#Is that how a mother feels choosing her favorite child?
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pickingupmymercedes · 4 months ago
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I just found your page and been reading all your pieces. You're so good girl, you have to believe me. I was wondering whats your favorites writings you've done? Like, your favorite fluf, angs, series, nsfw. etc
Hi!!! Omg thank you thank you ❤️❤️
And for my favorites, that's hard bc I have attachment to all of them but
Gun to my head my favorite NSFW is probably It's Mrs. Hamilton (with a soft spot for I want South , As good as chocolate and My mark )
Maybe in another life and She's here and she's ours (for series)
I didn't get scared. I'm always scared (for angst)
Boy from Stevenage (for fluff)
Special mention to All these little things , with some of my favorite snippets I've ever written
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thelostconsultant · 2 months ago
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Instant dad - part 1
pairing: Oscar Piastri x ex!reader
summary: You have no choice but to tell Oscar he has a five years old son. Now he wants to be a part of his life to make things complicated...
note: Oscar is in his early 30s, so yeah, there's a time jump.
[pilot]
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A bit over a week later Oscar was sitting in his rented car in the school’s parking lot, thinking about how this conversation could go. According to you, they were aware of the fact he had not known Oliver existed until recently, so he hoped they didn’t expect him to talk about what he was like. Sure, over the past week he asked you about him, he wanted to prepare for meeting him, but they hadn’t met in person. How could he know what to say? After taking a deep breath, he got out and went inside, feeling more nervous than he did when he was getting in the car before a race.
If he was this nervous now, what would he feel like before meeting his son? 
Spending years in a boarding school prepared him for this meeting, and the principal was everything he imagined him to be. He was polite, not making a fuss over the fact he was–let’s say–famous. He even apologized for the mess he caused, saying he understood it was probably quite a shock for him, but this was the protocol, and they couldn’t make an exception. Oscar kept nodding, even assuring him it was okay, although deep down he was still confused and unsure of things. 
All of this despite his conversation with his mother, who had been overjoyed when she saw a video of Oliver, saying he was truly just like him, and she couldn’t wait to have the chance to meet her grandchild in person. But she also told him maybe this was the best thing that could happen to him. Having a child is truly an experience, and since he was still five, they had the chance to have a wonderful relationship. “You say he loves F1. Just imagine how happy he would be if he could go to some race weekends with you. You could teach him so much about racing, and you could bond over that,” she said. 
After he parked in front of your house in the afternoon, Oscar went to the trunk to get everything he brought with himself. From signed merch from both himself and Lando–just to be sure–to toy racing cars, he had a wide variety of gifts. Something will hopefully become a favorite, an item that he would keep close to himself. Maybe he went overboard, maybe he could’ve brought only one thing, but he had no idea what Oliver liked, so he couldn’t pick just one item. 
“Please, don’t tell me you brought all this for him.”
He looked up with a questioning hum, only to find you standing next to him on the sidewalk. Seeing you again brought back memories of your time together, of all of your little adventures during the short time you spent together, and he couldn’t help but wonder if you fled because you found out you were pregnant. If you didn’t leave him so suddenly, would things be different now? Would you be a big happy family? 
Clearing his throat, he flashed a sheepish smile at you. “I couldn’t choose,” he admitted as he grabbed the duffel bag and followed you to the front door. He couldn’t help but wonder what he could expect, and he had to ask you the most important thing. “Did you tell him that he was meeting his father today?” You nodded. That was good. “Is he excited?”
You bit on your lower lip as you watched him, clearly thinking about how to answer the question. But after a short break, you let out a sigh. “He’s a little confused, I think. My boyfriend, Alejandro, met him when he was only two, the three of us spent a lot of time together, and he moved in last year. Oliver… He assumed my boyfriend was his dad, which in a way he is, but we had to sit him down and explain the situation to him,” you said, looking sad all of a sudden. 
It was clear now why you were so against telling Oliver the truth. You wanted him to be close to your boyfriend, and you were probably afraid things between them would change once he got into the picture. Maybe you were even afraid things between you and your boyfriend would change too. He couldn’t blame you for that, but now that he knew he had a son, Oscar wanted to be a part of his life. He didn’t want to be some asshole who ignored his own blood. 
Once inside, he put the bag on the floor and followed you to the living room where Oliver was watching some cartoon on TV. Now that he saw him in person, he felt warmth spread through his body, because this kid looked exactly like he did at his age. You cleared your throat next to him to get your son’s attention, and when the kid noticed him, his eyes grew wide from surprise. He got off the couch and slowly walked over to them, his eyes never leaving his face as he tried to process who their guest was. 
“Hello, Oliver,” Oscar said as he crouched down. 
“You’re Oscar Piastri!” he yelled excitedly. 
Oscar couldn’t help but chuckle at this. “I am.”
You reached out to ruffle your son’s hair, then leaned down to be on somewhat eye level with him. “Honey, remember when I said your daddy was going to jump in to see you?” The little boy nodded. “It’s Oscar. He’s your dad,” you told him softly.
Suddenly the excitement was replaced by disbelief, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of you as he tried to process what he’d just been told. The corners of Oscar’s lips curled into a smile as he watched him, waiting patiently for the child’s decision. 
“So he’s my dad?” Oliver asked, earning a nod from you. “Does this mean I’m a Piastri?” It was Oscar’s turn to nod. “Mom, why am I not called Piastri?”
His eyes moved over to you just in time to see you gulp, clearly having trouble figuring out what to say to that. He couldn’t blame you for your confusion, it probably hadn’t occurred to you that one day you would have to respond to this question. With a kind smile, he put a hand on your arm, then turned to his son. “Because I’ve been away for a little too long. But I’m here, your mom and I can discuss if we could change that if you want,” he finished, barely daring to glance up at you, expecting to meet an angry look in your eyes.
But you didn’t look angry, if anything, you seemed relieved that he came to your rescue. There was a glint in your eyes, though, that told him you weren’t happy that Oliver brought up his surname. As he thought about it, it occurred to him that you had mentioned how you considered your boyfriend to be his father in a way, so maybe you would have rather given him his name. 
You placed a soft kiss on your son’s head, then informed him that you would leave the two of them alone so they could get to know each other. Father and son watched you leave the room, then he turned back to the child with a smile. “I brought you some things. Wanna see them?” he asked him, and when the little boy nodded, he went to grab his bag. 
As he opened the zipper, Oliver stood by his side, watching his every move with a happy smile on his face. Oscar pulled out the gifts, one by one, and couldn’t hold back his laugh as he watched his son proudly wearing his new baseball cap and shirt as he examined the toy car in his small hands. He began to talk about the last race, excitedly recounting the most memorable moments, including the end when his father crossed the finish line first. His big brown eyes turned to him, then he said that he was so happy he was here. 
When he wrapped his short arms around him, Oscar did the same and even pressed a kiss on the kid’s head. There was undeniably a certain connection between them that he couldn't explain, but they both knew it was there, otherwise his son probably wouldn't be this chill with the idea of being alone with a stranger. Okay, that and the fact he was his favorite driver.
They sat down in the middle of the living room, and Oliver decided to talk about his favorite books, proudly telling his father that he knew how to read, and that according to you and your boyfriend he was really good at it. “The other kids can barely read yet,” he said with a smug smile, “and I'm already learning math!”
“Do you know how to play chess?” Oscar asked him, but the boy only shook his head. “I should teach you. I started when I was younger than you, and my mom refused to play with me after a while.”
“Because you were so good?” 
With a shrug, he stretched his arms above his head. “I don't know, but I guess I was better than her. Not sure about other people, though,” he admitted with a warm smile.
Oliver let out a thoughtful hum. “Is she as awesome as my mom?” he suddenly asked, looking back at him. 
A laugh escaped him at the thought, which made his son tilt his head to the side in question. “That depends on who you ask. She loves to embarrass me online, which isn't always a good thing, but I love her, she's the best mum I could ask for. And there are a lot of people, especially my fans, who absolutely adore her for this gentle bullying,” he added with a laugh.
“My mom would never do that,” Oliver stated, his little nose scrunching at the thought. “She loves me too much.”
The two of them spent the next hour or so talking, sometimes stopping when the little boy got distracted by something he caught on TV. But he seemed interested, he wanted to learn as much as he could, and it was true the other way around, because Oscar asked a lot of questions too. He hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed until you walked in to tell your son it was time for dinner, a statement that came with the question whether or not his dad was allowed to stay. 
You didn’t let him stay, saying he was probably tired from traveling so much, then gave him a begging look to make him speak up too. Oscar let out a sigh and forced a smile on his face. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll be back tomorrow. I’m staying for a few days and your mum let me come to see you every day,” he said happily. “In fact, I’ll be looking out for you tomorrow while she’s at work. How does that sound?”
Oliver squealed from happiness before he hugged you both, thanking you over and over again for letting him come over. “Can we go to the zoo?” he asked with bright eyes as he looked over at his father. 
“Sure, whatever you want,” Oscar responded with a nod. 
“Okay, time to wash your hands, Alejandro will be home soon, so we can start to eat,” you asked your son. Once he said goodbye to Oscar and disappeared, you turned to him with a forced smile. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
With a sigh, he stepped closer to you. “You were right, he’s a lot like me,” he began quietly, then stopped to consider what to say. He knew deep down that you wanted him to stay away, you didn’t want him to ruin the balance of your little family, but how could he give you that after getting to know his son? Oliver was his blood, he was truly a mini version of him, there was no way he would turn his back on him now. 
You knew. After all these years, despite your time together being so short, you still knew him well enough to know what was going on in his head. “Just don’t break his heart, okay?” you asked, earning a nod from him. “Thanks for… everything. Tomorrow, then?”
“Tomorrow. Have a good night.”
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tagged: @hc-dutch @nxlx96 @taliya8346282844eliviahdgdajs @laanswife @chunkpiboli @pakotrzl @1800-love-me
important: the taglist is closed. in fact, this might be the first and last time i'm doing this, because leaving someone out accidentally stresses me. sorry.
Anyway, what do you think? Should I continue?
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starless-nightz · 6 months ago
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i sent this request to someone else about a year and a half ago and i went back to look at it but they never made it into a fic so i thought it’d ask you instead while also making some small changes to my old request
Eloise bridgerton x fem!royalty!reader where two women can get married as long as one of them is rich enough to support the both of them
reader has to soon take over the throne because she is an only child but she has to first get married so she goes to London to find a wife or a husband and Eloise accidentally makes reader laugh (like that one scene w queen charlotte) which makes Eloise catch readers eye and she tries to court Eloise but Eloise being herself decides to be stubborn and act as if she has no feelings for the reader
readers mother strictly reminds her that she has little time left to find a match which forces reader to move on and try to find someone else who’s more willing to marry
of course Eloise gets jealous which makes her realize her mistake and it end’s with Eloise confessing right before the day reader is about to propose to another girl saying something along the lines of “dont marry her”
happy ending pleaseeee
Eloise being courted by fem! royalty! reader
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note -> I absolutely love this idea! I made this into HCs and a scenario since I dont have any idea how to make it into a fic, sorry :[
warnings -> none.
content includes -> fluff/angst, smitten reader, jealousy.
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You didnt want to get married, but you had to, as you knew your father was at the brink of death and you would soon need to ascend the throne, forcing you to marry
You disliked the girls this season, they only liked you for your power and money, you wanted someone who would genuienly love you
The moment your eyes layed on Eloise Bridgerton you knew you were smitten, and the way she talks and jokes always make you laugh
You tried to court her, always sending her, her mother and her sisters flowers and gifts, dancing with her at balls, reading and talking about her favorite books, even becoming close friends with some of her brothers
But Eloise did not want you, or at least she acted like it, so your mother forced you to find someone else
The girl wasn't too bad, but she wasn't Eloise, and you knew you could never love her, even if you tried, but she was the best choice from the ton, so you asked her father for her hand, which he agreed
You didnt understand why Eloise was so upset that you were courting another, she didn't want you, after all, but she proved you wrong the day before you were going to propose
"You cannot marry her! I wouldnt allow it!" Eloise said as she grabbed your arm, her eyes filled with guilt and jealousy.
"Why not? I wanted you, Eloise, but you made it quite clear you did not want me, and I must marry if I were to ascend the throne." you said as you looked back at her, you loved her, but she did not love you, so you have to marry another.
You freed your arm from her grip and you turned away to leave, until you heard her say-
"But I want you! I was wrong, i was stuborn, I want you and I do not wish to see you marry another!" she said, a tear running down her cheek, stopping you dead in your tracks.
You turned back to her, losing your breath, she wanted you? All along she wanted you?
"Are you certian you want me?" you asked her and she nodded, looking back up at you.
"I have loved you ever since you started courting me, but I was too stuborn to admit it, i have only realised it when you started courting another, please, i cant see you marry another." her voice broke as she spoke, her eyes begging and pleading for you.
"I could never imagine choosing another over you, especially now that I know you return my undying love." you said as you bringed her closer, pulling her in a kiss which she gladly returned.
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murdrdocs · 9 months ago
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implied stepcest; suggestive content; MDNI
luke castellan who finally returns to his mothers home to find her name hyphenated, and two new people living under the castellan roof; his new stepfather and stepsister.
his stepfather is fine. nothing remarkable. just some guy who is eager to please and desperately wants to get on luke’s good side. and then completely opposing the mundaneness of your father is you.
pretty, interesting, all smiles and engaging anecdotes and generosity as you offer to show him what he’s missed in the past 10 years.
unfortunately, luke can’t prevent his mind from going straight to the gutter, anticipating you showing him the sexual things he’s missed. but he refuses to let himself go that route. you’re his stepsister for gods sake.
so he hides his attraction to you when you show him your favorite places. he tries not to let his eyes linger on your legs when you curl up on the couch a little too far from him during “sibling movie night”. he plays the concerned brother role when you mention crushes or other guys a little too well, hoping it comes off as over enthusiasm instead of jealous.
he feels pathetic. back at camp, he had more glory than he knew what to do with. he was the prodigal child, the camper people envied and lusted after. and now here he is, trying to shut out images of his new stepsister while he’s in the shower jerking his cock with images of someone who looks nearly identical to you in his head, save for a few key features that were different enough to satiate his guilt.
eventually, his longing has to come to a head. he needs just one touch, one moment, one something, and he promises himself he’ll move on. maybe get with one of your friends you keep trying to set him up with.
he offers to train you in hand to hand combat upon subtle suggestion from your parents, worried claims that you needed to be able to protect yourself just in case.
he teaches you the basics, walking you through ways to escape a hold from an attacker. then he works it out with you, fighting you enough to get you in the hold, and not letting up when you try to get out.
“a real threat won’t go easy on you,” he reasons when he has you pulled to his chest, arms wrapped around your body in a way that prevents everything but limited movement from you.
he has you, he knows that and you know it too. usually he would gloat. but he can’t focus on his ego whenever your ass is pressed right to his crotch, the thin fabric of your shorts leaving nothing to the imagination.
you tell him to let you go. he doesn’t.
you tell him again. he doesn’t.
“luke,” eventually your voice is a small whisper. your hips push back into his, your nails dig into his forearm. luke holds you a little bit tighter. he expects you to ask for more. to tell him to keep going.
“let me go.”
your words sting. they punch luke in the gut harder than your fist did.
he does as told, convincing himself that he’d imagined it all. all the while, he remains completely oblivious to the way you look at him. how upset you look for a split second when one of your friends flirts with him. how you choose the shortest shorts you own when you’re around him at night, and how you scoot closer and closer while you watch movies. how you barely tried to escape his grasp that time, instead letting yourself enjoy the warmth of his body against yours.
how you moan his name just a little too loud while you fuck yourself, hoping that the thin walls between your rooms won’t block any sound you make.
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nyoomerr · 4 months ago
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i think it’d be really funny if for a fic drabble it’s just hot food blogger luo binghe who���s dated every woman on the block scrambling cuz he thinks his boyfriend who hes totally gone for likes another man’s cooking more then his (jokes on him, shen yuan’s talking about HIS videos, he just doesn’t wanna admit it)
picky food critic sy and mean but brilliant chef lbh is one of my favorite pairings in the world, actually
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Luo Binghe had always taken pride in both his cooking and his presentation. 
When he was younger, the meals he made served as a tribute to his mother. He ate well both because he knew she’d have wanted it for him and because the part of himself that would always be a hungry child of a poor single mother couldn’t stand the thought of being able to eat good food and choosing not to.
Then, when he was a bit older, cooking presented a new, more literal value: money. The daughter of a rich businessman had taken an interest in Luo Binghe from the meals he brought in to school, and Luo Binghe had by then already become wise to the fact that using empty-headed rich kids like her could pull a person out of the station they were born to. Luo Binghe used that girlfriend’s money to put himself through the first year of college; after that, he found someone with deeper pockets and won them over with his cooking as well. 
Well. Perhaps by that point Luo Binghe had learned how to win a woman over with more than just his cooking, but seduction was temporary. A woman would sleep with a pretty man that could promise to be a good lay; she’d only empty her wallet for a man who could measure up as something more permanent, and providing her with good food was the most surefire way to prove a man’s worth as a longterm boyfriend. 
So Luo Binghe cooked for his mother, and for his own hunger, and for the bills he had to pay by means of vapid girls who he cared little for but were easily swayed by good food.
After college, Luo Binghe became a chef, and then a sous chef, and then a head chef of a restaurant that he more or less controlled completely. He made a name for himself beyond being known as the pretty gold digger who’d dated half a dozen rich young ladies, and a wealth of his own that only multiplied when he began raking in advertiser’s money from blogging about his food on top of just selling it.
Luo Binghe’s food was good, and he knew exactly how to use it to position himself advantageously through life until he didn’t need advantages anymore. It had given Luo Binghe his life and his wealth and - most recently - his love, so Luo Binghe had no reason to feel anything but confidence in it.
“Binghe, can we have mapo tofu tonight? I’ve been craving some ever since I saw that video that’s been going around, ah, it looked so good…”
Luo Binghe feels his eye twitch. Nothing but confidence, he reminds himself.
“It’s rare for Shen-ge to want food he saw online,” Luo Binghe says sweetly, without answering Shen Yuan’s question at all.
“Is it?” Shen Yuan asks, not looking up from his phone. He’s currently sprawled inelegantly over Luo Binghe’s couch, giving Luo Binghe a perfect view of the way his shirt rides up, teasing him with a perfect sliver of Shen Yuan’s soft stomach. “I feel like I end up eating the food I see online way more frequently than the average guy, honestly.”
“Shen-ge frequently eats it; it’s rare for him to want to eat it,” Luo Binghe clarifies.
After all, this is how Luo Binghe had met Shen Yuan, the harshest food critic online. Luo Binghe had idly thought the small challenge of getting such a picky eater to endorse his food would have been good for his business, and invited him to try some. 
Shen Yuan had accepted. He’d then proceeded to eat Luo Binghe’s food with an enthusiasm, blissed out expression, and a symphony of erotic noises that had Luo Binghe, known playboy and talented sex-haver, feeling as if he’d just experienced the sexual awakening of a teen facing their first set of nudes.
That was fine, though, because Luo Binghe would simply seduce Shen Yuan the same as any other pretty face that could be swayed by good food, and - 
- and Luo Binghe could let Shen Yuan stay a bit longer, if only to hear the earnest way he praised Luo Binghe’s cooking and wished to hear about what it meant to Luo Binghe and asked if he could help Luo Binghe with the dishes -
- and inviting Shen Yuan back again and again would be strategic, because being the only chef who managed to not only wring a five star rating but a glowing review from such a notoriously harsh critic had been quite good for Luo Binghe’s business after all -
- and adjusting his menus to both suit Shen Yuan’s preferences and lean into heavier, fattier meals was good for Luo Binghe personally, because a lifetime of being a picky eater had let Shen Yuan grow up into skin and bones, which was bad for both Luo Binghe’s tiny remaining morality that was reserved for feeling bad for people who looked hungry and Luo Binghe’s sex life, since someone so skinny wasn’t very good for holding -
- and somehow, in the past year, Luo Binghe’s life has once more given cooking a new meaning: it’s what brought Shen Yuan to him, and got Shen Yuan to stay, in a way far more meaningfully than it ever got those rich young ladies to stay with Luo Binghe in the past.
It has also allowed Luo Binghe to grow into an ugly, wretchedly possessive thing, knowing that Shen Yuan likes his food best, that it’s his food that has filled in the little fat on Shen Yuan’s hips and thighs. A part of Luo Binghe becoming a part of Shen Yuan, and Shen Yuan enjoying it -!
“Well,” Shen Yuan says, “I want to eat this food. So - mapo tofu?”
Luo Binghe grinds his teeth. It makes the possessive parts of him howl that his picky eater boyfriend could be made hungry by another chef; if Shen Yuan had not specifically asked Luo Binghe to make the meal for him, and instead had genuinely sought out the online chef, Luo Binghe might have truly snapped.
…Perhaps this is a level of ownership that Luo Binghe should not feel over Shen Yuan’s eating, if their relationship is to be a healthy one. After all, if Shen Yuan were to ever be apart from Luo Binghe for longer than Luo Binghe could prepare meals for in advance…
Luo Binghe resolves to never be away from Shen Yuan for so long a period.
“Mapo tofu, then,” Luo Binghe agrees, smiling with sharp teeth at Shen Yuan. 
Shen Yuan finally glances up from his phone, beaming at Luo Binghe. 
“My Binghe’s the best after all, ah!” He says, clearly smug with himself, and some of Luo Binghe’s irritation slips away. 
For Shen Yuan, he really…
…He’ll really make mapo tofu better than anyone!!
Luo Binghe had made some just the other day actually, for a video for his blog, but he doesn’t bother to make it the same way this time. Food made specifically for his cooking blog is always slightly altered from how it truly tastes best - it must be designed to look good for the viewer, rather than tasting or feeling good. Besides that, Luo Binghe is not above altering recipes before giving them out so that his own cooking would always taste best, preventing copy cats from stealing the clientele of his restaurant. 
And, more importantly, this is the mapo tofu that Shen Yuan has specifically asked for, spurred on by a impotent online stranger who probably made a good-looking meal out of luck and nothing else. If Luo Binghe makes mapo tofu that is only good in a normal way, it won’t successfully prevent Shen Yuan from thinking of that stranger’s cooking ever again, ah!
So: a doubanjiang sauce that Luo Binghe has been fermenting personally, rather than store bought, and scallions instead of garlic greens to suit Shen Yuan’s preferences specifically. Tofu cut into chunks that Luo Binghe knows will be just the right size for Shen Yuan’s perfect pink lips and tongue, and the final dish plated in a way that is messier than is presentable for pictures but will have a better ratio of sauce to food, and -
Shen Yuan frowns. Luo Binghe, who has not seen Shen Yuan frown at a meal he has personally made in all the time he has known him, feels a spike of panic. 
Is his food not Shen Yuan’s ideal, anymore? Has Shen Yuan found another standard that he prefers, another chef to feed him? No one could feed Shen Yuan as well as Luo Binghe can, he’s sure of it, so why -!
“This doesn’t look like the mapo tofu you made the other day,” Shen Yuan says.
Luo Binghe blinks at him. “The mapo tofu that… I made?”
“Yeah? Didn’t I say I wanted it because I got hungry looking at your latest blog post?” Shen Yuan pauses to take a bite of the dish, his eyes fluttering shut and a low noise in the back of his throat escaping him in his bliss. “Ah, fuck it, this is way better than I thought it would be, forget the blog post!”
Saying so, Shen Yuan digs in to the meal in earnest, and Luo Binghe is left to watch him as he makes peace with the fact that he had, in fact, called himself an impotent fool when he thought it was someone else who had made mapo tofu that Shen Yuan liked the look of. 
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fryingpan1234567 · 29 days ago
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so what if the Bats were Spiders instead?
in a different universe, Bruce Wayne grew up with arachnophobia instead of chiroptophobia. he found secret experiments in a lab beneath their family estate, and it didn’t take him long to pick up the family business.
neurotoxin experiments. spiders.
in a different universe, Bruce Wayne became Spider-Man.
in a different universe, Dick Grayson didn’t need to be bitten by a spider to pick up the Spider-Man mantle. he grew up knowing how to do all the acrobatics and combat anyways— all B had to do was give him web shooters and a suit. but there couldn’t be two Spider-Man’s. so he became Nightwing. but with a blue spider on his chest instead of a bird!
Nightwing’s webs come from his escrima sticks. they’re packing some serious voltage, so sometimes in a pinch he’ll use them instead of his police-issued taser. his favorite part about the whole spider thing is that he can fully just… throw himself off of buildings. and not die. he’s an adrenaline junkie, what can he say?
in a different universe, Jason Todd did everything the same. tried to steal the wheels off the vehicle of the most famous vigilante in Gotham. B picked him up and let him choose the spider and gave him the power to do good.
Robin “giving him magic” didn’t stop the Green Goblin from caving in his skull. although spiders you thought you’d killed do have a way of disappearing.
and returning. in a different universe, the Red Hood took the black widow as his mascot and nobody could do anything in Gotham City without him knowing about it. he single-handedly put down all the arms dealers in the city.
in a different universe, Tim Drake made his own spider. he’d been a fan of Thomas and Bruce Wayne’s work for his whole life, or at least since he learned how to read— and he figured he could get Spider-Man’s attention if he was able to replicate the project as young as he did.
oh, he got Spidey’s attention all right. befriending and adopting an alien symbiote will do that. player 4 has joined the game.
in a different universe, Venom is co-piloted by Tim, who really does like aliens. B thinks it’s a tiny bit weird, but while Tim is tiny his alien companion is very much not. it’s extra armor.
Tim works at the Daily Bugle. nobody knows how exactly he gets the quality kind of photos he does of Gotham’s Spider-family situation, but who’s complaining? he’s just really good at his job.
in a different universe, Cassandra Cain was bitten by a spider before she even met Bruce Wayne. her mother had trained her for combat for her whole life. she couldn’t prepare her for superpowers.
B was happy to help. in a different universe, rather than Cass becoming Blackbat, she took on the alias Black Widow. watch your back for her, though. she’s got the same deadly instinct in every universe.
in a different universe, Stephanie Brown became the first Spider-Woman. of course, she wasn’t the only one, but there’s something about being the original, isn’t there?
she knows she’s funny. she thinks it’s part of the job; it feels right. she’s the closest to the average canon Spider-Man. she could’ve been recruited to the Society at any point in time. and there’s something about that too.
in a different universe, Damian Wayne was born with superpowers. he’d inherited Bruce’s from birth. Talia was quick to hand him off once she realized her baby could crawl on walls and ceilings. the Spider Cave was getting a bit crowded, but what’s one more dangerous, unpredictable, biologically enhanced child? bring it on.
aside from Hood, Tarantula is the only Spider willing to kill a man on the field. yeah, as in. bird-eating tarantula. Robin. get it?
of course, in a different universe, he still had his katana. wouldn’t be Damian Wayne without it. his favorite thing is to swing down from a skyscraper with his webs and run through bad guys like kebabs. B says it’s immoral, but who can be mad about stabbing Doc Ock’s goons?
in another universe, Duke Thomas is the most famous member of the family. he’s the other closest to canon Spider-Man. he takes the day jobs, he talks to the press, he’s the least-hated at the Daily Bugle.
his webs glow. that makes night ops harder. so he sticks to the sunlight. people started calling him the Spider-Signal. which doesn’t make a lot of sense? but Duke is the kinda guy to just kinda shrug it off, because he’s not gonna take on the entire city’s press on his own.
Miguel O’Hara stayed the bleeding hell away from this universe. this group of bats spiders were too unpredictable to have in the Spider Society at all. there were no missions there, but constant surveillance. (until. you know. Miles Morales rocked up with a proposition to take down a tyrannical system with horrible judgement and a corrupted leader. and then Miguel couldn’t ignore the Wayne family anymore.)
how I love the multiverse. endless possibilities, amirite?
(please ask me to write more for this au. drabbles. more characters. PLEASE)
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animentality · 1 year ago
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I got sad because I realized that the only good relationship that Dark Urge and Gortash had was with each other.
Gortash got sold by his parents, was abused in hell, barely escaped, and then spent the rest of his life plotting and scheming and refusing to get close to anyone, ultimately even selling another child he took in to the same nightmarish life he'd once escaped from.
Dark Urge was forced to kill their foster family by Bhaal, and then went to a Bhaal temple, where they might've been worshipped, but I highly doubt that the murder cult weirdos really thought of them as a person, and not just an object of worship. It is awful lonely up on that bloody pedestal. Plus the way they beg Bhaal for forgiveness for liking Gortash makes me suspect that it's never happened before.
And then I hold my little heart in my hands and weep for the two of them.
Because I know gortash is a piece of shit who refuses to break the cycle of abuse. And I know the dark urge has murdered a shit ton of people and enjoyed it too.
But...but...your honor ...I still feel sympathy.
I still felt sadness in the house of hope, when that asshole admitted he used to beat Gortash black and blue for fun.
I still felt grief when I read dark urge's letter to their god for ADMIRING someone.
For caring about a person.
And then I found out that dark urge had been living a normal life until they killed their foster parents.
You can say that dark urge enjoyed it, but I just don't think that's the case.
Baldur's Gate 3 has some laughably evil villains but there is nuance. There is humanity in most of the characters, good, evil, and morally gray. Even big baddies. Ketheric Thorm notably has a rather sad backstory full of grief, loneliness, and love turned to madness, Gortash was broken as a child by parents who shattered his ability to care for anyone but himself, and even Orin, if you confront her about Sarevok's relationship to her mother, can even be seen as a tragic figure. Like what the fuck, her own mom tried to kill her as an offering to bhaal.
Maybe all bhaalspawn are laughably one dimensional villains with absolutely no human traits to them, but that's just fucked.
One of my favorite themes is how everyone is a slave to the gods, their playthings, their disposal tools.
Poor Ketheric Thorm said it best when he said that we're just copper pieces to be traded, that we might have beaten him, but the gods beat him first.
He's so right, man. Most if not all the companions are slaves to Gods and devils.
Dark Urge was a slave to Bhaal, just a means to an end, a sharpened blade pressed against the world's throat, and Gortash was the plaything of devils, traded away by parents who didn't care about him, a powerless little boy who'd grow up to be a tyrannical power hungry despot.
I choose to believe they recognized each other. They worked together initially because they had their own agendas, and were doing their usual song and dance of manipulating others, but the more time they spent together, the more they actually liked each other.
They were genuinely friends, or lovers, and it's sickening and it's driving me mad, and it's all so sad.
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radioisntdead · 7 months ago
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AHAHHAHAHSHSHHD I HAVE A REQUESTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT IF YOU DON'T MIND BUT CAN YOU DO A HUSBAND ALASTOR X CRYBABY READER
Good evening my dear! Indeed I can!
I'm on a songfic fix at the moment so hopefully you don't mind me turning this into one, if you do just let me know and I can write a proper oneshot, drabble or headcanons
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Crybaby
Warnings:
Murder, Alastor being weird, mild angst, OOC, the ending is a bit muddled because lack of motivation hit me like a TRUCK.
The song I chose for obvious reasons
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You seem to replace your brain with your heart, You take things so hard and then you fall apart
You always had what one would call a bleeding heart, tears would overflow at the slightest instance, you fell onto the ground? Tears, you saw a rabbit munching on a carrot? Tears fell because it was just SO cute, you sobbed as you stabbed a guy to death, blubbering out apologies saying you wouldn't have to do it if he had JUST kept his mouth shut and didn't say those awful, awful things.
You try to explain, but before you can start
You met Alastor when the two of you were alive, he was an aspiring radio host at the time and well, your father ran a rather popular radio station.
Those "Cry baby" tears come out of the dark
You were considered the favorite child, (or the only child depending on the route you go) and Alastor knew that, he wasn't above using people to climb up the social ladder.
Someone's turning the handle to that faucet in your eyes
Everything was planned out, like how the two of you met, he found out what places you frequented, choosing a cafe to be the place to run into you.
You had accidentally poured warm coffee on his clothes, you cried out apologies as you patted him dry with napkins, offering to pay for drycleaning.
You pour it out where everyone can see
And that was it, it started with him charming you, asking you out for coffee, lunch, dinners and eventually he had you hooked.
Your heart's too big for your body, it's why it won't fit inside
Him eventually catching feelings for you was just the icing on the cake, a bonus, you and him felt similarly to certain affections.
His mother quite liked you as well asking him to bring you by again when you met her the first time.
You pour it out where everyone can see
As the relationship grew, he became a prominent radio personality, eventually proposing to you leading to marriage.
They call you cry baby, cry baby
Alastor was supposed to be working late that night, you weren't expecting him to come home as you washed the blood off of your hands, blood stained the bathroom sink, dried tears leaving faint streaks on your face.
But you don't fucking care
"Mon étoile?"
You slowly turned around as if you were in a horror movie, the one person you didn't want to see you like this.
Cry baby, cry baby
You burst into tears falling onto the ground, not even trying to explain yourself, Alastor grinned and moved next to you, gently wiping away your tears taking silent joy from them.
So you laugh through your tears
You laughed as Alastor gave a light smooch onto your face.
Cry baby, cry baby
And that begun a new era of your relationship,
You'd act as bait luring in the folks you and Alastor felt like taking away their living privileges.
'Cause you don't fucking care
You lived like that for years, taking many lives, shedding many tears, a killer couple.
Tears fall to the ground
Unfortunately all good things come to an end.
You'll just let them drown
Alastor went to dispose of a body while you cleaned up the aftermath.
You'll just let them drown
The police showing up and breaking the news to you that your dearest Alastor was shot in the head and attacked by dogs shattered you.
Cry baby, cry baby
You spent your days crying, barely being able to organize a funeral that no one other then you attended, after all who would attend the funeral of a murderer.
You're all on your own and you lost all your friends
You were alone now, sure your family urged you to move back home, you were still a sweetheart with a bleeding heart to them, you just fell for Alastor's schemes, that no one saw coming.
You spent your days crying, clinging on to any remnants of Alastor, your social life took a huge hit.
You told yourself that it's not you, it's them
They whispered behind your back, theorizing if you were apart of the murders or not, if you knew, if you were truly innocent.
You're one of a kind and no one understands
You were found dead in your home, alone.
But those "Cry baby" tears keep coming back again
You woke up in hell, you knew you probably weren't going to heaven but still!
Someone's turning the handle to that faucet in your eyes
Tears swelled up in your eyes but you wiped them away before they could fall deciding to look around and assess your situation.
You pour it out where everyone can see
Wandering around you passed by a shop with a radio present in it, reminding you of your dear Alastor.
Your heart's too big for your body, it's why it won't fit inside
The tears started pouring, and before you could do anything else, someone touches your shoulder.
You pour it out where everyone can see
You've been down below for who knew how long now, bring found by Mimzy of all people, a good friend of yours, and Alastor's.
They call you cry baby, cry baby
Mimzy showed up at Alastor's home banging on the front door, you stood a few feet away from her, He opened it displeased at the sudden visit but he smiled wide nonetheless.
"Mimzy dear, pray tell why you are banging on my door at this unholy hour?" He asked, simply hearing his voice the waterworks began as Mimzy pulled you out from where you stood.
But you don't fucking care
Alastor's eyes ever so slightly widened, it hadn't been that long since he died, he suspected you would follow suit eventually but not this quickly.
Cry baby, cry baby
"I believe this one is yours, they've been crying on and off, it's driving me crazy" Mimzy said shoving you into Alastor as you grinned up at him through blurry eyes
So you laugh through your tears
"I missed you." You said as Alastor touched your face, brushing a claw over it, you, much like him and every other sinner looked different from when you were alive, you had permanent gold tear streaks stitched into your face, how ironic.
Cry baby, cry baby
Alastor simply grinned, wiping away a tear.
"You haven't changed a bit, Mon étoile."
'Cause you don't fucking care
"You can pay me back for reunitin' ya lovebirds later!"
Mimzy laughed before running off to do who knows what, making a swift exit for plot convenience.
Tears fall to the ground
And that was that, you were finally reunited.
You'll just let them drown
While Alastor was given the name of The Radio demon you were referred to as the Crying demon,
How original.
Cry baby, cry baby
While Alastor stuck fear with a smile, hearing you wail in the distance stuck fear into others, you'd apologize as you ripped sinners apart just like you did in life.
You'll just let them drown
You watched as Alastor developed a cannibalistic taste for sinners, he opted to bring you sinner hearts as a token of affection,
You teared up from how sweet the extremely messed up act was.
Cry baby, cry baby
You also watched as Alastor's personal hygiene got worse, to the point where you'd chase him down with a sponge and a bucket of water, or before bed with a toothbrush and some toothpaste.
Much to his chagrin he was never able to escape you chasing him.
You'll just let them drown
Alastor's more sadistic tendencies were revealed in full force, with him biting and pinching your cheeks just hard enough to make you cry.
It wasn't a deal breaker but it did weird you out at first.
I look at you and I see myself
Alastor brought you to the Hazbin hotel after Husk and Niffty were pulled from wherever,
You quickly gained an affection for the hotel and it's residents, Alastor may have been using the hotel for his own entertainment but you genuinely believed in Charlie's dream of redeeming sinners.
And I know you better than anyone else
Becoming another parental figure for the princess you showered her with advice and familial affection, saying if you had a child you'd want them to be just like her.
And I have the same faucet in my eyes
Vaggie wasn't spared from the parental affection either, Alastor might not have been fond of her but you were.
So your tears are mine
You eventually became like the hotels therapist, a very prone to crying therapist but a therapist none the less.
You and Charlie tended to cry together especially if the two of you decided to put a emotionally charged movie on for movie nights
They call me cry baby, cry baby
You cried when extermination day happened, taking out exorcists left and right, your tears were filled with anger as you witnessed what happened to Sir Pentious.
But I don't fucking care
You cried tears of joy when the hotel was rebuilt and when Alastor came back from wherever he was.
Cry baby, cry baby
"You are an complete and utter MORON,"
"Mon étoile, W̴̝̖͙̩̹̓͆̏͌̒̔̑͐̕h̶͔̲̄ă̵̟̥͙̥͖͚̋̍̓̓̇̕ţ̶̧͇̞̟͈͔͉̦͋̄͂̌́̉͗ ̸̛̟̖̰͛͐̂̌̃d̷͎͍̦̩̯̂̐̈́̒̇͜ͅï̷̙͎͙̱̲̾̓̓̂d̵̛̛̲̤̺̟͒̈́̽́̑̈́̈͜͠ ̴̬̥̱͓̊̒͛ȳ̶̢̢̛̛̘͓̱̱̭̩̣͈̈́̀͋͘͝ő̴͓̜̥̪͇͙͉̞̜ủ̴̢̖͙̞͈̳̈́̑̋̂̉̈ ̵̩̈́̋̂̾̓̎̌̕̚j̶̛̗̲͚͖̼̻̥͕̚ù̸̫̯̎s̷̛̹̠̠̰͇̬̟̤͖̃̋͋ť̵͇̹͕̞͌ ̵͆̀��̢̹͖̯́̎̐̐̽̆̃c̴͍̼̤̓̉̃̒̕͠a̶͖̙̭͂͋̓l̸̢̧̨͙̯̹̯̱̳̏̈́̀l̷̡͖͉̟̼̳̹͙̏́̄̃͋ͅ ̶̧͓͍͑m̶̨̡̠̖͇̫͓̅̈́-̷̞̱̪͓̞̅̈́͊̇̎̐͝"
"Don't pull that radio demon bullshit with me right now Alastor! How hard was it to arm yourself? You aren't invincible to ANGELIC WEAPONS!"
You shouted at Alastor as you paced around your newly restored shared room, first aid kit open, bandages wrapped around, angry tears in your eyes.
If you were anyone else, you would be dead for rubbing salt into the still aching wound.
Alastor sighed and swung one leg over the other, crossing his arms intending to wait until your 'temper tantrum' was over.
I laugh through my tears
Normally he rather liked your tears, in a Alastor way, but they were annoying to him in this instance.
Cry baby, cry baby
You grabbed his face, locking your eyes with his,
"You could've died, You would've left me again."
"Dearest,"
"Al,"
"I won't leave you again."
"Promise?"
You asked dropping your hands from his face only for him to hold them in his hands.
"Promise."
'Cause I don't fucking care, Tears fall to the ground
With the hotel rebuilt, bigger, more grand then before, sinners began to trickle in.
Wanting to give redemption a shot,
Some wanted to see someone they knew that more then likely ended up going above, some had nothing left to lose, some just wanted to change, hating what they've become since they fell below.
I just let them drown, Cry baby, cry baby
You quite liked how things were developing, seeing Charlie's face light up when hotel residents improved, getting clean from addiction, proving to be better.
I just let them drown, Cry baby, cry baby
Alastor originally got involved in this place for his own entertainment or otherwise, bringing you with him, he didn't think that his darling crybaby of a wife would get attached.
But maybe he was getting attached too, not that he would ever admit it even to you.
You'll just let them drown, They call you cry baby, cry baby
You and Alastor sat comfortably on the couch in his radio tower, with you laying on his shoulder, his arm gingerly wrapped around you.
I just let them drown
"Al, look how cute they are!"
You said as you held your phone to Alastor, you had to remove a few qualities in order to keep the phone, you didn't mind since you mostly used it to communicate with the hotel residents or look at animal videos on the Internet anyways.
He simply hummed as he grimaced at the phone, you were trying to show him a group of hellborn kittens,
"We should get a cat,"
"We already have a cat."
"Husk doesn't count."
You said frowning as Alastor moved his hand to your cheek, pinching it until tears swelled up in your eyes.
Cry baby, cry baby
You were sobbing at the red creature you held in your arms,
"It's adorable!" You sobbed out holding the catlike creature that you found on the side of the road much to Alastor's displeasure you wanted a cat, and you got a cat thingy
"It looks like Alastor."
"Exactly!"
Alastor squinted at the cat thing you were crying with pride over, he would throw the damned thing out the window but unfortunately you were already attached, and he preferred you to cry over literally anything else other then the failed clone of his.
You'll just let them drown
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Good evening folks! Thanks for tuning in! I scheduled this for Saturday so that should mean this is the last of the songfics! [For now anyways] [post-post edit, I LIED THERE WILL BE MORE SONG FICS THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING]
I wanted to go more into how Alastor would probably enjoy the readers crying but it got a little too weird.
Have a wonderful weekend folks!
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x1nanzhua0 · 12 days ago
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Saw this trend on twitter and my first thought was — I need to do this with the gang so here we go
Deja and Cam join Juniper (my winter!mc) doodling all over her notes!
I don’t have much time to draw my MC and do her profile properly yet (blame my college quiz and assignments), I will tho, someday.
But, I did write down some basic facts and some random things about her :3
Starting w/ the basics — Juniper Clarke (she/her), 20 (DOB : 12 September/Virgo). Law major and Theatre minor. Korean.
and fun facts below the cut
12 Fun (?) Facts about Juniper Clarke
Is adopted by a gay couple, her pa is a lawyer and her dad works as a screenwriter.
The middle child; has an older brother (23) and a younger sister (8).
Got a Korean name from her pa (who is also Korean) that no one other than her family knows, even Deja and Cam.
Low spice tolerance. She once ate the buldak ramen and added a whole pack of the sauce, then ended up crying so hard that Deja started to feel sorry for her and got her some bobas.
Former child actress! (only got the supporting roles tho)
A mother of 3 children cats; Aurora (F), Apollo (M), and Anneliese (F)
Dyed her hair calico color to match Aurora because she is her first pet and raised by herself since 15. (yep she has her favorite but still loves all of them anyway)
No dating experience, nor has she ever felt any attraction to anyone in particular. However, she doesn’t mind dating and thinks about having a partner sometimes. There were some who tried to approach her but their approaches are ALWAYS either annoying or disgusting.
Musically gifted; has an angelic voice and plays many instruments (guitar, bass, piano, violin — the list goes on). Oh! She also likes dancing.
Learned foreign languages just to sing songs in that language perfectly.
Black belt in Taekwondo. It’s best to not mess with her or touch her without consent ;)
Dislikes bugs, but not as afraid of them as Deja is, she only avoids encounters as much as possible — Funny story; she accidentally stepped on a cockroach without noticing, but her two best friends saw everything (panicking even) and hesitated whether they should tell her or not. (they did, and Juniper almost fainted)
Juniper is my one and only MC for keyframes and I have no plans to create more. I ALSO can't choose which LIs I want to pursue but I'd like to see how things go and let future Juniper and the cast decide themselves (even though I kinda drew a meme about her and Jamie in a relationship *cough*). I'm a sucker for slow burn anyway! (Still, I like her chemistry with Percy and Jamie the most lol)
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decidedlygorgeous · 1 month ago
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My brother doesn’t understand why a woman would cut her hair short when a creepy man told her he liked her long hair
My brother thinks it’s cringy when women repost the “we are the daughters of the witches you tried to burn”
My brother thinks I’m so cringy and lame for liking Taylor swift and enjoying Disneyland. He doesn’t understand that even though I get she’s a billionaire with different problems than me and she’s not perfect, her lyrics still speak to me. And I feel safe at Disneyland because it reminds me of my grandma who taught me to believe in magic and of my dad who loves hearing about the behind the scenes stuff and the stories of the cast members.
My brother is so forward in his thinking about other stuff that I struggle with him when I try to tell him that in a group of his friends I get cut off and ignored when I say something, and someone will repeat what I just said. He doesn’t believe me because he didn’t hear me, proving my point.
My brother, who does not know what happened to me, doesn’t understand why women would choose a bear over a man because HE would rather live. I would much rather die.
My brother scoffs at booktok and what “trash” women consume with written and audio smut when I know he watches porn.
My brother doesn’t understand why I was upset with the older man at the concert who wasn’t listening and kept talking over me, telling me I should move to the open spot so I could see better, when I was saying I was purposely standing right behind my dad so the lights wouldn’t hit me straight in the eyes and I didn’t really care about seeing the band anyways.
My brother is such a smart person and is so caring about a lot of stuff. He does copious amounts of research to back himself up so he knows what he’s talking about. But sometimes I fear that he gets so caught up in the facts that he forgets that people have feeling and they sometimes do matter in discussions.
He forgets that only he can tell when he’s joking and so when I ask him if he’s serious and he says yes, I’ll believe him because he’s my brother, and I’m supposed to trust him. Sometimes he forgets that jokes are also supposed to be funny to the person you’re telling them to and gaslighting is not a funny joke. And it makes me believe and trust him less.
My brother forgets that he was not the only person slighted by our mother and so when he’s ranting and telling me what happened and I say “I’m sorry, I understand how you feel” he scoffs and tells me to shut up and I’m the Favorite child who gets everything. I’m not and I don’t, that’s our second oldest brother. But me being the only girl I see why he would think that.
My brother is NOT a villain and he’s certainly not my villain. He’s a complicated person I love that sometimes hurts me. And I have no doubt that I’ve hurt him, I am no victim after all.
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eventideluminary-games · 11 months ago
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It is finally spring again. The grass is growing, birds are singing, and it's the perfect idyllic day to have your sister's coronation! You hoped everything would go well. It did not. In under 10 minutes, you went from being your sister's heir to your sister's killer. Or so your kingdom suspects, considering they're now on a manhunt for you. You have to figure out who really murdered your sister and fast, but be careful. You're not quite sure who you can trust these days...
ON HIATUS
Under the Eyes of Themis is a current WIP and new interactive CYOA novel, with a focus being on the characters, their interactions with each other, and their storylines. It's inspired by many JRPGs/RPGs. It's being written in ChoiceScript
Note: Because this is still a WIP, some names of characters or places may change! But feel free to send asks or anything!
Genre: Mystery, Romance
Rating: 18+ (sexual content, language, extensive talks about death, a semi(?) graphic death scene (i'm not good with rating graphic gore sorry), etc)
Tracked Tags: #under the eyes of themis, #eyes of themis, #uteot
Demo (1/19/24, ver 2.1.0) || Romance Options || Side Characters || FAQ || Tag Navigation || Pintrest
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In Under the Eyes of Themis, you are taken to the fantasy medieval-esque world of Runnet. Here, you play as the youngest child of the Diamant family of the Grasslands kingdom. Your older sister, Adalia, just happened to be born 10 minutes before you, which makes her the heir to the throne. Not that you seem to mind anyways.
The year is 1344 and the winter has recently melted away into spring, the favorite season for those in the Grasslands kingdom. The former queen, your mother, has passed away about a month ago. As your mother's heir and the oldest, your twin sister, Adalia, is coronated as queen, summoning emissaries and people from all places to recognize her as Queen of the Grasslands.
At the end of the coronation week, Adalia is poisoned and killed during the last feast. As you try to grapple with the loss of your twin, you are suddenly accused of poisoning your sister, a maid having found the vial hidden among your clothing.
You are chased out of your kingdom and manage to get help from the other lands in the area. You and your group travel across 8 lands to clear your name and figure out who framed you and killed your sister before you're arrested for a crime you didn't commit!
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Play as a male, female, or non-binary Royal
Customize the way your Royal looks in the story. Will they keep their natural look or decide to change it while on the run?
Your Royal has a semi-set personality in the beginning, but you choose how being on the run affects them
Explore the world of Runnet and the 8 lands situated on the continent
Choose to romance 5 different companions: a fun and flirty Prince, the not-so-ladylike-Lady with a penchant for picking fights, the brightest Scholar of the land, a shy Farmer's daughter, or the loudest Assassin you've ever seen (or heard)
Chase leads, find clues, and talk to locals to figure out who poisoned your sister and who's framing you
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The Accused Royal - You! (player determined)
You are 24 years old. You are the youngest child in the Diamant family. You are a prince/princess/princep. You have an older twin sister. You can choose to be male, female or nonbinary. You can choose your first name but your middle name is set.
If you play as a male, the middle name is set to: Florian
If you play as a female, the middle name is set to: Floriana
If you play as non-binary, the middle name is set to: Flor
Appearance: player determined. It's said you resemble your mother most, in terms of facial structure. Female and Non-binary Royals have the option to be identical twins with Adalia.
The Queen for a Week - Adalia Elcina Diamant (she/her)
Queen Adalia is better know to you as your twin sister. She is kind and nice, if not a little bossy. She would've made a wonderful queen... It's a shame she drank all that poison.
Appearance: player determined. Has the option to be identical twins with a female or non-binary Royal.
The Crown Prince of the Woodlands Kingdom - Alceste Claudius Emeraude (he/him)
Alceste is a 24 year old man. He is the crown prince and heir to the Woodlands kingdom. Alceste is flirty and fun-loving. He likes to tease the Royal and especially, Larisilla. He is the oldest of 4 children and consistently entertains the group trying to break the tension. He seems to have a problem with taking things seriously, but behind his playful attitude and flirtatious charm, you can see something darker swirling around in his eyes. Wonder what that's all about...
Appearance: Alceste is about average in height (5'8) and has smooth, blemish-free olive skin. He is average in terms of his body, not quite muscular but not lean either. He has a bit of a chubby stomach and still retains some of his baby fat. His hair is dark brown and looks fluffy. His eyes are dark green, similar to the woods that surround his home.
The Future-Lady of the Dustlands' Council - Larisilla Cornaline (she/her)
Larisilla is a 23 year old woman. She is the daughter of the first Head of the Dustlands' Council. Larisilla is not what is expected of a lady, finding more joy in picking fights and training with her swords than learning about politics. She is uncharacteristically serious and always wears a permanent frown. She has the tendency to rub people the wrong way, being blunt and, often, rude. Still, Larisilla will always stick up for you, so it's good she's on your side... Right?
Appearance: Larisilla is a tall woman, standing at around 5'10. She is muscular and has tanned skin dotted with beauty marks. Her frame is elegant in nature. Her eyes are a dusty red, reminiscent of the mesas of her homeland. Her wavy brown hair is short, cut into a shoulder-length bob. She typically ties her side-fringe back with a cord of leather.
The Head Scholar of the Palmlands' Scholar's Hall - Dionys Topaze (he/him)
Dionys is a 26 year old man. He is the leader of the famous Scholar's Hall, located in the Palmlands. As expected, he is polite and intelligent. Dionys is kind and eloquent. He tends to be quiet while other are speaking, but will gladly entertain you on the various areas of his study. He is said to be the Brightest Scholar of the Palmlands, a title which he doesn't really like. Dionys has the tendency to accidentally speak down to people, but he doesn't mean it. You're lucky Dionys' current area of research is law...
Appearance: Dionys is a very handsome man. He is tall at around 6'3 and lean, not as visually muscular as the others. He has smooth dark skin and long braided black hair that falls to his waist. The braids are decorated with golden clips and charm. His eyes are gold as well, reflecting the dunes present in his homeland. He has a pair of gold rimmed glasses he sometimes wears for reading.
The Farmer's Daughter of the Fieldlands - Somnia Disthene (she/her)
Somnia is a 25 year old woman. She is a humble farmer's daughter from the aptly named Fieldlands. She is a bit shy and quiet, but don't get it mixed up; she isn't scared or afraid. Somnia is a bit intimidated from all the important political people in the group, but she is insistent upon being helpful. She has a wealth of practical knowledge, notably that of a seasoned healer. You're grateful she's eager to help you, so you ignore her questionable slip ups. After all, who else would have the knowledge of making poison...
Appearance: Somnia stands at about average height (5'4). She is heavy-set/fat with the muscles and strength of a woman who has been working fields since she could walk. She has light skin smattered with freckles and long loosely curled blonde hair falling to her mid-back. Her eyes are light blue with bits of grey speckled in them, similar to the rivers that run through her homeland.
The Assassin of the Floelands - Enyo Perle (he/him) or (she/her)
Enyo is gender-selectable. They are 22 years old. They are a spy from the northern Floelands. They are loud and full of energy, quite different than what you would expect from a supposed assassin. They are eager to please and a bit naive, unaware of most things happening in favor of playing with their knifes. Enyo is open about their job as an assassin. Despite the group being a bit wary around them, Enyo does the best to fit in. But is it enough? After all, an assassin's still an assassin...
Appearance: Enyo is about average in height (5'7), if they are male, and short (5'3), if they are female. They have a slender form with no visible muscle definition. They have clear pale skin. Their hair is black and straight falling to their mid-back. M!Enyo keeps his hair tied into a ponytail while F!Enyo braids hers. Their eyes are a light grey, almost white in color, mirroring the snow abundant in their homeland.
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kafus · 8 months ago
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why dot & episode 41 of pokemon horizons means so much to me as a recovering social recluse
when i got into pokemon horizons i had no idea whatsoever that my favorite character would end up being dot, one of the best handled social recluse characters i've ever seen in a piece of media. pokemon places such a large focus on adventure and travel, meeting new people and pokemon, so really the idea of a respectfully handled social recluse character just didn't seem to fit in with the concept. but now that the environment travels with the characters in the form of an airship, dot was able to be created and my god i love her. as someone who's been a recluse most of my life, even as a child, (i would qualify as a hikikomori and/or NEET at different stages of my life!) who is slowly crawling out of that pit, dot means the world to me.
there's a lot of good episodes that have some level of focus on dot but episode 41 in particular really blew me away and for the sake of my autistic ass desperately wanting to tell people about it i'm going to explain that here in trademark rambling fashion. obviously spoilers ahead - though not just for episode 41, i'm also going to be talking about earlier episodes a little bit. you've been warned!! if you don't want spoilers don't read below the cut ty!!
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so episode 41. we meet dot's mother as the viewer who is there to pick up dot from her "trial period" on the brave asagi, learn about how dot ended up on the airship in the first place, and then at the end dot gets to have a showdown against her mother's lycanroc essentially to prove that she wants to, and can, stay permanently on the rising volteccers crew instead of going home. this is a huge turning point in dot's development as a character - at first she was a complete unknown only audible through her bedroom door, irritable to anyone who tried to speak to her, then over the course of the show she's managed to make friends with liko and roy, become a pokemon trainer, enjoy food with other people for seemingly the first time, and even caught tinkatink on her own accord pretty recently. and now this episode allows her to say in her own words that she isn't just on the ship experimentally, or because of murdock, or any other reason - she is choosing to be there and is enjoying learning more about other people and experiencing the outside world. again, this is a huge leap for someone who refused to show her face to the main characters for the first half of the show!
this on its own is already a pretty admirable character arc, one i can relate to, but i am really impressed by & feel seen by the way the writing handles her and that's really apparent in this episode. first i'm going to focus on how the writing and characters in the show respect dot's feelings despite her introversion and reclusion here.
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dot's mom (blanca) is introduced to us as incredibly overbearing, to the point of freaking out and sending a bunch of angry stickers when murdock and dot don't immediately respond to her messages. dot's first response to seeing her mom is frustration instead of any level of positive response or excitement, which implies they don't have the best history, even before she actually starts talking about her past. i'm not trying to make this a post about dot's family psychology, maybe another time, but similarly to liko her situation is a bit fucked lmao (though for opposite reasons!)
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the thing is - the adults around her are ALSO uncomfortable, in particular murdock, blanca's brother, which conveys a lot about the situation. she's not just some stubborn kid, there's legitimacy to her feelings, because if there wasn't the mature figures in this situation probably wouldn't also be reacting negatively, especially not murdock, dot's other relative here. from incredibly personal experience, it is so easy to wave off the feelings of a child, especially one as "difficult" and reclusive as dot, as just being some sort of phase, but already the writers are directly contrasting murdock, an adult dot is comfortable with who treats her with patience and respect, with blanca, who she evidently is not comfortable with - and they're respecting her feelings by making the adults in the show respect her feelings, too. and they're about to do a whole lot more of contrasting her mother with Everyone and Everything Else!
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dot is continued to be understood and respected by the people who know her best in the case of liko and roy choosing to approach her to talk first. dot has run off to her room, where she usually is to get away from people, a very clear sign that she's struggling. liko and roy recognize this and cut blanca off from making the situation worse. which, of course they would, they're her friends and they genuinely care about her and understand how she behaves! they even know how to get her to come out her room without banging on her door and continuously yelling or something like that - direct contrast to them struggling with this much earlier in the show, by the way.
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dot is happy to see them and much more willing to talk pretty much immediately, because guess what, they're people who respect her space and her feelings!!!
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and once again, when blanca tries to force dot to speak before she's ready to (i mean come on you literally jumped her with this massive thing out of nowhere), liko jumps in and cuts blanca off to defend her and once again respect her feelings in a way that blanca definitely is not.
and finally, when they end up having a pokemon battle with each other...
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blanca says this, yet another invalidation of dot's feelings and the way she responds to situations. this line actually made me viscerally uncomfortable, i remember the bitterness and upset i felt when i was a young person and my feelings, especially my frustrations with my parents and the way they handled my introversion, were invalidated on account of my age. "oh, it's just a phase" or "it's just because you're a kid" - just so incredibly frustrating.
and you know what that's followed up with?
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dot speaking her fucking mind and kicking her mom's ass baby!!!! get her ass!!! let's GOOO. this part of the episode is so fucking rewarding. it's so good to see this character who has grown so much finally stand up for herself. she still needed a little bit of a push but that's OKAY!! the important part is that she's doing it and the narrative recognizes that! having friends and loved ones to help you out is actually a very essential part of happiness and survival!
and before i delve too far into my personal feelings, i also want to talk about a second thing here; i just find dot's characterization really relatable, like i swear to god there's someone on the writing team who must have been a 12 year old autistic NEET or something. it's literally too fucking on point, it's uncanny, i swear there's times in horizons where dot is just a carbon copy of me when i was a preteen. i mean come on:
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dot flopping face down into bed after being overwhelmed in an awkward social situation and being confronted with a situation she's been trying to ignore thus far... the amount of times i have done this in my life, holy shit.
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the candidness in which dot speaks about being so interested in the outside world, but being unable to have those experiences for herself as simply a voyeur. the shot of her room being such a disaster because she rarely leaves it and stuff piles up in there, including food junk,
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the way she spends all this time alone cultivating skills she's passionate about and then shrugs them off as "just something she likes" when an adult compliments her on her abilities, the contrast between her confidence in what she loves but her complete social awkwardness in talking to anyone about it,
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her defining herself on the internet by being a homebody, hell even her cute little freakout about the streamer she likes noticing something she said,
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waking up late and missing the activities of other people because her sleep schedule basically doesn't exist while she's at home,
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even just her general body language of closing in on herself and holding onto something when she's nervous, hell even her clothing choices which are so obviously meant to be as comfortable as possible for her and easy to take on and off - i could go on forever even just with this episode alone but i think you get the point. i feel so seen by how dot is just in general and it's obvious from both the plot/writing and the way dot is portrayed and animated that the people making this show understand people like me, even the type of person i was as a child, too.
all of this means so much to me because like i said in the intro to this post, i was and still very much am a social recluse. i'm a homebody. even now i still rarely leave my room, i don't eat with family often, i struggle to do things in the "real world". growing up, repeated intrusions into my feelings and my life did not help me, they only made me whiplash further into feeling distant and not listened to by the people around me. they made me want to interact with real life less. finally, as an adult, when people started to give me a bit more space, when the ways i communicate began to be respected a little more, that is when i started making genuinely close and good friendships, that is when i began to venture outside of my room and partake in small joys with people, as a direct result of being given the space and time to do so, to have my own autonomy, to make my own decisions, to be myself. i think it's incredibly easy to see someone curling in onto themself and assume they need a fuckton of intrusive pushing, and sometimes they do need a little push, like how dot's quaxly pushes her to move forward in the moment sometimes, or how liko continuously tried to befriend her, but the important part is that by treading too far over her boundaries it is no longer a productive or respectful way of helping her - it's a balance, and a balance horizons always seems to get right, episode 41 included.
it really means so much to me to see dot's journey into coming out of her shell treated with so much respect by the writing and other characters. so often recluse characters are the butt of the joke, are pushed out of their comfort zones unrealistically fast, or never actually receive the support and growth they need - but horizons strikes the balance of being candid about the type of character dot is and giving respect and space to her feelings so she can grow at her own pace, but still giving her support and little pushes when she needs them, and showing that it's possible to grow and enjoy the real world, even as a recluse. it's refreshing, especially with a character who is a child, and a girl, too! i can count the amount of times i have found a young girl character i relate to at all on one hand, and dot is the best one i've ever seen, personally! horizons has been really inspiring to me to continue to cultivate my connections with others and continue to drag myself out of my shell at my own pace with people who love me, during a really chaotic and transitional part of my life and i really love it for that. i'm glad this episode exists for an infinite multitude of reasons but i really just wanted to talk about this specific aspect for a bit and how it relates back to me as a recovering recluse.
thanks for reading if you got this far jesus christ i talk a lot LOOOL. and i might talk more about my feelings on this episode or dot in general later. i have so much to say about likodot and also about the family dynamics in this show i'm practically eating thru drywall thinking about it rn
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munsonsmixtapes · 6 months ago
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Hi since ur request is open 👀I would like to request Eddie X wife reader since it’s mother day . Maybe Eddie has a surprise for the reader for mother day and he really show how much he appreciates her . And even uncle Wayne is willing to babysit their child .
Aww, this idea sounds so cute! Thanks so much for the request, lovely!
husband!Eddie x wife!reader
You and Eddie had been been married together for four years, but this was your first Mother’s Day celebrating as a mother after you had your daughter, Charlotte and Eddie had insisted on making it perfect for you. You had just gone back to work and were exhausted with having to take care of a baby on top of it, so Eddie had planned a date for the two of you to show you how much he appreciated you as his wife and the mother to his child.
Wayne had insisted on watching Charlotte while the two of you spent some much needed time by yourselves. Eddie had planned for the two of you to watch your favorite movie while you snuggled up on the couch with an array of all of your favorite snacks. He didn’t think it was nearly what you had deserved, but you had been so tired that he thought that it was something you were going to enjoy.
When Eddie had told you what you were going to do to celebrate, you almost cried, feeling so grateful that he somehow knew exactly what you wanted. You knew he was going to plan something, but were wanting it to be low key and that was exactly what he had come up with. Sometimes you were convinced he could read your mind.
“What movie were you thinking, lovely?” Eddie asked as you looked over the collection the two of you had accumulated over the years. It was a mix of your collections and some you had bought together.
You were torn between a rom com and a thriller but ended up choosing the rom com because you needed something like for the mood you were in.
“10 Things I Hate About You?”
“Pick whatever you want, hon. It’s your day.” Eddie secretly wanted you to pick that one because he loved when you told him he looked like Heath Ledger.
You popped the VHS into the VCR and settled onto the couch, snuggling into Eddie’s side as the movie played. You had both seen the movie so many times that you always ended up quoting it to each other when your favorite lines came up.
Eddie turned to you while you quoted yet another line and couldn’t help but fall even more in love with you than he already had. You were so beautiful and sweet and kind that it was hard for him not to. He couldn’t believe that you had agreed to go out with him so many years ago and had stuck by his side ever since. He really was one lucky man.
“What?” You asked, turning to him, even though you knew exactly what he was going to say.
“Nothing,” he shrugged. “Just like looking at you.”
“Aww, Eds, I like looking at you too.” You leaned towards him and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips before snuggling even further into him.
As much as you liked spending time alone with Eddie, you had to admit that it felt odd not having to listen out for a baby’s cry. And if you were being honest, you actually missed it. You missed rocking Charlotte back to sleep and feeling her head rest against your shoulder while you did it.
You turned to Eddie once again, not really enjoying the movie anymore since you couldn’t get the thought out of your head. You wondered if he would be okay with cutting your date short to go pick your daughter up. Maybe you weren’t ready to be alone just yet.
“What is it, honey?” His arm that was wrapped around your shoulders gave one of them a squeeze.
“I miss her.” You hated sounding like a clingy mother, but you couldn’t help it. You just missed your baby and thought you deserved to hold her with it being Mother’s Day and all.
“You want to go pick her up, don’t you?” Eddie really could read your mind.
“I guess I really am that mom, huh?”
“So what? I want to see her too.” That made you feel a lot better hearing him admit that. It made you feel less alone.
“You do?”
“Of course. I just really need to hold her.” The way he said the words was so soft and gentle and it warmed your heart. It had only been a few months and the girl already had him wrapped around his finger.
“I’ll go get her from Wayne’s.” He stood up from the couch and you couldn’t help but fall even more in love with Eddie. So grateful to have him as a husband and the father to your child. He was everything you could have hoped to have in a partner and you couldn’t believe he was all yours.
“Are you sure?” You tried to stand up too, but he just pushed you back down.
“Nope,” he shook his head. “Your job is to just sit here and look pretty. You’re not lifting a finger today, alright?” He pressed a kiss to your waiting lips then grabbed his car keys before heading out the door to go pick up your daughter for some much needed snuggles.
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arabellasleopardcoat · 1 year ago
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Rhaenyra x reader with incest if it hasn’t already been crossed out?
Baby teeth (Rhaenyra Targaryen x Reader)
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Summary: Cousins. You hate them or you love them. And Rhaenyra knows exactly how she feels about you.
Warnings: Incest. One use of Daddy.
Requested: Yes! The first one I fill, too. Here you go! I hope you enjoy this, since it’s my first time writing Rhaenyra.
There is something dangerous about the boredom of young maidens. That’s what Septa Marlow used to say. Rhaenyra never understood it properly. Not until now.
As you entered the Hall, hot in Daemon’s heels and with an expression of absolute contempt, she wondered what could possibly be your reason for coming. It was well known that you two weren’t friends. Viserys and Daemon made actual efforts to keep you apart, after a particularly nasty episode during your shared childhood.
Even at four years old, you were a nasty little thing. All the worst parts of Daemon and Rhea Royce, rolled into one. Rhaenyra had taken your favorite doll, arguing that she was a Princess and so deserved to have it. You had dug your little baby teeth into her calf so hard, she still wore the evidence of your wrath.
Back then, Rhaenyra had wailed for hours, as Viserys rubbed her back. Daemon had tried to get you to apologize, and you had just stuck out your little chin defiantly and refused to budge.
“It was mine.” You had said. Daemon, new to parenthood and not sure about how to handle you, had passed you to his wife. They had argued for hours, screaming for the whole Red Keep to hear. Daemon said your mother hadn’t raised you right. Rhea had screamed back that you had inherited his nasty nature.
If she had to choose a memory to define your personality, she would pick that afternoon. Demon child that you were, you had sat outside their room, playing with your doll. Rhaenyra never again forgot your triumphant smile.
About to become a married woman in less than two days, Rhaenyra finally understood what Septa Marlow meant about boredom of young girls. It was not achieved in an exemplary show of self reflection, no. Exempt as she was now from those silly lessons, Rhaenyra barely gave it more thought than she gave to her childhood bedtime stories.
It was from looking at you, that it started to make sense. Not because you were purity, respect, and shy subservience all incarnate, but because you weren’t. When Viserys had felt like a particularly invested parent, he used to compare you to her.
“Look at your cousin.” He would say. “Daemon tells me she is great at the harp. And she attends to the Sept daily.”
It had fueled her to be better. Because she hated you. She despised you. You had bitten her, like some sort of feral cat. You were not a Princess, but a mere Lady, yet seemed to show her in every area that you dedicated yourself to, according to Viserys.
Either Daemon had lied to him, or he had lied to her. Because did a proper lady show up to a wedding in a black and bronze dress cut in the dornish fashion? No, she did not. Yet as you walked towards the high table behind your father, Rhaenyra could not help but admire you. There was a confusing beauty in your exposed arms and collarbones, in the barest hint of a thigh that could be seen from the side when your gown moved.
It was a surprise to no one that Daemon crashed the wedding. After all, it was in his style to do so. No one bated an eyelash at it. Instead, all eyes were on you. Your gown was a statement if Rhaenyra ever saw one. House Royce stood proud today, not House Targaryen.
She wondered what Daemon thought about it. Not only were you wearing a risqué gown, but you were making a declaration. You were the daughter of Rhea Royce, and you wouldn’t be silenced. A brave stand, especially if the rumors were to be true.
Rhaenyra had heard about it, of course. Your mother’s passing and the alleged hand Daemon had had in it. You looked to be the only one looking for justice for Rhea Royce. Rhaenyra understood the feeling well. Too often, Targaryen men disregarded women in favor of advancing their ambitions.
Hadn’t Daemon done that to her in a ploy to get her off the race for the Iron Throne? Left her there, standing in the middle of a brothel, possibly to face her ruin? She betted he would have not been so happy, so easily pulled away, if it were you in that brothel. He would have burned it down and salted the earth to protect his little dragon.
You were oblivious to it, of course. But the only time that Daemon had been in agreement with Otto Hightower had been when Viserys shyly suggesting taking you as a wife. The row had been explosive, or so she had been told. One arguing that he was King and could do as he wished, Otto screaming it was giving Daemon too much power, and Daemon screaming that he was a perverted old man.
He had not seemed to care about the age difference so much in regard to her, though. Hypocrite. Yet love had a way, it appeared, of bending one’s moral compasses. Or making one grow one, in the case of Daemon.
She envied you for that, too. While Viserys had been willing to pawn her off to an old man or a child, Daemon had been insistent on finding you an age appropriate match. It was why you were still unmarried, despite being only two years younger than her.
As her father pulled a chair for you and Daemon to sit, Alicent made her own entrance, wearing a green gown. The same color Oldtown lit up in when Hightowers went to war.
“It seems she has outdone me.” You pouted, towards no one in particular. Your voice was different from what Rhaenyra remembered. Deeper and accented. You spoke in the clipped tones those in the Vale had, more proper for calling horses than noble speech. It reminded her of her mother.
“It’s my wedding, cousin.” Rhaenyra narrowed her eyes at you. Why did you have to show off all the time? You came in here, looking more like a Royce than a Targaryen and had to flaunt it in everyone's faces. “Neither of you are supposed to outdone me.”
“Girls, girls.” Her father placated, placing a hand on her arm. Rhaenyra glared. You glared at her, right back. “You both look gorgeous tonight. No need to fight.”
“Ah, right. How could I possibly forget?” You whispered, right back. “It’s all about Princess Rhaenyra tonight. And every other night. With my father, with yours…” You trailed off, bitterly. Daemon smiled at Viserys, tense. No one wanted the reminder of what had happened between Rhaenyra and him.
The Velaryons, meanwhile, look between the attendants with polite masks. But Rhaenyra can tell Rhaenys is just dying to say something. She is not very fond of her and your comment has given her the ammunition she needed.
Alicent tries to interject, perhaps redirect the conversation, but Rhaenyra is not listening. All she can see are your defiant eyes.
If you wanted to play, it was fine by her. Rhenyra was more than willing to go a few rounds. Her ego was bruised enough that she doubted anything you could say would actually hurt her. But it didn’t mean she had to tolerate your disrespect laying down.
“Dearest cousin, I notice you growing a bit thick on the hips. Tell me, have you traded the dragon for the horse?”
Lyonel Strong nearly spits out his wine. You give him a sweet smile and then say something that freezes both Rhaenyra and Alicent.
“Oh, not so often as you do. I heard you went riding with your white cloak. Where is he? I thought he might appreciate my dress tonight.”
Rhaenyra sees red. It’s the only explanation because she is dreadfully rude. She throws you the half of a pomegranate, which you gracefully catch.
Viserys laughs awkwardly.
“I think we should begin the feast. The Lady Targaryen is looking famished.”
“Of course.” Daemon immediately caught on, following his brother’s lie. Rhaenyra wanted to slap him. Was it him, who had slipped that piece of gossip to you? “How considerate of my niece for noticing.”
“She has grown into a fine flower. Although not without thorns.” Viserys whispers to Daemon, much to Rhaenyra’s disgust. It’s evident that he is talking about you. Was it only the distance from court, what kept you from taking Alicent’s place? Would her father have married you if Daemon had offered you?
After all, you have all his worst qualities. After nearly tangling in the sheets of the man, Rhaenyra is not afraid to admit it.
As if taunting her, you flash her a feral little grin. Pearly teeth on full display, you bite savagely into the pomegranate. Rhaenyra’s calf throbs in sympathy.
Her eyes are fixated only on you. She ignores Laenor’s attempt at making conversation. There is a drop of red juice gathering on your lower lip. There is a sudden urge to rub her thumb over it. Of pinching the appendix with her teeth and biting until she draws blood, all rabid hound.
Cousins. You hate them, or you love them, there is no middle point. The drop slips lower, towards your chin. You have the manners of a peasant, smearing the juices all over your face. Messy girl.
“Is there something on my face?” You ask a very flustered Corlys Velaryon, licking your lips. Daemon tuts in disapproval, but does nothing. Rhaenys looks on the verge of slapping you, but most men in the hall seem to enjoy the display. Even righteous Criston Cole looks your way for a second.
A droplet of juice travels down, down, down, between your collarbones and towards the valley of your tits. She thinks of biting down the soft hollow of your throat and not letting go until you were sweet. “Cousin, please.” Pretty eyes filled with tears, mouth agape. She can see it so clearly… Blood on your throat, all over that pretty little dornish number… Rhaenyra blinks. A trick of the light, surely. For a second, it looked like you actually were covered in blood.
“Daughter.” Daemon says, and tenderly cleans your lips with a napkin. His hands linger a little too long on your throat. Rhaenyra doesn’t know whether he wants to strangle you or is genuinely trying to clean you up and preventing yourself from making a spectacle. She understands both urges. “Please. Why don’t you go greet your other cousins?”
You give him a sultry look, from beneath your lashes. Another pout.
“Oh, Daddy…” You purr, and it’s clearly not directed at him, but to the man your eyes are fixated on. Corlys Velaryon, yet again shifting uncomfortably on his seat. Daemon clenches his fist. Her father clears her throat and gives Rhaenyra a pointed look. Get her out here, his eyes seem to say. Before Daemon punches your future father-in-law and ruins your wedding. “You are no fun.”
“Cousin.” Rhaenyra says, all high and airy. In truth, she too wants these men to stop looking at you. You are hers. Disrespectful fools, can’t they see you already claimed her? “Care for a dance?”
“Of course, Princess. Thought you never ask.” And you get up, insolent little brat that you are, and take her hand. Was it all a ploy? Were you flirting with Corlys Velaryon only to get her alone?
Insufferable brat, that you are. Of course you were.
She wonders, sometimes, what is it, that you want. You don’t care for her. You are as much of a spoiled princess as she is, yet you refuse to see it. Embracing the Royce side of your heritage favored your delusions of normalcy. Learning to hawk and hunt, riding as well as any man would. You have a dragon, of course, but it wears the Royce’s sigil proudly on its neck, and not one of the Targaryen collars.
What is it that you want? Rebel against Daemon? You resent him, surely. For leaving when you were a mere girl, and showing up to the Vale when you are a woman grown, expecting you to bend to his will. Rhaenyra can understand that. She, too, has been babied by Targaryen men. Not even Daemon, despite his lust, sees her as a woman.
It must make for an interesting dynamic. You are headstrong. So it’s Daemon. In your eyes, he abandoned you and your mother to go fight his little war and then tried to get his marriage annulled, making you a bastard, all in a ploy to bed his niece and take the throne. Said niece is only two years your senior and childhood nemesis.
She has heard you are soon to be married, but not yet to whom. Her father leans towards marrying you to Harwin Strong, son of his Hand. A way to keep Daemon under control. The match is slightly more age appropriate. They had yet to decide the problems of inheritance, though.
Rhaenyra doubts Harwin will want you, a dark, bad behaved thing who is always on edge. She has caught him looking at her more than a few times, and you are nothing alike. Oil and water. Well, more like silver and bronze.
As you walk together towards the makeshift dance floor, hand in hand, the crowd parts for you. Rhaenyra lifts her head, proudly. The music that is playing is fit for a couple’s dance, no doubt playing in hopes of luring her and Laenor to dance.
It will not be happening today, it seems. Because Rhaenyra places you in the line along with the women, taking her place among the men. Your hands feel warm in Rhaenyra’s hands, and she smiles. A true Targaryen always runs hot.
You smile back. Rhaenyra circles you, almost predatory. She drinks you in. The untamed spirit. The bewitching eyes. The bristles of teenage rebellion you have yet to shed.
The best parts of Daemon. What had pulled her in. Yet, not the same. Not at all.
You circle back, eyes narrowed. At the high table, your fathers watch. Both of them are pleased by what seems to be the end of the hostilities. They have no idea how you vex Rhaenyra, with those enchanting eyes of yours. How much she wants to find out what's inside that pretty skull, what makes you tick.
Then, the unexpected. As Rhaenyra extends her hand, about to make you twirl, you twirl her instead. Taking the lead from her. You twirl her, and as she comes out of it, it turns into a battle for dominance again. Rhaenyra starts doing the figures for the male partner a little more aggressively, clapping near your ear and forcing you to move to her will.
You struggle, at first. Then you give in. Sweet little cousin that you are, submitting to your Princess and future Queen. Yet, your smile is as ferocious as ever, shiny teeth just begging to sink into her and pull. Feral. As always.
The dance finishes with the two of you standing close, so close Rhaenyra can count every one of your lashes. Your chest rises and falls, lifting your tits tantalizingly. She thinks of licking the sweat from the valley between them, of biting the soft flesh. Of your beautiful little gasps.
Would your eyes light up in bed the same way hers do? After all, Viserys and Daemon are brothers. Both of you share some subtle similarities. Rhaenyra wonders if laying you down on her bed might be like having sex with her reflection. A distorted one, perhaps.
You stand in black, while she does it in white.
“We shouldn't.” Your voice breaks the spell. Despite your eyes constantly darting towards her lips, which Rhaenyra cannot help but lick, you seem spooked. She brushes a hand against your cheek, softly. Tilting your head just so to kiss you. “This is wrong.” You say, expression delightfully tortured. No matter your protests, you close your eyes, leaning into her.
She is so close to breaking you.
“You are a Targaryen.” It's the wrong thing to say. You pull away from her touch, frowning.
“And you are about to get married.”
“Aegon the Conqueror had two wives.” Rhaenyra presses. She is willing if it means having you. If your ancestor married sisters, why can't Laenor marry cousins?
“Does Laenor look to you like a man who could handle a wife, much less two?” You smile, showing her your canines in a bitter gesture. “My father seduces whores with that same line. Get your own.”
Joyfully, you go, right into Ser Harwin's arms. You start dancing with him. You don't look as good as you did when dancing with her. Your blush and your little giggles seem to put the man under a trance. Rhaenyra scowls. So much for wanting her. Good gods, were his affections so fickle? Were yours?
Wanting entertainment for the night, she glances at Daemon. Ugh. Dancing with that girl, Laena. Men. Always led by their cocks.
She doesn't want Daemon. She is not sure what she wants, in truth. Does she want you because you are so much like him? Or did she want him because he reminded her of you?
What was first, the dragon or the egg?
Rhaenyra is the one with fickle affections, much to her horror. As she stands in the middle of the dance floor, she feels adrift at the realization she has a type. Targaryens. Rhaenyra likes you, defiant little grins and all. But what really warms her blood is the thought of you and her being similar.
Is that what Daemon felt when looking at her? This deep connection, the urge to grab you and pull you away from Ser Harwin's arms, whose hands are straying lower and lower down your back. And you are letting him. You are letting him touch you, and sure, he is handsome. But you are a Princess, even if not in title. You are hers, as much Daemon is Viserys's.
Rhaenyra knows you want her. How could you not, when you looked at her with those eyes? As your own face crept closer and closer, it was clear Rhaenyra was not the only one who wanted that kiss. You had played along.
Now she is dancing with Laenor, making a pretty show. Your eyes track her every movement, despite being in the arms of your soon-to-be fiancé.
Everything is as it is supposed to be. You grin at Harwin, but Rhaenyra knows it lacks your usual strength. You are not at ease with the man and it shows. Oh, what wouldn't she do to pluck you from his arms and dance with you again.
Perhaps there is a way. Rhaenyra hides her smirk, passing it off as a smile to Laenor. As soon as the dance ends, she rushes to your side.
“Dearest cousin, you must stay with us for some weeks.” She says, interrupting you and Harwin. The man looks vaguely amused, a flicker of interest in his dark eyes. “The wedding has me thinking about our mothers, and how soon such a joyous occasion might come for you too.”
“Hm.” You answer, raising your eyebrows. The mention of your mother is a low thing to do, but it's the truth. Look at you, a maiden ripe for the taking. Marriage alliances, enviable prospects, yet motherless.
“I was thinking, as my marriage progresses, I could hope to be of guidance, just as Queen Alicent has been for me.”
“Guidance?” You ask, frowning. Maybe Rhaenyra had laid it a bit thick. She must redirect, less you spook again.
“There is much to be learned about marriage, of course. And it's my duty as the eldest cousin to prepare you for it.”
Ser Harwin's eyebrows raise. You give her your signature feral little grin. She wonders what those teeth will feel like again on her skin. Hesitantly, you place your arm on hers and allow her to pull you off the dance floor.
If you had yet to know or not the joys of the marital bed was no matter. The excuse was as good as any for getting you to stay. Rhaenyra would have to thank Daemon for that one.
638 notes · View notes
s-awturn · 3 months ago
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Us, again || CS55
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summary: Abandoned in a strange country, with no money, friends or family and a positive pregnancy test, Y/N finds herself on the brink of unprecedented chaos. There is no one she can count on, except her ex best friend, who she didn't want to have to turn to.
cw: conflict, abandonment, crying crisis and mention of an anxiety attack. Old conflict, nostalgia, separation, problem solving, relationship to be established, ex-friends to lovers. Extreme cuteness
a/n: I wanted to start something like this, and Carlos and Toto are always my favorites for angst and this plot arose especially for the grid's smooth operator. And I articulated the details of the story while reading "my tears ricochet" by @spngi and it's no secret to anyone that I'm a drama girl, so be aware that this is going to be a lot of drama, something cute and sweet, we'll see how it turns out.
a/n¹: notes: oh my god, this took so long to finish, I almost gave up when Tumblr lost everything I had ever written (I almost cried) after four attempts, three days, I finally finished it, anyway, I hope you like it, yay!
Freely inspired by Taylor Swift's "cardigan".
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“I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs / The smell of smoke would hang around this long / 'Cause I knew everything when I was young / I knew I'd curse you for the longest time”
"This isn't happening, Y/N, Don't fucking fuck with me! This isn't happening!" I hear Aaron's raised voice as he walks through the hotel room, in my hands, an urgent ultrasound and a pregnancy test with a static "positive" on the test screen. "I can't be a father now!"
"I also didn't choose to be a mother now, Aaron, much less did I make this child alone!" I respond, equally upset and stand in front of him, I would never let him, or any man in the world, get above me.
"So it's decided, we will have the abortion" he says as if it were simple, and my mind spins in a huge spiral, I don't know if abortion is an option for me, much less in a strange country and in circumstances like this. "Ireland guarantees the right to abortion, we can do it today, hopefully!"
Aaron holds my arms tightly and shakes me lightly, trying to convince me. I move away from him as if I had been shocked and stop in the other corner of the suite, looking at him as if he were a stranger.
"I'm not going to have an abortion, much less in a foreign country! I cannot and will not decide this overnight, Aaron!" I speak and I see him become more exasperated and veins grow on his forehead, a sign of stress.
"You've got to be fucking kidding," he complains, and I don't like the glazed look he's giving me. "You can't decide? Y/N, fuck, we have plans, we start our trip now and you can’t decide?”
"No, we're talking about my body! Whether I carry this pregnancy forward or not, is my decision!" My voice echoes in the room and Aaron sighs, I feel a bad shiver running up my spine when I see my boyfriend's green eyes go dark.
"You're right, it's your decision, it's your body..." He rests his hands on his hips, breathing deeply "let's sleep, we'll go back to London and talk better"
I nod and change into comfortable pajamas. The test and ultrasound are forgotten on the table. All around us, the strange tension and feeling of something wrong only allow me to sleep much later than I would like. Aaron falls asleep as soon as he hits the pillow.
-- ♡ --
I wake up as the sun escapes the translucent curtains, my body hurts like I've been hit by a truck. I barely open my eyes and my intuition kicks in and I sit up so quickly that my muscles groan with pain, there is no sign of Aaron, his bags are not in their place, I jump out of bed and open the safe, I only find my passport, torn up, in fact. No sign of my cards or the money we brought for the trip.
Tears burn my eyes as the truth crashes down on my head.
Aaron abandoned me in Ireland, alone, without money and with my documents torn up, he destroyed me. I start to hyperventilate, there's no one I can ask for help, no one to rescue me, I'm alone in a country I don't even know. My boyfriend left me, alone, pregnant, without money or any fucking support.
"Son of a bitch!" I scream and collapse on the floor, crying without stopping, I should have followed my instincts, but I trusted that he would never do something like that to me, I trusted his feelings. I was such a idiot! It takes me a few minutes to recover, taking deep breaths with my left hand on my flat stomach.
"I'll find a way to get us out of this, baby, I promise" my voice shakes and I try to stop crying. "Your stupid mom will find a way, we'll be fine soon"
After forty minutes between "I'll fix this" and "Oh my God, I'm fucked", I call the hotel reception, and I have the excellent news that my stay is guaranteed for another eight days, a Since Aaron — my stupid fucking ex — we paid before we left. At least I have a guaranteed roof over my head for a week, with food and clean clothes, I wouldn't be completely homeless.
My parents passed away years ago, my friends walked away from me when I started dating Aaron, which means I'm fucking alone.
A new bout of crying chokes my throat and I'm tired of being strong, I can't believe that stupid man left me and stole my money. I feel so, so destroyed. I face the test and the ultrasound, I wanted my mother to be here, I wanted her to comfort me and tell me everything would be okay.
Five days later.
"Wow, really? One hundred and fifty euros for a new passport? I don't have that money!" my hope dies as soon as I understand how bad my situation is. "I have the police report, isn't that worth anything?"
"I can check with my superiors, but it will take at least two weeks, Miss L/N"
"Two weeks? I can't afford to stay here for two weeks, I have no money!" My voice shakes and I suppress the urge to cry.
"It's the best I can do, Miss"
"Well, thank you then..." I thank you grudgingly and hang up. It's been five days since Aaron left, in the meantime, I've sunk into so much self-pity that I'm sharing the rent with Samara. I've swallowed my pride the last few days and called some old friends, but all the calls went to voicemail, and that doesn't surprise me.
What did I expect? That they would welcome me with open arms after I turned my back on everyone? How I was deceived;
My reservation will expire in three days, and then I will literally be in the gutter of Dublin, with no chance of returning to London, all the disappointment turns my stomach and brings on the disgusting feeling of sickness, I only have time to run to the bathroom and vomit my breakfast into the toilet. I don't know if it's a symptom of pregnancy or if it's a consequence of the horrible situation I'm in. I brush my teeth and go back to the room, going straight to the suite's balcony and facing the view of the city, I hope Dublin's landscape makes me forget how bad everything is around me. Sitting on the lounge chair, looking at the azaleas on the balcony wall, she absently ran her fingers over her belly; If you asked me a few days ago if I wanted to be pregnant, my answer would have been a giant "no", but now, I feel anxious about the little things.
Looking forward to buying the baby's clothes, choosing the color of the room or making a list of names, nothing will be easy, I know, but I will make it work, even with all the difficulties and problems, I will strive to be a good mother, and a father too if necessary.
"You didn't come at a good time, little one, but I promise I'll do everything I can for you" I murmur, trying to be confident and find some way out. There are no more tears to cry, there's no more pain to suffer so I'm not going to waste any more energy on it, fuck Aaron, I'm capable of taking care of everything, I just need some time, but I'll make it. I remain on the balcony until the end of the afternoon, when the hotel reception calls me, letting me know that dinner is already served, the mention of food makes me salivate with hunger, in the same way that it shakes my stomach in previous waves of nausea. "I need energy to sort things out for us, little one, so you can let mommy keep the food down today, huh?”
I talk to my stomach as I look for my cell phone in the mess on the bed, ignoring the pieces of my passport, otherwise I would have a tantrum and be able to get to England by swimming. I greet some guests, who ask me how I am and if the baby is already giving me trouble, and they also ask me if I managed to solve the passport problem. These same guests found out about this when they found me in tears at the reception, sympathizing with the situation I was in.
"We're fine, he's already deciding what he likes to eat, and avocado toast isn't on the list" I say laughing as we go downstairs. The restaurant is not that crowded, most guests prefer to dine in local restaurants and pubs, so most of the seats were vacant, the process of serving my food and choosing the table furthest from the air conditioning takes less than ten minutes. The food on my plate is almost gone when I'm drawn to the call of an Irish sports program, they were going to rebroadcast the Monaco GP qualifying, with comments from the commentators. I don't even notice the time passing, I end up staying there in the restaurant as the guests leave and say goodbye to me, and my heart starts racing like a rocket when the camera focuses on Carlos Sainz.
"I haven't heard anything from him since... Oh, it's been so long..." I murmur, resting my chin in my hands, hoping he can get a good position. Even though I haven't been to the races for some time, I still know how things work and I also know that Monaco is a difficult circuit. I can't help but be thrilled when he gets P2, it was quite an achievement! This leads me to wonder if he still keeps the same phone number.
Can Carlos help me... I know I'm being selfish, but I have no one else to turn to, and I'm about to despair. We were friends until one of his girlfriends decided that there was no more room in Carlos' life for me, until she decided that I could no longer come between them, not that I would, I always wanted my best friend to be happy, with whoever he was, and what hurt the most was Carlos agreeing with her and cutting me out of his life. Carlos was my best friend.
"It doesn't hurt to try, I already have the 'no'" I murmur, sliding my finger across my cell phone while I look for his phone. With my heart racing, I press "call" and wait and at the height of my anxiety, I count the seconds until he answers. Thirty seconds until I hear Carlos' familiar voice.
"Hello?" He says and I can't hold back my tears, like an emotional idiot.
"Carlos?"
"Y/N? Is that really you?" He looks as surprised as I am.
"Well yes, it's me" I give a choked laugh, the tears are blocking my nose, soon I'll be exhausted. "I know we're not friends anymore, Carlos, but I need your help... I don't would bother you if it wasn't necessary"
I hear the sound of a door closing and a strong accent complaining in what I think is French.
"You would never bother me, how can I help you, cielo?"
And then I talk, I say everything that's happening, my sobs make me cry in some parts, the hormones are already in an uproar, apparently. Carlos listens to me without interrupting once, and if I know him well, I know he's messing up his hair and frowning like he always does when he's concentrating.
"I wouldn't be calling if I weren't desperate, Carlos..."
"Calm down, calm down, you did well in the place, cielo, I won't be able to go, of course, but you'll be home soon, I promise" he says, there are no signs of hesitation in his voice and It comforts me in a way I can never explain. I hear the sound of drawers opening and a sheet of paper being torn apart "give me the address of the hotel, I won't be able to go, because of the rush, but I will send my advisor to take care of everything, don't worry, bien?"
"Thank you, thank you so much! I can't even tell you how grateful I am" I speak emotionally and give the hotel address next to the phone, in case I don't answer.
"There's no need to thank me, cielo, I would never leave you helpless, never" he assures me and I feel eighteen again, sitting on the sidewalk outside my house with him, the two of us eating ice cream and talking about his season. Oh God, I missed him so much.
"Congratulations on P2, you were great" I say sincerely, Carlos is a great driver and I know how much he works every day, I don't need to be with him to know, he is very obstinate.
"Oh, did you watch it? Thanks, Y/N"
We stay silent on the line, sharing our breaths until I break.
"I don't have enough words to thank you, Carlos, but thank you, you saved me" I say, swallowing the lump that suddenly appeared in my throat. "I need to sleep now... Good luck in the race tomorrow, I'll be rooting for you"
"Thank you cielo, have a good night" he says and we remain on the call until I hang up. Carlos and I have always shared silence, staying silent has never been a problem between us. When I lock myself in my room, all the weight of that day falls on me like a stone, I take a hot shower and lie down, tormented by memories.
"You don't call me anymore, so I came to see you, your mother told me you were here" I say, entering his room, something we always did, Carlos and I always went to each other's houses.
"Well, I didn't return your call for a reason" he said and I saw Isabella, his current girlfriend come out of the bathroom, wearing one of his shirts. "We'll talk later, Y/N"
“You never call me Y/N, what’s wrong, cielo?”
"We can't be friends anymore" He says it without pity, harshly and even cruelly.
"Huh? Why? Because of Isabella?"
"Isabella has nothing to do with this" he says quickly, standing in front of his girlfriend, Isabella puts on shorts and says she will give us privacy, I don't even look at her face, keeping his eyes on Carlos. "your feelings do!"
"What the fuck are you talking about, Carlos?! My feelings? Are you crazy?
"I heard your conversation with Blanca" he confesses and I feel my heart stop, he shouldn't have... "Don't make me say, Y/N, So spare us the humiliation of having to break your heart over feelings that should never exist, because you know, we would never have anything."
I could call him names, fight him, or do anything else, but I just nodded and took off the friendship bracelet we had made last summer. A stupid symbol of our bond, which no longer exists.
"I think you're right, I hope you're immensely happy, cielo and that you can achieve everything you dream of" I leave the bracelet on his desk before leaving the room. I say goodbye to Mrs. Sainz and Blanca, Carlos' sister apologizes, she didn't know he was listening. "It's my fault, there's no need to apologize"
I said goodbye to them, aware that it would be the last time we would see each other like that, I had been accepted at a university in England and with the death of my parents, nothing kept me in Spain anymore. Except only for Carlos.
But not anymore, that was the last time I spoke to Carlos.
My heart jumps when I wake up, I feel my face wet and I confirm that just like in the memories, I cried. I really had feelings for Carlos, but I was willing to ignore them if it meant having my best friend with me, I didn't care if he was dating or anything, I just needed him, I didn't have anyone else, feelings that shouldn't have even arisen. I didn't want to ask him for help, but I knew I would never have the courage to ask Blanca, Reyes or Mr. Carlos, so I had to swallow my pride and call him.
I'm still looking at the hotel ceiling, thinking about the floodgate that Carlos opened in me, with just one phone call. I thought I was over it, that the hurt and resentment were gone. As for the mistake, I was as hurt and resentful as years ago, it still hurt as if it had been done yesterday. My daydreams are interrupted by a call from an unknown number, I answer and make the mistake of answering while yawning.
"I'm sorry, please, I just woke up" I ask before hearing the person, who laughs, I would recognize that laugh anywhere, even in a crowd. "Carlos"
"Sorry for waking you up, cielo" he says and I feel my skin itch, the nickname takes me back to good days, where everything was sweet and full of dreams.
"Relax, I literally just woke up. Is everything okay?"
"Yes, yes everything is fine, I just called to let you know that there will be a car to pick you up at one o'clock in the afternoon, you will be taken to a private flying field straight to London" he says, I hear the buzz of the pitlane in the background, lots of shouting in Italian and the uproar of the crowd. The race would start soon. "Is everything okay with you, cielo? Can you get it ready in time?"
"Yes, definitely yes, I didn't want to bother you, Carlos, especially before a race."
"Ah" he clicked his tongue, dismissing my apology "it's no big deal, I promised I would take you home and I will, there will be a car at the private airport to take you home, just give your address to the driver, and don't worry about paying anything, you only need to worry about eating and resting during the trip, as for your passport, I scheduled a time for you to get a new copy of your document, in three days, you will receive a memo on your cell phone."
My throat constricted, well here I am feeling like crying again, these hormones are still going to make me dehydrated from crying, or my tears would dry up at some point.
"You're being a guardian angel for me, Carlos, I'll never thank you enough" I murmur hoarsely, swallowing the tears.
"Oh no, no please, don't cry, you know I never know how to deal with your tears" he says and I know he's despairing, which makes me laugh and sniffle, in a strange way that I know I've never done before "I'm not doing anything much, if with all this money, I can't do something simple like take you home, what is all this for?"
"I know, thank you very, very much... I'll pack my bags and have coffee, you'll do well in this race, I know that" I say quickly and hang up before it gets awkward, or rather, weirder.
The following hours are a mess, checking in at the hotel, the journey to the runway and much of the flight are done with my mind on standby, I could only think about how betrayed I felt by Aaron's attitude, how I needed to swallow my pride and ask for help from someone I swore I wouldn't see again. The Earth turned several times until it threw me into Carlos Sainz's life once again. I sink into the armchair looking at the fluffy clouds through the window.
"I said I would find a way, little one, and we're going home now. Maybe you'll question my methods in the future, but not my results" I laugh at my own joke and I let my hands rest on my belly, I suddenly feel anxious to see it bigger, Being a mother was not a goal for the next five years, I'm not at all prepared for motherhood, but I don't know how to describe the panic that gripped my heart when Aaron suggested the interruption. I have a stable job, which allows me to work from home and a flexible schedule, I have a small apartment, but with an extra room for the baby and well, I decided to move on. I already feel very connected to the baby, and there is a break in the loneliness that I have felt for years, it is good not to feel alone.
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My cell phone rings the moment I turn the key in the lock, Carlos' name flashes on the display and I answer it while trying to push my bags inside.
"The driver just told you he dropped you off at home, did everything go well? Were the flight attendants kind to you?"
"Yes, yes, everything was fine, Carlos, the flight attendants are really cute, I was treated very well, you can put your weapons away" I breathe a sigh of relief as I sit down on my sofa, finally away from all that hell I went through in Dublin.
"That's good, cielo, I've been worried about you all day"
I don't know what to answer, I don't know what Carlos expects from me after all these years, after so much distance.
"I'm glad you're home and well, cielo, I'll let you rest now"
Another time, we are silent on the call until I ask "did you win?"
“It was Charles' home race, my job was to make sure he won, but I got second place” he says, there's a certain 'job done' tone in his voice. "I'm happy with today's result"
"That's good, I'm happy for you, and for your teammate" I say sincerely.
"Thank you, that matters a lot... Anyway, rest okay? You can't sleep late anymore, take care cielo, call me for whatever you need, anything, don't hesitate" he says with such firmness that It almost makes me uncomfortable, so we hang up. I don't know if Carlos is back in my life and I don't know if I'm okay with that. It's so confusing, but I don't need to deal with it right now, I have more important things to take care of.
Almost two weeks later, I got a new passport, applied for new cards and was being monitored by an obstetrician. Luckily I didn't run into Aaron a single day, I changed the locks, I threw his things in the trash and made my transition from a committed woman to a single woman smoothly.
"What do I need to buy at the market?" I mutter as I check cupboards and fridge, licorice dangling from my lips. "milk, eggs, sugar, tomatoes and pasta... Cheese and bacon, for sure" Maybe I'll make a carbonara when I get home from the store. I had been in the middle of an Italian food fixation for days, all I wanted was pasta, tomatoes and cheese. Just when I finish making the market list, my campaign rings and I have a heart attack when I see no one other than Carlos Sainz — and all his other surnames — standing at my door.
"Carlos? What are you doing here?"
"I don't know, to be honest I don't know, but after you called me, I couldn't stop thinking about seeing you again" He says it so fast I think he's going to choke and I pull him into the apartment before the neighbors see him and decide to hold a carnival on my doorstep. He wastes a few seconds looking around, for an instant I saw my best friend there, the guy who knew everything about my life and who today, knew nothing about me anymore, big breakthrough.
"I'm sorry if you think that explains anything," I reply, looking at how lost he looks. "but again, what do you want here, Carlos?"
"I want to apologize, I was a shitty friend to you, I was cruel, I belittled your feelings, you are the most amazing and resilient person I know" he says, taking a step towards me, I don't back away, but I make it clear that he is not welcome in my personal space. "Life without you has been bad, very bad and I only realized that when I saw you, weeks ago."
"Walking away was the best thing we did, Carlos. God knows how we would have ended up if you hadn't put an end to it."
"No, it shouldn't have, it wasn't the right thing! We were left without our best friends because we didn't know how to deal with things, I didn't know"
"Carlos, you can't be best friends with the guy you're in love with, at some point I would hate you and that would be worse"
"and you didn't hate it?"
I keep quiet, because yes, I hated him for a long time, I still think I do and I don't even know why I'm trying to defend him. It must be the hormones talking.
"Yeah, yes I hated you for a long time, maybe I still hate you, but you were my best friend, I can't hate you forever"
I look at the man who was my mainstay for years, my confidant, best friend, accomplice, the guy who won my heart with gumdrops and notes in candy wrappers. The man I fell in love with and broke my heart. There is a mixture of feelings in me, hurt, pain, hope, resentment, all of it shaking my heart nonstop, I don't know what to feel.
"I don't know if I can have you around, Carlos, you were really my best friend, but you were also the guy I fell in love with and who broke my heart, I don't know if I'm ready to have you back"
He swallows, taking in what I said, and for a moment, I think he's going to give up and walk away, but he nods and straightens his posture "okay, I'm going to prove that I'm sorry, for everything, for being a shitty friend, a stupid guy, I'm going to make you forgive me and" he pauses, to emphasize everything "I'll be with you, I'll make up for all the years, all the pain, I'll deserve you, Y/N, I swear"
I don't even know what to think, my mind goes blank as I try to understand what he's up to.
"What if I don't want to?" The question escapes my mouth without permission, the filter between my brain and mouth is off, apparently. "What makes you think I might want you in my life again?"
He doesn't respond for a few minutes, I can almost see the gears in Carlos' head turning, trying to find a good answer.
"Nothing, but that's never been an impediment for me, you know"
I just stare at him, surprised by that, my mouth articulates, but no sound comes out.
"You came all the way here from Spain for this?"
"I would come from anywhere in the world"
After that there wasn't much we could say, Carlos insisted on staying and making pancakes for me, and I couldn't say no as my stomach growled like a monster at the mention of food. In an instant I was watching Carlos move everything in my kitchen, he chops strawberries and blackberries while letting the pancake batter rest for a while.
“Aaron looked for you?” He questions, putting the fruit in a bowl and only looks at me when I sigh loudly. "What? Has he been bothering you? I'll sort it out"
"What? No, no! He didn't show up"
"Then why do you look frustrated?" I watch Carlos put the frying pan on the fire and add the yeast to the dough, and then stir gently, placing small discs in the hot pan.
"I'm just tired, all the stress from the trip is still affecting my sleep..." I murmur, stealing a piece of strawberry, the smell of the pancakes increases my hunger and Carlos laughs when he hears my belly rumbling. "Don't laugh, I'm eating for two and you have no idea how much this little one likes to eat"
We enter another silent space, Carlos focused on finishing the pancakes and my mind wanders to our conversation, some time before. I'm not a hypocrite in saying that I've already forgiven Carlos, but I don't think there's still space for that kind of resentment, I'm not eighteen anymore, I'm about to be a mother, I no longer have the time or inclination to feed old grudges. And God knows how much I missed him all these years, I refused to watch any races so I wouldn't have to see him. Calling Carlos and asking for his help seems to have put all our dramas in order, It made me understand that one way or another, my life would end up intertwined with his again.
No matter how much I wanted or tried, I would never be able to completely move away from Carlos, and it's time to accept that.
"Here you go, eat it all, I don't want your baby to grow up hating me" he says and pushes over a plate full of pancakes, berries, honey and some icing sugar. A beautiful montage.
"I hope it's good, or we'll both hate you" I reply and laugh when he turns pale, I take out a generous piece and the sweet smell intoxicates me for a few seconds. I go to heaven and back when I chew the piece of pancake, the taste is light and the dough melts in my mouth, I know I can eat this for the rest of my life and be happy every day.
"Holy fucking God, this is perfect, Carlos!" I take a piece of pancake with a strawberry and feel heaven on my tongue, a moan of appreciation makes my whole body vibrate, this is perfect, damn"If you had used that to apologize, I would have definitely accepted it from the beginning."
"if I had known food was the secret, I would have come prepared" He laughs as I finish eating, nothing more is said until I finish the second helping, which Carlos was happy to serve me.
I slide my finger across the plate, picking up the traces of honey and sugar, humming as I literally wipe the plate clean. I insist that he put everything in the dishwasher and come sit with me so we can sort everything out, once and for all.
"I still can't believe you came all the way to London... You got my address from the driver and you're here, making me pancakes and everything..." I say, playing with one of the cushions while Carlos takes the armchair in front of me. I allow myself to face him, he's even more handsome than before, the trail of beard over his chiseled jaw, his thick hair in an elegant mess, Carlos is a vision of fucking paradise.
"I'm not lying, Y/N, I really want to make amends with you, in any way" he assures, and breaks the distance between us, sitting next to me while holding my hands. "You missed me so much, and when you called me crying, I realized that we missed so much from each other, I wanted you to be at my first victory with Ferrari, I wanted to see your graduation, help you move in... "
In a strange way, I'm grateful that he doesn't mention the fact that I was in love with him, not that I'm ashamed of it, but ignoring it might make us easier to get along with.
"We can try, Carlos, try to be friends again, because my goodness, I missed you so much" I confess and he laughs.
"I promise to make it worth it, cielo" he squeezes my hands, running his thumb affectionately from the back of my hand. "I won't disappoint you"
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"I bet it'll be a boy," he says, stealing a spoonful of my ice cream, fast enough to avoid the hit of my spoon on his hand. "God said to share bread, you know?"
"Exactly, He said to share the bread, not my ice cream" I mumble, protecting the container with my body. Carlos has been coming to my house for weeks, always bringing food — I'm beginning to suspect that it has a direct connection to my stomach and my hunger —, gifts for the baby and books on child psychology, food introduction and everything he considers necessary to educate a child. He's been taking over my couch whenever he has time off. I dare say that I see more Carlos than my neighbors. "And why do you think it will be a boy? This is misogyny, Sainz"
He tries to steal my ice cream again and this time I slap him right in the middle of the forehead, which is effective because he moves away. "I'm not being sexist, I'm following my intuition, okay?"
"The last time we followed your intuition, we ended up in the middle of nowhere, at three in the morning in a car without gas. If it weren't for my father, you would be grounded to this day." I respond, changing the sofa, Carlos is willing to steal my ice cream, interfering with a pregnant woman's right to satisfy her desire for a sweet treat after lunch. I'm going to report him to human rights.
"But do you think it's a boy or a girl?"
"I have no idea, I still don't have that 'maternal intuition' that I've seen in the support group for solo mothers, but I'm fine with any option, I'll love it regardless of gender" I say, my right hand slides over my recently completed five-month-old belly. "I should have found out the sex at the last appointment with the obstetrician, but this little one here had his back turned, can you believe it?"
Carlos laughs, throwing his entire body back and falling onto the sofa. I just watch him laugh, being enveloped by his laughter like a fluffy blanket.
"Seriously, I didn't even know that was possible, crossing your legs, ok, but being on your back is something new" he says, still laughing and drying his tears. I just realize how close he is, When I feel your hand on my belly, the calloused palm warms my skin even with the shirt between us. My breath hitches in my throat, something new growing and It's not just the little traveler in my womb... I don't know if that could be a good thing, especially considering our history.
"Yeah, she told me to go back there in a few days, if I want to find out the gender before the sixth month, then I'll be there on Tuesday, I won't have a meeting at work and I can buy the paints" I explain, poking at the ice cream, trying to distract myself from Carlos' hand on my belly.
"I just need to be in Maranello on Saturday, so I can join you if you want" he suggests, finally moving to his end of the sofa.
"Really? I don't want to disturb you, I know race week is coming and you need to prepare" I say trying, I don't even know what I'm trying, I'm going to blame my exploding hormones.
"I can deal with that later, you need my opinion on paint colors and someone to hold your hand while you root for the business class traveler to be facing forward this time" he said, and looks at me meaningfully "that is, I am most needed here"
"Are you sure? You don't need to go"
"I would be there, even if I were playing crosswords in the office waiting room" he says, without giving me any chance for discussion.
"Okay, whoever said that is no longer here, now pass the ice cream slowly and no one gets hurt" I say and hold out my hand, waiting for the container he stole when he thought I wasn't looking. "Now"
"That's unfair," he grumbles, handing over the pot.
"I'll let you have the ice cream if you get pregnant in my place."
"You win, you can have the ice cream"
-- ♡ --
"Do you want me to come in with you?" He asks and I bite my lip to keep from laughing, Carlos is holding my bag under his shoulder. Quite a scene.
"I need someone to hold my hand, and" I look behind him "I don't see any more volunteers, so smile, you've been selected" I smile, waving my index finger as if it were a flag.
"Okay, let's confirm that my intuition is right"
"Uh-huh, of course yes, cielo" I say, entering the office.
The obstetrician doesn't need to ask any initial questions, since I was here a few days ago, so asking how I am is irrelevant. I change into that horrible hospital gown and lie down on the stretcher, Carlos looks anxious in the passenger seat and my hand grabs his so fast I don't even register it, I laugh nervously as the cold gel is spread across my bulging belly.
"Let's hope he's being an exhibitionist today" she says confidently and starts to use the device.
"How can you understand anything here, it's all blurry" he says, approaching the screen. "Where is his head?"
"Shut up, chilli" I say, but I give a nervous laugh "I don't understand anything either, so let those who do understand tell you what we're seeing", I shake his hand and receive an eager smile.
"We're lucky today, he's turned around, or rather, she" she indicates on the screen and I start crying immediately, Carlos squeezes my hand and wipes my tears. "Congratulations, you will be parents of a very strong-willed girl."
"Oh, no, no, I'm just the family friend" Carlos corrects her, but this is forgotten, given how much I'm crying. "You're crying a lot, should I be worried, cielo?"
"I-I'm fine" I sniffle crying less, I'm having a little girl, I don't even know what to say, I'm exploding like fireworks "I'm fine, really"
"I'll leave you two alone" the obstetrician leaves and I feel, cleaning the gel from my abdomen and I am hugged tightly, Carlos supports me with care and zeal, there is so much between the lines here, so much implied.
"That little girl is so lucky to be born as your daughter" he murmurs, stroking my hair gently "a little girl, damn you were right, my intuition is shit"
I press my hands to his shoulder blades so hard I feel my fingers tremble. "Thanks for coming"
"There's no place in the world I should be, cielo"
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"You want me to go to the next race? Why?"
"I like having important people cheering me on there, and Charles is bothering me to meet you" he says, painting the wall lilac, he's all dirty, there's dye in his hair, and of course, he is shirtless. As long as I don't have a knife at my neck, I will never confess that the vision is messing with me. "I will take care of everything, you can stay in the same hotel as me"
"You should stop taking care of everything, or you'll have a heart attack instead of appendicitis" I murmur, Carlos insisted that I sit and watch him paint, he even brought books, chopped fruit and even Alexa to play my favorite playlist. "Seriously Charles Leclerc wants to meet me? Why?"
"I have no idea, Charles must have heard it one of the times you called me" he replies. Carlos speaks so quickly that there's no way not to be suspicious, but I give him the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure Charles will tell me why.
"Mhmm, I know... Now I'm curious to meet him too... But the trip to Budapest can be so tiring..." I murmur, peeling the pear as I watch him slide the paint roller along the wall perfectly, Carlos is meticulous and perfectionist in everything he sets out to do, so I admire the paint stains in his hair and on different parts of his body, thank God the fan is on here, otherwise I would be melting from the heat, and having him there, almost naked, doesn't help much.
“It’s not like I’m going to let you take a commercial flight to Hungary, please Y/N, I’m not that petty!” He retorts, touching up the paint on the roller while giving me a quick look "You will go with me to Budapest, on a private flight and I will leave you staying in the same hotel as me, if you are worried, I will hire a private neonatal nurse to accompany us, but I really want you to go, it's important for me to have you two there with me."
"If you insist on that—..." I try to say, but he interrupts me.
"I insist yes, and I'm glad you agreed, I was ready to start the Infallible Convincing Plan for Carlos Sainz" he says and I laugh loudly "What? Am I not convincing?"
"Persuasion isn't one of your best qualities, chilli" I mutter, picking up the folded sheet of paper from among the books he brought me "changing the subject, I listed the female names that I liked most for the baby, feel free to give your opinion, I'm quite undecided here, I have good options."
"I'm listening, I hope they are good names and none taken from the books, considering how obsessed with A Court of Roses and Thorns you are, the girl is in danger of being called Feyre" Carlos shamelessly mocks me and I throw the pear stem at him. "I'm just telling the truth, cielo, but come on, give me the options"
"You know, Ancient Egypt has been my Roman Empire for years, so I thought I would pay homage to one of the greatest queens of that civilization, none other than Cleopatra, but" I pause, aware that Carlos will want to object, so I continue quickly "I chose to shorten the name, Cleo. It's a good option, right?"
"It's a beautiful, elegant and feminine name. I like it, you have a good option" he responds, with his back to me, giving a beautiful view of his lats contracting and relaxing. Oh God, what a hell of a handsome man.
"Well, the next option is Athena, as the Greek goddess of justice, wisdom and war, I don't think I need to explain further, right?"
"It's good, but I still prefer Cleo"
"I like Margot and Elena, they are both elegant and short, I didn't think about long and complicated names, I don't want her to have problems learning to write her own name"
"It's a good justification, giving her a name that's easy to read and write... So I still prefer Cleo"
"Don't you want to hear the other options?"
"Nope, I like Cleo, it's beautiful and very meaningful, and it matches her last name, she'll love it, when she understands it"
I hadn't thought about my last name when choosing the names, so Carlos' reasoning makes sense, so I already had a name chosen.
"Alright, we have a winner, I like Cleo too, thanks for helping me choose"
"You're welcome, we are here to serve well and always serve" he makes an exaggerated bow and I laugh.
"Oh really? My kitchen faucet is dripping non-stop, can you fix it for me?" I ask ironically and Carlos wipes the sweat from his face, giving me another meaningful look.
"Of course yes, cielo, I'll sort it out as soon as I'm done here"
"I'm kidding, chilli, you don't have to worry about it"
"But not me, I'll sort it out as soon as it's over" he insists and I give up trying to make him give up, Carlos is as stubborn as a wild horse, it's no wonder he's at Ferrari. Which makes me think of something:
"I agree to go with you, but I want to meet Lewis, it's my condition" I point my index finger and Carlos looks at me, raising his eyebrow.
"Really? I need to find out what makes Lewis Hamilton so appealing to the female audience" I can't identify the feeling in his voice, and I adjust myself in the seat, stroking my protruding belly. Being pregnant isn't easy, the nausea, all the swelling and fluid retention is horrible, I was already sleeping poorly because my belly wouldn't let me find a comfortable position and of course, I've already lost all my clothes. But I don't regret for a moment having continued with the pregnancy, my little traveler is a gift, Cleo already makes my days wonderful. I observe the lilac covering the walls little by little, making her room take on shape and color, soon the furniture would be assembled.
"I think it's the voice, he has a very good voice to listen to, I could listen to hours of ASMR of him speaking" I respond, hearing Carlos mumble intelligibly. "What did you think of color? I didn't want pink because I thought it was too obvious, and I love the combination of lilac and green"
"I like it, they are very pretty shades and you chose a good brand, they don't have a strong smell and they pigment well on the wall... I'm almost done here, where do you leave the tools to fix the tap?"
"Carlos, I was joking, don't worry about it, the plumber will come on Tuesday to fix it, I'm serious" I say, hoping he will forget this story. "Don't worry, it's serious!"
He puts the rest of the paint in the can and takes the paint roller to the laundry area. I even try to help, but Carlos forces me to sit down again when he returns from the laundry area. He himself collects the newspapers from the floor and opens the windows.
"I need a shower now, can I use your bathroom?"
"Obviously, feel free, I'll order a pizza for us" I say, following him to the living room, Carlos waves and gives a quick kiss and and go to my bathroom in the suite. I see how his jeans fit well on his hips, leaving the waistband of his underwear slightly visible and God only knows how that messes with my hormones. “Y/N, you fucking need to control yourself, he’s your best friend, stop acting like a needy bitch.
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"Are you Y/N? Finally! It's a pleasure to meet you, Carlos talked a lot, a lot about you!" Charles tells me, giving me a tight, loving hug. He is really very handsome and It's easy to understand why his fans are so obsessed with him, he's gorgeous. He has an adorable dimpled smile on his face and I feel shaken all of a sudden.
"He also spoke a lot about you, Charles, it's great to meet you too" I return the hug.
"I hope he said good things"
"I tell her the truth!" Carlos shouted from afar.
Soon we are surrounded by the team, who are extremely warm and kind to me, but I feel claustrophobic among so many people.
"Okay guys, give her space, please, you're making her suffocate" Carlos appears as a salvation and takes me out of the crowd, Charles follows us to the empty area of the garage. "Are you okay, cielo? Here, drink some water, it's too hot and you can't get dehydrated." He offers me a disposable cup of water and makes me sit down. "I have to talk to my mechanics now, but Charles can take you for a ride in the pitlane, if that's okay?"
"Of course, of course don't worry, you can go, we'll be fine"
"Well, take care of them, Charles"
"Relax, being with me is the same as being with God, relax cabrón"
"That's what scares me" Carlos says and kisses me quickly on the cheek, not caring what it does to me, not that he knows.
"Ready? I'm going to give you the best guided tour of the pitlane" Charles interlaces his arm in the middle and guides me through the pitlane, he is approached by a lot of people, always being extremely kind and attentive, he makes some jokes while introducing the places and some people.
"Y/N! Carlos didn't tell me you were coming!" Lando comes running towards us and hugs me too, we were already close to the Mercedes garage, one of the employees told us that Lewis was in a meeting, so I decided to wait
"It was a last minute decision, there was no way to warn you anyway" I say while Charles takes a chair from the Mercedes garage and makes me sit down.
"Why did you meet her before me?! I hear Sainz talking about her all day!"
"I live in London and I met her during his visit, so I tagged along! It's not my fault you don't live in London!" Lando retorts and I laugh at them.
"Sorry if I'm Monegasque! I didn't choose to be born in Monaco!" My laughter echoes around the room and they stop arguing, and then they laugh too, but the moment is interrupted by Lewis Fucking Hamilton. He's more impressive up close, damn it.
"It's good to finally meet Carlos' girl, you've been the talk of the paddock, he says and my cheeks burn and he hugs me too. The four of us talk for almost forty minutes, Lewis is exactly what I expected, polite, kind and attentive, he really has the aura, that aura that few people have and that made it clear why he is one of the greatest in the sport. He's really impressive.
"Let's go to the garage chérie, you need to get some rest, it's too hot for you to stay out here" Charles says as he guides me to the Ferrari garage, where Carlos is already waiting for us, Seeing him is like a cool breeze on a scorching day, he looks so good in red that wow, it hurts to remember he's leaving the Tifosi.
"How was it? Did you enjoy the ride? Did Charles treat you well?" He asks and sizes me up, but I nod dismissively and hear Charles click his tongue, offended.
"I'm fine, Charles was a perfect gentleman to me, and we met Lando on the way, it was amazing!" I say.
"That's great, cielo, let's go to my room, you need to rest, there was a lot of excitement today" He takes me to his private room and lets me rest on the bed there, I don't mind, my feet hurt so much and I wanted to get some sleep, Carlos sits on the edge and rubs my belly, he looks strange, like he's uncomfortable. "Are you okay? How is Cleo?"
"We're fine, she's great" I reply and feel her move and kick, Cleo is Carlos' biggest fan, apparently, she always moves when he speaks, loves the sound of his voice and kicks in the exact place where his hand is. She's going to be his biggest groupie, and there's no argument.
I watch him, feeling my heart beat like a fool, Carlos has been exactly what I hope he will be, a friend, a great companion, he is always in connection with me, I hate knowing that I'm falling in love with him again, that I'm entering that gray area again, putting our friendship at risk because of my stupid feelings, so I'm going to swallow whatever I feel because I'm not willing to be without my best friend again, I couldn't bear to lose him and I want him to be part of my daughter's life, of our life. So it's okay for me to stay in the friend zone if it keeps him around.
"What's bothering you, chilli? You look strange"
"I... I need to tell you something"
"Carlos, if you brought me to Budapest just to kick me out of your life, I swear to God I will run you over with your own car!" I exclaim, trying to pinch his muscular abdomen but failing, obviously.
"What? Of course not, it's nothing like that" he laughs nervously "It's something else... Well, I know this shouldn't happen, and I don't even know how to tell you this, but spending the last few months with you It's been the best thing in my life, I love spending any available time with you and Cleo, helping you with everything, this has left an impression on me and continues to leave a lasting impression on me, I'm so grateful for allowing me to be a part of this."
He stops, leaving tension in the air, making me anxious.
"What I want to say, cielo, is that my feelings have changed, I no longer feel like your friend, I'm just falling more in love with you every day, I tried to avoid it, because we are friends, but it was inevitable and when I realized it, I was already in love. I know it's not the best case scenario, and I broke your heart before, so it's okay with me if you don't reciprocate, but please, let me stay close to you, close to Cleo, I already love this little traveler, I love her so much and it hurts to imagine not being around—..."
I didn't even notice when I sat down on the bed, but I notice the exact moment my hand grabs the collar of his red t-shirt and I kiss him. As I imagined doing since I was sixteen. Carlos responds almost immediately, there is urgency, care and satisfaction in his kiss, all spiced up by the sweet taste of cinnamon. It's exactly how I always imagined it. It's sweet, strong and intense.
"If it's up to us, you'll be with us forever, cielo" I say and he breathes a sigh of relief, kissing me again while leaving his calloused hand on my belly.
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"I'm going back to London now, fuck it, my little girl is coming" he says on the cell phone, I hear the sound of him moving around the room, I breathe loudly when the contraction hurts and I want to cry, but I don't.
"No, no, you're saying goodbye to Ferrari, Cleo won't like knowing that her father is abandoning the race like that" I say in one breath. "We're fine, okay? Blanca is here with me and Reyes will be here soon, please stay calm, love and promise me you will win, for us"
Carlos whimpers and I stop holding him, bursting into tears, I wanted him with me there, but I would never forgive myself if he didn't race his last race with the Maranello team, and Cleo will understand in the future. I know it will.
"Cielo... This is fucking unfair" he kicks something and I sob "I wish I was there, you need me, both of you"
"Win the race, chilli, for us!" I scream because Blanca takes the phone away from me, because I enter the operating room.
-- ♡ --
Cleo is perfect, there is nothing Aaron about her, thank heavens and she is absurdly restless, she doesn't cry, but she doesn't sit still either. I'm absurdly in love with my little traveler, ga she is beautiful, healthy and was born at exactly the same time that Carlos won the race in Abu Dhabi, that didn't give him the championship, but it was extremely important for us, because the checkered flag waved when she cried.
"She's beautiful" Blanca is standing next to the stretcher, holding my daughter's little hand while Cleo breastfeeds, still with her eyes closed. The silence of the maternity corridor is broken by quick footsteps, the door to my room is opened with force and I see Carlos there, he still looks like a mess in his Ferrari overalls, messy hair and very, very tired.
He doesn't say anything, he just walks towards us and kisses my forehead for long seconds and looks at Cleo.
"I'll leave you alone" Blanca gives a suspicious smile and leaves the room.
"Lamento llegar tarde, pequeña estrella, pero gané la carrera por ti". He says in Spanish and I melt with so much love, Cleo seems to recognize his voice and calm down. "she is beautiful, too beautiful, I'm sorry for being late, mi amor"
"It's okay, chilli, you're here at the right time" I say, grateful to smell his expensive cologne, it feels like home and gives me so much comfort. "Thanks for coming."
"There's nowhere I want to be, cielo" he murmurs, carefully I make Cleo stop breastfeeding and cover her breast with the hospital gown. "are you really okay, cielo?"
"I'm, I'm fine actually... How did you get here so fast?"
"Fred left a jet ready for me, I just did the race, got the trophy and came here as soon as I could" he says, running his finger on Cleo's cheek. "She's so beautiful, her nose is identical to yours, happily."
"Do you want to hold her?"
He looks nervous, but accepts it. Carefully, Carlos places Cleo on his lap and walks around the room, talking softly to her, it's the most adorable scene in the world, my heart fills with love as I watch them.
"Cielo, will you marry me?" He says, still looking at the baby in his lap. "I want you close to me always, I want to take care of you, of Cleo. God, I love you both so much and I can't spend another day away from you"
"Are you serious?
"Damn it! I've never been so serious in my life"
"Yes, yes, yes! There is no one better for me, no better father for Cleo" I say in tears, and he comes over, sitting next to me on the hospital gurney. We both watch Cleo sleep in his arms, she looks comfortable and happy with him, just like me.
Months later.
"Let's go see daddy, sweetheart" I say, clearing the entrance to the paddock. It was Cleo's first race since she was born, Carlos had been looking forward to this race for weeks, but didn't want to travel with her so young, so I waited for the Silverstone circuit. I'm in the process of moving to Madrid, but it's happening gradually because of the racing, the 2025 season has been unusual, Williams is finally scoring well, Carlos is having a great season so far, so I thought it was only right that we came to support his race.
Cleo babbles happily, clapping her hands as the team members greet us and joke with Cleo, my little traveler laughs to everyone. She is Miss Congeniality herself, drawing attention wherever he goes. When we finally arrive at the garage, we are greeted by the sound of an engine being tested, the mess of Netflix with the team and Carlos aside, talking to Alex as if they were two old gossips, and when he sees us, he smiles so wide it shines like the sun.
"¡Mi estrellita!" He talks loudly as he comes towards us, Cleo claps her hands and laughs, making the cute baby sounds, getting the team's attention, I don't mind seeing my little girl be his focus first, this is part of what I idealize paradise to be. Cleo laughs as Carlos kisses and tickles her, so I go to greet the team, ask James what his predictions are for the day's race and talk to Alex.
"Where's Lily? I thought I'd have company during the race" I look around, trying to find her, but I hear Alex sigh.
"She's at a golf tournament in Asia, she won't be back until Thursday" he says sadly "She wanted to come, especially since it was Cleo's first race, but she couldn't miss it..."
"Oh, and will it be broadcast? I want to root for her" I say, the two of us spent a long time talking until Carlos came to us, they are both blushing and smiling, which makes my heart skip a beat.
"Hey cutie, I loved your blue jumpsuit it suits you so much" Alex holds out his hands to her and of course my daughter goes with open arms to him, Alex takes her for a walk and sees her cats, giving me and Carlos a little time together.
"Hey cielo, Thank you for coming, it's important to have you here" he says and kisses me, wrapping his arm around my waist, keeping me close."I like this dress, any special occasions?" He says, looking me from head to toe, I try not to blush under his malicious scrutiny.
"I thought we could have dinner today after the race"
"Oh, really? I think we can request a special babysitting service from Lando and Charles... And extend our dinner to the room, what do you think?"
"Excellent! We can make things better then" I suggest, playing with the zipper on his suit.
"And how do you intend to make things better, mi cielo?" He asks quietly, and suddenly everything around us disappears, leaving just the two of us there. The air becomes thicker and my breathing is heavy with anticipation.
"A bet, if you win the race, I'm in your hands, otherwise, you'll be under my yoke, what do you think?" I suggest softly, he laughs, running his tongue over his lips as he stares at me.
"I'm in, and I'm prepared mi amor, because I'm going to be at the highest place on the podium today" He assures me and kisses me, the team calls him to run, I find Alex and Cleo in the corner of the garage, both playing with one of his kittens.
"Come on baby, let's let Uncle Alex run" I pick Cleo up and she whimpers, wanting to keep playing with the puppy. "then we play with the kitten, love, I promise" I say to to comfort her, Alex promises to leave the kitten with Cleo later. The two drivers prepare for the race and I decide to watch from Carlos' room. Cleo is not used to the noise of the cars and I don't want it to become a nuisance for her.
The whole race is full of unforeseen events and surprises, no one is really expecting Williams to perform well, but Carlos and Alex are getting everything they can out of the car, putting pressure on Lewis and Lando in the first positions, the last laps literally become a game of musical chairs, the four exchange risky overtakes, the last lap is marked by an interesting exchange and Carlos takes first place, with Lewis in second and Alex in third. Cleo and I celebrated in the pilot room until we were taken to the garage, When Carlos arrives, he is euphoric and celebrates with the team, I love seeing his joy, how well he is with Williams. He comes to us and picks Cleo up, throwing her in the air and making her laugh. I'm taken by surprise when he kisses me, amidst applause and screams from the team.
"Thank you, thank you for everything, mi amor, I love you, I love our family"
"I love you, chilli, and I know Cleo does too" I respond, leaving my face close to his and kissing him again. I never thought that my life would have such a huge turnaround and that I would end up here, once again in love with my best friend and, on top of that, being reciprocated by him. I thank each and every entity that has guided me to this moment, I thank my incredible partner, my perfect family and our wonderful family.
I watch Carlos go get his trophy, he refuses to leave Cleo in the garage and she loves being in the middle of the mess.
And I love seeing them.
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moonyssmommyy · 1 year ago
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My Marauders Headcanons Pt. 9 ~ Regulus Arcturus Black
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Channel Remus' sad, weepy, loser boy energy, multiply it, make it EVEN more traumatized, and viola there you have it, Regulus Black
Insomniac
Will stay up til 5 am studying
The definition of a bookworm
Dead ass reads the encyclopedia for fun
Was not how most of the fandom portrays him
He was not weak
He did not cry every day for Sirius
Though he did quit the quidditch team after he left
He was morally grey
Would do anything to please his mother
Stayed by her side 24/7 after Sirius left
Was a momma's boy though Walburga never had as much affection for him as she did for Sirius
Not to say she didn't love her son
He more than overcompensated her for the loss of Sirius
He would have been the perfect heir if only he was born first
Or so his parents said
The only member of his family that Orion actually liked except for Walburga
Though over time his affections for her fizzled out and left Regulus the only member of The Noble House of Black that Orion actually liked
Spent quite a lot of time with his father as they were both quiet and loved to do the same things
Picky eater
Favors dark colors but doesn't exactly have a favorite
He can never choose between black, green, and purple
His favorite candy is dark chocolate
Calligraphy King
Astrology nerd from hell
Plays the piano and the violin
Music is his therapy
He has a very smooth, soft voice definitely not to be mistaken with feminine though
Their lineage is far more prominent in his voice than in Sirius'
Speaks multiple languages including Latin, French, and Russian
Loves poetry
He writes it too sometimes though he'll never tell anybody
Likes to write down things he deems important about those her cares about because he fears if he doesn't he'll forget them
Very close with Barty
Pandora is still his best friend though
They actually adopted Barty in their second year
Gossip partners with Dorcas
Eventually began to consider Evan more of a brother than Sirius
Easily flustered
He's extremely handsome in a pretty way unlike the rugged way Sirius is
Prefers baths to showers but he can't stand to sit in his own filth so he rinses off after
The poster child for Dark Academia
Much of his comfort comes from familiar scents
He has two smiles; the one that everyone sees and the one where all of his pearly white teeth shine though very few are lucky enough to see that one
He's very slim not to say he doesn't have muscle it's just very lean
Enjoys being enclosed as it makes him feel safe
Actually really hates when people call him Reggie
I have many more thoughts about Regulus so I'll probably make a part two sometime
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