#It's been with me for so long like 2018...
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pbaz7 · 2 days ago
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ONE SHOT: UNSPOKEN
paige x azzi
word count: 10.8k
A/N: Alright this one is a little different from what I usually do. I was struggling with ideas so I decided to try to mix it up đŸ«Ł. I also know everyone thinks Paige fell first so I wanted to switch it up a little bit in this. Let me know what you guys think please đŸ«¶đŸŒ
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“Unspoken” is a story about the quiet tension between two people who’ve spent years running from the truth—because sometimes, love isn’t about grand declarations or perfect timing. Sometimes, it’s about the fights, the moments when words fail, and the painful silence that surrounds all the things we’re too afraid to say.
Paige and Azzi had been best friends for as long as they can remember, but somewhere along the way, things started to change. The friendship they shared slowly morphed into something more complicated, something neither of them was ready to admit. The arguments, the jealousy, the misunderstandings, all became the backdrop for the truth they weren’t brave enough to confront.
This is the story of the moments that broke them down and built them up again—of the words that should have been said and those that should’ve never been spoken, the love that was hidden beneath the surface, and the way they both had to learn to fight for each other. Through every argument, every misstep, and every tear, they would come to realize one simple thing: they were in love with each other, and no amount of fear or uncertainty could change that.
These are the fights, the messy situations, that led them to the one thing they never expected to find—each other:
3rd Person POV - 2018 (DMV)
Azzi was sitting cross-legged on her bed, leaning back against the headboard while Paige lay sprawled on the floor, tossing a basketball in the air and catching it with lazy precision. Soft music was playing from Azzi’s speaker, filling the comfortable silence between them.
“You know,” Azzi said as she absentmindedly scrolled through her phone, “I still don’t get how you eat so much junk and don’t feel like absolute trash afterward.” She was referencing how Paige didn’t seem to follow any diet, didn’t eat any vegetables, and just consumed whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.
Paige snorted, keeping her eyes on the ball as she flicked it up again. “I’m built different.”
Azzi rolled her eyes. “That’s not a real answer.”
“It is if you accept it.”
Azzi grabbed a pillow and chucked it at her, but it landed nowhere near Paige causing the blonde to laugh while still focused on the ball. “You’re annoying,” Azzi muttered.
“Whatever bro. Why you beg me to come visit you then?”
Azzi sighed dramatically. “Clearly I gotta start setting higher standards for my friends.”
“Best friend,” Paige corrected.
Azzi grinned but didn’t argue. They’d been calling each other best friends since they met on Team USA, but sometimes—more recently than before–there was something underneath it that neither of them acknowledged. A weight in the way they talked to one another on FaceTime every night, the way they never went a day without talking, a different kind of warmth in the way they looked at each other.
In the midst of their conversation Paige’s phone buzzed. Then again. And again. She didn’t even glance at it, but Azzi heard it. “Damn,” she said, raising her eyebrows. “Who's blowing you up?”
Paige kept her focus on the ball. “Dunno.”
Azzi smirked. “What, you too famous to check your phone now?”
Paige caught the ball and held it against her stomach, hesitating just long enough for Azzi to pick up on it.
Azzi sat up a little. “Wait. Who is it?”
Paige took a long exhale, staring at the ceiling for a second before mumbling, “It’s probably this girl.”
Azzi blinked. “This girl?”
Paige pushed herself up onto her elbows. “Yeah, prolly. She got my number from somebody and she just been texting me lately.”
Azzi’s lips twitched, her smirk faltering for just a second before she masked it with a laugh. “Ohhh, so Paige Bueckers has a girl on her line.” She nudged Paige’s leg with her foot. “Who is she?”
Paige shrugged. “Just someone I met at a tournament.”
Azzi raised an eyebrow. “And?”
“And what?”
Azzi rolled her eyes. “Do you like her or something?”
Paige shrugged, then sighed. “I don’t know. No?”
Azzi’s expression shifted slightly. The teasing edge in her voice was still there, but it didn’t quite match what was reflected in her eyes. “Wait, you actually want to talk to her?”
Paige frowned a little confused now. “I mean
 I don’t not want to.”
Azzi scoffed quietly, shaking her head. “Wow. Okay.”
Paige blinked. “What?”
“Nothing,” Azzi said quickly, a little too quickly. She flopped back against her pillows, suddenly very interested in the ceiling.
Paige wasn’t buying it. “No, what was that?”
“Paige, nothing,” Azzi repeated.
Paige narrowed her eyes. “Azzi come on bro.”
Azzi sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. “I just—why are you even telling me this?”
Paige frowned. “Because you’re my best friend? I tell you everything.”
Azzi let out a dry laugh. “Right. Best friend. Got it.”
Something about the way she said it made Paige’s stomach twist. She wasn’t sure why, but suddenly, the room felt
 different. Tense. Like they had stepped too close to a line neither of them had ever acknowledged before.
“Why are you acting weird?” Paige asked, her voice a little quieter now.
Azzi shook her head. “I’m not.”
“You are.”
Azzi let out a breath. “Maybe because I just don’t want to hear about some girl trying to get with you.”
Silence. It felt like the silence between them stretched for an eternity.
The air between them was thick with a weight that neither of them had ever experienced when talking to one another. Azzi looked like she had just said something she wasn’t supposed to, and Paige—Paige couldn’t breathe.
“Why do you care?” Paige finally spoke, her voice much quieter than it usually is.
Azzi sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t. It’s just—you always say you don’t like distractions, but now some random girl is blowing up your phone, and you don’t mind?”
Paige frowned. “That’s not what I said Az.”
“It kinda is.”
Paige sat up now, her eyes slightly narrowed because of Azzi’s coldness. “Bro why you acting like I did something wrong? I was just tryna talk to you about it.”
Azzi let out a dry laugh. “Right. Like I want to hear about how some girl who's in the same state as you is into you and has been blowing your phone up.”
Paige’s stomach twisted. She didn’t know why, but the way Azzi was speaking made her chest feel tight. “So, what? I’m just not supposed to talk to you about stuff like this?”
Azzi’s jaw tensed. “No, maybe not.”
Paige blinked. “Azzi that’s ridiculous. We tell each other everything.”
Azzi exhaled through her nose, avoiding her gaze. “Yeah, well, maybe not everything.”
That hit Paige harder than she expected. She stared at Azzi, frustration bubbling under her skin. Azzi was her best friend. The one person in the world she felt like she could share anything with—who understood the pressure she felt everyday, was sitting here telling her that maybe they should stop telling each other everything. “Why are you being so weird about this? I didn’t do anything.”
Azzi’s head moved toward her direction. “I’m not being weird, Paige. I just—” She cut herself off, exhaling before pushing her hair out of her face in frustration. “You don’t get it.”
Paige threw her hands up. “No, I clearly don’t, so explain it to me! Because I feel like I’m missing something here.”
Azzi hesitated, her fingers picking at the blanket. Her expression was unreadable—like she was fighting with herself, torn between saying something and holding it back.
Paige pushed. “Azzi please.”
Azzi’s eyes met hers, and for the first time that night, she looked vulnerable. Exposed.
“You don’t get it,” Azzi said, softer this time, “because you don’t see the way anyone looks at you.” Azzi wasn’t just talking about other people. Paige had always had this pull, this undeniable presence that filled every room she stepped into. The way she carried herself, how naturally charismatic and genuine she was, made it impossible not to look. And people did look.
Azzi was no different. But Paige never seemed to notice.
Paige’s brows furrowed. “What?”
Azzi sighs, shaking her head. “Everyone wants a piece of you, Paige. In whatever way they can get you. Girls, guys, everyone.
Paige swallowed, her confusion giving way to an excitement at the possibility of what Azzi was insinuating. “Azzi
”
Azzi eyes flickering with something Paige couldn’t place. “I don’t want to hear about some girl trying to talk to you because I hate the idea of you talking to someone else.”
Paige’s heart pounded. She felt like the ground had just been ripped out from under her, like something she had been ignoring for months had just been shoved in her face.
She barely had time to process it, to respond properly before Azzi let out a shaky breath and muttered, “Forget it. Just—just ignore me.”
But Paige didn’t want to forget it, she couldn’t. Because suddenly, everything made sense—suddenly she didn’t feel like she was making things up in her head.
The lingering looks. The teasing that always felt a little too real.
Without thinking about the possible repercussions, Paige moved. One second, she was sitting on the floor staring at Azzi, heart racing, and the next, she was in front of her leaning in, closing the space between them.
Azzi inhaled sharply, her lips parting just slightly. For a split second, Azzi looked like she was going to pull away.
But then Paige kissed her.
It was hesitant, completely unsure, but the second their lips touched, something clicked. Like a spark igniting, like the answer to a question neither of them had been willing to ask.
Azzi sucked in a breath, and just for a second she kissed Paige back. But just as quickly as it happened, Azzi pulled away, eyes wide.
When she saw Azzi’s reaction Paige’s heart pounded, immediately throwing out, “I—I don’t know why I did that.”
Azzi swallowed, looking just as lost. “Yeah. Me neither.”
They stared at each other.
Finally, Paige let out a weak laugh. “Let’s just forget it.”
Azzi hesitated before nodding. “Yeah
Forget it.”
3rd Person POV - May 2020 (DMV)
It was the middle of quarantine, and time felt like it barely existed. Days blurred into nights, and the weeks passed without much distinction. Paige had been staying with Azzi and her family for a while now.
They had fallen into an easy rhythm. Workouts in the driveway, endless hours of TV, late-night talks in Azzi’s bed. There were also the moments in between now—those fleeting, stolen seconds where a look lingered too long, where an innocent touch didn’t quite feel so innocent. It had started slowly, almost accidental. A brush of hands, an arm around a shoulder that didn’t move away. Then one night, Paige kissed her again. And Azzi kissed her back.
Since then, it has been happening more often. Just making out here and there, like something they could pick up and drop whenever they wanted. But they never talked about it.
Now, they were lying in Azzi’s bed, bodies tangled in the way that came with knowing each other too well. Azzi’s head rested on Paige’s stomach, her fingers idly tracing the blanket while Paige was trying to spin the ball on her finger, though she was being extra careful considering Azzi was laying on her.
“You suck at that, by the way,” Azzi mumbled, watching the ball wobble slightly in Paige’s grip.
Paige scoffed. “You literally couldn’t do this for more than two seconds without launching it across the room.”
Azzi laughed. “That’s because I actually put some power into it. You’re just throwing it up like you’re scared it’s gonna fight back.”
Paige rolled her eyes. “You’re annoying sometimes, you know that?”
Azzi hummed, tilting her head slightly so she was looking up at Paige. “Yeah, but you love me anyway so I don’t really care.”
Paige froze for half a second before shaking her head, trying to play it off. “Debatable.”
Azzi laughed softly, but Paige didn’t miss the way her fingers stopped moving against the blanket when Paige froze. The pause lasted a little too long, and Paige suddenly felt like she should say something else—something light, something easy—but before she could, her phone buzzed in quick succession from somewhere on the floor.
Azzi turned her head toward the sound. “Damn. Someone’s popular.”
Paige didn’t even glance at it, still looking at Azzi. “It’s nothing.”
Azzi raised an eyebrow. “You don’t even know who it is.”
Paige shrugged. “If it was important, they’d call.”
Azzi watched her for a second, then turned her attention back to the ceiling. “Right. Or maybe it’s one of the many people who have been blowing up your comments lately.”
All of a sudden this conversation felt like deja vu and it made Paige’s stomach churn.
Paige sighed, rubbing her temple. “Azzi—”
Azzi kept going, her tone meant to be teasing, but there was something more serious beneath it that Paige picked up on. “I mean, I get it. UConn’s gonna be a whole new world for you. New team, new people, new girls—”
Paige groaned. “Bro oh my God.”
Azzi tilted her head again, keeping her voice light but her eyes too focused. “What? You’re telling me you’re not looking forward to all the attention you’re about to get?”
Paige sighed, gripping the basketball a little tighter. “I don’t care about allat.”
Azzi scoffed, shaking her head. “Bullshit.”
Paige frowned. “I don’t.”
Azzi changed her position slightly, resting her weight on her elbow as she looked at Paige. “So you’re telling me you don’t like all the attention? The DMs, the comments, the girls who’ve never met you throwing themselves at you?”
Paige let out a short laugh, not out of amusement but frustration. “Azzi, come on—”
“No, seriously.” Azzi’s voice was steady, but there was something underneath it—something Paige couldn’t quite place. “You’re not gonna sit here and act like you don’t eat that shit up.”
Paige gave her a confused look. “You act like I’m out here entertaining them. I’ve never responded to any of them.”
Azzi raised an eyebrow. “You’re not shutting them down either, so you clearly want it.”
Paige let out a long breath, shaking her head. “Come on Azzi, you’re my best friend, you know me better than that.”
Azzi scoffed, sitting up fully now, her back against the headboard. “Right.”
Paige’s jaw tightened. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Azzi looked at her. “It means I don’t know what the hell we’re doing anymore.”
Paige sat up fully too, the ball rolling off the bed as she turned to face Azzi. “What you mean?”
“You really don’t get it, do you?”
Paige’s chest tightened, frustration building. “Get what? That you’re mad at me for something I didn’t even do? Something you think I might do?”
Azzi shook her head, running a hand through her hair. “I’m not mad at you, Paige. I just—” She exhaled. “Forget it.”
“No.” Paige’s voice was more firm now, her heartbeat picking up. “You don’t get to start something and then back out.”
Azzi’s eyes flickered with anger. “Oh, I’m the one starting something and backing out?” She let out a bitter laugh. “That’s ironic.”
Paige groaned, throwing her head back. “Azzi, just talk to me instead of throwing around all this cryptic shit.”
Azzi held her gaze for a moment, her lips pressing into a thin line. Then, before she could stop herself, she said it. “We keep kissing, Paige. We kiss a lot actually.”
Silence. Paige felt her stomach drop, her mouth suddenly dry.
Azzi shook her head, looking away—she couldn’t look at Paige while she said this. “And we never talk about it. We act like it doesn’t mean anything, and maybe to you, it doesn’t, but I—” She stopped herself, exhaling through her nose. “I just don’t get how you can sit here and act like none of it matters.”
Paige swallowed hard. “Azzi that’s not—”
Azzi turned back to her, her voice quieter now. “You’re leaving soon. And once you go, this—whatever this is, whatever we’re doing—it’s over, right?”
Paige’s throat felt tight, but she forced the words out anyway. “It doesn’t have to be.”
Azzi let out a long breath, shaking her head. “What does that mean, Paige?”
Paige’s jaw clenched. “It means we don’t have to stop just because I’m going to UConn.”
Azzi scoffed. “Right. So what? You want to keep doing what exactly? Keep flirting with me, kissing me but then pretending it doesn’t mean anything?”
Paige’s frustration spiked. “I never said it didn’t mean anything.”
“You sure as hell act like it.”
Paige ran a hand over her face, exhaling. “Az, I really don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to say something for once instead of just kissing me and pretending it never happened.” Azzi’s voice was rising now, her usual calmness slipping. “Because I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep pretending like it’s normal to make out with my best friend one second and then act like nothing happened the next.”
Paige shook her head. “You think this is easy for me?”
Azzi let out a bitter laugh. “Oh, yeah. It must be so hard for you, Paige. Having somebody, with no labels, to makeout with whenever you want is so fucking hard. Meanwhile, I’m the one sitting here wondering if I’m just another one of your little distractions before you leave.”
Paige’s chest tightened. “That’s not fair. It’s not like that.”
Azzi stared at her. “Isn’t it?”
Paige didn’t answer right away. The air between them was tense, heavy with something unsaid, something neither of them had been brave enough to confront.
Finally, Paige exhaled, her voice quieter now. “Azzi, you’re not just—” She swallowed. “You’re not just some distraction.”
Azzi searched her face, eyes flickering between Paige’s. “Then what am I?”
Paige opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Because she didn’t have an answer—at least, not one that wouldn’t change everything.
Azzi sighed, shaking her head. “That’s what I thought.”
Paige let out a sharp breath, running a hand through her hair. “Azzi please, come on.”
Azzi’s jaw tightened. “No. I’m done guessing, Paige.”
Paige’s frustration boiled over. “I don’t know how to say it, okay?”
“Say what, Paige?”
Paige clenched her jaw, her voice rising. “That I don’t want to leave! That I don’t want things to change! That I—” She cut herself off, exhaling hard.
Azzi’s gaze stayed locked on her, daring her to finish. “That you what?”
Paige shook her head, her pulse hammering. “I don’t know.”
Azzi threw her hands up. “See? This is exactly what I’m talking about. You do know, Paige, you just don’t want to say it.”
Paige’s face burned with frustration. “Because once I do, it means something, Azzi. And I don’t—I don’t know how to deal with that. You barely know how to deal with it so you’re putting it on me.”
Azzi scoffed. “So instead, you’d rather just ignore it? Pretend like nothing’s happening between us?”
Paige ran a hand over her face, exasperated. “It’s not like that.”
Azzi crossed her arms. “Then what’s it like?”
Paige opened her mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. She could feel it—all of it—boiling just under the surface, but every time she tried to pull it out, to say what she knew Azzi needed to hear, something inside her locked up.
Azzi shook her head. “You’re being a coward Paige.”
Paige’s head snapped up. “Excuse me?”
Azzi didn’t back down. “You heard me.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No? Then prove me wrong.”
Paige’s frustration snapped like a rubber band stretched too tight. Before she could stop herself, she was closing the distance between them, her hand gripping the back of Azzi’s neck as she pushed their lips together.
Azzi kissed back for a moment—just a moment—before she abruptly pushed Paige away, her breath coming fast. “No. You don’t get to do that.”
Paige looked stunned, her lips still tingling, her chest tight. “Azzi—”
“No,” Azzi snapped. “You don’t get to kiss me just to shut me up Paige. That’s not how this shit works.”
Paige ran a hand through her hair, exhaling hard. “That’s not what I was doing, Azzi.”
“Really? Because that’s what it feels like. Every time we get remotely close to actually talking about this, you do something like that.”
Paige sighed. “I don’t know how to talk about this, baby.”
Azzi’s gaze softened for a split second before she shook her head. “Then figure it out, Paige. Because I can’t keep being the only one who actually wants to face it.”
Paige’s frustration cracked, desperation creeping into her voice. “I do want to face it—I just don’t want to lose you.”
“Then say something, Paige. Say anything that actually means something instead of trying to shove your tongue down my throat.”
Paige swallowed hard, her heart pounding. “I don’t want this to be over. I don’t want to leave and pretend none of this ever happened. I don’t want you to think you’re just some—some phase or some mistake—some distraction.” She inhaled, her voice softer now. “I don’t want to lose you, Azzi.”
Azzi’s expression faltered for just a second before she let out a slow breath. “Paige
”
Paige shook her head, her chest tightening. “I just—I know I’m scared, Az. And shit’s about to be so different. I’m about to be in a different state, away from my family
away from you. There’s all these expectations and I haven’t even gotten on campus yet and I just—I need you Az. I need you more than anything and I’m scared that shit’s going to change between us, get weird and I can’t
I won’t be able to handle this without my best friend so I’ve just been—”
A sudden knock on the door cut her off.
Azzi’s mom’s voice came from the other side. “Everything okay in there?”
Azzi didn’t take her eyes off Paige. “Yes we’re fine.”
A brief pause. Then, “You sure? I heard yelling.”
Azzi sighed. “Mom, please.”
Silence. Then fading footsteps.
Azzi barely waited before she kissed Paige softly, melting into her.
3rd Person POV - October 2020 (Connecticut)
Azzi hadn’t planned on coming to Connecticut. At least, not until a few days ago when the idea of not being with Paige on her birthday started gnawing at her. The two of them talked every day, missed each other like crazy. Yes things were still
 undefined. A mess of feelings that they had only began to sort through.
But none of that mattered right now. Because she was here.
Azzi pushed open the door to Ted’s, the warmth and noise of the packed bar hitting her immediately. She hadn’t even told Paige she was coming—she wanted to surprise her, wanted to see the look on her face when she realized Azzi had shown up for her birthday.
But the moment she stepped inside, her stomach twisted.
Paige was by the bar, a drink in her hand, laughter carrying over the music. She looked good—too good—her head tilted back slightly as she smiled at something one of her teammates said, Evina, if Azzi remembers correctly. But it wasn’t her teammates that caught Azzi’s attention. It was the other girls around her.
They were close. Too close.
One of them leaned into Paige clearly trying to get any form of contact she could from the blonde. Another one saying something to Paige, making her chuckle and shake her head no.
Azzi felt something burn in her chest.
She had spent the last few weeks missing Paige so much it physically hurt—she thought Paige was in the same boat. They called whenever they could, they texted, they danced around what they were, never putting a real label on it but still knowing, deep down, that whatever this was—it was real.
Yet, here was Paige, letting random girls touch her like it was nothing. Like they were nothing. In her anger Azzi didn’t even see the way Paige completely lit up when she noticed Azzi standing by the door. She didn’t notice that Paige immediately started walking towards her without even a whisper of an excuse to anyone around her.
Without thinking, Azzi turned on her heel and pushed back out the door.
“Azzi!”
Her heart clenched at the sound of her name, but she kept walking.
“Azzi, wait!”
Footsteps echoed against the pavement, and before she could get too far, a hand wrapped around her wrist, forcing her to stop.
Azzi exhaled harshly, staring straight ahead. “Go back inside, Paige.”
Paige stepped in front of her, her brows furrowed in confusion. “Why did you leave?”
Azzi let out a bitter laugh. “Are you serious?”
Paige’s expression flickered. “Azzi, it’s not what you think.”
Azzi raised her eyebrows. “Oh, really? Because from where I was standing, it looked like you were having a pretty grand time.”
Paige groaned, running a hand through her hair. “They were just talkin to me.”
“Right.” Azzi shook her head, stepping back. “Just talking.”
Paige sighed, frustrated. “Yes Azzi, just talking. Why you acting like this? I'm happy to see you and you mad at me.”
Azzi shook her head as she started walking again.
Paige groaned again, stumbling slightly as she tried to step closer. "Azzi, come on." She reached for her, but Azzi sidestepped her touch.
"Don't."
Paige frowned, her drunk mind struggling to keep up. "Come on baby, why you so mad?"
Azzi scoffed. "Are you serious right now? You’re in there letting random girls be all over you, and I’m just supposed to be fine with it?"
Paige let out an exasperated laugh. "I wasn't letting them be all over me!"
Azzi crossed her arms. "Ohhh right, so they just tripped and landed on you?"
Paige rolled her eyes. "You’re blowing this out of proportion."
Azzi’s expression darkened. "No, I’m not."
Paige tried to reach for her again, but Azzi stepped back, hands pushing her away softly. "Azzi, stop pushing me."
"Then stop trying,".
Paige swayed slightly, blinking at her. "I’m just tryna get close to you. I miss you."
Azzi scoffed. "No, you want to charm your way out of this like you always do."
Paige let out a huff. "God, why are you making this such a big deal?"
Azzi’s eyes flashed before she took a breath to calm herself down. "Because you don’t take any of this seriously, Paige! You never do! You’re drunk and now you’re out here stumbling around to who knows where—"
Paige threw her hands up. "I’ve done a drunk walk around the block enough times to know where I’m going, Azzi."
"That’s not the flex you think it is, P."
Paige narrowed her eyes at her. "Why are you even here if you're just gonna yell at me?"
Azzi turned away again, but this time, Paige grabbed her arm.
"Azzi, please," Paige murmured, her grip tightening slightly.
Azzi clenched her jaw, as she looked at Paige not saying anything.
Paige let out a frustrated breath. “I don’t care about any of those girls, Az! I keep telling you that.”
“Really? Because it sure as hell didn’t look like that from where I was standing.”
Paige groaned, stepping closer again, ignoring the way Azzi kept putting space between them. “I wasn’t flirting with them! I was just talking. You’re acting like I was all over them.”
Azzi shot her a look. “It doesn’t matter if you weren’t all over them. They were all over you, and you just let it happen.”
Paige threw her hands up. “What did you want me to do? Shove them off me?”
Azzi exhaled, shaking her head. “You’re playing dumb.”
Paige shot back, “You’re the one who wanted to keep things open, remember? You said we should just see what happens—”
“And you agreed.”
Paige laughed. “Yeah, because that’s clearly what you wanted Azzi! But you’re standing here acting like I betrayed you or something.”
Azzi’s eyes flashed. “Because it feels like you did Paige!”
Paige’s chest rose and fell, her mind spinning, the alcohol making her words looser, her emotions heavier. “Azzi, I love you.”
Azzi froze for a long time. The silence stretched between them.
Finally she exhaled, shaking her head again. “You don’t mean that,” she said, voice quiet now. “You’re drunk. You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
Paige stepped closer to Azzi, pulling her closer, thankful when she didn’t push her away. “Az, I swear to god, I love you.”
Azzi looked at her, really looked at her, searching her face for something, but whatever she was looking for, she didn’t seem to find it.
She glanced away, running a hand through her hair, her voice carefully even. “Let’s just go back to your party P.”
Paige blinked, her chest tightening. “Azzi—”
Azzi turned back toward the bar without another word, and Paige stood there, her heart still racing, wondering if she just said too much or not enough.
Once they stepped back inside, although Paige was hurt she didn’t let it show, she refused to let Azzi leave her side.
She kept an arm draped around Azzi’s shoulders, pulling her close as they navigated through the crowd. Any time someone so much as looked at her for too long, Paige would shift closer, pressing against Azzi in a way that made it clear who she wanted to be with.
Azzi didn’t pull away, but she didn’t fully lean into it either. She let Paige guide them through the bar, let her wrap an arm around her waist when they stopped at the table with the team, let her fingers linger on Azzi’s wrist when she reached for her drink. She let it all happen, but she didn’t say much throughout the night.
Paige didn’t care. She was determined to prove to her that she meant what she said.
She made sure Azzi was the only one she talked to, the only one she looked at, the only one she danced with when someone dragged them toward the music. When another girl tried to get her attention, Paige didn’t even glance her way—she just tightened her hold on Azzi, whispering something against her ear that made Azzi huff out a breath, something between exasperation and amusement.
Still, Azzi didn’t fully acknowledge any of it. Either she didn’t want to believe it, or she truly didn’t, but she didn’t ruin Paige’s night. She let Paige stay curled up against her in the booth, let her play with the hem of her sleeve absentmindedly, let her rest her chin on her shoulder. And when Paige officially got too drunk—when her words started slurring and her steps became unsteady—Azzi laughed softly, shook her head, and silently helped her out of the bar.
As they walked back to Paige’s dorm, Paige clung to Azzi like she was her lifeline. One arm was slung around Azzi’s shoulders, the other gripping her hand, fingers laced like she was afraid to let go. And she wouldn’t stop talking.
“I love your laugh so much,” Paige mumbled, her words slightly slurred. “Like, really love it. It’s stupid how much I love it.”
Azzi sighed, adjusting her grip on Paige’s waist as they walked forward. “Paige—”
“And your eyes.” Paige ignored her, tightening her hold. “God, your eyes, Az. You ever look in the mirror? Like, really look? They’re so pretty. Sometimes I get distracted when you’re talking ‘cause I just—” She made an exaggerated hand motion as she hiccuped. “I get lost in ‘em.”
Azzi closed her eyes for a moment, exhaling through her nose. “Paige, please stop talking.”
“No.” Paige pouted, shaking her head. “You don’t get it. You—you act like I don’t care, like I don’t see you, but I do. I see everything, Az.”
Azzi’s jaw clenched. She kept walking, gripping Paige a little tighter, but Paige kept going.
“You always smell good,” Paige mused, like it was a secret. “Like, stupidly good. It’s unfair.” She buried her face into Azzi’s shoulder dramatically, inhaling deeply. “Like right now? It’s ridiculous. What even is that? Do you live in vanilla or some shit?”
Azzi huffed out a breath, looking up at the sky like she was begging for patience. “Paige.”
“And you’re so good, Az,” Paige continued, voice softer now. “You take care of me, even when I don’t deserve it. Even when I’m stupid or drunk or messing everything up. I don’t know why you do it, but you do.”
Azzi’s throat tightened. Paige doesn’t know how much Azzi wanted to hear this, how long she had been waiting to hear this. Azzi just wishes that Paige had the guts to say it when she wasn’t drunk. When Azzi could believe that she truly meant what she was saying. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Yes, I do,” Paige argued, stopping in her tracks and pulling Azzi with her. “I know exactly what I’m saying. I just—I never say it.” She frowned, blinking blearily up at Azzi as she swayed a little and swallowed another hiccup. “And that’s my fault. But I do love you, Az. You have to know that.”
Azzi swallowed hard, her fingers twitching against Paige’s waist. She wanted to believe her. Wanted to let herself feel everything Paige was saying. But she couldn’t. Not like this.
She sighed, shaking her head. “Come on,” she mumbled, tugging Paige forward again. “Let’s get you to bed.”
Paige stumbled a little as they kept walking, but her grip on Azzi never wavered as she continued rambling.
“All I want is you,” Paige murmured. “I don’t care about anyone else
anything else Az. Just you.”
Azzi kept her gaze ahead, “Paige—”
“No, listen.” Paige stopped walking again, forcing Azzi to stop with her. “You know how I know?”
Azzi sighed, rubbing a hand down her face. “I’d rather you not tell me right now but I’m sure you’re going to anyway.”
Paige’s lips parted, and her eyes, though glassy, were full of something real. “Because every time I think about somebody else having you, getting to see the sides of you I see, I feel sick. Physically sick. And I know that’s selfish as shit, but I don’t care. I don’t want anyone else to have you, Az. I want you.”
Azzi inhaled sharply, her stomach twisting. “Paige, you’re drunk.”
“So what?” Paige challenged, stepping closer. “Doesn’t mean I don’t mean it.”
Azzi exhaled, looking away. “Please just drop it, okay? Let me get you inside.”
“No.” Paige’s fingers curled into Azzi’s hoodie, tugging her closer. “Do you love me?”
Azzi completely froze. Her grip on Paige faltered just slightly before she realized how much of her weight she was holding and she adjusted her grip again.
Paige searched her face desperately, her voice quieter now, more fragile. “Az. Do you?”
Azzi swallowed, forcing herself to pull away slightly. “Paige, drop it.”
Paige shook her head stubbornly making herself slightly dizzy. “No. I need to know.”
Azzi clenched her jaw, looking anywhere but at Paige as she closed her eyes, forcing the tears not to fall. “Not like this please baby.”
Paige’s breath hitched. “Azzi—”
“Not like this, Paige,” Azzi repeated, her voice strained. “You’re drunk. You won’t even remember half of this tomorrow.”
Paige’s face crumpled like the words physically hurt her. “That’s not fair.”
Azzi exhaled through her nose, her heart hammering. “Come on,” she whispered, reaching for Paige’s hand again and squeezing it when they laced their fingers together. “Let’s go.”
The next morning, sunlight slipped through the blinds, casting a glow over the tangled sheets and the two bodies nestled together beneath them. Paige groaned, blinking against the light, the ache in her head reminding her just how much she had to drink the night before. But that wasn’t what made her chest feel tight. All the memories came rushing in—every drunken confession, every plea for Azzi to just say it back. And she remembered that Azzi never did. But she remembered how Azzi basically carried her home last night. How as soon as she laid down the room started spinning so Azzi helped her to the bathroom and held her hair. She remembers how Azzi basically brushed her teeth for her. How Azzi kissed her goodnight before pulling the cover over both of them.
And now Azzi is still here. Still wrapped around her, holding her like she didn’t want to let go.
Paige swallowed hard, keeping her eyes closed as she breathed in Azzi’s familiar scent, letting herself pretend—for just a little longer—that everything was okay. That last night hadn’t hurt. LIke it didn’t hurt all over again to remember it as soon as she woke up.
Azzi shifted slightly, her fingers instinctively curling against Paige’s side. A quiet hum left her lips before she finally blinked awake, her gaze finding Paige’s.
“Morning,” she whispered, her voice still thick with sleep.
Paige forced a small smile. “Morning.”
They stayed like that for a moment, neither making a move to pull away. If anything, they only inched closer, their noses nearly brushing.
Azzi exhaled softly, eyes flickering down to Paige’s lips. “I missed you so much P.”
Paige’s breath caught, the words sinking deep. She knew Azzi meant more than just the past few hours.
“Yeah?” Paige whispered.
Azzi nodded, her fingers tightening against Paige’s waist. “Yes.”
Paige didn’t answer with words. Instead, she closed the distance, pressing her lips to Azzi’s like she’d been craving it for months. Azzi melted instantly, sighing into the kiss, her arms pulling Paige in until there was no space left between them.
“I missed you too,” Paige mumbled against her lips, kissing her again. “So much.”
Azzi didn’t say anything about the night before—maybe because she still thought Paige didn’t remember, or maybe because she just didn’t have the words. But in the way she held Paige, in the way she kissed her back like she wanted to make up for every second they’d spent apart, she didn’t have to, at least not yet.
3rd Person POV - August 2021 (Connecticut)
They’re at Ted’s, music humming through the bar, the air humid with warmth and alcohol. Paige is sitting by the bar, talking to a girl she barely knows, just answering her questions out of politeness.
Paige didn’t even notice the girl at first. She was too caught up in the warmth of the bar, the buzz of alcohol in her system, and the presence of Azzi right next to her. They had been standing close, shoulders brushing, Azzi’s arm loosely draped over the back of Paige’s stool as Paige whispered something to her that made her laugh and glance in the direction Paige was referring to.
It wasn’t anything unusual. They always hovered near each other like this, caught in that undefined space between everything and something.
The girl came up while Paige was mid-laugh, leaning into Azzi’s side, but when the girl spoke, Paige straightened slightly, offering a polite smile.
“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you—I just wanted to say I’m a huge fan.”
Paige smiled. “Oh, thanks, I appreciate that.”
Azzi didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge the girl, just sipped from her drink while watching the interaction unfold.
“I actually had a couple questions—if that’s okay?” the girl asked, shifting slightly closer.
Paige shrugged, always happy to talk about basketball and never wanting to be rude to fans. “Yeah, of course.”
It was harmless at first. Just the usual questions about the team, how she felt about the upcoming season. Paige answered them easily, glancing at Azzi every so often as if expecting her to chime in. But Azzi stayed silent, Paige just assumed she was lost in her own thoughts.
“So, are you single?”
Paige barely hesitated before answering, because technically, she was.
“Yeah.”
Azzi scoffed. It was quiet, but Paige heard it.
Paige blinked at Azzi. “What?”
Azzi stood abruptly, her chair scraping against the floor. “Nothing.”
But Paige knew her too well. She could see the tension in her shoulders, the way she clenched her jaw.
“Azzi.” Paige’s voice was slightly louder now, calling her back, but Azzi was already moving, shaking her head.
Paige stood too, stepping closer. “What’s your problem?”
“My problem?”
The girl who had asked the question awkwardly shifted away, sensing the sudden shift in mood, but Paige barely noticed.
Azzi tilted her head, lips curling into something almost amused but not quite. “You didn’t even think about it. You just answered.”
Paige scoffed. “Because it’s not a fucking trick question, Azzi.”
Azzi’s jaw tensed. “Right. Because you’re so single.”
Paige exhaled sharply, suddenly feeling hot—from the alcohol, from frustration, from Azzi.
“I mean, yeah, I am.” She crossed her arms, brows furrowing. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”
Azzi’s expression flickered, something flashing through her eyes too quickly for Paige to catch. “Forget it.”
She turned on her heel, heading toward the door.
Paige followed without thinking, voice rising. “No, you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to act like I did something wrong when you’re the one who—”
Azzi spun around so fast Paige nearly ran into her.
“Not here.”
Her voice was lower now, but Paige could still hear the edge to it.
For a second, they just stood there, eyes locked.
Then, without another word, Azzi reached out, grabbed Paige’s wrist, and pulled her toward the exit.
The cold air hit Paige’s skin, a sharp contrast to the heat burning in her chest. Azzi dropped her wrist the second they were outside, pacing a few steps away before turning back, her eyes dark.
Paige exhaled hard, running a hand through her hair. “Alright, tell me what the hell that was.”
“Are you serious right now?”
Paige threw her arms out. “Yes, Azzi! I don’t get why you’re so upset over a question I didn’t even lie about.”
Azzi’s jaw clenched. “You answered it so easily.”
“Because it was easy!” Paige shot back, voice rising. “I am single! That’s what you wanted, right? You were the one who wanted to keep things open during your first few months here, so what the hell do you want from me?”
Azzi’s jaw tightened, her lips pressing into a thin line. “You could’ve at least hesitated. Said you weren’t available.”
“Are you kidding me? That’s what you’re mad about? You wanted me to sit there and stutter for you? For what?” She stepped closer. “I didn’t even want the fucking girl, Azzi. I don’t want any of them. But you—you don’t want to commit, so I go along with it. I always go along with whatever you want.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?” Paige shot back. “You don’t get to be mad at me when you’re the one holding all the cards. You always have.”
Azzi let out a breath, her expression faltering for a second. “Paige, you’re drunk.”
“No shit. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong, Azzi.”
Azzi turned away, shaking her head like she was trying to shut this all out. But Paige wasn’t done.
“You don’t want me to say I’m single? Fine, I won’t.” Paige took another step forward. “You want me to ignore every girl who looks at me? Fine, I’ll do that too.” She threw her hands up. “Hell, Azzi, just tell me what you want, and I’ll fucking do it! Because that’s what I always fucking do.”
Azzi’s nostrils flared as she turned back. “That’s not true, Paige. I don’t control you.”
Paige let out a dry laugh, shaking her head. “You don’t even realize it, do you?”
Azzi stayed silent, her eyes darting over Paige’s face like she wanted to argue but couldn’t find the words.
Paige exhaled shakily before lowering her voice. “You wanna know what really pisses me off about this whole thing Azzi?”
Azzi swallowed. “What?”
“I told you I loved you.” Paige’s voice cracked, just slightly.
Azzi stiffened.
“Ten months ago, Az.” Paige let out a humorless breath, shaking her head. “I told you, and you didn’t say it back.”
Azzi’s face fell, her lips parting like she wanted to speak, but nothing came out.
Paige scoffed, blinking harshly. “You’re pissed over some girl asking me if I’m single, but you—” Her voice wavered, her chest tightening. “You couldn’t even fucking answer me that night.”
Azzi swallowed again, her throat bobbing. “Paige, I—”
“No.” Paige cut her off. “You don’t get to be mad at me for answering a question honestly when you—when you couldn’t even fucking answer me.”
Silence.
Azzi’s fingers twitched at her sides like she wanted to reach for Paige, like she wanted to say something, but she didn’t.
Azzi exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down her face. “You only say this shit when you’re drunk.”
Paige’s head snapped up, her frustration boiling over. “God, Azzi, you always use that as fucking excuse! Like I’m blackout or something, like I don’t know what the hell I’m saying.” She took a step closer. “But I do. I always do. I always remember”
Azzi’s jaw clenched, her eyes flickering with something unreadable. “Paige you can’t just—”
“No, Azzi.” Paige cut in, her breath unsteady. “I meant it then, and I mean it now. But you—you act like none of it counts. Like my feelings don’t count unless I say them exactly when you want me to.”
Azzi let out a slow breath, looking away for a second before finally meeting Paige’s eyes again. The fight in her expression dulled, replaced by something softer, something tired.
“Can we just—” Azzi sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “Can we just talk at home please?”
Paige hesitated, her chest still tight, her hands still curled at her sides. She wanted to keep pushing, to make Azzi see how much this hurt. But instead, she exhaled hard and gave a slow nod. “Okay.”
Azzi didn’t say anything else, just reached for Paige’s wrist again, this time with less force, guiding her away from the bar and toward the dorms.
And even though the argument had paused, the tension between them hadn’t gone anywhere.


The door shuts behind them, but neither of them speaks at first. Paige walks to the bed, sitting down, her head still spinning from alcohol and frustration. Azzi lingers near the door, back against the wall, arms crossed over her chest like she’s bracing herself.
She doesn’t look at Paige when she finally breaks the silence. “Why do you never say any of this when you’re sober?”
Paige lets out a long breath, tilting her head back to stare at the ceiling. “I don’t know, Az.” She drops her gaze back down, meeting Azzi’s eyes. “But does it even matter?”
“Yes. It does.”
Paige scoffs, shaking her head. “No, it doesn’t. Because whether I say it drunk or sober, it’s still the truth.”
Azzi shifts against the wall before saying, “You think that’s the same thing?”
Paige leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “Yes! I always know what I’m saying, Az. I’m not just making shit up.”
Azzi looks away, jaw tight. Paige watches her carefully, then sighs, voice dropping. “Do you even care?”
Azzi’s head snaps toward her. “Of course I care.”
Paige pushes, her frustration mounting. “Then say something more than that. Say something more than just telling me that what I’m saying doesn’t matter because I’m drunk.”
Paige sees it—the hesitation, the walls going up. It makes her stomach twist. It’s almost ironic how much of a 180 they’ve done. It used to be Azzi begging Paige to say something, to give her a hint of how she felt.
Paige lets out a hollow laugh, shaking her head. “See? This is what you do. You never say anything. You never let me know where I stand with you, but the second someone asks me if I’m single, suddenly it’s a problem? Suddenly all hell breaks loose.”
Azzi’s brow furrows. “That’s not—”
“No, that’s exactly what this is!” Paige cuts her off, her voice rising. She leans forward, frustration spilling out. “You get upset, but you won’t tell me why. You won’t tell me what you want. Just—tell me how you feel, Azzi. Please.”
The silence between them stretches, heavy and suffocating. Paige waits, her heart hammering, but Azzi stays frozen, her throat bobbing as she struggles for words.
Paige lets out a quiet sigh, shaking her head. “That’s what I thought.”
She pushes herself up from the bed, ready to walk away. “Forget it. I need to cool off.”
Azzi’s eyes snap to her, panic flashing across her face. “Paige, this is your room.”
Paige shrugs, not turning back. “I’ll be back, I just—I need a minute.”
But before she can reach the door, Azzi moves.
Her hand wraps around Paige’s wrist—not forcefully, just enough to stop her. Azzi swallows hard, her grip tightening slightly. She could speak now. She could say what Paige wants to hear. But the words don’t come.
Instead, she pulls Paige toward her and kisses her.
It’s hesitant at first, uncertain, but when Paige doesn’t pull away, Azzi deepens it, her hands moving to Paige’s waist, fingers pressing into her like she’s afraid she’ll let go.
Paige exhales into the kiss, her frustration melting away into something softer like it always did with Azzi. After a second she starts to pull back, trying to say something, but Azzi doesn’t let her.
Azzi chases her lips, pressing closer, her breath shaky. As if she’s scared for the moment to end as if she’s terrified to lose Paige.
She can’t find the words, but she can show her. She wants Paige to feel what she’s been too scared to say. So she kisses her harder and this time, Paige doesn’t try to stop her.
Azzi walks them backward, guiding Paige toward the bed. Paige barely has time to register it before the backs of her knees hit the edge, and she’s falling onto the mattress, leaning up on her elbows, breath uneven.
Her pupils are blown wide as she stares up at Azzi, her chest rising and falling with each shallow breath.
Azzi reaches for the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head.
Paige freezes.
Her mouth parts slightly, and for a second, she just stares—completely awe-struck. The way the lighting casts soft shadows along the curves of Azzi’s body, the way her hair falls slightly over her shoulder—it makes Paige dizzy.
Azzi holds her gaze, searching for hesitation, but Paige’s hands are already moving before she can think—gripping Azzi’s waist, pulling her forward.
Azzi exhales softly before climbing onto Paige’s lap, settling over her with ease.
Then she kisses her again.
Paige’s hands travel up Azzi’s back, fingertips pressing softly into her skin as Azzi deepens the kiss, pouring every unspoken word into it.
She doesn’t need to say it. Not now. Not when she can show Paige exactly what she means.
And Paige?
She lets her.
She lets herself fall.
She always has.
Azzi pulls away just enough for their lips to part, her breath warm against Paige’s skin. Her fingers tremble slightly where they rest against Paige’s ribs.
“P, I’ve never—”
Paige nods up at her before she can finish, already knowing. Understanding.
“We can stop,” Paige murmurs.
But Azzi shakes her head. “No. Not this time.”
Paige’s eyes search hers for any uncertainty, but there isn’t any.
So she nods, allowing Azzi to pull her shirt over her head, letting it fall somewhere to the side.
Azzi’s hands roam over Paige’s skin, like she’s memorizing every inch, like she’s seeing it in a new light.
Then, with gentle certainty, Paige flips them over, caging Azzi beneath her.
“Let me know if you want to stop,” she whispers, hovering above her, eyes locked onto Azzi’s.
Azzi doesn’t respond with words. She just reaches up, pulling Paige down into another kiss, hands tangling into her hair.
3rd Person POV - 2021 (Connecticut)
Paige had always been the one who struggled with communication. She was the one who avoided hard conversations, who buried her feelings beneath layers of sarcasm and easy distractions. Azzi was the opposite—she talked things through, making sure nothing was left unsaid. That’s just how they worked.
But now? Now everything was upside down.
After that night, Paige had expected something—anything—from Azzi. A conversation. A reassurance. Even an acknowledgment. Instead, she got silence.
Azzi didn’t disappear, not physically. They still saw each other every day. They still sat together at meals, still warmed up side by side at practice, still lingered in each other’s spaces. But something had shifted. Azzi wasn’t looking at her the same way. She wasn’t teasing her, wasn’t touching her the way she used to. She was there, but not really.
At first, Paige tried to talk about it. She gave Azzi easy openings, little moments where she could have said something.
"You good?" she’d asked one morning after practice, nudging Azzi’s knee under the table at breakfast.
"Yeah, just tired," Azzi replied, keeping her eyes down on her plate.
Another time, they were laying together on the bed and Paige mentioned, "We should talk, don’t you think?"
"About what?" Azzi asked, and Paige had felt something inside her crack.
After a few days of trying, Paige stopped. She told herself that maybe Azzi needed space. That maybe she was overthinking it. But deep down, she knew she wasn’t.
Azzi was retreating. And for the first time, Paige was the one left reaching.
The worst part? It hurt like hell.
Because no matter how much she wanted to believe otherwise, she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that the reason Azzi wouldn’t talk about it was because she regretted it.
That maybe she didn’t love Paige back. That maybe she had gotten everything wrong.
So Paige gave her space. She stopped trying, stopped pushing. If Azzi wanted to pretend nothing had changed, then fine.
Still, the distance between them was suffocating. And with each passing day, resentment started to fester.
Like always it came to a head at Ted’s.
The bar was packed, the music loud, but Paige barely noticed any of it. She was a few drinks in, lingering at the bar with some girl from who knows where—she didn’t even remember her name. It didn’t matter. She wasn’t interested. She was just there, going through the motions, trying not to think about the way Azzi had been avoiding her for days. Paige knew she shouldn’t have let this girl get this close, knew she shouldn’t even be talking to her. But she wanted to get a reaction out of Azzi and she knew this was a sure way to do it.
She knew it worked when she felt that familiar gaze burning into her skin.
Azzi was a few steps away, sitting with their teammates, her jaw tight, fingers gripping her drink a little too hard. Paige wasn’t sure how long Azzi had been watching, but she could see it—the tension in her shoulders.
Just as Paige let out a small laugh at something the girl beside her said Azzi was next to her.
"Didn’t take you long to move on."
Paige turned slowly, her brows drawing together. "What?"
“Nothing. Just didn’t think you’d be so... quick about it."
"Are you serious right now?" she asked, her voice carrying over the music.
Azzi shrugged, bringing her drink to her lips. "I mean, you’re single, right? Just living it up finally."
"You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to act like you care when you’re the one who's spent the last few weeks acting like nothing happened."
Azzi’s lips parted slightly, but she didn’t speak, clenching her jaw to stop herself.
Paige shook her head. "No, say it. Say what you’ve been thinking. Because I know you, Azzi.
“Maybe I don’t care anymore. Maybe I just don’t have anything to say."
"Bullshit." Paige took a step closer, her voice rising. "You always have something to say. Except now."
Azzi exhaled sharply, her jaw tightening.
Paige shook her head, “You’re such a fucking coward sometimes Az.”
Azzi flinched.
Paige knew it was a low blow, but she didn’t care.
Azzi’s eyes darkened and hurt flashed across her face before she said something she knew would hurt Paige. "Maybe letting you fuck me was a mistake."
Silence. Paige felt the words settle. The bar blurring around her.
Azzi’s expression immediately shifted when she realized how far she went, like she hadn’t meant to say it, like she wished she could take it back.
Paige swallowed hard, forcing a laugh even as her chest ached. "At least now I finally know where I stand."
Azzi opened her mouth, but Paige didn’t wait for whatever excuse was coming. She turned on her heel and walked out, pushing past bodies, her vision hazy.
The cold air outside was a stark contrast to the suffocating heat inside the bar, but Paige barely noticed. She was too focused on getting away, her feet moving fast down the sidewalk.
But before she could get too far, a hand wrapped around her wrist.
"Paige, wait. I’m sorry."
Paige whipped around, yanking her arm free. "For what, Azzi? What the hell do you want from me?"
Azzi stood there, breathing hard, her eyes wild under the streetlights. "I’m so sorry, I—just—can we talk?"
"Talk? Now you wanna talk? After you stood in there and called what we had a fucking mistake?"
Azzi flinched. "I didn’t mean that."
"But you said it
And you know what? Maybe you’re right. Maybe it was a mistake. Not because of what we did, but because I was stupid enough to think you actually wanted this. Wanted me."
Azzi ran a hand down her face, frustration rolling off her in waves as tears pooled in her eyes. "God, Paige, you act like this is so easy for me."
Paige’s nostrils flared. "It is! It’s the easiest thing in the fucking world! I love you, Azzi! And I don’t understand why that’s so damn hard for you to accept, to believe me. But you don’t give a fuck so it really doesn’t matter.”
Azzi’s face twisted with something Paige couldn’t figure out—guilt, fear, longing. Maybe all of it.
"I never said I didn’t care."
Paige let out a sharp breath. "You didn’t have to. You shut down. You ran. You left me with nothing, Azzi. I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to give you space, hoping you’d come to me when you were ready. But all I got was silence."
Azzi shook her head, stepping closer. "I didn’t know what to do."
"You didn’t know what to do?!" Paige’s voice cracked, her hands trembling. "How about telling me the fucking truth? How about choosing me?"
Azzi exhaled heavily "I was fucking terrified, okay?"
"Of what?" Paige threw her arms out. "Loving me? Because, newsflash, Azzi, if you really loved me, you wouldn’t have pushed me away the second things got real."
Azzi’s eyes flashed with something desperate and before she could stop herself, the words spilled out of her mouth.
"I do love you Paige."
It came out like a confession, like a plea. Like something she had been trying so damn hard to bury but couldn’t hold back any longer.
Paige stilled. Her breath hitched. Tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them back, shaking her head. "No, you don’t."
Azzi stepped forward, looking at her like she was everything, like she was terrified to lose her. "Paige—"
Paige turned on her heel, ready to leave, to put as much distance as possible between herself and Azzi before she shattered completely. But Azzi wasn’t letting her go this time.
She grabbed Paige’s wrist again, but this time, she didn’t just hold her back—she pulled her in. Pulled her close, so close that Paige could feel the rapid rise and fall of her chest, the sheer panic radiating off her.
"Paige, please." Azzi’s voice cracked, and something about it—about the way she said her name like it was her last lifeline—made Paige freeze.
Azzi’s hands were trembling as she clutched at Paige’s arms. She wasn’t running now. She wasn’t shutting down. She was unraveling.
"I don’t know how to do this," Azzi admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t know how to love you without losing myself."
Paige swallowed hard, her anger slowly being replaced with concern. "Azzi—"
"No, let me say this." Azzi took a deep breath, blinking rapidly, a few tears rolling down her cheek. "I’m always so calculated. So in control. And then you come along, and suddenly I can’t even think straight half the time. You—" she exhaled shakily "—you scare the shit out of me, P."
Paige’s brows pulled together, her heart aching at the vulnerability in Azzi’s voice. "Azzi, I would never hurt you."
Azzi let out a small, breathless laugh, shaking her head. "That’s the problem. You could. You did for a little bit. When I was completely in love with you and I had to be your best friend and listen to you telling me about how you slept with someone else for the first time. That’s when I realized you could break me, Paige. How you could ruin my entire world and that terrifies me more than anything."
Paige’s breath caught.
"I didn’t pull away because I don’t love you," Azzi admitted, her voice trembling. "I pulled away because I love you too much. Because the moment I let myself have you, I knew I’d never want to let you go. I knew I wouldn’t be able to live without you and I didn’t know what to do with that."
Paige felt the last of her anger drain away, leaving only understanding in its place because she had gone through that exact same thing.
Azzi wasn’t scared because she didn’t love her. She was scared because she did.
Deeply. Completely.
Paige reached up, cupping Azzi’s face, her thumb brushing over her cheek. "You don’t have to know what to do. You just gotta trust me Az. Trust that maybe we can figure it out together."
Azzi’s lips parted, her breath shaky, and then she kissed her.
Not out of desperation. Not out of fear. Paige hesitated at first, a split second of uncertainty passing through her, but then she melted into it, her hands sliding around Azzi, squeezing her like she’d never let go. Her entire body was trembling, but not from the usual anger or frustration. This was something else. Something deeper, more vulnerable.
The kiss wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t about passion alone. It was about everything—everything they had been through, everything they wanted to be together. It was everything they’d both been afraid to admit.
When they finally pulled away, both of them breathless, Azzi rested her forehead against Paige’s, closing her eyes for a moment.
"I love you." Azzi whispered it so softly, as if the words had been buried for years, locked away in a place she’d never dared to go. "I’ve always loved you. I’ve loved you since I was 15. I just didn’t know how to say it."
Paige’s breath hitched. She felt a lump in her throat, a quiet sob wanting to escape, but she swallowed it down. She leaned into Azzi, her forehead still against hers, closing her eyes and letting out a shaky exhale. "Then please don’t run this time. Just let me love you, Azzi—because I—I love you so much baby. And I’m sorry I didn’t realize as fast as you did. That I—"
Azzi’s eyes fluttered open, meeting Paige’s she shook her head no slowly, her hands tightening around Paige’s waist. "It doesn’t matter. I promise I’m not going anywhere anymore."


It wasn’t the quiet moments that made them realize they were in love.
Not the nights tangled together in bed, whispering into the darkness, even when they weren’t officially anything.
Not the stolen glances or the lingering touches, the warmth of Azzi’s childhood bedroom where they figured themselves out.
Not the laughter, the tenderness, or the countless times they looked at each other like they held the entire world in their hands. When Paige dropped everything to be at Azzi’s side. When they’d wake up early and just smile at one another.
No—those were the moments they fell.
But this—this was when they knew.
It was in the arguments, in the breaking points. In the way their love made them reckless, made them desperate, made them vulnerable in ways they had never been before. It was in the fear, in the unbearable weight of knowing that the other had the power to destroy them completely.
Loving each other was never the risk. Letting themselves be loved back—that was.
But in the end, it was these moments—the raw, painful, necessary ones—that led them home to each other. That made it possible for them to be steady and completely content in one another when the attention started flying their way as they grew up.
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vasoppressive · 7 months ago
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When I fire up my copy of pokemon sun i always get so sad
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ra-vio · 2 months ago
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this blog is 11 years old now 🎉
I drew the siblings ever to celebrate as usual
#loz#wind waker#legend of zelda#toon link#aryll#I wasn't gonna draw anything but then I sketched link real quick and I was like okay wait i can do this#and then my brother dragged me outside ☠ but i still got it done today!#the anniversary is today. tumblr sent me a notification like ravio is 11 years old now! ravio the character is actually 11 years old.#albw released in2013. i received two reminders this morning. ravio drawing soon maybe. coming this year definitely. maybe#arylls like big brother use a damn fork#<- that was the tag when I first started drawing them in 2018#also i noticed when I draw aryll i always draw her in her blue dress so i decided to change it up. i only play 2nd playthroughs of wind wak#r because fun fact: i hate link's green tunic and hat. i finished a first playthrough years ago with a finished nintendo gallery#and then when i want to start a new playthrough i fight ganondorf again go through the credits cry and then BAM new game no-plus#i miss link's green tunic now though. its been so long. im so sick of champions garb...............idk the green is iconic idk#im not a huge fan of it but i think his base form should be green again. with the hat. let him look doofy as a default again#he was green in echoes of wisdom but i need them to follow through after again.#i didnt finish echoes of wisdom yet (SOON IM TRYING IM STUCK I NTHE SONIC ADVENTURE 1 WEB HELP) but what I saw of Link there?#he was kinda terrifying lmao its always funny to see that link is so extremely competent because i am not. that boy efficient#im stuck in the sa1 web because everyone is always talking about how good it is. so i played the pc port and. its apparently awful idk it i#thats just what sa1 outside of emerald coast plays to me tbh. but the dreamcast is supposed to be better. and i own a dreamcast. free me#i played on gamecube too. 12 years ago. it made me sick. maybe one day i'll install some mods that make it play better#why does it feel like the month is over when its only january 6#i played sa1 as a kid btw. just emerald coast tho. ALSO I DIDNT BUY A DREAMCAST FOR THIS I ALREADY OWNED ONE
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tamaharu · 1 month ago
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Donovan name 5 women
fuuuuckkkk i didnt know there were that many. uhhhhh amelia earheart. my mother. can i call a friend.
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tokruta · 1 year ago
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someone who is good at psychology help me understand why i adore jegulus with all my heart but don't like drarry outside of very specific aus
please my family is dying (my ability to read jegulus lives aus is heavily compromised)
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jestiamy · 11 months ago
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yeah I've. been into undertale aus again. happy birthday fresh. alt ver under cut
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fresh sans by @loverofpiggies . I don't think I have any extra notes. other than. yeah sorry my style has been (more) inconsisent lately ; I've been trying out stuff
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signs-of-the-moon · 12 days ago
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Hey. Hi everyone. I'm alive still. And around. But not here, not on the warrior cats side of things. SOTM isn't over, not yet. But I need some time. I'll be back, I promise. Just give me more time. Thanks to everyone who's stuck around
#depression is a real hell of a thing#my seasonal depression has gotten me in such a vice grip#and the state of the world is...fuck man it's frightening#I thought I'd be good at the start of the new year#I've haf the newest chapter of moon high ready to go since end of December#but then the dread of having to write the next chapter. and then the next. and the next. reallyyy got me feeling like crap#I've worked on planning and scripting and writing this story since 2018 with very minimal breaks in between#nearly 7 years of this series#and while I still love and adore sotm and my characters I guess I've just finally burnt out?#I needed a long break from writing warriors stuff. I hardly wrote anything else other than cat stuff since I started this project#so recently I've been focusing on other characters and stories I wanna tell. haven't published anything but its been nice to toy with ideas#I've been thinking about sotm since the beginning of the year tho and I definitely plan to cone back to it#I just don't feel ready quite yet. but I will soon and hopefully I'll be better than ever#maybe when the seasonal depression subsides I'll be in a better mental state to hunker down and focus on my series#for now I'll be staying on hiatus#if for some reason down the line I decide to give up on the series tho#I will at least take tine to talk about everything that could have been#like plots and characters and stuff#but not yet because I still want to try and continue sometime#again thanks to anyone who's stuck around. take care of yourselves and see you soon
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akc-g · 17 days ago
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being back into persona is awesome ive been having kin memory delusions n waking up in cold sweats thinking abt joker again can someone put me down
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ovcii-doodles · 2 years ago
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"That's right, and that's where I'll be. That is where we will be."
pls go watch the rvb restoration trailer
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 6 months ago
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I was just listening to a song I used to love while we were friends. I listened to it so often, we talked so often, it became the background music to our relationship.
I'm listening to it while I knit. I often forget that I started knitting because of you. I remembered tonight. It's strange, I never knitted anything for you. I've knitted for other loved ones, rarely for myself, but never for you. I remembered you showing me the amazing things you made, and I wished I could get to that level of skill. But at that time, you had to explain to me how to purl because I couldn't get it.
Everything reminds me of you in a terrible way. Everything I do is an echo of you. I started painting so that I could paint for you. I started knitting to bond with you. I hear your voice in the music I listen to. You're haunting the things that I love. Will I ever make a brush stroke or stitch without you on my mind?
#i should be able to block all music i listened to on Spotify from 2018-2020. i was not doing well and i dont need the reminders pls#im fine this was just kinda reflective#so much of what i do was inspired by her. i havent spoken to her in three years. we havent been friends for five#but my first painting was a gift to her. i started knitting because she knitted. i got so much music from her#we bonded heavily over music. and i used it to cope after she left. so unfortunately shes mixed into so much of it#she got me into dnd which got me into a different ttrpg im playing now (unknown armies)#shes a big reason i applied to the summer camp i worked at for six years#and a big reason i took the position i had the last two years. and the reason i told our camp legend (long story)#she was in my christmas in july gift i gave and received this year#i dont think ill ever be able to forget her. on good nights thats a good thing. its reassuring. she'll always be with me#but on bad nights. i feel like im never going to stop missing her#i was knitting tonight while listening to music. as the post suggests. and i was just overcome with her#this is the bed i was in when she called and left me. this is the bedroom we used to video call to practice sign language in#oh theres another one. i was going to be an asl interpreter. years ago in another life. i always practiced with her#we're both autistic and asl is easier than speaking a lot of the time#fuck. it reminds me of the ship of theseus. its 2:30am so i wont be able to explain well but#no actually i tried and i cannot explain. youll just have to understand. some days i wish i ciuld replace all the parts that were her#and sometimes im so afraid to lose the parts that were her because thatll feel like losing her#if i ever consciously decided to stop knitting (which i may have to do soon) it will feel like im replacing a board that was hers#how many of my boards are hers? are any of hers mine anymore? how many of hers can i lose before shes gone?#that last one was asked with fear and hope. and fear. depending on the day#god im tired. goodnight
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sonknuxadow · 1 year ago
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i kind of want to read stc because ive never read it before but i also never finished the sonic x comics but i also kind of want to re read at least part of archie because certain sections of it are just a huge blur to me because of the fact that i read the entire series including spinoffs and side comics over the course of like . 2 months tops. so many choices so many sonic comics to read .
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hollow-vok · 4 months ago
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Ohh im obssesed
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#uprooted#uprooted naomi novik#solya#marek#my main playlists dedicated to them :]#idk why they cought my attention in 2018 and since that year they have had a special place in my heart. sometimes throughout my day-#i realise im obssesed with them and they're not just some random characters i like. ive dedicated a lot of time on them#i wonder how my interest in them will be when i get older. i certainly know that i will miss them if i stop thinking about them#you could say they have seen me grow. i knew them BEFORE quarantine. they were with me DURING. and AFTER#they have been through so many phases of my life. its so strange.#they changed so much too...except Marek. he still looks the same I imagined him in 2018. solya is definitely different tho#but i do think i have a different more in depth understanding of both characters#even if the words i read in 2018 are still the same now that i look back at the book. they were so many things unsaid but if u looked-#closely you could understand them. solya and marek as individual characters have so much depth...even if its not explicitly said#or maybe its just me reading between the lines too much. i wish i just knew more about them. this is getting so long-#but I got a bit nostalgic. is crazy how i was just a child and somehow even tho solya was just the total opposite of the type of characters-#i like there was something in him. something that made me look at him. and i think thats actually so in character of him#i think that in the book even if someone didnt like him. it was still hard to look away because he stood out from the rest.#there was definitely something about him that attracted people. or else how would have he gotten so far in his schemes?#I may be overanalyzing it. but i love the Falcon so much. and i do like marek a lot as a character. i find him very interesting. i know he-#did bad. terrible. things i like him as a character. not as a person.#i wish i could have seen what was going on in that damaged mind of his...#analyzing his behavior its so entertaining to me. i love making up scenarios where he is at his worst. im not gonna lie#marek suffering and then finding comfort in not comforting things is one of my favorite headcanons.#his obssesion with his mother is also a very important part of his character (ofc) and i love imagine him doing things related to that#thinking about the ways their personalities connect and make them have a very toxic bond keeps me up at night..they made each other worst#and we actually never see that in depth in the book. everything is so subtle but my crazy brain can find the signs in any part#i will stop this rant here. i feel its so long and if i made any spelling mistake i apologise to my future self (probably my self from-#tomorrow) because i know i won't be able to fix the misspelling and that will stress me SO MUCH.#future self please dont stress about it. just be happy. and enjoy thinking about these insane characters
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kalashtars · 1 year ago
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crazy just howww much saltburn was a movie filmed For Me. i was there for the dark academia boom on tumblr. i was part of its creation. there's like a straight line between my posting about the secret history on tumblr and the creation of this film.
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abimee · 1 year ago
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twitter in general never worked for me because i feel like that website even before the musk algorithim suppression bibiity bobbity boo stuff was just always more about trends and the popular thing at the time which does horrible for me who is always late or just never present for trends. DA was fun while it lasted but i blew up my last DA account in 2018 and never looked back also that website should be boycotted. i refuse to engage with mastodon or cohost or pillowfort at all. im only on twitter because my friends are and the locked account function is my dsaving grace
and i dont like sharing Discord with strangers on account that i dont see discord as a social platform i see it as the equivalent of a landline where im only picking up calls if i can recognize the caller ID. im very much so stuck in the past of like 2014 and do not move with the motions of the internet so when a website i engage on dies i dont seek alternatives i simply crowd into a smaller and smaller hole until ill inevitably only be reached via youtube comment or something
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rosetintedgunman · 1 year ago
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Oh! You Must be New.
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Not that that's a bad thing, mind you. Everyone is new at some point. Even me! But it can be a bit of a problem when you find a blog that's been around in some capacity since 2018. There's a lot of gaps to fill in, and hopefully this post will help be a starting point.
While this is a Wilford rp and ask blog, no matter how busy or quiet it may be, it has been around for a long time. M.otherloving came out about a month or two after the blog was set up, and the accuracy of what I was writing meant this blog was on the right track - I was the only person in my circle at the time who didn't need to either make major headcanon changes or opt to abandon canon and go divergent. With every appearance, there's been no major tweaks that have been required to adjust the portrayal. To toot my own horn, it's been fairly spot on.
Between that and natural character development, this can mean that the blog could be a little... 'inaccurate' to expectations, and can cause a lot of confusion for those who aren't 'in the know'. So! Consider this a 101 on the character without needing to trawl through the gauntlet of a two-part bio (the second part isn't even finished yet....)
In brief, I kindly ask that you leave expectations of a reckless madman who fully personifies the "LOL XD RANDUM" and has no clue about anything going on at the door, please. If you want to compare him to a canon appearance, look more toward M.otherloving or Space.
For a lot more info to help get you started, read on.
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While this Wilf (also known as 'Rose' when interacting with variants) is still eccentric and kooky, he is more grounded in nature. Chances to interact with others and maintain a somewhat normal sense of time flowing in the correct manner have started to help him feel more connected. Not only that, he's starting to get glimpses of his original life as William, and a later life of Wilson Jackson Bartholomew (or just 'Jack'). The latter I haven't gone into much detail yet in general, so don't worry about that. If you see him getting glimpses of these memories, he doesn't go into hysterics. That's important.
He is six foot three, and heavy built. The evidence of his past life as a soldier is there in his broad shoulders, a barrel chest and strong arms, as well as how he can hold himself. However, he's got a proper tubby belly, and this softness almost counteracts the threat of the almost unnatural strength that lies within. His moustache is either pure pink or black with pink tips depending on the day. He's got a curly mop of black hair that has a slight red-pink tint when the light shines on it just right. The only genuine traces of pink in his hair can be found in his fringe, which curls over his right eye. There's usually faint stubble across his jawline, and he flat-out refuses to wear glasses (he'll say it's because he doesn't want anyone missing out on his 'cute chocolate eyes'. Don't believe him. He just doesn't like them and won't humour the idea of contacts). Despite this, he's still athletic, and can move surprisingly fast if you aren't prepared.
He's still a reporter, though these days he's taken a bit of a back seat. His work in the studio is helping the Jims and others who are making their presence known on camera. When he does interview, that reckless, gun-wielding side comes out in full force... But it's more akin to an act than anything truthful to who he is.
Instead, his priority is the Moonlight Roller. It's the reclaimed disco setting of M.otherloving that was redecorated and given a whole new lease of life. I go into a LOT more detail here, but in brief: it is a roller rink, amusement arcade, diner, and bar that is located both in a real location and in between the worlds and stories. If a character needs a break, they'll find a door to the Roller.
Personality-wise, Wilf is still eccentric, but it's closer to a 'weird uncle' mixed with a cartoon character. He's normally upbeat and childish, though he does have his more serious moments. He'll still take time to voice whatever odd thought crosses his mind on the dash, or go directly to another blog if he wants an answer or opinion on something. And to my surprise, he's even tried to be the stereotypical 'bartender who listens to others' woes'. I never thought that would happen! How did that happen?? He used to be notorious for putting his foot in his mouth!
As for his abilities? He's got the abilities to lift things in and out of pocket dimensions. He always has a weapon on his person, even if there's little reason for it these days. He can blink out of existence or disappear if eyes are off him, and use doors as a way to teleport/take shortcuts. This can sometimes land him in different timelines or eras, not that he minds. He's got impeccable aim, and he usually only misses if he chooses to. That's not mentioning his ability to use any weapon after a brief examination with startlingly good skill.
By the way. You can kill him, but he won't stay dead. He'll come back to pester you about it in a few days.
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This blog also has William, but I don't need to talk about any potential differences. What you saw in WKM is what you get, essentially. His height was rather unusual for his time, and he absolutely used this to his advantage to add to the intimidation factor. He was a loyal friend, but also not the nicest person to be friends with. And if he didn't know you? Good luck!
Sometimes, you may see someone called Liam. This is a 'what-if' timeline where Celine never arrived, resulting in William's death and him taking the role of 'the villain'. Despite the 'what-if', this was actually the intended plan, where William would die, and everyone else would leave, alive and safe. This goes into more detail about that. In brief, his main distinguishing factor is his paralysed left arm as a result of the fatal injury he received during the gun confrontation with the Detective.
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shiraru · 9 months ago
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Got really into drawing my ocs as anime bugs
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