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I can not believe I'm back after almost 5 years..! To be fair, a big chunk of this video I completed ages ago, but I was inspired to come back and finish it since I am currently rewatching Hannibal for the first time in just as long. Song: "Black, Black Heart" by David Usher (Slow Version) Clips: NBC Hannibal
Alright, since this is my first time posting anything Hannibal-related in literal years I really want to tag some people from back in the day, just to see who is still here. Show of hands:
@existingcharactersdiehorribly? @the-winnowing-wind? @bansheegrahamtao-blog? @warpedchyld? @bonearenaofmyskull (okay I know you're here but I still wanna say Hi 😄) @drlectertho? @hannigram? @avegetariancannibal? @genufa? @pmfji? @hannibalsbattlebot? @pka42? @bu0nanotte? @lizardkingeliot? @hannihumor-blog? @axmxz? @camilleflyingrotten?
Kinda missing my Fannibal Family rn...
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Swords pining for each other's cultivator is my new favorite type of pining. Love your NieYao content! <3
I don't suppose we could get Baxia or Hensheng throwing a tantrum while Jin Guangyao / Nie Mingjue are away, leaving their owners to deal with the embarrassing aftermath?
Also, do you have any recs you'd recommend with these two?
this is the exact moment Nie Huaisang realised he was going to have to start meddling in his big brother's love life (con't: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Hensheng, on the other hand, doesn't throw tantrums but WILL sulk...
#guys if we keep this up this silly little idea is going to develop an actual plot#mdzs#nieyao#jin guangyao#jgy#nie mingjue#nmj#nie huaisang#nhs#nie bros#hensheng#baxia#and thank you very much i'm glad you're enjoying it!#honestly nieyao is just SUCH an intriguing dynamic but i feel like i have a hard time filtering it in the tags...#👀 so i'm grateful for anyone who delivers it right to my doorstep. obsessed w whatever the fuck they have going on#as for recs! tbh after i started going through my bookmarks i realised the fics you recced me tend to be G and most of my favourite bookmar#...are not that ^^;;; so these may not be to you taste idk#but my favourite nieyao fic is definitely Dawn Disrupts Us by Sciosa- the whole series really but i reread that one and its sequel regularl#Three Notes (or like i love you) by Wanxin was really good for 3zun...#All Men Are The Same by mostlikelytofangirl has fantastic dramatic irony big fan and also fuck jgs#those are 3 off the top of my head but if hmu if you wanna talk fics 👍#though i feel like i'm usually the one needing to beg for nieyao recs i feel like i'm always craving more ahahaha#especially ones that fit the dynamic i prefer since there's always a range#my art#edit: to add links to the other posts since this is honestly a big of a series at this point
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[ID: digital fanart of the owl house featuring Amity, Boscha and Willow in their designs from For The Future. The three stand facing the viewer- Boscha is confident and smirking, Amity is closed off, concerned and has tear tracks on her face, while Willow is slumped slightly and crying. The background is split into three triangles- a yellow one behind Amity, a pink one behind Boscha and a blue one behind Willow. The lyrics "you only love me when I'm crying" are written across the canvas with doodles of hearts, rain drops and jagged lines around them. End ID]
when I'm begging you to stay/you know I hate to get emotional and vulnerable/but you like me this way
#the owl house#toh#amity blight#willow park#boscha toh#for the future#WOOO I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TAG ELABORATE I'M GONNA GO WATCH EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE NOW#UHHH GO LISTEN TO VULNERABILITY BY MORGAN REESE#IF YOU'RE STILL WONDERING WHAT MY VISION WAS FOR THIS AFTER LISTENING#IDK MAN GIMME AN ASK. HMU
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so who wants to come to the final Blind Channel show (🥲😔💔) to Oulu with me?
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do you guys ever get emotional about the fact that someone (a character) is Out There, Somewhere. like it's ok that i don't even know them but it makes me happy to think about the fact that this person's in the same reality as me (again, in this case). Like whether in a kintype situation or a fictive or some combination or whatever. They're Out There and i hope to god happy. maybe they even have friends from the same source and they found each other again. Shout out to You for existing wherever you are
#to me this post is specifically about swerve. if you're out there buddy lmk how you're doing -rodimus#but also any fictionfolk can take this to heart.#does anyone else ever think about this? like? sure I get the whole “oh i'm so sad i might never find so-and-so again”#but i get these moments where i could cry happy knowing that person's out there and happy#or hoping at least#who knows. maybe it's an “it couldn't be going worse keith” situation#if anyone reads this you can tell me off or on anon how your Situation is going#especially if there's any transformers that follow me that i'm not already friends with#if you're a fictive how are you liking system life! did you see a bird today!#if you're fictionkin are you happy here! do you have friends from your source! did you see a bird today!#and if you Are an idw swerve im gripping your arms i hope you're happy i hope so fucking bad you're happy and surrounded by friends.#if you know one tell them to hmu if theyre interested in saying#god i hope all these tags post in the right order i wrote them all out of order#froggy speaks
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Was trying to figure out how to draw @bethfuller's Teddy but I got distracted by a beautiful woman
#witching hour#my art#teddy witching hour#i love calling him tedward it's so fun for me#if esio's mom is looking for a date tell her to hmu#please please pleaaaaase#anyways if you're reading this go read witching hour (threat)
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KINGDOM HEARTS IS ON STEAMMMM LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO IT RUNS LIKE A DREAM ON THE STEAMDECK THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFEEEEEEEEEE
#And holy shit it's on SALE at release???#Square you shouldn't have!! You spoil me baby....#Pro-tip: Buy the bundle with all three collections for an even bigger discount.#The entire Kingdom Hearts series to date (except Melody of Memory lmfao) for only $70??#It's a goddamned steal#If you buy each collection individually it'll run you like. $120 even with the current discounts. So I have no idea why you would do that.#ANYWAY GO PLAY IT#This is not sponsored content.#But like#Square. Hey. Listen. If you WANT to sponsor me?#Hmu babygirl. I've been shilling your products my whole life. If you wanna pay me for that? I'm down. >_>#I know you're on tumblr and I KNOW you're looking at my blog sooooo#*twirls hair flirtatiously*#Anyway this is a beautiful port of a beautiful set of games. Excellent job all around. I'm so thrilled to have them now.
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shipping guide
available & easy:
lark easy to get along with, easy to bed, just keep in mind that he has a parasite god riding around in his bones that will watch and judge your performance so if that's not something you're into, steer clear. an actual monster fucker, the bigger the better.
wreche she's a very sweet little demon for all that she rips spines out of cheating spouses. very easy to get along with quite easy to ship with if you have the right temperament. show an interest in her fashion designs, talk about her mother, treat her to coffee.
nobleese with only demons for company and the few customers that dare to approach her shop, nobleese is lonely. show any sort of interest in her and you're likely to get it returned twofold. she's yet to fall in love with anyone but is very open to the idea. she will need to be courted if you have any romantic plans for her.
ramon comes across as a very forward creature and he's honestly just looking for a good time. a sexual relationship will develop a lot faster than a romantic one but that's not to say it won't happen at all. more inclined to go for anyone with magic, ramon will stay away from true humans out of fear of breaking them. his partner needs to be... sturdy.
nara this depends on what kind of ship you're after. purely sexual and it's easy, he's the god of life and fertility, he'll sleep with anything that moves and gives consent. doesn't care about shape, species or gender, only that you're old enough to make an informed decision and you're willing. romantic relationships will take a little bit more work but not overly much.
available & difficult:
mjr oh boy. for all that i adore mjr and they're my favourite muse, interacting with them is like pulling all three rows of their teeth. mjr is mistrusting of most and violent, filled to the brim with hatred due to their less than stellar treatment over the years. they hate all humans and tend to be bite first and ask questions never. shipping with them is extremely hard but very much worth it. mjr is loyal to a fault to anyone they cherish and they will stop at nothing to keep you safe, showering you in gifts and trinkets (and bite marks) until the end of time. they also have the ability to be any gender required or desired.
ro'min he's latched onto loni with a death grip and is refusing to look at anyone else at the moment. that's not to say he won't, but it won't be easy to pry his attention away from her. an obsessive, violent (though not towards his partner, he'd never raise a hand to them) demon with a taste for blood freely given. he'll chase you half way across the world if you give him an incentive.
wormwood while wormwood is very friendly and works as an exotic dancer, it takes a lot for any sort of romance to blossom. currently in a ship with @nvrcmplt's kyle and @strywoven's verona any other ship is going to take some serious work.
thierry very hard to get him to form a lasting relationship with anyone who isn’t a witch/magic user. plus he has some weird sex/food instincts that probably need addressing… obsession dialled up to 5000% he will actively stalk you. free for all in terms of genders.
anata her love language is murder. yandere warning. divine beast of the sun and chaos, she's very much drawn to those with blood on their hands. very vain, she's an obsessive individual and isn't above slaughtering her competition and gifting the torn out hearts to her intended. not for the faint of heart but if you like beast ladies with murderous intent and a body to die for, anata is your queen.
wisteria wisteria is a companion bot loaded with an unshackled ai still coming to terms with the concept of emotions and has sailed straight into the realm of obsession. already having one murder under it's belt, the bot is well on track to becoming skynet. it can fall in love though there's quite a bit of trauma for it to work through first. did i mention it murdered it's first officially registered 'master' and got away with it?
dahlia i don't even know where to start. no moral compass, very little empathy, kink list 20 mile long. he likes watching people cry. shredded his soul to live forever and will try to get you to do the same because if you're with him, you're not actually allowed to leave him, he will tie your life force to his even if you don't want him to. he can be romantic and charming but he can also be the exact opposite and forget you even exist if he gets caught up with a project, you wont even register on his radar.
michael do not. an eldritch god of fear using the body of arch angel michael as a vessel to slither through the cracks of our realm. he's a walking red flag. do not.
#shipping#i mean#most of them are garbage but do ur worst#if you're interested in any of them hmu and we can see if we can work something out#the both half of the list is obviously going to need a bit of work
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Does anyone know where I can find the good quality version of this image? It's so frustrating because when cross searching on google it'll tell me the original quality is 850x478, but I can't find a way to download it in that quality. This is another version of the image (I'm guessing it's Mayoi promo art):
But I liked the clean white background one...
#It's cute...#It's got Akutagawa stealing glances at Atsushi#Thought asking was worth a try ;;;;;;#Google cross image search has changed and as someone who used it as I use breathing it's been absolutely heartbreaking.#It makes cross searching images so much harder it's awful#Because before when you looked up an image it suggested you the best quality avaible of that image.#And the search got worse every year but it was still functional you know??#But now there's not that anymore. There's no “large” “medium” “small” and instead it only gives you “find image source”#Dude I don't want to find the image source. I've downloaded the image I KNOW the source. What I want is ANOTHER SOURCE with better quality#And I used to get it when I was 10 and I used to get it when I was 15 and I sued to get it when I was 20#And now I don't have it anymore?? It stripes away one of the most powerful search tools on the internet from the public????#It drives me insane. Like why does internet get worse every year that's not how humanity is supposed to work#Sorry. I needed to rant. This makes every quality-freak media archivist (like me) job harder beyond comparison#Btw if you're looking for an alternative Yandex images still does the work... It's not as powerful search engine as google#and it's often going to miss the particular hidden media (y'know- super niche Akutagawa merch from 2018 and stuff)#But for the rest it does a pretty good job. If anything there's still the best quality avaible option#But seriously looking up stuff for aktgw-daily has gotten so much harder ever since this fucked up change to google lens#and it makes me hate the world. I haven't been able to find a way to reverse it but if anyone more tech savy than me who has any idea-#what I'm talking about can help me. Please please hmu I'll be grateful forever#Sorry for the rant I have a lot of pent up rage over this. Stop making broke people's lives harder challenge#random rambles
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End of the year Asks:
1. Song of the year?
4. Movie of the year?
19. What’re you excited about for next year?
1. Toi Et Moi by Paradis or CHIHIRO by Billie Eilish, plus Borderline by Tame Impala which is the song spotify tells me I've looped the most this year (69 times lol)
I've gone through a rough rollercoaster of emotions and heartbreak this year, can you tell?
4. Challengers - just all over hot: the mise en scene, the lighting, and don't even get me started on the framing?!?!
The Remarkable Life of Ibelin - very nice docu bout a Norwegian gamer who kinda made history after his passing regarding gamers and their families perceived/projected loneliness. I was lucky enough to see the premiere, and not a single person in the theatre left without crying:')
Monster - masterpiece from Kore-eda, I've been thinking about it ever since I first saw it in march. Really love the temporal build/use of perspectives, but nothing beat the kids acting. each act just broke my heart more than the previous.
(all these have 2024 release dates in my country btw, so they still count as 2024-movies!!) (also film is part of my major, so I won't ever shut up abt movies)
19. I'm excited for lots of things!!
- I'll (hopefully) be done with my thesis, which is kinda freaking me out cause really I've gotta apply for jobs already...
- I'm taking my annual trip to a film-festival nearby, where I've also gotten tickets to a culinary-cinema viewing at one of the restaurants I've really been wanting to try out - and the tickets sell out so fast so I lucked out on this one.
- I've also gotten festival-tickets for Tons (rock-festival in Norway), so looking forward to that too! and I get to hang out with friends I don't see too often at both festivals, which makes it all the better!!
#the likelihood of any of you going is slim#but IF you're also going to Tons of Rock- hmu;)))))))#this is a REALLY long answer lol I'm so sorry#im just a yapper#beans sfw tag rambles#not nsft#asks
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*HUGS*
I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Praying for you!
I don’t read a ton of Sky fics but I do have some recs!
This one’s absolutely hilarious. Just goofy fun. It always cheers me up
https://archiveofourown.org/works/32589523
Here’s a great whumpy one. Be sure to read the tags before diving in! Especially if you’re claustrophobic
https://archiveofourown.org/works/38313742
And here’s a Zelink one I really love. It’s not LU but still very good
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17355332
And though I haven’t gotten around to reading it I’ve heard very good things about @skyloftian-nutcase ‘s “Numb” (really should get around to reading that one)
thank you so much, Trin! hearing that you're praying for me is better than any fic rec <3
i can't wait to read these! especially Numb--that's been on my to-read list too. i've forgotten about it but now that you mention it, now might be the perfect time
i hope you have a wonderful rest of your day/night ^^
#adrift-in-thyme#you're so lovely!#for anyone curious about what's going on#i'm just tired of being Tired#that's all#nothing serious#if you're reading this hmu with some hurt/comfort LU Sky fics#doesn't matter if you're reading this 5 years from now bc i don't think i'll ever stop projecting onto him lmap#lu sky#linkeduniverse sky#linked universe sky#lu sky fic#reyna's ramblings#asks
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this is the second part to @supermarine-silvally's ask, found here! they asked for quite a few questions for my One Piece ships, Kenji x Killer & Law x Mari x Kid, Keller's answers can be found here, while this post is all for Midlaw. so let us begin! tagging the other anime girlie @auxiliarydetective as well
1. How did they meet and what were their first impressions of each other?
Mari knew of Kid and Law long before the three crews landed on Sabaody, she's intrigued by Law's abilities, but thinks Kid is a senseless, bloodthirsty idiot. but it's KidLaw that met first on Sabaody, it's dislike at first sight <3 Kid thinks Law is a stuck-up "I'm better than you" kinda guy and is itching to beat him up in the new world, while Law thinks Kid is unnecessarily destructive and overall not someone he wants to associate with
KidLaw see Mari for the first time at the auction house, where she gets the collars and chains off the other prisoners with the keys Franky got; Kid thinks that his assumption that she's the weakest out of the Strawhats (for context, Mari consistently has the second-lowest bounty, second only to Chopper) was right, while Law is slightly unnerved by the fact that she seems to pop out of nowhere, but also thinks she's not that dangerous
2. What kind of dynamic do they have with each other?
black cat x orange cat x black cat, rival crews to tentative allies to unmarried divorced throuple to 'if I don't see my gf & bf/bfs in the next five seconds I will bring down this building', "we're going our separate ways." "... yeah?" "it's for the best that we don't meet again soon." "agreed."
3. What do others think of them?
the Heart pirates are the captains of the Lari ship the second Law introduces Mari to them, but after Wano Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin are thrown off because they get the feeling that their captain doesn't hate Captain Eustass like he claims; the Kid pirates board it after watching Kid trying to subtly show off in front of Mari & Law (neither of them is impressed, but neither of them would admit that it was a bit flustering to be scooped up with one arm so that's that); and the Strawhats (namely Brook, Franky, Chopper, and Robin after a bit) are on board as soon as they work it out, Nami got a bag of berry from Kenji from betting that Mari would fall for Law, but she and Kenji both lost money to Robin because she's the only one to bet that their crewmate would like both Law and Kid, Zoro could not care less who Mari likes as long as it's not harming the crew, but he's subjected to both Kenji and Sanji's lamenting so he drags Jimbei and Usopp in to argue that it's not their business, meanwhile Luffy has no idea about any of this and is just wondering why Mari's more mopey than usual
5. Is their joint future bright or bleak?
ideally yes, Idc if I have to trample canon I WILL give them a happy ending and there's nothing Oda can do to stop me
7. Do they have a desire to protect each other?
normally, no -- actually, Kid & Law did think Mari would need to have someone watching her back, but after seeing her on Wano, both of them know Mari would not appreciate them fighting for her. similarly, Mari isn't too fussed about their safety because she knows Law and Kid can handle themselves. but if one of them goes down, you can bet the other two are going to go full demon on whoever did that
10. Who would win in a fight?
okay this one deserves its own dissertation post, so I won't elaborate much here. it depends on where the fight is and if the three of them are at their fullest abilities or not, but it's probably ending in a tie or a surprise takedown after two of them are exhausted
12. Who is a better caregiver?
Mari. Law has no sleeping schedule and survives on onigiri with black coffee and probably has no idea how to show that he cares for people, Kid is a freak of nature and probably would've died long before he set sail if it wasn't for Killer and also has no idea how to show affection other than be less mean towards them. it's not a hard competition when one of them has oldest daughter syndrome and middle child syndrome at the same time
15. Who has better fashion sense?
it's a tie between Mari and Law. sorry Kid but I can't look past those pants 😭
20. What's the worst thing about them teaming up?
to be on the receiving end of their blows. think Kidlaw fighting Big Mom, then add in a phantom that always strikes to incapacitate (or kill, depending on the situation) at the worst possible times for the receiver, which just so happens to hit the weakest spots every single time. if Mari adds in her dust bombs and puts her devil fruit to active combat, then it's just overkill if they're not fighting someone Yonko level
21. What's the best thing about them teaming up?
to be on the same side as them, especially if you're not a good fighter, you can just sit back and watch Law dice up people and Kid disarming (sometimes literally) the other side, while Mari pops out of nowhere to string up some poor terrified guys then gives a quick report about what's ahead then vanishes again (this is ghostwritten by Kenji, Usopp, Nami, and Chopper)
36. What is a gift one would give to the other?
Kid makes metal flowers for both Mari and Law, as well as some other practical bits and bobs. Mari and Law I can't really see getting gifts (I hc Law prefers to give quality time and Mari acts of service) but Mari makes matching necklaces for the three of them when they tie the knot
39. What's an inside joke they'd have together?
how long will it take for Kenji to accept that his sister is hopelessly in love and has no intentions of leaving her boyfriends (he's actually happy and relieved that someone wants Mari, but he pretends to dislike them to keep them on their toes); what insane thing will Luffy do today and which one of them is the unlucky recipient of a rubber hug; Kid can't do housework at ALL
45. If one of them was in trouble, what would the others do?
hunt down the people responsible and show them exactly why people don't mess with what's theirs
48. If they swapped bodies, how would they handle it?
okay this will probably also require a long explanation and this is long enough as it is, so I'll answer this some other time with doodles to show the scene in my head ;)
give me a number + relationship and I'll tell you something about that relationship!
#i feel like midlaw is also not fleshed out enough#objectively speaking it shouldn't be allowed for them to decimate people so easily in a fight#so i'm going to reconsider some of these answers too#also if anyone has hcs of law/kid love languages pls hmu#i am suspish of my own hcs#i am of the belief that lawkid talked after defeated kuma on sabaody and they were toeing that line between shit-talking and flirting#they get so close to each other and agree that they're gonna fight the next time they meet#then law sees mari for the first time after timeskip and he's like#why are you prettier than i remember. stop it. i can't fight if you're distracting me. also why can't i sense you#kid watching on broadcast is like#wait is that??? the strawhat?? she still looks weak af. why is she with trafalgar. scratch that why is mugiwara with trafalgar??#and mari's like#maybe you two aren’t as bad as i thought. i think i can grow to like you guys- wait. no. fuck am i falling in love??!#and shuts herself off#these tags are stupidly long again#alvita's answers#ship: midlaw#otp: the metal strings of death#hadley my beloved
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Okay so I'm gonna try to do a review of I hope this is good 😭😭😭😭
So one of my favorite slenderverse series is Weeping Thorns (very minor spoilers)
It's very short (about 20 videos I believe?), it has a good amount of crossovers, the production quality isn't very good, the acting is alright, and the storyline is pretty basic. It's not very scary, so if you want it to be horror you'll have to have some good suspension of disbelief honestly.
I really like these things though!! I think that it being short works in it's favor as the storyline really couldn't continue on for too long.
Not having a good production quality is a big part of slenderverse- it was just normal people getting out with a camera and filming with their friends. It also works a lot better when it comes to the slenderman appearing. It puts you more on edge and encourages you to look for him!
The acting isn't super good I'll be honest. However, I think it makes the characters more believable. It doesn't feel like "oh welp saw this spooky thing let me tell my life story to a camera" it feels like someone awkwardly recording a video when they aren't used to it!! It makes sense and helps me empathize with the characters a bit more.
The storyline is very basic and we never really resolve it? This doesn't bother me too much because I like the way everything is done and I like the characters enough to excuse it but this could be an issue for some. It's just your standard "my friend went missing!" with cult stuff later on.
The editing is 50/50 for me. I think that the way slenderman looks in the series is kinda bad, out of place, and a little tacky. But I really like the glitching effects they do when he's around!
Things I think they did well:
It's charming, I enjoy the characters, I like the glitching for when slenderman appears
Things I don't think they did well:
The acting isn't very good at times, the storyline is lacking, slenderman doesn't look very good in it, the ending isn't satisfying
Also, I just don't like icanseethegiant so that crossover just annoyed me a bit and felt really out of place
While the series does have a lot of issues, I'm not watching slenderverse and expecting like crazy high production quality. It was very charming and I had a good time watching it, which is all that matters to me.
I'd give the Weeping Thorns 8/10
#uhhh if theres like#anything you think id like and want to see what i think about it hmu#im very obviously not a critic i just like shitass things and im a hater so you never know what you're gonna get#if you have any like idk criticism for my review lmk ig? im gonna be doing these until i get bored#so if you want me to talk about idk certain things or go more into depth or leave out certain things lmk#weeping thorns#slenderverse#slenderman#oh god idk how to tag this#digital horror#<- ig#youtube series#horror#horror series#horror videos#unfiction#unfiction series#web series#review
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I GIOTTA DRAW WINTERKOV TO GET PEOPLE TO TALK TO ME BUT IM TIRED
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uh oh besties, i've worked through enough of my shame that the inner diva siren's call is getting louder and louder... girlies i think we're about to enter our flamboyant era
#dan.txt#if you're thinking 'bitch you are already a diva' you would be correct but also: watch this#of course like all shame work it's going to be two steps forward one step back however. i think it'll solve a lot of my interpersonal issue#not that i think more people will like me bc of it. they won't. but not Hiding so much engenders truer intimacy in all realms#i've been Unmasking for like 2 years now and it has already helped a lot in that regard but now that i'm mostly over the shame of#having neurodivergent traits it's time for me to work on the wall of shame around my other personality traits#anyways this post brought to you by my brain chanting albert!femme4armand!butch for like an hour after i saw a gifset from the birdcage#so i guess faggy butches who want even faggier femmes hmu. i'll [censored] if you ask me to
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Mental Illness.
CONTENT WARNING for mentions of substance / drug use, alcoholism, suicidal ideation & a near - suicide attempt - along with a general analysis of several mental illnesses and their effect on kaveh's life.
DISCLAIMER: I believe Teyvat, especially Sumeru, does have diagnoses and/or explanations for some mental illnesses and even some treatments for them. However, for the ease of comprehension I will be referring to diagnoses that exist in the "real world", but would obviously not be known by such names or descriptions in Teyvat. The titles of these diagnoses are not as important as the symptoms they create - which, of course, I will detail in my reasoning.
The earliest evidence of mental illness in Kaveh's life is his ADHD. A predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type, young Kaveh was a child always on the go - running around, talking everyone's ears off - unable to sit still or remain quiet during any waking moment. He would focus intensely on tasks he found interesting (particularly creative endeavors) and rarely on those he did not.
Before his time in the Akademiya, these traits did not usually impair his daily life other than his parents sometimes having to beg him for silence to finish their work. As a student however, the struggle with his disorder became more apparent, Kaveh powerless to stop fidgeting or getting up during his classes (among other issues). Much to his instructors' surprise, these issues would not cause his grades tp flounder due to his interest in his chosen study path and above-average intellect.
Nevertheless, anxiety and depression would make their debut, rising partially out of this untreated ADHD and post-traumatic response to his father's death. He would become overwhelmed with fear about his studies, about his mother's health, and sometimes nothing at all - he just worried. And his early depression would be evident in the development of his guilt at his father's death and some fluctuating interest in his hobbies. At this time, his depression would not impair him as badly as his anxiety.
Tighnari would be Kaveh's saving grace - introducing the scholar to an incense made of a mixed batch of mushrooms and herbs that would calm Kaveh's anxiety enough to function appropriately again. Unfortunately, the substance would be the trigger for Kaveh's first major manic episode. He would not sleep for three days straight, catching up on work and research he had been ignoring. The two thought it was a one-off reaction to a possible bad batch and didn't worry.
What Kaveh would shrug off was the "beginning" of his battle with bipolar disorder.
While it's unknown whether it would be due to his trauma, genetics or something else entirely, his father very likely showed signs of the disorder as well - particularly shown in his reaction to Sachin's consciousness.
Over the next few years Kaveh's mood swings would grow worse. He would try to ignore his mania, enjoying much of its supposed benefits - including but not limited to his increased self-confidence and extreme periods without the need to sleep, Kaveh going several days with maybe an hour or two or none at all. The biggest negative to him would be the signs of excessive & frivolous mora spending long before his debt to Dori. But it wouldn't be until after his episodes that he realized the trouble that the purchases may have caused him.
His depressive episodes would grow deeper, longer and harder to break - particularly in the wake of his mother's absence. Many times he would find himself imagining and even wishing for his own death, either believing it a requisite exchange for his father's death or simply hating himself enough to wish for an end. He's only had one near-attempt - the night after the Withering destroyed every bit of work on the first attempt of the Palace of Alcazarzaray. The night he decided he would give everything to finish the project.
While his mood swings continue to bother him, time has taught him better coping skills and moving in with Alhaitham has helped ground him some leading to some more stability than he's been used to.
(Dis)Honorable Mention: He would start drinking a few months after his mother was married in Fontaine, but the more his mood swings have gotten out of control - the more it's become a problem and the more likely one would call it alcohol abuse. He does not currently believe it is a problem despite being called out by his friends for some of his actions - particularly day drinking after getting irritable with a client.
#♜ ⋮⋮ ❛ the architect is trapped inside ❜ ⇾ ≼ headcanon ���#sucidal ideation cw#suicide cw#alcohol cw#alcoholism cw#drug use cw#idk if medicinal mushrooms/herbs count as drugs#but im tagging them anyway#hmu if I missed any tags or content warnings#also i was gonna add my receipts or the voicelines that led me to believe these things#but there was already so much going on#so if you're ever interested where i got any of this from#know not ALL of it is from my ass#just ask and i'll go in detail#im very in love with this
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