#Im so upset. Im so fucking upset
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maid Jimmy never leaves the mind. He's fucking traumatized guys he's traumatized and ur laughing. Every clip that he's mentioned the maid poledancing after having been forced into it is voiced like a recollection of a bad memory guys I'm so upset. I never stop thinking about that awful poledancing
#Im so upset. Im so fucking upset#re: last reblog and also that other time he was talking to Sausage about it and how much it embarassed him whilst Saus was like#“but Jimmy you could have done more !!” and Jimmy's like “I'd do it again if I had to” NOOO JIMMY I. IHF GHh h Im so upset#Im so upset#i m so upset#so upset#im so fucking upset#blabber
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32 degrees in my room is literal torture. I was swaying and stuttering and slurring my speech and hyperventilating and my dad just looked at me and started complaining about his non existent health problems
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#bpd#actually bpd#bpd vent#borderline personality disorder#living with borderline#bpd thoughts#bpd feels#aesthetic#bpd mood#mental illness#silly goofy mood#i wanna relapse so bad#bad person#i'm sad#not ok rn#im so upset#mentally fucked#borderline personality problems#actually mentally ill#borderline thoughts
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my sweet old man who is genuinely too kind for the world he lives in :(
#decadentart#bloodborne#retired hunter djura#he makes me so sick hes actually so fucking sweet when i think about it#Yes i gave her a skirt. whenever i draw the people of old yharnam i slways give tbem little accesories :)#the colors are a bit wonky because i intially drew it Reeaaalllyy Dark also idk i picked out some weird ass colors for the pallete#every time you shoot him off that tower an angel looses its wings#legimitately got upset when i killed him for his set#made sure he didnt fall to his death though. thats called bullying when you knock him off btw#also yeah i hc that the beasts are chill w him . and slso he knows all of their names#first maintagged art on this blog. shudders. i hope the fans dont eat me alive im serious you guys scare me#the halo was necessary btw#so anxious…. SEND IT! RAHHH!!! MY AUTISM BLAST GO!
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Kathryn Hahn as Raquel Fein in Transparent
#kathryn hahn#raquel fein#transparent#kathrynhahnedit#WIFE#tvedit#these are so ugly im upset and give up#I FUCKING QUIT#my edit#my gifs
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happy birthday silver!!
#fun fact: i hate doing bday art but this was NEEDED. i was a woman possessed. this groovy fucked me UP#groovy was made in a lab specifically for me. im SICK im DESTROYED its so good. he fucking sweeps. we win#i need silver to stab the painting and be so upset abt it i need the Tension i AUGHHHHHH#silver i love u. i wanted him to touch the frame at first like gentle ponder vibes#but its a museum thats against the RULES. i have licked a statue at a museum but silver wouldnt break rules like that#anywho. im on mobile but i saw i have an ask so i gotta reply tmrw. ty to the anon for ur patience and thoughts i rly appreciate it#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#suntails
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while i'm imperialposting. imperial dragon lore that makes me want to tear my hair out. web weave
#lich says shit#all of this info is from the wiki or links from the wiki btw. you can learn these things. for free#take my hand. you too can be sick about a species of dragon from hit browser game flight rising. that isnt real and nobody knows about#flight rising#fr#fr imperial#the raising a family short story is so upsetting to me. what#'would never be separated again' ok..... im fine and doing good. starts sweating blood#also that FUCKING lightweaver quote...#imperials bbies you deserve better than her. yes im a light flight bitch yes im a lightweaver hater yes we exist#is this stuff common knowledge among flight rising players???? are the majority of FRers going about their days knowing this stuff????#going to baldwin's knowing about imperial burial rites. going to tomo's knowing about that one lightweaver quote. going to swipp's kn#knowing about 'there's a reason they don't live at the beacon anymore'. doing my fucking archaeology knowing about luminax backstory.......
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Concept art and final render of Silco's office occupied by Sevika.
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#sevika#silco#arcane#I AM SO UPSET IM GONNA THROW UP AHHHHH MY SEVIKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#I am so crazy rn I have to write an essay about this#also fic writers use this as u will 🤓☝️#fucking mattress on the floor she is a mess I can save her
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me watching the season finale;




#IM SO UPSET#I CANT BELIEVE!!!! I CANT FUCKING BEEEELIEEEEEEEVE#the Penguin#the Penguin hbo#texty#Oswald Cobb#oz cobb
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Hold on everyone I'm gonna be sick thinking about this
The fact the Drifter doesn't even feel like they belong in the Origin System is honestly painful. The fact they feel like everyone likes the Operator more because it's originally their timeline, and they've just grown to already accept that. The fact they feel actually at home in the fucking year of 1999.
The fact they feel like they were essentially being used when being sent back to 1999, but they end up staying and feeling more at home in the year despite being sent there like an errand boy. Feeling at home in a place you've barely been in for too long compared to everywhere else you've been for the rest of your life? That must feel wild, y'know? And exciting, but also terrifying.
They just have never felt like they belonged anywhere, basically, but when being sent off on a mission by the Lotus they end up actually feeling like the place they ended up felt like home. People finally care about them, and even love them. Friendships were formed and maybe even a true and genuine heartfelt relationship. Sure, they're still surrounded by daily threats like the Scaldra and Techrot, but there's people who actively care about their well-being now.
Imagine it, no longer actually being alone for most of your life? Having people who worry about you, for the first time in who knows how many years? Getting genuine human (as 'human' as the protoframes get) interaction instead of being called around to do jobs? To simply just exist in such a place? It must feel like a huge breath of fresh air
It's so human and it's so real. You finally begin to heal from the trauma that's been a part of essentially most- if not all your life before arriving. It's such a stark contrast to how things are in the Origin System. I wouldn't want to leave either.
Yeah I like the 1999 update a normal amount (lying)
#the kimulacrum has been a fucking savior for lore bits because I was able to do some Quincy chats and refresh my memory#sorry im UGH I'M GOING INSANE#I love this upset SO MUCHG#despite a lot of the problems (gameplay wise n stuff); the story as a whole and the idea around it... it makes my autism go wild /pos#the chats especially are probably my favorite part; they give so much and it all feels so genuine it makes me wanna CRY#warframe#warframe posting#warframe 1999#warframe 1999 spoilers#ok autistic rant over proceed with normal conversation
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i dont think i will ever forgive what the internet did to DID because please explain to me how "your sense of self is so torn apart you think youre multiple people" turned into "youre actually multiple people"
do you understand what i mean? please understand what i mean
#kostik speaks#yes cat 3 are real things ive been told and things that honestly really traumatised me and ruined my relationship with myself & disorder#some reassurance im not the only person who finds this super upsetting would be nice#my mental illness: causes harrowing feelings of disconnection from my life and a tendency to disown and/or reject my identity#some people for some fucking reason: reinforces the mental illness in ways never thought possible#i love and appreciate everyone who knows about my bullshit and yet doesnt deny me my personhood or treat me like some freak#i got really triggered about this yesterday so ive deleted the bulk of the tags i wrote (dehumanisation trauma when)#but i stand by this and ive been assured i make sense so sure. posting#this is the real reason i hate giving my disorder by name if you even care. it is specifically this treatment#did tag
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WHOEVER SAID THAT CREGAN WOULD COME BACK IN THE FINALE: COUNT YOUR GODDAMN DAYS
#im actually so upset#because what the fuck was that#i need 3-500 business days no one talk to me#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd spoilers#cregan stark#hotd cregan#hotd season 2#hotd s2#cregan stark x reader#house of the dragon s2
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i hope wangxian had a good valentines day........................them and only them...........
#wangxian#my art#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wei wuxian#sketch#fanart#drawing#lan wangji#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#speedy speedy etc etc#as all my pieces are these days.......kicks rock#no time for big wangxians so sad#if uve commed me and ur reading this and thinking sighhh eli u really werent kidding its wangxian fluff and no comm updates all the way dow#then ....well yes! but also im working on comms too i prommy.#anyway i know mdzs universe prob doesnt have valentines day but do u think every1 prays to god wangxian dont happen to be travelling near#their sect when valentines occurs. bc id hate to be hosting them in my guest room around holidays.#also did u guys know that the untamed is sad as fuck. im rewatching it a third time did u guys know it makes me upset.
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Suspirium - Thom York
#this is my very favorite song and i think ive been wanting to make this for abt a year#when i was at my most compulsivly unwell i would be focusing so hard and sleeping so little that i would feel physically sick#like the world was tilting around me and i would think: all is well as long as i keep spinning#bc i would stop moving and suddenly id be in pieces on the floor. but now i think my favorite lines are: when i arrive will u come and find#me? or in a croud be one of them? bc its such a profoundly lonely idea. i dont believe in a life after death. i think when ur gone ur gone#your brain stops and the thing that made you you is gone forever. but if i imagined an afterlife image getting off a train onto a crowded#platform and searching for my mom through all the chaos. when i arrive will u come and find me? would our connect extend past a lifetime?#or would u be in a crowed one of them? would i stand alone in a sea of people waiting for someone who was never coming?#its a very upsetting thought#im glad i waited to make this bc i feel the song more deeply after the death of my mom. it feels more sad and more ethereal.#there r like 2 different versions of the lyrics bc thom york is so fucking hard to understand#so i use the version i like better#original art
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being so honest right now heathertail should’ve taken every plotline given to harestar and then built on them & it’s a disservice to the po3-oots arcs that she didn’t. she has a disregard for the parts of the code she disagrees with, and she’s been turned away by a member of the three as a result, first with compassion but then viciously, with him swearing her as his enemy and threatening her straight after nearly murdering her mentor. he comes close to killing her and the book tells us she *knows* it.
seeing the dark forest pick up on this rivalry, on the way she’s been unfairly treated by lionblaze, and taking advantage of it would have been really interesting. it would have given way more set-up to her relationship with breezepelt and given her more agency in it then being the wife who fixes him later on. it would’ve given her an arc of her own. it would have given her a long-lasting and present relationship with lionblaze, making his chapters significantly stronger. seeing this rebellious little apprentice go from a friendly presence to a serious threat created by the flaws of the main character & the clan system would be fun.
and then eventually, after lionblaze has lost his powers and is struggling, we would see heathertail grow behind the scenes and eventually ascend to leadership of windclan. maybe they would reconcile, maybe they would remain a bitter reminder to each other of the past and what could have been, of childhood friendship tarnished with clan patriotism and needless violence. who knows. but id love to read about it.
#heathertail#lionblaze#po3#oots#wc#warrior cats#everything to do with heathertail & lionblaze makes me really angry but also makes me want to cry#she’s treated so fucking badly!!! and we barely get to see how she deals with that!!!#she was so upset when lionblaze said goodbye. reading all her scenes at once is so upsetting#because you see her go from begging lionblaze to stay friends with her to finally accepting it only to have him turn on & threaten her#for something she probably didn’t even do. and even if she did do she only did after he’d already disavowed their secret#this is very rambly. im upset#she reminds me so much of myself. oh heatherpaw we’re really in it now#i just want good things for her so badly
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this is so fucking hilarious to me that you think AI could write what i put out, and frankly it’s insulting that you can’t recognize shit when it sticks to the wall, and you’re going to accuse me of putting out something that isn’t original and of my own making. not to mention that every single part of my series is an answered request.
everything i write is a labor of love. i have a full-time job outside of this. i have bills to pay. i do this for free. i stay up late sometimes to write even though i’ll pay for it at work the next day. i cry over blank documents and feel guilty for running out of ideas or taking too long between updates. i have been incredibly vocal on this blog about how i feel about AI. i would die before using AI to write a story for me, even come up with a sentence for me, even give me an idea. the mail-order bride trope might not be original, but every word i ever wrote for that series is.
you are an insane individual to come into my inbox and accuse me of this. on anon. without evidence. and without putting it through your thick head that maybe, actually, someone fed my fic into an algorithm and stole my work.
edit: i’ve redacted the ai app mentioned to not give a free promotion for your bullshit app
#im keeping anon off#fuck you anon honestly be so fucking fr#honestly im so upset i think im taking a break#it makes me so fucking sick to think that someone made a chatbot of my work
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