#It reminded me of my cat so i had to get it.
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Hello! I saw your homicipher requests were open, and I wanted to request some general mr scarletella fluff if possible! :D
⊱ General Fluffy Headcanons ⊰ || Mr. Scarletella Headcanons
╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮ Character(s): Mr. Scarletella (Homicipher/文字化化) Reader Type: Human (Gender-Neutral Pronouns) Warning(s): Canon-typical Mentions of Violence (and horror-elements), Unhealthy Obsession/Possessiveness, Cultural Barriers (Mr. Scarletella Doesn’t Fully Comprehend Certain Emotions/Expresses Them Differently Than a Human Would). Genre: Headcanons, Fluff, Romantic or Platonic Relationship (It’s Complicated, honestly). Word Count: ~900 words Request: “Hello! I saw your homicipher requests were open, and I wanted to request some general mr scarletella fluff if possible! :D” Author’s Note: I’ll be honest with y’all, writing straight-up fluff for these characters is really hard to do lmao. I try to stay as canon-compliant as possible (it’s low-key a curse, but it’s such a great way to practice writing 😔), so I hope these are fluffy enough for you given, well… the source material as a whole haha. Mr. Scarletella wasn’t originally one of my favorite characters from the game, but he’s honestly starting to grow on me at a concerning speed – shout-out to all the artists on Twitter who have added to my enjoyment of this man. ✌️
→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated! ♡
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🩸: Whenever it rains, Mr. Scarletella is always standing right there next to you, holding his red umbrella over your form so you do not become drenched because of the dreary weather. He takes his job very seriously, too, not minding how cold water causes his clothing to cling to his already deathly cold skin. He does it with an ever-present smile, too, watching you with unblinking eyes while he happily follows you around. Mr. Scarletella doesn’t get cold, he typically doesn’t feel any physical sensation in the first place, so getting a little wet while being able to keep you dry is something he doesn’t mind doing for you. If you invite him to join you under the umbrella, he falters for a bit before eventually standing next to you, shielding both of you from the rain (he loves being able to stand that close to you – he can almost feel the warmth radiating from you, and he finds himself craving it even after the two of you have found somewhere to take shelter).
🩸: If there’s something you express an interest in, whether or not Mr. Scarletella is around when you make the off-handed comment, you’ll wake up to it lying right in front of your door. It’s honestly a bit creepy sometimes, just waking up to the article of clothing you looked at for longer than three seconds or the book whose title you briefly mentioned sitting at your feet when you open the door. In the past, any gift he left used to just be haphazardly placed in front of the door, and it reminded you of when a cat would catch a mouse and bring it to their owner (you’re not going to talk about the time you woke up to a literal human heart waiting for you, though…). However, Mr. Scarletella noticed that humans who exchanged gifts typically had them wrapped in paper, so he started to mimic their behavior, too, in the hopes you would like them more. Sure, his wrap-jobs were bad, almost hilariously so, but it was the thought that mattered.
🩸: Whenever he looks at you, his pupils further dilate (even more than they usually are – it’s almost to the point where his entire eye is purely black, the red of his irises lost in the dark void of his gaze). Mr. Scarletella loves being able to just look at you, needing nothing more in life. He’ll watch you with an unblinking stare while you do literally anything. Whether it be cleaning your home or making yourself a meal, he will observe you as if you were the most interesting thing to have ever existed. As stated before, Mr. Scarletella is very good at mimicking human behaviors so, sometimes, he’ll ask if he can join you in whatever task you’re doing. He’ll copy the way you clean the floors or perfectly execute chopping the vegetables for the dish you were making after showing him what to do a single time. He’s very pleasant to be with during moments like these since he’s very good at acting like a human most of the time (other times, though – say if you need something from the top shelf – his body will twist and morph in very unsettling ways... It just emphasizes that, even if he’s good at pretending, he still isn’t human at the end of the day).
🩸: Being with Mr. Scarletella means that you cannot have an unserious relationship, it’s just not in his vocabulary (because he’s obsessive, especially regarding you). He’s devoted to you entirely – body, mind, and soul – gladly letting you have the red umbrella to do with it whatever you wish. He’ll shiver slightly whenever you hold it in your hands, your touch is so strangely gentle as you softly run your fingers along the handle or press a kiss to the unassuming object. It hurts but in a different way. A part of him wishes you would just throw the umbrella to the ground, dig your heel into it, and have him experience a pain that was easier for him to understand… but you don’t. He loves your sweet touches, even if it’s painful and causes his chest to ache. He finds himself wishing he could touch you in that way, too, his ghost-like caresses causing your skin to tingle with static whenever his feather-light hands graze over your flesh (he loves cuddles and loving touches, even if he can’t experience them with you in a conventional sense).
🩸: If you ever find yourself being bothered by someone who won’t leave you alone or someone who won’t take no for an answer, well… they may or may not end up missing. If you don’t want Mr. Scarletella to take care of anyone who is bothering you for you, you’ll definitely have to explain that it’s not appropriate because of the differences in your cultures – death and murder are common in the other world, after all (I’d also explain to him that he cannot harm or threaten people you care about, either, since he honestly wants you all to himself). This does mean, though, that you know that you’re safe no matter where you are. Mr. Scarletella is always watching you so, if you find yourself in a situation where your safety is at risk, you honestly have nothing to fear. He’ll keep you safe – you’re his love, his world, his reason for living, and he won’t let someone else take that from him.
#🌸 . plum writes#homicipher#文字化化#mr scarletella#mr scarletella x reader#mr scarletella x you#homicipher x reader#homicipher x you#homicipher imagines#homicipher headcanons#homicipher fluff#mr scarletella fluff#imagines#headcanons#fluff
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Remember George's outline notes that had "joy of giving" and "mercy at the gate" for Arya? Mercy is crossed out and we obviously have that as her sample chapter, so what if Arya's next alias is "Joy"? Over-thinking the significance of that phrase and how it could apply to the rest of her Braavos arc🤔
#arya stark#asoiaf#something something /joy of giving/ could align with /all men must serve/ and Arya's apprenticeship with the courtesans#Arya learns more about courtly manners and becomes more comfortable with engaging in highborn spaces#while becoming more privy to Braavosi politics and how that connects to her responsibilities/identity as a Stark#when I imagine Arya reclaiming her identity I imagine it coming with her acceptance of even the /hard/ parts of her identity#I think Ned's words about /summer games/ and growing up will be incredibly relevant to her here#her reclaiming her identity while ignoring the /Lady/ aspect of it makes no sense...especially considering how often we're reminded of it#literally every time she reveals her identity it comes with people acknowledging her highborn status#one thing that makes me wish we had on-page Cat/Arya interactions cause I think her twow arc will be heavy on remembering Ned's words 😭#imagine her reuniting with Jeyne before she knows Bran+Rickon are alive and deciding to reclaim her identity at the unmasking festival#I have a pet theory that she could end up /taking responsibility/ for Jeyne's marriage to Ramsay in order to offer some protection to Jeyne#I think it fits considering she has a very protective nature and could feel guilty since she had the opportunity to reveal herself to Roose#basically I want the reclamation of her identity to be incredibly personal and about her feelings + values#which is why I like to imagine it happening before she's aware rickon+bran are alive but after she gets news that Jon is dead#I want her motivation to return home to be primarily about her internal development while outside factors are supporting#/need/ Arya exploring and accepting her identity in her own way#deciding to be Arya while her family is lost to her and that identity is connected to an unwanted marriage would feel so significant#(and yes it was Jeyne that was married to Ramsay but it was Arya's name used and it's still (partially) about/will impact her)#anyways I think about Arya's Braavosi arc a normal about can you tell? 😀#one day I won't put the majority of my post in the tags but today is not that day#I definitely thought too hard about this though that's why I have to hide it lol
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beloved pet.
☆ karasu x reader (gender not mentioned)
★ reader is pretty shitty all things considered | toxic couple dynamics | I DON'T CONDONE ANY OF THE (implied??) ACTIONS
notes: inspired by the songs beloved cat-> biz/LOLUET + my first time writing shitty people who're selfaware so please bare with me + ORIGINALLY was going to be kaiser but theres wine bottle hitting in the MV and i thought that i rather not write that
sypnosis -> during one night does karasu scale his surroundings like he does on the field, except now he uses it to learn more about the relationship he finds himself loving.
any normal person would leave right after you showed the signs, the signs that you weren't normal, you didn't think like a normal person, not normal about things, and sure as hell didn't do normal things.
but he wasn't exactly normal either, was he?
or maybe he was, and thats why he trapped himself in the cage of your love.
he didn't know how many hours had passed with this cold shackle grasping his neck, cold and barely heavy chains rolled off his shoulder and onto the bed, the curtains blocked the sky from giving him an idea of what time it was.
but all things considered, he knew he couldn't escape it.
he wouldn't.
even if the chain clasped around his neck and felt easy to break, Karasu knew better than to try and move against the impossible force, he knew his options were tied, but could you blame him?
you were just so cute and so eager to love him, and how could he refuse your affection? he'd be a fool to leave a ravishing figure like you, a fine little gal in a world of mindless fools.
oh but the pleasure of seeing you as a peer to a friend would be nothing compared to what the raven haired had felt a bit after the relationship was made official.
and what he found out after was nothing but a thrill to experience, it felt like with each day you spent together, the more transparent you became to him, more naked.
your silly antics like patting his hair, or whispering praises & cotton soft words, your soft caresses on his bed at night started to feel more calculated, oh he wasn't blind to any of that, you'd both be fools to assume that any of these things were to be gone unnoticed.
but he never minded any of it, especially if it meant you'd stay with him and kept lulling him to sleep with your soft charms, than his lips are sealed. whether he likes it or not.
karasu shifts in his spot in bed a bit more, feeling the shallow warmth over his body from his covers, it didn't even feel comfortable in his own bed anymore because of that fucking chain. it scales his senses to be chilly yet comforting, to remind him he's not alone.
it loops around his body, the most prominent one on his neck, that one was easy to feel, but there was soft weight rolling aournd his muscular torso, and even if the voices inside were whining and moaning to break the tiny metal vines, he ultimately ignored both the feeling and the voices.
it was easier to sit in this loving cage than trying to struggle to get out, even if the texture of the rusty chains would itch his skin like an annoying cat.
then came to the slightly more heavy metal bonds, cold snakes of silver could be felt entangled with his own legs, mocking the feeling of someone caring and cuddling with him as he slept.
as he drunk in his own observations of everything, he cracks open an eye, his surroundings confirmed himself to be on his bed, as for the chilly metal ropes he feels cuffing his limbs and neck..
his once vibrant purple eyes scale his physical surroundings, nothing out of the ordinary, just the way he had left it, he's about to lower his eyelids when a shiver seized him by the spine.
he tilts his head ever so slightly to see what was going on behind him, and thats when it hit him.
it was never chains or shackles or.. anything!
it was always you.
your legs in between his curled slightly around his thighs, your cheek resting on his nape buried deeper, your breaths pushing against his bare skin the intimate contact that wasn't even contact.
your arms around his torso only tightened ever so slightly, clinging onto him, bounding him to the bed, bounding himself to you.
like he was some pet, cuffed to their post, waiting for their owner to come home.
erm that was lowkey unorganized im sorry
#istilldontknowhowtoendthese...
@sharkissm cause you love ur man right...
tags:
@mininji @tofumiarchives @atlantic-sailor @the-lazyyy-artist
@rinitoshiplzdateme @fishii-writes @reapkusho
#bllk#blue lock#bllk x you#bllk x reader#★ rini's writing#karasu x you#karasu tabito#bllk karasu#karasu x reader#bllk x y/n#bllk x gender neutral reader#tabito karasu x reader
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tuesday again no problem 11/26/2024
i don't have a good anecdote this week, i have the flu. look at my cat
listening
ty @shinygoodrock for the rec! billy bragg's the marching song of the covert. i was startled by the british accent but briefly forgot the uk's been colonizing way longer than god's favorite country, the usa
youtube
so SO cheery and so catchy! samples When The Ants Go Marching In!
Here we come with our candy and our guns And our corporate muscle marches in behind us For freedom's just another word for nothing left to sell And if you want narcotics we can get you those as well
it reminds me a lot of this poster i have framed but not hung up yet, jesse purcell's "A.G.F.T.P.O.T.U.S.O.A. (A Gift From The People Of The United States Of America)" (getcher own print at the link through justseeds)
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reading
my favorite tinned fish newsletter is back! i like this newsletter for its dry anecdotal voice, but i coincidentally have a tin of mackerel in tomato sauce in the pantry for mackintosh name reasons. seems like the best way to have it is fairly plain with some light seasonings. the author was a senior editor at vice and has been out of work for a bit since that site's collapse, so it's good to see him back doing silly free nonsense like his tinned fish newsletter
i had Dreadful by Caitlin Rozakis on hold for nearly six months so it extra hurt when i didn't particularly care for it.
like, what a premise! a beautifully written blurb that got my attention! i think i got an ad for this one on instagram. either that or it was floating around on this site.
A sharp-witted, high fantasy farce featuring killer moat squid, toxic masculinity, evil wizards and a garlic festival - all at once. Perfect for fans of T. Kingfisher, K. J. Parker and Travis Baldree. It’s bad enough waking up in a half-destroyed evil wizard’s workshop with no eyebrows, no memories, and no idea how long you have before the Dread Lord Whomever shows up to murder you horribly and then turn your skull into a goblet or something. It’s a lot worse when you realize that Dread Lord Whomever is… you. Gav isn’t really sure how he ended up with a castle full of goblins, or why he has a princess locked in a cell. All he can do is play along with his own evil plan in hopes of getting his memories back before he gets himself killed. But as he realizes that nothing – from the incredibly tasteless cloak adorned with flames to the aforementioned princess – is quite what it seems, Gav must face up to all the things the Dread Lord Gavrax has done. And he’ll have to answer the hardest question of all – who does he want to be? Dread Lord Gavrax has had better weeks.
this is a debut novel based on a friendgroup's DnD campaign, and it does show a bit. maybe you have a friend who’s freshly into improv? it gets a little wrapped up in Doing Bits. at several points i did think “i could be reading terry pratchett right now instead of enduring this bit.”
the writing itself is solid on a technical level-- there's a good balance of dialogue to description, no word choices really slammed me in the face, it flowed pretty nicely and was a fast read. flounders a bit in the middle but does pick up speed, a middling-okay pacing. if this were not a debut novel and felt a little bit more done on purpose i would be interested in talking about how the frantic lunge from plot point to plot point mirrors our protag's internal sense of self.
i do not think this rises to the level of farce, or even pastiche. it is a darkly comedic but fairly straightforward fantasy. very light PG romance elements.
so much of it is concerned with perceptions/expectations/visual tropes and then the big baddie is simply a baddie with no further interrogation. like a lot A LOT of philosophical musings on the nature of evil and the expectations thereof creating self image and morality and has unionized goblins. everything else in this book is questioned. you can’t go halfway with a deconstruction or you’re just writing more of the genre you’re trying to deconstruct. there was a scene that really clicked satisfyingly in my brain with a female sorceress, where she goes basically everyone expects me to be a bitch and a whore so let's just cut to the chase and have fun being a bitch and a whore. this alternate viewpoint of misogyny making you evil does not successfully contrast with our protag's internal calibration and view of evil but damn if that isn't the experience of being a woman in stem.
the protagonist, gav, wakes up with No memories and thereby becomes Good. or at least Better. does rozakis feel that everyone is born good and your reactions to things happening to you shape your morality? there's a reveal that one of the murders amnesiac!gav is most torn up about didn't actually happen bc his staff faked it and smuggled her out. i think this seriously undercuts the moderate amount of thinking and soulsearching and figuring out how to atone for past actions he does previously. and then it doesn’t really address any of the problems it tangled with in favor of a movie ending. it did tread a bit into therapyspeak for me. fewer shades of gray than i would have liked.
this book is also extremely heterosexual for what i expect a modern comedy fantasy to be. it neatly sidesteps the gay=/= evil conundrum but it was startling to find our protagonist with not even a curious homosexual thought.
occasionally irritating, but it was funny, except when it had to unfold some plot and forgot about being funny. this was a perfectly pleasantly written debut novel but wasn’t quite what i wanted or expected. it tries a lot of things and it’s interesting to watch the rube goldberg machine of a plot work and fail in some parts, even if it really did not carry through on its central philosophy.
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watching
breezing through a lot of stuff bc it's easier to sleep propped up on my couch arm than in my actual bed. i usually don’t long DNFs but has to remind myself never to try Quo Vadis again. my god is that a tiresome film. and not even pretty costumes or pretty set design for the first forty minutes. whereupon i bailed. all of these were first time watches, dunno why I haven’t been reaching for comfort movies lately
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playing
genshin update knocking it out of the park and also really reminding me of link tearsofthekingdom. also introduces a really good bird you can possess and fly around with. lots of vertical sky/coastline exploration which is so so so fun. i have done most of the things in this update inside a week bc i don't think they anticipated unemployed people like mainlining it between applying for jobs.
this girl's village has background music that reminds me of classic american westerns like bernstein or copland? heavy billy the kid ballet vibes. the music in this update is SO good im excited to yell about it in an future week when they drop the next album.
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making
still fallow baybee. currently incubating the influenza. no longer feverish thank u nyquil
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🦇 Tiny stone bat, no ID 🦇
#stone sculpture#cute#tiny#just a little guy#bat#halloween#transparent#silly little guy#png#Originally picked up at 2024 Galaxycon from a vendor who sold some miscellaneous items.#It reminded me of my cat so i had to get it.
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bro the feminine wiles aren’t even a joke like. im with that anon who thought hellfire gala charles was a woman when they first saw him bc same, that design is insaaaane (/pos). how could u not think that when u see it lmfao. idk whose choice it was to give him a corset but the hourglass figure + female coded jawline combo do not lie. i saw it on pinterest and i was like ohhh don’t lie to me i know an anime girl when i see one- WAIT PROFESSOR X????
and that’s not even to mention movieverse charles ofc. we’ve all seen james mcavoy and his big sparkly kawaii anime eyes, i shouldn’t have to say it. charles xavier is never beating the allegations, i fear
gonna need this ask hung in the louvre i fear
#fave#snap chats#i think you fully had me at 'big sparkly kawaii anime eyes' like TRUE but vjlKJLKVJAKL#i got this ask while i was out getting sushi with my brother and when i say i was near losing it in our lil booth ajvlkeaklj#female coded jawline is INSANE thats just his face 😭😭😭#the hellfire gala outfit does give off like. Space Girl energy though im not gonna even lie. i think its the halo#and corset /who gave him a corset/ like im the last man to criticize another man wearing a corset i promise#but bold decision to do so right in front of my eyeballs#the princessification of charles xavier needs to be studied im so serious when did this start#i really do think its just the cat suit outfits cause when he's got a suit its different#though.. i was gonna lie but even with the beard he still pretty in FoX#and ill be tbh im still mixed on the beard look like for starters youve reminded me he's blonde and i still think thats illegal#and yet .... his beautiful eyes distract me all the same. like whatever you want bbg you can look like a viking if you want#charles xavier having hair is cursed in general bar the movies and because of that i can only imagine him brunette#but he is my problematic wife so ill love him regardless#it'll be very hard to when he has a terrible brad pitt cut in one universe and wears wigs in the other but thats what loves about#anyway hope everyone had a lovely halloween !! i watched all of S1 of xmen evolution with my bro :)#also if i threw together a quick charles costume then you have no proof of that and esp dont ask our sushi waiter mk thanks#ended the night playing a bit of shadow gen .. if i cried a lil no i didnt thats between me and god ....
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hhhhidea...,,,, CUTE idea (kinda?) dust reading to phantom papyrus during night to lull him to sleep,,,, but really its just a way for him to pretend that everythings not really that shit (as if phantom paps isn't just dust's denial incarnate) and to help him NOT wake up because of a nightmare again or something
(and just because i can't resist now im imagining this with mtt. not that dust stopped reading to paps in place of killer and horror (because he wouldnt he simply wouldn't) but now the two join them for storytime. horror knocks out pretty damn fast and eventually dust falls asleep too after he makes sure that paps is satisfied with the amount he read and then killer's just left to sit there. maybe he tries to fall asleep maybe he doesn't,,,, maybe he picks up the book and continues reading but EITHERWAY,,,,,, this scene in my head so 💥💥💥😇😇😇)
#sweet soft mtt taking OVER triglycercule's brain has been invaded with them.........#horror probably sleeps like a rock man. dust is a very very very light sleeper. killer doesn't sleep at all and when he does#its just like that half asleep state. better than nothing tho....... those weeks of not sleeping probably leads to the most delicious naps#now in an ideal world killer learns to get a proper sleep schedule even if he can't feel his exhaustion#however in MY mtt dominated world killer doesn't fix his sleep habits and instead just takes a shitton of naps everywhere#they killerfied the house (made everything softer to sleep on) and killer always has 2 walking pillows to sleep on#sure he might not get 8 hours of sleep like during night. but he got that over the day so its ok TRUSY#this surely wont have any bad side effects but whatever its the mtt since when do they care about PROPER habits. if it works it works#ik i aaaaalways say hrkl wouldn't like phantom paps and find it weird but also now im considering#like. them being jealous of dust for always having kinda papyrus with him#like damn..... horror fucked up his brother permanently. he will never get the old paps back#and killer doesnt want to see his papyrus again because then he thinks hell just ruin everything again#but dust gets to talk and laugh and joke with his paps all the time!!! he got it better than them and thats just cus he hallucinates!!!! wt#i mean phantom paps isnt a 1:1 version of papyrus but hes close enough in my eyes#another idea....... horror (and maybe killer if he warms up to it) hanging out with dust JUST to talk to phantom paps#dust could easily just lie about what phantom paps says (although unless he had a reason he wouldnt risk upsetting paps like that methinks)#but theres something there. something something toxic mttpoly dynamic or whatever idc man. im in the mood for FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!#i think it would be funny if phantom paps says dusts deepest thoughts about hrkl. and then if he wants to say it dust has to filter it a LO#they could be sitting near killer and phantom paps would provide a detailed description of why killer has the mannerisms of a cat#and then dust would (hesitantly) agree to everything paps said (he was thinking it too) but when killer looks back at him#(he's been staring at killer for the past 10 minutes to see if what paps said was right) dust just says like. you remind me of a cat#OR BETTER YET he doesn't wanna admit that he thought of that so he just says paps says you remind him of a cat#insert horror version of this moment here. and killer quickly realizes that dust's just using papyrus as an excuse for why he says stuff#like that sometimes. horror just thinks dust's a weirdo freak (but unlike killer he takes the little observations to heart. loser)#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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i love my cat 💕
#genuinely she feels like the child my late cat never had#she reminds me sooo much of how he was when he was young#i feel so infinitely lucky to have been able to get her#txt
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Made myself a sona since I've been here for three years now, and don't see the hyperfixation fading any time soon, so why not?
Also bonus sketch: I mobianized my cat because I wanted to.
He's my little baby boy. He's scared of the sound of rain and his own collar. He WILL bite your hand and kick your shin if you get too close, and would probably blow up a car if left unsupervised, so I figured it was best to include him so I could keep an eye on him.
#I'm winning the bloody battle against the part of me that cringes. slowly. painfully. but I'm winning.#my art#sonic the hedgehog#sona#self insert#i guess#my sketches#I'm a cat because I've had roughly 10 different people tell me I remind them of a cat. so. Cat. Ragdoll specifically�� I've decided.#he loves his fish toys and uses them as pillows I had to include one#it's 1am but I'll rb again in the morning.#I'm trying SO hard to open commissions and this was actually 100% done to get an idea for pricing. so that will hopefully be announced soon
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will ��#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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lupita making fan videos of her cat to glass animals 🥹🥹🥹 the strides this woman is making in sexy cat lady representation. gone are the days when getting a cat after a breakup over the age of 40 was seen as tragic and life ending
#jrnlsht#i have been hyper aware of my age this weekend#just a lot of little reminders that guys my own age or even five years older see me as totally lacking in desirability#like im totally invisible at this point except to old men#not that I was desirable in my youth either but i was aware that i was young and that made me valuable as a romantic partner in some way#it feels as if now im forced into an asexual role where looking *hot* is basically impossible ever again#which is fine bc my career is in such jeopardy that i shouldn't be paying any attention at all to my sx life but#that part of me that is so desperate to be wanted also feels worse than ever#which just seems backward#why the fuck couldn't that feeling go away along with my youth instead of getting stronger -_-#i was complaining about this to ethan and telling him about some of the things i had happen here in LA#and his advice was basically just give up 🙃 accept the old lady lifestyle#and then he teased me mercilessly about my crush on geno and how creepy im being with my hat and my sculpture 😭#and i was like fantasy is all i fucking got dont take that away from me#i cant even have the companionship of a cat. pls my life is so sad
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inconsolably emotional over this comment on a stuffed animal cleaning video
#also look at this little cat 🥺 he was so dirty at the start and they cleaned him so well#it reminded me of when i last cleaned my old stuffed cat#i can never get her back to her original color. she was orange and it just faded over time a lot so she's a dull brown now#but i cleaned her up a little and brushed and fluffed her#even got risky and did surgery to give her some more stuffing so she could sit upright again#and she looked so beautiful!!!!#her eyes and nose are chipped and her whiskers have been gone for a long time too but i cant fix that#i dont need to tho i think it adds character :^)#srry im rambling now i just love my stuffed cat dearly. ive had her since i was 2#tldr i love stuffed animals#i think caring for them is such a beautiful and pure form of love#to know they aren't real but still treat them gently. just because it feels good to. ❤️#my posts
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grief is such a weird emotion bc i can be fine most of the time even if it think about it, but then sometimes thinking about it digs it up all over again
#in regards both to my cat and my grandma though i was mostly thinking about my grandma when i wrote this#i was fine the next day after she died bc like. it was expected. she was in hospice for several months#and a nurse had been staying with her 24/7 for the last 2 days. the nurse told us it probably wouldnt be long on the last day.#we knew it was coming so i didnt feel too bad right after it happened. it was only when the mortician showed up that it sunk in#but the next day i was fine. if she got brought up in conversation id get a bit sad but i was mostly fine after that day#and its been. like. a little more than 3 months since then#i havent been thinking about it much but idk. sometimes it just pops into your head and you get reminded that she isnt here anymore#sometimes i still feel like shes still there when i walk into that room. it still partially smells the same#i turn on the light and feel like im somewhere im not supposed to be until i realize that we cleared out her stuff months ato#you wouldnt know that someone was bedridden and in hospice in there just from looking at it#but sometimes i just get that mental image of her being in there. or when she was in a nursing facility for a time and mostly normal#when we thought she was just almost septic and not nearing the end#the stupid doorbell we had her ring when she needed something that made us all jump whenever we heard a similar sound#the fact that the last blanket she ever started crocheting is still in that room and never finished#her rocking chair that has been sitting empty for probably over a year now#the haunted lamp in what used to be her bedroom pre-hospice that keeps turning on#the fact that her cars no longer in the driveway#idk. thinking about it doesnt like. actively make me cry or anything. but it is like. a lurking feeling#like ive been aware and fine with the fact that shes gone. and has been gone#but sometimes i really... remember that shes gone#i still forget that its like. a permanent thing and that shes not just in the hospital again#i wouldnt say i feel too much grief about her dying. i feel more about my cat that died 8 years ago.#but it is a weird feeling to recognize. maybe i only felt sadder about my cat bc (to me) it was unexpected#idk.
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🦋
#saw Another cat that had been hit by a car&am once again reminded of the fact that i am just Incapable of the level of nonchalance needed#to have an outdoor cat. i physically&mentally cannot do it.#forget every logical good standard reason ive always been for indoor only cats#now that i actually Have a cat the idea of my baby leaving this house to go wander the world is insane to me.#there are gardens w lilies&shit. every single year i see posts warning ppl to keep lilies out the house if they have cats bc theyll like.#die immediately from what i can tell of the info that gets spread.#&i am just supposed to be okay w my cat out in the world when FLOWERS can kill it?????????????#cant do it. obviously there are many Many good reasons to advocate for indoor only cats.#but even losing my cat in my house gives me heart attacks i literally cannot imagine a world#where i just allow him to come&go as he pleases that is just straight madness to me i couldnt do it.#SO grateful he hates going outside unless its straight to the car.
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I think my least favorite thing that happens in fandom spaces is how overly familiar people act towards you. Like whenever I get a post over 200 notes I have people making jokes in the tags that aren't like outright distressing or gross or anything but that just. idk! are jokes I would only make with people I know. Like "fuck you!" or "oh this is awful" or whatever that's done in a joking tone but it's still weird. You don't know me like that
And it's not so much a problem over here because we are so insular as a community so even if I don't know you guys by name or if we don't follow each other I still recognize the person commenting on my stuff. enough to almost certainly recognize the joking tone instantly and for that familiarity there to be warranted. we're not friends but it's like, yeah! I know this person they've been here forever. It's comfortable.
But in larger spaces that casual familiarity is gone. I've literally never interacted with you before. It's like if you overheard a conversation on the street and just walked in and started joking around with them like you knew them. it's uncomfortable!! and like yes obviously I'm looking for interactions when I post and tag things that's the whole point, so it is inherently different than say a private conversation being intruded on but djakfoofjf just don't act like you know someone you've literally never engaged with at all before.
#root talks#vent#delete later#like it's not the same feeling as when people are just telling me I'm a dumbass or a piece of shit#Like what happened when I first started posting in this neck of the woods#It's a different kind of ''oh I hate this''#And it's not just clarity of intent here that's the issue#bc even though that absolutely factors into it if I got a tag that was like ''kys /j'' from a stranger I would hate that#we don't know each other!!#Just bc ur joking doesn't mean I'm going to be cool with that joke#and again tbc this doesn't happen on this blog#it keeps happening on my main tho and it's super fucking weird!#Post gets more than 100 notes? I am going to get weird comments#The anonymity online usually results in people not really reading this as a real person receiving ur messages#which I am not the first person to point that out#and I've also had this issue especially when I was younger!#It was something I had to grow out of and a social skill I had to develop#and even now I find myself constantly reminding myself a real human person is reading and responding back to me#a person with a job and cats. who is going to get groceries tomorrow or forgot to fill their car up with gas on their way home from work#like people with huge complex lives are typing to me and reading what I say so I have to think abt what I say!#Idk I'm just thinking abt this it's been a weird time
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