#It helps if you use a guide
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Responses to using a fidget toy: - "This person isn't paying attention" - "Wow that's really distracting" - "Stop doing that, you're being disrespectful"
Responses to using a rubick's cube as a fidget toy: - "Holy shit I could never do that" - "You know my friend used to do those, but they never taught me" - "This person is a genius" - "Wow they must be really engrossed in that solve" - "Let me get you a 5x5: you've clearly mastered the 3x3"
#the last one actually happened#the friend who got it was surprised when I actually solved it in the same day#It helps if you use a guide#I haven't used normal fidget toys in public yet I'm just guessing on that front#actually autistic#autism#fidget toys#rubick's cubes are highly customizable on the sensory front
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everyone has to be a little less mean to themselves about not reading enough books. letting go of reading as a pride thing is the first step to relearning how to actually enjoy reading for pleasure again. it's totally fine to start with a novella or with a comic or with a field guide or with literature meant for someone younger instead of being mad at yourself for not grokking ulysses in a week. just vary your diet and you'll be good.
i'm a literature scholar, i'm the one who has to be strict with myself about page counts and citations. you all? do what you want, just read and have fun.
#seeing so much “no one reads anymore! i don't read anymore!” doom and gloom everywhere#stop that! go read a 50 page novella as slowly as you want and sleep soundly at night.#none of you are stupid. fake concept.#however: many of you are wrong#victor text#also: i was assigned ulysses. had to read it in a week#it was basically fine as long as i used the big annotated guide of What Aspects Of Contemporaneous Irish Culture Were Being Referenced Here#with a big helping of 'oh okay that would have been impossible to intuit on my own i'm so glad i looked it up'
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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Daenerys Missandei Irri and Jhiqui!
[Image Description: A full-length drawing of four people, Daenerys Targaryen, Missandei of Naath, and Dany’s two Dothraki handmaidens, Irri and Jhiqui. They are standing progressively farther back from the viewer. Daenerys stands in profile, walking forward, talking to someone. Missandei and Jhiqui have their bodies facing the viewer, Irri is angled slightly to the right side of the drawing. Missandei, Irri, and Jhiqui look at Daenerys. They are standing on a red carpet against a blank background.
Daenerys wears a purple tokar with a gold fringe. She wears her dragon crown, a gold bangle, rings of various materials, a gold vambrace with purple stones, gold earrings with purple stones, and an elaborate necklace with purple stones. From the necklace and the crown dangle long strings of red and black beads. She wears an anklet and leather sandals. A few golden bells can be seen in her hair.
Missandei wears a knee-length light orchid-color dress. It hangs loosely around her. Her dress is trimmed at the hem with purple and blue beads of different lengths. She wears sandals similar to Dany’s. She wears a large V-shaped piece of jewelry similar to a collar around her neck and over her collarbones. It is gold, mostly decorated with purple stones, and a blue butterfly design. Missandei wears earrings with blue butterflies and purple, pink, and yellow stones. She wears a bracelet of alternating pink and yellow stones. Her hair is in braids to pull it away from her face, but is otherwise in an Afro-type style. She holds a tablet and writing utensil in front of her chest. She has an interested expression as she looks up from her writing towards Dany.
Irri wears Dothraki clothes. She wears long trousers, which are blue fabric with a fringed panel of leather along the inside of her leg and groin. She wears leather boots with green, white, and purple painted swirls on them. She wears a dark leather belt around her middle and a belt of gold discs over it. The central gold disc has a green stone. More blue fabric wraps around her chest, either pleated or wrappings. Over this is a painted vest, primarily decorated with blue, green, and white. On her upper arm is an armband with an illustration of a horse galloping in grass. She has leather wrappings on her wrist and opposite upper arm. She wears one visible ring. She wears a leather necklace with a triangular gold pendant and gold triangular earrings. Her hair is in at least three braids, tied off with gold beads. She has bangs. She wears a woven headband of green and blue, with jade stones. Her face is neutral.
Jhiqui also wears Dothraki clothes, although hers do not look practical for riding. Her clothes are primarily fabric of a deep raspberry color. Along the outer side of her trousers is a stripe of leather, fringed at the end, painted with pink and pale purple flowers. On her chest she wears a beaded brooch shaped like a flower, with pink petals and a green “stem”. She wears slippers, in the same material as the rest of her outfit, with a decoration of pink flowers on yellow around the heel. Her vest is laced closed over a green and gold under layer. Her vest is trimmed at the hem with gold discs. Around her middle is a dark leather belt, with a thin belt of gold discs over it. She wears a leather necklace similar to Irri’s, with a circular gold pendant with a garnet stone. Her earrings match this pendant. She wears two rings. Her arm band is gold and garnet. Her hair is worn similarly to Irri’s. She has a bracelet with chips of green jade set in silver on a leather cuff. She has a nose piercing with a gold chain that leads to her earring. She appears to be wearing rouge. She looks mildly interested in whatever is happening. End ID./]
#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#my art#asoiaf fashion hour#dothraki fashion#dany’s crown#daenerys targaryen#missandei#irri#jhiqui#dothraki#okay tokar design partially inspired by artistellen’s assyrian mermaid design#irri’s outfit is also inspired by someone else hang on.#okay it’s greywoe ghostlyturncloaks and ilrex. usual suspects!!#missandei’s is partially based on a shebsart art I think#okay that’s p much everything#trying out id in caption since I saw smthg abt those being more reliable than alt descriptions??? lmk what ppl think!#I hope this conveys to everyone that Jhiqui IS WEARING DOTHRAKI FASHIONS. she’s just doing fancy princess city style dothraki fashion.#vs irri’s more horse girl style.#this is NOT a guide for agot irri or jhiqui!!!#adwd#okay does anyone remember if slavers bay uses clay tablets papyrus parchment or paper bc I did not. help.#@ grrm YOU COULD AT *LEAST* COLOR CODE THEM. ITS NOT HARD.
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Someone get this man a younger sibling that ISNT like. Twice his height.
#one piece#op fanart#monkey d. luffy#shirahoshi#kozuki momonosuke#IVE FINISHED REREADING THROUGH WANO IM OBSESSED WITH MOMONOSUKE NOW#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I MISS HIM SO MUCH T - T!!!!#literally tears streaming down my face ‘But I think of you like a little brother!#You’ve heard of laser beam that make you read one piece#get ready for laser beam that makes you REREAD one piece#srsly. do it. I didn’t care about characters like bellamy or shirahoshi or even momonosuke all that much on my first read through#IM OBSESSED NOW. I LOVE HARUDJIN THE GIANT TOO AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE MORE OF HIM T - T!!! I ALSO DIDNT CARE ABOUT KATAKURI LIKE AT ALL#NOW I CANT GET ENOUGH#also what the actual heck guys. I know its only been a couple of months since wano ended.#but why aren’t there any fics centred on luffy and momo being brothers… There’s like one on ao3 and it’s in italian…#PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY SLEEPING SO HARD ON LUFFY BEING THE OLDER BROTHER/MENTOR TO BOTH MOMO AND SHIRAHOSHI#IM SO MAD#SHIRAHOSHI AND MOMO ARE BOTH THE CHOSEN ONES ; - ;!!! AND LUFFY HAS BEEN PROHPESIZED TO HELP GUIDE THEM TO USE THEIR POWERS!!!#eg shirahoshi hearing the voices of the sea kings and momo hearing zunesha#both times luffy hasn’t been able to talk to them… but he’s been able to guide his younger siblings to use their powers properly#No im fr obsessed with luffy and shirahoshi and momo WHERE THE GOD DAMN FANFICTION AAAGFRGEHSHHSHSHS#LUFFY TREATING SHIRAHOSHI AND MOMO THE SAME WAY ACE TREATED HIM WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER T - T#KILL ME AAAAA1!!1!1!1!!1!1!1#99 percent of all tags on my posts are just me freaking out LMAOOOO
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Made a bunch of RadioApple collages from screenshots of the show
I stare at them while I write cuz it helps. If anyone wants to use them as drawing references or pictures to stare at while they write too, go ahead!
I just figured they're pretty handy for me, so they mighty be handy for someone else too ^.^
#looking at them while I write helps me keep the characters grounded#it reminds me to go back to the source material if I'm ever stuck LOL#also I just like looking at them#hope you guys will find them useful too#i think im also going to use them as drawing reference#speaking of I am working on a Husk drawing guide right now#hopefully it'll be out soon#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin alastor#appleradio#hazbin hotel alastor#the radio demon#lucifer morningstar#lucifer magne#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin lucifer#lucifer morningstar fanart#lucifer hazbin hotel#collages#drawing references#drawing guides
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#How to Construct a Woolly Mammoth Skeleton in the Privacy of Your Own Museum of Natural History#tips#tricks#life hacks#helpful hints#advice#museum#woolly mammoth#skeleton#my cousin Hector (8) is pretty good at drawing big animals#so I bet he would be really great at drawing a woolly mammoth skeleton#you could use that as a guide when putting together your skeleton or whatever#just saying#you know#keep it in the back of your mind
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How to buy K merch in the Year 2024
I got several asks about this so rather than do each individually, I’ve decided to just make one big How to Buy K Merch in the Year 2024 post. I’m going to skip over the more obvious western sites like eBay and focus more on Japanese sites here. Because there hasn’t been much new K merch in some time keep in mind that most of what you will be looking for is secondhand, which means availability will vary.
Shopping Services
For some of these sites you will need a shopping service, so we’ll start there. This is by no means a comprehensive list of available shopping services, just ones I’ve used and liked.
FromJapan - This one is very straightforward — copy and paste the url of the item you want into their search bar. For anything in certain sites like Rakuten this will pull up a page that will give you the item and its price in your currency and you can just click add to cart. For other sites you may need to request a price quote, there’s a small form to fill out and they’ll get back to you on if they can order it. Timing depends on when you make the request. The nice thing about FromJapan is they will hold items for you for 45 days, so you can collect multiple purchases from multiple sites over time and have them all shipped at once. The bad side is that after 45 days they will discard your items, so keep an eye on when your oldest item arrived (you can see how long it’s been at their warehouse on your account page, and they will email you as the deadline gets close too).
Treasure Japan - Treasure Japan is a much smaller service than the others on this list but also the one I’ve used the longest. Being a smaller service means they tend to be more able to purchase items that might have seller restrictions, particularly from places like Mercari. Some listings when pasted into other shopping service sites will have a ‘cannot purchase from this seller’ warning, because some sellers don’t want to deal with shopping services. I haven’t had much trouble with this merchandise-wise, but when I’ve run into it with j-fashion Treasure Japan has been able to order when the bigger services couldn’t. Their site is set up so you will input different sites in different sections, there’s one for auction, one for ‘flea market’ (this will be places like Mercari) and one for shopping sites.
Buyee/Tenso - Buyee is a shopping service, Tenso is a forwarding service. They’re owned by the same parent company but are separate sites and you’ll need a separate account for each. Buyee is directly integrated with some sites like Mercari and Yahoo Japan, you can put in the url into their search bar and get a listing that you can buy immediately. Like FromJapan, any sites outside of the ones they’re integrated into will require you to request a quote (I found this more difficult with Buyee than FromJapan, personally) and they will sometimes be unable to purchase items. They will hold your items for 30 days at no charge, and you can request to consolidate packages for shipping.
Tenso, as I said above, is a forwarding service and somewhat more complicated. Basically when you sign up they will give you a Japanese address (presumably one of their warehouses) and you can then buy directly from Japanese websites, inputting the address you were given in the address field and paying with your own credit card. The items will be shipped to Tenso and from there you can have them sent to you. Obviously this is more complicated than a shopping service. I’ve used it mainly for things that didn’t involve an item being shipped (this is how I signed up for Fan Clan back in the day, for example, though my lottery goods were sent via Tenso too) or sites that require you to sign up to purchase from. I wouldn’t recommend it for any marketplace type site unless you’re fluent in Japanese, since sellers on those sites may try to communicate with you.
Stores
AmiAmi (no shopping service needed) - AmiAmi is mainly for new goods but I’ll mention it here anyway, in case K ever gets more merch. AmiAmi usually sells out on preorders, you place your order and they will let you know when the item arrives. You pay at that time. They do sometimes get used merch though so you can keep an eye out there, sometimes there will be decent deals on items that only have small flaws like the box being damaged.
Amazon Japan (may or may not need a shopping service) - Did you know overseas people can buy from Amazon Japan? You do now! You will need to make a new account, even if you have an Amazon account in your country. Whether you need a shopping service or not depends on the item. Anything sold directly by the company will likely not need a shopping service — the majority of my K manga and the stage plays were all bought directly from here, and when I was supplying raws for Countdown and LSW I was buying the magazines from here as well (I’ve also used it for Pokémon plushies and sewing books). If the item is being sold by a third party seller though you will likely need a shopping service. The site will tell you when you try to check out.
Surugaya EN (no shopping service required)/ Surugaya JP (shopping service required) - This is a secondhand shop and a great place to find merch. The main difference between the English site and the Japanese one is that the Japanese site has a larger selection (particularly doujinshi, and even more particularly spicy doujinshi). The English site periodically has free shipping sales so keep an eye out. Surugaya also has physical stores and will sometimes share merch between the store and the site so keep that in mind too, I have had items canceled before because they sold out in store and the listing hadn’t been updated yet.
Mandarake (no shopping service needed) - Another secondhand shop similar to Surugaya. I have not actually purchased from them myself and am not fond of their interface but I know people who have bought things from here. Like Surugaya they share stock with physical stores so something you want can sell out even after you’ve purchased.
Lashinbang (shoppng service required) - More secondhand shops. Lashinbang is rather small though so they don't always have much stuff, at least not for K.
CDJapan (no shopping service needed) - This is also better for new merch than secondhand but still worth a mention. I’ve found their prices tend to be worse than a lot of other stores though, this is more of a last resort for me.
Otaku Republic/Goods Republic (no shopping service needed) - Otaku sells doujinshi, Goods sells merch. The main draw is that these two are easy to search if you’re uncomfortable dealing with Japanese sites. I haven’t used them in quite a while but when I was buying from them they would send me free gifts with every purchase (my S4 cup came from them, as well as a bunch of clear file folders that I didn’t take pictures of because they’re being used as sewing pattern storage right now). The main downside is that while shipping is free over $50 they massively mark up the base prices to make up for it. I eventually stopped using this site because the shopping service was cheaper even with shipping and fees, you are paying for convenience. A lot of their ‘inventory’ is just listings from other sites including Surugaya, so check there first.
GoraShop (shopping service required) - This is Gora’s direct bookshop! They only have the season novelizations and Idol K books right now, as well as some Ayaka stuff.
Kinkurido (shopping service required) - This is the King Amusement Creative shop. All Memories was sold through this shop but is currently sold out, if they ever restock Gora will likely announce it on their Twitter. They do have some other small K goods available, including some CDs and artbooks (and Sarumi body pillows).
Marketplaces
Mercari Japan (Shopping service needed) - If you’ve ever used the English version of Mercari, here it is again but Japanese edition. You can find a lot of good used pieces here but prices are set by the individual seller so be wary of overpaying the first thing you find. Be sure to use a translator to look at the description in case you're buying a damaged item. Sometimes shopping services can try to negotiate the prices if you ask.
Yahoo Japan Auctions (shopping service needed) - Similarly as above, if you’re familiar with eBay this is fundamentally the same thing. Some shopping services will allow you to place last minute ‘sniper’ bids, and most will let you set a maximum bid and keep bidding on your behalf until that max is reached.
Shopping tips and things to know
The good news about buying from Japan right now: the yen is weak, so you can get deals! In the US, anyway. This may depend on your country so if you’re unsure on the exchange rate you can google “[your country’s currency] to yen exchange rate” and it should give you an approximate.
The bad news: shipping is killer. Keep that in mind, especially if you’re buying heavy items like bags or shoes (yes, K has those, there are several SuperGroupies collabs. If you want a S4 purse or Yata Misaki shoes keep in mind you will probably be paying through the nose for shipping). For the European types, you may have additional taxes too so be aware of your country’s import laws. Ditto when it comes to customs. For my fellow Americans, I have never had a customs issue even when buying fairly pricey dresses so you’re probably okay on that end but I can’t speak for other countries.
Character tax is real. Basically, more popular characters will likely have more expensive merch because there’s more demand — for example, Fushimi and Yata merch tends to be more expensive than, say, Silvers merch. Keychains and pins are usually cheaper than larger items like figures and standees either way though.
Most of the Japanese sites will need to be searched in Japanese. For character names, I suggest going to the K wiki and grabbing your favorite character’s name in kanji and using that to search. For pairings, while marketplace sites like Mercari may have listings under the pairing name sites like Suruga will use the two individual character names so you’ll want to search under that. If your browser doesn’t have an add on to translate that’s very helpful to grab in order to make your experience easier. For K itself, in general this is really the downside of having a favorite series with a one letter title. However, using ‘Missing Kings,’ ‘Return of Kings’ or ‘Seven Stories��� can be helpful here but will likely mostly turn up merch made for that specific season/movie.
If you want to look up something specific like a plush but don't know the Japanese word for it, Jisho can be helpful. Look up the kanji for the word you want and then copy-paste into your search. The downside is sometimes there are multiple words for the same thing or a word may be in kanji but people use the hiragana more often and you won't know, but it should get you on the right path to start.
On buying spicier goods: most shopping services have it in their terms that they will not buy adult items. In practice, however, this depends. I've had FromJapan refuse to buy perfectly tame G-rated doujinshi. Treasure Japan has in their terms that they won't ship adult items but like 70% of my doujinshi collection was purchased through them, with an R18 Sarumi book purchased as recently as last year. I've heard Buyee also states that they won't ship adult items but it's hit or miss if they turn down your order, and if you buy directly using Tenso they likely won't even open your package. Keep your country's laws regarding importing in mind, especially if you think customs might be likely to poke around in your package. Don't get in legal trouble just for spicy drawings.
Buying secondhand is a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes it takes a while for what you want to show up, so just keep looking! When I was collecting my nui set I literally bookmarked the search for “K ぬい” (nui) on Mercari and checked every day or so, which may be more obsessive than you want but it does get the job done (I was molded in the merch search mines of trying to find lolita dresses that haven’t been sold for 10 years, so I’m used to this kind of thing). If you keep looking you may even find things you didn't know you needed, like this Sarumi bedsheet I forgot to add into my collection post.
Happy hunting!
#k project#Talking K#helpful guides#there are other stores I may have forgotten but this is most of what I use#if anyone has alternate sites feel free to put those in the comments#the good news is since K is less popular now the merch tends to be cheaper but the bad news is it's harder to find#you just have to keep looking#I can't believe I forgot my Sarumi bedsheet#it's because this is an older picture I'm not using it right now
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A “Guide” to working with Artists with Aphantasia
DISCLAIMER:
I KNOW ARTISTS WITHOUT APHANTASIA ALSO USE REFERENCES
This is not going to be applicable to ALL artists (with OR WITHOUT aphantasia)
I don’t speak for everyone!!!
PLEASE Read the information artists provide you THUROUGHLY
ASK ARTISTS WHAT KIND OF INFORMATION THEY NEED
I’m sorry about the typos I am dyslexic and no one is beta reading this :3c
HERE IS THE OG TWITTER POST
I made this guide out of frustration. I was having a hard time communicating with commissioners how much visual information I needed, and that giving me creative freedom doesn’t, personally, work for me. It all comes down to the why; Aphantasia.
... I realized a lot of people don’t understand what that is, and how it might affect an artist.
Note: I am a character artist!!! I do personal commissions!!!! I don’t do commercial work!! This guide is about things that I have found extremely helpful!! This may not work for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!
So, here is the official written guide to what I, personally, have found helpful when getting commissions:
A healthy dose of both written and visual information is needed, but the percentage of which heavily depends on the type of commission and how familiar I am with the characters.
- Is it an illustration of a scene between two character? Descriptive information on the scene, the emotions, general vibe, dialogue are more important to the composition - but visual references on each character (and their characteristics), the space, the palette, and any objects would be needed.
- Is it a reference sheet commission? Descriptive information is no longer as important, and the main focus is on the visuals. Descriptive information would be limited to a brief description of personality, placement of certain markings, and/or the written information on the reference. Visuals would be EVERYTHING - every single aspect of that character would need a reference.
Google Docs, Google Drives, PDFs, Character pages (Toyhou.se or Refsheet.net) is an easy way to compile both written and visual information in one place!
What is some good visual information to compile for your characters?
Physical
Age/Race/height/body type
Skin colour/ scars/ freckles/ skin conditions etc
Eye colour/shape
Nose shape
Hair colour/texture/style/decorations
Any additional details (prosthetics limbs/no limbs!/tattoos/piercings/wings)
Face Claims are extremely helpful - and it’s okay to have more than one! It’s good to specify which parts of what reference are important to your character
Items
Clothing/Jewelry/Accessories
Weapons
Personal Items
Companions
Here is an example of how I organize my Pinterest boards for my own Ocs:
Appearance: Every single visual reference I would need for their physical appearance. Faceclaims, hair styles/texture/colours, facial hair, body types, hand shapes, nose shapes, lip shapes, eye shapes
Aesthetic: Helpful for illustrations. Palettes and aesthetics that I attribute to these characters. Art styles, symbols, colours, settings, etc...
Outfits: Outfits and accessories. Full outfits or single items, textures, colours, patterns.
NOTE: It’s important to remember that some artists can only work with certain references (ie. drawn references vs photo references). If you’re unsure/your artists hasn’t stated which works best for them - ask!
I cannot work with drawn references in simplistic styles (anime specifically), and I struggle with using nothing but Final Fantasy screenshots. They’re important when it comes to providing colour or even outfit references - but facial features are much harder for me to translate.
Some artists are okay with things like piccrews and can translate them very well! I can’t.
What is some good visual information to compile for your characters?
Written information can vary from commission to commission; unless the illustration is based off a story, I don’t need a novel to be written about the piece.
Being dyslexic also makes it a struggle for me to parse through written information - I tend to have to break it down outside of the initial commission submission to fully understand what. I also tend to ask a ton more questions when I’m provided more written information than visual - revisions take time and energy.
It’s important to have visual to accompany your written info;
( shout out to @moki-dokie for letting me use their info as an example!! )
Commission information examples
DESIGN COMMISSIONS:
Info given:
Outcome:
Easiest character design commission I have ever done. The information given was so concise that the only revisions were my own suggestions on the design itself.
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Info Given:
Outcome:
a TON of written information was given to explain the characters backstory, to further drive my understand of the aesthetic and setting of the world the character lives in. The pinterest board provided had a lot physical references, outfits, aesthetics, and colours.
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ILLUSTRATION COMMISSIONS:
Info Given:
Outcome:
I had a lot of previous information on both of these characters (I designed the top one myself), but I was provided limited written information for this; Holiday Discord call where Toad (character one) is getting a present from Zalem (character two). Zalem is barely hiding how they feel about Toad who is excited.
All other information provided was visual; Outfits and room aesthetics.
We discussed poses in Dms and collaboratively found references.
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Info Given:
Outcome:
Absolute favorite example of the PERFECT amount of information given and the PERFECT amount of creative freedom given.
I was handed character references with all angles as well as their armor + how to simply the armor. Pose + expression references. A general aesthetic + palette to work with. The setting. A doodle to lay out exactly what they were visualizing.
I have all the information you could need! Now what?
I am very privileged to no longer need to take first come first serve commissions, and it’s given me the ability to really sit back and filter through the commissions that I want to do, and those that I immediately do not consider.
I think it’s important that, before commissioning anyone, you should ask yourself a couple important questions:
Does this artist’s style suit what I want?
Does my character suit what this artist usually draws?
Do the references I have provide the right amount of information for the specific artist I want to commission?
Sometimes the answer to these questions are; No.
... and that’s okay?
Unfortunately, not every artist is going to be able to bring your vision to life, or feel happy with the completed piece!
If you’re someone who has Big Buff Demon Men characters that are drawn in a heavily realistic style - you might not ask an artist who draws smaller, softer characters with squishier shapes and a general aesthetic that doesn’t match your Ocs!
If you’re someone who has characters and all of their references are in an anime style (including other commissioned work), and you have no realistic face claims... maybe commissioning that semi-realistic artist and not providing them with the references the need to translate your character into a semi-realistic style isn’t a good idea?
I don’t understand when some people get upset when they commission an artist who clearly doesn’t draw characters that look like theirs and they clearly... don’t translate them as well. I am making this extremely clear RIGHT NOW before anyone says anything: Everyone can and SHOULD learn to draw the entire spectrum of humanity. From facial features, hair textures, body types, etc...
But some artists struggle to draw characters with certain aesthetics? Outfits? Accessories? You wouldn’t expect an artist who draws soft pastel art to suddenly translate your extremely rough, hard, and hot character properly?
Now, if all the answers are Yes?
Read all information provided thoroughly
Ask questions for clarity
Provide what you can, collaborate on what you can’t
Resources
@anonbeadraws post: Reference sheet for your commission references!
JAMIErightmeow’s video: I have APHANTASIA
Aphantasia Dot Com
#my art#artists on tumblr#guide#aphantasia#artist with aphantasia#UH#damn i wasnt gonna write this much lmao#I hope this helps people#its helped a ton of people on twitter already#UH ANYWAY#if youre about to comment some shit like oOoOigiOIgioOIoI#IT HELPS PPL WHO DONT HAVE APHANTASIA TOO#shut up#please#i know#i am AWARE#THIS is for MY HOMIES#but also use this as a resource if you need it???#kiss kiss kiss kiss
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S5 opener REAL
#byler#will byers#stranger things#every season besides s4-5 opens with non main characters#for el we got a flashback of the lab followed by her perspective in the scene directly after#and I think for Will we will see something similar#with us getting the flashback of him in castle byers in the UD#followed by him in the present in the scene after#but what exactly would warrant that memory being brought up in association with Will in the present?#mayhaps his connection to the mindflayer and the UD run deeper than we realize…#it’s likely not something he could just rid himself of in s2 and now he’s all good#he literally still feels a connection to everything he is feeling#that means he is still technically at risk of being the spy in some capacity#the massacre at Hawkins lab also was a guiding force for El discovering the ‘truth’ in s4#so it’s likely for Will this instance will operate in a way that re-contextualizes the events in the past up to now#like that time Will suggested they go to the hospital in s3 only for the flayed to be waiting for them#or how flayed Billy knew they were at the cabin…#all while Will was looking cryptic as hell in that scene watching over el#or the fact that he picked Billy in the first place the season after he focused on Will…#you know.. williams#I think the easiest way to introduce the castle Byers flashback is a dream honestly#specifically a dream within a dream#seeing that recent leak and Will looking like either he has a black or hasn’t slept in days#is giving very much ‘I am afraid to sleep bc I’m scared of what will happen’#I think dude is not exactly possessed in the sense that we already saw in s2 with like the particicles#but he’s still vulnerable#the door is still ajar…#no but fr this idea of opening a door in your mind was so blatant in st2 AND s3b of teen wolf#I think a big part of it will be guilting Will over the fact that Will has helped him before without Will telling the others#hence his weird vibe in s3… like he’s already successfully fucked with Will post s2 potentially with us being none the wiser aka here we go
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i was very surprised at how difficult it was to find (good) resources for learners that accurately describe how 部首 (in English we translate this to be the "radical") work in 漢字 (kanji). i pulled these from a very comprehensive guide of kanji from おじゃちゃん, a native speaker who is also a language teacher and if youre interested in learning more, you should check out her full overview here.
to a beginner this might not be as useful - but when you get deep enough into japanese i think it's worth it to understand how kanji is actually used by native speakers. understanding how the radical works can also help you guess at meanings and recognize common patterns that may make memorizing kanji easier
#mocha speaks#japanese langblr#learning japanese#japanese kanji#typically most english-speaker-centric guides describe the radical as 'building blocks' of kanji#which makes sense as a memorization tool#however if you ever went far enough in your studies you might need to unlearn all of that - the radical is actually a classification system#i'll stop there at the risk of going on a tangent in the tags#but yeah being aware of what it is at least could be helpful down the road#especially if you want to start using native resources. bc they use the radical much more differently than a learner might be used to
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Portrait of Madame X (but now Himeko Murata)
#i could never forget the mole#i took an art class once and it was horrible#the teacher kept telling me good job and i was actually begging for help#but youre doing so well already NO!!! NOOOO!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!! HELP!!!! ME!!!! HELP ME!!!!#as you can probably tell from my blog im not very good with colors#let me tell you something else. not only do i struggle with color. im actually afraid. too afraid to try#dawg that teacher...i told her all this and i was like please. just guide me. tell me something. tell me something to practice.#like how do i get used to it? how do i try?#bro said youre good enough already.#so i got irritated and gave up trying to learn in that class#anyways.#himeko murata#himeko#honkai impact 3rd#honkai star rail#it could be either woman#himeko guns girl z#himeko houkai gakuen 2#could be any of the three actually#ive never played flyme2themoon or zombiegal kawaii. i should try to find them and play#i stopped playing hg2 recently bc my [insert language] is so bad it turns out i misunderstood the story so i rage quit#ill be back tho.mama didnt raise no QUITTER
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Trigun Maximum Chugai Grace Cafe Collaboration - I Translated the Website :3
Hi I saw someone on twt wanting this to be translated and that's literally all it takes to get me moving anymore so!
Anyways I translated all the food and drinks, I found the references they chose really cute except for the evil one lmao and I also included the unbelievably small print drink ingredients if you wanna try mixing them yourself!! 🫶
Also also, if you know how to use a proxy, there is actually some stuff here that overseas fans can get our hands on!! Under the cut to keep the dash clean!! Hope it helps!!!!!
Edit my dumbass forgot the original announcement link sjshsk IT’S HERE!!!
So, the menu
Going from left to right we've got
"Battle Sausage Spaghetti"
"As Many Salmon Sandwiches You Want"
"Love&Peace Donuts"
"Banana Sundae"
and on the bottom row
"The Perfect Meal Plate: Vash's Handmade Fried Rice and Salad" ((´༎ຶོω༎ຶོ`) o k )
"Particularly Wonderful Udon"
"Mille-feuille with Ceylon Tea" (i believe the first part specifies gateau mille-feuille but I went to episode one and checked the subs for what they had her say officially and they left the gateau off so I did too)
"Latte with a random character art"
Character Drinks!!!
The Bride Soda, which comes with a double-sided postcard of the sworn friends (very common nickname for Vash and Wolfwood in JP fandom and ig official uses it too)
So the soda is their proprietary thing, it doesn't say what flavor it is or if it has one, but the shotglasses come with a little bit of smoked oak syrup and black ceylon tea and you're meant to fill the rest of the glass with soda and drink it that way. And then the rest of the text is just information and disclaimers for customers that plan on taking the bottle home (I guess it breaks really easily that’s So. lmao).
Vash's Drink <3
strawberry syrup
carbonated water and lemon juice
yellow candied cherries (drained cherries) and ice
Wolfwood's Drink
crushed coffee jelly and cafe ice (ice made and flavored with concentrated coffee and fruit juice)
brewed iced coffee and gum syrup
blue curaçao syrup and carbonated water
experimental ampules filled with blue soda
the cigarette is full of light brown sugar you're meant to mix in before drinking
Knives's Drink
apple juice and round sliced apples
mint and ice (it looks like mint leaves but full disclosure they have blurred that kanji to all hell I have no idea)
Legato's Drink
blue curaçao syrup
grapefruit juice
carbonated water and a mint cherry
a lemon and ice
Collab Merch
(Overseas pay attention here!!!!!! ChugaiOnline is opening these to online orders so we can get them with a proxy, I'll leave their link at the end of this section!!!!!!)
I've also listed all the prices in yen here so you can convert them to your currency, and all of these are the prices including the listed Japanese sales tax. If you want to see the price without it, it’s just the other number on the image!
So they've got
Two way acrylic figure stands (the main stand comes with a ball chain, you can reference these on Amiami for what this kind of product looks like I'm prettyyyyy sure like they're called different but it looks like they go together the same way). Anyways this is a set of 6 and 1650 yen each, it looks like you get to choose which one you want but they don't have a deal listed for getting all of them.
Next to it are the buttons (also called can badges idk which one is more common over here), set of 12 (6 are regular and 6 are glittery variety). They are 550 yen per button AT RANDOM, THEY WILL GIVE YOU A RANDOM ONE, or a box with one of each all 12 for 6600 yen.
Below that is the polaroid collection, it's also a 12 piece set and you can get A RANDOM ONE, THEY DO NOT LET YOU PICK for 330 yen each or a box with all of them for 3960 yen.
The same exact deal with the plastic (like a vinyl material) postcards underneath, they're double-sided and come one for 660 yen each at random or the whole set for 7920 yen.
The calendar is for 2025 and is 1980 yen probably obvious but y'know
I would be so shocked if a proxy actually let you ship the Kuroneko sama cookie discs lmao but hey wtf they're 1080 yen.
The Bride soda is listed here because this is the same merch that will be sold in the shop but they specify elsewhere that it's not available for online order even in Japan you have to go to the cafe ;-;
Also this is just personal experience but a lot of proxies will not let you get like blind or random stuff like the buttons they don't let you pick which one, some of them will only let you get it if you're getting the whole box.
Annnnnnd online order special gifts!!
For every 3000 yen spent in merch (including tax) you will get a random postcard from this set!! There are 15 to collect, they are NOT divided into halves of the event, you can get any of them at any time or all at once!! However, you can't combine orders made at different times/by different people to get more and if they run out that's it. Altho fwiw I have never seen an event run out of these lol
The online order period will be from Friday, May 24th at 11 am to Sunday, June 16th at 11:59 pm (both JST) and items will begin to arrive (within Japan, proxies will have to handle our own shipping ofc) from August 2024 on a first ordered first shipped basis.
CHUGAIONLINE STORE (JAPAN)
Ok, this last bit is relevant to the in-person cafe experience so it's just for if you're curious about other cool things going on or you have a hobby of watching JP mercari like a hawk and wanna know what to expect!
Guests who reserve places at the cafe online will get copies of some of Nightow sensei's most prized sketch pages, they'll get 3 random ones! Like with the special gift postcards, there are a limited amount and this event will end when they're all gone.
And these are the coasters, guests will get one with every item they order off the food or drink menu at random (while supplies last)! The variety you can get is split between the former and latter halves of the event so there's something new to come back for even if you've already been once! (The first 12 days is on top and the last 12 days is on bottom)
They're also doing a wallscroll campaign!
They'll have these decorating the venue, and when the event is over a raffle will be held where the winners get to pick out a scroll of their choice!
OK I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING RELEVANT HAPPY TRIGUN MANGA CAFE EVENT!!!!!
#trigun#trigun maximum#english translation#chugai has honestly been so fucking good to us yknow theyre the ones responsible for the mochi plushies and nendroids too??#yeah i genuinely hope you guys use this as a guide to make them make a billion dollars this is now a mutually beneficial trigun relationshi#i hope that person on twitter finds this anyways sdflkj#leaving in the tags but yall know this is a very small blog so. its not in my requests but if any of you ever need help finding something o#or help with a proxy genuinely just hmu i gotchu#ok goodnight
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use ask meme replies as starters. if starter calls stress you out, encourage your followers to send memes instead! that way you can pick and choose which meme suits you best, searching for the little sentence prompt in your inbox that most inspires you in the moment. at the same time, not every ask meme reply needs to be continued. sometimes they make better one-shots and drabbles, and that's okay! as long as you and your writing partners are having fun creating and telling stories together, that's all that matters!
#rp psa#roleplay psa#rpc psa#rpc help#in my Wise Old Opinion as an rpc veteran from 2012#using ask memes as starters is SO much easier#than putting out a sc and having to come up with new scenarios each time#memes help guide the story#use them!!!#BUT ALSO!!! MY GOD!!!#if someone just wants to use them as drabbles? let them#let these ask meme replies exist separately IF YOU WANT#maybe they don't nEED to be continued#maybe they're just a little glimpse into your characters' dynamics#AND THAT'S OKAY#don't guilt people for not replying to ask meme replies#like let them do what they want :) thank YOU
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We need a Total Drama character who gets really upset when the other contestants swear, but their idea of swearing is so muddled down that they get mad when people say things like "shoot" or "dang it" or "duh"
#based off an actual parent's guide review I saw of a kid's help video that got mad they used 'duh' in the title#if you would like to see the review just ask I'll post it it separately because it baffles me#total drama#total drama island
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The Name of The Game
The (Un)Official Guide to Hero-Keeping | Cont'd from Part 8
Content: mentioned past attempted noncon, hysterical whumpee/nervous breakdown (seriously yall, it gets bad), disabled whumpee, trans whumpee, tied up/handcuffs, noncon unshirtening, past captivity references
* * * * * * * *
Excerpt from: The (Un)Official Guide to Hero-Keeping; a self-help guide for villains and bounty-hunters
[While following this guide, as well as generally while playing the wonderful game that is villainy, you will find that the advice can rarely be fitted to every specific scenario. But one piece of advice is universal: If you value your freedom, your loved ones, and your life, you must never reveal your secret identity to your captured hero. As soon as you do, there is no more facade. Villainy is no longer a game. It is your life. And heroes will not hesitate to destroy your life if it means they can win the game.
If a hero (or ANY untrusted party) ever happens upon your secret identity, it is your responsibility, as a villain and as a human being, to accept the end of your life as you know it…
Or to ensure that the hero can never tell another living soul.]
* * * * * * * *
“See you soon?” Deeby repeated Sweater-vest’s last words incredulously. “See you soon?! Christ, and you know he knows– god, he just needs to stop being such un pendejo and shut the hell up, stop making everything about his goddamn god complex and shoving it en las caras de todos–”
The sudden anger from the usually cool and smug Deeby did not help the apparent panic attack seeping ever so quickly into Stan’s consciousness, especially with said seething bounty hunter circling around the room like an angry shark as he muttered to himself and gesticulated wildly.
Stan cowered to hide his shirtlessness from said angry shark. His chest and limbs started to buzz from all the excess oxygen entering his system as he took in heavy breaths, his head spinning, dizzy, hurting, every muscle clenching.
“--y quién se cree ese cabrón para venir a joderme MI TRABAJO?”
He was so angry. So loud, talking so fast, and what the hell was he even saying?! It was too much, too much.
“Y la puta Lana no puede ni aparecer para decirme que me está jodiendo la vida OTRA VEZ porque es lo único que le encanta hacer, joderme TODO lo que–”
Stop it stop it stay calm stay calm please not now please please please not now you can’t show weakness like this in front of your kidnapper you can’t stop it STOP IT–
He took in an involuntary loud heaving breath. Then fell into a stuttering slew of smaller breaths as he tried to keep quiet, and Deeby finally took notice of the state of his captive.
Stan squeaked and pulled the jacket around himself tighter. He was small, he was silent, he was invisible.
Then he gasped in another desperate heaving breath with an involuntary cry of panic when he suddenly ran out of air. He’d stopped breathing entirely with all his efforts.
“Stan? Qué es–... Ah, you good?”
Stan nodded quickly, shaking. “F-fine, fine.”
Deeby raised an eyebrow at him. “Don’t lie to me. What is this, you having a panic attack?”
He couldn’t get his eyes to focus, but he shook his head fervently. Then reeled as it made the dizziness and headache so much worse.
“Stan, talk to me, chiquito. If he actually did something to you, tell me. I need a good reason to kill him, you’d be helping me out a lot.”
He didn't actually even hurt me, did he?
“No–! I-I u-uh-uh yes-s-s, but– but–”
I don't WANT to ‘help you out’! I don't want to talk about it! ESPECIALLY not with you.
He let out a whine and failed to swallow the giant knot forming in his throat.
“Alright, is this about the shirt then? Or the uh, the chest thing? Is that why you went from colonizer white to ghost white when you thought I was gonna make you strip earlier?” He walked over to the tattered shirt and scooped it up. “Because if that's what got you, I can assure you I don’t give a single crap what you’ve–... got in your...”
Deeby trailed off as he held up the grey strips of fabric that used to be Stan's button-down.
And just stared.
Stan gawked at the unrecognizable shredded fabric hanging in the bounty hunter's hands. His breath caught in his throat. He hadn't realized how utterly destroyed his beloved shirt was. What was he supposed to wear now?
“That… Motherfucker…” Deeby muttered, almost as as aghast as Stan. “Christ, I knew he'd pull some grade-A bullshit, but this–”
“Y-you KNEW?!” Stan gasped out, surprising himself with the volume of his outburst. “You– You knew he was gonna– gonna try to...”
Deeby didn't look up from the tatters in his hands. “Yeah. He's predictable, if nothing else.”
Stan's entire body felt like it was full of angry bees. “You–... You left me-e alone with ‘im. On pu-urpose.”
“And everything turned out fine, you're fine. Look runt, we need to have a little talk about what–”
“NO!” Stan cried, ignoring the drop in his stomach when Deeby's eyes took on a slight challenging glint at the interruption. “No, don’t change the subject! You left me alone with him! You knew he was gonna try to– to rape me and you left me alone with him! Handcuffed, chained to the floor, powerless, immobile, beat up to hell and– a-and unable to defend myself and you-you left me alone with him!”
The floodgates were opening. The stifling sense of justice suffocating Stan from the inside out wouldn’t let the injustices go unsaid any longer, crashing through his body and just about ready to make him burst. Ironic, given the everything.
Deeby’s jaw set. “Stan. I wouldn’t have left that shit-for-brains alone with anyone if I didn’t have to.”
“Oh, but you– you had to?” Stan taunted, hoping the sarcasm came through in his voice even with the stuttering and heaving breaths. “What, Dee-deeby the great bounty hunter actually answers to someone? Enough to put the uh, the bounty in danger? Or are you just scared of him, wanted to get away?!”
Deeby snorted.
“Hell yeah, I'll do whatever if the buyer asks it,” he proclaimed. "And I'm not scared of that human cringe-fail. The day I'm scared of him is the day I'm dragged away screaming and turned into… well, you, basically. But I mean, that's when he's actually dangerous…"
He seemed to think on it for a moment. Then crouched down in front of Stan, smug grin replaced with something like the look a friend gives when they think you're about to ruin your life with a single dumb decision.
“Honesty, bud… I wouldn't be so tough around a guy like that if I were a guy like you. Best to just fuel his ego.”
Stan physically recoiled. “Don't tell me what–! Who-wh–…”
That insult sounded way too genuine. Since when was the mercenary genuine?
“Wait, wait, you'd…” Stan shook his head, trying to untangle his thoughts from the spaghetti of his mind. This concussion was killing him. He could barely think. “If you were… Who even was th-that?”
Another chuckle. “What, Tweedy? That was Vaughn. He said that earlier, though I applaud your ability to block him out. Wish I could do that.”
Then again, the hunter was most likely just trying to psych him out. Get him to behave again. Stan wouldn't fall for something like that.
“No, idiot, I mean–... I meant who is he? Why is he going to-to see me soon?… And– and for that matter, are you working together? Because it seems like you hate each other.”
Deeby let out a huff of air. “Look, bud, we need to talk about that phone call I had to take, the boss–”
“You're avoiding the question.”
“Well frankly, there's more important things to talk about,” Deeby dismissed quickly. “So I was talking with the boss-lady on the phone while you were–”
“I don’t care about what that Lana person has to say!” Stan said, slamming his hands on the floor for effect, a breath-stealing pang running through his ribs at the jostling. “Jus– Just tell me who you guys are, tell me why I’m here, tell me why I should be scared of ‘a guy like that’! Who ARE you?!”
Deeby narrowed his eyes slightly. “We need to talk about what's going to happen to you next. And you're gonna listen to that. Not yell demands at me like some asshole 6-year-old, because you already know I don't deal with all that ‘who am I, secret identity’ crap, so you're not getting those answers.”
Well actually, judging by the horrible sticky weight that slammed Stan in the gut when Deeby said that, he didn't want to know what horrors awaited him next. So next best thing? Keep being an asshole 6-year-old.
“Why?”
“Anonymity is the most valuable tool you can have in this game.” Deeby recited it like a script, exaggerating a monotone boredom. “Also I'm not an idiot, it's protocol that's saved me before, it helps me do my job without getting invested… take your pick.”
“You're not even wearing your mask any more!” Stan cried. “So much for secret identity!”
“I think what you're meaning to say is ‘thank you for rushing to save my damsel-in-distress ass from some twink with scissors when you heard me screaming for help even though you were dealing with a really important phone call from the worst person ever’. And you're very welcome. Now we need to talk about what I found out in that dumbass phone call and what it means for you.”
He always had an answer for everything, huh? Always another quip.
Stan's blood started to boil, and he may have actually, genuinely growled a little.
“S-so-so so what, you are scared of her, then? You're scared of her and that's why you left me with that monster?!” He tried, spitting back as much smug asshole-ness as Deeby had been throwing at him. “Is that why you hate them, you’re just their damn lackey doing whatever they tell you to do?! Just a puppet for them to guide around, running around capturing supers and serving them up on a silver platter like a good little servant?!”
Deeby stared at him, genuinely stunned by the sudden venom in the captive's words. His fists clenched by his side.
Hm. Stan may have gone too far.
“Look, McKellen,” Deeby spat as he took an authoritative step forward, voice slow, low and dark. “There are things at play here that you can’t know about–”
“Why not?!” Stan felt like he was losing it, voice creaky and high and hoarse. “Obviously I’m gonna be trapped here with you assholes for the rest of my short life until you kill me with some new form of torture experiment bullshit! Why not tell me everything?! Why not do whatever you want with me?! Just tell me! Please!!”
Stan glared desperately at the bounty hunter. He knew he wasn’t even just crossing the line at this point; he was sprinting over the line and stomping on it repeatedly in a panic-fueled frenzy, kicking at it and letting out his full fury as if the line itself had done this to him, as if absolutely decimating the line would somehow fix everything.
Way deep down, almost too far down to admit to himself, he almost hoped the mercenary would see through the insults and the fighting to see the pleading, hurt, scared man underneath. And then take pity. Just let him have this one thing, before he broke entirely.
But the bounty hunter glared right back at him.
“No.” He stated venomously. “Right now, you're going to shut up. And listen.”
As if Stan would ever listen to the orders of his kidnapper. Of a villain.
A small laugh, just a little chuckle, took root his chest. A disbelieving smile cracked across his face.
The absence of the signature unbothered grin, the absence of the mask, the deathly seriousness? Not to mention the gun, the knives, the chains, the handcuffs, the power suppressing collar, no cane or crutch or any viable mobility aid in sight, and beaten so hard multiple times that he probably couldn't run properly anyway even if he did have a knee that actually worked…
This really was hopeless, wasn't it?
He could rage against the dying of the light all he wanted. Scream and shout and cry and fight and say witty things to hide the excruciating, never-ending pain.
But the light would still die all the same.
He clutched Deeby's very own stupid cowboy-ass jacket around his shoulders. He couldn't even defend himself from getting his shirt ripped to shreds right off his body!
And this bitch–
“You– you don't think…” he had to pause to let out a barrage of inappropriate giggles, then shoved up shakily to his feet, back braced against the wall. “You don't still think I'm gonna– that, that I'm gonna escape, do you?!”
Deeby gave pause, eyeing Stan up and down. Really thinking about it. He took a deep breath. A low grumble emanated from the base of his throat.
“No. I don't.”
Stan laughed out again, full force this time. Desperate. Tearful.
“Then just–... just TELL ME!! IT DOESN'T MATTER!! IT DOESN'T!! IT'LL DIE WITH ME!!”
The mercenary's mouth pressed into a thin line. Was that confusion etched into his features? Or worry? Maybe anger…
“It does matter,” He growled through gritted teeth. “It's probably the most important thing you could know, who I am. Who we are.”
Stan let out a loud cry of anguish, screeching out every single frustration at the unfairness of the world, at this situation, at Deeby and Vaughn and whoever Lana was, at the collar and the chains and the cut and bruises and broken bones and his broken, useless knee into a single, guttural sound.
“WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME ANYTIN-GAH-AH!!”
Very, very suddenly, the lapels of Deeby's loosely draped jacket tightened around his body and slammed him back into the wall, the fleece-lined collar of the jacket twisting and pulling on the power-suppressing strap clamped around his neck, contracting it, choking him just as the slam forced all the breath out of his lungs.
Stan clawed back against the force, only managing to grasp at Deeby’s forearms uselessly as they twisted the jacket ever tighter around him. Pinning his arms. Trapping him. He had to heave in and out gasping breaths just to get enough air to breath through his half obstructed airways.
“Look at me, chiquito,” the bounty hunter snarled. “Look me in the eye!”
Stan's panicked eyes paused their sporadic dance around the room. They locked dead onto the mercenary's fiery gaze.
“Did you break your damn brain in the 3 minutes I was gone?” Deeby hissed into his ear. Stan almost screeched in terror. “I don't know what sort of fuckery your mind has been conjuring up that you can't get this very simple concept without going insane,” he jolted Stan and dragged out an involuntary whimper from his throat.
“But whatever it is, shut it down. Now. I'm gonna tell you the bare minimum of what you need to know, and you're gonna sit there and listen or else I won't tell you jack shit and knock you unconscious so I don't have to deal with your bullshit. Agreed?!”
“I– Ah, a-ah, I– No, I- I, no-no no No-o–”
He couldn't get his thoughts to line up properly. They swarmed around his head like locusts in a dust bowl, bouncing into each other, frenzied, an indecipherable cloud of fear and frustration that his horrible attempt at defiance, futile as it may have been, always just made everything worse.
He could never stop himself.
Angry tears rimmed at Stan's eyes. His body hurt. His brain pounded in his skull. His ribs cried out in protest as they pressed into the wall. The various bruises and their dull, throbbing aches, the cuts and bleeding wounds and their sharp, searing screeches, the sticky and caked on dried blood, so familiar now it was almost a second skin, Deeby's weight pinning him to the wall, so similar and yet so different to the way Vaughn had done the same.
No. No, no, no, no.
He squeezed his eyes shut, tears finally falling in hot, fat drops down his cheeks. The bounty hunter was so close, too close. Stan tried to pull away, and he just leaned on him harder, their faces barely inches apart.
“Agreed, chiquito?” The voice rumbled through his entire body, sending shivers up and down his spine.
No no no no no no no he needed to get away, get away now, please please that's all he needed he couldn't get away he couldn't even move his arms he could barely breathe–
“WHY DON'T YOU JUST RAPE ME ALREADY?!” Stan screamed into the endless cacophonous void.
And silence.
And the entire world went still.
Deeby’s mouth fell literally agape.
His grip on Stan loosened considerably. Not out of pity or any other considerate emotion. Just shock.
At least Stan could finally breathe again. Not that he took a single breath in the silence.
“I–...” Deeby finally choked out. “I-I beg you finest fucking what?!”
“Just fucking do it,” Stan hissed, gasping. “We both know you could. I couldn't even stop Vaughn, you think I could stop you?!”
The words spewed out of his mouth faster than he could stop them, like a volcano that had finally exploded its top off in a fiery glory. And the way Deeby looked at him, as if his features were having an all out war over shock, horror, or honestly very justified anger? Oh, that did nothing but fan the flames of Stan's sorrow-filed hysteria.
“Tall ass muscle-bound freak with an actual gun that captured me and beat me up again and again then left me to die?! I don't even know who you are! You can do whatever you want and I can't do jack shit to stop you! Just do it, hurt me, rape me, it doesn't matter! Vaughn knew that, you can too!” Stan attempted to shove the bounty hunter off, but he still didn't move.
“Please, please, I'm begging you, is that what you want?! I'll get on my knees!”
Stan collapsed against Deeby's hold, and to his surprise, Deeby finally let him. Well, not ‘let him,’ more like ‘recoiled and jumped back when he felt Stan collapsing in his grasp'.
All the same.
“Chiquito,” Deeby rasped. “I'm– not exactly sure what or why you're demanding, but I'm not going to–”
“Why not?! It doesn't matter!” Stan assured, holding his arms out to fully present himself now, shedding the jacket onto the floor behind him and taking a daring scoot forward. “I bet you just kicked Vaughn out because you wanted me all to yourself! I bet you just love seeing me scared and helpless and half naked in your stupid fucking yee-yee jacket–”
“Alright, Stan, enough!”
“AT LEAST VAUGHN had the decency to not pretend like he was a decent fucking person like you!” Stan yelled. “We both know you're not above it, fucking professional kidnapper and torturer! So just do it! Like Vaughn wanted to, like he tried to! Finish what he started, you have me all to yourself now! DO IT! DO IT I DARE–”
“The name's Declan.”
The statement was a whisper in the storm. Stan almost missed it. But the resolute certainty of the southern twang stopped him dead in his tracks.
“What–… What did you just–?”
It was astounding how quickly his voice had turned meek from the cacophony of chaos mere seconds before. Dark freckles stood out against an even starker white face than usual.
“It's Declan,” the mercenary stated once more. “My name. My name’s Declan. You wanted t’know who we are, who I am? Fine then, I'm Declan. Want the last name too?”
“I– wait–!”
“It's Cansano. Declan Cansano.”
Stan was shaking, a million thoughts crashing down upon him like a tidal wave. If he weren't already on his knees, surely he would have collapsed.
He hadn't actually… meant any of that. No. Had he? No. He couldn't have. He didn't want to know who the mercenary was. No, he didn't. He didn't, not really! He would never want that! Never!
“That’s not… Wh-why would you…?”
The bounty hunter shrugged. “You wanted to know who I am. You asked, you screamed, you insulted me and you went fuckin’ nuts over it.” His thunder-filled eyes betrayed his completely relaxed demeanor. “Declan Cansano. Don't forget‘t.”
“I just– That's not what– Wait, Deeby, you– Where are you going?!”
Deeby was already halfway to the door when he swiftly spun around, fists clenched and any trace of the easy demeanor vanished in those bright blood-stained eyes.
“I can't fuckin’ deal with you right now!”
Stan nearly launched himself back in fear, right back onto Deeby's stupid, soft jacket. He grasped it up as a barrier between him and the mercenary without even thinking. The mercenary's demeanor relaxed from absolutely terrifying to merely extremely angry at the sorry sight.
“I'm leaving for a bit.” He whipped around and grasped for the lapels of his jacket to yank it on, only for his grasp to come up empty. He whipped around a third time. “And I'll be expectin’ my coat back when I get back! You better've calmed the hell down by then, if you know what’s good for you.”
Wait, wait, he was leaving? No!
Stan tried to scramble after Deeby, but immediately fell to the agony of his knee and the length of his leash.
“Don't go, please!” he pleaded.
Deeby didn’t stop. “Why?”
What if you come back with more torture tools?
What if you don't come back at all?
I still have more questions for you.
You can't just leave me here, I'm hurt!
I shouldn't be alone right now. I can't. I'm scared of what will happen, I'm going insane.
Even you are better than no one at all.
“What– what if Vaughn comes back?!”
Deeby scoffed. “I'm not going that far, damn. Eat some protein bars while I'm gone so you don't die, should help with the insanity. Back soon.”
And the door to the room closed shut behind him, the click echoing off the walls in the sudden unbearable silence.
Stan collapsed to the floor, defeated.
He clutched the jacket closer.
Pulled it tight around his shoulders, fingernails leaving small crescent-shaped indents on the well-worn hide. The cotton lining was so surprisingly soft against his skin. Hell, he could smell the dirt and musk that permeated the jacket from years of use, the smal signs that this jacket had seen the capture of dozens of supers.
Declan.
Declan Cansano.
Professional Superhero-Hunter.
Stan screamed into the endless abyss around him.
And this time, Declan didn’t come back to save him.
* * * * * * * *
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Taglist: @flowersarefreetherapy | @pirefyrelight | @cakeinthevoid | @painsandconfusion | @books-are-everything | @paperprinxe | @lovethiswriting
#whump#heroes and villains#whump writing#whumper#whumpee#hero whump#defiant whumpee#kidnapping whump#captivity whump#trans whumpee#disabled whumpee#(un)official guide#mentioned noncon#tw nervous breakdown#GOD this one took SO LONG TO EDIT#AND WRITE#its basically unrecogniseable from its first draft bc i just kept having new ideas that fit the themes better#and changing it to help make it make sense#usually it wouldnt be this bad but i wrote it over like 3 serperate weeks in short bursts#so i didnt have any of the usual writing fervor in it at first and the pacing was FUCKED lol#I FINALLY GOT IT THO#its still not perfect but its pretty good and i CANNOT work on this any longer#ALL OF THIS was done on my phone btw. horrible time#would not reccomend#use a computer if you can#anyway ive been thinking about this specific scenario literally since before i started writing the actual story down#it was one of the main story beats#a changing of the tides#theres gonna be a lot of those pretty soon actually
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