Pretty girl pretty girl

With two eyes this time

She doesn’t often use a sword at all. She has one, but it’s only used for worst-case scenarios.

And when you are Nakime, you don’t get to the point where you can consider something a ‘worst-case scenario’.

Her Biwa is her main weapon, and she has the special ability to create music that harms demons.

The strings are crafted specially from spider silk (courtesy of Rui) and Scarlet Crimson Ore, but they’re also infused with Wisteria incense (courtesy of Enmu) in order to ward demons off.

She’s a master at her craft, and at her best, she is a force to he reckoned with.

She is often paired up with other Pillars on difficult missions, or if there’s more than one Demon in a certain area. Nakime’s music travels a lot farther than a sword does, after all. But a demon has to be within fifty feet of her to actually die from it.

She doesn’t exactly use a Breathing technique for her Biwa. But her base Breathing technique is Water Breathing, so she practices using her sword often so her skills stay sharp.

Dream Pillar : Enmu

I’ll start this off by saying that no, it’s not quite the same as his original Blood Demon Art. But it does use illusion in order to confuse his target.

Enmu is, to say the least, a sadist.

(Nobody likes him)

He toys with his prey and usually ends up taking a long time in order to complete a single mission because he loses track of time.

The Corps wouldn’t like that if they ever found out, but it’s not like they can just stop him.

However, his technique is extremely effective if they ever have the opportunity to gain information from a demon with a high rank.

Which is probably the only time the Corps would let him do as he pleases.

He doesn’t really have a reason for joining the Demon Slayer Corps. He had no family or loves ones to worry about, and he was good at killing demons. What more could he say?

(That’s probably even more depressing than his family dying or smth)

His Dream Breathing is descended from Flame Breathing, because honestly anything destructive is a plus to Enmu.

He uses a Nichirin blade, but he also uses poison on occasion. Not the type that Shinobu uses to kill them, since that’s not the kind of person he is. He uses hallucinogens to make his Breath style more effective.

Spider Pillar : Rui

A surprising amount of people like him, but I can’t say I don’t know why.

Rui’s one goal when he became a Demon Slayer was simple : protect his family.

None of them are actually blood related, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t fight tooth and nail in order to protect his siblings.

It’s not fake like it would be if he were a demon. Rui deeply cares for those that he sees as his family.

His Spider Breathing is descended from Wind Breathing, and is very unpredictable.

Rather than use a traditional Nichirin blade, Rui opted for a more experimental approach : threads.

To the touch, it’s fine and hard to miss. But when he uses it in battle, alongside his Breath Style, it’s hard as diamonds. And Rui controls is expertly, though there’s not really any way to just cut a demon’s head off.

He usually ends up slicing them into tiny bits and pieces, but that does the job as well.

Listen

CAN and WILL adopt any lone child that he sees

That's all for him lmao

Demon Slayer Corps Leader : Muzan Kibutsuji

He's So Done with everything and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

Bedridden or not, he’ll beat someone’s ass. On more than one occasion, he’s somehow chased after Daki and Gyuutarou for fighting.

But don’t worry, he’s a very good leader. He’s just temperamental at times, is all.

However, he is a strategic genius. He does everything for a reason. Nothing is done without purpose.

He does know how to wield a sword, but he can’t do it often. His body wouldn’t be able to sustain that kind of physical strain.

The Pillars are incredibly protective of him. They respect him deeply, even if he can be quite stingy and a little aggressive at times. It’s just how he is. He’s never angry just to be angry.

Despises demons. They’re the reason that his body is as weak as it is, so he can’t help but hate them for everything they’ve done.

[pastamic]

So I’ve seen quite a few posts complaining about the way Entrapta was treated by the Princesses, particularly with a lot of vitriol towards Mermista. I know a lot of us who are neurodivergent are really excited about Entrapta as a character because she’s autistic coded and a lot of us can really relate to her. I think a lot of us are also, and rightfully so, very defensive of the way these types of characters are treated because they get treated honestly so badly by show creators and other characters in their series more often than not, and that’s totally reasonable. If you’re uncomfortable with the way she was treated in regards to what I’m about to talk about I’m in no way saying you can’t still be uncomfortable about this because this is just my opinion and the way I saw it as one touch-averse ND person. To preface this I have not received an autism diagnoses, but I have an ADHD diagnoses and have started to suspect that I might be autistic as well (though it’s hard to tell with the overlapping symptoms.) My fiance is autistic and also has ADHD and has agreed with me on several of these points. 

SO 

[id: Screenshot of Mermista pulling Entrapta’s hair while they approach Horde Prime’s spire in season 5. Caption reads “I’m sorry I’m bad at listening!” end id]

This scene, which a lot of people had an issue with. I had an issue with it at first too bc like pulling peoples hair is generally like not okay! Though the situation was very stressful and dire and Mermista was under a lot of stress. I think this episode was actually particularly important because it showed Entrapta’s issues with feelings and people (like not realizing they were all upset with her) and the stress and residual resentment from fighting on opposite sides and the issues that the other princesses had with understanding Entrapta with a resolution that got talked through. Something that in my personal experience is really important for everyone, but especially ND people and people with mental illnesses. Miscommunications and misunderstandings happen and they all talked it through and I thought it was very sweet. 

But, the hair pulling (and the weird leash thing that Perfuma made with vines but that’s a whole post on it’s own and I’m not gonna get into it) 

Now like I said I thought it was kinda shitty at first, but thanks to quarantine and depression I’ve re-watched spop probably fifteen times now and I’ve noticed a bit of a pattern. 

Most of us have already noticed that Entrapta uses her hair as hands for stuff 

[id: Screenshot of Entrapta leaning over in Hordak’s lab and shaping one of her pigtails into a hand. Caption reads “Failure is a vital part of scientific endeavor.” end id]

Like literal hands

[id: Screenshot of Entrapta standing in Darla’s doorway holding her tools with her hair and making a suggestive face. end id] 

It’s her superpower, and while the other princesses do use their powers as a bit of an extension of themselves, for Entrapta her hair is straight up another body part/limb for her. Tbh if I had hair like that I would use it for literally everything and never touch shit with my hands. 

I think I’ve seen people point this out to an extent before but I noticed that Entrapta never really reaches out to touch anybody with her actual hands with the exception of Hordak.

[id: Screenshot of Entrapta smiling  in the Fright Zone squishing Catra’s cheeks with her hair. Caption reads “Hi, Catra. I saved your life. You’re welcome.” end id]

When she convinces Hordak to send Catra to the Crimson Waste instead of to Beast Island she like grabs her cheeks with her hair, and again in season 5 she pats Catra on the head when she tells her she forgives her. 

[id: Screenshot of Entrapta and Hordak in Hordak’s lab. Entrapta is using her hair to hold out Hordak’s arms in a T-pose. Caption reads “And you’re really way too obsessed with this whole failure thing.” end id] 

And when she’s talking about Hordak’s disability and brainstorming about his suit. I actually chose both of the above screenshots because I thought at first that she only used her hair in place of her hands because her hands always had her tablet in them but both of her hands are free in these scenes, though one could argue that she needs to use her hair to reach Hordak’s hands, she could lift herself up with her hair if she really wanted to reach out with her hands. 

Actually there’s a point in Season 3, episode 4 where she straight up just scratches her hair with the Shera sword so I’m not even sure she has feeling in her hair??? 

[id: Screenshot of Entrapta in Hordak’s lab scratching her head with the Shera sword. Caption reads “I’m not sure if we just need the sword or if we need She-Ra, too.” end id] 

She’s scratching her head with a big fuck off sword so I think that we can infer two things from that: that she can’t really feel much through her hair, and that her hair is like durable as fuck. Considering she lifts herself up by her hair a ton I’d imagine it’s not attached to her scalp in quite the same sensitive way that like non-magic hair would be. 

So I think it makes sense, and might be a respect of her boundaries, to reach for her hair over her hand if they need to keep her from going somewhere. You could argue that grabbing someone in general is a disrespect of boundaries, and in a lot of cases it can be, but in the case of a battle or dangerous mission grabbing someone isn’t really out of the ordinary. We see it with the Best Friends Squad a lot, but also with Scorpia and like literally everyone she’s around. 

When Hordak saves Entrapta from the portal exploding we do see him grab her by the hand, but it’s continuously established that Entrapta exhibits way more intimacy with him than with pretty much anyone else. She allows touch from others and doesn’t seem bothered by it, but Hordak is the person she most consistently reaches out to in regards to touch. 

[id: Screenshot of Bow kissing Entrapta’s pigtail like it’s her hand. end id] 

When Bow first officially meets Entrapta he kisses her pigtail like it’s her hand, which by the way is just super adorable I love fanboy Bow, but it’s not just Bow. Catra and Scorpia also mainly interact with Entrapta through her hair.

Whenever someone needs to interact with Entrapta in a tactile way, it’s pretty much always through her hair. When Entrapta needs to interact with others in a tactile way, it’s pretty much always through her hair. Entrapta’s hair is like another set (sets?? She can split her hair up a lot) of hands. So I don’t think it’s as rough of a treatment as people are making it out to be. It’s not like pulling a non-magic person’s hair. Entrapta’s hair is magic and she uses it in place of her hands near constantly. It’s not like pulling someone else’s hair because Entrapta’s hair is her power, it’s an extension of herself in a way that other’s hair is not. 

It’s okay to feel uncomfortable with Mermista (or others) pulling Entrapta’s hair if that makes you uncomfortable, especially if you’re neurodivergent as many of us have experiences of people completely disregarding our bodily autonomy and infantilizing us in a way that’s frustrating and harmful, but (and I’m not gonna name names bc this isn’t meant to be a discourse post and I’ve seen it a lot) demonizing Mermista for pulling her hair in a high stress situation when she’s struggling with leadership already and Entrapta is seemingly ignoring her orders to do whatever for the sake of science. Though we find out that’s not the case, Mermista doesn’t know that at first and was intending to keep Entrapta from putting herself or the rest of the team in danger which is a foundation of leadership responsibility. 

Should she have tried to be more understanding of Entrapta and actually try to communicate frankly that she was mad instead of assuming that Entrapta would realize it on her own? Absolutely, especially as a leader. But she’s new to leadership and that’s like half of what that episode was about, and people make mistakes, especially with communication. That’s something that I think spop as a show handles really well. People make mistakes, people do things they regret, and people struggle with things like communicating and boundaries even when they have the best of intentions. What matters is that it’s talked out, apologized for, resolved, etc. I’m ND myself, and I’m friends with a lot of neurodivergent people and miscommunications happen A LOT even with like the base knowledge that we need to speak bluntly, clearly, and honestly in order to be understood. Sometimes even when you’re blunt and honest and open things still get miscommunicated. I definitely think the princesses infantilize Entrapta far too much, but I don’t think the hair pulling is as much of an issue as I’ve seen people make it out to be and I definitely don’t think Mermista is some Vile Bitch (tm) for doing what she did. 

(Also I took all these screenshots myself please appreciate that I spent like two hours combing through spop episodes to find them djsfjklds) 

[willowaudreykeyes]

Monster AU Idea that I don’t know what to do with

Literally what the title says. Idk what to do with this, but its in my head and so i need to write it down and share it before my brain explodes. Talk about it or ask about it; whatever you want. As long as I know about it as it is still my idea, go nuts.

@ladyedwina @sparrowofsong

Warning: Does involve murder, being captured, lots of depressed Roman because I’m mean to him for no reason and it makes me sad, gory removal of fingers (not detailed but it is there), suicide mention, me swearing a lot, stabbing(not detailed), hints of Roceit; Intrulogical and qpr Pattmile

Spider Monster Who-Realises-That-His-Race-Sucks Virgil 

Born like this. Was raised to be alone but he likes being around others to feel safe, so it makes him a little awkward and even anxious around others.

Hates the rest of his kind because he’s the only one who doesn’t want to eat people. So now they all wanna kill him. 

He can retract his extra legs but it leaves small bumps in his back, so he likes to wear his over-sized hoodie to help hide them.

Janus saved him from one of his own kind. Travelled with him and Logan before getting separated by Monster Hunters and running into a lonely wolf-Patton.

Is now Patton’s spider child, despite the fact that said father figure is afraid of spiders. And that Virgil is technically older then him. He does try to look past the ‘too-many-eyes’ and ‘long, hairy legs’ thing; which Virgil appreciates.

The only one of the group that knows how mobiles work and he finds it funny as fuck.

Werewolf Underdog (ha) Patton 

Runt of the litter.

Can shift between a humany appearance, an actual grey-brown wolf and a bipedal werewolf. He isn’t the third one often and actually enjoys being a more typical wolf as he can be passed off as a wolf-dog hybrid and has gotten free bones and pets.

Ran away from his pack as they didn’t want him to die but also didn’t want him to get stronger, then raised a bunch of homeless orphans at a young age and also defended them from a trafficking ring by ripping out a bunch of people’s throats. 

Yeah... he brought them to an orphanage afterwards as it’s safer then the streets. Then he ran away again; at this point he’s only 15-16.

Lives alone and homeless for a few more years before running into Virgil and immediately adopting him. 

Patton helped Virgil find Janus and Logan so now he has more children (who are all older then him but he ignores that).

No one will go hungry EVER with Patton is around. He is the caretaker of this pack and he will not let his pups feel hungry ever- 

He’s not over how shitty his pack was to him and it’s very obvious.

When he meets Emile though, it lifts a lot of weight off his shoulders as he learns not to be so all-bearing of others issues. And he also feels safer talking to him about his old pack as he doesn’t want to be pitied by anyone.

Tired-As-Fuck Vampire Logan 

Who’s like 600 years old and knows that a lot of History that the modern day tells everyone is wrong and HATES that he’d be found out if he started yelling at people how wrong they are.

Parents wanted him to drop science and be a farmer. They, and his younger siblings, all died when their crops were poisoned two weeks after he moved out to do his science elsewhere.

Oh and he was bit by the person who 1. Was his partner in science and 2. He was head over heels for them because they let him take risks but still made sure he was safe as he did them.

So that pissed him off quite a bit. Because he almost instantly killed the couple who took in the sickly scientist because the wife cut her finger. He managed to kill the cow instead but he ran away afterwards and never saw them again.

Ran into Janus 300 years later -after travelling a LOT and learning a LOT and nearly dying a LOT and feeling so much that he doesn’t wanna feel anymore because that’s 300yrs of friends dying- and decided to travel with the one type of guy who won’t die of old age!!!

Then Virgil appeared. Then Patton. Then the Twins. Then Remy. Then Emile. He wishes that his dead heart would stop making him want to protect them all to his last breath but what can ya do?

He will murder anyone to save the others- but much prefers to just stay inside and just experiment on the occasional new thing that he finds.

Protector. Leader. Professor. Tired. Doctor. Cantor (yes he was Jewish for a little while after the bite but now he’s Atheist). University Chancellor. Lots of titles and he got them all legit too, although some are a little out of date.

Do not ask how he feels about the others. Especially Remus. He will glare at you without a word before moving on with his life.

Naga Will-Steal-You’re-Last-$5 Janus

Age? Social construct. He hints at being around Logan’s age but that could be give or take a hundred years or so.

He can shift between having a tail and legs- but ofc much prefers the tail. But he hates that his teeth change with it as it makes him hold his ‘s’ more when he talks.

When no tail, the left side of his face is very scarred. Someone tried burning off the scales on his face but the scars only appear when he’s trying to look human. When he has his tail, his scales replace them and they look fine.

Do not touch his hands or he will strangle you with them. They’re sensitive as hell without his gloves and he doesn’t know why.

He can hypnotise you to take a fucking break and he’s not afraid to do it (except on Logan as he’s somehow almost entirely immune)

Doesn’t like hypnotising his friends unless its just to take a break or to pull them out of an anxiety/panic attack. Every other living thing isn’t off limits though.

Lived alone until he met Logan. He also liked killing everyone he met until he met Logan. The only reason he didn’t kill Logan was because the nerd almost chopped off the end of his tail. The others don’t know this and it’s staying that way.

Has a cane to walk with for days that his legs decide that they wanna be a tail but he’s in public for some reason and he can’t and it sucks.

Almost killed Remy when they first met. Literally- he stabbed him in the side. Now they’re best buds over it and it was weird how quickly it happened too.

Has stolen Roman’s last $5. He will not be returning it. He hasn’t spent it because he finds him cute funny when he’s mad.

Siren But-Flips-Off-The-Sea-And-Heights Roman

Was born a Prince! With his weirdo of a twin. They were well liked and he was next in line for the throne and he was gonna be given a wife-

He wasn’t happy that it HAD to be a wife and when he argued that he wanted a guy; everyone turned on him and threw him into the ocean. So... fuck them.

Sirens saved him by turning him into one. He hates it.

Was forced to eat kelp or people. He chose kelp. He hated it.

Was dragged out of the sea by his brother who had been thrown into the evil swamp nearby and is now a banshee. Not as bad but he’s still rather pissed.

Although he was a little sad when he heard, 100yrs later, that his entire kingdom died of the plague. He moved on quickly though.

He hates the sea and doesn’t go near it. If it all dried up one day, it’d be the happiest day of his life. He doesn’t even eat seafood anymore as it makes him upset just looking at it.

He still likes to sing. He can control if it’s going to mind-control those who hear it or not; but it’s a little annoying as he can’t get too into it without accidentally losing control. Doesn’t stop him though. 

He learnt how to play multiple instruments, made anonymously published books, the money-earner of the two. Although he was jealous that Remus was better at more hands-on stuff and is slowly, but happily, learning how to craft things from wood.

He and Remus never separated. Even when Monster Hunters sprayed him with water, forced his tail to appear, and took him to a facility to be imprisoned forever. That’s another thing he was mad about since Remus refused to just fucking RUN but he was happy to see his brother be proud of him when he dug VERY sharp teeth into a mans arm.

Had to be carried out by Janus when he, Logan, Patton and Virgil decided to free everyone inside. Every other creature could run except him, which led to him and Remus staying with them.

He definitely, 100%, no-doubt-about-it got a massive gay crush on Janus when he taught him how to fight. And sword fight. And dance. And how to look after his rather pretty scales.

In the 200-300yrs since he’s had a tail, he hasn’t ONCE really looked after them. So when Janus helped him out and made his scales less gross and more gorgeous, he actually started liking his tail a bit.

The Ocean can still go fuck itself though.

Oh and the one time they visited the Seattle Space Needle? Yeah, fuck heights too.

Banshee Will-Eat-Your-Fingers-If-Given-The-Chance Remus

After Roman got thrown into the ocean, he went on a rampage. He didn’t kill anyone, but he sure as hell got close to murdering their shitty father.

They tied him up and tossed him into the nearby swamp, where he nearly died. He inhaled days worth of magical fog that eventually turned him into a banshee. Which is just the ability to scream so loud that he makes people pass out, which is useful. Oh and sharp teeth that he looks after really well.

He managed to escape the forest, he screamed at a passing merchant and took his horse, and went to the ocean where he found Roman depressingly eating kelp on a rock off in the distance.

He literally got on a boat, dragged the surprised but happy fish into it with him, and made sure that they would never be separated again.

Didn’t care about what happened to their old kingdom. 

He learnt how to make weapons, how to blacksmith, how to glassmith, how to make clothes- Literally anything he could since Roman kind of sucked at making anything that wasn’t music or a story of some kind. Fine by him since he knew the quality of the weapon he was stabbing people with.

When the hunters forcefully made Roman’s tail appear, he tried to scream to make them all pass out but they were ready and punched him out. He would have found it a little funny if he didn’t wake in a jail cell with a thing over his mouth.

The two worst things about it: He couldn’t see Roman and know if he was okay and he couldn’t cuss out the guards.

When that nerdy but very murderous vampire broke in and helped him out of the prison, he returned the favour by biting off the fingers of a guard that had broken Logan’s glasses. He later on fixed said glasses as well but he thought the fingers removal was a better thank you.

Loves Logan; only Roman, Janus and Emile have figured it out. Virgil thinks he’s plotting to kill the vampire one day, Remy doesn’t pay attention and Patton thinks that Logan is a good influence on him (he’s not wrong as he slowly stops describing brutal murders and talks about gross facts that Logan does and doesn’t know)

Remy No-It-Isn’t-Short-For-Remington-Yes-I-Am-A-Dragon-Roman

Born as a shapeshifting dragon. Was supposed to live like a recluse like the rest of his kind but said ‘fuck that’ and now works at a clothing store in a town full of morons for entertainment.

His kind does get tired rather easily so he lives off coffee. He is addicted and luckily for him; his body won’t get used to it so he doesn’t have to heighten the dose of caffeine in every drink. Yay!

Two things happened when he first met Janus and Roman. The first is that he got stabbed by the Naga because he may or may not have seen him wearing some shiny rings that he REALLY wanted. He wanted it more then Janus, so he found it okay to do- but got stabbed for it.

Two; he then bit Roman (who kinda deserved it when he tried to ‘slay the dragon’ when Janus had saw his unnaturally-bright brown eyes) and was dragged to see everyone to figure out what to do with him.

He managed to talk his way out of being murdered by Remus by sheer amazing personality (he’s x5 sassy when afraid and Remus thought he was hilarious) and just decided to hang around everyone just because he could.

Being stabbed turned into a joke between him and Janus and now they’re besties who totally don’t steal from random assholes that they run into down the street. It’s a now competition to have the shiniest collection (Janus is winning but gives Remy the occasional shiny thing as he knows that dragons get very mad about hoard sizes sometimes)

When they all moved towns, he dragged them to one where his old friend Emile was. He also introduced Virgil to Starbucks and their coffee and is still getting berated for it to this day.

Oh and when he does manage to let himself be a dragon, he’s about as large as a horse and has really pretty black scales with a light brown underbelly. His eyes turn bright green too. Virgil calls him Starbucks’s best mascot.

Emile Is-A-Disney-Fairy-Stereotype

Can grow and shrink on command; can also make his wings appear and disappear although it does hurt not to have them out almost daily.

Pink wings and pink hair. Very popular fairy attributes (for both fairies and Monster Hunters)

Can see aura’s of humans and monsters. They look very different depending on species but he LOVES seeing human ones the most as they are often filled with more colours.

Is a therapist, is a cartoon nerd, is able to make you a dress that disappears at midnight

... Can also see your dreams but doesn’t like doing it as its intrusive and it feels like he’s breaking some kind of human Confidentiality agreement 

Being a therapist has changed a lot of his views on personal space (like the whole dream thing he has). He’s very in-your-face when excited, but as a kid he would CLING to people at every chance he had. Even strangers. It wasn’t a good habit.

Became a therapist, an independent one too, because a human friend of his died of suicide and he blamed his therapist who was telling him a lot of bad advice. And said therapist wasn’t supportive of his friends gender-identity crisis as he was very strict on ‘born a boy is a boy’ kind of thinking.

Now Emile takes in teenagers for free and adults at a lower price then a normal therapist. He doesn’t have a great living space (upstairs from his office don’t tell anyone) but he doesn’t care! 

Met Remy as he was one of his patients once. He can tell when someone isn’t human due to their aura’s and nearly fell out of his chair when a FUCKING DRAGON walked in.

After Remy finished his sessions, he still visited occasionally and always remembered his favourite drink (chocolate smoothie with whipped cream and caramel shavings and a chocolate stick or five sticking out- and Remy thought his coffee addiction was bad)

And after not seeing Remy after six months, only to find that he has made friends with a lot of other creatures made him so happy.

Then confused when they all dragged in this fairy therapist into their group. Where Logan asked for the occasional emotional advice (not at ALL related to Remus-), Janus made sure he got a better living space, Remus and Virgil gave him someone to talk to about darker cartoon ideas, Roman (after the 18 times he asked for a magical dress) started making cartoon-stuffs for him, and Patton...

Patton helped him realise that he was still very gay despite the AroAce that he was. He gave him head scritches when stressed, the help he needed trauma-wise, the cartoon marathons with the doggo using his legs as a pillow-

And Patton gave him someone to talk to about all his feelings about his clients (without breaking any rules ofc). And about his old friend and the terrible therapists that he’s met.

He will admit to anyone that he squealed when Janus told him that Patton was pan aroace. Seriously, just ask. He is not ashamed of his excitement of the fact that he has a CHANCE WITH THE CUTE WOLF DAD.

[chain-unchained]

December 12 - Part 3

This one’s long and dramatic. And it’s still not over. Longest. Day. *Ever*.

The elevator continued its descent; the rocky surfaces all around them began to shift in color, going from light muddy browns to burnt umber and musty reds.

“Holy shit, Ashe, how far have you been digging in here?” Sebastian could hardly speak, Sam was so tightly wound around his neck.

The farmer anxiously rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Not far enough, honestly. And I can’t take all the credit for this,” he fiddled with the scarf around his neck, contemplating whether or not to remove it for the time being, “Percy’s been coming down here a lot lately too.”

“I think it’s cool.” Abigail reached out and let her fingers brush against the moving rockfaces. “You get to actually fight real monsters and stuff. Like looking at you, no one would think that you’re actually a badass warrior.”

“I-I’m not though, really. I try to avoid the monsters as much as I can.”

“Whaaaat? Okay, that’s kinda lame.”

Sebastian flicked her forehead. “Not everyone is as bloodthirsty as you are, y’know.”

“I’m not bloodthirsty!” Her cheeks puffed out in a puff as she rubbed the red spot left behind. “I’m just so bored of the quiet country lifestyle. You have to be bored of it too, right Ashe? You used to live in the city after all.”

“Actually,” he smiled bashfully, “I really like how peaceful it is here. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Her pout intensified. “Well—well, you’re just saying that cos you get to cheat and come kill monsters whenever you want. And your farm work keeps you super busy, too!” She pointed a finger at him. “You’re just a big cheater.”

“Uh—“ At a loss, he gave another awkward smile, “sorry?”

“Hmph.” She turned away and folded her arms across her chest. “Cheater.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes as the elevator came to a shuddering stop at the bottom of the mine shaft. “Okay Sam, we’ve stopped moving—you can stop suffocating me now.”

“We are? Oh thank Yoba—”

Both Sam and Abby fought to be the first ones off of the elevator. It was dark and warm where it let them off, dimly lit from the torches that Ashe had put up from his last visit.

“I’m never getting back on that death machine ever again,” Sam wheezed, knees buckling from the legitimate fear that had been gripping him.

“Well that sucks for you,” Sebastian jerked his thumb back towards the elevator, “cos that’s our only way out.”

“Noooooo…!” He dropped to the ground in a heap of despair. “I can’t, my heart can’t take anymore of that…!”

“It’ll be okay, Sam.” Ashe knelt down beside him and patted his shoulder gently. “We’ll distract you the whole time so you don’t have to think about it. Okay?”

“No, not okay,” he sniffed with a shake of his head, “but… okay.”

Ashe helped him back to his feet and brushed some of the dirt from his knees. “Alright. You guys all stay behind me, and stick close. There are some really nasty monsters roaming around down here.”

“Laaaame…” Abigail took her hand off of the hilt of her sword with a dramatic sigh. “You gotta at least let me get the first kill in. I need this.”

“Abby,” Sebastian put his hand on her shoulder, “you need to calm down.”

“More like you guys need to get more pumped up!” Despite what Ashe just said, she pushed her way to the front of the group. “C’mon, we’re exploring a real life monster-filled mine! And Ashe has been coming down here by himself all this time, why are we so freaked out when there’s four of us here?”

Ashe hesitated. “That’s… a good point, actually…”

“Right?” Abby fell back enough to walk beside him and flashed a wide grin. “We can take on anything that comes our way with the power of friendship! And anime! But not Yoba. That asshole can stay out of our way.”

“Pfft—” The last bit was enough to make Ashe dissolve into a fit of laughter. He didn’t realize just how badly he needed to laugh.

“There we go! That’s much more like it.” Her grin got even bigger as she began to walk backwards—it was easier to talk this way. “Seriously, you’ve been so down in the dumps lately that I thought you’d forgotten how to laugh.”

“Yeah, we noticed that too.” Sam wrapped an arm around the farmer’s shoulders. “What’s been on your mind?”

“N-Nothing—it’s nothing—oh no, I can’t breathe—” He had to stop walking, doubling over and hugging his stomach until the laughter began to subside. A few giggles lingered as he straightened up and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I-I don’t know why that got me so good… ahhh… I’m okay. I’m okay, really.”

“You sure about that, buddy?”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “And really, nothing’s been on my mind lately. It’s just that winter’s a bad time for me.”

Abigail put her hand on her hip. “Because your mom died around this time, right?”

“Abby!” Sam and Sebastian were appalled. The smile faded from Ashe’s face.

“What?” She asked.

“You can’t just say that kind of shit.” Sebastian rubbed his face. “Have some goddamn tact or something.”

“Life’s too short and we could die down here, so what’s the point of beating around the bush?” She turned back to Ashe. “It’s not hard to put 2 and 2 together. Look, if you need someone to talk to about it, you can talk to us. Or Shane. That’s not the kind of shit that you should keep bottled up.”

“I-I don’t—”

“Like seriously, you should know this since you’re dating him and all. Isn’t this the kind of stuff that you had to beat into his head?”

“That’s not—”

“Just how long do you think you can keep going like this? You’re just going to get depressed next winter if you keep ignoring it like you have been—”

“Rrrr—CAN I PLEASE SAY SOMETHING?!”

Ashe didn’t mean to explode, but that was exactly what he did. His voice rose uncontrollably, bouncing off of the narrow corridor they stood in as his friends stared at him with wide eyes and slightly slack jaws.  

“Uh… y-yeah, sure, go ahead.”

With shaking hands Ashe rubbed at the lower part of his face. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said simply, his voice and chin quivering with each word. “I don’t—it’s still too painful.” His voice broke, and his eyes stung with tears desperately fought back as he whispered, “I d-don’t want anyone to see me cry…”

“Aww, Ashe…” Sam pulled him into a hug, and Sebastian shot Abby a dirty look. “C’mon, it’s okay. This is what friends are for, y’know.”

“N-No—please, I don’t—want—”

It was too late. The floodgates had been opened, and just as he had dissolved into laughter not five minutes ago he dissolved into sobs that were muffled by Sam’s shoulder. It was embarrassing. There was nothing that felt good about breaking down like this in front of others. But there was nothing that he could do to stop the tears, or the emotions that brought them on.

“That’s it, just let it all out.” Sam patted his back with a faint smile. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Just know that we’re all here for you.”

It took everything Ashe had in him to eventually stop the tears, and a minute later he pulled back from Sam to rub at his reddened eyes with a sniff. “Sucks… S-Sorry, I tried so hard…”

“Hey, there’s nothing to apologize for.” Sebastian took a puff on the cigarette he’d lit. “Sometimes you just gotta cry.”

“Oh?” Abby elbowed him with a smirk. “That something you have a lot of experience with, Seb?”

“Fuck off.”

The exchange was enough to get a half-laugh, half sob from Ashe.

“Hey, there’s another laugh.” Abby’s smirk softened to a smile. “So do you feel any better now?”

“N-No, not really…” With a shuddering sigh, Ashe dried what was left of his tears on his sleeves and did his best to smile. “But I really don’t like to cry, so. I’m okay now.” He moved to the front of the group and unsheathed his trusty sword. “Besides, there’s no time to waste. We’ve got monsters to slay and loot to find! FOR THE G!”

“Hell yeah!” Abigail was right there beside him, her own sword drawn as they led the charge. Sam and Sebastian had to break into a brisk jog to keep up with them.

 ####

 It wasn’t long before they ran into trouble. A few red-tinted slimes, some magma bats, nothing too major. It was largely disappointing for Abby, who stood off to the side pouting as the others dug into a fat gold vein.

“This sucks,” she huffed, “I was promised monsters and all I’ve gotten are weak level 1 mobs.”

“Y’know,” Sebastian grunted with the swing of his pickaxe, “most people wouldn’t be complaining about that.”

She flicked her hair over her shoulder. “Yeah, well, I’m not like most people.”

“’I’m so quirky, I’m not like other girls’,” Sam teased.

“Hey, that subreddit doesn’t apply to me because I’m actually not like other girls.”

“That’s what they all say, you know.”

Having fallen largely quiet in his concentration on mining, Ashe just sort of listened to them playfully argue. It was fun to just be a party to the conversation, and it helped with keeping his mind occupied.

‘This should be enough to trade for some better tools, I think.’ He picked up a few chunks of mined ore and inspected them with a hopeful glint in his eyes. It was more cost-efficient to trade materials like this for upgrades instead of paying for them outright. ‘Would be nice if we could hit a gem vein while we’re here—’

The conversation lulled, and in the brief moment of silence Ashe heard a strange noise in the distance. It was a noise that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

“Get down!”

Once more his voice reverberated around the space as he tackled his friends to the floor. Not a second later, a giant flaming fireball whizzed over their heads, ricocheting against the walls and bouncing all around before it exploded a few feet away.

“Holy—” Sam coughed as a thick smoke filled the air. “Where the hell did that come from?!”

“Keep your head down,” Ashe pushed him back down, straining his eyes to see through the smoke. He could faintly make out a round form hovering in the air at the far end of the tunnel. “Marlon calls them ‘squid kids’. It won’t notice us if we stay still.”

“Oh, to hell with that.”

Against his warnings, Abigail scrambled to her feet. With hand on the hilt of her sword again, she darted right towards the monster.

“Abby, don’t!!!”

Letting out a battle cry that would make any warrior proud, she drew the sword and cleanly cut the Squid Kid in two before it had a chance to get off another fireball. The three stared in stunned silence as she skidded to a stop, coolly sheathing her blade and turning to look back at them.

“C’mon, it was one mob. We’ve got the power of friendship and anime on our side, remember?”

Ashe let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding—only for his heart to stop in his chest again as a shadow moved behind her. He was on his feet in the blink of an eye, racing towards where she stood triumphant. There wasn’t time for him to yell out a warning. The others did it for him.

“Shit—look out!”

Sebastian and Sam scrambled to follow in his footsteps as the shadow fell over Abigail. Realization dawned on her face, and she turned to find a pair of angry beady eyes glaring down at her from within the amorphous blob that was Slime EX.

After a second, she turned to look back at the boys racing towards her. “Really, guys?” She asked, wholly unimpressed. “You’re panicking over a slime? What’s it gonna do, squish me to death?”

Almost as if her words caused the Slime deep offense, its entire body jiggled with a gurgly roar—the sound was enough to send dust crumbling from the ceiling above. The color started to drain from her face as it jumped, much higher than she thought it could.

There wasn’t enough time. The slime came down on top of her before any of them could reach her, absorbing her into its gelatinous center as they came to a screeching stop just a short distance away. It was horrific, watching her clutch at her own throat as the Slime’s insides slowly suffocated her.

But the Slime wasn’t content with just one meal, and its sights shifted to the three still standing before it. It leaped again, and they began to backpedal as quickly as they could—but it wasn’t fast enough. There wasn’t time. Sam grabbed hold of Ashe by the back of his shirt and hurtled him backwards, a split second before the Slime squished down on him and Sebastian too.

The throw was enough to send Ashe through the air, and he hit the ground in an unceremonious heap. “Oh my Yoba—GUYS!” He screamed, picking himself up in time to see them swallowed up.

With each jump, the Slime’s massive size had sent tremors throughout the mine. The second time, the quaking didn’t stop, sending chunks of the walls and ceiling tumbling down all around. The entire mine was starting to collapse.

[autumnblogs]

Day 74: The Ultimate Weapon and the Ultimate Self

https://homestuck.com/story/7786

The Dramatic Irony is so thick you could cut it with a fucking knife. Her Heroism, and need to be the one who defeats the most powerful enemy there is is pretty much exactly the same here as it was when she was going to go off and fight Jack - her perception of herself as having grown is almost nakedly false.

More after the break.

https://homestuck.com/story/7788

There’s something poetic about the fact that the final emotional confrontation in the comic is between Vriska and Vriska. The center of attention, Homestuck’s Model Hero - for (Vriska)’s arc to be complete, she has to be confronted not just with someone like Aranea - she has to understand what it’s like to be on the receiving end of her own wrath to be able to really empathize completely with the people that she’s hurt.

And for Vriska, renouncing this version of her - a version of her who could conceivably happy - so viciously tearing into her - means renouncing the possibility of actually living for the people she loves, instead of going off to die for them.

Someone has to go defeat Lord English, I suppose; that’s his curse. Couldn’t have happened to be a nicer person.

https://homestuck.com/story/7795

Meenah is too restless a person to spend her life in peace and satisfaction, and I think it’s something she’s aware of. She’s just not that kind of person. I think it gives us a lot of insight in the Condesce to view her as the kind of person who has spent enough time with herself to make that recognition and internalize it completely to the point that it probably doesn’t bother her any more.

She’s the kind of person who wants to get shit done, and fuck shit up, and as much as she might have all kinds of sentimental feelings for people like Jane and the Psionic, at the end of the day, she doesn’t have the wherewithal to stop being who she is right now. She isn’t prepared to do what it takes to change, and she never was.

What Meenah and Vriska have largely always had in common is that they are committed to a vision of themselves, living up to a kind of Heroic possible version of themselves - not Heroic necessarily in a moral sense, again - and they’re not willing to compromise that for anyone else.

https://homestuck.com/story/7810

deep, seconds-long inhale

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

https://homestuck.com/story/7836

This really helps to solidify that, for however much she has been pointed at the right enemies, Vriska is as cruel and evil as she’s ever been, at least in temperament if not necessarily in terms of principle.

https://homestuck.com/story/7857

While I enjoy this whole sequence in theory, in practice, I’ve always felt like Tavros is still very much the butt of this whole joke; particularly because of how rapidly he just ends up handing off the huge ghost army he built to Vriska and Meenah.

I do think that for what it’s worth, it’s probably the actual follow-up on the bit of foreshadowing with Casey and their dead army.

https://homestuck.com/story/7870

They deserve each other.

https://homestuck.com/story/7895

Jasprose - Rose Lalonde, really - manages to finally put on the table this sense of alienation that has plagued her throughout the entire story - sums up the paranoia and pessimism, slowly replaced as they are by a desire to have someone to hold.

Rose is estranged.

https://homestuck.com/story/7898

The absolute pile of ways that Lord English can be defeated by the end of Homestuck really makes me feel like a lot of them are ultimately rendered silly and moot - y’know like, there’s just so much excess, any of them alone, or even a handful of them probably could have done the trick - but why all of them?

It makes many of the sacrifices feel unnecessary; and I have a secret impression that ultimately, just by his very nature, English could have been destroyed without assistance - the Dead Cherub seems perfectly capable of doing him in on her own.

https://homestuck.com/story/7917

I think one of Dirk’s biggest problems in general is that he always feels compelled to push the envelope to the actual fucking limit; he’s not willing to start small and work upward. It would do him a lot of good to just have some minor easy projects, a way to accumulate experience, and with time, maybe wisdom.

Taking care of a little flock of pigeons would be good for him.

https://homestuck.com/story/7922

Becoming comfortable with your own body and your own needs is one of the most basic things you can understand about yourself, but for Dave - as with a lot of us - that understanding is another casualty of his general estrangement not only from other people, but from himself.

https://homestuck.com/story/7923

For these two cool dudes, the past is in the past as surely as it can be. Whatever ill vibes were between the two of them because of their past selves are gone now - they’re new people, and they can move forward and create something new as a result.

That’s forgiveness for you.

https://homestuck.com/story/7941

Poor Terezi. She’s so...

Afraid. So afraid of everyone. She can’t bear to be loved.

https://homestuck.com/story/7947

Not even really by herself.

https://homestuck.com/story/7959

Each and every one of these losers - losers of Paradox Space, those who didn’t make it to the end because of unlucky happenstance - they all count. They all matter. Each and every one of them contributes to the whole picture of who they are as a person.

And gracefully, it’s never too late for them to reconcile with each other - and to reconcile with themselves.

As long as you exist, it is not too late for reconciliation. But that’s no excuse to put it off to the end of all time.

If you’ll allow me a moment to moralize, if there’s someone you’re estranged from, who you want to be able to be around again, maybe don’t wait. If there’s a chance to make things right with them, it’s usually worth it.

https://homestuck.com/story/7975

Good old Spades Slick, lived as he died - futilely making a stand against someone invincible.

https://homestuck.com/story/8006

Davepetasprite gives us as close as possible to a full statement of the theme that Homestuck explores through all of its alternate self shenanigans.

https://homestuck.com/story/8032

This is a little parallel I missed before, between Aradia and Jade.

Now that she’s had a little pep talk from Davepetasprite, Jade’s conquest over sleep is parallel to Aradia’s conquest over death, and I think they both form a nice metaphor for surviving depression.

https://homestuck.com/story/8112

After action patch-up.

Everyone gets a chance to see the ones they love most at last, no more stakes.

https://homestuck.com/story/8126

The Prospitian Monarch can beat her swords to ploughshares at last.

https://homestuck.com/story/8127

As the kids enter their new universe, their entrance is as one with the defeat of Lord English.

As Vriska destroys Lord English, her destruction is as one with his destruction.

The end of Paradox Space is as one with a new beginning for all sentient beings.

And the end of Homestuck is as one with the beginning of a life for these kids where they are not confined by the solidified line of the narrative, and numerous possibilities are open to them.

Let’s hope they pick good ones.

I’ll see you tomorrow for some final words, and some previews of my next projects.

For now, Cam signing off, alive, and not alone.

[tepidjasminetea]

A nostalgia retrospective at Frozen

I was of the generation that grew up with frozen as the defining childhood event, I think that says a lot about my age, I remember watching the movie in the theatre with my mom and having my little popcorn in one hand and my little cup of fizzy drink in another and being amazed by our lord and savior Elsa of Arendelle. Saying that this movie changed my little barely developed frontal lobe is an understatement, it fucking penetrated it and all I could think about for months on end was Frozen. While writing the script for this I listened to Let it Go and inexplicably I had flashbacks of little petite me compulsively almost replaying that song. Remembering the hold of that movie on me and people of my age during that time feels unreal, it honestly seems like Disney sprinkled in a bit of crack into that song. My general thoughts when I watched it in theatres was that this film was perfect in every sense and Elsa was the hottest woman alive.

Recap

Before I dive into the video, I will give a brief background or refresh of the film for the three people who haven’t seen it and those who haven’t seen it in like seven years since its release. Frozen is a 2013 animated movie made by Disney, there’s Anna the cute and clumsy ginger sister, Elsa the sister that Disney made approximately half a million dollars off of merchandise, Kristoff the furry that talks to reindeer, Olaf a snowman, and Hans the evil ginger. The story centers on Anna and Elsa; as a child, Elsa accidentally hit Anna in the head with her ice magic while playing with her. To fix Anna’s brain essentially she had to have all her memories of Elsa’s magic removed. So from that incident onward, Anna doesn’t know about Elsa’s powers, and because of the incident, Elsa started to distance herself. So the sisters barely have any contact for the fifteen or so odd years. The sisters are reunited on Elsa’s coronation day and Anna sings a song about open doors and finally getting to meet people again that hits different in 2021.  Anna pisses Elsa off because she wants to marry a ginger man with sideburns. They fight and in the heat of the moment Elsa shoots ice at her sister. The secret is out and Elsa is overwhelmed so she runs away to the mountains to build her ice castle and we get the song that won Disney ‘Best Original Song’ at the Oscars. Anna gets on a horse and goes to search for her sister in the northern mountains. Then her horse fucks off and she finds her way to a convenience store? Is that what you would call it? And she meets our lovely golden retriever boy Kristoff and for a pickaxe, some rope, and some carrots for his reindeer, he agrees to take our cute little ginger north. On the way, they find Olaf who is a sentient snowman that Elsa created with her magic. They go to Elsa’s castle and Anna tries to convince Elsa to return to their home and to make it summer again. I don’t know why she would want that since winter is the superior season. Anyways Elsa is unconvinced and still wants to be a hermit. Anna pushes a little too hard, we get a lovely duet between the sisters and then Elsa blasts Anna’s heart. Oh no Anna’s poor heart is starting to freeze as her hair slowly turns white. Kristoff brings Anna to the trolls that treated Anna’s head all those years ago, coincidentally those trolls also were the ones that raised Kristoff. Then we get the cutest musical number ever to exist, fucking fight me. Granddaddy troll tells Anna and Kristoff that she needs an act of true love to thaw her frozen heart. So Kristoff delivers Anna back to the ginger with the sideburns because they think that the little ginger boy is Anna’s, true love. So while that happens Hans and a couple of people are at Elsa’s ice castle trying to capture her, but she doesn’t want that so she almost commits a double homicide. This is the point where I thought she’d make a great video game character. Some random dude tries to fire an arrow at the distracted Elsa but Hans stops him and the arrow, unfortunately, fires into the ice chandelier above and that thing crashes down on Elsa knocking her out. She then is carted back to Arendelle and put in chains, she pleads for her freedom and Hans is like I’ll see what I can do. Anna arrives at the castle and asks Hans to kiss her, but low and behold the ginger is evil and never loved Anna and just wanted the throne so he doesn’t kiss her and leaves her to die. In the meantime, Elsa escapes from her dungeon and Hans is chasing her down. Anna is rescued by Olaf and they decide to run towards Kristoff because he must love her and then he can reverse the frozen heart. So Elsa is running, Anna is running, Hans is running and so is Kristoff. Hans catches up to Elsa and tells her that Anna died because of her and that it’s all her fault, Elsa is devastated and Hans takes the chance to try and kill her. Anna who is running towards Kristoff sees this happening and instead of running towards her true love she decides to go and save Elsa. Her body turns into ice fully as she blocks the sword from slicing Elsa in half like a piece of white tuna. Elsa sees this and she cries over Anna’s icy figure and her tears thaw Anna’s frozen heart since it is an act of true love because the sisters love eachother. Elsa realizes that love is what she needs to reverse winter and bring back summer, and so she waves her hand a bit and takes back all the snow. Kristoff and Anna kiss, Olaf gets to experience summer, and Elsa’s crippling social anxiety is solved. The end. 

The Music

When I was watching frozen I found it so strange that I pretty much remembered the lyrics to everything. I’ve never been much of a musical person I never liked musicals that much but I found that in this movie the music was one of the main enjoyment of it. Perhaps it’s just me in my old age but I honestly felt like these songs aged like fine wine, even the ones that I didn’t like as much or wasn’t musically ambitious I still found them extremely enjoyable. I also liked the score how they incorporated some kind of Scandinavian music in it and it just made the world-building better. Let it Go was just as ear-wormy as I remembered and it was just as powerful as I remember because we’re just coming off of Elsa running away scared and this song is essentially her owning her socially awkward ass and saying yes I want to be a hermit and there’s nothing wrong about it. Which my now more developed frontal lobe resonated deeply with. Now I know this video isn’t about comparing Frozen and its sequel but I will have to mention how I realized how much simpler and more or less conventional pop song-y the first movie’s songs are. I also listened to into the unknown and show yourself on youtube prior and those two songs feel more ingrained in the world and the lore. Which does make sense since the second movie is a bit world-building. But for Let it Go and Do you wanna build a snowman the mystical and magical feel that songs in Frozen 2 have isn’t present. I understand since into the unknown and show yourself are all sorta about a spirit, but I just wished that the main songs in Frozen incorporated some form of Scandinavian music that’s present in the opening song and the score. 

The Characters

Kristoff

Recently it has been pointed out to me that I might just have an inclination towards big blonde himbo characters, I simped for Matthias in Six of Crows, and I positively melted at the sight of Kristoff the big blonde boy with a fetish for reindeer. Kristoff was probably my favourite character upon this second viewing. There’s absolutely no concrete or sound reason for it that I can defend with words. Literally, I just have a gene in my DNA that just makes me extremely biased towards that type of character. I love his grounded personality in comparison with Anna’s slightly airheaded disposition. I love that he’s raised by trolls it just makes me feel happy. 

Anna

Anna is often looked upon as the lesser sister by Disney’s merchandising and in turn by the little girls who were the primary audience of this movie. One this second viewing with my more mature and refined taste I actually respected Anna as a character and I thought it was good that she was so ordinary because it was refreshing almost and it made her much more endearing. The takeaway I had from the movie was that Anna was kinda a self-insert character, she’s just like the audience going on an adventure and only just learning about her sister’s powers, she’s relatable to the audience. She’s the perfect ordinary relatable gal that everyone loves. The one thing I wish she had was a proper character arc, granted she doesn’t need one, but Disney almost tries to shoehorn in one with the inclusion of Hans and how he wasn’t her true love. Her arc is almost like discovering that true love doesn’t come from someone that she met just two days ago. Because Disney wants to do meta-commentary on their own material but Anna doesn’t even really learn that lesson? Because Hans not loving Anna isn’t a product of them only knowing eachother for two days but instead a product of him being evil, so the thesis that Disney so badly wants to prove was undermined by their own twist villain. And then even worse they imply that Kristoff instead is Anna’s true love even though Kristoff has known Anna for roughly the same amount of time as Hans. So if you are trying to make a point that true love doesn’t happen in a couple of days then sorry Disney you failed…? 

Elsa

She’s the main character the story centers around her and she has the most complex emotions, character arc and personality. Her arc is one about her overcoming her fear of her own powers and it fulfills that change in the character somewhat. Near the end of the movie, we see her distraught more than ever because she believes her powers killed her own sister and she is positively depressed. But then she’s able to save her sister with the power of love. And she uses the same power of love to reverse her power, and we assume with the power of love she learns to control it. Which is a bit of a cop-out just having all her internal issues be solved with love, Elsa doesn’t really learn anything she learns that i guess Anna loves her? Which I thought she knew from the beginning. And it would be strange if she didn’t love Anna since the beginning or if she didn’t know that Anna loved her. Elsa’s issue was that no one understood her, and that issue still isn’t solved by the end and Anna’s love certainly didn’t solve that issue so I don’t really think that ending fits with her character. It would have made more sense if Elsa was a villain who didn’t understand love or who shitted on the idea of love then this ending would have been better. 

Hans

Out of all the characters, Hans is done the dirtiest. I know I make fun of him for being a dirty little ginger but i think he had so much potential in being a good character and a good subversion of the prince charming trope and they squandered every bit of it for a twist villain. We could have had them sing the same love is an open door song but have them over the course of the movie slowly realize that they don’t really love each other and it finally culminates in the supposedly true love’s kiss not working. Then Anna would have learned her lesson and Hans wouldn’t be a terrible twist villain with motivations that don’t make sense. I felt so strongly after this viewing that Hans should have been redeemed in the second movie somehow. 

Olaf

I’m not going to count him as a character because he’s a snowman and his personality starts with comic relief and ends with merchandise sales. 

Sven

I love Sven and the relationship he has with Kristoff, it’s cute it establishes Kristoff as a good well-meaning furry so the audience instantly is able to connect with him and trust him. 

The Plot

I found in retrospect the movie was so much more complex than I remembered, as a little petite child I didn’t understand that there was so much political intrigue? I’ve been recently rewatching Game of Thrones the good seasons and watching Frozen I thought like wow this feels so game of thrones esque (mostly just Hans’s elaborate but completely ridiculous plan) and I was just thinking how it would have played out differently if Frozen was a Game of Thrones political fantasy movie. Anyways the plot of Frozen is singlehandedly fucked by Disney’s compulsive twitch to make a twist villain. In the beginning, we meet Hans and he’s charming and cute and positively enamoured with Anna. We even get this little scene of him smiling to himself once he met Anna that just doesn’t make sense at all when you watch it a second time and realize this bitch was never meant to love Anna at all. In a much earlier version of Frozen, where Elsa was more of a classic Disney villain (she would eventually become good), Prince Hans in that version was also established as a twist villain. But Disney decided that Elsa as a villain didn’t really connect with the audience so they decided to change the story and make Elsa more sympathetic but they still had to keep the element of Prince Hans being a villain to provide drama and twists. So ok Hans had to be evil, no negotiation let’s assume Daddy Disney said we have to have evil ginger or I will eat ur firstborns, or whatever. But that still doesn’t explain why the setup had to be so bad. The main reason why Hans is such a bad twist villain is that there was never a setup for him to be evil, a lot of his earlier scenes don’t make sense in retrospect when you know that he was scheming for the throne all along. The scene where he and a few of the castle men are in Elsa’s palace and one of the men is about to shoot Elsa and kill her, but Hans stops it even though he admits out loud to Anna later that he needed an accident to happen to Elsa so he could get the throne. Well, Hans, there’s your accident, did you have a sudden stroke of kindness to spare her or are you playing some sort of 4D chess us mere mortals are too stupid to understand? Because clearly having her being shot by someone else would absolve him of any guilt., and he’d definitely look less guilty than if he was going to slash Elsa in half on a frozen ocean in plain view of the castle. I know this criticism is a relatively dead horse so there’s no reason to go too in-depth with it. Hans doesn’t make sense and very easily you could have written Hans to be just a regular guy that serves the purpose of teaching Anna the lesson that true love isn’t found but is instead built over years. Who would be the villain then? Well, it’s simple, we already had the townspeople being generally scared of Elsa’s powers so it’s very easy for Disney to have just made them the antagonists. Elsa can still be captured and brought back to Arendelle with Hans not really wanting to kill her but the townspeople are sick and tired of this winter and they want her dead (this also coincidentally aligns with papa troll’s vision of Elsa’s power inspiring fear and people turning on her). Elsa could escape the prison just the same in the original movie only this time she goes outside and finds an angry mob waiting for her who try to chase her down. Anna sees this and can run to protect Elsa like she does in the original, she blocks a blade and that sends a powerful force that sends the townspeople backward. Anna turns into ice, Elsa cries, bada bing bada boom I just wrote you the last 7 minutes of Frozen but actually making sense without changing anything in the first hour and a half. I liked that the movie focuses on sisterly love and I think that’s ultimately the strength of Frozen and what differentiates it from other previous Disney princess movies. 

Meta-commentary

This movie also continues the meta-commentary on Disney’s family-friendly brand image that started with Tangled in this new era of animated movies, or perhaps with Enchanted if we count that as an animated film. I remember not noticing as much when my stupid little child brain was watching the movie for the first time but this time around I found it a bit annoying, especially given that the criticism they ‘address’ is extremely shallow, like ohh instead of marrying after three days Anna and Kristoff wait a few years until they marry, congrats Disney you have earned the progressive animation studios plaque. This is a bit nit-picky for this movie since this one isn’t egregious with the ‘subtle’ commentary, I feel like they’re particularly annoying in the live actions but generally passable in Frozen. 

The Plot that never

I think I have to mention in this video that originally Elsa was going to be a stone-cold villain who is redeemed at the end of the movie after learning how to love. This is the same version I mentioned previously where Hans was the twist villain who would try and set an avalanche on arendelle. Elsa and Anna weren’t going to be sisters so....can I just say that the plot as it is...it could have been an enemies-to-lovers story, featuring our first lesbian couple in a Disney movie. It feels like such wasted potential. I’m sure someone can write fanfiction with this idea to satisfy my...needs.  #i need this very very badly

The Animation

Arguably the best quality about any animated film is the animation. Even after 7 years I still feel awe and wonder when I watch Elsa raise her ice palace from snow and the animation of the ice is just jaw-dropping every single time I watch it. There’s one specific detail I love seeing and it’s Elsa’s shoes, like everything her skirt lifts up slightly when she’s running you get a peek at her shoes and they’re fucking gorgeous like she’s wearing glass slippers! Holy fuck her feet look so graceful and dainty and Elsa just single-handedly gave me a feet fetish. That’s what I took away from Frozen, sisterly love can conqueror all and feet are hot. Reading articles about the process of making Frozen really shows how dedicated the animators were to this project because they brought a real fucking reindeer in into the studios (allegedly according to this website I read). They studied the way cloth moves when it’s frozen by water and the way snow falls from a tree. It’s incredible and watching the movie you can really tell how dedicated the animators were to this project. 

The Legacy

Many believe that the release of Frozen and the earlier animated film Tangled started another renaissance period for Disney, which I think on some level is true since Disney has released quite a few of those ‘princess’ movies that feel like a return to form for the company in the past decade. In a more cynical view, I also feel like Frozen’s success was where Disney realized that merchandise was perhaps the most profitable thing under the sun. If anything the aggressive merchandising of the characters and the songs are what lingers in people’s minds after all these years. The toddlers shouting the lyrics to let it go at the top of their lungs, Frozen theme birthday parties, everyone wanting to dress up as Elsa for Halloween. I feel like the push to make as much money as possible off of Frozen’s success kind of diminishes the film itself. To the general public it isn’t remembered for its beautiful animation or its characters even to a certain extent, but instead, Frozen is remembered for its merchandise being absolutely everywhere which subsequently ended up with a lot of people being fed up with the property. I feel like we can definitely see the merchandising tactic Disney learned with Frozen with the new Star Wars trilogy where new droids were created en masse for merchandising purposes. 

Frozen also birthed a sequel that was largely forgettable in comparison to the first movie, which I feel very disappointed about since even more effort was clearly put into the animation on the second movie. I won’t get into the arduous rewrites and script overhauls that Frozen 2 experienced in this movie but I will say that the success of Frozen probably had something to do with the hyper management of the sequel that led it to be so mediocre and forgettable. 

The End

The overall feeling I have with this movie is nostalgia and fondness. Obviously, it isn’t a perfect movie and its themes and plot aren’t really that novel or perfectly executed either. I feel like a lot of people have forgotten that Frozen was an enjoyable movie and the reason for why it was so popular was because it was a heartfelt movie that was just pretty good. It’s by no means a perfect movie but I think it was a decent movie that will always have a place in my heart. 

[arks-self-ship]

I’ve mentioned before I cannot stop thinking about Nighty cause my brain is like “holy fuck we’ve been together roughly 6 years” so here’s a rough timeline of us

Please note this is our world life, and is very different from my real life and my experiences have been different. Some pieces have changed over the years to fit who I am (especially with my transition). Some details will vary on occasion but Nighty is the only one who I have an actual guideline for us

(Huge lore dump below)

2014- first meet, I was new to the institute and wasn’t really good at fighting and had trouble making friends with everyone. Kurt asked for my help setting up a prank on Jean cause I happened to be walking by and we started talking and found out we shared an interest in games and listened to a lot of the same music. Ended up being good friends and I started hanging out with him and kitty quite a bit, but wasn’t real close with the rest of the team because of how shy I was. Already knew I was a guy and had hormone blockers and a binder, my uniform had a compressor which was a lot safer and ended up wearing that under my clothes sometimes instead. Wasn’t yet ready to cut my hair to short yet. Depression had started before I even joined the team and was dealing with a  lot of personal stuff. The professor had helped me change my name legally before even joining which was nice

2015- Starting opening up to the team and getting closer with everyone and made some friends at school who were Kurt’s friends but didn’t really have any friends of my own yet. Was getting a lot better at fighting and getting a handle on my powers, and discovered I could use emotional energy to create real bursts later in the year. Started getting really into my art around this time too. Kurt was apparently starting to question his sexuality too but tried not to think about it. Came out to Kurt that I was trans at this point, later in the year told Kitty too. 

Around the middle of the year Kurt kissed me for the first time, we had just been hanging out in my room laying on my bed talking honestly about ourselves and having a nice conversation about our lives. I was caught off guard and didn’t kiss back and he panicked and teleported away. It was a couple days before we really had a chance to be alone and I kissed him back finally, and we ended up talking for a long time about what this meant for us. We ended up being like “We’re still best friends, but now there’s some new stuff to that”, and Kurt wasn’t ready to come out yet so we dated secretly and only Kitty knew. Kurt identified as Bi for a time while he sorted out his feelings but ended up realizing he was just gay late in the year. I was still ace but knew i was bi-romantic

2016- The Professor was really helpful and said he would help pay for any transitioning I wanted to do, as long as I did my best on the team and in school. Ended up telling the rest of the team one by one that I was trans, not everyone really got it but they were supportive and nice about it. Really started to get better at my powers and finally cut my hair real short and had a mohawk for a bit until I settled for an undercut later in the year. Made some friend’s of my own who tended to be the “scary kids” but were actually super chill and played a lot of video games. Ended up getting top surgery as soon as I could.

Same year mutantkind got exposed to the world and I had trouble going back to school with that going on and my depression hit hard, but Kurt was there to help. My new friends thought it was super cool I had powers tho and were a nice support system

Early in the year we had accidentally gotten caught kissing by Toad, who I ended up making him swear to secrecy under the threat of beating the shit out of him. Turns out, he was gay too! So as long as he didn’t tell anyone about us we wouldn’t tell anyone about him, but we ended up on pretty decent terms with him later on. Later though R/ogue borrowed Kurt’s powers in a fight and learned we were dating, but she also promised not to tell anyone. We were also pretty sure Logan, the professor and Jean all knew but weren’t sure (they did)

2017- Pretty chill year, until towards the end where me and Kurt got caught kissing at school by a kid we didn’t know and the news spread through the school really fast. It was really rough on him, but I ended up bringing him into my new non-mutant friend group cause they were mostly queer too. The team learning about it was… awkward to say the least but they we’re pretty chill about it. Because of this Kurt ended up coming out to his parents when he went home for Christmas that year right before he came back. It was rough at first and they didn’t really get it but were the awkward kind of supportive. I mean their kid was already blue and teleported, being gay wasn’t that shocking.

Me and Kurt had gotten really serious around this time, and were talking about our future together, but we were avoiding talking about college because we were scared we’d want to go separate places and long distance was really scary

2018- Senior year was rough for both of us, my grades were doing terribly and the depression didn’t help and everyone knowing about us being together and being mutants was really not helping. If we didn’t have each other I don’t think we could have made it through it, and I probably would have dropped out. I barely graduated but only because Jean helped tutor me and secretly some of my friends did some of the work for me so I could focus on things that were more of a priority. Graduating was so nice, but I suffered severe burnout that summer, and did nothing almost the entire time. Kurt also got an upgraded holowatch at this time that didn’t constantly break on him and was way more durable. I also figured out how to make the emotional energy take shape, easiest things are simple objects and its usually weapons (Swords, bats, bow, ect)

A couple things with our relationship did happen though, that Christmas I went to go meet Kurt’s family. They were super nice, but really awkward and it was nice to get away for a bit. While we were there we ended up finally talking about college and our plans. I knew I wanted to learn psychology and Kurt still wasn’t sure of his plans, but we ended up deciding to do the community college to get our general classes done first and that would buy us more time to figure things out.

2019- Took a gap year together and ended up traveling together across the country in a van. It was a great way to de-stress from everything and finally get a break from being superheroes too. The whole thing brought us a lot closer and Kurt tried to propose at one point while we were traveling, I ended up saying no but in a more of a “Not yet” kind of way, because of how young we are. We talked about it, and agreed we would get engaged when we were a bit older but we kept the rings as promise rings for that one day when we would try that again. We also ended up getting our hair streaks not long before we went back to the institute as a surprise for everyone, plus we thought it was cute.

Please note that the continuity of if there is a virus in this AU shifts based on what I’m feeling for the day cause sometimes I wanna daydream about going out 😔

2020- oh my god this year has been crazy, we started college together and finally being able to be out has been so nice. Or it was until ya know… we got hit with a plague (yup we have that here too) and have mostly been doing classes online which is a shame. We were both looking forward to campus life and being locked in the institute all the time is a nightmare, especially with all the new students that we’ve been roped into helping teach… But hey, hopefully things will be getting better soon!

2020 revised- This year has been wild, there’s so many new kids at the institute now! The professor keeps roping us in to help teach. Being back on the team though is super nice! Although we do have a new member, Laura, who Logan just apparently brought out of nowhere even tho she was the girl who attacked us a couple years back? She’s kinda odd but she’s trying her best (I think…). College has been interesting, some of my friends ended up moving away but some stayed in town which it’s been nice having classes with them.

Some things have stayed the same in both versions tho!

Kurt’s birth mom (M//ystique) has finally been working to turn over a new leaf. She’s definitely not a good guy but she’s not working with the bad guys anymore? Which i guess is progress?? She’s been trying to reconnect with Kurt and R/ogue, it’s been slow cause R/ogue doesn’t want anything to do with her really but Kurt’s talked to her a few times and they’ve gotten lunch a couple times. I guess after the apocalypse thing it kinda made her think about things, and then Kurt and me being gone for so long kinda made her really reconsider things.

It seems most of the brotherhood is still in town tho, which has caused some problems and they have a couple new members too which has been… a problem. M//agneto has been laying low though, which has been nice so the brotherhood hasn’t done anything to bad.

Being back at the school is kinda nice though, I missed being around my friends and luckily the school has had renovations and expansions so there’s more rooms and the senior/core team rooms have their own bathrooms! Which, holy shit is so nice…

Who knows what the future holds for us, but as long as we’re together I know we’ll be fine

[glarehand]

ranting a bit here bc as little as i interact w/ the rp community, largely due to focus issues, depression, and anxiety, i really do appreciate my mutuals, especially in light of being in different fandoms where things’ve happened and i just. Angery

so under the cut is a funny? irritating? text-wall about some star wars related stuff i’m bothered by lol

1. shipping; i like shipping. it’s fun, it’s interesting, i get to explore things in fiction that i don’t want to as strongly or at all irl as an aroace person, etc. first problem; i ship the clones bc i viewed them as, well, clones. an aggrandized version of that buzzfeed poll abt fucking clones, if u will. i view them as “brothers” in a wartime/militaristic sense because they’re... they’re clones. they’re the same person a million times that post-cloning, sought out ways to enhance their originality (tattoos, interests, etc) past their voices, abilities, personalities, and so on. they have originality but that isn’t compromised by their existence as people based off the same template. 

some people interpret them as literal brothers which is fine too! i only consider jango fett the father of boba fett/boba fett the son of jango fett, despite boba also being a clone. especially in mandalorian culture, adoption is as valid as blood, and boba fett’s relationship to jango fett absolutely strengthens this but it’s unique in that jango adopts one son/views the clones as the jedi army separate from himself and his son/dies without having any particular association with them.

but still, regardless, i can understand why people interpret them that way and i don’t have a problem with it and enjoy peoples’ differing interpretations. but when someone mentions that shipping the clones is undeniably incest (disregarding that cloning = incest is not by any means something that can be overlapped from fiction to real life so easily? it’s sci-fi so we also shouldn’t be seeking out real life parallels to things nor considering those parallels so hard proven?) it’s like... can you shut up for two seconds LOL like it... they’re... i don’t know how to explain to you that trying to draw hard lines between things unique to sci-fi and things in real life doesn’t work as flawlessly as that. if so, we could easily turn any other media into sci-fi or any sci-fi content into slice-of-life, deciding that of course the clones would be a million literal brothers and lightsabers would be 1000 degree knives and half the aliens would just be animals- like that’s stupid and disregarding the uniqueness of the media (though i adore aus- this isn’t a dig at aus or canon divergence bc that’s literally all i do)

and outside of some specific posts i’ve seen abt this, a groupchat i was in mentioned no rule abt this or any other ship related issues, meaning that i was existing inside the chat but with this heinous feeling secret? like i felt i either had to out myself for something someone else had decided was wrong or continue existing in the chat but not get too close to anyone, out of fear of a friendship being suddenly terminated over something as foolish as character interpretation (which can and should exist separately, at once).

in addition to the internal shipping/not shipping the clones debate, was clone/jedi shipping, preferred ships, and what this means in regards to what was left in terms of shipping options, if that was something someone wanted to engage in (which i do, and that they did as well)

2. for clone/jedi shipping, i understand the possible issues of a power imbalance or how the relationships are portrayed in media-only. but at the same time and as is mentioned above, we have to suspend our belief a bit for fiction, especially with sci-fi. the militaristic/war aspect of star wars is the point of that media; it doesn’t seek to glorify or mimic real life roles (ahsoka is a general at 14, amongst other things; that in particular allows for kids to feel like they’re part of the show, like they could do be a jedi and save people at age 14, because what would be the fucking point of it if we showed only adults saving the world/14 year olds with only 14 year old responsibilities? to an extent, it’s an escape and while it’s odd writing to hold ahsoka to the standards of mace, obiwan, even anakin, it should at least be a fantastical opportunity for self-insertion/daydreaming to an extent) it has a strong focus on rebellion which can be applied in non-physical/non-warlike ways, and isn’t without the fictitious aspect of fucking laser swords and telekinetic manipulation. the wartime aspects of star wars don’t need to be followed as closely as real life regulations and expectations; if done that way, even leia and han as a ship would involve a power dynamic seeing as he technically becomes a part of the rebellion under her leadership.

in terms of 3. show-only content and the above about power imbalances, that’s what fanfiction is for. in general and in relation to that chat, full of creators and writers and so on, fanfic is for elaborating on given content, filling in content that hasn’t been given, and for rewriting things you feel have been done wrong, artistically or just because you don’t like it. an example for me is barriss offee’s arc and timeline; not only does her timeline in the prequels differ from her timeline in the clone wars show but her character seemed to be thrown away so easily, her actions made out of character in addition to her fate being the opposite of what it had been in “higher” canon. there’s also the very valid interpretation of how bad it was that the show made the muslim-coded character a terrorist BUT even disregarding people’s headcanons of her as a muslim woman and just focusing on it in a sci-fi sense, it seemed very out of character, done just to create an antagonist and an opportunity for ahsoka’s development and disillusionment with the jedi/council so of course people gravitate to rewriting her arc/redoing her character/adhering to a mix of the canons, and so on. not that people who view canon as the most important aspect of a work are wrong but like, even fanfic that adheres to canon is in a way diverging from it; if what someone creates isn’t exactly how it happened on screen, canon-compliant, involves no ulterior emotions or added scenes, it’s based on interpretation. 

people who invest themselves in ships that have no basis (4) were also mentioned and that’s just as valid a part of creating. i understand in some cases, people will ship anyone together knowingly or unknowingly to fetishize gay relationships but it’s not a sin to decide you want to see two characters interacting more or want to elaborate on what canon didn’t discuss or want to create backstories and relationships out of the blue OR just outright decide you have two favorite characters and want to explore them together, even in just an nsfw sense.

so being anti clone/clone, anti jedi/clone, and anti any characters that don’t really interact is not only dictating what ships are “right” and “wrong” based on one’s own interpretation and willingness to strictly adhere to canon but what other options are you giving us to ship the clones???

again, not that nonromantic story aspects and single character discussion isn’t important but romance and romance options are important to people and if presented and possible, people shouldn’t be prevented from doing it just because people think it’s wrong with no legitimate basis OR don’t allow people to warp canon (especially canon they don’t like or think is contradictory and out of character) to suit what they wish to explore.

there was one option left though and i dislike the new association i have in my head of it now because of all the problems above, though i assume it wasn’t done on purpose: 5. disregarding in-show shipping possibilities for self inserts

i love self inserts and my love for them has been amplified by the chat i was in, making me feel more confident in doing it myself and i am very happy with that in that i can have more love for myself in writing myself and shipping myself with someone else. but it was odd that all other possibilities were almost struck down in favor of self inserts; if cloneshipping was automatically incest, disregarding that that’s not the conclusion everyone had come to? that my brain just didn’t assume it because it’s a sci-fi only situation?, jedi/clone ships were unhealthy and based off of power imbalances/characters not truly caring for one another, and shipping characters together for the fun of it had no value as characters apparently had to know one another enough/there had to be validity in it, the only option left was to rewrite canon but only for one’s own purposes, valid only in this one case.

that just annoyed my mildly and i know it most likely wasn’t intentional but overall, i’ve felt unable to have headcanons or do certain things at the risk of being visibly mocked for it; having different faves and ships and interpretations and kinks are all parts of people’s varying fandom experiences and to have people talking about how much they don’t like that on a very visible separate discord channel where i could go in and see? and just hope that something i adored wasn’t next? is not fun at all and genuinely impacted me to where i don’t really want to have fun with people i’d liked before, where i don’t really want to post and create like i was doing when i didn’t know people were deciding based on preferences what was morally appropriate.

one of the rules in the chat was essentially that anyone could have any fave character but that discourse still stood; yes but sometimes i just want to like a character or ship? without having to preface it with how i know x thing was bad and that i don’t condone it. 

kain highwind is my favorite final fantasy character- i don’t want to have to justify my love for him, in situations where i know he was in the wrong and in situations where i think the canon content contradicted other canon descriptions of him, creating two images of who they wanted him to be; i interpret him as i interpret him and it’s unique and dear to me. 

a lot of the time, i want to create and appreciate without having to make it right for someone else’s interpretation. i don’t want to approach a groupchat or even single person friendship assuming i’m going to have to defend my favorites as ultimately a representation of myself. when i do hold my favorites close to me as extensions of me, i don’t want to have to pit myself against someone else as if i’m invalid for how i feel and interpret and am.

in general, things quickly became not fun at all and i felt alienated by an entire group all at once. like it fucking SUCKS to feel like you’ve lost 6? potential friends in one place, 3 in another, in addition to having to be wary from now on when engaging with anyone else in that fandom and after losing two friends in real life over disagreements, both times because i was misinterpreted and had to then reconsider myself especially in relation to my mental illnesses and my neurodivergency. to then feel disliked for something as stupid as shipping preferences feels as it is- foolish and embarrassing and ridiculous.

i would like to make friends but i would like for friendships in fandom to stop being so circumstantial, especially on trivial things

[annoyed-galaxy]

In Honor Of

So if you saw my last post, you know I’m absolutely devastated beyond all belief. I had to write this because if I didn’t it was going to be on my mind as I went to bed so here you go.

Words: 2,176

Characters: Clerissa, Jespar Dal’Varek with mentions of Tharael

Summary: Clerissa becomes very depressed after the death of a close friend and finds comfort with Jespar.

(See You Again [that song that was made after Paul Walker] was playing on my Pandora as I wrote this, causing me to cry and weep more.)

!Spoilers ahead for the Rhalata questline!

Clerissa sat on the ledge for a good hour before slowly rising to her feet. Her hair was a mess, as she hadn't stopped running her hand through it. She had watched as his body slowly fell off the cliff into the massive body of water where the Room of Paintings had been.

She failed.

She failed to save him.

She took the scroll next to Brother Sorrow's body and with a heavy heart and long sigh, teleported back to Ark.

Upon her arrival, she immediately went to his old hideout. He had given her his key. She opened the chest and took everything, even the old silverware and bowl and plate. She sat on his crate and let the tears come again; her body did not move. The tears simply fell down her face and onto her armor. She had taken his daggers. It was the last thing she would ever have of him. Her heart was aching.

She had been mentally scarred when the illusion of Jespar had attacked her in the temple. Even though it had been an illusion, she couldn't help but feel as if it was Jespar and if she had killed him.

But that had been washed away.

Jespar was alive but...Tharael.

She failed.

She needed to drink it away. In the short time she had known him, he had become her third best friend. But...like Sirius and Aravel, he died.

He jumped.

He killed himself.

She failed.

He thought she didn't believe in second chances.

Clerissa stood, stumbling a little, before moving out of the shed. She took the long trek from the Undercity to the Foreign Quarter. By the time she got to the Dancing Nomad, her tears had dried up on her face, but her armor had weighed her down.

She didn't know what on Vyn she was doing at the Nomad, but her legs had taken her there. She opened the door and the happy music the band was playing filled her pointed ears. Music normally brought joy to her, but the music couldn't penetrate the darkness swirling her heart. Her eyes breifly passed over Jespar who was smoking a pipe and smiling as he watched the band perform. His eyes met hers for a brief moment before she walked to the innkeeper.

Sifting through her bag, she brought out a pouch of pennies and threw it on the bar. "Give me the strongest shit you have, whether it be mead, ale, beer, or wine." The innkeeper looked at the pouch with wide eyes. "And for everyone else in here if they want. Their drinks, on me tonight." The innkeeper shrugged before swiping the pouch away and grabbing a few bottles of each type. He plopped them down in front of Clerissa and she grabbed them all; seven bottles in total that she carried in her arms. There was only one bottle of wine.

She began walking towards the back of the inn to head upstairs when Jespar stepped in front of her. "What are you doing?" he asked, confusion on his face. "I've never seen you get anything other than wine and you only have one bottle." Jespar looked at all the bottles in her arms. "Something wrong?" he asked.

Clerissa didn't feel like talking, but one look at Jespar's eyes and she knew she wouldn't be getting away without telling him what was up. She jerked her chin towards the stairs and started heading towards them, Jespar in tow. Once they got upstairs, Clerissa began heading towards one of the vacant rooms. Jespar hurriedly stepped in her way and guided her towards his room. He opened the doors and allowed her through. She dropped the bottles on the bed and plopped down. She peeled her chestplate off as Jespar closed the door and sat in a chair sitting across the bed. He averted his eyes as Clerissa threw her chestplate on the floor. She didn't care if she was shirtless in front of him. In fact, she didn't give a damn about anything at all.

She scooted herself towards the back wall and leaned against it as she took a bottle of mead and popped the cork. Jespar watched as she chugged the bottle, some of the contents rolling down the sides of her mouth. She finished the bottle in seconds before taking a breath and letting out a burp. She opened the bottle of ale next and chugged half of it before looking at Jespar. "How do I look?" she asked, her voice raspy from hours of not speaking.

Jespar bit his lip as he looked at her tear-stained face, ruffled hair and dark bags underneath her eyes. "I would say you look charming and beautiful as usual, but holy shit you look awful. I thought it impossible." Clerissa let out a sound that was meant to be a chuckle but was actually a croak. "What the fuck happened?"

Clerissa took a deep breath, chugged the rest of the ale, and then burped. She put the empty bottle alongside the other one. "You remember Tharael right?"

"The broody Aeterna?"

"Yeah, him. He was a part of the Rhalata. We had come up to the surface to get ready for a trip to this temple that the leader of the Rhalata, the Father, had wanted to go to. I told him I'd introduce him to my friends so I did. You remember?" Jespar nodded, his eyebrows raised in confusion as he waited for Clerissa to continue. "Well, the reason Tharael and I met was because he was wanting someone to help him kill the Father. As we all know, the Father isn't exactly a good person. This trip to this old ass temple was the one chance we were going to get to kill the Father. The Father wanted to do some bullshit ritual to separate his spirit from his body or what the fuck ever. We got to the temple, found this place the Father wanted us to find and then we confronted him. The Father explained that he conducted experiments on Tharael and that he was one of the successful experiments along with his brother Letho. Tharael had thought Letho to be dead when in reality he had been present the entire time, but merely as a husk of who he once was.

The Father revealed Letho and Tharael was so broken at Letho's state that he killed him. Then he attacked the Father. I helped. It was difficult and I had a headache because I used so much of my magic that I had to draw my sword and pierce it through the Father's back. We thought he was dead, but he just came back, knocked us out, and completed his ritual along with a group of his choosing. When I got to where the room he completed the ritual was, it was gone and there was just a giant hole in the earth. Tharael was on the ledge and I talked to him." Clerissa stopped. The tears rose again and she wiped them away with her bare arm before grabbing one of the bottles of beer and chugging it. The world titled and began to fuzz, but she didn't give a fuck. "The person I was talking to was broken. Tharael was gone. He told me sorry. He said to forgive him."

Clerissa squeezed the empty bottle, frost coming out of her hand and spreading across the bottle. It shattered, cutting her hand. Jespar jumped up from his chair and hurriedly searched through the wardrobe to find a spare piece of clothing. He climbed onto the bed alongside Clerissa and grabbed her hand, wrapping the shirt around her bleeding hand. She didn't feel the stings. She didn't even look as Jespar fussed over her. She was still staring ahead. She felt herself back on that ledge and felt herself cry out as Tharael jumped.

"I...I couldn't move," she whispered. Jespar was sitll holding her hand, squeezing it with the cloth, but he was looking at her again. His pale blue eyes swirled with worry. "I failed, Jes. I tried to tell him it was okay. We could make it together...I couldn't move. He said to forgive him." Clerissa's voice broke as a sob tore through her. "He jumped. Life wasn't worth living anymore. He jumped and I couldn't help but watch as another fucking friend died because of me." Clerissa squeezed her hand again, this time with Jespar's own in her grip. He whimpered as she squeezed his hand to the point of pain. She let go, but still stared ahead. "He thought I didn't believe in second chances because of an evil man I didn't try to save. He didn't think he was worthy. I failed him. Just like I failed Aravel and Sirius." A wicked sound crawled its way out of her throat. "What's next I wonder?" Her head finally turned and her eyes landed on Jespar. "Am I to fail you and Calia next?"

Clerissa could see her reflection in Jespar's eyes. She hated the person she saw in it. She saw a woman who was broken. She saw a woman who's eyes were glazed over with pain. She saw a woman who felt like giving up, just like Tharael.

Jespar slapped her across the face. Clerissa gasped and covered her cheek with her free hand. "Don't ever say that again!" Jespar practically shouted at her. Rage glazed over his eyes. Rage and...love. "You didn't fail anyone Clerissa! Things happen in life. There are some things you just can't stop. You didn't fail Aravel. You didn't fail Sirius. You didn't fail Tharael and you sure as hell won't fail me and Calia. Tharael chose to end it, but if he asked for your forgiveness, clearing he already had regrets."

"You don't understand, Dal'Verak!" Clerissa shouted back. "I let him kill a man who was a murderer. That made him think that I didn't believe in second chances. He murdered people because of a goal that eventually turned out as a failure. I told him he had a second chance but he didn't think I believed in them because of the choice I made! I failed him Jespar! I fucking failed him like I failed to protect Aravel! I failed him like I failed to take a blow for Sirius! I fucking fail my family and friends! It's a fucking pattern don't you see?! Everyone I fucking cares about DIES!" Clerissa's voice broke as she finished shouting. There was no more rage as tears began falling and she began sobbing. She lowered her head, ashamed. "How the fuck am I supposed to stop the Cleansing when I can't even talk a friend out of suicide. How the fuck am I supposed to stop the Cleansing when I can't even protect those I care about the most."

Jespar grabbed Clerissa's face with both of his hands and forced her to look at him. "Clerissa, things will happen in life. There are some things that we can't reverse and that we have to live with. You have to realize that. You haven't failed anyone. I know that Aravel, Sirius, and Tharael all knew that you cared for and loved them. I know that because that's all you are Clerissa. The people you decide to be your family, you love them unconditionally. You try everything in your power to protect them. I know because I'm a part of that. You didn't fail them Clerissa. You haven't failed anyone." Jespar brushed his thumb across her cheek, wiping some of her tears away. "You will never fail as long as you show that you tried."

Clerissa sighed before falling into Jespar's chest. He hugged her and rubbed his hands up and down her shoulder. He kissed the top of her head. Clerissa flung her good hand out and grabbed the pipe that Jespar had left on the table with her magic and let it float towards her. Her hand wrapped around the pipe and she took a deep and long drag. She exhaled for a long time before giving the pipe to Jespar. He took a drag but held the smoke in as he lifted Clerissa's chin, making her look at him. He kissed her and let the smoke go from him to her.

Clerissa closed her eyes and smiled as the effects of the peaceweed settled in her body. Why didn't she think about that rather than drinking all the alcohol? Jespar pulled away and the smoke drifted from both of their mouths. "Ah, there's that lovely smile." Clerissa smiled even wider. They both situated themselves to the point where they were laying down, Jespar holding Clerissa against his chest. She had scooted herself lower in the bed so she could curl underneath his chin. He rubbed his hand up and down her back as she slowly drifted to sleep.

That night, she dreamed of Aravel, Sirius, and Tharael and how they would be waiting for her in the afterlife with smiles.

[msmoonlighter]

All About Freya Merrynight-Gunnulf

Name: Freya Merrynight-Gunnulf of the Seelie Queen’s Court Undercover Identity: Sage Wisteria Thorn of Seelie  Ethnicity/Nationality: If she were human? White? I mean she was born to a  viking dad so. But she’s mostly non-human. She’s a gentry faerie, meaning she looks almost totally human, save for a few little details such as pointed ears, unnaturally vibrant dark green and gold eyes, unnaturally bright red hair, ethereal beauty. She is however, 25% human and her father was a Norwegian Viking who was half fae. It’s a whole thing. Age: 27 in fae years, roughly 1000 n’ something in human years, but time works differently in Faerie Species: ¾ Faerie. Shows no signs of being any percent human because faerie blood is dominant when it hits the 3/4 mark. Half fae have a fifty fifty chance of coming out human or fae, but they still carry fae genes. Gender: Female Height/ Body type: 5’9, curvy hips, hourglass, kinda a va va va voom body type, y’know? I can’t draw her right. She looks regal, and queenly, and tall. She’s supposed to give off elegant and sensual vibes. Appearance: Long red hair in loose waves, vibrant and rich forrest green eyes. Has a powerful sort of air. Like a feminine, flirty, but powerful air. Like she knows she could absolutely demolish everyone around here in her highest heels and come out on top. A tattoo-like image of vines sprawling around her shoulder down her torso and to her leg. She hides it with a glamour when she’s in public. The glamour can be dismantled if she’s severely injured or if for some reason her magic is drained or she’s severely weakened.

Family:

Father: Artair Gunnulf (His name meaning “As strong as a bear”, the strongest warrior of his tribe. The son of a human Berserker and a faerie woman.)

Mother: Aoife Merrynight (Powerful fae sorceress, left Sage for dead in the middle of the forest and then wanted her back when her powers sparked to life. Manipulative and abusive. Very Mother Gothel-like. Sold her daughter’s very existence to Titania Queen of the Faeries. We do not stan.)

Job: Works as a third grade school teacher in Middleverse.  She’s been in Middleverse for a little more than a year, and for most of that time she was unemployed, focusing mostly on tracking down whoever Titania wanted her to. During the summer her best friend Storm convinced her to work as a lifeguard. Later on her link to Titania and the faerie realm, an elf named Opal informed her that she had landed her a job teaching third grade at a local elementary school. Freya schooled the children of Titania’s court so she was kind of qualified but there was still a lot of fake it till you make it bullshit at the beginning. She loves her kids though, and would literally take a bullet for each and every one of them. Her real job, however, is serving as Titania the Seelie Queen’s personal spy and assassin, tasked with keeping tabs on on the residents of Middleverse for signs of people working to overthrow Titania. She’s supposed to capture the people orchestrating the assassination/overthrowal attempt and bring them to Titania dead or alive, and get rid of anyone who stands in her way by any means. This job takes a toll on her as you can imagine, and her conscience is never quite comfortable with that tall order. She’s grown up a warrior, she’s grown accustomed to violence, but Titania is corrupt and wicked, and some of the people she’s been tasked with killing were entirely innocent by all logic. She wants out, but since she’s magically tethered to Titania, she can’t betray her. Hobbies: Gardening, exploring the forest, swordplay, wood carving, archery, writing bits of novels she never publishes, writing  poetry, reading, calligraphy, playing the violin, experimenting with nature magic, she enjoys surfing, puzzles and word games Personality: She gives me the Badass Female Spy Who Pulls Out A Tube of Lipstick and It Turns Out To Be A Knife/Taser/Lock pick/Laser and Can Run After a Bitch At Top Speed In Heels Vibe. If she were a super villain she’d be Poison Ivy hands down.  She’s extremely intelligent, quick-witted, and clever, and even for a fae she’s especially good at twisting words. She can lie, being part human, and that combined with her fae magic makes her a dangerous opponent, especially since no one can guess she’s part human and assume she can’t lie. While lying comes easy for her, she feels guilty when lying to people she cares for. Often she does it to hide her double life from them. She’s most certainly the mom friend, or at least the Vodka Aunt friend, but is probably the only sober person coming back from group outings. She doesn’t drink much, and when she does, it’s faerie wine or nothing. She loves nature with a passion and is going to start a greenhouse in the woods behind her house with the help of her coworker and friend Zoe. She tends to be reckless, and has a bit of a temper. She’s awfully flirtatious, and often it means nothing to her. However when she really is interested in someone, you can tell. Mostly because she’s rarely ever actually becomes interested in someone for more than just a fun time, and when she does the flirting kind of dies down and she starts to feel uneasy. She doesn’t like the idea of caring about too many people when her life is so dangerous. Freya has a rebellious streak and it often arises in the form of her going directly against Titania’s orders, knowing she’ll be punished for it, but needing to feel free for once.  She never tries to escape, but she’ll disobey in little ways. Ways that piss the queen off. She hates feeling as if she’s not in control of her own life, and that’s kind of ironic because she literally isn’t. Titania could order her to stick a knife in her own stomach and she’d have to. Freya craves adventure and adrenaline, and is always up for a challenge.  Before she became a teacher she was in this apathetic state of depression, and really just didn’t give a shit about anyone or anything especially not herself anymore. But her friends and the school kids changed her for the better because I’m all for wholesome character arcs where the jaded main character unintentionally adopts a bunch of kids and becomes a better person. It’s cliche. Sue me.

Backstory: She was born a little over a thousand years ago from the strange one night stand between a Viking Berserker named Artair Gunnulf and a faerie sorceress named Aoife Merrynight. Artair was the strongest warrior of his clan, and his name literally meant “As strong as a bear”. He himself was half fae on his mother’s side, but he never knew since his father never knew. His mother left them when he was around ten because Titania found out about the union and commanded she return. Aoife was a full gentry fae woman. Gentry look almost completely human save for a few features such as unnatural colored hair, eyes, skin, pointed ears, and strange markings. They’re similar to elves, but have a more powerful and dramatic sort of reputation. While elves are often tied to nature, gentry are tied to nothing but magic itself. Aoife was a sorceress, known in Titania’s court for being a huge kiss ass to the queen, and all in all a really low-down, selfish person. She was Titania’s most trusted advisor, and as such was allowed to do as she wished. So she went to the human world in search of some fun.

She thought Artair was a ruggedly handsome redhead piece of ass, and she was bored, and so she seduced him real quick and then left town. When she had their child she was disgusted. She didn’t want a half human baby. To her anyone who wasn’t fae was weak and useless to her. So she dumped the tiny baby in the middle of the human forest. Real lovely chick, I’m telling you. Now, as fate may have it, Artair was hunting in the forest that very same day, and a few hours into his hunt he heard a baby crying. He found this newborn baby in the middle of the forest and was like “Yo what the fuck who left their kid here? That’s messed up.” He instantly felt a fatherly connection to this baby, so he wrapped her up in his cloak and carried her home. Time works differently in faerie. A week in the human world could be a mere hour or a year in the faerie realm. Years had passed down on Earth, and Artair had married a woman named Gala, who he loved and adored. They adopted the baby and named her Freya after their favored goddess. Freya grew up happily in the human world. She was nicknamed Bear Cub because she often paraded around in her father’s bearskin cloak. She learned all about the gods of her people, she learned how to fight, how to use a sword and knives and became a great archer. She made friends and loved her father and mother. She might’ve been happy if her powers hadn’t surfaced when she turned fifteen. She started showing signs of possessing magic around thirteen, but one day shortly after her fifteenth birthday, her faerie side really burst forth. She was training with the other village youth when a boy she particularly disliked accidentally cut her thigh. She had been distracted by a flash of light from the woods, likely from a faerie performing some sort of ritual, and stumbled instead of blocking his swing. His sword was made with iron, and iron is poisonous to faeries so the gash hurt more than usual. The boy was elated that he’d managed to get a strike in, and kept coming at her. She tried to block him, but the pain in her leg was so harsh that she could barely focus. She staggered back until she fell to the ground. When she felt the intense pain of being cut, she cried out and some primal part of her raged to life. Her eyes lit up with a green light and the forest behind them began to rumble. Out of the trees came an abundance of animals. Wildcats, wolves, birds, snakes. With them came tree roots, and vines. They advanced to defend her, but there was no need. The others ran screaming back home. After the pain receded, the animals left and the flora slithered back into the forest. That’s how she earned the nickname Forest Shaker. That night as she was telling her parents what had happened, Aoife showed up. She told them that she was the girl’s mother and that she wanted to take her back to Faerie where she belonged. Of course Artair, Gala and Freya refused. Freya told Aoife that she was perfectly fine where she was. Artair told her she wasn’t going to take her anywhere and Gala informed her that she lost the right to be with Freya when she abandoned her in the forest.   When Aoife threatened violence, Artair beat her to the punch, and came at her with his golden sword. So of course Aoife killed them. And then she dragged Freya kicking and screaming into the forest before finally knocking her out and taking her to Faerie. Freya was raised as her mother’s prisoner almost. She was allowed to visit the human world only when Aoife needed things from there, and often could only stay for one or two human years. She was considered a dirty halfbreed by the other gentry faeries. While she felt more at home with the humans, they aged so quickly, and often she’d leave them and come back from Faerie only a year later to find things had completely changed. To make things worse, after her schooling was finished, and she started to become more and more rebellious, Aoife realized that Freya might try to escape one day. So she took Freya to Queen Titania of Seelie. She offered her own daughter as a servant to the queen, suggesting that because she was so skilled in battle, that she could be a valuable soldier. Titania accepted and Freya became a soldier for Seelie. Slowly she proved herself to be valuable, and as more unease in the kingdom arose, and enemies of the crown began to sprout, Titania appointed Freya as her personal assassin. Freya hated this so passionately that she tried to run away for good. She was caught, and dragged back to her mother and the queen. Aoife, fearing her daughter might actually end up managing to escape one day, suggested to the queen that she bind Freya to the throne with magic, so that she wouldn’t be able to leave without permission or betray her. Titania agreed and bound the curse physically by creating a swirling vine pattern on Freya’s skin. It burned like hellfire, but Freya could do nothing to stop it. Ever since she’s been forced to obey the queen’s commands, unable to break free. If she tried, the vines on her skin would burn agonizingly, stopping her from being able to think, much less act. She’s halfway between hope and giving up. But one day, she swears she’ll break the curse and do everything in her power to avenge her parents and take Titania down.

[motherstone]

Can you tell us more about your OCs? How are the OG cast their ancestors? Are Gabi and Sandra happy together now? Married yet? Your OCs are so rad and I love their story

!! AaaaAA thank you!! 😄😄😭😭💟💗💞💘💓💕💘💝 that’s is so rad of you op!!! And I’ll try my best to tell them a bit of their story:

Lemlin is born with a birth defect (underdeveloped elf ears), which makes him unable to receive vibrations (I hc the tip of elf ears are used to detect so) and hear things properly. He doesn’t really want implants and is actually perfectly fine with his disability, so he wears hearing aids instead and elf ears prosthetics just in battle. He had a full-blooded elf brother, Jaqes, who was the son of a wealthy nobleman before the Nobility class was dissolved a long time ago. They have a close and amiable relationship with one another, but Jaqes didn’t know he’s a member of the covert Auxiliary, much less a sharpshooter (which is ironic, because he’s the head of the Central Intelligence Division in there, a mix of CIA and FBI). Lemlin has a variety of friend including both humans, elves, and halflings. He’s really interested in theater, which is actually pretty suitable with his disability (deaf people are incredibly expressive while signing so yea!), and often goes on shows (Gigas goes with him on ocassion. They sorta have a father-son relationship haha). He’s the elf equivalent of 16 (no one knows. They thought he’s 22, it also doesn’t help he has his helmet on all the time). Lemlin is pan-ace. He lives in Milre, Gulfen.

Ian has a very strained relationship with his father (hc is that nearly all who is part of the Elf army are abusive fathers because they didn’t get the treatment they needed at the time), who is at odds with his homosexuality. He doesn’t care though, although at first he inherited his racism. That is, until his sister (Mako) had teenage sex with a human (who broke up with her when she got pregnant), and thus giving birth to a halfling, much to his anger. He’s even more furious with humans over this, but eventually realize his anger was bullshit, especially when his nephew was born. Now he has human friends, a human BESTfriend (Sandra), and is now seatching for a boyfriend (he’s working on it. If they can’t handle his personality they gotta go). Ian is passive-aggressive and sarcastic at times, especially on the field, so it causes great friction among the group, he is also prideful and assured with his great skills and technicality. However for all of his ego, he is a good leader when Gabi is not around and gets the job done, and is incredibly competent at what he do (he’s based on a few teachers and a classmate of mine haha). He’s the elf equivalent of 26, with kinfe skills, mechanic skills, pilot skills, and tactic skills, only second to Gabi (but the gap is still wide). He’s gay. He lives in Gorbon, Windsor.

Gigas! Big and friendly Gigas. He used to live in Ganon’s Gate, and had a halfling bestfriend, that is until said friend was lynched, to his great horror. It leads him to killing someone who went after him, which landed him in jail. Thankfully, Gulfen’s prison system is revised thanks to the King (Trellis. It’s similar to how prisoners are treated in Norway), so his actions are recognized as self-defense. While in prison, someone from the Auxiliary sees potential in him (it helps that he’s huuuuge. Like, 6"10’ huge. I decided that 7 feet is too tall), and thus offers to recruit him once his term is finished. By then, he’s a changed man, learning from experience, books, and stories from the inmates helped him develop a kinder and helpful personality (still cheerful tho. He’s always a joyous and passionate man). He gets into the Auxiliary and was assigned to Lufen, Coco, where he met his wife. It was a celebratio for the end of the great war, and the city was holding a huge banquet (similar to the fiesta of the Philippines where the food is laid out on a huuuuge table), and that’s where he met his future wife, whom he loudly comolimented her cooking (he’s a cook himself). There’s a lot more to his story besides this but I’ll cut it off. He’s the elven equivalent of 36, and is an incredibly strong guy, but lacks any sort of outstanding ability besides that. His personality acts as a great mediator amongst the group, and as a guiding and kind voice to all, and is very friendly towards Theorn. He’s straight. He lives in Coco, Lufen with his son and wife.

Sandra! She’s the physical incarnation of Dumb Bitch Energy (aaaa bit of a self-insert ahah). But by God is she agile and fast. She has 4 siblings (a couple are adopted) and she’s the oldest, her family owning a farm in Lufen. She used to be assigned in Gulfen to detect and neutralize landmines with her dog, until her legs got blown off along with her companion. It devastated her so much, she uses sex to cope (she’s hypersexual, but dw she is working on it). Sandra can a bit slow and dim-witted at times, but has a treasure trove of street smarts with instincts to match and is a friendly person to anyone regardless. She is on ocassion sorta oblivious to the atmosphere, which makes her make a situation worse, but if you direct her on the field, she uses her creativity to do her job efficiently. She’s bffs with Ian, often spending time with one another to the point of a qpr (queer-platonic relationship. THAT close). She’s 23. She’s bi/pan. She lives in a developing town of Lufen.

Theorn, an expert swordsman who is the only person left from the Redbeard warrior clan. He’s still using Leon’s sword, still at good shape, at the age of repulsor and stonekeeper tech (which is impractical but he’s still good fighter so they don’t stop him). He was orphaned at a young age, but developed a strong moral code regardless and became a police officer in Kanalis as a result. He got tangled in with the Auxiliary when he gets out during a lockdown (upon which all citizens goes underground for safety) to help people when the city is attacked by a rogue mountain giant, and sees Gabi slaying the thing and encountering Ian (who is in a different squad from Gabi. This is so long ok), which he is not meant to do or see, as the Auxiliary’s existence must be kept secret. He and Ian fights but they were toe to toe when it comes to close combat, they knock him out and takes him to the Hexagon (Auxiliary HQ) with the intent to wipe his memory of the event, to which he simply pleads to join, feeling he’ll be able to contribute more. Now he’s in a squad of the weirdest, egoistic people he’s met, and although looking serious, is absolutely at a loss of words at the Auxiliary’s odd happnings and morbid humor (heard soldiers develop nihilistic and fatalistic sense of humour once), but deep respect at the fights and sacrifices that they do. His lawful, goody-good personality is often at odds with the group (he’s kind of the prim and proper guy while these dudes… Can be wacky at times), to his great frustration, with Gigas the only person taking him seriously. He is at most odds with Ian (haha sexual tension everyone?) and with Gabi’s chaotic neutral/good personality. He is still good friends with them tho and cares about their sakes. Theorn is still a reliable and the most trustworthy guy of the group, and although his skills are nowhere near outstanding outside parkour, hand-to-hand combat and swordplay, he is strong, fast, and agile in his own way. He’s 24. Theorn is bi/pan.He lives in Kanalis, Windsor.

Gabi. Hot-headed, incredibly petty, batshit strong and skilled Gabi. She follows her own moral code, and is often at odds with the authority at Auxiliary and her own squad until she realizes her toxic attitude aint shit and changed. Now she’s the most serious of the group, but at least reasonable. Has a very fucked up sense of humour and hates Theorn’s personality (cop-convict anyone?), but ultimately came to resoect him for insisitng on doing good in a shitty world. Has a serious crush on a developing artist, who was pretty nice and her cheerful and lax personality helps her feel safe and comfortable, helping her develop social awareness and skills. She is in fact, not in a relationship with Sandra (not her type). Her crush used to have a crush on someone, but eventually stops and slowly has a crush on her (not that she knew. She was p much resigned to unreqruited love). But like her, her cursh has a deep set of mental issues, leading her to fall into depression and neglect, making her unable to work on her recruitment piece for Gulfen’s Institution (which offers free tuiton to its students should they oass and it’s a great school). Gabi then often breaks out of the Auxiliary without permission and during vacation months to take care of her recovery (it started when her mother beat her up in her OWN home, an small dilapilating apartment, making her feel paranoid and unsafe. It ignited old self-loathing and unwavering sadness yet again). She eventually gets better, and gets accepted, to the duo’s happiness. At a celebration party, she takes Gabi as her plus one. As they dance, Gabi finally confesses her feelings, which her crush actually reciprocates. They then starts a happy and healthy relationship. She the elven equivalent of 25. She’s a butch lesbian and lives in an unspecified part of Gulfen. Did I mention Gabilan is her pops

Ravis. He, him/they, them. They think idealistically on ocassion, even ny Theorn’s standards so the squad is kind of exasperated with him. It doesn’t help he is more naive and inexperience in comparison to them (yes, even Lemlin), with a good childhood to boot (in comparison to theirs) so it took quite a long while for them to warm up the guy. Ravis used to have a happy and healthy childhood in Lucien with his mother, and his father working abroad in Gulfen, but visits them very feequently. It all changes when the King suddenly (tw: suicide) committed suicide (?) (they never found the body), plunging the Elf nation into chaos and government shutdown affecting their lives outside Gulfen. They continue on regardless, with their mother ending up as a widow, and they studied to become one of the leading pioneers of Alchemy, under their mother’s tutelage. They then studied combat under three teachers during their teen years, and in nearing the end of their third term, theur mother is afflicted with an unprecedented terminal illness, and dies. Even though they are of age, they quietly move into the North East of Gulfen, in a remote village where they work as a healer. Needing his intelligence, the squad was sent over to recruit and escort them, in order to investigate a chemical used when an attack on the Border Guard occurs, leading to a breach and thus ending the 500 years of the Gate being infallible. They nevertheless have a compassionate and empathetic nature, driven to help others especially those in need. He is quite well-spoken and intelligent, and has good social skills. Oddly enough, he doesn’t really have friends until the squad. They’re the elven equivalent of 20, and is a certified doctor.

[gurguliare]

DVD: that one scene from your fic about Dirhaval, with the elf lady and the two of them being really intent with each other over the fire. "Do you love me" et cetera. I hope that makes sense I'm on mobile.

omg IT DOES although since that fic barely has scene divisions I’m going to take this excuse to do… a lot of it.

“I have remembered something,” she added, inconsequentially. “My aunt’s husband was Guilin’s steward. Everyone in my family hated him because he always making up to us with stories about the great princes. He said that Gwindor and Finduilas fought much over the Adanedhel’s love for her.”

I… I love this OC. She’s not even a box of rocks, she’s like, a box with one rock in it. Selectively dense; elsewhere, airheaded.

Dírhaval considered the fish with great interest. He had been told triumph lent him a fierce expression. He had no wish to scare his friend off now.

I can’t remember if @crocordile​ and I had a conversation before or after I wrote this about Dirhavel being like, not necessarily a big but an energetic guy who’s frequently seen around the camps doing SUPER WEIRD athletic shit to see if some of the feats he attributes to Turin were physically possible—anyway, whatever the timing, that concept was what I was psychically tuned into when I wrote this description. He has a beard and it bristles despite his best efforts to keep it trimmed.

“Raised voices—he overheard—Gwindor said, ‘Why does he seek you out, and sit long with you, and come ever more glad away?’ And that was true, I remember; they sat together in all kinds of places, on the terraces, in the treasury, and even by the earthworks for the bridge. No doubt he told her much you would be glad to know. But as for me, I think Gwindor a fool; few men would have loved her for listening. It reminds them what they hold dear in themselves.”

It was really hard for me to strike what seemed like a reasonable balance between hearsay and direct observation, but I leaned on the idea that Nargothrond, though huge, was not like, “modern city space” huge, more “sprawling overdeveloped apartment complex and you need a permit to go above ground”—so in five years and with perfect memory, everyone has a decent chance of stumbling on everyone else’s attempts at fresh air.

“That’s true,” he said. The first time he had interviewed her, she had spoken for an hour about the cavern of assembly, like an egg on its side—but so vast!—and with stalactites Finrod himself had sung down into pillars, or was it that he had worn holes in the walls parting small caves, she couldn’t decide; and the window on the river, whence a grey light came, like a shadow thrown on the gliding light of a thousand lamps and torches.

I think this description of the great hall is kind of cute but I have to acknowledge it was influenced, consciously or subconsciously, by the great hall in the Rats of Nimh.

And now when she spoke it was matter-of-fact and with hardly a jibe at her uncle. She was Túrin to him in that moment with her straight-sloping neck, the flushed skin of her neck and jaw with her face as fair as fair could stay at sunset, the cupful of shadow under her chin. He had burned the roof of his mouth. The fish was tender, almost flavorless, flaking between his teeth like a cake of river-flesh; a little muddy, even, as all water here was. He ate the crisped-black skin for a whiff of charcoal, which coated his mouth. “Don’t you love me, your loyal hearer?”

She gave him a startled wink; and smiled, and smiled.

Okay, so yes. I do love this moment, I hope it does a lot of things at once; basically I want 1) Dirhavel to be ironic in a nice way about his elf friend attempting to invent the term “emotional labor,” which reflects both a male impatience with this attempt to generalize everything to men talking women’s ears off, but also some vague species-based edginess about him trying to construct this human story out of testimony from elves, and like, navigating elves’ possessiveness of Turin but also the way they patronize him in the same breath, Adanedhel. And at the same time having to confront the fact that people are people and the elf-human boundary has gotten increasingly blurry with the end times, however much he might want to retain a sense of lofty apartness, whether as a human among elves, a writer among subjects, a man among women, whatever—that tension between observer distance and involuntary empathy is another big theme of this fic. And 2) I want the cook to catch it but not quite get it—like, she knows he’s making fun of her but she doesn’t necessarily interpret it in the same way he does, what she gets is that he’s talking about the limits of different kinds of love, that you can love someone and it can still go just so far: that’s why it triggers her next thought about Finduilas –> Turin.

“I do not think Finduilas loved the Mormegil either. Or, that is, I believe they loved one another as sister and brother.”

I said this in my commentary on an otherwise VERY different LOGH fic but I love when characters are wrong. Every time. Also, I love childish oversimplifications that have good reason for existing—that is, I like when you can really see why a character would with all their heart want to believe x, because the alternative is both messy and depressing.

Trying to lick his fingers clean just spread around the soot. Among the things she had told Dírhaval was that she was an only child. But he was inclined to believe her, almost. To Finduilas Túrin should have been a child. She must have wanted to love him like a brother—it would have been best, by far clearer and finer, to love him as a brother, even when her death walked near. The death he handed her down to; but if they were kin, it would have been her right to love him, blaming him.

“Do you not agree?”

Dirhavel takes this basically as like, confirmation for his thesis that all real love is irrational and unconditional (see also Gwindor wanting Finduilas and Túrin to be happy at his own expense, a few lines down) but only familial love has the “excuse” to be so. So the distinction is not, “would I love him whatever he did to me,” but rather, “do I feel fucked up and guilty about that fact or not.” In a vague way, this is supposed to set up the extremely bleak lines he gives Nienor after she gets her memory back: twice beloved.

“I can’t say.” Up again to pace. She followed him, basket on her arm, and settled onto her haunches when she saw he had no journey in mind. He stood when he performed, which was not hard, but it made him more restless when alone.

See above remarks about Dirhavel’s acrobatics, and also maaybe his ADHD

“I think—by the time—no, Túrin did not love her, and as for Finduilas, well, surely she cared for Gwindor? If they argued. Let’s see. And Túrin pursued her at last and fell in a swoon on her grave, we know that. And he loved Gwindor; how not, when Gwindor was with him at Ivrin? But Gwindor—I suppose—Gwindor must have hated him. No. He must have hoped Túrin loved Finduilas, and that was why he couldn’t be persuaded of the truth. For he would have wanted her to be happy, in the end.”

“Oh, no!”

His mood tipped down at once. “Oh no,” he agreed, and took his sandals off and stepped into the stream.

Again, I just think this interaction is fun. I mean I like the placement of his realization about Gwindor, but I LOVE the cook being like “oh no!! that’s so sad!” I hope other people enjoy “stories about the process of idiotic sadstuck brainstorming” as much as I do.

His mother had said once that both he and his father were happier than other men, but that they had no ballast, to keep steady the craft. If he took on an ounce of grief he’d sink, and yet he felt the flood almost as freedom. It made him more the master than had his dry, feckless race, his high-riding. As long as he struggled he had yet to succumb; that was the rule for a wasted night. He ought to go beg a bowl of sour milk from Linnor, or go and sing a service for the king. He could see as far as a night of stars.

I wanted to communicate a particular kind of mood downturn here where you can still clearly remember being happy, and the rising tide of discontent isn’t overwhelming on its own, it’s just depressing because you know where it leads—but for the same reason it’s also a relief, in that you know where it leads. Whereas joy is weird and easy to get lost in and you never know when the plug will be pulled. But I’m not sure the boat metaphor really works.

But it was day, it was red evening. It was his companion’s grief, filling his mind from above. She crouched and watched the far bank huge-eyed, not a tear in evidence, eyes opened but sealed, as it seemed, against sadness that strove for entry, not escape; she sat with wide mouth cracked, nostrils flared, sucking in great absent sniffs of sea-wind. She was besieged as an afterthought, safe and calm except besieged.

I also wanted to include some telepathy! As always! Dirhaval I imagine to be something of a natural, who probably has had some experience with elf mind-speech at this point—enough to recognize it but not really to manage it. I like this description of the cook in pain, I think it works well with her established personality and also evokes Nargothrond itself, which is of course the thing she’s actually grieving for. I mean, and she identifies it with Gwindor, reasonably enough, and takes unhappy pride in him as a lord of Nargothrond, and in this moment is kind of shot through herself not just with the fact of his defeat but the like, honorable necessity of his defeat, knowing that on some level he accepted it.   

(Gwindor surely wished Finduilas joy. Finduilas, dying, remembered Túrin, and told him where his quest should end. The feathered tops of the reeds glowed on dark stems, like a fire in a field of reeds—there before nightfall he planted for ever the standards of the Noldor and their unsheathed swords, kindling in the dawn.)

I’m so proud of this stupid line lol, it’s just the reverse of Tolkien’s—“The light of the drawing of the swords of the Noldor was like a fire in a field of reeds”—but I LOVE THAT LINE, it’s so perfect for Dirhaval as an author and Sirion as a place of memory/last battlefront/first battlefront for this long war. And its conclusion, still to come.

He washed his hands and greasy beard in the river. “Your fish will be cold,” he advised. He had abandoned hope of dinner until she brought it, but that was no reason to encourage bad habits in her.

Dumb friends. Dumb friends are great because they are attuned to the hazards of stupidity, and can help each other.

Then he had to pick some scales out of his teeth, and couldn’t elaborate, but he heard her uncover the basket, anyway.

He had met her before with a handful of salt, pressing a few grains to her mouth to check their purity. “Dírhaval,” she said wisely, mouth full. “Dírhaval, I have forgotten how to cook.” Meaning she had no spices, witched ovens, and trained assistants—maybe, with her, it really was as though she had forgotten; at least it was something else she had lost.

Yeah… the focus on memory in this is another unexpected link to the LOGH fic uh, an inevitable byproduct of writing about a historian, and it’s also supposed to reflect that loss of separation between elves and men, since so much of what distinguishes elves is… their wealth of resources, psychological and material. And the material resources are essential to and interwoven with the psychological resilience, as noted here, so I really wanted to capture that sense that *not having* all the wonderful things she used to have baffles her as much as a hole in her memory. Because the default is that you keep everything forever, right? Another feeling which is not unique to elves. God I love………………………… “people.”  

[c-bulletaftermidnight]

Ok I said I wouldn’t ask but your TFA answer was so awesome I’m curious - things you liked/disliked about TLJ?

Oh boy, oh boy

Liked:

_ Uuuh. Kylo becoming Supreme Leader and cementing himself as the true villain I guess since it’s interesting to work on it’s gonna the political & military landscape of the FO??

_ Kylo being shown off again as a good tactician when fucking up the Raddus.

_I’m glad Phasma’s gone. 

-Finn & Rey hugging at the end of the movie that’s it.

That’s it. 

Dislikes:

_ The worldbuilding has been fucked up just to respond to Rian’s whims when he have barely any explications about the context.

_ Fucking bad designs everywhere. 

_Boring cinematography except a few times. 

_ The fucking zooms-in and Kylo looking like he’s stuck in a washing machines when he barrels rolls around the TIE Silencer. 

_ The FO is suddendly overpowered with money and personnal. The loss of SKB has like no impact on the organization. This episode should have explored to their backstory but Rian simply didn’t care.

_ Everybody in this movie shut off their brains. 

_ Hux went from “officer didn’t had not much battle experience” to a total joke. His traumas due to his upbringing are ignored and his sufferings are reduced into supposed moments of comedy .And it’s not like Rian didn’t knows his past, he even gave him a first name. Hell he didn’ even bother explain Hux’s past to Domhnall and he discovered that his character had a first name when an interviewer asked him about it (Domnhall seemed pretty angry about it since he invest himself a lot in reserches and stuff for the characters he plays.) Knowing how Domhnall had to improvise the blaster scene, i’m sure he would have objected even more of Rian’s decisions.  His purpose half of the movie is to do Huxposition on the bridge, being totally incompetent and thrown around. It’s gonna be hard for JJ to repair this and have the audience take him seriously as a villain. 

 _ Poe, well, I never cared much about his character. I even tried to read the comics but I felt barely nothing about him. But I was hoping TLJ would help but instead they managed to makes me hate his character. The Poe/Holdo arc was badly written. There was many ways to make an arc like that make sense but also more emotionnal for these two characters. I hate how one second they makes him this macho man who keeps understimating lady officers but a second after, the female characters are “haha, I like him ;)”   Yeah sure. 

_Finn’s arc who is reduced as total coward and a joke and where war has to be explained to him (a fucking child-soldier) by a woman that constantly think about hurting him when he mentions Rey, the person he is close to the most and then is forced as a potential love-interest to him for some reasons. The DJ explanations are just bad (of course, the Resistance has to buy weapons. We knows that Rian, thx) The suicide run was also pretty stupid. Also the fact that him and Rey didn’t reuniting on the Supremacy screams so much Rian wanting them to interact as less as possible in the movie. Finn deserves better.

_ Rey’s arc. Can we even talk about an arc? Her character regressed. As if she didn’t dealt with years of abuse and survival on Jakku and as if Kylo never tortured her and hurt her closed ones. Hell she even get tortured twice in the space of two days because of Kylo. The Force-skype stuff feels so forced. Adam & Daisy only have good chemistry when their characters are set against each other. Rey talks about how she is scared of the Force within her but we see her then has no problem to deal with it and master everything in one second (rendering the existence of jedi school pretty useless like you just have to download the Force-powers of a master jedi and that’s it. The Force.exe is installed. ) The small training scene where she cut the rock looks pretty stupid, her sword fighting position is pretty bad during it. Going to the dark side has no consequences on her. She has no agency. Replace the word “Force” by the plot and you’ll see what I mean. 

_ Luke. Has someone who has to deal with depression, I think showing Luke as irritated and stuff can makes sense. I kinda relate since my temper changed a lot. I had a lot of patience & kindness but now, everything irritate me (from a member of my family intruding in my space to hearing the ringing of the phone) I’m scared to see my friends, I feel like a walking failure that I will never be satisfied about myself or will satisfy my parents, I just want to be left alone & if this lead me to die that way, then so be it. The problem is how wonky the writing leading-up to this Luke is bad. Everything is about to make us feels sad for Kylo (I don’t). Kylo’s turning against his family upon learning that he is the grandson of one of the most dangerous war criminal would makes senses. Luke blaming himself because he felt he failed to help his nephew after years of work instead of randomly popping his lightsaber would have made more sense. Luke’s grieving all his others students would make more sense. Luke attempting to reason Kylo after the massacre but still failing would make sense. Luke looking for a solution on the island and then failing to find one, thus made him feel unable to see his sister face to face would makes more sense. There’s is barely any emotionnal moments for Luke and the Final holographic showdown feels like they absolutely wanted to avoid Kylo to kill Luke directly (like c’mon, he’s been committing war crimes since the first minutes of TFA)

_ Kylo. TLJ is a bad attempt at Kylo’s pity fest.It’s interesting that his traumas are acknowledged while the other character’s are pretty ignored despite having a tragic’s past that should impact them as well. Everything is about him. Most of his actions are pretty villainous, he’s no grey character like people are trying to force us to believe because he looks sad. This is an humanized villain arc (which he didn’t need after seeing TFA), not a redemption one. At least he is now the main villain too, so there’s tha (But the “Uwu save ben solo” stuff going around spoil my liking of him as a villain. I’m not here to see whether Kylo is gonna turn LS for a third time in ep9. It would be too repetitive at this point) I just hate the “ You are truely Han solo’s son”line because it is obvious he is more like his mother. Only father figures are important to the characters in SW, it seems. Also the goddamn scar being moved on his eyes but it doesn’t impair his vision despite being cut by a freaking lightsaber. Like Rian could have gave us a legit explanation why Kylo was weakened & needed Rey to fight the preoatarians guards: Losing an eye would be an huge handicap tha het is not used to yet so he needed help to take the throne. 

_ Leïa is only here to looks sad and for Kylo’s momentarily manpain (and Marry Poppying around space). Like really, you reduce Leïa fucking Organa too that?? The woman ready to move time and space just for the sake of saving freedom? the princess of Alderaan who saw her planet being destroyed but kept up on? the woman who was mainly in charge of the strategizing of Hoth’s evacuation? The woman who was willing to stay on Bespin just for the sake of massacring stormtroopers because Vader gave Han away to Boba Fett & would have stayed if Lando didn’t pulled her off to the Falcon? The woman who had to face the galactic backlash of her being Vader’s daughter but still kept on? A woman full of anger but also sense of duty?

_ Rose, rose, rose… I was excited to meet her so imagine my disappointment upon discovering she was just here to lecture & push around Finn & being forced as another love interest that doesn’t even work. It’s like she forgot that her sister died the same day and that she should still be grieving. We don’t even get to see her use her mechanic’s skills in the whole story. The message about her character makes no sense between her last line in tlj and all the destructions she is willing to provoke (not all the ppl working at Canto bight are rich, has it show in the Canto Bight book) or let happens. KMT doesn’t deserve that. 

_ Yoda’s appearing bcos I hate this hypocrite of a gremlin and was expecting for Luke to dunk him in the sea. 

_ Chewie, the glorified cab driver.

_ The battles are a huge clusterfuck & the most badly written space battle I have ever seen. 

_The way Poe’s piloting skills feels to OP when you compare to other pilots, in particular in recently RO. 

_D’qar’s battle is a fucking tactical mess. Everyone has been conviniently dumb down. Same during the slow-mo chase. What’s even the point of bringing the whole fleet of star destroyers if they are just useless.

_ Bad infiltration scene on the Supremacy on the same level as RO’s one. I’m just tired of infiltration scenes in SW. Please stop that shit. 

_ The preotarian guard fight is a choregraphic mess that has no stakes for the characters. Everyone is just waiting for their cue and twirling around. It’s like it was shooted in one go. And there is a difference between Luke in ROTJ kicking a blaster out of the hand of a foe looking bad due to technical problems of the time. And a knife suddendly being edited out at the last minute because the mc would have die then

_ Crait. A good example on how not taking in account the worldbuilding that could be used in battle. So you’re gonna tell me that the Resistance decided to hide away in a base with no issue other than big metallic door in the front? Sounds like a good plan.

_ Leïa never taking command of the battle and strategizing and letting Poe deal with all that despite that she is the general that Poe is a demoted member of the Navy who caused a shit-ton of mess among the Resistance like 30 minutes ago

_ Hux is still depicted in a idiotic way & using bad tactics again. If this is supposed to be a movie about the characters learning about their mistakes,well it didn’t do its job.

_ What is even the use of the third cannon of the gorrilla walkers??

_ What was even the point to use these old speeders besides for being destroyed?

_ Rey shooting down 3 TIES in one shot seems to break a lot of SW physics. Her disappearing of the whole fight shows how much Rian didn’t care abt her character beyond having her interact with Kylo.

_ Y’know, I have Battlefront 2 and in the game there is mining tunnels on the battlefield that you can use to hide. In the movie they are not present, the whole Resistance sit dumbly in trench and just wait to be massacred. I was hoping those tunnels would re-appear in the movies & would be used to sink the walkers by bringing them down with bomb used for mining but nope. The image of walkers falling in a sinkhole, provoking a storm of red dust, coloring the outfits,armors and vehicles in red would have been pretty badass to see.

_ The ramming canon trained on like 10 kilometers instead of using the gorrilla walkers designs and adding to them the mini death-stars canons. They can’t use it all the time tho bcos it would need to cool down before shooting again. Aren’t these supposed to be artillery vehicles ffs???

_ The Resistance not even rigging their escape ships with bombs so if the FO penetrated their base, they can at least cripple them by exploding them. So much for a group that is supposed to be specialized in guerrilla warfare.

_ Talking about guerrilla warfare, i was expecting at least a pursuit and firefight in the mines. No use of the worldbuilding during battle scenarios once again. 

_ Leïa should have been the one to confront Kylo, not Luke. Showing her willing to fight her own son and dies during it for the freedom of the galaxy would have been a good way to send her off and building her as this strong, resilient, legendary leader willing to fight her own family for the good cause. It would have been a good middle finger to people who slandered her upon learning she was Vader’s daughter.

_ Rey effortlessly levitating these rocks. Showing her struggle would have made the ending scene more rewarding.

_ The news of the Battle of Crait spreading super fast despite that the Resistance official journalist, Suralinda Javos wasn’t even present during it for documenting or something.

_ Broom boy & the way it is implied that he might join the Resistance or something because of his Force-powers. A fucking child.Involved in a war. I thought Finn being a child-soldier was bad thing?

And I’ll stop there for now, because there is so many problems with this movie, i’m never gonna be finished with it. 

[sparklyeevee]

PGD was in the research criteria section of the DSM 5 already, so I don't think this has as much to do with the pandemic as the timing might suggest.

Making something an Official Diagnosis is always a double edged sword, because it's currently necessary to do so if someone is going to access most of the things that could help with it, but it also tends to imply that getting "treated" is good and correct, and just like, letting yourself experience it is pathological and perhaps even morally wrong. Like, I'm not looking forward to discussing normal experiences of grief here on Tumblr dot com and having people comment "That's a symptom of PGD sweaty" and then, y'know, the accusations of being anti recovery and "romanticizing" mental illness, as though "mental illness" were such a clearly delineated category that you could always tell whether an experience deserved to be explored and experienced or not, as though that were a distinction that made any fucking sense.

I'm also aware that socially acceptable mourning periods have, at least in the US, been getting shorter for like a hundred years, and that being able to say "this is a diagnosed Thing", being able to leverage "mental illness is not a personal failing", having the protection, such as it is, of the ADA and, for students, IDEA, could make a difference for a lot of people. The inclusion of PGD in Section 2 may be a capitulation to the reality that no organization, and distressingly few people, will make any space for more than about 6 weeks of "I'm not over it yet" unless you've got an Official Diagnosis to go with it. I've got a client whose in school for social work right now. His sister, who was his last living family member, died of Covid the week before the semester started. He asked to be allowed to do an alternate assignment to a group project, because he already struggles with those and he's having a normal amount of difficulty being in school and working full time while also dealing with the whole "very recent loss of a sibling" thing. The instructor responded "I know this is hard, but the assignment is a group project." We're looking into the school's bereavement policy now to see if there are other options.

Also, the DSM 5 already took the "don't diagnose this if they've experienced bereavement in the last year" thing off of major depressive disorder, so PGD could actually help people avoid an inappropriate diagnosis of like "Oh, this is just your brain chemistry acting up, absolutely nothing to do with the recent and distressing loss of a loved one", which is, y'know, considerably more invalidating. My partner has lost an absolutely unreasonable number of people. He was officially diagnosed with depression following a completely normal existential crisis at age 13 about whether there was any point in going to school, given that he wasn't really like, enthusiastic about going to college or getting a job. He uses the language of "Oh, I have depression" to get people off his back about being really sad a lot of the time, which is not, y'know, an unreasonable thing for a person to experience when they've got more dead people than I have fingers, and tend to accumulate new ones at a rate of about one every 18 months. Before I actually read the DSM 5, I actually said a couple times "You don't have depression, you have like, 'everyone you love dying disorder'." The I was reading through the research diagnoses and I was like "Honey, c'mere, I found your diagnosis!" "Huh?" "I found the diagnostic criteria for Everyone You Love Dying Disorder!" If someone is actually having a bad time with their mental health mostly because of frequent or complicated grief, having an actual diagnosis for that can maybe avoid some problems.

the decision to add a disorder to the dsm called "prolonged grief disorder" in which grieving for too long/with too much intensity/more than "expected" is deemed pathological... three years into a devastatingly fatal pandemic... i want to hurt people