#Is that nonsense? Of course. But that's why you can't base your views on that kind of language.

[cosmic-kiwi]

Incredibly strange post that implores people to constantly question their views and perspectives and look at all sides... as long as you ultimately always end up on the current liberal position on every issue ever. (?)

And then an addendum that seemingly agreed with the original theme of "keep an open mind" while adding on the idea that actually you should drop every one in your life that doesn't have the same opinions as you.

Hmm.

Also: "But you'd rather be tired and choose the right path, you know?"

As if there is only one distinct 'right path' that exists without regard to context or time or history or method?

The version of this post that has this add-on by crumbles-watchwoman (x) I think is the most useful version:

"There's no such thing as a good person

So you cannot be one. There are only beneficial, and non beneficial actions, and the people which they benefit. So, you will end up doing things which benefit the people you want to help, also things that do not benefit them, or benefit other people instead of them. None of these things can make you any more or less of a good person, because that is a false category. The only thing you can do is keep checking if the actions you are taking actually benefit the people you think they do, and have the courage to adjust accordingly no matter how sunk your costs."

I think everyone here who's overly concerned with being a ''good person'' would benefit from worrying a little bit less about themselves, and a little bit more about the veracity of things that they believe only because it gives them the warm fuzzies and a sense of superiority to do so.

It's very possible that the only way to ensure you don't become a conservative old person is to keep checking whether you're wrong. Every time. Genuinely mull over the opposing viewpoint even and especially when it's uncomfortable. You absolutely cannot a) consider yourself safely incapable of terrible principles because you're a good person, or b) treat a your disgust reaction to something as a moral truth. You can't get comfortable. Tiring! But you'd rather be tired and choose the right path, you know?

[nyarumie]

yahoo~ can i get a uh big m narumi shamelessly pining over the second division's vice captain? 🤤 like i think it would be funny to read narumi repeatedly asking reader to just transfer to the first during meetings so he'll be able to admire her better and at the same time he's like dissing jura everytime he does it would be funny i think

Summary: With the nation's safety at risk, joint trainings are expected across Divisions. Narumi Gen, as the Captain of the First Divison, aims to make his very own division grow in strength—only by pestering you, the Second Division's Vice Captain, to transfer to their Division, of course.

Author's Reply: We have very little info about Jura's personality (except her being kinda temperal, I think?) so it was a bit of a struggle writing her interactions with Narumi 😭

Author's Note: I'll be taking a short break from writing oneshots so I can continue writing my Brains to Brawn Narumi series—but requests are open! I'll get back to them after writing Chapter 3.

Requests and messages are welcome on my ask box! Please view my navigation too ♡ Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated.

For the third round of joint exercises, the Second Division is expected to host Officers from both the First and Third Division. As Jura Igarashi's second-in-command, you are tasked to oversee the training held in your base, taking into consideration the fighting styles honed by each participating division. That said, the meeting for the third round of joint exercises was supposed to start roughly 30 minutes ago, if it weren't for the commotion just outside the conference room.

"Let me in! I SAID LET ME IN! Do you not know who I am?!"

Everyone who can hear the commotion sighed, knowing all too well whose voice and antics it belonged to.

"S-sir, protocol says that only verified attendees have permission to enter—"

"Are you saying I'm not allowed inside?!? I'm the Captain of THE strongest Division, y'know! Hasegawa, my Vice Captain, is inside! It doesn't make sense that his Captain is off-limits here!!"

You looked at Hasegawa, who was seating across from you; raising your eyebrow as if to silently say, 'What are you gonna do with him?'

He only shook his head in defeat, knowing that Captain Narumi won't stop 'til he gets what he wants. Sighing, you stood up, deciding to deal with this yourself.

Narumi was still making a fuss by the time you opened the door, the two officers guarding it moving to the side to give you a proper salute. He was already on his knees, still muttering his pleas, unaware that you had stepped out to deal with him.

Sighing again, you knelt to meet his level. Waving your hand in front of him, you said, "...Captain, are you still there? If you have something you oh-so-desperately want to share in the conference, you're more than welcome to join us." albeit, against everyone's wishes.

His head snapped to meet your eyes so fast you thought it would detach from his neck. Looking at you with wide, bloodshot eyes, his mood significantly improved. Ah, is he seeing his savior, an angel sent from above?

"Under one condition, though," you continued, "Please don't make any ruckus inside. No gaming either. Speak only when you're permitted to by Captain Igarashi. Would that suffice?"

He nodded eagerly, no words forming in his mouth; he already thinks he's ascending to heaven just by seeing you. Or so he thought.

Aside from being denied the privilege to sit across you by Hasegawa, he can't stand hearing these people talk nonsense! He was expecting you to take charge of the meeting, why haven't you spoken a word?! His ears are at high alert every second that passes in case you speak—waiting and waiting to hear your voice once more. And why is Hoshina representing their division again?! He's starting to get agitated, leg bouncing impatiently and a finger continuously tapping the table, gradually getting louder.

Beside you is Captain Igarashi, who was slowly getting triggered by the noise. This didn't went unnoticed by you, of course, and she was already getting up to give Narumi an earful before you can even stop her.

"Oi, you're being a distraction! Stop doing that, you're not a kid!"

Naturally, the First Division Captain is triggered by this. "Are you calling me a kid, meathead?! You lashed out on me first, who's a kid now, huh?!? Sit your ass back down, you should be grateful to be graced by my presence!"

"And your presence is unwelcomed in our base! I'll report you for trespassing!"

"Oh yeah, oh yeah? I'll have your entire Division begging on my knees after hearing our very own proposal! Did'ya think I came here unprepared?!"

"My division, begging? Not in a million years! The second division yields to no one!"

You pulled your Captain by her sleeve to sit her back down and cleared your throat. "Ahem. I apologize for the commotion—please continue from where we left off."

Hoshina playfully grinned, "No need for that! I was able to cover everythin' Captain Ashiro asked me to relay to ya. You have more pressing matters to attend to, yes? Such as that twerp who's been starin' intently into yer head for the past hour, fellow Vice Cap."

Ah, yes—Captain Narumi did nothing but stare at you for the whole duration of the meeting. You were acting indifferent, but you just wanted to see how long he'll keep his word and act accordingly. "Very well, then. Captain Narumi, you mentioned a proposal from your division. Shall we hear it out?"

Oh. You were finally addressing him. He's beyond ecstatic; his anger is gone in an instant.

He uncharacteristically sat up properly, a mix of seriousness and smugness exuding from him. Taking this opportunity, he made eye contact with you, not once diverting his eyes elsewhere. (Hasegawa, however, seems uneasy. Was he not informed of any proposals?)

"That's right. It goes without saying, but the First Division is an elite division—the strongest of our forces. The stronger our forces get, the stronger I myself become. As Japan's Strongest Anti-Kaiju Combatant, I'm in need of an even greater source of strength..."

It all happened too fast — In a blink of an eye, Captain Narumi was now kneeling before you. Taking both of your hands in his, he declared, "YOU HAVE TO MOVE TO MY DIVISION! I promise I'll give you perks better than this meathead Captain of yours gives you, I'll grow incredibly stronger with you around and you don't have to worry about working overtime because we can just play BS5 together—"

SMACK!

You hear Hoshina laughing so hard he can't breathe as you looked over to see Hasegawa hitting Narumi's head with a rather thick stack of papers, lifting him as if he's a cat. "That's enough. I aplogize for his brash behavior, Vice Captain."

"NO! Hasegawa, put me down! I'm not done saying my proposal! Listen to me, I'm your Captain!!"

Jura, who was watching this transpire with controlled anger, got fueled up again. "Two-toned head! The next time you dare step in our turf, You'll be seeing your very own wanted posters!!"

This isn't supposed to be anything new to you, definitely not — it's not the first time Captain Narumi asked you to transfer to the First. But you were taken aback with how fast everything happened, you were basically unable to speak.

"Uh... I appreciate the offer?"

Hasegawa dropped Narumi back in his seat, appearing like a small dejected kitty. His vice captain offered an apology once more, asking to proceed with the meeting.

It didn't go unnoticed to you how unusually down Narumi is afterwards, though. Was he really upset this time?

After wrapping up the meeting, you stayed behind to organize the reports given by each division. A stack of paper slipped from your grasp, and before you can even pick them up, a figure gathered them surprisingly fast.

"Captain... Narumi? Shouldn't you go back to your base?"

He spoke softly, "Did you keep it? The Yamazon boxes I sent your way. It's full of stuff you might like."

Ah. The last time he asked you to transfer, he barged in with a handful of Yamazon boxes, full of things that you fancy. Recalling the contents, it was packed with new editions of books you loved reading, cute blind boxes figurines, an entire collection of hundred pieces jigsaw puzzle, raccoon plushies, and a lot more. He follows you on social media, and you always repost whatever catches your interests.

"Of course I did! I bought myself a brand new bookshelf to keep the books and store the puzzles' boxes, and decorated them using the figurines from the blind boxes and raccoon plushies!" You smiled, sharing what you did with each of them. Pulling out your phone, you showed him a photo of your cute little arrangement. "Here, I was satisfied with the outcome, it's my favorite part of my office."

He was staring intently at the photo, taking time to admire your arrangement. The little raccoon keychain dangling from your phone didn't escape his attention either. "I never got to formally give you my gratitude, but please know I'm beyond thankful for these."

Narumi has been looking at your phone for a solid few minutes now, concern taking over your features.

"Captain?"

He gently held the wrist holding your phone and looked at you, "I really, really like you a lot, y'know."

You feel your heart skip a beat, face suddenly warming. He's really full of surprises, the softness and sincerity in his tone evident.

"I mean it when I said I need you in the First Division. Think it over, please?"

Were you imagining things, or has he really been this close to you since a moment ago? Despite how a bit flustered you've been, you refused to get swayed by anything, as you already have a duty you swore to uphold.

"Captain Narumi, please listen—it's not that I'm against your division, it's just that I already have a duty I've yet to fulfill here. Now isn't the right time for me to leave this place." you said with determination.

He pouted, understanding that being with you isn't gonna be as easy he as he wants. He was about to speak when you held up your phone in his face again.

"However, I can compromise. If you want to see me that badly, save your number here and give me a call whenever, wherever." you said, turning your face away from him.

Hearing this instantly lit him up, wasting no time grabbing your phone and entering his number. He dramatically cleared his throat, newfound determination firing him up. "Fine, I'll accept. But just so you know! I'm not giving up on your transfer." he said, smugly crossing his arms.

Giving him one last smile before you part ways, you point at his phone and said, "I'll be looking forward to working with you in the future, Captain Narumi."

Curiously, he opened his contacts to see your number saved, followed with a "Future Right-hand Woman" next to your name.

Oh, he's definitely gonna mess with Jura harder than before.

[thatdogmagic]

As before, if you don't know what's going on, and aren't up to speed on Tumblr nonsense, you are totally allowed to go do something else. It will be a much better use of your time.

So, yeah.

I know the logs going around. I know how they come off if taken at face value, from the author's 'I did nothing wrong here' point of view.

Disclaimer up front: what I'm about to say isn't excusing aggressive behaviour, or saying that everything I said is wonderful and/or justified. Even if I think HaliteaTiger et al are going out of their way to heap all their responsibility on to me, like they were just innocent babies who couldn't make decisions for themselves, I don't think anyone deserves to be in the blast radius of an autistic meltdown (required viewing), especially of the Fight variety.

Talking about that is how Haligren and I bonded, in fact. Even before I knew it was autism, we talked about our mutual issues with explosive and dissociative anger.

All this is to say, I am not going to lengthen this post even more by pausing to say, every time I defend myself, that I'm aware of my own bad behaviour. Which I know is going to rub some people the wrong way/serve as 'proof' I'm just as bad as they think, but honestly? Don't care. This post isn't for you. You've decided based on vibes-based posting and cherrypicked logs you don't like me, and that's your business. You're welcome to leave now. I haven't given you any method of knee-jerk replying to this anyway.

For everyone else, the tl;dr is this: it should strike people as odd that I am the only person taking any real responsibility for a situation so prone to blowing up (friends working together) that it regularly shows up in every sitcom known to mankind.

To me, it is the height of irony that my main detractor decided to post me saying the r-slur about myself as an indictment, when 'look at this r-slur' has been the thesis of everyone's posts ever since this started. And no, I'm sorry, they know that's exactly what they're doing.

I can say that with confidence, because each one of them was informed, very clearly, and very early on, that I, as an at-the-time 41-42 year old, was going through some serious struggles with a recent autism diagnosis. In the case of HaliteaTiger, she even ignored photographs I'd taken, physical evidence of what meltdowns could do to me in my younger years.

They know this is explicitly attached to a disability, and they're going on record saying they can't possibly believe that's the case. That I must be lying for my own benefit.

In short, that I'm too smart to be that (r-slur). I must simply be malicious, manipulative, abusive instead.

Which is exactly why the word is so easy to reach for in those moments of meltdown.

Doesn't make it right, of course-- not only should I not use the word, I should really be kinder to myself. But I have a hard time being angry with myself for repeating what people have been saying to me for pretty much my entire life, even if they're not saying it outright.

So. Let me be blunt: I am not taking responsibility for other people deciding that they can "handle me," in spite of a downpour of warnings, disclaimers, and full-blown discussions. It can only be my fault for so long that I am exactly who I say am.

What I can take responsibility for is moving too quickly. It was taking that feeling of 'oh this explains everything' that the diagnosis brought with it, and thinking that relief could translate into control. I wasn't in a rational space for how things went with HaliteaTiger - and I was as clear about that as I could have been - but in the end, I was the one who said 'yes' to working together. I was probably the one who had the idea to work together in the first place. And I genuinely thought I could handle it. Obviously, I couldn't, and I meant every apology I gave when that became evident.

(aside: since people will rightfully ask, I have footnoted why I agreed to work with Jackal/Trish in spite of saying I learned from this bad experience with Haligren; if I go into it here I'll veer off track again.)

When I say this is where my responsibilities begin and end, I'm not writing that off as a small thing. I know now that, that soon after diagnosis and reorienting my life, I was going through a kind of 'skill regression.' Whether I knew it or not - that I was effectively a loaded weapon that could go off at any time - it doesn't change the outcome. Besides that, I knew full well what I was capable of. I had years of experience telling me it was probably too soon. 'Wishful thinking,' and the myriad other reasons for poor impulse control, doesn't clear me of that. I'm not going to ask, never have asked anyone to forgive me for it, either.

That said: it is where my responsibilities begin and end.

Keep in mind, Haligren herself posted what was more or less, 'she did exactly what she said she'd do and I can't accept that maybe I had a hand in this by not bothering to listen to her. Again.'

And the same goes for Jackal, albeit to a far lesser extent. We've already covered the fables she's invented for this.

You know, I know I've said it before, but I feel like it's worth pointing out again that this is all this needed to be. 'I thought I could handle this and I couldn't' was all it needed to be, from everyone. There was and is no shame in admitting that. And admitting it to ourselves didn't need to be all bad, either. It certainly hasn't been for me.

ex: It's allowed me to set much clearer boundaries for myself and others; it's let me see a lot of weak points that need the most work; and it's allowed me to just exist more comfortably with others.

There are things outside of my control that can still trigger me, but I've gotten better at pulling back in time, and if not pulling back in time, then lessening severity. Which sucks, sometimes, because it often means pulling back from things I'd rather be doing, because they're too overstimulating. ex: I often have to stop playing flashy video games because the visuals can exacerbate any ambient tension I already have.

It's where 'ah yeah this why this is a disability' realizations come in. Having to literally lay in a dark room to get your nervous system to shut the fuck up. Which I didn't know, couldn't have guessed would be a requirement for getting my Everything to calm down, any more than I could know that certain types of treble played at higher volumes could make me start feeling panicky and fucked up. I didn't even know 'dark room + reading' would work for me until sometime this year.

With all that in mind, I've been trying to be a lot more mindful about surrounding myself with people who I know for sure know exactly what's going on. Who take it seriously, and understand that I'm still learning a lot as I go, making up for a lot of years to a point where I sometimes feel like I'm relearning how to walk, or tie my shoes. They understand that just the process of de-masking is difficult, either because they've done it or are in the process of doing it, themselves.

I will not hold it against them if they witness a meltdown and decide enough is enough. Which is part of this I don't think Haligren et al ever realized:

I don't want people around if I'm genuinely too much for them. Because, and I know this might come as a shock but, I don't want to hurt people. I never have and I never will. I don't get any kind of fulfillment out of the sound of a telephone, or some random visual overload, sending me into an absolute rage and that coming out at someone I care about. That's not cool or comfortable or fun, that's stupid. I don't get any joy or reward from that. There is nothing that has ever positively reinforced it, and until I knew what it was, every single method I could use to fix it just fell completely flat.

I've spent much of my life feeling completely hopeless about it. Which is something else Haligren and I talked about. Something she experienced herself and sympathized with (which I can say is true; funny enough, she took the reactions to some of her own random explosions and posted them as 'proof I'm just mean all the time'). I have my theories as to why I suddenly lost that sympathy - I wasn't 'fun' anymore when my struggles were real, for one - but that's for later.

Still: everything that happened between us, she already knew was possible. That it was a matter of 'when' not 'if.' That it was not me giving myself permission, it was me telling her, this is a thing I struggle with constantly, it does take a certain type of person to work this closely with me on projects I feel this strongly about.

For reasons only she can say, she decided she was that certain type of person. I did not strongarm, goad, or pressure her into that role. I did not ask 'are you sure?' in some bizarrely nuanced way that inferred she had no choice.

Example: I was in what I can recognize now as that 'pre-meltdown' state when she approached me about using Clip Studio's comics formatting. For whatever reason, I snagged on having found the tool confusing in the past and lost my fucking mind about not wanting to use it. I apologized because it was undeserved, at best random and out of nowhere.

I feel like that should have probably let her know what was going on/its severity.

I would check in (or try to check in) with her after stuff like that and I know at least once initiated the 'are you sure?' conversation about working together, if not twice, in response to not catching myself in time. Long before she let me stick my neck out publicly and announce the collab we were working on.

IDK what she thought I was saying there. With any of that. Which was another problem in and of itself but we'd be here for actual pages of text if I had to go into how many times I was willfully misinterpreted as playing 4D manipulative chess or whatever.

So, yes, to say, 'I knew it could be bad but not this bad!!' is plain bullshit. It's bullshit. She knows that. And she knows I have logs of all of it.

Here's the thing tho: I don't *want* to fucking post any logs. Not least because I don't want *my* personal business out there for everyone to see, but I frankly don't want to be known as someone who posts someone else's, esp wrt mental health. Also:

I don't want to continue a slapfight that will only lose us all friends and colleagues, and may even create fractures in the actual community.

Because, let's be clear: that's the *only* endgame here. That is the best possible outcome of all of this: we annoy our peers and our community with a mountain of shit that will only ever boil down to 'we did not work well together, for a variety of reasons, and we all got messy about it.' That is all anyone will come away with after all the logs are posted, and all the shit is slung. Because there is no tell-all beyond that. There are no juicy secrets.

If you guys ('cause I know it'll be copy/pasted to you anyway despite blocks) want to die on that hill, that's your business. I *am* genuinely sorry anyone had to sit through my meltdowns; I truly don't want to have them, ever at all for any reason, and I don't want other people around me to take the heat of them. But that's the only thing I can really apologize for beyond 'I'm sorry it didn't work out' and whatever other *actual* mistakes I made.

We all made plenty. We all lost an opportunity we wanted in each other. We all lost out on telling our own stories quicker, and on telling new ones with one another. Pointing to one of the only people willing to take any responsibility for their part, and proceeding to dump *all* responsibility on their shoulders, will not fix that. Burning me in effigy won't save you from yourselves, either, because if you can't face this, you'll have all the same problems with other people later on down the line. You just will. There's no avoiding that.

As for me, as I said, I pared down who I work with quite a bit, to people who do take me seriously, and understand - really understand - what they're signing up for. Who won't look at me saying 'I don't take hints well so please just be up front with me' and disregard it as nonsense because I'm clearly too smart for that to be a thing.

It does 1000% require being around people who are willing to talk very frankly and openly about every conflict and confrontation. Which are, it should be noted, *not* people who are pathologically driven to pat your ass and say 'it's ok it's fine' when they clearly meant something different.

...

I'm not sure anything good will come of me posting this.

When I say the posts about me have been pretty much nothing but Jackal, Trish, and Haligren saying 'look at this r-slur,' I really do mean it. People gawking and engaging are joining in to do the same. Me making this post just invites even more of that, from them and from spectators.

Nothing good has come of me staying quiet, though, so it needed to be said.

Their disbelief that I could ever be 'that bad,' their unwillingness to listen to me when I talked about my limits, when I gave clear examples of where I might need additional support... I am not taking responsibility for that disbelief, no matter how many internet randos get sicced on me. Not from Haligren and definitely not from Jackal.

So, yeah, sorry/not sorry. I know someone having a visibly 'fight' response is easy to shit on, but, nah, no. I'm not going to apologize for saying I was *owed* an apology from Haligren, either, because I was, and she knows exactly why. She's just not willing to talk about the context of that moment, because that'll take all the wind out of the 'she was abusive and lashed out for no reason!!' sails.

It'll mean taking responsibility for her part in ruining the opportunity I represented for her and her work. Which is probably an uncomfortable thought to sit with, and clearly has been for years, considering how eager she was to jump in on behalf of someone who knew ahead of time that she held a grudge.

I'm sure that'll work out well for her. I wish them well in their future collaboration. Maybe I'm wrong and absolutely none of the problems they had with me will ever surface ever again with other people ever, and everything will be fine.

ps: Going on public record to say someone who told you, more than once, 'I have no interest in you romantically' indicated they actually had a mutual crush on you is rich. 'The thought crossed my mind' =/= 'I have a crush on you too,' so we're clear. If Haligren weren't playing a game of hate-telephone with someone prone to exaggerate, she'd have known that this assumption is part of the problem I had with her.

Same w/ the constant 'I'm not into women' reminders, like I'm incapable of remembering/might fall in love with her at a moment's notice because I happen to be attracted to women and femmes. Which might just be her being awkward but like, PSA: don't do that to your queer friends, it's weird and gross to just assume that kind of thing.

Especially when, in spite of that, it felt like sometimes I was being treated as a surrogate boyfriend on an emotional level. Which is pretty much what she posted outright, so-- thanks for clarifying that for me, I guess. ;p

pps: The only reason I even considered taking a risk on working on something more intense w/ people again, re: starting up with Jackal and Trish at all, was because I got laid off from my job, had severance, and unemployment. I had a window of time I could work hard on big projects and still be pulling in income. They were both given a pretty detailed account of what had triggered them w/ Haligren and also that they had happened/would probably happen, given how new everything was.

It was still a decision I knew could easily go sideways - and tried to account for that - but took the risk anyway. I knew what I was doing, which is, yes, where I explicitly fucked up, and my way of owning that isn't something I can put on display. I can only prove it with how I act and with whom, and that's what I intend to do.

ppps: I'd say more about whatever it is Trish is going on about in all of this but she and I barely spoke personally which makes her going scorched earth honestly pretty laughable and not really worth addressing.

[gayathreya]

good day, my lovers. it's time for another edition of rating suriya's outfits

it took me 5 business days to recover from the song that is named yolo, a title that is a decade too late, but here we are. we shall take a look at his outfits that we have a clear-ish full view of, in ascending order based on my esteemed correct opinions. strap in, babes

patterned blue beach shirt with white pants

an atrocity beyond all measure. it's not even a proper pattern on the shirt. the kind of random abstract print that is ugly, on top of that horrible shade of bright blue. suriya looks good in darker blues, this ain't it. and the white pants... kill. 1/10

2. patterned yellow beach shirt with white pants

another nonsense outfit and colour combination. why are they obsessed with such bright colours... IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD!! STOP IT!!!!!! the design on this isn't as bad as the blue beach shirt, but it's still dumb. the white pants as always, are a straight no. we need to start shaming people in white/beige pants. 2/10

3. abstract patterned beach combo set??? with white singlet

actually, it's not that bad. i get the appeal of beach combo shirts and shorts (i have them, too), and even though it's another shitty abstract pattern, as it's part of a set, i can close an eye to excuse it cos they're meant to be garish and silly looking. my 2 beach combo sets are pineapple designs in beige and orange, so i understand. 4/10

4. white tracksuit

the only thing wrong with this is the white. i really hate white outfits. he would be smoking in this if it was all black instead. so smoking in fact he would (and should) have his bones jumped (to put out the smoking fire, i mean. yeah) 5/10

5. blue dotted shirt and white pants

guys.. this was so close to being a good fit. the shade of blue is decent, but once again, it's the white that ruins it, both in the asymmetric dotted design and of course, the disastrous white pants again that i'm so sick of seeing. we need to burn them, suriya. please listen to me. it's enough. i do like his glasses in this, though. 5.5/10

6. yellow and black checkered suit

the gay outfit, if i say so myself. and i do. i'm saying it. i'm not sure about the colours, and i'm not even sure about the design, cos lbr it's kind of a gnarly mess. if this was on anyone else i'd point and laugh. but because it's suriya, it's strangely captivating. he's like a whispering siren in my head. no, i can't hate this even if i really want to. 6/10

7. blue tracksuit

FINALLY WE'RE GETTING TO THE ACTUAL GOOD STUFF. HE ACTUALLY LOOKS WHOLESOME AND CUDDLY HERE! I WANT TO HUG HIM! YES, KING! GO CYCLING! DO YOUR EXERCISE SEXILY! i know it. a very simple and clean outfit in a good colour. this is what i want. this is what i need. in fact, i'm cycling spiritually with him right now. 9/10

last but not the least....

8. vest without shirt open slutty chest pastel pink outfit

OKAY. OKAY. HEAR ME OUT. THIS IS ACE. firstly, i've always loved suriya in soft pink, i think it's one of the best colours on him after black. this is an insane outfit cos of the shirtlessness. we wear vests over a shirt, yes? that's why they're called 3-piece suits. suriya has simply made this a 2-piece suit and gone on full chest out and the only reason the chest out even works is cos it's unshaved, since nothing is more disgusting that shaved hairlessness (TO ME). i love the slutty hairy chest out look and the pastel pink and his warm smile NO IDGAF IT'S JUST GOOD. 9.5/10

WHY NOT 10/10 YOU ASK??? yeah it's cos of his ugly ass white shoes;

i literally have no idea what these pair of shoes are doing on him and paired with a suit. baby what's going on!!! who told you to do this!! get a nice pair of boots! black or brown, either would work with pink!!!! as a long time diehard doc martens truther, i need someone to get suriya a pair of those. i wear it with everything. shorts, jeans, sweatpants, work pants, idc. a pair of black standard doc marts are the shoes for any occasion. as with my hatred of white for anything other than like a plain t-shirt/singlet, i don't believe in white shoes either. it's ugly, and i won't apologise for it. but worst of all, track shoes shouldn't be paired with suits. we used to beat up people for that.... but i won't, cos suriya is so cute in pink i can't do that to him. in fact, have another pic of him just for no reason;

my angel meow meow forever :') <<<333

[that-ari-blogger]

What's The Point of the Horde? Part 2

Ok, So, why can't Catra just leave the Horde? And why can Adora do it so easily? What's the difference between them? Besides "the show needed a protagonist antagonist dynamic that was interesting"?

Here's another question: How does She-Ra factor into this?

The Sword Part 2 is the second episode of She Ra and the Princesses Of Power, and it provides a fascinating turning point for the series, a moment when the characters split from each other, and I'd like to delve into the thematic significance of that choice.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Adora is an extremely naive person, intentionally so. This isn't just the writers making an interesting character, but the result of Shadow Weaver's specific parenting style. Adora has been raised into a person who is incredibly suggestable, someone who is receptable to ideas, someone who is malleable. She is quick to trust and as such, she falls in with the Horde, the rebellion, Light Hope, etc. This keeps happening.

Catra meanwhile, has been raised into the opposite, a person who is closed off, afraid of connection. She's rebellious to a fault, and almost paradoxically self-aware.

Five By Five Takes on YouTube put it best.

"Onto Adora, [Shadow Weaver] projects her ambition... and onto Catra, she projects her insecurities."

I think that a lot of the difference between the two is their experience. The best way to control someone is to control their perception, and perception is important here. Adora quite accidentally breaks free of Shadow Weaver's control and sees Theymore for what it is, peaceful. The soldiers and Catra see what they are told to.

"These aren't insurgents, they're innocent people." "Yeah sure, innocent people who kidnapped a Horde officer."

Plato, rather famously, proposed the Allegory of the Cave, in which people are chained to a cave for their entire lives and shown shadows on the wall in front of them. They call out what the shadows represent, not because they have ever seen the real thing, but because they have learned that these shadows are the real thing. Long story short, one person breaks free. He (yes it was a "he", this was Plato's self-insert OC) leaves the cave and sees the real things that the shadows could only represent. But when he returns to the cave to share what he has learned, he is called mad, because why would you believe your entire worldview is fake?

Plato was talking about enlightenment and other such nonsense there, the whole "I am a philosopher, and I have seen things no mortal can comprehend" thing. But the reason this allegory has gone on to be famous, is because it works as an understanding of how real-world ideologies clash and real people are so unwilling to change views.

It happens in She-Ra too. Catra can only see what she has been told, so she looks around and sees proof. Adora must have hurt her head.

But here's the fascinating thing, Catra is aware of Shadow Weaver's manipulation. So, this is an opportunity to escape that, why doesn't she take it?

Put simply, being aware of something doesn't free you from its influence. For example, I have been aware of James Corden for years at this point. You can see where I am going here. Catra thinks Shadow Weaver's manipulation is just about strength and overt power, but as demonstrated here, Shadow Weaver's power is emotional. She controls what you see, what you hear, what you feel.

Enter She-Ra.

Adora has been raised on conditional acceptance and love. "You do things for me; I give you basic common kindness." And she doesn't shake that worldview. Her acceptance into the rebellion is based around She-Ra. She has been given an ability that can be of use, and these people can give her acceptance, so she takes it. Morality factors in, of course, but the reason Adora sticks with the rebellion instead of going rogue, is She-Ra.

So, why can't Adora and Catra see eye to eye here? Why can one break free, and the other not?

Well, it's more complicated than that; neither really breaks free. But in terms of switching sides, Adora is susceptible to change, Catra is not. Adora sees the real world, Catra can only see the shadows being weaved in front of her.

Previous - Next

[kataraslove]

not the same anon but i am a zutara fan who is also a kataang fan. imo, i found it much easier to navigate kataang spaces as a zuko fan. yes there is some bitterness and bad takes (as is all fans) but the kataang fandom from what ive experienced majority doesn't seem to have a problem with zutara as an actual ship, its the shippers. so when i interact most people are fine with me enjoying zutara because im not being nasty about it. however the zutara fandom is very much a.. hive mind, to put it one way. a lot of fans can't bare the fact that the ship is fanon, and as most of us know kataang and aang especially is n1. enemy. I've been kicked out of discords for saying i don't think aang is an incel, and a lot of people have the belief that aang deserves better than kataang too whilst simultaneously arguing that he was extremely toxic and self centered. the fandom is very toxicly centred on katara and zuko, although have a very narrow view of katara that only exists within shipping lenses but if you point it out they call you sexist. to put it nicely: being a kataang and aang fan in the zutara fandom is hellish, because someone will always come at you. the amount of people who say im not even a zutara fan, or am probably a zukka fan trying to stir trouble. most people who are multishippers (ship katara & zuko with other characters that aren't zutara approved) tend to stick to their own little circles to avoid harassment

i just want to state that while i do think the kataang fandom has a problem with zuko and katara romantically, we’ve never really had a problem with their friendship. we just don’t think it’s one of the defining relationships of the show that a lot of people make it out to be. if you had to ask me, the most prominent relationships in atla are katara and aang, zuko and aang, zuko and iroh, zuko and azula, & katara and sokka.

it’s ridiculous that you were kicked out of a whole discord simply for stating that aang isn’t an incel. when a shipping fandom continues to sprout this type of nonsense towards the main character, a character that is beloved to many people, of course people are going to take issue on it and turn against the fandom.

the hate towards aang (disguised in the form of “critique” often) is quite disengenuine many times because i doubt that they would despise him as much if he had ended up with someone else. if aang is this horrible, awful predator that they make him out to be - why ship him with toph, a blind girl? manipulative and abusive men (things that I’ve seen aang called) do not change their behaviours and attitudes towards women based on whom they date. toph or anyone else won’t be able to “fix” aang. if you genuinely believe aang to be a predator and ship him with someone else, you are stating that you are completely fine if this other character is subjected to the horrible things that you believe he is capable of doing. so, either you don’t genuinely believe that aang is a predator, or you have to admit that your willing to put aside your fandom feminism so long as he doesn’t end up with the person that you think zuko deserves.

“very narrow view of katara that exists through shipping lens” is the best way to describe it. the view that katara was a victim by aang and the gaang - that she had no agency, or free thought, and had to be rescued by zuko - is not understanding katara! i’ve never seen a fandom so insistent on viewing katara as a helpless victim at the hands of the gaang, someone who performs all the emotional labour (fandom buzzword), and proclaiming that the writers/creators did her a huge disservice… whilst replicating that dynamic in their fics. except this time, zuko - excuse me, dadko - helps her out with the chores, defends her, protects her, until she ultimately can get her agency back from the gaang and start standing up for herself after realizing her worth.

sorry, but how am i supposed to believe that this is the fandom that understands and cares for katara the best? this isn’t canon katara - this is a version of katara that you have projected your own interests and desires and issues onto. canon katara has no problem telling people where to shove it if you stand in her way. and the gaang agrees with her, has done so in many of her episodes. the southern raiders is a special case, but even then, neither aang nor sokka actively try to stop her from confronting her mother’s killer. they advise that revenge isn’t the best option — and for the love of god, that opinion does not mean that they are demonizing her. the southern raiders is a tale about katara confronting her mother’s killer, of seeking justice, of seeking retribution - but it’s also a journey of forgiveness; katara learns not just how to forgive zuko for his betrayal, but also learns to forgive herself for the survivor’s guilt that she experiences from her mother’s death.

the criticism towards post-canon is that katara’s entire character revolves around aang. and i agree to an extent - especially in those awful gene luen yang comics barring north and south. but why is the solution in fanon then to attribute everything about katara towards zuko and the fire nation? katara is the southern water tribe ambassador to the fire nation, katara experiences liberation from her friends and family because of zuko, firelady katara, etc, are all popular tropes or perspectives emphasizing katara’s role and connection towards zuko and to the fire nation. you can’t tell me that katara was done so horribly in post-canon, then insist that firelady (a connection defined by her worth to her husband and his nation) is the best possible outcome for her and the feminist ending that she deserved. oh, and that everyone (no matter if they ship kataang or zutara) who doesn’t see it this way are all sexist.

“shipping katara and zuko with characters that are zutara approved” i wonder what characters those are. for katara, is it yue? suki? jiang? for zuko, is it jet? a lot of people in the kataang fandom also ship katara with other women (myself included). the kataang to sapphic katara pipeline exists for a reason.

I’m sorry about your experiences in the zutara fandom, anon. but i’m glad you’ve had more positive experiences in the kataang fandom to make up for all the awful shit you’ve had to deal with! hoping you know that there’s always a safe space here ❤️

[gemsofgreece]

https://twitter.com/nonregemesse/status/1665090309636644866?t=Wam_pcFXnis0kcl45Kg2Uw&s=19

Welp even Brits can't escape this nonsense. Teaching at universities that an important part of England history isn't real to make it anti racist?? How is it anyway??

In general i think it's some false stereotypes that has to do with skin colour otherwise i don't know why people in Europe view parts of their history as racist (and i fear USA started it).

I saw it when you sent it to me but now the Twitter link seems to have been taken down, so I found the Telegraph article on Reddit (because it’s behind a paywall in their own website)

I would like to comment on your use of the word “even”. Western Europe has been way more submissive to the expansion of American wokeness and it has been a few years it largely inflicts itself on it. It is not like in the east, where this is still more like an external trend we try to resist to, it has largely been embraced there. Of course we are talking about the problematic, hugely toxic new movement that has lost all sense and respect for historical truth in its effort to establish equality and justice in the very special and one-sided way it alone understands it. I am obviously not talking about any well-based, founded and studied movements for inclusivity of all groups of people or the respect and support of their rights in our lifetimes, which is CRUCIAL.

Back to the article, apparently Anglo-Saxons did not exist according to the University of Cambridge and the reason behind their non-existence is an attempt to stop nationalistic sentiment of British-born people claiming an Anglo-Saxon ancestry, therefore suggesting they originate from tribes coming from North and Central Europe, and therefore being white by heritage. Of course the Anglo-Saxons are one of the historical groups that make the genetic make-up of the old Brits, not the original or the exclusive one. I don’t understand why Cambridge feels the need to lower its IQ by 100 points and self-inflict a blow in its reputation just to converse with the potential dimwits who might feel superior for may or may not having some part Anglo-Saxon descent (also how can this be proved anyway?). But this is the problem with wokeness: instead of rising intellectually above its opponents, it falls on their level, except from the other side. The results are laughably sad, like in this case.

On the other hand, maybe the article is sensationalising (or the University is exaggerating) the fact that the Anglo-Saxons were more of a cultural group that developed any sort of unity after establishing themselves for long in Britain and not prior to that. They usually landed there in large spans of time as small groups of people migrating from NC Europe without any particular ethnic unity and sense of identity. It’s not like a full blown nation called “Anglo-Saxons” landed there and took Britain by force. From the little reading I did anyway, I am not all that knowledgeable on English history, even though it is fascinating and I would love to learn more in the future.

In any case, it’s evident by its arguments that the University did this for political reasons and not for reasons of exhaustive historical accuracy. And again it’s a different thing to say Anglo-Saxons were not like what the nationalists paint them to be from saying they never existed at all.

In the Reddit thread, someone has reposted the whole article.

Also spot on Greek-relevant comment in this thread under the cut:

🙃

[bumble66]

Some people claim this closeted actor on reddit was Chris Evans

In the reddit post called

"Being an extremely well-known yet closeted American film actor.",

he allgedly said that he was adviced to come out when his career starts to dwindle. So I guess now is the time? And for the people who are still doubting me. If he were truly in love with the Portuguese actress, why fake a marriage? Why not just be open about that immigration law takes time and they can't marry yet because it would mean that she has to stay in the US for months, limiting her career (or he for months in Portugal... which neither of them did). Shouldn't be a problem, you know? Of course the sexist women of The View, who are part of the industry and know that this is fake PR, asked him when he is about to have kids. Based on his reply he wasn't all to enthusiastic about that topic (No surprises here. Imagine having a kid with your Hollywood beard like Bradley C.) But for a second, imagine the roles reversed. Implying a woman can only have a fulfilled marriage when she has kids. I thought the hosts of The View were feminists??? #DoubleStandards It is nonsensical what he is doing right now, evidenced by the fact that dog food gets more attention from him than his alleged wife and he still loses followers on instagram all the time. It just simply shows that people aren't interested seeing him married to a woman. #EternalBachelorChris

[niuniente]

I've had an NDE before from drowning and let me tell you, I am 99% sure my brain was trying to comfort me in my dying moments. I lived, obviously. But I VERY MUCH disagree with you on the whole 'doctors being considered quacks' for it thing. During my recovery I was sent to a support group and one of the people there tried to convince me that the tings I saw were real and I had some sort of ethereal experience. Whereas my doctor told me about the chemical shifts in my brain and explained to the best of his ability why I might have seen what I saw. The doctor admitted that it is a newer field of study, and that not too much is known yet, but he assured me I wasn't alone and that if I felt concerned that he would be there to make sure I was okay. All that person at the support group did was re-traumatize me and give me a mental breakdown. I would rather trust my doctor, who instead of mocking me or calling it nonsense, spoke about it to other doctors who had seen similar things happen with their patients. Please, don't use NDE's an an excuse to discredit doctors or molecular biologists. Because that REALLY sounds like what you are doing what with bringing up the whole 'dark ages' thing.

You are free to have your opinion and view of your experience. After all, it is yours. Who am I to say that it was false?

The same way, I am free to have my views, not based on one person's experience only but thousands of experiences. Thousands of studies. I didn't come up with this just one day like BLING! This is it!

I don't like that the notion that science and "non-scientific" experiences should rule each others out but let's be real; if you tell a scientist, a doctor included, that I had an NDE (like for example, the famous Eben Alexander, who is a neurosurgeon himself, too), 95% of doctors will say "That's bollocks. Our current scientific understanding of this phenomena is X". It's dangerous to think that we already know it all. Science should always be open and hungry to know more, to study more, to go beyond what is already known. Of course, doctors doing their daily jobs are doing their daily jobs and that's good! They do what they can with the technology and understanding we've got at the moment, exactly the same way as doctors in 1823, 1532, 323BC and in 3023. If you somehow understood that as a message against doctors, well, too bad.

If we keep scientific and currently unknown scientific things which we can't understand at the moment separated, it takes longer to study different things and learn to understand them - and also, of course, to rule out things, too. All scientific fields are full of dogmas you shouldn't try to break of question. That's how it has always been and probably always will be. It doesn't mean that the scientific field COULD NOT do good while they are full of these dogmas. That's Christian fundamental belief system where only absolute good or absolute evil exists - and that doesn't work in real life.

IF you, or anyone else, wishes to learn more about NDEs, International Association of Near-Death Experiences IANDS has been studying this phenomena for decades, and it is the world's most reliable source, including scientific studies and help for scientists.

If the physical part of NDE and how brain makes it (most likely brain does have something to do with it, after all, we're psycho-physical beings), the best case is the neurosurgeon Eben Alexander's experience. He knows what he talks about, also as a doctor specialized in brains. He was in such bad condition that there shouldn't have been any experiences, no imagination, not comfort from the brain (based on our current knowledge, that is) and yet, he had such a long, vivid, strong and profound experience that he wrote a book of it.

Here's also Eben Alexander's own speech in an event about his experience, would it interest someone:

Eben Alexander: A Neurosurgeon's Journey through the Afterlife (not the only one, of course, but detailed and nice)

As a final notion: Please, always keep your experiences as yours but respect others', too. Not everything is always about US and what WE have gone through and what WE believe in. The same way as I can't (and won't) rule out your experience as yours and what it means to you, as I have no right to do it, you can't rule out other peoples' different NDEs just because you personally don't believe in them. (The same way as you can't, for example, dismiss someone having an abusive mother just because your mother adored and loved you). Give them the same respect as you want to be given to you.

[reiverreturns]

top (5) gun(s). just kidding. top 5 favorite (or LEAST favorite) scottish stereotypes?

oh my beloved ac mutuals, how i love and adore you for putting up with my vroom vroom plane nonsense <3

okay onto business, this was a really hard one to pick how to answer! i don't like stereotypes in general (flattens my capacity for nuance) so i'm going to pick the five i think are most harmful/misunderstood.

that scottish people know/care what clans we come from. i think a lot of this stereotype comes from the north american view of scottishness and thinking that having scottish ancestry makes you scottish (which it doesn't). it's not generally front of mind in a modern scot's identity (unless you're landed gentry or something) and i find it a gross question to be asked because of that association to a very myopic/white view of scottishness.

scottish people are anti-english. this ties a lot into the independence movement and is heavily rooted in a uk-centric media narrative of scots having it "too good" as we are. a lot of scottish people WILL rib on english folk during sporting tournaments etc. (because its funny) but genuine xenophobia is rare and its quite reductive to assume a desire to self-determine the future of our country is based on an 'us vs them' mentality.

the scottish accent is impossible to understand. nope, we're often just not speaking english! scottish people often speak scots or scots-english which has different words, grammatical structures, and meanings for words vs their english counterparts. however, there are exceptions to this. some characteristics of a scottish accent (such as liberal use of glottal stops) make some english words really indistinct to foreigners. for example, a scottish person saying "can" and "can't" will often sound nearly identical unless they're stressing the 't' deliberately. that's why we say "can" and "cannae" in scots - it's much more distinct and you can't really mix them up. there are, of course, regional nuances i'm not touching on but to tdlr it - sometimes we're just speaking a different language; sometimes we accidentally make things more difficult by trying to make your life easier and speak proper english

scottish people are tight with money. this is such a weird one because idk where it comes from but its not true??? I WANT TO PAY FOR THINGS STOP MAKING JOKES THAT I WILL SKIP OUT ON MY TAB. TAKE MY MONEY.

scots are violent or unfriendly. especially if you are from/have lived in or around glasgow. scottish people tend to be quite direct and to the point but in my experience scots are generous with their time and want to help other people. it makes me sad to think people wouldn't want to visit the country because of that stereotype for violence.

and finally, a few things i agree with:

men in kilts are hot

women in kilts are hot

bagpipe music slaps (at an appropriate time of day)

Ask me my Top 5 of anything

[luminousscammer]

note: aaaaaa after posting this imma go mia again kdnsks n e ways this man needs more appreciation and i'll gladly take a bullet for him. no title cuz my brain doesn't cooperate. (◕ᴗ◕✿)

warnings: smut, slight dumbification, creampie

wc: 1.2k

WATCH GANGSTA FFS

Nic completely adores holding you, loves the feeling of your body pressed against his, loves the way your heart beats along with his own as he falls asleep. He can be awkward and rough around the edges, but in the end he doesn't really care what others think.

Is strange for you how a man like him could kill in the blink of an eye, but if you have to be honest, that's one of the reasons why you fell in love with him.

He loves tenderly and recklessly, no limits set, he loves you so dearly and that feeling fills your heart, everyday continuing to grow.

Your head falls to the pillow and you arch your back when he presses his palm across your lower stomach, he slowly ran a finger between your wet folds making you gasp loudly. Your knees close out of reflex, grabbing the sheets.

“Nic” You mewl, lower lip trembling when he drags his index finger past your glossy cunt. You moaned out, your back arched almost completely off the bed at this point, as he placed a kiss to your inner thigh. He pumped his finger in and out, and his cock became unbearably hard as he watched you moan so desperately. He tilted his head, watching you becoming a mess. He licked his lips and leaned down to suck on your clit.

He slowly inserted a second finger, and your legs tried to close around him. He pushed them back open, holding one in place with his free hand.

His eyes were closed as he sucked eagerly at your clit. His fingers would disappear into you only to reemerge for a few seconds before disappearing again. He was grinding softly against the mattress, obviously just as affected by everything, and the grip he had on your thigh would surely leave marks.

Nicolas started a steady rhythm as he fucked you with his thick fingers.

You cry into the bedroom, whining when he pulls his hand out. You can feel the room getting warmer, even more when you see the way his eyes go to your exposed pussy, shiny and wet.

Placing both hands on his cheeks, you cradle his head and make him look at you “Please, Nic,” even if he can't hear you, you know he's trying to read your lips in the dim room, one of your palms goes to caress his hips, is enough to Nicolas to know that you want him. You put your small fingers around the base of his cock.

His eyes are ponderous, as he stays on his knees between your thighs, watching your dark eyes fill with desire when his hand grabs yours, squeezing your hold with a grunt.

Pushing you back into the mattress, he grabs your legs and places them around his hips, he moves between your thighs until his cock is lined with your sopping hole. He stretched you even more than his fingers, and all you could do was moan wantonly as Nicolas slowly thrusted in inch by inch. Drool spilled from the side of your mouth when you felt him bottom out inside of you. Your legs were spread wide around him.

Your love for Nicolas doesn't have any boundaries either, and it makes you stupid when he fills your warm cunt up with his cock. It makes your brain dizzy and your chest warm with love as you watch him above you sighing as he closes his eyes and let out a low groan, wrapped nice and tight around his cock.

You sob into the bedroom, gasping down a lungful of wet air when Nicolas pulls his hand out of the leg of your shorts. Your thoughts lag behind your reaction as he hooks his hands beneath your thighs, pushing them to your torso before hooking his fingers into the damp fabric, guiding it over your thighs and calves and lets your thighs limply fall open around him again.

If he could hear all the animalistic and lewd sounds he makes, he probably would get shy and it'll take a little of your begging to him to not stop. This may sound cruel but, for moments like these you were grateful for his deafness.

He thinks that if he could talk right now, it would be just babbling nonsense about how good you feel around him and how much he loves you. He leans down to kiss you hard on the mouth, so hard that you think your lips would bruise and your pulse shivers against the tender skin of your neck.

You're going into a frenzy as Nicolas keeps pounding in and out of you, hips snapping against yours, cock dragging itself against your gummy walls. The sounds that you make keep coming out of your mouth, in an attempt to stop them with your hands, Nic grabs each of your wrists and pins them besides your head. He couldn't hear you, so, in replacement of the sound, the view of your face contouring in pleasure was the only thing he absolutely adored (without mentioning the way you tighten around him, of course).

You feel light-headed as he continues to fill you up, your eyes are rolling in the back of your head, drool dribbling down your chin. Nicolas's lips go to rest against your throat,

“Nicolaaaaas, please-please-please-”. It's incoherent and sounds like you can think anymore, you were going dumb. You could feel his breath hitch in your neck as he growls with each thrust. He's going to cum, he could feel it by the way you keep sucking him into your warm and slick cunt. You whined, wrapping your legs around the back of his thighs to lock him inside and begging, “please Nic, pleasepleaseplease lemme have your cum Nicolas, i want it so bad, pleaseplase, fuck–”

Drinking all the vibrations from your throat, it didn't take long for Nicolas to cum inside you, painting your pink walls white. Only the sound of your shriek when you finally came undone around his cock falling on deaf ears. Your creaming cunt pulsing and fluttering, the sight of white translucent fluid on his swell cock made him shiver.

Shuddering against each other, you pucker your lips for a kiss that he gladly gives you.

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Love

One-Shot

Description: Asexual!Bucky thinks he is broken beyond repair, until you show him that he has been complete all this while.

Warnings: Angst, bad language, mention of sex toys, romance and fluff

@jtargaryen18 organised a writing challenge for reaching 4k followers and of course I have to participate multiple times! 😍 I am sorry this entry is a little late 🙈

My Main Masterlist

A/N: This is the first time I am writing an asexual character. Whatever I have written is based upon my knowledge that I have gathered by reading various articles and posts on asexuality. The reason I am writing this is because I want to have an equal amount of straight and LGBTQ+ stories in my masterlist, so that there's something for everyone to enjoy. Hence, if you are an asexual person or know someone who is, and you realise that anything in my story is incorrectly represented, then please let me know. I will immediately correct it, issue an apology and accept my mistake publicly. 

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

"I cannot fucking believe this!" Karen shouted, "What are you like gay or something?"

Bucky winced at her venomous words. "You need to leave," he said in a quiet, respectful tone.

"Like hell I am going to leave. I want answers!" she placed her hands on her hips and stomped her foot. "What is it? Am I not sexy enough for you? Are you not attracted by this?!" she gestured towards the skimpy lingerie currently hugging her body.

Bucky met her eyes as he responded, "I do not want to have sex with you." 

She huffed, clearly not convinced, "Why not? We have been going out for what, 3 months now? And you still don't want to have sex with me? What is the issue here? Is it-" she paused suddenly, her eyes traveling down his torso to his crotch, "You can't get it up can you?" she sneered.

Bucky shook his head, too exhausted to deal with her, "Karen, it's nothing like that. I just do not want to get physical with you. That's all."

"Oh! Ooooohh!" she bent backwards a bit, "So it was fine to hug me, cuddle with me and hold my hands. But when it comes to sex, you suddenly become a pious celibate saint! What the fuck Bucky?"

Bucky sighed, and handed Karen back her coat, "We are done. Please leave."

She laughed dryly, "Oh abso-fucking-lutely we are done. You know what I think?" she asked while wearing the coat, "I think that you are too old grandpa and that your tiny ass tortured gay dick cannot salute on its own. Because no man in his right mind would deny this," she again pointed to herself. "Super-soldier my ass," she muttered as she left.

The door to his apartment closed with a loud bang, leaving an echo in its wake. Bucky stood still, rooted to his spot. If it were not for the silent tears rolling down his cheeks, anybody could have mistaken him for a statue. 

Slowly, he sat on the floor, his gentle sobs rocking his body as he hugged his knees. 

Decades of torture by the hands of Hydra had left him crippled, physically, mentally and emotionally. When he had been saved by Steve, he had started to piece his life back together, bit by bit. Things such as books, movies, music became tiny jigsaw pieces that slowly filled the void in his life. 

After the final galactic battle with Thanos, Bucky had been officially initiated to the Avengers team, or rather what was left of it. The team soon became an extended family, a family that Bucky was still getting used to. It was especially irksome when Sam and Scott decided to set him up on a date with Karen from Research & Development (R&D), despite his protests.

It wasn't that Bucky didn't desire a relationship. He wanted to be close to someone, experience romance, feel their heartbeat in a close embrace and place light kisses on their forehead. 

But he didn't want to have sex.

At first, he thought he might not have met the right woman. So he searched for porn online, which did little to sway his feelings. He put the issue on a backburner, the safety of the people and the urgency of his missions steering the wheel of his life for a while. 

But when Sam and Scott proudly announced their grand plans for Bucky's date, he remembered his "issue" again. He looked at Karen closely whenever they went on dates together. She looked perfect. Beautiful hair, soft glowing skin, curves in all the right places, all packed in a graceful, slender body.

Bucky liked being close to her, but he was still not getting aroused. Hence, he stopped her advancements everytime she tried to get physical. Karen tolerated it for a while, before her patience wore out tonight.

As the sun rose in the sky, Bucky was still seated on the floor, his cheeks now stained with tears that had stopped sometime in the night, though a sniff escaped from him every few minutes. He looked at the sunlight pouring in from the window, broken by the window-panes, landing at his feet in two rays with a comforting warmth. It was in that moment that Bucky realised, Hydra had truly broken him.

🏳️‍🌈

"We have various types of dildos available. There's The Classic, Textured, Long and Thin, Short and Thick, Vibrators, Transparent Plexiglass Dildos, Strap-Ons, G-Spot Dildos, Double-Ended, Squirting Dildos and ones that also come with a suction grip. Are you looking for yourself or are you looking for something to enjoy with your partner?" the helpful saleswoman asked you.

You stroked your chin in thought, "It's only for me. I already have a vibrator that I bought about a year back. The G-Spot ones have never really worked for me. I am looking to try something new. What is the suction grip one?" 

The attendant handed you the dildo and showed you the suction grip at the end of it, "You can use this to place and stick it on any flat surface you want, whether it's the floor or the wall or the side of your desk. It guarantees a completely hands-free pleasurable experience."

You stuck it on the wall besides the showcase to test the theory. It worked. "Neat! I will take this one," you smiled as the attendant went to fetch a fresh piece.

You paid for your new sex toy and walked back to the Avengers compound with your small white shopping bag in tow.

When you reached your desk, you heard Karen bitching as usual about something to Jessica. At first, you blocked them out like you did almost everyday, but then a name in their conversation caught your attention.

"He's the Winter Soldier alright. He's completely frozen down there," Karen whispered loudly with disgust. 

"Even that red sexy lingerie didn't do anything for him?" Jessica gasped dramatically.

"No!"

"That's crazy! That hot-red piece will convert even the most gayest of the guys! And it didn't do anything for him? Wow," Jessica responded.

Karen added, "You know something? I have always thought he was extremely weird. Like, dude, I know you were tortured by Hydra or whatever, but get over it man! It's been years since he was free. He should enjoy life and stop being such a wimp. I am 100% sure he is impotent."

"You know I was digging into him the other night," Jessica said in a hushed whisper, "and I saw a message board online which suggested that his penis has been completely cut by Hydra. This person knows all such secrets about these alleged superheros. You should follow him."

"What is his username?"

"Proud-Flat-Earther-MotherFuckers. Wait, I will send you the link," Jessica offered. 

Having heard enough of their nonsense, you made your way towards the HR department. Maybe both Karen and Jessica had forgotten, but talking about the personal lives of Avengers was strictly against the rules and was considered as reason enough to fire employees. 

You filed a complaint with the HR and within a few hours, both the women were fired on the spot. You savored the moment with relish, as their faces turned aghast at the realisation that their actions had consequences. You went up to them, watching the pair clean their desks, with unabashed glee. 

"You know something Karen?" you asked her, "Just because a man refuses to have sex, it didn't mean that he's a wimp, or gay or an impotent. But if you do choose to think of him that way, then it surely makes you a sexiest and a homophobic person."

Karen looked at you furiously, "You bitch! I lost my job because you went and blabbed in front of the HR!"

You chuckled at her outburst, "Oh my dearest Karen. Yes I did go and rat you out to the HR. But that's not what got the two of you fired."

"Then what did?" Jessica asked as she joined the conversation. 

You folded your hands for effect, "Your hateful comments and toxic views cost you your jobs. People like you think that just by using the latest iPhone or following the latest trends, you are a modern, 21st century person. But in reality, it is your open mindset which makes you a member of the modern society. If you would open your mind just as much as you open your legs, trust me, the two of you will be much better off."

You turned to leave, but stopped yourself, "Just a suggestion. Stop using words like gay and impotent as insults. It will help you retain your next job for a longer time." You winked at their speechless faces, and happily returned to your desk. 

Your job in R&D was taxing and so, you always found yourself working late. Today was no exception either. As you left your office at around 8pm, you saw Bucky heading towards the elevator which led to his apartment. You always had a soft spot for the brunette super-soldier. For starters, you couldn't even begin to comprehend the tortures he must have endured in his past. And the fact that he was trying to piece his life back together again? It was truly commendable.

He always kept to himself, his eyes downcast and his body language unsure. And after what you had heard today, you felt even more sorry for the guy. Turning towards the cafeteria, you picked up a box of vanilla-strawberry French macarons for him, thanking the heavens above for the free food available at the Avengers compound. You held the white bag with macarons in your left hand, being mindful of not confusing it with the similar white bag in your right which contained your new sex toy. 

A few moments later, you found yourself in front of his apartment. You had visited him twice before to adjust his vibranium arm or to sort out a few tweaks, but never before had you visited him so late in the evening. 

You knocked, feeling a little hesitant as you did so. He was surprised to find you standing on the opposite of the door, however, he still greeted you courteously nonetheless. 

Before you could state your reason for the visit, he said sincerely, "I heard what you did today. Thank you. I really appreciated it."

Now it was your turn to be surprised, "Oh. Ummm. It's okay really Mr Barnes. It was nothing. You don't need to-"

"No. It wasn't just nothing. You could have turned a deaf ear and ignored them. Yet you chose to stand-up for me. Thank you," a small smile laced his face and you melted on the spot.

You had a crush on Bucky. A BIG one. Could anyone blame you? This guy was a hot, sexy mess of an ice-cream sundae that left you hungry for more even on the coldest nights of the year. 

You realised you were staring into his steel-blue eyes like a creep, and immediately cleared your throat. "What-what they did was wrong. Karen had no right to demean you for your desires or lack of them. I-," you sighed, "I am sorry for what she said. It was disrespectful and hurtful. So I brought you something that I hope will cheer you up."

You awkwardly raised your right hand, "I got you some vanilla-strawberry macarons from the cafeteria."

Bucky did cheer up a bit at the mention of his favourite food. He eagerly took the bag with a huge smile, "Thank you," he said once again as you shook your head. "Thank you for everything you do to keep us safe Mr Barnes. I must be on my way now. Goodnight," and with that you left, grinning like an idiot.

🏳️‍🌈

You took a bath, ate your dinner and slipped into comfortable pyjamas. Excited to try your new sex toy tonight, you unpacked the bag expecting to see the nondescript box of the dildo. Instead, 5 delicious macarons stared back at you with innocence. 

You stumbled backwards in shock, the impact of your action settling like a dull, heavy weight in your stomach. "Oh no no no no," you whispered, horrified.

You immediately rushed to your window and pulled aside the curtain to look at Bucky's building, as if expecting to see him staring daggers at you. One of the privileges of working with the Avengers? You got to stay in a nice apartment within the compound itself. Your residential complex was a little further away from the main building, covered easily by 15 minutes of walking. 

Feeling hyper, you frantically searched for a coat and almost ran out of your house. You rushed back in to keep the box in the bag and again, dashed towards the elevator. 

Hoping that Bucky would have yet to open the box, you sent a silent prayer to all the gods and goddesses in the skies above, even Thor. Meh, you never know when an ex-Avenger could be of help.

You sprinted towards the other building, a multitude of thoughts clouding your mind- What if he was offended by it? Would he file a complaint against me? It would be sorta ironic if I was fired for this! Shit he would think my apology was false and I am probably mocking him.

You reached his apartment, a panting, huffing mess of a person. You knocked frantically, his door shaking with force at your desperation. However, you jumped as Bucky whispered your name from behind you, "Are you okay? What's going on?" he asked with concern as you turned around to face him.

"Did-did you op-open the bo-ox?" you questioned him while panting like a dog. 

He furrowed his brows in response, "No I was planning to open it in a few minutes. Please tell me what's going on. Why do you look so scared?"

You bent over double, your stomach cramping thanks to your impromptu running, "Thi-this is your bag," you held up the package, "That ba-bag is mine."

"Okay," Bucky said slowly, still unsure of your behaviour, "Should I open the door to retrieve your bag?"

You nodded as he stepped aside, "Why are you not wearing any shoes?"

You looked down at your feet at his query, small blades of grass had stuck to your naked feet along with dirt. "I was in a hur-hurry to get to you," you managed to say between your breaths.

Bucky just nodded in response. It was then that you noticed the pack of paper tissues in his hand. He opened the door and stepped inside, beckoning you to follow him. He pointed to the white bag kept on the table while he looked at it with worry. "Will it explode?" he solicited.

"Uhh no," you replied awkwardly.

"Is it dangerous?" curiosity etched on Bucky's face as you swapped the bags.

"No, it's nothing like that," you looked down at your feet, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks with embarrassment.

He narrowed his eyes, "Then what is it?"

"I can't tell you," you quietly admitted, "but here are your macarons. I am really sorry for this. Didn't mean to disturb you from whatever you had planned," you pointed to the box of tissues still in his hand. 

Bucky noticed the underlying question in your statement, "I was about to watch a movie. So needed these to clear the mess."

Your eyes went wide at his sincerity. While you had a crush on him, you definitely did not want to know about Bucky's late night masturbation adventures. Shaking your head, you raised your hands and started walking backwards, "I am sorry I disturbed your nightly… activities. I get out of your hair."

"Actually, would you like to join me for the movie?" Bucky asked hopefully, "We have the macarons and you seem like you need to calm your nerves."

You were surprised for the third time that day. Did Bucky just ask you to masturbate with him? Or have sex while eating the macarons? Or did he want to eat them after you guys have had sex? A flurry of questions swirled in your mind as you stared at him with a slightly open mouth. 

Bucky interpreted your gaze and stumbled to clarify himself, "As friends! Would you like to watch a movie with me as a friend?"

You slowly nodded your affirmation, "Yeah okay. Which movie are we watching?" 

"The Notebook," he revealed with a smile, "It's an extremely emotional movie. Ummm what's the term? Tear-jerker? Uhh yeah, it's a real tear-jerker of a movie."

"Oh so that's why…" you pointed at the tissues. "Yeah," he confirmed, "I tend to cry a lot while watching that movie. And… ummm… I am the kind of person who cries ugly. You know, all tears and snot. So yeah… I need the whole box."

"That's… that's actually sweet," you smiled, "Trust me you are not alone. I start crying as soon as the titles appear on the screen."

He got excited at your confession, "Yes! Exactly! It's because you know what's going to come and you are just mentally preparing yourself."

You chuckled with him in affirmation as he led you further into his apartment.

You freshened up a bit in his washroom, making sure to clean your feet and the residue on your face from the sweat.

Bucky was standing besides your bag when you entered the living room, "Now that we are friends," he intoned, "will you please tell me what's inside of this?"

You sighed, "Mr Barnes-." 

"Bucky," he corrected you and you smiled. 

"Will you promise me you will not take any offense or be insulted by it? I really did not mean to swap the bags."

"I trust you," Bucky said with assurance.

"It's…it is a sex toy," you mumbled quietly. Any normal human wouldn't have heard you, but Bucky's enhanced hearing caught your words flawlessly. 

He took a moment to process your words, and finally, to your amazement, burst out laughing. 

You sheepishly smiled at his reaction as your heart felt a little lighter. "That is embarrassing," he agreed with a wide grin. 

The two of you settled on the couch as Bucky's chuckles lessened. He kept the box of macarons between you two, but hesitated to begin the movie.

You sensed his curiosity, and clarified, "I haven't been in a relationship in a very long time. It's been… 2 years I guess… since my last breakup." You took a deep breath, "And my job doesn't exactly leave a lot of time on my hands for dating or one-night-stands."

Bucky seemed to consider your words for what felt like a long time. Finally, he asked quietly, "What does it feel like? To… to want another person… sexually?"

You blinked your eyes, thinking you must have misheard him. But then, his gaze met yours, and you knew his question was sincere.

"It feels like…," you raked your mind in search for the appropriate words, "...like your entire body is on fire, and you need the touch of the other person to quench your thirst. Like, just for a few moments, you want to shut your mind, and let your body think for you."

Bucky nodded slowly as you finished, "But what if you feel that in your heart? And not for your body?"

You squint your eyes at his question, "What do you mean Bucky?"

He placed his head in his hands, "I just… I don't feel like that with anyone. I mean, I don't want to have sex. Trust me I have tried everything. Literally everything. Still I don't feel aroused… I am broken, aren't I? Because this is abnormal, right? No matter how hard I try I will never be normal."

Your heart shattered at his words. You had heard about his horrid nightmares, but to think that he was struggling to accept himself, thinking that he was broken, even when he had so much love to give, was depressing. You could not just stand by and watch.

Gently, you placed a hand on his shoulder, "Bucky, look at me." When he didn't comply, you urged him, "Bucky, you are not broken. It is completely normal to not have any sexual desires."

"No it's not," he scoffed.

"Yes it is," you coerced him, "Do you know what is asexuality? It is the complete absence of sexual desires. Many people-"

He interrupted you, "There is no such thing. You are making this up."

"I am not," you replied indignantly, "Research indicates that more than 1% of the American population is asexual. Also, experts believe that more people might be asexuals because they think that they "haven't found the right person yet"," you ended with air quotes.

With no reaction from him, you sighed and got up, "Do yourself a favour. Use the internet and learn about asexuality. It will help put your mind at ease." You left after giving that piece of advice.

Bucky stayed in the same position for a few moments after your departure. He nibbled on a macaron as he considered the movie playing in front of him. Unable to focus, he promptly shut it all and carried the box to his bed. The macarons disappeared into his mouth as he tossed and turned, feeling restless. 

There was no way asexuality was a thing. If it was, then how come there were no movies, tv shows or even advertisements on asexuality? That's because it wasn't normal, right? Maybe you had just lied to him to make him feel better? Maybe you took pity on him?

He looked at his phone on the table near the tv set, your final words repeating in his head in a loop. The combination of tiredness and laziness encouraged him to take your advice in the morning.

🏳️‍🌈

You didn't see Bucky for 3 days after your fateful encounter with him. The fact that you still had your job at the Avengers Tower meant that he hadn't filed a complaint yet with the HR. And for that you were grateful. Friday came and you found yourself working late, again. It was around 10pm and you were still in your lab, almost done with the work. That's when you heard the small swoosh of the lab doors opening and closing.

You looked up from your table, and found Bucky staring intently at you with his blue eyes. He cleared his throat and tentatively took a step towards you. "You were right," he said slowly, "I researched online, read a few articles and spoke with the in-house therapist. I am an," he took a deep breath, "an asexual."

You closed your laptop and smiled at his confession, "How are you feeling now?"

"Honestly? A little bit better. I feel somewhat free," he admitted while gripping the white bag in his hand a little bit tighter.

"That's great! I am so proud of the progress you have made," you beamed at him, but sensed his hesitance as you neared him.

"What's wrong?" you gently inquired.

"You are… not… I mean… by any chance… asexual?" he winced at his own question.

You chuckled lightly, "No I am not."

"Ahh, then it's okay," he murmured and turned as if to leave.

You stopped him by placing a hand on his firm bicep, "What's going on?"

He shifted on his feet, visibly uncomfortable and anxious, "I was just… no nevermind it's stupid."

"Bucky," you said his name in a stern voice.

He sighed again, "I thought… I mean I owe you a movie because… of that night… and so… you know… would you like to watch it? The movie? But why would you? You deserve better… you are not an asexual. You are normal. Why would you want to go on a date with me?" he finally ended his mumbling.

You looked at him with squinted eyes, trying to decipher what he had muttered. "Did you just say you would like to go on a date with me? But it was stupid because you are an asexual and I am normal?" you blinked as he nodded.

"Who told you that you are not normal?" you asked him, a little irritated, "Bucky look at me." This time he complied, "You. Are. Normal. As normal as me, as the other Avengers or as anybody else in the world. Do not, for even one goddamn second, think that there's something wrong with you because there isn't. Are you listening to me? Am I clear?" you wagged your forefinger at him.

Amused at your outburst, he nodded with a sheepish grin. Clearing his throat, he asked you again, "Would you like to watch a movie with me tomorrow? As a date?"

You placed your hands on your waist, "Yes."

His grin widened as he asked you the next question, "Still mad at me?"

"Uh-huh."

"Maybe these cupcakes will help," he shyly held up the white bag in front of you, "I made sure they were cupcakes," he added with a smirk.

You graciously accepted the bag, "Cupcakes will always help."

"Great! It's a date then. Tomorrow… at 4pm? My apartment?" Bucky suggested.

You agreed, and he left with a goodbye. As soon as he was out of sight, you opened the box, expecting to see the usual cupcakes inside. Instead, you found that the sweet treats were decorated with cute messages such as "U R Cute" , "Be Mine?" , "So Sweet" and so on. Feeling mushy at his adorable gesture, you bit into the sweet treat as you headed back to your apartment.

The next day, you made sure to wear a purple dress, complete with black, grey and white accessories - the colours of the asexual flag. Bucky beamed at you as he welcomed you into his apartment. He had made a snack mix from popcorn, crispy pretzels, chips and nachos, the perfect accompaniment to any movie according to him, and you couldn't agree more.

The pair of you watched The Notebook in silence, except for a few sobs and sniffs here and there and the straight up bawling during the emotional parts of the movie.

After a while, the film ended but your date continued. The two of you talked about everything, right from the meaningful discussions about the government policies to random questions like "which mythical creature would you be and why?"

Soon, it was time for you to head back to your apartment. Bucky offered to walk you and you happily agreed. But before you left, he asked you nervously, "Would you like to have a second date?"

"I would love to," you beamed, "Which movie should we watch the next time?"

He ran his hand in his somewhat disheveled hair, "Uhh… I actually made a date jar. Wait, I will get it."

He brought over a glass jar, filled with tiny bits of folded paper, "I thought we could have dates that start from each English alphabet. We can pick and choose at random from the jar."

Tears pricked the corner of your eyes again at his thoughtful and romantic gesture. You gingerly picked one note from the jar, excited for the adventure that awaited the two of you.

🏳️‍🌈

It took more than 2 years for the pair of you to finish every date in the date jar, except for one. Whether it was jet-skiing in the ocean, taking classes for flamenco dance, him teaching you self-defense or going on a wildlife safari together, you and Bucky finally got through it all. Only the letter "P" was now left.

In these 2 years, any distance between the two of you had practically vanished. Bucky was comfortable in removing his bionic arm in front of you. Moreover, he had started sharing everything with you. Right from his darkest and disturbing nightmares to a pretty butterfly that he may have seen during his missions, Bucky made it a point to ensure that you were a part of his life, and you had absolutely no complaints.

The two of you had also discussed about your sexual desires, and Bucky had been comfortable with you using your sex toys as and when you wished.

Bucky was the perfect boyfriend anybody could ask for. He was considerate, thoughtful, a hardcore feminist and gave the best foot-rubs in the world. And so you were nervous. Nervous because the two of you had never actually sat down to talk about the nature of your relationship. And as the day of the last date loomed nearer, your anxiety increased. At first, you thought of making a second date jar, but he had quickly dismissed the idea, stating that he would be caught up with multiple things after the last date ended.

As you sat in the car that Bucky had sent for you, your apprehension grew. Bucky always picked you up, however this time, he had asked you to come alone in the car. Maybe he wanted to break up with you?

By the time you reached the park it was pitch black. You were sure Bucky had paid the guards to keep the gates of the park open just for you.

As soon as you entered, you saw the pathway lined with 25 lamp posts, leading you towards a breathtaking archway decorated with fairy lights and your favourite flowers.

On every lamp post, a photograph of the two of you - which were taken on your dates - was stuck along with a note. The notes described how he fell in love with you over and over again on every single date. Your progress was slow, as read each of his meticulously written words with tears in your eyes. You collected all of his notes and the photographs, and finally headed towards the lit archway.

When you entered it, the instrumental notes of the song "All of Me" by John Legend reached your ears.

You walked ahead and reached a bend. Upon crossing it, you were showered with rose petals as the live music grew louder. And at the end of the archway, your boyfriend, James Buchanan Barnes, was standing in a tuxedo, looking as sinfully good as the forbidden fruit. The entire area around him was lit with soft fairy lights that cascaded gracefully between tall lamp posts. Even on the ground, small wooden lamps illuminated the grass across the area. A live band was playing the music and your Bucky was standing with the most gorgeous bouquet of red roses that you had ever seen.

Your vision turned blurry as you started crying, and looking at your tears, he started sobbing as well. "No no no I can't cry now," he managed to say between his sobs while giving you his handkerchief, "I have to do this."

He got down on one knee and took your hand in his. You both laughed as you started crying harder. He took a deep breath and said your name, "These 2 years have been the most magical years of my life. You have accepted me as who I am, what I am, and never once tried to change me or make fun of me for it. I never thought I would be treated with the amount of respect that-" he started crying, unable to finish his sentence.

You sat beside him and handed him your kerchief. "Yes," you said with a tear-stained smile.

"Let me ask you first!" he exclaimed between his sobs.

You laughed and wiped your snot as he cleared his throat, "I love you so much. You are the only one I want to-" he started crying again.

"Yes!" you answered his unsaid question.

"I haven't asked you yet!" he exclaimed again as the two of you giggled between your sobs.

"Okay c'mon Bucky you can do this," he muttered to himself as you beamed at him. "Okay," he looked into your eyes and whispered your name, "Will you do me the honour of marrying me and becoming my wife?"

You choked up at finally hearing the words. Rendered speechless, you could only nod as fresh tears escaped your eyes.

"You have to say yes!" he almost shouted with excitement.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!!" you matched his enthusiasm as he slipped a ring onto your finger. His large arms then engulfed you in a bear hug, wrapping you in a safe and secure space for eternity to come.

Permanent tag: @donutloverxo @notyourtypicalrose @just-one-ordinary-fangirl

Bucky taglist: @loustan90

Taglist open! Just comment, send an ask or message!

[ynde]

It was three full months before the new kid worked up the nerve to ask. Three months of working as my personal assistant, following my instructions, building scale models and taking careful notes on the experiments I assigned him. I'd selected him very carefully, for his personal loyalty as well as his raw talent. He was clearly an intelligent lad, so I was sure the question hadn't just occurred to him. I'd had grunts ask it after just one instance of observing our defeat at the hands of the latest hero.

But those were grunts. They could be dismissed with an icy stare and a cold 'are you questioning my methods?' This was my assistant, my trainee, possibly even my successor. I wanted him to ask questions. Politely, of course. But even my brilliance does sometimes fail, and a second mind and pair of eyes are invaluable.

"Excuse me, Doctor Fleichmaw?" He sounded a bit nervous, something he had mostly gotten over when addressing me, so I knew something unusual was coming. I didn't turn my head, since my metallic stare and glowing eyes tend to make people nervous.

"Yes?" I did spare an extra bit of processing power to check the camera with the best angle on him. Avoiding making important underlings nervous is all very well. Not keeping a close eye on what they might be doing that could be causing that nervousness--holding a knife at my back, perhaps?--is idiocy.

"Can, um..." he took a breath, visibly steeling himself in my camera view, then blurted, "Can you tell me why every one of your inventions includes a self destruct button?"

I unfolded the schematic in front of me a bit further, exposing the portion with that exact feature. "Ah. An obvious weak point, making it easy for our enemies to destroy our hard work. You aren't the first person to ask, of course."

I watched as he swallowed and went visibly paler. Good. He'd heard how I wired my last assistant up with her own personal self destruct button, then. The conniving fool had attempted to turn my own super robot on me, proving herself not only untrustworthy but also far, far too stupid for her position since she hadn't spotted even a third of my security measures.

I kept talking as if I couldn't see him. There was no reason to draw attention to my near-universal awareness of everything happening in the lab. "What do you think my ultimate goal is, Cuthbert?"

"Wh...um, to...to supplant the government?"

"Good. That's what everyone is supposed to think." I began folding the schematic back up completely. He was ready. Probably. "But consider for a moment, Cuthbert. Governing is time consuming, stressful, and boring. I would either have to delegate nearly everything or give up my experiments and inventions and waste my time and energy on making whatever portion of the world I had control over actually function. Economies, tax systems, import and export, foreign relations, military spending, all of it."

In my camera eye I could see the tiny frown line appear in his forehead, but he didn't say anything, just waiting for me to continue explaining. A very intelligent lad.

"Obviously I can't give up my work," I said. "So I've chosen to delegate all of that governing nonsense. And the people I have chosen to delegate it to are the ones already in charge. They're doing a decent job of it. The economy is ticking along, people are living and being educated, working and raising families. All the things you need for a functioning modern society." I turned around, mostly so he could see that I was smiling slightly, but also because I get just a bit of pleasure out of seeing people flinch when I stare at them unexpectedly.

"Of course, the drawback is that I can't simply make demands and have them automatically respected. I don't have dictatorial powers. What I do have is a lot of fear-based respect. I'm walking a fine line here. Enough fear that when I make demands those demands can't be ignored. Enough that I can force compromises and get at least some of what I want. Enough to convince a lot of wealthy malcontents to give me their monetary donations. But not so much fear that they will ever really feel they have to take me out entirely.

"And that is where the self-destruct buttons come in." I reached behind me and lifted the schematic I had been studying, now folded neatly. "This could flatten half the city if we built and used it. Which would do serious damage to the ability of the local economy to supply the things I need to continue my work. Why would I want that? No. I build the inventions, and test them, and at that point I've gotten what I really want from them. Hopefully my tests reminds the poor fools running the government that I am to be taken seriously."

I waved my hand at the scorch mark on the floor where the last invention had been taken out mere days ago. "The self destruct button ensures that anyone sent to deal with the threat we pose is able to do so with a minimum of collateral damage. The invention is destroyed; nothing else is. Beyond perhaps a plate glass window or a guard or two." I shrugged. "It's all part of maintaining that careful balance. I get what I really want: respect, fear, money, and the ability to carry out a great many technically illegal experiments with minimal disruption."

The shock on his face had shifted slightly. His mouth was still open, but that was dawning comprehension and, maybe...? respect. Good. I'd have to watch him very carefully for a while, of course. Make sure he was fully on-board with the plan and not about to betray me. But I did that with all my employees anyway. It wasn't as if the fact I was this one's mother was going to change that.

Your workers always ask “Why do you put a self destruct button on your inventions?” Tired of their questioning, you decide to explain why it’s perfectly rational.

[callmeunstable]

Angels & Demons - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Characters: Reader

Summary: She finds herself in the middle of a unknown forest after falling asleep. It seems like a normal forest until she gets to meet a mystical creature that welcomes her in a different world.

Warnings: Monsters, Cursing, Blood

Words: 2.000+

A/N: Hey! This is my first fic and I decided to place it in the universe of the greatest of the greatest. Geralt of Rivia! I don’t know where this will go 100%, but I know it’s going to be interesting. 😄 The reader starts of in our modern world and stumbles into the universe of The Witcher. I take my information mostly from the books and games but my fic is set based of the Netflix series so it’s basically beginners friendly.☺️

Disclaimer: GIF’s and PNG’s are taken from Tumblr and are not mine! Credits to the creators!

Song:

“Two face, two face, yeah Black, white, left, right, yeah Up, down, all night, yeah Can't escape it ever Don't forget my name I don't feel the same On a trip, no train“

The music made her headphones vibrate. Probably loud enough for everyone around her to hear. If there was anyone. She was alone, hiking in the forest. It was what she always did when her anxiety got the best of her. The city is loud and dirty, squeezed full with people that never look around. Never realizing what was going on in the real world. At least what that’s what they called their reality. She always thought it was foolish to believe that they were alone in this big of a universe. Impossible.

Some stones here and there made her trip but she didn’t stop. She knew where she wanted to go and she didn’t intend to stop before she reached her destination. Kicking some branches out of the way and silently passing other hikers that greeted her with waving hand. She didn’t like the people in the city. All of them were selfish and money orientated. Of course, so tried to earn some money as a health center receptionist at her university but only to keep her head above water. Her focus was on her degree in medicine. She wanted to be able to afford a good life for her and her dad.

“And all these angels and demons Keep shoutin' and screamin' I'm fallin' from Eden”

She slowed down and let herself down on the ground.  Pulling her knees to her stomach and breathing in the fresh air of the trees. The pollution caused by cars and all of these different companies laying behind her. Closing her eyes and trying not to fall asleep. Her insomnia got worse on hot summer days like these. The missing air conditioning in her dorm room made it even worse. Two hours have to be enough to function. She couldn’t wait for the autumn to start. For the leaves to fall. And the crowds to shrink

“So fuck me like a rockstar, dancing on a cop car Nothin' in the world can stop me now Fucked up like a rockstar, riding in a cop car No one in the world can help me out-“

Her music was cut short and her eyes gazed at the screen. The Battery was almost empty. With an annoyed groan, she took off her backpack searching for her power bank. The only good thing summer had for her was the power of the sun being strong enough to charge the battery of the device. Still having her headphones in her ears. Just in case someone stumbled across and wanted to have a conversation. The easiest way to ignore people without seeming too harsh.

Her glance went up, analyzing anything she was able to catch. The mountains far back on the horizon hugged by a thick layer of clouds that protected them from any unwanted attention. The distance colored them in a blueish gray tone that would capture a lot of people. At least the ones who noticed and wanted to have a peerless experience.

Some strange black orbs were able to sneak into her daydream making her once again face the consequences of her lack of sleep. Slowly blinking she took a look at her watch. 2 pm. Still early. She just wanted to close her eyes for a few more minutes. To help her find her lost energy. Just in case she set her alarm for an hour and put her phone in the pocket of her pants. - “Everybody said that I'm falling, uh Took another line, I'm calling, uh I'm so sick of the nonsense, uh I'ma dive into the mosh pit, uh I don't really think I'm the problem I don't really think it's a problem Me plus me is a problem One gunshot could solve 'em Tell my friends I'm sorry though T-T-T-Tell my sins to go. And all these angels and demons Keep shoutin' and screamin' I'm fallin' from Eden”

The tones of her favorite song woke her up. Her headphones got disconnected while she was asleep. With panic caused by the rush of adrenaline, she paused the music. Taking a deep breath and enjoying the silence again. Her arms were stretched above her head and a yawn made it through her mouth. Slowly gaining back clear vision she looked up again. But something was different. The dusk was slowly setting in.

She failed to set her alarm correctly. But it could be worse, she wasn’t doing anything special today anyway. As she was standing up she looked for the mountains in the far, however, her view was blocked. Big deciduous trees rose in front of her. Maybe she fell asleep in a different place? A little far more into the forest? 

She got herself up and started walking her way back. At least what she thought was the right way. Somehow everything looked a little different. As different as forests could look like. The hiker trail was gone. Slowly breathing away her risen heartbeat she tried to focus. It’s just the forest how bad can it be? She always found her way out of it. She got lost a couple of times whilst exploring new paths but still. The air felt different. Not as heavy as she was used to. The trees were able to give her better oxygen as in the city but they just couldn’t hold all of the smog back.

Her feet automatically began to walk faster and faster as time went by and nothing seemed familiar anymore. She tried to find her starting point again but that seemed rather impossible right now. There was still a lot of light left but everything seemed strange.

She started to run. Jumping over the rocks and logs that blocked her way. As she was trying to bridge over the next log she wasn’t able to see the small lowering that led to her stumbling and rolling a couple of feet down. ‘Great, just great.’ 

Her thoughts were sarcastic, helping her to cope with the panic rising in her throat.

She looked up and let out a short scream. Some big bright yellow eyes were looking at her from above. They belonged to a child with pale blue skin. At least it looked like a child. She didn’t dare to move one muscle, staring at the creature in front of her.

It was barely as tall as a 9-year-old and it’s skin made it look like it was suffocating. A rough crown made out of sticks sat on top of its head. It wore some pants that had seen better days. They seemed to be made out of a cheap fabric that was ripped in several places. A green scarf was hanging from its neck. 

“Hello.” It could speak. His mouth was stretched to wild smile.

“It’s been some time since an ol’ villager got lost in ma forest. That was some fall you had. Are you alright?” Still staring at the creature she tried to get her words together.

“Ehm…yes I tripped and fell. I don’t think I’m hurt. Thank you.”

“Good to hear. So what’s your name? I’m James.”

She hesitated. She didn’t even know if this creature was human. She couldn’t trust just anyone.

“Alva. My name is Alva.”

“Nice to meet you, Alva. So what did ya run away from? Thought the Drowners were after ya.” Drowners? What the fuck are Drowners?

“Yeah so. Excuse me the question but you seem rather … blue?” She was scared to ask something like this but this little creature seemed friendly.

“Oh that. Have you never seen a good ol’ Godling? Because that’s just what I am indeed.” The little boy laughed and seemed to be happy to have found some company.

“That is a Godling?”

“You never heard of us amazing Godling?”

The little blue boy explained to her that Godlings are woodland creatures dwelling in burrows and moss-covered hollow stumps on the outskirts of human settlements. They are deeply rooted in their home territory and perform acts of care and guardianship to those dwelling near their burrows. They watch over people as well as animals, but, shy creatures by nature, they try to do so while remaining unseen. Godlings are drawn to joy and innocence, and so delight in the company of children and usually only show themselves to the young.

“That’s why I am talking to ya. You seem fun. At least you look funny.” The boy started to walk around her while lifting her flannel and poking her skin.

‘He’s the one looking like a tall version of a smurf. What is he talking about?’ Her thought rushes inside of her head, making her regaining the feeling of dizziness.

“So you’re telling me you’re some kind of magical creature as in Harry Potter?” The girl tried to order her thoughts by sitting down and trying to hold on to the facts the little guy was telling her. Maybe she was in a coma? Or dreaming? Possibly. These are the only explanations she could come up with.

“I don’t know anyone called Harry Potter. Is he a friend of yours?”

“Ok, listen up. You’re probably just part of my imagination so why don’t we have some fun while it lasts?” As long as she sleeping and lucid dreaming she could at least make the best out of it.

“Yes, let’s have some fun! I love singing, I love music! I heard some strange melody coming from your direction. That’s how I found you.” James started to do some little happy jumps and clapping.

“Oh, you mean this?” Alva took her phone out of her pocket and showed it to him.

“What witchy device is that suppose to be?”

“No magic. Technology. Let me show you.” She pressed on some Icons and song from earlier continued.

“So fuck me like a rockstar, dancing on a cop car Nothin' in the world can stop me now Fucked up like a rockstar, riding in a cop car No one in the world can help me out.”

The little one danced to the music and showed off some rather random dance moves. Spinning in circles, jumping up and down and throwing his hands in the air.

Still thinking of her lucid dreaming she joined her little Godling friend. Turning the music louder and louder they enjoyed themselves.

Until a growl broke the peace of the music. But both James and Alva were to focused on having von dancing to notice some strange noises. They didn’t hear it, down to the moment when the girl got hit by something sharp, making her fall to the ground.

“Don’t stop dancing Alva, you’re no fun.” The Godling still didn’t realize that Alva was sitting on the ground covering her bleeding upper arm with her hand. Looking up she saw the scariest creature she could’ve imagined. 

In front of her is standing a sickly blue or green colored human, with slime and sludge oozing out of every pore and the acrid stench of rot wafting off of it. No, that wasn’t a human.

“James! What the fuck is that?” The girl cried for help.

Finally objectifying the situation, James was hurrying towards the creature when it rose its arm for another attack.

Covering her face Alva started to realize that this is the moment she was going to die. You can’t get hurt in a dream. That is just not possible. Her arm was on fire, giving her a pain she never had felt in her entire life. This was real. Waiting for the next hit but it never came.

Slowly she opened her eyes to see only James in front of her. The monster not in sight.

“Where did he-?” Completely shocked by the situation and being unable to talk, Alva starred at the boy.

“Don’t underestimate the power of a Godling. Nothing comes between me and my forest. And since you stumbled in it you’re a part of it.” He looked down at her bleeding arm and his eyebrows furrowed.

“You need a healer. As much as I’d love to I can’t heal it.”

The words barely got to the girl. She was scared for her life. She never believed something like this could happen. But one thing she knew for sure. This wasn’t her reality.

“And all these angels and demons Keep shoutin' and screamin' I'm falling from Eden.”

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Demons - D. Malfoy

Warning: VERY BRIEF MENTION OF SELF HARM

It is currently 1:46 AM here in Sydney, and my eyes are hanging out of my head but here we are. I apologize for any tired typos.

The lovely @starshonerose and I adore Mr Malfoy (who totally deserved a redemption but yknow) and my Slytherin ass just HAD to write something for Draco based off of Demons by Imagine Dragons.

Hope my fellow Potter Heads enjoy.

And to all of my followers, love you and goodnight.

Original story by Sarcastically-defensive17

His shaky hands grasped the porcelain basin. He fought his eyes to remain forward, but every time he glanced in the direction of his arm the toxic symbol stared back at him.

He was forever marked, and there was nothing he could do to defy the branding. Nor could he defy the dark lord.

His grey eyes stared back at him, and he felt sick as he spotted the red veins that stretched across the white of his eyes. They stood out in stark contrast to the purple circles underneath the orbs.

His skin was more pale than usual, almost blending in to his white blonde hair, and in that moment he could only think of two things.

One: how much he hated his father, and two: how determined he was to keep her away from this nonsense.

If he was to go to his death because of his fathers choices then he would do that on his own. He wouldn’t drag Y/N into it and risk the Dark Lord getting his hands on her.

She was too pure.

When the days are cold, and the cards all fold, and the saints we see are all made of gold.

He was surrounded by people who worshipped Voldemort. People who wanted to eradicate all of impure blood and who believed Wizards were superior to Muggles.

He thought the same until she came along.

She was the most interesting Half-Blood he had ever met, and he was enamored by her almost as soon as she sat next to him in Potions the previous year.

He had seen her in the Slytherin common room and in other classes, but he had his head metaphorically shoved too far up his arse to know anything other than his self-absorbed nonsense.

Now, he was her light while everyone around him hailed the worst wizard of all time.

When your dreams all fail and the ones we hail are the worst of all, and the blood's run stale.

Soft footsteps echoed behind him. He knew who it was before even casting a look in the direction.

Of course she would find him, after all, she had access to the prefects bathroom as much as he.

“Draco? Darling?” Her soft voice echoed off of the tiles, and he felt his body relax at the sound of her. He almost turned to her, but he realized the mark on his arm was close to being in her view.

If she stepped closer, or looked in the mirror at the right angle, she would see what he wanted to keep hidden.

“I’m fine, Y/N.” He was short with her. He hoped maybe, if he angered her enough she would leave.

Maybe she would leave him. Then it would hurt her less when he met his fate.

He was a death eater after all.

He could selfishly cast her away to make things easier for himself, or he could push her away to save her the pain of losing him.

If she would feel the pain at all.

I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you but with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide. No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed.

She inches closer to him and he made the move to hide his arm from her sight, moving his hands quickly to reef his sleeves down to his wrists.

“Darling, you can always talk to me,” he jumped as she places a soft hand on his shoulder. “Always.”

Her touch sent his nerves alight, and he could feel the warmth spreading through his body. It was a calming heat, unlike the near constant burning that erupted under his branding.

He could always find comfort in her presence.

If only he didn’t feel the need to defy the Dark Lord. Then he wouldn’t be expecting death.

This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come.

He couldn’t stop his body from jolting away from her warmth. It felt unnatural. It felt selfish.

How could he allow himself to revel in her presence when he knew he is hurting her in the long run.

Her mother is a muggle born. The same type of people his father is hell bent on eradicating along side Voldemort.

He isn’t worthy of being around somebody so perfect.

He turned away from her hurt expression, but he could see her lower her hand slowly in the reflection of the mirror.

“Please leave,” he choked out, blinking tears out of his eyes.

She pinched her brows together, walking around to his front and placing her hand on his arm again. Only for it to be shaken off.

When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It’s where my demons hide; it’s where my demons hide.

He couldn’t bear to meet her eyes. He knew that she could tell he wasn’t okay by his appearance alone but one look into his red rimmed orbs and he would break down. She could always see through the window of his soul.

“Draco, please,” she was begging.

“I need you to go. Please.” When she didn’t move, he knew he needed to try harder. He clenched his jaw, daring to look into her eyes. Her face dropped. “I want you to go. I don’t want you near me.”

She placed her hands on either side of his face, laughing as if he told her a secret joke, “Is this another one of your tricks. Tell me what is wrong, my love. You look like you’ve been crying for hours.”

Don't get too close; it's dark inside. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.

“There is nothing wrong. Why do you never listen?” He snapped.

Guilt swelled in his stomach as she recoiled. Any other girl would let their eyes pool with tears if he snapped at them. Many girls had many times before in the past.

“I’m trying to listen. Why won’t you tell me what is wrong?” Her voice was strong. She was a true slytherin.

She didn’t buckle under pressure. She didn’t give up easily. She was the strongest woman he knew and he adored every aspect of her fiery personality.

He knew he needed to get her to walk away from him. He needed to make her hate him, so when the dark lord grew tired of him or found out that he loves the daughter of a mudblood, she will be less affected.

“The only thing that is wrong with me, is you.” For the first time, he saw her face shift in emotion. “You’re suffocating me. You’re too needy.”

He was venomous. Y/N’s eyes glazed over before hardening.

“I can’t stand to be around you,” he practically snarled at her but she knew his eyes told a different story completely. He was hiding something, and she was determined to get the truth out of the man.

“You don’t mean that,” he turned to walk away from her, but he tended completely when she clasped her hand around his forearm.

A sharp hiss escaped his lips, and tears flooded his eyes as the burning intensified at her touch.

At the curtain's call it's the last of all. When the lights fade out, all the sinners crawl. So they dug your grave and the masquerade will come calling out at the mess you've made.

He always appeared so strong and stoic on the outside, but he allowed her to get to know him. She could see right through him, and at the moment he regretted it so much.

“Draco?” Her time was accusatory and as he turned to face her he couldn’t contain his emotions any more.

“Im sorry. I’m so sorry,” the tears held in his eyes began to cascade down his porcelain cheeks.

Y/N busied her hands with his sleeve, raising it up to determine if there was an injury of some kind. Her mind raced to the worst scenario, expecting to find self inflicted wounds.

Instead, she found something just as bad.

A gasp left her lips and she dropped his arm from her fingers, choosing instead to cover her mouth in fear.

Draco’s knees crumpled underneath him and he let himself collapse on the ground, sobs shaking his body violently.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t want to, I didn’t want it. They made me. They made me do it. They made me do it,” his words blended together, the tone wet through his sobs.

Don't wanna let you down, but I am hell-bound. Though this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth. No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed...

She lowered herself to the ground, wrapping her arms around his shoulder delicately.

She shushed him in a soft manner, “it’s okay, Draco. It’s okay.”

“You should hate me,” he sobbed against her shoulder, staining her uniform with tears. “I want you to hate me. I need you to not care about me.”

“What did you mean?” She received no answer, so she placed her hands on either side of his - now blotchy - face and raised his head to be level with hers. “You didn’t choose this, Draco.”

“No, but I said yes to what they want me to do. But I can’t do it.”

She fixed her eyes on his grey ones. It was almost as if she could see the internal demons floating through ever bloodshot vein in his stunning eyes.

“What do they want you to do?” Her heart stalled forever a minute in anticipation.

“Kill Dumbledore,” more tears fell. “But I can’t do it. They’re going to kill me if I don’t, Y/N.”

This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come.

The time had passes by quickly, and Draco stood opposite the man he was tasked with killing. His wand was heavy in his palm, and with each second the branding on his arm burned with a more intense ferocity than before.

The Dark Lord had his claws sunken in the boy and there was no escape.

They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate. It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go. Your eyes, they shine so bright, I wanna save that light. I can't escape this now, unless you show me how.

Y/N stood by his side, just out of his view. He didn’t know she would be there with him, as he had specifically asked her to stay away.

He wanted to preserve the light within her as long as he possibly could. Even if she refused to leave him after he commits the most important murder known to the Wizarding World.

She watched as Draco battled with himself. She knew he didn’t want to kill the headmaster who had provided him an escape from his torturous family for so many years.

Dumbledore had been a mentor and a confidant for the boy, and it would kill him to take his life.

Draco raised his wand, and she could see his hand shake.

They could both hear the death eaters begin to scale the steps, and if they saw Draco hesitate then it would not be good for her Love.

Instead, she made a decision that would seal her fate alongside Draco’s forever.

When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.

She raised her wand, cedar wood, 10”, and muttered the most unforgivable of all the curses.

“Avada Kedavra,” green light emerged from the tip of her wand, and she fought back tears as it struck the chest of her headmaster.

The older man fell backwards, gravity taking his body down.

Don't get too close; it's dark inside. It's where my demons hide.

She did it for him. She knew she would never be able to forgive herself, but so long as it didn’t add to the large burden plaguing Draco’s conscience, then she could handle it.

So long as his demons were easier to manage.

“I love you,” she whispered through her tears, holding the blonde boy close as they wept for the death that was on their hands.

“I love you, too,” Draco replied.

No matter how hard he tried, Y/N would stick by him.

She would battle his demons for him, despite her own taking control.

it's where my demons hide

[alghawy7blog]

best way to start youtube channel (Just 10 tips)

When we talk about YouTube, the first thing that crosses our minds is that we want to create a successful YouTube channel, and whoever of us does not want that, you become famous and you have a lot of fans and you get a decent income and when you hear someone saying to you I do not want that, he is definitely lying to you Yes, my friend Dear today, I will talk to you about the best 10 tips to start your journey in being a successful YouTuber and believe me. These tips are carefully thought out and I will also leave you a full course at the end of the topic if you feel that these tips are not enough for you to start your journey in the world of YouTube

Top 10 Tips for Starting a Successful YouTube Channel

(Tip 1) Plan your content

When you want to start a successful YouTube channel, you should think of a solid plan to start the channel that is not a single video plan or only a week’s plan, but a complete, comprehensive plan in all aspects such as the channel’s title, video title, description, keywords, etc. of these important things as well as you should choose the channel’s topic about what It consists and the channel content must definitely be proportional to the channel image, channel videos, channel topics and video titles, so my friend, there is no successful channel on the YouTube platform that did not lie in its beginning on a plan for its success so my friend If you want to start a successful YouTube channel, go grab a paper and pen and start plans for your channel Successful from A to Z and with all the details you never miss a thing.

(Tip 2) Arm yourself with the right equipment

Suitable equipment like what do you think? Certainly the camera, lighting and sound, you should when you start your YouTube channel and you want success, your ally, to have these three main equipment. If one of these equipment is absent, I will not tell you that your channel will fail or so, but you will see results other than the results you expected when you were planning your channel, as we said in The first advice is, therefore, it is important to have suitable equipment with appropriate quality, but there is nothing wrong in the beginning with a simple mike, a simple camera, or a simple light, but with starting to make a little income from your channel, you should definitely start developing the channel, so this was the second advice Do not forget this basic equipment In your beginning.

(Tip 3) Look for inspiration

When we talk about searching for inspiration, we mean to pursue new ideas, not to start imitating this and that, because surely a successful person does not walk after anyone, but rather creates his own path. Likewise, you, my friend, must search for your inspiration, your personality and your thoughts, and share them with your followers. In YouTube, such a successful YouTuber, you can search for inspiration, such as standing on the edge of a lake, meditating and thinking, and with this thing you will have a lot of mythical ideas that will come to your brain. Trust me, my friend. When you want to start a successful YouTube channel, you must be the one who creates his own way, not to go and copy an idea From another YouTuber, and you hope to succeed, you can succeed, not be in one condition, and let's copy the idea and develop it, but I personally do not prefer this method, so it is for us to the next advice. Do not forget the previous advice.

(Tip 4) Make every second count

Maybe you will ask me how? Ok, my friend, do not get confused when you want to make every second important, this means that you do not go too long in the introduction of the video and speak nonsense, and without without without. Make the introduction of your videos average 3 minutes because any follower is not ready to hear a story outside the subject of the video for 5 or 6 minutes, and it is all nonsense And without without blas, so if you do not make every second important in your videos, you will see a lot of dislikes and criticisms because you do not enter the topic quickly, so I advise you if you are a fan of lengthening videos, you should even provide information for your follow-up, not knowing what the information is, but anything but Nonsense, I personally, if you enter a video and see someone who talks a lot and does not enter into the topic, I submit the video for a minute or two as a minimum, so this means making every second important.

(Tip 5) Start with a simple editing program

Yes, when you want to start on YouTube, you certainly know that 99.9 percent of YouTube videos have been edited even with an intro, or anything that is almost impossible to see someone publishing a clip without even modifying a point on it, so when we talk about producing videos, Certainly, after the video production stage, we need to edit or modify it, even if it is simple, so it's okay to start with a simple editing program on your computer, but I know for sure that you may not know any skill in editing videos so don't worry so I told you that I have a full course for you if this is The tips did not work, and I am not going to teach you of course everything. Just some advice. You can go and watch the course. He will teach you everything only from here. So let's go to the next advice. Do not forget what we said in the previous advice.

(Tip 6) Improve your videos

When you want to improve your videos, this means a few things we mean in each video that you should take into account (the title, description and thumbnail). The title must be attractive. It should not be a static title that does not give any incentive for the viewer to click on the video and watch it, but rather it must be a title. It contains attractive words, for example, look at these two titles: Watch how I jumped from a 100-story tower, or you can't believe I jumped from a 100-story tower, see what happened to me. The description helps your videos reach more people and more viewers, so your videos do not have to contain a description or description with only two words, but rather they must contain many words by lines and put the link of other videos for you and the links of your pages on social media, etc. I mean, it should be Description is a place full of important and important links and keywords, so do not be underestimated. Likewise, the thumbnail here is more than 50 percent of the viewer's desire to click on your videos, so you must put an attractive and stimulating thumbnail for the viewer to Click on the video, and let's move on to the next advice, of course, without forgetting the previous advice.

(Tip 7) Build your network

When you become famous and start life by walking with you, you will start on the path to fame, so for sure you need social media accounts such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc., about which you will publish your life and your diary. This is not a choice for you. When you reach that stage of fame and believe me, you will arrive and if you feel that you will not You arrive, I guarantee you that you will reach, trust yourself that you are able and raise your spirits, so when you arrive, you will feel the taste of victory, then they will start following you by asking you to publish your diary on social networking sites and your fan base will start to grow more and more and you will link your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube account to each other and each account will do its turn for more Growth and you will see an increase in your followers on Instagram and on this, you will build your base and your own network, no one will be able to ask you for anything that will be happy in your life and you will also start to make money from Instagram and your other accounts. Just imagine with me, my friend, the amount of happiness that you will have at that time for that I advise you not to be underestimated at the beginning, because everything applies to the beginning, correct, method, correct, end, true, this is what you want. Therefore, from the first time you create your channel, you must create a large fan base and your own network that One day, you will grow in front of your eyes, and you will start to reap a lot of profits and a lot of returns, whether material or moral, and let's go to the following advice. Do not forget the previous advice.

(Tip 8) Connect with your viewers

Communicate with your viewers, and by that I mean you should stay in touch with your viewers on YouTube, interact with them, write to them, put hearts to their comments, continue to respond to their comments, and do not leave them for a long time, especially if you do not tell them such as missing a month or a week without any justification, you will see a decrease in views They will not be satisfied with you very much, and you will see when you return they tell you why you disappeared for a month or a week or anything until you want to be absent in a correct way. You must before that tell them how long and why and why you love them and want to stay with them, but this circumstance forced you to be absent for this period in this way they will love you more and they will get attached You will say this is a person who respects us very much and is very honest and provides very good meanings. In this way, you will gain their satisfaction, and the views will not decrease or you see negative effects on your channel and when you come back they will welcome you and say to you welcome back, my friend, I missed you and from these things I think you understood me so these things are important to stay in touch With your followers, in this way, your channel is very successful and earns the respect of your followers and enjoys the views and the world is wonderful. Let's go to the following advice, do not forget the previous advice.

(Tip 9) Ignore all negative comments

With your trip on YouTube, how do you see people who love you and wonderful and motivational comments, as well as you will see a lot of people who are negative, breakers of dreams, and destroy aspirations, who all care about focusing on your mistakes. You feel for a moment that they want a person without even making a mistake even with a point that came out of the line so I tell you from now, do not be surprised and must You should ignore all these comments, but on the contrary, these instructions are for you as an incentive to continue, as someone I heard behind every successful person says, people attack and destroy him, so my friend, the essence of everything has continued patience and continuity and do not turn back

(Tip 10) Download videos regularly

Since you want a successful YouTube channel, you should regularly upload videos because the YouTube platform's algorithms require a person who is worthy and continuous to download videos, especially daily, so I advise you, since you want your success in this field, to continue to upload videos regularly because this will help you spread more and more and the issue of success It is just a matter of when success is coming, but there is a difference between succeeding in a year and succeeding in the same success in 5 years. The difference is someone regularly uploading videos and another uploading a video every month or every few weeks. So I tell you, do not rush the results, success is coming, but you have to continue and regular In uploading videos to succeed as quickly as possible.

Here we have finished 10 tips. I hope you liked my pen alghawy7blog. Thank you for reading here. If you feel that you want more information to succeed on YouTube or want more tips or practical steps and videos, I advise you to go to this course here. This course is comprehensive. It will exclude you from all other courses, and after you watch this course, you will succeed 100% on YouTube, so I advise you to see it.

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