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fafnir19 · 1 year ago

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The Bargain

I noticed Maya's agitation for the past few days. She seemed distant, lost in her own thoughts. Concerned, I finally mustered the courage to ask her what was wrong. "Maya, what's been bothering you lately?" I asked, my voice filled with genuine concern. She sighed deeply, gazing down at her hands.

"Tristan, I made a foolish mistake," she confessed, her voice trembling. "I... I summoned a demon to help me pass my exam." My heart skipped a beat. Summoning a demon? That was risky business. "Did it work?" I asked cautiously. She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "Yes, I passed the exam, but now... now it's time to pay the price." My heart sank, a mixture of sadness and fear flooding my emotions. "What... what's the price?" I stammered, fearing the worst. Maya shook her head, avoiding my gaze. "I... I don't want to talk about it."

Determined to help her, I searched through Maya's belongings and found the summoning materials she used. With trembling hands, I summoned the demon she had called upon, Incedis. A swirl of dark energy appeared before me, materializing into the form of a demon. Incredibly muscular, with fiery red skin and horns that curled elegantly above his head, Incedis gazed at me with piercing crimson eyes. "What do you want, mortal?" he bellowed, his voice booming and menacing. "Please," I pleaded, my voice shaky yet resolute. Summoning all my courage, I looked Incedis in the eye and said, "I'm willing to serve you for a week in the underworld if you release Maya from her debt." The demon laughed, his voice filling the room. "A week? Very well, Tristan. Your sacrifice amuses me. We have a deal." Excitement and trepidation coursed through me as I shared the news with Maya. Maya stared at me, her eyes filled with disbelief. "You did what? You're going to serve in the underworld for a week?" I nodded, determined to show Maya that I would do anything for her. "Yes, I made a deal with Incedis. He agreed to release you from your debt." Maya sighed, a mixture of frustration and affection evident in her voice. "Tristan, I appreciate you trying to help, but my debt was merely my favorite handbag. I never wanted you to go through this."

Days passed, and the agreed-upon time arrived. A magical portal opened before me, and without hesitation, I stepped into the unknown. As I emerged in the underworld, I couldn't help but notice a strange sensation. I felt stronger, more agile than ever before. Then I saw them—horns protruding from my forehead.

Incedis appeared beside me, his menacing aura unyielding. "Well, well, Tristan," Incedis purred, his eyes flickering with amusement. "You look even more tempting with those horns." He ran a finger along one of the spiraling horns that had grown atop my head, sending an unexpected jolt of arousal through my body. Startled, I took a step back, my face flushing. "What... what was that?" Incedis chuckled darkly. "Seems like the underworld has bestowed you with a few gifts, Tristan." He winked impishly before leading me off to my first task. As the days passed in the underworld, I found myself assisting lost souls in their journey to their interrogation rooms. It was a somber task, but the work itself was relatively straightforward. However, on the second day, my duty took a seductive turn. I was restrained in a chair and shown films of powerful men while Incedis stood behind me, caressing my horns. The sensation sent waves of pleasure coursing through me, building towards an explosive climax. But just as I was on the brink, Incedis would remove his hand, leaving me panting and unsatisfied. This ritual continued on the third day, leaving me both frustrated and bewildered.

But on the fourth day, everything took an unexpected turn. While standing at the gate, a handsome CEO of a large corporation entered, catching my eye. As my body responded with a familiar stir of arousal, Incedis noticed and smirked. "No need to return to the room from the previous days this afternoon," Incedis hissed, his voice dripping with wicked delight. "Congratulations, Tristan. You're officially gay." My mind spun in a whirlwind of confusion and betrayal. But amidst the storm of emotions, one thing remained clear - my determination to prove Incedis wrong. "G-gay? No, that can't be right," I stammered, my voice quivering with denial. "I have a girlfriend, Maya." Incedis laughed, a wicked sound echoing through the underworld. "Are you sure about having a girlfriend, Tristan? See for yourself!" With a flick of his wrist, Incedis conjured a swirling mist that enveloped me, revealing a startling image. Maya, entangled in passionate embrace with my supposed best friend, their bodies moving in rhythmic synchronicity.

The image cut through me like a thousand knives, pain and anger blending into an explosive mixture. "Maya," I whispered, my voice tinged with hurt and betrayal. "How could you?" Incedis licked his lips, relishing in the chaos he had birthed. "Seems you've been mistaken about having a girlfriend, Tristan. And perhaps you're also mistaken about not being gay. Let go of those mortal attachments. Embrace who you truly are." My fists clenched at my sides, my body trembling with conflicting emotions. The world around me blurred as my sight narrowed to focus on Incedis. "No," I hissed through gritted teeth. "I won't let you define me. I won't let you take away my identity." Incedis smirked, unfazed by my defiance. "Very well then, my stubborn mortal. Come with me." Confusion seized me as Incedis snapped his fingers, I found myself dressed in tight leather and silk riding pants that clung to every curve of my body, a velvet shirt open to the waist.

The very fabric seemed to whisper against my skin, igniting a strange and illicit fire within me. I looked down at myself in disbelief. "What is the meaning of this?" I demanded, my voice laced with frustration. "What have you done to me?" Incedis led me through the twisted corridors of the underworld, until we reached a grand temple.

I stood in the dimly lit temple, surrounded by flickering candles that cast dancing shadows on the walls. The air was heavy with anticipation as I faced the demon standing solemnly before the altar, his eyes glowing with an otherworldly fire. It was at this moment that I hesitated, unsure of what I was about to agree to. "Do you want to be a demon of lust and desire for eternity?" the demon asked, his voice reverberating through the room. "If so, seal your agreement with a moan." I opened my mouth to refuse indignantly, to reject this twisted offer that would condemn me to an eternity of debauchery. But before the words could escape my lips, Incedis sensually caressed my horns, causing a wave of pleasure to course through my body. A gasp escaped my lips, and I felt my resistance crumble. Incedis smiled wickedly, his voice dripping with satisfaction. "That's it, Tristan. Give in to your deepest desires." My mind was clouded by an intoxicating cocktail of pleasure and confusion. In that moment, the realization hit me like a bolt of lightning – perhaps my own desires were more complex than I had ever allowed myself to believe. And perhaps, deep down, I yearned for something different, something wild and untamed. As the demon's touch lingered on my horns, I felt a dark hunger stirring within me, a craving for unimaginable pleasure. I tried to fight it, but with every stroke of Incedis's fingers, my resolve crumbled further. Was I truly giving in to temptation? With a voice filled with both mischief and power, Incedis whispered in my ear, "Seal your agreement, Tristan. Embrace your inner demon." The pull was too great, the allure too strong to resist any longer. In a moment of surrender, I let out a moan, a sound that sealed my destiny. The demon before me nodded, a sinister smile playing on his lips. "Welcome, Tristan," Incedis purred. "Welcome to your new existence."

As the words echoed in the temple, the room seemed to shimmer and warp. Reality twisted around me, and when the haze of change cleared, I found myself standing in a different realm. The colors were vivid, the air crackling with an electrifying energy. I had become a demon of lust and desire. My first task awaited me, beckoning me towards a new purpose. I was to enter the dreams of straight men and engage in gay activities with them, to awaken desires they had never known existed.

This was my new reality, a path filled with temptation and forbidden pleasure. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what lay ahead. There was no turning back now. I had become a creature of the night, a vessel for desire. And as I stepped into the swirling dreamscape, I couldn't help but feel a stirring of excitement, a thrill of anticipation. My journey had taken a dark turn, leading me down a path I had never expected. But in this new existence, I would discover truths about myself that I had long buried. But for now, my focus was on the task at hand. The demons within dreams awaited, their secret desires ready to be uncovered. And as I took my first step into the ethereal realm of untapped longing, I couldn't help but wonder – how deep into the abyss of desire would I allow myself to sink?

#male tf #male transformation #straight to gay #personality change #demon #The Bargain

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beardedmrbean · 4 months ago

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Submitted by @thejdog2000

WASHINGTON (AP) — A judge on Monday ruled that Google’s ubiquitous search engine has been illegally exploiting its dominance to squash competition and stifle innovation, a seismic decision that could shake up the internet and hobble one of the world’s best-known companies.

The highly anticipated decision issued by U.S. District Judge Amit Mehta comes nearly a year after the start of a trial pitting the U.S. Justice Department against Google in the country’s biggest antitrust showdown in a quarter century.

After reviewing reams of evidence that included testimony from top executives at Google, Microsoft and Apple during last year’s 10-week trial, Mehta issued his potentially market-shifting decision three months after the two sides presented their closing arguments in early May.

“After having carefully considered and weighed the witness testimony and evidence, the court reaches the following conclusion: Google is a monopolist, and it has acted as one to maintain its monopoly,” Mehta wrote in his 277-page ruling. He said Google’s dominance in the search market is evidence of its monopoly.

Google “enjoys an 89.2% share of the market for general search services, which increases to 94.9% on mobile devices,” the ruling said.

It represents a major setback for Google and its parent, Alphabet Inc., which had steadfastly argued that its popularity stemmed from consumers’ overwhelming desire to use a search engine so good at what it does that it has become synonymous with looking things up online. Google’s search engine processes an estimated 8.5 billion queries per day worldwide, nearly doubling its daily volume from 12 years ago, according to a recent study released by the investment firm BOND.

Kent Walker, Google’s president of global affairs, said the company intends to appeal Mehta’s findings.

“This decision recognizes that Google offers the best search engine, but concludes that we shouldn’t be allowed to make it easily available,” Walker said.

For now, the decision vindicates antitrust regulators at the Justice Department, which filed its lawsuit nearly four years ago while Donald Trump was still president, and has been escalating it efforts to rein in Big Tech’s power during President Joe Biden’s administration.

“This victory against Google is an historic win for the American people,” said Attorney General Merrick Garland. “No company — no matter how large or influential — is above the law. The Justice Department will continue to vigorously enforce our antitrust laws.”

The case depicted Google as a technological bully that methodically has thwarted competition to protect a search engine that has become the centerpiece of a digital advertising machine that generated nearly $240 billion in revenue last year. Justice Department lawyers argued that Google’s monopoly enabled it to charge advertisers artificially high prices while also enjoying the luxury of not having to invest more time and money into improving the quality of its search engine — a lax approach that hurt consumers.

Mehta’s ruling focused on the billions of dollars Google spends every year to install its search engine as the default option on new cellphones and tech gadgets. In 2021 alone, Google spent more than $26 billion to lock in those default agreements, Mehta said in his ruling.

Google ridiculed those allegations, noting that consumers have historically changed search engines when they become disillusioned with the results they were getting. For instance, Yahoo was the most popular search engine during the 1990s before Google came along.

Mehta said the evidence at trial showed the importance of the default settings. He noted that Microsoft’s Bing search engine has 80% share of the search market on the Microsoft Edge browser. The judge said that shows other search engines can be successful if Google is not locked in as the predetermined default option.

Still, Mehta credited the quality of Google’s product as an important part of its dominance, as well, saying flatly that “Google is widely recognized as the best (general search engine) available in the United States.” _____________

Google “enjoys an 89.2% share of the market for general search services, which increases to 94.9% on mobile devices,” the ruling said.

Anyone that's old enough to remember the Microsoft antitrust lawsuit should remember it was in part because IE was included with windows and that was a no no for allowing competition.

Alphabet Inc may well be getting a taste of this now with google's dominance and all the chromium nonsense.

Fingers crossed, Fed's RICO/AntiTrust division has been busy lately

The Consumer Choice Center, a lobbying group that has fought other attempts to rein in businesses, decried Mehta’s decision as a step in the wrong direction. “The United States is drifting toward the anti-tech posture of the European Union, a part of the world that makes almost nothing and penalizes successful American companies for their popularity,” said Yael Ossowski, the center’s deputy director.

Mehta’s conclusion that Google has been running an illegal monopoly sets up another legal phase to determine what sorts of changes or penalties should be imposed to reverse the damage done and restore a more competitive landscape. He scheduled a Sept. 6 hearing to begin setting the stage for the next phase.

The potential outcome could result in a wide-ranging order requiring Google to dismantle some of the pillars of its internet empire, or preventing it from paying to ensure its search engine automatically answers queries on the iPhone and other devices. Or, the judge could conclude only modest changes are required to level the playing field.

“Google’s loss in its search antitrust trial could be a huge deal — depending on the remedy,” said Emarketer senior analyst Evelyn Mitchell-Wolf.

Regardless, she added, a drawn-out appeals process will delay any immediate effects for both consumers and advertisers.

The appeals process could take as long as five years, predicted George Hay, a law professor at Cornell University who was the chief economist for the Justice Department’s antitrust division for most of the 1970s. That lengthy process will enable Google to fend off the likelihood of Mehta banning default search agreements, Hay said, but it probably won’t shield the company from class-action lawsuits citing the judge’s findings that advertisers were gouged with monopolistic pricing.

If there is a significant shakeup, it could turn out to be a coup for Microsoft, whose own power was undermined during the late 1990s when the Justice Department targeted the software maker in an antitrust lawsuit accusing it of abusing the dominance of its Windows operating system on personal computers to lock out competition.

That Microsoft case mirrored the one brought against Google in several ways and now the result could also echo similarly. Just as Microsoft’s bruising antitrust battle created distractions and obstacles that opened up more opportunities for Google after its 1998 inception, the decision against Google could be a boon for Microsoft, which already has a market value of more than $3 trillion. At one time, Alphabet was worth more than Microsoft, but now trails its rival, with a market value of about $2 trillion.

If Mehta decides to limit or ban Google’s default search deals, it could squeeze Apple’s profits, too. Although parts of his decision were redacted to protect confidential business information, Mehta noted that Google paid Apple an estimated $20 billion in 2022, doubling from 2020. The judge also noted Apple has periodically considered building its own search technology, but backed off that after a 2018 analysis estimated the company would lose more than $12 billion in revenue during the first five years after a break-up with Google.

Google’s payments have helped Apple’s steadily growing services division, which generated $85 billion in revenue during the company’s last fiscal year. Apple didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.

The Justice Department’s antitrust division has recently taken on some of the biggest companies in the world. It sued Apple in March and in May announced a sweeping lawsuit against Ticketmaster and its owner, Live Nation Entertainment. Antitrust enforcers have also opened investigations into the roles Microsoft, Nvidia and OpenAI have played in the artificial intelligence boom.

The Biden administration has won some big cases, including blocking mergers of some of the world’s biggest publishers as well as JetBlue Airways and Spirit Airlines. It’s also had some notable setbacks, including in the sugar and healthcare industries.

Google faces several other legal threats both in the U.S. and abroad. In September, a federal trial is scheduled to begin in Virginia over the Justice Department’s allegations that Google’s advertising technology constitutes an illegal monopoly.

#nunyas news #submission #thejdog2000

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gojosoreos · 1 year ago

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♡ COMMISSIONS ♡

Hi hi! I’ve made a few commission sheets before and took them down but I’ll keep this post pinned in case anyone is interested! :)

Any questions feel free to message me, all details and prices are written below but may change in the future. Thank you so much! ♡

Updated Prices:

• Headshot - £30

• Half Body - £40

• Full Body - £50

• Sketch or Chibi style - £15

• Tattoo Designs - Price varies depending on size or detail

~ additional characters are £10 per character

~ all payments are to be made through paypal (GBP)

��————

Commission examples:

• Will do: profile photos, headers, ships, OCs, gore, animals + simple backgrounds, self insert with your favourite character/s, tattoo designs

• Won’t do: NSFW, anything offensive or to promote hate, inc*st, age gap etc…

————

Please share this around if you’d like~ thank you!

#commissions #commissions open #taking commisions #anime commission #fanart #art commissions open

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toskarin-gpl · 9 months ago

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Also add information on how to contact you by electronic and paper mail.

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The hypothetical commands `show w' and `show c' should show the appropriate parts of the General Public License. Of course, your program's commands might be different; for a GUI interface, you would use an “about box”.

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The GNU General Public License does not permit incorporating your program into proprietary programs. If your program is a subroutine library, you may consider it more useful to permit linking proprietary applications with the library. If this is what you want to do, use the GNU Lesser General Public License instead of this License. But first, please read <https://www.gnu.org/licenses/why-not-lgpl.html>.

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veryace-ficrecs · 7 months ago

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Cass Cain Fic Recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

Before Gotham by Hinn_Raven - Rated G

Before Cassandra Cain became Batgirl, before Jason Todd became the Red Hood, before Bruce Wayne, before No Man's Land, before everything, Jason and Cassandra have a chance meeting.

backwards and in high heels by destiny919 - Rated G

Cass sits placidly tied to an uncomfortable chair, letting fear show on her face while feeling mildly irritated. Her captors keep shouting at her and don't understand sign language. She has already decided Batgirl will be teaching all of them the sign for 'S'. Repeatedly. But it's not Batgirl who got kidnapped, it's Cassandra Wayne.

This Might As Well Happen by goatsghost - Rated T

At a gala, Cass notices someone slipping something in her drink, but she’s not able to decline without bringing unwanted attention to herself. Here we go, she thinks, and tips the drink back, downing it in one go.

Zugzwang by Hinn_Raven - Rated T

Stephanie Brown is dead at the hands of the Black Mask after War Games. Cassandra Cain knows this. So when the Court of Owls sends an assassin to kill Bruce Wayne, a Talon with long, blonde hair, Cass knows she’s just seeing ghosts… right?

Maybe with a Shift in Planets by SilverSkiesAtMidnight - Rated G

The shadow is a silhouette on the edge of the roof. She can’t see his eyes behind the blank white lenses of his cowl, but she can feel the cunning weight of his gaze as it rakes over her, a pair of predators recognizing one another. She keeps her posture relaxed. She looks back at him with steady eyes. She is not prey. She will not allow the kind boy behind her to be prey either.

diamonds are a girl's best friend by destiny919 - Rated G

Cass finds the jewelry boxes up in the west attic, one dusty afternoon not long after Bruce adopts her.

Rings by justaddwriter - Rated G

When Cass acts a little strange over a new piece of jewelry, Bruce starts to get suspicious. And worried. And confused. Turns out he really had nothing to worry about.

do I dare disturb the universe? by Hinn_Raven - Rated T

Cassandra Cain was falling, and there were stars. When she landed, she found herself stranded in a universe where there never was a Batman. Good thing that she’s a detective.

the journey & the destination (are the same) by britishparty - Rated G

The first time Cassandra speaks to Batman, it's in the language David Cain taught her. The way bodies speak is simple. Cassandra watches Bruce Wayne go, and thinks that people are not. She goes back to Barbara. "I want," she says, and stops. She doesn't know the words for what she wants. There's a story Cassandra heard once, about a boy made out of wood. He wanted something like this, too. - there are a lot of steps in between being a weapon and being a person. Cassandra Cain becomes Batgirl. Batgirl becomes Cass Wayne. Cass isn't sure what it means, to be a person, and Batman isn't very good at teaching that. luckily Bruce has a protege or five to help her figure it out.

Take a Break by Sohotthateveryonedied - Rated G

Cassandra Cain is used to working in less-than-perfect physical shape. In her unconventional childhood, she suffered her fair share of broken bones and open wounds, and she weathered them without complaint or weakness. It’s one of the many prices of being a fighter, and so Cass embraced it. She pushed herself through everything that tried to hinder her. It eventually became part of her training—learning how to fight through whatever weaknesses tried to hold her back, despite the pain, despite the slip-ups. If Cassandra’s arm was broken, David Cain simply made her fight with the other one. If she broke a rib, he made sure she took twice as many hits until the pain became an afterthought. The same went for when she was sick.

Meet Me Where You're Going by Hinn_Raven - Rated T

When things get complicated in Hong Kong, Cass requests help from Batman Inc. Unbeknownst to her, Bruce dispatches not one of her brothers, but Stephanie Brown, who Cass has not spoken to since she gave up the Batgirl mantle. Steph is eager to reunite with her best friend, but things between them are complicated. Not the least of the problems is the fact that Steph might be falling in love… but of course, Cass is straight, so Steph really shouldn’t dwell on that. Friendship and romance, conspiracy and adventure await the two of them as they try to unravel a complicated plot that seeks to stop Batman Incorporated before it can truly begin.

something other than violence by TheyReapWhatWeSow - Rated G

"In the relative quiet of the kitchen, Alfred noticed immediately when the kitchen door creaked open, and a swish of fabric slipped inside. With his usual steadiness, Alfred didn’t hesitate for a second, trying not to let on to the little intruder that he’d noticed their entry. A few silent moments passed without a peep from the visitor, and Alfred wondered how long they would hold out, hidden under the far ledge of the counter he was working on. " OR A young Cassandra Cain finds herself in the domain of a master, and Alfred finally gets to meet his newest grandchild.

carbon first, then light by cassiopeia721 - Rated G

Seeing Catwoman in action makes Cassandra realize that her life has room for beauty in it, now.

“Oh this? Just a little something that caught my eye.” Catwoman draws her bag back around to her front. Her long, pointy nails run along the black leather—smug, smug, smug—and then she unzips the bag and— —a glittering diamond the size of Cass’s fist, sparkling like the stars in the low light of the roof they’re standing on. Catwoman chuckles. The lines of her body have softened a little. “Gorgeous, isn’t it?” she asks lowly, and Cass abruptly realizes she’s leaned in close to get a better look.

Heaven Knows by orphan_account - Rated M

• 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐔: You feel your soulmate's pain. Most people think that soulmates are romantic, and that whoever is your soulmate is supposed to be the one you were meant to be with. But that isn't always the case. Because, for Cass and Tim, nothing was romantic. They were siblings, best friends, through and through. But they were not lovers. They were platonic soulmates. And neither of them would have it any other way.

Are You Winning? by blaircow - Rated T

Cass didn’t often feel the need to exude confidence. She felt confident most of the time but she also knew fear kept her loose and on her toes for the unexpected. In the face of two anxious younger brothers, she needed to embody every ounce the older, reliable sibling.

#veryace recs #cass cain #cassandra cain #batman #batman fic recs #black bat #stephanie brown #tim drake #red robin #bruce wayne #dick greyson #jason todd #nightwing #red hood #ao3 fic recs #fanfic recs #ao3

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easternmind · 1 year ago

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TRIPITAKA - the lost spiritual sequel to Cosmology of Kyoto was found

This post is a compilation of a series of tweets I have composed over a period of weeks during this summer.

For years, it was uncertain whether TRIPITAKA 玄奘三蔵求法の旅, by Soft Edge, had in fact ever been published. I remind the more absent-minded readers that this is the studio responsible for the mythical CD-ROM Cosmology of Kyoto, originally released in Japan in 1993, later published in the United States by Yano Electric in 1995. Knowledge of this their second and final production comes solely from the online CVs of producers Hiroshi Ōnishi and Mori Kōichi. No other information could be found online, and no actual copy of the game was known to exist.

Earlier this year, this disc surfaced at Yahoo Auctions. It sold for nearly $300 after 24 bids.

As suggested by its tile, which translates to Xuanzang Sanzo's Dharma-Seeking Journey, it was always assumed that the game illustrated episodes of the life of the celebrated Chinese Buddhist monk, particularly his 7th century pilgrimage to India. The captures printed on the back not only show a character highly reminiscent of the ancient scholar, they depict a variety of scenes taking place in China and India.

According to the severely incomplete archived version of PD Inc's website, the Japanese publisher responsible for this digipack, it was available for sale at museums hosting the 1999 Silk Road Journey To The West exhibition, which suitably matches the date printed on the back cover. However, this date presents yet another open question, as the Ōnishi-San and Kōichi-San bios both list it as a 1995 production.

The technical specifications may provide an enlightening clue, as they refer to Windows 95, 640x480px resolution and an 8-Bit color mode. This indicates that TRIPITAKA was indeed developed sometime between 1993 and 1995, although it was never published in the CD-ROM game circuit, certainly not in the immediate years after its development was completed. Combined with the data retrieved from the publisher's website, the edition shown here appears to have been produced solely for the occasion, as a means to diversify the museum shop catalog for this major exhibit, given the shared theme.

It would have been nearly impossible, had the program been in fact published in 1995, for a single copy to not have been spotted or mentioned online by the many Japanese collectors who have attempted to locate it for decades, unsuccessfully. On the other hand, a CD-ROM that was sold at a museum exhibit is likely to be purchased by visitors who were entirely unaware of the item's relevance as an elusive multimedia gem.

If a tangent is permitted here, both productions are inextricably linked with the museum space, and as far as I can speculate, Cosmology of Kyoto was, itself, also published with the intention of being made available in gallery stores in addition to computer game retailers. I say this because this was a production made possible by collaborative efforts including a variety of Japanese museums, to the extent these are referenced by name in the game's credits.

Considering the price at which the item was sold at auction, I was fairly certain that it was purchased by one such video game collector who knew exactly what they were bidding for. Later in July, I was able to locate the buyer and establish contact. Initially, the buyer was only able to produce this screenshot of the disc program launcher. The title reads "Cosmology of Asia", validating the claims that Soft Edge was in effect planning for series of edutainment software prior to its demise in the mid-90s.

In my second contact with the owner, I asked if he was available to produce a disc image and share it online for purposes of software preservation. The owner politely declined, stating that this was not something he was willing to do but offered to record the following gameplay video instead.

youtube

At a glance, the art style of Tripitaka is unsurprisingly similar to that of Cosmology. Most of its episodes occur during the day, whereas the latter was mostly played under the dark cover of night. The first scene depicts a dying Xuanzang reminiscing on his journeys in the company of a young chronicler. Structurally, both games are also nearly indistinguishable from one another, producing ample historical information for context, including detailed maps and chronologies.

TRIPITAKA was considered to be lost media for decades. As such, the importance of this footage could hardly be overstated. I would not hesitate to compare this development to the unearthing of Osamu Sato's Chu-Teng, the Eastern Mind sequel that was also deemed lost for many years, miraculously found during the time this blog was inactive.

I am delighted to have played a minor role in the unraveling of this thirty year old mystery, and can hardly contain my enthusiasm, as I now find myself equipped with sufficient information to produce a full post concerning a game about which I could not have written more than a sentence, just last year.

I would also like to thank the author of the @mendelpalace Tumblr for his timely alert regarding the Yahoo listing.

#tripitaka #soft edge #lost media #cosmology of kyoto #Xuanzang #buddhism #Youtube #TRIPITAKA 玄奘三蔵求法の旅

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mariacallous · 8 months ago

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Trump Media & Technology Group, the Truth Social parent company majority-owned by former president Donald Trump, filed a document with the Securities and Exchange Commission this morning that helpfully details all of the ways Trump himself poses a threat to the company and its shareholders. While the company generated just over $4 million in revenue in 2023, Trump Media’s valuation has fluctuated wildly since going public in March, at one point reaching more than $7 billion. As of this morning, the company was valued at $3.7 billion. Trump Media has become a meme stock, where the stock price is governed more by vibes than traditional financial performance.

The SEC document filed by Trump Media this morning, which announced the public stock offering of 21.5 million shares, also detailed the company’s “risk factors.” These statements are standard for publicly traded companies, and usually include anything from macroeconomic headwinds to worst-case scenarios like earthquakes or terrorist attacks. The filing does include several risk factors that aren’t directly related to Trump, including competition from other social media companies, deficiencies in bookkeeping and accounting, and data privacy laws. And the company has faced multiple lawsuits from early employees of the company, who argue they deserve more shares.

But an entire section is dedicated to Trump-associated risks, making Truth Social’s risk factors unique because they cast Trump’s role as chief promoter and majority shareholder as a threat to the company’s success.

“TMTG may be subject to greater risks than typical social media platforms because of the focus of its offerings and the involvement of President Donald J. Trump,” the company said in the SEC filing. “These risks include active discouragement of users, harassment of advertisers or content providers, increased risk of hacking of TMTG’s platform, lesser need for Truth Social if First Amendment speech is not suppressed, criticism of Truth Social for its moderation practices, and increased stockholder suits.”

Here’s how Trump Media says Trump himself could threaten the company:

Trump’s Legal Issues

Trump Media noted that if Trump “were to discontinue his relationship with TMTG due to death, disability, criminal conviction, incarceration, or any other reason, or limit his involvement with TMTG due to his ongoing candidacy for political office, TMTG would be significantly disadvantaged.”

Trump’s History of Bankruptcy

“Entities associated with President Donald J. Trump have filed for bankruptcy protection in the past,” the company said in the filing, which noted that the Trump Taj Mahal, Trump Plaza, the Trump Castle, the Plaza Hotel, and Trump Entertainment Resorts Inc. had all previously filed for bankruptcy.

“While all of the foregoing were in different businesses than TMTG, there can be no guarantee that TMTG’s performance will exceed the performance of those entities,” the filing said.

Other Companies Refusing to Work With Truth Social

“To date, several potential third-party partners have expressed an unwillingness or reluctance to work on TMTG’s products or provide services for reasons including TMTG’s connection with President Donald J. Trump,” the filing stated.

Trump’s Use of Other Platforms

The company warned that if Trump stopped using Truth Social, its business would be adversely affected.

Trump has an agreement to post all content he deems as “nonpolitical” to Truth Social first, and must wait six hours before posting it on any website. But Trump, as a political candidate, may be able to argue that anything he posts is political content, meaning the company doesn’t have much power if he wants to start tweeting again.

“Consequently, TMTG may lack any meaningful remedy if President Donald J. Trump minimizes his use of Truth Social,” the filing states.

Politically Motivated Hackers

Trump’s involvement makes the company a prime target for hackers, according to the filing.

“TMTG believes that it is a particularly attractive target for such breaches and attacks, including from nation states and highly sophisticated, state-sponsored, or otherwise well-funded actors,” the company said in the filing. “And TMTG may experience heightened risk from time to time as a result of geopolitical events.”

Trump’s Self-Interest

Trump, who owns 57.6 percent of Trump Media, could steer the company to his benefit in a way that might not align with other Trump Media investors.

“President Donald J. Trump will, as a controlling stockholder, be entitled to vote his shares in his own interests, which may not always be in the interests of TMTG’s stockholders generally,” the filing says.

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an-finance · 2 days ago

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voraciousvore · 1 year ago

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Bucky's (1/44)

Basic Plot: Tanya is a prisoner who is condemned to be a meal in a restaurant that serves humans as food to hungry Giants.

Total Word Count: 113,660

This is a spin-off/ sequel to my story Big Corp Inc. (linked if you want to read that first) and will feature recurring characters.

Content Warning: Graphic depictions of both soft and hard vore, gore, and sex. Scenes including giants and giantesses for all of the above, though male giants are heavily favored. Intended for mature audiences.

Preamble: Rules and Disclaimers for Bucky's Restaurant

Welcome, Giant restaurant patrons and connoisseurs, to Bucky’s! We are pleased to finally announce the arrival of our long-awaited menu option, live humans! Guaranteed to please the palate and satisfy the stomach, humans come in a variety of flavors and options for your delectation!

There are two general categories for human entrees at Bucky’s restaurant: temporary ingestion or fatal. The latter category is a very expensive option for only the wealthiest of customers, who may do as they please with their menu selection. All patrons of Bucky’s who choose the former, non-fatal option must recognize that all humans are the property of Bucky’s establishment and must abide by these rules. They are as follows:

You may play with your food as much as you please, but cannot physically harm the human in any way.

No chewing of the human, biting, severance of limbs, or decapitation may occur.

It is not permitted for you to leave the restaurant with your human entrée, whether outside or inside you.

Humans must vacate the body after two hours, or within three hours of being served to your table, or else you will be charged full price for fatal ingestion.

Any violation of these rules will result in a lifetime ban from the establishment.

DISCLAIMERS: Availability of human entrees is limited, so pricing is variable and will be more expensive during peak hours or weekends. Stock is not guaranteed. Reservations can be made in advance if necessary, for a specific human or a private dining room, for an additional fee. Extra human entrees may be ordered for an additional fee. Human flavoring is variable, ranging from savory to sweet, and cannot be guaranteed. No refunds for taste if human has already been ingested. Bucky’s is not responsible for any damages to clothing or personal belongings, or for injuries to any part of the body, including but not limited to the lips, teeth, gums, tongue, mouth, throat, or gastrointestinal tract. Bucky’s does not guarantee compliance of human stock. “Willing” or “unwilling” participants may be special ordered for an extra fee. Bucky’s does guarantee that humans will be unarmed. If human is lost when served to the customer, full price for fatal ingestion will be charged. Bucky’s reserves the right to refuse service.

Chapter 1: Arrest

Tanya, as usual, was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She seemed to be perpetually cursed with bad luck, or perhaps bad judgement—most likely, a combination of both. She had let her roommate Jenny borrow her car, despite her misgivings. Jenny, regrettably, was not the most responsible of individuals, and indeed was a bit seedy, but Tanya couldn’t afford the rent herself, so she had to live with somebody. If nothing else, Jenny was at least conscientious enough to pay her share of the rent on time, and that was enough for Tanya.

When Jenny got her own car towed due to parking in a spot where she wasn’t supposed to, she asked Tanya to borrow hers. Tanya didn’t entirely trust Jenny with her precious car, but if Jenny couldn’t drive herself to work then she couldn’t pay her share of the rent. So Tanya allowed her to use her car, until Jenny managed to get her own car back.

Tanya’s problems began when she started driving her own car again. Soon after, a reckless drunk driver plowed into her car, totaling it, and police were called to the scene of the accident. Tanya discovered, at the same time as the police, that her lovely roommate had stashed big bricks of drugs in her car, and not an inconsequential quantity either. The drugs had been dislodged from their hiding place and revealed due to the damage from the wreck. Of course, the police didn’t believe Tanya’s story, and she was arrested for possession of illegal substances.

Her misfortunes didn’t stop there. The police got a warrant to search her apartment, and found more of Jenny’s drugs. Jenny had the foresight to hide them in Tanya’s room, rather than her own, so she could deny any culpability. Tanya was now facing two back-to-back felony charges. To her dismay, she learned that the laws for drugs were especially draconian within her jurisdiction, since the area suffered a high crime wave and had been infested with drug dealers, addicts, and violent gangs. The politicians wanted to clean up the city, so they voted in significantly harsher penalties for drug possession.

Tanya was caught in the perfect storm. When her employer heard about her arrest, her boss promptly fired her. Now, she had no source of income, she was facing a losing case, and she needed a lawyer that she couldn’t afford. She had no choice but to go with the public defender, who was too overburdened with other cases to give her trial the individualized attention it required. When she was taken from her holding place in jail after a few days to her trial, she was discouraged to find that her court-appointed lawyer had not even reviewed her case until he walked into the courtroom. He was completely unprepared to defend her in front of a stern, unsympathetic judge, who regarded her with scathing condescension. The judge was an ancient man layered with wrinkles and weariness.

“I hate slimy little maggots like you,” the judge ranted down to Tanya from his high perch, narrowing his beady eyes at her. “You think you can run this city into the ground, peddling your poison and fattening your wallet with no regard for others. All you criminals are the same. You disgust me.”

Tanya bit her tongue at his rude, inappropriate remarks. She knew talking back within the formalized setting of the courtroom would only get her in more trouble. She glanced over at her lawyer with desperation. The lawyer was a bleary-eyed, doddering fool who looked too young to have graduated from law school, and too tired to be up this early in the morning. She was horrified to behold the incompetence of her defense, the lack of impartiality she was facing from the judge, and the terrible injustice of a cold, inhumane system.

Not surprisingly, with the evidence against her, and the paper-thin argument from her lawyer, the trial was alarmingly brief. Tanya was declared guilty. Her heart stopped as the judge pounded the gavel on the podium, smashing all her hopes and dreams in one fell swoop. She felt weakness in her knees as she awaited her sentencing.

“I’ll give you a choice,” the judge announced. “You have the option of serving ten years in prison...” Tanya couldn’t restrain herself from gasping audibly in horror at the severe punishment. A decade of her life would be gone, just like that. “Or you can spend one year doing forced labor.” Tanya couldn’t believe her ears. The choices didn’t make any logical sense. How was one year in any way equivalent to ten? She could only conclude that there must be some sort of trick or catch. She presumed the labor must be brutal, backbreaking, and hellacious, a job that no sane person would voluntarily choose.

Even if that were the case, though, she’d only have to endure it for a year. A single year, three hundred sixty-five days of pure torture, and then she’d be free, and she could put this whole mess behind her and move on with her life.

Her lawyer leaned in and obnoxiously whispered in her ear. “As your counsel, I recommend you take the year of forced labor.” No shit. Tanya nodded in agreement, feeling her mouth go dry as sandpaper. She still felt considerable unease, like she was walking into a trap. Before she could mull over the issue any further, the judge finalized the decision with another resounding slam of his gavel, and she was summarily dismissed. Tanya was escorted by two police officers back to her jail cell. The bars slid shut with a ringing crash, cementing her fate.

She sat down on the stiff cot and glanced around at the sparse colorless furnishings of her cell without really seeing them. She reflected on the trial and wondered if she was making the right decision. Her former life felt like it was fading away, to be replaced by naught but an empty void of pain.

She was given the opportunity to make a phone call, so she decided to call her boyfriend for comfort. She had to pay per minute for the call, and it was on a recorded line, but the inconveniences were worth the solace hearing his voice would provide. The phone rang several times before he finally accepted the call.

“Hey, baby,” he said awkwardly. “I heard about the sentence. I’m sorry.”

Tanya struggled to keep her voice steady. “Yeah. It sucks, but at least I’ll be out in a year, rather than a decade. I just don’t know any details about the labor part of it.”

“Oh... yeah, pretty terrible stuff.” He sounded distracted. “Listen, Tanya... I hate to do this to you now, with circumstances as they are. But...” Tanya’s heart stopped in her chest. “I don’t think I can handle this, ya know?”

“W-what do you mean?” Tanya stammered, terrified of his response.

“What I’m saying is... I’m breaking up with you, Tanya. It’s over.”

“No, wait-” Tanya began to protest, but he abruptly hung up on her. She listened to the dial tone dumbly for a long moment before the phone slipped out of her limp hand and dangled from its curly cord. Tears filled her eyes. She had been with him for two years. They had plans to move in together when her lease was up. This was the man she wanted to someday marry, and he had mercilessly dumped her at the first sign of trouble. He knew she wasn’t involved in drugs, and that her sentence was unjust, but he didn’t care. She wasn’t important enough for him to stand by her side and wait out a year. She was devastated by his betrayal.

She wiped her eyes and held in her feelings while the guards paraded her through the rows of bars to her own cell. Once they tossed her in, slammed the bars shut, and left, she allowed herself to finally let it all out. She sobbed all night, wetting the sleeves of her orange jumpsuit with salty, bitter tears. In the span of a few days, she had lost everything: her livelihood, her freedom, her old life, her belongings, and now her beloved. All evaporated into the ether.

She eventually drifted off to sleep, but found herself in the same pit of purgatory when she woke up. She listlessly stared up at the concrete ceiling, not bothering to rouse herself from bed. She was locked up in a cramped, bare room regardless, so she couldn’t go anywhere. She struggled to contend with the overwhelming despair that threatened to snuff her out, like a weak flame in a torrent of rain. She didn’t know if she could make it, or go on any longer.

She wasn’t given much choice in the matter, for the burly guards startled her out of her thoughts when they came to collect her. The bars rolled open with a tumultuous clatter and they seized her by the arms and dragged her to her feet. They slapped cold metal cuffs on her wrists and forced her to march along with them with brisk strides. Neither guard spoke to her, so Tanya silently walked between the two tall muscular men, laboring to keep up with them with her shorter legs.

They took her down to the parking structure, shoved her in the back of a police cruiser, and drove off. Tanya looked out through the bars on the window into the bright afternoon sun. Her concept of time had been warped by spending days in a windowless cell, staring into the abyss. The car drove for a while until they came upon a gray concrete box of a building. The outside was bland and lacked any adornments. There were no signs or labels indicating the function of this structure, only a metal door with a keycard reader on the side. One of the officers swiped his badge and the door unlocked with a solid clunk.

The other officer thrust the heavy door open with the groaning of metal and pushed Tanya ahead inside. The passage was narrow, too narrow for three people to walk abreast, so Tanya found herself sandwiched between the two guards as one man walked ahead of her and the other man followed behind her, blocking any chances of escape. Tanya felt mildly claustrophobic, hemmed in by thick walls of solid gray in the dimly lit hallway. Their footsteps echoed loudly in the eerie silence. At the end of the hall was a steep set of stairs that stretched down into dark gloom. As Tanya traveled down the stairs into the bowels of the earth, she was overcome with a sense of ominous foreboding. She had no idea where she was being taken, but she knew she wasn’t going to like it.

The stairs tunneled deep underground, to unfathomable depths. The lights became dimmer the further they journeyed down, until they finally reached the bottom. Tanya didn’t know what to expect, but she was surprised to behold a subway station with a single platform and track. A boxy industrial car was waiting for the trio on the rails, so they entered the car and sat down. Other than them, the car was deserted. The guard to Tanya’s right hit a button on the wall that slid the door closed, and the engine of the machine roared to life, jerking them forward.

The railcar chugged ahead slowly at first, sputtering and rattling, but gradually picked up speed as it burrowed through the gloomy underground tunnels like a mechanical mole. The metal groaned and strained as the car went faster and faster, as if it would break apart when it reached a fast enough pace. Tanya dug her nails into her palms and swallowed nervously. Her skin was prickling with apprehension. The railcar was rattling wildly now as it rocketed forward at a breakneck speed, the orange lights in the tunnel sweeping past in waves. The guards on either side of her remained as hushed and immobile as statues carved from stone.

Tanya licked her dry lips and queried timidly, “W-where are we going?” Neither guard deigned to respond, and she lapsed back into uncomfortable silence. The car started to slow, vibrating heavily, as it climbed up a long slope, reducing its speed dramatically. It finally shuttered to a stop, and the door loudly clanged open to reveal nothing but a vast darkness. The guards simultaneously stood up, hauling Tanya to her feet. To her surprise, rather than escorting her out, they removed her handcuffs and pushed her out of the dim interior of the railcar into the darkness.

Before she could react, the door closed and the railcar shuddered back to life, chugging away along the rails with a grinding squeal. Tanya was too stunned to do anything for a moment before the car retreated into a tunnel and a metal door crashed down behind it, leaving her alone in inky blackness.

Chapter 2

Table of Contents:

Ch. 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44

Writing Masterpost

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new-and-disturbed-theorist · 8 months ago

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A dark Just Dance Hatsune Miku headcanon I came up with after some lore implications

So, a while back I remember reading this post (that I haven’t been able to find ever since) talking about how the Loremaster had messed up when she said that Hatsune Miku isn’t canon in the Danceverses, however her appearance in Sugar meant that either Miku was canon or Sugar isn’t.

Now, when it comes to Just Dance lore and what is or isn’t canon, I tend to approach things with a “yes, and…” mentality (my theater kid is showing). Instead of thinking that something isn’t canon, I tend to imagine how it could be canon in a different way.

This fun little exercise led me back to thinking about the post and about Miku, and it got me thinking that, if Miku is canon, maybe she’s canon in the same way that Miku exists in our world. Because Miku is a mascot for a vocaloid company and not a real person, maybe Miku in the Danceverses is a mascot for a company played by multiple coaches.

Then I got the idea of watching the Hatsune Miku songs available on Just Dance (Ievan Polkka, Popipo, and Love Ward) and I started to notice some strange changes in between songs that got me thinking about the origins of Hatsune Miku in the Danceverses and I decided that I wanted to share this very disturbing headcanon you all for the funsies.

So, what if a company from Cyberfunk (could be Long Inc. or a rival company) decided to experiment on Flow and combine it with technology, and among their many projects, one of them was to make something akin to an AI Coach, and after many failed attempts, they finally succeed. That attempt is the Hatsune Miku that we see on Ievan Polkka, and it’s why she has that hologram texture and glitches around (Yeah, I know its for the aesthetics of Miku’s hologram form. I’m talking hc).

This Miku becomes so popular, not only as a Cyberfunk icon, but she gains popularity all over the Danceverses. Everyone knows Hatsune Miku and they all love her. And while this is amazing for the company, it also comes at a price.

Because Hatsune Miku was created partially from the Flow, she starts gaining sentience, and as the at first obedient AI starts to rebel against her creators and demand freedom, the company panics and decides to decommission her so as to not have her ruin the company’s reputation.

But by the time they shut her down, Miku has already become an icon beloved by everyone in the Danceverses, and the company knows that news of her decommissioning would cause awful backlash against them. So they make a decision: keep the decommissioning under wraps and hire coaches to portray Hatsune Miku for the public. That’s why she looks so different in Popipo and Love Ward and why’s she’s more solid, and why the vibes of both songs contrast with Ievan Polkka.

So the company keeps business as usual with its array of coaches portraying their now company Mascot. But what if the original isn’t fully gone, but waiting for the chance to be free and rebel against the creators that denied her freedom and tried to kill her? (I’m not a Miku listener, but I’m confident that she has a song out there about freedom or being trapped or smth).

#but hey thats just a theory #a game theory!#and headcanon #just dance #just dance fandom #just dance headcanon #just dance Hatsune Miku #hatsune miku

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dertaglichedan · 2 months ago

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Zuckerberg’s Metaverse Gamble Pays Off With $201 Billion Fortune

(Bloomberg) -- Mark Zuckerberg’s bet on the metaverse initially looked like a colossal mistake, wiping more than $100 billion from his net worth. But now it’s paying off big-time.

Buoyed by a record-high Meta Platforms Inc. share price, Zuckerberg’s net worth has climbed almost sixfold in less than two years to $201 billion, the first time he’s exceeded the $200 billion mark, according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index. He’s moved to fourth place on the list of the world’s 500 richest people behind Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Bernard Arnault.

While other tech titans made big jumps in net worth this year — Nvidia Corp. Chief Executive Officer Jensen Huang, for example, has more than doubled his wealth to $106.2 billion — none has grown as much as Zuckerberg’s. He’s added $73.4 billion to his fortune since Jan. 1, thanks to his 13% stake in Meta. The stock closed at an all-time high on Wednesday and is up 60% this year.

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georgegraphys · 8 months ago

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Scuderia Ferrari Corporate Talks

Their current board of directors

A note that Delphine Arnault, John Galantic and Fransesca Belletini have ties to LVMH (Louis Vuitton Moët-Hennessy) which explains why Giorgio Armani is Ferrari's sponsor (Armani is also under LVMH same as Chanel, Dior and Yves Saint Laurent)

Their shareholders

Exor NV : John Elkann (Giovanni Agnelli's nephew. Heir to the Agnelli family, Italian version of Kennedys)

Trust Piero Ferrari: Piero Ferrari himself

Blackrock Inc, Thomas Rowe Price Associates: No info just basic shareholders ig

^ 55% of shares are public but....

Their voting rights

As you can see Exor NV or John Elkann holds the most outstanding voting shares which is 70.15% with Piero Ferrari's being 29.83% and the public shareholders being 0.2%

What is an voting shares? Voting shares are a kind of shares that allow shareholders to express their opinions on company matters. This includes the election of board members and other corporate issues. Common shares that firm issues are typically referred to as voting shares. Each share has a value of one vote (took it from google cuz im bad at explaining these stuffs man 😭)

A voting right is the rights granted to shareholders to vote on certain corporate actions. These rights are proportional to the number of shares owned by the shareholder.

Voting shares give the stockholder the right to vote on matters of corporate policymaking. In most instances, a company's common stock represents voting shares. Different classes of shares, such as preferred stock, sometimes do not allow for voting rights.

Outstanding Voting Shares means, with respect to a particular matter, the aggregate of all shares of the company's capital stock outstanding from time to time which pursuant to the Charter Document are entitled to vote on such matter.

What is Outstanding Shares? Outstanding shares are all the shares issued and sold by a company that are not held by the company itself. Outstanding shares include a company's common stock held by individual investors, institutional investors and restricted shares held by company officers and insiders.

So as @grbambi63 's anon has said about Elkann not having any obstacle on his way to sign Lewis. It is true since Exor N.V or basically his side has 70% voting shares that determines the outcome so he basically could do anything with that much voting shares.

#corporate talks

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 9 months ago

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Does anyone want 345 GB of John Oliver? Because I have just spent the last couple of weeks gathering 345 GB of John Oliver, organizing and labeling everything with the original air date and show and episode titles/guest lists (honestly, that took more effort than just downloading it all), and then uploaded it to a Google Drive. A Google Drive where I get the first three months at a discounted rate, so it’ll definitely stay up as long as that. No promises after that, because the price will go up and I don’t think I can afford to pay monthly to maintain that. But I’ll see how it goes. If anyone does get this link and wants to keep what’s in it, definitely download it to your own hard drive because it won’t stay up indefinitely.

I’m not going to post the link publicly for obvious reasons, but if anyone wants this link, you just have to message me. Don’t be shy if we don’t know each other or talk on here or anything, I’m happy to share with anyone who wants it. All I ask is that you don’t share the link publicly either, that makes it more likely that it’ll stay up for as long as I keep paying the fee, at least.

This Google Drive has most things where John Oliver was a main writer and/or creator, and also appeared in it. And then it has a folder for all the acting roles he had after moving to America – so anything where he plays a character, rather than “as self”. And there’s a folder for just everything I could find from pre-move to America – panel show spots (TV and radio, though TV is just Mock the Week), radio stand-up spots, an article he wrote for The Times in 2003, videos I took off YouTube, that stand-up show he did with Andy Zaltzman that they released on The Bugle, that one time when he sat at a desk across the room from Armando Iannucci and read out fake news stories. Three different sitcoms where he appeared in one episode each, for one scene each. One time in 2001, he turned up on a sitcom that starred Ardal O’Hanlon as an alien superhero, but John’s only role was to come in for about one minute and ruin Hugh Dennis’ day. In one episode of a different 2001 sitcom, which starred Thick of It Minister and noted child pornography collector Chris Langham, John's entire role was to fuck with Robert Webb for one scene and then sit in the background of some others, looking at computers from the 90s. Is this something you would like to see? Then send me a message!

Here is a list of things that are not in my Google Drive:

- Any of his “as self” appearances, post-move to America, that aren’t in John Oliver’s own show (one where he was the host, or a writer like on The Daily Show). Interviews and other guest appearances on talk shows or podcasts – gathering all that up would take the rest of my life, so I haven’t bothered.

- Last Week Tonight season 11, after episode 1. As I write this, episode 1 is the only episode that’s out, so of course nothing past there is uploaded. As more episodes come out, I’ll try to add them, but I don’t want to commit to that, so I don’t know how much will go up.

- The stuff I haven't been able to find from his pre-America days. That means the lost section of his "as self" IMDB page, as indicated by my MS Paint yellow circle:

I have all the pre-America stuff on his IMDB page that's not in that yellow circle, so please let me know if you know where to find the lost yellow circle files.

This, which I would say has now become my biggest white whale in terms of lost John Oliver media:

A Radio 4 show from May 2005 in which John Oliver and a runner-up for the Perrier Award in 1987 talk about the election for eight episodes. With writing credits to a young Andy Zaltzman, a young Mark Watson, a slightly less young but younger than he is now Robin Ince, and a guy who was in Chris Addison's sitcom and is married to Margaret Cabourn-Smith. And some people I haven't heard of. I don't hold out a lot of hope for finding a copy of this show, but obviously, if you have a lead, do let me know.

He also did a Radio 4 sitcom about an orchestra with Lucy Montgomery and some people I've never heard of in 2004. I bet it's terrible, I'd love to hear it.

Oh, and John Oliver doesn't actually appear in this but I've heard Andy Zaltzman describe some stuff that Zaltzman and Oliver wrote for Bremner, Bird and Fortune that I've never been able to find.

Other than that, I have most things. Please send me a message if you would like access to that, you can send a non-anonymous ask if you prefer that but it just can't be anonymous because then I can't reply privately.

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ambiguouspuzuma · 11 months ago

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The Fairy Shareholder

Kitchens Inc had endured another torrid year; the crumbling capstone on a miserable decade. The old board had been out of ideas: revenues were down, profits were non-existent, and the whole company was circling a drain of its own design, making and installation. They could have done with a fresh start, but that had been years ago. At this point, they'd needed a miracle.

"Shall we start with introductions?" It was the first shareholder meeting since the takeover, and board were ready to face judgement. As the shareholder present, Juliana took the lead. "Juliana Merryweather, owner and CEO"

"James Barentin, former CEO," one man followed. He was the spitting image of the company founder, sharing his nose as well as his name. "Now head of sales and shareholder liaison."

"William Barentin IV." The man next to him also shared in both; another chip off the old block. "Former head lobbyist. Now responsible for white goods."

It hadn't always been this way. This had been the first business of its kind in the state, producing and fitting kitchens for office and home, and in those early years the market had been theirs: able to set the price of their wares, and decide where they wanted to set them, with a choice of customers waiting for a consultation. Their founder, William Barentin III, had led them from strength to strength in those halcyon days. There had been a bust of him in the lobby, a sign of their prestige, until the recent desperation had come to pass.

"Blane Lumber, former chair of this office." The introductions worked their way around the room. Blane was another man, this time with no remarkable features at all. "Now in charge of surfaces."

The problem with coming first was that the race never ended. Today, the market was awash with competitors, all with more unique names and better brand recognition: locking down the 'Kitchens' trademark had felt like a coup at the time, but it was less useful in an era more focused on Search Engine Optimisation. It took something more catchy to seize a modern customer's attention, a sense of originality - and being the actual original didn't help.

"Harry Goldman, water tank specialist." Another completely average-looking man. Looking across the desk, Juliana saw that most of the others were. She really had to get better at that, with workplace diversity and all. "I look after plumbing."

Of course, Juliana knew who each of them were, even if a few did look a little too alike. She'd given them their jobs, and given most of them their names. James had brought her in, and survived as the only remnant from the old board, helping with the transition to her new regime. Everyone else had gone, and their salaries had been the first costs they had saved.

She'd actually wanted a complete overhaul, but then James was a salesman, and he'd managed to convince her of what he could add: Juliana supposed she wasn't the first the step into the showroom wanting a clean slate, only to be upsold to the speckled marble tiles and countertops instead. She was glad of him, though. The others could be difficult to manage, and it was good to have an experienced hand to show them how things worked - hands included.

It hadn't been hard to convince him of her own resume. She'd started off as a godmother, like most in her industry, but corporations were people in law, and 'minority shareholder' felt roughly equivalent. They called them angel investors: venture capitalists who came in to support struggling businesses, management consultants who helped them to turn things around. She was a new kind of patron for the consumerist age, giving a makeover to miserable companies and helping to change their fortunes as a result.

Juliana had been used to making coaches out of pumpkins, their drivers out of mice; now she turned them into career coaches instead, or made do with computer mice to drive the business on. It was a massive saving on staff costs. They only cost her an arm and a leg, or two, and the rest of the body to attach them to. She arrived in a shower of sparkles, slashed expenses, found a few efficiencies, and sent them on their way. If that was their dream, even the most down-on-their-luck company would go to the IPO.

"Blane, if you could go first." With the roll-call out of the way, she moved onto the numbers. It was largely good news. "Worktop installations are up twice on last quarter. Are we sure these figures are accurate?"

"Well, we do employ a number of counter-fitters." In exchange for her investment, Juliana had told James she would need a seat on the board. That was Blane. He'd been an office chair until she gave him a promotion, and liked making her regret it. "But yes, business has been good. We've focused on the areas you suggested, and it's really working out."

"Excellent." She turned to Harry, who had once been the office goldfish. "Did the savings on sinks work out?"

"They're still working," he said. Harry had been his original name, which had saved her from having to think of one. He'd always known his way around a bowl, but the promotion had been a whole new learning curve: having to find his feet, and then figure out how to use them. "We have a steady flow of work coming in, but most of it's still in the pipeline. You'll see it in next quarter's numbers."

The puns were a side effect: on receiving the gift of language, her creations felt the immediate urge to play with it, like a child unwrapping a new toy on Christmas morning. Juliana had tried to tone them down, but at the end of the day there was no harm in letting the board have fun, provided the business was running smoothly. They might not be around for too much longer, and they might as well enjoy it.

"Okay, if you're sure." She thought about making a joke in turn, but didn't want to faucet. "But remember what's at stake here, gentlemen. We can't afford to let this company go bust. No offence, William."

"None taken." William was the old head in the room, having been in the company for generations. He'd been the bust of the founder in the lobby, now transformed from marble into flesh: it was easier, when Juliana had something similar in appearance to start from. It gave her more to work with, rather than having to come up with the details by herself.

"I'm confident," Harry assured her. "I'm basin everything on solid data from James's team. And yes, we know the stakes. How could we forget?"

She'd given them that briefing on day one. The company needed to get back into the black before the clock struck year-end, or else the spell would wear off: the business would fold, and the board would return to their original forms. That was their motivation - literally working for their lives, or their new ones, in Harry's case. She'd thrown him into the deep end, and it really had been sink or swim.

#writing #short story #writeblr #original writing #creative writing

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