#Individual Perspective

[omegaphilosophia]

The Philosophy of Subjectivism

Subjectivism is a philosophical viewpoint that posits that knowledge, values, and truth are dependent on individual perspectives, experiences, or feelings, rather than being independent or objective realities. In subjectivism, what is considered true, good, or meaningful can vary from person to person, as these are shaped by one’s personal beliefs, emotions, and perceptions.

Here’s a breakdown of the main aspects of subjectivism:

1. Epistemological Subjectivism

Personal Perspectives on Knowledge: In epistemology, subjectivism argues that knowledge is always influenced by the individual’s perception, experiences, and mental framework. According to this view, there is no universal or objective knowledge that exists independent of human thought.

Relativism in Knowledge: Subjectivist thinkers claim that truth is not absolute but relative to individuals or cultures. What one person considers true may not be true for another, and both views are valid within their respective contexts.

2. Moral Subjectivism

Ethical Relativism: In ethics, moral subjectivism maintains that moral judgments are based on personal feelings, preferences, or cultural norms. There is no objective standard of right and wrong that applies universally; instead, moral values are subjective and differ from person to person.

Relativistic Morality: For example, what one person sees as morally right (e.g., telling the truth) could be seen differently by someone else, depending on their personal or cultural beliefs. Subjectivism rejects the idea of absolute moral truths.

Emotivism: A related idea in ethical subjectivism is emotivism, which suggests that moral statements do not describe facts but express emotional responses. Saying “lying is wrong” reflects disapproval of lying, rather than an objective moral fact.

3. Aesthetic Subjectivism

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder: In aesthetics, subjectivism holds that judgments of beauty, art, and taste are entirely based on individual preferences and emotions. There is no objective standard of beauty; instead, each person’s judgment about art or beauty is valid according to their own perspective.

Personal Interpretation of Art: Subjectivism in aesthetics supports the view that the meaning of art is determined by how individuals interpret and experience it, rather than by the artist’s intentions or any external standard.

4. Metaphysical Subjectivism

Reality Dependent on the Mind: In metaphysics, subjectivism is the belief that reality, or at least our understanding of it, is shaped by the mind. Our mental processes, thoughts, and perceptions shape our experience of reality, meaning there is no mind-independent world that can be known directly.

Constructivism: In some versions of subjectivism, this leads to the idea that reality itself may be a construction of our consciousness or collective agreement. The world is not something we discover, but something we construct through interpretation.

5. Relativism and its Connection to Subjectivism

Cultural Relativism: While subjectivism focuses on individuals, cultural relativism is a related form of subjectivism that argues that knowledge, values, and ethics are shaped by cultural contexts. Different cultures have different standards of truth, beauty, and morality, and no one culture’s standards are objectively better or worse than another’s.

Criticism of Absolutism: Subjectivism and relativism often stand in contrast to objectivist or absolutist viewpoints, which hold that there are objective truths and values independent of individual or cultural perspectives.

Criticism of Subjectivism:

Moral Nihilism: Critics of moral subjectivism argue that it leads to moral nihilism, where nothing is truly good or bad. Without any objective standards, it becomes difficult to justify ethical judgments or condemn harmful actions.

Incoherence in Knowledge: Some argue that epistemological subjectivism is self-defeating. If all knowledge is subjective, then the statement “all knowledge is subjective” must also be subjective, and it cannot be universally true.

Difficulty in Communication: If all values, meanings, and truths are subjective, it can be challenging to find common ground in society. This undermines the possibility of shared understanding or objective discourse, especially in areas like ethics, law, or politics.

Subjectivism, while emphasizing personal perspective and the relativity of truth and values, faces challenges in maintaining coherence and offering stable grounds for moral and philosophical discussions.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

posted this forever ago as part of a bigger compilation BUT i think it deserves to stand on its own. i was gonna add more color BUT that didnt happen; thus it doesnt translate aswell that hes freezing the water around him. BUT now you aware and you can see it. you can see it

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[gxtzeizm]

the fact that me, as a fan of both lando and oscar without any bias (maybe a bit on lando but not that much), is going to witness both "oscar fans, lando antis" and "lando fans, oscar antis" posts all in my one dash 🥲🥲

also the fact that atp i couldn't even bother enough with this same situation on both lewis and george. now it happens on lando and oscar as well which got me like....

[hymnsofheresy]

Do you pray for the hostages too?

Yes. I pray for the 110 or so israeli and immgrant hostages assumed to still be alive. And I also pray for the hundreds of Palestianian hostages arrested without charge in Israeli prisons assumed to be alive.

I pray for a ceasefire so that the Israeli hostages are released. I also pray for the end of Israeli apartheid government, so that Palestianians are liberated.

[rattkachuk]

Hello! Hope you are having a good day.

So I have a question for you, just ignore when you don't feel like answering.

I came to Mattdrai via the enemies/rivals to lovers tag and then got sucked into hockey. I really like the fanon take on Leon, fav character, fanon Matthew was fine but way too woobified and infantilized in so many fics. So my surprise when I started to watch games, interviews etc. Public Matthew is so confident, so loving, awesome family to back him up, especially Brady, hot as hell, sexy way of playing hockey, amazing public persona. Loved and respected by his team, beyond hockey.

Then Leon. His only trait seems to be that he's pissy which I can appreciate but it seems that he's just a downright mean, arrogant guy with a superiority complex (see that interview when he puts Silovs down.) I don't find him stoic at all but he's just seems boring and bland and yeah, pissy. It doesn't seem like he has fun or likes his team a lot or is liked by them (Connor aside and his skills aside.) His friendship with Connor seems the only endearing or likeable thing. He even looks good in a bland way and his hockey is while it's so skillful it's not hot and also I wonder why his dirty plays aren't called out more often.

So what do I miss? Where does great fanon Leon come from? Why is he written mostly so superior to Matthew and where comes the "his team likes Leon so much but Matthew is an outcast in his own team come from?) It's so far from what I gather from old and new interviews or games and I have watched a lot, also German interviews. I really would like to like Leon, shipping them had been more fun when I didn't find his public self so jarring. What do I not see what everyone else seems to get?

Sorry for the long ask! Have a great day and thank you

first off thank you for such a thought out ask! i don't get to dive into things like this a lot outside of writing fic and it got my brain gears going.

to get right into the bulk of this ask: i get what you are saying about leon. that can be the way he comes off for sure, and look everything i'm gonna say? i'm talking out of my ass here. i don't claim to know anything about him as a person besides what's publicly presented, and i don't have much right to theorize about why he is the way that he is, but i'd be lying if i said i didn't think about it. how would i write rpf otherwise, right 💀

i think he cares a lot. and i think sometimes he gets so wrapped up in things, how things should be, how he should be performing, etc, and when it doesn't go a certain way he gets frustrated and snarky (eg, pissy comments and such). but i don't see that being bad necessarily, especially when it's seems to come from such a team oriented state of mind. which, i dont think he dislikes his team at all? i think if anything, he has a sort of blind faith in his team, and that's the only context i could see a 'superiority complex' making sense in. and yah maybe a little misplaced at times, but ultimately i think it comes from believing so fully in his team and not seeing that come to fruition. he really does not seem to care about his individual performance much at all, so how self obsessed can he be? when i think about leon i just see someone that is ultimately very passionate and committed to the game he plays. i'm also curious to know where you get the vibe that his team doesn't like him? simply because i never got that impression from any of the other oilers, they all seem like they're obsessed with him.

beyond hockey, i see a caring, sweet, kindhearted individual. anytime i see a picture or vid of him interacting with bowie, or even the things his girlfriend posts about him, the comments he leaves for people on ig, and yah of course in the way he talks/acts around connor, i see fragments of someone soooo different than the little two minute post game interviews (which, can we judge any hockey player on those? i think they all hate them dfkjgsd). it's not always something i actively go digging for or have examples of the top of my head, but i do see it, and it definitely goes into creating the version of leon that i have in my mind.

hey, and, he's a silly guy!!! please, i know the reputation is pissy and humourless, ESPECIALLY in fic, but that man is so funny. so many random offhanded comments that make me pause and then laugh. a different sense of humour but it's so there. i love the sandcastle vid from the asg last year and feel like it's a good example of that, all sunburnt and happy. also hey, big man in tune with his fear of the ocean? love that. that little vid of him dancing on the ice earlier this season, those halloween photos where he's dressed as a monkey, every time he talks to a kid. hell, seeing him in warmups and watching the way he takes time to interact fans?? loveee watching warmups but i'd never had a player actually acknowledge my existence before leon!

also i really enjoy his personality on the ice, i like the rat behaviour and the sassy comments that he makes to other players/refs, i like the bitch moves, and i like his hockey too. i think his game is dependable and like you said skillful, and while maybe not the most creative, the sureness and the technical aspect it is hot to me. so my thoughts on everything are probably skewed in that regard.

anyways this was just a whole lot of rambling about why i find him interesting, endearing even, but i understand the perception you have. i don't like some players that other people love, just cause i cant see what they see. and honestly that's sometimes just the way it is! if you don't like leon, maybe u just don't like him and thats fine.

disclaimer that i have only been on hockeyblr for a couple years, and really didn't spare many thoughts for leon til the beginning of the 22/23 season. truthfully i'm hardly the person to ask about leon imo, but of course i have thoughts anyways! if someone else with more knowledge reads my bit of rambling here, please feel free to chime in and add your voice to this!

and side note, ofc, i have to touch on this bc who would i be if i'm not one to talk about matthew; in the way of m.tkachuk, i think that in the early days of mattdrai it was maybe a fair take away during his time with the flames (minus the woobifying). even though he was loved so much here and had some fucking times, and i think the team was mostly good to him (player wise if not regarding management, that is), i see such a stark difference now that he's on the panthers. he seems much happier and more confident, and obviously he's clicking with the cats on another level, and i do see a shift in how he's been portrayed in fics since tbh.

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

my last order to you as a diamond

“no one can ever find out we did this. i never want to look back. so, for my last order to you as a diamond, please, let’s never speak of this again. no one can know.” — pink diamond, a single pale rose

“pink diamond is so sure that she's powerless, but she's actually profoundly powerful, so much so that she devastates people's lives without understanding it because she thinks she has no real power or sway.” —rebecca sugar, end of an era

even if you understand rose, pink can still be difficult to understand. she faces unimaginable punishments if she doesn’t follow the twisted rules of homeworld. but there’s hidden details that reveal her genuine self. the pebbles, the gems who are considered the most inferior, know her as the one gem who would thank them. she’s so excited when she can play with other gems like equals and she’s not getting “that dumb salute.” white gives pink a colony just to prove that she will fail, but the moment pink discovers the harm that her colony is doing to life on earth, she immediately wants to stop her colony and fight to protect them.

much like steven in gem glow when he finds out he has a shield, pink can’t be aware of her powers, she can’t understand them, until she sees them in action.

and rose… never sees the power behind her orders as a diamond in action.

pink’s intentions when she gave the order

—> context: pink is escaping to begin a life with the person she’s falling in love with, so they can be their true selves, be free of homeworld’s rules (one of the main ones is giving orders & following them), & continue their rebellion.

—> “no one can ever find out we did this”: i see this as reassurance-seeking, as she would be incredibly scared in this situation. the other diamonds make her feel as if they wouldn’t care if she’s shattered. however, if she’s caught faking it, the punishment is unimaginable. white threatened to “take her pearl away” whenever pink disappointed her, so she was always scared for pearl, too. while pearl is the first person who has made rose feel completely loved & safe, reassurance is needed regardless. pausing to remind pearl not to tell anyone is actually expected given pink’s trauma & the situation.

—> “i never want to look back”: they love everything about each other as individuals & they particularly love all the things they weren’t allowed to be on homeworld. rose fell for pearl’s boldness, how fiercely opinionated she is; pearl fell in love with rose’s softness, the way that she thinks all life is precious. rose is expressing that she wants to truly move on from this old world so that they can embrace being who they truly are—and having the dynamic that they want, one that reflects how they feel about each other.

—> “my last order”: we know that she has a tendency to speak very passionately with symbolism during emotional moments (i.e., tape in lion 3). pink states that it’s officially her last order, symbolizing the end of their old lives that they both despised. she hated giving orders as much as she hated the salute. it’s also an official promise that she will never give orders ever again. partially because she sympathizes with pearl’s particular homeworld trauma, partially because of her tendency to blame herself for things. and really, it’s simply a relief for both of them.

rose’s guilt

after giving pearl the order, pink looks at pearl with so much care, respect, and admiration in her eyes. she’s so grateful… and so oblivious. she simply feels reassured after the person she trusts the most promises to keep the secret. besides, it doesn’t feel like too much to ask because she knows that pearl doesn’t want to tell anyone. that would put them both in danger.

at the same time, her eyes look sad. even without knowing the impact of her order, she feels guilty that pearl is keeping so many of her secrets. it’s related to lots of other issues that they have, such as pearl being self sacrificing during the war. pearl’s the only one who truly knows exactly what she needs protection from and how much danger she would be in if she poofed. rose also feels lots of self hatred & pain & she can never hide this from pearl the way she hides it from others, because pearl knows so much, including traumas. she knew her when she was very naive, belittled, vulnerable, facing ongoing abuse. rose fears that she is causing pearl distress due to the mere fact that she is the only one who knows all these distressing things about her.

with that sort of guilt, it would just be out of character for pink to give this order if she knew of the power behind it.

steven

pearl never tried to tell anyone the secret until the diamonds put steven in danger. she never needed to tell anyone. the diamonds were never a threat for the thousands of years that she was with rose. this also says a lot about the reasons behind rose’s death. people who hate rose often say that she died to “leave steven with her problems,” but the topic of the diamonds never even needed to come up for thousands of years.

pearl seems surprised when she realizes she physically can’t say anything. still, she seems to find a way rather quickly when she knows for sure that she needs to tell him. pearl is an intelligent & strong-willed character; these traits get overlooked because she’s emotional and passionate about her sincere, intense love. even the day of, she tries to verbally tell him, proving just how unknown this power was.

things changed throughout the years

pearl grows in many ways while rose is alive, and this growth starts as early as the now we’re only falling apart timeline. early on in the relationship, pearl fought with rose when she didn’t agree with her.

around the same timeframe as the final order, pearl stands her ground when rose tells her that she doesn’t have to stay and fight with her. she argues, “but i want to!” and rose refers to her as my pearl. as individuals and as a relationship they attract gems who also want to rebel against homeworld’s society. this reenactment of one of their biggest arguments ever shows pearl disagreeing with her, expressing why she feels differently, and she even shouts at one point.

also, notice how most of the issues in their relationship happen when they’re fresh out of homeworld. they make progress then, and in we need to talk pearl is very sure of herself and loves showing off how much rose feels for her. rose notices this growth and it’s reassuring for her. issues come up before rose dies & losing rose definitely brought up old wounds. but they seemed to have little to no issues in the thousands of years between the war and the 90s. pearl hated being bossed around, this was comforting for rose… and it made it hard for her to ever imagine the impact that order had on her.

the end + a note about pearl

“her impulse control is pretty poor. she doesn't really think about when another person, you know, when she's putting another person in danger.” —rebecca sugar, the art of steven universe

“rose wanted to give everybody the kind of environment she didn’t have, but everything about her is about who she didn’t want to be.” —rebecca sugar says goodbye to steven universe

besides everything that the creators mentioned, johnston stated that the power behind her orders only apply to her assigned pearl on homeworld. also, stating something without being pink diamond & saying it’s an order will not have this effect (so, on a positive note, it’s important to remember that pearl’s love for rose and everything she does on earth are not orders she’s following. this is the only time they’ve had this issue). in now we’re only falling apart, pearl was portrayed as being very good at her job, working diligently and doing everything she was expected to do up until the rebellion when she had the opportunity to be who she wanted to be. and rose was herself too. given how complicated this is, it was difficult for rose to figure out the power behind these orders.

anyway, considering the intentions she has when she starts her life on earth, rose’s flaws as she gives this order would never be: wanting power over pearl, manipulation, and quite literally using their original and forced homeworld dynamic to get what she wants.

(i also don’t think pearl would love her so much if this was the case. she fell in love with rose for opposite traits such as her soft heart & how she felt about all life + the world.)

instead, the flaws are: obliviousness, naivety, & maybe even impulsiveness because that’s an ongoing flaw that rose has throughout the series. she often says and does things quickly and without too much thought, especially in difficult situations and when she feels strongly about something. due to that constant fight-or-flight she’s used to being in, she doesn’t think things through and has trouble moving at a slower pace, thinking before speaking & acting, reflecting.

but even then, she wouldn’t say this, even impulsively, if she knew the truth. it’s ironic and unfair to both of them, as the order silencing pearl symbolizes everything that pearl + rose were rebelling against. but it’s clear that rose didn’t know the effect of it. this is a negative aspect of their relationship, yes, but the intentions behind it definitely change how the relationship looks as a whole. it’s sad, but it’s not malicious.

i think pearl is the strongest character in the show. time and time again, she shows that she is her own person with unique strengths, makes progress even following setbacks due to trauma, and she proves everyone on homeworld (who think pearls are things, with irrelevant feelings who can’t fight and are made to serve) wrong. she is outspoken, courageous, smart. she hated serving but she has a selfless & caring personality, so instead she becomes this incredible (and sometimes intimidating) sword fighter who protects the one she loves—so strongly that many misunderstand it. and here’s the thing: as much as rose would feel terrible if she knew about all of this, pearl's ability to defy an order that contained powers she had no idea existed is one of the many reasons rose would be proud of her if she could see her.

[good-to-drive]

Abuse, Silence, And Why Kevin Can Fuck Himself

I recently finished watching Kevin Can Fuck Himself on Netflix, and, aside from being the most brutally honest portrayal of domestic abuse I have ever seen, I discovered a beautifully written examination of narrative as power and silence as abuse and how this manifests in our larger culture. 

Without going into too much detail, the show is filmed in two distinct styles that are interleaved throughout each episode to tell a cohesive story. Allison and Kevin’s relationship as seen by the rest of the world is told through a multi-cam, laugh-track sitcom that depicts a very typical “goofy husband, shrewish wife” mainstream comedy. Allison’s life through her own eyes is told through a single-cam drama/thriller about Allison planning to murder Kevin to escape his abuse. 

It’s an absolute masterclass in screenwriting, but more than that, every episode explores the difference between truth, fact, and reality, and how none of these things are quite as much or as little as story. But while the process of transforming the chaotic and plotless reality of life into a story is as involuntary and essential as breathing, misogyny and the degradation of women is just as ubiquitous in our society, and a story that exists at the expense of another person’s lived reality is a refutation of their humanity. 

It's also just a great show for anyone who likes to engage with history (or reality TV or true crime or “real life stories” in general), because while we have to tell ourselves stories about her own lives, we have to tell ourselves stories about other people as well. Eternal silence is narrative death, and the perpetual silence of an unspoken narrative is often the last death we can visit on someone whose story we’d rather ignore. 

I also pulled up some books – Lolita and Disgrace – that dealt with similar themes, but from the perspective of the abuser. And what strikes me the most is that, across three beautifully written stories about narrative and silence within a culture that normalizes abuse, Allison, who began her story within a state of narrative death, was the only point-of-view character who had any chance of surviving. 

One of the main themes of Kevin is that a compelling story is often a story that reinforces what we already believe or like to believe, and while the story may be factual and true it often also exists at the expense of someone's lived reality. The exact same series of events can be a silly joke or a harrowing tale of abuse depending on the lens through which we view it, but historically we've only been willing to see the multicam, laugh track, sitcom perspective on unbalanced relationships.

The alchemical process of turning a series of disjoint facts and experiences into a narrative creates something new and compelling, and erases much of what previously existed. In this way, it’s entirely irreversible. We spin our experiences into a very thin thread, a story we can tell ourselves that elicits something within us, something we need in order to live with the complex, uncertain, and unsatisfying reality of life. In think in many ways the thing we elicit in ourselves is truth. But truth is both more and less than fact, often more a reflection of our own beliefs and desires than the events of our lives. And in telling that truth we may never stray from the facts, but we almost by definition cannot give voice to another person’s reality.

There's a scene in season 2 of Kevin when Allison is hit by a door – a la the classic excuse – because of Kevin’s carelessness. And while he absolutely did not hit her, the way it's written is such an incredible allegory for how Kevin has curated their story and curated their friends' and family’s perceptions of their story such that even if she tells everyone the exact, unvarnished truth of what's happening to her and begs for help, they will only be capable of seeing the laugh-track, sitcom, “Kevin is a harmless goofball and his wife is a total shrew” perspective on the events of their lives. 

As so often happens with abuse, their friends and family saw Allison being hurt because of Kevin. But the alchemy of creating a narrative around Kevin and Allison is irreversible, and the series of events they witness can only be spun together to a joke, an accident, a silly, childish mistake. Allison’s reality, Allison’s pain and fear, is completely elided. Like a lost sound in the middle of a sentence, her experience goes silent, and their larger understanding of her relationship never has to change. And you feel so acutely how Allison lives her entire life in that silence. 

Storytelling is human, it’s essential, there’s no other way to engage with our own lives. And it’s not lying. It’s never lying to tell the truth. But it doesn’t reflect every reality, either, because another person’s reality can’t be reflected within our own narrative, because that’s what it means to be another person. To spin two different threads.

And because narrative is the essential process by which we understand our reality, denying someone their own narrative, or denying that this narrative be heard, is inherently abusive. To allow someone a voice is to give them humanity, and to suppress it is to strip that humanity away. 

Disgrace, by J.M. Coetzee, follows the story of a professor, David, who rapes a student and then fails to protect his daughter, Lucy, from being raped by intruders in their home. He destroys his daughter’s life  – not through failing to protect her, but through twisting her rape into a story about why the rape of his student wasn’t wrong. The main theme of the book is generally considered to be exploitation, but Coetzee doesn’t deal with the exploitation of the rape. That’s too direct, too immediate, too easy for the reader to understand as misogynistic and wrong. Rather, Coetzee delves into “the innocuous-seeming use of another person to fill one's gentler emotional needs” (Ruden).

The rape is how we understand David as a fundamentally exploitative person, a person who denies others their humanity by converting them into a vessel for his own desires, who erases their voice in order to speak through them and give himself the things he needs. And that’s how we recognize that the way he absorbs and claims the stories of his daughter and his student is another kind of violation of their humanity. Another way of turning women into vessels for men’s pain and fear and need. 

What’s fascinating is that David's student finds her voice – files a complaint against him – and is eventually able to continue with her life. The woman he raped is less damaged by him than his own daughter, because she was the woman he couldn’t permanently silence. 

In Lolita, another brilliant novel about abuse, dehumanization, and storytelling, Humbert turns to the reader at the end and says, “Imagine us, reader, for we don’t really exist if you don’t.” 

It’s not that Humbert knew he was fictional, but that he knew everyone was fictional. Believed the entire world only truly existed in his own mind, because anything beyond that was irrelevant to his needs. He coped with the collapse of his ability to dehumanize Dolores (who he called Lolita) by demanding that his voice be resurrected. Demanding immortality. Demanding his narrative exist in another person’s world, and thereby be given the existence and humanity that Allison and Dolores and Lucy and David’s student were denied. 

Pushing his needs, finally, onto the reader, because we are the only person he has left, and a person like him can only exist through the use of another. In that way, Humbert was powerless. In that way, Kevin and David were powerless, too.

In Disgrace, David’s dream is to write an opera, and at the end of the book he realizes he’ll never finish his magnum opus. He’ll never be able to terminate the process of converting himself, his world, into a story. But he does learn to decenter himself in that narrative. And it’s when he loses all fear of death, and any conception of the self, that he gains the ability to give dogs – who he generally equates to women – a voice within his opera, his life’s work. 

It’s in death that we discover our true unimportance as human beings, that we learn to let go of vanity and our conception of the self entirely. And David had degraded women so thoroughly in order to justify how he used them to meet his own emotional needs that it was only in losing all value for his own life that he could gain the ability to see them as equal voices. To actually put those voices into his own life story. It's at the cost of himself that he allows other people to truly exist, in the death of the self that he finally allows the world to exist outside of himself. It’s almost a positive character arc. Almost.

When Kevin finally loses the ability to abuse Allison, he, like many abusers, loses all desire to live. His world was built on a structure of superiority and inferiority, on beings and vessels, on the inherent value of men and the inherent meaninglessness of women’s lives. The system on which he based his entire reality has been destroyed by Allison’s declaration of the self. And, if he was a being because she was a vessel, then in losing the ability to treat her as a vessel, to fully and completely dehumanize her, he has lost his own humanity. 

It may be perfectly summed up here: “Become major. Live like a hero. That's what the classics teach us. Be a main character. Otherwise, what is life for?” (Coetzee).

If you’re not to be a main character, if there indeed is no split between major and minor characters, between people and the paper dolls that populate their story, between living beings and the vessels into which they pour their need – what is life for?

Nothing. At least, not for people whose narrative must exist at the expense of another. 

And that’s why I say that only a narrator like Allison could survive this kind of story. Despite beginning her story trapped in eternal silence, her reality fully elided no matter how immediate and obvious it became, Allison was the only point-of-view character of any of these three stories who didn’t establish her power through the degradation of another. Who didn’t conceptualize the world via being and vessels. Whose narrative didn’t exist, by necessity, at the expense of another person’s humanity. Whose thread could exist in a larger tapestry without destroying her sense of self.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s not generally a likable character. She’s misogynistic, cruel, selfish, jealous, desperate, afraid, and in pain. Like anyone in an abusive relationship, she’s not at her best, and she’s often pushed to do things that are ugly and disturbing because she’s simply been pushed too far. 

But, for me, the power in her character is in how her last scene never felt like a final scene. Her story didn’t have to be killed, her conception of the self didn’t have to be killed, in order to reveal the brutal reality of stories twisting and intertwining without any inherently superior truth or narrative among them. Allison’s story was one of declaring herself. And that’s why it didn’t feel like it ended at the end. Instead, this felt like a beginning.

[pratchettquotes]

"The thing is...I mean, there's times when you look at the universe and you think, 'What about me?' and you can just hear the universe replying, 'Well, what about you?'"

Unity appeared to consider this.

"Well, what about you?" she said.

Susan sighed. "Exactly." She sighed again. "You can't think about just one person while you're saving the world. You have to be a cold, calculating bastard."

"That sounded as if you were quoting somebody," said Unity. "Who said that?"

"Some total idiot," said Susan.

Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

[gayofthefae]

Me? Oh, nothing. Just thinking about how when Will breaks eye contact sadly after Mike and Will's interaction Mike doesn't look away.

[mojoflower]

Tumblr v. Twitter

I was laughing to Mr. Mojo about the whole Goncharov thing we've collectively been manifesting this weekend, and he pointed out what is possibly the most meaningful and fundamental difference between Tumblr and Twitter.

He said, On Twitter, no one says 'we'.

Tumblr is a mutable organism that is greater than the sum of its parts.  We are a ‘we’.

[veen-da-bean]

more haunted mansion drawings!! This time with the mummy

[artheresy]

Okay listen, playing the Continuance and words cannot describe the effects Ruan Mei has on me. This isn’t like a “Omg her design and voice 😍” kind of thing, this is an “Oh my god HER WRITING?? HER IDEOLOGY?? IM NEVER RECOVERING” kind of thing

The way that HSR handles its divinity of the Aeons, not only has them stretch out across the universe causing multiple factions to pop up in relation to said Aeons with all kinds of outlooks and perspectives about them based upon their paths, their actions and their “blessings”, but also down to individual characters perspectives and relationships regarding individual Aeons and just the concept of Aeonhood in general is AAAHHJJ ITS SO GOOD

I need more Ruan Mei, I need to see more of her desire to create an Emanator and become an Aeon herself. I need that explored so much more I want to know so much more

Her treatment of her creations and outlook regarding her own research is something so interesting to me that I literally can’t put into words. Like the conflicting nature of her feelings regarding them and how they align with her objectives and looking at her research alongside her general demeanor is so????

I need more of her in my life, I need more characters who question the nature of Aeons for whatever reason at all like I love

[qilingxiong]

still thinking about how li lianhua expected to exit the world as a ghost on the wind, because that's all anyone ever viewed him as when fitted over the memory of li xiangyi. but fang duobing never knew li xiangyi, never forced li lianhua to be him, and witnessed him and his current life and took him as he was now, not who he thought he should be. and so by virtue of seeing li lianhua like that, fang duobing ensured that li lianhua still left the world as a person in someone's eyes and not a mirage

[illym]

Reading the Robo-Ky side story from Ky's perspective makes it into an absurdist comedy

IDs in alts.

[da-xiao-jie]

haven't posted about cdramas in a bit, but I've been burning through The Legend of Shen Li this week and while I've been enjoying the slower pace while plot threads gather in the background, the romantic aspect, the not so subtle discussion of fate and responsibility, etc. something popped up around EP 33ish and now I have to rant about it.

(Spoiler warning)

The biggest obstacle to Shen Li and Xing Zhi is the fact that He's a divine Immortal and as the last one left, he has a responsibility to protect the three realms without using his powers for selfish purposes.

At the same time, Xing Zhi is lonely and bored and utterly isolated by being the last of his kind so he's definitely a sympathetic character.

Right up until, having saved Shen Li and nursed her back to health, finally returning to the heavenly realm, Xing Zhi brings her to his realm and proceeds to basically imprison Shen Li there where she won't get hurt

and. like.

this is what gets me. the whole show builds up to this. Shen Li is engaged to someone else, but after leaving the human realm, she acknowledges her duty and tries to convince herself to focus on what her role ought to be. Xing Zhi on the other hand can't help but tease and fluster Shen Li, keeping her emotions entangled with him and keeping her from her duty. She calls him out on this and he tries to course correct several times only to fall back into bad habits again later.

at the end of the day, Xing Zhi's love for Shen Li is selfish. he's lonely and bored and here comes this captivating woman who loves him! but when she matures a little and sees that she can't be with him for the sake of the world, she tries to back away and stay focused on her duty, to her realm, her soldiers, etc. And! without! fail! Xing Zhi drags her back. until finally, having recovered from torture and regaining her powers, she's determined to return to her realm and resume her responsibilities and see her people after being presumed dead and what does he do? he traps her. against her principles. why? to keep her forever for himself.

the most telling and frustrating thing is a conversation where Shen Li says, "this relationship isn't the sole reason for my existence." talking about how she loves him, wants to be with him, but also needs to be with and protect her people. to which Xing Zhi replies, "Not the sole reason, but a reason for your existence." So the audience is relieved for all of 10 seconds before, in response to Shen Li claiming that she is not his pet bird that he can't keep her in a cage, Xing Zhi proceeds to cage her.

I just—

I would root for them much more if there was some sense of duty on his part instead of him continually pulling her away from hers. Like, yeah it's unfair, we get that. However love is not selfish. It needs to be selfless or it just becomes possessive obsession.

i haven't finished yet. Still have 5-6 episodes to go, but I needed to rant for a sec

might post again about this one, but who knows?