#It's finals and I am tired and angry

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

[whathasangramainyudonewrong]

Wrong #575

I know you don’t actually need sleep, but you keep almost nodding off up there and if you do that, you’ll hit your head when you wake up

Yes, I know you find the ambient noise from within the vents soothing, but that doesn’t mean you should sleep there

[lefthandoverfoot]

idk vent post

cw homeschooling trauma and general emotional abuse

[youareyoubutwhoareyou]

Just discovered thru my own research that due to the lack of knowledge/concern multiple drs had when I went to them for help, I am gonna be in even more pain for the rest of my life w possibly worse consequences! Fuck

[just-rogi]

.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I think I've been touchy lately about my feelings of access to/participation in generativity. I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately by how much needs doing and how much disparate but necessary information I'm keeping in my head. I should probably get back into my thought maps for the work on the yard and house, because I think that will make it easier for me to empty my head when I'm not actively trying to work on something.

[enigma-absolute]

…

[t4tstarvingdog]

i’m trying not to kill people

[gradelstuff]

Gonna be honest but I never really liked Nana after I read that stupid letter she gave to Kotaro before leaving him forever

[valdrift]

i miss having my turbo autism stare, ever since i learned how to make expressions and not look pissed, ppl keep coming up to me and on one hand thts cool u think im approachable enough for tht but on the other hand im 9/10 NOT prepared for conversation and end up looking like

[kellystar321]

.

[owlispls]

Honestly coming to terms with the fact that I don‘t need to react to a message from [person]. If I change my mind about this in a year from now that is totally fine.

But seeing the way they started the message and then went on a self-victimizing ramble… I don‘t think they‘ve changed over the past few years of no contact.

[fabcreature]

you know, over the summer i had a big crying session roughly every two weeks, bc i was rly stressed out about starting school and feeling like i'm not good enough and i'm gonna fail spectacularly. and i was like "damn, i've been crying a lot lately". but while the fear and self hatred were very much real, a small, more rational part of me did think "it's gonna get better once i start school, i'll realize i've been freaking out over nothing, it's gonna be fine really".

now i've been going to school a little over a month and um. now i cry like. every day? i either cry in the car after school or at night in bed, or both. once i did already on my way to school. every day i feel either tired, sad, or angry, or two of the above, or all or the above. never none of the above though. the hating of myself and feeling like i'm going to fail has not gone away. if anything i'd say it's a little stronger now? i'm just constantly stressed about everything all the time. there's too much going on all at once. while our school has lots of great aspects and great things, i really do feel like i hate my school, the bits that are bad are just so fucking. so fucking bad. so i'm just annoyed and stressed and sad. genuinely good days are a very rare occurence now.

i was just about to cry myself to sleep but had to stop and get up cus i started seriously hyperventilating.

funny how life turns out huh

[ohmeowmy]

.

[hexastitchimera]

Genuine observation, no sass and no disrespect, but being someone who is chronically OFFline & an active volunteer/activist for over a decade, and seeing what people say is "crucial discourse" online is... Quite the trip, honestly.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Gonna complain in the tags