#In terms of personality I think she would be on the colder side

[witchwhatwhere]

She's back with a vengeance! ❤

Out of all of them so far I found Nemesis the hardest to design for BUT I'm happy with the end result. To capture Nemesis she has an exoskeleton around her body to mimic the crab-like shell and eyes in her braids to represent the tentacles.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hello, Can I request a Wednesday X Reader where the reader is a generally fun and mischievous person? Essentially the reader thinks Wednesday hates them as “loud and energetic” are not usually associated with Wednesday, but that’s thrown out the window when Wednesday confesses?

You and Wednesday shouldn’t work. Your aesthetics clashed as much as your personalities did and you were reminded of such whenever you interacted. You were well known amongst the student body of Nevermore as the trickster; playing pranks on teachers and students alike when you felt they were deserving of such a fate. Your ‘stick it to the man’ shtick had earned you to becoming the ire of the few and the idol of the many outcasts, who felt as though they stuck out more even in a school for outcasts.

You didn’t hold an ounce of care for the thoughts of those who hated you. Not when you had friends along the likes of Enid, Ajax, Yoko and Xavier at your side who only ever encouraged you with their chants and cheers. However with Wednesday, she was more prone to stand behind the curtain, puppeteering the events and people from behind the scenes then perform before a crowd beneath stage lights. She despised being paid too much attention, preferring to lurk in places overtaken by darkness and shadows and out of sight. Wednesday was a cunning mastermind who didn’t allow her hands to be dirtied unless the situation calls for it, a wolf in sheeps clothing, the uncanny evil hiding in plain sight.

You were so loud and energetic that you could power an entire town with your laughter for decades whilst Wednesday was the inevitable power outage that casted everything in pitch black darkness that you couldn’t see you own feet, never less past them. You were so unalike and yet you share a table in the quad, sitting so closely together that your bodily warmth seeped into her colder one. You were Nevermore’s enigma that could never be solved because everything about you both getting along seemingly went against nature. You were just as lost as they were as Wednesday’s mood towards you seemed to change periodically throughout the day.

One moment she would be within close proximity of you as you walked to classes, so close in fact that you swore you felt her hand brush against yours as though signifying to you a hidden message; The next she was stood as far away from you as humanly possible. She was pulling you in and pushing you away just as quickly that you felt like a helpless mouse being toyed by their predatory until they eventually get bored and or hungry. You don’t know what you did but you couldn’t help but think that Wednesday only tolerates you because of your shared friend group and had you not been friends with them, she would’ve avoided you like she avoided daylight. Which only proven to hurt more when you came to terms that you held feelings for the mistress of everything dark and morbid; and as cliche as that was but it was true.

So when you noticed that it had been one of those days where Wednesday pretended to be ignorant of your existence when she dragged Enid away from yours, Ajax and Xavier’s table elsewhere during lunch; you couldn’t help but feel the hope that you had held onto for so long about the possibility that Wednesday might in fact like you, die a little. You sigh, slumping back in your seat to pick at your food that you suddenly had little to no desire in consuming, for it would only taste like ash upon your tongue due to your dampen mood. “Don’t beat yourself up about it y/n. You know how Wednesday can get.” Xavier said, trying to uplift you whilst Ajax mirrored him by patting you on the shoulder reassuringly, thinking it would help. It didn’t.

“I know but,” you pause to wet your lips, “i know I shouldn’t take it to heart but it feels as though she’s been avoiding me as of late. I’m not sure what it is I’ve done but it hurts…it hurts to know that the person you like is treating you as though your nonexistent…like you don’t mean as much to them as they do to you.” Ajax and Xavier couldn’t help but feel hurt for you and ashamed in themselves for keeping silent on the reasoning as to why Wednesday has been avoiding you. Enid has accidentally slipped up and told the boys whilst Wednesday had threaded to smother them in their sleep should they tell you before she was ready to tell you herself.

They knew that Wednesday needed more time but considering the downward projectory you were throwing yourself into and how fast it was hurdling up to greet you, they feared that Wednesday wouldn’t be able to act fast enough to save you from yourself. So it was up to Xavier and Ajax to keep your head above water until then. “Maybe she has a valid reason in avoiding you.” Xavier glared at Ajax over your moping form as the gorgon merely shrugged his shoulders and mouthing his apologies to his friend before turning back to you in hopes to backpedal his statement. Ajax’s situation was only made worse when he caught you looking at him with hurt lacing your once gleaming eyes only made the gorgon feel even worse then he already did in lying to you.

“Oh yeah? Mind telling me why that might be since you seem to know her better then me.” Your bitter words weren’t intentionally aimed at him nor Xavier but more so at yourself for not being different for Wednesday. Had you been more aloof or morally questionable would she like you any better? Or hate you even more? You didn’t know anymore and as of right now you didn’t want to talk about her reasonings as to why she had been avoiding you. It only hurt you the more your mind came up with worse and worse conclusions by the second. Ajax and Xavier tried to come up with something convincing when the pair saw that you were running on a short fuse.

However even with their combined mind power, they were unfortunately too slow for your liking as you scoffed a short, “I knew it,” as a response before removing yourself from between them and left the quad before Xavier could hope to grab your wrist in time. “Fuck.” He hissed under his breath as he turned to look over at the table Wednesday and Enid were only to see that they were staring back at him and Ajax. Enid was staring at them in concern before getting up out of her seat to chase after you whilst Wednesday was staring at them with murderous intent, she gave them one simple job and they managed to fucked that up to high heavens.

Boys were incompetent in doing jobs they weren’t tailor made for she concluded as she stood up from her chair, only to sit in the one across your vacant one as she clasped her hands together out on the table in front of her whilst staring at the gorgon and the artist; Almost as though they were about to be throughly investigated. “What happened and I suggest that you tell me quickly because I’m quite positively livid at how you two can muck up a perfectly simple task.” In all honesty Wednesday didn’t care for the reasoning as to what happened, her mind was permanently stuck on the dark expression across your face as you stormed out of the quad.

She knew she was the reason for the expression but she couldn’t quite grasp why it hurt her more then any wound ever to be inflicted. Almost as though you had devised a plan to make her feel how you feel. So as Xavier and Ajax presented their alibis as to what had happened, Wednesday abruptly stood up and starting walking out of the quad in the same direction you had left when Xavier called out to her. “Where are you going off to now?” Wednesday stopped to look over her shoulder and said, “that’s for me to know and you to find out.” Before continuing on her way out of the quad and down the corridors like a bloodhound.

It didn’t take her very long in tracking you and Enid down from the smell of her dorm mates perfume to the sound of her voice, set to a hushed whisper as she sat beside you amidst the school garden. Upset wasn’t the word Wednesday would use to describe your current state, you were down right distraught. No longer were alight with the fires of your passion, no longer was your face alight with life but instead covered by the guise of disappear. As inappropriate as it was but Wednesday couldn’t help but envision you as a weeping deity in your moment of sadness, the flowers nearby seemed to weep alongside you with how low their heads hung from their stems.

To her you were the vision of beauty even in the most vulnerable moments that she couldn’t help but see you in dark mourning attire, tissue in hand as you grieved her death, cursing the gods for taking her away from your eternity together; your love for her persevering even under the guise of grief. Knowing that she couldn’t have you hung out to dry any longer then she already had, Wednesday plucked a nearby black dahlia from it’s flower bed and presented it in front of her chest as though she was about to throw it upon a grave. Enid saw her approach from afar and stood up, causing you to look up at her before following her line of sight as you eyes widened at the sight of her.

“Wednesday?” You said when she was close enough to hear you and without a word on her part, she offered up the black dahlia before you. “As an apology for my recent behaviour.” She claimed as you accepted the flower, bringing it up to your nose to take in it’s scent. “Since your here in person, would you mind telling me why you’ve been so avoidant?” You asked. At this point Enid has already left in order to give you both space to resolve the issue that lingered between you two like a rotting corpse. “I have feelings for you.” She admitted without hesitation, “at first I thought it was because I found your brightness intolerable,” you flinched, “but some time after that I found myself craving your brightness like a vampire craves blood, like a zombie craves flesh.”

Wednesday stops to gauge your reaction to see how tightly you held the dahlia against your chest as though it were to be ripped apart from you at any given moment. You clung to it like a lifeline. “I found my chest fluttering at the sound of your loud and brazen laughter, I found that my cheeks would set themselves ablaze when you look at me with that wildness in your eyes that you’d get after a successful prank. It scares me.” She steps closer to you so that the only you could see was her and vice versa. “However I wish for you to invoke that reaction with me again for as long as we live because it was the safest option then to allow myself to crave the feel your lips against mine.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you held the dahlia even closer against your chest. “If that was the case then why didn’t you tell me? You really hurt me when avoiding me.” You uttered, going in to rest your head against hers, finally feeling your soul healing. “I know it was pathetic of me to run away from my wants and wishes rather then claim them like my parents would.” Wednesday pressed her forehead against yours, “but I only wanted confirmation that what I feel for you isn’t a fleeting fantasy but more of a permanent entanglement of our souls, cara mia.” You smiled widely at her confession, filled with so much relief that you didn’t take notice of the tears that brimmed your eyes.

“You fool,” you said affectionately, flinging your arms over her shoulder, “my mon cher, my love for you is boundless as the night sky.” Wednesday smiled briefly at your short and swift confession as her hands held you by the waist. “Good because I’d be a dead fool to ever let you go.”

[obsessedwrhys]

Damaged Souls

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Grieving him, fluff, angst, relationship between reader and Joel is plantonic (father figure), reader is like the stone cold typa person (this is for the traumatised kiddies!!!), this fic is almost like a prequel to my ellie fic, reader is fem!!

ᯓ★

From how you two became acquainted. You knew Joel through Tess and at the time you were still a kid. But what you didn't expect was for the grumpy man to end up taking care of you after Tess died, going from some guy who comes to visit frequently to the only person you trusted with your life.

Even when Joel was ready to kill everyone in a hospital to save Ellie, you too were ready to do the same. For her and for him. After everything that went down, you agreed to keep the truth about what happened from Ellie. It was like you two had a mutual understanding.

So the moment you three moved into Jacksons, things were somehow looking brighter for your life. Though even good things didn't last forever. Eventually Ellie found out about everything. Going as far as to stomping into your home to initiate an argument that left you two on bad terms.

Now you felt hopeless... the only friend you cared about gone like that.

The winter became colder. The breeze stronger.

You rest your hands on the fence as you stood at your front porch, with nothing to do but to just enjoy the scenery. You were in your sweater and wearing a beanie as well as putting on a pair of mittens. Even with the pretty view, your mind were clouded with worries, worries concerning you and Ellie.

Is it more lonely to be hated or ignored? You wondered.

"Hey" Your eyes perked up as you turned to your side to see Joel approaching your house.

"What are you doing here?" You asked but he just brushes your words off. You watch him step up on your porch.

"How you holdin' up kid?" He stands beside you, mirroring your posture.

"You don't need to ask me, I'm good, you should check up on Ellie instead" You said which had him nodding his head with an amused smirk.

"I know, you're capable... but I'm still askin" He looks at you but you couldn't bring yourself to even look at him.

In a way you felt embarrassed, you always did whenever he cared for you, because almost your whole life you never showed your need for it.

"Won'tcha talk to me? What's botherin' you? Hm?" He nudges you slightly, almost playfully.

You sigh in defeat.

"I'm... scared...." You uttered almost too quietly that if it weren't for the quiet storm he wouldn't have heard you.

"What are you scared of?"

"Everything. Whatever that happens next" You suddenly rest both your elbows on the fence without even realising, seeming like the nerves have gotten to you.

"I'm scared of ending up alone" You admitted and he nods to your words out of understanding.

"Life's full of surprises kid... it's best you let go of those worries, you ain't gonna survive if you keep thinking like that" He stands up, straightening his back.

"You speak like I have a choice"

"You do"

Just then, he grabbed you by the chin to have you face him. With his other hand, he presses the tip of his index finger on your forehead. You didn't fight back but just bat your eyelashes at him.

"These thoughts... they're nothin' but problems you've overcomplicate. One day you'll see that things are better than how you perceived it. I'm sayin' this cause I care about ya" He said, staring directly into your gaze.

"You think Ellie would forgive me? For killing multiple innocents for her?" You raised an eyebrow.

"We did what we had to" He said as he lets go of you to grab onto the fence, staring off into the forest.

"She doesn't seem to see it that way"

"Just give her time"

"That's what I've been doing"

He could tell that from your tone you were frustrated. He was too, Ellie has been ignoring him as well but for some reason he doesn't seem as affected as you are. It made you curious.

"How are you not upset by all this?" You asked.

"... well... this is the kind of things you've gotta deal with once you have kids" He chuckles softly to himself but he clears his throat when he realised you were genuinely interested in his reason.

"Look... what I'm tryna say is... you and Ellie... you're both like daughters to me. It don't matter if we fight or what, I'll still be patient with ya'll, no matter how long the time takes" He said, placing a hand on your shoulder that instinctively made you turn to look at him.

"And how long is that gonna take?" You said, your gaze softening without even noticing.

"As long as it needs to be"

His response leaving you silent for a while. You turned to look away, thinking of the right words to say before looking back at him, but even with the time taken to think, you couldn't bring yourself to say it. His hand from your shoulder now moving to your back to give you a comforting pat.

"I'll leave you to your morning routine, I know how much you hate people interruptin you" He pointed out but you could hear him chuckle as he said it.

Without realising it ,you watched him start to leave, his back turned to you as your mouth was agape. You wanted to call out to him to say what you wanted to say but you were also too embarrassed to do so... so you let him go.

What you didn't realise was that that would end up being your biggest mistake.

The next day you were sent to go on patrol with him, the patrol was going well until a heavy storm hit, next thing you know you both were swarmed with infected. Having to encounter another girl and saving her, she was able to lead you guys to somewhere safe. Only to be lead into another trap.

The sound of a gunshot going off had your heart race, your eyes widening at the sight of Joel having his knee shot. Even with your struggle against the people pinning you down, it wasn't enough but everything went pitch black the moment you endured a punch to the face.

Then it was quiet.

But your consciousness came back. Slowly cries of a familiar voice woke you up. You almost wished you hadn't opened your eyes when you saw the sight waiting for you. He was bloody, hardly recognisable. You could only watch in disbelief as he was being held by Ellie in her arms, tears streaming down her cheek.

Even then, during his funeral, you couldn't even show up. It was too much. You were there with him when it happened. You felt as though you could have stopped it. You knew something felt off so why didn't you notice anything sooner?

The guilt was like a void drowning you in.

Just like that you spent your day pondering about the what ifs and alternative scenarios of what could have been. You made yourself coffee but the sound of you pouring into your cup was soon interrupted by the sound of knocking on your front door.

You let out a sigh before putting down the cups and then heading off to check who it was. When you opened the door, for a split second, an image of Joel appeared and it made you froze in place. Your mind was busy registering what happened that Tommy, who's the person that knocked, stared at you concerningly.

"You alright?" He asked and your lips moved but no words came out.

"I uh yeah... fine... I just haven't had my coffee yet" You said, quickly thinking of an excuse for your behaviour. He nods, seeming convinced.

"Well I just wanted to drop by and see how you were doing. Lot of the folks were beginnin' to worry about ya, they say they haven't seen you around lately" He said and the reality of the outside world was crushing on you.

"I'm good" You said but his face was showing how he wasn't taking it.

"I highly doubt that... but I'm not sayin' I blame ya... everyone's going through it. I just hope you know you're not alone" He said, nodding his head at you out of encouragement.

"... thanks..." You could only say and he looks at you for a while to study your well being before finally leaving.

Even after he left, you didn't go back in your house to get back to your morning coffee. Instead your fingertips scratches at the wood of the door as you began to overthink, one thought overtaking the other rapidly. You've tried multiple solutions to solve this problem but none seemed to work so far. That was until you had an idea.

An idea you might hate but was willing to try.

Putting on your coat, you left the house and decided to walk towards your destination. On the way you could see multiple people going about their days. The sight of seeing parents getting along with their kids made your heart ache which made you look away.

You tend to distant yourselves from the kids at Jacksons.

It wasn't done out of hate or anything.

It was out of envy.

Their innocence were somehow still preserved from the cruelty of this world.

Because how is it that you never got to experience that at a young age?

And when you did experience the safety that you longed for from someone.

It eventually melts away like a lit candle... until it's nothing but just melted wax.

The sound of your shoes crunching on the snow stops the moment you stood at the location you had in mind. You could only stare down at him, his grave, decorated with flowers and messages. In a way you felt better knowing so many people looked up to him the way you did.

Then you looked around to make sure there was nobody nearby that could potentially see what you were doing. Being out in the open after shutting everyone out made you felt a sort of guilt. But you also wondered is it really guilt for putting yourself first?

You cleared your throat as you look back down at his grave. Your breath like smoke from the cold weather.

"I uh... I don't really know what to say..." You uttered and you stayed quiet for a moment before finally saying something again.

"I'm sorry... for everything. For letting this happen. You didn't deserve this" You shut your eyes, trying to control the pace of your breathing.

"I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared. I don't know what to do with myself now that you're not here. I want you back... fuck... e-every day I wish you'd just walk up to my house to give me one of your talks. Hh... I really miss you. I fucking miss your voice" You sobbed, tears welling up your eyes as your nose was clogged, making it hard for you to even breath.

"I know I suck and I'm sorry for always being such an asshole to you. Just come back. Please. I fucking beg you" You got on your knees and could only stare hopelessly at his grave. Some part of you inside still not accepting the reality of this.

"I wish I got to tell you how happy I would have been to be your daughter. You're a cool dad. You're the only dad I actually have in this hell hole. Somehow you made me feel loved" You said, the words you've wanted to tell him that day finally coming out.

"I don't wanna be alone. I don't wanna feel these things... please... please..." You trailed off, muttering to yourself that you failed to notice the butterfly fluttering around you... before settling down on his headstone.

The very fear that you've prayed would never come true had became reality.

You were now alone.

You really lost the very same people who said they would stay your side forever.

Your hands than clawed at the snow, the sadness in your chest slowly transforming into rage. Hatred. You could feel your head almost pop from it. The tears feeling cold under your burning cheek. You stare at his grave, your gaze sharp.

"I'm gonna hunt them down... I'll find whoever that girl is... and I'm gonna kill her even if it takes away what humanity I have left in me" You said, a promise.

The butterfly on the headstone flutters its wings at you, almost like it's trying to say something but soon it flies away. You simply watch it go before standing up on your feet and heading back, getting ready for your hunt for revenge.

[theladyofrosewater]

If any of you guys have read my fic "He Never Did" on AO3, then you might be familiar with this idea but I've decided to expand on it with a new au.

(More art at the end by the way)

The first big difference between this AU and canon is that Charlie never died, she never got locked out of her party and William never killed her. Her parents divorced when she was around 10 and her mom took Sammy in the divorce while Henry got Charlie.

Also side note but like standard FNAF content warning because I know a big chunk of my followers dont care about fnaf.

Basic backstory is in 1982 William gets springlocked but survives which sets him on the path of searching for some form of immortality, after this incident he starts acting colder to his family which causes Michael to start acting out and later leads to the prank that goes wrong and kills his younger brother in 1983 with the bite. This leads to the family further falling apart, especially when William starts his experiments which of course leads to Elizabeth's death and the Missing Children's Incident in 1985. Unfortunately, just like how we see in Sister Location the animatronics and the ghosts inside of them are mistreated terribly and without the Puppet being there to calm them down or at least direct the anger towards just adults. They start behaving a lot more dangerously and maiming and evening killing a few people, with the Bite of '87 instead being an incident where several people were killed instead of just a brain injury (don't worry even though he's not featured in this au Jeremy was relatively fine besides the whole frontal lobe thing). Henry is freaking out over all of this while getting most of the blame, while William uses this opportunity to do more experiments. Henry then closes Freddy's for a few years, with the promise it will reopen in a few years once everything has been resolved. William gets pissed and they get into a huge argument afterward Henry kicks him from the company and William opens Circus Baby's Rentals to continue his work. After a few years he gets a breakthrough with remnant but ruins into a huge problem.

In my AU remnant isn't exactly a cure all. It's absolutely TERRIBLE at de-aging someone unless you literally have gallons of the stuff, and even remaining at your current age take a lot in addition to the fact that until you wait for it to disperse into your bloodstream and get absorbed, a person becomes highly flammable and you have to deal with bouts of nausea and vomiting unless you find a good doner match if you consume large amounts. Something important to note is it's similar to blood in my rewrite with a WAY longer regeneration time, like 6-12 months compared to blood's few weeks, but killing someone violently or drawing it out gets you a higher yield

So, William hits a wall in terms of his research that until remembers that he still has (at least in this AU) two kids left alive, Michael and Vanessa. Now right now Vanessa is about 5 and William tested both her and Michael and found that Vanessa would be a terrible match for him but a decent match for any of her siblings, both the live one and the dead ones, so he notes that down but basically ignores her. Not Michael though, he unfortunately could provide a similar enough template to William that any experiments performed on Michael would roughly have the same outcome if performed on William. So, like in canon he convinces Michael to work at Circus Baby's so he can experiment on Michael in secret and if Michael dies, see if he can be brought back. Unfortunately, while William is out of state dealing with investors and some of his other testing grounds, Michael gets scooped and after Ennard leaves him for dead, he wanders around until he finds his way to where Charlie lives because Michael thinks he is well DYING and A. needs someone to know his sister doesn't have anyone to take care of her and B. This is a Marlie AU and if Michael is going to die, he's at least going to tell the girl that he likes how he feels before he kicks the bucket. So, he does and then immediately falls into a coma because he's like super weak and Charlie is freaking out because oh my god what else would you do. She's freaking out on her porch when who shows up but William. What happens next is basically what happens in the fic I wrote. He basically tells Charlie "Hey Michael is basically going to be a suffering mess in constant pain forever unless you help me murder people so we can fix him and if you say no, I may just murder you instead" So Charlie agrees and after about two months, they have hypothetically "fixed" Michael, but he still hasn't woken up yet. William then hands Charlie a case of remnant and tells her to use it on Michael until its gone and then he'll wake up. William then disappears! and yes, he does abandon 5-year-old Vanessa, but don't worry she still has Charlie. So, Charlie does as she's instructed but here comes the issue. Michael never wakes up, no matter how much Charlie waits, in fact he stops even breathing and goes in a rigor mortis like state. Charlie is heartbroken and one night during a thunderstorm she gets a really fucked up idea.

She needs more remnant.

Specifically, she saw and read Williams notes about remnant compatibility and knows that both William and Vanessa have a high compatibility with Michael. Now she's obviously not going to hurt Vanessa, so Charlie goes to the Afton house to try and get answers from William but again he's not there, what Charlie does find is a taunting note and some VERY unsettling records of all the child murder, so Charlie then decides to hunt him down. Obviously, she can't just abandon Vanessa alone with her comatose/possibly dead brother so she heads home to plan. The first thing she does is empty out a freezer in her garage and she sticks Michael in there after giving him another dose of remnant just in case and gathers up all of Vanessa's things and drops her off at Jessica's house, She tells Jessica she has to be gone for a little bit but promises she'll be back as soon as she can and even puts a wad of cash into her best friend's hands as she runs off. Jessica is a little pissed but mostly worried, so she waits exactly a week before she decides to go check on Charlie. Instead of finding Charlie however, she finds an equally confused and concerned Henry because he'd been calling Charlie's house phone and there had been no response. After Jessica tells him how weird Charlie the last time was she saw her, the two decide to enter the house and grow increasingly more concerned as they see that the house is a mess and find more and more concerning notes and papers. Side note Jessica took Vanessa with her because she wasn't going to leave the kid alone. The tour of the house gets worse when they end up in the garage and when Henry is freaking out and little baby Vanessa asks him to be quiet because "Mikey's sleeping right now" and points to the freezer. Que the abject horror of Jessica and Henry as they open the freezer and find what they think is Michael's corpse, which looks like someone has performed surgery on and he's missing an arm which was replaced by a modified endoskeleton hand. Henry and Jessica then rush out of the room, with Jessica dragging Vanessa out with her. They then start freaking out and due to shenanigans Vanessa somehow manages to electrocute Michael because "that's what they do in cartoons." and they start freaking out even MORE when Michael actual wakes up very confused to why he's not dead. Eventually once everyone calms down and talks it out, they realize they need to find Charlie and probably also William.

The main plot of this AU will follow Charlie hunting down William while she frees the spirits she finds along the way. Henry, Jessica and Michael with little Vanessa tagging along have to find Charlie and William to prevent any future possible murders.

If you've made it this far down, Congrats! feel free to send in an ask about the au if you're curious about anything!

[xjulixred45x]

Ahhh if maybe I can request a continuation from the Guinevere!Reader request? Like after the events of 7DS when Arthur gained Chaos he slowly starts to change to how he is in 4KOA. She gets worried and Arthur assures her that he's still the same but seeing as the change becomes worse she soon after escapes and goes into hiding in hopes of finding a way to save him until after the incident in Liones (4KOA) and later is brought back to Camelot. (We'll assume Guinevere!Reader has the same power as...the loli but did a better job in hiding her powers.)

OoohhhOHHhoo this is very interesting! Specially with the trailer of the Anime recently🥺 Thank you for the Request ❤️❤️

Arthur Pedragon King of Chaos x Guinevere!Reader: 4 knights of apocalypse.

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: female

Warnings: SPOILERS FROM THE MANGA OF NANATSU NO TAIZAI AND 4 KNIGHTS OF THE APOCALYPSE!! Arthur with chaos, Angst- some comfort, some soft yandere?? rather Arthur in 4kota being his own warning, reader has the power of a kaleidoscope (can see the future), mentions of death, somewhat long work, I think that's all.

FIRST PART FOR CONTEXT

You didn't like to remember what happened during the holy war. Neither of the you two wanted.

All the humans who died, the friends lost, how Arthur had died, even if it was temporary, it was something that would remain forever in your mind and heart.

only for the total destruction of Camelot to occur shortly after.

The war was won, yes, but at what cost...

It took a toll on both of them.

A part of you felt guilty for not having been able to prevent this future scenario with your power, but Arthur was always quick to tell you you didn't have to feel that way, after all going against destiny was much more dangerous and unpredictable.

Arthur, even with all the loss he had suffered in that time, was happy that you were safe and by his side, he wouldn't change that.

Even if the words of support felt good, you could see right through him, and how the situation had definitely damaged him severely.

not only for his lost arm, but for his damaged spirit.

and it was something else that changed him...

The chaos.

Of course, at the time you did not accept that Merlin used Arthur as a vessel for that thing, but it was not in your power to decide, now, with things as they were, you could see more clearly how Chaos affected Arthur.

Even if it was in his general aura, it made him more threatening, colder...menacing.

He did not direct this attitude towards you! With you, in general terms, he was still the same Arthur that you fell in love with, that you married... but he started to change little by little.

Arthur became considerably more clingy after all the trauma he had gone through in the holy war, at first you even considered it normal, if it weren't for the fact that later it could have been seen as a warning sign.

Arthur is more clingy with chaos, he slowly clings to what he has left in the war, in this case, YOU.

For this reason, he begins to show certain tendencies or amplify those he already had, for example, his protection over you.

I have the personal hc that at first Arthur's outbursts due to the chaos only came to light (initially) in moments of high tension(like in the anime), so the first stage of "infection" so to speak passed quite unnoticed.

However, it does not mean that it did not have worrying moments.

Related to the above, Arthur would literally have quite serious fits of rage if you went on, for example, a small reconnaissance mission with Knights and ended up injured.

and I'm not talking about just "getting angry" I mean he might even deploy his sword with them (you'll have to do something if you want the Knights to come out alive, another warning sign...).

At this point, Arthur begins to show more of the side we see in 4kota, although quite Lowkey.

but it doesn't mean he doesn't say some pretty dark things.

For example, his dislike of other races is becoming more and more evident. especially demons.

Even if you want to understand what's happening to him, you can't, not when you see it and you KNOW that this will end very badly...

I don't think Arthur is confrontational, but you definitely don't sit back and watch him talk bad about the races he fought SIDE BY SIDE in the war. Didn't that matter to him anymore? Now they were all the same to him. the?only evil beings who want to harm humanity?

Arthur has the ability to not shout or take fights to extreme levels, but the worst thing is that he also does not deny anything or leave the argument halfway. which only confirms that his ideas are becoming increasingly solid and dangerous.

Unfortunately you cannot see a future where you change his ideas permanently. at least not now. while Arthur becomes more radical day by day.

but at least you know VERY well what this change is due to: Chaos.

It's the first step in undoing the damage, but it's difficult to do it on your own while Chaos has more and more control over Arthur.

He continues to be a good and loving husband to you... I listen to his opinions and ideas... you don't know what to do.

By the time he has the whole plan to use Britannia to rebuild Camelot at the cost of the lives of the other races and to destroy EVERYTHING in favor of an "eternal kingdom"... that's when you start planning.

you need to find a way to get Chaos out of Arthur.

But first you should get away from him, no matter how discouraging it may be. You love your husband, but for that reason you must leave him to SAVE HIM.

Using your Kaleidoscope, you were able to find the perfect way out of "Camelot" before anyone noticed.

and as soon as you were out of that bubble, you began your journey towards Britannia.

To say that Arthur was distraught at first would be an understatement.

Let's say that at first Arthur thinks you were kidnapped, it's that serious.

He has his knights rushing out to go look for you (fearing for their lives when they return without you or clues to your whereabouts) and Arthur is VERY tempted to go on his own to look for you in every corner of the continent.

but he cannot leave the kingdom for too long. Plus he doesn't want to scare you (when he realizes that you left of your own free will).

and Chaos in a way operates a little on their thoughts so that the following happens.

In the time that follows, you continue traveling to various parts of the continent in search of a cure for Arthur.

Have you tried to go with fairies, with giants, alchemists, magicians, etc.

but you can't find anything useful.

apart from the fact that you are constantly avoiding Arthur's Knights, whether they are specially sent to look for you or they are simply there for "recruitment".

You were able to easily keep a low profile, hiding your Kaleidoscope power from people knowing that that would be what could (probably) give you away.

Having seen everything the small towns had to offer, and unable to return to Carmelide safely by Arthur's knights, you made a hasty decision.

You went to see the deadly sins to ask them for help. but first of all, to King Meliodas.

without knowing that that was precisely what Arthur wanted.

Arthur knew you well enough to know that even if you knew you shouldn't avoid the future, he had to be cautious about when he wanted to bring you back.

From there, he wouldn't care much about the matter of destiny, but definitely with the prophecy of the Knights of the Apocalypse around, he saw the perfect moment to start his plan.

NOW, during this time, Arthur became the version we know of 4kota, deceptively friendly but very lethal, more sadistic, but more relaxed so to speak.

He sees this situation as even fun now (being completely infected by chaos), and he honestly can't wait to have you back and see what trick you had up your sleeve.

The Knights know it, "Merlin" knows it, all of "Camelot" knows it, he misses you. and he is anxious for you to return to him.

He was definitely anxious because you did a good job hiding for so long, he lost track of you many times (it's not like his Knights had it easy), but at least now that he's sure where you're going, he can send someone who KNOWS finish the job at once.

After a while, you arrived in Liones, determined to reach Meliodas, when you saw the vision...

you being taken to Camelot by a knight named IronSide.

damn.

change of plans.

There wouldn't be time to find what you originally came looking for, but maybe you could warn them about Arthur, change things, for the better.

but it would be difficult to keep a low profile, especially knowing that Arthur's Knight would be lurking. It took you a while to get close.

Meliodas was happy to see you after so long! but he definitely got serious when you said your reason for coming was for Arthur. that he was planning something against Liones, that he had to protect the children from the prophecy (especially Percibal).

and not kill Arthur before you could find a cure for him...

It was at that moment that Megagaland attacked.

oh geez, you have to hide again. you thought and went to your current hiding place.

You weren't that surprised to see that someone was already there...

Ironside...

Arthur could feel when you and Ironside entered Camelot, he could only think 'finally'.

finally someone does their job well, finally everything is back to normal-

You are finally back with him.

The feeling he had before of anticipation becomes more palpable, he is anxiously waiting for you to get to where he is, in the throne room.

and he feels calm, knowing that now he not only has the tactical advantage in this little war, but that he has his dear companion with him. What more could he ask for?

He's anticipating what he's going to say to you... after so much time.

Surprisingly you are also anticipating. You don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

You have closely followed the atrocious acts that Arthur has done in the past and continues to do. He is even willing to kill children in order to follow this "everlasting kingdom" for the love of God...

But you know he won't hurt you. He didn't do it before, he won't do it now. no matter how much it changes.

and even if it is difficult to admit. you miss him. He is your husband after all.

but you also miss how everything was before Chaos intervened.....how you would like to help him-

No, you're going to save him...somehow.

even if now you'll probably have to help him with your kaleidoscope...

is what you think as you go with Ironside to what appears to be the lair of the Knights of Chaos.

You (without Ironside, apparently) are transported to the throne room, and see, for the first time in years, Arthur.

He's barely changed physically, advantages of chaos, you suppose, he looks so deceptively innocent...

and meanwhile Arthur can only be grateful that you are finally here...

Do you have any idea how much you worried him when you left? with nothing to say, just leave... but you came back, he can't be mad at you, not when he's been waiting so long to have you this close again...

Far from being angry or minimally irritated with this "act of rebellion," he seems rather amused, even touched, as if what you had done was adorable...he seems happy.

and in some ways, it's contagious. You don't let your guard down, but you can allow yourself this little moment with your husband...

But when he stands up from his throne, he turns towards you and with an expression that reminds you of when everything was fine, he tells you:

-"welcome home, my queen"-

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

@cattivedonne i hope You like it✨thank You very much for the Request ❤️

Now i'm going to sleep bc i have doctor tomorrow morning😭

[zorkaya-moved]

how many regrets do you have?

@healingshard

Regret.

Was that word even recorded in the vocabulary of Zarina's life? The one who was adamant about following her own path without adhering to what others wanted of her didn't seem to have any. Maybe there was one, but it would be something that didn't touch Fuyumi or anyone from the Scions; it only touched her trust in the system at that time. Perhaps, no, it was more about her brother's wish to remain within Ishgard to guard what was left of their family's name. Sokolova thought for a moment before answering t the young Au'Ra, arms loosely crossed under her chest as she looked at her, then to the side, and then back at Fuyumi.

"Trusting my brother's stay in Ishgard," Zarina states plainly but confidently. It was her only regret if anything could come closer to that one singular word. "I trusted my brother's decision that he would be alright if he stayed in Ishgard with Aleksey, but, instead, they both were put through such misery without telling me. I accepted exile from Thordan to keep them safe, but you know how much of a liar the previous ruler was. I couldn't yet enter the city when I was exiled. I learned too late of how they were treated," her golden eyes grew colder the more she talked, clearly showing how unhappy she was with the ordeal. The Juggernaut's anger wasn't loud and explosive; it was cold and sharp. The air's temperature could drop if she had someone like Aymeric in the room. Her distrust in the Lord Commander's rule was not the best thing to hear from her. Her distrust in the whole Ishgardian community tanked quite fast upon her exile. "It was a regret, but it's also something that taught me not to trust anyone's judgment without seeing it for myself first and foremost. It is also why I do not trust anything Y'shtola tells me to do or any of the Scions. If I die, I die on my own terms and decisions."

She isn't here to people-please. She isn't here to fight for the world as a whole. She isn't here to be the savior or the hero. She will do what she wants whenever she wants. It didn't matter how others looked at her.

The majority of Scions scoffed at her for being a part of their group simply because she never listened to Minfilia's wishes and dreams. All because Zarina was here to do the 'dirty' work that Louisoix told her about. She was the Juggernaut, the reaper, and the death. Nothing else mattered. Perhaps, that's why she was the only one speaking so adamantly about Fuyumi's health and reminding everyone else how pathetic they were to rely on just one person as if they'd become infants.

"I live only one life, Fuyumi, as do you," she continues, looking over the younger one with a sudden softness in her golden gaze. The Elezen sighs softly, letting her shoulders drop. "We shouldn't have too many regrets in our life. Live how you wish, do what you wish, and do not look at those around you. To be honest, letting my brother live in Ishgard isn't even regrettable. It's just the closest thing to it," she shrugs, dismissing the previously spoken 'regret.' "I don't have regrets that I would've wanted to return in time to fix; I don't have time for regrets. What I want, I get. What I need, I make a reality. I wouldn't change anything in my life. All of my experiences made me who I am; there are no regrets but past events that built my character."

A moment of silence.

"I'm not the best person to ask about this. I always do what I think is best for protecting my family and myself. That's why there is no room for regrets, only lessons to learn for future opportunities to become stronger, better, and smarter."

[starry--skies]

I don't know any of them, so I'll start off with five questions alskghslkghdsglkdhdlgkh

3, 4, 8, 13, and 17? :D!

asdkjhflgkjhdslkfjgh fair enough!!! gonna stick all this under a readmore cause i'm gonna include a rundown on who's who

so! the hopes :D they are my oc family for undertale and i've made a few variations on them for different universes. the one that's more fleshed out tbh is technically for underfell but honestly it's more my own au at this point. with credit to nic since it was an old rp but. anyway i'm gonna answer for that version just cause. yes <3

anyway so first things first about these guys, they're cat monsters, and they're all colorpoints. specifically different colors of colorpoints because it's my ocs and i get to make the rules <3 if you don't know what colorpoint is, it's the gene that the siamese are most known for - the dark muzzle, ears, paws, and tail. i learned when i was doing a paper on different coat patterns in high school that colorpointing is actually a form of albinism that's heat-based, which is why the body is that white-cream color! if it's colder, you'll see the whole cat turn more to the color their gene is, and if it's warmer, you'll see them turn more white. this is entirely unrelated to the hope family i just think that's a really neat fact about the gene sdkfhgbakjsdhfgklabhdsjkhgbajkdshfbf

i'm gonna put a picture in here that way you can see what i'm referring to with their coloring, since it's easier than just trying to explain what every color term refers to sdkfhbgajdshfbj

so in order, we have the parents - kayla and nick. kayla is a cinnamon point, and nick is a blue point. after them, we have the kids, oldest to youngest - kaylee, neal, kelly, keili, nolan, noah, kylee, and katherine. kaylee is a flame point, neal is is a seal point, kelly is a fawn point, keili is a blue point like nick, nolan is a cream point, noah is a lilac point, and kylee and katherine are chocolate points - kylee and katherine are twins... kinda sorta. it's complicated SDLKGBASDKJFHBAJSDHBF

anyway! just a couple more notes - kylee and katherine go by ky and kat, and because there's so many of them in this family, i'm just gonna answer for these two for now. so on to the questions! also you are more than welcome to ask me more questions about all of them at any point unprompted because i love them all (except the parents) and i will answer without hesitation <3

3. where would they go on vacation ?

kat would love to have a nice quiet vacation in the country honestly. she's very easy to please askdjfgkjhabdskfjhbg ky on the other hand would love the beach. she prefers more exciting places.

4. what is their most embarrassing memory ?

for ky it's probably like, wiping out while skating or something sdfjhbgkashdjfb for kat... hm. she gets embarrassed a lot more easily than her twin, but probably... i'm gonna pull a bit from future canon to what i'm writing and i thiiiink something i may have done as a prompt on a side blog but i think kat's most embarrassing memory would be when she was at a halloween party with a lot of friends and she got in a quiet fight with this one guy that escalated and ended up with her tripping into the punch bowl. defo ran from that embarrassed to all hell.

8. what keeps them up at night ?

oh for ky its absolutely how she'd treat kat when they were younger. she was close to being her number one bully. she feels like that's something she can never really make up for, but she absolutely tries her best to. for kat i think sometimes it's just worry about losing the ones she loves, which in my story is an extremely valid fear because it. kinda does happen. so she doesn't want it to happen again, at all. she'll have nightmares about the person who's the reason for it and all of the things he did and how things could've turned out, both good and bad. this is also true of ky but it's not as strong for her.

13. what’s something that holds them back ?

for kat it's 100% anxiety sdkfjbgjhasdfb baby is ANXIOUS. for ky it's that uh. for pretty much my entire story she's not actually corporeal KDSBHFJKAHDSBFKJGHABSDFJHBG

17. what’s a habit they wish they could drop ?

warnings apply to this answer - it involves self-harm and mentions of abuse. this is the last question, so you can back out of the post/scroll past if you don't want to read it.

ky wishes sometimes that she was nicer. it's hard to not immediately go for the snappish, mean response for her. on top of that, even after what's going to be in the story, she's much more critical of kat than anyone else, and she hates that about herself. for kat, she wishes she could stop feeling like she has to hurt herself sometimes. it's something that stuck with her so long as a kind of survival tactic because of their parents - violence and physical harm were punishments that were used liberally. kat kinda held on to that for a long time, even after my story ends. it's something she's able to control most of the time, but there's days where that urge is too strong to ignore.

[casspurrjoybell-29]

Forgotten Ties - Chapter 18 - Part 3

*Warning Adult Content*

"You're not alone?"

"He's not," Nim said as he stepped out from behind a tree to their side.

He'd crept around there without Skye even noticing.

Impressive, especially considering his size.

Noel startled and pressed a hand to his chest.

"You made me jump. Hello."

Nim gave him a nod of acknowledgement.

He walked over to Skye and handed him back his jacket and gloves.

"I've been listening but I'm not sure I understand your situation, Noel. You're a human travelling with a hybrid?"

Noel inclined his head.

"If that's what you want to call him, though the more I see, the more I start to think that term's a bit too narrow for all the things the Fae are capable of. What do you think I am?"

"Human," Nim said. "I can smell you."

"Right. Feels like the best word for it. I don't think that's all I am anymore, though. Not sure when I changed or even exactly how but this world's sunk into my bones. I live in peace with it."

"Hmm," Nim said. "Maybe my nose doesn't know everything."

"I don't think it really matters what I am," Noel said. "I think it matters who I am and that's what it feels like I've been becoming. Just... myself. Maybe that makes no sense."

"No, I think it makes sense," Skye said.

He had spent most of his life not being himself.

Not even being present in his own mind.

Even the other times he had been aware hadn't felt like this.

He'd never really felt like a person in the way he did now.

"Glad to hear that," Noel said. "Rodney's a good travelling companion but he's not much of a conversationalist. Never quite know what he's thinking. Sometimes it's hard to know if I'm having a deep spiritual awakening or just losing my mind." "

"I should go back and get the others," Nim said. "We want to be across the mountains and well away from here before dark."

"Don't blame you," Noel said. "Every night's been colder than the last. I'm not sure how many more I'm good for myself."

"I'll stay here," Skye said. "I need fire warmth."

Nim eyed Noel critically for a moment, and then nodded.

"I'll be back in a few minutes."

Skye watched Nim leave and then turned back to Noel.

"He normally kisses me, you know. We're in love."

Noel smiled at Skye over the fire that burned between them.

"I could tell that from the way he looks at you. Very protective."

"Yeah. He's also very handsome."

"I'm glad he makes you happy. We need more love in the world right now."

"Yes. In this time of mountains," Skye said as he stared up at the mountain range that loomed up behind Noel.

Skye didn't know much about mountains but leading a troop of children across them seemed like an ambitious task.

Maybe it would be okay, though.

They weren't human children, after all and most of them had benefited from that in some way on their journey so far.

Even Miya, who was one of the littler kids, had excellent balance and endurance.

She probably wouldn't fall off a mountain.

Skye heard a noise behind him and turned to see Nim leading the others towards them through the woods.

"Oh," Noel said when he saw the kids. "You do have your hands full, don't you?"

"Yeah, a little bit," Nim said. "You want to adopt a kid or two? I'd be lying if I said they were well behaved but they're mostly healthy. I think..."

"Where did they come from?"

"Foster care," Nim said. "And before that, well. You know how it goes."

"You know, the sad thing is, I don't think I do," Noel said. "It was only near the end that I started realising how much I didn't know, how much I'd been lied to. I genuinely don't know what you might have been through."

"Sometimes knowing that you don't know is the biggest and most important step."

Marigold walked over to Noel and offered him her hand.

"I'm Marigold."

Noel shook it.

"Noel. Why don't you all sit down for a few minutes and warm up by the fire? If you're going over those mountains, you'll want to start out as warm as possible."

"I'll admit, the mountains taller than when I last saw them," Aris said as she found a spot on the ground in front of the fire.

"We can't turn around now, though. On the other side there's food, shelter, people. A bunch of kids aren't going to survive in the woods on their own. Not long term."

"Sometimes there are no easy answers," Noel said. "Sometimes all the options in front of you are harder than you feel like you can manage, but you have to make a decision anyway."

Without warning, one of the kids let out a scream and as Skye turned to follow her gaze, the rest of the children joined in.

A grey, hairless creature was lumbering towards them out of the woods on all fours.

It looked somewhat human in shape in a very unsettling way.

It had no eyes, nose, or ears.

A fat, algae-green frog sat on top of its head.

"It's all right," Noel shouted over the screaming children. "That's Rodney. He's my friend."

The children mostly quietened down but the closest two still shrieked and ran to the other side of the fire when the creature got close.

"He's not much to look at but... Well, I was going to say that he wouldn't hurt a fly but that's not true," Noel said. "I've seen him catch them and share them with that frog of his. He's a gentle soul, though, really. He doesn't even have teeth."

Rodney flopped down next to the fire like an old dog and stretched out.

Despite his appearance, he wasn't really scary.

Skye prodded him again.

It still felt gross.

"You shoved me in the tunnel, didn't you?"

"You've run into Rodney before?" Noel asked.

"Yes," Skye said. "He made me crawl through a spooky tunnel."

"Oh," Noel said. "Do you know why? Maybe he was trying to help."

"Well, he probably was because there were useful things on the other side of the tunnel but it was dark and I couldn't see him, so I still didn't like it."

"I never would have thought not being able to see Rodney would make him scarier," Noel said.

"No. He's like... hmm," Skye said, pressing his lips together in thought. "You know when you see someone and they have a deformity or something and maybe they would be scary if they were trying to be scary but they're just... a person being a person. I think a person being a person just isn't scary no matter what they look like, and neither is a Rodney being a Rodney."

"I've never thought about it like that before,but I think you're right," Noel said. "I feel sad for him, more than anything but I don't even know if he feels sad for himself. He seems content, honestly."

"Why is there a frog on his head?" Marigold asked.

"Couldn't tell you," Noel said. "It's his pet, I guess. He picked it up the day we started travelling together and he's had it ever since."

"Won't it freeze?" Marigold asked. "I know some frogs can survive being frozen but I'm not sure the frogs around here are built for that."

"I stopped worrying about it weeks ago," Noel said. "It always just seems fine, no matter what. I'm sure it shouldn't be exposed to the sun and other elements as much as it is just sitting on top of Rodney's head like that but it never seems to come to any harm."

"Some magic is subtle," Aris said. "Some things, some people, they're just a little strange."

Rodney stretched out again, hauled himself up and started strolling off in the direction of the mountains.

He paused, turned his head back towards them and made a chittering sound.

"Oh," Noel said. "Well, seems like Rodney's decided we're crossing these mountains with you and it's time to head out. You mind a bit of extra company out there?"

"We'll gladly take the help of another adult and... well, Rodney is strange but there is a certain intelligence about him," Marigold said. "Kids, come on. It's time to go."

They snuffed the fire, picked up their bags and then Rodney led the way towards the icy mountains.

[gray-siriusorion12]

shattered souls

The halls of Hogwarts seemed colder than usual as winter settled in, mirroring the frost that had taken over the hearts of those who once laughed together. Among the shadows, Sirius Black stood, his usual exuberant spirit eclipsed by the weight of secrets and regrets. The heart of the young Gryffindor was a battlefield of emotions, and at the center of it all was y/n, the one person who had managed to find a place in his heart amidst the chaos.

They were inseparable, two souls entwined in a bond that seemed unbreakable. But as darkness seeped into their lives, the very foundation of their love began to crack. The whispers of war grew louder, and with each passing day, fear and uncertainty tainted their once blissful moments.

One frigid afternoon, Sirius found y/n in the secluded corner of the library, surrounded by books but with tear-filled eyes that revealed the torment within. His heart clenched at the sight, knowing that he was both the cause and the cure to her pain.

"Y/n," he said softly, approaching her cautiously as if she were a fragile work of art that might shatter with the slightest touch.

She looked up, her eyes locking with his, and for a moment, they both drowned in the memories of happier times. But the weight of their unspoken truths pressed heavily on their chests, suffocating any hope of relief.

"Sirius," she murmured, her voice trembling with vulnerability. "We can't keep doing this to ourselves. The war is tearing us apart."

He knew she was right. The darkness of their reality had seeped into their bond, and he felt powerless to stop it.

"I can't bear the thought of losing you," he confessed, his voice breaking with raw emotion. "But I can't bear the thought of putting you in danger either."

Her eyes filled with tears, and she stood, taking a step back, creating an emotional distance that mirrored the physical.

"Is it better to lose each other now, on our terms, than to have fate snatch it all away?" she questioned, her voice laced with heartache.

The silence that followed was deafening. Both knew that their love, though intense, couldn't shield them from the cruel reality of the world they lived in. The dark cloud of war loomed over them, threatening to tear their souls apart.

"We have to be strong," y/n whispered, her voice barely audible. "For ourselves, for our friends, for everyone who believes in us."

Sirius nodded, his throat constricted with emotions too overwhelming to express. He wanted to beg her to stay, to never leave his side, but he knew it would be selfish to hold her back from her destiny. Yet, his heart shattered into a thousand pieces as she walked away, the distance between them growing with each step.

As the days turned into weeks, the chasm between them widened, and the pain of their separation gnawed at their very beings. Each time their eyes met, they saw the reflection of what they had lost, and the guilt ate away at their souls.

In the midst of battles and heartbreak, they both tried to find solace in the arms of friends and the warmth of laughter, but the void left by each other's absence remained a constant ache.

One fateful night, during a mission for the Order, Sirius found himself in grave danger, surrounded by Death Eaters. In that moment, all he could think of was y/n – the love he had lost, the love he had pushed away to keep her safe. His heart cried out for her, and he prayed for a chance to tell her how much she meant to him.

The universe seemed to listen to his plea, as suddenly, she appeared, fierce determination in her eyes as she fought alongside him. They moved as one, their souls reconnecting in the midst of chaos and destruction.

When the battle subsided, they stood, bloodied and bruised, but united once more. The fear of losing each other had brought them back together, stronger than before, and they knew that even in the face of darkness, their love would endure.

In the aftermath of the battle, as the sun rose to chase away the night, Sirius and y/n stood together, their hands tightly clasped. They had been to hell and back, their hearts battered and bruised, but their love had survived, shining as a beacon of hope amidst the darkness.

The war may have shattered their souls, but their love, like the phoenix, rose from the ashes, stronger and more resilient than ever. Together, they faced the uncertain future, knowing that no matter what lay ahead, they would face it hand in hand, their love an unbreakable force that defied the very boundaries of fate.

------YEARS LATER-----

"Stay close!" he called out to her, the urgency in his voice echoing her own fears.

But in the chaos of the fight, tragedy struck. Sirius is hit by Bellatrix's curse, and his stunned body arcs into the air and floats through the archway, disappearing behind the veil. Time seemed to slow as y/n watched him fall, that Sirius black grin still frozen on him, his eyes meeting hers one last time with a mix of love and sorrow.

"No, no, no!" y/n cried, rushing to his side, her voice lost in the pandemonium around them.

"Y/n," he whispered, his voice barely audible, but every word etched into her soul. "I love you."

Tears streamed down her face. "I love you too, Sirius. Please, stay with me."

but sirius was already gone

Sirius Black, the brave and valiant young wizard, took his last breath and drifted behind the veil. The world seemed to shatter around her as she held onto him, unwilling to let go.

The fight raged on, but y/n was lost in her grief. Her heart was a cavern of pain, and she couldn't bear to leave Sirius, even as the world continued to crumble.

Days turned into nights, and y/n found herself sitting in their, the memories of their love haunting her. The stars above twinkled with an ethereal beauty, a reminder of the constellation their love had formed.

Y/n traced the stars with her fingers, a silent prayer to the heavens above. She knew that she had to keep fighting, to honor Sirius's memory and the love they had shared, but the pain of his loss was a heavy burden on her soul.

In the weeks that followed, y/n fought with renewed determination, but the void left by Sirius's death never truly healed. His absence was a constant ache in her heart, a reminder of the price they had paid in the war against darkness.

As time passed, y/n learned to carry Sirius's memory with her, a beacon of light in the darkest of times. She knew that their love had transcended death, and in the stillness of night, she would whisper to the stars, feeling a connection to the one she had lost.

"You're my brightest star," she would murmur, her voice breaking. "And even in the darkest of nights, you'll guide me."

In the end, y/n held onto the belief that love could conquer even death. Their love story may have ended in tragedy, but the bond they shared was eternal, forever etched into the fabric of the universe. As the stars shimmered in the night sky, she knew that one day, they would be reunited, their love enduring beyond the reaches of time and space.

[lemonhemlock]

Very interesting breakdown!

Personally I don't think Alicent was a saint, but the comments saying she was a normal noblewoman instead of an evil stepmother are spot on.

My view is that Alicent probably did make an effort with Rhaenyra at the beginning because there was no point in creating animosity. BUT. She did most likely come into the marriage with the (reasonable) expectation that her sons would be above Rhaenyra in the line of succession. And when that didn't happen & Viserys refused to budge, that created an unfriendly atmosphere and Alicent's side of the family started feeling swindled.

As Gwenllian points out, had Viserys made the terms clear from the very beginning, that no children born by his second wife would ever replace Rhaenyra as named heir, it's possible that Otto would not have proceeded with the marriage. This changes a lot of things, because basically the Hightowers' view becomes that Viserys is not respecting his marriage contract and is refusing to enact clauses they feel entitled to, based on law and precedent. Whereas Viserys kept quiet as a mouse and the Hightowers were ultimately faced with a fait accompli.

Something like this is always going to cause resentment and I think at this point Alicent would reasonably start to look at Rhaenyra as a potential danger to her own children, instead of an orphaned girl she nominally has under her care. So, this, to me, marks the point when Alicent would naturally develop an animosity towards the underage Rhaenyra and would probably start being colder / bitchier / spiteful (however you want to call it).

But even so, regardless of her personal feelings of disappointment or outrage or dislike towards her stepdaughter, her proposal of marrying Aegon to Rhaenyra was a way to settle this dispute diplomatically and make the best out of a bad situation. There's a 10-year difference between Aegon and Rhaenyra, less than in the show, not ideal by any means, but not impossible for them to maintain an amiable relationship and even produce children of their own in due time. In any case, it's a preferable scenario to fighting a civil war and getting each other killed in the process, alongside much of the population.

Do you think that book!Alicent was a one dimensional evil stepmother and the show has fixed her by making her a sad victim of the men around her? I don't agree with this take but i see so many people argue in favour of stripping her of her agency in the show in that book!Alicent was nothing but a misogynistic caricature made by the sexist maesters.

Thanks for this question anon! I had actually been meaning to write something about the "evil stepmother" accusations that get thrown at book!Alicent because having recently re-read F&B, I just don't see it.

First of all, and I think most notably, Alicent's relationship with Rhaenyra doesn't really deteriorate completely until Daemon returns to court. Before that, we don't really have much information about the first few years of Viserys' marriage. The fandom likes to claim that Alicent was beefing with a 9 year old but that isn't really backed up with much evidence. After the account that nine year old Rhaenyra poured for her new stepmother at Alicent and Viserys' wedding (and on a seriously wtf note, helped undress her father for the bedding, but that's another topic), the next words we have about Alicent and Rhaenyra are when Alicent quips, about Rhaenyra's relationship with Criston Cole, "Ser Criston protects the princess from her enemies, but who protects the princess from Ser Criston?" And y'all? This is not beefing or bullying. Alicent is pointing out that Rhaenyra, now about 13-ish, is in a vulnerable position as an unmarried young woman. Is she also possibly picking up on some weird predatory vibes with Criston? Perhaps (which is also also interesting, considering Criston later defects to Alicent's camp)! Remember, book!Criston is only a year younger than Daemon, so anything between them would not only be completely off limits because Criston is a kingsguard, but also extremely inappropriate just based on their ages alone. Regardless, Rhaenyra is at this point surrounded by a lot of men ("many lords and knights sought her favor") and Alicent alone seems cognizant of the danger this poses.

After this, the relationship between Alicent and Rhaenyra evidently deteriorates, but we're not told precisely how, only that the "amity between Her Grace and her stepdaughter had proved short lived, for both Rhaenyra and Alicent aspired to be the first lady of the realm..." Keep in mind, this is Gyldayn editorializing without a source, and as for being "first lady of the realm," it's just as likely that Rhaenyra was jealous of her stepmother's position as queen as it was that Alicent had any particular animosity towards Rhaenyra. In any case, the book does not suggest that either of them are at fault for the breakdown.

This is also around the time that Otto gets sent home for bugging Viserys about the succession, so that probably had something to do with it, although this still does not amount to Alicent beefing with a child, as it's doubtful she brought up the situation to Rhaenyra herself, but rather she and Otto brought the issue to Viserys. And although I don't really want to get into the succession weeds here, I do want to make it clear that the expectation that Viserys would make his firstborn son his heir was an entirely reasonable one. Everywhere except for Dorne, sons inherit before daughters, and if Viserys had made it clear before he married Alicent that he had no intention of replacing Rhaenyra as heir, Otto might not have married Alicent to Viserys in the first place. There are multiple examples of men with daughters but no sons remarrying in order to get a male heir. It's the only reason Corlys offered Laena as a bride to Viserys (and, arguably, Corlys would have had the leverage to force the issue, which is perhaps one reason why he did not choose Laena). And it wasn't just Otto and Alicent-- people asked "what of the ruling of the Great Council in 101?" But Viserys basically told naysayers to shut up and stop asking. Okay.

Then we have the dress incident, and at this point Rhaenyra is 14, Daemon is back in town, and there's a tourney on. Alicent wears a green dress, Rhaenyra wears a black and red one. It's interesting that in this chapter, no additional context is given to this event. Much earlier in F&B, we do learn that the High Tower is lit green to call its banners against Maegor the Cruel. The show makes this association clear, but Gyldayn does not say that Alicent did this as a declaration of war on Rhaenyra, only that "the queen wore a green gown, whilst the princess dressed dramatically in Targaryen red and black." If you've read F&B, you know that Gyldayn loves editorializing, so the fact that the association made by the show is completely omitted here suggest that Gyldayn lacked this context, or people at the time of the event simply thought it was a green dress with no additional meaning, or perhaps he expected in-world readers to draw their own conclusions (although it's kind of unlike Gyldayn to resist showing off his knowledge when he can). Regardless, after that, the people gave them the nickname the blacks and the greens, and it stuck.

Anyway, it's clear Alicent and Rhaenyra aren't getting along at this point, and they probably resent each other, but there is no mention of Alicent actually doing anything whatsoever to harm Rhaenyra, much less "bullying a child who has just lost her mother" or "beefing with a nine year old." This seems to be a complete invention. Given that book!Rhaenyra is a spoiled only child, by this point a teenager, accustomed to having her father's undivided attention, and now he has a new wife and at this point three new children in his life, it's equally likely that Rhaenyra was feeling displaced and acting out. However, instead of giving her any helpful guidance or correcting her, the trusted adults in her life reinforce her negative feelings, and as we'll see, even use those insecurities to manipulate her. As for Alicent "poisoning her children against Rhaenyra," there's simply zero evidence to back this up. In fact, what eventually happens would seem to suggest that Alicent was at least somewhat concerned about the hostility between her children and Rhaenyra. And here is when things really break down, because this is where Daemon really starts to stir the pot.

Before the tourney, Daemon had been fighting in the stepstones. He returns to King's Landing a hero, and immediately latches onto Rhaenyra. As for Alicent, "although he treated her with all the courtesy due her station, there was no warmth between them, and men said that the prince was notably cool towards her children, especially his nephews, Aegon and Aemond, whose birth had pushed him still lower in the order of succession." So who is, in fact beefing with children? Daemon Targaryen. At the same time, Daemon starts cozying up to Rhaenyra, giving her extravagant gifts, telling her stories, and doing the one thing that is absolutely sure to win over a teenager, being a hater. Daemon hones in on Rhaenyra's issues with Alicent and together they have a great deal of fun openly mocking Alicent and her children, and what Daemon called the "lickspittles" who were in Alicent's camp. This works very well on Rhaenyra because of course it does! Daemon is the cool dragonriding uncle, the handsome Rogue Prince, and Rhaenyra is eating up the attention. She and Daemon have dragonraces and he tells her she's much prettier than Alicent and strokes that teenage ego. It's also at this point that the rumors about Daemon and Rhaenyra having a sexual relationship begin, and Daemon supposedly asks for Rhaenyra's hand in marriage because "who else would take her now?" Keep in mind, she's fourteen. And whether it's true or not, Viserys exiles Daemon again. He goes back to the Stepstones, and things settle down in King's Landing.

Of course the relationship between between Rhaenyra and her stepmother is bad by this point. Her and Daemon have just spent six months mocking her and her children and their supporters. Aegon is only about four or five years old, so the beef has got to be pretty one sided, although even little kids can tell when they're being given the cold shoulder or laughed at. Rhaenyra even makes a point of always referring to them as her half-brothers, rather than simply as her brothers. Still, a few years pass, Rhaenyra is now sixteen, and it's time for her to get married. Alicent proposes she marry Aegon, and one of the reasons she gives is that they don't get along well. "All the more reason to bind them together in marriage," Alicent says, acknowledging that Rhaenyra hating her now six year old younger brother is in fact a big fucking problem. If Alicent hoped for Rhaenyra and Aegon to marry, why on earth would she poison her children against Rhaenyra? But Viserys shoots this idea down, saying "the boy is Alicent's own blood. She wants him on the throne." And yes, of course she does, but she probably also wants him to stay alive.

So, Rhaenyra marries Laenor, and after that there's really no point in trying to maintain any sort of stepmother relationship, is there? Rhaenyra is now an adult, she's married, and she's made her feelings about Alicent and her siblings very clear. At this point, Alicent has to look out for the safety of her children, who are going to be Rhaenyra's biggest rivals. And if they dislike their older half-sister, who can blame them? Again, this is a girl who spent the better half of six months laughing at them. Rhaenyra did nothing but sabotage that relationship. And if Alicent decides she's going to fight for Aegon's inheritance, she's only doing what any mother in her position would do. There's no evidence she does it for power or greed, she simply does it because she doesn't owe Rhaenyra anything and letting someone who is actively hostile to her children take the throne unchallenged, especially when that person's claim is untraditional to say the least, and seen by many as being weaker than that of her sons, would be taking a huge risk with their lives. There's nothing "evil" in Alicent's actions. Book!Alicent did not bully Rhaenyra, did not "beef with a nine year old," or "poison her children against Rhaenyra," in fact, she did what she could to bind them together, but Rhaenyra, (at least in part taking her cues from Viserys and Daemon), was simply not interested. And you know, that's fine too, Rhaenyra doesn't have to love her stepmother or care about her half-brothers. They're much younger and it's natural that she wouldn't be much interested in them. But as heir to the throne? It sure would have been a much smarter idea to cultivate those relationships.

Book!Alicent isn't an "evil stepmother" though either, after a certain point she she simply prioritizes her own children over someone who has made it abundantly clear she has no use for any of them.

[frannyzooey]

In The Dark: 6

Ezra x f!reader

Rating: Explicit, mentions of drinking, age gap

A/N: Thank you endlessly to @mourningbirds1​ who gave me the best, smartest advice on this chapter. I couldn’t have done it without her input - my writing is better because of her. Thanks also to @krissology​ and @charnelhouse​ who give me the BEST feedback and reassurance on the f i l t h ❤

Series Masterlist

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Thank you for your recent submission to our creative writing program. We regret to inform you that while this piece, as it stands, does not meet the criteria we are looking for in terms of an applicant, that’s not to say it doesn’t have potential. Below are revision requests - please complete them and resubmit…..

Looking at the email, you let out a slow, defeated breath. 

“Shit.”

You rub the frown between your brows, hoping to ease some of the tension seated there and reread the email again. You had hoped for better; would have to do better to have a shot at this program. 

Stepping  to the side on the park path, you read it again. A couple of joggers rhythmically pound pass; a family; some women chatting while one pushes a stroller and they all fade into the background as you read the words on your phone, hoping they say something different this time. 

They don’t.

Closing your email, you start back on the path, opening your music app instead. Only there isn’t really a good song choice for “disappointed I didn’t get into a program I’ve been working really hard for” and so you poke around, listless and defeated. 

Dried leaves skitter along the path, swirled bunches gathering and catching along the edges of the grass, the occasional piece of crumpled trash mixed in with them. It’s brisk, the wind making it colder than the temperature would suggest and while your cheeks sting with the bite in the air, the hot coffee you hold in your hand is a pleasant contrast. Still, you tug your scarf higher around your neck, walking a little faster towards the library. 

There is only one person who would understand what you feel right now, and you know you could call her but you also want another person who wouldn’t quite understand, but could console you in a way you’ve come to crave these last few months. Under normal circumstances, it would be considered good luck that these two people live together, knowing that you could call one and the other would be there too, but not so, in your case. 

Still, you need to talk to someone and when you Facetime Cee, she picks up almost right away. The sight of her familiar face brings you consolation, and you immediately curl into the comfort of her virtual presence and reassurance, pouring out your disappointment. 

“God, that really sucks. I’m sorry.” Cee’s face is clear through your phone, highlighted in the afternoon sun. She looks warm, her plump cheeks a blush pink as she sits on the couch in her living room and it’s like you can feel the warmth of her place through the screen, wishing you were there. You look away from her face, trying to rearrange your features into something that doesn’t look so….depressed. 

“Thanks. I guess I just thought…I don’t know.” 

“You thought you would get in and it’s because you should have. I read that story about a dozen times. It was exactly what they were looking for.”

You raise your eyebrows, staring off to the side. “I guess not.”

“So now what?” she asks, resting her chin on her propped up knee. You say nothing for a moment, and she lets you think. She always knows when to give you a minute. 

“I’m gonna clean it up and resubmit it,” you say eventually, a plan visibility forming in your mind. “They didn’t say that I was out, they just said they need to see some changes before they give me an answer. I’ll make them and see what happens.”

“That’s my girl,” she smiles, and the sight alone is enough to make you feel slightly better about the whole thing. “Maybe you should –”

She pauses, looking off to the side for a moment and you hear the door open on her side before shutting with a click. She turns back to you.  “Come over tonight. Leave it until tomorrow. Give it a night to sit and then look at it with fresh eyes in the morning.”

You hear a mumble off camera and Cee looks up, then swings the camera around to fit Ezra in the frame. He’s come to sit down next to her on the couch and his unexpected appearance makes your heart skip fast in your chest at that familiar swirl of dark curls, the patchy beard, the dimples that appear when he smiles at you.

“You coming over tonight, Birdie? Everything okay?”

“She didn’t get it. The submission,” Cee tells him and he keeps his eyes on you, a slight frown pulling at his mouth. 

“That’s too bad. You should definitely come over then. Let us ply you with drink, make you forget all about it.” He winks, and you find yourself smiling. 

“Yes!” Cee exclaims, excitement lighting up her face. “That’s a great idea. And perfect timing - it’s Ezra’s birthday. We were gonna go out tonight anyway. I was actually gonna see if you wanted to come, and now it looks like you’re free, so….”

“It’s your birthday?” you ask him, pushing down the strong urge to follow it with a question of how old he’s turning. The grays at the corner of his jaw tell you enough; the grimace on his face stops you completely. 

“It is,” he replies easy. “You should definitely come. Want me to come get you?”

The offer is tempting.  Time alone in the car with him, the perfect excuse to see him without Cee, but an idea blooms in your mind as soon as he asks. You have something else in mind. 

“You know what? Lemme just meet you guys there. I have to swing home, drop this stuff off, change.” You pick up the pace in the park, changing directions towards home. 

Cee nods, but Ezra stays put, still looking at you. “You sure? I can come get you.”

“I’m sure. Thanks though.”

–

Sofreh. A Persian restaurant near their house, it’s where Cee tells you to meet them later that evening and when you get there, they are already seated at a table in the corner. You find your way over to it, wanting nothing more than to bend down and greet him with a kiss, but instead you greet him with a smile and take a seat next to him, the one next to Cee occupied with a present. You hand her yours to place next to it. 

When you take your coat off, you can tell by the subtle clench of his fist against his thigh and the way his eyes drop the length of your body that your outfit hit the mark you had hoped it would. A wraparound dress, one that hugs you just right and shrinks your waist and gives a peek at the swell of your breasts - but you have a feeling it’s your lipstick that he’s especially liking right now. The thought is confirmed when you take your seat, turning to him with a smile and he can’t take his eyes off your mouth. 

“Happy Birthday,” you lean in and tell him quietly, nudging his shoulder with yours and he grins wide, nudging you back. His hand settles on your knee with a squeeze. 

“Thanks. Thanks for coming.”

“Of course - I wouldn’t have missed this. I didn’t even know it was your birthday.”

The waiter comes by to take your drink order and as you quickly peruse the menu while Cee says what she wants, he takes the opportunity to lean into you. 

“You should get this one,” he murmurs, the suggestion sounding more seductive than it should. He taps the menu in your hand, his other hand skating around the curve of your knee, his fingers tucking themselves under your thigh. “It’s delicious.”

His mouth waters at the smell of your perfume, his eyes flicking over to your mouth again. Of course you would wear that same lipstick you wore the night of the party. The one he watched you line your mouth with, the one he imagined smeared around the base of his cock later that night. He takes a steadying breath at the thought of it, and your lips curl slightly up. 

He orders for the both of you: a Sekanjabin Martini, with gin, mint syrup, cucumber and lime and when they place the drinks on your table, you make a silly, playful face at how fancy you feel clinking your martini glass against theirs in a cheers. The drink is smooth and crisp, refreshing as the alcohol slides thickly down your throat. He was right, it is delicious.

The space is warm and intimate with the tables closely bunched together and the lighting is dim and inviting. The liquor warms you, flowing through your limbs and making you loose, and you fight the urge to lean into his body. 

When Cee starts a story about something that happened in class today, you’re only half listening, finding it hard to concentrate with him sitting so close to you. His hand is still in place, but the close quarters of the restaurant means you're tucked in tight to the table and no one can see. That thought alone is enough to build and spread through your hips and down between your legs; even more so with every sip of drink you have. When his thumb starts a maddeningly slow caress against your bare skin, he squeezes the plush give of your thigh, feeling you subtly shift in your seat. 

The food turns out to be just as good as the drinks: strained, fresh tart yogurt with shallots and chives, savory feta and herb flatbread, saffron rice with lamb. He casually spoons extra lamb  onto your plate even when you wave him away and you're touched at the way he remembers your particular meat preferences. When you finish your drink, another appears and when you take a sip of it, the pleasant, warm buzz of intoxication goes to your head, in a pleasant way. When the waiter comes around again, you order sparkling water, needing to keep your head around him. 

His clean, masculine smell is enough to transport you to your bedroom, phantom sensations pressing into the inside of your thighs at the memory of his weight between them. The scent of his hair, the husk of his voice, the humid pant of his breath. You take another sip to distract yourself, wishing you were alone with him. Every brush of his arm against yours, the press of his thigh against your knee, the solid closeness of his body. You’re so turned on, even more so when you slip into a daydream about straddling his lap right here at the table to grind yourself against it and Cee’s voice pulls you from the vivid thought. 

“Present time,” she announces, handing him yours. He’s already grinning when he takes it and his laugh is immediate when he opens it, reading the tagline on the front of the used novel out loud. 

“Torn between her fright and desire,” he says dramatically, peeling the rest of the paper off. He flips through the yellowed pages, scanning the words. “Sounds intriguing. The perfect bedtime read.” He turns to you with a sincere smile. “Thank you.” 

“It should have a lot of dirty parts, like you said you were into,” you tease and Cee’s eyebrows raise, her drink paused in midair. 

“Wait, when did you say that? Gross.” She laughs, reaching her hand out for the book. “Lemme see that thing.” She turns it over to read the back, smiling fondly. “I remember seeing this with you a couple weeks ago, at that bookstore. Isn’t this the one that says “member”, like, a lot?”

He reaches to snatch it from her, ignoring the way you’re both laughing. “Don’t spoil it for me, Cee,’ he chides. “I wanna learn all about this dangerous blend of fright and desire for myself.”

She laughs, waving his statement away. Reaching for her gift, it’s about the same size as yours and he gives her a look before reluctantly taking it. 

“Oh stop,” she says. “It’s not a lot, but I thought you might like it.”

It’s a photo, you can see the frame when he opens it, and unlike your gift, he doesn’t laugh. He looks at it thoughtfully, a small smile stretching his cheeks. “I remember this day,” he says softly. 

You lean closer and he shifts the frame towards you so you can see: them, at the beach. Cee looks around twelve years old and Ezra younger too, though it’s hard to tell under his hat and sunglasses. They are leaning towards each other, sharing a towel. The day is bright, though their clothes suggest it’s colder than it looks - pants and sweatshirts, with Cee swaddled in what looks like Ezra’s jacket. “This is a good picture. Thank you.”

She nods her head in a silent your welcome, fishing out her phone. “Look at this,” she says, swiping it open. “When I was trying to find that picture, I found this one. Remember this?”

She shows him the screen and he immediately laughs. “I do. That’s amazing.”

“Peak me right here,” she says, showing it to you and you laugh too, reaching for the phone. 

It’s the two of them, standing on a path somewhere in the wilderness and Ezra is leaning against a railing of some sort, while Cee is standing in the foreground, her eyes almost all the way closed, clearly caught mid talking. She looks awkward in a teenage way, someone who isn’t comfortable yet in her own skin and you feel a rush of endearment for that girl, so unlike the one you know now. 

“Remember when you fell on that trip?” she asks Ezra, and he’s already nodding before she can finish the question. “He totally slipped on the path and really fucked up his arm. You can see it there, in the picture. He took it out of the sleeve and cradled it against his chest under his shirt on the walk back. The way his sleeve kept flopping in the wind was so funny looking? I remember I couldn’t stop laughing.”

“I wouldn’t have fallen if you hadn’t hit me with that stick,” he protests, taking a swallow of his drink. “You were swinging it around, pretending like you had a machete and when you smacked me with it, it hurt like a fucking bullet to the arm. I had to snatch it from you –”

“I didn’t even want to go on that hike in the first place,” she interrupts him, her voice carrying over his. “You deserved to get smacked, making me tramp through the woods for fun.” She emphasizes the word fun with finger quotes and you smile at their bickering, picking up the beach picture again. 

Your early days in the city so lonesome, you never thought you’d be here, at a table, having dinner with your people. You’d always passed places like this on your walk home, looking in from the outside at the couples and the families and the friends. Seated in large groups, or clustered in small ones, sometimes two bodies curled into one another in a semblance of privacy in a public place; the golden wash of interior light over all of them. You had a hard time imagining yourself in their place, you included in one of those small animated with happiness groups, your schedule busy with plans. 

Looking down again at a younger Cee, guilt gnaws at you at this obvious reminder of their connection and shared past. They were together as a unit long before you and will be together for the rest of their lives - a stronger connection than you could ever even understand. How could you come between that? Now that you’ve finally found your people, how could you risk going back to the before? 

Ezra senses a shift in your mood, his eyes noticing the way yours have glazed over. His jaw shifts in thought, wondering where you’ve gone, though he can probably guess with the way you’re studying the picture in front of you. 

“Do you like hiking, Birdie?” he asks, pulling you back into the conversation and you look up at his earnest expression, the warmth in his brown eyes a simmering glow. 

“It’s okay. I haven’t really –”

“It’s settled,” he announces over you, draping his arm around your shoulders. He tucks your body tight to his and you feel a flash of heat at the contact, wondering if he’s making any excuse now to touch you. When he looks down at you, a spark of mischief in his gaze tells you that’s exactly what he’s doing and you play along, eager to stay molded to his side. 

“I’ve got myself a new partner,” he tells Cee, squeezing you close. “We can venture into the woods together. Chart the uncharted. Prospect the dangerous unknown –”

“Oh, be quiet,” she waves at him, picking up her glass. “We were only in the middle of Brooklyn.”

–

“I just ordered it,” he says, tucking his phone back into his back pocket. “Four minutes away.”

“You really didn’t have to do that,” you reply with a face, buttoning your coat. Adjusting your scarf around your neck, he admires the color against your skin. “I could have easily taken the train.”

He waves the suggestion away, giving you a reprimanding look. “I insist, Birdie.”

The three of you are standing outside the restaurant now, the sky the hazy grey of night that never fully gets black due to the lights of the city. The front window of Sofreh casts a glow over him, light catching his profile and though your buzz is keeping you warm enough, you long to go back inside the restaurant. 

There is a yellowish filter from the streetlamps casting over everything: the cars driving down the street, the people walking either to dinner or from it, the three of you as you shift to the side to make room for them. It shines on the pavement of the road, washing over every store front, the remaining leaves on the trees that line the block lit with it. 

Your Uber pulls up to the curb and for a brief, agonizing moment, you hold eye contact with him before he pulls you into a hug. You close your eyes, savoring the firm press of his body as it envelops yours, your senses filled with his warm scent.

“Happy Birthday,” you say into his shoulder, your cheek pressed against the crook of it and he squeezes tighter, holding you for a beat longer. 

“Thank you,” he replies, his voice a low rumble against your body and you want nothing more than to cup his face in your hands and pull him in for a kiss, to let him know how much you mean it. 

He’s already pulling away though when you think it, the hug not nearly as long as you want it to be and he steps to the side, letting Cee have her turn. When she hugs you, she tips in your hold, a laugh bubbling out of her and Ezra pulls her towards him, hooking his arm with hers. 

“Come on, you lush,” he said, pulling her down the sidewalk and he watches you get into your car before turning away. 

—

The night, the liquor, the closeness of him and the reminder of how good he feels flows warm over your skin, putting you in the best of moods when you walk into your apartment. Thoughts of the email you got this morning are long gone, replaced with ones of Ezra and it’s his face in your mind when you pull out your phone, sending him a text. 

Liquid courage courses through your veins. 

Are you awake, old man?

You see bubbles appear on the screen and you picture him standing in the kitchen, fishing his phone out or sitting on his patio, a beer in one hand, grinning. Your phone screen suddenly changes, his name popping up in a call and you answer it, laughing. 

“Why didn’t you just text me back? I knew you were an old man.”

He laughs, the sound deep and rich. “You know I don’t text, Birdie. Did you get home safe?”

You hear a door shut on his end as he slips into his bedroom for some privacy.

“I did. I wish I could have stayed with you guys.”

“You should have,” he replies, and the two of you sit silently for a moment with the unspoken knowledge that that probably wouldn’t have been the best idea. Not after that you’ve done; not after drinking. 

“I was wondering if I could give you another birthday present.” The hesitation in your voice is endearing to him, and he smiles. He hums in approval, the sound making you shiver and your eyes flutter shut. Your body has an unconscious reaction to it, one he would be delighted to see in person. 

“Well now I’m really intrigued. What did you have in mind?”

You stand in front of your mirror, fingering the sash at your waist, imagining you undoing it for him. 

“Are you alone?”

He pauses, breathing hard through his nose, his hand running down the length of his thigh. Jesus. You sound so innocent and unsure, your voice so soft through the phone and he’s already starting to harden in his jeans at the sound of it. 

“Hang on, okay?”

He leaves his phone on his bed, going into the living room. 

Cee is buried in her laptop when he says goodnight, no sign of emerging anytime soon and when he leaves the room, she gives him only a glance and a quick, “Happy Birthday, Ez” before he comes back to you. 

Closing his door behind him, his movements are eager when he snatches his phone off the bed and settling himself against his headboard, he sees your FaceTime request pop up. He answers it before it can even finish the ring and he doesn’t even get a greeting out without sucking in a breath. 

It’s you - your phone propped up somewhere in your bedroom, the lighting a flattering golden color that washes over your skin and in that fucking dress, you look sensuous, seductive. 

“Hello, Birdie,” he greets you, bringing his phone a little closer to his face.

“Hello.” Is it his imagination, or is your voice a little huskier? It makes him twitch inside his pants. 

“Is my birthday present…a phone call?” His eyes light before they darken, drifting down your image to linger on your neckline. “Or is it a show?”

“Something like that,” you bite your bottom lip and his eyes fix on the sight. “I had an idea. I wanna try something.” You shift closer to the screen, your hunch pressing your breasts together in a spill from your bra and your voice lowers even more. “I thought maybe I could turn my sound off and you could…watch me.”

“Watch you do what?” You know he knows what you mean, but you also know he’s not gonna let you get off that easy. He wants to hear you say it. 

“Watch me get undressed,” you start, focusing your eyes on his mouth. Your tongue drags across your bottom lip when you remember what that mouth can do. “Watch me climb into bed.” You pause for a moment, bringing your eyes back to his. “Watch me think about you.”

There it is. The admission makes him smile lazily, almost smug. “Watch you think about me, huh? And what do you do when you think about me?”

“I’m gonna show you.”

“Now why would I want the sound off for that, hmm? You know I wanna hear every pretty sound that comes out of your mouth.” His voice is like gravel, slow and thick like syrup, the register of it sounding low through your phone. 

You shrug, suddenly unsure. “I don’t know, I just thought – I thought maybe it would be hot if we couldn’t talk to each other. We could only watch.”

His eyebrows raise in surprise. “You’re gonna watch me?”

“If you want. Or not - it’s your birthday.”

“Well if it’s my birthday, I think I just wanna come over right now and watch you in person.”

He likes the sudden frown of arousal that bunches your features, his lips turning up at the sight. You slowly shake your head no though and he frowns playfully. 

“Very well, Birdie. If this is all I get…”

You keep your indulgent smile, the corners of it stretching even wider when you place a finger in front of your mouth in a signal for him to be quiet and his expression turns to a sudden hunger, one focused on your mouth. 

You give him a wink, and then you mute your call. 

–

He is riveted when you back away from the camera, standing up so he can see your full body. Your fingers go to the sash of your dress, slowly untying it and when you part the fabric so he can see your bra and panties, he unconsciously brings his phone closer to his face. 

It’s like he’s a voyeur and the thought makes his cock thicken almost instantly, his palm settling over the length of it to press it against his thigh. It comes to him that you wanted to do this silently as a means to test the waters with something like this without the pressure of dirty talk, but also because you knew Cee wouldn’t hear him on the phone this way and he slides down in his bed, stretching out to watch. 

There is something so…erotic about this being silent. You, standing in front of him and cupping the lush curves of your breasts through your bra, the image focused on them. He can see your nipples bead through the thin material, his mouth watering when he remembers the way they taste. 

Your fingers slip into the elastic waistband of your underwear and pulling them down to give him a peek of your hip bone, he can see the beginnings of the sparse patch of hair before you let them go. You let the dress drop silently, turning around for him and he wants to groan at the curve of your ass peeking out beneath the band of your underwear, wanting nothing more than to squeeze it with his hands. 

Instead, he squeezes himself. 

You face the camera again, your arms reaching back to unhook your bra and when you let it drop to the floor, he holds his breath at the sight of your bare breasts. The plump, velvet soft underside of them calls out for his mouth and you come closer to the camera, making sure he can see. 

Fuck. The heel of his hand unconsciously slides down the length of his cock, attempting relief. 

You look at him for a moment, your small hands trying to cup the weight of your breasts in their hold and when you play with the peaks of them until they harden, he lets out a low, soft groan. 

You press them together, bending down to give him a good look and an image of him fucking those lucious tits until he comes on them catches him off guard; a damp bead of precome slipping from the tip of his dick to seep into the fabric of his briefs.  

You turn slowly, silently, your back to the camera. His eyes devour the dip of your waist, your length of your bare skin, but it’s your ass you know is his weakness and so you tug your panties higher, putting the curves of your bottom on display. 

He is riveted to the screen when you start to slide them down, his breath held in his throat when you wiggle them over the curve of your hips and when you bend over to slip them all the way down your legs, he closes his eyes with a frown. 

“Fuck, Birdie,” he groans, the sound a deliciously tight strain in his throat and you stay there for a moment, the folds of your cunt peeking just below the curve of your ass. He can’t hold out, his hand shaking as he works his belt open and then the button of his jeans, the quiet sound of a zipper being pulled down coming through the line and his hand slips underneath the waist of his pants and into his briefs. You can hear it all, the sounds of his movements making you ache empty and when he palms himself with a heavy, deep breath, you stand back up to watch. 

You unmute your phone. 

“Put the camera on it. Lemme see you.”

His reaction is immediate, the screen shifting to his lap and you watch a rhythmic movement under his pants - but he knows that’s not what you want. He pulls his hand out, instead framing the heft of his cock with it through the denim and you can see the full, thick length of the outline, his hand resuming stroking. 

“Do you see what you do to me? Bend over again. I wanna see your ass.”

The power you feel right now is indescribable, even as he calls the shots and you don’t think you have ever felt more desired or wanted in your whole life. 

You mute your end again, standing up and turning around and with a peek over your shoulder to make sure he can still see, you lean forward and brace your hands on the edge of your bed, letting him have his look. 

Your hand drifts down between your legs to skim feather light over your cunt and he watches with rapt attention as the tips of your fingers play with your folds for a moment, before dipping inside. You put your knee up on the bed, slowly bringing the other one up and when you start to crawl, he sounds hoarse and raspy through the phone. 

“Don’t”, he says, sounding desperate. “Bring me to bed with you.”

You wanted to give him a longer show than this, maybe make yourself come while on all fours, but you oblige. It’s his present after all. 

You climb into your bed, settling on your back and position the camera to the side of you, making sure you’re still in view. He can see the length of your torso, the rounded curves of your breasts, and your arms extended in a reach down between your legs, your hands out of sight. 

When your eyes flutter shut and you bite your lip with a gentle arch of your back, giving into your touch, he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters to himself, opening his pants wider with one hand while holding his phone with the other. It’s a fumble, his briefs tight against his skin, but when he finally pulls himself out, a soft sound catches deep in his throat. He shifts lower on the bed, lifting his hips to shove the band of his black briefs down to give himself more room and he tugs the hem of his shirt up, his eyes staying right on you, watching. 

His fingers are practiced in this hold, even more so since you’ve started coming around and though sometimes he uses the lube he has in the drawer beside his bed to give it an extra slip, he makes his palm work for him. Not as soft as your hand, but enough to get relief. 

And Jesus he needs it.

His fingers curl around his thick length, his eyes focused on the subtle sway of your breasts as  you move your hips in time with your hand. Your mouth is open, the memory of the sounds you make flooding through his mind and when he thinks about how wet you must be right now, he strokes himself tighter, faster. 

You were soaked when he slid into you, taking his cock effortlessly down to the base. He imagines the tight clutch of your cunt now, what your fingers must look like disappearing into it and when you jaw tenses on camera, another moan flexing from your taut throat, he needs to hear you; his cock stiff and aching. 

“Turn your sound on,” he groans quietly, the rhythmic, fast, audible sound of his fist working his cock in the background. “I wanna hear you when you come. Please.”

You nod, your back arching on the bed into your own touch before you reach for the camera to tap the button and when the first unfiltered sound of your moan breaks through, he squeezes his dick in order not to come. Not yet. He wants to see you do it. 

“Tell me,” he urges. “Tell me what you’re thinking about.”

“You,” you whimper, your hands just out of the frame as you work yourself higher and he doesn’t even care that he can’t see your cunt right now; the filthy image of your naked, writhing upper body and your open panting mouth more than enough. “About how you fill me up. About how I feel so full. About – oh god – about how you make me come with your mouth. I like when you fuck me with it.”

He wants to keep you talking and he wants to talk to you, but the walls in this house are thin and he tries to keep himself in check. The strain of his silence is evident in the clench of his jaw, the tautness of his neck and you glide your fingers faster over your clit, your thighs trying to shut around your hand. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” you pant, your cunt clenching around nothing as you feel the fluttering heat build between your legs. You’re so close. “Just – fuck, just watch me and show me. Show me, Ezra.”

You cry out for him when he shifts the view to his cock, the stiff, heavy length held tight in his grip as he strokes it faster for you and even more arousing is the peek of his belly above it, the dark curls around the base, the sounds he is making in the background: all heavy breathing, low grunts, barely there groans. 

You can feel his cock inside you, your fingers slipping in to replace the phantom weight of it and it’s not enough, not nearly enough to make you feel full like he does, but the sight of his fist working that cock is enough. 

“I’m gonna come,” you whine. “You’re gonna make me cum and I wish you were here. I wish –”

You don’t get the words out before you do it, your body arching in that familiar way he’s come to love and the sight of your open mouth and your pleading expression builds a tension filled warmth at the base of his spine, his balls drawing up so tight it almost hurts. It sounds like it hurts when he comes too, whimpers leaving your throat at the grainy, dim image of hot ropes of spend splashing on his skin. 

He keeps tugging every last drip out and your hands keep working as well, until he shifts the camera back to his face. 

“You –” his breathing is heavy, a sated smile slowly spreading. You grin at the peek of his dimples, wishing he were here so you could fit your thumb into one. “You’re so fucking amazing.”

You giggle, hiding your face after all you just did in full view and the sight of it makes him laugh quietly, the sound blending with yours. 

“I wish I was there to help clean you up,” you say sleepily, shifting onto your side and he groans, a huff of a laugh leaving him. 

“Don’t say stuff like that. You’re gonna make me hard again.”

You hum in contentment. “Yes please.” You look so warm and soft, your face relaxed and the image brings him back to your room, back to that afternoon you shared. His palm itches with wanting to touch your skin, knowing how soft it is. 

“You’re gonna kill me, Birdie,” he says, smiling at your proud expression. “I know it.”

[kyberphilosopher]

Smile

Word Count: 3467 Requested: yes. Based off ‘505′ Warnings: strong hints to sexual disposition. Spoilers if you squint.

“I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck... I did last time I checked.” -Arctic Monkeys, ‘505′.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

With hoarse breath and unwavering eyes, you look up to the stars as you speak. “So, you’re really going to do it then?”

“I have to,” you hear him say. His voice has gotten far more mature and calm since the first time you’d heard him speak. Still angry and determined, but in an intelligent, adult way. Eren is a more capable person now. The only thing left to do is wait and see if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing. 

“What do you think are the chances of winning?” you question. A shooting star whizzes across the sky at that very moment, and it’s gone before you can think of a wish. 

You turn around to face him, but his eyes are already on you. Once upon a time, Eren’s eyes were emerald and teal and deep. Now they’re paler. They are cold and steady as a byproduct of who he’s become. It’s hard not to wonder what he’s thinking about when he looks at you like this, especially since he’s become harder to read over the years.

At first, Eren was one of the most insufferable people you’d ever met. He acted out so often, it was hard to see him as another person of intelligent life. You mostly just minded your business through your cadet years, usually hanging around Reiner, who was also difficult to see as intelligent life. Sometimes you and Eren would argue, but it was never passionate. You just had different world views. 

Things got better when you found out what Eren really was. Since you hadn’t made top ten, you could only choose between the Garrison Regiment, or the Scout Regiment. And with Eren’s newly discovered power showing the promise of hope, you decided on the Scouts. He liked that. 

After that, it was hard not to mature at the same time as he. Eren often blamed himself for the death and carnage that surrounded the regiment. You were solely responsible for the passing of your best friend. And after everything that happened with the government, almost dying at Shiganshina- you knew you couldn’t stand this much longer. With your relationship with Eren still budding in its early and steamy stages, he was the only one you told of your desertion. You abandoned the corps, finding a small, abandoned farm within wall Maria to hide out in. 

Eren was too tired and sick of everything to think you were being cowardly. He wanted to leave too. Maybe come with you. But Eren had plans in the works that he couldn’t leave alone. He visited you less and less. Luckily you never made a fuss. 

And now Eren wants to end the world, to save the world. How does he expect you to react to this?

“I just thought I should see you,” Eren replies. You know he’s deflecting your question. You’re not stupid. 

You nod slowly, blinking as you think. “Am I going to die?”

Your companion crosses his arms calmly. “Yes,” he tells you. 

There it is. 

“You know I can’t support you in this, right?” you tell Eren, equally as calm. 

He only replies after a moment, also in deep thought. “I know.”

You look back up to the sky, sighing out through your nose. “Why did you come, Eren? Did you want me to tell you that I think you’re doing the right thing? Or was it because you need to let out some anger? I wonder.”

“I did want to see you.”

“Do you still?”

Silence. 

“Yes.”

“And I suppose there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“No.”

The stars are glittering with pastel hues, like a rainbow, or kaleidoscope. Each one is a different size, bordering on different shapes, all fusing and melting together like your idea of heaven. You can barely even see the midnight color of the sky through all them. It is beautiful, but it’s also bitter. Everything is bitter, here. 

“I didn’t make myself any dinner yet,” you say. “Couldn’t think of anything.”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

When she was alive, Eren’s mother would make a soup for the family. It was creamy, hot, filled with meat and cheese at the bottom. Eren never liked soup, but he did love that dish. She was always sure to make extra for him, so that he could enjoy it for several days. And although it wasn’t until after she was gone that Eren realized he rarely ever thanked her for it, it was still one of the warmest memories Eren had. 

He fills your wooden bowl with it, being awfully generous. He knows that even though you haven’t eaten much in the last few years, you too had grown fond of the soup. He knows no matter how slowly you force it down, you are enjoying it. It burns the roof of your mouth every time, but you’ve never cared. All that matters is the creamy sauce, and the cow cooked to perfection. 

You stare at the fireplace beside you, flames cackling and licking upward. Eren sets the bowl in front of you, and takes the seat on the other side. You know he sets his long hair behind his shoulders. You’re already prepared. From your pocket, you produce a stretchy brown hair tie on the verge of snapping, handing it to him. 

“Thanks,” he says, even though this routine has happened however many times he’s seen you. 

“You’re welcome.”

The soup is as amazing as usual. You’re willing to bet Eren makes it even better than his mother did, but you dare not say it aloud. It’s creamy, perfectly seasoned. It goes down your throat, still steaming. 

“Does Mikasa know about this?” you question, taking one more delicious bite. 

“No. None of them do,” Eren answers. “Armin will figure it out soon.”

“You want me to kill ‘em?”

Eren shakes his head. To a lot of people, this would be taken as a joke. But this is nowhere near it. Your tone is too casual, too low for it to be humor of any kind. And the way the man across from you reacts- he’s thinking the same thing. 

“No.”

“How are they, then?”

Eren thinks as he takes another bite, the warmth creeping up his chest sweetly. “They’re alright for now. I don’t know for how much longer. I can’t see everything.”

“Can you see who’s next?”

He squints at his bowl as if he were angry, but his eyebrows barely move. “Sasha.” 

Sasha. She was always a good presence to have around. While she seemed like the type of person who would annoy you, it was hard to hate her. And you admired her keen intuition anyway. 

“Will you give her something for me?”

Eren nods. Then you both go back to eating for a few seconds, basking in the orange glow from the flames. 

“How are things here?” he questions after a minute. 

“The same,” you tell him. “I think the cow might die soon.”

Some people might reply with condolences, or sympathy. But your lover does not, and you do not expect him to. “I’ll get you a new one,” he says flatly, almost like a promise. You nod once.

Despite the atmosphere which can only be described as bitter, you’re glad to see Eren again. You’re glad that he’s alive, and as alright as he can be. The bed is always colder without him, heated up only by your lingering fingers that you pretend are his every other night. Whenever he leaves an article of clothing behind, usually on purpose, you hold off on washing it so it can smell like him for you as long as possible. Then there are the hair ties you keep either in your pocket or on your wrist, specifically for him. The razors in your cabinet he often didn’t even bother using. 

Even with the sullen demeanor that had managed to overtake both of you, there was at least one thing you cared about in the world still. Maybe it wasn’t the most conventional kind of caring, or the healthiest coping mechanism. But it was still caring. And all that you cared about was him. 

You knew you weren’t Eren’s first priority. You were probably second, or third. It didn’t bother you. Eren’s head was one of the first things lost when the truth was presented to him. It came back coldly and sternly, in contrast to how previously hot and impatient it had been. But by then your head had also grown colder and sterner. In simpler terms, Eren did care for you. He did love you. But he would consider letting you die if it meant achieving what he set out to do, and you knew this. 

Across the table, Eren lifts his head to look up at you as he chews slowly. The burning meal slides down his throat easily, albeit painfully. It doesn’t even register with him, his piercing eyes slowly gaining a glint from the fire light. 

You meet his eyes after a few seconds, feeling them on you. You don’t say a word, don’t even give a questioning look. You just hold him patiently, which is something the two of you find yourself doing often. 

“You can’t stop it,” Eren speaks, looking you dead in the eyes with a steady gaze. There is love behind his eyes, far behind the anger, but you can tell from the tone of voice he is trying to tell you something as if it were an order. Your lips part slightly from the intensity radiating from your lover, who doesn’t move a muscle. “You’ll be free soon.” 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Dinner ends. Eren helps clean up the dishes for you and goes to get water from your well so you can clean easier. You already know from the way his thumb brushed against your own when you took the bowls that you’ll likely be bent over the sink in a few minutes, which you don’t mind, but you wonder if he’ll be willing to be softer than usual as an apology for what he’d said earlier. 

He’d meant to scare you. You’re intelligent enough to figure that out. Even though you don’t scare easy, and you didn’t even give an extreme reaction, the look in Eren’s eyes had made your heart drop to your stomach. Sometimes you forget that Eren sees everything. Then he says something like that to remind you in the most memorable way. 

The wooden door opens and closes behind you. Boots scuff the ground for a few seconds, drawing closer and closer as something in you sparks with anticipation, as it always does. A pail of water hits the surface beside you, partially sloshing over the sides, shining silver in the moonlight from the tall window in front of you. Finally, ultra hot hands slide around your waist and push gently but tightly against where your ribs diverge. 

A jaw leans down on your right shoulder, chin poking against your collarbone. Locks of hair brush against your own, just as the hand on the left runs across your side to finally put a small band in your pocket. 

“I did miss you,” Eren’s low voice seemingly growls, his chest rumbling softly against your back. 

“I was thinking about you,” you admit with monotone, knowing your lover can read through it like as easily as a knife slices through skin. 

“I hope I didn’t worry you,” he says, though you can also read through his own tone. He probably didn’t care about worrying you. He definitely doesn’t still. 

“You didn’t.”

You place a both bowls in the sink, running your fingers over the dirty spoons. Eren’s orbs follow your movement. You can feel his chin change positions ever so slightly in the coming seconds. 

“Can you pass me the rag?” you ask, eyes focused on a piece of food on the spoon that doesn’t even exist. 

In response, Eren doesn’t pass you anything. Only his right hand gives you any kind of acknowledgement, passing from on your ribs to down lower. His fingertips skin over the erogenous zone under the waistband of your undergarments. 

“I worried about you,” Eren murmurs boldly. The hot fingertips pass under the cloth finally, pricks of stubble on his jaw scratching your neck and shoulder as he shifts. “I wanted you to be okay.” His left hand raises to grasp the breast above it. Slowly at first, then firmly, like a warning. Everything is a warning with him. 

Your head lulls back uncontrollably. The back of your hair matts up as it rolls against his own shoulder. 

“I said you worried me,” your partner grumbles. “Did you hear me?”

“No,” you lie lowly, refusing to let your voice shake despite the shiver in your throat. 

“Mm,” Eren hums in condescending understanding. A force presses against your core, which has turned burning hot and ice cold at the same time. The force pulls away, a string of something smooth and slimy following it that makes a sound draw from your lips. It’s high pitched, weak, and unstoppable. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so associated with Eren. 

His hand gives your breast a firm squeeze, soreness blossoming from the center. Your back arches quickly and returns lax against him, though now something pokes against your bottom that makes your eyes pop open with a new alertness. Eren’s hand gives you no time again. From your chest, it flies to your throat, holding it back with soft strictness as the other finally dips into the hot pool between your hips. 

“I worried about you.”

A strangled groan releases from between your lips again, this time fully carried up through the air. To Eren, it must sound like nothing more than music, or background noise. 

Thick cylinders pump inside you to the knuckle. They feel better than your own. They always have. 

It feels good. Full. Tight and fast and like the inside of you is quivering under the weight of something that you can’t see or hear. Eren is like a blanket supporting you from falling over, keeping you upright with his grip and his fingers buried inside of you. Prodding every angle, every spot. Not necessarily romantically, but still lovingly. He has always had this goal during intimacy. Nothing matters but communicating to you just how close he wants to be. 

“Eren,” you choke, a dribble of spit sliding from the corner of your lips. 

“Again,” he hisses in response. His fingers hit a tight spot, making every muscle in your body clench at the same time. 

You don’t say another word, your mouth hanging partially open as you focus on everything around you. And it’s all Eren Jaeger. His smell, his growls, his voice, his breathing, his chest, his muscles, his hair, his anger, his bitterness, his intelligence, his determination. It’s overwhelming. It reminds you of getting swept in one of those waves at the ocean he described to you. He’s yours. No- more likely, you’re his. End of story. 

“I said again.”

“Eren,” you moan.  

His head nuzzles into your neck comfortingly, his fingers pushing faster and harder. You can feel how warm you are, never mind how slick. And the way your own body holds around his digits every time he pulls away is enough to make you all the more warm and slick. 

But then...

What is he doing?

He had said “you’ll be free soon”. And yet, here he is, gripping you tightly as he forces you into the corner of submitting. And yes, it is hot. It arouses you as it always has. But something about it makes your stomach turn into a knot of unpleasantness, in contrast to the other one of liquid pleasure. 

“Eren,” you strain, squirming against him. 

Eren speeds up again. A grunt falls from his own mouth from his own power, and you know he’s getting off almost as much as you are. It doesn’t stop feeling good. Feeling euphoric. 

It’s getting rougher. Rougher and harder and faster, more intense. 

“Eren.”

Another gruff moan from him. 

“Eren! Stop! Stop!”

Eren’s palm softens away at once. It lifts away, his eyes opening and his hand stilling inside of you. He watches you shake as you gaze up to the ceiling, wide eyed. Your thighs sputter, entire body twitching. You didn’t cum. 

His eyes trail over you. You’ve worked up a steady sweat glistening and glowing, shivering and shaking and quaking because of him in the best way. You’re his. His partner, his friend, his ally he knows for a fact he can rely on.

“C-can we... Eren...” 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Drips of water dribbling down Eren’s temple. One of your hands are threaded in his brunette locks, holding them back so you can have an uninterrupted view. The other hand is dabbing cloth against his forehead and hairline, bathing him softly. 

He’d gone a while without bathing again. You could tell. Eren’s eyes are glued to yours, deep teal memorizing all the flecks in your own as if he hadn’t a million times over. 

Eren loves you. Dearly. He’d travel all seven hours and forty five minutes just to tell you that. He doesn’t know what made you stop earlier. He doesn’t ask. But he’s not mad. Overall, Eren understands that it doesn’t matter what you asked to stop for. You give the word, he obeys. Not because he has to, but because he loves you. 

Still, he knows something is wrong. You don’t show it. You’re steady, calm, mature, apathetic as always. But in the pit of Eren’s stomach, something brews. A warm, strange feeling of intuition and omniscience. 

“You look very pretty today,” Eren ventures, wondering only of your response. “Did I tell you that?”

Your eyes squint. “Thank you,” you reply back. 

The cloth continues to rub against his skin, cleaning something that probably doesn’t even exist. Dirt, maybe. Eren’s stopped taking care of his skin in the past few years. 

“You’re welcome.”

Your eyes squint again. This time, they gloss over with sharp wetness like glass. The eyebrows crease like a break, your bottom lip trembling as you suck it between your teeth. 

He doesn’t know what he was expecting. But your lover wasn’t expecting this. 

Eren hates when you cry. He can remember the first time he’d seen it, but not the most recent. You didn’t cry often- you were strong. Crying over something as useless and flimsy as emotions didn’t seem worth it. So what was this for? What were you about to make Eren break down inside over?

Your hand falls limply from his forehead. Shoulders hunch over in defeat, staring down at the floor as your hair covers over your face. And then the sniffles come, choked out coughs like sobs. 

Eren can see the lightest of bruises he’d left on you from earlier, but you’d never had a problem with it before. No, it was something else. But what?

Silent, your teeth grit together as you wince, tears streaming down your face inexplicably. 

“Earlier w-when you,” you gulp, snot beginning to form, “when you- I did worry a-about you. I- I don’t know why I didn’t...”

You stumble forward. Eren stands from your bath tub to catch you as you slump against him tiredly. 

“I hate it when you go.”

Eren switches positions with you, pushing you down to sit on the edge of the tub. He takes the wet rag from your hand and holds your shoulder back so he can have a good look at you. Then the cloth dabs against your own forehead, just as you had done to him. 

“I hate it here,” you sigh, a single tear drop blurring your vision as it falls finally. 

Your lover moves the cloth from your head to your cheeks, smearing the wetness into your skin and away. They moisten and dry, your eyes red and shiny. Eren tilts your head up under your jaw, creasing his brows and using the towel to clean closer to your eyes. 

“If it helps,” he says, looking straight into your eyes, “you’re crying, but I still think you look pretty.”

You’d be lying if you said that didn’t help even a little, because you love him. 

A soft smile creeps to your lips, your hands dropping in between your thighs. 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

No I didn’t reread this lmfao enjoy. Hope I did you justice anon

[mihrunnisasultans]

Opinion on

Sah sultan? Her influence and power? how powerful do u think she was and if she stayed could she have defeated mihrimah? or hurrem?

I really loved Şah’s character. And I think her character gets frequently reduced in the fandom to being “badass” princess & her power fight with mostly Hürrem (also a bit of Mihrimah).

Yes, she’s the most ambitious and pragmatic of Suleiman’s sisters. I’d also say she had the most influence on Suleiman of them all, perhaps because she reminded him of their mother most and she never actually crossed him, which is why she absolutely could contest Mihrimah’s claims and continue the fight. However, she chose not to. I also elaborated on this issue earlier here.

All of Suleiman’s sisters try to replace their mother following Hafsa’s demise, as an upholder of harem order & protecting the dynasty. Hatice even invites Şah specifically so she can support her in this task, even despite the fact they weren’t the closest of sisters, such as she was with more maternal-like Beyhan. Still, of course Şah does not take a stand against Hürrem just because Hatice wants her to - first and foremost, those people do not live in vacuum and it’s implied Şah and Hürrem actually have met before. For several episodes Şah observes and assesses the situation carefully without taking any side openly and Ibrahim’s death is the moment she decides to act, even though her plans are still hidden because she has a long-term plan. Her method of working to remove Hürrem is very wise - she decides not to try to assassinate her, bring another woman or anything of this sort, but to make her fall permanently from Suleiman’s favour. And she also knows what is the only thing to make Suleiman cast Hürrem away - not her doing any harm to others or committing any crimes, but to hurt his ego and use his paranoia. If Hürrem had yielded and had crowned Bayezid (and Şah again did it so masterfully it was very believable Suleiman d worded), it would have been over. It’s the sort of thing Suleiman would never forgive Hürrem, probably the only one. Same with making H loans money from Venetians during war with them. /Big thanks to @mc-critical for our discussion on this topic some time ago :)/

Sah and Hatice’s relationship is very complicated - they are like polar opposites, with one being highly emotional, and the other very pragmatic and cold, but despite even Hürrem hoping for wedge between them and trying to put it between them - she cannot. Sah is very much concerned each time anything happens to Hatice and she is heartbroken seeing her pain following Ibrahim’s demise too. She promises Hatice she will help her in revenge “Because anyone who comes to their palace with blood and death, will leave with the same”. Their family got attacked and obviously subsequent actions of Hürrem against Mustafa only solidified their need to unite against her.

Sah also has her own ambitions, which I mentioned in the other post, but those are not only simply power oriented. She also desires to prove herself to her own family by being the one to neutralise Hürrem, which is why she has the arrogant attitude towards Hatice or Mahidevran. Unlike Fatma or Hatice, she actually abandoned hope for a fulfilling private life - she’s stuck in a marriage to a guy she does not respect, but she also knows she needs him for pragmatic reasons. The guy she clearly admired a lot married her sister, and even Suleiman & Hafsa showed their preference for sweet Hatice. She felt like her colder, more pragmatic personality was not appreciated enough by her closest. This is why she mocks others’ attempts to remove Hürrem and tries to paint herself as different. In a way it actually shows her inferiority complex & also desire to prove herself to others.

While Şah is deeply embittered by her marriage and does not actively search for love (like Hatice or Fatma), she has a close bond with her daughter (for whom she also sets aside her pride and asks Suleiman to spare Lütfi) & also is very concerned with spiritual matters. Of course providing money for religious establishments & building endeavours (which was done also by historical Sah) is also a way to gain influence, it’s clearly an area important to her also personally, which is why in the end she decides to live in one monasteries after her marriage falls apart and Hatice dies.

And it is a great ending to her arc IMO. She’s well aware that to have an influence as a princess, she should get married again to a prominent statesman, but she obviously does not desire another marriage after the last one ended so traumatically. Hatice took her own revenge herself before dying & it seemed that she was the one who neutralised Hürrem in her last desperate attempt. Suleiman is depressed and while she leaves Mercan to take care of him, idk whether she’s up to sitting with him and pretending she’s sorry Hürrem disappeared. Since Hürrem is gone, Rüstem is powerless and it seems like Mustafa does not need protection anymore.

Standing against Mihrimah would be for Sah a betrayal of her values - standing up against her own blood and dynasty, for what at this moment? Staying in the capital, where almost all her closest are gone? Power for the sake of empty power now?

Sah did never want any harm to come to Hürrem’s kids yet she already almost brought harm to her family inadvertently - she specifically instructed Nigar not to harm Mihrimah or her daughter, only Rüstem and Hürrem, yet the little one suffered most. It was against what Sah wanted or believed in. She fucked up big time here and she knows it. She almost brought harm to dynasty she aimed to protect. It’s not the age when Dilruba sets her nephews on fire - Hafsa’s daughters were brought with a strong sense of family and family loyalty, which is why as much as they did not like Hürrem, they did not treat her kids as enemies, but as their own blood.

Şah is a woman of action and she has no more work to do in the capital. She was always interested in supporting scholars & monasteries, so she chooses to be important & influential there. She’s disillusioned by all the power games in Topkapi & the futility of it. She again confides in Mercan she’s tired. Sah does have her limits, she does not intend to cause upheaval by going against the dynasty (represented by fellow member in Mihrimah) & now all she needs is finding peace & calm.

Could she rival Mihrimah? Mihrimah at that point was not at peak of her power - she was still a young girl and freshly married to Rüstem who had not yet become the Grand Vizier and with Hürrem gone lost a lot of his power. Mihrimah’s role has much more increased following her mother’s demise when she was left with the task to protect her brothers and to be her dad’s adviser and confidant. Upon  Rüstem’s demise (historically), she inherited his huge fortune, which helped her to maintain influential even though she was no longer married to a prominent statesman. Even though her relations with Selim were soured by her support for Bayezid, her brother needed her (or her money) very much once he ascended the throne. It’s truly when she was at the peak of her power - in early years of Selim’s reign, and again absence of Valide and Nurbanu needing time to build her own faction & network of power in capital also worked in her favour.

Princesses did not wield that much direct political influence usually, but Şah and Mihrimah were similar in that they found ways to yield some even without their statesman husbands they could influence. A bit of historical info to finish my musings:

Shah’s career as a sufi devotee began early, in Ioannina in western Greece, where she accompanied her husband Lutfi to his post as governor. There the princess became a lifelong follower of the popular sufi order of the Halvetis. Returning to Istanbul when Lutfi was promoted to vizier, Shah built the first of three mosques with an attached dervish lodge, this one for her Ioannina shaykh. The next lodge-mosque was dedicated in 1537 to the Halveti shaykh Merkez Efendi, who had recently become Shah’s new spiritual guide; the last was a memorial foundation erected after his death in 1552.

Source: Leslie Peirce, Empress of the East. How a European Slave Girl Became the Empress of the Ottoman Empire

Source: Necdet Sakaoğlu, Famous Ottoman Women 

 As we can see, Sah continued her construction & spiritual works following her divorce and moving out to live in a dervish lodge outside capital.

A bit about Mihrimah after Rüstem died (she was also aware how beneficial marrying a prominent statesman was because her proposal to Semiz Pasha was true also historically):

From this date on, Mihrimah lived as a widow until her death. In the beginning, Mihrimah was afraid that the political influence she had during her late husband's vizierate period would decrease after her husband's death. Indeed, according to the report of the Venetian bailor Daniele Barbarigo, she had proposed to Semiz Ali Pasha, who was the grand vizier after Rüstem Pasha's death, to marry him, but the Pasha refused the offer, saying that he was not thinking of marrying her. But Mihrimah continued to be politically influential as a widowed member of the dynasty.

Source: Zahit Atçıl, Ottoman Dynastic Marriage Politics and Mihrimah Sultan’s Marriage (translation mine)

And

However, Mihrümah, although now a widow after Rüstem’s death in 1561, still figured prominently in dynastic politics. To illustrate, she was privy to the fact that the royal treasury had been emptied by her father and carried to Hungary to wage the campaign, and she rushed to her brother’s aid, lending him the much-needed gold to cover the obligatory accession donatives. As such, Donini’s assessment and prediction concerning both Selim and Mihrümah’s future relations came true. The eventual return of Süleyman’s treasure to Istanbul, coupled with the pillaging of Chios under the command of Piyale Pasha, soon restored the solvency of the imperial treasury; but Selim remained forever grateful to Mihrümah for the aid she provided at a most critical time.

Source:  Pinar Kayaalp, The Empress Nurbanu and Ottoman Politics in the Sixteenth Century: Building the Atik Valide

[the-infamous-coat-of-baron-zemo]

Missed Opportunities | Helmut Zemo x Reader

Here's a little something I cooked up. Not sure what I want to do with it, but it was bugging me to be written. For better or worse.

This is a little Helmut Zemo/Female Reader moment. It has Sam and Bucky too. It's not fully developed, but hopefully you all can enjoy it for what it is.

OOOOO

You were in Germany when you got the call from Sam. He needed help locating the Flag-Smashers, and was hoping you could offer some assistance.

He just happened to call at the perfect time, because as it turns out, the person you went to visit was no longer around. So, since you had essentially made a trip across the ocean for nothing; you figured, why not? Might as well make something of your travels abroad and not make it a total loss.

Sam gave instructions to meet him at a residence in Riga, Latvia. He mentioned very little other than that. Technically though, that wasn't entirely his fault. You're pretty sure he intended to provide more information, but Bucky was shouting, "Hellos.", "You've been missed!", and her personal favorite, an exasperated, "Please save me from my tormentor."

After Bucky's outburst, Sam had seemed to have forgotten about you on the phone; so you were just listening to constant bickering in the background. All you could do was shake your head and laugh at this point. Truly, Earth's greatest defenders were simply children at times.

It was good to hear their laughs. It had been too long and the world was still recovering.

We all were.

Bucky, Sam, and you all disappeared when Thanos snapped his fingers, wiping out half the universe. When you all returned, there was love and there was loss all around, but it bonded the three of you in a friendship deeper than any of you could imagine.

Okay, perhaps, that's a slight exaggeration. You became extremely good friends with both James and Sam; however, the two of them are a different story altogether. They won't admit to their friendship, but you know they'll both come around one day. They're just being stubborn idiots. God, she missed those two guys. It's been months since she had laid eyes either one of them.

So, here you are, standing right out front the door Sam gave instructions to meet at.

You fiddled with the arm of the backpack strapped across your chest. You didn't think you'd be this nervous, but a combination of excitement and adrenaline had caused you to be a bit jumpy. You tried to shrug it off as you raised your hand to knock on the door.

Not even 10 seconds after you knocked on the door you heard the shuffle of footsteps, accompanied with the ever present response of, "I got it."

Only the footsteps halted abruptly and muffled discussions were faintly heard through the door. You couldn't make out what was being said, only that no further movement had been made to answer the door.

I swear to God, if they are simply having an argument about who gets to open the door, I am going to murder them both on the spot.

You were about to knock on the door again a bit more insistently, but you never got the chance as the door abruptly swung open to reveal Bucky.

As you stared back at one another, you couldn't help but noticed his tense appearance, which is not all that unusual for him, but it was a more strained posture. You assumed it had something to do with whatever was being talked about just moments prior to answering the door.

It couldn't have been too serious because seconds later he dropped all pretense and gave you a heartfelt smile before sweeping you up in his arms for a hug.

He all but dragged you inside, it only caused you to chuckle at his enthusiasm. Yeah, you had missed him a lot.

The hug continued to linger on, and you could hear the door behind you close. You were about to motion to Bucky to release you from his hold when you heard Sam pipe in highly amused, "Buck, give her some room to breath."

You could feel the glare James was giving Sam, but he did let you go eventually.

Upon the release from your hug, the sleeves of your blue hoodie had drifted past your hands; you pushed them up a bit where you could grab James's hand and squeeze it in silent thanks.

After letting go of Bucky, you turned around to face Sam, shaking your head and grinning at him with delight, "Never a dull moment around here is there?"

"Never," Sam replied. "It's my turn, now," holding his arms out, he smiled pulling you into a softer embrace, but no less enthusiastic.

You huffed out a laugh and hugged him back with equal fervor.

A few moments had passed, and you reluctantly untangled yourself from Sam. More pleasantries had been exchanged and small talk had filled up the space as you walked fully into open living space.

You did a turn about the room as you headed towards the kitchen area with the guys trailing behind you. You had grabbed the strap of your backpack and had lifted it over your head.

You were about to place your stuff on the kitchen island when you heard soft footfalls make their way from the outer hallway towards you.

The unexpected noise caused you to hesitate; you turned your head towards Sam and James with a puzzled expression on your face. You had opened your mouth with the intention to ask them who else was in the safe house with you, when you saw him.

The backpack you were holding had fallen out of your hands and onto the floor with a thud, but you couldn't tear your eyes off the man standing across the room from you now. Your face had gone completely slack jaw and eyes had widen in shock leaving you speechless.

You would normally have said something quippy in this moment, but your brain had stopped functioning.

The silence was finally broken from Sam's response to the situation.

"Okay, I know what this looks like. We can explain him," Sam cautiously said. "Actually, Bucky should be the one to share this story, since it was his idea."

You could hear the words Sam was saying, but they never really registered. You assumed he thought you were shocked because the man who stood in front of you once tore your friends a part. Because he was supposed to be in a prison in Germany. Any other number of reasons could potentially be listed. What Sam didn't realize, was that the man standing before you was the last person you saw before you disintegrated before his eyes, and this was the first time since that chaos you had seen him again.

Other than Sam's calm reply, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Perhaps it was because the same look of shock and awe was reflected on Zemo's face.

You tried to form a response, something, anything to say.

Neither Sam or Bucky knew you used to visit Zemo after he was imprisoned. Whenever you travelled to Germany, you would tell them you had a contact that only agreed to provide information face to face. They never put two and two together, but they also trusted you implicitly; so they had no reason to ever question your motives or who exactly you were going to see. You actually saw Zemo a fair amount of time. More often than not, it was always to learn about the inner workings of Hydra. While they may be diminished in capacity; they still had not been completely eradicated. And you were determined to locate and destroy every remaining Hydra base, and dismantle them once and for all. They took your parents from you, and you were going to make sure they couldn't hurt anyone ever again. So, Zemo had been the obvious choice to help gain as much information as possible in your quest.

So, over the course of 2 years, you had made several trips to see him. You could almost say you were on friendly terms, but mostly, you believed his kindness and willingness to provide information was a benefit to him. To interact with someone on the outside to remind him he's not completely alone in the world.

The last time you saw each other was a day like any other you would come to visit. You'd lean outside his glass cell and just talk. The prison only allotted an hour's visit. So you always had to make your time worth while.

This particular day was colder than usual for the time of year. And being left outside the prison hallway where Zemo's cell was located only caused the draft to further lower the temperature with the concrete walls. You had involuntarily shivered as a cold draft had blasted in from one of hallways. Zemo had taken notice and unzipped his hoodie, passing it off to the guard to hand over to you. In that moment, the realization came that things were no longer black and white between the two of you. When you asked him why, he simply shrugged and said it's what any gentleman should do. His expression had softened though and was no longer outwardly indifferent. You had put on the blue garment and zipped it up; tugging at the sleeves as the hoodie was much larger on your frame than his.

There was only about 30 minutes left of your visit when alarm bells started going off. Zemo had pushed himself against the glass to look down the closest hallway to try and see what was going on. You had tried to remain calm, but when the guard standing nearby had disappeared right in front of you both, you knew something was dreadfully wrong.

With visible panic on your face, you had whispered out the word Thanos to Zemo. You'll never forget what happened next or the expression on his face. There was a hitch in your lungs and a strong tugging sensation drifting through your chest. You stumbled into the glass and fell to your knees in front of Zemo. You had slumped onto your side trying to concentrate on what was happening to you. You peered up at Zemo as he had slid himself down the glass to your level gazing at you in concern. You could hear him shouting for help, but there was no one around. You placed your hand on the glass to get his attention, and only then did you realize, you had tears in your eyes.

He brought his hand up on the other side of the glass and placed it against where yours was. Funny how an instance can change everything between two people. You saw his eyes widen and that's when you noticed the right side of your body started to turn to dust. All you had time to say was, "I'm sorry," before you completely disintegrated before him, leaving him, no doubt, alone once again.

You would have laughed at the expression on his face now if you knew it hadn't been the first time he's seen you since....what happened. But there was nothing really funny about the situation.

You weren't quite sure what to do, but your feet made the decision for you as you slowly made your way to stand directly in front of Zemo.

It's the first time you've stood together without any glass between you both. He's a bit taller than you, but not by miles; you're chin roughly comes up to his shoulder.

You see him swallow as if he's also thinking of something to say, but instead you see him raise his hand up and start to reach out to touch you, but stops before actually doing it. Internally, you make your choice for him and reach up with your hand and grab the one he's left hanging in the air. It's just a light touch, almost as if you're both worried the other might not be real.

Zemo glanced down at you holding onto his hand and back at you briefly. He squeezed your hand gently and then you heard him release a harsh breath before gripping your hand tighter and yanking you into his arms.

You barely had time to think about what was happening before you were enveloped into the most emotional hug you've ever felt.

The reaction was unexpected, but then so were the circumstances you were in, so nothing should really surprise you, but you were. Your arms were slightly hovering over his back, not entirely sure at that moment what you wanted to do, as you were still in shock. But, after a brief pause you brought your arms firmly around his body and hugged Zemo back with just as much care and buried your face in the crook of his shoulder. You heard him mumbling words into the side of your head, but couldn't understand what he was really saying.

Time could have been standing still for the infinite period we were latched onto one another. It wasn't until the clearing of Bucky's throat that jarred us out of the moment. The noise wasn't loud, but the room had been so silent until then; it sounded like a freight train.

Realization must have hit us both at the same time that we weren't alone in the room, and we jumped apart as if lightning had struck us both.

At this point, you were looking at anything in room, but Zemo. You started playing with the ends of your sleeves in nervousness when Sam spoke up in a very slow and deliberate manner, "Would you care to explain to us, what is going on?"

"I thought you were going to have Bucky explain to me, why Zemo's not in prison!" you say back, not ready at all to try and explain things. You still needed to wrap your own head around it, before attempting to share your brief history with Zemo.

"Oh, no doll. This can wait," James answered. You could tell he was not happy, but maybe more confused than anything by how he responded.

Both were assessing Zemo to try and figure out if this is some sort of game to him. Bucky had reached out to grab your arm and pulled you gently away from the criminal mastermind and closer to them to instinctually protect you from him.

You outwardly sighed, knowing there was a long conversation about to happen.

Zemo took a step forward and James took a step back bringing you with him. Sam seemed perturbed over the entire situation, but Zemo spoke up first.

"Is that, what I think it is?" he said. Zemo cocked his head to the side and eyed you with amusement.

You silently shook off the hold Bucky has on you and raise an eyebrow at him to not try that again. You swiveled back to Zemo, placing your hands on your hips. Confusion was written clearly on your face as you answered him back, "Could you be a little less vague?" A small smile graced your face in reply.

Zemo pointed at your midsection and a smug expression appeared on his face.

"I must say, you look quite fetching in my clothes."

You were physically startled by his comment. You had forgotten you were wearing his hoodie. It's why you went to Germany. To return it to him, but when you found out he was no longer there, you realized you were going to have to either keep it permanently or track him down. Sam's call came in before you could make that decision. Fate really is something else.

Your hands grabbed the fabric of the hoodie as you closed your eyes and ducked your head. You could feel the embarrassment threatening to turn your whole face red.

You started to shuffled away knowing an immediate outburst was coming from both of her friends. What Zemo just said, implied so many different things. So, of course Sam and Bucky would start shouting without having any context to the situation of how you acquired a piece of his clothing.

If the floor could have opened up at that moment, you would have appreciated it.

Sam and Bucky were both visibly upset and clearly about to start a fight with Zemo, but thankfully Sam, being the more even tempered of the group, stopped Bucky from doing anything. He had shrugged off Sam and stared at you with hurt on his face.

You exhaled shakily as things started to calm down. You dared to catch a glimpse of Zemo, and of course, out of everyone here, he seemed to thoroughly enjoy causing the chaos he wrought with his sly comment.

If looks could kill, he would have been flayed alive.

"Enough," you said to everyone. It was time to clear the air. "Let's all just take a seat."

You had gotten exasperated by the entire situation and turned to Bucky and Sam, "Do you automatically have to jump to conclusions? Do you not think there is a perfectly logical explanation, somewhere?" You had slapped your hands down by your sides and turned to Zemo. He looked as if he were about to say something, but you cut him off pointing a finger at him.

"And you. Big trouble. Don't even get me started."

As you stared at Zemo; he at least had the decency to appear somewhat contrite at your scolding. You could still tell he was mildly amused about the whole situation.

You saw Sam had taken a seat and started to wave you over to where he and Bucky were.

"Start talking," he said.

"I'm not sure where to start," you answered, pacing back and forth.

"How about the beginning?" Bucky parroted out arms crossed in front of him, he was clearly still a bit defensive.

"The beginning. Right. Sure. I can do that," you stopped to think about how to start, but everything just seemed to be as if you were actually hiding something from them, when you weren't. It just never came up, and The Blip was emotional for everyone.

Truth be told, you would like to avoid this conversation at all costs. For many reasons, some you're not ready to deal with.

Zemo had spoke up while you were deciding how to broach the subject at hand.

"If I may," he spoke.

The three of us had answered him simultaneously, "No!"

Yeah, it was going to be a long day.

OOOOO

[madelion]

do you have any specific broadway frozen songs (or just frozen generally) you want specific characters to sing?

Oh I LOVE this question anon thank you

all of these are definitely gonna be biased/cater to who I want to play what role. we’re not gonna hEAVILY analyze why I want characters to play what part (some will be obvious 🤪) and how it works with the plot this is just what I want for fun BDHSNSJW

also I’m sOLELY going off the broadway soundtrack for this. and I do go off on a bit of a tangent in some of these points so enjoy the ride.

- Kourtney to sing Let it Go/basically any of the Elsa songs. I want her to be Elsa so bad okay her voice would just be GORGEOUS for Elsa’s songs

- i wanted Seb or big red to be olaf ,,, but with the cast stuff right now I’m not sure if that’s gonna happen so that’s :(((

- gIVE ME EJ AND GINA SINGING WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE NEJNKWKWKW I just think it’d be so fun to see them play out Kristoff and Anna’s dynamic okay,,,

- side note,,, let’s say ej is Kristoff,,,, I want Ricky as sven PFTTTTTT i think that dynamic would be hilarious okay like obviously ricky would hATE IT especially with Ej talking for him but i feel like it could even delve into that friendship a bit more outside of the roles

- because love is an open door is dubbed a “villain” song nowadays,, it feels like a fun song they could use for auditions? kind of how they used Belle which I know is more of an ensemble song, so they cOULD use for the first time in forever but if my wishes of Kourtney as Elsa and Gina as Anna come true,,, I wanna see my girls singing it okay

- I have seen some people talk about Lily singing monster and,,, I will admit I am intrigued by it

- MY. NUMBER. ONE. REQUEST: I DO NOT CARE IF EJ IS OR IS NOT KRISTOFF. MY MAN NEEDS TO SING KRISTOFF’S LULLABY OKAY??? THE LYRICS PERFECTLYYYYYYY FIT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH GINA AND HIS FEELINGS TOWARDS HER,,, HE DOESNT NEED TO SING IT AS KRISTOFF. I JUST NEED HIM TO SING IT ABOUT GINA. LIKE JUST PICTURING HIM START TO REALIZE THAT HES FALLING IN LOVE WITH GINA AND THAT ITS OBVIOUSLY DIFFERENT FROM PAST RELATIONSHIPS CUZ THOSE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SURFACE LEVEL AND HES JUST SO SCARED ABOUT IT AND COMING TO TERMS WITH THIS “NEW” FEELING. (I personally don’t want him to sing it directly to Gina. if anything he can be far away ~fondly looking at her from a distance~ But I think directly to Gina could be cheesy,,,) i have so many feelings about this and I’m gonna stop here ,,, I just need it

- I genuinely want to see the entire cast perform colder by the minute. This sequence gives me CHILLS (lol). its just done so beautifully on stage and out of every performance they could possible show, this is one of the main ones I NEED to see them perform on stage. tHIS IS A MUST.

- I would love to see a rendition of “everything falls apart“ which is an outtake song on the broadway soundtrack but it’s one of my favorites and I just think it’s so funny and fits these overly dramatic theater kids okay.

- nOW,, iF RICKY ISNT SVEN,,, I THINK HE WOULD MAKE A GREAT HANS. Originally I wanted HOWIE to be hans but idek if he’s coming back so,,, I’ll give that to Ricky too. and ugh Han’s voice in the broadway soundtrack,,, makes me ignore all of hans wrongdoings cuz that man has a gorgeous voice 🥱 LOL so ricky singing hans of the southern isles (reprise) iLL TAKE IT (but my man has been a lead role for two shows now let him be a reindeer just so I can laugh at him)

- fixer upper is another song I would love to see be done on the stage. ALSO. JULIA’S teAL HAIR RECENTLY,,, gAVE ME MOMMA TROLL VIBES,,, and she plays a big part in this segment of the broadway version soooooooooooo. this sequence would be fun ESPECIALLY if we get Ashlyn, EJ, and Gina in it okay. this would also be a fun “rehearsal” segment too.

- now that I’m looking at this I think I would just love to see the last half of the musical be done on stage. I’m sure we’ll either get the overall thing, or bits and pieces, but if I had to pick I would VERY QUICKLY CHOOSE ACT 2 OVER ACT 1. I just want the finale BDJSNSJSNS BECAUSE GOD THE HARMONIES????

please if you guys haven’t listened to the broadway soundtrack I am BEGGING YOU TO GO DO THAT OKAY. IT IS SO GORGEOUS AND ITS SO FUN TO PICTURE THE CHARACTERS IN THEIR ROLES.

but also this is why I’m so glad they’re doing frozen for the musical instead of camp rock (from what we know at least) like I’m sorry the music is fine in camp rock but the absolute chills I get from frozen’s soundtrack is going to outweigh camp rock any day .

anywho sorry that this was a long winded response anon I just had so much fun writing it and I hOPE YOU ENDED UP FINISHING IT LOL

[yo-anna0315]

Stsg touch starvation HCs

Back at it with my touch starved headcanons.  Don’t mind me, I’m just taking seventeen hot showers

Thanks to my eyes being opened, for this purpose we’ll say Shibuya happened but Suguru broke free *the whump that comes with mind control is delightful* but it still took Suguru a while to fully gain control and release Satoru.

Satoru comes out of his prison and he is a special grade MESS.  He’s pissed off, and shaky, and fragile, and his bf is alive, and Nanami is dead, and Masamichi is dead, and his students are targeted and everything is painful.  The higher ups want him gone, they want Suguru gone, they want itadori gone.  

He wasn’t the strongest.  He let the world down, and the few people he cared about, well he failed them too.  *imagine the identity crisis*

Because of that, he loses control of Infinity.  Not that he can’t activate it, but that he can’t deactivate it.  Or he’s too unstable to remember how to lower his guard and metaphorically/literally open up.  

However, the longer he goes without grounding touch, the more it morphs into something like touch aversion.  It’s frustrating because he remembers a time, not so long ago, where he thrived on touch.  

Especially around Suguru.  Suguru is BACK.  And he can’t even lower Infinity for Suguru at the moment.  Which has never happened before.  

Speaking of Suguru.  He can’t even feel comfortable in his own body.  The scars mark his forehead.  *Can shoko heal scars?  Would she have to cut it open and then heal it?* 

Suguru doesn’t know why Satoru is protecting him.  But he also doesn’t know why Satoru can’t stand being anywhere near his vicinity.  He wrongly assumes it’s because Satoru is repulsed by him.  

Suguru doesn’t like touch, because he feels unworthy of it.  Instead of being repulsed by others touching him, he’s repulsed by his touch tainting others.  

In the beginning, he tried to touch Satoru, until he recognized the Infinity between them and it made him feel so cold.  Satoru, the one person who’s protecting him from the outside world, doesn’t trust him.  

There is no way the jujutsu society has any form of therapy.  Yikes.

I think recovery starts with a really big blowout argument.  

The argument takes weeks to build up.  Satoru and Suguru share an apartment and a room but separate beds because they’re both targeted by the higher ups *those goddamn higher ups*

Sharing space with someone when you can’t/don’t want to touch them but you still miss what you had is not easy.  

It starts with Suguru accidentally bumping into Infinity and Satoru startling away from him.  That turns into Suguru questioning why the fuck Satoru keeps him around.  Satoru doesn’t understand why Suguru thinks he wouldn’t.  

Suguru thinks Satoru is pitying him and he doesn’t need pity even though he thinks he’s pretty fucking pathetic.  He’s like I’m not mad that you’re protecting yourself from me but what the fuck am I doing here then

Satoru thinks Suguru doesn’t want anything to do with him, and he doesn’t know how to approach Suguru, because he’s still trying to work through Infinity.  He tries to explain that it’s not pity, but it’s hard to make that point when Infinity is literally growing stronger between them.  

It takes a really really long time, but they get around to making their points.  Suguru feels alienated in his own body and feels undeserving of any redemption.  Satoru needs to come to terms with his strength and needs to relearn the good side of vulnerability.  

The first time Satoru manages to bring down Infinity since breaking out is actually with Megumi.  He breaks down in tears because FINALLY.  Megum is thrown but hey the guy’s been through a LOT

On the other side of things, Suguru actually gets along with Itadori because they can bond over being vessels for greater evils.

Don’t you just love parallels.

Infinity doesn't feel like anything to Satoru except cold.  He doesn’t feel the wind, so he doesn’t feel sunlight, which means he doesn’t feel warmth.  To outsiders, Infinity feels like an invisible gel that gets colder the further you go. 

When Satoru feels safe enough, he doesn’t drop Infinity but he extends the barrier to Suguru.  That way he can still have his barrier up, but he won’t be touch starved or cold because he has Suguru.  It’s a stepping stone to returning to normalcy.

Suguru on the other hand, gets the comfort of finally being able to feel Satoru and knowing that Satoru isn’t just stringing him along for pity.