#If you have played hollow knight. you know why I am SO FUCKING EXCITED

[sucharide]

sorry this is incoherent but

GUYS GUYS UGYSDIUGYSDIGUHGUIAEUFHAIUGHIUA EGHGUYS I BEAT PATH OF PAIN I DID IT I DID IT

I've played with it a few times but never made it to the first soul totem but about 2 hr 45 minutes ago i tried again and i realised pretty quickly that hang on i am making some progress this time

so i started recording and. yeah, my recording is 2 hours and thirty minutes long. And I think I had started working on it about 15 or so minutes before I started recording.

I got path of pain in under 3 hours?????

I mean, again I have toyed with it in the past, but this is the ONLY time I have made it to the first checkpoint and I FINISHED IT TONIGHT. I FINISHED IT. I BEAT PATH OF PAIN.

[rukafais]

I played Never Grave's demo so I could see if it had any ambition at all beyond smashing a bunch of popular things together to create something kind of interesting and in short:

no lol

The unique mechanic, possession, is so sidelined you might as well be playing as the Cutesy Witch Character that is the mascot despite being a hat that possesses corpses, because it's not actually a hollow knight style metroidvania, it's smashing hollow knight's style and pacing into dead cells' room generation and enemy placement and creates an unhappy compromise that makes me wish it would shit or get off the fucking pot. It also has drops which are supposed to incentivize replay so you can get upgrades and whatnot, but what it mostly does is make me resent how transparently shoehorned the mechanic is.

also why is the build mode so crusty

Oh also this area is like 50% of the demo (since it is the area you actually do all the combat exploration in):

If you have a game that is making me think, at all times "man i wish i was playing another, better game that looks like this/plays like this that I enjoyed more" you've failed to give your game a unique identity and that, more than anything, irritates the shit out of me. The video game industry is built on clones, at least make it a fucking GOOD clone that isn't creatively bankrupt.

Also they have the whole roguelike random upgrade thing going on but they all feel pretty meaningless because there's no real indication or sense of balance. Everything feels like it's there because it has to be there, because it's popular, instead of trying to have some kind of creative identity and stand on its own. It's deeply, agonizingly mediocre. It feels like it was designed by a fucking marketing team because This Is What's Popular, Right?

Which sucks. Because I would play a game about being a fucked up little creature that possesses corpses to get around! But it doesn't even commit to that premise enough to get me interested, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SUCKER I AM FOR EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF AESTHETIC PANDERING?

Also there's no flavor text or lore or plot which like, if there was SOMETHING i could be interested. There is fucking nothing. It feels like someone slapped this together from a bunch of premade templates and expects you to get excited about it.

ALSO IT'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER EARLY ACCESS GAME, FROM A STUDIO THAT SEEMS TO PRODUCE NOTHING BUT EARLY ACCESS GAMES THAT NEVER MAKE IT OUT OF EARLY ACCESS, JESUS CHRIST POCKETPAIR

[quirrelfan]

what is the reason you love quirrel so much? i do know that sudden and unexplainable attachments to characters happen (for me it’s revali from breath of the wild. idk why but i love him so much (yes i realize he’s kind of a terrible person)). but i’m just wondering if there’s any specific reason you love him so much?

Yipee, my first ask!!!

It's hard to keep this brief so...:)

When I started Hollow Knight, Hornet was my favourite. I never went to Black Egg Temple so i never saw Quirrel until Lake of Unn.

When I first met him, I didn't think much, but thought he was neat (like all of the characters I've interacted with up to this point).

I missed him in Queens Station because I went to the bench first, then went to interact only to find that he was gone. However, I did not recognize him, so I pretty sad to miss the interaction.

City of Tears rolls around. And oh boy I was so excited to sit with a friendly bug! I sat with him for a while, enjoying the atmosphere, then realised that he is the same guy from Lake of Unn, and that Lake of Unn guy is the same guy as the Queens Station guy. I immediately liked him so much more when I realised this. I loved that he was also exploring! The bench also gave him bonus points, and it became my favourite bench.

Now I became *VERY* excited to explore, to find him in the next area, hunting him down so I can talk with him more. But I never saw him in Deepnest, nor did I see him in Crystal Peak. The next time I saw him was outside of Teacher's Archive. I was SO happy!

And what sealed his place as my favourite character in Hollow Knight (and soon to be overall favourite character alongside Hawks) was the Uumuu fight. I did not see him when he shows up in the fight, but I heard his voice and immediately got hyped. And saw that he was helping me. HELPING ME!!! I did not care how much i died, I never raged at Uumuu at all. I was having a blast. The moment I heard him in the fight, he became my favourite in HK.

Afterwards, I then decided to explore Resting Grounds. My memory of it was foggy, and I wanted to see what was up with that.

I accidentally walked into blue lake.. and there is my friend! Quirrel!

After talking, i sat with him. For a while, but just too short. I left and said aloud (because I was on call with my friend), that i'd come back to him later. I exited the area and decided I wanted to sit with him a little longer.

And his nail. I realised what it meant.

My friend was gone.

His entire storyline (i watched the rest of the interactions on yt), his love for exploring, his appearance (friend shaped) his aid in the battle against Uumuu, his bench, the foreshadowing, the detail of the subtle change in his voice after he removed Monomon's mask.

Everything. Everything about this bug made me love him so much. Yet it is also like one of those "no particular reason" situations. It's everything and nothing in particular at the same time.

Seeing him makes me happy. He makes me smile. His voice in the Hallownest Vocalized mod always makes me smile so fucking much. The Quirrel comic, and when it got voiced over by the Hallownest Vocalized actors. That makes me so incredibly happy as well. (This reminded me to buy the collectors edition of HK so I can get the physical comic and whatever other cool stuff it has).

I have a save file where I'm just at the Quirrel bench. It makes me happy.

I am happy to show my love for Quirrel, whether it's my ita bag, or my rambles about him, or that Quirrel Location written series I made.

I am so happy my friend got Hollow Knight. He didn't try convincing me to play it, I just ended up buying it on the switch. I knew of it beforehand, but my friend is why I got the game. I have him to thank for my love for my now favourite game and for Quirrel.

I know I talked a lot, but it's difficult to explain without going through every little bit, because everything about him makes me love him.

I like that this was my first ask I've recieved. As Quirrel would say:

"I like that. I like that very much."

[bettimbellis]

A Collage (of Yelling)

I saw someone do something like this to advertise their fic- they linked the fic, and then put in a little collage of various comment snippets. I can’t find the post to show off- someone please do let me know if you’ve seen that, I want to credit them. 

Either way, my Hollow Knight post-Black-Egg-Temple fic (linked here) has 209 comment threads on it. I’ve gone through and found some bits. These bits were mostly chosen for entertainment/intrigue value out of context- a lot of my favorite comments didn’t get in. 

Got some good reviews there, I think. Anyone wanna see the collection I have of Discord screenshots from folks yelling at me about this fic?  (Seriously though, thank all of y’all who comment, yell in the tags, whatever- I love it. Really helps keep the writing muse going, too.)

Image descriptions below the cut. 

[Image ID: a collection of bits of text placed on a light green background, in several groups. Text is as follows. 

Excuse me who gave you the right to hit me with this line at seven in the morning”, with an arrow pointing to the left. also it feels like there are many things to be concerned about lmao  God, Hollow is such a poor baby. A lanky wet cat left in the rain. Hollow, that feeling is love, dear, no need to feel so confused about it. Hornet, my sad dumb little spider baby, go to bed. in summary holy shit this is fucked sounds like stressTM can these characters stop being so relatable good Lird *smacks my face* Hornet. Hornet. the fuck HOLY FUCKING SHIT [all caps] It was so soft!!!! And then it became *so goddamn angsty-* *squints harder*  Wet rag is my new favorite character. *thunks my head on a wall* Gosh darn it Oro course you had to have integrity But also OW MY HEART?! SHATTERED?1 POOR BABY HOLLOW IM GONNA CRY Gosh dang. The last chapter was a little lighter, but apparently you were just holding back for this one.  (Chp. 3) I stg this whole chapter made my emotions whip back and forth between “awww :)” and “awwh :(” and “oh. Oh no baby do not think like that”.  Augh. just, augh. / ...except that bit at the end. ...except that last sentence, ‘cause, yeah. / *hides face in hands* this has been exhausting for everyone, apparently. Hollow knight or: when you are so touch starved that your standards for touch that you want are somewhere in the abyss that has spawned you.  Whatever the FUCK happened in the last section is Oh Lord Oh God What The Heeeeeellll Ohhhh My Goood No Waaayyyy... Will be waiting for the next chapter STARING at ao3...

i was so relieved to read this that i accidentally put my phone in airplane mode trying to respond “it is startled out of its pleasant memory-” pLEASANT???? PLEASANT!?! Hollow no. HOLLOW NO- / why does this for some reason almost feel like fluff.  My urge to keysmash at you is strong Just. God. Everything about this is so fucked in so many ways.

Something about this line just makes me want to. Maybe stab the king in the chest. Repeatedly. And then throw them off a bridge. Idk Actually many things about this chapter make me want to stab the king in the chest repeatedly and then throw them off a bridge. Because *holy shit* Hollow, honey, you have so much trauma. OMG ghost, what have you done [stressed emoji] Okay then. Well. Um. That’s a lot to happen.  God it’s such a mess Ah yes, the eldritch nonsense trying to approximate a living creature, my beloved PK you ass. PK you absolute ASS get over here I wanna hit you with something heavy-  oh / im immediately punched in the face okay thank you for that Right off the bat I am mildly excited about this chapter solely because you played with text formatting and that makes my serotonin levels rise. I don’t know why but thank you for that.  CONFUSION SOUP I’M FHDHDJFKFKGH I wanna join the cuddle pile :<<< let me in [holding Hollow gently in both hands] / I will get you all the fresh-dirt-scented soap Fucking superb you funky little vessels. Oh boy! Spiraling!

Oh this chapter hurts ‘specially bad. Because it wasn’t enough to be possessed and neglected and quite literally tortured and driven insane, now we gotta have more medical issues and amnesia-  I fuckign cried at this one, oh my god. Pain is always a tearjerker, but it’s nothing compared to someone who’s been in pain so long finally getting that first big moment of *realizing they’re wanted* and *heard* and *healing*  And I gotta say, (this is gonna sound bad) I really do love Hollow’s victim blaming. Or how it’s written. I love how you write characters in pain <333 “Oh, just a quick chapter to read before bed,” I thought to myself. “I will enjoy it and feel a normal and manageable level of emotions about it.” / ...Thanks for making me all teary in the wee hours, now I’ll never get to sleep! (...I mean this as praise.) Oh. Oh Hollow. So wrapped up in the need to be useful. So incapable still of seeing that their own gut-wrenching familial love might be returned in kind, whether they have some designated purpose for their existence or not.  Yeah. Relieved. / Oh, Hollow... You have already left kudos here :) [three times] / Have I ever been told the definition of insanity?  honestly the body horror was the /least/ disturbing thing in this chapter. not to say! that it was not disturbing - even then, less the horror and more the. context. i want to punch TPK. into a lake. that is on fire.

First comment of my first reread, and MAN. This opening hits just as hard the second time.  Keep in mind Hollow Knight was made by Australian people Hollow 100% deserves a nice date at the palace if they so wish. anyway, I feel very emo about Hollow, all the time.  HOLLOW IS LETTING THEMSELVES HAVE WILL, LET’S GOOOOOO Ghost is doing Fine:tm:, Hornet is doing Fine:tm:, Hollow is *actually* doing pretty well Good news! Hollow is an emotional wreck!  Hornet is doing sooo normal right now (lying).

TLDR; amazing story, glorious update, poor Grimm, I Am Desperate For Shield Lore, someone please tell Ghost it isn’t their fault, the entire gaggle of siblings needs a group hug, I Am Going To Put The Pale King’s Corpse Through A Shredder, and Hornet needs another good cry. 

anyways fuck you for writing this keep it up

[kittycatcarla]

fuck it games i played update post

tonight was just Chicory? i think? yeah

i wanted to play mc as well but i got so into chicory that i didnt have time

anyway spoilers for Chicory under cut

(also storytime and screenshots; at the end a little analysis about parallels between chicory and hollow knight)

ok so screenshots first(there's a lot of them)

ok so first of all i managed to diagnose the bug that made it so my cursor would randomly snap to the bottom-right for a single frame. playing in windowed mode seems to solve it. not ideal, but at least drawing isnt as frustrating

^ thanks for the reddit gold trash kind stranger!

^ hullo! ^-^

^ it's shit but i wanted to show off the holey design i made

^ the facial expressions of everyone lmao

^ still dont really know who the vandal is. anyway butts ehehe

^ I'm sorry but Nintendon't won't show mercy for that

^ her face expression (again) lmao

^ ace icon? or gay icon? queer icon nonetheless (yes that there is a very crude attempt at drawing little ghost)

^ love him (disregard the paintings)

^ somebody's horny on main

^ POTATO

^ Horn't shirt

^ ok fuck you game given the tools given and my skill level im actually kinda proud of what i managed to do fuck you (<2)

^ I forgot to make screenshots with the other lines related to this but... fuck i relate to chicory so much. The impostor syndrome. the self-hatred. except that im actually shit compared to what she canonically does but like. That only made what she did to Cupcake (idk i named my character like that. They asked for food it's not my fault) hit even harder on me. I am talentless. I do have no experience. But fuck you (<2) for being so relatable to me specifically and for making me see myself in both characters

^ why, hello there

Ok now i shorter analysis of connections between Chicory and Hollow Knight (maybe also Celeste?) cause it's 1AM and I'm kinda tired

(spoilers for both games)

(also have in mind that i still havent finished chicory)

Ok i first of all find really interesting the theme and the title of both chicory and hk. The title represents a character. Not hte playable character like in other games, but the final Boss, or at least the (apparent) source of Bad in the world. Granted i do no know for sure the final boss of chicory. and technically hk isnt the final boss of hk. I wouldnt be surprised if the final boss in chicory is my own depression. But that's beside the point.

Both characters, Chicory and Hollow, were left with immense responsibilities upon their shoulders. And both of them failed due to mental roadblocks. Because there was nobody to help them. Because they were supposed to be the best. And while they were extremely skilled, they became their own enemy. This caused in both cases, Corruption. Now, in one case it's the manifestation of a literal god that acts like a hivemind. In the other it's the negative thoughts of someone wielding a tool with pretty much godly powers. Same thing really.

Moreover, this Corruption manifests itself onto the entire land (we do not take into account the exceptions in HK and the possible exceptions in Ch. once again, i havent finished the latter). And it is in the hands of the player, representing somebody that was cast out, rejected by the ones they looked up to, but in the end becoming the best out of everyone, to fix it all.

The point is i dont know. But im excited to see how the plot of Ch unfolds

(also the idea i had about celeste was how Madeline and Chicory are in similar situations with their mental health. But unlike Madeline, Chicory does not accept any outside help, nor does she seek help herself (at least not yet)) (yeah this idea has even less sense now. disregard it if you will)

[cluescorner]

I am no closer to beating The Motherfucking Sun in combat

The Radiance is so hard. Like, I’m trying to find constants in the background (the only reason I got through White Palace) but she keeps teleporting so that’s a no go. The fact that she does 2 masks of damage doesn’t help. And the worst part is that I’m not even past her first phase. She’s the final boss, I know she’s gonna have at least like 2. 

However, this does mean that I’ve gotten to fight the Hollow Knight A LOT. And I have some funky thoughts on its combat stuff. 

Fighting style: They fight with a very similar move-set to Grimm. Shooting stuff out of the side of their cloak, the appear-down-spikes up maneuver, and even the teleporting thing! Maybe Grimm was involved in training the Hollow Knight somehow? IDK what the lore implications of that are, but if Grimm and Pale Bastard were involved with each other then that raises a lot of questions. Like, why did Grimm leave Hallownest? What was the relationship between Grimm and other notable characters like? Did Grimm find out about the abyss and get so disgusted that he fucking noped right out of there and took a full troupe of bugs with him? Lots of fun speculation to be had there. 

Parrying: The Hollow Knight parries the same as Hornet. This makes me so fucking sad, because it opens up the idea that they knew each other. What was their relationship like? Did the Hollow Knight pretend to be emotionless around their sister or did they open up around her? Did Hornet love her older sibling enough that she even learned how to fight with them? Imagine a young Hornet having both her mother AND an older sibling who she loved taken away from her. God that makes me so sad. And now I’m imagining a baby Hornet trying to beg the Hollow Knight not to leave her, and the Hollow Knight having to not react to her pleads. God this is so sad. 

The attempted self-die shit: I’m so sad y’all, but I have a question. IDK if it works this way for anyone else, but the Hollow Knight’s self-stabbing move gets triggered more often for me when I’m lower on health. Like, this could just be because of how I play (taking a lot of damage because I’m bad at the game), but I find the idea that the Hollow Knight can sense when you’re dying and purposefully give you time to heal intriguing. 

The fics for Hollow Knight must be fucking great. So much left open to interpretation and a multitude of characters who receive enough development to be interesting, but not enough development to where it feels like their characters have nowhere to go. I am purposefully avoiding anything Hollow Knight related outside of the game itself to avoid spoilers, but I am so excited to beat the Radiance and fucking tear through theories and stuff. I might even make some content myself, who knows?

TLDR; The Radiance is hard, the Hollow Knight’s move-set is very interesting to analyze, I can’t wait to start watching lore videos/animatics/anything honestly, and fuck the Pale Not-King. 

[sarahdraws-sometimes]

What are your Top Five Video Games!

oooh. this might be fun.. thanks for the ask!

:readmore:

5. SKYRIM: This game is hilarious. That's mostly all I have to say about it but, it really is one of my favorites. The game is old, but still holds up as an open world game. It's one of the best in the genre imo, as theres literally hundreds of side quests to do. Even if you don't feel like doing the main plot, exploring always provides reward. Almost every passerby has a sidequest to give you, and the game always just gives you something to do. Theres no empty areas, and the map is MASSIVE. Skyrim is like, a massive sandwhich with 500 things inside of it that makes it really hard to bite, but still tastes super fucking good. heh

4. UNDERTALE. This does not need explaining. Everyone loves UNDERTALE, but my favorite thing about it is the whole point of it is replaying. Theres so many secrets and suagagkaos makes me sooo excited for what Toby Fox has in store for Deltarune.

3. Hollow Knight. What can I say about this game? It's characters are so well done, and it's so easy to love even the most barren side characters. EVERY character is lovable, even.. Well, you know. The VILLAINS. which is awesome. Plus, the plot of course is really nice, and the games it takes inspiration from are also faves of mine, so. Yeah. But I'm sure this entry was obvious so I'm keeping it short.

2. Bloodborne. Holy, Bloodborne is fucking sick. It's world is so incredibly well written and it's such a deep game. The characters are all so wonderfully done. And the gameplay as well is so fun. Exploring the world is a wonderful experience. Another thing I love about this game is the challenge it brings! This game is NOT EASY. Finally overcoming a challenge in this game is literally the most satisfying thing ever. I love the entire SoulsBorne series, and Bloodborne is easily just the best out of all of them. I am simply. Madly in love with it's lore, and every boss having it's own depressing and miserable story that ties in with the games overall plot is so nice. I also love the storytelling of this game, and Dark Souls. It's always such a treat to learn something about the game's lore on your own. Mm.

1. Red Dead Redemption 2. Yeah. Not Hollow Knight. The reason why I like this game so much is, welp. Everything. The plot, the setting, characters, exploration.. They say that every game has its flaws and its positives, but THIS FUCKING GAME,, Holy. It sure does have its flaws but, to me theres little to none. This game is incredibly fun to play, as well as easy to get emotionally invested in,,, The characters are spectacular, plus, its a cowboy game, and one thing everyone should know is that I fucking LOVE old western themed games. I think this game does a really good job at establishing it's villains, as well. I really really need to replay it. I think it's only issue is online but, I never cared for online play so that doesn't really effect me lol

[kohanayaki]

Jaime Lannister x Reader .:Fighting Chance:. Part 1

With his right hand gone, Jaime doesn't believe there's any way for him to regain his skill with the sword; his position in the Kingsguard is as good as finished. Luckily, Tyrion thinks he knows just the person to whip him back into shape- you.

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3 

You sighed softly as you swirled your second glass of wine around in your goblet, glancing around at the company you'd found yourself in. Today was but one of the many parties the royal family had planned in the weeks leading up to King Joffrey's wedding to Lady Margaery. 

At the moment you were sitting at one of the lavishly decorated tables with a group of soldiers. You were much too sober by your standards but having a fun enough time. You idly sipped at your wine and threw the occasional word in the conversation, but events like this were dull to you. Everyone around you seemed to put on such a heavy act it made you sick. You were hoping someone would come along that didn't feel so. . . hollow.

As you felt the space shift beside you, you turned to see an older man approach and sit in the empty chair next to yours- very loud and very drunk.

“Now what's a pretty little thing like you doing with a group of mutts?” he slurred, shooting you a shit-eating grin. 

Your eyes narrowed as the man slung an arm over your shoulders, his alcohol ridden breath fanning over your face and making you cringe.

“Hands off,” you said, your eyes narrowing.

The man only laughed and slid his hand down to your thigh.

“Well aren't you a feisty one? I wonder if you're the same way in the sack. Maybe I should fuck you over this table and find out-”

“Maybe you should move your fingers before you lose them,” you said, your tone deathly calm. Your words made the man recoil in shock which quickly turned into offense. 

“I beg your pardon? I am a knight of the Kingsguard,” he said incredulously. 

You forced your grimace into a sickeningly sweet smile as you turned to face him.

“Well then, with all due respect, Ser, kindly fuck off,” you said as you took another sip of your wine. 

The soldiers around you chuckled in amusement at your crass language. 

“You're going to let this little cunt push you around like that?” one of them goaded.

You didn't even take the time to acknowledge his comment but shot him a nasty glare as you cut away at the venison on your plate. 

“No. Looks like the bitch needs to be put in her place,” the man scowled, reaching for you.

His hand didn't get much farther than the edge of his plate before you grabbed it and twisted hard, pressing the blade of your dinner knife against the flesh of his wrist. 

Several of the soldiers stood immediately and drew their swords.

“Now now, what's going on here?”

You exhaled sharply through your nose as you reluctantly released your grip on the man, turning to face the unmistakable source of the voice: Joffrey Baratheon.

“A simple spat, Your Grace,” you said, putting on a smile, “Think nothing of it.”

“This crazy bitch tried to kill me!” the drunk man exclaimed.

“Well he did grab me,” you retaliated, unable to hold your tongue, “And threatened me with disgusting perverse acts. In response, I suggested he move his hand-”

“And nearly slit my wrist while doing so,” the man glared as he finished. 

“Completely warranted if you ask me,” you said under your breath.

You heard a faint chuckle from the high table and shifted your gaze to the man behind the King. He wore the golden armor and cloak of the Kingsguard, his hair matching the hue of the metal. He was handsome, that was for certain, but he seemed. . . maybe tired wasn't the right word, but maybe it was. The man looked exhausted. The hollows of his cheeks seemed sunken into the chiseled features of his face, a sort of emptiness in his dark green eyes. And yet there he was, in his golden garb before the royal family, his facade just a little less prominent than everyone else's. Something told you there was more to him. 

Meanwhile, the King looked between you and the drunk man with a sadistic glint in his eyes which settled on your form.

“Well then, it appears we have to resolve this issue somehow,” he said, “I thought this party was getting a bit dull, and I was right.”

The smile on his face was enough to send chills up your spine. It was cold and didn't quite reach his eyes, full of malicious intent. 

“You claim she attacked you and yet she claims you tried to defile her,” he said, pointing to the man and then you respectively.

The smirk on Joffrey's face turned into something wicked as he spoke his next words:

“A duel should put this to rest, should it not?”

An excited murmur spread through the crowd, the prospect of barbaric entertainment drawing their attention. Of course the King had no real intentions of settling this dispute. In truth, most women in Westeros were forced to endure far worse than you just had without anyone saying a word. The only reason he intervened at all was for his own sick pleasure.

“Will you choose a champion, Ser?” Joffrey asked the man beside you.

“I have no need” he said smugly, “I can fight my own battles, I'm not a woman.”

Hearty laughs and leers were heard in the crowd as he said that, unsheathing his sword and brandishing it drunkenly. 

“Let's have at it!” he shouted to the sky. 

Joffrey's smirk only widened as he turned to you.

“And you,” he said, clearly pleased with himself, “Since you are so bold and brave to speak out against this man, why don't you fight as your own champion?”

Laughter erupted throughout the crowd of men around you at the King's joke and your gaze darkened.

“Very well.”

The hall seemed to go silent at your words but you trudged onwards.

“I will fight for myself,” you stated confidently. 

Where there had been excitement before, there was now an air of nervousness. The man behind the King stared at you intently in something akin to disbelief but not without intrigue.

“Is she serious? She's just a woman,” you heard someone whisper.

“It was a joke, lass,” one of the soldiers called to you, “No need to get your pretty little dress dirty.”

“Don't be stupid, girl!” another shouted, “You'll get yourself killed!”

You saw the golden-haired man put a hand on the King's shoulder, a stern, warning look on his face.

“Your Grace-”

“Silence!” Joffrey seethed, slapping his hand away and successfully killing the chatter in the room, “If the girl wants her fight so badly, then so be it.” That twisted smile reappeared on his face as he acknowledged you directly, “Although I assume she'll need to arm herself first.”

A few obligated chuckles followed his statement which you quickly silenced.

“That won't be necessary, Your Grace,” you said.

You wordlessly knelt down to reach under the table where you were sitting before, gasps audible as you produced your sword in its scabbard. The head of a serpent was molded onto its hit, the intricate carvings in the thin, silver blade catching the light as you unsheathed it. 

“Valyrian steel?” you heard someone say in disbelief.

“Impossible,” Joffrey muttered, “There's only a handful of them left in Westeros.”

“Well I'm not from around here,” you said, downing the rest of your wine in one gulp and taking a step forward. The crowd parted like the red sea as you stepped into the hall's center.

The man only chuckled, twirling his blade in his hand. 

“You must have a death wish, girlie.” 

“What is your name?” you asked, feeling the familiar weight and balance of your sword in your hand. 

“Grag Brask,” he grinned cockily, “Remember it well, woman.”

“Well then, Ser Grag,” you stepped forward, a dangerous smile playing on your lips, “Are you going to stand around all day or are we going to fight?”

Joffrey seemed to recover from his initial shock, composing himself and raising his hand in the air. 

“Let the duel commence!”

Before the King had even finished his sentence Grag charged at you with a great yell, swinging his sword in a wide and predictable arc. He was a fair bit larger than you, but you knew you had the upper hand when it came to agility. You ducked under his blade with ease, promptly kicking him between his shoulder blades. He grunted in pain as he stumbled forward, one hand darting to the ground to keep himself steady as his own weight worked against him.

You wasted no time with an attack of your own, moving to strike him in the side. He narrowly blocked your attack and grunted as he felt himself be thrown even more off his center of balance. You swiftly went in for another blow, this time coming from above. Grag parried before your blade could come down on top of his head and pushed you away, putting some distance between you two.

You silently relished in his shocked and agitated expression as you twirled your sword around your wrist, looking around at the audience you'd accumulated. If it's a show they wanted, then you'd happily provide. 

Grag let out a growl, sounding much more irritated than his last, as he charged you again. You held your ground until he was less than a meter away before swiftly stepping to the side. However he surprised you by grabbing hold of your sword hand, twisting it in an attempt to disarm you. You delivered a harsh kick to his armored torso but his grip refused to loosen. 

You let out a sharp exhale as you tossed your sword from your right hand to your left, striking him in the side of his armor. Grag's eyes widened in surprise, attempting to block your swing. However he was unused to dueling anyone with a blade in their left hand and found the angle he had to reach awkward. A sharp clang! rang out in the great hall as you delivered another crippling blow to his torso, every strike sending him further and further back. 

Grag made one last feeble attempt at an offensive maneuver, aiming straight for your head. You parried the attack with your left hand easily, your body moving on its own muscle memory. You twisted your blade around his until the momentum pried it from his grasp, his sword skidding across the polished marble floor. 

He didn't have any time to react before you swept his feet from under him. He crumpled into a heap on the floor as you kicked him in the side so he was on his back. You placed your right foot on his windpipe, the point of your blade against his cheek.

“Yield,” you said.

“This isn't over,” he coughed out. 

Your eyes narrowed as you increased the pressure on his neck. He gargled pathetically as you did.

“Oh, I think it is,” you said, “I don't draw blood if it isn't needed, and it seems I didn't have to at all to beat you.” 

Your smirk widened as you leaned in closer to his face.

“Tell me, Ser Grag, have you ever been beaten by an opponent in a dress and corset?” you asked devilishly. 

Joffrey's expression was furious, clearly disappointed that you weren't in pieces on the floor. You shot an innocent smile his way. 

“Won't you call this off, Your Grace?” you asked sweetly, “This has certainly been entertaining but I'd hate to spoil a party with a death, no matter how tempting it may be.”

Joffrey looked like he was going to burst in anger at any moment, but Grag spoke before he could.

“I. . . I yield,” he said bitterly.

He gasped for air as your foot left his throat.

“Lords and ladies, the victor. . .” Joffrey glanced over to you with clear disdain as he trailed off, waiting for you.

“(Y/n), Your Grace,” you said with a smile.

The audience, once out of shock, erupted in applause. Most of them had never seen a woman fight in their lives, and taking down one of the head knights of the Kingsguard was no easy task.

Jaime watched you from the corner of the room as you curtsied playfully, sheathing your blade and brushing imaginary dirt from your dress. You fascinated him already. Your fighting style was unlike anything he'd seen in Westeros. You struck to disarm, not to kill, though there was no doubt in his mind you were capable of the latter. On top of that, you were proficient wielding a blade with your left hand. . .

He found himself glancing over at you again as you gave your gratitude to those who congratulated you. You weren't the traditional Westerosi lady, that was for sure- your words were crass, your temper hot, and yet your features were soft. Your (e/c) eyes seemed to light up as a little girl stared up at you in awe, jumping up and down as she praised your skills. Wisps of (h/c) hair had come undone from your braid in the fight and you gracefully tucked them behind your ear as you scooped up the child in your arms to ask her name.

“She could be useful,” a voice suddenly jolted Jaime from his thoughts as he looked to the side and then down at his brother. 

“When did you get here?” Jaime sighed, “And what do you mean 'useful'?”

“You saw her fight, she's no ordinary lady,” Tyrion said, “And I know you noticed her skill with her left hand. Given your current circumstances, she's an ideal teacher.”

“I don't need a teacher,” Jaime scoffed, “It's not as if my knowledge of the sword was cut off along with my hand.”

“No, but you certainly ought to learn how to connect that head of yours with your hand, because as we stand you can barely write your own name,” Tyrion countered. 

Jaime grumbled to himself, out of witty remarks in that regard.

And that's how he somehow found himself, the very next week, on a wide plateau above the water, waiting for you to arrive.

Tyrion hadn't exactly given him a choice once he confirmed these sessions with you, and the small bit of anxiety creeping up in his chest surprised him. He looked down at his left hand, clenching and unclenching it into a fist. Would he really be able to fight again? What if he completely made a fool of himself in front of you? He'd never even talked to you, your first impression was going to be him barely able to wield a blade.

He exhaled sharply as he took another deep breath in. What if there really was no helping him? He felt his gut twist, feeling conflicted. He felt like the most useless creature in Westeros at the moment, and yet the lingering trace of pride in him didn't want to reach out to anyone for help. He didn't want to be seen as useless as he felt- as everyone else said he was now. 

His head turned towards the docks as he heard footsteps approaching to see you and Tyrion. Instead of the embroidered dress he had seen you in at the party, you wore a simple pair of slacks and a flowy white shirt which you had tied at the waist. Your hair twisted around your head like a crown, the rest braided loosely to the side. Your sword rested against your hip in all its glory, and a burlap bag was slung over your shoulder.

You smiled at Jaime as you came to a stop in front of him and he felt his breath hitch in the back of his throat. Hell if you weren't beautiful. . .

None of this went unnoticed by Tyrion who looked between you two, making a point of clearing his throat before speaking up.

“Jaime, this is Lady (Y/n). Lady (Y/n), this is my brother, Jaime. Hopefully he can learn a thing or two from you.”

Jaime scowled inwardly, turning away slightly from you two.

“You flatter me, My Lord,” you chuckled, “I'm sure I'll have some things to learn from him as well.”

Tyrion nodded to you before turning on his heels and beginning to walk away. 

“Have fun,” he called over his shoulder, “And do try not to kill him, most of our family would like him back alive.” 

You grinned at his remark and turned your attention to Jaime. You had seen him a bit during your duel at the party, but you took a moment to study him more closely. His eyes appeared a brighter green in the afternoon sun, and you could see the faintest splatter of freckles across his tanned skin.

“Something you find interesting?” he asked, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“You're different than I expected,” you replied simply. 

“How so?” he asked, quirking a brow.

“I expected you to be. . . I don't know, taller? More handsome?” you said playfully.

“With two hands?” he chuckled, taking a light jab at himself. 

“Well, truth be told, I didn't know who you were when I saw you at the party,” you admitted, a bit embarrassed, “I only found out when Tyrion approached me afterwards.”

That surprised Jaime for two reasons. One, he hadn't even known that you noticed him at the party, and two, you truly didn't seem to know or care who he was.

“Like I said, I'm not from around here,” you said, going off his expression. 

“And where would that be?” Jaime questioned. 

“Wouldn't you like to know?” Your smirk widened as you stood in front of him.

“Oh, I would,” he grinned up at you, “Among other things, if you're up to sharing.”

Damn that smile. 

You forced yourself to hold your ground as you spoke.

“How about a deal? Each time you land a hit on me I'll tell you something about myself,” you grinned back. 

“You seem pretty confident that I won't be able to hit you,” Jaime said, feigning offense. 

“On the contrary,” you said, sliding your bag off your shoulder and dumping its contents onto the cobblestone. Two training swords tumbled out making Jaime look up at you.

“You're joking, right?” he scoffed, actually taking offense this time, “I haven't used a training weapon since I was nine.”

“Tell me something, Jaime Lannister,” you began, picking up one of the dulled blades, “Have you even attempted to hold a sword since you lost that hand?” 

That shut him up fairly quickly. 

“No,” he said quietly, begrudgingly picking up the weapon. 

“Let's take it slow,” you said, sensing his unease, “Although, I won't be going easy on you.”

“Wouldn't dream of it,” Jaime replied, sounding a lot more confident than he felt. Simply holding the weight of the sword upright in his left hand put strain on his wrist he hadn't felt since he was a child. It felt heavier than a sword ever had in his right, the center of its balance precariously placed.

“Defend yourself,” you instructed him, lunging at him with surprising speed. 

Jaime's eyes widened as he stumbled to block your attack, biting his lip as his wrist bent at an awkward angle to do so. You wasted no time going in for another offensive maneuver, sliding your foot in front of you and turning to strike him in his blind spot. Jaime grunted as the practice sword made contact with his ribcage and he fought to ignore the painful sensation. 

When he managed to turn to face you, you had already ducked under his arm, swiftly bringing the hilt of your sword between his shoulder blades and making him fall forward. Even as he knelt at the floor you didn't relent, and a sharp clang of metal rang through the air as he brought up his sword horizontally to block your downward attack. You really weren't kidding about going easy on him.

You backed away, letting him come to his feet but not waiting a moment more than that. You circled him like a predatory animal, observing his stance and body language. When his grip on his sword loosened slightly so he could adjust it, you sprang forward and delivered another harsh blow to his side. Jaime grit his teeth and whirled around, striking at you straight on. You avoided the attack with a simple tilt of your head, seamlessly shifting your weight to deliver a roundhouse to his gut.

Jaime reeled back as the air was knocked out of his lungs and he staggered back on the impact.

“I thought I told you to defend first,” you said, “How are you going to get the opportunity to attack if you can't avoid your opponent's?”

“I know that,” Jaime huffed, irritated, “I'm not a child, I'm the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, I know the basics of swordplay you so desperately want to reteach me.”

You lowered your sword and studied him curiously, an unreadable expression on your face.

“So that's what it is,” you sighed, “I know what you're thinking, 'How can this girl possibly be qualified to teach me? I have years of experience on her and I've managed just fine on my own until now. I've never needed any help. I'm a prodigy. If I had my right hand right now I'd be able to beat her with my eyes closed.' Well let me tell you something, Lannister, you don't have your right hand anymore, and it isn't growing back any time soon.”

You charged him again and he struggled to block you once more.

“You know you need help but you're too proud to ask for it,” you stated confidently, “And more than that, you're giving up.”

“I'm not,” he countered breathlessly. He made a half-arsed attempt to take a swing at you which you easily countered.

“It seems you already have,” you said, your eyes narrowing. 

“Why are you even here?” he snapped, “If my brother offered you gold to work with a lost cause then I'll pay you triple and you can just leave already.”

That set you off.

In one swift movement you swiped his feet out from under him, grabbing his sword out of his hand as he tumbled backwards. He cursed under his breath and was about to counter with another evasive, witty retort when he froze as you drew your real sword, pressing the blade to his chest. 

“Your brother did offer me gold,” you said, “and I told him I had no need for it. So listen up-From what I've heard, your skill with the sword was unmatched. If you want to get back to that point it's not going to be easy, and it's not going to be fun either. But if you're going to give up before you've even started, then just walk away. Don't waste your time, and don't waste mine either.”

Jaime was both taken aback and slightly turned on by your demanding tone as you stood over him. He could tell you meant every word you said, and something told him that he could trust you. 

Your expression softened slightly as you sighed and sheathed your blade, staring at the uncertain man in front of you.

“You aren't a lost cause,” you said.

His heart pounded in his ears as he stared up at you, and that's when he realized: You weren't here to laugh at him like so many others had. You weren't here for gold or a shallow round in his bed. You were here to help him become the greatest fighter in Westeros once again. He knew what you said was true, this wasn't going to be easy or fun, but he was willing to work for it. You had lit a fire under his ass. 

He wordlessly reached down for the practice sword and took up a fighting stance, and you knew something had changed in him. 

“Alright then,” you grinned widely, readying your own weapon,

“Let's do this, Jaime Lannister.

[blissfulalchemist]

@jedi-mabari and @deathvalleyqueen I am so sorry this took me a while to get to but angst makes my heart hurt 😔 but I do hope you enjoy this piece still! 💜

The amount of times one gets to lay under the sun in the middle of a haunted town was almost never, unless your girlfriend was a figurehead of a cult. It was my idea to come here though, no one ever came here, we could be safe. Out in the open, just me and Faith like we should have been any other time of our lives.

It’s silent between the two of us as we listen to the buzzing of bugs, eyes closed, her loose hair brushing my cheeks in the wind. The sun feels warmer than it did just an hour ago, I figure it has to do with the Bliss we’ve both taken a little bit of, maybe I should have brought some music. She’s gotten better about her intake and I indulge every now and then, just to take the edge off when it all starts feeling like too much. That seems to be happening more often. If I had music I’d play something soft. I feel light despite the fear that weighs me down. Fear that I’m going to ruin this moment as my thoughts go back to the reason I invited her here.

I figured out something about our past, one we’ve apparently shared this entire time. I had finally made it to my childhood in my dad’s writings and there were too many similarities for it to be just a coincidence. Seeing her the next day, the light hitting her eyes, it all clicked. All the memories I didn’t want to acknowledge for years because they hurt, the feelings of a twelve year old’s crush, and the hollow chest I buried away after I came back to find Rachel gone. It all hurt again and it took me some time to figure out if I was mad at her or not. I am far from happy in the things she’s done but I still see her, the Rachel I knew, she’s in there somewhere.

Her hand reaches out for mine, the barest touch of her skin against mine relaxes my body, “You haven’t spoken in a while,” I need to keep my mouth shut, ”Is everything okay, Chance?” Her voice is soft as I hear the dirt shift under her, she’s turning to face me.

My heart is pounding as I entwine my fingers with hers, my free hand starting to feel clammy. “Everything is,” I hesitate with my words, because everything isn’t okay. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids but so much has changed since then. I love you, the woman you are now. I love you….and I can’t help but feel that I shouldn’t.

She’s propping herself up on her elbow, “Chance?” She’s brushing some of my hair out of my eyes, I have yet to open them fully, my hand feels empty and lost without hers. “Talk to me,” she’s worried about me.

I move to sit up bringing my knees up to rest my arms against them, “Faith….I- Well there’s something I need to tell you.” I meet her eyes briefly, she’s regarding me with her blue-green eyes that seem to see deep into me. I take a deep breath, “I was reading my dad’s journals and well,” my mouth starts to go dry, “I think we were friends before this. Back when we were kids.” I glance at her trying to read her face, she meets mine with a small smile.

She’s moving to sit up with me, her arms enveloping me, “I know,” she kisses my shoulder as my head’s reeling. She knew this whole time and didn’t tell me? How did she figure it out so fast? “I forgive you too.”

“Wait, what?” I pull back quickly facing her, my eyes narrowing, “You forgive me? How did you even figure out that we were practically best friends? And why keep that a secret from me?”

She shrugs like this whole thing is nothing, “I didn’t know at first until you brought me over the day you caused a grenade to come at me. I saw the picture on your mantle,” she’s reaching her hand out to me, “I recognized your face. I’ve always known what you looked like when you disappeared. I have a picture of the two of us in my room.” She’s laughing, grabbing my hand tracing my tattoos. My blood’s running cold with each line she makes. She knew, “You remember when we still did the team mud run at the Testy Festy. Everyone kept telling us we were too small and we’d get lost in the mud. We ended up winning first place after you tripped everyone else.”

She knew! I’m on my feet, my hands balling into fists at my sides, “This isn’t some joke Faith! Why keep this from me?” There’s a breaking in my chest.

She flinches, regaining her confidence quickly meeting my eyes head on, “I thought you’d known since the beginning and that’s why you were so nice to me. When I figured out that you didn’t, I didn’t want you to leave again.” She hangs her head crossing her legs under her. Playing the victim.

“How the fuck can I leave! I’m trapped here,” I’m clenching and unclenching my hands, shutting my eyes pushing aside the rage building up in me, “and your new little family is the reason why!” I shouldn’t be shouting, I just can’t stop myself. She knew and she’s blaming me for something I didn’t do!

She’s on her feet quickly, her hands in fists at her sides, “That wasn’t my fault! You all should have let us be! If you want someone to blame for you being trapped here, blame your damn Marshall!”

“He wouldn’t have had to come if you had just stayed as some peaceful religious group and not resorting to kidnapping some poor woman from a different state!” Her face turns to confusion as I continue, “The file we got said she’s denying any wrongdoing but there was too much evidence to say otherwise. We just needed to bring him in to question him and hope that maybe she’d talk about it. Be the corroboration that was needed for the video.”

“Video,” she whispers to herself. There’s another word mumbled that I can’t make out as she’s looking to the ground, her eyes moving from side to side like she’s trying to put something together. I can tell she knows what I’m talking about, how couldn’t she not. Everything related back to them. She shakes her head, “Maybe she’s right and it was nothing,” waving the situation off making her voice softer, “Look can we just forget about this.” She smiles and moves closer to me.

There’s an attempt to grab my hands, I pull them away crossing my arms, “No! There’s one more thing,” her face has become neutral and I hate her even more right now, “You said you forgive me. What exactly do you forgive me for?”

She rolls her eyes giving a snort, “You know what it is. You hurt me but it's okay because I forgive you.” Faith, no Rachel, runs a hand down my cheek.

My jaw clenches, “For what!” Everything she’s doing is to distract me from the problem at hand. I’m not going to forget this, I don’t want to put this off to the side never to be thought of again. “Faith I have no idea what you’re talking about? Just tell me and don’t play your little games with me.”

I watch as her head falls, there’s tears forming in her eyes, “You never came back.”

I drop my arms, “Oh,” I know exactly what she’s talking about now. The summer I promised her we would save her, that I would finally become the White Knight she always called me. My grandfather had let it slip and I couldn’t keep the secret, I had to tell her. Looking back I shouldn’t have said anything and listened to my grandfather. I just had the excitement of a kid barring me from thinking of the what if’s. She’s wrong though too, “I did come back. You were gone Faith. You left too.”

Her face turns red, eyes narrowing, her jaw clenching. I swear she’s going to break her teeth with how tight it is, “After I waited!” She’s pointing an accusing finger at me, “I waited for you!” I’m pushed back a step as she shoves me, escaping tears falling down her cheeks, “For three years Chance! Three! Years!” Her small fists are pounding against my chest and I don’t say or do anything, just let her continue, “I don’t know if you could tell already but my life went to hell when you left and didn’t come back! It was bad before that and you promised me that you would come back and things were going to get better!” I watch as the tears fall from her eyes. Her words are choked as the tears turn to sobs, “You promised and then you didn’t come back! I waited hoping you would come back for me.” I watch as she hunches over clutching her chest, her shoulders shaking with the sobs.

What can one even say to that admission? I know she’s telling the truth, I’ve seen her lie to other people, even when talking about her past, she never gets that emotional. There’s too many details in it that match up with my memory of the events. I hang my head, I promised her, I need to calm down and she needs to understand. “I was twelve Faith,” I keep my voice soft trying to keep the emotions I never let go of at bay, “and my father had just died.” I reach out to her tilting her chin up to meet my eyes, “My life didn’t turn to roses either, you know.” We were both kids, Rachel. We both made mistakes, I want to yell at her. Make her understand because there are some things that I just can’t explain any other way. I was a child, I was upset, I lost part of my world, and I didn’t know how to even begin to understand what that meant, let alone how to deal with it. To move on.

The anger returns as her eyes darken to an icy blue, “You had it a hell of a lot easier than I did! You still had someone that loved you! I didn’t! I was alone!”

My eyes go wide and there’s nothing else I can do but laugh, “Bullshit!” Faith flinches as I stand straighter, “You had Tracey, your best friend, you remember her? She wanted to stick by you and you told her to fuck off. She was someone that loved you and you pushed her away!” My breathing is shallow and fast, “So don’t go and tell me that you had no one! You did but you didn’t want them! That’s on you! Not me!”

“She couldn’t see that I wanted a family to love me! They made me feel like family, Chance! How could I turn my back on that!”

“They aren’t your family!” How many times am I going to have to tell you that!

“And how would you know?!” I can’t help but notice that she’s standing on the balls of her feet trying to reach my height, “You don’t have a family any more! Yours is dead and gone!” My hand’s starting to shake, I want nothing more than to slap her as horrible as it sounds. There’s a lump forming in my throat as I bite my tongue, “They’re gone and you refuse to let anyone else in as family! What a sad, lonely, fucking life that is! It’s no wonder that you hate yourself so much!”

My jaw clenches as I lean my face inches from her, “Fuck you,” it’s quieter than I thought it would be. Icier. It’s a low blow, she knows that and she doesn’t care or else she never would have said it. I never want anything to ever do with her again. I turn away from her making my way to the truck.

Her laughter reaches me as a cackle as she calls out to me, mocking me, “Good old Chance! Running away from everything he claims to care about when things get too hard!”

“Screw you!” The truck door slams, glancing in her direction, she’s upset but looks as if she could care less. The tires squeal as I pull out of the town leaving her behind, music on full blast, the screams making my ears ring. I’m by the bridge to cross over to the valley when I pull over putting the truck in park. I’m not screaming to sing along with the music anymore. My fingers are sore as I finally release the wheel. Bruises forming along my wrist and hands from beating the steering wheel until the energy leaves my body. I’m left leaning my head against the steering wheel catching my breath.

She’s right, she’s right. I run away and I never look back. The only reason I even came back here was because it was forced upon me. I was expecting to be dead by now, even before this reaping. She’s right, it is a lonely fucking life I’ve lived. So lonely. I was still lonely, even after meeting people here, and she was the only person that made life seem less so.

She was wrong though. I was just a kid. How was I supposed to know she was waiting for me? I’m so lonely. She let herself be lulled into the arms of her false prophet, to live the life she lived. She and Tracey could have gone anywhere and they chose to come to them. Rachel chose to stay. I’m so alone.

I don’t want to have anything to do with her. I want her back here already. I wipe away the tears from my eyes. I never should have loved her in the first place. I know who she is now, what she’s done. I need her arms around me. She’s the woman that’s drugged people to the point of losing themselves. Why did I ever think I loved her? My chest feels empty. She let a woman be taken from her family for almost a year! She’s done nothing but lie to me. I don’t need her.

I don’t need anyone. I’ve lived life on my own this long. I can survive on my own. The pain in my chest grows, the waves of sobs starting again. Why do I have a feeling like I don’t have to be alone any more?

Because it’s the wrong feeling. It’s just the grief and anger. The unresolved issues rearing their head. The things I’ve never talked about, things that don’t matter, things that I never want to see again. She’s right. I hate myself. She’s right. I run away. She’s right….god damnit she’s right….and I don’t want to be here anymore. This was never my problem to begin with.

High time I make their mess no longer mine to solve. I was fine before this, before my arrest. I let them all get into my head. Let myself believe that there was ever anything wrong with me. I don’t want to be this anymore. I want to be me again. So that’s what I’ll do. I’m on the road again the water works slowing as I make my way to a place I’ve only ever been once. My crying has stopped as I drive up to the abandoned bunker. Last time I was here for supplies, back then though I left one behind. The bottles are still there, thirty of them. All of them different types and brands, some I know are of shit quality but that won’t matter much. Good for a month, maybe less, I don’t know how much it will take to make me feel like me again.

I’m hesitating as I hold one in my hand ready to twist the top. Should I do this still? I’ve worked so hard to stop myself. It’s been almost three years since my last drink. Am I ready to throw that all away? The top is in my hand dropping to the floor. No ones going to care, I shouldn’t care what they think either. I functioned just fine with it and I can do it again. There’s a voice still screaming in my head to stop as I bring the bottle to my lips….

And I have to say, the burning of that first sip feels like coming home.

[thewonderingstars]

Alright.

Let's talk about Hades.

I'll say this out front, Hades has probably been the best video game I played this year. Not that I've played a lot. For those that don't know, I really don't like playing video games. I tend to get stressed out to easily. I scream. I yell. I throw the control. My gaming achievements is that I have over 650+ hours in Animal Crossing and barely squeaked by saving the bare minimum Mudokons in New and Tasty.

However, I will dive right into a good plot and hyperfixate on a game that I have never completed (see Hollow Knight and Bloodborne). Yet, within the short time I've had Hades, maybe two weeks now, I have put in 100+ hours, done most of the major sidequests and nearly 100% it.

So, why? Again, like the simple creature I am, I'm doing it for the plot. While, Hollow Knight is a miserable experience wrapped in cute bugs; Hades is the most wholesome thing I've played and it looks like a Meatloaf album cover. Ironically, both deal with a similar topic; nihlisim and what to do about it.

Hollow Knight and Hades live on the same line of death repeats itself, but take it in two extremes.

In Hollow Knight, you are made to feel that your attempts are for nothing. Hallownest is dead. The Infection is stagnant. It's quite literally trapped in a time bubble of undeath. You, as the Knight, are trapped in a cycle of undeath.

There is life in Hallownest, but standing on a razor's edge. In fact, most of the main NPCs (either through the Knight's own doing or their own) die. And die suddenly. Because a most of these characters are so beaten down and tired of the cycles of meaningless actions they are subjected to.

The Knight, itself, is purposely emotionless to further convey that. And in one of the endings, you are the true Hollow Knight.

Then there's Hades...

Prince Zagreus is in a similar situation as the Knight. He is in a constant state of death and resurrection. However, where the Knight feels like a (literal) empty vessel, Zagreus is probably one of the best written characters I've seen in a while. Prince Zagreus is actively involved with the plot of his story, instead of the Knight's narrow minded mission.

So, what is his plot? To put it simply, Zagreus wants to fix his family. Prince Zagreus is son of Hades, Lord of the Underworld and the nephew/cousin to that Olympian Gods. If you've ever took a 5th grade history class, you would know how fucked up the Green Gods were.

This presented as a fruitless task. Hades states to Zagreus, over and over again, that he cannot leave the Underworld. Once you go there; you cannot escape. The terrain moves to keep souls trap there. Yet, Zagreus keeps throwing himself into the meat grinder, dying and trying again. Mostly because he's a stubborn asshole, but every time he goes through he meets people and slowly starting to change their lives for the better. Prince Zagreus main character trait is his compassion for those around him.

A great example of this is that Zagreus has the ability to renovate his home which is the main hub of the game. In world, Hades let it go into disorder because he feels that there is little point into it. It's a building that he lives and works in and that's all he sees it as. Zagreus goes out of his way to improve it; fixing the walls, adding more lighting, giving it decorations. The best thing, the NPCs living in the House of Hades actually comment on it. Their moods improve. They become friendlier and happier as time goes on.

While the Knight is complicit in its repeated life cycles; Zagreus actively tries to break it. Despite of it's impossible nature. Zagreus wants to go by others. The Knight only knows one goal and does not actively support the others it comes across.

And...we kinda need that right now. Let's face it, this year was shit. And as much as I love Hollow Knight; I couldn't not bring myself to play it. It's depressing tone was just too much for me to handle. I literally still can't go to the Blue Lake because of what has happened to Quirrel.

And for a time, I thought Hades was going to be the same thing. I've played Bastian, SuperGiant's first game, and had the same reaction. I picked up Hades cause I needed something to play while I was at my sister's and I adore SuperGiant's storytelling and artstyle.

I was so wrong. As I played through the main campaign, I found that I was getting uplifted by Zagreus's positivity. I found myself cheering when he made a new friend or got pass a tough spot. Right now, I got excited over the character Tisiphone trying to say his name when she can only say one thing; murder.

I'm so happy just playing this game and talking to the NPCs when the only thing that was really doing that this year was Animal Crossing.

So please, pick up and play Hades. It's on sale right now on Steam. I think it's on sale on the Switch for Black Friday. It's like 30 bucks and it's worth every penny.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[sage-nebula]

(do NOT reblog or I’ll delete the post and block you)

This past week I’ve really felt like I might be relapsing. I’ve been back on my nocturnal (i.e. normal for this hemisphere) sleep schedule for a while now, which leaves me constantly tired; I haven’t felt in the mood to eat anything, though I’ve been forcing myself to do so anyway at least; I’ve been finding it harder to think of myself as pretty or cute when I look in the mirror; my depression and anxiety have felt like they’re kicking up again despite the Lexapro, and the negative intrusive self-talk has gotten worse, to the point where I just blurted out, “I’m so stupid” one night for a simple mistake, and it took a moment before I corrected myself with, “No, I’m not stupid, I’m actually quite smart and intelligent, it just slipped my mind because I’m tired.” 

This morning it was bad enough that I was actually fretting on my way to work about, what if the Lexapro is losing its effectiveness? I’m on a 10mg dosage now. We can still increase to 20mg, but I’m pretty sure that’s the limit. And even if it wasn’t, can it lose its effectiveness over a mere two months? Where does that leave me, if so? I don’t want it to lose its effectiveness. I want it to keep helping me. I need it to keep helping me.

All of that said, this evening I got a clue that my shark week is I think just starting (like this is the very very first day of it, not even the first full day), and when I realized that, my reaction was just, “Ah.” If that is the case, that . . . probably explains things, and also means that the Lexapro is likely not losing its effectiveness. That’s a relief.

But I still also have to remember that even if I relapse some, that doesn’t mean I’ve failed, or that it’s a permanent failure. If you’re climbing up a mountain, and you slip and fall back down part of the way, you can still climb back up. It will be painful, and hard, but so long as you’re alive---so long as I’m alive---I can do it. Relapses are a normal part of the recovery process, and recovery like what I have to go through is an ongoing journey without an end. I just have to keep climbing, and try not to feel too badly about myself during the periods when I slip and fall. I can climb back up, and get back to where I was, and I deserve to. I deserve to make and have that progress, and I don’t deserve to be hurt or treated badly, least of all by myself. I need to be in my own corner first and foremost, so my brain needs to start giving me consistent positive self-talk instead of negative. I need to keep working on that. I need to keep climbing.

Though I will say that certain recent events have had me thinking about my childhood and adolescence again, and the abuse I went through back then that left me with the C-PTSD I’m constantly trying to recover from now. And it’s little things from back then, too, like---there were really, really bad incidents, and some really, severely fucked up times I went through, and stories that are too personal or painful for me to share here (both because I don’t like thinking about them, but also because I don’t like to hand them over to others to use against me, as has happened in the past). But it’s also little things, like---I like to get physical copies of video games so that I can have the game cases lined up on my media shelf. I have the actual game cards in my Switch carrying case, so I can have them with me wherever I have my Switch, but I like having the cases on the shelf, and seeing them all lined up there. Counting them off, you know. And I was thinking about why I like this. I don’t think I’m a materialistic person, generally; I do want my house to look cool, but I’m not one of those people who, if I won the lottery, I’d by a sixty room mansion and fill it with pointless, but expensive, garbage. I’d keep my same place, my same car, all that. I don’t really want a life of luxury, I just want to live comfortably.

So I’m not overly materialistic, and I don’t value collecting things for the sake of collecting them . . . but I like seeing my cases lined up on the game shelf, and I’m just as excited to add more cases to that shelf as I am to play the new games as they come out. (Also, I wish that games like Celeste and Night in the Woods would get physical releases so I could add those cases to my shelf as well.) I was thinking about why this is, and I realized that it’s because I never had a lot of games in my youth. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve owned a lot of video game consoles in my life time, but for every console or handheld I had, I usually only had a handful of games. Like, I had six games for my N64 growing up. I think that back when the Gamecube was actually relevant, I had about seven games, and even then, over my lifetime I only got that number up to about twelve. And this isn’t a Dudley Dursley kind of temper tantrum competition game, wherein I whine about just not having enough games, because I did like and appreciate the games I had. But like, with the N64, I had those six games, and meanwhile my brother had over thirty to choose from. This was because I lived with my biological mother, whereas he lived with my dad and (step)mom, and our economic situations were very, very different. (Read: My biological mother was dirt poor and spent any money we did have, including the child support, on herself, whereas my brother had the middle class lifestyle with three parents and tons of extended relatives who doted on him and gave him anything he wanted.) And I never complained about this back then, but I remember feeling so impressed when I opened up his N64 cartridge case whenever I was at my dad’s house and saw all those games to choose from, whereas when I opened my own cartridge case (identical to his), it was . . . much emptier.

And then with the Gamecube (which I got later than everyone else because even though my dad sent me money to get one as a Christmas present, my biological mom took that money and spent it on herself), there was an extra level of messed up because my biological mom decided to run a scam with Wal-Mart for a while. Basically what she would do is she would buy things with a credit card, and then return them later to get cash money that she could then spend on necessities. (Why she didn’t just buy the necessities with the credit card instead of racking up credit card debt I don’t know. I stopped trying to figure out her thought processes a long time ago.) The reason why this is relevant to the story is because she decided the best way to do this was with video games. So when I was about thirteen, she told me to go to the games section and pick out a few games. I very excitedly ran over and picked some out, so happy I was getting to add some new ones to my library, and I remember specifically that Mario Kart: Double Dash was one of them, because I had wanted that for a very long time. We bought the games and went home. And when I went to go put Double Dash in to play it, she told me I couldn’t do that because we were going to return them. I was hurt and confused. I didn’t understand. And when I questioned her, she grew furious that I was back talking and arguing. I guess the one benefit is that I knew to choose games I wasn’t actually interested in the next time she used me to run the scam.

Anyway, this is all relevant because I wanted a bigger games library growing up, and I just didn’t have the opportunity to have it. Even after I moved out of her house, I never wanted to ask my parents for too much, not only because I felt the answer was likely to be “no,” but also because I was just grateful that Shiloh and I were away from my biological mother. And even after I started working, and especially after I moved out of my parents’ house and into my own apartment, I still didn’t have a lot of disposable income to spend on video games. Not only that, but I usually got new systems a couple years behind everyone else (with the 3DS being the first exception, but even then, I didn’t have a lot of disposable income at first so I couldn’t keep up with the library the way I wanted to), so trying to figure out which games to buy was a nightmare. The result of which being, although I helped form my university’s video game club back in my sophomore year (I was nineteen), I felt like the weak link of the officer squad. I loved video games, and I was pretty good at a lot of them, but I also was so inexperience compared with everyone else, who had way more games than I did.

But with the Switch, it’s different now. I got the Switch on launch day thanks to Christmas money allowing me to preorder it, and although I’m still supporting myself and still struggle bussing every month, the games I want are usually either a bit cheaper (such as Hollow Knight being only $15), or they’re spaced out enough so that I can afford them (+ I have credit cards I can use). Since I’ve had it since launch and I’ve been in this position since launch, I’ve been able to keep up with new releases. My library still isn’t huge (I have nine physical games, plus three digital that I love---and one of those digital games is getting a physical release in spring), but it’s growing, and I know I’ll add more games to it in the coming months. And I guess it’s important to me not because of materialism or anything like that, but because it’s symbolic that I’m at a place in my life now where I can grow this library, where I can do what I always wanted to, but never could as a kid. When I buy games myself, I know they’re mine, and no one can take them from me. And I’m here, in my own house, with my own media shelf (that I wallpapered with special starry paper I bought at Nijo Castle in Japan), and all of this---the house, the media shelf, the games---represent how far I’ve come, and how far I continue to go. And I know that’s weird, that I’m using a growing video game collection as a symbol of recovery because of rather small parts of my abusive childhood and adolescence (and again, I’m not saying those things were the worst I suffered, because they by far were not, but I’m not sharing the details of the worst things for personal reasons), but I’ve been thinking about it nonetheless and I think that’s how my brain has processed all this as I move through recovery.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for tonight. Reminder to NOT reblog this, or I’ll delete the post and block you, thanks.

[parf-fan]

Halloween 2018

I had hoped to have this finished and posted last week, but it took longer to write than I'd planned (and also I got sick, which slows everything down).  As it is, it only went through two-and-a-half drafts, so it is not the most well-written thing I've ever posted, for which I apologize.

This full-on essay is a critique of the 2018 Halloween scenario.  As such, it contains spoilers – major freaking spoilers – below the cut. I beg of you: if you've not yet attended the Halloween event, DO NOT READ THIS UNTIL YOU HAVE.  Even if you can't go, but plan on watching videos of it, wait to read this until you've watched the videos.  Not simply because of spoilers, but also because I do not want my opinions to affect your initial viewing.  You have been warned, and I entreat you to heed it.

Any critique worth its salt begins with the strong points, of which there are many, and I should like to talk about them anyway.

Half the new plot is awesome.  Midsummer-Night's Dream is my shit, and I am beyond stoked about the inclusion of its characters.  Even on the second day, when I knew it was coming, I could not stop myself from physically bouncing up and down in my seat from excitement at the introduction of Titania and Oberon.

The manner in which the ridiculous weather we've had all season (plus rehearsal month) was worked into the plot – not merely lampshaded or joked about, but as an actual plot-point – may be the biggest stroke of genius I've experienced at the Faire to date.  It is clever as heck, and adds an extra level of immersion.

SIX MONARCHS!  Oh, poor poor Kensington.  He didn't even freak out, he skipped directly to dead-inside acceptance.

The moment at King's Court in which the faerie monarchs are magic-tugging the goblet – and by extension, Triboulet – back and forth stuck out at me because of the excellent physical acting of Joshua Kachnycz.  He left absolutely no doubt that he was truly being magically pulled.

Likewise, Joshua's quick-change into the guise of Puck seemed exemplary to me (at least when both fog machines were working).  True, he did not change his whole attire, but in proportion to the parts he did change or add – in the middle of the stage, too! - I think he did it quickly and well.

Triboulet being Robin Goodfellow is not only totally in keeping with his character, but also bears out something he told me in Gauntlet once, something I meant to make a post about but never got the chance while I was thinking about it.  I had asked whether he had any genuine loyalty to Spain, or whether he was merely in it for the pay.  He responded with something along the lines of “Who said anything about pay?”.  Upon asking him to elaborate, he indicated that he was never hired by Spain, but rather was bent on causing chaos for the sake of chaos, stirring up shit for the pure fun of it.  That was when I knew that he'd be revealed as a faerie trickster come Halloween, but I didn't suspect Puck specifically until about two minutes before the reveal.  tl;dr, Triboulet as Puck matches perfectly with how I've been interpreting him all season.

Furthermore, the fact that it's Puck causing the primary mischief enables me to utter such phrases as “everything's Pucked up”, “Puck this”, “you motherpucker”, and “Puck you”.  It is the stupidest play on words possible, and I love it, and will likely not stop using it until everyone in the shire hates me or the season ends, whichever happens first.

Everything involved in deciding the fate / punishment of Puck is just beautiful. From seeking asylum in England, to being reduced to prose (which, mood), to throwing himself on Titania's mercy after learning about Jane's past, just all of it.  Side-splitting, well done.

THE NEW WORDS TO THE ROGUES' TREATY-SIGNING SINGING!  Oh my gosh.  When I realized what was being sung, I laughed very loudly and fairly long, probably confusing a few patrons who didn't notice the difference, possibly irritating some, definitely killing the moment for a few.  I love it.  I love it immensely and will never be over it.  For any who didn't notice or couldn't make them out, the new words are “Nosferatu, some spooky dudes,” over and over.  It is comedy gold, for the scene is so solemn and gratifying, and the new words sung in total seriousness, and with no specific attention called to them.  Comedy freaking gold, I tell you.

The mid Parting-Glass speech.  Holy shit.  Just.  Fuck me up, I have Emotions.  A lot of emotions.  I already almost cry upon hearing it, I'm gonna fuckin' bawl my eyes out on the last day.  Fuck.

The entire plot with Titania and Oberon and the conflict over the seasons and said conflict spilling over to harm the humans is spectacular, and I love it.  But the other new plot?  Not so much at all.  Why? Distilling down every issue to its core, the thing in common with them all is this: it's just bad writing.

What the wine plot tells me is that the writers' first impulse upon being presented with multiple lead romantic relationships is to do some sort of love-triangle-square bullshit.  Yet love-triangles/squares are boring and overdone, and present no challenge in terms of devising conflict.  They are uncreative.  And basing full half your plot around them is simply poor storytelling.

Similarly, one of the things I most admired about the main season was the presence of conflict without a joust to the death.  Setting up the Joust and conflict  without the promise of fatality is more of a challenge, and therefore the successful result is more engaging.  I take no issue with the fact that the Ultimate Joust is generally to! the! death!, but greatly admired the achievement of pulling off the plot without it just this once.  So when the Halloween Joust was revealed to have returned to its deadly state, I was let down.  If nonlethal Ultimate Jousts were a more common thing, perhaps I'd not be so upset about this.  But I believe this is the first one I've seen, and we all know it'll be to! the! death! once more next season.  Which I will have no problem with.  But returning the promise of fatality this season is a step backwards in quality.

During main-season Joust, I frequently found myself just beaming at the field, happy to watch six knights, all honorable in-universe (or so it seemed) and out, doing what they loved without filtering their enthusiasm through masks of hate or greed.  It was so wholesome a thing to be able to Favor any knight in wholly good conscience both in-universe and out.  Sure, Henry and Francis were being prideful idiots, but not so seriously that it compromised their morality overmuch, and thus I gladly Favored them.  I would not expect this of Joust every year, but I loved that it was so this season.  I loved that pure moment of contentedly smiling over the field, filled with love for all those riding upon it.  And I hate that I've been robbed of that moment three weeks too early.

The pre-joust dialogue was not between Francis and Henry.  I mean obviously, it wouldn't be, since they were both enchanted.  But it didn't even sound like enchanted versions of them talking.  It was straight-up Don Alonso and Sir Robert.  Literally.  Every word they said was the exact same stuff we hear from the Bad Knights, complete with the promise of drinking wine from hollowed skulls.  Perhaps it was just because I was already in a disappointed state of mind, but it just didn't seem effective.

The point that may gall me the most as a storyteller: the solution to saving the day came out of fuck-all nowhere. It was not hinted at, foreshadowed, or set up in any way.  Because I'm extra salty, let's look at some recent previous plots for a moment.  In Halloween 2016, the thing mentioned several times throughout the day was that Excalibur could only be pulled from the stone by one worthy to rule England.  Catherine drawing it forth thus fulfills a narrative promise.  In Halloween 2017, the point stated several times throughout the day was that Rumple could not be harmed by mortal man.  Thus, when Catherine successfully breaks his power, we understand why she is able to.  Main season 2018, the recurring thing throughout the day was the back-and-forth between the jesters. Thus, we can track the point to which Jane arrives at in shooting Triboulet.

But Halloween 2018, what is the point mentioned repeatedly?  What do the antagonists / new characters emphasize?  That the mortals cannot throw off the magic of the wine before sunrise.  What, then, does that indicate?  What is the logical storytelling resolution of that? That a faerie will be the one to undo it, or at least enable the humans to.  That is the narrative promise.  The fact that the mortals are able to break it on their own doesn't make sense, and cannot in any way be predicted or deduced or traced through after the fact from anything elsewhere in the plot.  That's poor storytelling, mate.

The Halloween plot is meant to up the antie.  To take things to the next level.  To be grander, more sweeping, more epic.  That's a simple fact of its existance.  And this year, the writers' idea of grander and more epic was to go from friendship-love saving the day to romantic-love saving the day?  NO! FUCK YOU!  You know better, I know you do!  Romantic-love is not inherently stronger or more important or more valid or more valuable than friendship-love, and I've always treasured the Faire as one of the few settings in which I can count on that truth being understood.  This is a betrayal.

Besides, the power of true romantic-love saving the day is amatonormative and just so. fucking. overdone.

My next point involves a different point, one I'd been meaning to write about since week one but never had time to.  I had truly hoped that the Chessmatch would be between the queens.  That's one of the things that made 2017 work so well.  The king got to win his glory at Joust, and the queen got to win her glory at Chess.  It balanced them out, and ensured that one ruler did not appear more plot-important than the other.  And so it should have been this year.  When I saw that it was not so, I took some consolation in the knowledge that the queens would at least have their moment in saving the day in Halloween.  But they didn't.  I mean, Catherine was the first to throw off the effects of the wine, if you count that, but it's not really the same. The queens were both wholly robbed of any opportunity to display their prowess and win their own triumph, and I am very much not okay with that.

Which brings me to the subject of the queens.  It may be most effective for this next point to quote directly from my stream-of-consciousness bullet-point brainstorming of all the issues I found with this scenario.

YOU MADE THE QUEENS FIGHT i will never forgive yo[u]

WHY DID YOU MAKE THE QUEENS FIGHT

LIKE REALLY

I DON’T GIVE A SHIT THAT THEY WERE ENCHANTED, I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT IN-UNIVERSE RIGHT NOW

HOW DARE YOU BREAK THAT BEAUTEOUS, WONDERFUL FRIENDSHIP AND SOLIDARITY WE’VE BEEN TREASURING ALL SEASON AND LONGING FOR FOR SO LONG

AN[D] OVER FUCKING ÉROS????? ARE YOU SHITTING ME

As the Halloween Chess initially unfolded before me, as the kings' tempers rose and they became more and more volatile toward one another, I was already thinking about the post I would write about the new scenario, and I noted that I would include something about how I was glad that at the least they didn't have the queens turn on one another.  I made specific plans to mention that as a silver lining, a partial saving grace.  And then they fell to the quarrel/fight scene between Hermia and Helena, and all I wanted to do was scream and throw things and, in hindsight, cry.

Let me take a moment to reiterate.  I fucking love Midsummer-Night's Dream.  It is my absolute favorite of Shakespeare's plays, it's the first play of any kind I ever saw, it was a facet of my childhood, and I was in two separate productions of it.  And in that play, the quarrel/fight between Hermia and Helena is one of my favorite scenes.  It's so much fun to perform, and gave rise to my tagline: though she be but little, she is fierce.  But that scene has no place here with these characters.

This then brings me to my next point.  In-universe, none of the fighting makes sense.  Since the looks matched up, everybody's wine!love was requited, and nobody felt a claim on someone another now wanted. I've watched Chess all four days, and the three most recent days, I've made active effort to track the development of the conflict, having not understood it before.  But I still cannot see what they are fighting about.  Yes, it was stated that the wine would fill the drinker with rage, but what we saw between the kings in the main season, that was rage.  This is rage combined with a massive fuckin dose of irrationality.  The reasoning gone through to arrive at both the brawl and the joust comes down to insane troll logic.  This is the second thing that bothers me the most as a storyteller.  If Oberon's line about the wine had simply included a mention of irrationality along with the rage, the whole conflict would seem a lot less bullshit.

And now, the third thing that bothers me the most as a storyteller: you guessed it, the cup.  Listen, Dumbshow-lampshading the utter lack of mention or explanation of the cup following King's Court does not make it good storytelling.  Last year's lampshade about the treaty worked because we'd already had a whole main season about that.  But the cup was just. abandoned, and not long after being introduced.  Of course I see the need for something to call the faeries to the shire, but you can't take the entire inciting macguffin of so primary a plot and so thoroughly ignore it for the rest of the story.

This is even less excusable when considered with the fact that there was ample opportunity to keep the chalice involved.  Simply have it present at Chess, mention in the preamble that the match is partially for possession of  the cup (albeit maybe temporarily), and add a line to Triboulet's toast-proposing, something about the toast also being in anticipation of the victor toasting his opponent's health from the goblet.  Once the wine takes effect and everything starts going to shit, the kings no longer care about the cup.  The cup should then also be present at Joust, since the faerie monarchs are wagering possession of it on said game.  It doesn't have to be made a fuss of, it just has to be there, and probably spared a few words in the part of the recap given by Titania and Oberon.  This would at least settle the plot point, if not resolving it, and actually turns it into something of a successful red herring.  At the start of the Chessmatch, the audience is expecting a continuation of the plot from King's Court, not a sudden love-square.  Reprising the chalice at the beginning of the match would bear that out, lulling the audience in to a false sense of plot-security, if that makes any sense.  The wine plot is then eased in rather than sudden; not because it begins any subtler, but because the fakeout plot lasts a little longer, and overlaps.

And a final, less significant note: the fae don't look like fae.  They pretty much look human.  Oberon looks his part a little better, 'cause he's got slightly odd eyes and an unusual crown, but that's it.  And Titania simply looks like a human in an orange dress and flower crown.  True, the style of her dress is not of the English Renaissance era, and that makes her stand out a bit, but it isn't disquieting.  At least the two previous years, the faeries have been visually off-putting, disturbing, unsettling, bordering on creepy. This post says it better than I can, so allow me to quote from it:

also i think that for me personally you are not doing midsummer night correctly AT ALL if you haven’t put a lot of work in on the part of the actors and costumers and makeup and other elements to make sure that the fairies are as unsettling and otherworldly and uh FAE as possible. the fairies aren’t supposed to be cute. titania should strike fear into the audiences’ hearts just by being onstage.

All in all, I have never been so disappointed in something from the Faire.  I am heartbroken, in a way.  This universe, the Megan-Zach universe, has been so very good from the start, and has just built exponentially the entire time.  There was the 2016 main season, and that was friggin' fantastic.  Then the 2016 Halloween plot, and that was even better.  Then there was 2017 main season, and that was better still.  The main season plot gave way to the 2017 Halloween plot, and bloody hell that was even better! Then there was the main season 2018, and holy fucking shit on a stick, that was freaking incredible!  And then there's the Halloween 2018 plot – which, nope.  They'd been building and building these three seasons and now, in this final moment, they partially blew it.  I've been informed that this is the last year of Megan and Zach as our monarchs, that this is it for this universe.  And this is not the note anybody – actor or patron – deserved to end on.

There are some silver linings though, and I should be remiss to not mention them. (Though most of them are not significant enough to be true silver linings, but rather what I refer to as pewter linings.)

First, I am pleased that they retained the bout of flyting.  As the day is no longer saved by Jane, the back-and-forth between the jesters is no longer necessary for the plot, and as such, neither is the flyting. It has been one of my favorite moments all season, and I am grateful that they left it there.  Particularly when considering that they had to remove the sample performance of an out-of-house performer in order to make time for the new segment.  I think that a good decision.

At the end of the chessmatch, Puck announces  the upcoming joust through an entertaining impression of Kensington.  Even if I weren't staying through the wine-affected monarchs' end-of-game bullshit in order to experience the faerie/weather plot, I'd stay just for that impression, because it's hilarious.

Getting to see Catherine wielding a sword at Joust almost makes up for a third of the wine plot.  Despite the awfulness of what enabled that moment, the moment itself is hecking fantastic.

After the faerie wine has been dispelled, Henry has a line saying that the enchantment could not have made him behave like that unless he already had the potential to do so.  This bears out an crucial point in the series of fic I'm (still) working on about the Bavarians.  I had already decided that faeries cannot manipulate anyone – physically, mentally, or emotionally – into doing something that the person in question did not already posses the capacity to do, and though it's not exactly a plot point, or even stated directly in the fic, it's very important to me, and is sure as heck gonna be mentioned in the author's notes.  So it was rather nice for that to be confirmed as canon.

At Finale, the human queens sometimes acknowledge that there was potential for them to have looked at each other after the wine. Moreover, they also acknowledge that that course of events would have been at least slightly less awful, and do not seem averse to the notion that this hypothetical version of events would've led them to become enamored of another woman.  This acknowledgment does not make up for too much, but it does help a little.

The real silver lining, though, the closest thing the wine plot has to a saving grace, is Sir Walter.  It wasn't just a matter of his reactions to everything being entertaining, as they always are, but genuinely interesting.  This line of plot takes his role as only sane man to the next level.  He went beyond “how can I salvage this festival day” to “how can I save these four people and both their realms from war and ruin”.  It was no longer a matter of stress for him, but of the wellbeing of two nations and all those therein.  This conflict threatens more people and more peace more than any conflict he's experienced here before (that we've seen), and that change altered his actions and reactions in a very tangible way.  It was quite enjoyable to see him go from just stressing over the day to stepping up and actively trying to change the course of events, even in conflict with the orders of his rulers.  He flat-out refused to announce the joust, for one.  And even during the final battle of Joust, he kept putting himself between the queens, knowing that it would result in his ass getting kicked.  If they're teamed up hurting him, they can't hurt each other.

There's also the extremely interesting fact that half the time the faeries did any sort of magic that physically manipulated the mortals (freezing everyone, making everyone fight each other in aid of the kings), it didn't seem to have any effect on Kensington.  Now, granted, I may just be looking at the wrong places at the wrong times on this one, but if absolutely nothing else, I know he is definitely unaffected by the everybody-fight-each-other enchantment.  This is both fascinating and really cool to me, and has the potential to open up some compelling character details.  I think I may sometime compile and run through a list of the different potential explanations I've thought of for this. (I'm sure it won't be too difficult to guess my favorite possibility even without seeing what all I've come up with, but it should still be a nifty post.)

Overall though, despite these pros that would've been impossible without the wine plot, the wine plot is, to my mind, terrible.  It is not badly executed, of course.  Far from it.  It is executed brilliantly and beautifully, and truly the actors and stagecrew and sound and effects teams have my admiration no end.   But being well-executed doesn't make the writing any better.  It is poorly-written, overdone, borderline cliché in places, and did not add to or enhance my experience.  I know the writers are capable of better, and cannot for the life of me determine why they settled for something so frustratingly mediocre.

How do I know it's bad writing and not just a plot I don't like?  Because when shit started going down, I became angry at the writers, not the characters.   That is the ultimate test of quality.  If something you don't like is happening in a story and you become angered at the people within the story, then what is happening makes sense, and does not jar you from the world of the story, although you disapprove.  If something you don't like is happening in a story and you become angered at the writer(s), then what is happening does not make sense, and you are jolted out of the world of the story, remembering it to be fiction.

I hate the wine plot, and what's more, I hate that I hate it.  I wanted to love the Halloween plot in its entirety, and hating so much of it just breaks my heart.  And in total honesty, I know that certain people were eager to see my reaction to the new plot, and I expect that they're at least somewhat crestfallen that I detest a good bit of it, and that knowledge just makes me even sadder about the whole thing, and I'm angry that it fell out this way, and I'm let down, and I'm disappointed in the writers, for – not to sound like a broken record – I know them to be capable of far better than this.

[the-desolated-quill]

The Defenders - The Defenders blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Well that was dumb and pointless. And I’m not just referring to this particular episode.

Yes it’s hard to feel suitably tense and excited for the final climax when you’ve basically been bored out of your fucking skull for the past 7 episodes. I wasn’t worried about whether our heroes could defeat the Hand. I was just impatient to get to the end credits so that I could move on to something else and never have to watch this show ever again.

As I said, there’s been no satisfying buildup to this finale, so I’m not in anyway invested in what’s going on onscreen. I just sat there, pointing my face at the TV’s general direction and prayed it would be over very quickly. I don’t even understand what the threat is. They keep saying New York is going to be destroyed by the Hand, but they never say how or why. Two things that might help in creating intimidating and three dimensional villains. We never even get to see this substance they’re craving. They just stumble across a dragon skeleton (which they try to avoid saying to an almost comical degree because I think even the writers know how fucking stupid this all sounds) and then suddenly Bakuto is bulletproof now. Oh and guess what? The Black Sky. What she can do and what her purpose is. Still never explained. Perhaps Douglas Petrie and Marco Ramirez should go back to writing class to refresh their memories on how a fucking plot is supposed to work.

The episode as a whole is just utterly monotonous. The fights are dull and repetitive. Colleen and Bakuto’s fight could have been interesting if we hadn’t done it already in Iron Fist. Claire seems to have forgotten all of her martial arts training from iron Fist as we see her stand there pathetically swinging a pipe around. The scene where the Defenders fight a bunch of ninjas could have been dramatic and exciting if the ninjas posed anything resembling an actual threat. Not only do the characters bowl them over as if they’re skittles, the fight is then completely undermined by quite possibly the most inappropriate use of music I’ve ever heard. They might as well have just had the theme to the Adam West Batman TV show playing in the background.

I’m still not buying any of the Defenders so called camaraderie because there’s been so little effort to actually have them bond over the course of this season. Even the characters themselves are aware they haven’t actually bonded that much. When Daredevil tries to tell Luke and Jessica how he appreciates their help, they basically just tell him to shut up.

You know, it speaks volumes that Misty Knight (possibly my favourite character in the Luke Cage solo series who got the most growth and development in that storyline) gets her arm chopped off in this episode and I felt absolutely nothing. No shock. No gasp. Nothing. That’s how disinterested I’ve become in all of this. (Also did you know Misty and Colleen form a partnership in the comics? i didn’t. You’d think Marvel would want to take the opportunity to maybe set that up, but the two characters have barely interacted with each other over the course of this show. And people still think Marvel are meticulous planners as opposed to a bunch of clowns making this shit up as they go along, the poor saps).

I’m not going to dwell too much on this episode. It’s boring, nonsensical and I don’t care about anything that’s happening onscreen. I am however going to talk about the ending because it has got to be quite possibly the most annoying and most stupid thing in this entire season.

So the building is primed to explode and the Defenders rush off to the elevator to escape. But then Daredevil decides to stay behind. Why? Because he wants to try to convince Elektra to come back to the good side.

For fuck’s sake Matt, will you get it through your thick skull that Elektra isn’t doing this because she’s under mind control. She’s doing this because SHE’S AN EVIL PSYCHOPATH! She even blatantly admits this to him!

Matt: “You forget, i know when you’re lying.”

Wha- HOW IS SHE LYING?! When has she ever demonstrated to you that she is anything other than a selfish homicidal maniac?! What the fuck are you talking about?!

This is the strangest thing about Elektra. The writers clearly think she has some redeemable qualities, but they never actually show us any. They clearly want you to empathise with her and want to see her and Matt get together, but she’s so fundamentally unlikeable and so morally repugnant that I legitimately don’t understand how Matt could possibly find her attractive. I just can’t wrap my head around what the writers were thinking when they came up with this. It’s mind bogglingly preposterous on every level and displays a jaw dropping scale of incompetence I’ve never witnessed before.

So after spending all this time trying to kill Matt, she suddenly makes a U turn so massive you can see it from space and confesses her love for him. He does the same, and the two make out while they’re crushed under debris. I’m hoping this means we’ve finally seen the last of Elektra and the Hand and that we can finally get back to some decent writing in future Netflix shows. But of course we know Daredevil isn’t dead because Marvel announced they were doing a third season. Except the characters don’t know that, so we have to go through all the  eulogies and the tears and the mourning (they even light the Empire State Building in red as a tribute to him, which was so cringeworthy that I instinctively reached for the nearest sickbag), but of course I don’t feel a single thing because a) Daredevil’s sacrifice was monumentally stupid on every conceivable level, b) his sacrifice wasn’t a noble gesture. He just wanted a chance to get his leg over with his mass murdering girlfriend, and c) we know he’s not dead. I just sat there, twiddling my thumbs, waiting for them to get the fuck on with it and show us the oh so surprising reveal. And do you know what the worst thing about this was? This wasn’t like a 5 minute thing like in Batman V Superman. Oh no. We have to sit through 20 fucking minutes of this bullshit.

20... fucking... minutes.

In other words, The Defenders ends the same way the season began. By wasting my time.

The Defenders miniseries as a whole has been a crushing disappointment from start to finish. Whereas the first Avengers movie explored the characters and their relationships fully, and it felt like a culmination of all the previous movies’ hard work and achievements, The Defenders just feels hollow and shallow by comparison. There’s no sense of passion or artistic integrity. There’s no thrill in seeing these characters come together. It just feels like Marvel are going through the motions. There doesn’t seem to be any reason for this crossover to exist and there’s virtually no substance to it whatsoever. In fact it feels like most of this season has been comprised entirely delaying tactics and time wasting rather than actual plot or character progression, and at this point it’s become abundantly clear why. The Defenders has only the bare bones of a story. It’s not even a story. It’s a concept. So, to disguise it, they plug the gaps with scenes that give the illusion that stuff is happening, when in reality nothing is happening at all. Time that could have been spent fleshing out the characters and their relationships are instead given to reiterating origin stories that we already know or bickering about random shit. The Hand too are treated the same way. We’re told basically nothing about them, but we’re given concepts like the Black Sky, the substance and so on, which hints that there’s something interesting going on, but in reality it’s just a load of smoke and mirrors to mask the fact that the Hand are just utterly shit villains.

Basically The Defenders is a show that isn’t really there. The moment you look at it under any close scrutiny, it all crumbles and dissolves into nothing. To watch an episode of this show is like staring into the void.

The deep, dark, empty void.

[isaacathom]

its time for me to yell

ooh fuck thems robots. this looks really nice. hyping me as fuck. loving this beat. oh my god they blueballed me what the fuck was that cut. daemon x machina...... nieeat.

ooh, xenoblades. wai- wait didnt they just release that a while ago. that yellow haired lady is VERY familiar. hold on. hold on whats happening. is this a sequel or dlc. those are characters from that recent xenoblades. oh, dlc, kickass.

reggiiiieeee hello. reggie we know what a swich is. reggie. Reggie. oh lets go.... they looks ok i guess. what if i just play like, pokemon go............. ok.

reggie can we see something like, Cool. reggie pls.  PLS SHOW

im ready maybe? am i ready? i dont - mario party. yea ok. thats fair. id probably play it if i had Friends. multi switch is kickass though. i do love that. shame i have No Friends. i do have some nostalgia for mario party though??? which is weird..... because.... ok yknow what it is. its because i have nostalgia for a mario party -esque game from my primary school computers. smth to do with dungeons and dragons. the volcano exploded.

seros???? SEROS???? am i being fucking called out. fire emblem?????? THREE HOUSES??? OH NO???? DONT FUCK ME AGAIN LIKE THIS.  DO NOT FUCK ME AGAIN LIKE WE DID WITH FATES.

Oh it looks fucking great though........ oh it looks fantastic. like it looks really good. the interactivity with filler units gives me uhhh dynasty warriors vibes, but in a good way.

ok so is three houses its NAME??? or was tat like, a Thing..... i hope its just the name and its a single ver game. not a fan of the split game thing.

idgaf about fortnite. i hope they all have fun. today? nice. thats fun.

hi reggie. reggie no. 10am is, what, 2 hours? 1 hour? i cant math, its 2am, be nice.

oh overcooked 2, cute. im into nindies. killer queen black? oh multiplayer stuff. lads. Lads im begging you. im shit at games. i HOLLOW KNIGHT FOR SWIIIITCH. kickass. i like that. i mean im shit at hollow knight but i Like That.  today??? today??????? TODAYYYYYYY!!!!! FUCK. FUCK ME. I WANT IT. YOU WHORES.

octopathhhhh. ooh, new demo. thats nice. i like those devs committment to iteration and improvement.

sizzle real, i see. its bouncing off me lads. i saw a minecraft rip off tho. paladins now? neat. i cant read 90% of these logos. oh thats twewy. i know that.

shinya- whomst are you. are you the new guy or am i getting confused. i dont.... think he was the new president.... no, wrong guy, ok.

SMASH NOW???? ALREADY?????? SO SOON?????? I THOUGHT ITD BE THE END GAME

nice cop out, sir. oh this is cute. show me! show me sir! shiny mario. kirby boy...... beautiful boy..... botw link, love him, pls. hi marth.  ALBW ZELDA!!!!!!!! ALBW ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!! A LINK BETWEEN FUCKING WORLDS ZELDA. IM BLESSED. NITNENDO! NINTENDO!!!!!!! NINTENDO IM SO GAY FOR ALBW ZELDA IM BLESSED. OH I LOVE HER. ILL STAY ON THAT POINT BECAUSE I ADORE ALBW ZELDA SO FUCKING MUCH IT HURTS.  I LOVE HER. SAKURAI YOU HAVE BLESSED ME THIS DAY. THANK YOU SIR. I AM BLESSED. I LOVE HER SO MUCH. i am confused that you didnt use botw one? not sure why. but i wont complain. i fucking adore albw zelda. i love her SO FUCKING MUCH. YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY GIRLFRIEND!!!! IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘infinity war is the most amibitious crossover of all time’ nintendo: *cracks knuckles*

NEW???? oh. oh we’re going in depth? CAPPY. WEDDING OUTFIT. WHERES THE DRESS YOU COWARD. LET MARIO WHERE HIS DRESS. OH THE DETAILS.  FEMALE PIKACHU. I LOVE HER. I LOVE THIS. HHH. YES. midair charge? kick. heyy yuri lowenthal in my smash games. snake?? snake! snaaaake! im being pummeled but im loving it. pichu!!!! ZELDA!!!!!!! ZELDA. ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ADORE MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!! im gay for zelda so bad

LEAF!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAF LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER! SHES HERE!!! she was removed from let’s go in favour of ???? but here she is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

do they wanna remind us advent children exists. three whole links..... my god.. MY BOY! KIRBY MY SON!!! hahahhh dev joke. oh streamline monado, kickass. oooh ganon mm. 12 whole voices..... oh yea pit. man this is hype as fuck. i love the DETAILS. I LOVE THE DETAILS!!! SO NICE!!!

this is delightful but i Will not sleep tonight. oh jeff...... wii fit is still here....... but i love her so its fine. oh this is SO MUCH. THEY KEEP GOING. IM NOT MAD IM JUST IN AWE. THEY DROWN ME IN THIS CONTENT. THEY REALLY WANT ME TO BUY THIS

BRAND NEW?????? DAISY!!!!!!!!!!!! DAISY!!!!! MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY FUCKING WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING ADORE DAISY! YOU FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!! MY WIFE IS HERE!!!!!!!!IM IN LOVE. IM DESPERATE

NEW!!!!!! Oh. i was excited for a sec but yea, inkling. i do love her. pls tell me she can have the splat 2 look too, i love that look... splat 2 inkiins? no? ih ok. 

SQUID SISTERS! MWAH!

holy shit it keeps going. they cant have time for animal crossing........... how can we have time. NINTENDOGS ASSIST TROPHY. NINTENDO DOGS.  oh delightful. oh this is content lads. oh my god i fucking Nut everytime i see zelda, oh my god...... yall dont understand......... how much i love her.............. my girlfriend. SPIRIT TRAIN!!!!!!! SPIRIT TRAIN!!!!! THEYVE ACKNOLWEGDED SPIRIT TRACKS. IM DYING. LADS. NITNENDO IS DIRECTLY CALLING ME OUT. THESE FUCKERS KNOW I LOVE ALBW AND SPIRIT TRACKS AND TEYVE GIVEN ME BOTH. LADS IM BEING CALLED OUT.

oh fuck me i need a fucking switch dont i.

oh my god it never ends..... my hips killing me. nintendo i came here for animal crossing. 

is that a camecube controller. IT IS. WHY. BUT WHY. I KNOW HATS COOL BUT WHY.

BEFORE WE GO. SORA FOR SWITCH????

come on..... give it to me..... im ready sakurai........ im ready...... im prepared. im open....... im o- uh? huh? is this star wars? oH MY GOD. oh damn. so ridley, ok. fucking nice. i dont like, feel anything about ridley, but fucking Nice. OH MAN. THERE HE IS. THERES THE BOY. OH MY GOD. A MADMAN. THE POWER.

just 4 fighters from the sex number nintendo, you can Do it. i know you wont but jsut Imagine that shit. just think about it.

anyway 2 mins left, yall fuckers got like, animal crossing. december 7th, nice. into it.

IS THAT IT??????????? WAS THAT IT???????? DAMMIT!!!!!! ANIMAL CROSSING???? doesnt exist.................. my depression.............

anyway i love zelda im fuckin deceased.......... i love her so much............................................... im deceased................ she slew me............ hhh

ok i need to sleep its fucking nearly 3am adios bitches <3

[blog-tremendousblizzardbouq-blog]

Day Twenty-four

I don’t even know why I bother anymore. I just want you gone. You’re a piece of abusive shit. There, I said it. I never, EVER thought I would. But here I am. YOU ARE AN ABUSIVE PIECE OF SHIT. I’m glad I hurt you. Although I didn’t cheat on you, I’m glad you’re destroyed. You deserve to be destroyed after you legitimately cheated on me. No one likes you. Literally, all your friends hate you. Even Cory. Beloved Cory. He no longer has any respect for you because of what you did. I wish you knew that.

I read a lot of my book today, which was nice. I finished my analysis within like a half hour, too. It wasn’t bad, I just didn’t really have much motivation to write it. I kind of hope that they get a lower grade after reading my analysis, because they fucked up fundamental facts. I played a lot of video games today. I played some Hollow Knight, but it’s too hard so I gave up really quickly. Then I played some Cuphead, but I wasn’t having much fun because that’s a game we would play together. Then I finally played some Crash, and I got to new levels that I’ve never played before. That was really exciting. Although, I reached a really annoying level and I kept dying, so I gave up on that too. We were supposed to get a Christmas tree today, but of course the abusive piece of shit was being a piece of shit. I felt bad for his mom, she really wanted to do it this weekend. He says he has a lot of work to do, but he hasn’t done shit. Not really much of a surprise there. Once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit. I figured out his new passcode on his phone. I don’t even care, I just want him to think that he’s all smart and thinks that I don’t know, but motherfucker, I fucking know. I fucking hate you. I can’t wait until you leave and I never have to speak to you, look at you, or touch you ever again. They say that it takes seven years for all the cells in the body to die and reform, essentially being a different person. I CANNOT wait to be the person that never has your touch ever again. I’ll be making a new count once that day comes.

[heart-of-vecna]

RULES: Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your questions, as well as the person who tagged you.

I got tagged by two people to do this so imma put it under a read more yes.

I am also not making Q’s or tagging anyone so HAH

Thanks @superliet​ and @arcee-l-grim​

From Liet:

1. What’s your ultimate comfort food?

Grilled cheese, tomato soup and a can of 7-Up lmao OTL my food of choice when i’m sick too. Idk why I don’t hate it yet for that reason.

2. If you were able to keep any kind of pet and somehow had access to everything that would allow you to properly take care of it, what would you get?

A BEARDED VULTURE MAN. THINGS ARE SICK NASTY I WANT A BONE EATING VULTURE THAT LOOKS LIKE SOME SORT OF FANTASY ANIMAL.

3. If you had the chance to take a trip to any country for a year, where would you go?

Costa Rica I think. I loved that place last time I went, and i’d love to spend more time there.

4. What’s your favorite artistic style when it comes to video games? (For example “retro” pixel games like Shovel Knight or realistic graphics like FFIX)

I’m a sucker for stylized and dark. But that’s like. A stretch between Path of Exile, Darkest Dungeon and Hollow Knight so-

5. You win a million dollars in the lottery. What would you spend it on?

I save it but I will buy a new oven because oURS SUCKS. 

6. What would your dream job be?

Public education in a nice national park like the Olympics, maybe with birds.

7. Do you wear glasses or contacts? If you don’t, SHOULD you but you just don’t want to?

I should be wearing glasses but fuck that. It used to be fine but in the last year my eyesight has dropped really bad but OH WELL-

8. Are there any fandoms you’re neck deep in right now? If not, list a few things you like, like video games, movies, shows, etc.

Oh boy uh. Pokemon, D&D, Hollow Knight...

9. Do you take showers in the morning or the evening?

Depends on my mood, my schedule, and the weather. And Jojo

10. Have you or do you have any people in your life that you feel have changed you as a person in a positive way?

Yes uAu Ya’ll friends still with me are a wonderful force in my life that has kept me on track after all of that.

11. Do you have a habit of talking to inanimate objects?

As much as I talk to normal people whoops. 

From Kenny:

1. What types of blogs do you follow on tumblr? (art, writing, general, shitpost etc.)

Mostly friends, a handful of art blogs, and a bunch of animal blogs.

2. Which video game would you like to live in? If it’s hard to pick just one, you can list your top three.

Pokemon. Most other games I like would probably suck to live in honestly like- I’ll.... pass... 

3. What type of music do you listen to?

Literally everything but country and american folk 8Y

4. If you play video games, what types of games do you usually play/enjoy playing the most?

I like my western rpgs and anything that lets me explore. I will spend hours wandering aimlessly man. You know how many hours I can sink into like. Skyrim, Minecraft or Don’t Starve????? So fucking many.

5. If you were a super hero what would be your name, power, and catchphrase?

I wouldn't give myself a name or a catchphrase out of embarrassment and being too self conscious but I would probably be able to light myself on fire real good. 

6. Do you have any OC’s? If so, name one and briefly describe them.

OH MAN DO I I HAVE SO MANY. How about Val. Val, the wonderful ex-lich who can throw great swords and shoots lasers, who dotes after her archmage boyfriend and his tiny horribly destructive daughter. Val who has the maturity of a 12 year old despite being 400 and is really bad about that whole friend thing.

7. You’ve been invited to attend a fancy party, but the catch is you have to make a dramatic entrance, no limitations, go!

The dramatic entrance is that I don’t show up and the whole party stays in anticipation limbo for when I finally enter.

8. Can you art?

No

9.  Seen any movies lately?

In theater? No. In general? The last movie I watched was the Iron Giant. Movie still makes me cry.

10. Any coming out that you are excited for?

No actually :<

11. What are frogs?

ME. I AM FROG.