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#i cant even have the companionship of a cat. pls my life is so sad
freebooter4ever
·
2 months
Text
lupita making fan videos of her cat to glass animals 🥹🥹🥹 the strides this woman is making in sexy cat lady representation. gone are the days when getting a cat after a breakup over the age of 40 was seen as tragic and life ending
#jrnlsht
#i have been hyper aware of my age this weekend
#just a lot of little reminders that guys my own age or even five years older see me as totally lacking in desirability
#like im totally invisible at this point except to old men
#not that I was desirable in my youth either but i was aware that i was young and that made me valuable as a romantic partner in some way
#it feels as if now im forced into an asexual role where looking *hot* is basically impossible ever again
#which is fine bc my career is in such jeopardy that i shouldn't be paying any attention at all to my sx life but
#that part of me that is so desperate to be wanted also feels worse than ever
#which just seems backward
#why the fuck couldn't that feeling go away along with my youth instead of getting stronger -_-
#i was complaining about this to ethan and telling him about some of the things i had happen here in LA
#and his advice was basically just give up 🙃 accept the old lady lifestyle
#and then he teased me mercilessly about my crush on geno and how creepy im being with my hat and my sculpture 😭
#and i was like fantasy is all i fucking got dont take that away from me
#i cant even have the companionship of a cat. pls my life is so sad
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