#If you dont understand why this is so dangerous I can explain why it's safe for walkers but not for bikers to do this

[tired-pinetree]

someone walking on left side of the road opposite to traffic: 👍good! staying safe ✅ easy to see and avoid while driving 🚸✔

cyclist following traffic and biking on the right side of the road: ok! ✅ staying safe 🤝 and predictable 🚲 👍 following the rules of the road 😊✔

cyclist biking INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC on the left side of the road, opposite of the flow of traffic: BAD 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♂️🚫 NO STOP 🚫⚠️🚳 Why Would You Do This you are going to get yourself KILLED ☠❌😨‼

[cyberkitty1]

Secrets

- he knows that the work he does is dangerous and could very easily all blow up in his face, but he wants.. no needs to keep you and the other two people he has in his life. He keeps his work away from home he doesn’t want you or his mother to figure out anything. But one small mistake and he releases his secret.

“ Where is he? “ you mumbled to yourself dressed casually ready for your pre-planned date with Miles. You guys where planning on going to small restaurants to eat at them go to him place for a movie. Checking the time on your phone your realize he’s an hour late late. He was supposed to pick you up at 7:00.

So you text him

y/n. where are u??? you where supposed to pick me up over an hour ago

seen

“ Are you kidding me? “. You stare at your phone waiting for a response but it doesn’t happen. you start to get frustrated, upset even. The tears build in your eyes as you tilt your head up to the sealing. This is the fifth time he flaked on you, in a row.

You decide to get undressed, no point in waiting anymore. Just as you where about to lay down and put on your favorite show, Bzzz he texted you.

miles. im sorry mami i got called in for work ill make it up to you

y/n. so work is more important than me now???

miles. dont start now we will talk later

y/n. sure

seen

She was mad, beyond mad angry. The thing that got to her the most was that he told her he would take her out not the other way around. Slowly the anger turned into sadness, why was he always working? Was this so called work even important? was he cheating? No he would never.

You where just so confused. You checked the time and saw is was already 10 o’clock, had you thought that much? You sighed brining the blanket up to your neck turning off the TV to watch tiktoks on your phone. He texted you multiple times but you where not in the mood to respond.

Suddenly you heard the familiar sound of your window being opened. You knew who it was but you didn’t want to look; continuing to face the opposite way.

You heard him close the window behind him and walk a couple steps. “I know youre awake” he said “ I never said I wasnt “ you spit back. “ well you werent even looking at my texts, whys that?” he questioned. You sat up turning twords him “ you know why! “ tears filling your eyes.

“I waited an hour for you to show up but you never did! I waited and waited until i gave up.” Miles sighs holding the bridge of his nose. “ im sorry you know that, I had work-” “ oh! so work is more important than me? Youre willing to ditch me so you can go do your so called “ work” you said doing air quotations.

His face hardens “alto, te dije cuando nos pusimos serios que mi trabajo me llama al azar. Whenever they need me I go” he sighed. You thought about what you were going to say next. “ Ok Miles, but i need you too” you tried to keep your voice even but failed, your eyes welled with tears threatening to fall. He sat next to you on your bed.

“Lo sé mami, lo siento, sé que puse el trabajo antes que tú, pero estoy haciendo esto para mantenerte a salvo, ¿verdad?.” You only stared at him. “ Keep me safe from what?” He closed his eyes taking a deep breath, and explained to you everything from the moment his dad died.

“ Solo lo hago para que mi mamá no tenga que trabajar tanto por dinero. Ella ya hace tanto por mí que necesito ayudar. Do you understand?” You turn and look at his brown eyes just as the moonlight hits them. His eye bags are dark his face is tired.

You know what he does now and for some reason you are not scared instead you feel for him. You had no idea he was going through all that he never told you.

You wrap your arms around his neck bringing him into a hug, in turn be wraps his hands around your waist head resting on your shoulder.

“ You’re not scared of me right mami?” He says quietly “never mi amor.”

This was not proof read that much sorry .

This is my very first writing on here so please be kind. I have more in the works so expect more soon 🤭

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

why i love the edwin-crystal sibling like relationship from memory and why it makes me love crystal even more

there simply isn't enough online about 1. how awesome crystal is as a character and 2. how awesome her and edwin's relationship is. so imma dump all my thoughts here from pure memory.

ep1: so yeah, they start rough. but when jenny points out to crystal that she's so focused on her own problems that she's ignoring everyone else's, just like how she said the boys did, she resolves to change that. she realized she was being unfair because it was pointed out and she decided to try and be better. when edwin breaks down, she's listening. she's listening and understanding. she tells this boy, who has not been the nicest to her but she's beginning to understand, that she gets it. that she sees him, that his unnoticed death matters to her. she sees the sharp, jagged, raw and emotional parts of a boy that she'd only seen as cold and logical thus far. and when his unusually timid voice asks if they can focus on becky's case, she agrees. in the butcher shop, she offers to once again explain the internet to edwin. implying that she'd already done so. and she says it without any condescendence. when she's knocked to the ground, edwin helps her up and they sort of cling to each other as charles is reckless.

ep2: not as much here from what i remember but there's still some stuff. edwin does actually commend her actions in luring the sprites out, followed by telling her not to do it again. from an emotionally repressed boy from a time when fixing each other's clothes was the most intimate thing you could do in public, thats quite a big step.

ep3: one of my personal faves. crystal is quick to point out that edwin is jealous of her and charles. she does actually assure him that nothing would happen and its just a small show of her care for his feelings. now, in the house, do they bicker and argue? yes they do. but i would argue that most of that is fueled by their anxiety and fear for charles. when crystal points out that charles has issues, he ultimately listens. its shown immediately the next ep when he tries to be better and offer himself as a safe space, something he wouldn't have thought to do without crystal's guidance. when they actually work together, its incredible. crystal literally fights her own personal demon to get back to the boys. edwin is trusting her enough to openly admit that he has no idea how a vhs works and trusts her to put in the work to save his person. when she's in danger, he pulls her out because he cares and she's given him reason to. she doesn't question when she comes out from her own head and edwin immediately asks for help, something he almost never does. when she talks about how she's a bad person, edwin immediately tells her that she isn't. he wastes no time in assuring her that she couldn't be anything but the person she is now. she also points out the moment charles' mask goes right back up and offers a lot of insight to edwin. because edwin hasn't really had a friend before charles and charles was already doing this when they met. he had no reason to think that it wasn't a normal thing. but crystal points it out and he notices, he listens and he learns.

ep4: this is another one i dont particularly remember much of these two from. the ep starts with edwin asking if charles wanted to talk about his father, something he never would have done without crystal's guidance. when edwin tells crystal and charles to go off together, she asks him if he's ok, which in the moment, is said in a somewhat joking tone. but once he's gone, she asks charles about it because she's concerned about him and she knows him well enough to know something's wrong. when she's angry that the washer woman didn't give her an answer, he apologizes genuinely because he does want the best for her.

ep5: this ep starts off with a lot of emotional maturity from crystal. she admits that she isn't in the right space to start a relationship and i'll be honest, i hadn't seen that from a show before. made me love her even more. one of my favorite moments of the show is them haunting twitchy ritchy. when he makes deprecating and homophobic 'jokes', crystal is quick to shut him down. and i would argue that she knew edwin was gay, i'd argue for hours. she notices his distress and immediately shuts the dude down, and hard. in return, when ritchy tries to be intimidating, edwin is the first to step in. he extinguishes the flame with a satisfied lil smirk and crystal didn't even have to look over to know that he would step in. and we don't really see it, but i'd bet watching edwin do childish little haunting things probably made her smile. it's a scene i think about all the time. when edwin shoos them away from the summoning and charles questions his choice, crystal sticks up for the decision. its small and unintentional, but there is an aspect where she admits that he's right. something she wouldn't do if she didn't like him and respect him. and when edwin realizes that marin killed the jocks, he's rushing out behind charles. hell it looks like he's pushing him forward to get them downstairs. crystal emphasizes at the end that she sympathizes with the boys, that it was a shitty thing to have in common that they were all victims. yet she offers her sympathy nonetheless. and when edwin says he's had enough emotion for the day, she isn't offended that he wasn't receptive or anything like that. she just smiles, knowing that he really can't handle a lot of emotions and she knows that he doesn't mean anything negative by it. she shows that she understands him and that she doesn't judge who he is.

ep6: when crystal loses her powers, she's scared to tell edwin. she says that she's afraid that he would consider her useless and toss her aside. but that stems from the fact that she really values him as a friend and is scared of being abandoned by the only people she has. and when edwin finds out, he is shocked sure but he's also concerned. he insists that he wouldn't have left her behind and she tells him that he would. its an emotional moment for her and i wouldn't write off that she's just really defensive in the moment. when she sees the boys in trouble, about to be dead-dead, that's when she regains her abilities because she cares about both of the boys and gods be damned if she's gonna let a witch tear them from her. and as the walk back, she leans into charles because she knows edwin doesn't like touch. but he's still right behind her, still nearby and offering silent support. and he goes the step of naming one of their plans after her, plain and simple. she shows her appreciation in the same slightly sarcastic tone they use with each other all the time.

ep7: so many thoughts. the second she finds out that edwin is in hell, she's already resolved to go get him. she has known the boy for a few weeks at most and she cares so much and is so selfless that she doesn't hesitate to volunteer to go to actual fucking hell. when she's told she can't? she tracks down her abusive demon ex who has literally tormented and plagued her mind nonstop. she walks right into his domain and demands he open her a door to hell. literally demands the person who has ruined her life to let her into hell to rescue her friend. when he refuses? she's ready to throw hands and doesn't hesitate to do so. and when the boys come back? yes, she does hug charles and not edwin, but she knows that isn't his thing. but when it cuts back to the teens after the night nurse speaks, you see her arm falling from edwin's. even though he hates hugs and she knows it, she still reached out and held his arm to show how happy she was that he was there, that he was safe. because even though he doesn't hug, she still needed to show him she was happy he was back. she talks about how she fought david and edwin expresses surprise and concern. her retort? 'it was the funniest thing. my friend got dragged to hell and i just had to try and help him.' she doesn't even think about hiding how much she cares and edwin's little smile just confirms how much it means to him.

ep8: when she's recovering her memories, edwin is there. he's watching over her with charles and that just hits something in me. he must have spent so long in the dollhouse exhausted, hoping someone would watch over him so he could be safe and rest. and when crystal is vulnerable, he's doing it. he watches over her as she calls her parents and the second she says that they didn't care, he is insisting that there must be some kind of explanation. every time she wakes up after eating the memory orbs, he rushing to her right beside charles. and i'd bet my bottom dollar he was stressed the whole time she was out. when crystal leaves, edwin does offer her a handshake. she jokes about how he's changed, how he's gotten friendlier, and he jokes back, even throwing in a reference to hell. it's a sweet little interaction and it shows their friendship and familiarity. esther takes the boys and she doesn't hesitate to work a way to get them back. she goes right to the cat king and argues that edwin is her friend and tck should help them because he has personal interest. she charges right into esther's house and already has a plan in place. she spends a minute on charles because she knows edwin's in danger and his screams are fucking unbearable. she offers herself as a distraction so niko can free edwin. when she's pinned against the wall, she scream-pleads for edwin to hold on and it is full of desperation, because she needs her friend to be okay. that scream haunts my mind because she is scared and she knows he is too, and she needs him to hold on and be okay. and when niko 'dies', they are huddled over her body and mourning together. in the end, edwin gives her a professional offer for her to have a permanent place with the agency. and this girl, so naturally full of love and affection, hugs him with a massive smile on her face. because she's been looking for people to belong with and she's found em and they want her around. and she's gonna do anything she can to hold onto them, come hell, demons or high water.

basically, crystal is beyond amazing and her sibling relationship with edwin is my favorite. if you don't like her, argue with the goddamn wall.

[mcbeetlebeeb]

I'm currently getting into a fandom that isn't homestuck, but I can't turn down a request :3

these will still be headcannons and- uhrm- yea

Gamzee Makara

He is, talking about some mystical shit dude

I think hed appreciate someone who just listens too him blabber

don't ask me why but he'd like to naw on you

not full fledged biting a chunk out of you

I think he's too aware of how sharp his teeth are to go biting down that hard, but yknow

nipping at you gently, but not before he was smothering you in sloppy clown kisses

this is real specific but I think hed have the type of eyes that you can't seem to keep eye contact with

he's just so much taller and just has this lopsided shiteating grin, that shows most of his sharp ass teeth

I'd like to think his eyes are always that half lidded gaze, especially when it's at you

but no intent behind the looks he gives, fuck- probably no thoughts either

lights on no one home

don't get me wrong, he's not dumb,

in the simplest sense hes a big ol airhead

yknow a dingbat, a bit of a scatterbrain

but he's not like- vegetable for a brain dumb as hell

and thats another thing, it's definitely really convincing to probably think that he's yknow, not all there

but it throws you off gaurd x2 when he'd get all close and murmur and mumble certain things too you

he looked like he had a maximum of 3 thoughts floating around in his brain

but here he is, mumbling in a low almost gravely tone, right by your ear

I love to think he's one of those tall people to rest his arm playfully on your head if your shorter, which you most likely are-

can't recall if I mentioned the last time sense I have a rubber ducky keeping track of my memory

but I think hed be cold all the time

not like, bothersomely fridged

but enough to make you shiver and squirm if he were to press his hand to your skin, noticeable enough for you to verbally go "Damn-"

also!! I think hed be a huge sucker for you just holding his face with your hands, letting him relax against you, eyes shut

still grinning a bit and letting that low rumbling purr come from him

and this also means playing with his hair,

pet him damn it he demands it

no, not really more like laying and being in your space, following you round until you pay attention properly too him

sense most trolls can't- yknow- go out in the middle of the day because of their intense asf sun, trolls are nocturnal

so like if you ever took a photo with him with flash his eyes would do that reflective thing that cats have

or for another example, yknow how in the dark the first thing you spot about your black cat is its eyes?

yeah that

like I said in the other headcannon thingy, he's just always lurking and looming, he likes knowing what your doing even if he's not involved

and this comes with him trailing around you like a dog that sees you have food and knows you'll give it too them at some point

wether it be from afar or close, don't assume he's not close by, him being a purple blood im sure he's well aware of how violent trolls can be,

but with you around! oh he can't let you wonder off too far- Alternia's atmosphere is dangerous and the fauna is even more dangerous-

so don't expect to go very far without him trailing behind you

but he'd understand if you explained too him you wanted time too yourself or with somebody else one on one

I dont think hed be a jealous person, maybe a lil possessive! but he's not overbearing with it

he just wants you safe and content, and he wants you too feel that way around him

have a song I think fits his uh? vibe towards? significant other? because 🎉

Dave Strider

mm have I said he's a genuinely a big goof?

but I think that'd be something someone gets right off the bat

maybe

if you can pick up on someone trailing off on tangents of meaningless words that can go on and on without someone actually ever responding

than it's pretty visable

I think itd be pretty adorable though (I know I'm gay, whatever)

like if he were to start talking about something, anything, and you gave a simple short response, he's gonna take that and run with it

especially if he likes you

I think hed definitely be one too stare

but how could you tell? he's always wearing those shades

probably a good reason why he wears them other than ironic purposes

so no one sees what or where or in this case who he's lookin at

constantly staring though, wether it's you having a conversation with you or, you doing something random he's just watching

no actual thoughts id like to say

just observing

watching you be you, do your own natural thing, picking up on the way you talk or gesture at stuff

I cannot urge this enough but I still firmly believe physical touch would be a very special thing too him

it's not impossible or looked down upon too be able to hold his hand or lean against him

but he'd be mentally noting each touch, each expression you make, listening intently too your tone, hoping your doing the same

but with these actions he'd be straight faced as always, but he can feel his hands tremble ever so slightly, he recognizes his heart beat picking up

unfamiliar with these feelings with how they're being presented yknow?

most times he ever feels this way he's in danger

but he knows he couldn't be safer right now, like he wants to believe that, it's not hard for him to believe it

but his body is just hardwired to tense up, clench his jaw and steady the shakey breathing

but being patient and respectful would melt those feelings away really easy I'd like too think

just sitting there and slowly showing affection, brushing thumbs against his knuckles, tracing over fingers

you focus on his hand, flipping it over and thumbing at his vaguely sweaty palm, hand still shaking faintly in your gentle grasp

he'd just stare at you, in disbelief and adoration, and realization that he doesnt need to be poker faced round you

that he doesnt need to put up a front to protect himself, the squishy parts of him he learned to shove away to get along with life

a big sigh of relief to say the least,

but once he realizes he doesn't need to be someone else for you, he can just be him, no expectations or demands, he can rely on someone else for once

you ain't ever gettin rid of him after that, he's not clingy but he's no longer keeping you at arms length, not now, not ever again

AND HE GETS MUSIC THING because he is my favorite right next too the crab man <3

author note: I feel this sucked a big booty buttload but I was already half way done with it when I dubbed it that, so have this anyway!!!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Various crps x reader w/ anxiety

Pretend I'm yapping away here.. as a side note does anyone have any easy dinner ideas? Or just meals in general

Characters: hoodie, eyeless jack, slenderman

Notes: reader is GN, based off of admins own experience with anxiety so it's not a reflection of everyones experience

CWs: mental health stuff

SLENDERMAN

hes always around to make sure youre in good health and not in danger, he may be a little lost on why youre feeling on edge for seemingly no reason

not much of a talker, but a good listener even if he doesnt always fully understand why youre feeling unwell

something something forest creature whos learning about humans in a more complex way my beloved trope

thinks you may be physically sick, tries to lessen the work load on you and keeps you in bed until you explain whats wrong

unless your anxiety is making you feel physically sick, then hes going to keep doing that so you can take it easy

eliminates any outside stuff that can worsen how youre feeling; media, people, and so on

will make you focus on just him if he has to

HOODIE

i still adore the headcanon that hoodie is pretty touch based when it comes to his partner, so as long as you tell him youre okay with him touching you when youre in a bad state, hes going to at minimum hold your hand

comfort squeezes

on the flip side if you dont want to be touched, hes going to be respecting that and keep his hands to himself

if you have any comfort items that hes aware of hes going to give them to you

if it makes you feel better, he may even take his mask off so you can better read him- he wants you to feel safe and at ease

will take you outside to get some fresh air as long as its not storming out

actually pretty good at enforcing grounding techniques for you when you inform him of them

EYELESS JACK

hes less emotional and more.. logical... if that makes sense. he doesnt mean to be blunt or dismissive, hes just more of a reasoner than a comforter

does his best to relate to you when your anxiety flares up, tries to talk you through it to see if theres anything triggering it... and if its "just because", then he does what he can to get your mind off of it

learns what works for you and what your triggers are as time passes, reacts accordingly in order to make you feel better

if you have meds he makes sure you take them, also general hc he also makes sure youre not mixing your meds with anything that could cause issues (other meds, alcohol, ect ect ect)

has his own struggles himself, though a lot of it is internalized and/or met with rationalizing it; hence the potential coldness in that first line

[starheirxero]

[rez]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway

Hope Castor can help Lunar.

Or atleast point him in the right direction.

I think Lunar is finally facing himself really.

And I understand wanting him out of the house but like- why are they surprised he ran away?

Thats like what Lunar does? He ran for months after he died, him running away is par for the course. And he was gone for three days because he was in jail? They didn't even accept that, they just got mad at him for running. As if Monty hadn't actually decided he was gonna kill Lulu.

Like Lunar would probably be dead if he'd stayed, or atleast injured.

'We do still love you and youre still our little brother'

-They say as they irepibly damage any and all trust Lunar had in them at the moment and in the future.

Moon I understand you want him to actually face consequences but there's no going back from this!

Lunar will never trust you, or anyone else in this family, again.

Castor pleasepleaseplease be the one who finds him.

Ohhh how I want to see more Pollux and Castor interactions bc as I said in another ask that idk if you received Cas almost seems to be avoiding talking to her specifically about Lulu.

That or Lunar gets kidnapped again.

More specifically by the creator so gem (or even just Cas) have to save him

But with Gemini separate there's also the possibility rez or someone else targets one of the twins while the other is away so thatd be neat.

ALL OF THIS NODNODNOD!!!!!!

I think Castor choosing to help Lunar while Pollux doesn't would be really interesting from a Gemini perspective. They're the twins, they make up one astral, one constellation together. If they truly become divided over this, I would be deeply fascinated to see where it goes from there since we got so used to seeing them as Gemini—a collective entity—rather than themselves.

And YEAH LIKE. Listen. I know that to the family, because they don't actually have the full picture, it looks like Lunar is just a loose canon that attacked Earth in a fit and then dipped. But also LUNAR TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT THEY WERE IN LITERALLY INCAPABLE OF RETURNING SOONER BC THEY WERE JAILED AND THEN REZ PUT THEM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLOBE. AND MOON JUST WENT "I DON'T CARE." LIKE CMON 😭 "why were you gone for 3 days" "i was jailed and then left in russia" "whatever i dont care" MOON WHEN I GET YOU.......

THE "I LOVE YOUS" BETWEEN IT ALL YEAH.

I'm sorry but no amount of "you are family and we love you" is going to lessen the blow of "you have basically been squatting in my house (that i invited you into and you've been paying rent for) and you're a danger to this entire family so I want you to never speak or get near any of us until you sort yourself out." ESPECIALLY WHEN MOON SAID "YOU'RE LUCKY I EVEN STILL CONSIDER YOU FAMILY" LIKE I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S WILD. Again, I understand Moon in this situation. That does not mean I don't think he wasn't insanely rude LMAO 😭

Exactly like you said, Moon cannot undo this. Lunar has always looked up to old Moon and so I cannot imagine how much more it hurts coming from him. I honestly can't imagine a clear future where Lunar is going to feel safe amongst their own family again, knowing that they all viewed them as dangerous enough to be kicked out. Honestly, I'm half expecting this to end up as "Lunar lives independently and then realizes they actually feel better not living around their family and that they were kinda awful for them on accident" HDKSHDJS

YEA MORE CASTOR N POLLUX INTERACTIONS WOULD BE GREAT...... Yesyes I have received ur other ask and I'm actually gunna answer it after this one but GHOD yeah. Seeing them disagree abt smth is so interesting and I need more of it....... If one twin is hurt tho,,,,,,, ouhg. The Angst........

[emeryhiro]

Hi. I love your analysis of the episodes and the trailer. I love what we got. But I don't quite understand why Daryl says that he and Isabelle talked so that the three of them could go to America. If she wants Daryl to stay, she manipulates him. If Daryl is angry and cold with her. where did this family "three of them together" come from. It's weird and destroys all my expectations for Caryl.

Hey Anon😊

Thank you for the kind words 🩵

Unfortunatly I can't give you a sure answer but I'll share and explain my opinion/thoughts on it.

I agree with you on the fact that this line feels out of place and doesn't really make sense in terms of where the story and characters are going.

To put it in simple terms I think this is just Daryl trying to have his cake and eat it too. But to be more specific, I believe that as he starts to see the cracks in the Nest's system, he'll also start to realise the danger that Laurent is in, and we can't deny that he cares for the kid and feels a sense of responsibility for him because he knows Laurent wasn't raised for that world and wouldn't really make it long without Daryl around to teach him.

We also know for a fact that Daryl wants to go home, cast and crew have said this many time, and Norman even said it again yesterday in their SDCC IGN interview (timestamp 2:15).

So we know that Daryl want's to go home, that he doesn't think he'd ever be happy in France, and that he can't stay in France, but we also knows that he can't leave Laurent behind while he's in danger, he's not that guy, especially with Genet's impending attack which Laurent would never survive.

If he can't leave without Laurent, his next best option is to take Laurent back to America with him and away from all conflict, somewhere where he knows he can get what he wants (being with his family), keep Laurent safe, and give him a regular childhood in the commonwealth. At the same time, however, he also knows that as long as Isabelle is alive, Laurent wouldn't leave her, and also Daryl wouldn't feel right separating a child from the only biological family he has left. Which is how I think he came to the conclusion that the best thing he can do is to take both of them.

I dont expect his plans for the "three of them together" to go anywhere. I think that's just Daryl being naive and overly pessimistic about what he can achieve.

Regarding how he feels about Isabelle, I know that he can sense he's being used and manipulated but it's now too late for him to get out of this on his own, he's now emotionally invested in Laurent and can't bring himself to leave him, which is what Isabelle wanted all along. I've mentioned this a few times before, and I'll say it again, I believe that the longer he spends away from Carol the more he regresses into his old self, and that version of Daryl would have accepted this treatment from Isabelle becasue he wouldn't have believe that he deserved any better. We see this same pattern of behaviour develop between Daryl and Leah when he was in the woods, searching for Rick, and away from Carol for years. I know there's a lot more to both these situations which I may write it's own post about instead of making my response here unberably long to read.

Once Carol and Daryl are reunited, he'll start to think clearly again, because firstly, Carol would see right through Isabelle and never stand for or allow the manipulation, and secondly, once Daryl see's Carol again, there will be no more distractions, he's mindset will heal and completely shift, and like always Carol will be his number one priority, not Laurent, not the Nest, and definitly not Isabelle.

Yes, he'll still want to help/save them, but never at the expense of Carol and her safety. I expect that there will be some conflict between Carol and Daryl, or as Norman describes it, some "bickering like an old married couple", which I guess would revolve around:

The two of them finally being reunited and having the chance to leave without further risk, and

Daryl feeling guilty about leaving before he resolves things at the Nest and making sure that Laurent is safe and set.

However, untimetly I think the choice would be up to Carol and Daryl would follow her no matter what she decides. And in her true selfless nature, Carol would never leave before helping the people that Daryl cares about, especially if she see's him so torn about it.

And also hypothetically, even if the 3 of them did make it back to the US/Commonwealth, Isabelle would never be able to manipulate and abuse Daryl again, not while he's around and empowered by Carol and the rest of their family.

~~~

I hope this makes sense, and that I explain myself well, I know I sometimes have the habit of getting carried away 😅 I completely understand your frustration, I sometimes feel that way myself but in circumstances like this where something seem's out of character I personally just try to both look at the bigger picture and delve into what I know about the character.

Please feel free to let me know you thoughts on what I've said, even if you agree or diagree, or if there was anything else you'd like to discuss. I always enjoy these discussions and seeing different persepctives🩵

[jazzybot4]

We're all going to need to get okay with being uncomfortable for a while.

So the next 4, 8, 12 years are going to be hard. They're going to be upsetting and scary and so hard. It's going to hurt and it's going to be the kind of environment that cooks us all in a slow simmer of despair.

Do NOT let the current corporate fascist power base have your despair. Despair makes you complacent. Things are going to be more expensive. Learn how to make your own things, so that you don't have to buy them. Make those things for your neighbors too. Find a mask design you like and wear it in public. You'll look like a weirdo but you can't afford to be sick, or get your family sick. Handsewing a mask takes a couple of hours but they're really comfy and satisfying. Make it a style point. Food is going to be more expensive. Figure out if your neighbors and you can go in on bulk food. Find storage at thrift stores, craigslist, anywhere you can think of. If you can dig it out of the ground, plant it as soon as the ground thaws. If you can get away with it and a neighbor is cool with it, see if you can start a backyard geurilla community garden. Be kind. Gods you do not have to be nice, but please be kind. We're all exhausted and afraid and angry and upset. Be kind, to yourself and to your friends. But also be kind to the conservatives who just got the same rug pulled out from under them as the rest of us. Every defeat from within their oligarchy-run political camp is a victory that we need to not rub in their faces. We need compassion, and we need understanding, and we need to show our neighbors that we are not fighting for our COMFORT but for our LIVES. A debate is when both parties are on the same playing field. An argument is when one side is fighting for their survival against the Devil that the other person is advocating for. Stop playing Devils advocate. He's had enough help and now we need to figure out how to get the Devil out of the hearts of people who don't need to love us, but who can and should respect us and vote with us. My favorite poem is also the most dangerous one I know. I think we all need to remember that this is not a mindset that requires other people to change. He drew a circle and shut me out Heretic! Rebel! A thing to flout. But Love and I had the wit to win We drew a circle, and took him in. Every single gab in the Hard Right rhetoric is a gap you can wiggle compassion into. Every single conversation about immigration, or queerness, or education, or security is a chance to ask questions and listen. Ask them how. Ask them why. Let them explain and don't try to talk over them or let them feel like you're just waiting for them to stop talking. Ask genuine questions to suss out what they're afraid of and why their fear matters more than your right to exist. Often, people won't have an epiphany. But it will give you the ability to figure out what they're afraid of, and offer them alternatives. These are not "Some Other People" who voted to put us all at risk. It's our neighbors, our friends, our families. People who love us but dont' understand that the way they vote will genuinely affect us. Let the Republicans bumble and blunder. Let them fumble and fuck up and propagandize. Every single slip is a chance for us to drag our loved ones out of their rhetoric and their voting block grip. We're able now to point out every single broken promise that is going to be made. We are poor. We are afraid. We have what the conservative base does not. We have patience, and we have compassion, and we must at all costs have hope. Even if that hope is small and afraid and alone. If you cannot be safe, then be free. Look them in the eye and ask why their freedom matters more than yours does, and watch them get angry trying to justify it with God or with Legislation or with Discomfort. Ask them why they think you deserve to die. Often the answer will make no sense, and it will be so extreme that you can look them in the eye and tell them that you don't want *them* to die, even if they hate you for being real, instead of the fantasy they're having about you.

Look out for each other. If you cannot afford it, make it. If you cannot make it, ask your community who can. If you can help, help. If you can be kind, be kind. Let's take our people back, because if we don't? This looks a lot like the world did, 4 years before world war 2.

[noxale]

Why people like "Ascension" from a psychological point of view.

\N: A message from me, the post itself starts with the word "START". Hi, It's not my post and it's not my words. But I think it would be helpful to understand it. I can see how the situation already seems better (?) maybe I just don't go on reddit. But I feel like this post just still needs to be. From myself I want to say thank you to all neutral, calm players and just those who have fun. Thank you Ascension scares\dont like a lot of people, but people aren't picking it because they want dom-sex (not the only reason for sure) and haven't understood anything "character theme" with their head. Things are different, complicated and there can't be just one theme. Everyone has their own emotions and life experiences. Stephen Rooney didn't dictate the character's theme like in class. Also, the BG3 game is positioned "...or make chaos in the world, you decide", "Great paths of evil". Hi's neutral Author to both endings. Evil and Good - you play hero or villain. Here's how I understand it.

layered and complex. For example: Poetic justice for neutral evil, in an evil way it is evil, and still complex (not black and white). Power (just any power) corrupts, ambition as Jupiter - dangerously. Freedom is nice, permissiveness - not so much (but this game is all nice).

But that's not what we're talking about. Here's a little essay, (a little emotional, but emotions are like that) why people do "Ascension" from a psychological point of view. START\\\

You know what, i wrote this "little" essay and decided to leave in some treads on Asc Astarion, because I got triggered and annoyed by this drama enough to feel like i need to share some thoughts about toxic vampire love thing in name of education for everyone. If you like it, feel free to repost it anywhere you want. (\\\N: which I do)

So, what this dark romance fantasy is about for me personally, (even though i prefer spawn romance, i absolutely understand the appeal of asc Astarion because honestly, i was all about this kind of romance during my childhood and teenage years, hardocore the Phantom of the Opera girl is here, inside your head) and why it's also healing route for some players, and no, it's not about kinky vampiric banging.

1) A lot of people feel extremely worthless and insecure, lonely, like no one really cares for them at all. It's a very deep wound that hurts and it's difficult to overcome even in perfectly loving, healthy and supportive relationship with a good partner, and even with therapy. So fantasy about a vampire, being obsessed with you so much that he is ready to do absolutely anything just to be with you for forever is really comforting. Also, you don't have to think too much about your imperfections, because for him you like a center of his vampire heart. Besides, you sympathise with him - it's like a selfcomfort mirror, i love this monster despite everything, so in a way, i accept myself despite any flaws i see in me. 2) Safety. When the world around you feel like a wilderness, full of monsters, it feels like only the most terrifying loving monster can protect you from it. He is powerful and protective, and i am so precious to him, that he will set the world on fire just so i would be safe. 3) Responsibility. As you may see, this kind of relationship have daddy issues vibes and codependency, and in real life, you can't just fully submit safely to anyone, I don't think i have to explain why it's a dangerous idea to seek this kind of relationships in real life. You have to stay a grown up independent person and seek safety for yourself without expecting someone to come and heal all your wounds. But this is fantasy, so finally you can use this as a comfort fantasy with no fear about being taking advantage of, without shame to be called childish and etc. 4) Independence. Spawn ending is very terrifying for anyone who has issues with feeling safe and independent, because some of us prefer violent power fantasies over "we have each other and that's all that matters", second of all, this ending also has some shady co-dependency undertone to it that can be triggering for some people. I love Spawn Astarion a little bit more more than Asc and yet my heart stayed absolutely broken after running away from the sun scene, and i hate that he is so dependent on Tav. Larian owes me some emotional refund after this.

5) SA trauma: it wasn't even seen as possibility for healing way by writer, but it is for some. Asc Astarion feels like he is the most powerful creature in the world, and he is fully controlling everything that happens between him and Tav, so finally, it's a kind of situation where there is no chance of him being abused again. It's one of the reasons why some people become Doms in BDSM-dynamic relationships: finally, full control of the process and a partner, who trusts then enough to fully submit, trust issues is also big deal in Astarion story of healing. I find idea that that only Subs can enjoy Asc Astarion a little bit naive. Because, well, some news for you: Doms like it too because they understand why he is so eager to be a top :D Unrealistic, not the healthiest way? Probably! But this man and this love is not real anyway. Yes, i think many of us, especially folks who went through therapy and a lot of self-reflecting are already aware that it's basically romanticized version of narcissistic obsession and in real life this is creepy, but it's not real, it's a fantasy. People use BDSM to heal, romance books and all other forms of art to deal with their inner demons and it's absolutely normal. Even if someone is blind to see what is wrong with Asc Astarion, I highly doubt that toxic bucket of shame and aggression are able to help see anyone problematic side of things. Do you know who is usually up to romanticize toxic dynamic in romance? Victims of abuse. In real life, if you just scream and yell at any poor girl/boy/whatever about how stupid they are for believing that their abusive partner really loves them, people will either break down and cry or tell you to f!ck off and they will have every right to do so, but they won't see what's wrong with their partner,in whom quite often victims of abuse see their only source of love and safety in life. Hells, I am so sick and tired from this "white cloak knight saviour from cycle of abuse" toxic flood in this fandom. If you really want to educate people - do it with extreme care and compassion. Real life healing is not working like it's with Astarion in the game,few right dialogs and boom, dude is on the right path. It takes enormous amount of patience and love, be kind to one another, and stay safe, darlings. Being toxic on Asc fans you are not helping anyone, you just hitting your superiority complex button in your ---. To heal others with their lethal dose of poison, it's hilarious /Sorry for the wall of text, sorry for grammar, English is not my first language/

\N: That's it. I hope this essay makes someone realize that those who choose Asc also have deep feelings, thoughts, and personal experiences in life. They have the right to think differently deep than most about video game, history, and any art. And discussing the canon to in different ways. It's Dark Fantasy, complex topics. So especially The Canon. I am enjoy learning new, different opinions. Also I hope this helps anyone who has felt uncomfortable with the toxic wave. I'm going to try very hard not to look at the responses to this post for my personal calmness. All the Best\

[future-dregs]

A little Wincest Wednesday question for you ~

What are your top five favorite “those brothers are weird and codependent about each other” moments in show. Can be something big like soul selling OR some small micro moment that you are just personally attached to.

In no particular order, because I just don't think I can sort them that rigidly, here they are-

When Dean took those pills after Sam died in Red Meat. He did his job, and he saved who he could, but he's so obviously thinking only about when and how he can fucking kill himself the fastest to get Sam back. And he's so messy about it, slamming that pedialyte. He's got it down to an efficient practice at this point.

In Plucky Pennywhistle's when Dean is splitting up tasks between he and Sam and Sam has to go to Plucky's. "Why dont I uh why dont I just wait for you to get back" as big and as strong as he is, as much as he's gone through at this point, this is still a fear Sam has, and when he's afraid, he wants Dean. Because no matter what the logic says about it, he feels like Dean will be THE THING that protects him and keeps him safe. No matter what the danger, if Dean's there, then nothing that bad can happen to him.

Dean's "I'm gonna say this one time, you make a move on him and you'll be dead before you hit the groun, you understand me? I mean do I make myself CLEAR?!" In Croatoan. I dont think I need to explain this one, but I love it when either of them, (but in this case Dean) get backed into a corner about the other and their teeth come out.

The doublemint twins! I understand talking to your sibling about sex, or the people you've slept with, but who purposefully gets their attention before stripping off their partner for the night in front of the window so your brother, who is sleeping in the car so that you can have an incest threesome, can see the naked silhouette of the girl as you kiss her? And who WATCHES?

And then I think I'm going to pick Sam's "separate rooms? 🥺" fumbling the keys reaction to hearing that, in his late 30s(? I dont remember how old they were at this point) he wouldn't be sharing a room with Dean.

This was really hard! A great question, but I was surprised how difficult it was for me to cherry pick examples. It took me a long time to narrow it down.

Honorable mentions go to Sam asking who he thinks is his coworker (that he's barely talked to) to run off and kill things cross country with him while living off of scams and motel rooms, and Sam and Dean killing Ruby in what I always thought was an uncomfortably sexual way. (Maybe that's just me being a freak but Sam holding her from behind while Dean stabs her low in the belly? It's like sex by proxy expect that this time its murder, which also sometimes is a standin for sex..) and Sam's busted arm stringy haired "WHERE'S MY BROTHER!!?" And Dean's "You left me to die for a GIRL??" + Sam's hatred of Benny.

[bastardiary]

just watched 50 shades of garbage for the 1st time ever and Grey is a TERRIBLE PERSON AND DOM

okay get ready for the long rant ahead.

pls keep in mind i have never personally participated in a bdsm relationship or a scene so my opinions n knowledge r limited. take it with a grain of salt.

Grey is a shit dom in my opinion cuz he doesnt perform after care to Ana. he just puts her to bed and does not get her water or food or reassurance.

He's also very inconsistent n doesnt follow through with his words. he keeps giving her mixed signals and doesnt stick with one thing. a dom should be stable n safe. No wonder Ana feels confused n cries. cuz he starts to act like hes in "love" with her. but switches up and says something cringe like - with his dumb daddy dom voice - "if you were mine you wouldn't sit straight for a week" or some dumb shit.

ALSO. I hate how he doesn't explain shit. he's so vague and serial killer esque. he doesnt explain WHY he wants to inflict pain on her (i know theres 3 movies in total stfu). And I expect a dom to be straight forward from the beginning and be open and vulnerable to see if his sub can be a match and so they're on the same page. as far as ive seen they havent done anything like this. they just did stupid activities and fucked with music playing over it like a montage. no sincerity, vulnerable or anything. I know hes a shit Dom. He's a terrible Dom. because if he wasn't. at least one those 15 women would've stuck around or some shit.

I don't get why he goes to a normal girl, who's 21 at the youngest, n asks her to be his sub??? Boy, go find yourself a sub to match your freak. LEAVE HER ALONE. he's fucking rich. he has the resources to connect with communities and like minded people who do bdsm.

also, he doesn't understand boundaries, like the gift giving and flying to where she was at georgia and being a fucking weirdo abt her going to see her mum. get your shit together, manchild. OH AND BREAKING INTO HER HOUSE!!!! serial killer alert!!!!

Instead of getting therapy, he terrorises Ana. SHES A VICTIM.

AND OH THE POWER IMBALANCE. DISGUTING.

he gave her a freaking car as a gift and is a top donor or some shit at her university and is a ceo and millionaire. And we dont find out his age in the movie either. super freaking weird.

Also, i had to skip all sex scenes because grey and ana have the chemistry of paper mache voodoo dolls. I don't understand what he finds attractive or appealing abt her other than she's pretty. she has no personality bro. and he doesn't either. he's just closed off and rich and traumatised. mfer was abused at 15 and STILL TALKS TO HIS ABUSER!!!!!!!!!! He's ALSO a VICTIM. Get this man fucking therapy.

This film overall is garbage and damaging to society.

dont get me wrong. bdsm is fine as long as its done safely and consensually n shit. but this movie just made me angry cuz its dangerous in its message.

[benny-the-spaceman]

smthn ive been thinking about a lot more recently is how much symbolism not just tlm 1 but tlm 2 have in relations to outliers or ppl who are different in society and how theyre treated or how they treat others. this has been explained to death by ppl much more eloquent than me for tlm 1, but i don't see it get discussed as much with tlm 2, which is probably just me not looking as hard as i could but i still feel like talking about it because it means a lot to me (more under the cut bc it's a rambling kinda night)

one thing with tlm 2 that i noticed pretty recently (like earlier today recently) is how "the oppressed" in a sense become "the oppressor" and, from personal experience, that feels a lot like how older generations of oppressed groups treat younger generations when they dont assimilate. im only going to speak from my own experience, because i know how often this type of stuff can vary from person to person but as someone with mental disabilities and as someone who's japanese-american, there's so many similarities between how the other master builders treated emmet in tlm 2 and how older generations have treated me and other people I know. like when emmet was being cheery and, well, himself, the other master builders and townspeople shunned him, because they learned that acting like themselves was bad and would hurt them. Similarly, i always learned that idea of "being yourself" or "embracing your culture", but as i got older all of a sudden the same people tell me i cant, or that it's dangerous, or weak, or dumb, or lazy, etc etc because they were taught that through their experiences. And as much as it can be understood why theyd want to do that, most of the time they feel like it's protecting you, just like how the master builders felt telling emmet to toughen up was protecting him, it often just hurts you. In my case, it created a huge disconnect between me and my culture that I'm still working to fix and it's made me only very recently realize how much of myself ive hidden or dont understand because of the disorders I have. I think it's all part of why emmet as a character resonates with so many people, myself included. He's really the best example of how suppressing individuality can hurt someone, and him going against that and showing that being himself is ok is something that's almost healing in a way. It rly feels like he's telling us that we can do that too! that being ourselves isnt something to be ashamed of or hidden and that hiding those parts of ourselves hurts us more than it helps!!

Long story short, emmet's character, in the 1st movie of course but in 2nd movie especially, really resonates with me, both as someone with mental disorders/disabilities and as a 2nd generation japanese immigrant. those themes of suppressing yourself to fit in and being told constantly that was the only way to be safe really hits different when youve been told similar things your whole life. It's part of why i cry when i watch both movies, because emmet's character understands that in a way i could never articulate before. He's rly a masterfully written character, and he deserves all the love he gets for being such

Anyways that's the end of my little ramble, have a cookie for making it this far 🍪 and have a good day/night 🫶

[kylejsugarman]

Idk if you’ve answered this already but at what point in their relationship did Jesse tell Demi ab his past? How did that go over? How much does she know?

ive mentioned it some before but i haven't really gone super in depth!! as u all may know, i am very "and then everyone made it to alaska and everything ended up ok!! :)" minded, so i dont have a big dramatic revelation beat to my story and ultimately, jesse never tells demi that he's living under a completely new identity. however, he does tell her a Lot of other things, partially because he trusts her, partially because he feels guilty keeping things from her that might make her see him differently; he feels that she deserves to know how fucked up he is so she can escape him and avoid tying herself down to a mistake. jesse first tells her about his drug use after demi explains how her sister died, again out of that guilt and the expectation that she won't want to associate with a former(ish) addict, but demi saw firsthand how powerful addiction can be and isnt scared off. when it comes to his criminal history, it takes him a little longer to work up the nerve to disclose that stuff: he's afraid of both endangering her by letting her know what he's done and losing her. he drops a few things along the way, usually related to drug dealing and production since she was so understanding of that aspect of his past, but once they decide to get married, he feels that he owes it to her to be totally honest. the dark details of making and selling the drugs, being around violence and controlling figures. enacting violence himself. losing people. being sold into slavery. he leaves out specific identifying details (demi's never been a current events kind of person but he cant risk her connecting those dots) and places a lot of the blame on himself instead of trying to describe the people from his past who were pulling a lot of those strings. its basically an abridged version of the show's events, no names, no details in certain places (he doesnt even tell her which state he used to live in), and no forgiveness.

demi listens patiently the whole time, not asking many questions along the way. she tenses up when he touches on captivity, but otherwise her demeanor remains open and nonjudgmental. when it's over, she doesn't say anything, which is somehow worse than disgust. jesse is so wound up at this point that he flips out on her, insisting that this is her time to cut her losses. he's a criminal, a fucking murderer. he's evil. demi still doesnt react the way he wants and instead just waits until he's out of venom before reaching out to very gently smooth down his hair. petting the angry, upset dog instead of reflexively giving him away. "im sorry you've had to carry that around with you all this time," she says softly and that breaks him. because it Has been so hard carrying that around. demi asks a few more questions, clarifies a few more things, then tells him what she thinks. that she's seen how he acts now, how he treats people, how he treats himself. that she grew up with a father who sounds like the figures he alluded to in his story. that she is uncertain and insecure about a lot of things, but she's never been more sure that jesse is a good person and that she loves him irrespective of whatever came before. "im dangerous," he insists, a former fighting dog that would rather die than return to the ring. a hand on his own—"then why do i feel so safe with u?"

it's not perfect. there will always be things that jesse never shares with her and he will never totally forgive himself because as the one living person who knows the Extent of what went down, he feels that it's his responsibility to hold himself accountable for It for the rest of his life. demi's perception of him Does change, although not entirely in a negative way, and she is a little hurt that he expected her to bail so quickly and she can't lie and say that her mind doesn't occasionally drift to the fact that her husband has killed people. but at the end of the day, they're two broken people who were utterly convinced that their lives were over before they found each other. this is their second chance at life and they're never going to take that or each other for granted. whatever comes, they're going to face it together

[uhhhitsme]

The song thing, can I get number 104 please??

remembering why i added this song is always like a puzzle because i am a fool who simply does not understand andrew john hozier-byrnes genius lyrics, so i have to go on genius (the lyric website) to figure out what they mean every time. but it's a very good time !!

that being said, the meaning behind the song is actually very simple---it's basically about the singer pursuing things that aren't good for them because it feels good. and since the only thing that feels good to me is reading too much into lyrics to connect them to my favourite characters, my brain obviously processed this as being about curt and his plethora of vices. including our favourite guy owen carvour!

like i've also yapped extensively to you and on this blog about, i think that curt is really enamoured with everything about spying---the idea of being one of the "good guys," a hero, being someone who has an impact on the world, being able to be something more than who he started out as. he loves the heat of action and often throws himself into it for fun. but obviously, constantly pursuing danger isn't good for him---inevitably, he's going to get hurt. and hurt badly. but he does it anyway. or the thrill, to feel badass, to feel like a hero---to feel good.

if you look past that first initial obvious connection, my brain also thought of him and owen and spying in the sense that---as we also have yapped extensively about to each other---they were never going to last if they kept being spies. it was dangerous, considering they were queer in the 1950s and working for seperate (but both terrible) governments, and it was risky considering the only time they could see each other was quite literally on the job. and like i said in a previous song post, i do genuinely believe that owen tried to get them to leave, but curt was the one who made them stay, despite the danger, despite how hard it was.

he wanted to have his cake and eat it too---to be able to keep owen, and keep that thrill, to stay a hero. this bit puts it really well (and honestly is the main reason why i added the song. also the vibes.)

joy, disaster, come unbound here i'll deny me none while i'm allowed with all things above the ground

and also this just reminds me intensely of the two of them, considering how their love definitely wasn't safe for them, but they felt and thought they were unstoppable no matter what. i dont know. it reminds me the first chapter of tnoy is the best way i can explain it.

i'll take any high any glazin' of the eyes any solitary pleasure that was sorrow in disguise let the sun only shine on me through a fallin' sky i'll be alright

something something they were the best things in each others lives. something something. im normal about them. add this song to your playlist guys

[unwelcome-ozian]

hey so i have a question and idk if this is an ask youre ok with answering, if not its fine- but so a week or so ago my mom offhandedly made a really weird really specific joke about me being fed balloons to traffic drugs as a child, and then immediately before i even said anything, started really aggressively saying she was joking and when i joked that it was a little suspicious that she was so aggressive about clarifying it was a joke, she said (slight paraphrasing) “well i thought i should say it because otherwise you’d be like ‘oh i don’t remember my childhood, did that actually happen?,,’” and then basically called me crazy by comparing me to a really notoriously eccentric friend i have, and when i called her out on it she accused me of being the one who was calling him (and myself) crazy, then when i said she was acting weird she started getting really flustered and it was super awkward and she was over explaining in a way she only does when she’s lying or trying to cover her ass, she kept giving me reasons that i wasn’t a drug mule as a child, and then she left extremely quickly and unnaturally after the whole interaction. I don’t have any memories of this, but the whole thing left me feeling extremely uneasy in a way i usually am not. I felt like I was in danger the rest of the night and even ended up sleeping with a weapon, which to be fair is a feeling i’ve had before but it’s never been exactly like this. I really felt like i found something out that i wasn’t supposed to, and that they would kill me for it. i do have ocd and this could’ve just been that, but it was weird. it felt more real and ive been very off balance since this, feeling very unsafe everywhere i go. i have a weapon by my bed at all times now just in case, but i have no idea why i am doing this because i have no memory of having any reason to. 

im very polyfragmented (dont know why or what caused it, know i experienced some kind of severe childhood abuse but generally don’t remember anything from childhood before age 10) and i’ve been splitting much more than usual since this, idk why.

I have been badly triggered by mention of organized crime and drug rings in the past but i assumed it was just because it was a heavy topic. I also have symptoms and vague memories of csa, as well as csem/csam. some of my alters are intensely triggered by the word magazine, i dont know why.

i am having trouble getting this out, i feel like my mind is trying to stop me if that makes any sense,  i feel like im sealing. my fate by typing this. i dont think i am but its a very heavy feeling. i just want to know if this is something i should actually be concerned about, or if i am just crazy and an attention seeking liar making up false stories for pity. my parents dont seem capable of anything like this at all, and i know i at least had a regular side of my life as a child with friends and school and stuff, but for some reason I’m scared and have been scared since my mom mentioned it, and i just need to know if this anything i should be worried about, or look into, or anything. if theres a possibility i experienced something awful and don’t remember it at all. its been really bugging me and scaring me for a bit,

im sorry this is a really long confusing ask, youre free to delete it. my mind is quite jumbled. sorry

No worries about the length of the ask. I want to assure you that you can write as much as you feel comfortable with.

I agree with you, it is an odd joke that your mother made. There is a saying that behind a joke there is some truth in it. 

Ultimately you know your mother. Does she often turn things around on you when you have disagreements? From what you described it sounds like gas-lighting.

Feeling safe is so important. I understand the need/feeling/desire to sleep with a knife. Feels safe, I get it.  My question is, who are “ they”? Who would try to kill you?

Which leads me back to safety. If you are physically safe, which only you can answer, and have been then you are likely safe.  If not, what things do you feel you are able to do to work towards safety?

There are parts in your system who do remember the abuse and what occurred. With time perhaps they will share those things.

Take your time in deciding what you want to do. The choice is yours to make. There is something awful that occurred that led to you living with DID.

Take care,

Oz

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Pokemon could just be regular magical fauna, dnd style? Not types, just one or two magical qualities in place of like dragons, displacer beasts, oozes, etc. But no regular animals, just pokemon like normal. Generally moderately intelligent, like crows maybe, but still animals. But if they're a familiar to a human, like rei's pikachu, then they have above average intelligence and can understand human speech and whatnot because of the magic binding them together. Does that work? I don't doubt pokemon battles as a sport like in the games, but lots are dangerous and so are raiders and stuff. Battlemage and healer for hired protection and damage control maybe?

yeah!! there could even be regular animals (or, the regular animals are like... rattata. pidgey. etc.) but pokemon are very common alongside them. i DO think that canon pokemon are sort of...made more recognizably human-intelligent via a trainer bond, actually. if that makes sense. i keep vaguely referencing trainer bonds and not elaborating, but it really is a unique connection that opens a lot of new mental pathways for both parties. like being high-level competitive and having a deep bond of trust with your pokes will rewire your brain. and theirs. which suits very well with the familiar bond idea i think! and another ask here and my response to it actually, hang on

[Anonymous: You think 'pokemon' still have pokeball equivalents? (More of a transportation bc I refuse to believe pokeballs magically make pokemon follow your orders like Black and White Npcs say bc theyre my friends :( I dont wanna mind control them ) I remember a nuzlock comic fantasy style that used cystals n such as pokeballs. that or 'contacts' and they have markings left on your body signaling u have companions. I dont think it would be as commonplace to have 'pokemon' tho. Maybe Ingo and like the wardens are the only ppl to have em? idk but I think Jubelife would like pokemon even LESS than canon does. ]

ooooh so i think having like, bonded markings for familiar/companion bonds is a fun idea... i could see that being a big like, life/green mage thing in particular. physically binding your soul to another feels like a big life force manip thing. tho i do agree that it should be a rarer thing than pokemon training in canon is. i think if there is this kind of bonding process, it's also different than just befriending them. like, maybe rei and pikachu don't have one, or don't at first anyhow? it might actually be more of a pearl/diamond thing in general, which would be an interesting inverse to canon.

or maybe rather than being a bonding process that anyone can do, this is a specific magic effect done by green mages, and it can be either intentionally with the agreement of all parties, or forcibly. either way you form a sort of link of will, which makes me think the marks maybe show up on your head/neck/chest rather than hands? consensually it's an empathic bond, nonconsensually it's almost a mind control effect. ...maybe this is a lake trio related thing, even.

the wardens all having noble bonds i think is good, and that could also go a ways towards explaining why nobles are more powerful/smarter/etc than their non-noble counterparts, if that thing about familiar bonding materially changing the animal/pokemon is true. in which case one of the wardens should be able to cast it. or it's adaman and irida's responsibility, which adds some explanation to "what are they doing in this verse, what are their responsibilities" and also suggests irida has these capabilities, which could further mean that she could materially put a lock on ingo's magic via the same sort of manipulation of life force. which also implies interesting things about their relationship that i sort of dig, if he was so suspected of being unable or unwilling to safely control the magic that she felt the need to do that.

...maybe his own making warden wasn't even like, a position of privilege, it was just using the life link as an entry path to get access and basically impose that link as a block between him and his magic. which almost makes him feel like a suspect that they're trying to control. at least at first, since they'd also inadvertently assigned him to [whatever being a warden means in this world] they sort of had to get to know him and then oops, now they like and respect him as a colleague. fuck. i might also keep none of this entire tangent. idk. what were we talking about again.