#also sorry I changed the pov a little bit but it just works really well

[chahnniesroom]

hoju (home)

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: even though chan has been living in korea for so many years, he still considers australia to be home. when he finally has the opportunity to go back and visit, he can't wait to bring you along and introduce you to the people and places that he grew up with.

word count: 4.3k

warnings: none :)

a/n: hoju (호주) is the korean word for australia.

this was a request from my sweet 🦦 anon! thank you for the inspiration, i had fun writing this and i hope that it meets your expectations. sorry that i did not write this in chan's pov 😅 as usual, please let me know if there are any typos or mistakes because i didn't have the chance to proofread 🥲

read it on ao3 | masterlist

Chan has been acting strange lately. Not enough that you're worried, just a little bit suspicious. He's never tried to hide what tabs he has open on his phone before and he's looked deep in thought quite a few times, but when you ask what he's thinking of, he changes the topic quickly. You're curious, but trust that Chan will talk to you when he's ready. Still, you can't quite ignore all of the changes in behaviour.

It's the same tonight. When you look up during dinner, Chan's just stirring around the noodles in his plate, only taking a bite every so often. You frown, trying to think of if you've done anything differently to prepare the food in a way that he doesn't like, but it tastes the same to you as usual. You rule out a lack of appetite, as he had just commented that he was starving while you were cooking.

“Is everything okay?” you ask hesitantly, after a few more minutes have passed.

“What?” Chan looks up, startled by the sound of your voice. “Oh no, everything's fine! Just… thinking.”

“Is it about work? Did something happen?” You know that Chan has been busier than usual this month, the boys have some time off in a few weeks and everybody is scrambling to get things finished in the meantime. You've also requested vacation at work, although so far you and Chan haven't planned anything. In fact, he's been a little bit cagey when you've brought up the topic. You try not to think much of it and really, it's just nice to be able to spend extra time together.

Honestly, you wouldn't be surprised if Chan has found out that his break has been cut short or even cancelled. It's rare that they’re able to have more than a few days off at a time which is why you had been so shocked when Chan had let you know that they didn't have schedules for a period of almost three weeks.

It would provide an explanation to everything that you've observed the past few days, you know that he would try his best to fix things before he had to tell you the bad news.

“Well-”

“It's okay if you found out you can't take time off,” you reassure him. “I understand that it's all up to the company and sometimes they change their mind at the last minute. I can just let my work know and take my vacation another time, I'm sure they might even be happy if I'm still around next month.”

“No!” Chan says, his eyes wide in panic. “We still have time off! Don't worry about that. It's actually- How would you feel about visiting Australia with me?”

It's your turn to stare at Chan in shock.

“Australia?”

“Yeah, it's been a while since I went back and-” Chan breaks eye contact, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I thought it'd be nice if I could introduce you to my family, in person.”

“You want me to meet your family? In Australia?” you repeat, dumbly.

“Only if you feel comfortable!” Chan says hurriedly. “I looked into tickets, but didn't book anything yet so it's totally up to you. I also wanted to check if my family was available beforehand and it's pretty good timing actually. If you don't want to, then it's totally fine, I'll probably go for either way and I think Felix is also considering it. It's just that we've been together for a while now and I've met your family and I know that my mom basically considers you to be her daughter-”

“I want to go,” you interrupt, not wanting Chan to spiral further. “I was just surprised, I guess, but of course I want to accompany you.”

Chan brightens at that, then grabs his computer, unlocking it and opening up a spreadsheet. As it loads, he reaches for his chopsticks and takes a huge bite of food. You can't help but smile fondly at the sight of his cheeks bulging with food as he chews, relieved that his appetite is back.

“I didn’t want to get too far ahead of myself, but I was looking at flights, and I think that if we leave on a Tuesday, it might be best. It means we can enjoy the weekend here and still have time to pack everything,” he explains excitedly. “It'll be less busy at the airport too, which will be nice, and it works out well with my parents’ schedules anyway.”

You hum in acknowledgement, content to follow along and take mental notes as Chan reads out everything else that he's thought of so far. He continues planning for the rest of the evening, trailing behind you as you clean up and do your nightly routine, only stopping to help you when you do the dishes and put away the laundry. It's cute how animated he becomes, putting together a long list of all the sites and restaurants that he wants to show you.

You can tell that he's still thinking of it as the two of you curl up in bed that night, every so often you feel him jolt behind you and turn to reach for the little pad of paper and pencil that he often keeps on his nightstand.

Eventually, you turn over and squint at him. He doesn't even pretend to be asleep.

“Hi,” he whispers. “Sorry if I'm keeping you awake.”

“Sleep,” you murmur tiredly. “We have lots of time to plan, get some rest for now and we can talk more tomorrow.”

Chan starts to protest, but you just nuzzle closer, pulling his hands to wrap around you. As you drift off to sleep, you can feel that Chan has finally relaxed too.

—

The two of you spend the first day of break slowly, sleeping in and having a lazy meal of bibimbap from all the banchan taking up space in your fridge. You only venture out of the apartment for dinner, going to your favourite local restaurant that you visit so often that the owner starts making your meals the second that the two of you step through the door. The next couple of days are also easygoing, consisting of shopping, watching dramas, and eventually preparing for your trip.

Throughout the drive to the airport and making your way through security and to your gate, you can tell Chan's a bit on edge even though you and Felix try to assure him that everything will be fine. The three of you are in incognito mode, wearing hats, face masks, and plain clothes but Chan’s still scanning your surroundings the whole time. You, on the other hand, can't help but be excited, bouncing at his side so much that he loops his arm over your shoulders to try and calm you down. Felix is more relaxed and laughs at the stark contrast between the both of you, even filming parts of it since he’s getting footage for a vlog. Luckily you know that any content with you in it is likely to be edited out and don’t bother to hide your eagerness.

While Chan is used to travelling often for concerts and other overseas schedules, you've rarely visited places outside of Korea and have certainly never flown business class. You squeeze Chan's hand when you see your seats, thrilled at the idea of having so much leg room and a divider between the two of you that can also be fully lowered. It keeps you entertained for the whole time before the plane takes off, taking pictures together and reclining your seat up and down until the seatbelt sign turns on.

The flight is over 10 hours, so it doesn't take long before you move your attention to browsing the menu that's available and scrolling through all of the movies on the in-flight entertainment system. Shortly after the dinner meal is served, you start to doze off. Wanting to make the most of the experience, you insist to Chan that you'll be able to stay awake to watch another movie with him, but only make it through the first 30 minutes before you wake up to a dark screen.

You blink up blearily as a flight attendant starts making their way through the aisles, handing out customs forms for everyone to fill out. When you receive yours, you stare at it for a few seconds before realising the problem is not the fact that you're still adjusting to being awake.

“Oh no,” you whisper in horror, causing Chan to glance over at you, concerned.

“What happened?” he asks.

“I didn’t think about practising English before this trip,” you reply, distress leaking into your voice. “The last time that I wrote anything in English was when I was in secondary school… I'm not going to survive in Australia!”

“Hey, it's not an issue, I'll be with you the whole time! You don't have to worry about any of that. And you know enough conversational English to get by, I know you do,” Chan says soothingly.

You refuse to be comforted, burying your face into your hands.

“How am I going to face your parents when I barely know anything other than ‘hi, how are you?’” you moan. “I'm not even going to make it through customs! They're going to arrest me when I can't answer any of their questions!”

You know that you're exaggerating, but it makes Chan laugh so hard that tears gather in the corners of his eyes. You try to keep up your act, but end up dissolving into laughter too at the way that Chan is trying so hard to stay quiet, not wanting to bring attention to you two.

Contrary to your fears, you manage to deplane, get through customs, and collect your luggage without any major issues. You had a moment of anxiety when Chan and Felix split up from you since you have to go into the lineup for foreign passports, but you are somehow able to fumble your way through the conversation with the border officer without being detained.

Felix splits up with you shortly after, you see that his tiredness from the long flight melts away the second that he sees his family. He gives you and Chan both a quick hug to say goodbye before running out to meet them.

Chan lights up in a similar way when he finally spots his parents. They're waiting in the pick-up zone and waves the two of you over quickly. You barely get the chance to say hi before Chan’s mother is enveloping you into a hug.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” she says warmly. “Come on, let’s take you home.”

The drive is fairly short and it feels like no time at all before you’re approaching the house. The second that the front door opens, you hear a distinctive scrabble of claws against hardwood before Berry shoots towards Chan, tail wagging furiously. Chan immediately kneels down to give her better access, laughing when she stands on her hind legs to lick at his face.

Once she’s finished with that, she turns to you, barking curiously before moving closer. You stick out a hand for her to get an idea of your scent and try not to jump when you feel the cool, damp press of her nose against your palm. Whatever Berry smells, she approves of, giving you a few quick licks before running back to Chan.

“She’s so cute!” you exclaim, pulling out your phone so that you can take a picture of the reunion. You don't think that Chan even hears you, caught up in talking to Berry, giving her kisses and allowing her to do the same.

“I'll help you with your bags,” Chan's father says from beside you, easily lifting them out of your hands and motioning for you to enter the house. You exchange greetings with both of Chan's siblings as you remove your shoes, familiar with them through video calls and the one time that you met Hannah when she was travelling in Korea.

Chan’s family recently moved so this was also Chan’s first time seeing the house in person, the two of you trailing behind Chan’s father as he gave you a brief tour of the first floor before leading you upstairs. When you get to the guest room that you'll be staying in, Hannah pops her head in.

“Chris doesn’t spend enough time in Australia to have his own room in this house, so you guys are in this room.” She eyes you for a moment and based on the mischievous smile that’s growing, you can guess what she’s about to say. “Y/n, if you get sick of him, then feel free to stay with me instead!”

“Hey!” Chan complains, not even looking up from where he’s unpacking his bag. He grabs onto one of his shirts and chucks it at Hannah, but she easily dodges, throwing one of her slippers at him in retaliation. It hits Chan right in the chest and he looks at her in disbelief. He abandons his task in favour of chasing her throughout the house. You don't follow after, but you hear as their yelling and laughter echoes through the halls.

It’s refreshing to see Chan at home, no matter how comfortable Chan is with the rest of the kids, he’s still the leader of the group and the oldest member and the dynamic of their relationship reflects that. Even though it has barely been a few hours, you’re relieved to find that Chan has left behind the stresses of being an idol and can instead just be a son and an older brother.

His parents are hilarious and kind, it’s easy to see how Chan’s personality is a reflection of the environment that he was raised in. During dinner, you laugh at the way Chan pouts dramatically when Chan’s father pretends to forget about Chan when serving the food and how he groans in pleasure when he finally gets to taste his mother's cooking after so long. Hannah and Lucas continually crack jokes as you eat, especially if they're at Chan's expense and he pretends that he doesn't find them funny.

—

One afternoon you find Chan fiddling with the camera that he’s brought with him. You step up behind him, resting your chin on his shoulder and wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Are you planning on filming tonight?” you ask, knowing that Chan was always careful to alert everyone in the house beforehand.

“Not today,” he replies. “Probably tomorrow, when I take out Berry for her morning walk. Did you want to join?”

“Of course!”

“I was thinking of going right after breakfast, before it gets too hot out,” he says as he pulls out the camera battery and fits it into the charger.

“Anywhere in particular you wanted to go?”

“Mmm, maybe by the water? There's a path that's not too far away. I don't want anything that's too close to the house, you know?”

“Good idea.”

“Are you planning on putting it into a vlog?” you ask curiously. "You haven't been filming much.”

"Actually…”

“What? You're making me nervous.”

“I was hoping to use it for a music video,” Chan says sheepishly.

“What?! I'm not qualified for that!! I can't- you need to find someone else-”

“No no, it's going to be fine! It's for a record, not like, an actual music video.”

“I don't know,” you say, still feeling hesitant.

“I promise, I'm going for the casual vibes and it's either you or like, my eomma, and I guarantee that you would do a better job.”

“Okay,” you say reluctantly. “But I can't guarantee it'll come out well.”

“Thank you! I know it'll be great,” Chan says, showering you with kisses in gratitude until you're squirming away.

—

The next morning, Chan’s parents are out, leaving all the kids to prepare food on their own. It's a little chaotic, but you manage to cobble together a decent meal. It's a lot of fun to see how Chan and his siblings interact without their parents around to mediate. You're amazed by how similar the three are, not only in appearance but also the way they behave.

Although much younger, Lucas shares a strong resemblance to Chan, especially once he smiles and shows off matching dimples. They quickly disappear once Chan reaches out and musses up his hair playfully as you’re all cleaning up.

“Chris, stop it,” he complains, pushing his older brother away before trying to fix the strands that are all over the place. It only encourages Chan to move closer, wrapping his arms around his brother and lifting him into the air. When trying to wiggle free doesn’t work, he turns pleading eyes to you, knowing Hannah wouldn't step in to help. “Noona! Get him to let me down!”

The two of you had been awkward the first time you had been left alone, it hadn’t helped that Lucas’ Korean could be considered conversational at best and your English was significantly worse, but you had quickly grown close through attempts to tease Chan. Now, it’s easy to treat him like the little brother you never had.

You approach quickly, trying to avoid Lucas’ flailing limbs, and reach out to poke at Chan’s waist. He twitches away from your touch and when you persist in prodding at all his ticklish spots, unwinds one of his arms to swat at your hand.

The distraction is enough for Lucas to break away and he quickly moves out of reach. Instead of chasing after him, Chan turns his focus to you. You back away nervously, but find yourself with nowhere to go. Chan grabs you and easily slings you over your shoulder, ignoring your shrieks of protest.

“Betrayed by my own girlfriend? I should have known that introducing you to my siblings would just be asking for trouble,” he growls in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“Hey! Where are you taking me?” You look to see if his siblings are going to rescue you, but they must be trying to avoid Chan's wrath as you don't see either of them as Chan brings you up to the guest room.

“I am enlisting your help,” he says casually, as if he wasn't carrying you up a flight of stairs and dropping you on the bed. “I would like your advice on what to wear for Berry's walk.”

“Ooh,” you say. “Very important business then, I'm honoured that you would ask me.”

It doesn't actually take much time to get ready, the two of you change into clothes for the heat and you just have to convince Chan that he doesn't have to try to do his hair or makeup. The second that you mention to Berry that you're going for a walk, her tail starts wagging non-stop and she even fetches her leash and drops it in front of you.

Chan doesn't give you much direction for filming, just hands you the camera and tells you to capture whatever you want. The two of you walk hand in hand through the neighbourhood, Berry happily exploring the area. As you get further away from the house, you let go of Chan, motioning for him to continue walking as you turn on the camera and get used to it.

By the time you've reached the waterfront, you're feeling more confident and have a better idea of what you like. You try out different angles, feeling a little bit like paparazzi, and after a few minutes, even try directing Chan too. You let him keep going, wanting to see how far away he'll go before he realises that you're not following. He's almost a block away before he turns back.

“You’re smiling, did it come out okay?” Chan asks as he jogs back towards you.

“Yeah, it was great! I was just thinking that Stay are going to go crazy over this,” you tell him.

“They do really like it whenever they get to see Berry,” he says thoughtfully, picking her up and scratching her head. You burst out laughing at that and Chan frowns in response and goes as far as to cover Berry’s ears, insulted on her behalf. “What? Don’t laugh at that, it’s true! Berry is just so cute.”

“I’m not saying that they don’t like Berry, of course they do. I was more referring to the fact that the video is… domestic. Very boyfriend.”

“Ooh you think that's what Stay are interested in?” he asks. “What about this?”

He gestures for you to lift up the camera, and once you're recording, grabs your hand to pull you along behind him. You let out a small noise of surprise as he tugs on your arm, struggling slightly to keep everything steady and ensure your hand is out of frame. At your sound, Chan looks back slightly and bursts into laughter.

“So concentrated, you’re so cute,” he giggles.

“Of course,” you grumble. “I want it to turn out nice.”

“Thank you,” Chan says sincerely, no traces of laughter in his voice. “I really do appreciate it a lot that you're helping me with work even though we're on vacation.”

“Hmm,” you say, turning away from him. “You're just glad that you didn't have to ask Hannah, because she would make fun of you the whole time.”

“That's not true! I mean, it is true that Hannah would do that, but that's not the only reason.” Chan uses your connected hands and pulls you close. “I also wanted to spend time with my favourite person in the whole world.”

“You're lucky I love you so much,” you sniff, still pretending to be annoyed even though you've practically melted into Chan's hug. “Now stop getting distracted, I thought it would look nice if you walked along the sand and there's nobody there right now.”

—

The rest of your time in Sydney is a whirlwind of activities. Chan is determined to take you to all his favourite places in the city and you eat more food than you thought possible. Chan’s family, and sometimes Felix and his family, accompanies you two for a majority of the outings and your initial hesitance interacting with them is replaced by fondness, eased by the way that they treat you like one of their own.

You even have a chance to meet some of Chan’s childhood friends, ones that he kept close with despite the long distance. It feels strange to eat dinner with them. Although they do their best to make you feel welcome, they have a lot of history together and you find yourself struggling to keep up with their conversation, not just because of the language barrier but due to references to people, places, and events that you're unfamiliar with. Regardless, you're glad to finally know the people that Chan grew up with and you love seeing how happy Chan is to be reunited with them.

It’s also nice that while you're meeting so many people, you don't have to hide your relationship at all. In Korea, you and Chan are more careful in public. It’s not totally a secret that you’re dating, but you are more on the cautious side due to the popularity of Stray Kids and inevitable scrutiny from fans. In Australia, Chan has no such reservations, excitedly introducing you as his girlfriend to everyone. It never fails to make you blush, feeling shy, but secretly pleased.

Wherever you go, Chan keeps you close to his side, linking your hands or looping an arm around your shoulders. Throughout the day, he presses kisses to your head or cheek. The first time he does it, you look up at him questioningly. He just shrugs, saying that he’s happy and well, you can’t argue with that.

You don’t want your vacation to end and you know you're not the only one. You and Chan have both procrastinated packing your luggage until the last possible moment, and when you finally do begin, Berry seems to sense it. She starts hiding all of your things- Chan's family members finding them lodged in one of the couch cushions or in her dog bed- and curling up inside your suitcase, making it practically impossible to continue packing.

When Chan enters your shared room and pauses when he sees you staring into the suitcase helplessly. You wave him over so that he can look inside.

“She’s too cute! Look at that little face, how could you disturb her?” you ask.

Chan has no such reservations. He reaches in and gently lifts Berry out, cradling her against his chest so that she can’t jump back in.

“Berry, do you want to come to Korea with us?” he asks patiently. When she licks at his face in reply, he groans and pretends to lower her back into the suitcase. “Ah, I guess we have no choice but to bring you! I think we can sneak you in with the rest of the souvenirs that we’re taking with us.”

Despite Chan’s promises, Berry ends up staying behind, not even joining you on the drive to the airport. You’re lucky that you decide to leave well before your flight is expected to depart as you end up taking almost half an hour saying goodbye to everybody.

You know that you’re going to treasure these memories for a long time and you’re certain that Chan will too. It’s amazing that even though you were only in Australia for a couple weeks, it already feels like a second home.

read it on ao3 | masterlist

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Be still, my foolish heart.

Pairing/Au: Soft single dad!Joel Miller x Curvy f!reader, no outbreak

Words count: 8816 (I know, I’m sorry 💀)

Rating: +18, MDNI, NSFW

Summary: A meet cute at the clinic where you work leads to finding the best date you could ask for… our one and only Joel Miller.

Warnings: pov second person, no use of y/n, meet cute, a little bit of a slow burn, reader is curvy, has breasts and vagina and wears a dress, apart from that no other specific description is given, age gap (reader is 35, Joel is 46), Joel is a single dad and he is soft (what can I say, I’m a sucker for a soft Joel okay), reader doesn’t trust Joel immediately and she thinks he might be dangerous (he’s not, he’s cutest), Sarah is alive and well and she’s mentioned multiple times, mention of Tommy, Joel is a contractor, unprotected p in v (wrap it up IRL, folks!), pussy pronouns, mention of use of oral contraceptives (reader is on the pill), fingering (f receiving), oral (m and f receiving), dirty talks, elderly people being fragile and sick, slight mention of Joel’s prescriptions including antidepressant (game Joel took it so I put it in there), I know that prescribing medicine doesn't exactly work like that in America (not even in Italy for that matter) but allow me a poetic license (😂), reader has insecurities about her body, mention of bullying and previous toxic relationships that reader has been subjected to, internal reader’s voice inserts, pet names (pretty lady, good girl, honey, sunshine, baby, babe, angel), squirting (not specifically mentioned but still), Joel is feral and reader too.

I don't think I forgot anything but if I notice it I'll add it right away.

I made a mood board for the first time in my life, I know it's not great but I tried 💀 English is not my first language so please be gentle (I also have Covid at the moment… yeah, it’s 2024 and I caught it for the third time, lucky me), I hope there aren't too many mistakes, no beta so it's all my fault LOL, no proofreading. Title is an Hozier quote. Of course, because I love this man.

Oh sh*t, here’s what I was forgetting: the mirror scene is inspired by Polin (yep, it was a great scene ❤️) but I think I personalized and changed it enough to make it just Joel and reader's, at least I hope.

(Reader works in a clinic because I do this job so yes, she has this thing in common with me besides being curvy. Every time I write a curvy reader is so personal to me)

I might write something else about these two if you like, I really love this pairing and I hope I’m not the only one, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated! Thanks to anyone who will read this 💐

Archive tags : @pedrostories

You are at your desk, absorbed in an email you are writing to a patient who is asking for prescriptions for medicines. The clinic is empty and quiet and this doesn’t happen often so you’re trying to keep up with emails and messages and phone calls that you have received in the last hour.

Suddenly the door opens and a man enters the clinic, at first you don't even look at him, you just say "Good morning" and continue typing.

He clears his throat and says “good morning” and stops in front of you, on the other side of the desk. He’s clearly waiting for you to shift your attention to him so you turn and look at him. For a moment you’re speechless. He’s a gorgeous man.

Tall and broad, dark hair slightly streaked with silver, strong aquiline nose, beard and mustache framing a pair of plump lips, perfectly designed jawline and neck.

Stunning.

You didn’t expect anyone like this ‘cause really, the doctor you work for has hundreds of elderly patients or families with children and you have never been interested in married men, you don’t even look at them but anyway, you never saw a single person that was attractive to you in this place before.

You smile politely as you ask “do you need anything?” and you want to sink into your seat because you don't even have makeup on and you're wearing the first things you found in the closet this morning. An old pair of jeans and a black top.

“Yes please, I need some prescriptions. I just changed doctor because my previous one is now retired. I always sent an email to his secretary but this is the first time I've asked for my prescriptions here so I thought I'd stop by in person especially since I was in the area. I’m working in the building next door”

Bingo.

That’s why you never saw him.

You quickly look at his hand on the desk for a ring and it’s not there.

His hands are gorgeous though, big strong working and experienced hands.

“Sure, can you tell me your name please?” you ask trying to keep your tone professional while being excited to know more about him.

“Joel Miller” he says and you find the way his tongue rolls up to pronounce the r at the end so delicious it’s almost embarrassing.

For a moment you're almost afraid he might hear your thoughts.

You turn back to the computer typing in his name and a moment later his medical records appear.

46 years old, born in late September, he lives in Austin. You look at his prescriptions and notice a reflux medication, another for high blood pressure, and an antidepressant.

Oh.

What happened to him?

“Well, Mister Miller, what do you need today?”

“You don’t have to call me Mister Miller, even if you’re younger than me I think?”

You look down in bewilderment, not expecting much familiarity from him since it’s the first time you’ve seen him but you answer anyway “Yes, actually. I’m 35”

“So you can call me Joel” he says with a smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth and hopeful eyes of someone who asks not to make him feel old.

“Of course I can” you hurry to answer “So… Joel, what do you need today?”

He gives you a grateful look and replies, “I don’t remember what it’s called but… my medicine for high blood pressure.”

“Oh yes, this one” you nod and proceed to prepare it, “just a moment, Mr Miller… uhm I meant Joel, I need to get the doctor to sign it,” you tell him as the printer gurgles, spitting out the prescription paper.

You stand up from your chair, feeling your legs a little unsteady, and once you’re in front of him his height impresses you even more. He’s imposing, you’re a curvy girl and yet you feel so tiny in front of him.

You notice that he looks you up and down and seems pleased, his eyes reflecting an approval that makes you very satisfied.

You move quickly to the doctor's office, enter apologizing and have him sign the prescription. When you leave you find him standing in front of your desk waiting, he looks at you again and you notice a certain sparkle in his eyes.

"Here you go" you say and hand him the prescription.

You feel his fingers lightly brush yours and a shiver of pleasure runs down your spine.

“Thank you,” he smiles at you, “you are very kind.”

“No problem, have a good day,” and you approach the desk to sit down again. You see him hesitate for a moment, as if he wanted to add something.

“Do you need anything else?” You ask curiously and a part of you really hopes that he will ask you for your phone number or if you want to go get a drink after work.

“Oh no, no thanks, see you next time”

His gaze drops to the floor as he says this, as if he's embarrassed, which you like because it feels like you're not the only one in the room who's been pleasantly shaken up by this encounter.

He puts his hand on the door handle and turns once more, smiling shyly.

You smile back feeling a sense of tenderness so premature that you wonder if you're losing your mind.

You go back to work but all you think about is him, you want to know more.

You enter his name again in the search bar and reopen his folder. Joel Miller. You wonder who he really is and what he does but apart from his pathologies and his date of birth you don't find much else about him. His address is there but you certainly won't use it for unorthodox purposes such as accidentally ending up in his neighborhood, you would pass for a stalker as well as a very unprofessional secretary.

Nothing stops you from noticing that he lives in a very quiet residential neighborhood though.

Will he be married? There are men who do not wear a wedding ring so it might not be safe to rely only on the fact of not having seen it.

You hesitate a bit before doing so because you already feel awkward enough for someone you've only seen once but in the end you type his address in the search bar to see if other people who live with him in the same house appear, usually families tend to have the same doctor for convenience.

You hold your breath as you stare at the white screen waiting and after a few seconds a result appears.

Sarah Miller.

“There I knew it, he’s married” you think, huffing and shrugging, but then you look better and realize that this Sarah is 14 years old. “So… he has a daughter”

No one else showed up in the results so you assume he is not married but he may have been and then got divorced. Unless his wife chose another doctor but that seems very strange to you.

You contemplate trying to Google his name but then decide it's best to wait until you get home, you can't use the work computer for personal stuff.

You sigh and go back to your work, completing your search just a second before the doctor comes out and asks you if you have any urgent messages.

Today everything is strangely quiet though, even if you wasted time looking for information on Joel you finish all the work, not without thinking about him at least once an hour. You feel silly, you shouldn’t have any kind of thought about someone you don’t know and with whom you have only exchanged a few words, the fact that he seemed interested and that he was about to ask something while he was about to leave could also be false projections that you have made in your head. And yet…once home, after taking a shower and putting on clean pajamas, you throw yourself on the sofa nibbling on a sandwich and open your laptop.

You open Google and type his name and the first result that comes up is “Miller - construction company”

It could be him, now that you think about it he mentioned he was working on the building next door which is in fact under construction.

You scroll down to the bottom of the page where the owners are listed and you see two names, Joel and Tommy Miller. You assume that Tommy is his brother. You go back to the Google page for a moment and check if there are any namesakes but no one else in the city has the same name. And just like that, you know what he does.

You don’t think you can do anything with this information, you live in a new apartment and everything is in perfect working order so you just have to wait. Before leaving he said “see you next time”, so now you find yourself wondering when the next time will be. Probably in a month, when he will need a new prescription.

Such a long time. But maybe this will help you, you tell yourself. It's just a passing thing, you tell yourself. You can't be so foolish as to project your fantasies onto him. You decide that this is okay, you'll just get over it.

_____________________

After a week you almost got Joel out of your mind. You worked quietly, met the usual old people who came to the clinic to be examined, no sign of him. You'd be lying if you didn't think about it anymore but you stopped yourself from doing something foolish like contacting him for a fake construction job to try to meet him.

You are preparing some prescriptions when the doctor comes out of the office and asks if you could please take some medicine to the home of a very elderly patient. It is something you usually do not do but the caregiver cannot leave her alone and her son is away for work all week so she had no choice but asking you to do that. It will take up extra time because you will have to go to the pharmacy and then to her house, the doctor offers to pay you overtime but you know the lady and say that it is not a problem, you can do it without compensation.

Of course you can do that for Rose.

When she was better and could move around quite independently you often talked when she came to the clinic, she immediately took a liking to you and treated you like a niece, she would bring you gifts, vegetables from her garden, other times sweets cooked by her.

She is a dear lady, you are happy to be able to do her a favor.

At 5:00 you leave the office and head to the pharmacy, pick up her prescriptions, and get back in the car to drive to her neighborhood.

Rose lives in a nice street with many rather large houses, well-kept gardens and white picket fences.

You knock on the door and Georgia, the caregiver hired by Rose's family to assist her, opens it.

You already know her, she has accompanied Rose to the clinic many times but lately her health has worsened a lot and she can no longer leave the house.

“Hi, Georgia! I I brought Rose’s medicines”

“Hey! How long has it been since we saw each other? Come in!” She says with a big smile.

Georgia is a very sweet person and a great professional, she has taken great care of Rose all these years. She is a qualified nurse and the granddaughter of a long time friend of Rose. Georgia had moved to Texas from Arkansas to attend college and since then she had always lived at her grandmother's house, who lived a few miles from Rose's house.

She took the job because she loved her and when her grandmother passed away Rose was very close to her.

Georgia offers you a coffee and some chocolate cookies she has prepared, which you gladly accept.

You chat a little while Rose is resting and then when it's time to wake her up to take her evening medicine you accompany Georgia to her room to say goodbye to Rose.

She is lying motionless in a bed, now forced to ask Georgia for help with everything, she is almost 85 years old now and you are so sorry to see her like this. Until a few years ago she was an energetic, witty woman, with lots of hobbies, she loved reading, gardening, cooking and going to the movies. Now she was a ghost of herself. And the worst thing was probably that her mind was still working, so she realized what was happening to her and this made her even sadder and more helpless. Her body did not respond, while her mind understood everything.

She recognizes you right away and greets you so sweetly with her now faint voice. It breaks your heart to see her like this.

She asks you for a hug and you put your arms around her little shoulders, holding her gently. She's always been good to you, she doesn't deserve this.

You leave the room, wiping away a tear, without letting Rose see you, and say goodbye to Georgia, promising to come back and visit them soon.

You stand in the driveway feeling helpless for a moment, you would like to do so much more. Some patients have become like an extended family to you, you have known them for years and seeing some of them fold in on themselves, increasingly frail and elderly is so bad.

You look up and see a black pickup truck driving down the road. There’s a man in it and he looks familiar. He pulls into the driveway two houses down and gets out. And oh, shit.

It’s Joel.

Joel Miller.

He lives in the same neighborhood as Rose and you didn’t even registered that in your mind before.

You don't know what to do, whether to get in the car and drive away pretending nothing happened or take the opportunity and go say hello to him.

It seems silly to say hello to someone you've only seen once, no matter how attractive they are. You walk to your car, rummaging through your bag for your keys.

You're about to curse because never once do you find something in your bag, it doesn't even matter what it is. Big bag? You find nothing. Small bag? You find nothing either.

Your eyes move for a moment to the asphalt and you see two boots approaching, you look up again and you see two legs wrapped in dark jeans streaked with paint and of course to those legs is attached the rest of Joel Miller's wonderful body.

Your eyes widen and you watch him stop in front of you, beautiful as a God. Even more beautiful than the first time you saw him.

“Hi! I saw you across the street and I was pretty sure it was you. I almost made a fool of myself, but hey, I was right!”

You lose your words, it's as if they've slipped out of your brain and melted at your feet.

At least you solved a dilemma, he greeted you first.

“Hi” you say shyly.

This doesn't make you any less nervous, you were trying to sneak out of this neighborhood unnoticed and you could say that he ruined everything and you don't know him well enough to know whether to be grateful or keep running away pretending to be very busy.

He has a daughter, a respectable job, a brother, lives in a nice neighborhood, and seems to lead a regular life. Is that enough to trust these days? Probably not.

This dude can be anyone, a serial killer, a criminal, a drug dealer, a thief, whatever.

How do you know he doesn't sleep with a gun on his nightstand or keep dead bodies in his basement?

Trust no one, is something you learned from a very early age and you always stood by it, safety first.

Have you been wanting to see him again for a whole week? Yes.

Did you just realize that you know nothing and that you might be risking something? This too.

“Can I ask why you’re here?” He asks, running his hand through his curls in a way that drives you instantly wild.

God, why is he so gorgeous, this doesn’t help at all.

You can always run to Rose and call the police if he suggests something strange and you’re in the middle of the street in broad daylight so you decide to take the risk and say the truth

“I came to deliver medicines to a lady who lives here” you reply, acting like he doesn’t have any kind of effect on you.

“Oh, so this is something you do? I didn’t know that”

“No, not regularly. I actually did it because it’s Rose, you know. She’s an adorable old lady”

He nods as if he knows exactly what you're talking about and actually says, "Sure, Rose. I know her. She used to babysit my daughter many years ago."

Okay, those are some great credentials. So maybe you can trust Joel Miller? Isn't he a lunatic homicidal? Maybe not.

Obviously you pretend you don’t know anything about Sarah and ask, “Oh really? You have a daughter?” raising your voice in surprise for a better result.

“Yeah I do. She's 14 years old and she's already giving me a hard time, she’s so smart and responsible that she’s basically parenting me” he shrugs while a little smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. You can see in his eyes how proud he is of her.

You giggle “well, she sounds so cool, I do love a tough girl.”

“Oh, she’s definitely your girl then”

You smile and think that after all, yes, Joel probably doesn't have any horrible skeletons in his closet.

And again he falls silent and looks uncertain and embarrassed, he lowers his eyes and then asks you, “You know, I’m going to be working in the building next to where you work for a little while longer, so I was wondering if you’d like to have a coffee with me sometime?”

It’s like every word is bouncing around in your head as you think about what to say. Would you like to get to know him better? The answer in the end is, “Yes, I would like to, thank you” you feel your face heat up as you say it.

Joel shifts his weight from one leg to the other as he looks at you, he seems nervous, excited but above all happy.

“I’m glad you accepted. So…what do you think about tomorrow?”

“Okay, I have lunch break from 12 to 2, is 1 okay for you?”

You see his face light up “sure that’s fine. See you tomorrow then”

For a moment he raises his arm as if he wants to come closer and touch you, but then he immediately lets it slide down his side.

Gentleman, you note in your head.

It is not yet the time for such confidence, but secretly you hope that it will come soon.

You say goodbye to him and get back in the car and you see him waving at you in the rearview mirror.

“God, Joel Miller, I already know you’re going to be a threat for me. In the best sense of the word.”

_________________________

In the weeks that follow, you and Joel share a lot of coffees. Every day he waits for you outside the clinic at 1:00 sharp, you go to the corner café and chat for an hour before returning to work. He tells you a lot of things about himself and his life which you adore listening about.

He also confides in you that he was in therapy and had to use antidepressants for a period of time, when Sarah's mother abandoned them. You completely understand.

And the more you talk to him the more you get convinced that he’s a great person, you don’t have any doubt about that.

He never fails to compliment you, on your clothes, on your hair, on your eyes, on your nail polish.

He laughingly admits that the compliment about the nail polish was Sarah’s suggestion. “Dad, she told me, girls like it when you notice details.”

You laugh out loud and nod. “She’s right. And you’re right, too, you have a very smart daughter.”

He shrugs “I know,” and then adds. “It’s been so long since I’ve dated anyone, I don’t even remember how to do it anymore.” You lean slightly across the table and whisper. “Well, I think you’re doing great.” And it’s true. You feel spoiled like a queen.

He gives you a mischievous smile “oh yeah?”

“Yes, definitely” And you want to kiss him right there, in that crowded café.

Yet a voice inside you still can’t understand how someone like him, who could have all the women he wants, is inviting you, a curvy girl.

You shouldn’t, but you still have those latent insecurities from when you were 15 and boys in your class made fun of you. Somewhere inside you there is still that fragile and wounded teenager who thinks it’s impossible that someone could truly love you. Or even just desire you.

And you hate it, because Joel has done nothing but show you how much he enjoys spending time with you. And his compliments have always sounded sincere, his eyes are, they send you a reassuring image, full of admiration. He seems truly interested in you.

You're still in this internal monologue where you curse yourself for being like this when he asks you, "Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?"

Oh. He did it. He took the next step.

With your heart pounding in your chest and your mouth unable to help but curl into a smile you answer “yes!” a little too loudly.

You put a hand over your mouth as he looks at you amused “well, I’m glad you’re so excited about the idea. Should I pick you up at 8?”

“Yes, that sounds perfect” you reply, quietly this time but with a little firecracker in your chest that keeps banging where your heart is.

You finish your coffee and go out and he asks for your address which he writes down on his phone. You try to say that there is no need for him to bother but he insists on picking you up.

“Do you like Italian food?”

“I love it”

“Good, see you tonight” and this time his hand wraps around your arm and squeezes lightly as he leans down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

You return to the clinic feeling like you're walking on clouds.

You come home after working as hard as you can while still feeling anxious and completely unsure of what to wear. You know you didn't do anything wrong and that's a relief because you certainly can't mess up your patients' medications.

You jump in the shower, mentally going over everything in your closet. You decide to exclude any black dress because no, simply no. It's a special day and you want to wear a color. Maybe the green dress? No, green doesn't suit you, you don't even know why you bought it. Maybe the red one? But that one is very low-cut and you've rarely felt good enough to wear it. Maybe the blue one? The blue one is low-cut, but not too low-cut, it hugs you in the right way, it doesn't highlight what you don't want. Yes, maybe it's the right choice.

You hum in the shower as you wash your hair, satisfied with your decision.

You come out feeling invincible. Joel Miller has asked you to dinner. It’s been years since anyone has asked you out. You didn’t like the ones who did, and God only knows how much you miss good sex. Someone who touches you just right. Someone who makes you sigh and whimper and feel alive in his arms.

Someone who kisses you and leaves you breathless and doesn't hesitate to make you feel simply amazing as he goes down between your thighs.

Joel seems to have all the makings and miraculously seems eager to give you exactly that.

You slip into the dress and look at yourself in the mirror. You like the image it reflects. To hell with those stupid kids who always gave you shit and made you feel horrible.

You're going out to dinner with Joel Miller tonight.

Joel fucking Miller who in the high school categorization is the equivalent of the football quarterback.

The High School Prom King.

God, that makes you feel so good.

He rings the doorbell at 8:00 sharp, just as you’ve finished putting on your favorite lipstick. You take a deep breath as you go to open the door, placing your hand on the handle, and mentally preparing yourself for what you’ll find on the other side.

Finally you open it and he’s perfect. He looks like a painting framed by your door.

You stifle a scream with all your strength and say “hello” to him in a high pitched voice.

Goddamn you.

He doesn't even seem to notice. “So, miss, are you ready?”

“Sure, thank you.”

You grab your bag from the hall table and walk out with him. He takes your hand as he walks you to his pick up truck, opens the door and helps you get in.

Once in the driver's seat he turns to you and says "you look incredible tonight"

And you're about to say that after all you could skip dinner, who cares, instead you could go to your room and fuck. But you decide to behave as well as him, this man has a daughter to take care of and it seems like he's not looking for a one night stand judging by how many coffees he's offered you and how much he's put in to get to know you, so much so that by the second time he could order for you with his eyes closed, so you just say “you too” with the biggest smile widening on your face.

And oh, it's so true. He left aside the flannel shirts and the worn jeans and with them he was already the most attractive man who had ever caught your eye.

He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a beige shirt that hugs his strong biceps. You can glimpse his soft tummy as he drives, the last button before his belt tightening in a delicious way, his meaty thighs wrapped in those jeans are mouth watering.

The work he does makes him muscular in all the right places.

The car stops in front of the restaurant and he opens the door for you again. He lets you enter the restaurant first, he addresses the waitress politely and they place you at the best table in the restaurant. You are impressed, he did all this for you.

The evening passes pleasantly, you talk a lot and chat about everything, by now there is a familiarity between you that you have built over the weeks, you feel safe and comfortable with him. Finally. After so many failed and wrong relationships you feel like you have found someone right. Joel is not ashamed of you, he doesn't try to change you, he doesn't comment on your weight, he is truly a breath of fresh air.

And you see the way he looks at you, enraptured. His eyes sparkle as he talks to you and listens to you. He listens to what you have to say and never makes inappropriate comments.

You both have a sense of humor and you like that, you manage not to take yourself too seriously and laugh together. Which is hot. Extremely hot. Every time you see that dimple on his cheek pop up, your knees buckle and your heart melts. He’s so adorable.

You also like the fact that he talks to you about Sarah, it makes you feel involved in his life, it seems like he doesn't try to keep you separate from it.

“Sarah is at a sleepover at one of her friends. So…would you like to stay over tonight?” he says it looking you straight in the eye and you already know what it means.

It’s the night.

The big night.

After all, you felt it and put on your favorite lingerie.

“Sure I want to,” you reply, taking his hand across the table and squeezing it. His hands big and strong…you can’t wait to feel them all over your body.

He insists on paying the bill despite your protests, you walk out of the restaurant and toward the truck when Joel grabs your waist and presses you against the door. He’s an inch from your lips, you can feel his warm breath on your skin.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What if I say no?” you tease him with a mischievous smile.

His body is completely on top of yours and the truth is that you can already feel your panties getting wet.

“I would quit, but it wouldn’t be easy so I hope you’ll reconsider”

You giggle “okay” and you feel his hands tighten on your hips.

He presses his lips against yours and it's a sloppy, needy kiss, urgent, all spit and tongue.

It leaves you breathless and you wonder what he will do in bed if this is the effect he has on you with just one kiss.

In fact you are touching each other really for the first time, in these weeks you have imagined many times his lips, their taste, their softness, their warmth. Now you know that he exceeds all your expectations.

He's calmer now, his lips fit perfectly between yours, he gently nibbles your lower lip and continues to lick inside your mouth.

He’s divine.

Utterly divine.

His hands run up and down your hips and he's about to lift your dress and grab your thigh when you stop him. “Joel…”

He looks at you with bated breath and eyes begging for mercy. “Yes, sweetie?”

“Not here…please, take me home” you whisper and he sighs “okay”

You don't even know how you managed to stop but you want your first time to be just for the two of you, you don't want to risk prying eyes or voices shouting obscene comments getting in the way.

You're already nervous enough that he'll see you naked for the first time.

He makes you get back in the pick up and gets into the driver's seat, while he fastens his seat belt you cast an eye at his crotch and you realize he’s semi-hard.

While he's driving, you put your hand on his thigh, because he has to know how much you want him.

You squeeze gently and hear him grunt “Babe…don’t do it, I won’t make it home.” and you giggle.

His low, raspy voice drives you crazy, and for a moment while you're stopped at the traffic light you consider sliding down your seat and straddling him but no, just no, wrecking his car on your first date wouldn't be the best way to end it.

You take a deep breath, leaving your hand quietly on his leg, but you want… oh you want so much to move it up and reach his bulge and stroke it over his pants.

When he pulls up in his driveway in the cab of his pickup truck there's an electricity between you that could power a small village, you feel it fluctuating in the air.

He quickly unbuckles his belt and leans over you to unbuckle yours, not without kissing you. “Let's go, pretty lady, I feel like I can’t wait a minute longer”

You get out and run to the door, he nervously searches for his keys in his pockets and opens it. You don't even have time to look around, it's the first time you enter his house but you only see it fleetingly because he takes your hand and immediately drag you to the bedroom.

There’s a chest of drawers in one corner and a wardrobe, both made of dark wood, probably made by him.

In the center of the room there is a large bed with a headboard of the same wood, the walls are a beautiful cerulean blue, there are three paintings hanging above the bed.

The bed has beige sheets and a light beige duvet with white stripes.

It’s a very manly cozy room, he makes you sit on the bed and you feel how comfortable it is, it's like him, warm and soft.

He starts undressing in front of you, he takes off his shirt and unbuttons his jeans without taking his eyes off you, he seems hypnotized by you.

You suddenly feel like there's an emptiness in the pit of your stomach, you wonder if you're ready to make yourself so vulnerable in front of him.

Oh fuck, where did this come from now? Why? You were so happy just a second ago.

It was easy in public places, you were able to use irony and your defense tactics.

Now there’s just the two of you and you wanted that, you insisted for that and yet you feel exposed now.

You know it's right, your insecurities right now aren't from Joel. Joel makes you feel safe.

It's you, it's just you.

Joel notices your hesitation, comes closer and caresses your face then he gently takes your chin and raises your gaze towards his

“Are you okay?”

“Yes” you reply in a small voice.

“If you don’t want to do it, that’s okay, darling.”

Your voice cracks a little as you reply “no, oh no, Joel I want it”

“So what’s wrong? Talk to me, you can trust me, you know?” He slips his hand into your hair and caresses you gently, looking you intensely in the eyes.

It's so stupid, all night you've felt hungry and lustful for him and now… you're afraid that seeing you naked he might think he made a mistake.

“I…” you try to say. You know that he at least deserves sincerity from you “I… I’m ashamed”

Joel's eyes widen and a completely confused expression appears on his face “about what?”

He really doesn't seem to understand and it makes you feel a little frustrated

“About my body, about the fact that I'm not thin, I have stretch marks and many other defects and you will see them” you say it all in one breath feeling silly.

“Oh babe…no. Listen to me carefully: you’re absolutely gorgeous. You don't have to be afraid to undress in front of me, I'm sure that whatever is under your clothes is wonderful and deserves to be worshipped. I really like you. I'm not saying this just because I want to have sex. You’re beautiful, honey”

You feel tears stinging your eyes and you fight them back with all your strength “you could have anyone you want”

“I want you. I want you if you let me” his voice is firm, his fingers caress your jaw until they reach your lips and brush them gently.

“Do you trust me?”

Sure, why shouldn’t I. He’s never given me a reason not to. you say to yourself.

“Yes” you whisper

“I want nothing more than to make you feel good and I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

“I know”

“And you can always talk to me about anything, okay? I don’t want to make you regret this”

He is sincere. He is absolutely sincere and you can clearly see it in his big beautiful brown eyes.

“Okay” you smile

“And by the way…your curves make me absolutely feral” he gives you a mischievous smile.

“Yeah?” you say with a hint of surprise

“Sure. Would you let me prove it to you?” his hand is on your shoulder now and lingers on the strap of your dress.

“Yes, please Joel… yes”

Damn insecurities, they were about to make you lose the best man you've ever met.

And now you feel impatient again and want his hands everywhere.

Now you notice his broad chest, the freckles scattered across his skin, the happy trail of hair that ends up hidden by his jeans.

Now you can enjoy the view of his muscular shoulders and strong neck and you can't wait to taste his skin under your tongue.

His hands move slowly over you, he slides the straps of your dress and reveals your bra.

“Get up,” he says, “I want to show you something.”

You look at him in disbelief. “What?”

“Come with me” he takes your hand and makes you get out of bed.

He takes you to a full-length mirror in a corner of his room “Sarah made me buy this because she says I have to look at myself before I leave the house. She says I make terrible combinations when I get dressed. Sometimes I'm in a hurry and wear my shirt inside out or something like that." he says smiling and shaking his head.

You giggle and the confidential tone with which he speaks to you makes you feel special.

“Well I don't know if it's the mirror's merit but you did a good job tonight” you joke.

You are in front of the mirror and he is behind you “look at yourself”

You become serious again and observe yourself.

“Look how beautiful you are” he says in his deep and slightly hoarse voice“can I?” he asks placing his hands on the clasp of your bra. You nod.

He takes off your bra and drops it on the floor. You look at that woman in the mirror, you look at her skin and the roundness of her breasts and her hard nipples and then you look into his eyes and you see nothing but admiration “God, your breasts are amazing” you hear him say “can I touch them?” and you nod again “yes, please Joel”

He traces the outline with his fingers and then cups his hands and fills them with your tits.

You don't miss the moan of pleasure that he tries to stifle in his throat “they are so soft” he squeezes them delicately “mmm baby, they feel amazing in my hands”

He takes your nipples between his fingers and tugs on them slightly “and these? Look how sexy they are, I bet they would be delicious in my mouth”

You feel your skin heat up and your head spin, you squeeze your eyes shut at the sensation of his hands playing with yours hard buds and his words go straight to your cunt. He’s so good at this.

“Open your eyes, honey” he whispers in your ear “don't stop looking at yourself”

His hands leave your breasts and for a moment you want to take them and put them back there but you let him. He slides your dress down your hips, until you're left in your underwear in front of the mirror.

“You’re stunning” he punctuates every syllable on your skin making you tremble “absolutely gorgeous”

His hand slides over your stomach and your belly that always makes you feel insecure “Is that what worries you?” he asks as if he can read inside you “that you don't have a flat stomach? Honey, your tummy is amazing.”

He squeezes it and it seems incredible to you how delicate his big hands can be “It's full and delicious and sweet and I can't wait to bite into it”

You squirm, leaning over his broad chest “Oh my god” you moan

He caresses your hips with both hands, supporting you “and these… they feel welcoming and warm and mmm baby, so sensual. Can you see it? They fit my hands so perfectly”

You look at yourself and you've never felt this way.

Guided by his words you finally see yourself beautiful and desirable.

He slips his fingers under the edge of your panties “Can I?”

“Yes” you say in a breath

He slowly slides them off, revealing your pussy “Jesus.” He mutter “look at her. Look how perfect she is”

He just touches your mound and you feel hypnotized, his voice, his hands, the warmth of his body, it’s all too much.

“Oh baby… I love that you left that little strip of hair”

You can't hold back anymore and you whine “touch me Joel, I want more”

His voice vibrates on your soft skin again “Tell me what you want, in detail” He bites the spot where your neck meets your shoulder “I want to hear”

“Oh god… I want… I want your fingers inside me, stretching me just right” you babble “I want to feel full”

His fingers slide between your folds “God baby you’re soaking wet. It’s all for me?”

You squirm under his touch nodding repeatedly, you feel desperately needy and hungry.

“Yes. Please Joel”

“Please what, baby?” He ask maliciously

“Make me yours, make me all yours”

“Can you see how beautiful you are now?”

“Yes” you nod “yeah. Don’t make me wait any longer. I need you, Joel”

You can swear that right now you feel really beautiful and also the luckiest woman in the world.

“Oh, you're getting impatient now… I like that” he says in a hushed tone.

He's still behind you and holding you close, he's still wearing his jeans but you can feel his hard cock pressing against your ass.

You look small in his arms, he surrounds you completely.

He brings you back to the bed and makes you lie down, you are completely naked and yet you no longer feel ashamed and inadequate.

He takes off his jeans, remaining in a pair of black boxers.

At the sight of his erection poking out against the fabric you lick your lips in anticipation.

He lies on top of you, his eyes on yours, looking at you intently “You’re perfect, honey” and then his mouth crash into your neck, kissing and licking everything he can, he takes your skin between his lips sucking and biting like he was starving for you.

“Your skin is like velvet and you smell so good, fuck”

And you whimper and cry and clasp your hands on his shoulder digging your nails in them and you feel like you don’t need anything else in this life.

He lowers himself on your body, grazing at your skin with his lips, lingering for a while on your nipples and mumbling at how good they are.

“I love touching you with my mouth, tasting your curves against my lips” until he reaches your tummy giving sloppy kisses at it and then he bites it. His teeth are attentive and gentle but at the same time eager, like he wants to taste your whole being.

And then he come to your mound and traces your thin strip of hair with his tongue and you buck your hips and move one of your hands through his curls and you plead “more, Joel, please”

He grunts at you when you tug his hair and you look at him with the most miserable begging eyes you can pull out “You want it so bad, babe? Want me to eat you out?”

You mewl a yes and he smirk “want to come on my tongue?”

You nod again “yes”

He places himself between your thighs “God, she seems made for this. So sweet scented and pretty. I bet she tastes so good”

And in an instant he dives into your pussy and his nose bumps your clit as his tongue begins to lick you up and down, delving your folds and making your hips jerk.

Your legs are wrapped around his back and his hand is on your tummy holding you in place “god, you look so beautiful like that, my precious angel, all spread and ravenous for me” every word vibrates on your clit and make you moan loudly. It’s like a demon took possession of your body, an insatiable and aching demon that wants nothing but pleasure.

He nudges at your entrance with his tongue and you cry again for more “your fingers, Joel, please, give them to me”

He pushes two fingers inside your soaking wet hole, they enter just easily and he curls them up inside you reaching for your sweetest spot.

“fuck, yes” you howl “god they feel so good, they feel so fucking good, Joel”

“I know baby, I know, you’re taking them so perfectly”

He continues to swirl his tongue over your clit as he pump his fingers in and out of you, increasing the pace when you can’t hold your moans anymore and you’re so loud you almost fear his neighbors can hear you “God, Joel, I’m coming - I’m - coming ah- god you’re incr- ah” you’re totally babbling trying to get a complete sentence out of your mouth and you can’t, you just can’t because he’s too much and you never felt that good before.

“Soak my fingers, babe, soak my face, give it all to me”

Your pussy clench around his fingers and you feel breathless as your orgasm washes all over you, his dirty talk made you over the edge.

You whine his name as you come, again and again and he doesn’t stop lapping at you until you’re calm.

He lies down next to you, wrapping his arms around you, you bury your head in the crook of his neck and sigh, “Oh, Joel.”

His hand sits on your ass squeezing gently “Such a good girl for me. I can’t believe you almost called yourself out from this”

You playfully pinch one his nipples “don’t make a fool of me”

“I would never” he says, kissing your hair “I’m just saying that you’re too good to not be taken care of. Your body deserves to feel passion and lust and all of that”

“On that note… there’s something else I’d like to do” you look at him maliciously

“What, baby?”

“I would love to… uhm… fuck, I would love to give you head”

He tilt his head “excuse me miss? Watch your mouth!” You giggle hiding your face in his chest and he laugh, and then he goes serious and ask “You sure? You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to”

“Yeah, I know” and you raise your face to kiss the lovely bald patch in his beard and you move to his ear and you whisper “I really want that though”

“As you please, sunshine”

You cup his bulge in his boxer and stroke it gently over the fabric “someone else here needs to be taken care of too”

He grunts “yeah, baby, keep going like that”

“Actually… I can make it even better” and you move from his side getting on your knees on the bed and then sitting on your heels as you keep stroking him.

You lower his boxer and his cock spring free, he’s already hard as rock. You lick your lips “delicious” and he looks at you mischievously “I guess you can be naughtier than I thought, baby”

You smirk back at him, lowering yourself on his groin and kissing the tip of his cock, just the tip, gently as a feather.

You giggle and pull back as he bucks up his hips to your mouth “so impatient, aren’t you?”

“It’s just… I didn’t have anyone giving me head in a very long time”

You open your eyes wide “I don't believe it”

“I swear” he says in a lower hoarse tone “I didn’t… I had some one night stand here and there but nothing serious, you know, I needed to be focused on Sarah and my work. so everything was quick and meaningless”

You can’t imagine Joel having meaningless sex with anybody, he’s so respectful and attentive with you.

You raise an eyebrow. “Joel Miller, do you mean to make me believe that all the women in the neighborhood aren’t in love with you?”

“Oh Rose loves me for sure” and you laugh “but about the others… I don’t know, some of them tried a couple of times but I always rejected them. I told you, I didn’t have time for complications”

“Then why you’ve changed your mind now?”

“Sarah threatened to sign me up for Tinder if I didn't find someone. And then I met you”

You giggle “so you went out with me to be safe from Tinder”

“At first, maybe. But now you know that it's not just that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

What he just did speaks volumes about how much he likes you.

And you’re even more convinced now.

You lower your head and lick the tip again swirling your tongue around it and he moans.

You slide your tongue flat along his length and wrap your hand around the base. It's big, bigger than you expected but you don't feel intimidated.

“Oh baby, you’re so good to me, what have I done to deserve such a perfect girl?”

He gasps when you took all you can of his cock in your mouth, feeling his length sliding over your tongue and his musky taste invading your palate, you whine beginning to suck like you’re desperate, stroking the rest of it with your fingers.

It doesn’t take too much before you start feeling him throbbing between your lips, he’s right on the edge as you suck and lick and kiss him like the most delicious lollipop you’ve ever had.

He pants loudly bucking his hips “Baby I’m almost - AH- almost there”

You make his cock pop out of your mouth “finish inside me, then”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m on the pill” you nod straddling his crotch and positioning his cock at your entrance.

You slowly lower yourself feeling the tip force its way into your hole and you moan with every inch that pushes its way inside you.

You stay still for a moment feeling his cock fill you up completely.

He says nothing but he looks you in the eyes and the brown of his pupils has become incredibly dark.

Eventually you start moving on top of him, placing your hands on his chest, your pussy making lewd sounds and your tits bouncing, he takes them in his hands squeezing them as he sinks into you, deeper and deeper and harder and harder.

You’re basically riding him and you've never felt so wild and free, your insecurities just disappeared clouded by your pleasure.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so gorgeous like this, look at the way your hips move, it’s so fucking amazing”

You throw yourself onto his chest as you feel his seed paint your walls, you take his mouth with yours stifling his moans that echo inside you.

He slides a hand between you, searching for your clit, and his calloused fingers begin to move over it. You end the kiss to look into his eyes, “don’t stop” he whispers “come for me baby.”

Your head feels light and your vision blurs as you feel your orgasm building up from the depths of your tummy, your pussy clenching and squeezing his cock.

You gush all over him like never before, making a mess of his crotch and the sheets underneath, crying his name so hard.

You rest your head next to his, inhaling the smell of tobacco, wood and the sweat of his neck, and you laugh, you laugh joyfully, “God,” and he does the same, wrapping his arms around you and caressing your back “Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, I'm sorry”

He holds you tighter “you don't have to be sorry, darling, it was wonderful”

“I made such a mess” you murmur

“So what? Nothing that laundry can’t fix. And I’m good at laundry, you know?”

He kisses your forehead and stroke your cheek “I haven't felt this good in ages”

“Yeah, me too” you kiss him wrapping one your leg around his.

You both stay quiet for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth, kissing every now and then suddenly it hits you and you say, “Do you know who we owe all this to?”

“No, I don’t honey, to whom?” he asks confused.

“Rose” you say “Think about it, if I hadn't brought her medicines that day we wouldn't be here now."

“That’s true. I think we should go visit her and bring her a nice present.”

“Yes. She will love the story of how we met.”

You kiss him again and think about what gift could match this. Probably none, because it's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

[pshcomforts]

➳ always | psh.

idol!sunghoon x fem!reader

“i don’t want things to change, pray they’ll stay the same”

synopsis: you and sunghoon celebrate your 100 day anniversary!

warnings/content: written in third pov. fluffy fluff!!! it gets a teeny tiny bit suggestive but nothing happens. hoon and reader love to tease each other! reader also doesn’t do well with affection (lol). nicknames — gorgeous, loser, idiot, pretty. not proofread.

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 2.0k

a/n: this oneshot is in support of my followers reaching 500+ and bc i love you guys! thank you for always showing support one way or another, whether you comment/reblog or you’re a silent follower, you guys have made my account grow so much regardless! forever grateful for each and every one <3 so here’s a happy and comforting fluff!

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: always by daniel caesar

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

2:22 ─────────────|────── -1:22

the day dawned over as sunrise started to peek through the sheer window curtains, awakening y/n.

her eyes cracked open little by little, quickly searching around the room for her phone.

soon enough, the device was in her grasp — looking over the notifications received through the quiet night. a few text messages were shown here and there from her friends and her boyfriend, who was already gone due to his busy idol life.

then, a sudden notification had caught her eye.

୨⎯ don’t forget! 100 day celebration with hoon ׂׂૢ ⎯୧

y/n’s eyes sparkled with joy at the reminder. mind filled with exciting bliss in the thought process of finally getting a day off at work to frost cakes for fun with her boyfriend.

her body basically jolted from the built up anticipation, jumping up from bed to get a start on making the homemade cakes.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

as hours passed and the sun was setting down, sunghoon had finally reached the time to leave practice.

he quickly bid his members goodbye, leaving hybe building to get to where he called home.

“y/n?” he yelled after approaching inside the apartment.

instantly, the boy was hit with the smell of baked sweets — creating a lightly approved hum to be heard.

“gorgeous?”

his call was more worrisome now, a hint of curiosity showing through as he walked in to see his girlfriend with little frosting marks around her clothes.

“hi hoonie!” she cutely beamed with an eye smile.

sunghoon’s heart instantly lit up, fluttering as he took in the sight in front of him. he cleared his throat before replying back — “you finished baking the cakes?”

y/n nodded her head like an eager child. “yeah! i didn’t want to take too long baking because the frosting’s the fun part!” her exclaim had him abruptly smile.

“i wanted to bake with you though.”

his eyes scanned around the room, observing the cake batter slightly spilled around the dirtied bowls while the flour was around his girlfriend. he cracked a grin at her awkward stance after what he said.

“sorry.., i just thought you would’ve wanted to do the frosting because of how tired you might’ve been from practice.”

the male shook his head to reassure her with a playful manner taking over.

“it’s okay, pretty. i’m sure we can still have our fun frosting the cakes together.” his assurance made his girl smile, feeling a comforting warmth at the pit of her stomach.

“thank you..,” she blushed, cheeks reddening at the name call.

“being with me for 100 days has really made you go soft huh?”

“no!” her yell echoed in the quiet kitchen as she landed a smack on his arm afterward.

hoon faked the pain, grabbing at where he had been hit with an exclaim — “ow, y/n!”

the girl playfully rolled her eyes at his cheesy act.

“shut up hoon,” she murmured back with a half smile forming on her lips.

he hissed out a sigh, still going along with the same energy.

“not even gonna tend to your 100 day boyfriend?”

“it’s actually been a little longer than 100 days, so…”

hoon beamed a smile at the little reminder. “so are you still gonna frost cakes with your 100 plus day boyfriend or what?”

“yes hoonie, i am.” she softly replied back, getting the colors of the frosting ready as the cakes cooled down.

the boy hummed a — “good” — before approaching her and planting a kiss on her cheek. they quickly blushed a bright pink once her eyes met his, reflecting love as his did so too.

still meeting her gaze, he mumbled, “can’t wait to see the outcome of our cakes.”

the two smiled in unison after what he said.

sunghoon pulled her in, closing the gap between them to place a sweet kiss on her lips.

“are you gonna wear your practice outfit or do you wanna change into something else?” y/n asked, but breathlessly against him.

she felt his lips turn into a grin, replying with — “i’ll change into something more comfortable.” he clicked his tongue before leaving to her room.

as he changed into something more easing for the occasion, the girl spread out the bowls of frostings and mini cakes onto the table. she strummed in approval, grabbing an apron to tie around herself.

hoon then walked out to the living room, already having his apron on from grabbing it when walking to the bedroom. his eyes instantly landed on her body figure as she barely started to wrap it around her waist.

“want help with that?” he softly beamed with glimmered eyes.

she nodded, turning around so her boyfriend could reach the back ties.

the stance they were in made them a little awkward in the moment, everything quiet and still as she patiently waited to be done. he cinched it up close to her waist, hands being delicate with the back of her body.

his hands then snaked around her waist, pulling her into an embracing hug.

a gasp from y/n was heard from the sudden touch, cheeks unknowingly blushing as she said, “gosh hoon, that was sudden.”

his head rested on her shoulder, eyes closing from the warmth while only chuckling.

soon enough, she pulled away with a bright smile that reflected his.

“come on, we should decorate these cakes.”

her mumble was soft as she sat down, pulling him down with her as well. his gaze lingered to stay on her, but due to the compliance of her request, he decided to actually start frosting the cakes with her.

for the rest of the night, y/n and sunghoon continued to frost and decorate their lunchbox cakes — quiet music playing in the background as they talked to each other through different topics.

“are you almost done?” the pretty boy asked with an eyebrow raise.

she nodded her head with no attention turned to him, all focus completely put into the effort of making the cake look aesthetic.

taking note of this was too obvious in his eyes as he cracked a soft laugh at her — “you’re really focused on this, aren’t you?”

y/n nodded her head again with no response, leaving hoon to disappointingly shake his head in a playful way. he clicked his tongue in an attempt to catch her attention once more but couldn’t celebrate in victory of it.

“gorgeous?” sunghoon called out. “look at me.”

her head swiftly turned to finally look at the boy, only to be met with frosting suddenly landing on her nose.

she gasped loudly at the sweet cream placement — “PARK SUNGHOON!”

his face was immediately enlightened with joy at the name call, fangs and dimples showing up on display for her to see how much he enjoyed her distress.

“how dare you??” the girl whined, smudging off just a little bit of the frosting.

“sorry,” sunghoon snickered a laugh — “but you were too focused.”

“it’s my turn now!” y/n yelled out, fingers dipping into the frosting to get revenge.

he screamed a — “NO!” — as he backed away, only to land on his back with her on top of him.

she laughed at his fallout, hands attempting in every way to place the frosting somewhere near his face.

“stop fussing around hoonie, you started this!”

her voice echoed in the apartment with his laughs being the only thing heard from him.

“you’ll never get it on me!”

with his last words said, she eventually was able to swipe the frosting onto his cheek, earning a scream from him.

“NOOOO!”

hoon’s words were filled with tears of agony and she only giggled at his silly screech, analyzing his facial features to see how playful he was.

eye were shut, dimple was popping through, and full teeth were out for her to see.

“loser, that’s what you get.” y/n teased, nudging his shoulder with her hand like she always did.

he shook his head like a dog shaking its body after a bath, fluffy hair flopping around.

“you better not do it anymore,” she added in with a proud glint in her smile.

he playfully rolled his eyes, flashing another ear-to-ear grin at her as he said, “fine i won’t..,”

her body turned back to the direction of the cake before swiping another finger into the frosting, evil plan already forming in her head.

“hoon..?”

as soon as his face turned, she quickly let the frosting place itself on the tip of his nose. sunghoon shut his eyes at the sensation.

“Y/N!!”

as if the two had switched places, he began to wipe the frosting away and attempt to get back at her.

almost immediately, she was pinned under him, squirming around to leave his grasp but couldn’t due to his strong hold.

“hoonie, you’re supposed to just get me back, not pin me like this!”

y/n shook her head as his amused smile grew.

“i like this more,” he commented.

his finger went to her lips, letting the soft frosting touch them before swooping his head down. their lips connected as he tasted the sweet vanilla icing.

she kissed back and he softly smiled into it, pulling away not too long after to lick his lips.

sunghoon’s eyes glistened as his gaze locked onto hers, admiring just how gorgeous his girlfriend was.

“happy 100 days with you,” he gently murmured with a half smile.

y/n reflected his facial expression as her eye smiles creased — “happy 100 days, loser.”

his hands interlocked with hers, tangling together as they stayed in the same position. they both admired their partner, each in honest disbelief of how they even managed to find someone who got them like no other.

“can’t believe 100 days passed, time moves so quick when I’m with somebody like you.” he uttered, causing y/n’s face to scrunch.

a smile quickly formed on her face after, responding— “that was a little cheesy, hoon.”

the two mirrored each other’s grin, small laughs heard as he shook his head.

“i just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me.”

her eyes softened at his adorable confession, causing her cheeks to blush with his. she slipped her hands out of his hold, placing them on the sides of his face to pull him in for another soft kiss.

“through all the teasings, you mean the world to me.., idiot.”

her whisper was delicately against his lips as she pulled away, causing the males face to flush.

in realization of the butterflies he got, he forced himself to lift from their position, allowing her to sit up as well.

“let’s finish decorating these cakes, yeah?” he sweetly mumbled.

y/n nodded in agreement and the two turned back to their cakes that began to crust a little due to the lack of attention.

sunghoon placed a soft kiss on her cheek before fully going back, enjoying how rosy they got at the sudden affection she still wasn’t used to.

“stop it..,” she whined, secretly liking his little displays of affection that were only meant for her.

the girl nudged his shoulder, eyes not even wanting to meet his as she felt her heart thumping.

“go back to your cake.” she added on, taking a quick glance at him so she could admire his gorgeous features.

sunghoon didn’t say anything, just simply smiling and chuckling at his girlfriend before complying to her words.

the two continued to frost and decorate their cakes as the night began to come through.

soft music remained to be the mood maker for them, playing out as they laughed in constant unison of looking over at their fond memories of being together for a little more than 100 days.

more was definitely yet to come as they found their other half in human form.

the invisible string becoming tighter than before while creating more memories to look back on.

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

a/n: just wanted to say again, thank you for always supporting one way another! unfortunately, i will be going on a quick hiatus just bc of finals. i won’t be able to write a lot with my focus on school for a little so for the time being, other requests in my inbox will be on hold but i’ll still be posting some of my old writings! so it’s just my new works that’ll be on hiatus (lol). thank you regardless! <33

[luffyvace]

Helloooo! I saw ur request open and writing for saiki k! I see so little context of him 😭

May I request where saiki is dating his favorite author(she is an anonymous writer) and he didn't know (like she Naver though to tell him about it and she Naver really think of her work when w him or when in school) and maybe finding out through his dad that she is ? And how would he react and think after he found out ?

(sorry if my request was long 😭)

Yeah me too !! 😭

ohhh wow! What an interesting and fun request! Thank you :}

(you used ‘she’ so reader implied is fem but I won’t mention you being a girl just in case <3)

Don’t worry it’s not too long at all~

☕️🌷

Everyday you get home after school and write, as a comfort and to make some change to buy things you like :)

You do publish your work, but your an anonymous writer

your sales have been doing really good and everything! Your forever grateful!

it makes you happy seeing as though writing makes you happy and is your comfort!

so the fact that you could be doing that for others makes you joyous 💓

there’s also your boyfriend Kusuo!

he’s a reserved and genuine guy who treats you very well :)

you’ve been an item for a while now and your really happy in your relationship!

man you’ve really got it going for yourself!! 😋💪

this company has been loyally publishing your work for quite some time which makes you satisfied to see they like your writing!

school’s good too! You and Kusuo have a friend group who you go out with pretty often

(alright that was a little bit of some reader POV now here’s the fun part! 😆)

Kusuo finished his coffee jelly and was going down stairs to put the dishes in the sink

until he spotted his dad reading his favorite book/manga!!

”hey dad what book is that?”

his dad’s inner dialogue: “holy crap my son is talking to me!”

“oh uh nothing son just uh (book/manga title name)—I uhh, brought a copy from work home”

”they have that series there?”

”yeah! We do! We have every chapter! Actually, we’re the ones publishing them! Do want me to get you the set?…..if I lick my bosses shoes a couple extra times I’m sure I could pull a few strings..”

”thanks.”

his dad’s inner dialogue: “holy crap I just had a conversation with my son! He was wanted to talk to…me! I can’t believe it..!”

saiki’s inner dialogue: “goodness..😒🤦”

”n-no problem son! Heheh..”

He was gonna go back to his room but stopped at the stairs

“hey dad..the author uses a pen name..do you know who they are?”

“Huh-! Oh!- yeah I do! I’ve met them in person actually- do you wanna meet them?”

Kusuo nods and walks off

his dad then proceeds to dance in his living room, as he’s had a successful conversation with his son that Kusuo started 🕺🕺

Later that week, saiki and his dad wait for you to show up at his job with the latest chapter

he was indeed able to pull a few strings…by licking some shoes..

when you walk in Kusuo’s dad came up to you and (re)introduced you to his son

”Kusuo this is (Name), the author you asked me to introduce you to. (Name), meet my son Kusuo”

you looked surprised to see Kusuo and that he wanted to meet you?? I mean you know your anonymous but he likes your work?! You had no idea he was buying!

Kusuo has a slightly amused expression on his face

“Kusuo? You…”

..were at a loss of words at such a funny situation! (LOL)

you two ended up explaining both sides of the situation

you said you love to write, but anonymously and you never got around to telling him

he said this is his favorite series from you and your his favorite author, he’s been buying for a while to be frank!

ohhh!

this may be the way his parents found out you were a couple and let me tell you he was less than pleased..(not that he wanted to hide it but his parents…..:^ yeah 😃)

Saiki got the privilege of getting the first copy of the latest chapter before it was even published! :)

and now he always does <3

he also has the perk of getting it for free!

horray! Now he can save his money for coffee jelly- 😚

LOL not that he doesn’t wanna support you

you simply give it to him and he accepts ♥︎

he also gets the honors of helping you decide things for the story!

He gleefully reads the parts in which his opinion was inserted

however he doesn’t want to influence any major plot points- he doesn’t like spoilers :P

(It is possible he persuades people at school to buy your books so you can have the funding to keep going and make you happy simultaneously—but we’ll never really know 🤷‍♀️ )

your actually my first saiki k request! Thank you! I appreciate it love!

hopefully you had a good meal out of these headcanons cherished anonymous~ ☺️

[byunpum]

Experiment 56 [part 5]

Neteyam x Human reader ( like a mix of human and Navi )

and sullyFAM x human reader, spider x reader , and quaritch x reader (dont blame me )

Tw: mmm neteyam baby, reader being mutant, neytiri being a sweetheart-mother, jealousy, spider being spider, Watch out for quaritch, 18+ light smut, net and spider fighting like baby girls, all the characters are aged up 20's.

POV: Y/N is surprised that it is an indispensable piece for the human race. Her family will do everything possible to keep her hidden and safe…

Experiment 56 masterlist | Experiment 56 sequel Masterlist

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7

Note: I loved this part, it's a bit long. So please enjoy it. I think there are only two or three parts left to finish the series, but I don't know yet. And remember that if you want me to do more stuff about other characters, go ahead, the request is open. From now on I warn you that I am not very expert in this Navi culture, but I did my best. And I'll be using events that happened in the movie, but they won't be exactly the same. And sorry for the spelling. English is not my mother tongue.

You were already on your way to marui that you shared with your family, you were so upset. How dare he say that to you, wasn't Neteyam his friend. You were not his friend?, you thought it was all clear. You and spider never worked out and decided to be friends. But now, he's saying that you and neteyam aren't compatible. But maybe spider is right… you might have some physical characteristics of a navi, but you were still a human. You were nothing… well, maybe he was right. Neteyam needed to be with someone just like him. And you well… there was only one, you. So you would have to stay alone. You would really like to know what was the purpose of your creation.

You enter the marui, everyone was there except neteyam. Tuk and kiri were in a corner playing. And neytiri, jake and loak were sitting together preparing dinner. You walk in and go straight to where neytiri is. "Here are the snails, I picked up quite a few" you affirm and hand the bag to neytiri, while changing your gaze to go sit somewhere else. "Thank you sweetheart." Said neytiri surprised by your behavior, you were never this cold to her. Everyone was silent and looked at each other. "What could be happening to her?" said jake, while looking at neytiri. "what did you do to her?" jake gives loak a punch on his arm." Ouch, I didn't do anything… she was alone on the beach" loak complains. "She won't be at it…dad what does she get y/n every month" loak looks at his father, "period?, I don't think so" jake looks at neytiri for her to confirm it.

Neytiri didn't know about the "period" thing until one day when you were 10 years old, loak came to tell her that you were dying and that she had to say goodbye to you. Neytiri ran to where you were, and saw blood coming down from your legs. She took you in her arms and ran to Norm and max's lab. She wasn't a big fan of humans, but she trusted Norm enough. He was practically her children's uncle. "What's happening to her?" asks neytiri in panic. While you are crying, loak is also crying because he thinks his sister is going to die. Norm laughs a little and explains that periods are normal for the human female body. After that, Jake helps Neytiri understand how it all works. Two months later, Neytiri was an expert. She even prepared a special kind of reusable pad for you. Mo'at was in charge of preparing some drinks to ease the pains and loak was no longer crying for his sister.

"no, it's not her period yet. She's upset." Neytiri looks at loak, and pushes him a little." Go and talk to your sister and then come and tell us what she told you" neytiri orders loak, " but mom, they are literally sending me alive to a thanator" loak complains again. "Go, listen to your mother" jake pushes loak a little bit. He gets up and walks over to you, looks back and sees his parents waving for him to keep walking. "They're such old gossips" thinks loak, arriving to where you were and sitting down next to you. There was a long silence… too long for his taste. You were ignoring him, loak saw how you were organizing your snail collection. He had to admit, you have a talent for that. But that wasn't his mission. "Hey, how nice your snails look" loak spoke, making you look at him with a murderous look," tell mom and dad I'm not going to say anything" you speak. "Please!!! They forced me to ask you" loak pushes you a little with his arm. Again there was silence…

"Loak, I had a little argument with spider, but it's nothing serious. " you said to your annoying brother, you were hoping he would stop bothering you." you said to your annoying brother, you were hoping he would stop bothering you. "ahhhh I see, it's because of that" Loak says, while trying to understand the situation. "What are you talking about? You know something" now it's loak's turn to answer. "Well, since you're my sister aka best friend, I'll tell you… Spider told me he had feelings for you. I told him to stay out of it. Because I know and we all know that you and neteyam are fucking everywhere" you roll your eyes while loak keeps talking. "he insisted… and he told me that he was happy for you, but that he still loved you and blah blah blah. I of course, am always by your side. So I told him he was an idiot and missed his chance." Loak finishes speaking, this one sitting up straight and with a goofy grin. "Thanks for being faithful, battle buddy," you say as you tap him on the back.

"you know… I don't want this to affect my friendship with spider, I love him. But… neteyam is the love of life" loak makes a disgusted face. "I don't know what you see….but if you say so. Look, then talk to spider and set the things clear, And that's it" loak strokes your hair. You go over to him and hug him. They stayed like that for a moment, until you felt the stares of your parents." Go tell those gossips, I lost a precious snail and that's it." You say to loak, "Understood, ma'am" loak stands up. You know it's true, you must go talk to spider. But that will be tomorrow.

Meanwhile on the beach, neteyam is walking straight towards spider. Spider waves to neteyam, until neteyam walks up and pushes him into the sand. "What the fuck is your problem with y/n?" neteyam asks him, while his taller figure looks up and threatens spider from above. "I don't know what you're talking about? What's wrong with you, bro?" spider stands up from the sand. "You know what I'm talking about, you and y/n. Why do you keep hurting her." Neteyam is noticeably pissed off, pupils dilated, breaths heavy and the fingers on his hand tightening with every second. "I didn't do anything to her. I was just talking to her." Spider defends himself. "Well stop talking to her." Neteyam said, as he moved closer to the boy's face. "you have to understand that she is mine now." Neteyam looks spider in the eyes, spider is not quick to be intimidated. "i know it's yours…but that doesn't take away my privilege to speak my opinion." Spider spat, neteyam was about to hit spider, he controlled himself because he knew it would be an unfair fight.

"Well you should swallow your options for yourself. Because the last opinion you're going to have will be your ass back in the shelter with the other humans." Said neteyam, as he turned around and walked to the marui. Spider stayed there in silence, like it or not neteyam was right, he didn't have any power over you. Besides, he didn't want to go back, he liked it here…after all you guys were the only family he had. He would miss you guys a lot, even neteyam, he knows neteyam threatened him because he was upset, but they were still friends. And he didn't want to walk away from Kiri, she was special to him.

Spider swallowed hard, and followed neteyam who was already farther away. When they reached Marui, everyone noticed the tension between the two men. Jake looked at loak, and loak made a face at his father that he didn't know what had happened. Meanwhile you were at neytiri's side, dinner was already served. "Come and eat, everyone. And take off those long faces," Neytiri scolded. Everyone sat down. Kiri sat next to spider. Loak on spider's left side. Tuk in the middle of jake and neytiri. And right in front of kiri and spider, there was you and neteyam. Neteyam settled close to you, and curled his tail around your waist, a very territorial action of omaticaya males. They used to do this to mark their female, as a mating signal, it was something like "she belongs to me". Neytiri noticed the action of her eldest son, and this confirmed to her that something was going on with you. Literally, neteyam was saying that you were a couple and to stay away from you. Jake looked quickly at neytiri, and she gave him a smile. They scoffed silently.

Spider was looking at neteyam serious, he saw how his tail curled more around your waist, how close you were to each other. How you and neteyam were sharing bits of food. He had to admit it bothered him, because he knew neteyam had won. Meanwhile the others at the table were enjoying the view, it was funny. Dinner was over, some of you were already going to rest, others were cleaning up. Neteyam came up to your ear. "Hey, let's go to our place, shall we?" you smile a little and nod your head. "Dad, y/n and I are going for a ride with the ikran. We'll come back later" said neteyam, while taking your hand and they go out of the marui, " watch out" said neytiri, looking at both of you. You say goodbye and leave.

"You have to get over it, you'll find someone else" said Kiri to Spider, these two were already settling in to go to sleep." I know, I should apologize to y/n tomorrow,” Spider speaks, as she settles down. “Your plan failed” Kiri mocks. Spider pushes Kiri around a bit, as the two settle down, ready to sleep.

Neteyam and you arrive at your place, you jump down from the ikran. "hey!!!, ¡Careful, you're going to hurt yourself" shouts neteyam, as he follows you. Careful, you're going to hurt yourself" shouts neteyam, as he follows you. You settle into your favorite spot, this place was beautiful. You could tell that no one was going to this place, there were bright plants and the little light that came in, so the atmosphere was perfect, quiet, cozy. Neteyam sat next to you, making you sit between his legs. "I talked to spider" said neteyam, turning to look at him. "I noticed, you guys looked annoyed". Neteyam bends down to leave several kisses on the back of your neck, he loved your scent, it was one of his favorite things. "I think he understood what I meant" neteyam speaks, between kisses. He was already kissing the side of your neck, tickling you. "Neteyam stop…". "but why?" he places his big hands on the sides of your body, lifting you up to turn you over. He lifts you up a little, and your face is right in front of his. "mmm what do you want my big boy?" you ask him as you cross your arms around his neck, neteyam moves his arms to your thighs causing you to place them around his waist, you were already sitting on top of him. "I want a kiss." You giggle a little and give him a small kiss. Neteyam moans, and you give him another. "another one." One kiss after another. "you know… you look beautiful today. I like this top you have on" neteyam points, as he slides his index finger from your chest slowly… across your breasts to your belly button. You take a deep breath… you were very faint to his touch. "I prepared it myself" you say as you watch him continue to move down, to where you needed him most." By yourself?" neteyam asks, " yes…by myself" you breathe, until you feel neteyam playing with the garter of your loincloth. "neteyam…" you moan, as you start to lift your hips, looking to release some tension. "mmm you have to take it easy, there is no rush" as he slides his hand slowly to your wetness. You move in for a kiss, neteyam already started playing with your center, as you moved your hips back and forth, trying to seek your release. "love, you are so wet…and we are just getting started" he kept moving his hand. "I need you so much…" Neteyam kissed your forehead, as he removed his hand, to lift you up and get you settled closer. You can already feel his growing bump. "me too y/n, me too." Neteyam says placing his free hand on your hips ,helping you to grind in his lap. The rest is history…

It was morning, you and neteyam had returned to the marui late at night. Neytiri saw when they arrived, how they were playing around. She even saw when you kissed before you lay down to sleep. She didn't want to say anything, until you two felt comfortable. Inside she felt something… she didn't want to interrupt in your relationship. She knew it was strange too, because of your physical naturalness. But also, she was not uncomfortable with the idea, because you could unite with him before eywa. She wanted to get this feeling off her chest. She knew how much you loved each other. She just hoped you knew what you were doing.

Neytiri stepped forward and began to lift tuk, and kiri. Spider got up a little at a time." Good morning…neytiri" he said shyly." Good morning spider" smiles neytiri, it was the first time she smiled at him. Jake was already up and on his way to where you and Neteyam were lying down. You are lying on spoons, neteyam's hand was literally hugging you completely. "ahhhh no respect anymore!!!" complains jake, " leave them alone." Neytiri scolded jake, "yeah, they were very very very very late" scoffed loak. Neytiri smiled a little, jake walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "The family is growing…don't you think so?" he whispers in her ear, neytiri blushes a little." Yes, but don't bother them. They will know when to tell us" she received another kiss from jake. She loved this man so much.

You started to get up, you took neteyam's hand and take it away from you as you sit down. "mmm it's too early, my head hurts" you complain a little, while wiping your eyes." Sure…with the things you must have done" loak says, you blush quickly and punch her on the arm." Leave her alone…. Why are you like this?" kiri scolds loak. "Where's mom and dad?" you ask." They went out with tuk for a walk" loak said, as he reached over to his brother to pick him up. "oh, I wanted to talk to mom." You say as you sit down next to kiri, "they'll be back soon I'm sure…y/n do you want me to fix your hair?" asks kiri, you settle towards her, kiri starts to arrange some pieces of your hair. Neteyam slowly got up, while loak kept bothering him. "let me your skxáwng" says neteyam, pushing loak. " hey, tell me where were you with y/n last night?" asks loak, to his brother, he was trying to speak softly so you wouldn't hear him." Come here…come closer…. I'm not going to tell you anything" neteyam yells a little to his brother, as he gets up to go to where you were with kiri. Loak gives him a dirty look and follows him.

Spider was quiet, settling some things. He wanted to apologize to you, he knew what he had said was out of line. But he didn't know how. Meanwhile neteyam sat in front of you, enjoying the view of watching her sister fix your hair. Love this view…loak was talking to you, kiri helping you. He feels grateful…he feels like he grew up with his future partner. "hey, ma neteyam…have some water" you offer him from your cup, he takes it and swallows some. Spider takes this moment to approach you. "hey, y/n we could talk in private" says spider, neteyam looks up." Well…when kiri is done. It's okay" you accept his invitation, after all you guys are like family. You hated being on bad terms with him. Neteyam looks at you and you give him a calming smile. "Come here, sit down skxáwng" said neteyam to spider while pulling his arm. Spider sat down, he felt comfortable again. Neteyam played with his hair, while loak and he started talking. It didn't take long, until kiri finished. "Spider… aren't we going?" you say to him, as you stand up. Spider follows you. "hey, remember not to take too long… we will prepare breakfast soon" said kiri, you told him that you will be home, in less than half an hour. You and spider walked to the shore. Neteyam watched you from afar as you walked away. "hey bro, relax… y/n is your girl" said loak to him. Neteyam looks at him and then catches him by the neck to throw him to the ground. "ahh get a hold of yourselves I'm trying to find something" the two brothers ignore kiri and continue to play around.

"How about we take a ride in my ilu, while we talk" you comment, spider saw that you were in a good mood. He agreed, since spider couldn't have an ilu, he got in with you on your ilu and they set off. You rode away beyond Reef. You weren't worried, you had been here many times before. "and well…" you begin to speak, spider settles back and takes a deep breath." I'm sorry… I was out of line, I shouldn't have had an opinion about you and neteyam's relationship. I know you are perfect for each other. I just feel…jealousy. Forgive me please" Spider looked down, he was waiting for you to turn him down. In return you gave him a big hug." I forgive you idiot. I…I can't change how you feel, but I appreciate you recognizing that you were wrong." You say as you and spider share a quality smile. After all…you were friends.

It doesn't take long, until spider notices a boat in the distance." What's that?" spider points, as you look off into the distance. And yes, it was a boat speeding towards you. You and spider panicked and started to swim with your ilu, as far away as possible. But it was almost impossible, your ilu was still too young to reach very fast speeds, and that boat was approaching fast." Come on, let's go!!!" shouted spider, he looked back and could see a recognizable figure. It was the same avatar from the forest, the one that had captured them several weeks ago. The boat got close enough to drift the two of you into the water. You couldn't see who they are, because I was so focused on guiding your ilu.

When you fell into the water, you saw your ilu spinning in the water… he had hit it. Spider was a bit far away from you. As you were about to reach for him, a large hand grabbed your braid pulling you to the surface. "ahhhh let me go" you cried out in pain, the braid was a very sensitive thing. When you made eye contact with the person who had dragged you into that boat. To your surprise it was one of the avatar soldiers from the forest and the famous intimidating man. "here's the girl miles!!!! We got her!" said Lyle as he sat you down on one of the seats in the boat, while tying you up with some kind of red handcuff." Well, well… we just caught a beautiful little mermaid. hello, gorgeous do you remember me?" Quaritch came up to your face, and grabbed your chin. You spit in his face. Quaritch straightens up and wipes his face." Mmm you're lucky I like that stuff" he looks at you with a mocking look. "ok, let's go…we got our prize, straight to base" Quaritch yells to one of his soldiers who was driving.

"Spider…SPIDER!!!" you shout, but it's already useless. You see how there is no one on the surface… your tears come out of your eyes. Quaritch makes eye contact with you, and wow…. You were beautiful.

p.s: This is getting good… I've already started part 6, but I'm exhausted. It's already 3:00 am here. I've had a lot of work lately, but I still hope you like this part. Let me know what you think. I hope to have part 6 ready by tomorrow. <3

Neytiri babies: @st4rrry @valeriinee @inutheangel @gielrmn @sloppierjewel @purple7theparty @itscheybaby @ssc7514 @namorslit @ducks118 @tpwkstiles @elli-aesthetics @nao-cchi @uselessbutinteresting @msjae @austynparksandpizza @gamorxa @andyyy4444 @itssomeonereading @meivap @barbii04 @mm-nope @dorck26 @nessrin @purple7theparty @ssc7514 @sloppierjewel @yeosxxx @legendleopard100 @pandoragalora @jayzes-blog @ducks118 @laylasbunbunny @kyriekurokami @heesoftiefreak @teamanime @d4rno @dumb-fawkin-bitch-bitch @burdeningbitch @allsouls-emma @aceofheartzzz @famousbagelhandspurse @fanficblogs @lilyofthetigers @mjnij

@cherrywinesab @sloppierjewel @bubbleguppy0315 @ellielovesrobinarellano @mrs-sullys-blog @lovekeeho @vectoriscommitingcrimes @kimtaehussy @bimbotinkerbell  @aceofheartzzz @d4rno @3okutos-3ig-toe

If there is any problem with the tags, let me know. I have had many people asking me to be on the tag list, if you are not on the list yet you can send me a message.

[and-claudia]

Against All Odds pt. 12 (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that’s not your jam, I’m sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won’t actually be in it for a bit

warnings for this part: mentions of suicide, mentions of coming out (it's not all super heavy, I promise!!)

ALSO!!! I am making a decision that kinda contradicts an earlier part... I am adding this note so you know, earlier I was going off Joel's age based off the show, I am now changing it to be his age in the game just to make a few things work a little better... SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION!!!!!!!

word count: 2800+

Taglist Sign-Up (read my rules carefully before filling it out)

gif not mine

Ellie’s PoV 

Once I was sure Yn was out of earshot, I turned to Joel. 

“I want to talk about what happens after we find your brother in Wyoming.” I said seriously. 

He gave me a weird look, “Okay…” 

I took a deep breath before starting, “What’s your plan for me once we get there?” 

“Well… Marleen didn’t exactly give us the address of where you were going. So I was gonna ask Tommy if he knew where those Fireflies might be. Get you there… then… I don’t know. Timeline really depends on how long we’re out here, how close Yn is to havin’ the baby.” He explained. 

I nodded and was quiet for a moment. 

“What if I don’t want to go to Fireflies…” I asked quietly. 

“Do you not want to?” Joel asked. 

I took a deep breath, “I don’t know…I didn’t want to tell Yn because I don’t want it to stress her out in any way since she’s already pregnant… but I don’t think I want to find the Fireflies anymore…” I watched him to gauge his reaction, but he gave none, “It’s just… I’ve been told I am special, that I am the key to the cure… but I don’t think I am… not anymore. I tried to save Sam… it didn’t work. If I can’t save one person, how am I expected to save thousands?” 

I paused. 

“And I know this sounds selfish, and I know I am not anything really to either of you, but I don’t want to leave you two behind… you three behind. I want to be here when Yn has the baby and watch it grow into a tiny person.” 

I looked at him, trying to fight the tears brimming in my eyes. All I could do was give a small nod. 

“That’s not selfish, Ellie. It’s human.” Joel said after a moment, “Yn and I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. And you don’t have to decide anything right now. Trust me, we will have plenty of time before now and Wyoming for you to think and make up your mind.” 

I nodded before whispering, “Thank you, Joel. For everything.” 

He only nodded back, “Go get some rest. I’ll nudge you in a couple of hours to take a watch shift.” he said, nodding off to where Yn had fallen asleep against a tree. 

I nodded and stood up. My mind was still reeling with what the hell I wanted to do. But Joel was right, nothing needed to be decided tonight. We were still far away from Wyoming, I would have plenty of time to decide by then… right? 

Yn’s PoV

The following days were fairly uneventful. We walked for hours on end and would rest at night. The sun was setting on our fifth day of straight walking. To say that my feet hurt would be a severe understatement. Joel had said something to me the other day about how I should start showing here soon since I was around 15 weeks now, but currently, the only getting bigger were my feet. I tried not to say anything, though, because I knew their feet must be getting sore, too. But every step we took sent a jolt of pain up my leg. 

“Shouldn’t we stop soon?” I asked. 

“Eh, the sun’s just now starting to set. We can probably go another hour.” Joel said.

He was a few paces ahead of me when he said it, so he couldn’t see the sour face I made… but Ellie did. 

“You okay?” She asked quietly. 

“Hm? Yeah, fine.” I said. 

She nodded before speeding up to be in step with Joel. 

“Damn it, Ellie.” I mumbled to myself as I watched her talk to Joel. 

They both stopped walking, which allowed me to catch up with them. 

“On second thought, let's just stop for the night. This is a decent clearing. There’s a creek nearby to get some water from. We can stay here for the night.” He said. 

“Joel, I’m fine. Let’s go another hour, then stop. It’ll let us get another mile or so under our belt.” I said. 

He said nothing but glanced down to where I had undone my boots earlier. They were completely undone to where they would come off, but they were clearly loosened. 

“Why’re your boots undone?” He asked, standing with his hands on his hips. 

“Forgot to relace them… pregnancy brain. Let’s go. We’re losing daylight.” I said. 

“Nope, sit.” He nodded to a large rock beside a tree. 

I sighed and did as he said. He followed me over and squatted down in front of me. Once I was sitting, he began undoing my boots. I winced slightly as he pulled the first one off. 

“M’sorry.” He said, grabbing the second one and sliding it off gently. 

“How long have they been like this?” He asked. 

“Started about halfway through the day yesterday. I didn’t want to say anything and slow us down.” I explained. 

“You need to speak up when you’re in pain. We’re not traveling tomorrow. We’ll take a day to rest.” He said. 

“No, I don’t want to slow us down.” I tried to argue. 

“Not resting will slow us down even more. Tomorrow, I want you on your feet as little as possible, okay?” He said. 

I nodded, “Can you go fill my water for me?” I asked, leaning over to grab it out of my pack that I had dropped beside me. 

“Yeah. Ellie, give me your water, I’ll go fill them. When I get back, I’ll set a trap to try and get us some dinner.” Joel said, standing up and walking over to her. 

Once he was gone, Ellie came over and sat down beside me on the ground. 

“You didn’t have to say anything to Joel, you know.” I said. 

I wasn’t actually mad at her in any way; I was more just frustrated with myself for being the reason why we were taking a break. Deep down, I knew it was out of my control, but it still didn’t help make me feel any better about it. 

“I know. But I also know you weren’t going to. Plus, I could tell you were in pain.” She said. 

“Thank you… sorry that I’m slowing us down.” I said. 

“Eh, it’s not your fault, it’s the rugrat’s.” She said, making me smile. 

“I guess you’re right. I just want to make sure we can get you to the Fireflies as soon as possible. I don’t know if they’re on a timeline or something.” I explained.

I noticed that she stiffened up slightly at the mention of the Fireflies. 

She let out a nervous laugh, “About that… I talked to Joel a few nights ago… I am having second thoughts on finding them.” She said, looking at me clearly trying to watch for my reaction. 

“Okay… any particular reason why?” I asked. 

“I am not certain that I am the cure… I just don’t know if it’s worth leaving you and Joel… and the baby for something that’s not a guarantee. And I know I at least want to stay with you until the baby gets here… but then thinking about leaving after that doesn’t feel right either. I just don’t know what to do. I told Joel that part of me feels guilty for even considering staying because I could be potentially saving thousands… but I may not even be the cure.” 

“That’s a decision only you can make, Ellie. But it doesn’t have to be soon. We’ll have plenty of time before we even get to Wyoming. Only you know what is best for you… I will say that I would love to have you here when I have the baby. I want them to meet you for sure. But if and when the time comes that you decide to go find the Fireflies, I won’t hold you back. I’ll support you in any decision you make. Come here.” I said, scooting over to make room for her on the rock. 

She got up and sat beside me. I hugged her to my side. 

“Thank you.” She said. 

I only nodded. 

“You know, you’re pretty good at the whole mom thing.” She said suddenly, making me look at her. 

“What?” 

“I don’t know… you just have something that makes me feel like I can share anything with you… like I don’t have to hide anything.” She explained. 

“Well, I’m glad. And you really can tell me anything.” I said.

“Okay, well… do you remember how y’all mentioned a boyfriend when asking if anyone would come looking for me?” 

“Yeah.” I nodded for her to continue. 

“Well, truth is, I’ve never had a boyfriend… and I honestly don’t see myself ever having a boyfriend. If you know what I mean…” She said, glancing over at me. 

“I get what you mean.” I said, smiling and nodding. 

“You’re okay with that?” She asked, almost shocked. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? You’re not the first gay person I’ve met.” I said with a small laugh. 

She nodded as she let out a breath, “Do you think Joel will be okay with it?” She asked. 

“Oh yeah.” 

“Really, even at his age?” She asked, making us both laugh. 

“What’s so funny?” Joel asked as he walked back up with our water canteens filled. 

“Nothing.” Ellie said. 

“Okay…” He said, clearly not convinced, “I am going to go try and trap something for dinner.” 

He collected some supplies before heading off once again. 

“So… if there wasn’t a boyfriend, has there ever been a girlfriend? Sorry if that’s too personal, just curious about your life before all of this.” 

She hesitated, and I was scared that I had crossed the line. But then she began to speak. 

“I don’t know if I would call her a girlfriend… but there was a girl I liked… Riley.” 

The way she said told me everything I needed to know at that moment. Riley was dead, and she clearly wasn’t over it yet. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” I shook my head, “You don’t have to talk about if you’re not ready. I get it. I lost the last of my brothers years ago, and I still don’t like talking about it. It’s okay.” I said, hugging her close once again. 

“I miss her… does that ever go away?” She asked. 

I shook my head sadly, “No… it gets easier. Eventually, you get to where you don’t even think about it anymore until something reminds you of them, then hurts again, not as bad as it originally did, but still hurts. Then again, you eventually stop thinking about it until you get reminded again. It hurts, but it's even less than last time. And it continues. It always hurts just a little bit.” I explained the best I could. 

She nodded. 

“Whatever happened though, it wasn’t your fault… and neither was Sam.” She snapped her head to look at me, “I don’t know what happened with you and him, but Joel mentioned you tried to save him, and it didn’t work… that’s not your fault. I know it’s hard, but don’t blame yourself. And trust me, I know that’s easier said than done. Hell, it’s been over ten years, and I still blame myself for my brother’s death…” 

“What happened?” She asked. 

“He hung himself… I am the one who found him. He had just done it. I tried to cut him down. I just wasn’t fast enough… My father blamed me for it until the day he died… and I still carry that with me. Like I said, the pain never fully goes away…” 

“How old were you?” She asked. 

“Doesn’t matter… no one should have to experience that… I was younger than you were.” I said, staring off. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t pry.” She said. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll share more about my brothers later if you want. Some of the better memories.” I offered, and she smiled. 

“I’d like that. I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to have siblings, even just one.” She said. 

I couldn’t help but think about how if she chose to stay, then she would definitely be getting one. Although I wasn’t much older than her, just around ten years, I could see her becoming like a daughter to me. And I had a feeling the same was happening to Joel. 

small time jump

Within the next three days, we finally found ourselves entering Nebraska. We hadn’t gotten the chance to clean up in a while because the creekbeds were too low, so when Joel informed us of a creek that was deep enough to rinse off in, I was overjoyed. 

“You two go ahead and go. I’ll try to trap a rabbit or something.” Ellie said, nodding us off towards the creek. 

Joel had recently shown her how to trap things, and she actually gotten pretty good in the couple of days she’s been practicing. 

As we walked, I turned to Joel, “As much as I love you, I have only one thing on my mind, and that is to scrub the grime off of me and go sit down and get off my feet.” I said, making my intentions clear. 

“Got it. Give me your clothes, and I’ll rinse them with mine.” He said as we got to the creek. 

I nodded as I slipped my boots off and then peeled my socks off of my feet. The ground beneath me was cool to the touch and felt like heaven against my swollen feet. I finished getting undressed, tossing my clothes over to Joel, and soon I was in the cool water. 

As great as it felt, I was soon getting out and getting my “clean” clothes from Joel. Once again, I was forgoing putting my bra back on for the night and was just about to pull my shirt over my head when Joel stopped me. 

“Hey, wait, turn back around.” He called out to me. 

I turned to face him, “What?” I asked, confused. 

“Just turn to the side again…” He said, staring at me intently. 

“What?” 

“Just do it, please.” He wasn’t being pushy. Instead, he seemed oddly curious. 

I did it and looked at him expectantly. 

“When did that show up?” He asked, in slight awe. 

“What?” I asked, confused. 

“That.” He emphasized, nodding to my stomach. 

“Joel, it’s nothing. I’m just a little bloated. I don’t think it’s what you think it is.” I said. 

“I don’t think so… no offense, but we haven’t really eaten anything that would be making you bloated. I think you’re starting to show.” 

I honestly hadn’t really considered that as a possibility. My mind just jumped to it being bloated. 

“Really?” I asked, looking down, it was just barely there, but there was definitely a small bump forming. 

“I mean, I’m no doctor, but that’s what it looks like to me. Here, come sit while I rinse off, and we can talk about it more afterward, okay? I’ll be quick.” He promised, standing up and beginning to undress. 

Once he was done, he rinsed our old clothes, and we began walking back to our camp. Ellie had managed to catch two squirrels that Joel quickly prepared and began cooking. Then he came and sat by me. 

“Sorry if I made you self-conscious or anything… I just wasn’t really prepared for this part of all of it.” He explained. 

“Were you not…” I trailed off, knowing that his daughter was a touchy subject for him. 

He shook his head, “No, her mom and I were like an on-again-off-again type of thing. Then, at some point, we were off again for a while, and then she showed up at my door out of nowhere with a baby. She was gone the next morning. So, I am a little inexperienced in this part of things… I do vaguely remember my mom being pregnant with Tommy, but that’s about it.” He said with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood from when he started talking. 

“Well, you got more than I do. I was the youngest, so…” I said, and he nodded. 

“Also, you really remember your mom being pregnant with Tommy… that was so long ago…” I teased. 

“I am only 52. I’m not that old, you know.” He shot back, nudging me with his shoulder. 

“I know, I just like giving you shit.” I said, looking over at him with a smile. 

“You’re lucky I love you. You know that, right?” He said. 

“Yeah, I know. I love you too.” I said, leaning over to kiss him. 

“You better not be letting those squirrels burn.” Ellie’s voice made me jump slightly. 

“They’re not.” Joel said, rolling his eyes, though he wasn’t really upset. 

He finished cooking them before dividing up the small amount of meat from them to all of us. After we ate, we settled in for the night. We had one more day of traveling before we would rest for a day. It was slow progress, but it would work. I knew the cold would set in soon, and the cool breeze that blew through the trees just as the thought crossed my mind only confirmed that. 

taglist:

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[lily-fics-11]

The Girl Next Door: Chapter 8 (Hazel Callahan, Bottoms)

Fic master post here

Tag list: @avocifera @academiareid @fictionalgap @dynsdiary @sndixz @athenalive @lamoobsessions @eloud12 @whoopsiedaisy460 @kittenchae

(feel free to comment to be added to taglist)

------------------------------------------------------------------

The Girl Next Door

You hadn't been close with your neighbor Hazel for years. But you find her beat up in the locker room after fight club and all of that changes

Chapter 8

Synopsis: After resolving some miscommunication, things heat up with Hazel. Also between Jeff and Mrs. Callahan, and of course the bomb that gets planted under Jeff’s car.

Word count: 4k

CW: Profanities, mentions of cheating, heated making out, mentioning being turned on, one use of the word binge but not in reference to ed, a bomb and explosion

*Not beta read

@reiisstuff asked about seeing things from Hazel’s POV so I tried it out a little bit in this chapter, not sure if it went well or not (writing like this without a name is really hard lol) so let me know what you think :)

Hazel walks you to your front door and gives you a hug. With her arms still wrapped around your waist she pulls the upper part of her body away from yours to take a good look at your face. Her eyes wander over you dreamily until they stop on your lips. As she leans in you close your eyes, only for her to press her soft lips to your cheek. 

You open your eyes, feeling disappointed that Hazel hadn’t just kissed you right on the lips. She sees that on your face and looks terrified. She lets go of you and stumbles backwards.

“I gotta go,” she stammers and she takes off before you can explain yourself. 

Fuck. Fuck! FUCK! You really ruined things, didn’t you.

Pulse racing, you take some deep breaths and run a hand through your hair. Wanting to go after her is being weighed against not wanting to push her to talk before she is ready. You will reach out in an hour or so to see if she is up for it. 

Tears threaten to well up in your eyes. Hazel is hurt, and it’s your fault. Hazel ran away, and she may never come back. You push through the front door to avoid talking to your mom.

You go up to your room and flop down on your bed. You wipe the tears from your eyes and FaceTime Brittany, you know from the snap map that her and Isabelle are together. 

“Heyyyyyy bitch!” Brittany says when she picks up the phone. After she gets a good look at you her face drops. “Oh my god are you like, okay?”

“I thought you had your date with Hazel?” Isabelle asks in a more soothing tone. 

“I did. And it actually was a date. And it went so well. And then she kissed me…” the two of them audibly gasp. “But on the cheek, and she saw that I was disappointed and got upset. But I was only disappointed because I wanted her to actually kiss me.”

Brittany is the first to grill you for more details. “Did you tell her that?”

“No she ran off, I didn’t get the chance to.” 

“Oh noooo,” Brittany groans.

“You gotta talk to her!” Isabelle demands with urgency.

“I don't want to push her to talk if she's not ready.”

“Just, just, just… send her a text!” Brittany stutters before pulling herself together and suggesting that you say you want to talk, whenever it works for her.

You open up your messages with Hazel to type out a text. Before sending it you read it outloud so it can be approved by the council: I wanted to let you know that I had a great time tonight, I would love to talk about it whenever you get the chance.

“That sounds good,” Isabelle promises you.

You press send then throw the phone to the side and your friends question why they can’t see you anymore.

“Sorry guys, I'm just nervous.” You sigh without actually picking up your phone.

“It’s just Hazel,” Brittany tries to reason with you, “you guys have had like, way bigger drama than this before. And figured it out. Everything is going to be ok.”

You aimlessly play with your hair. “I hope you’re right.”

“Hazel isn’t like your ex,” Isabelle’s voice is soft and tender. She is the best at comforting people with her loving demeanor and understanding of emotions. “She’s not going to gaslight and blame you for everything.”

All you can do is echo her words. “Hazel isn’t like that.”

“Let’s keep you distracted while we wait for her to answer,” Brittany suggests. You and your best friends start to debrief about the latest episode of a show that you all watch. In the middle of the conversation your phone buzzes and you scream.

“Oh my god are you ok?” Brittany shouts.

“My phone buzzed,” you answer shyly, a little embarrassed by what may have been a slight overreaction. 

“Is it her?” Isabelle asks without acknowledging that you screamed like you were being stabbed.

You look at the notification and scream again. 

“I’m guessing it was her?” Isabelle chuckles, though she tries to muffle it.

You roll your eyes and get as close to a smile as you can under these circumstances. “How’d you know?” That elicits some giggles. “What do I do?”

“I would probs read it,” Brittany suggests teasingly, “but that’s just me.”

“That’s def better than screaming,” Isabelle nods in agreement.

You read the message out loud: having a bit of a rough night, stuff with my mom. If you still want to drive to the car wash together tomorrow we could talk then?

“TOMORROW? I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW?”

Brittany promises that her and Isabelle will be over to pick you up as soon as possible. They spend the night keeping you sane.

------------------------------------------------------------------

You wake up an hour before your alarm after falling in and out of sleep all night. 

You are out on your front porch about a half hour early. Hazel comes outside just a few minutes after. Approaching tentatively, she takes a seat next to you, not too close, but also not too far. 

Hazel is the one to break the ice. “I’m really sorry about yesterday.”

“There is nothing to be sorry for,” you promise her.

Her palm meets her forehead and she mumbles “you didn’t want to be kissed.”

“That’s not it.”

“Then what was it?”

“I just wanted…” you bite your lip for a moment, in disbelief that you are really saying this to her, “more.”

“More? What does ‘more’ mean?” Hazel questions with her head tilted to the side like a curious puppy.

You nervously play with your hair. “I wanted you to actually kiss me, on the lips. I shouldn’t have reacted the way that I did, I should have been more respectful of your boundaries.”

Hazel slides closer to you. “Believe me, I wanted to kiss you. I’ve been dying to, barely even able to stop myself any time we make eye contact. But I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”

You giggle as you grab the girl you love by her shirt and pull her close. When her lips finally meet yours, after years of waiting, the kiss exceeds your expectations by miles. You expected sparks, but this is fireworks. Beautiful, brightly colored, and explosive. 

One of Hazel’s hands holds your face, her other arm wrapping around your waist. You keep her close to you, still by her shirt, but also the back of her neck. The two of you get lost in eachother, savoring the taste, binging like it’s your last meal. 

Hazel pulls you onto her lap, your legs straddling her waist. Your lips move together, you breathe at the same pace, your tongues explore each other's mouth. The world has stopped around you until you hear someone call “Hazel?”

The two of you disconnect to see Mrs. Callahan is laughing.

“Finally!” She yells. You and Hazel look at eachother with bulging eyes and red faces from the heat of the moment, along with the embarrassment.

“We were actually just leaving,” Hazel tells her mom, voice strained. She grabs your hand and pulls you to the car, practically running, to avoid having to talk to her mom. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hazel’s POV

My… not girlfriend and I arrive at the school parking lot early. We make our predictions about what we think everyone will be doing at the car wash. Isabelle already told everyone that she is going to be selling used panties to any weird old men that show up, she knows as a cheerleader that they love having their cars washed by teenage girls. Then there is PJ, who will be bitching about something while Josie tries to reason with her. Stella will put on her car convention smile.

I am absolutely exhausted, so when everyone trickles in and gets to work I sit down in the middle of the parking lot. My adorably supportive neighbor sits with me. PJ and Josie stand close by, unsurprisingly chatting instead of helping.

The ears of the cute girl sitting next to me perk up when Josie mentions that she is hanging out with Isabelle tonight. Isabelle and Josie in the same sentence is unusual, but I don’t have it in me to pay any attention.

I am so worn out that I groan in frustration. PJ’s head snaps around to look at me. “Hazel, what is wrong? Are you constipated or something?” She is clearly not asking because she is concerned, but because she is annoyed. 

“I’m fucking tired, my mom was up all night fucking the meathead.”

“What meathead?” PJ looks a little intrigued. I think it should be obvious that I’m talking about that one specific dude. He is THE meathead, leader of all the other meat heads. Josie notices PJ paying attention so she does too.

“You know, like, the guy.” No reaction. “He’s like the crybaby,” I look around at the three girls and they are still not getting it. “With balls,” I offer up but get nothing but blank stares in return. “He catches them and he… he throws them.” I’m trying to explain the sport that he and all those other guys with matching outfits and shoulder pads play, but it didn't help. “He’s like…” I pause for a moment to find the right words, “the main guy.” I can see the moment they catch on in their facial expressions.

“J-Jeff?” Josie stutters. “Is your mom hooking up with Jeff?”

“I just thought Jeff might be a safe word,” I admit sheepishly, I never made the connection. 

“Jeff is his name, you idiot!” PJ barks at me. My girlfriend, I mean best friend, almost jumps up at PJ but I put out my arm to stop her. I know she is glaring right now without even looking over, but I don’t like confrontation.

“I just get all the hot people confused, Jesus” I mumble. They all wear the same clothes, how am I supposed to tell them apart? 

We hear a yelp and all four of us look over in its direction to see what happened. Stella is on the ground, but she pops right back up and calls out “I’m good!”

“Looking good Stella!” PJ assures her before looking back and forth between my neighbor and Josie. “Are you gonna tell her?”

“Well she should probably hear it in person,” the beautiful girl next to me murmurs gloomily.

Josie sighs and bites her lip. “I’m going to see her tonight, I can tell her. It might be easier to hear it from someone less involved.”

Everyone nods their heads in defeated agreement. Josie and PJ go back to talking to each other. I lean over, not just because I want to get as close to this girl as I can get, but to say “I swear I was going to tell you about Jeff as soon as I got the chance. I was just distracted this morning.”

“Don’t worry about it Haze,” I’m assured with a sweet smile, “I was distracted too. Even though this will hurt Isabelle she's been through this before, and she might actually leave Jeff this time. And she is so much better off without him. I’m worried about you too. You’re mom fucking around with Jeff… I can’t even imagine how that makes you feel. And the fact that they did it all night and you had to hear it? Fucking disgusting. You are staying with me until everything gets sorted out.”

I look away from her when I tell her that I don't want to be a burden.

She puts her arm around me, and turns my face towards her with her soft hand. That earns a side eye from Josie and PJ. “Hazel, you could never be a burden to me.” I momentarily get lost in her honest eyes before I wrap my arms around her to give her a hug. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” I admit with tears in my eyes. “I don’t know how I did it all these years.”

“I’m always going to be here. You don’t ever have to be alone again.”

After the car wash we drive home and I quietly go into my house to grab the essentials. Toothbrush, charger, school bag to get work done, that sort of thing. Just enough clothing that I can wear what I need of my own, and steal the rest like the love of my life is actually my girlfriend. 

After arriving next door we had lunch with her mom. With a push from the beautiful girl I finally got to kiss today, I explained everything going on at home. Having always been like a second mom to me it was so nice to have a maternal figure there to listen and reassure me. That really takes my feelings into consideration. 

When we are done eating and debriefing, me and my not girlfriend go upstairs to her room. 

I want her to be my girlfriend, of course. More than anything else, if I'm being honest. But I guess right now she is just my girl. At least I think so.

My girl gets comfortable in bed and I lay down with my head in her lap. She twirls her fingers through my hair and I get lost in her eyes the way I always do, entranced by her smile, basking in her presence. 

When she leans down and kisses me her lips absorb every thought out of my head aside from her. At first she is gentle, but soon enough I’m tasting her tongue. I breathe in her familiar scent and it’s intoxicating. She has flooded all of my senses and it’s a high that undoubtedly, no drug could ever match. 

She pulls away dazed, lips puffy, cheeks adorably pink. I sit up and climb over her to straddle her waist. I lean her back against the pillows and she licks her lips, watching me with starry eyes. 

I take a moment to admire her beauty, like I’m assessing a priceless work of art. 

“What?” She questions with a giggle that is basically a siren song to me..

I lean in and whisper “I just can’t get enough of you,” and she shudders from the feeling of my warm breath on her neck. I shift to hover over her face and she grabs me by the back of my neck to roughly kiss me. Her other hand tangles into my hair. 

We move in sync like our lips were made to be connected. She bites my bottom lip and I moan into her mouth. We start so eager, overcome with desire. It only continues to grow until we are both winded from having been breathing in one another instead of air. 

“I don’t want to move too fast,” I admit, trying not to pant. 

“Me neither, I want to savor every moment.”

I kiss my girl’s forehead and roll over next to her, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her as close to me as possible.

We start binge watching a show together and I couldn’t ask for anything more in this moment. 

After dinner with her mom, the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen takes me outside to make s'mores, like we always used to. She knows it’s my favorite so she came up with the idea while trying to figure out ways to cheer me up. More kissing would have worked, but her thinking that much about it melts my heart. 

While we are snuggled up by the fire, the stars light up the sky, and the Crickets are chirping. 

That is until a phone pings, I thought it was mine at first but it wasn’t. Isabelle has texted the council saying “Jeff cheated again. Come to my place tomorrow at noon.”

The replies she receives are full of heart emojis, I loves you’s, and reminders that she is a baddie. 

When the phone gets locked I see a teary eyed reflection on the dark screen. I look over at the prettiest crying I have ever seen. “I just hate seeing her go through this again. She deserves so much better.”

I wipe some of the tears off her face and try to look on the bright side. “Maybe she will be done with him now.”

“I hope so,” she sighs.

As it starts to get late we get ready for bed and watch a sappy rom com. I get comfortable and she lays in my arms, holding me back just as tightly. She nuzzles her head into the crook of my neck. 

My beautiful girl falls asleep halfway through the movie so I kiss her forehead and close my eyes. I don’t fall asleep right away, I just live in this moment that I have been dreaming of for years.

We wake up tangled together and share soft sweet kisses before we realize just how hungry we are. We make pancakes for breakfast and make a huge mess in the kitchen. After cleaning up we part ways, her for Isabelle’s house and me for home. Hesitantly, I open the front door and am very relieved to not hear any suspicious noises.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

You and Britany spend your Sunday curating the perfect revenge outfit for Isabelle, formulating a battle plan, and hyping her up. 

Isabelle is heated all of Monday morning as she preps herself to confront Jeff. She wants to do it at lunch, so everyone can see. Embarrass him the way he embarrasses her whenever he cheats. 

We have one last check in before Isabelle storms into the cafeteria towards the football table. Anyone or anything in her way gets pushed aside, capturing everyone’s attention. Her high heels clicking on the floor is the only sound to be heard, everyone has gone silent. The whole school watches her on her warpath, in awe. 

You and Brittany stay behind, but Hazel follows along as the eye witness. You can’t really hear what is being said until Jeff points at Hazel and yells “shut up nerd! I fucked your mom!”

Moments later Isabelle pivots back around and struts towards you and the rest of the girls in fight club. “I’m getting revenge,” she announces. “I’m gonna fuck up some football players and I’m buying a gun.”

A few girls throw out more ideas as you all follow Isabelle out of the cafeteria. Hazel, who is trailing behind, suggests “or what about, like… a bomb?”

Everyone stops dead in their tracks, too shocked to speak. Hazel continues oblivious to everyone’s shock. “Like a, like a super small bomb. I mean, they are really easy to make, and I can just… put it under his car, and it can be a distraction.” You're suddenly reminded of a suspiciously bomb-like device you had seen in Hazel’s room.

PJ is the only one able to put enough together words to reply. “Yeah Hazel, let’s do terrorism.” Hazel gives her a small nod of approval. 

The members of the fight club begin to disperse. Hazel puts her arm around your shoulders and asks “would you want to work on a project with me tonight, before the whole revenge thing?”

You start to panic because you have no idea what project she is talking about. “Wait for which class? When is it due? I don’t even remember being assigned a project!” Everything going on with Hazel must really be messing with your brain.

“Oh no, not a school project. Something more…” She pauses to scratch the back of her head and find the right word. “... recreational.”

“Haze, what does that even mean?”

“The bomb…” she says nonchalantly, looking particularly mischievous.

Your wide eyes stare into hers. “You aren’t actually going to make a bomb, are you?”

Hazel flashes an enchanting smile that you can’t resist. “Does Jeff not deserve it?”

“Fuck it, let's make a bomb.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After school you and Hazel build a fucking bomb. Just in her room, like it's completely normal. You never expected to be in this situation but watching her wielding this power kind of turns you on.

The bomb is rather simple to make, and Hazel already has all the supplies. Questioning that isn't even worth it at this point. You help out by holding wires and passing over tools. She is so hyper fixated, and you are slightly afraid of an explosion, so you don’t talk any more than necessary during the process. 

After sundown the fight club meets up at Annie’s house, she has a van that could (technically) fit everyone. She drives, Brittany calls shotgun, and everyone else crams into the back. You are the last one to get in so you aren’t even sure you will fit. The entire volume is practically occupied.

“Uh…” Josie says looking around for a solution. Her eyes land on your neighbor and she smirks, “you can just sit on Hazel’s lap, right?”

“Oh. Yeah. That’s fine.” You hear a few giggles and whispers, none of which are coming from PJ, who is giving you a death glare out of the corner of her eye. Hazel wraps her arms around your waist to keep you from falling over and rests her chin on her shoulder. All while looking over at PJ, to tell her to fuck off without actually saying it. You can’t tell whether it is you or Hazel that PJ is jealous of. 

The fight club spills out of the van and disperses to start their assigned tasks. You will be assisting Hazel with putting the bomb under Jeff’s car. She slides under like a mechanic and gets to work while you hold a box of tools. You become increasingly more anxious as time passes. Hazel had made it seem like it wouldn’t take too long when explaining the plan, and you can hear her cursing under her breath. You can’t help but imagine getting blown to pieces in front of Jeff’s house, but your undying love for Hazel keeps you by her side. 

“Like fifteen minutes…” Hazel says to herself before you hear a ticking that sounds dangerously like a countdown to an explosion like you hear on tv. Is this thing about to blow? Right now?

You fears are confirmed when Hazel starts yelling “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!” as she scrambles out from under the car. She grabs your hand and drags you to start running with her. You hear a large boom behind you. You are flooded with the warmth of the heat being radiated  by the blazing fire. Looking back to see the burning car makes you feel like an actress in an action movie. A romantic comedy had always been desired with Hazel, but a little action doesn’t hurt. Anyone but Jeff’s car, that is.

Everyone piles into the van; you end up on Hazel’s lap again (even though you didn’t have to). Everyone cheers as Josie slams on the gas pedal, driving dangerously over the speed limit.

[otherone12]

Let's Be Alone Together

(FOB reference, 'cause couldn't think of anythig else)

Frank Iero x Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! I took really long to finisn this one, 'cause i needed to do the most complex a could… i was going to write it ‘bout Gerard, but I always write about him (yep, i'm kinda obsessed). Wel, I changed to Frank ‘cause I thought it would be nice. I know you don't read the fics I write about other members (who aren't Gerard) that much, but still... Hope u like it <3

(If u have some suggestion, idea, or request, just drop it! )

Summary: Your dad is one of the members of MCR staff, so you went to the reunion tour with them. You alwas has a crush on Frank, but you didn't expected that he would fall for you.

- Word Count: 4.850

- Warnings: Big age gap (legal but big), afab SMUT (a little scene, not big deal).

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1s Person POV

I've always been a big fan of My Chemical Romance, but unfortunately my father never took me to see them live, so this Reunion Tour will be my first time not only seeing them, but meeting the members of my favorite band.

Obviously, the moment my dad phoned me to ask if I'd like to accompany him, I was extremely excited and could hardly hold back, but I also couldn't help being nervous, considering my absurd crush on Frank.

What if I said something wrong? Something embarrassing? What if I fainted in front of him? What if I blushed too much, making it obvious that he had always been a weak point during my teenage years?

Putting my anxious thoughts aside, I went to pack my bags, as I don't like to leave things to the last minute, especially when it comes to something so important.

*** time skip ***

Finally, the day I'd been waiting for arrived. My father came to my apartment to pick me up and we went to the place where we boarded the production bus.

- Are you ready? - He asked me, while I put my things in the trunk.

- Fucking ready! - I said, and my dad chuckled, knowing that it was a MCR reference.

We got in the car and he drove us for the not too long way through the bus.

- Well, there are some things you have to know before we arrive.

- I’m all ears.

- First of all, they’re really nice, but don’t be annoying, ‘cause they’re working.

At no point did he take his eyes off the road, but I'm sure he knew exactly what my facial expression was, and he let out a chuckle.  

- I’m not annoying at all! - I protested, more in a joking tone than in protest in fact.

- I know, but fans can be a bit, so I have to warn you. - a chuckle escaped from his mouth - Another thing is that I want you to help me tidy up the equipment.

- Sure! But you’ll have to teach me how to do it. - I warned.

- Don't worry, I will!

It wasn't long before we arrived at the tour bus location. Anxiety took over me, after all I was about to meet the guys who saved my life, as well as the guy who was my teenage crush. I spent so much time waiting to meet them that it doesn't even seem real.

Soon, the four of them got off their bus, which was next to the one we were loading.

- Hey, guys! I want you to meet my kid. - my dad said, pushing me forward.

I couldn't help but let out an awkward smile. Of course I was embarrassed of my dad doing this kind of thing, but I was definitely more excited.

- Hi! - Mikey said, shaking my hand with a smile - I heard you’re a huge fan of My Chem.

- Yeah! You guys are my favorite band ever.

- Nice to finally meet you! - Gerard says, with a cute smile on his face and approaching to give me a hug .- Your dad talks a lot about you.

I panicked. Did dad mention Frank? I've never been discreet about my feelings for him. But I think he couldn't... Could he?

- Only good things, i hope - i chuckled

- Of course, and in the kindest way possible - Ray laughed a bit, giving me a hug, and, damn his arms are really strong.

Getting out of Ray’s arms, I saw Frank getting close to me and I started to shake, remembering all the edits I had of him on my phone when I was a teenager, it was only a couple years ago, so probably if I look I'll find some.

- I think it’s my turn to say ‘hi’ - He chuckled and hugged me. - How are you?

- I-i'm fine.

When his eyes met mine, I blushed, and quickly looked away, hoping it wouldn't be obvious.

Well, after the moment that was awkward for me, but normal for the others (I hope) my dad and I put our things on the bus, and he started to show me where I could find the equipment stuff.

After stowing my things and getting a quick rundown of the equipment area from my dad, I wander back toward the front of the bus. The band had already dispersed, Gerard and Mikey were outside chatting, Ray was setting up something technical near the sound system, and Frank… Well, Frank had disappeared somewhere.

Feeling a little overwhelmed, I decided to step outside for a breath of fresh air. As I rounded the corner of the bus, I spotted Frank, sitting on the back steps with a cigarette between his fingers, his face relaxed as he watched the sun dip below the horizon.

He notices me immediately.

- Hey! - He said, and I turned my attention to him, making my way towards Frank - You okay?

I soon stopped next to him, and he shifted on the step, giving me room to sit next to him, and I did so, a little shyly and awkwardly, after all it was THE Frank Iero.

- Yeah, - I let out a sigh, tired. It was just the first day - I just needed some air. It's... a lot.

- Yeah, I get it. - when he spoke, cigarette smoke came out of his mouth, a mix of the woodsy notes of his cologne and cigarette smoke hit me, and it’s impossible not to feel a little dizzy - First time meeting your favorite band and all.

- Your dad’s been hyping you up a lot. - He smiled, taking a drag and putting on a subject - He’s proud of you, y'know?

Frank laughs softly, the sound light and warm, and it makes my stomach flip.

- Yeah… - Knowing my father as I do, I already knew that there was a good chance that he had said too much, so I put my hands to my face, thinking about the possibilities. - He’s been telling embarrassing stories, hasn’t he?

- He might’ve mentioned a few. But nothing too bad.- He chuckled, but the next sentence he mocked a bit, and glanced sideways at me - Except maybe the part where you had a bit of a crush on someone in the band.

I felt my nervousness increasing, my face getting hot, soI buried my face even deeper in my hands.

- Oh my god, please tell me you’re joking

- Relax, he didn’t name names. But… - He shrugs playfully - I have a feeling I know who it was…

I looked in his direction, my eyes wide, and in a matter of seconds I realized that my reaction was very obvious. Frank noticed my state, so he laid his tattooed hand on my shoulder.

- But, hey, don’t worry this is totally normal. - My heart raced with the quick eye contact we made, but he continued trying to comfort me - I had a huge thing for Debbie Harry back in the day.

I laughed, and the conversation kept going, passing through a lot of different light subjects, and word by word I calmed down. Tour stories, the weird snacks people leave backstage, music... The longer I sit there, the more I realize that despite the years I spent idolizing him, Frank feels... real. Just a guy who likes good music, bad jokes, and late-night conversations.

The time didn’t seem to pass, but Frank got up and groaned.

- Well, I should probably get some sleep. We’ve got a long day tomorrow. - He smiled at me, scratching the back of his neck - It was cool hanging out with you. Maybe we can do this again sometime?

- Yeah, I’d like that - I smiled back, and he got on the bus.

I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened that night for days, but things went far when Frank started to ask me little favors. Help him with ideas for setlists, with the excuse that I was “a fan that they need to choose the right songs”. After all, we spent about two hours together, laughing and chatting.

I started to notice that maybe these favors were some kind of excuses, ‘cause there were no reason for me to help him to find his hoodie, go with him everywhere just because “he don’t want to go alone”, help him to choose his clothes, or just being with him to listen him practiced. 

It’s not like I wasn't enjoying it, but it turned worryingly suspicious. I really wanted to keep spending time with him, even though I knew it wouldn't lead to anything, and that it would only be during the tour, but even so, they were the moments I'd dreamed of for years.

But the thought of someone actually noticing gives me creeps. 

Everything was going fine, but one morning after a show, I was standing outside the bus when Frank pops his head out and spots me.

- Hey, we’re grabbing breakfast. You wanna come with? 

- Wouldn't I be a bother? 

- Nah, it 's cool. We’ll grab you a seat. C’mon

At first, I hesitated, but his warm smile was impossible to resist. Not thinking too much, I followed him toward the diner with butterflies in my stomach. Inside, the guys settle into a booth, squishing together on one side while leaving space for Frank and I on the other.

- So, Frank - Ray breaks the silence after the coffee arrives, with a grin on his face - didn’t know you were handing out VIP passes these days.

- Exclusive breakfast invites. - Mikey chuckled - Very on-brand.

- We’ve been in the band for years! - Gerard said, playfully, pretending to be offended - Where’s my personal breakfast date?

- Shut up, guys. - Frank rolled his eyes - I’m just being nice

- ”Nice.” Right. - Ray teased, and I held myself back to not blush, glancing sideways to Frank - That’s what we’re calling it now?

- Does the ‘VIP package’ come with a t-shirt too? - Gerard smirks, taking a sip of his coffee.

Frank groaned, his knee brushing against mine under the table. I can tell he was embarrassed by their teasing but trying not to make it worse. I shifted uncomfortably, hoping the attention doesn’t give anything away.

- You guys are idiots.

Even though the teasing eventually subsides, I couldn't help but notice how Frank keeps glancing my way, as if checking to make sure I'm okay. It looks like we were sharing some secret I haven't fully acknowledged yet.

They started talking about the concert tonight, talking about what clothes they were going to wear or something, but I think I was too distracted looking at Frank out of the corner of my eye to pay attention.

The rest of the day passed normally, with the boys rehearsing and getting ready, while I helped set up the equipment, along with the rest of the staff. 

When the show started, I didn't take my eyes off the stage for a single second. It's not as if I've never seen this show before, after all, it was the 3rd show of the tour, but every time there's something different. Each of the shows so far I've been looking at everyone's performance, but this one in particular I was hypnotized by Frank's performance, who always makes a point of being extremely hot. 

Before I knew it, the show was over and they were leaving the stage. Frank threw the pick into the audience and ran to the opposite side from where the others had gone. The side where I was.

With his guitar slung over his body, he came even closer to me, but it was so fast that I couldn't react. His hands reached for my face and his lips collided with mine, and I didn't move away. His sweaty face brushed against mine as his tongue danced with mine. At that brief moment it was just the two of us.  

He pulled out, quick, and with an awkward smile.

- Damn. Sorry… - Frank finally realized what happened, and shook his head in confusion - I... I don’t know what came over me.

- It’s okay… - i gave him a small smile, catching my breath.

After that, everything became a blur in my memory. The only thing I thought about in the last few hours before I fell asleep was how much I wanted that kiss, how much I felt that he wanted it too. The way Frank's eyes shone when he stared at me for a few seconds before apologizing. 

This tension that builded between us just grows and it becomes impossible to handle, so we start sneaking around. Brief kisses when no one was around, mid-night walks, deep conversations, cuddles in the bus when it was empty… every time he touches me, I feel the way no one has ever made me feel.  

Another show was about to begin and I was walking through the corridors near the dressing room when I felt a tug on my arm, just after I heard the sound of the door opening. Once inside the dressing room, my back hit the door, slamming it shut. Still in a bit of a daze, I looked up to meet Frank's beautiful hazel eyes. 

Without much time to understand the whole situation, I heard the door lock click shut, and just as quickly, he kissed my lips, with his hands going up to my waist.

- Are you insane?! -  mumbled, whispering in his lips, between kisses . - Show’s gonna start in less than ten minutes!

- So better we do it fast, huh. - His mouth traveled in my neck, sucking it perfectly. 

His hands grip my hips like he can’t bear to let go, thumbs brushing under the hem of my shirt, I shivered. 

- We don’t have time for this… - I moaned, laughing, with my hands on his chest, pushing him away.

- Exactly. - He whispered, with his lips on my collarbone - No time to waste.

Before I could say anything, he pulled up my shirt, taking it off. My back pressed even hard against the door, as his hand went back to my waist. I grab the front of his jacket, pulling him closer until his body molds against mine perfectly. His lips find mine again, the kiss turning deeper, hotter, all tongue and teeth, like neither of us could get enough.

His hands slide down, fingers hooking into the waistband of my jeans.

- We can be quick - He said. His voice was soft and low. making me bite my lips.

Frank unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down. He slipped a hand between my thighs, looking up at me and liking his lips. 

- Frank, - I panted, feeling his fingers rubbing me through my panties. - we’re gonna get caught.

I let out a moan, and a smile grew in his face. 

- Then we’ll have to make it worth the risk, won’t we? - Frank teased, catching my lips again and muffled the noises coming out of my mouth.  

Not taking too long, his shirt came off, as well his jeans, showing his tattooed body. He turned me and pushed my body to the couch in the corner of the dressing room. His body on mine, and his mouth in my neck, just felt right. Frank undid my bra, moving his hands to my breasts. Again I whimpered, a bit much louder this time.

- Shh, baby - He warned, teasing - Don’t want the others hearing, do you?

I shook my head, but his tone wasn’t helping at all. With no more clothes between us, he thrusted inside of me. Wasn’t the first time we did this, but it always felt like it was. Every move he made caused a turn in my stomach. Among whimpers, messy touches and praises, we were finally reaching our climaxes. 

- Frank… I-  I was a hot mess, with my fingers tangled in his hair. - I'm so close...

- I told you we could be quick… - He grounded - do it, angel… 

Pleasures washed over my body as I felt him reaching his own pleasure. 

Just in time, we dressed up, and kissed passionately one more time before he go to the stage, and performed awesome as always.

These things became more and more frequent and I no longer knew if we were “just friends”, if we were just “hooking up” or if we were really dating. Well, another day was going normally and, as usual, I started tidying up some stuff, when Mikey showed up, a little bored and bringing up a random subject. Before long, we were laughing at some pointless joke. Some a few minutes passed, and Mikey looked at his phone, noticing a message on it. 

- Hum… - Mikey sighed, reading the text on his phone - Well, gotta go… we definitely need to talk more often, by the way. 

- Well, I'm always here - I gave him a gentle smile. as he walked by -  Bye, Mikey.

He waved at me and Frank appeared. I was surprised when I looked at his face, even though he tried to hide it, was clearly disconcerted. 

- Such a funny guy, right? - He wasn’t angry, but I never heard him talking like that. 

- What? - I was confused… Was he… jealous? - Mikey? What’s the problem? 

- I don’t know! It just…- He stops, exhaling sharply, his hands running through his hair - It drives me nuts seeing you with someone else, okay?

I raised my eyebrow, trying to understand what he was trying to say... so I followed my first hunch, this time asking, softly and a little shyly.

- Frank… Are you jealous?

- Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know - he rubbed his hands over his face, nervous.

He approached me, holding my waist, still a little exasperated, he sighed, thinking about how to speak. 

- I just... I think I love you. And it scares the hell out of me.

- I love you too… - I moved my face close to his, placing a soft kiss on his lips - and it’s okay being scared... I’m here, if you need… hm.

After that, our meetings became more and more frequent, the perfect balance between the physical, the kisses, hugs, touches... and the sentimental, long conversations, personal stories, and even comfortable moments of silence, when just the company of each other was enough.

Unfortunately, the more shows that went on, the closer it got to the moment when we would have to put an end to it, and it was obvious that neither he nor I wanted that. Even though I tried not to think about it too much, it kept haunting me whenever I wasn't near him, thinking about what it would be like to have to go on with my life pretending that none of this had happened. 

Again, I was walking past the corridor hotel when Ray asked me to call Frank to go out with them. Without hesitation, I made my way to his room. I knocked on the door, not waiting for an answer. 

- Hey... The guys said they're going out to drink or something - I said stepping into his room - they asked me to call you to go with them.

Frank was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, clearly dazed by something.

- I'm really not in the mood today... - He mumbled.

I walked up to him calmly, and placed my hand on his shoulder, caressing him. 

- looks like there's something bothering you... - My tone was gentle, with genuine intention of seeing him well.

He took his hands off his face, now looking in my direction. I gave him a weak smile, trying to comfort him. His hair fell perfectly in his face, taking my attention away from the conversation and making me admire how beautiful he is.

- I'm just... - He sighed and paused for a moment, searching for an answer. - with a lot going on in my head.

My hand rose to his face, caressing his cheek. He maintained eye contact and I was mesmerized by his hazel eyes.

- Want to talk about it? -I asked, my thumb making circles in his warm skin.  - 'cause i'm here if you want to-

- I can't stop thinking about you - He grunted, turning his face away from my hand. Not because he didn't want me to touch him, but because somehow it was a tease for him.

That being the case, I took this confession as a green light. So, feigning innocence, I sat on his lap. He didn't stop me, in fact, he put his arm around my waist.

- And is this a bad thing, hm? - my hands passed behind his neck, while I brought my lips closer to his - Am I a annoying thought?

With our noses touching, I felt Frank's hand come up under my shirt, still with a firm grip. 

- It's actually the best thing I could think about - His voice was deep and almost a whisper, making my skin crawl.

- So what's wrong? - Before he could respond, I pressed my lips against his. Exactly the same feeling and taste as last time. It wasn't long before he broke the kiss, leaving me feeling empty.

- Everything - His eyes expressed sadness and hurt as he spoke.  - Our time is getting over… This is not right… 

Of course it wasn't right, but I wasn't going to give up, knowing that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Without any shame, I brought my lips closer to his jawline, and pressed kisses as I spoke.

- But you know as well as I do that even if it's not right, it feels so fucking good. - When I spoke, he closed his eyes, letting out a whimper.

- Don't do this to me... - Frank sighed, still running his hands over my body.

Little by little, he lay down on the bed and pulled me with him. It wasn't long before he kissed me passionately, making me melt in his arms. His tongue passed over my lips, finding mine, as I positioned myself on top of him.

It was all too good to be true, until he ruined the moment by reminding me of his moral dilemma.

- 'C'mon… You know this can’t last - he grunted, upset about what I was about to say  - you have to find guys your age.

Without getting off him, just settling myself more comfortably, I hugged him, resting my head on his chest.

- I don't want guys my age! - I whined, hugging him even tighter- they are immature, boring... and not even close to being as pretty as you.

- You’re ridiculous - He let out a chuckle, knowing I wasn't lying.

 Frank stroked my hair, getting carried away and momentarily forgetting the point of the conversation.

- I’m serious! I want you, Frank... - I said  looking in his eyes - always wanted, and I can see in your eyes that you want me too.

- You're right - Again, Frank sighed, with a sad smile on his face - But we can’t do this, angel. 

- We don't have to be public... - I tried, slipping my hand under his shirt and caressing his chest - Just gimme a chance to be yours.

Leaving all malice aside, I gave him my best doe eye. It wasn't like I needed to seduce him, but to convince him that he should be with me, regardless of the rest of the world.

- You're already mine, baby... - His confusion was obvious, while he felt the need to continue our relationship and make it something serious, he knew that everything could go wrong. -  But this... it’s going to get complicated. 

Little by little, I got up, got off Frank and sat down next to him. He did the same thing, and then I looked at him seriously.

- That's really a big deal? - It wasn't like I was arguing, but a serious question, waiting for his answer.

Frank took a deep breath, focusing on giving me the best answer he could find. 

- You're too young, and I have a career. - I opened my mouth to complain, but he was right, even if it hurt me to say - It wouldn’t just ruin me.. it’d ruin the band too.

Thinking, I couldn't find any logical thing to say, so I had to appeal to feelings. 

- It’s not even illegal! and… we can keep it a secret! - I started to beg, letting my feelings control my mouth - Please, don’t push me away... I love you, Frank, I really do.

It was not something I planned, but my desperation to continue with him spoke louder than any pride could hold back.

He moved close to me, holding my chin with his fingertips, making me look at him. Frank smiled, admiring every detail of my face. 

- you're so pretty, y'know? - He pressed his lips on mine, but too fast for me to kiss him back. With a sweet tone, he concluded - I love you too, angel.

His hand passed over the back of my neck and I was practically on his lap again. My arms wrapped around his neck and the feeling of his lips on mine simply made me think that there was no other man for me. Frank turned my body and laid me against the bed, leaving him on top of me, with our lips still glued.

- You're so perfect - He stammered, catching his breath with his forehead pressed against mine. - Shame you’re so damn manipulative, though.

He continued kissing my face, moving down to my chest, and his hands held the hem of my shirt, slowly lifting it.

- Not my fault you’re crazy about me - I giggled seeing him blush a little.

I lifted myself up enough so he could take my shirt off completely and throw it on the floor.

- Lucky for you - Frank looked at me in the eyes, while his hands went to my jeans, unbuttoning and opening the zipper, easily and quickly, in the blink of an eye my pants were on the floor too - I am indeed

He pulled away enough to pull off his shirt, revealing his tattooed body. I sighed, unable to take my eyes off him. I bit my lip impatiently as he pulled off his pants.

Falling back on top of me, he trailed kisses down my neck, sucking gently, while I moaned as lower as possible, knowing that even if the boys had left, someone from the staff could be passing by.

- I already said that, but I'm gonna say it again - he whispered with his lips on my skin - I love you.

I was about to tell him the same, but something interrupted me.

A knock on the door took our attention away from each other, without getting a response, the door that I thought I had locked opened, revealing the only person who definitely shouldn't see me in that situation.

- Hey, Frank, have you seen my- My dad was left speechless, not knowing whether to turn away or continue staring in disbelief.

We froze. Why didn't I lock the goddamn door?! (No, it's much better to face these kinds of things)

I could kill myself in front of them both. Shame took over me, both for my father seeing me in that situation and for putting Frank in it.

So there I was, lying on Frank's bed, half naked, with him on top of me. Frank's hands were positioned on my waist, while his mouth roamed my neck and collarbone. My fingers subtly tangled in the long strands of his hair, while my legs wrapped around his waist.

The scene was not ugly, quite the opposite, but my father looked shocked. I really expected him to leave, but after a few moments I realized he wasn't going to leave the room any time soon.

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, before trying to speak.

-I-I'd like to say it's not what it seems… but i can't.

Frank seemed stunned by the situation, he didn't know whether to continue what he was doing or stop. 

- Are you two some kind of…?

I opened my mouth to try to explain the whole thing, but before I could say anything, Frank came forward.

- I love them. - He spoke confidently, and I smiled. - I know there are a lot of problems with this, but I can't deny it.

The atmosphere in the room grew heavy as everyone exchanged glances. My father sighed, and clicked his tongue.

- Do you love him back? - he asked with an arched eyebrow.

- Yes! I love him so much!

- Then I have no complaints.  - He said, in an obvious tone - You're both adults. Just… wait till I get out of the room to keep doing whatever you both are doing. And lock the door next time,yeah? 

- Thanks, dad… - I let out a little smile.

My father nodded, leaving the room and closing the door.

- Good thing your dad likes me.

We laughed and he caught my lips again. I smiled against the kiss, pulling away just enough to speak.

- How could he not? - Fast, my smile disappeared, and I couldn't help but ask the thing I most feared about.  - So… when the tour ends… will we, y’know, over? 

- No way i’ll let you go, baby. 

The soft voice that came out of his mouth gave me more pleasure than his touches at that moment. Knowing that it wasn't the end, knowing that he thought I was worth the risk. I could never have imagined such a perfect cerario

___________________________________________

~ Soooo, that's it! It ended up being much longer than I thought it would be, but I hope that if you had the patience to read this far, you enjoyed it!

let me know if u liked! <3

[sayokoni]

Apologies 

💔- angst to fluff

Warnings : Angst but fluff at the end, little bit of cursing, yelling, crying, Toji being an ass, sensitive reader (tell me if I forgot smt)

Summary: Toji was exhausted and just wanted to relax but you had a unpleasant surprise, that resulted him to take out his frustration on you

Word count: 1,7k

11:44pm

That’s the time his watch was telling him he had a lot of jobs lately so toji was rarely home the whole last week and also he was really exhausted and to top all off that the last job he did didn’t bring him the amount of money he hoped to get so he was really pissed and on the edge right now. But that’s now over he had finish everything he had to do so now he can finally relax and get this shitty week behind him. He sighed before He quietly opened the front door because he taught that you were already sleeping but to his surprise there was still light burning in the living room so he tip toed in case you are sleeping one the couch but you weren’t laying one the couch to.

„ Toji ?” A sing full voice bounced through the room „ Toji are you back home” you said as you walked towards the living room

„ yeah I’m back did ya missed me?” He asked as he opened his arms to let you hug him

„ yeah I missed you a lot glad you got home in one pice “ you said while hugging him tight

He chuckled „ me too ,I just want to relax now would you like to join me? “ he asked has he was getting ready to plumb onto the couch but you stopped him „ yeah but first i need to show you something I have a surprise for you “ you said while barley holding back your smile „ oh you do but can’t that wait till tomorrow I’m really ti-“ you didn’t let him finish his sentence „ please toji it’ll only take a minute “ you said in hope he give in „ fine what can I do when you asked so sweet what is the surprise? “ he asked now interested what you’re about to show him „ come I’ll show you “ you giggled you were so excited to show him your work soo you grabbed his hand and let him to his office.

„ TA DAA” you said with a big smile „ what the hell?” Toji asked dumbfounded you were a bit confused but you went one „ I rearranged your Uhm Workplace or your “ you whispers „ weapons room “ but he kept looking like he saw a ghost „ soo I taught it would look nice if your desk would face the window for a good view and I cleaned and rearrange you weapons- “ after that sentence it was like toji came back to life „ you did what???“ you didn’t quite like his tone „ Uhm I rearrange your weapons and paperwork” you said nodding a bit disappointed at his reaction „ no no no you messed everything up where was the Pille of paper I left on the desk and who the hell allowed you to Touch my weapons don’t you know some of them contains poison” he raised his voice at you, he was yelling , you were a bit shocked at his reaction but understood his pov „ I tried to keep your things the way they were I just wanted to help you I didn’t mean any harm sorry toji”

You didn’t mean to do that you just wanted to please him because he always said that’s he want to change the room „ well next time don’t do you know how long it gone cost me to rearrange the mess you did” his voice got poison in it and he never talk to you like that

„ I really didn’t mean it toji if you want I can help you fix everything I’m really sorry please forgive me” there were already tears starting to form in your eyes but you couldn’t let them out you don’t want to upset him more

„ your excuse can fu*k me I don’t need your fu*king help “ he said while turning his back to you. That did the rest for you, you couldn't hold back your tears any longer so you almost run to the bedroom. Toji could only here you’re footsteps going away from him and the sound of door closing he sighed and pinched the bridge off his nose as he started to put his things back the way they were

More than two hours had passed but he was finally done as he took a few steps away from his desk he noticed that the room actually looked really nice you really put a lot of effort in it and to top it all you moved his desk and furniture and they were all quite heavy a big wave of guilt washes over toji whohe realised how he talked to you, he shouldn’t reacted the why he did he shouldn’t have yelled at you like that for trying to make him happy, he needs to fix this fast!

So he went to your sheared bedroom knocked a few times in hope of an answer but he only was meet with silence „ y/n “ he said softly he opened the door just to be meet with a perfect made bed „ what the hell?” weren’t you here he clearly heard you walking in this direction and also the noise of door closing so there is only one other room you could be. Now he was standing in fort of the guest room he knocked no response so he tried to opens the door but it was closed yep you where definitely in there and it only confirmed him that he messed up bad „ y/n? I’m sorry I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that I just…” he doesn’t know what to say to you but he continues „ I was really tired and I totally overreacted I know that this is not an excuse for the way I treated you but I want you to know I’m really sorry” he said with so much genuine that one could clearly tell that he meant it but still he was meet with silence he was about to go when he heard a light snore Coming from the other side of the door oh you were sleeping he looked at his watch and…„ what already 2 o'clock in the morning” he was so deep into rearranging everything that he lost track of the time. Back in your sherd bed room toji change in something more comfortable while thinking on how he could make it up to you his mind was still racing as he laid in bed feeling so incredibly guilty he hopes he can solve that issue fast.

You woke up white the sun in your eyes and nasty headache when you stood up you were confused when you noticed that you were in the guest bedroom until it all came back to you

„ next time don’t, you messed everything up, you excuse can fu*k me” Toji’s hate filled words were going through your mind over and over again, right there was an argument last night. You considers lying back down again and just sleeping the headache away but then you stomach starts to growl you sighed and had give in. You slowly walk out of the room tip toed in case toji was still sleeping when you reached the living room you saw your phone one the table right you had forgotten it last night here…but never mind that you looked in horror at the time at was already past 14 o’clock you slept till noon great normally toji would’ve woken you up long time ago so you could breakfast together but for now that wasn’t the case. We’re even is he when is passed noon he should be awake by now when you went to the kitchen it was the way you left it last night ‘ din’t he eat?’ You asked yourself. It was so quiet almost to quiet so you found the courage to got to your shared bedroom. You slowly open the door and pushed your head through it and, the room was empty so you went completely inside he wasn’t here the bed was messed up so he clearly slept here so where was he know you knew for sure he don’t had any jobs today so you started to worry ‘ d-did he leave no no no way he can’t leave or can he it was just a mistake you dint‘t mean any harm really how long was he gone?‘ tears starting to form again you can’t lose him you were about to start to cry your eyes out again but suddenly you heard the front door you went to check if It was toji or maybe he send somebody to get rid of you, you slowly made your way to the front door till you saw toji that was trying to get his shoes of „ toji ?” You called out his name „ y/n?” Your lips started to wobble „ I am sorry Toji I didn’t mean to make you mad really please forgive me please don’t don’t leave me please” your voice broke at the end

„ doll what do you mean I shouldn’t leave I dint’t and I’ll never will listen to me I’m the one who should apologise I shouldn’t have yelled at you for trying to make me happy really I’m so fucking sorry I felt so guilty I couldn’t sleep last night and you, you went through all that trouble rearranging my office even tho it’s not you Job but you still did it I don’t deserve you at all you are way to good to me and even tho you apologise I keep yelling at you I’m sorry y/n “

Now your were to one who is dumbfounded he is apologizing??

You started to tear up again

„ I’m sorry toji for troubling you but “ you look directly into his eyes with a pout

„ never yell at me like that I really thought you left me “ the last sentence was muffled because you buried your face into his chest

„ I would never leave you doll ya know that I just wanted to get you some flowers and chocolate to apologize that’s why I quickly run to the store” you just now noticed the flowers behind his back

„ aww toji I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH”

You said while hugging him tightly

„ love ya to doll”

I hope y’all like it tell me about it in the comments :3

I apologize again because I’m sure there are mistakes in it

[queen-of-roaches]

What would happen if you played with Husks tail… well. I have answers. Sit down and listen.

Tw: none really, just you touching husk in a NON suggestive way, there’s also no pronouns in this :P

POV: second pov

Summary: one day in the bar at the hotel, you saw Husk’s tail wag gently. You had the sudden urge to touch. NOW.

Ready? Get some water and read this with me. Also it’s not proofread cuz I’m lazy <333

🐈 tails ‘N wings🪽

🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺 🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺 🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺 🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭

You were a resident and worker in the hotel. You worked as the entertainment for guests. You were at the bar in the hotel, drinking a tad bit. You looked over to the certain bartender that usually always caught your eye. Husk. Husk was a cat demon- thing? Well you can see he has cat features and red wings. He was the bartender that listened and usually never talked that much. Usually only talking to Angel dust and rolling his eyes at him. You took another sip and then looked down at his… tail. It wasn’t a cat-cat tail- it was like a birds and a cats at the same time. It looked so… fluffy and nice to touch…. The thoughts flood your mind as you grow more curious by the second.

TIME SKIP!!

🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺 🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺 🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺 🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭

He was cleaning the dishes in the bar, his tail swaying a bit. His wings twitched at the soft breeze coming from inside the quiet building. It was night time, everyone was asleep. Except you and Husk… and also Alastor lurking in the shadows as always. Nifty fella asleep, holding the knife she killed all the cockroaches with like it was a teddy bear. You walked over to the bar, have small talk with husk. Such as,

“So, husk. How’s the job goin’?”

“Grumble… as boring as ever.”

Then you said something out of pocket,

“Can I touch your tail…?”

His claws stopped cleaning the cups, the rag he was using froze. His ears twitch, his raspy deep voice came back and said

“Pardon?”

You stayed silent then spoke again

“Sorry I- I wasn’t thinking-“

“-Sure.”

Did… Husk just… Say yes? To you touching HIS tail?! This was incredible news. You practically jumped thinking this was a different cat. He raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you looking at me like that..?”

His gruff and deep voice made it even harder to believe. Your mouth was in a shape of a O and your eyes nearly popped out of your head. Your eyes sparkled at the thought of his fluffy fur under your fingers, taking through it. You didn’t waste any time. Grabbing him and placing him on the couch. You ran your fingers against his wings, making them flutter. He purred, a little of the cheep booze kicking in as his cat instincts fell. His tall swayed right and left. It was like Husk was under a spell. It’s fascinating to you that he can change in a second to being a grumpy old man to a kitten. You touched his tail gently, he purred loudly, not that loud to wake people up but still loud. Either way, the next morning you were asleep with a husk in your lap and cat hair all over your clothes. How did some get in your mouth-

🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺 🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺 🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺 🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭

A/N: I had some fun writing this, husk is such a cool character in the show, one of my favorites. Not my foes favorite tho 🙄 that spot is for Fat nuggs. I hope you liked this as much as I do, and I’ll see you later! Bye loves!!

[stardustloserdoll]

Hey babe, I heard you had no ideas for a Professor Turner so here’s one:

You’re struggling with writing an essay, maybe a particularly important one it doesn’t really matter. And you asked Alex to come and help you in the library. He shows up, you’re doing your best to focus on writing. But his voice is so low and he’s practically whispering in your ear. His hands look so pretty writing and marking your essay. Maybe, y’all get a little close… ykyk

Now, you could leave it there, but… smut is so much fun.

So now you’re struggling to stay quiet as Alex fingers you beneath the table. Whispering dirty things into your ear and telling you to stay quiet.

TBH+C Alex is the one who I imagine I would do this, this gif specially:

Or like early Car:

AAAAAH i love this. thank you so much!😭 he looks so fineeee in those gifs 🤭

also trying out a different pov d:

essay help

female reader

“i’ll see you all on monday. have a good weekend.” professor turner said, causing everyone to begin packing their things up quickly. as you began packing your things, you glanced over at him seeing he was erasing the board. slinging your backpack over your shoulder, you waited till everyone was out, finally approaching him.

“hello professor.” you smirked leaning on his desk. he turned around placing the eraser down “y/n.” he smiled placed his hands on his hips, looking down at her. “boring lecture as always.” he laughed packing up his things “you love them.” you rolled your eyes playfully. you sighing dramatically as you watched him pack. “something wrong?” he asked.

“yeah um. i was having trouble on the essay and i was wondering if you can help me with it?” he looked up raising his eyebrow “you? asking me for help? that’s rare, your essays are always well done.” you sat down in the seat in front of the desk. “well the one you assigned is confusing! you should’ve explained it better.” you pouted. “maybe if you weren’t eye fucking me the whole time you would’ve understood it better.” you scoffed mumbling a whatever. “can you just help me please?” he nodded his head “of course.”

“great, i’ll meet you at the library. thank you.” you said placing a kiss on his cheek walking out.

you sat there in the quiet library, the sound of keyboards clacking and the sound of pages quietly turning. you tapped your pencil against the desk, anxious eyes scanning the room until you saw him. he looked around the room until he spotted you sending a small wave your way.

“hey.” you smiled moving your things aside. “hey. sorry im late.” he said taking a seat next to you, placing his things down beside. “it’s okay. i haven’t wrote much anyways.” you said handing him a pen from your pouch. “how about we look at that essay of yours hm?” he said leaning in to examine the work, placing it in front of him to read.

“yeah. right, the essay.” you mumbled. as he read through the pages, you couldn’t help but stare at his hands. the way his veins would pop out whe he wrote something down, to the way he lifted his hand up to his lip as he read. you bit your lip, playing the the hem of your skirt. after some time went by he was finally done reading. “okay so far it’s good, just some little things to change.” he said placing the paper in front of you. he placed his arm around your chair getting closer.

“see that sentence. i think it could use a little more detail.” he spoke placing his finger on the paper, his warm breath ghosting over your ear. you swallowed nodding your head, erasing what you had previously. you swallowed, reading over his comment scribbling down some things. “how does this sound?” you asked turning your head slightly to look up into his eyes. his eyes lingered onto yours for a while until he looked down to read what you had, the scent of his cologne wafting into your face making you dizzy. “mmh perfect. how about we continue with the rest?”

as you both continued to look over the essay you, couldn’t focus. your eyes would stay stuck onto his hands, imagining what those fingers could do. you gripped onto your pencil tightly stopping your writing making alex notice. “something wrong y/n?” he asked. you shook your head bringing the pencil up to your lips, eyes still lingering on his hands as you clenched your thighs. you action not going unnoticed by him causing a smirk to form on his face. “what’s on your mind, you look a little red.” you shook your head seeing his hand moving to rest on your thigh. “did you want a break?” he asked. “i think you deserve one. you’ve been working so hard on that essay of yours.”

you watched as his hand slipped under your skirt, inching closer, stopping him. “alex..we can’t.” you whispered looking up at him with pleading eyes. he chuckled “i guess you’ll have to stay quiet then hm?” you bit your lip opening your legs slightly. “naughty girl.” he smirked resuming his motions, slipping a finger into your underwear to rub circles onto my clit. slowly pushing two fingers into you me, thrusting his fingers at a slow pace.

you moan softly, biting your lip, your eyes shutting close as he fucked you. “shh.” he whispered, slowly increasing his pace. you moved your hand to grip the seat, letting out a shaky breath clenching your thighs around his hand. he quickened his pace, making me loud moan a slip out, his hand coming to my mouth to silence me quickly. you muffled a sorry, causing him to drop his hand. “im close al.” “naughty girl, what’d i tell you.” he whispered keeping his pace up, making me shift in my seat.

“cum on my fingers sweet girl.” he praises giving you that final push. you let out a shaky breath as your orgasm washed over you, feeling alex slip his fingers out of you painfully slow making you shudder. “let’s finish that essay, when we do you’ll get rewarded.”

[malaierba]

But you know, on the topic of long lived races and short lived races in dungeon meshi

The Namari + Toshiro duo is great because not only does it take out both of their silly sides, they work really really well together, and a common gag in the manga is that they're often on the same wavelength,

That is, they're often thinking the same thing; They have a couple scenes where Toshiro will say something and Namari will know immediately what he means before he's even finished, they share looks all the time and you can tell there's some sort of communication happening.

I'm inclined to believe that its partly bcs of their personalities. Namari is very sociable and gregarious, obviously very very good at teamwork; Toshiro's observant and empathetic, he tries to figure out the dynamic of whichever group he's in so he can insert himself in it with minimal friction.

But I also want to believe that, man, they just have chemistry. They've got that je ne sais quoi that lets them be so, and sorry to be cringe, so besties with each other lol.

Could very well be that they're each other's (platonic) types! Toshiro does have a couple of extroverted, strongwilled female figures in his life (Hien, Maizuru, Tade to a lesser extent although they both seem to have a good opinion of each other) while Namari ends up befriending Kiki and Kaka very quickly, who are funnily similar to Toshiro. Or, could be that, PLUS just. Honest to god chemistry. Meeting someone unlike yourself but with whom you vibe very easily, you're guessing their thoughts, you coordinate with a look, etc.

Where I'm going with this is, would that type of chemistry be in part a result of their developmental stage? And, will it be lost as Toshiro's aging surpasses Namari?

I mean, that's a common issue, isn't it? It's explored through Marcille's trauma, Otta "serial dater of half-foot women extraordinaire" recognises that they're more mature than long-lived ages give them credit for, but things eventually fall apart and a common reading why is that they out-mature Otta, etc.

I guess I've kind of been thinking o(-< Namari looks like she's in her 20s to us. Toshiro is 26. They've been working together for four years, so I guess they could maintain their dynamic a couple more years? At least until Toshiro has to make a Big Adult Decision, which at the latest will probably happen once he turns 30.

I LOVE the idea that maybe Toshiro will be 70 and whenever he meets Namari they're still being the best cooperative duo you've ever seen, reactions to nonesense in-sync etc. Very fun, right?

But I also look at the other possibility, from Namari's perspective too. Toshiro goes back to Wa and that's already a big change in their dynamic. They won't have the same environment anymore, the same influences, let alone a way to react to anything similarly.

It must be a particularly wistful feeling for long-lived races to have a memory of when you knew someone and they were so... like you. And then time passes, barely for you, but to you it feels like they're changing so fast. And I'm sure Toshiro will always be friendly with Namari, but wouldn't it be weird? For something, anything at all to happen, and for them to exchange a look a realise that they are not sure if they're on the same page anymore.

I kind of like to think about this from Namari's perspective (because she's my favourite girl) because she seems to have such a developed understanding of other race's maturity. She's probably the least condescending dwarf we see, as in, sure she's bad at guessing the age of other races, but she doesn't seem to assume maturity/immaturity solely on the fact that they have different lifespans.

Something about already being at that point of acceptance, or perhaps of understanding of reality makes her POV that little bit more blue. She already knew that was likely going to happen. Still kind of sucks to see it happen, right?

[0tivez]

Out of topic but "geto apologist" is the funniest title i've seen all day 🤣🤣 anways. May i request an hc for gojo's crush being a blunt/natural flirt but not realizing that's she's flirting? Like in her pov she's just conversating like normal?

note: haha thank you anon! i will defend my man every day and every night. sorry it took a while to post this! this turned out more story like rather than headcanons, so heads up for that

characters: gojo

warnings: none, fluff

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⁜ oh he would be confused and pissed

⁜ even after a while he'd make it into a competition without you even knowing

⁜ so he just sits in his room, confused, thinking if you like him or not

⁜ i mean, gojo is also a natural flirt, but he wouldn't expect someone else to initiate that friendly flirting stuff

⁜ he thinks you love him or something and then the next day you're flirting with nanami and shoko too

⁜ but for some reason, it just doesn't register in his mind that you're unaware of this

⁜ so he'll flirt back

⁜ you greet him one morning. gojo approaches you and initiates a conversation to work his magic

⁜ he says "good mornin' sweetheart" as he inches closer to you

⁜ you look at him, smile and say "mornin" back carelessly

⁜ gojo is DUMBFOUNDED

⁜ he starts talking about something and as you're listening, you look him up and down, smile, nod, and flutter your eyelashes just like always

⁜ and for the first time in his life, gojo panics

⁜ he stutters, his voice shakes, he losts his train of thought

⁜ you stand there confused, "is everything okay?" you ask him

⁜ gojo looks at you with embarrassingly red cheeks and reply "y-yeah, must have been the c-coffee"

⁜ you raise an eyebrow and smirk. "but you don't drink coffee"

⁜ gojo widens his eyes at your low tone of voice, impressed more than he's willing to admit. he says goodbye and leaves

⁜ oh man he's PISSED

⁜ how dare you don't look affected by his flirting techniques? ones that are enough to make ladies swoon and leave him 500 messages

⁜ surely, you must have been doing it to get his attention

⁜ "two can play a game"

⁜ suddenly he starts buying you random gifts that "reminded him of you," bringing you lunch, making sure he makes subtle physichal contact with you whenever he has the chance to, just like he does with his friends

⁜ now you're confused

⁜ cause although you're not complaining, you're surprised at this sudden change of behavior

⁜ but you admit, you like the attention a little too much

⁜ and satoru enjoys spoiling you a little too much, more than he likes spoiling others

⁜ but when you ask him one day, "why?" gojo freezes

⁜ no really, why was he doing this? is it actually to compete with you or is he actually enjoying flirting with you?

⁜ "what do you mean why?" he replies

⁜ "you started buying me stuff, calling me sweet names overnight. are we in a relationship or something?" you jokingly ask

⁜ "well you're the one that started it!" he furrows his brows

⁜ you look at him confused. "huh? what do you mean i started it?"

⁜ "you've been flirting with me this whole time! and then you go around doing the same with others, i know you're trying to make me jelaous!" gojo says, not jealous one bit

⁜ your cheeks get red as your eyes open wide. "i'm not flirting with anyone!"

⁜ now you're both yelling

⁜ "what do you mean you're not? the..." gojo starts imitating you with exaggeration, it almost looks comical. he holds his hands together and brings them to his cheek as he flutters his long eyelashes non stop. "and the good morning baby, missed me?"

⁜ "nonsense! i'm just talking normally!" you defend yourself. "and i don't sound like that" you pout

⁜ gojo stands there dumbfounded, again

⁜ "wait, you weren't actually flirting?"

⁜ "no"

⁜ "but then-"

⁜ "i'm just talking. it's how i talk. does it... actually come off as flirting?"

⁜ "i mean..." gojo hesitates if he should tell you the truth or lie and comfort you

⁜ "fuck, am i easy?"

⁜ "no! no no, i mean, i do it too, do i look easy?"

⁜ you look at him, not wanting to answer. you both know the answer lol

⁜ gojo pouts his lips. "maybe we both are"

⁜ "shut up!" you smack his arm

⁜ silence

⁜ "but i did enjoy being spoiled" you finally confess

⁜ gojo laughs. "i enjoyed spoiling you"

⁜ you two look at each other

⁜ "what happens now?" you ask

⁜ gojo lookas around. "well, we're in too deep now, aren't we? we can't just randomly stop one day, people will notice"

⁜ "are you suggesting..."

⁜ "let's just act like nothing happened. you talk -not flirt, talk, and i respond the same way"

⁜ you smile at his offer. you're not going to question why he wants to continue play-flirting is it made him too annoyed, or if it meant something more, because hell, you loved having satoru's attention

⁜ "deal. i'll talk with you- not flirt, talk, and you respond" you reach your hand out, and satoru shakes it. you two nod at each other, and go on with your day

⁜ except it's not the same, is it? how can you go on knowing satoru felt intrigued by your gestures so much? how can you erase the image of him towering over you with a small box in his hands as he calls your name with his deep voice?

⁜ and him, how can he erase the image of you looking up at you with cheeks red from embarrassment, how shocked you were when he confronted you? how you asked him what are we? and how you knew he was flirting with you this whole time, and let him go on?

⁜ how long will you last before someone actually falls in love?

i don't know why but this CHALLANGED me. i became a rusty old woman. i need to step up my game

[pedroscurls]

Hold My Hand

Character(s): Frankie “Catfish” Morales , Reader (female, second person POV) Summary: For years, you have been in love with Frankie. Everyone else saw it, except him, and you never had the courage to tell him how you truly felt. Instead, you stuck by his side even when it hurt. And after Colombia, he hadn’t been the same. You knew he had demons (being a veteran and all), but this... This was different. Would Frankie finally open his eyes and realize that the woman he was meant to be with had been right in front of him all along? Word Count: 6,653 Author's Note: This is my first time writing this character, so if I’m a bit off, please let me know and give me some feedback! Anyway, I have been obsessed with Frankie and it might very well be my favorite character that Pedro has ever played. I hope you all enjoy this story. Enjoy and happy reading! (also this story may or may not be very loosely inspired by my own relationship with my partner). Warning: Mentions of death, killing, violence.

(song: Hold My Hand by Lady Gaga)

Present day

Francisco “Catfish” Morales. The man who had your heart. The man who you would do anything for. The man who had absolutely no clue how you felt. You had met Frankie and the rest of his group of friends five years ago and since then, you had always been by his side. 

You had seen him at his worst, at his best, even when he had proposed to, gotten married to, and had a child with his now ex-wife. Through it all, you pushed aside your love for him because you didn’t want to ruin such a great friendship you had with the man. After all, Frankie was your best friend. 

But now? Now, there was just something different about him. After his so-called “boys trip” with Will, Santiago, Benny, and Tom, he had been different. When you tried to pry out some information from the other men, no one gave you any details. They all stuck to the same story. You had thought asking Benny would be the way to go, but even he was tight-lipped, which made you wonder what this boys trip really was. 

The men had always come by where you worked (a hole-in-the-wall bar nearby a military base, which meant most of your patrons were either active duty or retired veterans). They always came by Wednesday night, every week, the same table, the same drinks, the same food. Their routine hadn’t changed, until the boys trip. Their weekly get-togethers became less frequent and you hadn’t seen Tom in so long. Even when you hung out with Frankie, all he wanted to talk about was how your life was going and his son, Mateo. While you didn’t mind, you missed him, missed the way he would smile and a dimple on the right side of his cheek would appear, missed the way his laughter would fill your heart, causing you to laugh too. 

“Hey, you there?” Frankie asked from over the phone, pulling you from your thoughts.

“What? Yeah, sorry. Got a lot on my mind.”

“Hm,” was all he said. “Are you working today?” 

“Like always. Are you and the guys coming?”

“Oh, is it Wednesday?” 

You could tell his mind was elsewhere. He was distracted. Frankie had noticed that his sense of time was all over the place, probably because he barely got any sleep these days. 

“Last I checked, yeah.” You bit your lower lip. “Still having trouble sleeping?” 

Frankie huffed. “I’ll be fine.”

“You keep saying that.”

“I’m managing.”

“Are you though?”

You could hear Frankie curse under his breath, which probably wasn’t a good idea on his end since he was holding the phone so close to his mouth. “Listen, I gotta go.”

“Wait,” you sighed. “I’m sorry if I pushed. I just–”

“Don’t worry about it.” 

“Frankie–”

“Gotta go.”

Before you could even object, he had already hung up the phone. You sighed and tucked your phone back into your pocket, standing from the table to head back to work. You hoped that you would see him today, see the rest of the guys actually. 

—

Five years ago

You had been working at the bar for a little over six months, moving to a new state for a new start. It was tough in the beginning, but you had come to enjoy the adventure that it brought. You had broken up with your long-term boyfriend after realizing that he hadn’t wanted to settle down, have kids– ultimately, you both just wanted different things. It hurt in the beginning, but the distance helped. Being in a new city where no one knew you alleviated most of the emotions you had felt when the breakup first happened. 

And the bar you had been working at was always a fun time. The men and women that came in were either active duty or retired veterans. While there had been a few mishaps that happened with some of the patrons, most of the time, it was calm, quiet, and even respectful. 

One Wednesday night, however, changed your entire life. Five men entered the quiet bar, deciding to occupy a table at the corner of the bar. You were taken aback. They were all so good looking in their own respective ways, but one man… One man in particular caught your attention immediately. 

“So, y’all coming to watch me fight this Friday or what?” Benny grinned, running a hand through his dark and dirty blonde locks. He was cute, had this boyish attractiveness to him and he definitely looked younger than the rest of the group. 

The other blonde-haired man looked over at Benny. Must be his brother, you thought. There were obvious resemblances, but you couldn’t help but notice how this one was a bit older, quieter, more reserved. “Yeah, we’ll be there, Ben.”

There was another man who spoke up and you noticed him standing from his chair. You immediately went back to focusing on cleaning the counter of the bar, trying to act like you weren’t just staring and eavesdropping. He was handsome, alluring, his salt and pepper beard neatly trimmed. He was definitely clean cut, walking towards the bar with a sense of confidence that you found sexy. 

“Um, excuse me?” He called out. “Can we get five beers?”

“Oh, sure. Of course. Keep the tab open or close out?”

The man glanced over his shoulder, looking at his friends with a smile. “Yeah, let’s keep it open.” He handed you his card and you took it without hesitation, turning your back to him to swipe his card. 

“You new here?” You heard him ask. 

After ringing up the drinks, you turned back to him and handed him his card. Then, you grabbed five glasses to fill with beer. 

“Yeah, but bartending has been something I’ve always done. Even back home,” you replied with a smile. 

“Oh, so this isn’t home?” 

You shook your head. He was friendly, easy to talk to, and it helped that he was also nice to look at. “California’s home.” 

“So, why Florida? Weather’s kind of the same, lots of beaches…”

“Relationship ended.” You said, handing him the glasses. “But I’m happier here.” 

“Well, I’m Santiago. You can call me Santi, or Pope,” he smiled. “If you ever need a tour guide, I’d be happy to be of service.”

You blushed, glancing over his shoulder to the table with his friends. They were watching you, but you couldn’t help but find yourself staring a bit longer at the man with a cap. 

“Pope?” You said with a smile. 

“It’s my callsign,” he replied. “Was in the service.”

You nodded in understanding. “Makes sense. Bar near a military base.” You smiled, telling him your name. “By the way, your friends are staring a bit too hard over in this direction.”

Santiago looked over his shoulder and chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. “Probably jealous I got to talk to you first.” 

“Ah, I see. This was all part of your plan, come over here, sweet talk the bartender?” 

He laughed quietly, glancing over at you. “Damn, you caught me.”

Looking over his shoulder again, your eyes met the man who was wearing a hat. You could tell that his dark curls were sticking out from underneath and he had this mysterious way about him. He seemed as reserved as the older, blonde-haired man, but you felt a pull towards him. Just something about him. 

“You wanna meet ‘em?” Santiago asked. “My friends, I mean.”

“Oh, you know…” You cleared your throat. “It’s fine. I don’t want to impose and–”

“Nonsense,” he smiled. “Guys!” He called over his shoulder, waving them over. Almost immediately, the remaining four stood from their seats and walked over to the counter of the bar. As the man with the hat came closer, you felt your heart beat faster, your cheeks slowly become hot, and all of a sudden, you were now looking at five good looking men. 

“This is Will,” Santiago said. Older, dark blonde-haired man.

“Benny, his younger brother.” You were right. They were brothers. 

“Tom.” Santiago pointed to the man with dark hair, his beard also tinged with gray. He was the only one wearing a wedding ring, but he had this permanent scowl that you found to be a bit intimidating.

“And this,” Pope said, wrapping an arm around the man with the hat. “This is Frankie.”

Frankie. 

He removed his hat, running a hand through his curls and he looked at you with such soft eyes, big, and brown that had you captivated instantly. He gave you a small smile and you noticed the dimple on his right cheek, right underneath the patchiness of his beard. 

“Nice to meet you guys,” you said, trying not to act too obvious that you were obviously more interested in one man. 

“She’s new to Florida. I figure we can show her around.” Santiago said, handing each man a glass. “You know, show her not the touristy areas.” 

“Santi,” Frankie mumbled.

“What?” he replied. 

Benny grinned. “That sounds like fun. I’m in. I’ve got a fight this Friday, you should come.”

You glanced over at Benny, watching him take a swig of his beer. He was leaning against the counter of the bar, flashing you a smile that felt welcoming and inviting. 

“A fight?” You asked.

“MMA,” Will responded. 

Your eyes widened, a small grin slowly appearing on your lips. “MMA? I’m in.”

Santiago arched his brow. “Are you a fan?”

“Huge fan,” you nodded. “Brings back a lot of memories with my grandpa.”

“Sounds like a good man with taste,” Benny chuckled. “Here.” He grabbed a napkin and a pen from over the bar and wrote down the details: the time and location. You looked down at the napkin and smiled, pocketing it into the front of your pants.

“I’ll be there.”

Benny smiled. Tom, on the other hand, was the one who interrupted the conversation by saying, “guys, we should probably head back, let the girl do her job.”

You cleared your throat, nodding in agreement. “It was great meeting you guys. If you need a refill, just let me know.” You turned your attention once the door to the bar opened, noticing two men entering and taking a seat at one end of the bar. You excused yourself, walking over to them to take their orders. 

“She’s nice,” Santiago said, following the guys to the table. “You think she’s really gonna show up on Friday?”

Frankie shrugged. “I’m willing to bet she was just being nice. You know, customer service and all of that.”

Benny rolled his eyes. “Seemed like genuine interest to me.”

“Will, back me up here,” Frankie added.

Will shrugged. “I don’t know, Fish,” he chuckled. “Hard to argue when her interest in the sport seemed very sincere.”

“Tom?”

Tom didn’t respond, just sipping from his beer.

“What’s the big deal, Fish?” Santiago asked. “She’s nice, she’s new to the area. Seems to me like she needs some friends.”

Frankie didn’t respond. He glanced over in your direction, taking note of how your smile lit up the entire room. There was something he hadn’t felt before, right in the pit of his stomach as he watched you move from behind the bar, making the drinks for the other patrons that had come in. 

“You got a crush, Fish?” Benny teased, letting out a quiet chuckle. 

“What?” Frankie whipped his head towards the younger man, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. “Just distracted, is all.”

“She is single,” Santiago grinned. “And she didn’t show me much interest.”

“You tried hitting on her?” Frankie asked, feeling a sudden sense of protectiveness wash over him. He hadn’t even said anything to you, just a simple wave when Santiago introduced you, but there was a pull he found himself fighting. He didn’t even know you, yet he wanted to… It had been a long time since he had shown any interest in anyone. 

“I wasn’t hitting on her, Fish, jesus.” Santiago sighed. “I was just being nice, that’s all.”

“You’re wound up tight,” Tom chimed in. “And you didn’t even say anything to her. Next round, you should go up there and order for us.”

Frankie shook his head. “I’m good.”

The rest of the men chugged their beers, looking over at Frankie with smirks written on their lips. “We’d like another, Fish,” Benny grinned.

“Hey, I still have mine to drink,” he replied. 

“Easy fix,” Benny smiled, reaching for Frankie’s drink and downing the contents. “Now, go on.”

Frankie rolled his eyes. “You guys are assholes.”

The remaining four men erupted in a fit of laughter. When Frankie stood up, he straightened out his shirt and removed his hat to fix his hair before placing the cap back on top of his head. He exchanged a look with Santiago, noticing how the other man maintained a knowing smirk on his lips. 

“Dale,” Santiago whispered. “Go.” 

Frankie took a deep breath and walked over in your direction. He didn’t know why he was nervous, but when you turned to face him, a smile on your face, he felt himself suddenly relax.

“Frankie,” you smiled. “You guys went through those fast.”

Frankie shrugged, biting his lower lip as he nodded. “Yeah, can we get another?”

“Of course. On the same card?”

“Yeah, same card. Drinks are on Santi tonight.” 

“You guys seem like a tight knit group,” you noticed, grabbing five glasses and one by one, filling the contents. You still maintained conversation, looking up at him. “Lots of history there?” 

Frankie nodded, taking a seat at the bar across from you. “We all served together.”

“Ah, so all of you are retired veterans?” 

“That’s right,” he replied. “Santiago mentioned earlier that you’re new here?”

You smiled to yourself. Frankie was listening. “I am, yeah.”

“Where are you from originally?”

“California.”

“What’s wrong with California?” he smiled, feeling himself begin to relax as he continued to talk to you.

“Ex-boyfriend.”

Frankie arched his brow. “Ah. Bad breakup?” 

“Something like that.” You set the glasses on the counter of the bar in front of him, looking up at him. He was staring at you, his eyes piercing through you as everything around you seemed to disappear. All you could notice, could see, was him. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You okay?” 

Ugh, he’s sweet. Your heart raced even further. You barely knew this man and here he was, showing genuine concern over your wellbeing. “Yeah, it was my decision. We wanted different things, wasted a lot of my years being unhappy, so moving to Florida without much of a plan seemed like a good idea.”

“And is it?” Frankie asked. “A good idea?”

“So far? It’s been challenging, but just what I needed.”

He smiled at that. Frankie liked the fact that you seemed so motivated, determined to make something of your life. You had noticed that life in California was no longer serving you and while plenty of people would have settled for the sake of being afraid of change, here you were, jumping feet first into the unknown. He liked it. 

“This might be too forward, but–”

“I was thinking–”

Both of you let out a quiet laugh, looking into each other’s eyes. 

“You go ahead,” Frankie said. 

You smiled. Since moving to Florida, you had stepped out of your comfort zone, doing things you had never thought you’d ever do. And this moment? You were going to take the first step and ask him for his number. 

“Can I get your number?” You asked quietly.

Frankie’s eyes slightly widened at that. He certainly wasn’t expecting that. In fact, he had thought that maybe you were interested in Santiago, Will, or Benny, but him? He didn’t see the appeal.

“Oh, um…” he began, hesitating.

You felt embarrassed, immediately shaking your head. “You know what, I don’t know what I was thinking. We barely know each other and–”

“I should probably get these beers to the guys,” he interrupted. Frankie didn’t know why he didn’t just give his number, maybe it was the fact that he had a lot of baggage that he didn’t want to share with anyone. This isn’t to say, though, that he wished he had the courage to just give it to you. 

“Right, sorry,” you sighed. “It was nice talking with you, Frankie.”

“Yeah, it was nice,” he smiled. “See you Friday?” 

You bit your lower lip, thinking back to Benny’s invitation for the fight night. You were a woman of your word and while you felt highly embarrassed, you still decided to go. “See you Friday.” 

And every Friday since meeting Frankie, Santiago, Will, Benny, and Tom, you had spent it with them, watching Benny fight. While the first conversation with Frankie had been awkward and embarrassing, every week your friendship blossomed and it had taken him three months to finally give you his number.

—

Three years later

You were spending Friday night with the guys again. For the past three years since meeting them, you had felt like you were now an honorary member of their group. Each of them had their own personality, differing from each other, but Frankie… Frankie was the one you were closest to. 

It was easy when it came to talking to him. He made you laugh, made you smile, and his efforts to always try to cheer you up when you had a bad day was welcoming, inviting, and it had been a long time since you had felt this way. 

But for three years, you were in denial of the feelings you had for him. Everyone in the group, however, noticed it long before you had. The way you and Frankie would hang out (just the two of you), the inside jokes you two shared, the look of longing you had whenever you were with him. It wasn’t until when something unexpectedly happened that it opened your eyes to the reality of your friendship with him. 

You were in love with this man, in love with Frankie. 

It was a Friday night. As usual, you and the rest of the guys were sitting in the front row, waiting for Benny to walk out to the cage. He had been on a winning streak lately and you were all so excited of the possibility that he may become something more than just an underground MMA fighter. 

Before Benny’s music came on, your phone rang. So, you excused yourself from the group and walked towards the back of the room where it was less quiet. Frankie had looked over his shoulder to watch you, both of you locking eyes. He let a smile line his lips and you nodded in his direction, letting him know that you were okay. 

But the moment you heard your mother’s voice on the other end, your smile faltered and tears instantly pricked your eyes. 

“What?”

“Grandpa’s – He’s gone,” you heard your mom say. “It was a heart attack. We need you to come home, baby.”

“But… I just talked to him a couple of days ago. He said he was fine, he sounded fine, he –”

“Come home,” your mom repeated, hearing her sniffle on the other end. 

“Okay, mom. I’ll – I’ll figure it out. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

Once you got off the phone with your mom, you wiped your tears away and walked back towards the group. This was one fight night that you would have to miss and you knew Benny would understand. 

“Hey, Benny’s about to –”

“I can’t stay,” you replied to Santiago. 

“Is everything okay?” You heard Frankie ask. His brows were furrowed together and his eyes had softened a great deal. 

“N – No,” you whispered, tears slowly falling from your eyes. “My grandpa… He died and I just have to get home. I have to book a flight and pack and–” 

All of the guys knew how close you were to your grandpa. So without hesitation, they all understood, all muttered their condolences. But it was Frankie that had taken that extra step. He reached for you and pulled you into a tight hug, his strong arms wrapping around your frame. Resting your head against his chest, you let yourself cry, despite the loud crowd erupting in cheers when Benny walked out. 

“Let me take you,” Frankie said. “I can fly you to California.” 

“Fish,” Santiago said. “I think that’s a good idea.”

“You guys should leave tonight. Benny will understand. We’ll let him know after his fight,” Will said, his hand rubbing your back comfortingly. 

“Go,” Santiago said. 

“Frankie, I can’t –”

“It’s not up for debate. I’m taking you.” He pulled back, looking down at you once more with those soft eyes. It was in that moment you felt your heart skip a beat; the way he was looking at you and the way he was willing to drop everything to make sure you got home… You loved this man. 

You grabbed your things while Frankie said goodbye to the rest of the guys. Santiago pulled him in for a hug and you saw him whisper something in Frankie’s ear, which caused the other man to nod once he pulled away. After he said his goodbyes, you hugged each and every one of them. They all held you tighter and longer than normal and you felt like you could have broken down all over again. 

Santiago pulled back to look at you, cupping your cheeks and wiping your tears away with a swift motion of his thumbs. Everyone felt like your big brother. Everyone except Frankie. 

“Call us when you get there, okay?” 

You nodded. “I’m sorry I can’t stay and–”

“Stop,” he said with a small smile. “Frankie will take care of you.”

“I know,” you replied. “I just–”

“You be there for family,” Santiago interrupted. “And we’ll be here, waiting for you to come back.”

“I love you guys,” you whispered, your voice shaky and tears threatening to spill over again. 

Santiago smiled and kissed your forehead before letting you go. You turned around and noticed Frankie with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting patiently, but that look of concern was permanent on his features. Once you both left the building, he brought you over to his car and before he could unlock it, Frankie grabbed your hand and pulled you to him. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered. 

You nodded, your arms wrapping around him tightly. Being in his arms like this felt normal, felt like you belonged there. The feeling he gave you was nothing like you ever experienced before.

It was a couple of hours into the flight when Frankie spoke. He had been focused on piloting the small plane that he hadn’t checked in to see how you were doing. 

“So, I was thinking I can get a hotel once we get to California.”

“What?” You asked, looking over at him. “You don’t need to do that.”

“I wanna be there for you,” he said, glancing over at you. “Besides, how else are you gonna get back to Florida?”

“Hm, maybe just buy a plane ticket and –”

Frankie shook his head. “And spend all that money when you got a pilot as a friend?”

You sighed. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He reached out to rest a hand over yours. “We look out for each other, you know? Make sure that the other person is okay.” 

“Thank you,” you said, biting your lower lip. This wasn’t the first time he had rested a hand over yours, but this was the first time that you felt the love you had for him. 

“Do you wanna meet my family?” You asked hesitantly. 

Frankie squeezed your hand before letting it go to rest it back onto the steering of the plane. “Is that gonna be okay?”

“I have talked about you and the guys, so you won’t be a complete stranger.”

Frankie smiled. “Hm, you’ve been talking about us, huh? What have you been saying?”

Despite the circumstances, Frankie managed to make you smile. “It’s a secret.” 

Frankie didn’t push any further. He just gave you a single nod before turning his focus ahead of him. You didn’t know if you were ready to get back home, especially now that your grandpa wasn’t going to be there to welcome you. It hurt to know that the man who had always been there for you was now gone. He was a big part of your life and it just didn’t seem real that he wasn’t going to be here anymore. 

Later that night after you got to California, Frankie had gotten a rental car to drive you to your childhood home. You had been quiet the entire drive, aside from the quiet sniffles he heard. Once again, he reached over for your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Hey,” he said quietly. “You’ve been quiet. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

You shrugged, keeping your eyes and attention out the window as you watched the houses pass as he continued to drive. “I’m just gonna miss him, that’s all…”

Frankie sighed. He never was good at talking about emotions or feelings, that was more up Will’s alley, but seeing you like this when you were usually always so positive, hurt and he wasn’t sure why he was feeling this way. Maybe because you were just a really good friend, but even after plenty of talks with the guys and especially Santiago, he had started to wonder if there was something more to this friendship. 

And as he continued to drive, all he could hear was Santiago’s voice before you and Frankie left. 

“You take care of her,” Santiago whispered, keeping his hold on Frankie as they remained in a hug. “She’s gonna need you.”

“Pope–”

“I’m serious, Fish. Be there for her.”

“I will,” Frankie nodded.

“That woman loves you so much,” he chuckled, pulling away. “I don’t even think she realizes it.”

“She loves all of us, man.”

“Yeah, but not in the way that she loves you.”

Frankie glanced over at you once he pulled up to your childhood home. He put the car in park and couldn’t help but notice that you hadn’t even looked in his direction the entire drive. He wasn’t sure if what Santiago said was true, but he knew that he couldn’t cross that boundary with you, and he certainly wasn’t going to take a chance on something that was possibly far from the truth. 

“Hey,” he said quietly. “I’ll be right here with you, okay?” 

When you finally turned to look at him, Frankie noticed your eyes were red and your lips were the opposite of what he was used to. You weren’t smiling. You weren’t happy. You were grieving and Frankie didn’t know how to handle that. 

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

“I’m staying.” 

“There’s gonna be a lot of people crying.”

Frankie shrugged. “It’ll be fine.” He didn’t want to admit to you that death had been something he had gotten used to. Being in the military, he had seen his fair share of dead bodies, had lost plenty of friends along the way, and he had become numb to it. “Come on…” 

You nodded and climbed out of the car. Once Frankie was standing in front of you, you immediately wrapped your arms around him, crying into his chest as he held you. He didn’t like seeing you like this, didn’t enjoy the feeling in the pit of his stomach that gave him a clear understanding that his feelings for you were not just something a friend would feel towards another. This was different. 

And throughout the weekend, Frankie had become part of your family almost instantly. Despite the constant crying from your other family members and especially from you, he had been your anchor, keeping you grounded. He had met your parents, met your grandma, and it almost felt like he belonged here, with you. 

“Grandpa would have loved him,” you heard your mom say, watching as Frankie and your grandma were talking with each other. 

“I think so too,” you replied. When your mom wrapped her arm around you, you leaned in almost immediately. “He’s great, the rest of the guys are.”

Your mom smiled, looking down at you and back towards Frankie and your grandma. Frankie had managed to make her laugh and while you weren’t sure what they were talking about, you found yourself so enamored with the way he was so gentle and so caring towards her. 

“You love him,” your mom said. 

“What?” You asked, shaking your head. “No way. He’s just a really good friend.”

“You’re lying to yourself, honey.”

“Mom,” you sighed. “We’ve known each other for three years, so of course we’re gonna get close and –”

“I’ve never seen you look at a man like that,” she said. “Not even with your previous relationship and I thought you were gonna marry the guy.”

You rolled your eyes. “Mom, Frankie’s just a friend. Besides, even if I did love him, I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“But what if he loves you too?”

You arched a brow. “He doesn’t.” But that would certainly change things. “We’re just friends.”

“Sure,” she chuckled, kissing your temple. “If your grandpa was here, he’d tell you the same thing.”

“I miss him, a lot,” you whispered, tears stinging your eyes again. “Hard to believe that he isn’t here anymore.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I know.”

Frankie had glanced over in your direction, flashing you a small smile before he turned his attention back to your grandma. Your mom noticed this and smiled, gently nudging you. “He’s a good one.”

You nodded in agreement, “he is.” 

Once you had said goodbye to everyone, you and Frankie were making your way back to the airport. It had been a weekend filled with a lot of tears, but also plenty of laughter as you and your family reflected on the moments you had with your grandpa. It also helped to have Frankie with you and seeing how he so easily fit in with your family made you reflect on what your mom had said. 

“But what if he loves you too?”

—

Present day

You were anticipating the guys coming to the bar, like they always had, but every time the door opened and it wasn’t them, you were met with disappointment. You didn’t know when everything changed, but you did have an idea that it might have had to do with their “boys trip” to Colombia. 

Throughout the rest of your shift, neither guys had shown up. So, when you had clocked out and left the bar, you made a note to visit Santiago. If anyone would tell you what’s going on, it would be him. It was late, but you knew that the guys had trouble sleeping, the cause of it due to being in the military. 

After twenty minutes, you parked your car along the curb to see Frankie’s car in the driveway as well. Confused, you walked up to the front door and knocked on it twice. It wasn’t long before Santiago opened the door and a confused, yet surprised, look spread across his features.

“Santi,” you said. 

“You okay?” He asked. “It’s late and –”

“We gotta talk.”

“Now’s not a good time.”

Then, you heard Frankie’s voice. 

“I think now’s the perfect time.” 

Santiago sighed and nodded, opening the door even further to let you in. Once inside, you walked towards the living room to see the rest of the guys – not only Frankie – sitting at the couch. 

“Wow,” you said. “So, this is where you guys go now.”

Frankie cleared his throat. Will and Benny looked at each other before turning their attention to you.

“We were going to stop by, but–”

“I don’t care if you guys don’t come to the bar,” you sighed, interrupting Benny. “But what I do care about is why in the hell you guys are acting so differently.”

Santiago had entered the room, leaning against his bookshelf. He glanced at the rest of the guys and sighed. He had to speak first. 

“Nothing’s going on,” Santiago said. “We just – It’s been a year since Colombia and we all just wanted to talk about it.”

“Ah, your boys trip. Where’s Tom, then? I haven’t seen him.”

The guys shared a look. It was a sad one. A look of regret, of disappointment, of failure. 

“Okay, I get it. You don’t wanna share the details, that’s fine. I’m not going to pry, but I just –” you sighed, your eyes falling on Frankie as you continued. “I just care about you guys and want to make sure you’re all okay.” 

“We’re fine,” Will said. “It’ll be fine.”

“But –”

Benny shouted. He had been four drinks in and was definitely feeling the effects of alcohol. “You don’t know what we’ve been through, what we’ve seen, what we’ve had to do! So please,” he said, shaking his head. “Don’t act like you can fix us.”

You cleared your throat. You weren’t expecting that and you were about to say something before Frankie stood up. 

“Let’s talk outside.”

“No,” you shook your head. “I’m okay. I didn’t mean to come in here and act like I wanted to fix you guys, so I apologize if it seemed that way. I do care about you all and I just – You’ve always been there for me. I figure I should at least return the favor, especially when I can visibly see how much all of you are hurting.”

Will gently shoved Benny, shaking his head. “Don’t listen to him,” he replied. “He’s not – We’re not okay, but we will be.”

You always knew Will to be the honest one out of the group and you gave him a nod in appreciation. You glanced over at Santiago and Frankie, biting your lower lip. 

“I’m just gonna go.”

Santiago called your name with a quiet sigh. “Listen, if we could tell you, we would.”

“I know,” you whispered. You spared another glance at Frankie, watching him sit back down. “Have a good night. I’ll see myself out.”

You didn’t bother to wait for a response. Instead, you turned on your heel and left Santiago’s house, shutting the door quietly behind you. Once you were in your car, you felt tears threatening to fall from your eyes. You let out a shaky breath and pulled away from the curb, making your way back to your apartment. 

“You should go check up on her,” Will said to Frankie after you had left.

“Why me?”

Santiago and Will shared a look, but it was Benny that spoke up.

“Because she loves you, Fish.”

“No,” Frankie said. “If she loved me, why’d she let me get married?”

Santiago shook his head. “Idiota.”

“What?” Frankie asked. 

“That woman has been by your side since the moment we met her five years ago and you’re telling me that the love she has for all of us is the same love she has for you?” Will replied, quietly chuckling to himself. 

“She didn’t want to ruin your friendship,” Benny spoke up, grabbing his beer. “She didn’t want to ruin something because she never knew how you felt.” 

“And let’s be honest,” Santiago added. “You love her too.”

Frankie tightened his jaw. All of the guys were right and it pained him to realize that he had let his fears – and yours – get in the way of what could have possibly been something great. 

“She’s one of my best friends,” Frankie replied. “Of course I love her.”

“Maybe,” Santiago said. “But you love her more than that.” 

“Go get her, Fish.” Will added. 

“She’s not gonna wait forever.” Benny chimed in. 

“She waited five years and watched you marry someone else… There’s gonna come a time, Fish, where she realizes that it might be better to move on,” Santiago finished. “You really gonna let her get away?” 

Frankie glanced over at Santiago. All he could think about was the endless amount of times where you had been there for him and especially the time where he had flown you to California after your grandpa passed away. It was odd to him how easily he fit in with your family and how at home he felt. 

Even with his ex-wife, he hadn’t ever felt like that. 

But with you? With you, it was different. Frankie felt like he could be himself, like he didn’t have to constantly impress you (or your family). With you, Frankie could let his guard down and be absolutely vulnerable with you and he hadn’t realized how much that meant to him until now, five years later. 

“I’m gonna call an Uber,” Frankie finally spoke up. 

“Finally!” Benny laughed, a stark contrast of how he had just reacted when you were here. 

“Go get her,” Santiago smiled. 

“Atta boy,” Will said. 

—

You had changed into your pajamas, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and shorts. Your hair was put in a hair clip and you had finished heating up your leftover pizza when you heard a knock at your door. It was well after midnight and you carefully looked at the peephole to see who it might be, but when you saw Frankie standing on your porch, hat sitting on his wavy locks, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, you felt your heart leap at the sight of him.

Slowly opening the door, he raised his eyes to meet yours. 

“Hey,” he said. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” you replied, opening the door even further for him to come in. Once he stepped inside, he removed his boots and glanced around your apartment, smelling the aroma of pizza. 

“Frankie –”

“Is that –”

Both of you let out a quiet chuckle. 

“You go first,” Frankie said. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Frankie sighed. “Honestly, I don’t know,” he let out a nervous chuckle. “On the ride here, I had an idea of what I was going to say to you, but now… Now I can’t remember.” 

“If it has anything to do about earlier with the guys, just know that I –”

“No,” he shook his head. “It isn’t about that. We – We have a lot of baggage and we all know you come from a place of love, but sometimes, we just don’t think we’re deserving of it.”

“Frankie…”

“Why did you let me get married?” He asked abruptly. 

“What?” You asked, biting your lower lip. “You were happy. Why wouldn’t I?”

Frankie stepped closer to you. There were plenty of times where he had been so close to you, but this time… This time was different. 

“But were you?”

“What are you implying, Frankie?” 

He reached out for you, his hand reaching up to gently cup your cheek. Frankie watched as you leaned against his touch, your eyes falling shut. 

“You have always been by my side,” he whispered, taking another step closer to you. Mere inches separated your bodies and his thumb gently caressed you. “No matter what, you were always there.”

You opened your eyes, looking up at him. “Because I care about you, about all of you guys.”

Frankie bit his lower lip nervously. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“Frankie…” you knew what he was referring to, what he was implying and as his thumb brushed along your lower lip, you let it part. 

Frankie didn’t reply, but instead leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. You melted into him, your arms immediately snaking around his neck as his arms wrapped your waist. He gently lifted you off the ground, moving his lips against yours. Pulling away after a few seconds, he set you back down your feet and looked into your eyes.

“I’m never letting you go.” 

---

@pedrostories​

[randoms-fandoms]

Hello! I was wondering if you could perhaps write a calamity trio x reader? More specifically, what would happen if all of the girls had a crush on the same person?

Omg yes this is such a cute idea :0 (sorry the reader won’t really be the focus 😅 it’s an Anne pov, and Marcy and Sash are still very much in it)

Warnings: none

Relationships: they have a crush on you👀

Anne, Sasha, and Marcy had grown more after returning from Amphibia— they had at least another year until Marcy had to move, as her disappearance had prompted her parents to put their plans on hold for a few months, meaning she could stay in California the time being— but even though the three of them were no longer geographically torn apart, conflicting schedules meant that they hardly had time to spend together.

However, now that the trio had begun the new school year, life had been going pretty well. The pestering questions from other students and even teachers were annoying, but easy to get used to. Things felt normal again.

Anne loved her friends a lot, but she also wanted to expand her circle a bit. That was kind of hard when everyone knew her as the superhero girl who defended the city from robots last summer, but her adventures in Amphibia had given her nothing if not tenacity.

Finally, after a month or so of having no one to hang out with during school, she met someone new. Someone who hadn’t seen her destroy a fleet of robots on live television over the summer.

Anne only had two classes with you, and you had separate lunch periods, but that was perfectly fine. You had sat together in class every day since you first started school there, and Anne had quickly made a habit of texting you often. Photos of Domino, memes, random thoughts— she found every excuse to text you. She even took a few cute selfies with you! Overall, your fast friendship was wonderful.

Weeks into this new friendship, however, Anne was beginning to realize something. Her feelings for you were… changing. She didn’t used to struggle with eye contact when you complimented her. She had never before turned into a blushing mess just from a hug. Suddenly, your every action had her overthinking.

“Anne? Are you listening?” An amused voice broke through her thoughts.

Anne looked up to see you staring at her, confused. “Oh, haha— sorry I was just zoning out.” Anne said, face burning. “What did you say?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the library after school to work on our group project.” You asked.

“Yeah totally!” Anne answered quickly. This is the first time they’ve invited me to hang out outside of school!

“Wait— I mean, I’d love to… but I have plans already. Sorry.” Anne said, frowning. She had forgotten that she and her other two friends were going to be hanging out all afternoon, and even sleeping over at Marcy’s house.

“That’s alright. how about Sunday? It’s due on Monday, you know.” You said with a little laugh.

Anne groaned. “I know, sorry. That sounds good, you can come to my place.”

“I’ll text you, okay?” You smiled as you stood up to put away your notebook and pencil. Anne hid her face; you thought it was funny, but really she was hiding how your sweet smile always made her blush.

Anne needed advice.

Marcy and Sasha were engrossed in conversation (something about a manga they both read; Anne didn’t quite know), but Anne was distracted. She sat on Marcy’s bed, scrolling through her album of selfies with you.

“Anyway, I’m going to get some snacks and change into my pajamas. You guys get comfy too!” Marcy said, plugging her phone into the charger by her bedside table.

Anne waited for Marcy to close the door before she unzipped her backpack and pulled out her overnight stuff.

“So how are you doing? It’s been a while since we’ve hung out.” Sasha made conversation while she walked into the adjoining bathroom to change.

Anne sighed. “Nothing bad,” she started, quickly pulling on her pajamas. It was just a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt, nothing like Sasha’s cute matching sweatsuit. Anne wondered if you would think she looked cute if she dressed up. “…I’m just a little… I don’t know. I feel kind of weird.”

“Well what’s up, girl? Having bad dreams again?” Sasha re-entered the room, taking out her ponytail, and lie down on Marcy’s queen sized bed.

Anne smiled softly to herself, getting lost in thought for a moment. She loved how Sasha was always so worried about her. Back when they had just barely gotten home from Amphibia, Sasha would stay up on the phone with Anne all night while she cried. Sometimes she was missing the Plantars, sometimes she was convinced one of Andrias’s robots was after her again, sometimes she was having a panic attack thinking about her own inevitable death— no matter how long it took, Sasha was always there.

“Anne?”

“No, I’m fine.” Anne said, a little embarrassed. She sat back against the headboard. “Just normal teenager things.”

“Great,” Sasha said, smiling and closing her eyes. “Can’t get enough of that. Lay it on me.” She said, getting comfy.

Anne laughed. Marcy walked back in the room, making her jump. Her heart was already in her throat, beating hard from the nerves of talking about her feelings (however roundabout).

“Hey guys! Sorry it took me a minute, I accidentally spilled the first bowl of chips.” Marcy said, shrugging. Sasha stood up and took a bag of candy from her arms, which were full of snack food.

“I’m surprised you didn’t drop more, with how much you’re carrying.” She replied, kicking a pillow out of the way so she could sit down on the plush carpet.

Marcy laughed. “Anyway, what are you guys talking about?” She said, relaxing on the beanbag chair next to the outlet where her phone was charging. She put the arm full of snacks on the ground between her and Sasha.

Sasha looked at Anne, waiting for her to answer.

“Oh, haha, I just wanted some advice.” She blushed. “I think I might… have a crush on someone.” She looked away, laughing awkwardly while Sasha and Marcy freaked out.

“Oh my god, that’s great!” Sasha smiled widely.

“Are you gonna ask them out?” Marcy asked, gasping. “You have to tell us everything!”

Anne grinned self consciously, thinking about you. Asking you out. “Well, we met at school, and I really like them…”

“Is it someone we know?” Sasha asked teasingly.

Anne shrugged. With how new they are to the school, what are the odds that they’ve met my two only friends? “Maybe. Anyway, we’ve been friends for a while, and suddenly I just can’t think straight when I’m around them… I’m worried that if I don’t say something and get it off my chest, they’ll notice, and— I don’t know, it would just be embarrassing.” Anne ranted.

Sasha nodded seriously. “Classic story. Not to worry, though, Marce and I have tons of experience with crushes.”

Marcy laughed nervously. “Sasha, you said you wouldn’t tell!” She lightly punched Sasha, who ignored her.

“Anyway, who is it?” The blonde asked. She took a handful of chips and ate them, casually relaxing against the pillows on the floor.

Anne, still sitting on the bed, leaned down to whisper in Sasha’s ear. She was pretty confident that she wouldn’t even recognize your name, but the other girl gasped as soon as she said it.

“No. Freaking. Way. Marcy you would not believe this— Anne likes the same person you do!”

Anne’s heart dropped. “What?” She distantly registered that Marcy said the exact same thing at the exact same time. She would have laughed if she didn’t feel so… weird.

“We eat lunch together like every day.” Sasha explained to Anne. “Marcy has a huge crush on them.”

“You do too!” Marcy accused, embarrassed, making Sasha blush.

“Whatever, at least I can act normal about it!” Sasha argued.

Anne felt an unfamiliar twist in her stomach. Jealousy. They hang out every day? She frowned. She wondered if Sasha was as confident and flirty with you as she was with her sometimes.

“So we all like the same person?” Marcy clarified, after a moment of tense silence. “I didn’t really think they would be your type,” she said to Anne.

“I didn’t even know I had a type!” Anne said, a little exasperated. She had never felt so strongly about a crush before. She thought about your laugh, how you teased her sometimes, how she had picked out a nickname for her…

Sasha for once didn’t really have any advice. “Well who do they like?”

Marcy shrugged. “They always avoid the question. I’ve tried asking.”

Anne was shocked. “Really? You guys talk about that stuff?”

Sasha giggled. “Yeah, some of us are better at hiding our feelings.“

Anne rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She paused for a moment. “…Are you guys going to ask them out?”

Sasha shrugged. “Maybe. Should I?”

Anne thought about that. Now that the initial surprise had worn off, she found that she wasn’t upset that Marcy and Sasha liked you. She wondered if you would be interested in dating all of them. The trio had shared everything with each other ever since they had first become friends… come to think of it, Anne found that she liked the idea of all of them dating you.

“I think we all should.” Marcy said, smiling. “How should we do it?”

“Let’s FaceTime them,” Sasha suggested. “I want to see how they react.”

Anne shook her head. She knew she was far too shy and awkward about the whole situation for that to end well. “How about just texting? We could create a groupchat.”

The other girls nodded. “Alright, sounds good!”

Marcy inviter you, her, and Sasha to join a groupchat. Anne snorted a laugh when Marcy renamed the chat to an emoji: 🫣

“Who wants to go first?” Asked Sasha, feeling nervous.

Anne just wanted to get it over with, wanted to know what you thought. “I will.” She quickly typed out a simple message and sent it.

You replied quickly, much to Anne’s relief.

I like you.

Me?

Why are you saying it in a gc?

Worrying that this was too weird, that you hated her now, Anne was already typing her apology when Sasha and Marcy replied.

Because I do too :D

Me too

Marcy squealed, dropping her phone and hiding her face. “Ah, this is crazy!”

Sasha laughed. Anne knew she was trying to play it cool, but secretly cared just as much. Anne herself felt sick to her stomach from nerves. Her heart nearly stopped when the notification that you replied came in.

Do you all wanna go on a date tmrw? We can talk abt it over lunch

I didn’t know u were friends :)

Anne sighed in relief, laughing. Friends is an understatement. She grinned, excited, hearing Marcy and Sasha celebrating around her. Her heart swelled with joy, glad that her two best friends would be there with her in this new relationship.

She was so caught up in her own emotions that she didn’t notice Sasha taking a selfie of the room, including all three of the girls in it. It popped up in the groupchat.

Anne clicked on the picture, seeing Sasha in the corner of the screen, Marcy waving with one hand and holding her phone in the other, and herself distracted and staring at her screen. Her face was absolutely glowing with happiness, cheeks darkened with a blush, staring fondly at your messages.

“Sash, that’s such an embarrassing picture of me!” Anne looked up, not really upset.

Sasha stuck her tongue out. “It’s cute. I bet our new lover thinks so too.” She said teasingly. Anne looked down at her phone again, still smiling.

Marcy came in for a hug. “First date tomorrow, Anne! Are you excited?”

Anne laughed, hugging Marcy back. “Heck yeah!”

“We should do a spa night!” Sasha said, standing up. “Marcy, do you still have those face masks I got for you? We’ll be absolutely glowing tomorrow.” She posed, making Anne and Marcy laugh.

“Of course!” Marcy replied excitedly. “I even have some nail polish; our signature colors!”

Anne couldn’t stop smiling as she followed Marcy and Sasha into the bathroom. She felt great. Despite things changing for her after she returned from Amphibia, the love she shared with her friends stayed the same. And now, they could all open their hearts up more, expanding that love, growing exponentially closer.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading about these dorks crushing on you :P have a nice day!

[bonesandthebees]

Hi Bee!

I really admire your work and I'm currently attempting to write my own fic, and I'd love to have some advice on writing stuff.

1) Do you have any tips for writing the beginning of a fic? I cannot figure out how to start writing with a decent sentence. It all falls apart when my fingers go on the keyboard.

2) Do you have any tips for pacing/plot/outlining? I still have barely figured out what pacing is, because I cannot tell when authors are like "oh I don't like this because I rushed the pacing". I literally can't tell most of the time, unless there is not any space to breathe between things that happen.

3) Do you have tips for writing surroundings and the parts of the paragraph that aren't dialogue? Like. How do I naturally fit the description of the area into the fic? And how do I naturally fit extra commentary into a paragraph that has dialogue in it, especially when it isn't the pov character's dialogue?

Again, adore your writing. I feel kind of awkward since I've never done an ask before; idk if there's some kind of etiquette.

Hope you're doing well!

-Royal :)

hi sorry it's taken me a bit to answer this one! I'm more than happy to give some advice!

okay so first off, writing the first line of a fic is borderline torture sometimes. it's so fucking hard. to me though it's kind of like jumping into a cold pool. you can stare at the water thinking about how cold it's going to be and how unsure you are, but then at some point you have to bend your legs and jump before you can overthink it or else you'll never do it. you have to just put something down for the first line.

one method I like employing when I'm really struggling is starting with a line of dialogue. it instantly throws the reader into the scene as they have to try and find out who is talking, what they are talking about, and where everyone is. an example where I used this is in the stars and their children, which opens with a line from tommy "Hey Wil, can you hand me the epli?" this tells us multiple things right off the bat. it establishes a character present in the scene (Wil) and that there's something different about this world from ours (epli—it makes the reader want to know what it is and why it's being handed to the character speaking)

other times I try to either start with a line that describes the setting ("The streets were crowded at this time of day." - everything else has gone wrong), or start with a line that describes the emotions of the pov character ("Lessons were the most unbearable in the afternoon." - under the hanging rose). basically, you're trying to find a way to throw the reader into the scene in one line. it's difficult, but try any of those angles and hopefully you'll think of something that fits. but again, it's jumping into a cold pool. you just have to put something down so you can start. you can always go back and change it later

okay putting the other two under a read more bc it got long

2. okay now pacing. that's a bit more difficult to help with because a lot of pacing is just getting a feel for it. one way is to just think about it logically. say you have two characters that start as strangers and you want to get them to be best friends. you can show them meeting for the first time, but then you often have to show them bonding before they can reach best friend status. there's pacing here both in the literal world of the story, but also in the text itself. you don't want to write them hanging out for a few hours and suddenly decide they're best friends (although ofc there are exceptions to this like if they're little kids bc, well, that is a thing little kids do where they'll declare a kid they just met their best friend), nor do you want to write them meeting for the first time, write a line saying "they hung out every day for the next three weeks until they were best friends" and then just act as though they're besties (again, there are exceptions to this in specific cases). it just feels weird yknow? It doesn't get the reader invested in this relationship because it doesn't feel like it's been earned. it's a similar thing with plot beats. you have to make it feel natural both in the world of the story itself, but also the timing with which you tell the story. like I said though, pacing is really something you just get the hang of naturally with practice. reading published novels will help as well because it'll help you get a sense of what good pacing feels like.

3. ohhhh you've hit a specific issue I had a lot when I was younger. when you have a dialogue scene going on there's a lot of ways you can balance the text outside the dialogue. ofc if the dialogue is going by at rapid speed, you can straight up just do the dialogue lines and you don't even have to specify who's talking if it's clear within the text

Ex:

"You can't come to my nuclear reactor, Tommy," Tubbo sighed.

Tommy scowled. "What the fuck? Why not?"

"Knowing you you'd find a way to cause a nuclear meltdown."

"Would not."

"Would to."

"Would not."

"Would to!"

"So what, you're a bitch who can't handle a little radiation?"

"Oh for fuck's sake-"

see how after the first two lines of dialogue where I established who is talking in which order, I stop using the tags all together? it's still clear who is talking because the dialogue is ping ponging back and forth. it's a fast-paced conversation, so cutting out the tags helps that effect.

but of course this is only the case in a few instances. most of the time, you do need lines outside dialogue not only to establish who is talking, but also to keep the characters present in the scene itself.

you have several options for what to include outside your dialogue. one of my go to's is always character actions.

"Don't you have one of those swimming pools you keep the nuclear shit in?" Tommy asked, leaning against the wall.

Tubbo pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes but before you ask, no, you can't go swimming in it."

there we include the action of tommy leaning against a wall after he asks the question, which is followed by tubbo pinching the bridge of his nose. this lets the reader see exactly what each character is doing, which can also establish the emotions each character is feeling without saying them outright. tommy is comfortable enough with tubbo to annoy him with his questions, which we see by him casually leaning against the wall. tubbo, meanwhile, is annoyed just like tommy wants, which we see by him pinching the bridge of his nose.

characters sitting down, standing up, wringing their hands in front of them, folding their arms over their chest, shrugging, curling their hands into fists, etc. are all examples of character actions you can include to give the reader the ability to picture the scene more accurately

then of course you have thought process and scenery description you can include as well. thought process is just including what your pov character is thinking as the conversation progresses.

"Yes but before you ask, no, you can't go swimming in it."

Tommy huffed and folded his arms over his chest. Tubbo was so fucking boring these days with his 'safety rules'. He'd nearly been nuked before and was fine! A little radiation wasn't going to hurt him.

that right there is a glimpse into what's going on in tommy's head at that moment. he's frustrated with his friend because he thinks he'd be fine swimming in the nuclear pool. it gives us more insight into the pov character and how they're reacting to the conversation at hand.

then for scenery description:

Silence fell over them as Tommy glared at Tubbo. Tubbo glared back, refusing to budge. Around them, the snow coating the ground glittered in the afternoon sunlight. Clouds of breath puffed in front of Tommy's face. An icy breeze wound between the buildings, making goosebumps rise along his arms. He tugged his sleeves down, still not breaking eye contact with his friend.

the conversation falls silent for a moment, so we take a moment to step back from the two characters. we look at the setting around us, which emphasizes the pause in dialogue and makes it feel quiet even to us as the readers. you don't have to restrict your scenery description to moments where a conversation takes a pause, but taking a step back gives a sense of a 'silence' to the reader even if it's brief. another example of this could be,

"Don't bullshit me, Tubbo. Why won't you let me see it?" Tommy asked after several long beats.

Clenching his jaw, Tubbo's eyes flickered to the ground. The snow beneath their boots was muddied. Tommy spotted a dead worm frozen against the hard earth.

Then, Tommy understood.

"You don't trust me anymore."

now let's see this a different way

"Don't bullshit me, Tubbo. Why won't you let me see it?" Tommy asked after several long beats. "You don't trust me anymore."

see how without all that extra description the pause feels much shorter? and with that shorter pause the weight of Tommy's next sentence loses it's emotional impact?

if you want to add scenery description to a dialogue exchange, imagine it like it's a movie. you have two characters that are talking, and suddenly the camera pans away from them to look at the setting around them. why does it do that? what effect does it have on the scene playing out? your words are the camera zooming in and out on the characters. there are a lot of ways you can use this 'camera' to change the rhythm/flow of a scene. you just have to play around with it to figure out how to use it

I hope that's helpful!