#Ill probably use these for something on the blog!
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Tanis has a friend named Kalypso, Kal for short, belonging to another player, and he can create custom pokeballs! She has him make custom pokeball shells for all of her pokemon, and I designed a couple of them!
For Dustdevil and Progenitus! Originally in normal pokeballs, respectively.
#Kal is actually tall as fuck so its funny I called him short#but we need more custom looking pokeballs#even if its just for looks#you can customize a pokeball with nail polish even like#country trainers make do#my art#Ill probably use these for something on the blog!#not sure what yet but I need to make uh#five more#currently#she'll get more thats for sure
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Portrait of Madame X (but now Himeko Murata)
#i could never forget the mole#i took an art class once and it was horrible#the teacher kept telling me good job and i was actually begging for help#but youre doing so well already NO!!! NOOOO!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!! HELP!!!! ME!!!! HELP ME!!!!#as you can probably tell from my blog im not very good with colors#let me tell you something else. not only do i struggle with color. im actually afraid. too afraid to try#dawg that teacher...i told her all this and i was like please. just guide me. tell me something. tell me something to practice.#like how do i get used to it? how do i try?#bro said youre good enough already.#so i got irritated and gave up trying to learn in that class#anyways.#himeko murata#himeko#honkai impact 3rd#honkai star rail#it could be either woman#himeko guns girl z#himeko houkai gakuen 2#could be any of the three actually#ive never played flyme2themoon or zombiegal kawaii. i should try to find them and play#i stopped playing hg2 recently bc my [insert language] is so bad it turns out i misunderstood the story so i rage quit#ill be back tho.mama didnt raise no QUITTER
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okay fine i'll read homestuck. whatever. i've cracked i can't take it anymore i need to fuck around and find out.
#🐉#james reads homestuck#btw i know some people have legitimate objections to it so im fully prepared for that#and im not going to be an idiot and just try to ignore that and bury my head in the sand#but im curious as hell and even if some of it sucks i want to understand why#its such a compelling and beloved story to so many people#and hell i want to actually understand why some of it is Bad (for lack of a better word)#and not just take the word of random internet strangers as objective truth without further investigation#because thats the opposite of using my critical thinking skills#if you think reading media with some shitty stuff in it makes you a Bad Person just by exposure well idk why youre still following me anywa#but yea heres your warning that i will become aware of homestuck if thats something you cant stand#even though the likelihood of me blogging about it is slim#and if i do ill probably like. make a sideblog so people who really dont like it can avoid it.#MAN. okay. sorry for the disclaimer im just worried people are gonna think im an idiot or something and send me condescending asks#or assume the worst about me as a person#because. internet.
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in MDZS the novel, the innkeeper in Yunping mentions that people are too scared to go petition Yunmeng Jiang for help because someone once walked in on Sect Leader Jiang whipping a guy in the main hall, supposedly because the guy was a demonic cultivator.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#jc apologism#anyways as you can hopefully tell by now this is a jc stan blog.#so as a stan i will do my rightful stan duty and insist that my fave did nothing wrong#so. onwards. the “jiang cheng tortures demonic cultivators” claim is interesting on several levels#because we don't see it happen onscreen. and because thematically mdzs is a book about the unreliability of rumors#especially when said rumors conform to your preexisting understanding of someone. or what you want to hear about someone#it would have been so easy for mxtx to include a scene where jc tortures a demonic cultivator onscreen. i would love to read it too#but that doesnt happen. when jc actually corners wwx he just shoves a dog in his face and bullies him emotionally#smh jc get your shit together!! what is this lame ass display?? not living up to your reputation here loser#anyways. tbh i consider two things separately: 1. mxtx's intentions. and 2. what the text itself implies#for 1. i am legitimately unsure of what to think. mxtx relies on rumors/empathy/etc to give us info about side characters#in part because she's constrained herself to writing from wwx's perspective and has no other easy way of getting the info to us#does she intend for us to question the rumors? or are we supposed to take them as fact because of the narration limits described?#2. what the text itself implies is not necessarily the same as what mxtx intends.#for me mdzs is in part a story about the unreliability of rumors and reputation etc etc. other meta writers than i have explained it better#so for the work to go “all the rumors about wwx were exaggerated/manipulated/not 100% correct.”#“but the rumors about everyone else are 100% true!!!!!”#is peak stupidity. and shit-tier writing#and i actually like mdzs so i would like to believe the writer is more intelligent than that#thus. i conclude in part due to this emotional necessity of mine that there must have been something more going on#anyways. i have similar opinions about the “did jiggy kill rusong” business but that's a post for later#ill probably put my jc torture opinions in their own post some day#yanyan polls
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btw like, if we are mutuals or even just been following me for a while, you can literally always ask me to promo something. like donation posts or commission sheets, even your art or writing or something, i’d be so so so down to reblog it! i know this blog has a relatively large following for the gt fandom, and i’d love to use that for good !
#even if you’re nervous to ask pls. u can just send me the post if u wanna#i realized i dont reblog a ton of stuff and i wanna do that more. i wanna hype others up more#ive finally accepted that im something of a fixture in this community. and i will b using that for good#also dw ill probably wind up tagging and queueing promos so it wont be a sudden flood on my blog#but uh yeah. let me hype up ur stuff. pls 🥺 you deserve it
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hey this is a long shot but ill draw a one character fullbody flat colored cleaned up sketch like the things above for anyone who wants to give me 15,000 treasure in flight rising i need to expand my lair, i can finish the art today 👍
#laika's comet#bg3 tav#(for the white dragonborn her name is asphodel)#anthro#fursona#sfw furry#(for the pink cat who is one of my sonas)#original characters#oc#flight rising#flightrising#commission opening#for furries i draw mostly planti humanoids but i can Try digi and ferals im just warning that i dont do that often#and thus dont have good examples and im not super good at it lmao#i consider myself good at fat characters bc im fat myself and have fat friends and usually use myself and my friends as ref for studies#i draw a LOT of fat characters#plus size art#plus size artist#i can draw thin characters too tho as you can see#i also love drawing characters sleeping as you can see from my blog. more examples on my blog btw but theyre mostly not colored#wtf else do i tag this#yew art#also if you want to give me More treasure on flight rising in order to get more art or art of characters interacting we can work something#out#(ran out of space in that tag lmao)#this is probably gonna stay open bc im pretty much always in need of treasure in that game lmao im trying to upgrade all my stuff#but only this one can be done same day. probably.#just reply and ill dm you but ill also open my dms for people to dm me first if i can figure out how to do it on mobile im bad with tech lol
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dol schoolboys but how i picture them in my mindpalace
#my art#degrees of lewdity#dol#sydney the faithful#sydney the fallen#robin the orphan#kylar the loner#whitney the bully#DUDE this took me so long to draw but i was possessed by some outside force to make it#since i was going through the dol tag on this bad boy (tumblr) and i was like I WANT TO DRAW THEM TOO#so i did#and i finally decided to use this blog for something#because it was like so empty before and my art was old and so it was like whatever ill just do a whole upheaval#dol is fun i like it#ALSO i play the game with all boys because im. gay#sorry if anyone wants me to draw them as girls feel free to send in an ask#oh also kylar has a mole under his eye and Acne and robin has a mole on his neck and Freckles#i hope i made that clear enough 😖#anyways HI DOL FANDOM#if i keep talking ill probably end up making these tags a whole page longer so thats it sorry#OH I THINK THAT i gave sydney his roots showing because i think its CUTE OKAY. thats it promise. thats all. bye#RBS off because my art is better now i want to remake this once i have the designs finalized
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I lied. Death time
#art#help how do i anatomy#have a nice death#have a nice death art#yeahh i dunno. just felt like drawing himb.#been playing the game a bit. i got addicted so ive had to put it down for now. or at least limit my hours.#the have a nice death discord is super cool tho. specially if you need help with sometjing#useful because its got a lot smaller fanbase than others so i go to them if i need help with something#uhm. ive just been in a bit of a . decline lately? dunno what it is lol. been burnt out#ill be fine dw ! it happens sometimes. judt need to figure out whats bothering me cuz even im not sure#probably just me feeling obligated to draw only like. three things for my art blog instead of. yknow. doing what i want#which is completely my fault but i know people dont like my other art ad much as hk or sky. it. bums me out#which again!! is on me! im so glad people like that art i! i just need to get out of the mindset. its hard though#i guess posting this is breaking the cycle a bit huh#hehe
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good enough for now. night
#not a poll#every time i queue something i get so scared i accidentally just immediately posted it#what would i even do. delete the poll? pretend im just doing a special extra poll for no reason?#lie on the floor and cry?#that last one probably#ill actually do some work on the blog tomorrow... i need to put everything submitted in the past few days into my spreadsheet#and also i have some marked for further verification#ie anything that linked a youtube video bc i was already using both my monitors lol#(to be clear it's fine to submit a youtube video)#(i would prefer at least some text though so i can copy/paste it instead of summarizing myself :P)
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in the pokemon brain zone once again
ok so i feel like larry is honestly just something something overqualified meme of just being stuck in pokemon training
like, he was initially having fun with the whole pokemon raising and training thing, hell, using the geeta rival headcanon maybe she was his rival who got him involved. he grew up and was invited to be a gym leader and he was, obviously a good battler. inviting the area zero sorts of headcanon he has a very important role and would have to be a really skilled trainer. but its just like, not really any sort of passion anymore. like, either between the mental illness feels burnout or just, growing out of the phase, he only really keeps doing it because its just his most stable option and well if it aint broke dont fix it.
like i think hes grown past some jaded views he might have had towards being a league member, seen the job for what it is, and its gone from dream job to just... what gets the bills paid.
man im so close to derailing this post into my anti capitalism rant but rlly i just think larrys an old prune whos just not into the job anymore but trying to move on and do anything else is just not viable in this economy, hed have to start from zero relevant experience again and thats just not realistic.
#not regarding my old essay in this one from my main.....ill probably still rewrite it tbh#which. i may or may not be trying to write a sort of larry fic#ive shuffled between a reader or a character/oc x larry (even if the character is rlly just an excuse to not do a reader insert)#i wont finish it but hey lol#what ive been doing instead of artfight playing sv#pokemon#pokemon larry#larry pokemon#gym leader larry#elite four larry#pokemon scarvi#pokemon analysis#so yes i do use this blog 💜#not exactly an in depth analysis just something i noticed#not this one at least#looking at YOU OLD RANT I HATE#thats way too popular....hellworld for me Specifically#🌌sleeptalkings#🌌holding reality
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I would like to state for the record that I love and respect the librarians at my uni so if they decide to strike me down for requesting approximately 50 books--like half of those via Interlibrary Loan--in the course of the past of 2 hours, that is their right
#to add insult to injury today is TECHNICALLY the first day of campus being shut down for winter break#met the ILL librarian for the first time in September and she was like 'oh YOU'RE Prof. [Queenie]!'#yeah sorry about the constant crimes I am doing. can you find this extremely niche DVD published in Hong Kong in 1997 tho#Queenie actually says something on this blog#what is my academic life#before you decide to come at me like 'libraries are meant to be used!' yes I know. I in fact grew up in public libraries#my first move whenever arriving at a new academic institution is to try to ingratiate myself with the librarians#but some things probably need an apology attached (I did write several 'do not stress if you can't find this' notes in my ILL requests)
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going through it lately. and by it? i mean absolutely nothing actually.
#guys i need therapy#not that itll work#it wont#the last one didnt#and the ones before didnt but my mom only let me do one or two session each for those so i dont fault them#its been years tho so maybe?#idfk#i dont really care#i do#i probably do im just tired#yall know what type of tired#ugh i should really keep my vent posts to my vent blog so people dont have to see them#<- has made many vent posts here and actually not used the vent blog in months#my foot just fell asleep#yall lukcy i dont have a gun#i lied about quiting my job btw#something came up and it got complicated#it might turn out good tho#probably not#but if it does i might be able to move out and room with my oldest friend#oldest as in time known#not age (im older by like four months hehe(and like a head shorter but we dont talk about that shh))#but that would also mean rent which means philly will take a lot longer#and also ill have to look for shops in a whole other city so im putting off quiting for another month or two or three maybe#i dont like change. i dont like genuinely regularly thinking 'id rather die' to things that i really do want#tw vent#thats probably important#i dont like decisions#did you guys know Animal Jam got shut down?#i miss my necklace. everything else seems so- not barbaric but maybe unclean. which i guess is appropriate
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gonna maybe be away for a lil bit (I say maybe because it really depends on my brain’s temperment)
currently fighting some darkness atm that won’t fucking stop (I’m okay, though, I swear, but its been all fucking day and I need to sleep and I can’t because thoughts)
leave a message after the beep
#i might stop in to like and reblog random things here and there#but ill probably stick to dash rather than digging through blogs like i usually do#anyway#autism adhd and c-ptsd is such a fucking shit hand like cash me tf out ON FUCKING-#like already have emotion regulation problems that gets worsened by it#(it being ptsd)#adhd already brings an endless monologue so ptsd goes ‘oh hey..gimme da aux for a bit’ and plays THE MOST VILE SHIT#ON REPEAT#also the impulsivity omfg#im already terrible and use it to distract whenever i can#but its like im also telling myself i need to because i need to get away from this#but instead of buying things i feel like i want to do something ‘worse’ and i…like actually don’t wanna#anyway idk im really sorry for all the negative posting lately#ibut also this is my home so :(#i started a side blog to actually scream in a void but its kind of odd still tbh and that’s a tangent anyways#im still holding myself to shipping things tho! so I will be reaching out to y’all when i get material wooo#(hopefully next week or the following~)#im hoping that this is just pmdd flaring my ptsd#because then its temporary#BUT OMG WHY WONT MY MEDICINE WORK I HATE YOU PMDD 😭#oh…yeah…sorry#beeeeep
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so tumblr just recommend a terf post to me, supposedly ‘based on my likes!’…. tumblr please tell me what the hell I liked, so I can unfucking like it.
Anyways while we’re here, a reminder, transphobes/terfs/radfems you are not welcome on my blog please fuck off
#tw transphobes#tw transphobia#taking a moment to rant in the tags because look#look#i KNOW you should just block and move on and that looking at the person’s blog will only make you made for no reason#….but this one was particularly fucking stupid and infuriating so now here we are#like sometimes people’s bios are just wild#like bro how the fuck can you be asexual and autistic and physically disabled and then still say shit like ‘trans people are mentally ill’#like are you fucking kidding me#and to specifically ask people to please be patient when talking to you because you’re autistic#but then have a whole blog dedicated to hateful gross bullshit ???#and to shit on people when they’re like hey that’s not correct ???#also how the fuck can the first line of your pinned post be ‘idc what pronouns you use for me but I’m female’ ??#what the fuck#also guys according to the terfs if you identify with the term queer you’re actually straight#and the only people who use the term are fem afabs who exclusively date masc amabs and want to feel special so some shit#fuck it’s 4am I’m too tired for this shit it’s making my brain hurt#anyway if you’re trans you’re welcome on this blog if you identify as queer you are welcome on this blog#if you ever see me reblog something were you know op is actually a terf lmk so I can delete and block them#this is probably riddled with spelling errors and typos but I’m tired and idc right now
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Mr Gatto, do you like doing your job? Is it something you enjoy doing?
(Also take care of yourself Mun! :D)
Even after everything... I don't think I will be changing my job anytime soon.
#identity v#aesop carl#identity v embalmer#identity v ask blog#identity v the embalmer#gatto event#hi anon thanks for the concern XD#im doing alright i just have this insane depressive block that has been impeding y creative processes#so ive been trying a lot of things to get out of it#one option is to wait it out but im miserable doing nothing. so i will force it out and feel slightly better that at least i did something#i probably should have spaced oout my posts i clear the inbox really really quickly#ill try to get some stuff out while i can. since im free for the month before work resumes n i disappear again#seriously though its frustrating sitting down staring at a blank canvas for 10 mins with 0 ideas and low energy#and then resigning myself to going back to lying down and mindlessly scrolling twitter or whatever#every single time i try to do something i end up back on my bed. for days on end. it makes me want to throw myself down a flight of stairs#at least with asks i have something to work towards and thats so much better even if i do end up back on the bed afterwards#this sounds like a very pathetic show of begging for asks. which i guess it is???#its just that. i used to have so many ideas. i used to draw so many comics. i want to cry every time i compare that with myself now#has work killed off so much of my creativity? probably. but i just really want it back. so im trying my best#i didnt mean to get this emotional in the tags but this is really something ive been struggling with a lot right now#so if u have the time to spare. just drop something dumb in my inbox. it helps a great deal. much greater than i can express#but anyway if ur reading this im still very grateful for the support u have shown to the blog in one way or another.#so thank you very much n i hope the day will treat you kindly#less than three
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& what if your only assigned role is emotional support. & what if your only value as a person is based upon how you can be a rock for other people even when you’re hollow and fragile inside. You can’t crumble you can’t break and you can’t ever let anyone know. If they know they’ll ignore it or they’ll hate it. What then. What’s worse. I think you just do what a rock does best and sit there and wait to be eroded by time and nature until your instability is revealed to the world. Or maybe you get hit by a hammer or some other blunt object. The end result is the same. I’d like to think that one day you can repair yourself on your own and nobody will ever need to know but sometimes that’s just not feasible. Which do you fear more, a yes that leads to a dead end or a no that endangers the last thing you hold dear.
#MAN. (horse photo) dot jpg.#u know when ur engaging in some behaviors and it becomes so incredibly clear that none of the people you see regularly#have listened to the rare instances of vulnerability you’ve shown while knowing them#and so what you’re doing goes over their head? and maybe it’s not obvious. i hold no ill will.#it’s easier to believe someone is happy. because unloading your emotional woes on them is easier.#& I’m not blameless here the behavior will have splash damage. probably. i don’t know.#the problem with someone being invested in you when your attentions are elsewhere is that you deny their behavior and motives until you’ve#inevitably exploded everything around you. but. that’s a problem for the me of uhhh. I’ll give it 6 months.#but maybe if you fake it and lie you reach the point where you’re not doing it for everyone else#you can trick yourself into believing you feel something too.#whatevrrr I don’t care anymore. goes to watch videos of apes online.#obligatory I’m not a danger to myself and others I just use this blog as a diary occasionally.
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