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e-icreator23 · 4 months

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TW: Disturbing topics; Mentions of Blood/Harm

So had more of a nightmare I guess last night.

This time I was with my friends and it was cool at the beginning. For some reason we stayed at the hotel and it looks off. Not like other haunted houses but really off. Either way we got a pretty big room even for a hotel and decided that bow we were paranormal investors so brought out devices. I felt that I was targeted, that something. Really wanted to hurt me and hurt me bad. The ones who were there was that same girl who I was with in other dreams, N, B,J, for some reason, a teacher that we knew (it was a guy), another girl but she seemed more crazy and excited and I think Gand maybe JJ too. The majority of us were just sitting on the carpet and I was looking around the room. There was only one light on in the whole room but where I was at, you couldn't really see me. I don't know why but I started to feel that something was slithering around so looked around. The girl (with long hair) noticed that I was like this and quietly asked what was wrong. I looked at her and saw that the room was infested in snakes. They looks like a weird dark tan but they were trying to bite. A few of us did get bit and that included me. I was bit twice, one on my hand and one at my ankle but someone passed our. After we ran out of there. The Crazy one giggled a little and pointed to a place that kinda looked like a shrine. She ran to it and the Long haired girl said to stop, the other one said we were chickens. We all went uneasy and saw the shrine. It wasn't really a shrine however. There was a wooden box there with two small wooden doors on a concrete block. We stared at it confused on why it was there but when one of us tried to walk by it, it opened and has a small doll inside. It was bald, old, and very dirty with cracks under its eyes. But it was facing me and pointing at me. The others looked at me confused and I think N asked if I did something bad. I said no that I hadn't done anything bad tk no spirit or person. The Long haired girl held my arm very tight during this and whispered that she was nervous. I had my phone with me and a selfie stick so decided to start recording to see what I will get but had her hold my had during this time. Thr Crazy one came back and she pointed to a large opening going down into somewhere. She said she was looking around but had barely noticed this part and we should all go together on this. The other took out their phones and others with flashlights and we did go down. The Long haired girl kept her girl and it was getting tighter as we went down. I smelled something bad and asked them but they didn't smell anything. I was even more on edge but we cma down to the bottom of the stairs and saw there where huge tunnels. Jesus spotted a map and said for us to check it out. It was a maze but at the bottom of it, their were scratch marks and biges ones at that. We looked behind us but the entrance had been blocked off or that's how it looked. We were hesitant to even check. The Crazy one lead the group but even she had lost some of her enthusiasm for this place. I kept recording and on some walls, I could see writing that the others couldn't see and some of the were cut off messages. I asked for the Long hair girls phone to take pictures of what I saw and it did show up and she can see them too so Ithought everyone could see them. I ran up to G and showed him some of the pictures. He was surprised because no one can see the writings on the walls. Ipointed to one and they all said they only see concrete with no writing. The Long haired girl and I looked at each other worried and heard distant screaming and moans from all around so we stayed near N. After taking a few turns, there was another flight of stairs and we went down them. Ihad this pain in my head and chest and said outlook 'ow' and they asked fi I was ok. I just said it's my usual pains but I have a bad feeling. At the very bottom of it, it was a huge tunnel and had lights from somewhere, we didn't know where. The Crazy one said something, naming it but Ican't remember what she called it.

It was covered in dried blood from the floor to all the way in the top. We found a huge room in the middle of it. There was a few more tunnels around that all connected and came back to this main area so we split up. Everyone was taking videos and saying how creepy and cool this is. One tunnel and it was the biggest one than all the other ones beside the one we came through. It drew me in for a unsettling reason, I wanted to know why there was distant screams, cut off carvings, blood everywhere, and why that doll was pointing at me. The Long hair girl and I went and I pointed my phone at other carvings but then out of nowhere, I felt chains being put around me, instead of normal color, everything turned read and back and felt like the world around me was moving fast. Things were rushing and I saw people as silhouettes running and screaming. They screamed that there is an evil they released and it shall roam here to find its chosen one. They I see them getting killed all so brutally. But i couldn't see who was doing the killing, what wa the evil that as doing this. Then it felt like it was falling down with the chains dragging me down faster. The world turned on it's side and Iheard the others screaming in fear and running away but also asking questions to each other in whispers. The I saw the Long haired girl face contort to a horrified scream but she was crying. Then an eye and teeth come from behind and bit my neck, scratched my back and what ever it was, it was pulling at my jaw. I heard laughing and screaming then the Long haired girls voice saying my name. She had to punch me for me to look at her. She was crying and asking what's wrong since my eyes turned to a a black red color.

I looked behind me and I was still in the same tunnel. But now the blood looked like huge cracks leading somewhere. The cameras wasn't recording and an error message showed. I looked at the error and that the very corner it said you. Istated to record again and this time Iwas recording me an her and Iexplained what Isaw. After Iwas done, she explained how she saw me acting. She said that I stopped what I was doing and looked up a little. The my eyes turned to the black red color but I said something, but then sounded like I couldn’t breathe right, that something was squeezing me. Then she sees huge bite marks on my neck and then that's when she punched me. Iwas terrified and we ran out of there. The others were still looking around but noticed that we had ran out. They came over go ask what's wrong and J pointed out that much neck, head, and back were bleeding bad. They all looked and the teacher quickly told me to take off the sweater and for the Long haired girl go help me bandage up. She did and they took a picture and B got my phone to show what happened to my back on video. They were deep scratch marks. Another error code came up and again I looked at the corner. It said are. We quickly tried to find a way out if there but again the same thing happened. I saw more of what was going on them and saw the doll looking at me and in another language it said something. They punched me again and said Ihave a huge slash on my arm and across my face. They had already bandaged it when the saw it. We started to run and we did find a opening up. I heard a huge scream but it wasn't a human scream, it was something else but we didn't look back. The Long haired girl cries saying shew a bleeding too so we carried her up. We opened the doors fast and jumped outside and closed the door as fast as we could. We were all out of breath and laid on the grass for a while. We were still at the hotel and looked around but it looked nicer than before. Not so many rundown doors and had lights on outside. It didn't have that before but we were just lived from being in there. I looked around and saw that there was a puddle and didn't think it was that so touched it. The smell of blood came to me and Ilooked up. Another tunnel. I looked at them and said that this is fresh blood. Then a laugh came and then darkness. Then I woke up.

Please if you want to respond the please do since this did affect me pretty bad and so I can try and find out what it means

#ei #my dreams #my art #my artwork #digital drawing #digital artwork #digital art #traditional drawing #traditional art

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rawrambles · 10 months

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I was in the winter of my life

And the men I met along the road were my only summer

At night I fell asleep with visions of myself dancing and laughing and crying with them

Three years down the line of being on an endless world tour and my memories of them were the only things that sustained me And my only real happy times

i was a singer

Not a very popular one

I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet But upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky

That I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken

But I didn't really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what true freedom is When the people I used to know found out what

Ihad been doing how I had been living, they asked me why, but there's no use in talking to people who have a home

They have no idea what its like to seek safety in other people

For home to be wherever you lie your head

i was always an unusual girl

My mother told me that I had a chameleon soul

No moral compass pointing due north

No fixed personality

Just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean

And if I said I didn't plan for it to turn out this way l'd be lying Because I was born to be the other woman Who belonged to no one Who belonged to everyone

Who had nothing

Who wanted everything

With a fire for every experience and an

obsession for freedom that terrified me to the

point that I couldn't even talk about it

And pushed me to a nomadic point of madness

that both dazzled and dizzied me

-Dasia O

#spilled poetry #poems on tumblr #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #poetry #spilled thoughts #spilled words #lost love #my words #writing #teen writer #2014 tumblr #rhyme #jounral

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secondfuckingguessing · 11 months

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Oct 23rd

I slept rather poorly for the first time since getting back from NY. I woke up in the middle of the night and had weird dreams, kinda centered around my father.

First, there were two cats. Don't ask me where they came from. They just popped out of nowhere and I wasn't even sure they were real. One of them was orange and white, the other one was a female, long haired and grayish, very affectionate and would follow me everywhere. Both slept in the bed with me, although it was the old house that had belonged to my grandma snd i was in my sister's bed. I showed my mother the cat and she said it was cute. She just asked if my father would let me have it, something that had been worrying me. Knowing him, of course not. My best option would be hiding them somehow. He wasn't home and i planned on getting food right after school so he wouldn't know.

I wake up.

The second leg was even weirder. I was traveling. Guilherme was there, but i was waiting for ana b to join us. She would soon. Guilherme paid her hotel and i paid him. 500 dollars. Ihad just paid him 500 and needed to get more money. Ana sent a message she was there, but it seemed a place well known to us, like a boarding school maybe. Then i started worrying about the 500 dollars. Seemed a lot for her to have booked a different room in a place she had a dormitory. As i thought about it, my father started calling me. Suddenly a lot of people i knew were there. He wanted me to take a photo for him, but i was going in the opposite direction trying to figure out the situation. I said I was busy. He started screaming. I said i wouldn't go, i was busy. He called me names loud for everyone to hear. Called me a bitch. It made me crazy. I went up to him and said he was crazy, that I felt ashamed of him and what was wrong with him. My uncle was around but pretended not to hear. My father started screaming he hadn't done anything, he was no traitor. He seemed possessed. He had rotten black teeth. I said no one had mentioned betrayal, he must have a heavy conscience. His friends from college were there. Everyone just watched. Then it was over.

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thorntonkrell-blog-blog · 2 years

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We all have our secrets. Writers have secrets too. I'm gonna locate my darkest secret and then I'm going to dump the truth on you and you'll think I must be who you now suspect I am because after all, I wrote it didn't I?

Renditions on this concerns came up all the time when I was teaching Creative Writing. Student writers were always wondering how much of themselves they dare to reveal, probably half afraid that someone would read what they wrote and hightail it to the guidance counselor and somehow all of this would end up in the dreaded "permanent record".

This is what I would tell my young writers.

Sometimes writers choose the third person and create a fictional character to reveal truths and secrets about themselves.

Sometimes writers choose the first person and write fiction that has nothing to do with themselves.

Sometimes he is I and sometimes I am she and sometimes we are all together and waiting for a moment to arrive.

In other words, unless a writer tells you the experience is a their true experience, we should hold back on assuming that it is. I don't think Steve King has murdered anybody.

Even when a writer claims an experience....well the whole thing might be fiction especially if the writer him or herself is using a pen name which implies that the writer him or herself is fictional as well as the characters created although many an unauthorized biography has been written by someone pretending to be who they weren't and let's not even get into ghost writing where the writer isn't even the writer.

Still writing in the first person can be risky as all writers know. We can leave our notes behind. Someone picks up our notes, jumps to conclusions and well, a lot can happen.

Here's what happened to me twenty years ago.

I was reading about the death of Kurt Cobain. At the same time I was restudying Hamlet. I thought that I would take what Ihad learned about the death of Cobain and mix that with Hamlet's soliloquy and mix that with a switch in point of view see if it might turn into something.

This is what I wrote.

Should I put up with this crap or not. Is it slacker to keep getting nailed by the ups and downs of my ridiculous luck or should I just pick up a gun and end it all. So I die, I step off so big wow and in that zonk I can forget about all the fame and the phonies and divorces and stomachaches and heroin and all that jazz...just zzz out like I do every day of my life and dream like I do every night.

But there's a problem

What kind of trip do you take when you're chilled max. It's wondering about those dead dreams that makes us put up with all this crap and live to be senile drainers because who would put up with all the jocks, the sellouts, the heartache of loving someone who don't love you who actually hates you; the judges and the bosses and the big shots and geting crapped on by jerks when you can just take out this gun and finish the deal.

Who's actually baked enough to sweat this life out except that we're afraid of the reaper; afraid of the dirt sleep from which no dude ever returns, We don't know what that gig is like so we stick with our familiar contract rather than sign up for the mystery tour.

The more we think, the more freaked we become. The hook of action becomes fogged with the shadow of grunge so we endure all of this temporary crap until we put down the gun.

Usually.

That's the mix from as well as I could mix it coming from it the point of view of a troubled, talented soul way beyond my pay grade. I liked it. I went down to the Xerox room to make a couple of copies, one of which I sent in as a letter to the editor of our local paper the Democrat and Chronicle.

These were the dark, almost unimaginable days before email.

About an hour after my trip to the Xerox room, a knock came on my classroom door. One of my colleagues from the Math Department wondered if he could talk to me for a minute...it was kind of important.

I stepped out into the hallway. My dear colleague said, "Ice, we've known each other for a long time, haven't we?"

I said, "uh huh.'

With a wildly compassionate and nervous look on his grill he said, "are you allright."

I said, "I think so. Why do you ask?"

He hesiiated and then answered, "I was in the Xerox room making copies and I found this which you left on the copier."

And with that he whipped out the original copy of my piece on Cobain and Hamlet as if it were a subpoena or smoking gun.

All of a sudden, I realized my colleague had come to the conclusion that I was on smack, hated everybody and might have a gun in my pocket.

After all, he knew I was divorced and had a beard so he was putting two and two together and getting five.

I took the original copy and tried to explain the creative exercise in composition, point of view and empathy that had created it. In two minutes I tried to explain Hamlet, Cobain and the similarity between "should I put up with this crap" to "to be or not to be".

I watched his realization melt away some of the edge from his nervousness.

The compassion remained.

He was a good man, probably doing what a good man must do when a good man finds himself in a situation like this good man had found himself in the Xerox room,

The story of this good man is a perfect example of exactly what I mean when I say that writers have to be careful when they use the first person in a story.

My letter to the editor was selected, published and went on to win a Golden Pen Award.

My colleague retired before I did.

I'd see him every once in a while at a grocery store or at the mall.

He always asked me, "how are you."

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emocatkeith · 4 years

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yeah, count the ways was a pretty cool story

#i still cannot get over how sadistic funtime freddy is #i genuinely forgot he and the other funtimes were made to kill kids #so like holy shit dude i thought ihad some weird hyperfixations but #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf sister location #sister location #fnaf count the ways #fazbear frights #fnaf 5 #funtime freddy #bonbon #tw blood #it honestly looks like smeared lipstick though #also thats a fuck ton of tags holy shit #my art

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svartalfhild · 2 years

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The fact that there is a SEVERE lack of Ashton x Laudna headcanons/support after this recent episode PAINS ME.

Come on!

The emotionally charged insistence to be willing to do ANYTHING to bring her back?

The clear reluctance of leaving her when others called for help?

The continual quietly bringing up seeking out the person who already “owns” him because of their debt because he’s perfectly happy to get even deeper if it means they can see Laudna as a living and happy person again?

I could go on, but there is SO MUCH breadcrumbs Talisen is feeding the critters that is going ignored!

It doesn’t help that last night Ihad a dream that Ashton is finally confessing to Laudna of their feelings and it’s so painfully sweet and romantic and heartfelt, only she gets a little distracted because she somehow can turn invisible now and she’s super excited about it, and while Ashton is jokingly wondering to himself why they are in love with this goofball, she surprises him with a little kiss on the lips and wanders off giggling to show everyone else her new trick, while Ashton is hilariously rooted to the spot staring after her, his lips curiously dyed a similar dark inky color to Laudna’s magic goop 😅

I feel you, Anon. I think a lot of people are too focused on Laudna's bond with Imogen to consider Ashton, who so obviously cares deeply about Laudna in ways he doesn't about any of the other Bells Hells, even FCG, whom he's known the longest. He goes out of his way to look out for her. He pays attention to her. He always notices when she's having a hard time and tries to help her. He tells her he likes her, all of her, and has made that clear repeatedly since day one.

All of that is remarkable enough, considering Ashton's attitudes towards attachment and most other people generally, but their reaction to Laudna's death is truly significant and revealing. This crotchety, abrasive punk, who went through so much to get free of Hexum, said they would be happy to be immediately plunged back into debt if it would save Laudna's life, without a moment's hesitation. They are desperate not to lose her. "We will fucking fix this." You could not have a clearer indication that Laudna means the world to them. God the "tell Hexum I will doing anything" fucking broke me.

I'm also kind of obsessed with how Ashton's behaviour runs parallel to Imogen's. Imogen is the recognized Closest Person To Laudna™, but so much of Ashton's behaviour shows he's just as devastated as her, though he processes it differently. I think the best moment that illustrates that is when he wants to put her in the hole to protect her body and Imogen snaps at him to carry her. He's thinking of the most practical way to keep Laudna's body from harm, because the more quickly and efficiently he can handle everything, then the faster Laudna can be saved, but Imogen's thinking of it as undignified, Laudna's body deserving more than to be thrown in a hole. And then Ashton sees Imogen's point immediately and carries Laudna without argument, because they both want Laudna to have everything she is due. And neither of them wanna leave her. And oh man the bit where Ashton asked Imogen to trust them, like they're asking her if she trusts that they'll do anything for Laudna and never do anything to intentionally hurt or disrespect her.

I super need to see Ashton contribute to Laudna getting resurrected, because I very much want to hear what he'd have to say to her to coax her soul back to her body.

Anyway! Thank you for popping in, Anon. That's a lovely dream and I severely hope we get to see some cute moments with them in the future.

#Critical Role #CR Ashna #CR Gravestone #Ashton x Laudna #Laudna x Ashton #CR spoilers #ask

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jihyolegend · 7 years

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“Entertainingly, way we comfort each other & receive comfort are all different. So I always have 7 diverse and good solutions next to me all the time.”

#yuri #snsd #femaleidolsedit #girls generation #snsdedit #kwon yuri #okay now i'm really confused #this is totally different than yoona's and tiff's asldfhawkef #**#10th #10th*#hn*#yuri*#like this looks like what i'm assuming the teasers are as well -- all night #and yoona and tiff's other teasers that were released later on both have different outfits and that yellow filter which i assumed was holida #but yuri is abck in the all night look #sm explain #okay her actual quote is translated now ahhaa ihad it wrong sorry #it's also really sweet

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dameronology · 3 years

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let's fall in love for tonight {javier pena}

summary: based on the song let's fall in love for tonight by finneas but also a little on yellow by coldplay (for @walt-breslin - i hope you enjoy!!)

warnings: language, mentions of drinking and smoking, alludes to javier's...adult hobbies but really nothing serious or explicit!! but pls still read at ur own discretion :)

enjoy!! - jazz xx

Love snuck up on you.

It came outta nowhere, from a dark corner, lingering in the shadows like a monster. Perhaps that's an ugly metaphor for a phenomenon that many considered to be one of the best in the world, but for you, it was just...well, it was fucking inconvenient. Having friendships in your line of work was hard as it was, and to have it evolve into something so deeply complicated didn't entirely make your life easier. It slowly but surely seeped into the little cracks in your life - those empty moments of staring at the ceiling, the quiet days where the chilled atmosphere over Colombia felt a bit off - and gave you something to think about in the moments that your brain found itself going in circles.

When you met Javier Pena, he was...indescribable. Maybe in a good way, maybe in a bad way. Aside from having a moustache and fucking illegible handwriting, there was nothing that separated him from the other 20 DEA agents that you worked with everyday. You had no reason to talk to him, or to even look at him. He wasn't particularly approachable, and you had no reason to work together.

Being forced onto the night shift together was the catalyst for your friendship. He was grumpy. You were grumpy. It worked.

Once you got past his hard shell - and the other twelve hard shells that followed - you got to know the real Agent Pena. The one who insisted that you called him Javi, and the one that drove you home and made sure that you weren't struggling at work. The one that you had actual, raw chemistry with. Above all, it was the side of him that almost nobody saw. It was his own weird form of flattery.

That was how you remembered it: one minute you were friends, and the next you were sitting on his balcony at 3AM, eyes staring out to the flickering lights of the city. One thing you'd noticed about Colombia was that the sky was never quite dark. There was always an orange or pink tint, almost like a physical embodiment of the way the thick heat clung to the air of the night, smothering the entire place in a suffocating choke-hold. Despite that, the night still smelt fresh, save for the scent of your badly rolled cigarette dangling from your hand.

It wasn't like you to smoke six in a row but it was a last ditch attempt to try and clear the air of the smell of Javi's aftershave. Which was ironic, really, because you were on his balcony in his apartment. He'd gone to sleep long ago, with a soft kiss pressed to the side of your head as you promised that you'd see yourself out after finishing up on your case files. IHad you done that? Obviously fucking not. Instead, you'd stolen some of his most expensive scotch and poured a much bigger glass than necessary.

Being in love with Javier was hard.

Hard, because you had to see him everyday and wrestle with your growing feelings. Hard, because he seemed to have a revolving door of people coming in and out of his bedroom and they weren’t you. It didn’t take a fool to know that your friendship meant a thousand times more to Javi than any of his flings but that was just it: friendship. It was more than anyone else ever bloody got but it didn’t feel like it was enough. You wanted all of him. You loved all of him, from the cold sense of humour to the deeper layers of his humanity that just wanted to do the right thing.

Taking one last drag, you stubbed out the last of your smoke and tried to ignore the dry feeling in your mouth. Seriously, how the fuck did Javi get through twenty of these a day? He normally got arsey at anyone who stole his cigarettes - so that’s probably why’d you done it. To add a little bit of spice, since he hadn’t picked a fight with you in a few days and you missed sparring with him.

“It’s 1AM,” the sound of Javi’s voice from behind you made you jump.

You glanced over your shoulder at him. “Well done. Telling the time is an important skill.”

“Ouch,” he gave you a nudge as he walked past you, circling around to sit beside you. “What’s on your mind?”

You.

“Nothing,” you glanced over at him, “just work.”

“Do you ever turn off?”

Only when I’m with you.

“How can I?” you asked.

His brown eyes met yours and he held your gaze for a moment. You knew the kinds of things that they’d seen - they were a little more tired than you’d first met, too. It wasn’t noticeable to anyone but you but perhaps that was it. You saw things in him that nobody else did - and he saw things in you too. Where some agents discouraged you and tossed you off to the side, Javi always had you in first positions. These days, he called you more than he called Murphy.

“You can try now,” he suggested. “Just...breathe.”

“All I can smell is tobacco.” You snorted.

“And whose fault is that?” he nudged you. “And you owe me a new pack by the way.”

“Mmm, I don’t think so,” you shook your head. “You should try and quit anyway. Nobody will want to go for a man who smells like an ashtray.”

“Really?” he snorted. “I haven’t had any complaints so far.”

“They can’t complain because you’re paying-”

“- what has gotten into you today?” Javi cut you off. “You’re being mean.”

“Sorry,” you murmured. “I’m just...cranky. I should probably head home anyways. It’s late.”

“Yeah, too late,” he replied. “Stay here tonight.”

You wanted to inwardly laugh at that. Would he have asked you the same if he’d had a woman in his bed? Or would he make you find your own way home? At what point did he prioritise you over the people he slept with? It was something you didn’t want to think about - making him choose between you and his vices. It was moments like that made you even question why you loved him so fucking much. Because aside from his good looks and what were clearly some very skilled hands, what did he have going for him? He was mean most of the time, and he barely paid attention to anyone or did as they said. A lot of the time he was no better than the men on the opposite side of his gun.

But you knew that wasn’t true. You could tell yourself that a thousand times over - and you knew that Javi certainly fucking did - but it wouldn’t change a thing. Because yes he was rude and yes he was moody as hell, but he was also kind and caring and sweet in his own weird way. He looked after you without thinking and he went out his way to make you smile. Everytime your eyes met across the room, he would pull a silly face at you, and sometimes he would sneak salt into Murphy’s coffee just to get a reaction out of you.

He had your heart. He was your heart. You were quite fucked.

“Javi…” you trailed off.

“Yeah?” he glanced over at you again. “What is it?”

You paused, pondering for a moment. The words were on the tip of your tongue; a declaration of love, a statement that could change things for the better or worse. You’d held onto them for so long; held them so close to your heart and clung onto them for dear life. Once they were out there, they were out there. It would be beyond your control. There would be no chasing after them with a butterfly net. No getting them back and swatting them out the air, out of existence.

“Uh,” you shook your head. “Actually, don’t worry.”

It was almost as though Javi knew what you wanted to say - because sometimes, just sometimes, he felt himself wandering towards that territory too. It was like crossing a minefield, and there was so much at risk. Too much.

“C’mon,” he stuck his hand out to you. “Let’s get some sleep.”

Letting him intertwine your fingers, he pulled you out the chair and through his apartment. It looked like a depressing Ikea showroom, but there were little bits of him sprinkled throughout the place; a few Polaroids of you, him, Steve and Connie; empty glasses of scotch and gin; a million ashtrays. Did he collect them? Perhaps.

The bed wasn’t made as usual. He never made it. It was just one of those quintessentially Javi things that only made sense in the context of him. Neither of you said anything as you discarded your clothes, tossing them onto his desk chair until you were just in your shirt and pants. It didn’t matter - not in front of him. He’d near enough seen you butt-fuck naked before when he’d stitched you up.

Knowing that you slept on the left side of the bed, Javi slipped into the right and threw the blankets back for you. You gave him a small smile and climbed in beside you - it didn’t take long before you were tangled in the middle. He naturally took you in his arms, wrapping them around your waist and holding you to his chest. Even if you hadn’t done it now, it would have unconsciously happened when you were both asleep.

“Get some sleep,” he murmured.

“Okay,” you softly replied. “G’night.”

Is that what friends did? Even the best of friends? Because he would have eaten his left foot before doing this with Steve. The thought in itself was rather comical.

But no, it was just you and him. Just the little things you did with each other and nobody else. He was starved of every kind of intimacy - physical, emotional, mental - despite his many flings. Javi could have denied that he even needed it but he was a human, and we all had our thresholds for how lonely we got.

Not that’s why he sought you out - not because he was lonely, or because he needed any random person. He needed you. He needed your stupid banter and your little smile and the way you intertwined your hands when you knew he was nervous. He needed you to throw paper-balls at his head at work and empty his staples into the bin for shits and giggles.

After a few moments, when Javier was sure that you were asleep, he tightened his grip on you and buried his head in the crook of your neck. He couldn’t sleep til he knew that you were peaceful.

He let out a small sigh, and the words tumbled out his mouth without him even thinking about it.

“I love you.”

#javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena reader insert #javier pena imagine #javier pena imagines #pedro pascal characters #narcos imagines

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readbyred · 4 years

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Character playlist

just ted, sorry

Time in a Bottle - it was Starry’s idea so all credit goes to @stopgettingonmynerves - i think this one is pretty easy to understand. he’s a bitter person, still living in the past which obviously led him to trapping himself and his first crush in a time loop

Sex With A Ghost - strong ted energy. the song is about a person who didn’t move on from a woman he lost. possibly blames themselves as when they think about her they say “even from a distance i can hear her, i try to listen but her whispers make my ears hurt”. her presence never left their life but it’s over. what i like in this song is that it’s not straightfoward. ted isn’t like that and it’s a part as to why this gives me his vibes. it’s full of graphic, sometimes kind of gross lyrics but it’s about yearning and being frustrated, you can hear it in the singer’s voice. i might sound silly now but it just seems to suit him, you know?

The Night We Met - might be a bit too sappy but whet sold me on adding it here was the “ Ihad all and then most of you; Some and now none of you” part, i think. it’s so easy for me to imagine this being 17th of October song. that wasnt their first meeting of course but most of the song still applies. wanting to be purely in love again, nervous and full of hope for the future. but being unable to get back to that you just are stuck in the present with your regrets

Sex - i think i did a pretty good job if 2 songs out of 4 have ‘sex’ in the title,, but anyways it’s an easy song again. a person regualrly sleeps with a woman. she’s cheating on her boyfriend but doesn’t want anything besides sex while the other person uncovers that they wish they could “fill his shoes” but the woman won’t let them

Whistle For The Choir - excuse me while i’ll go off a bit. “ Well it's a big big city and it's always the same” suits hatchetfield both because of the 24h loops that always end timelines and because living there since birth must really showcase how boring of a town it is (if you take out monsters, androids, magic, shady cloning corporations and that one murderous teacher, because most people aren’t really aware of those); second we have “ Can never be too pretty, tell me your name” which sounds exactly like something ted would say to a person he doesn’t know although i’m not so sure if he’d be so smooth, i lost a bit of respect for his methods after TB, you know; and then we hear “ Is it out of line if I was to be bold and say "Would you be mine"?” because fake or not this man sees himself as a bit of a player even if it’s easy to see right though him (at least for us as an audience). i don’t mean to bore you so i’ll wrap it up soon. but look - “ Because I may be a beggar and you may be the queen/I know I may be on a downer I'm still ready to dream/Though it's three o'clock, the time is just the time it takes for you to talk” this also fits because he is surely self depricating enough for the first line, stubborn enough to try with someone anyways and also kind os an impatient jerk,,, and lastly just please read those and i’m done - “ And I must confess, my heart's in broken pieces/And my head's a mess/And it's four in the morning, and I'm walking along/Beside the ghost of every drinker here who has ever done wrong/And it's you, woo hoo, that's got me going crazy for the things you do”

Tongues & Teeth - i’m very tired at this point, it’s kinda CharTed in my opinion. first part comes from ted and second is about him

Mr BrightSide - not only i see him listening to it but it’s kind of about him too, at least i think you can make the lyrics fit his story

#tgwdlm preference #tgwdlm ted

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hopeless-lovex0 · 5 years

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I HAVE A DREAM (PART 13)

Kim Hongjoong Fanfic

Warning: Angst. Cheating. Heartbreak. Cursing. Fluff.

I present to you guys part 13 of I Have A Dream! I know this whole week has been hectic with everything happening in the kpop industry. I hope that my story at least gets your guys mind off what’s happening so far, even if it’s just for a little while. I think this is the longest chapter I’ve written so far as well so I’m glad I managed to write this much throughout the week. Let me know what you guys think of this weeks update and a little heads up next weeks update is gonna have a major time skip, just to speed the plot of the story up a little. Now without further ado here’s this weeks update of IHAD part 13 😊🥳

Y/N woke up to her brothers yelp from the room across from her, various curses following after. Lifting up one of her hands, she reaches for her digital clock reading 10:47. Groaning out she places back on top of her bed side table.

Unwrapping herself from her comfy sheets, she throws her legs over the side of the bed. Shivers run up her spine when she feels the chilling floor beneath her, missing the warm soft carpet she used to have in her old apartment. Slipping on a pair of white slippers, she walks towards her door and opens it up to a mess of clothes thrown all around the hallway leading up to her brothers room.

Walking up to the opened door she peeks her head in, watching her brother mutter curses under his breath as he tries to shove a mountain of unfolded clothes into one of his 3 suitcases. “ Y’know shoving it all in like that won’t work right?” Y/N questions aloud, Youngji throwing himself back in defeat while groaning outto her. “ I know, but I leave tonight and I dragged packing up till today and there's just so much clothes!” He whines out, throwing his feet up in the air then bringing them back down.

Y/N lets out a snort from her brothers childish tantrum, walking up to him and pushing him aside. “ It’s a good thing I have you as a brother. With the way you act, it’s like I’m already taking care of a baby.” She says causing her brother to let out a whine in annoyance.

“ Look I’ll help you pack up your stuff for tonight if you go make breakfast for us right now. How does that sound ?”

“ Sounds like a plan! I know for a fact that packing up will only take 2 to 3 hours instead of the whole day if I let you help. I’ll head downstairs then, make breakfast for the three of us.” Youngji says, getting up from the floor and giving his sister a kiss in the forehead. He does the same to her stomach before finally turning and walking towards the stairs, his footsteps causing the wooden stairs to creak loudly from the weight.

Taking ahold of the suitcase she turns it around and dumps the crumbled clothing onto the floor, various clothing mixed in and wrinkled from being shoved in. Humming to herself she begins to separate the clothing and fold it neatly into piles.

From downstairs she hears her brother bustling around in the kitchen, sounds of pans and sizzling food causing her stomach to grumble. Patting her stomach, she continues to fold her brother's clothing before getting interrupted by three loud knocks at her door.

Getting ready to stand up, her bother yells out an I got it hearing him open the front door and start conversing with the person who knocked. Hearing nothing for a couple seconds, she starts folding clothes again only to be interrupted again.

Someone knocks on the door frame bringing her attention to them, standing there are two goofy giants. They grin at her and wave their hands at her, walking into the room and sitting down in front of her. “ Hey there big bean! Where were you today? We thought you were working today, but Mrs. Park said you took the day off?” Yunho says, Mingi reaching forward and starting to help her with the clothes.

“ Yeah, I'm sorry I forgot to call you guys last night. I took the day off since Youngji leaves tonight and I wanted to spend the day with him.” She says as she finishes folding the clothes, starting to put it neatly inside the suitcase. “ Ahh okay and it's not a problem! We have to start packing up tonight too since we leave tomorrow morning. San will probably come by later on, and the rest of us will say goodbye in the morning.” Yunho says, helping Y/N put the rest of the clothes inside then zipping up the suitcase.

“ Can't believe you guys are leaving too! I could have sworn it was yesterday that I found San with a sprained ankle.” She exclaims, getting up and dragging the case with her and putting it against the wall. “ We know! It really has been a whole month of us living here, and I'm not ready to begin practice back up again.” Mingi whines out, leaning against Yunho and fake crying. “ We have to start practicing for the next comeback too, and you know they'll work us down to the bone since we've been away for a month.”

Both boys lean against each other fake sobbing, Y/N watching them from the doorway in amusement. “ Please take breaks along the way, If I find out you guys are up till 4 in the morning practicing I'll drive to the company myself and drag you out the practice room.” She says, pointing a perfectly manicured finger at them. “ WOW! You really have to “mom tone” down already Y/N!” Mingi tells her, Yunho smirking and nodding his head along with mingi’s statement.

“ Well, I have you guys to practice it on since I take care of guys like babies along with my brother as well.” Y/N says, tilting her head towards the stairs indicating that she's heading down. The boys get her message, getting off the floor and scrambling behind Y/N as she walks down the stairs making sure that she doesn't fall.

“ I'm about to eat breakfast, did you guys eat already?” She questions, walking into the kitchen and helping her brother out with the final dish. “ We already ate so don't worry about it. We just came by to check on you, we have to take off anyway since we have to start packing up for tomorrow.” they say, following behind her as they watch her take plates out to set up the food.

“ Okay well I’ll see you guys tomorrow morning when your heading off. Don’t forget to say goodbye to me okay guys!” She says, setting down the plates and walking up to the two giants. Standing on her tippy toes, she gives both of them a big hug both of them crouching down so that she could comfortably embrace them. Pulling away, Mingi pats her stomach and Yunho pats her head. “ We wouldn’t dream about leaving this place without saying goodbye! And I’m sure it’s gonna be hard to get San to leave you so we’ll be here.” He says, causing Mingi to snort out a laugh which he tries to cover up as a cough.

Shaking her head, Y/N pulls away and follows them towards the front door. They both says their goodbyes again before finally leaving her house.

Closing the door, Y/N let's out a sigh as she leans against it tired from her short walk to the front door. Happily padding back towards the kitchen, her and her brother finally sit down to eat spending their last day together in peace.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“ I want you to call me every night before you go to bed, and if you can every morning when you wake up. I left my work phone number in a piece of paper along with the other guys number. If I don't pick up the first two times then call one of the guys or call my job, I'll answer as fast as I can. I also left you some prepackaged lunches, enough to last you a week.” Youngji rants on as he stands in front the small house with his sister.

Taking ahold of his sister face, he continues to list out things for her to do and eat. Y/N watches him in amusement, letting him rant on knowing that it would make her brother less worried. The dark sky above them shined with various scattered stars, the waxing crescent moon hanging in the sky like an ornament.

“ Are you listening to me Y/N?” Her brother questions, snapping her out of her little daydream. “ Yes, I am dear brother. I've listened to everything you've said in the past 4 hours.” Y/N states, grabbing her brother's hands and pulling them away from her face.

“ Good! I can't just leave my poor baby sister and my little niece alone without some sort of help can I?” Youngji says as he pulls Y/N into a hug, patting her belly when he pulls away. “ I won't be alone remember? I have Mrs. Park and Kyung Mi.” Y/N says, grabbing one of the smaller suitcases and rolling it towards the trunk of the car. Before she can even lift it up, a pair of hands grab ahold of hers and take the suitcase of her hands.

“ Y’know a pregnant woman shouldn't be lifting heavy things up.” San says as he turns towards her, greeting her brother with a handshake and helping him with the two other big suitcases. “ First of all it wasn't that heavy and second of all what are you even doing here?” Y/N questions, San closing the trunk and standing back. “ It was as heavy as a sack of potatoes and I finished up packing my clothes for tomorrow so I decided to visit you before we leave.” He explains, watching a Youngji finishes putting his stuff in the car and walk back towards Y/N.

“ I have to leave now if I plan on making it back before 3:00 AM, long drive and everything.” Youngji mumbles out, a sad look upon his face. Knowing how sensitive she can get, Y/N pulls her brother into a tight embrace burying her face into his chest.

“ I'll miss you baby sister... Please make sure to call me every day and please take good care of yourself and my niece.” Youngji mumbles into her hair, giving her a kiss on her forehead. Pulling away, Y/N quickly dabs under her eyes to get rid of the stray tears. “ I’ll take good care of myself and this bean for you big brother. I’ll make sure to call you every night too so the little bean won’t forget their uncle’s voice.” Y/N grins up at him, causing Youngji to grin as well.

Turning towards San, Youngji pulls him into a bro hug and leans towards his ear to whisper something to him. San nods his head quickly and tugs Youngji into another hug before finally letting go and walking up to Y/N. They both stand together in front of the house as they watch Youngji get into the car and start it up. They wave their hands at him as he begins to drive away, laughing out loud when Youngji opens up a window and screams out an I love you to Y/N.

Once he's out of sight, Y/N begins to walk towards the house as the cold night air starts to nip at her. “ Do you want to come in? Or do you have to go back so the manager won't get mad at you?” She questions, hearing San walk up the stairs behind her.

“ I snuck out so I have a total of 30 minutes before the manager figures it out. Wooyoung and Yeosang are covering for me but knowing them, they'll most likely blurt it on accident.” San says, following Y/N into the kitchen and sitting down on one of the chairs in the middle island. “ Look at you bad boy, like to live dangerously I see.” She teases, taking a container of freshly cut cucumber and munching on it.

“ Only when it comes to you.” He teases, causing Y/N to choke on a piece of cucumber. He quickly gets up and runs around the island, softly patting Y/N’s back to stop her from choking any further. Waving her hands, she assures him she's fine before continuing to eat her snack.

“ I noticed that we never actually got to find out the gender of the baby.” San says, changing the subject immediately as to not make her uncomfortable. “ Yeah I know, when I rescheduled they asked me if I still wanted to know the gender... but I kind of want it to be a surprise. Youngji is set on the baby being a girl so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, but Jongho wants them to be a boy so I can name it Jongho so I also don't want to crush his dreams.” she says, mindlessly playing with a piece of cucumber. “ Knowing the gender would only make me feel bad for one of them, so I decided to just find out once I give birth.”

San hums to himself, munching along with her. “ The guys and I made a bet to see what the gender is. So far it's $100 dollars for the winners. Mingi, Yeosang and Seonghwa think it's gonna be a girl and Yunho, Wooyoung, Jongho and I think it's gonna be a boy” He says, causing Y/N to throw her head back in laughter San watching her with adoring eyes. “ Well good luck on that, though I'll personally give Jongho the honor of naming my next child if it ends up being a girl.” Giggling together, they both sit in silence gazing into each other eyes.

“ I still remember that favor you asked of us. We've been trying to be nicer to Hongjoong and it seems like he's comfortable enough to be in the room with us for at least half the day so that's an improvement.” He says, watching the relaxed look on Y/N’s face be replaced with a deep frown at the mention of Hongjoong’s name.

“ I'm glad that you guys are learning to get along well again. I'll hate for you guys to continue to fight because of me so it makes me happy that you guys are trying to fix the friendship between you guys... I think at some point in between this pregnancy or after my baby is born, I'll have to face him properly and talk to him about being apart of his or her life.” Y/N mumbles out, casting her eyes down and playing with the napkin holder in front of her.

“ We are trying as hard as we can, for you. We want you and the baby to flourish together in a positive environment, so if that's what it takes for you to be happy then we'll gladly do it. You don't have to face him right away you know... You can take as much time as you want. If you don't mind me asking... Do you think you'll ever get back with Hongjoong..?” San questions causing Y/N to snap her head up towards him. He holds his breath as he waits for her answer, preparing himself for what could possibly break his heart into a million pieces.

Y/N stared at San for a couple of minutes before shaking her head at his question, she swears she hears him let out a sigh of relief. “ Although Hongjoong and I had a good relationship when he was still faithful.. I can never look at him the same way I used too. I don't care if people say I'm throwing away a couple of years worth of a relationship down the drain because he was cheating, to me that was the lowest of the low and I feel like I could never trust him emotionally like that.” Y/N says firmly, for the first time in a while pouring out all of her doubts and thoughts out towards someone.

“ I don't want to exclude him from my child's life.. What he said to me that day about taking me to court honestly tore me up emotionally and I admit I was scared that he would do it, but I've know Hongjoong even before debut. I know he's not that kind of man, that's why I'm considering letting him be apart of my child’s life.” She finishes off, keeping her eyes down as to not see the type of look San is giving her.

Leaning forward, San takes ahold of her hands and brings them up towards his mouth. “ Don't hide your eyes from me... I don't think bad about you at all, your reason is valid and I'll support anything you decide to do 100%.” He mumbles out, softly placing a kiss on her knuckles.

Sitting together in silence, they bask in the comfort of each other. Y/N’s mind racing with a millions thoughts, a couple about Hongjoong but most of them about the deep dimpled man sitting in front of her. It's not a good idea to fall for him Y/N! For fucks sake he's the member of the guy that knocked you up! What would the public say if this got out? I can't risk me and my baby getting harassed like that. Y/N slowly sinks further and further into her head, various scenarios appearing in her head. Before she can slip completely away, San’s phone begins to ring breaking the silence around them.

Taking his hands away from Y/N’s, he digs into his pocket and takes out his phone to answer the incoming call. Wooyoung's loud voice comes blaring from the small speaker, yelling at San to come back home and something else about the manager that Y/N can't make out. Knowing that it's about time for him to go, San ends the call rather quickly and turns back towards Y/N.

Standing up, she walks towards the front door and opens it up for him knowing that he was following behind her the moment she got up. “ Go before they decide to keep you in the studio extra hours.” She chuckles out, San smiling back at her.

They stand there looking at each other for a couple seconds, San having a mental battle with himself before finally making his mind up. Crouching down, he lifts up his hand and tucks lose baby hairs behind Y/N’s ear letting his hand fall and then placing his lips on her forehead. He gives her a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away and bidding her farewell. He screams at her that he and the boys would pop in tomorrow morning to say their final goodbye, running away from her house after that.

Slowly Y/N places her hand on the same spot San just kissed, feeling the familiar warmth of a blush creep up her neck and towards her face.

Closing the door, she leans against it with a goofy smile in her face before it drops completely. A single thought clouding her mind. Don't fall for him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

That next morning, her small brick house was bustling with life. All 7 men had marched up to her house around 7:30, startling her awake from her deep sleep with heavy knocks on her wood door.

To say she was slightly grumpy was an understatement, although she was glad it was a weekend instead of a weekday were she'll have to work. The boys had barged in with a bag each in their hands, the smell of pancakes and bacon drifting around the house.

Jongho and Seonghwa dragged her to the kitchen and immediately gave her a plate full of food, telling her that it was their goodbye gift. She watches as all the boys gathered around her with plates full of food and began to eat together, she could have sworn she heard someone whisper out family breakfast to someone else.

Letting them talk amongst each other, she looked all around her at them watching as each one of them bothered each other. San and Wooyoung were giggling to themselves, making a face on one of the pancakes and calling it Seonghwa. Said older male just gave them a dirty look then continued his conversation with Yeosang (something about orange juice?) Mingi and Yunho were fighting over the last piece of bacon with Jongho in the background chanting out fight fight fight! The comical sight in front of her causing her to burst out in a fit of giggles.

The guys stop their crazy antics and watch as Y/N continues to giggle to herself, one of the seven watching her with a love-struck look. “ Sorry sorry! It's just that I'll miss this when you guys are gone... Even if we didn't start off on the right foot, you guys have proved to me more than once that you guys are sorry and I see that you guys are trying your hardest to earn my trust. Thank you for taking care of me and my baby throughout your break, you guys could have spend it doing whatever you liked but instead decided to act like bodyguards so thank you..” she finishes off, giving all of them a small smile.

“ Everything we did.. We did it because we wanted too. We weren't the greatest friends to you and for that we are sorry, we want to be apart of your life because to us you weren't just “hongjoong’s girlfriend” you were more than that. You are family to us and so is that little bean inside you, so we will do anything for you both.” Seonghwa says, giving her a big grin while the rest of the guys hum in agreement.

Smiling back at them, she turns her attention back towards her food and continues to eat, the rest of the guys doing so as well.

Before they know it, the clock hanging above the entranceway reads 8:37 the guys officially leaving at 9:00. With heavy hearts they all help Y/N pick up the leftover food and garbage from the kitchen, cleaning the table for her as well as loading the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

Together they gather around the front of Y/N’s house and begin their goodbyes. One by one they carefully lift her up in a tender hug, the maknae of the group tearing up while keeping her in his embrace. The last one to hug her is San, walking slowly up to her as if he's trying to slow down time to spend a couple more minutes with her. Reaching forward, he takes both of her hands and wraps them around his neck his own hands sliding over her stomach and placing themselves on her back.

He places his forehead to hers and they stand there basking in each others warmth for a little longer. “ I'll miss you both.. And please take good care of yourself.” He whispers out, eyes closed while still having his forehead places on hers. She whispers out an okay in acknowledgement, pulling away from each other they continue to hold onto each other hands as the rest of the guys start to walk away.

Squeezing her hands in affection, San pulls her in one last time placing a tender kiss on her forehead before finally pulling away fully. Waving at him one last time, he turns around and starts to sprint after the guys giving her one final smile.

Watching him leave, she waits for him to be out of sight so she can walk back inside her house. Finally turning back around, she notices the flag of her mailbox raised up. Tilting her head in confusion she reaches towards the lid of the mailbox and pulls it open, a medium-sized box laying perfectly in the middle.

Taking it out, she closes the mailbox back up and walks back up to her house closing the door behind her once she's inside. Stepping into the living room, she grabs a pair of scissors from inside one of the drawers and cuts away the clear tape holding the box closed.

Slowly opening it up, inside lay a pair of worn out baby boy sneakers. The dark blue color of the small shoes worn out but still in perfect condition, a couple of strings sticking out here and there.

Taking them out, she notices another pair of shoes laying further in the box this time a pair of pink brand new sneakers. The pair of light pink shoes decorated with a couple of colorful stars and a little unicorn at the front of one of the shoes. The pink shoes brand new as opposed to the dark blue ones she grabbed first.

Placing them next to the other pair, she takes the box and peers inside of it noticing a neatly folded up piece of paper at the bottom of the box. Taking it out, she inspects the inside one last time to make sure she didn’t miss anything before opening up the paper.

Inside lays a written letter, the hand writing all to familiar to her. Deciding not to dismiss the letter right away she begins to read it.

Dear Y/N:

I hope that you didn’t throw out the letter the minute that you opened it up, and if you’re reading this right now it means that you thankfully decided to at least let me explain myself.

I don’t have an excuse, for my words and actions towards you. I’m a complete and utter asshole and that slap you gave me a while ago was very much deserved. Actually I deserve so much more than a slap and I guess karma will get me back later on.

I know about the guys making sure that I don’t get near you and the baby and even though I wish to make it up to you.. I’m glad that you can depend on them and I’m thankful towards them for keeping you safe and sound.

I wanted to give you the pair of boy shoes to you the minute I found out you were pregnant. They were mine when I was a baby and I always thought about giving them to my first ever boy I had.

I always wanted a family with you, and at some point I always dreamed of asking you to marry me.. but I let myself be driven by lust. I lost you to that and you don’t know how much I regret being so intimate and vulnerable with someone that wasn’t you.

I should have told you the minute I slept with Ji woo and I don’t know why I didn’t. I completely lost myself to her but she wasn’t you. She could never be you. You were the love of my life, you still are... but my actions didn’t portray my feelings and I take full responsibility for my actions.

I’m sorry for what I said to you the day I saw you with San. You were walking away from me again and I panicked, I thought you would leave and disappear again. I thought I would never see you and our child again, so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

I was out of line and I want to reassure you that I would never even dream about taking you to court. I would never do that to you.

If you decide to raise the baby by yourself, can I ask you for a small favor? I know I’m in no position to ask anything from you but this is the last thing I ask of you if I will never see you again.

Can you please give my shoes to our baby if it’s a boy ? I also bought them a pink pair in case if they turn out to be a girl. And can you please tell them that Daddy loves them?

I love our baby so much and I wish I was a better man so that I could be apart of your guys life.

If you are willing to accept me back into your life and be able to love our child together, then I promise you I’ll be the best father in the whole wide world. I’ll dedicate my whole life to making it up to you and our little angel.

I love you Y/N and I love our little baby too. I know you changed your phone number so I added mine at the bottom of the page in case you decide to talk to me again.

Please take care of yourself and our baby, I love you guys so much.

Sincerely: Kim Hongjoong

She finishes reading the letter, tears on the bridge of falling but she wipes them away. I won't cry anymore she says to herself, placing the letter down and bringing her hands up to her face. Breathing in slowly, she grabs the pair of shoes and slowly caresses them.

Grabbing the other pair, she walks up the stairs and towards the nursery room. Opening the door, she opens up a dresser and places both pair of shoes with the rest that her brother and the other guys have gotten her. Gazing at Hongjoong’s shoes for a couple seconds, she closes the dresser and leans against it.

Caressing her stomach, she starts to talk to her baby something she has started to do once her bump started to show.

“ My beautiful baby, what should mommy do..? Daddy seems like he wants to meet you and even though I know I can take care of you by myself, I don't want you to grow up not knowing your father.” She sighs out, pulling her hair back in frustration.

“ I'll guess all will fall in place later on, just know little bean that mommy loves you with all her heart and soul.”

#ateez #ateez angst #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho

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talldarkandroguesome · 4 years

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20th of Morning Star, Middas

What wonder has befallen me. I do not know how to recount it.

With everything I... I could not write after the event, so euphoric I was that I could not put the words down. The overwhelming joy and relief! How many mortals can count themselves so lucky?

I get ahead of myself.

Last night I steeled myself til I worked up my courage, having dressed myself in the finest outfit which I had brought with me. Then I took with me the nightshade, the anointing oil, the candles, the incense, and, of course, my soul gem.

I set the altar up following the Earl’s instructions, cutting the nightshade just before placing it upon the altar, to ensure maximum freshness. Then I recited the incantation, not in Cyrodiilic, but in Velothis, to pay homage to my roots.

Then I knelt down before the altar and awaited my Prince’s messenger.

After a short while, I heard the sound of a portal, something I have become rather well acquainted with. I raised my, anticipating a Daedra to exit and speak with me.

It was silent. Everything remained still, save the swirl of deep crimson light around the portal itself.

Then a voice came, like a whisper on the wind, drifting into my ears and inside my head. Addressing me as vessel, it told me to enter the portal and present my offering.

How overjoyed I am that my Prince recalled the use of my body as His vessel on Her Summoning Day. It may have almost cost me my life then, but the gift I received as a result of that honor has remained a cherished gift.

I almost did not believe it, but neither did I wish to risk keeping my Prince waiting when given any direction, so I stood, held my soul close to my chest and walked into the portal.

It was far darker on the other side of the portal. I stood in a grand hall, sanguine crystals casting scarlet light in the dark, while glowing violet flowers showed violaceous light where the crystals did not. I followed the pathway forward and up stairs, led more by a compulsion to draw near than anything else. I felt a draw greater and greater as I wound my way up to a dais. And sat upon a grand throne, was my Prince, with several spider daedra tending to Him.

I fell to my knees, keeping my eyes lowered. I had expected, at most, a messenger, not a personal audience.

And as I was bent, I felt a voice wrap round me, as though many arms, bidding me welcome and asking what it was that had brought me to seek Her presence.

With quivering voice and weak knees, I said that I after having my soul returned to me, not by inserting it back into my body, but instead placed in a gem, Ihad sought me prove my devotion and loyalty by giving it to my Prince. That since I had already expected to serve Him in both life and beyond, there was no reason not to simply expedite the process by delivering it into Her arms.

There was a slight pause, where I could hear my pulse beat like a stampede of guar feet upon the ground before an ash storm.

Then my Prince told me to stand. I obeyed, my body still trembling.

There was an amused sound. My Prince told me that I had been both loyal to Him and an agent to thwart one of Her enemies. He said it amused Her greatly to see such a blow struck against Molag Bal and that it certainly helped to solidify His plans.

I gave a bow of thanks, not presuming I might be able to speak without permission first.

I was beckoned to come closer and so I did, making sure to keep my eyes lowered so as not to be rude.

My Prince gave me a look over, I could feel my body being turned even though no hands moved me. Then She said to hand over my soul. I felt fear flood my body as I removed from the satchel the soul gem that contained my soul, the warmth of my hands warming the core of me, and held it out towards Him.

The gem lifted off of my hands and I could see in the corner of my eye, silk begin to wrap in layer by layer around it. It felt so secure to be held tightly.

Then my Prince spoke again, saying that there would certainly be many plans for such a useful little part of Her brood. He said that, so long as I obeyed, I would certainly see many great rewards. Further, that since I would be untouched by a mortal death so long as I continued to obey, there may be more plans that contained me in the future.

It took everything within me to remain standing. I kowtowed before my Prince.

It only seemed to amuse Her more. He said that should She have a need for me, I would be made aware. In the meantime, I was to continue to spread His influence.

I felt tears roll down my cheeks, uncontrollably pouring from me in relief and pride. I gave thanks to my Prince for all Her many gifts.

And then I was no longer within the Spiral Skein, but standing once more before the altar I had left, my soul gem securely held by my Prince within the Spiral Skein and my body securely back on Nirn.

Two of the Earl’s followers were surprised by my sudden reappearance. And yet, what greater blessing could any of us hope to receive? They said nothing as they stopped midway in cleaning off the altar of my offering.

I apologized that I had not yet cleared it away on account of my continued use of the altar. Then I bid them to proceed if they were ready, for I was no finished with the altar.

They just stared dumbly after me as I walked off.

I realized belatedly that I had been gone, not only for the short time I could account for, but for several other hours as well. In fact, from the whispers I heard, it seems many believed that I had run off after my communication request.

I have not yet found the Earl, but I am hoping to thank him in person before I must leave. And maybe grab a small meal.

#ESO #TES #RP #Dunmer #Elder Scrolls Online #The Elder Scrolls

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