#Im just very passionate abt this

[nat-amations]

its fucking 2 am in my time agh but I didn’t want to be too late

Eddsworld helped me discover my love for drawing. It’s what helped me discover my dream of becoming an animator. Edd Gould animated eddsworld (basically) by himself. Not in a big studio, in his house, on a computer. If I had never found Eddsworld or it had never been created I don’t know if I would have the passion for drawing that I do now. I discovered Eddsworld in 2021 (I’m sorry I’m such a newbie lol) and when I found out that edd Gould passed away I was devastated. I would never meet the man who created one of the best pieces of media on the internet (in my opinion). The man who taught me that you don’t need to be this fancy person in a fancy studio. Happy Birthday to him. One of the biggest inspirations in my life, and the man who has created some of the best content on YouTube (in my opinion)

Happy Birthday Edd 💚💚💚

[felixfeliccis]

I love getting infantilized on the internet it's so fun ^^ (irl too) (<- all of this is /s btw)

[heliianth]

when you say that nanika is a reflection of killua’s “worst traits”, what do you mean by that exactly? :O

genuinely asking bc i’m super interested and curious !!

ok so.... while trying my hardest not to be reductive, Killua and Nanika occupy very similar social spaces. But before we can get there, I kind of want to lay down the groundwork first.

Here's Illumi (un)helpfully expositing Killua's self-image—the one he spends his entire arc desperately running away from—for us:

Killua's narrative has a lot to do with dehumanization and questions about nature—whether somebody can choose who they are or whether their circumstances decide for them, what makes a human being, all that juicy stuff. He's almost a soft launch for what the series forces us to consider later in the CAA, which is so rife with questions about instinct, nature, humanity, and evolution that trying to navigate its character web without running into a Killua foil is like trying to walk in the rain without getting wet.

Nanika is, like the ultimate escalation of this same thing—when it comes to Killua and questions of nature, she's the final boss. Nanika (or, our initial impression of her, what we are invited via framing to think first) is almost a manifestation—a literalization—of what Killua is scared of being.

I say that because, like... what is Nanika? What do other characters see her as?

Nonhuman

Extremely dangerous by nature

Valuable due to the services she can provide

Ostracized by both the Zoldyck family (Killua is singled out as the golden child) and the outside world—meaning, not entirely belonging to any defined social group, and unable to fully fit in

A dark counterpart to a comparatively sweet, bright, and innocent personality (Alluka)

All 5 of these points hit very literally onto sore points of Killua's psyche. At least subconsciously, in some way, these are all things Killua thinks about himself; he recognizes them in Nanika because the way his family reacts to her is the way "outsiders" react to him. And he ends up dehumanizing her the exact way he dehumanizes himself—we know because he ends up unintentionally using Silva's words of being his son (positing Killua as an extension of himself, indicating similar mindsets) as an appeal during negotiations:

(Some English translations don't even use Nanika because it literally means "something")

That's what I mean when I say they occupy similar social spaces, or are part of the same social group. And Killua treats her accordingly—as in, he projects:

(elaboration on that last example here)*

Killua even ends up projecting traits onto Nanika he isn’t self-aware enough to realize he has.

For example, Killua thinks of love as a very lopsided and conditional transaction in which, due to his negative social identity group, he needs to perform something adequately in order to earn. And he assumes Nanika thinks the same way:

This aspect of the way Killua treats his sisters is consistently tricky for me to articulate because Killua doesn't end up treating her meanly or even think of Nanika poorly because of these projections—a lot of this is subconscious, Killua doesn't even realize he's doing it at first—which is what you might expect from someone who recognizes reasons for self-hatred in someone else.

I think this is simply because, at the end of the day, all of these negative assessments are still about himself—only about only his own emotions, his own internalized judgement. It’s not at all about Nanika. She's still a separate entity, someone in need of Killua's protection, so Killua can't hate her like he hates himself.

*In fact, Killua wants the best for her, wants people to love her as a part of Alluka which can be good, like he sees his own ugly traits. He even refuses to take advantage of her dangerous abilities, like he doesn’t want his own to be taken advantage of. Its projection of what he wants for himself onto Nanika—acceptance and love even if she is some Inhuman Dangerous Thing.

I can sort of infer this because Killua becomes confrontational with Illumi specifically when it comes to denying Nanika/Alluka personhood in a way he only does when Illumi is denying Killua personhood, which implies to me that Illumi doing it to Nanika/Alluka vicariously feels like another personal attack (which he can actually retaliate against now without that fuckass needle in his brain).

And just in case you weren't convinced, we do know this is projection because Killua kind of just admits it (lol):

I want to yap a little more about this but I'll put it under a readmore because it's kind of off topic. So if you just wanted answers for why I think Nanika is such a strong parallel to Killua, then you already have them lol

This scene (the one pictured above the readmore) sometimes cracks me up because of Killua’s reaction—the way he immediately slaps his cheeks and blames everything on Illumi. It’s a sort of comedic reaction to such a heartfelt (and extremely brave) ultimatum on Alluka’s end. I’ve seen some people think it’s just Killua wanting to defuse the argument, to get Alluka to listen to him so he can start to apologize correctly. But I don’t think that’s true, I think this reaction and the way he immediately brings up Illumi is a genuine realization on his end—after all, Illumi's name or presence is kind of a visual, verbal, and narrative shorthand for Killua's insecurities and the self-image he's clawing himself away from.

Up until now, Killua's never really thought about Alluka and Nanika as their own people, whether that be them separately or even just Alluka by herself. He never gave them real agency; not because he’s physically carrying them and not because he's not asking what they want, but because he’s just projecting that hard. Alluka is also tangled up in his feelings about his childhood (and Gon, as another facet of his projecting and also just as a consequence of the reason why he's rescuing them in the first place), and Nanika seemed to give her so much trouble—in the same way Killua’s own undesirable traits give him trouble—that I don’t think it literally ever occurred to him that Alluka could have a different opinion than he does.

I think Killua assumed Alluka would react to the news of Nanika needing to go away the same way he reacted to the news of him needing to leave Gon—with pained acceptance. That situation is a direct parallel to the dilemma of putting Nanika to sleep. But instead Alluka YELLS at him, and it forces him into realizing that his idea of his sister(s) was wrong. They aren’t the same person as him, his projection was unfounded, and he hurt them because of it.

Which is why he only realizes that his fear of Illumi was influencing the way he was acting then, because now he can actually look at them and see anything but his own reflection.

These pieces of dialogue: “I've been afraid of Illumi for so long... I got scared... and said some horrible things to you,” really do kind of say everything don’t they? He saw Nanika just like he sees himself, he wanted for her and thought about her this way for everything: both the good (wanting her to belong somewhere, to be safe) and the bad (the dehumanization, the deprioritization).

Killua can recognize that now, and apologize for doing that to her. For being a bad big brother.

And not only does doing this help him actually empathize with Nanika and Alluka as people whose experiences are unique from his, but Alluka’s reaction also demonstrates to Killua a self-love that isn’t reliant on the outlier model established in the Hunter Exam by Illumi and reinforced by Killua throughout the CAA (particularly echoed in the "You are light" scene, in which he directly steals 眩しすぎて out of Illumi's mouth).

As a side note, these two chapters are named Light and Darkness and Light and Shadow respectively—Gon being "light" (the novelty, the outlier) both times.

Alluka loves Nanika—her “darkness”—enough to cut off the outlier (Killua) if he doesn’t love her the same. Seeing someone he puts in the exact same ingroup as him so shamelessly love Nanika, in whom Killua recognizes things he hates about himself, actually gets through to him (whereas Gon’s previous affections couldn’t because he saw Gon as so fundamentally different).

It’s extremely important that Killua asks for this forgiveness. In the hospital, when he was talking to Gon through the window, we can see Killua knows the importance of apologies. He failed Gon, so saving him would be Killua’s apology. And Gon failed Killua too, so saying “sorry” would be his apology for that. It’s less about roles now, not about values or groups—less about Killua being useful and Gon being light—it’s more about actions.

For Alluka and Nanika, ��big brother” was the role he felt guilty for not fulfilling—a catalyst for his projections onto them. Now he’s confronted with real proof of this failure and he doesn’t end up breaking over it like he might've before. Instead he apologizes because, due to Nanika, he knows Alluka loves unconditionally. And he trusts her, trusts her judgement of him, and trusts that he’s lovable enough to be accepted by her despite his failure.

—

Overall, I think it's really important that Nanika is introduced to the audience as a scary unknown, and that our first impression is slowly dissolved over time. It's a pervasive pattern in all the characters meant to ask questions of nature—Killua himself, the Chimera Ants, Palm, even the Phantom Troupe. Togashi is, like, deeply concerned with humanization and I think it's awesome because you get these narrative threads like the one with Nanika and Killua, where his doubts about himself and his own ability to love or be loved are narratively answered via giving or receiving compassion for/from someone else. In this way Hunter x Hunter tells us that proof of humanity is the capacity for connection. And isn't that something to think about?

[whumpshaped]

make!! ur whumpee!! feel little and stupid!!! patronise them!!! be sarcastic and condescending to them!!! coo at them and praise them for the simplest things!!! in fact only ever give them stupidly simple tasks and force them to do said tasks and act like it must be super hard for them!!! never ever give them proper enrichment or stimuli so that they cant keep up their original level of smarts and wit!!! chip away at their brain until they rly do get a little dumb!!! knock on their stupid empty head often and remark how hollow it sounds!!! not a thought in there!!!

[luck-of-the-drawings]

POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.

[floorpancakes]

those are his hooves you bitch (wip)

[squidthechaotickid]

UHM UH UHHHHH!!! LIAN ANIMATIC IM WORKING ON!!! She's getting a villain arc tee hee :3

ALSO SORRY FOR THE LOW QUALITY!! FlipaClip kept crashing whenever I tried to export the video so I just!! Screen recorded it!!!!

ALSO ALSO. Go vote Lian in the @lmk-oc-competition!!!!!

[protagonist-art]

"Uh- I'm Arnold. Bennett. It's profoundly difficult to get your lifes works and studies accepted if your name isn't... yes, oh! Are you a fan of moths, sir?"

NEW RDR2 OC!! a reclusive, clumsy entomologist and bug collector; cooped up in his study of uniformed clutter

[moomeecore]

im actually really good at admitting when i dont know things its just that people keep talking to me about things that i know a lot about and am objectively correct on

[thevalleyoftriumph]

actually not to keep talking abt a topic hours later but i want to build off of one of my tags on that ultrakill post i rb'd last night [and im ONLY going to expand on one of my points, i will not be bringing up any other arguments in this post]

people love love love to say stuff like "pronouns =/= gender" [correct] and that you dont NEED to have specific pronouns such as he/him or she/her to be gay or lesbian [also correct], and while these two are great points that i agree with, it seems that these peoples support for this only goes as far as they/them users.

the absolute SECOND that a characters gender expression is canonically different from a "classic nonbinary" expression, its suddenly "up in the air" and "for your interpritation." and why is that?

specifically in the case of v1 and v2 from ultrakill; two canonically genderless/genderqueer/agender/nonbinray/what have you characters. v1 is VERY commonly seen as masc, and v2 is very commonly seen as fem.

v1 and v2 are also commonly headcannoned as gay and lesbian, respectively. theyre commonly shipped with characters seen as masc and fem. do you see what connections im beginning to see?

like it or not, by disregarding the canonical gender expression [or lacktherof] for these two, in order to fit them both into simple, binary, gendered boxes to also fit your specific sexuality headcanon - is in fact, an act of erasure! it comes off as INCREDIBLY iffy to fit nonbinary characters into a "masc nonbinary" and "fem nonbinary" binary.

and the fact is, i see people less often use other pronouns than it/its for these two for headcanon purposes or for fun or for projection, and more for SHIPPING purposes. there is a MASSIVE difference between adding onto a characters canonical pronouns for your own enjoyment and preference, and COMPLETELY changing them because you want a certain ship to be more gay, or whatever. an it/its user can be gay! it can also be a lesbian! it using it/its doesnt make it any less gay or any less of a lesbian, and it definitely doesnt make it any less nonbinary/genderqueer!

idk its just like. the machines in ultrakill [and most importantly v1 as the player character] being exclusively referred to as it/its is a major part of them and who they are. it is how they all express their gender CANONICALLY in the game. there are no other refferals no other pronouns, nothing. by disregarding this fact SO quickly, along with often only being for shipping reasons, you are showing that you Do Not Care for what the canon text is trying to tell you about the machines. im sorry but thats how it reads to me.

genuinely people love nonbinary characters until theyre the "wrong kind" of nonbinary, and all of a sudden jump through as many hoops as they physically can to disregard anything to do with that.

end of posts notes because if this post gets rb'd in any way or even breaches containment i know people will say stuff at me;

1] no, hakitas tweet about using "whatever you want" for the machines doesnt count IN THIS POST. nor does the discord. not everyone who plays the game is going to SEE either of those. while you could consider it canon [and i do! trust me! hakitas word is absolutely canon!] that doesnt mean it is ABSOLUTE, or the canon that is being INTENDED to be shown. most people are only going to see the in-game text, which is what is most important to me considering this post.

2] ive seen people making the argument that making nonbinary characters inhuman is like. bad rep or something idk im not doing the argument justice bc i dont remember it. but to that i say yes, i agree! we DO need more human nonbinary rep! boiling down every nonbinary person to be inhuman is Bad and you shouldnt instantly assume everyone whos nonbinary is Not Human! because that is really awful! do not misinterprite my stance here, i know what kind of website this is regarding reading comprehension! however comma that is not the point here. the machines using it/its isnt just from them being "inhuman nonbinary characters," it is a PART of the intended gender expression youre meant to gain from them. besides personally i adore inhuman nonbinary characters bc they kick ass and also im not human either. heart emoji.

3] no i am not saying you CANT listen to hakita and use different pronouns for the machines. at the end of the day hakitas word, regardless of if its in the game or not, is canon. im not your boss i cant tell you what to do. im not a fan of using he/him or she/her for Either v1 or v2 myself, but if it makes you happy, i literally cannot stop you. i hold no power over your decisions. i am once again saying, i am NOT tell you that you CANT do it.

just please. if your kneejerk reaction to being told "do what feels comfortable" about a characters pronouns, is to immediately assign the characters with it/its pronouns arbitrary masc/fem ones instead.. if that is your immediate kneejerk reaction, then PLEASE stop for a moment and consider why you feel that way specifically.

[steeltwigz]

Saw a post abt the Sonic movies that was like "plz filter negativity posts better" which is GOOD AND TRUE you should be doing that. Ok. But then they kept going to imply that the criticisms of the Sonic movies are all entirely Personal and Ignorable and not like. Usually abt the horrific copaganda, misogynistic writing, and Paramount's disgusting zionism.... Guys a lot of ppls problem w the Knuckles show wasn't JUST a bastardization of Knuckles' character or thinking Wade was annoying or whatever, but like was focused on the grotesque Zionist message from that one episode 😭😭😭 you can enjoy something and still recognize that it has intrinsic and huge glaring flaws and talk abt them. I think actually you Should be speaking up abt the misogyny, zionism and propaganda the SCU supports and discusses, ESPECIALLY if you like the movies! Its important to be able to recognize these things in media and admit that even media you personally enjoy can be deeply problematic, instead of hiding it away and pretending those HUGE FLAWS aren't issues actually....

[entering--hyperspace]

Cannot imagine whatever is going on through Mr Leonard Echowatcher's head. You spend your life yearning for a world where you lived differently, where the day wasnt soaked in war, blood, and battle. Where you could envision a future where you have a partner and a family with friends to live gracefully with. But then you are given such opportunities only to find you were never taught to be gentle, you have a gentle, empathetic nature and yet the physicality of it is a stranger to you. You are expected to raise a child with gentle hands so that she saves the world, What does that even mean? How can you accept your growing love for your friend when you were never taught how to love, that intimate love is a luxury best left forgotten, there are no need for such things in war. He has to learn to become the things he wanted bc he grew too old to develop it naturally. He becomes a father to taimi fumbling his way into learning how to care and parent, he is defensive of Aurene bc he is from a culture where they arent expected to raise their own young and yet has to do so with a dragon. It feels like a test, He has to prove both to others and to himself he is capable of being a father, of nuturing, that calloused, stained hands can still be gentle. He has to accept that love is a terrifying leap of faith in vulnerability in order to gain a partnership that is considered a rarity. I love the idea that he spent 30 years yearning for things he thought he would never have and when he is actually given those opportunities (albeit admittedly through unusual circumstances) he has to learn how to actually live in them, becuase they were always just Concepts until now. Ohhhh my god Mr. Leo you are my everything

[daoforthexbox360]

i really dont get the criticism that bioware "retconned" the qun to include trans people. i feel like gender being inherently tied to your role in society, regardless of whether it aligns with your assigned gender at birth is something that existed since origins. its why sten and morrigan have a whole banter where she asks if sten has a hard time considering her a woman. not because she's in any way masculine, but instead because she takes her place on the battlefield; in the qun, all weird mage stuff aside, she'd be considered a man. i think people only think its a retcon because they give it a special word in inquisition in probably the most groundbreaking yet very messily handled scene involving a trans character ive had the (dis)pleasure of seeing where bull is like "yeah the qun has a word for people like krem" which immediately helps him to understand krem, also.

the difference in sten and iron bull when it comes to adjustment to non-qunari in majority non-qunari spaces is that (probably due in part to the chargers and iron bulls already very thin ties to the qun, and definitely in part due to bull being a member of the ben-hassrath and sten being a member of the beresaad) bull just naturally has an easier time connecting with people, even people who aren't part of the qun. sten has a hard time doing this due to his role as a soldier. he was not sent to make friends with ferelden or spy on them, he was sent to figure out what the blight is. he works through this in origins if you get his approval up but he never gets to iron bull's level as far as the games are concerned. theyre fundamentally different characters, bull does not act the way he does as a means of retcon. bioware's retconned a ton of stuff but this isnt on of those things

[cosmic-d1ce]

I so badly hope that when Forever and Missa fight for Phil's affection that Forever is just as dramatic as he's been this whole time

I want a dramatic speech professing his undying love, i want him to admit its not even about Brunim anymore and he would destroy worlds for Phil if he just gives him the chance, they could be so powerful together, together they can make sure no eggs are harmed again! They could do anything if they were together, Forever just needs a chance to prove himself

I want drama im rooting for Forever

[whumpshaped]

"and im getting quality prompts too. why dont these ppl have their own blogs so i can follow them and rb all this premium stuff. "

Can't write unless I feel obligated to for the sake of somebody else :(

Scrolling through your blog and manifesting regular asks in 2024 to get me out of this hole 😭

NO BUT. OK. I AM GRABBING U LIKE THIS

I HEAR SO MANY PPL SAY SIMILAR STUFF. AND HOW LIKE OHHHH I DONT RLY WRITE THIS IS NOT REAL WRITING.... POST THAT HALF BAKED SHIT. WRITE INCOMPREHENSIBLE PROMPTS. RAMBLE. SCREAM INTO THE VOID. thats half of what i do.

THERES TREMENDOUS VALUE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! if u guys posted all this stuff the community would be all the better for it bc theyre SO quality. i love u guys. if any of u ask senders ever make a blog to post these prompts or smth, or decide to start posting them on ur already existing blogs, whatever. just send me ur url bc i wanna follow. its such good stuff.

[jam-packed]

thank god im not a journalist cus the amount of eye contact would kill me