#Increased Relaxation

[bluebuddhacanada]

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[serpentface]

What's the Wardi cultural take on Akoshos sleeping with/partnering with/marrying other Akoshos?

It's not highly regulated to a degree that there are overwhelming cultural norms about it. There's a lot of societal focus on akoshos being theoretically suitable sexual partners for both men and women due to being dual-gendered, but not to an extent that relationships with One Another are stigmatized.

They also largely get to escape from the most severe concerns about penetrator/penetrated power dynamics because they're not regarded as Men (they're regarded as dual-gendered, and they're a female social class on every practical level), there's no status of manhood to Lose by receiving sexual penetration. The only real thing you see in that department is people assuming that one acts as 'the man' and one acts as 'the woman', but this is largely due to preoccupation with a notion of sex being Penetration With A Penis (and that Penetration With A Penis means that one person is in a Man's Role and one person is in a Woman's Role). But this will not be regarded as unnatural as in same-gender male relations, akoshos will Have to take up a position in this sexual dichotomy if they want to have Real Sex (Penetration With A Penis) with each other, and this is not unnatural and doesn't involve gaining or losing status since they are simultaneously male and female, not men.

So like you might see individual culture critics finding stuff to nitpick about it as their annoyance of the week or a singular Guy here or there who thinks it's weird, but this isn't a widespread norm. The vast majority of people don't give a shit about akoshos having sex with each other. The worst thing you're likely to experience Solely by virtue of being in an akoshos-akoshos relationship is someone asking you (probably with genuine curiosity) which one does the man stuff and which one does the woman stuff.

Akoshos also don't experience Hard expectations for marriage (though there are societal pressures that make marriage an attractive safety net all the same, ESPECIALLY marriage to a man) so unofficial life-partnerships between akoshos are pretty much the Only same gender partnerships between unwed people that are going to go unquestioned. ((Sworn brotherhood is technically a same gender life partnership for men that is Functionally similar to marriage (in that it's a kin-making practice between unrelated adults), but the tradition is Built upon the assumption that both parties will be married to women and that a primary goal of this kinship is to provide security for both parties' wives and children)). Marriage obligations in general are more lax in the economically secure but not Wealthy lower mercantile classes (as obligations to support and perpetuate one's family are universal, but these obligations can be filled simply by having at least One son who can get hitched, and marriages in the lower classes have no political functions and therefore there's less reason to ensure All your children are wed (there's still incentives like dowry, but this is not desperately needed when a family is economically secure)). So akoshos in this class group tend to have a Lot more freedom in terms of their life arrangements and chosen partners (though still experience the limiting frameworks of structural misogyny in other capacities).

The only thing that is out of the picture is akoshos/akoshos marriage. Marriage in this society has a predominantly reproductive function, the concept of reproductively non-viable marriages is generally considered absurd. This is not JUST this culture's form of homophobia, as marriage is a very practical arrangement at its core - both in a reproductive capacity and as bedrock for the patriarchal blood-kinship family system that forms the core social unit. The idea of same gender marriage isn't just absurd because 'ewwww weird' it's like, that Cannot work within this system, it Cannot fill core functions of what a marriage intends to do here, the ways on which marriage and kinship are BUILT makes same gender marriage practically (rather than just socially) untenable.

The sole exception to the 'marriage = reproductively viable" rule is that akoshos can be married to men (which in practice is almost always as a remarriage after a man has secured At Least an heir). This has a Little bit of internal logic here in that they perform predominantly female social roles (thus are suited to being a wife, even if they can't bear children) (and also on practical levels of them having the same legal status as women) but it's really more of a 'this is just how it's always been' kind of thing. A lot of the older pre-Wardi identity dual-gender roles that got mashed together under the 'akoshos' name would have involved marriage to a man as a second wife/concubine, in addition to his primary wife who would bear his children. Men potentially having multiple spouses has not been retained as a cultural practice, but the notion that an akoshos Can be a wife to a man has survived into modern day legal and doctrinal practices around marriage.

So like this being said, marriage as it is legally defined is only between a man and a woman, a man and an akoshos, or a woman and an akoshos. In practice the latter two are comparatively VERY rare- a man/akoshos marriage cannot provide children (though an akoshos can practically fulfill all other obligations and duties of a wife), a woman/akoshos marriage Can provide children (and while akoshos cannot function as a male heir, these children Will take their akoshos-parent's family name (though the wife retains her father's family name)), but akoshos are legally grouped with women in terms of rights and privileges (including being permanently under legal domain of their father unless they have been legally handed off to a male husband) and Cannot provide hard power patriarchal support that this family system is built upon and therefore depends upon, which makes these marriages socio-economically insecure. They can obviously still be a good partner and parent, but this is not the same as having the Legal hard power of a patriarch.

Akoshos marrying each other would be reproductively and socially nonviable, and is treated as a similarly absurd concept to a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman. It's just not a part of the marriage and kinship framework, it's not a thing that you can Do.

[topaz-mutiny]

I was on the edge of my seat chewing the scenery and errant soda cans.

Damn that roleplay was SO GOOD. More of that please!

[spurgie-cousin]

the friend who made that cute ofrenda is one of the few people who i can yap about fundie shit with, but she wasn't familiar with the Bates. so I gave her a rundown and her first question was honestly something I've thought about before lol:

[playingplayer2]

X/Twitter link

[mercymaker]

i know i've been yapping about the long fic for literal months at this point BUT!!! i am writing it!

it ain't much but it's honest work

[s0fter-sin]

is there an actual medical reason why my body just doesn’t respond to medication and if there is please tell me it can be fixed bc this some bullshit

[storywestistrash]

STORY.

Make an appointment with a doctor !!!! Take ur health and well-being seriously and give urself the compassion you’d give another person. unless polish doctors are all (100% of them)(zero exceptions) seeking to harm you via witchcraft .. if that is the case…. I don’t know. That’s scary. (Old man Manga panel meme) (can’t send images)

Anyways.

As a guy w some experience being a patient.. esp for mental health / chronic pains … there be some bitch ass doctors in the world. It sucks. But it’s never a good idea to ignore ur body and brain !!! It does not do good things man.

Finally, DONT BE FRANK CASTLE ABOUT IT. SUFFERING ISNT NOBLE. YOUR WIFE AINT EVEN DEAD !!! TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF OR I WILL DO IT FOR YOU . SOMEHOW .

-cab <3

augh thank you cab........... that is very good solid advice but unfortunately i am a massive hypocrite............

and also ive just been told by doctors that im 'prone to extreme stress reactions' or whatevss. any discomfort goes away the second i do anything requiring more focus than staring at a wall so its clearly just uhhh. psychosomatic they call it i think

i probably strained a muscle and gave myself a heart attack over it 👍 big dummy

[anaalnathrakhs]

people won't fucking FORGET me i can't handle this anymore there's always a friend who wants to go someplace a friend who needs someone to go to the store with a friend who hasn't seen me in a while who wants to hangout, and i can't let those friendships decay i just can't i can't be this kind of asshole again, but it feels so shit it feels like i can't fucking relax cuz there's always something tomorrow something next week and something to do at school between classes and holy SHIT leave me ALONE please fucking stop talking to me i just want to relax and do things i enjoy.

[mmriesoftvat]

i said this over discord, but i'll say it here.

kami 1000% keeps a personal journal to document his life and the things he's doing in sumeru. he finds it therapeutic to jot down all this thoughts, and knowing he doesn't have to recite them again for nahida. he finds comfort in writing, as well as reading.

[potofbees]

its crazy when u enjoy a game a whole lot and in an isolated tumblr community they all do too and then u go to like youtube, reddit, twitter etc. communities and theyre all complaining about it. like huh.

played thru the subnautica games again and ive always loved below zero more and yet i notice more and more that half the comments on subnautica videos and posts r like 'god i wish below zero was so much better. shame!' and then all the points they have against it are why i actually liked it more . what are u all talking about

[1ncandescentrage]

Amazing what I can get done when on proper dosage of meds.

[plzu]

god i miss consistently working out. i felt so much better when i was doing it. but now i'm too overwhelmed with work and my brain is So Bad that i cant force myself to fit it back into my life lol :')

[saucepanguy]

the pipes will be like hey have you heard of noises? well i am about to make all of them

[scaredofmyocs]

I love it when i accidentally stay up on the night im supposed to be catching up on sleep it totallly doesnt make me feel horrible all week long

[coffeeworldsasaki]

I should have written a list of what I'm supposed to do when my eyes are bad rip