#In or out of game I'm so curious
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Hinted at Zenyatta lore that makes me go rabid
#Overwatch#Zenyatta#Ramattra#Reflections#I feel like I feel like I FEEL LIKE these are story boards for a cinematic we haven't seen in full yet#They had some high quality concept art of Pre-Shimbali Zen like#I FEEL LIKE we're gonna get more on this like a LOT more#At LEAST another video#In or out of game I'm so curious#I want to know what happened where did Zen come from who was he before Ramattra before the Shimbali before he almost died#you know I haven't reblogged it in a long time but y'all know that character analysis about how weakily built Zenyatta is#what if what if what if what if#that's all that's really left of him after this#He wasn't BUILT poorly he was beaten to near death and lost a lot of him armoring#That's why he's so much smaller than other Omnics with so much more exposed wiring and joints#Y'ALL#LISTEN LOOK LOOK LISTEN TO ME#jkgfdjgkdfkjgjkfd#shaking shaking I want to see it I want to see the Zenyatta backstory I wish to know it all
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Okay. I've been playing Tokyo Debunker today, since the release happened to catch me on a day when all I'd planned to do was write fanfiction. I just finished reading the game story prologue (it was longer than expected!), so here's a review type post. If you're reading this post not having seen a single thing about this game: it's a story-based joseimuke gacha mobile game that just released globally today. It's about a girl who suddenly finds herself attending a magic school and mingling with elite, superhuman students known as ghouls. If you look in the tumblr tag for the game you'll see what appears to be a completely different game from 2019 or so: they retooled it completely midway through development, changing just about everything about it due to "escalating competition within the gaming industry."
I'll talk about how this looks like a blatant twst clone at the end.
Starting with the positive: The story is charming. I enjoyed it thoroughly the entire time and am excited to read more. The mix between visual novel segments and motion comics was really nice--it broke things up and added a lot of oomph to the action or atmospheric scenes that visual novels generally lack. I like the art in the comic parts a lot. the live2d in the visual novel parts is... passable. Tone-wise, I think the story was a little bit all over the place and would like to see more of the horror that it opened on, but I didn't mind the comedic direction it went in either. The translation is completely seamless. The characters so far all have unique voices and are just super fun and cute. Of the ones who've had larger roles in the story so far, there's not a single one I dislike. It's all fully voiced in Japanese and the acting is solid. (I don't recognize any voices, and can't seem to find any seiyuu credits, so it seems they're not big names, but they deliver nonetheless.) Kaito in particular I found I was laughing at his lines a ton, both the voicing and the writing.
He's looking for a girlfriend btw. Spreading the word.
The problem is like. The gameplay is the worst dark-pattern microtransaction-riddled bullshit I've ever seen. Hundred passive timers going at all times. Fifty different item-currencies. Trying to get you to spend absurd amounts of real world money at every turn. There's like five different indicators that take you to various real-money shop items that I don't know how to dismiss the indicator, I guess you just have to spend money, wtaf. Bajillion different interlocking systems mean you have zero sense of relative value of all the different item-currencies. I did over the course of the day get enough diamonds for one ten-pull, which I haven't used yet. Buying enough diamonds for a ten-pull costs a bit under $60 (presumably USD, but there's a chance the interface is automatically making that CAD for me--not gonna spend the money to check lmfao), with an SSR rate of 1%. BULLSHIIIIIT.
There's like a goddamn thousand-word essay explaining the dozen different types of character upgrades and equippables and equippables for the equippables!! Bad! Bad game design! That's just overcomplicating bullshit to trick people into thinking they're doing something other than clicking button to make number go up! That is not gameplay!
In terms of the actual gameplay, there is none. The battle system is full auto. There might be teambuilding, but from what I've seen so far, most of that consists of hoping you pull good cards from gacha and then clicking button to make number go up. There's occasional rhythm segments but there's no original music, it's just remixes of public domain classical music lmao. I'd describe the rhythm gameplay as "at least more engaging than twisted wonderland's," which is not a high bar
At least there's a cat in the rhythm bit.
And like, ok, I gotta remark on how derivative it is. Like I mentioned in my post earlier, this game is unabashedly aping twisted wonderland's setting and aesthetic. (That said, most of the stuff it steals from twst is magic school stuff that twst also basically stole from Harry Potter, so...?) However, it isn't exactly like twst: in this one, the characters say fuck a lot and bleed all over the place and do violence. Basically, the tone is a fair bit more adult than twst's kid-friendly vibe. (Not, like, adult adult, and I probably wouldn't even call it dark--it's still rated Teen lol. Just more adult than twst.)
Rather than just being students at magic school, the ghouls also go out into the mundane world to go on missions where they fight and investigate monsters and cryptids. Honestly, the magic school setting feels pretty tacked-on. The things that are enjoyable about this would've been just as enjoyable in about any other setting--you can tell this whole aspect was a late trend-chasing addition, lmao. So, yeah, it's blatantly copying twst to try to steal some players, but... Eh, I found myself not caring that much. Someone more (or less) into twst than me may find it grating.
Character-wise, eh, sure, yeah, they're a bit derivative in that aspect too, but it's a joseimuke game, the characters are always derivative. Thus far the writing & execution has been solid enough that I didn't care if they were tropey. If I were to compare it to something else, I'd say the relationship between the protagonist and the ghouls feels more like that of the sage and wizards in mahoyaku than anything from twst. There's some mystery in exactly what "ghouls" are and their place in this world that has me intrigued and wanting to know more about this setting and how each of the characters feels about it. I have a bad habit of getting my hopes up for stories that put big ideas on the table and then being disappointed when they don't follow through in a way that lives up to my expectations, though.
So, my final verdict: I kind of just hope someone uploads all the story segments right onto youtube so nobody has to deal with the dogshit predatory game to get the genuinely decent story lol. Give it a play just for the story if you have faith in your ability to resist dark patterns. Avoid at all costs if you know you're vulnerable to gacha, microtransactions, or timesinks.
#suchobabbles#Tokyo Debunker#it's a global simultaneous release so I'm curious to see how it ends up doing in Japan#it's gonna be competing directly with stellarium of the fragile star which releases in a few days lmao. and is about a magic alchemy school#looks like the two games twt accounts have a similar number of followers#and then theyre competing with bremai releasing in may...#also adding this at the very end since i cant confirm anything:#but i found out abt this game bc it was rt'd by the former localization director/translator of A3en#i dont know if she worked on it or maybe her friend or maybe shes just hype! who knows! but i think her word (or rt) is worth something
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😆💥 DUDE! Me and my brother were just reminiscing about Peter Piper's and their games and stuff. I was talking about the weird game they had about animatronic jungle animals. I think it was like a hunting game; it was hard to figure out if you shot the animal or not.🤖🙉
He said he couldn't remember, as did my other siblings. So I sketched the doodle of the arcade game I was talking about.
Me and my brother were the only ones who were crazy curious about what the game was called, but we couldn't find any traces of that game or even its name.
My brother gave me the idea to clean up the sketch a little and post it to see if anyone remembers this creepy game. As a kid, I thought it was kind of awesome, though.
😫If anyone has the slightest clue as to what this game is called, please tell us. My brother is going crazy trying to figure out what this game is called, and I'm trying to doodle it as best as I can remember.
😆I'm totally going crazy trying to remember this damn game.🐵🐍🦎🌴🌿 LMAO!
#Peter Piper pizza#doddle#old animatronic game#Peter Piper Pizza game#I'm going Crazy!!!🙉💫#please help us we're so damn curious!!!😵����🤯#🎮does anyone remember this game???#😆me and my bro would totally appreciated 😫#spread the image as far as you can! better chance of someone figure out what this game is called.
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𝒔𝒐𝒘 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒚
sequel to eyes of the ranger
pairing: boothill x gn!ex-undertaker!reader
genres: western!au, angst, domestic fluff, bits of hurt/comfort
word count: 8.6k
warnings: spoilers for boothill's backstory, death, heavy angst, explorations of grief, gun violence, blood, implied suicidal thoughts, unhealthy coping mechanisms
notes: I've only seen the bare minimum of his story leaks, and they've been spinning around my head ever since. Some details of the timeline might be tweaked, or imagined/added, but that's just for the au. Still, please enjoy this sequel, and what more I've added to this world! Here's some flowers again :) 💐
Read it on ao3!
~~~
Candles cast their glow brightly across wood panels as you hummed a lilting melody. Hands played with your hair, tugging on the strands to draw your attention away from the swirling pot of stew.
“Papa?"
"He'll be back soon, sweetie."
Your daughter shifted on your arm as you placed the spoon back in its resting spot. Her head fell against your shoulder, no doubt growing bored as crackles of fire echoed across the cabin.
You resumed the tune, bouncing slightly from side to side. She perked up once more as you took her hand over your first two fingers, thumb covering its small size. Her eyes began to crinkle as her first few teeth were revealed by a smile. She always loved dancing and music, likely because of her "silly papa".
When he left for town in the afternoon, he tripped over the porch's last step – on purpose, you suspected. She quickly laughed from where she sat with you in the rocking chair, calling him the nickname as he straightened up again. In just a couple strides he was back in front of you, fingertip meeting her nose before she swatted at him. He chuckled, leaving another kiss on both of your foreheads and embarking again.
As you gently spun, her gaze drifted to the window. She lit up, brighter than any heavenly body, and pointed to the door.
"Papa! Papa!"
The sound of approaching hooves met your ears softly, leading you to peer through the glass panes. Unfortunately, your vision was greeted by the furthest people from Boothill.
The National Hunter's Agency had grown to infamy everywhere you went. They had been given many pardons, and bought off plenty of sheriffs and their higher-ups to be able to operate as they pleased in numerous states. It seems now, after two years, they had caught wind of your bounty and wanted to cash in.
You carefully set her down on the floor, hands staying at her sides in case she lost balance. With some support, you walked her to your shared bedroom, guiding her to hide in your shaker wardrobe.
An anxious hand rotated the knob on the front door, leaving you face to face with a row of five men. Two in suits at the center, and three dressed more rugged at their side.
"Good evening." one greeted, smoke flowing from his mouth. "I assume you know why we're here."
The reverberations of your boots ceased before the steps as you stared at the lineup. "Naturally."
He hummed, throwing the remains of his cigarette to the dirt.
The agent at his right spoke up, "Why don't you walk down here, then."
“Isn’t it your job to capture me?”
“Continue resisting and you don’t have to be the only one we take.”
Your resolution faltered, and the hunters closed in. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”
“Are you sure?”
Glass shattered behind you, followed by heavy thumping. Tendrils of dread inched in, their freeze creeping over your bones.
“Step down.”
Despite every instinct screaming for you to move, to follow their commands, denial and fear kept you in place.
“You’ve got about one minute before we force you to.”
A glaze fell over your surroundings, the situation tumbling to the wayside as your thoughts and blood rushed in unison. It was five against one, and each of them were armed – you were not. They had more information than they were letting on. Someone was searching the cabin for your daughter, likely their sixth. She would be weaponized if she was caught, stuck in the crossfire of your bounty.
Was there a way out of this? To prevent what seemed increasingly inevitable?
Well, yes. You could give yourself up.
But there was no guarantee of her safety afterward, or that you would remain alive.
Still, you and Boothill had made a promise when you first took her in, just one year ago. If danger ever presented itself, you would lay down your lives to protect her.
One of the hunters drew his pistol as your boot hit the first step.
Another dismounted, his dirtied white shirt twisting, then straightening once more as he approached you. A rough grip captured your arms, dragging them behind your back. Something hard hit the ground at your right, a rope thrown by one of his partners. It was wrapped and tied around your wrists, the friction beginning to cast a light burning sensation over the skin.
A foot met the back of your knees as he tightened the restraints, dust rising at the impact. One of the agents joined you, the scent of smoke lingering on his fingers as he brought your head up to meet his eyes. They returned to his side a moment later as his gaze turned to the cabin.
A hunter had your little girl in his grasp, her steps short, frightened, and struggling as she was led down the stairs. She looked at you, searching for answers or what to do.
The saddled agent’s voice sounded from behind, “The NHA seeks to rid these ranges of their impurities. When you wish to uproot an evil such as yourself, no trace must remain.”
He gestured toward the four hunters, and his fellow agent disappeared from your view.
Then the brutality they were known for reared its unforgettable head.
The low flat heel of a dress shoe met your back, staying there as you writhed on the ground, watching up at your daughter.
A metallic barrel crept to the rear of her head.
The tendrils of dread became horrible claws, sinking into every organ and twisting.
Warm ruby droplets cascaded over pale brown and flesh, as the shot’s echo dulled your senses and her body crumbled to the ground.
The claws dug open a void as a defeated cry exit your lips. You were released from under the agent’s foot, flipped over to stare at the cloud-stricken dusk. Voices yelled around you, the words fading into one persistent cacophony. A hand pressed itself down onto your shoulder, before a pain blossomed in the other. A rugged face peered down at you, contempt rising in their features. A new flower of sharp ache grew in your left thigh, tears finally stinging at your eyes.
A fresh splattering of blood flowed over your face, shocking you out of despair. Their body went limp over yours, and you quickly brushed them to the side. Now free from the hunter’s reach, you sunk your hands into the dirt beside you, slowly turning yourself back to your stomach. The hilt of a knife hit the ground as you did so, veins coming alight with panic from its twist in your wound.
Despite every injury, you only had one focus – to see your daughter one last time.
Sharp gravel digged uncomfortably underneath your legs as your restrained hands inched forward. Blood thrummed in your ears, yet the unmistakable sound of gunshots broke through. Within a matter of seconds someone rushed to your crawling form. They called for you, voice breaking at the scene as a hand brushed through your hair.
“Darlin’?”
Your head rose at every emotion kept within that one word, asked by a husky voice you could find in any darkness. Anguish cast itself over his face when he finally saw what you were headed toward. He sank to his knees next to you, a wrecked sob reaching into the evening only to be greeted by no comfort.
Reluctantly, you gazed at your daughter’s corpse, journeying silently past Boothill to finally touch her.
A sticky scarlet liquid mocked you, revealing your sorrow-stricken features coated in its kind within the pool. Your fingers rose to her, a warmth lingering below as she was turned. You summoned any last inkling of strength you had, smiling down to her and speaking softly.
“You were my pride and joy, sweetheart. I’ve had no greater honor than being your parent.”
You leaned down, a soft kiss landing on her forehead before you cried a chant of apologies. When any words you could conjure finally entered oblivion, your eyes looked back to Boothill. He hadn’t moved an inch, rendered paralyzed by the gravity of what he arrived home to. It seemed as though he had been ripped apart, every wire inside of him fraying.
This was your fault, and you were sure he knew that too.
Regret became a well in your heart, rising from the depths and overflowing onto its dying grass. Your head ached, thoughts swirling until each one sinked in grief’s whirlpool. In resignation, you lie beside her, holding her chilled hands between your fingers. If you closed your eyes, you could still see her smile as you danced making dinner.
It would feel best if you never opened them again, but you couldn’t leave Boothill to carry this weight alone. He didn’t deserve such a fate.
A hand swiped over your stained cheek, drawing you back to miserable reality. Tears descended from silver, embers kindling beneath their despair. You lifted your hands from hers, closing her lifeless eyes. Boothill’s hat rested at his chest, head downturned from where he knelt.
Together, you mourned.
—
PART I - Fatherhood And Other Dreams
"Papa! The moo-moos!"
"I see them!" Boothill chuckled, watching a finger point at their pasture.
Rena wriggled against his side, wanting to move closer to them. He complied, jogging to the wooden fence as she smiled.
Her small hands reached past the log fence, petting along one of the cow's heads as it grazed. She had such an affinity for the animals here, something you always joked she got from him.
Every morning like clockwork, she would point them out, longing to go and sit with them for a while. He would join her, occasionally teaching her things about their diets or hair as she would get close and stare into their big brown eyes.
Today she angled back against his leg and smiled at her altered reflection in them, before you tousled her growing hair. He hadn’t heard you approach, too absorbed in the scene to hear your boots kick up dust. His hand rose to rub against the back of your neck as you leaned into him, sipping on your mug of black coffee.
He had noticed your odd positioning on the pillow, no doubt leaving you with some pains when you woke. Quiet snores filled the room; something he would laugh with Rena about, her high-pitched giggles overtaking the silence of the night as her hands pat against your cheeks. Your light snoring would cease, and your face would scrunch up at the unexpected disturbance before you recognized the poking of your daughter. He watched as you tickled the side of her neck, placing a hand on her back when she fell on your chest and wiggled around in joy.
He’s never felt more love than in those little moments, witnessing his entire world as two shining stars amidst the murky midnight.
“In!”
“Brush first?”
“Yeah!”
He was brought back to you after a quick shake of his head, two gazes of the same color waiting for him. One enthusiastic, the other fond and patient as he bent down to pick up Rena. She played with his low braided hair, pulling a few small strands free. You ventured to the stables, likely fetching a brush that she had dropped on one of the chairs yesterday.
The grass was fresh with dew, shining under the morning rays. He opened the gate with ease, feeling a breeze run over his cheeks as he shut it behind him. The pasture was wide, yet filled with only ten cows. Each one would be brushed daily by Rena, starting with one patterned in brown and white. It was an activity she had adored since the first time you had brought her out to help just a couple months ago. Seeing how much she enjoyed it, he joined the two of you only a week later.
You came to his side, handing the brush over to her as you sipped on your coffee. He gestured at you with his chin as bristles met little hairs. With a smile, you turned the mug in his direction, a warm and bitter liquid flowing over his tongue.
A gentle laugh left your lips when the cow’s head moved, rising up into the brush and slightly twisting into it. Rena turned to you, beaming as she moved the brush to another spot. The cow reacted in turn, and you laughed again.
~
The wood ceiling of the barn came into view as Boothill’s head was tugged backward. A light chuckle echoed through the space, falling in time with the noon bird's chirp. His hat tumbled to the hay and dust riddled floor, yet it didn’t remain for long. Little hands left the ends of his hair, snatching the hat instead. He watched, bale in hand, as you scooped up Rena. In a swift motion, you placed his hat on her head, one arm wrapped around your neck and the other reaching for the large brim.
The bale crashed onto the floor, beginning a new stack by one of the stables. The sound brought Rena's attention to him, her head tilting backward to spot him from underneath the hat.
“Like papa!”
“You wanna be like him?"
"Yeah!"
"Then we're gonna have a lot to teach you."
He grinned, the brightness of the sun’s rays and his daughter’s admiration seeping into his smile. With her now distracted by one of the horses, he wrapped an arm around your waist, leaving a kiss on your lips before continuing his work.
~
The orange and golden rays of sunset beckoned your gaze to the large window overlooking the front porch. Rena slept peacefully on your chest, a combination of a full stomach and boredom likely the cause. You brought the book in your right hand to the other supporting her, flipping the page carefully.
The slow thumping of boots echoed through the door, prompting Rena to stir. She had always been a light sleeper, though she didn't always fully awaken. It seemed that this evening she would, leaning backward into your hand as the door opened. Boothill's figure emerged, lit by the bright horizon. She shuffled as her eyes opened to meet his, slowly laying further backward against your hand. Letting the leather-bound book fall from your lap, you wrapped both hands around her. She whined, leading one of your brows to raise.
Boothill inched closer, stopping at the edge of the rug in your little living area. You set Rena down, your hands staying at her sides. She watched the floor intently, gaze shifting between it and her papa. Quickly you picked up on her intentions, standing behind her and holding her hands just above her head.
Her foot moved forward slightly, and excitement blossomed on both your and Boothill's faces. He knelt down, holding his arms out for her. Feeling encouraged, she moved faster, taking her first few steps with your support. When she finally reached her papa, he lifted her up, cheering at her along with you. She beamed, her feet kicking back and forth in the air as she giggled.
~
The stars twinkled in the growing twilight, contrasting with the auburn and violet hues on the horizon. Cool grass stood between your fingers, the tranquility of the coming night bleeding into your spirit. The hill provided a lovely view of the valley below as crickets began to chirp. A thin herd of deer moved like whispers just a few feet before you.
One startled in your direction, the sound of Rena picking at strings increasing its paranoia. She was transfixed by the instrument, plucking as she sat in Boothill’s lap. His affectionate gaze watched down at her, adjusting the blanket over her legs.
There were many nights over the past few days you would wake to find Boothill absent from your bed. Rena would stir at your side, face scrunching further into the pillow as she murmured. After returning her stuffed bear from the other side of the bed, you would walk to find him at the kitchen table. The fire lit various scenes; some filled with brushes and varnish, others with whittling tools and etched knobs. Sometimes he would be passed out against the table, shavings coating his cheek. He wanted to complete the gift as soon as possible, his wish of sharing and passing on melodies and lyrics from his life fueling his craft.
Feeling fingers brush through his hair, Boothill would awaken to your soft gaze. Wordlessly you wiped his cheek, taking his hand in yours and bringing him to bed.
Gentle singing met your ears, skilled strumming of a guitar accompanying it. One large hand shifted up and down the strings, holding, shaking, and lifting to change the tune. The other encased one of Rena’s guiding her through the song.
The sun completed its descent underneath the horizon, and the herd of deer found their way back into the forest. Hints of light hung in the sky, now joined by colors of dandelions and the deep sea. The high-pitched babbling of your daughter chimed in during certain sections, forming a heart-warming duet. With your head on Boothill’s shoulder, you hummed along.
—
The town of Iris Creek was blissful, wilted blossoms gathering on the path's edges from the growing heat. The watery flow of its namesake echoed through the grand trees, calming your mind as you approached with Boothill at your side. After your most recent hunt, a week of rest was well-deserved.
Leaning down, you let the velvety liquid rush between your fingers. Its chill permeated your flesh, a content smile on your face as Boothill toyed with your hair.
“I enjoy seeing you this way.” he whispered, staring at you lovingly.
You turned, removing your hand from the water and laying back on the grass.
“At ease?” you questioned.
He nodded, resting down beside you, hat on his chest. You brushed aside his lengthening bangs, turning the strands together before running a thumb over his cheek.
He leaned into your touch as you asked, “Do you watch me sleep then?”
Embarrassed, his face angled toward the ground.
“Gettin’ shy on me, cowboy?”
He gave no response, simply meeting your eyes with a tender silver. Your lips met his cheek, feeling the bashful warmth gracing his features.
“I like it.” you spoke softly in his ear, leaving a little bite along the lobe.
One hand came up to your waist, holding tightly as your focus shifted to his neck. The other fell into your hair, gripping after a bold lick to the revealed skin.
“Can’t help but be at your mercy, sugar.”
“Such a charmer.”
“Around someone like you, it’s only natural.”
A nibble at the edge of his jaw led his fingers to rub underneath your shirt.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, look at you. One conversation and I was hooked.”
“All it took was one challenge for you to love me?” you chuckled.
“Sugar, all it took was one glance.”
A cry reverberated down the creek as you finally kissed Boothill’s lips. It was panicked and small, drawing you almost entirely from the moment.
Pushing off of his chest, you sat up to survey your surroundings. Boothill rubbed your thigh, looking at you curiously. Just a minute later the two of you stood, spotting a tarnished cloth amongst the bank’s brush.
“Do you see that?”
He followed your gaze, walking ahead of you only to kneel down and lift the sullied fabric. His eyes widened as he beckoned you over. The crying intensified, a tiny head turning from side to side.
A baby.
Boothill was the first to move, cradling them gently in his arms. You brought a finger to their grabbing hands, brushing another one over their forehead.
“What should we do?” you wondered aloud.
“Take them in?” he uttered.
“Are we ready for that, though? We’re wanted criminals, Boothill. That’s no life for a child.”
“Then we settle down.”
“There’s still no guarantee we won’t be hunted or ambushed.”
Your hands fell back to your side, unsure eyes watching the gears turn in his mind.
“We would be their parents, together we can take anybody. Lay down our lives if necessary. We could find somewhere more isolated, maybe even further out of this state. Teach them some of our methods as they get older.”
A heavy sigh left your lungs, the weight of dozens of questions slowly dissipating. There were many details to discuss and new plans to craft. Nonetheless, your head landed on Boothill’s shoulder, two adoring gazes on your child.
~
Butter-colored rays bore through the train car’s windows, wide mountains of tan rock and green bushes waiting outside. A bundle of blankets lay in your arms, encasing your daughter in comfort and warmth.
Boothill had left for them not long after you brought her back to the hotel, returning worriedly with them in hand. They were soft and luscious, leading you to wonder who he had stolen them from. “Only the best for our little girl” – it wasn’t just a statement but a promise.
Another was sworn that evening, your daughter finally clean and sleeping in your arms. Boothill rest behind you in the bed, shielding your small family from any danger while wrapping you in care.
“What should we name her?” he asked quietly, warm breath fanning over your neck.
You pondered silently, letting your head lay on his shoulder. “How about Rena?”
He hummed, a thick finger running over her forehead. “From that play of Effie's, right?”
“I think her story was admirable. Live freely, out on your own road, never waste your time with what you can’t change.”
“Now I like the ring of that.”
“See?” you smiled, a teasing slant to it. “When I wrote to her a few days ago she added in a thought or two about the characters. She said Rena also meant melody, at least according to what she could find in Thatcher's library.”
“Then it's settled.”
His chin landed in the crook of your neck as he simply watched her be, absorbed in thoughts of the future. It wasn’t until she stirred, eyes opening and hands seeking, that you witnessed him take on a gentleness formerly reserved for only you.
His eyes began to water as she held his finger close, staring up in his direction yet unable to pin him down. When she finally did, he sat like a spooked deer, only releasing a low, happy chuckle after your own.
A cough down the car broke you from idle reminiscence. Boothill read a crinkled paper, the letter sent from the ranch you were seeking out. He had come back one evening with the result after days of asking around. Down near Iron Springs, there was someone with plenty of land – could provide decent wages and a cabin to stay in. A suitable place to settle down, with much for Rena to learn and experience.
Taking his cheek between your empty fingers, you pinched and watched him grumble. Despite your lifestyle, you could only hope that this would be a lovely and safe life for her.
—
PART II - A Luminous Star, Ephemeral
Murky skies cried chilling droplets, harshly soaking your bloodstained shirt. The evening had to be setting in, but any hope of seeing the sun finally fade had long since dissipated with the storm’s onslaught. A frayed splinter dug into your palm, the weight of the shovel increasing as the hole in the ground deepened. The dirt was malleable, easy to unearth and pile up.
Many graves were dug by your hand, and you prayed this would be the last.
Boothill wept only a few feet away, Rena’s corpse in his arms underneath a sturdy tree. Ashamed, your gaze fell back to the emptying plot.
Heavy throbbing found its home along your left side, yet still, you had to dig. The pain was deserved – a punishment that fit your crime. Crusting edges tug and bent at the surrounding skin, the quickly cauterized wounds only growing more irritated by the rainwater.
Trickles of pink traversed down your cheeks, blood washing away slowly with your tears. Leaning on the shovel, your eyes rose from the ground. A strong and steady breeze cast the rain in sheets, carving figures in the mist. Discerning who they were was useless, you could remember them anywhere.
Your father, the Weston family, and your daughter.
The mud and soil coating your fingers shifted to a deep scarlet, beads falling from their tips and hitting your boots. Trees morphed into tombstones, and you found yourself paralyzed. Mr. Whitfield’s gravelly voice rang in your ears, drowning out any natural melodies.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn a pure soul, lost too soon. Rena Blackwell was an adored child, and she will continue to be so in our thoughts, and all the way to the depths of our hearts. Her smile could dispel any darkness, and her curiosity persisted to the ends of the earth. Her fascinations lie with animals and music, her greatest friends a pony and her papa’s guitar. May she find eternal peace amidst these mountains and plains, their windy song carrying her gently to the hereafter.”
Lightning crackled across the sky, an omen of your judgment day. Boothill’s shadowed figure stand illuminated by the last ounce of daylight breaking from the clouds. Rena lay delicately in the grave, eyes closed and hands folded, his hat just beneath their union. Wordlessly he took the shovel, leaving you to kneel at her side as dirt cascaded over her corpse.
Stars found their stages in the wisp-struck night sky, their beaming light mocking. If they were tangible to Earth, you would have left plenty of rounds in them. Mourning was an act displayed to you since childhood, but it never came easily. Perhaps that was part of the point. Loss would never be simple, and humanity is far too complex to handle it so. Death was an odd thing, and despite working so intimately with the inevitable specter, it had yet to reveal every one of its forms.
Every body you would prepare never revealed its secrets. No amount of soap and water could cleanse it's invasiveness. No number of incisions and blood drained could release the agony. The fluids injected could not provide life, and clothes would only emulate. Death was permanent, and excruciating to all.
You could shoot a man without hesitation, but being along the receiving end of that cruelty, you could only resign yourself to regret. You killed bad men, yet they still had lives. Friends and family they found or created.
The grating sound of a knife on wood reached your ears, breaking into your thoughts. Boothill sat opposite to you, a neat piece of bark in his hands. Raging thunder rolled, sending a chill down your spine. Paranoia created the shattering sense that you would be reunited with Rena by dawn. Either by your own hands or someone else’s; perhaps the heavens would shoot back, sanctioned by some higher force that heard your monologue.
You watched him work, one tainted hand of yours rubbing back and forth over the dirt housing your daughter. His actions soon faded to oblivion as the song of the storm played on.
When a new bolt of lightning crashed, you became privy to her tombstone.
Rena Blackwell
Beloved star
1892 - 1892
Boothill stood, utterly dejected and tear-stained, before extending a hand down to you. His head met your shoulder once you rose, and one of your hands reached his hair. Strength was needed of you, not misery. The only comfort you received was a fact – no harm would befall you in Boothill’s arms, unless he pointed the gun at you instead.
—
Cheers ascended from under the floorboards, filling your pitch-black room with taunting joy. Your eyes remained on the ceiling, hands at your sides as you lay still – attempting to sink into the hard mattress while the hurricane to your left continued. It was the sixth night ending like this. Boothill had yet to find slumber, his journey to it only filled with suffering. He never reached out, always keeping his back to you and his face toward the pillow.
Despite the stinging urge to run your fingers through his hair, not once could you ever. Conflicting instincts wanting nothing more than to soothe him, but craving an escape.
You rubbed your eyes, throwing the sheet off of your body. The night chill creeped in, the sensation a welcome dissipation for your tenseness. A sniff echoed before a heavy sigh, and not even a moment later the bed resumed its light shaking. Stomps came in unison from the bar below, startling you to jump. With a worn exhale you sat up, feet touching the rough floor. In just a couple quick movements, you were dressed well and ready to face the ruckus below.
A saddened silver gaze finally revealed itself in the sliver of light from the doorway, but yours focused only on the ground, afraid to face him.
Instead, you would find solace in a bartender’s hands, the liquor he poured leaving a delightful blaze in your throat – easing the pain one sip at a time. It was only now you could understand why Isaiah Weston made the choices he did. Too cowardly to navigate his emotions, much less his son’s. The vulnerability intimidating, and any words gone with the wind. A weight too heavy to hold, but various fears preventing you from ever sharing it.
Getting lost in the bottle was a romantic escape, then, even if you would come to regret it. That blossomed the vicious cycle, when your method of coping only added more guilt – defeating the purpose of this night to begin with.
A hand placed itself on your shoulder, bringing your gaze from empty shot glasses to a familiarly styled head of black hair. Tears rapidly welled in your eyes, spirit feeling despondent when their hand returned to the counter.
“Jasper?” you whispered, feeble hope fueling your delusion.
They shook their head at you, “I’m afraid that’s not my name.”
“My apologies.” you nodded, downing another round as they began talking to the bartender.
He was dead, the first to meet the end of your revolver. There was no place to find him besides six feet under, at the very cemetery you first met.
Perhaps a visit to Fort Talia was what you needed. It had been four or five years since you left that fateful night with Boothill, never to look back. Although now, after everything, maybe looking back is the right thing to do. Return to, and learn from the past in order to glance forward. Walk the deck of the funeral parlor, stop by your old house. Finally speak to your mother again.
It was decided. Talk to Boothill come morning and see if he would join you.
—
Bright noon rays lit up the dusty buildings of Fort Talia, its peaceful people walking past Boothill with nods and greetings. Under any other circumstance he would respond, however words failed him now. The brim of his new hat hung low, obscuring his features and providing a bit of comfort. The less others saw of him the better.
He was fractured, too many pieces scattered across the range for him to find. Conversation would not come easy when he could hardly even handle a talk with himself. Your hotel rooms had become suffocating as of late. Silence reigning and gazes only ever in opposing directions. It was cold – a sensation Boothill had become unfamiliar with after all these years. That only served to make your icy temperament feel like a burning hell. No words exit your lips, eyes focused out of windows, on the ceiling or the floor. It was unbearable, the shunning that leaked from your figure.
What had he done to make you feel so? Was he even to blame?
Silver watched the clouds drift over the sky, a horrible longing to join them occupying his mind. A nearly impossible fate for him, now feared more than ever.
“Papa!”
A small, light voice shouted excitedly, followed by the pattering of boots on the deck.
Boothill turned expectantly, arms shifting and ready to pick up his daughter.
Instead he was made a fool.
He quickly returned to a regular stance, leaving down the nearby alleyway to lean himself against the wood. That was somebody else’s child, not his. The title he came to love most would never be used again, abandoned amidst the Iron Springs forest. “Papa” was her first word, and possibly even her last.
He recalled the tears you shared when she spoke, listening to her babble about him. Her voice was that of angels, as if he was finally worthy of speaking to the heavens.
Now he lost that angel, the most vivid star in the sky.
~
Three moss-coated tombstones lay before you, names that you first came to know at fifteen.
Isaiah, Callie, and Jasper.
Ellis must rest in Warren, then. Forever separated from his family.
A couple desert marigolds grew along the path to the cemetery, and you left one at each of their graves. Six in total gathered in your hand – one for each person you were to visit, as well as two extras for whoever you saw fit.
Boots trudged through the dry ground, avoiding stones that shaped plots or decorated the base of a tombstone. Rocks of grey and tan sat below your father’s and the one now beside it.
Upon reading the inscription, the marigolds fell to the dust.
Your mother was buried at his right, her death only one year ago.
With your forehead to the fine wood of said tombstone, your resolve finally crumbled. Any strength you wished to hold forsaken for the misery you denied. Tears flowed and fell frenzied, patiently creating a mud where your fingertips dug into the ground.
All of this loss, but why?
Why cherish anything if it would only be ripped away?
Holding your precious little girl one moment, only for her blood to splash over your face the next. Befriend a lonely boy, one who you found a kinship with, just for him to be shot by your hand.
Your mother, who despite her own mourning, still silently reached out to you, giving you what support she could muster. Your father, who robbed and killed unbeknownst to you, still provided and taught you things he knew about the world that would never be shared at the old schoolhouse.
They all had one common thread – loving you.
Burden, plague, curse. All words that could describe what a detriment you were. If they never loved you, never met or created you, perhaps their fates would be different.
What of Boothill, then?
—
Droplet-stained windows displayed a wagon of bottles stopping outside of the saloon. One of the drivers lept from its front, unlocking the back panel and pulling out two jugs. He lifted them in each hand, a big smile on his face as he cheered through the doors.
The crude and familiar scent of cigarette smoke curled through the window as you cracked it open, the stale quietude of your hotel room grating your nerves. Boothill observed you idly from the bed as you inhaled deeply, palms on the framing. The smell was lovely now, soothing almost. His gaze bore into you, seemingly trying to decipher your inner world.
"What is it?" you spoke softly, head turning toward him.
He sighed, eyes shifting to the ceiling. "I… You've just been so… cold I guess. I try not to take it personally, but I can't help it sometimes."
"Our daughter died, Boothill."
He sat up, "You think I don't know that?"
With a heavy exhale, you faced him. "Of course you do, but I just…"
"Every day begins and ends with her. Not a second goes by where that scene ain't fillin' my head."
"You assume it isn't the same for me? I watched them shoot her – her blood was on my face for hours! Do you think I can forget that?"
"I'm not askin' you to!"
"It sure sounds like it!"
"I just want some answers and for you to recognize that you're not the only one hurtin' here. Shutting me out hasn't been doing any good."
"Shutting you out? I recall you doing that to me. Any time I reach out, you leave or move away from me, and I get no words, nothing! You've got no love or respect for me anymore!"
"Don't you go there." He stood, inching closer to you with every word. "How dare you say that I feel nothing for you. If anything, you've been giving that treatment to me. Do you know how it feels to lay there cryin', wishing that your partner would just run their fingers through your hair and share that pain with you? No. Instead they go out for the night doin' who the heaven knows what, and then return at dawn like nothing happened. Like they didn't just abandon you to return reeking of alcohol or bruised and bloodied. Do you know how powerless that makes somebody?"
"I'm handlin' my own pain my way. I'm tryin' to be strong for you!"
"I don't want you to be strong for me! I want to know that my partner is here, and never leavin'! You remember what I said? I take care of you and you take care of me. That was the promise!"
"Well how are you takin' care of me exactly?"
"How am I supposed to begin if you never let me in!"
"Rich comin' from the likes of you."
"Why're you talkin' down to me? Do you think that helps?"
He paused before you, staring down into your eyes with a mixture of fire and love – an undertone of concern and fear. His hands came to hold your shoulders, and you hesitantly accepted the touch. One drifted up to the side of your neck, his thumb tracing your jaw and the edge of your cheek. The way he'd always comfort you. A guilt began setting in, tearing and biting at your throat, preventing any words from leaving you – likely for the better after your childish retorts.
"I don't wanna fight with you, darlin'. Please, just talk to me."
Wordlessly, you placed your arms around his neck, hugging him cheek to cheek. His own came to encase you when you finally whispered everything in his ear.
"I miss you… so much it hurts. I'm so sorry for all of the turmoil I've given you. That was never my intention. I just… I felt like you hated me. Blamed me for her… death."
"I never could."
"And I know that now. I didn't mean to be so cold, and I understand how you need me. I must admit I'd like to be selfish and have you do the same."
"That's not selfish."
You sniffed, "My… my mama died a year ago."
"Darlin'..."
"I didn't know." Fresh tears welled in your eyes. "She had no way to write to me. I have no idea what could have happened to her. She was all alone, lost to the world in our little house."
His hands descended to your hips, carefully stepping backward as you clung to him reluctant to move. He turned, setting you down on the bed before walking to get a blanket off of one of the chairs. The soft wool came into your hands before a weight settled behind you.
“Lay down.”
You shifted up the bed, throwing the blanket over your legs and resting your head. Boothill shuffled up next to you, his cheek to your chest. He stared up at you, eyes closing when your fingers finally ran through his hair. A sigh filled the room, mingling with gentle neighing from the street below. Silver was revealed to you once more, a low and husky whisper reaching your ears.
"We had this huge tree, back on the farm down in Redhawk. Its branches were wide and overflowing with leaves, but on a windy night you could see the stars through them. My fathers, they were always dreaming -- planning for our future. We'd sit out there and they'd talk for a while, answer any of my questions and teach me some life lessons. Eventually, one would get to strummin' on the guitar and we'd sing and cheer along – it was the most fun when some of their friends would come to visit or we'd host some guests from the road.
One was more pragmatic than the other, though they both had sharp minds. He could talk to anybody, find out anything he wanted to know. More caring and gentle, but still very strong. My other was a great gunslinger, and charismatic to a fault. He was a little rough around the edges, but I loved him anyway. They were my idols; taught me nearly everything I knew before I started goin' on the round-ups. Wasn't until I went back to our farm just a couple years later that I found it tore apart, two letters on the dining table for me. They were gone -- one captured and killed by the NHA and the other off to get revenge. He left me one of his revolvers, the same one I still use today."
Your fingers ran over his exposed cheek, noting the brimming water in his eyes matching your own.
“They raised a brilliant son.”
Your voice cracked as you finished speaking, watching him cry into you as you released your own burdens. The euphoria of budding forgiveness and the grief previously set aside catching up to you. It seemed that nearly every pain of yours was one he shared at some point or another, and it only emphasized the resolution of your argument.
You needed each other now more than ever.
—
“Are my eyes playin’ tricks on me?”
“Well I don’t believe it either.”
A man shook hands strongly with Boothill, hitting his other down on his shoulder. He had a confident glint in his hazel gaze, a boisterous air around him.
“How’ve you been, you beautiful piece of scrap?” he chuckled.
“Times have certainly been better.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, friend.” was his somber reply.
You extended your hand, feeling a calloused one against your palm.
“I see you’re his partner in crime, undertaker.”
“You got one of your own yet?” you asked, trying to keep the atmosphere light.
“Of course! You’re more than welcome to come by tonight and meet her, our kids as well! We’ve got two of them raisin’ hell all over the place.”
“Thank you, but-”
“We’ll be there.” Boothill interrupted, a sharp smile contrasting with his sullen eyes.
“I’m happy to hear that!” Lee beamed, “Some supper'll be ready for you.”
His hand hit your elbow playfully before he focused on Boothill.
“What liquor do you like now, ‘Hill?”
~
Lee’s porch was well-lit, a small garden out front with bright flowers and a structure of twigs resting alongside the stairs. It was likely built by his children, or whoever got distracted while watering and left puddles on the steps. A light knock reverberated through the door, summoning a figure that stood as tall as the knob to open it.
“Hello!”
Quick steps came from behind them, before the door was tugged open further.
“Come in, please!”
You were the first to cross the threshold, a large fireplace and a set table coming into view. Chairs were gathered immediately to your left, some books and a half-built pyramid of empty cans decorating the scene. Blankets were gathered against the wall, dark brown eyes meeting yours as a shaggy dog rose from its bed.
Lee carried a pot to the table, a white cloth protecting his hands from the hot handles. He uttered warnings of the heat to his kids, the same ones who greeted you at the door. Another figure, just slightly taller than him, followed behind with a pitcher of water in one hand and a bottle of bourbon in the other.
While they continued preparing the food and adjusting the ambience, one child tugged on the ends of Boothill’s coat. The other peppered him with questions, looking excitedly at his gun and even more so at the chamber kept in his arm. A small smile grew on his face at their attention before they returned to Lee, wanting to know stories about his “heroic” friend. He followed them to the table, pouring two cups of water from the pitcher and handing it to them. Joyfully, they thanked him and resumed their conversation with Lee.
Seeing what he had raised mixed feelings. You were happy that he had found somebody of his own, that they seemed to love each other and work well together. That joy still couldn’t bury the tinge of envy sinking in, created from how it hurt to be reminded of what your family could have been had Rena simply been allowed to grow.
Scratching behind one of the dog’s ears, a tap landed on your shoulder and grey fingers came into view. They held a glass out to you, filled with clear liquid.
“For you, darlin’.”
The undertone of his words were not lost on you – avoid drinking tonight. Let me take care of you.
“Would you like some stew?”
The welcoming voice of Evelyn sounded from the dining table, a bowl and ladle in her hands. You accepted her offer, watching her gold wedding band glint in the light as you approached her. Their dog followed just behind, its nose occasionally bumping into the back of your leg.
The stew was warm in your hands, making a soft thud against the counter as you sat beside Boothill. A savory broth coated your tongue, the heat of a home-cooked meal comforting amidst the chilly desert night. Conversation flowed easily between all of you, as if you were playing back at the saloon years ago. It wasn’t until there were scraps in bowls and empty glasses covering the table that it took a more serious turn.
Evelyn dismissed their children, Emmett and Mable, from the table. Begrudgingly they went to the living area, playing with the dog and continuing to build their pyramid.
"What happened, 'Hill?" Lee questioned lowly.
You placed your hand along the back of Boothill's neck, meeting his somber gaze. “Let’s talk about it.”
He sighed, his eyes leaving yours and looking at the couple on the opposite side of the table. "Just eight or nine months ago we found a baby up in Iris Creek. We took her in as our own, raising her at that ranch I was tellin’ you about in Iron Springs.” He paused a moment, and you brushed your thumb against his nape, your focus remaining on the wood floor. “About… About three weeks ago the NHA came knockin'. They killed her right in front of them." His gaze turned to you momentarily. "I arrived shortly after."
"I'm so incredibly sorry to hear that." Evelyn spoke gently, placing her hands over one of yours and Boothill's. "I won't pretend to know that pain, but we're here if you need anything."
Lee reciprocated her action, a grit in his voice that was vastly different from hers. "Those cruel bastards will get their judgment day." He exhaled after a glance from his wife, solemnly looking at you, then at Boothill. "She's right, though. A room, food, company, whatever you need. There'll always be a warm fire ready here for you."
—
Bidding farewell to the McHale’s was difficult. They wanted nothing more than to continue catching up, but the night was passing and grogginess collectively set in. Emmett and Mable shouted their goodbyes from the porch, accompanied by the waves of Evelyn and Lee. You returned their gestures, slowly riding off from their home. Boothill’s gaze turned to the stars after saying his own goodbyes, watching the sky as he shifted back and forth. There was much to ponder after that visit, especially for him. The two of you hadn’t talked much in the past few hours, occupied by your own worlds and memories of the past.
Life had been fulfilling thus far, though one world-altering regret weighed heavily on that idea. A certain finality came with it, a need for eventual acceptance lest you meet that finality yourself. In time you would arrive there, but for now it was best to let the pain run its course – feel it and share in it. Boothill had no expectation of you than to simply be there for him as he is for you. Rena had two parents, and lived the best, most beautiful life you could provide for her.
There was one thing you had learned about death -- all that it claimed were eternally benevolent, either in life or the hereafter. If your parents, or Boothill's fathers were here right now, made of flesh and blood, they would want the best for you. For you to live another day and find your place in this wide and bittersweet world. They strived the same as you, to give their child the life they deserved. Perhaps Jasper's notions in the face of death's door were correct. Family would reunite, free of burdens and earthly matters. Spirits would live on in bliss, their memory preserved by each generation.
When you picture all that you've lost, you see a beautiful ranch -- just like the one you worked in Iron Springs. There would be a grand tree, housing Boothill's fathers and little Rena giggling and tugging on one's hair just like she would with you. Your parents would exit a cabin with various drinks and a bowl of apples, stopping to share one with a horse on their way to the meeting spot. Maybe even the Weston's were there, Isaiah smiling from a rocking chair on the porch. Callie would be happy, free of sickly features and whistling a tune. Ellis, cleaning his guns right beside his father. And Jasper would walk from the door, giving each of them a hug before running over to your parents and helping them carry their goods.
If the day ever came, when you would face that reaper with your boots on, that was the life you craved to return to. One where you could drink, laugh, and settle things with your large family -- everyone you ever held dear gathered 'round to celebrate the day. You would wait for Boothill, the inevitable fact being that he would outlive you. It was an idea accepted long ago. Confronting reality was necessary for the life you lead.
Yet that was the other thing about death -- love surpasses it. No matter what kind that love was, it would dance across the edge into the realm of departure. While it may alter itself, those living would still hold its fondness.
If the day ever came that Boothill joined you, either as he is now or as Jesse Blackwell, you would greet him with arms wide open. That very same love remaining with the dead, living in their own peaceful way at your little ranch.
"What's on your mind, darlin'?" he whispered, gazing at you now, instead of the night sky.
"You, and our dreams." you replied with a small smile.
“How romantic of you.” he chuckled, a contrasting and heavy look in his eyes.
Silence rode along between you for a moment until you spoke up, “Where do we go from here?”
He exhaled, a defeated yet promising sound. “Let’s just start with our hotel room. Take it one day at a time from there.”
#coff writes for hsr 🍾#i've only seen like four of the things that have been shared and talked about the most from his leaks#mostly since i don't want to seek them out#since i think it'll be even more impactful when it's officially shared in the story#but still#i'm looking forward to it :)#and with the little bit i've seen so far#i wanted to continue his and the reader's story in this au#and the challenges that come with what they face#especially with the reader being a former undertaker#also the title is from seed of memory by terry reid if you're curious :)#and if you know where the title for part 1 is from here's some extra love 🫶 one of my favorite games of all time and an inspo for this au#anyway tag time!#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr boothill#hsr x reader#hsr boothill x reader#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail boothill#honkai star rail boothill x reader#hsr fanfic#hsr au
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It occurs to me that any scenario where aliens call humans "pinkies" is assuming that the majority of the humans they meet are actually paler than human average. Is there a sci-fi setting where humans are called "brownies"?
(That brings with it the potential for confusion about dessert food and household fae, too. Which is fun.)
#I went to describe the main character's hand#and immediately got stalled on what exact color it is#compared to a yellow-green lizard alien#writer life#skin tones#in spaaace#I'm sure there are books/games/whatever out there that don't call the humans pink#but I haven't encountered them#and I'm curious#we're really not pink#the vast majority of us#even most white folks are best described as palest brown#but somehow it feels like a Political Statement to say so#le sigh
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If you attended/experienced more than one school, vote for the one you attended longest or feel the biggest connection to!
#college#university#i'm curious because my undergrad it was very unusual to see people out on the grass#but not weird just uncommon#and the school where i'm working now students are out ALL the time#sunbathing hanging up hammocks study circles playing games#i find it so charming but it's so different from what I was used to in undergrad#polls
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in lieu of having posted any writing/headcanons/asks in the past few days because i have been *so* busy and unable to do anything fandom-related which is terrible and evil, i have a poll out of morbid curiosity and self-indulgence. i've been meaning to ramble here about how i feel about DC's lack fo Deaf representation and which Batfam members i would personally make Deaf, but i am mildly curious about the larger opinion and now i will subject you all to the question, i would love to hear thoughts/opinions/headcanons on any specific choices. (would love d/Deaf/HoH opinions esp but i'm mostly expecting this to reach the hearing crowd, so opinions from hearing ppl are ones i'm very curious about. if you've never given it thought before you are going to now or else /lh)
#necrotic nuisance#<- new tag for nonserious shit like this#batfamily#batclan#deafculture#i think not including bruce in this poll bc i ran out of options is *so* fucking funny so i'm keeping it#bc realistically i could bump off more tertiary characters like harper or jpv to include him#but i won't.#hearing people are seriously invited to reblog and share opinions or headcanons i'm so genuine#just like. behave about it.#i have personal headcanons but i will save sharing them until the poll is finished#as not to skew results#i also have a hunch on who will lead. based on popular headcanons i see#but i will also not share that as to not skew it#i'm using the Deaf identity as an umbrella term that can include Hard of Hearing as well btw#so if your headcanon is more HoH leaning it is counted#i do believe this is something most fans haven't rlly thought about#but i *really* want to write fics with Deaf rep and i have been waffling on who to make Deaf#so. this poll is also a field test of who you would like to see me (a Deaf bitch) write as Deaf.#and i totally pinky promise not to project super duper hard on them. (i'm so lying)#i will get back to writing and the ask games i promse!#tomorrow i have the day off after 4 bc someone else is watching the baby so ic can just chill#also *please please* if you have disabled headcanons for any batfam (or DC in general) character#send them to me. i want to see them. i would love to talk about them with you.#as an anon ask as a message as a reblog idc#gimme.#this isn't my usual content but shhh lemme be self indulgent.#both bc i'm curious and bc i wanna write Deaf shit so. we take a break from my usual nonsense for this.#i'll post writing tomorrow to make up for it#also i have to remind myself this is my blog i can do what i want with and not just be a content machine. yk
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nothing ever excites me more than a spontaneous genshin, or more particularly, mondstadt discovery. i sat diluc upon the barbatos statue as a nice spot to go afk on without being interrupted by repetitive idle animations and voicelines (sorry diluc, this is nothing personal). my volume was turned up more than regularly by accident, and my in-game music was off despite how much i like the original game soundtrack. aNYHOW- i was about to go afk when i heard some strange noises that i didn't recall hearing in mondt before. it made me pause and turn my volume up even more. in the video above, it's kind of hard to discern the brief sounds over the noise of the wind up on the statue and in mondstadt in general, but when the wind dies down a little, you can distinctly hear voices of people, and what shocked me the most – neighs of horses. i have no clue whether it is just me discovering this only now, after 4 years of playing this godforsaken game and clearly not having paid enough attention to mondstadt's sfx before, but i still felt the need to share this terribly interesting tidbit in case there's other clueless mondstadt enthusiasts like me.
#what makes me so curious about these sfx is my inability to discern the meaning behind them#the sounds in the clip can only be heard during the night‚ which inserts various questions into my head#first and foremost‚ the sounds obviously confirm the existence of horses in mondstadt. the horses that AREN'T THERE in the current timeline#the horses that PHYSICALLY have no space for them within the city‚ but that's a problem of a different kind that i want to touch upon later#what makes their situation even more curious is that they're only heard during the night‚ with no trace of them during the day#so‚ my question is – surely they wouldn't add this specific sound if they didn't plan on introducing the horses in-game at some point?#even if there was no mentions of horses in genshin whatsoever‚ except in the manga which is set prior to the game's events#aka the timeline before the beginning or during the early stages of varka's expedition considering seamus's presence in mondstadt#and if that is so‚ is the peculiar activity of horses only at night a result of them being out of the city alongside the kof during the day#next curious thing to me are the voices and shouts‚ most likely in chinese‚ that i cannot discern and that i found nothing about online yet#however‚ in my opinion‚ the shouts seem too loud for the peaceful‚ post-stormterror crisis atmosphere of mondstadt#most of the words sound as if they're spoken through a megaphone‚ repeatedly‚ like call-outs to something or somebody#and not at all like shouts of people‚ regular citizens‚ from within their homes‚ or those of random drunkards on the streets at night#during daytime‚ the chatter is more coherent and distinctly chinese‚ words they clearly didn't bother translating to other voice-overs#another random and interesting sound is of something akin to a bell chiming‚ and i don't mean the big church bell tolling like in the clip#i am eager for feedback on this‚ for any sort of help or translation to sate my curiosity#and i'm also very much open to ideas or even random interpretations as i am overflowing with them‚ too#mondstadt#old mondstadt#genshin impact#genshin brainrot#genshin headcanon#genshin ost#genshin help#wilhelminaesque
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i dunno it kinda bothers me sometimes to see characters who are referred to with they/them pronouns in games described as "ambiguously gendered" or "gender left unclear" or "gender unstated" by fans and stuff like. yeah absolutely they are sometimes that. sometimes the creator had a gender in mind for them while creating them and just didn't think to talk about it in the game. but also, like. sometimes characters can just be nonbinary? and it makes me kinda sad that everyone's first reaction to they/them pronouns in games is "oh, they have a binary gender, it's just up to the player/not stated in-game".
#this is just something i was thinking about#after reading the ut localization book and seeing monster kid and onionsan described this way specifically#like. onionsan isn't really a big deal to me. they're just never talked about in the game.#i'm not treating them as Important Canon Nonbinary Rep because even though i use they/them for them#they're not canonically Anything.#monster kid is sort of the same deal? undyne uses they/them for them#and while it could be argued that she doesn't know them you could also argue they sneak out to follow her a lot#she could've met them before.#eh. it's a non-issue in this case really. at least they didn't describe napstablook that way#but honestly why are they so scared of saying 'nonbinary'. it's clear that that's what napstablook is#with the 'theirself' and all that#which. singular themself/theirself is not a word you see often in media at all!#it certainly wasn't when undertale came out! that was a pretty uncommon word in games!#so props to toby for featuring the first singular themself i ever saw in media and making me go 'woah'#but anyway. if you're curious. the lol book simply says#'the game refers to napstablook as 'them' not 'him' or 'her''#which. yeah! they're a them! but why do you act like this is some sort of narration quirk#and not just. a character being nonbinary.#i think that became pretty clear when the first few rounds of the undertale art book#came out and used he/him for them#but then someone asked toby about the pronoun difference#and he called them all back and changed their pronouns to they/them in the book once again.#honestly i. only vaguely remember hearing that so if someone has sources i'd love to see them#but like. why can't characters be nonbinary. why can't people just say nonbinary. it's not a scary word.
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On the topic tho of like. The archons switching up domains, what do you think could be other interesting changes? Like. Zhongli and Eternity vs Erosion, or how contracts could be subsumed by Justice. Similarly- I think Nahida, with her domain of dreams- could honestly be really fun to play with a Freedom domain, considering the irony of a caged god of freedom to parallel Ventis current story. Alternatively- Freedom in the nation of hydro, where they’re cursed because of the flouting of the rules, and Furina is trapped in a centuries long gilded cage- like. There’s interesting things you can do!! -☁️ (hi it’s me again, I forgot to tag the previous backreading one)
oh yeah absolutely, honestly since the game is about solving problems and dealing with Situations, you could reasonable slap freedom onto any nation and find an interesting outcome. like- freedom from the shogun's dicatorial rule, freedom for ei from her own fears and isolation, freedom for nahida from her prison, freedom of knowledge in sumeru, freedom for furina in how she wants to live life, freedom as it is seen by the people of meropide choosing to remain underwater, freedom for the people of fontaine to finally be people as their ancestors wished without celestia dictating what they can and cannot do, freedom for zhongli to retire and live life at his leisure, freedom for the humans of liyue to carve their own path forward on their own two feet (i admit that's the weakest one); and now natlan will probably be freedom to coexist or freedom from violence or freedom from natlan itself since it's closed. snezhnaya, too, could be about freedom: freedom from celestia's rule, freedom from the heavenly principles (or whatever the fatui are doing); same thing for khaenri'ah and the abyss sibling. freedom from fate and to be able to decide your own destiny. at the end of the day any plot with any conflict can include freedom as a motif, so like- yeah, freedom would be the easier to switch around.
as for the others, that would be the more interesting part i think. like you said, contracts and justice, eternity vs erosion (which is already ei's plot so zhongli wouldn't be all that new honestly), wisdom for zhongli too with the whole witnessing history thing. eternity for nahida in the way wisdom perseveres through time but also in the irony of knowledge is beholden to irminsul and knowledge in irminsul is apparently subject to erasure. stuff like that
we'll have to see how we can play around with natlan and snezhnaya. if snezhnaya is about love that could also be really interesting, as you could also feasibly slap it most of everywhere, too.
#funnily enough tho it might be because it's already supposed to be about freedom#but i find mondstadt is the least freedom-y of the nations in its like. plot#like if we ignore the history pre-game and focus on in-game events#like what's the freedom aspect in mondstadt's plot? i know mondstadt's plot is already minuscule at best#unless i'm forgetting smth#but liyue came out at the same time and it has more to do with contracts than mondstadt with freedom#like yeah freeing dvalin from the abyss' control over it.#but by that logic every single nation would be about freedom as well#someone please tell me their take on that actually i'm kinda curious#like in-game plot-wise#what has mondstadt to do with freedom. is it just not noticeable because they're already a free nation and all that? but again#by that logic so too would be fontaine and liyue. unless you want to argue freedom only exists in the absece of their ruling archon#in which case that seems like a surprisingly closed-off definition of freedom. which is ironic#and even then mondstadt seems like not the most free nation despite being the nation of freedom.#mondstadt is the USA all over again
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here's how it goes:
everyone spends valentine's day in DEEP denial. tubbo isn't dead, he CAN'T be. when they die they come back, that's how it is, how it's ALWAYS been. the island is hell but at least fatalities don't stick, except in specific cases and all of them in the same white shells. of course philza jokes, he's thinking about tubbo, he can't stop. he's expecting tubbo to jump out at any moment, he's expecting to go to fobo and see tubbo hidden in the basement throwing darts at a picture of fit and pac looking at each other, he's expecting to go back to the dungeon and the body is gone (he hopes). tubbo's not dead. he can't die. none of them can, just the eggs.
(it never takes this long to come back; he knows something is wrong)
here's how it goes:
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life." the eggs have always had lives. i don't think some of them have ever understood that the players have infinite chances, with their insistence on protecting their caretakers from deaths like their caretakers do for them, charging back into the eye worker war, refusing to back out of a dangerous dungeon before their parents do, wanting to protect. i don't know if they understand that to the players, death is like spit in the face: unpleasant, sure, but no big deal.
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life" and of course they believe him. death is their constant companion, no more than two doors down. some eggs are used to it being a breath away.
here's how it goes:
tubbo is dead. the children mourn him. the players are scared. defiant. they always are. who among them has died? dan, missing; spreen, gone; maximus... well there was no body, no announcement, surely-
(how long did it take pierre to accept it? to realize it? to take down the missing person posters? not a day. not a day.)
juanaflippa died and there was a court case to save her. bobby died and the whole server journeyed to save him. when is the last time the players have taken death lying down?
here's how it goes:
tubbo dies, and he dies unloved (fit's arm is stretched out to save him). he dies without purpose (sunny is there, she's waiting, she knows he won't move). he dies and no one cares (chayanne refuses to leave, his godfather, he failed his-)
here's how it goes:
the valentine's party is so loud but too quiet. there's a name in the air, even when no one is saying it
"wow sure is good tubbo isn't here" phil says (he's said this before, he'll say it again, but isn't it strange how many times? perhaps even he doesn't believe it. perhaps he's trying to convince himself.)
here's how it goes:
a creature with too many faces comes. it tells them the truth they won't face. tubbo is gone.
quesadilla island says, "not for long"
#qsmp#shut up vic#block game brainrot#idk not fully satisfied w this but it's 1:30am where i live and i have work#just had some Thoughts. if you're curious this isn't intended to bash any character#i'm not putting character tags on it bc i don't feel like throwing it to those specific wolves idk how this is gonna go over#just it bothers me how people are acting. wanted to throw some cents in the ring#i feel like people are focusing hard onto their fav's lore and missing the other side so.#tbh was a half attempt at throwing what i got out of it which is hopefully close to both#or at the very least it's Equally Neither Option :)#anyway goodnight from me sweet dreams#if you hated this don't tell me lmao#((yes i tire of angst; woe hope be upon ye))#((me: i'm tired grandpa; the qsmp angsting further: THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD!'))#((maybe i LIKE hope qsmp maybe i LIKE defiance))#((catch me hoping all over the place smh))
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Out Of Context WIPs
Rules: Pick a bunch of your WIPs and summarize them as badly as possible, then ask your followers to vote on which one they’d be most likely to read. Multiple/all/none options are completely optional.
Tagged by @tkwritesdumbassassins 💕💕💕
Low-key/no-pressure tagging for: @aurevell, @dear-massacre, @whimsicalmeerkat, @lavender-lotion, @midmorning-bomb, @lucky-bishop!
#seikaze#sei's writing#tag game#I'm so curious how this will turn out xD#also yes#all but one of these are TW xD
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Ok but the fact that the Cactus Siblings are like the only residents of Gregory House with a gimmick that dates them to a specific time period has some funny implications when you think about it
Like... Do you think someone had to teach them about everything that happened since they died? Are they considered historical figures in the show's version of the living world? Are there any living members of their family who clown on CGM to this day for trying to snipe a dictator while presumably taking a piss and missing the shot because of course that's what's gonna happen when you do that?
#gregory horror show#ghs#cactus gunman#cactus girl#that last thing is in reference to a crazy lore tweet naomi iwata posted#somebody else here on tumblr posted about it so it shouldn't be too hard to find if you're curious#it's weird tho cuz I'm pretty sure the ps2 game said his backstory was a little different from that#but then again what is the lore of ghs? it's so weird and mindscrewy on purpose#anyway tho they somehow must've learned about stuff from after their time#cgm canonically loves westerns which. ya know. came out long after the days of the old west.
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I wanna share more erm.. belly stuff about my favorite characters and media on here but I'm already REALLY pushing it with this blog being named after e/q/u/i\u\s since I'm, like, one of maybe 5 of his total fans, and make it very obvious on all my main accounts.
If anyone finds the art or fics it's like. There's maybe a handful of people that even care about that character or fandom enough to make something for it and it doesn't take a lot of searching to see who they are and narrow it down lol.
I'll try to hint at what some of them are in the tags if anyone is curious, and wants to request anything with the characters from those medias so I have an excuse to post about em lol.
#I'm using my kink blog as an actual blog now huh. Oops#Lmao. anyways...#My biggest autistic interest is from 1967 and was even left out of a timeline in an official "history of S/tudio G/hibli” book-#-and most media about SG in general-#-despite it being literally the entire reason S/tudio G/hibli exists#Even the mfs who own the rights to it don't give enough of a fuck to even mention it anymore-#This anime also inspired countless other media to an insane degree like DM me if you're curious because I couldn't-#-possibly list everything. I'm talking entire TROPES. Iconic tropes and concepts in film as a whole.#ALSO: copyright issues with a spin off of this anime directly resulted in the creation of Inspector Gadget.#My other interest is a game made in 2003#^^it holds a Guinness World Record for “most critically-divisive video game”#Yet the fanbase is so empty that I have literally talked with the creators on discord.#Considering the record it holds that might be less surprising.. but still...#This next game is from 2007. Despite its source company using it to debut an entire public animation software-#-and animations made using said software ushered in an entire subgenre of entertainment on youtube in the early 2000s-#-the creators have been all but abandoned the game. Leaving only the most annoying tryhards or bots to reside within the modern servers..#^^it seems to be making a comeback though in terms of popularity because of this tho#so maybe I made it too obvious haha#self post
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Having fun, more and more! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Unicorn Tails#Dangersoft#Villainsona#Just Desserts#True Villainy AU#Okay fine I'll talk about the really silly fixation I accidentally fell into lol#It's all Jello's ISaT stream's fault they mentioned Wall Day and I got curious!#Actually it was Jello reciting Will's line as the mad cultist in a kids' unicorn game that got me interested lol he just went all out#And it really is a kids' game! Like yeah some of the lore is dark and ominous and weird but it's genuinely just a nice unicorn game#And the character customization is cute and you can buy a spider hat! I want a spider hat#I'm fully onboard at this point lol I intend to buy it for realsies and play as an alicorn and go hunting for the Estranged Rabbit#Dangersoft is great of course <3 Neon green horse love that for her#Some happies <3 I've been quite happy lately :D Big Loves yay <3#If there is an article of clothing I can hide in I will take the opportunity every time lol#Regularly hiding in hoods and collars - it just feels nice!#More Charm more cutes <3 I've had the idea of her cutting her hair for S3 since she was created but I still don't Actually have anything lol#She's just cute and I love her! She's adorable no matter what she looks like#I think I was thinking something along the lines of her long hair being used against her in her True Villain form#Like how it's normally up and ice cream shaped but Kaiein wanted it down and it gave her a different look#But short it can't look like that :) She's always light and fluffy if it's short! I like it <3#Speaking of - her candle wings popping out from her Kaiein wings!#It's weird to see her with her hair down and glasses on in that context haha#I do like the symbolism of dark inky wings being cut through with fire and light :) Still drippy tho lol#And rounding off with a Just Desserts bee <3 I posted that one JD Pet Bee a while ago but I think bees are also wild animals#They're important for sweets production and pollination! Fruit-based sweets need them!#I personally really love bees I think they're the cutest but I also get really stressed about buzzing :'D#Does Not help that my hair is a colour they're attracted to so they come up right next to my head to investigate agh#So Charm is the same! Loves bees! They're wonderful and important and cute! But the buzzing...#She's being very brave tho <3
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favourite character game!!!
Put your 4 favourite characters from 4 pieces of media as options and let your tumblr pals decide which one most suits your vibes
thank you my beloveds @sommerregenjuniluft @pupmotif @quillkiller @fromagony for tagging me, this looks so fun!!
once again, and bc of my stupid job, i'm late for this so i think everyone has done it.. anyway, sorry if you've already been tagged but !! np tags: @carniferous @static-radio-ao3 @themuseoftheviolets @a-lilypad @standardlovers
#i was between izaya and kendall roy for that last one#but i've been obsessed with izaya for longer#and durarara is my fav anime in the whole world#god this had no business being so hard#and it made me realise that i've been in . way too many fandoms lmao#i get obsessed with media so quickly..#which explains a lot . i think#also when i reread aftg last time i kinda felt more drawn to renee but#dan was my first fav </3#her and andrew#anyways i don't think i'm actually similar to any of them so i'm very curious about the results#wanna find out how ppl perceive me#tag game
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