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alessiamalfoyzabini · 8 months ago

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Vampire's Kiss | Chapter Three

Pairing | Vampire!Jungkook x Reader

Word Count | 4,4k

Warnings | +18, trouble for MC is not over, use of a dating app to look for someone, Jungkook is absolutely cute and sexy, kisses, fluff

⤷ Summary | Humans have finally unveiled and accepted the centuries-old existence of vampires, in a modern world people share their lives with these peculiar and mysterious creatures, but it is not all roses.

Will two souls belonging to such different species be able to be together?

➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! ❤️

I apologize to all of you who have waited so long for chapter third to arrive, I'm really sorry, but life has been really hectic and I'm also working on many other stories, so I hope you enjoy the chapter now 😭💕

Let me know what you think, I always love your comments ❤️

Taglist: @katherine-kookie @peterstarkchrishiddleston @reallygenerouskoala @btsuga-d @angelicsmilesworld @jimincrystal @velvet-stardust2002 @ke1k029 @kylafox09 @pantara @takemeaway5402

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You're going to kill Park Jimin.

It's been a whole week since that party and you're still spinning in your head his words, which had the effect of making you even more depressed.

“In truth ... they specifically told me that they don't believe our relationship, they will only believe it when we go to their house for lunch.”

The idea of spending time with them again haunts you, Jimin had said one evening. One.

Yet, you still have to help him, because his parents did not see passion from both of you, you were blatantly fake in their opinion.

Well, kudos to Father and Mother Park, you certainly don't lack the nose like bloodhounds!

But why at their home of all places? Are they going to secretly feed you to their servants? You shudder just thinking about it. They are certainly up to something, Jimin repeats to you that you should stay calm, but it is easy for him to talk. You are nothing to them, just a dirt stain on their perfect son's shirt.

You must be eliminated somehow.

But the worst thing about all those days spent thinking and agonizing between you and you is the wrong idea that Jungkook may have gotten about you.

Shit, he's just a guy you met briefly at a party, so why can't you get him out of your head?

You always think back to the way he held you close, to his cautious and sweet look whenever he tried a more direct approach with you... and there they are, the damn butterflies! They don't leave you alone for a moment, your wormy little brain even dares to loop back his last words, before Jimin cursed Park ruined the atmosphere.

You roll over on the bed hugging your faithful stuffed animal you've been carrying around since childhood, gazing into his inane black eyes, you sigh.

“What should I do, Little Sunshine?” but the teddy bear, predictably, does not answer you.

He has left without deigning you another glance, perhaps seeing you there with Jimin he must have thought of who knows what, they know each other and must know of your best friend's reputation as a womanizer.

You violently plant a hand in your face, long ago to fuck Jimin it was enough to be his acquaintance, it wasn't necessary to get up to girlfriend status, you may have said Jimin is just a friend ... but in someone else's eyes there may still be a possibility that the two of you are some sort of fuck buddies.

Besides, why else would a human like you willingly accompany a vampire like Jimin?

You feel like screaming like crazy, you don't just do it because you sense your phone ringing in the darkness of the room.

You try to compose yourself, imagining it was a business call, but it turns out to belong to your best friend.

You stare at the phone screen with tears in your eyes almost.

<<Ellen!>> you shout, on the other side your friend whines, <<My sweetest Ellen! You called at just the right time>>.

<<You scream like that again and I'll block the phone in your face!>>.

You ignore her empty threat and begin to tell her what happened with Jimin and about the meeting with Jungkook, omitting nothing. By the end of the explanation you are out of breath and your eyes are glazed over, why do you have to feel that way about a stranger? What is happening to you.

<<Let me understand... Jimin asked you to be his fake girlfriend and this Jungkook, whom you described as more handsome than a normal vampire, flirted with you for at least half an hour or so and then left offended?>>.

You frown, <<He didn't flirt with me! He was just being nice...>>.

You hear a laugh stifled on the other end of the line, <<I used to say the same about Shawn and look at him now, chained to me in the sacred bond of marriage>> a smile escapes you… actually it doesn't sound bad.

<<What should I do?>> you ask more to yourself than to her.

<<Uhm... you said he works with Seokjin, right? Isn't Seokjin the creator of Vampire's Kiss? Maybe he's on that site too, try looking for him... and maybe contact him, they even created a very convenient app!>> you widen your eyes. Sure! That could work...

<<But what if he doesn't want to hear from me? I mean, he didn't leave on the best of terms, surely he must have thought of something strange>>.

<<Take your balls out and look for him! You said you felt something different next to him, right? Don't let such an opportunity pass you by, what you felt doesn't happen to everyone ... and for your sanity and mine too, put your mind at rest once and for all>>.

You nod, she has a point, then you hear her stifle a shriek.

<<Wait a minute! ... You said that just looking at him turned you on-!>> you close the call in half a second, redder than a tomato! There, that thing you might as well have avoided revealing it to her, even if it simply slipped out of your mouth without realizing it ... such a thing has never happened to you, neither with humans nor with vampires, that was a detail as embarrassing as it was surprising.

You make a decision and install Vampire's Kiss on your cell phone, the app's simple and intuitive screen allows you to enter your account right away, go to the purple heart with the magnifying glass and search for Jeon Jungkook.

The results are immediate and the search leads you to no less than five users, but only one is the one that immediately hits you like a bouquet of soft flowers in the middle of your face.

He is right there, posing for a photo taken in the middle of a summer day, not at all concerned about possible sunburn, and you smile instinctively at his caption, which is short and absolutely adorable.

So your impression was right, this is a good guy. You zoom in on the photo and look admiringly at the sunlight softly shining on him, he is also smiling and without thinking about it you take a screenshot, do you look crazy? Probably yes, but your chest tightens at the idea of not being able to see him every day.

It's really crazy... it's just a stranger.

But you and this stranger have one thing in common. The two of you are desperate for love, to the point of signing up for a dating site to find it, your finger trembling, undecided whether to press your purple heart to follow him and thus engage in conversation with him or just drop everything and move on from your lightning-fast meeting at the party.

You turn off the phone with a sigh. Even if you wanted to try, you are nothing compared to him. You would only have wasted his precious time.

“But seeing you there, under the moonlight, I-”

You shake your head violently, it's no use daydreaming, he didn't even finish the sentence. That only indicates one thing, that it was not meant for you two to continue the acquaintance, period.

Suddenly an annoying noise starts from your stomach, you cast a glance at the time -- 2:11 p.m., you haven't even had lunch and there is nothing edible in the fridge, in short, the typical life of a single career woman. But below the house there are several small stores open 24 hours a day that sell noodles and allow you to cook them immediately after purchase. Yes, you would have graciously taken advantage of their services, that is also the beauty of living in Korea, every place becomes home.

You turn on the light and look around for your shoes, heedless of the eyes burning at the sudden impact.

Next mission: don't starve.

You look thoughtfully at the shelf stuffed with packages of noodles, there are all flavors and colors, but maybe you'll have to buy some instant cook rice too to satiate your stomach more, and speaking of your stomach, you hear it growling once again.

Ungrateful, why doesn't it give you time to think?

You grab a packet of spicy chicken-flavored noodles on the fly, then reconsider -- better two.

Excited to eat, you jump merrily without looking over your shoulder, like the clueless fool that you are, you feel your head collide with something sharp and immediately see the stars in the middle of the convenience store, a stifled moan escapes your lips and you squeeze your eyes shut trying to chase that pain away, being interrupted by another unexpected moan of distress.

You turn back to the source and notice a boy behind you, head down, you can just make out a wonderful mass of dark, wavy hair.

You blanch, your own flushes of pain sidelined. Did you hurt him? Medical bills are fucking expensive.

"I-I'm sorry! Did I hurt you very much? I didn't want to, believe me."

The boy makes a strange noise, as if he has suddenly held his breath, then slowly his head rises and you find yourself going wide-eyed.

In front of you Jungkook in casual clothes and a jacket far larger than his own size is holding his chin with one hand.

“Gosh, you knocked me out,” he chuckles with difficulty, removes his hand and you see a red spot take shape on that area of smooth, soft skin, “I didn't think I'd find you here....”

You're frozen, you can't utter a single word, the only thing that assures you you're still alive is the slow pulsing of the bump on your head, but is this guy made of granite or what? A very sexy granite, of that there is no doubt.

"I didn't... I didn't think so either” for the simple fact that not even twenty minutes earlier you looked him up on a dating app, then clandestinely saved his picture like a poor desperate spinster.

"Are you okay? I think you were the one who got the hardest hit,” he asks worriedly, out of the corner of your eye you notice how his hand tries to rise, but he instantly lowers it, you gloss over the incident by waving yours away.

"No, absolutely! I'm fine, I'm so sorry, I'm stupid,” you mutter to yourself, feeling guilty.

You see him looking around carefully, “I'll get you some ice, wait here!” not even time to tell him to let it go, it vanishes in an instant.

You lower your eyes to the packages of noodles, “This happened because I never buy real food, right?”

You both find yourselves so seated face to face in front of the convenience store, you're uncomfortably pressing ice on what appears to be quite a bloody good bump. Jungkook just stares at you with that innocent look on his face, is he seriously a vampire?

You take the floor, trying to fill that uncomfortable silence, deliberately ignoring the palpitations of your heart, “Does it still hurt?” you point to his chin, which seems to have returned to normal coloring, in fact he denies it.

“It's okay, for us vampires pain is momentary, we heal quickly.”

Okay, now what?

There, meeting him was not some kind of miracle, but a curse.

"Um... you look different, I mean... with these clothes you look normal, no wait! I mean you look great even without clothes, No! T-those elegant clothes! But you look fabulous even like this, really!” you stumble over your own words and god, you want to hole up in some dirty hole on top of a remote mountain. You look great without clothes, really?!

“Hey, hey, don't worry, you look very good in your normal clothes too,” he smiles amused, then changes his expression, “Did you have a good time at the party when I left? I apologize for how I left you, I don't usually go to parties and I don't know how to behave,” he explains, his voice sounds colorless, different from the sweet voice he used before and even during your first meeting.

Something has been bothering him and you even know what it is, or at least you think so. You shouldn't worry about it, but you like him and want to clear it up.

You take a breath, “Jungkook, I don't know what you thought seeing me there with Jimin, but I assure you we're just friends, there's no romantic or ... well, sexual interest,” you just want to calm him down, but evidently your words have the opposite effect, because he whitens starting to gasp.

“Oh god, I made you feel like a lowlife, didn't I?” he puts his hands to his face shaking his head, “I'm just an idiot, you don't have to pay attention to me,” he complains with his forehead pressed against the surface of the table.

"You didn't make me feel like a lowlife! I just wanted to make it clear that I didn't lie to you, I was really there to accompany Jimin” maybe it's best not to specify the plan that brought you there that night.

But the boy continues to shake his head, at times in despair, “I never thought you had lied to me or anything...” he raises his eyes to you fearfully, “I was just... disappointed, your knight for the evening had returned and my company therefore no longer needed, that's it, I was disappointed and envious,” he chuckles exasperatedly, most likely at himself.

You feel the same pleasant grip on your heart as a smile makes its way across your features. Should you tell him?

Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all, you would have loved him even in case of rejection, he seems like a really good person.

“I'd like to tell you a secret...” you start by saying and immediately come back with a straight back, in his eyes you can glimpse ill-concealed curiosity, “I too felt disappointed... my real knight left that night, leaving me with one of his underlings,” you sigh sadly.

“That knight may have felt he was in over his head in that situation,” he says embarrassed, but you shake your head.

“He shouldn't have left me there, it's his duty to make sure I'm okay!” you don't know where all that courage came from, you just feel it's the right thing to do.

He tilts his head to the side, biting his lower lip with what you identify as a canine, the soft scarlet skin drooping under his pressure, but not tearing. Images and thoughts of what he could have done to you with those luscious lips of his leap into your head, adding to all the erotic dreams you've had over the past few nights, they always knocked treacherously, but you let them in willingly.

“Even this knight has a secret to confess” he leans toward you, enough to breathe your own air just inches away, you remain in awe of his deep irises, where you catch a vermilion flash, “Wasn't the moon beautiful that night” you begin to cough because of your own saliva, you didn't expect such a statement, not from someone like him toward someone like you. You beautiful? Is he really saying that? The darkness must have been to blame, the moon cannot be darkened by a mere human, he must have seen wrong.

But wait… vampires see in the dark as nocturnal predators, don't they?

A grin from him surprises you and you also understand the motivation behind it, after all, the rush of excitement your body undergoes is not ignorable. Now you also have confirmation that vampires perfectly sense a person's emotional and physical changes.

You try to compose yourself, bringing a lock of your hair behind your ear, he remains firm in his position.

“I like you, I've done nothing but think about you, do I have a chance?” his bluntness amazes you in no small part, he is showing much more courage than any other man who would have gone around us instead.

You swallow, not knowing what exactly to answer, so you try with resolving one of your doubts, “Y-You know I'm human, right?”

It seems a silly thing to ask, but it's very important to you that he knows what he's getting into, you two have different rhythms and abilities, you don't want him to feel stuck in a relationship too different from the ones he was used to with women of his own kind.

But his eyes soften, you feel you can also calm down.

“Of course, I knew right away...the sound of your heart beating is something I couldn't give up, your skin is warm and it warms mine,” he takes your hand between his, the ice falling to the ground from your shock. Doesn't he care about that? “Can we at least try?”

In that instant you realize that you cannot give up on him so easily, you nod contentedly as your eyes glaze over, incredulous that such a thing could have happened to you.

From that moment you continued to go out every day, especially at night hours, as he wrote in his profile on Vampire's Kiss, he loves to take walks under the dark sky and he also took his dog, Bam, with him from time to time. You, who usually prefer cats, found no difficulty in falling in love with that handsome, hyperactive dog, so similar to his daddy in both physique and character.

You and Jungkook are now hand in hand at the seashore, neither of you speaking, simply listening to the sound of the waves calmly crashing on the shoreline.

You see him lying comfortably on the sand, heedless of the grains that go to hide in every fold of his comfortable clothes, without much thought you follow his example.

It is nice to gaze at the stars like that, but turning your head in his direction you find yourself thinking that the best show is there by your side.

Unlike you, he has never looked away from you, you have literally found the boy of your dreams, “What is it?” you ask with a laugh in your voice, he doesn't answer right away, settling on his side.

“I feel a little confused,” he replies, frowning a little worriedly.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I love this beach at night, but the only thing I can think about is you next to me, it's a little confusing to me, now whenever I come here without you, I'm sure I'll be thinking about you nonstop.”

You watch his face engulfed in darkness, yet you can make out the brightness of his eyes; he is a nocturnal predator, you lift yourself up on one arm to get a better look at him.

“Who says you'll come back here without me?”

He inhales sharply, “Don't say such things, don't make promises you can't keep, baby,” he hisses an inch from your face, he has never called you that. Sometimes you forget that he is an adult vampire, much older than you. You like being called that by him, with Jimin it's a game... with Jungkook it's something more intimate.

"Why, Jungkook... Have I been giving you a lot to think about these days?” you are literally talking on his lips, clenching a fistful of sand tightly, the urge to kiss him is becoming more and more pressing, but he shakes his head, pulling away suddenly.

“You always make me think a lot of things, but no ... you don't have anything to do with it, it's just that all my relationships have ended one way,” he laughs without humor, “That is, with a broken heart, mine. It's funny coming from a vampire who doesn't have a heart, isn't it? Or at least, not as alive as you humans',” he explains with a look up at the sky. No, you can't believe it, it's impossible that there is someone who can leave such a boy.

"Are you so convinced that this will also apply with me? If that's really the case, then why have we come to this point?” if he believes it will end badly, why the hell did he invite you on all these dates?

He shrugs, “I've never dated a human girl, I look good with you! I would never say otherwise, but...."

Sighing, “You're afraid,” you finish for him, “But you know what? I have never dated a vampire guy, yet I want to give myself and him a chance, even if it ends badly, with him now I want to think it will be okay."

Silence falls between you, you return with your back to the sand, unsure of what just happened.

Perhaps you have both gone too far in such a short time? Oh... maybe he wants more space for himself, that's why he talked about going to the beach alone, your lips begin to tremble.

“Jungkook... maybe I'd better go home,” you murmur, rising slightly again in search of your bag and shoes, but a hand on your arm stops you instantly.

"What? Why?” he stares at you like a lost puppy, unable to understand your intentions.

“Maybe I rushed you too much, I'm sorry,” you try to wriggle your arm still in his grip, but all you get from it is an imprecation from him that makes your eyes go wide, he has never cursed in front of you, and before you can say anything to him you see his figure descend entirely on you, just like the vampires in the old movies, with only one difference, at that moment he is not interested in your blood.

His moist lips make contact with yours without hesitation, you accept them willingly using your free arm to anchor yourself to his blemish-free neck, you close your eyelids inhaling his wonderful scent, crushing his weight on you as if your very life depended on it, he lets you do it by filling your lips with numerous small kisses in the mold, your heart threatens to melt under all that tenderness and you note with happiness the softness of his lips that taste like cherries, not resisting you lightly grasp a flap of his lower lip between your teeth, savoring it on your tongue.

His shoulders shake and he releases your arm from his grip so you can sink a hand into your hair, this encourages you to do the same with his, enjoying his little moan. Jungkook with an extra bit of resourcefulness deepens the kiss, tapping his tongue against the seam of your lips, which you open willingly to his passage.

You kiss him as you've never kissed in your life, in your chest a soft warmth pushes to bring you to accept him in his entirety, your eyes moisten from that almost suffocating instinct, it has an effect on you that you can't even imagine. It scares you a little, but that is bearable if it means keeping his taste alive on your lips.

He separates from you slowly, “I've been dying to do this,” he whispers an inch from your noses, you take a big breath.

“So it's okay?” you whisper, you don't want barriers between you two, it's hard enough to accept the fact that you are not yet an actual couple.

He brings his head to your chest, resting his ear exactly over your beating heart, then nods.

“I think I've lost hope, every woman I've had wanted different things from me, mainly money and sex, then there were the ones who wanted to own me in everything... I've just come to a dead end after all these years, it's not easy for me to open up now.”

Gently you stroke those locks from which only a sweet floral scent comes, “Jimin said you never attend parties like that.”

“It's not easy for me to stand by and watch couples who are doing much better than me,”he look up with huge eyes, almost as if you want to express something very obvious, “I'm a very envious guy, you know?” you burst out laughing, sounding like a child, and lean slightly toward him to print a tender kiss on the tip of his nose.

He looks surprised and awkward for a moment, then returns to hide his expression.

“I'm talking seriously, and you go and do things like that,” he mumbles, shrugging.

“You're so cute,” you whine, he lets out a grunt.

“A little human talking like that to a vampire much older than she is.”

A question mark the size of a house makes room in your mind, “I've been wondering this for a while... how old are you?”

You hear him smiling at you.

“S.e.c.r.e.t,” he punctuates nicely, before lifting himself up on his arms and planting another soft kiss on you, “I'll tell you my age, if we're good together.”

You arch an eyebrow, “On Vampire's Kiss you wrote twenty-five, so I already know how old you are,” you say in an offended tone.

He shakes his head, “Twenty-five years I've been living in Seoul, baby.... We vampires tend to fake our age so as not to scare you humans."

Oh dear. He always has an answer for everything!

“All right, how long would you be willing to make me wait?” he clearly pretends to think about it, his expression too theatrical, but you let him. You find that side of him really adorable and would never try to change it in any way.

“A hundred days, a hundred days and you'll know who you've decided to spend your life with,” he chuckles, wrinkling his nose, nodding in agreement.

“A hundred days.”

You both don't know each other very well yet, but already hearing him say such a sentence sent your heart to heaven, and the butterflies in your stomach to a valley in bloom.

How much more can you like Jeon Jungkook?

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months ago

Note

AITA for making a post about an adult making a sexual comment under one of my sfw work posts as a minor?

FYI, sorry for any bad spelling, I have really bad dyslexia.

(🐶👀❤️ for future finding)

Cw for sexual comments to a child, online harassment, and mentions of grooming.

Just for context this didn’t happen on tumblr, this all happened on twitter (yes yes the Elon musk rat site that we all hate) and I’m putting this here because I use both twitter and tumblr and I want a second opinion.

here’s the characters before we start

Me, (17 trans masc)

nsfw account (22 they/them)

so recently I posted a tweet that was a fun fact type tweet about a character from a show I like. Along the lines of “this character can play the tuba!”

Then a 18+ account (this will come up later) replied with “he must have a strong mou*gets shot*”

this is a common meme format but it was obviously nsfw in nature. Now don’t get me wrong, I am in a fandom for a more mature show and understand 18+ accounts may engage with me, and not check my bio. But putting a blatantly under a sfw post and not even bothering to check for my age is just- really disgusting. Not to mention this account had replied and liked many of my tweets.

I gave it a few hours to see if they would correct the obvious mistake, cuz sometimes I back track and realize a mistake, correct it and move on.

but nothing, radio silence. So I replied to their comment stating they had made me incredibly uncomfortable and that I was a child, and then made a small post since a few my adult mutuals follow them (for context I have like 100 followers and they have over a thousand)

it wasn’t a “call out post” just a simple “hay this person did something wrong and I’m telling my tiny bubble of people because some of you happened to follow” I wasn’t trying to get anyone canceled basically.

I didn’t put their @ in the post directly, just a screen shot of the inappropriate replay and their profile showing some mutuals follow.

they then quote retweeted me, telling me “I could have just blocked them and moved on, and that this is a 18+ fandom so I shouldn’t even be here” (it’s actually a 16+ show but whatever)

mutable of their followers processed to gang up on me and tell me I was a pathetic and should leave the internet forever, repeating with the person had said in their quote retweet when ever I tried to argue.

I ended up having to full on private my account because I was so triggered (I’m a grooming victim so this whole situation made me feel almost sick)

I know the person fucked up, but was the post not ok? At first it felt like it was warranted but now I’m second-guessing myself and thinking that I might be the one in the wrong. Should I have just done what they wanted and blocked and moved on?

AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole

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ilikekidsshows · 5 months ago

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Hello, I have a couple Adrien-related questions I'd love to get your thoughts on, if you don't mind? I'll send the other separately, but for now: 1. In your opinion, how does one differentiate between Adrien's trauma response and him more generally being kind, forgiving, etc.? Not to create a false dichotomy, but I figured you might have some interesting insight.

2. At the end of season 5 Adrien is saying things like "Marinette and I are forever" and "I'm angry at myself for falling short of [her] love". I initially interpreted this as a sign that the boy needs therapy, for his own wellbeing (and I mean that in the best way possible). Things like Plagg responding with "forever!?" told me this was intentional, that the writing team is aware and will address it one day. But now I have my doubts, that it's just supposed to be "romantic." Thoughts?

And I'm sorry, but one more thing to add to my second question: they go out of their way to show things beyond his control preventing him from telling Marinette about London (Marinette interrupting him, Chloe interrupting him, etc.). It seems like the narrative isn't really blaming him, then? For struggling to tell her? Unless I misinterpreted. But regardless this was another thing that, at least initially, led me to believe the writers were intentional in writing his trauma response.

—

I’ll preface this by stating that I’m not the originator of the “Adrien’s fawning is a response to abuse” reading, so this might not cover all there is to it, but here’s my take: it's about how Adrien responds specifically to himself being wronged and how it differs from the way he acts in other conflict situations.

I'll use a comparison to illustrate. Adrien doesn't react to Chloé's behavior the same way he does to Gabriel's and Ladybug's. This is the key difference between thinking “Adrien is just nice/forgiving” and “this reaction has been conditioned through abuse”. Adrien can talk back to Chloé, disagree with her vehemently and will hold his ground even when she doesn't want to budge. Adrien also doesn't make excuses for her because he can admit she's in the wrong. Even when Chloé pushes his boundaries, like trying to kiss him, Adrien can enforce said boundaries by pulling away or pushing her back.

Meanwhile, with Gabriel and Ladybug, Adrien doesn't feel safe in arguing back. He used to do so with Ladybug, but the more unreasonable she's become, the more he backs down. Furthermore, even when he doesn't think the way he’s being treated is right, he makes excuses for Gabriel and Ladybug. “My father is busy”, “you were perfect, as you always are” are things Adrien has to tell himself so that he doesn't have to say: “they don't care about how I feel”. Attempting to enforce his own boundaries with these people almost every time leads to those boundaries being crossed anyway, and that's when Adrien bothers to even try.

As for the second part, I’ve been wondering similar things, and the wisemen of the groupchat have come to the consensus that someone in the writing team knows what they're doing, but they have to go with what Astruc wants in terms of the big picture so that the working environment doesn't become unbearable. Astruc ghosted and blocked a friend he liked so much he based a character on them when they agreed with some criticism of the show. Imagine being employed under this man, and trying to tell him his main romance is toxic and both parties need therapy. Yeah.

There are so many throwaway lines in Miraculous that acknowledge how unhealthy and blatantly wrong the things depicted in it are, that the story at large ignores. It honestly feels like someone on staff is sneaking that stuff in to give the audience at least a minor cue that what they're seeing isn't fine even as Astruc insists it is and carries on like it is. So, basically, someone on the writing team is aware of it, but it still won't ever get addressed because Astruc is ignoring the issues.

As for the “things beyond Adrien's control stopping him” part, that's the metaphorical tower. The writers have called Adrien the “princess in the tower”, and the show gets in on this association with the princess/knight Adrinette imagery. Adrien isn't being blamed for the tower he’s trapped in because Marinette will save him. Can't save him from something that's his own fault, so, for once, Adrien doesn't get victim blamed.

#ml salt #ml writers salt #dats chats

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blukiar · 7 months ago

Text

For the sake of others

(I notice my rb answer doesn't show up on the og post, neither in the tags so I'm gonna make it a separate post for the sake of Anon and any other persons curious to know about the situation)

Now first and foremost - this post is NOT to address the situation itself as I HATE drama but I HATE being apart of it MORE. This is about an earlier situation that I think people should be aware of. Trust is key, and misinformation destroys that.

(For the nevermore situation I recommend reading this Red FIRST, then navigate to the others as there are a COUPLE responses from several different folks so Idk who to link. In the end it is up to you to decide who you support/who you believe is in the wrong. Personally, BOTH are in the wrong)

Now to the point of this post: I'm keeping the name in because it's not a personal acc, and the person behind it has announced stepping away from the fandom entirely. REGARDLESS DO NOT GO HARASSING THEM NO ONE DESERVES HARASSMENT!

Earlier today upon checking my dash I saw this and immediately got upset about it because this is unacceptable. On a normal day I'd just roll my eyes and scroll away from drama related posts but THIS one grind my gears so much that I HAD to confront OP on it. What happened next made me even more disappointed as this acc was literally the only nevermore content acc that I follow on tumblr...

About an hour after confrontation, I checked back to the post only to find that my comment was removed/hidden by OP as shown below

It's funny how they and a couple others are calling out how Red tries to silence folks speaking out on the situation by deleting comments and leaving out stuff etc, etc, YET they are no different...

All I asked is why they blatantly lied to Anon about the situation? Knowing FULLY well that's NOT what happened. The least you could have done was to direct Anon to RnF page/or to the accusers posts to read the response to the situation and have them formulate their OWN opinions and conclusions to it. But instead they chose lie to Anon and hide/remove my comment.

Now I get it, OP didn't have to answer me, they're NOT obligated to, they could have ignored me or even block me! They have the freedom to do so, who am I to get angry for that? YET they chose to silence me. The same thing they accuse Red of doing, for a simple question?? Wow...

Then OP proceeded to add "evidence" to their earlier summary that, mind you, DOES NOT support their earlier claim here. It's just screenshots of Red talking about the Crimson situation, you know, about the 1 single individual - OP's summary made it sound like it's the ENTIRE moderation team that are groomers and that Red allowed it

The point here is that OP lied and silenced me for calling them out on lying to someone who was unaware and genuinely trusted them to tell a truthful rundown of the situation

And honestly, I wish OP well, I hope they take the time to take a breath and reflect. I wish them a blessed day/night and I hope that Anon gets the truthful information they need cause this is just disappointing...

Again this post was made for the sake of those unaware of the situation and is just looking for a TRUSTWORTHY and a non bias source to go by. For that I think it's best to read Red's response first to get the gest of it then navigate to the others and make your own conclusions.

Thanks for Reading, and sorry for ruining your day with this nonsense.

#nevermore webtoon #it's one thing to believe and side with the ones you think is right #but it's a completely different story when you purposely spread misinformation based on your own belief #Again I HATE DRAMA and I hate the fact that I had to make this post

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the-stove-is-divorced · 11 days ago

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Not trying to be rude here but, how do you know Bruce is being written poorly if you don't know the canon? Readcomiconline.li is free (use ad adblock)

I know you know your comment is rude.

You just said, "how can you have an opinion when you don't know jack shit, but no offense though!" Like hello? Who even are you? You assume, boldly so, complete and utter ignorance on my part, and THEN insist, incredibly so, for me to do my homework for a fictional man, who's been written by many different ways by many different people ever since the early 1940's, excuse me, 1939, spring specifically, or fuck it, March if we wanna be anal about when it hit the newsstands, if we're including Detective Comics #27.

Buddy, honey, you cannot gatekeep having an opinion about a fictional man on the internet. And in my own inbox, at that! Crazy!

When I joke, exaggeratedly, that I don’t know canon, or that DCU is like the Greek myths, I speak on the fact there are hundreds, if not thousands of issues that I cannot memorize, that are just as canon as each other, even if blatantly contradicting. I speak on the shows like Batman (2007), BTAS, B:TBATB, Justice League: Unlimited, Justice League, Justice League Action, Batman Beyond, are only a drop In the various series, movies, crossovers, guest appearances, AND comics, ALL of which are canon. There are different ages, continuities, universes, versions, etc. Comic is not the only fucking medium, either, hello? I’m not speaking out of my ass, here. And, I’m not stupid? Batman has been around since 1939, technically, and it’s impossible for him to be written right, at least to my standards, every single goddamn time. PERSONAL standards, here. Different authors, artists, make choices about this character, and some of it I don’t agree with, simply put. Some of which, I think is bad! Gee, funny how that works!

So let me make myself clear: I don’t know you. You don’t know me. You don’t know what I know, and you sure as hell can’t tell me what to do, even when you think I’m fundamentally wrong. This is fandom. This is fiction. This is tumblr, honey. You're in my inbox, and anon'd to boot. I could think someone’s take is beyond the definition of stupidity, truly based on nothing but the very nonsensical daydreams and will powered manifestations of someone who hasn't even sneezed at canon material, BUT you know what I do? I mind my business. I block. I hit the back button. I rant to my friends. If you disagree, I’ll happily invite you to block me (: I beg you to.

I know Batman, I’ve loved his character ever since I was a child, I joke because I acknowledge the sheer magnitude of comics, shows, movies, appearances, animated or otherwise is so staggering, it means I will miss something. I can recognize I don’t know everything. There is a lot of fucking complexity here. Have you seen the Robins? But I know, and pretty easily at that, when my interpretation of the character isn’t being written well. I’m not new to Batman, honey, I’ve been a fan since I was a child.

#Do not fucking check me about a fictional man I've been insane about for YEARS #i went back and forth about answering this at all but maybe you need to know something #Anon. honey. baby. darling. you cannot be rude and try to sugar coat it by saying “not to be rude!”#you. also. cannot go in MY inbox and WHILE anon'd to BOOT and basically call me ignorant. you cannot come into MY parlor #and tell me how to rearrange my furniture after spitting on my carpet.#this is the kind of boldness that falls flat onto his face trips down the stairs and lands in the horseshit of audacity #buddy. sweetie. we're on the internet. and you tried. genuinely. to gatekeep. having an opinion. on tumblr. about a fictional man.#might delete this later cause wow. wow. just wow yknow?

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bunnylovesani · 1 year ago

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I know you said that you want to move on from this, but I have to tell you my thoughts because I can’t stop thinking about all of this.

I am a content creator as well, and I write for Anakin. I have been writing for various characters from various shows for years on here, and nothing - nothing - is more toxic than this fandom right now.

From everything I’ve witnessed, I can only attribute it to one person. Indy.

Unfortunately he cannot be helped because of how vain he is, which aren’t even my words. They are his. And it would be fine, if he just left other people alone.

But indy is a bully. A big bully. He polices this whole fandom like he’s got nothing better to do at all. And I’m so sick of it. It makes me and other creators feel like we have to walk on eggshells when we post on here (thus why I am anon. Because god forbid indy sees this, and his little squad of bitter rejects try to ‘cancel’ me too - which, don’t even get me started on cancel culture).

Indy has been called out for creating things before that other people don’t like. His advice? “Just block, don’t read, keep scrolling.” How fucking hard is it to practice what you preach, rather than dragging a new person through the mud each week?

Not to mention, that shit indy was spewing a few weeks back about “not liking how other creators are writing about Anakin because it’s not correct” ? “Be careful with my toy?” “I’m taking him back until you can learn how to handle him correctly?” What kind of entitlement let’s him believe Anakin is HIS to write for only. Anakin is not his idea. He is not his toy. He is George Lucas’s idea that EVERYONE can enjoy, and play with.

And his opinion is not the only correct one out there. I don’t care how much “character studying” he’s done, he can be wrong. Other people can “character study” and come up with completely different conclusions about Anakin. And he can also just let people write what they want to write. Don’t like it? Block, don’t read, keep scrolling. Stop fucking posting about it and laying claim to something that was never his to begin with.

I tried to support indy, because again, he is a phenomenal writer. but he’s way too problematic. It makes me sick seeing his name pop up on my feed, cause that blog literally emits toxic energy.

I am sorry he sunk his claws into you.

Anyways, this isn’t about indy. He was told it was a private matter so he had no reason to butt his big head in anyway. This is about you and Ava.

While Ava may have written an Anakin stalker au, she DOES NOT own it. Nobody own that. Cause nobody owns the ideas of stalkers, and nobody owns the idea of Anakin except GL and Disney. Your work does not resemble hers even slightly. And whose to say someone else hasn’t already written that au in the past? Maybe it’s buried somewhere in tumblr’s vaults. Do they own that idea? Should you dig through years of posts and credit them somehow?

The whole idea is ridiculous. You credit people for their original ideas if you are inspired by them and have permission to use it. You do not need to ask permission or credit something that belongs to everyone.

I could start writing about, I don’t know, firefighter!anakin right now - do I then OWN that au?

Fuck no!

We are all here for the same reason. To write fake scenarios about fake people. Of course, don’t blatantly steal peoples words and ORIGINAL ideas, but the fact that people are spouting all this bullshit about OWNING these common au-ideas now is crazy. Unless you’ve done some kind of world-building or OC-creating, that shit is not original. It’s been done before and it will be done again. Cry about it.

Now let’s bring the linecook Anakin au into consideration. How is it fair that Tilly can write about it, not credit anyone, and get away scotch free? Why didn’t she get called out like you did?

Granted she took it down, but I still think it’s horseshit. Nobody owns that idea. I’ve seen it used for so many different characters on various platforms. She did not have to take it down for some bullshit law indy place on this fandom.

I really am saddened that so many people got dragged into this. Ava left; an amazing content creator. Tilly deleted her work; also an amazing creator. And indy continues to show his true colors; an entitled asshole who can’t let anyone breathe on here.

I want to go back to when this shit was enjoyable. Now all I see on my feed is people throwing each other around because no one can play nice anymore.

Don’t steal peoples ideas. But don’t claim ideas as your own if they are NOT original.

I am on your side bunny. I think you’ve made some very good points, and I commend you for keeping your work up and for standing up for yourself.

At the end of the day, you are a victim of circumstance. I truly just think people need to stop dick riding indy. And I know if he ever sees this, he’ll try to make some witty comeback that only halfway makes sense. he always sounds so defensive when he tries too hard to make it seem like he doesn’t care. He probably cries himself to sleep over these things. I think he needs that.

DAMN ANON. Wish I knew who you were so I could kiss you.

I second everything you’ve said. Blocking me without giving me the chance to respond or explain to a public post made about me was very high and mighty as well as cowardly of him.

I don’t have much more to add since I said I was done talking but I’m gonna post this masterpiece so others can read it.

Seriously thank you for taking the time to write this out and share your valuable thoughts, much love ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

#anakin Skywalker #stalker Anakin

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teaveetamer · 1 year ago

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Cap: *writes a blatantly sexist, racist, homophobic fic that is immensely popular and influential in the fandom and that many people have explicitly said made them feel uncomfortable when reading it*

Raxis: he's completely innocent everyone who says he ever did anything wrong are just hysterical liars with victim complexes

Moonlitboar: *says that they wanted Lambert to be more morally ambiguous and said they thought Sitri was happy in untagged posts that literally maybe a dozen people max ever saw*

Raxis: THEY DESERVED TO GET CANCELED THEY FUCKED AROUND AMD FOUND OUT THEY’RE AN ASSHOLE but i never did anything to them but i know who did but i won't tell anyone who that is BUT I'M COMPLETELY UNINVOLVED i just know exactly who is involved in this TOTALLY JUSTIFIED C A N C E L A T I O N (and totally not harassment because harassment is bad but cancelation to the point of harassment is fine)

LITERALLY what was the game plan here. His own logic makes it sound like he's actually completely down with Cap getting "canceled" AND he sounds like a blatant liar. Why couldn't he just shut his mouth for once

From the very beginning, no one on Tumblr has done anything that would break his personal definition of "normal" fandom participation. We're "harassing" Cap for talking about his fic and meta posts, but if you bring up Raxy's aggressive disregard for the block button, and how he disregards people directly asking him to leave them alone, he will be the FIRST to say "you put it on the internet so you have no right to be upset about me criticizing your dumbass takes".

He will stomp his feet and throw a tantrum if you say anything even remotely critical of Cap's fic's actual racist, sexist, and homophobic undertones, but Moonlit had one milquetoast opinion about Sitri and Lambert and they "deserve" a brutal cancellation. By his logic Cap should have been cancelled about a thousand times over by now; I'm giving him one cancellation for every use of "girls" to refer to grown women.

He will consistently justify his mistreatment of people with "but someone bullied Cap first" even if the person he's literally harassing has had nothing to do with Cap ever, but if you bring up what he demonstrably did to Moonlitboar it's "how dare you, you shouldn't 'mistreat' me for this thing I demonstrably did and even if I did do it then it wasn't my fault because they deserved it :/"

The truth of the matter is that Raxy doesn't give a shit. His "rules" for engagement are literally just "I should be allowed to react however I want whenever my feelings are hurt, and you should only be allowed to react in a way that doesn't hurt my feelings." Except this man is quite possibly the most fragile human being I have ever encountered and everything hurts his feelings. He genuinely thinks saying "I think Sitri lived a good life" is equivalent in hurtfulness to "I think it's okay to make genocide 'jokes' on your posts". Because the Sitri thing hurt his poor feelings, but well if someone tells me it's funny to remind me that my family died in the holocaust it's not his feelings getting hurt, so who gives a shit, just don't make him look too bad and he doesn't care. I wish I were kidding but that was LITERALLY his primary concern in that situation.

Not "hey talking about how genocide is cool is fucked up" or "hey maybe stop telling the woman who just told you that her family was impacted by the Holocaust that genocide is really funny and something to joke about"

Nope, it's "shut up you're making us look bad, and look now you woke Nilsh up! Don't you know I worked so hard to harass him into leaving social media!"

Like be for fucking real dude, you aren't slick. I can sum up everything you need to know about this guy's attitude in two images:

His logic looks like a mess of spaghetti because it is. Because he works backward from a conclusion ("I should be allowed to do whatever I want and no one should be allowed to do anything I don't like") and he inserts justifications as he goes, with no regard for whether or not it actually makes sense. He went from "Moonlit deserved it because they had bad takes" to "Moonlit was actually harassing me" to "I didn't actually do it anyway" to "I know exactly who did it but I won't say but it wasn't that bad" to now, apparently, "there's a conspiracy against me". He just relies on no one looking closely enough at him to notice the clear pattern. If someone does suss it out he tries to harass them into shutting up about him or he tries to delete evidence of his past logic and behavior (all the better if the person he's harassing deletes everything too, because then he can just make shit up).

The thing that really gets me is like, just how clearly unable to function he is without someone he absolutely hates to bounce off of. Does he even make original posts, or does he just constantly whine about other people's opinions? Every post I've ever seen from him about 3H, even the ones that aren't reblogs or don't have screenshots included, are like 99% "someone had an opinion I didn't agree with! Allow me to debunk it!" posts. The other 1% are recycled talking points from other people's metas, which he writes like he's got a 5,000 word paper due tomorrow that he hasn't even started and he's trying to see how much "slightly reword the wikipedia entry" he can get away with.

And not even speaking just about Raxy, but this is what pisses me off so bad about certain people in fandom. They feel empowered to harass and bully the genuinely awesome, creative people who actually make things. Those people leave, and then they have the audacity to sit there and whine about how the fandom is dead, no one is making anything, everyone left for greener pastures. They suck the life out of vibrant communities and leave nothing but a hollowed out husk. It happened with a ton of fan artists and authors in 3H, including some I'm friends with, who just had to get the fuck out because of the damage it was causing their mental health. And before he says it, no. Saying "Cap's (a white man) fic has some kinda racist and uncomfy undertones I wish he'd take some criticism to heart and correct that" is not the same thing as stalking someone and sending death threats because they have a different opinion about your favorite character. Holy fuck.

Like hey wanna know why no one wants to talk about 3H anymore? Because of this shit. Because saying "I think Lambert doing Morally Complex things is Morally Complex and therefore interesting" is the kind of opinion that can get you harassed into leaving the fandom entirely.

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khuenoiia · 2 months ago

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Recently, I parted ways with someone I was 'talking' too. Iykyk.

When I first met him, he looked like a very chill guy. Nothing obnoxious, or weird about him. Just an average guy. I wasn't initially interested at all, and at the time I was with an ex (even though we were on the brink of breaking up). I already had my eyes on someone else as I could feel the break up was coming. It happened so randomly though. He texted me in the morning asking if I wanted to go get hot chocolate in the morning before class. I would usually go by myself sometimes, but I hadn't gone with a guy before. At this point, it had been a week or two since I broke up with my ex. I was a free woman now. I can do whatever now, right?

And I'm sure you can guess where this leads too. We went out many times together after that. We would talk some as we walked together, but it was very casual. Mostly just about class. No romantic gestures or suggestive acts really. It was ok for me though. I thought this would turn into something later, and it seemed like we were on the same wave length. Boy was I WRONG. This man was not big on texting. He texted when he needed something. The only time we had proper conversations was in person, while we walked together. And that was maybe 15 minutes max? We did not even talk the entire time either? I never really saw him otherwise. We were just casual friends in class and we didn't even sit together there. And so when he asked for my number, I was expecting us to be texting a lot. And can you blame me? Like I was ready to open up to him and get to know him. But all my efforts were in vain. I call him the 'nonchalant texter'.

Everything was bare minimum. I would see him in class at 7 am. We had both been up since 6. No good morning text unless we were going out, and that wasn't everyday. No text until lunch block, not even during passing periods to check on me. No text after school, even after I finished practice. Radio silence. I would only get a good night text unless we were talking about something late. Which was like never. We never even talked about anything. Anything he mentioned he was interested in, I would have to milk the shit out of to make him talk to me? Like is that not insane? And I BARELY knew anything about him at that. But it's not just that. It's that he never made the effort to get to know me either. It bothered me a lot that we barely texted, because I knew I wouldn't get to see him a lot.

For him though, that was ok. I addressed this behavior with him. I blatantly told him to text me more often. I said that I was waiting for his notification. He apologized and said ok. This happened again. And he apologized again. I noticed that nothing was changing. I was still the one that wanted more. But for him, I was just a pass time. I judged based on his bold actions, that he wanted the same things as I did. To further this relationship. But my judgement was wrong. He was simply not that interested. I bothered to voice my opinions, to tell him that I wanted something to change. That I did not like this nonchalant act, when I knew damn well he does not always like this. In my eyes, he was a man that could most definitely tell me what he wanted. He was no chicken. But you can't just give me 50% and expect that to be enough. I will always love a bold man, but that needs to be kept up or else I am gone.

I hope you understand what I have gotten at here, so here is the lesson in this. I did infact leave this man. I told him straight up that since he cannot change due to that just being the type of person he is, I will walk away. He thought I was joking at first, fortunately for me I was serious. Fortunately for him, he accepted it and we haven't spoken since. Don't be afraid to leave a man who will not change for you. He does not value you as much as you do him. Maintain your standards, and move forward.

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kaijutegu · 2 years ago

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>goes to take a nap >comes back hours later to find out i’m Owl’s bad guy of the moment

aw jeez i should probably say something huh

Tl;dr: Stop telling me what owlvid is up to, I really don’t care. I cared about Owl’s wellbeing at the beginning, but hey, they don’t want that and so I’m done caring, so please stop putting screenshots of their posts about me in my inbox.

Owl, I know you’re reading this. Let me make some things abundantly clear: I’m not mad at you for some take you have or don’t have on Sea World or the captive herp industry or anything. Until you said that, I didn’t even know, because I don’t obsessively read your blog and memorize your takes on every single aspect of animal science. I don’t care enough about you or your content to be mad at you.

I posted what I did out of amiable concern, and now I really wish I hadn’t because it’s clear that you’re not interested in how the public perceives the public posts you made on your public blog. You looked like you’re caught in a major negative feedback loop, I felt vaguely sad for you, and so I said something. Perhaps my first mistake was assuming you wanted to keep the educational mission of your blog somewhat intact. You run your blog the way you want- even if it seems like the way you’re running it is actively hurting you.

My own experiences with mental illness are what made me feel sorry for you in the first place. My prediction is that you’ll take this as an insult at best and an attack at worst, but whatever. I don’t care enough about you to be your bad guy. I am not here to be your villain. I would like to stop thinking about you, and so now I am. I understand that this statement will also make you mad, but that’s your prerogative. Have fun with your... whatever this actually is. Again, you’re responsible for curating your own online experience, and you are clearly miserable. I hope you find something that can make you less upset.

Followers, friends, and strangers who keep putting screenshots of their posts about me in my inbox? Please cut that out. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m trying to evade a block, and I have a sneaking suspicion some of you are trying to stir up more drama by goading me into responding. That’s why I’m not publishing any of the asks or sharing the screenshots.

Owl isn’t an archvillain and I have no quarrel with them. Their behavior is extremely concerning, but it’s clear they don’t want anybody to care. They just want to be mad. Fortunately for me, the impotent rage of an anonymous tumblr blogger isn’t enough to trigger my RSD, and my flavor of mental illness makes it really easy for me to move on. I don’t care about their opinions enough to want any further followup, and they can make of this post what they will.

UPDATE: please do inform me if they start claiming things that could affect my real life, like if they accuse me of an actual crime. (Thought crime, reblogging from the wrong people, and hurting their feelings are not actual crimes.) Apparently they now believe I have blazed this post, which is blatantly false, and I'm starting to become concerned they may escalate.

#owlvid vagueblogging #more like owlvid directblogging

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aspenwritesstuff · 2 years ago

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Part One: It’s a Deal

🌹 prev 🌹 masterlist 🌹 next

🌹taglist: open! @drhsthl

I want you there every step of the way. I want to do what you asked for in your bio. I want you to watch our relationship bloom, to see love be true and real in the flesh.

I want to prove you wrong.

🌹warnings: swearing, consumption of alcohol, borderline cheating/inferred cheating, mentions of sex/sleeping around

🌹w/c: 5.5k

🌹a/n: I finally got around to finishing the first chapter of the story that has overtaken my entire life lately! 😭❣️

Comments and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you enjoy the introduction to the world of Prove Me Wrong as much as I’ve enjoyed putting the pieces together.

“Give me your phone.”

Your attention lifted from the device that you’d been tapping away at during Jisung’s recollection of the night he’d spent with his latest match, sheepish guilt clouding the depths of your gaze as you gave him your best apologetic smile, “I know I seem distracted, but I’m listening! Promise.”

He sighed, offering an eyeroll that would’ve seemed annoyed had it not gone hand-in-hand with an affectionate smirk. He took a deep breath, pretending to calm down from nonexistent anger before launching back into the details of the outing.

“As I was saying,” he cleared his throat, resituating himself comfortably on the opposite end of your couch, “He walked me all the way back to my car, even though he had to work in the morning.”

You bit your tongue, forcing yourself not to let your cynicism show by informing him that it wasn’t all that impressive - and was actually, in fact, the bare minimum his date should do after 10PM.

“And then, I said he didn’t have to if he needed to get home and rest, guess what this man said to me?”

You hummed rather than actually asking, knowing based on the animated storytelling and twinkle in his eye that you were going to be told anyway, regardless of your interest.

“He said he’d be awake worrying about me anyways until I’d gotten home safe!” he’d nearly squealed, kicking his feet against the carpet happily, “It was literally the sweetest fucking thing! I think he may be–” a sharp inhale drew your gaze from the notes app you’d once again been typing into, bringing Jisung’s shocked expression and wide eyes into view.

“Are you taking fucking notes?”

A scoff tickled your lips before you blatantly lied, “Why would I do that?” Your voice had shifted up half an octave, effectively giving you away as you dismissively waved your hand.

“Oh my God!” he screeched, laughter bubbling from his lips as he reached for the beer he’d all but abandoned in his rush to spill each and every intricacy of his date, “You totally are!”

You felt the prickle of an embarrassed flush creep from under the collar of your shirt as you mumbled for him to shut up, sipping at your own open drink as you waited for him to stop cackling - which he eventually did, most likely influenced by the sight of your still-reddening face.

“Writer’s block that bad again?” he finally asked after his composure had returned, genuine worry knitting his brow, before setting his now-empty bottle back into the ring of condensation it had left on the coaster whilst being neglected.

You nodded with a sigh, lips downturned in dissatisfaction, “It just feels like I’ve written all there is to write, y’know?”

He shook his head, giving you an inquisitive raise of his eyebrow - a silent effort to earn an explanation.

“Love isn’t as complex as everyone thinks it is,” you offered, tipping your head back to finish your ale. Setting the empty bottle down, you continued, “There’s only so many ways to tell the same old story.”

You pointed at your digits as you listed the main steps of love, “Person meets person, they fall in love, then live happily ever after - or, more likely, leave eachother broken and damaged before moving on to the next.”

Han’s face was easy to read, displaying obvious distaste towards your opinion. He knew better than to try and change your mind by now, though.

“We get it, you think love is dumb,” he’d said instead, sarcastic words laced with a sadness he couldn’t manage to completely mask.

“But, back to the topic at hand!” He proclaimed, any traces of brief melancholy dissolving as he clapped his hands together.

“It’s that I’m not flattered by the idea of my love life being your muse—“ he stood from his place on the sofa to make his way to the fridge, pulling another bottle from its container, pointing it towards you before interrupting himself to ask, “Another?”

“Sure,” you smiled affectionately as he grabbed a second beer, pushing the fridge door shut with his hip before making his way back.

“Wouldn’t it be more effective to just go on your own dates?” he handed you your drink as he asked, flopping unceremoniously back down into the indent he’d left in his absence.

Only Han could get away with that suggestion, you thought as you instantly withdrew so as not to have to remind him that - for you - that simply wasn’t an option.

You filled the looming silence with the quiet hiss of your bottle opening, Jisung’s eyes burning holes into the side of your head as you sipped once, twice, and three times.

You’d be the first to admit he had a valid point. Vicariously pulling inspiration from your best friend’s first date was definitely among the more convoluted ways to retaliate against a tauntingly empty document.

That wasn’t relevant, though.

It wasn’t because he was wrong that you’d gone mute.

It had somehow already been a year since you and your highschool sweetheart, San, had called off your engagement. You’d dated since senior year, somehow balancing the stress of university with a happy, loving relationship.

When he’d proposed to you at your joint graduation party - a collective finally coming from your shared group of friends - everyone was overjoyed. You were the couple other couples aspired to be; adoration evident in every glance you’d share, so madly in love that it was palpable.

Until you weren’t.

You’d gotten into one of your rare, heated arguments after attending one of his work parties. You had expressed your distaste for the way his coworker’s hand lingered on his arm, the other twirling an auburn strand around her perfectly manicured finger whilst they exchanged inside jokes about the project they’d been assigned to work on together. You had effectively been made feel like a third wheel despite the diamond glittering proudly on your finger.

He’d said you were acting far too jealous, accusing you of being controlling when you’d tried to point out that he’d done nothing to stop her from being increasingly too touchy with him.

“This isn’t who I proposed to!” he’d snapped, eyes sending you a dangerous glint you’d not seen before.

“And you’re not who I said yes to,” you’d whispered back through silent tears, watching as he packed his bags violently - snatching the ring from your finger to place it back into it’s little velvet box gently, completely opposite to how he’d shoved it haphazardly into the pocket of his coat immediately after - before slamming the door on his way out.

Only to end up dating his bubbly, beautiful coworker less than a week later.

Once the initial shock had worn off - finger no longer feeling the phantom weight of a silver band - and you’d become capable of going twenty-four hours without crying, Jisung had insisted you go out and, “live your best life.”

It probably wasn’t what he meant when you’d immediately tried to distract yourself with other men, prowling the bars for someone sober enough to retain their ability to coherently fuck you without going soft.

And just drunk enough to forget your name afterwards.

That lasted for only a couple of months, though; Jisung’s concern had already been close to stopping you, but it was a sudden realization after a particularly boring one night stand that cemented the end of your promiscuity.

The strangers had somehow made the unoccupied side of the bed San had left behind feel even emptier.

Thus began your earnest but incredibly short attempt at getting back into the dating pool. It was a strange adjustment, saying yes rather than cringing away when someone would ask for a date. It was when you’d called the number the cute Starbucks employee had scrawled on your cup, agreeing to a dinner date, that you’d come to the conclusion that love - for you - was dead.

You’d nearly forgotten how to prepare for a date. After spending arguably too long choosing an outfit that was pretty in a love way - not a sex way - you arrived at the impressive French restaurant he’d scored a reservation at. You’d spent what - to any sane, rational person - was a beautiful evening with an attractive man.

Except, in your heartbreak, you were neither sane nor rational.

He’d offered you a modest bouquet of pink carnations, stunning and lovely. Most would feel their heartstrings be plucked like a harp at the gesture. But, to you, it served only as an unwelcome reminder that you’d still needed to call the florist and cancel your order of that exact bloom for your wedding that would never happen.

The white wine you’d sipped, though delicious and assumedly expensive, had only reminded you of the glass San would always bring you while you soaked in the tub after a difficult day.

The nervousness in your date’s eyes that should’ve been endearing failed to even flatter you as flashes of the same expression on San’s face when he’d asked you to prom shot daggers through your heart.

Despite all of the painful memories, you had let the cute barista kiss you goodnight afterwards.

It wasn’t a bad kiss - filled with hopeful feelings and the taste of the chocolate dessert you’d shared- his surprisingly soft lips capturing your own in a chivalrous, gentle way.

No, it wasn’t a bad kiss. It wasn’t a bad date. He wasn’t a bad man.

But yet, after you’d said goodbye and got into a cab, you’d thanked him for the night by blocking his number and googling the address for the next-nearest coffee shop.

You didn’t want another date with him. You didn’t want a date with anybody.

Of course, being your best and oldest friend, Jisung knew that.

“It’s been a year, honey,” he gently informed you, not that you’d have forgotten had you tried. His hand fell gently onto your knee, stopping the bouncing motion you hadn’t noticed until it was brought to a stop by his warm palm.

“I know,” you sighed, placing your hand on top of his in a show of appreciation, rubbing your thumb over his smooth knuckles as you whispered, “but it’s like I said before –”

“Your heart can’t break if you don’t share it with anyone, I know,” Jisung cut you off, running a hand through his sandy blonde hair before exhaling a sigh that could only be described as defeated.

“But not even a meaningless date for inspiration?” he pressed, raising a brow as you chugged over half of your fresh beer, attempting to delay having to answer.

Jisung had yet another perfectly valid point. But, as was typically the case, you also had another perfectly valid reason not to do as he suggested.

It’s not that you hadn’t considered just finding a few dates here and there to serve as a fount of creativity - it was, by all means, the most direct approach to climb out of your slump.

Maybe before San, or if things had ended differently, you would’ve made attempts to do exactly that by now.

But San had, in fact, happened - and events had, in fact, unfolded as they did.

Now that you knew the hurt of feeling played, the absolute seasickness that wondering why you weren’t enough could cause? You couldn’t find it within yourself to give anyone the opportunity to hope for more - at least not with you.

Not dating was the only way to keep any more hearts from breaking; be it others’ or your own - even if it meant your agent having a fit over the lack of chapters you’d sent to your editor as of late.

“I don’t wanna lead anyone on, Ji,” you admitted, actively trying to escape the tense atmosphere - the off-putting vibe that only hung over you and Jisung when your love life was the topic - by standing up.

“Some poor guy’s gonna think we’re gonna get married someday,” obviously forced humor fell from your words as you busied yourself, gathering empty beer bottles from the side tables.

Your best friend followed as you brought them to the kitchen to rinse out, taking them from your hands one-by-one to place gently in the recycling bin.

“What if you just…tell the truth?” he suddenly asked after the last of the bottles had been taken care of, making you drop the plush towel you’d been drying off with.

You were absolutely shook by the sheer simplicity of what should’ve been the obvious answer.

“What?”

“Y’know, just be upfront about it,” he reiterated nonchalantly, “Just say, ‘I need to go out for research, don’t expect more of me’ or something.” He opened one of your cabinets - grabbing a bag of pretzels and biting down on one with a casual shrug - though he hadn’t just given you the Holy Grail of solutions.

There had never been a rule that you had to want to fall in love to go out on a date, though that was traditionally the goal. In theory, as long as you could find a willing participant, you could go on dates simply for the experience.

Admittedly, you felt a little stupid having not thought of it on your own.

“Hey, Ji?” you queried, biting back a smirk at the way his head shot up, cheeks bulging with the snacks he’d been indulging on. He struggled to ask what you’d interpreted to be something along the lines of ‘what’s up,’ finally bringing a breathy laugh to your lips before you asked him to do something you never thought you would.

“Will you help me set up a tinder?”

After his completely understandable surprise had worn off, Jisung was ecstatic to help you set up your account.

He’d personally selected each photo that appeared on your profile, not-so-subtly choosing only those that he’d snapped himself. He waved you off when you’d called him on it, insisting that it wasn’t his fault you took terrible photos of yourself.

As you stared down at your own brilliantly smiling face in the picture he insisted appear first - lips painted red, parted mid-laugh with shimmering gold flecks around your eyes, crinkled in jubilation at a joke you could no longer remember the punchline to - you decided that he may just be right.

He’d since handed you the reins, begrudgingly leaving the bio up to you after you’d turned down his many - as he put, brilliant - suggestions. Jisung officially lost the privilege of helping after he’d genuinely offered, “Hot but emotionally unavailable, swipe right to be blue-balled,” as an option, disappointment obvious in the way his shoulders slumped when you’d told him, in these exact words, that it would never fucking happen.

It wasn’t as easy as you thought it’d be. As an author, you knew the importance of an attention-grabbing opening line, so - after several instances of typing, backspacing, and deliberating - you settled on something simple yet compelling:

“Love is dead, prove me wrong.”

Jisung had told you that it was very mid-2000’s emo of you, earning him a playful smack to the arm before you published it to your profile and began swiping.

Ignoring your best friend picking apart every line written by the potential dates, you read each person’s description diligently - treating it less like dating than the experiment it had become - and swiped right only on those who didn’t come across as the type to insist that you simply didn’t believe in love because you hadn’t met them yet.

That didn’t stop you from receiving your fair share of cringe-worthy messages.

Hey sexy, unmatch, you’re too pretty to be such a cynic, unmatch, it’s so unfair that you don’t actually want a relationship, you sure i can’t change your mind? Unmatch. I don’t believe in love either, wanna bang? Stifle your vomit and un-fucking-match.

It wasn’t until Jisung had excused himself to return to his apartment - having yawned one-too-many times in the last hour to trust himself with driving home had he stayed any later - that a simple, genuine question popped up from one of your matches. It bad provided you with the long-forgotten feeling of warm hope deep inside your chest.

The sender?

Lee Felix, a twenty-three year old bartender with an innocent, joyful smile who - according to his profile - might be the answer to your unspoken prayers.

His bio was short and sweet, simply reading, “Hopeless romantic, hopeless at dating. More awkward in person.”

Seeing the way his eyes sparkled with childlike wonder, you could’ve easily known he loved the idea of love - even without his self-proclamation.

I almost didn’t swipe right, but I just had to ask. Please don’t be offended! but... If love is dead, why are you here? 😅

You forced that unfamiliar warmth down as you typed your reply, knowing that your plan was pretty far fetched - even in today’s dating world. You decided on keeping it as short and sweet as you possibly could, though Jisung would later tell you that you were a terrible texter;

At least you’re honest. I’m an author, a romance novelist to be exact. Hilarious, I know. The irony isn’t lost on me. I’ve hit a bit of a slump that going on dates could be the remedy for.

You chewed your lip for a moment before typing out another message, wanting to be as transparent as possible with the man behind the bright-smiled profile picture, only to be surprised by the telltale bubbles of your match responding bouncing in the lower corner of your screen.

So, you know a lot about love then?

This was the first of many questions Lee Felix, twenty-three year old bartender would ask that surprised you - but it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

I know enough to know it’s pointless.

Your retort would later earn you a slightly-too-hard smack from Jisung, directly to the back of your head while he would chastise you for trying to spread your “anti-love agenda.”

Your match, for as grating a message you’d sent, was either unaffected or politely ignoring the jaded undertones when he immediately answered with an inquiry that you could never have predicted.

If I help you, will you help me, too? Not in a creepy way!!! That sounded weird, sorry.

You laughed aloud at his self-awareness towards the way his message could’ve come across, wondering if he truly was even more awkward in person as his bio stated.

You deliberated this until his next message popped up, sparking your interest with an intensity you’d forgotten you were capable of.

There’s this girl…

He went on to explain that he’d downloaded tinder in a last-ditch effort to forget about the so-called woman of his dreams, a regular at the bar he worked at, who had no idea he existed outside of being the guy who refills her cosmopolitans. He’d tried to talk to her off the clock all of once, taking a twenty-minute detour to get his pre-shift coffee at the café she worked at.

He’d gone through all of that effort only for her to be completely unaware she’d ever seen him before, asking him for the name she’d seen on his nametag - every weekend for three months, he included with several broken heart emojis - to write on the cup his latte would be poured into.

He hadn’t known how to try since then, still dejected by his experience and more-bitter-than-usual latte.

So you want me to help you impress this girl?

You aptly summed up the contents of the two paragraphs with a single sentence, laughing aloud at his immediate response.

Yes.

After a two-second pause, he added a please for good measure.

That’s all?

Your hesitance stemmed from just how perfect it all seemed. Despite your eagerness to give Jisung’s offhanded idea a try, there had been a voice in the back of your mind reminding you that - even if you left your feelings completely out of the equation - someone could end up falling for you.

So how exactly had someone who was already enamored with someone else just fallen into your lap?

Almost.

His answer caused your breath to hitch, the ordinary word he sent holding an unusually heavy weight. As you watched the circles at the bottom of the screen do the wave for longer than anticipated, you breathed out a near-silent, “Please don’t be something gross, please…”

I want you there every step of the way. I want to do what you asked for in your bio. I want you to watch our relationship bloom, to see love be true and real in the flesh.

I want to prove you wrong.

Now, that was a first. Not the desire to show you that love was real, there had definitely been a fair amount of men who’d claimed they could prove you wrong - your experience on tinder tonight only serving as an unfortunate reminder of the cockiness with which a man would proclaim they could alter your entire perspective, claiming you’d feel differently if they would’ve been the one to love you.

But never once had one of them wanted to prove you wrong via falling in love with someone else before your very eyes.

Making a decision you weren’t sure whether or not you’d regret, you quickly sent your own completely average single word answer with the same above-average connotation.

Deal.

“Did you pack your pepper spray?” Jisung called from the living room as you swiped a thin layer of mascara onto your lashes, catching your own eye roll in the bathroom mirror before you justified his wild comment with a verbal response.

He’d been near-unbearable with his insistence on self-defense ever since you’d told him you were going to meet with Felix today, figuring it would be easier to discuss details of your unconventional deal face-to-face.

Felix had initially suggested you come into the bar while he was working, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable by simply inviting you over. He’d quickly backtracked, though, when you’d reminded him that the subject of his affections could appear - potentially overhearing the conversation, effectively revealing his debilitating crush.

Felix practically jumped at a new suggestion in his eagerness to move past the near-foiling of your not-yet-enacted plan.

“We’re meeting at the food court, what’s he gonna do?” You paused to swipe a clear gloss over your lips, smacking them together with an audible pop before finishing the thought, “Stab me in front of Taco Bell?”

Walking into the bathroom and setting the aforementioned canister of pepper spray into your purse, Jisung placed a hand on your shoulder and solemnly spoke, eyes meeting yours in the mirror, “I was thinking Panera,” he shrugged, unbothered as you stared at his reflection with a gaping jaw.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he warned, brows raising as he sincerely continued - still ignoring the indignation written on your face, “Author found dead in front of t-bell? That doesn’t give enough headline energy and you know it.”

The way your eyes narrowed must have finally gotten to him, seeing as he quickly tacked on a compliment, “You’re too classy for that.”

You huffed, grabbing your purse now that you were content with the state of your face. Sure, there were no romantic intentions behind this meeting - but you still liked to feel pretty.

“No one is getting stabbed!”

“Correct!” Jisung grinned, “Because you’re taking the pepper spray!” He nodded in satisfaction before placing a quick peck to your cheek, skipping back to the living room. He narrowly avoided the kick you’d aimed for his arse as you followed him, coming to a stop at the welcome mat before voicing a sarcastic complaint.

“You’re insufferable, you know that?” you’d grumbled, slipping your feet into your favorite worn pair of black boots and zipping the sides.

“And, yet, you keep me around,” his voice held a smug air of pride as he slid his own shoes onto his feet, opening your front door for you as he always did when the two of you left at the same time.

“Only because your warranty ran out,” you winked, slipping out the door and watching Jisung diligently lock it behind him with the spare key you’d given him years ago.

“Don’t lie, you just lost the receipt,” he laughed, hooking his key back onto his keyring before serving you a rare, serious look.

“Real talk, though,” he began, running his fingers through his hair nervously, a habit he typically engaged in when he felt anxious, “Be safe.”

“I’ll be fine, Ji,” you assured, falling into stride next to him as you walked towards the parking garage, “Promise.”

Content with your vow, he offered a gentle smile before branching off, walking towards his own vehicle as you climbed into the front seat of your own.

You waited to watch him leave, waiting until he turned the corner to put the key in the ignition. You shushed your old Nissan as a parent would their whining child, breathing a sigh of relief as it reluctantly sputtered to life.

Jisung had often criticized you for still driving the weathered four-door when you could easily afford something better, but it was easy to ignore his complaints. Loyalty to the first car you’d ever bought had always just made sense to you, even if it resulted in being the butt of a few jokes.

Your car - dubbed ‘Georgia’ by a shitfaced Jisung after you’d rescued him from a party he’d been forced to attend - was reliable, despite the rust creeping into the sun-faded maroon paint. You’d reasoned that she’d taken care of you, so why shouldn’t you do the same?

Jisung disagreed, claiming that you were just replacing romantic love with misplaced affection towards Georgia.

The journey to the mall was uneventful, filled only with your own voice singing along softly to the near-mute radio until you’d clumsily parked in an empty space a respectable distance away from the main entrance. You cursed yourself silently, remembering the long-forgotten pair of sunglasses on your bathroom counter as the late summer sun brought your eyes to an uncomfortable squint as you walked quickly to the doors.

Once the shade of the looming building provided a much-needed respite from the brightness of the sky, you whipped out your phone and shot a quick message to Felix, only to see that he’d beaten you to it.

Hey, I’m here! I know I’m a little early 😅 I got us a table, so take your time! no rush.

You exhaled your amusement, wondering how he’d managed to make informing you of his arrival into such an awkward affair, typing a quick ‘here’ in response as you crossed the threshold into the sensory nightmare that was Twin Peaks Mall.

You were immediately assaulted by the discordant, overlapping chatter of the mall-goers and the mixed scents of the several food chains present. Your eyes scanned the dining area for the man you’d only seen in photographs, stopping for a moment on each head of blonde before realizing none of them were attached to the freckled face you’d memorized before leaving home.

Your name being called from the midst of the throng straightened your posture, head whipping around as you looked for the source. You audibly snorted as you spotted him standing atop a chair, arms drowning in the sleeves of a soft, pink hoodie as they waved above his head. He beamed proudly as your eyes met his, the corners of your own lips involuntarily lifting to mimic his contagious joy.

Your eyes stayed trained on his mop of flaxen waves as you made your way through the crowd, uttering inevitable apologies to those you bumped into. You held back a laugh as Felix clumsily brought himself back down to the ground, lips downturned in both fear and concentration as he squatted on the wobbling chair.

Every second you’d spent near Felix thus far had made Jisung’s paranoia seem more and more unfounded.

You watched as he inhaled deeply before jumping safely down to the tile below, noticeably exhaling his relief. With arms outstretched on either side of him and an expression of sheer focus, his demeanor was more comparable to that of a gymnast who’d landed an important stunt rather than a man who’d leapt from a seat.

Furrowed brows were exchanged for a brief, triumphant smile as he glanced up to see you approaching. Rising to his feet, Felix stumbled in his haste to rise before your arrival.

“You do acrobatics for all of your dates?” you teased as soon as you were in earshot, tittering good-spiritedly at the way his cheeks flushed pink. Despite his embarrassment, the gentle-mannered man before you still offered his palm.

“Only on Tuesdays!” he chuckled, grasping your hand gently before giving it a quick shake. As he let go, he gestured towards the table and smiled warmly.

“It’s Saturday,” you corrected, taking the seat opposite the chair Felix had used as a stool to garner your attention.

A chuckle resonated from Felix’s throat as he reclaimed his seat - properly, this time.

“I was trying to be funny,” he informed you lightheartedly, corners of his lips still pulled into a ghost of a smile as you settled into a brief, comfortable silence. After plugging your meal choices into the food court’s provided tablet, the screen flashed to a timer. Ten minutes flipped to nine minutes and fifty-nine seconds in a fanciful font you’d come to find comically charming - especially after Jisung had claimed they were ‘yass-ifying’ fried chicken by using such elegant-looking numbers.

You’d had soda spew from your nose that day.

“So,” Felix began, pulling you from your reminiscing. You glanced towards him, watching as he fidgeted in his chair, attention focused on his worn sleeve. He twisted a loose thread between his index finger and thumb as he sheepishly admitted, “I’m not really sure how we do this,” a nervous laugh escaping his full lips as nothing more than a breath.

His admission brought you pause, realization hitting you like a ton of bricks;

You had no fucking idea. There was no manual for your extraordinary circumstances that the two of you could simply follow for the best results. Hoping that Felix wouldn’t think you incompetent, you finally shrugged and spoke honestly.

“I don’t have the slightest clue, to tell you the truth.”

His brows shot up as his lips parted, inhaling sharply before laughing aloud. Melodic bursts of joy poured from deep within his chest, infecting you in mere moments as you subconsciously joined him, carefree giggles meeting with his own rich, genuine laughter in perfect harmony.

As your giddy uproar dwindled, he timidly pulled a notebook from his backpack. You didn’t ask, but he’d informed you that he’d purchased this brand new one just for your meeting today. You’d thought about teasing him over it, but the expectant gleam in his gaze stopped you in your tracks. You couldn’t bring yourself to dim the light he effortlessly radiated, brightness only increasing as he proudly handed you an unopened package of glittering gel pens - in thirty different shades.

It was in that notebook and in those sparkly pens that you’d come up with the conditions of your deal, Felix even writing out a mock-contract, face dead serious as he signed his name in vibrant magenta.

You’d fought the urge to pick on him once again as the corners of your lips turned upwards, the little heart he’d put above the ‘i’ in his name proving to be the most challenging thing to resist poking a bit of fun at.

You read over the bullet points he’d jotted down - ideas from you both, written in sequential colors of the rainbow providing a very rudimentary set of guidelines:

Felix will take you on a date each Friday. (unless either party has prior obligations, in which case rescheduling will take place.)

You will help Felix get closer with Ryujin each Saturday. (This could be in a variety of ways, via lessons or actively coaching him through interactions. The same rescheduling clause applies here.)

Expenses will be split evenly for each outing, regardless of the recipient.

Physical contact is to be limited to things friends would do with each other.

Either party can; suggest a break, ask for changes to the contract, or terminate the agreement at any time.

The completion of both parties’ goals (finishing the novel/dating Ryujin) marks the end of this deal.

If Felix successfully convinces you that love isn’t dead, you will admit that he proved you wrong.

When you’d signed your name in the same shimmering fuschia your counterpart had minutes ago, you were blissfully ignorant to the irrevocable way Lee Felix, twenty-three year old bartender would change your life - catastrophically, miraculously - forever.

#lee felix x reader #lee felix #lee felix fanfiction #stray kids fanficition #stray kids fic #lee felix smut #lee felix romance #skz fanfiction #skz fic #skz fanfic #skz reader insert #prove me wrong #lee felix fluff

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amendments · 4 years ago

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Pro vs Anti-shipping opinions from someone who is Neutral...and will get canceled on both sides anyway

It’s fair and 100% ok to deem ships that are problematic, “problematic”, and be uncomfortable with them...and maybe even try to discourage people from shipping them, but you absolutely do not have the right to act like an authoritarian little sh!t and dictate what people can and can’t do. Block and move on.

Proshippers can effectively draw/write/create whatever they want. This is the internet and no matter how much you whine and complain, the internet isn’t going to adopt a pro-censorship stance. However, if you create content for an obviously disgusting pair, you’re going to get criticism, and people are going to find you creepy. You will be judged, even if you’re using your ship as a coping mechanism. No one is free from it.

Criticism, suggestions, and expression of discomfort are NOT BULLYING. If someone doesn’t like your ship, too bad. However, if you’re blatantly telling someone to kay why ess, hurt themselves, giving them some type of violent threat, or are doxxing them, you’re a disgusting person and no better than the people who commit said actions you’re against.

If you’re a proshipper and bullying kids, you’re also apart of the problem. Be the bigger person and block/report.

No, not all proshippers are creeps, some are just people who are anti-censorship, sick of PC culture and ship said ships out of spite, and/or don’t actually like anything bad themselves.

No, not all antis are annoying harassers, stalkers, or minors, some are people who are genuinely concerned about the questionable work you put out or may expose to minors/victims. Also, the lack of restrictions of minors in NSFW spaces is...sus -_-

Yes, there are predators in proship spaces, but there are also predators in antiship spaces, and literally everywhere else on the internet. This isn’t a ship problem, it’s a fandom problem.

Antis who claim that neutral people are just as bad as proshippers, actually push us away. You aren’t making us want to side with you. In fact, you’re doing the opposite. Most people who are neutral/position-less are actually people who really don’t care. Why? Because ships and fandoms don’t engulf our lives, and we actually have more important things to worry about than bullsh!t that strangers online are fighting about.

No, not saying anything or having a position on a topic is not inherently condoning it, it’s just not involving yourself in the problem. -_- It’s hard to really speak about something that’s not on your radar.

No, literally nobody in real life cares, or will care, about this debate. Most people (surprise, surprise) don’t really care about fandoms in general. (Amazing I know). Frankly, I’ve seen people on both sides that are waaaay to invested in this discourse and need to go outside. If you are super passionate about literal internet discourse, go to the park and touch grass.

Antis who are minors, I can genuinely tell you, that no, bosses in the real world really don’t care about what their employees do as hobbies outside of work. If you actually tried to contact employers about NSFW art (of fictional characters) that an employee drew on their own free time, unless you give them actual evidence of them acting inappropriately towards real people, they will ignore you. It is only a concern if that person has actually expressed illegal behavior which could put actual people in danger. (BDSM art of All Might and Deku isn’t going to get someone fired).

Antis, yeah, people will find problematic ships gross, if you tell someone about them. But, unless they are actively involved in internet fandom culture, which the vast majority of people aren’t, they’ll completely forget about it 5 mins later.

Proshippers, no, people in real life don’t care about what you ship in your private life, but if you make your whole identity about your ship, or proshipping, people will think you’re a creep. You’re chronically online. Get a hobby outside of internet discourse.

I will unfollow problematic people, and people who have caused harm, but if you tag me because I’m following a proshipper, simply because they are a proshipper, and have not actually been a perve to real children, I’m not unfollowing them. And if you pester me about it, I will unfollow, block, and report YOU. Who I follow is my business, and I will not tolerate being harassed over Twitter drama. Buzz off.

I will also not unfollow someone who identifies as an anti, or simply criticized your ship if you do not give me evidence of them actually harassing people. I am allowed to have an opinion and engage with people who have similar disapproving opinions. Who I choose to interact with is my business alone.

I’m not un-tweeting a tweet just because a self proclaimed “proshipper” or “anti” tweeted it. Good art is good art, and good takes are good takes.

Some of you overuse the word “p£do” in references to ships. I don’t care how you view it, a ship between an adult and a minor that has a 2-3 year age gap is not p€dop1llic. This age gap is completely common among teenagers in real life, and you’re honestly sheltered if you think that’s automatically predatory. A 16 year old dating an 18 year old is a LOT less worse than a 20 year old dating a 30 year old, and the latter isn’t any less predatory or weird just because they’re both adults.

No, ships between two adults with a very large age gap, are technically not p€doph1llic, either. They may be predatory in nature, and you may perceive them as wrong and gross, but if it ain’t already illegal in real life, then it definitely ain’t on paper.

It doesn’t matter if she’s 1000 years old, we all know what the underlying intention of that character design is, buddy.

Speaking of underlying intentions, there’s a lot of unspoken racism and xenophobia rampant in anti-spaces...like more so than in pro-ship spaces. Racism is everywhere in fandoms, but white, western antishippers are...a particular breed...oozing with arrogance and ethnocentrism.

Thanks for reading my rambling novel if you made it to the end, this is just a venting post. I hate discourse.

#pro ship #anti ship #pro shipping #anti shipping #ship discourse #pro shippers #anti shippers #fandom disk horse #haha #I don't care if i anger you #stay mad #don't like block #fandom #pro shippers aren't oppressed #but neither are antis #this is such a white debate lol #minors aren't oppressed either #boo hoo #oh pooor me

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skalidra · 6 months ago

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Boy, that's a lot.

So first off, I'll cop to the notification being a misfire. Honestly I'd hundred-percent forgotten I even clicked into this post from your reblog, so no, the reply wasn't aimed specifically at you. (I blocked, gosh, six or seven people off this post?) It does include you, though, absolutely!

(And while we're on this, aimed at your tags: No, it's not weird to block someone you've never interacted with? I see someone being judgy, or someone being an asshole, and I block them. It's not complicated. You are totally welcome to block me, too! That'll get rid of that notification for you!)

Okay, now the rest of... this.

I'll start, I guess, with how Tumblr works. First off, you're not 'voicing to the void' anything; you've put your opinion and your comments into the notes of the post you put them on. Anyone that looks at that post is now going to see this in the notes, if they look at reblogs (and many people do!), so it's not voicing them just on 'your post', either. It's not your post. Also, at a quick look on your blog, I can see that you've done the same thing to a couple Slade/Jason things you reblogged recently, and those comments go directly to the person who posted it, so great job telling 'the void' (the OPs, directly) about how you definitely don't ship the things you reblogged. Sure they loved seeing that.

Moving on to the actual content of your reblogs.

"I didn’t even say that it was wrong to ship them." and "This is so weird and wronnggggg" are not statements that coexist. And it's cool, honestly, that you're less aggressively anti than most that would say something like that and you read some of the 'wrong' ships sometimes, but let's neither of us pretend that your first reblog was judgment-free. A quick list of things pulled out of that:

I believe that there probably shouldn't be shipping between adults/minors or incestuous ships

I hate that the top 4 biggest ships

I JUST HOPE TO FUCKIN GOD

NO OKAY WHAT THE FUCK

WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE SEEM OBSESSED WITH SHIPPING ADULTS WITH CHILDRENNNNNN

These ^ are not statements that imply no moral judgment. Saying 'Ship whatever you want (but I believe you shouldn't and why are you obsessed with this reprehensible thing?)' doesn't actually mean you didn't say the second part. I don't care if you dislike my ships; I couldn't give less of a fuck. I care (and I blocked you, originally) because I'm not interested in seeing anything from someone that feels the need to judge other people based on what they ship. You can 'publicly voice' your dislikes and judgment, yeah, and I can call you and others like you out on doing it in rude ways shortly before I block you, too. Such is the way of things.

Virtue signaling, by the way, isn't saying you dislike a ship. Virtue signaling is seeing a ship you think is wrong and feeling the 'need' to tell everyone else around that "I Would Never Do That, Who Would Do That?" in case someone gets the wrong idea about you, when it costs zero to just not say that on someone's post, instead. Does 'voicing it to the void' sound familiar, now? (And as a reminder, that reply was aimed at a lot of people; some did this more blatantly than you, definitely.)

My reading comprehension is fine, thanks. If you don't want to be judged on what you say 'in public', you can in fact just say it privately instead (like on actually your own post). Otherwise, you're going to have to deal with how people react.

TOP 10 Jason Todd "Red Hood"

1.-Jason Todd/Dick Grayson (8699) 2.-Jason Todd/Tim Drake (7011) 3.-Jason Todd/Roy Harper (3179) 4.-Jason Todd/Bruce Wayne (2147) 5.-Jason Todd/Slade Wilson (1114) 6.-Jason Todd/Damian Wayne (861) 7.-Jason Todd/Marinette Dupain-Cheng (837) 8.-Jason Todd/Stephanie Brown (565) 9.-Jason Todd/Kyle Rayner (440) 10.-Jason Todd/Roman Sionis (407)

This list doesn't include fanfics tagged with Jason Todd/Reader.

Please don't comment hate messages, this post is purely informative. I don't want my notifications to be filled with ship wars/hate or mean in general :/

#Long Post #Diskhorse #Shipping #Sorry for the notifs OP #Side note #the linked author is a pretty good one #Fics recommended #(I don't want to drag them to this post any more than they already have been)

363 notes · View notes

bbangsoonie · 4 years ago

Text

find me in your memory

member: sangyeon genre: angst word count: 10,200 synopsis: when you return to korea in hopes of recovering your lost memories, one of your new housemates seems oddly familiar. warning(s): inaccurate depiction of amnesia

Prologue:

You had locked yourself in a bathroom stall to run away from everyone’s obvious trying-not-to-stare glances. Your hand clenched around your phone as you stared at the top trending news article. Your father had officially announced his plans to advance his political career and alongside his name were the names of the rest of your family. Your mother, a renown actress. Your brother, a retired swimmer and a rising musician. And you, a rookie model who already walked in various fashion shows.

You were annoyed that your father chose today of all days to release the news. Today was White Day, meaning that boys were throwing you sweets left and right. You hated the extra attention and hated that you had to maintain elegance through it all. It was already bad enough that tonight was some fancy party your father arranged for the purpose of publicity and networking. You would be hiding under a mask all day and night now.

You sighed at the sound of the bell ringing to notify the students that lunch time was over. You dragged yourself out of the bathroom and braced yourself before you returned to your classroom.

People had already whispered about you in the hallways but your classroom erupted into full blown gossip. You heard guys discussing the news and girls expressing their jealousy.

“I guess the princess might actually become a princess now.” one girl said rather loudly. “Look at her. Pretending not to hear all of us. She must think we’re too lowly to even converse with.”

Her friend’s eyes widened at her bold outburst and tried to shush her.

“What? I’m not saying anything that isn’t true.” the girl freed herself from her friend’s grasp and blatantly stood in front of your desk. “Tell me, Y/n, am I wrong?”

You looked up to meet her eyes with a neutral expression. You wanted nothing more than to grab the opportunity to pick a fight with her. But you knew you would face repercussions with your parents so all you could do was force a small smile.

Before the girl could say something more, your homeroom teacher entered the room. Everyone quickly dispersed and found their seats.

“Y/n? Your father’s secretary is here to pick you up. You’ll be leaving school early today.” he said.

The statement prompted more hushed whispers as your classmates speculated the reason why you were being pulled out of class. Without a word, you grabbed your backpack and left. The secretary led you out of the building and into a black car.

You pulled out your phone and earbuds to accompany you for the ride. Closing your eyes, you rested your head on the window and increased the volume of your music. Your brother had sent you the guide for the song he was working on and asked for your opinion. You had grumpily agreed, slightly irked that he only contacted you for things like this.

You hated Younghoon for leaving you alone in this family. He was your father’s pride and joy when he was a national athlete. Granted, he was miserable his whole life pursuing swimming when all he wanted to do was sing. But still, you never expected him to suddenly retire and switch careers without confronting your parents. He simply packed up and left. Without a warning or explanation, he just moved out. By himself. Without you.

Now, all the burden of maintaining the family’s image was on you. You had been pushed into the modeling industry so your father could have a pretty face to marry off later on. However, with Younghoon leaving the sports scene, your father was furious that your entire family were all entertainers without higher aspirations. It was too late for you to learn a sport so now you were to get accepted into Seoul University’s business school. Your father insisted on having at least one socially respectable child.

Your brother spent the last couple of years cutting contact with the family. He refused to attend events or partake in promotional photoshoots. The only time you could ever see him was when he came to take the annual family portrait. That was the only duty he would now fulfill as the eldest son of the Kim family.

You hated him but you also couldn’t despise him. If your affection for him were to turn sour, you’d truly be alone in this world. Yet you were still upset every time your calls went to his voicemail and he replied with a text hours later to apologize. You knew he was busy making up for lost time but it still hurt that he was able to enjoy his freedom while you remained suffocated.

“Miss, we’ve arrived.” the secretary spoke.

You opened your eyes and saw that the car pulled up in front of a beauty salon. You sighed, realizing you would have to get your hair and makeup done. So you went, sitting in front of a mirror for hours as people hovered around you to make you presentable for the reporters that would welcome you with endless camera flashes. By the time they finished, you were given a white silky dress to wear. It was as if your parents wanted to send you off to get married right away.

Keeping your complaints to yourself, you got dressed and were rushed to the party. Your parents were already inside, meaning you had to face the cameras alone. Reporters shouted questions at you; the topics ranged from your outfit to your father’s political plans to your brother’s absence. Ignoring them all, you put on your capitalistic smile and posed. You then bid them goodbye and entered the venue.

It was packed with politicians and businessmen. You walked around, looking for the protagonist of this event. Your father had organized tonight under the guise of celebrating your mother’s upcoming film but the true celebration was the release of today’s news. He was here to garner support for his political campaign and he sure had a flamboyant way of doing it.

“My daughter!” you heard your mother’s voice call out.

You turned around and saw your mother beckoning you over. You put on another smile as you approached your parents. Your father pulled you in for a light hug and introduced you to the man in front of him.

“Y/n, this is Assemblyman Lee. We’ve grown quite close this past year. Assemblyman Lee, this is the daughter I’ve been bragging to you about. She’s even prettier in person, right?” he let out a hearty laugh.

You respectfully bowed and personally introduced yourself to the assemblyman.

“Yes, she is very beautiful indeed.” Assemblyman Lee agreed, joining his laughter. He then presented the tall male next to him. “This is my son, Juyeon. I believe he is the same age as you, Y/n.”

“He plays basketball and even modeled for Seoul Fashion Week.” your father mentioned. “Perhaps you’ve seen or heard of him before?”

“I think we may have passed by each other once or twice that day.” you smiled. To be honest, it was your first time meeting him.

“Assemblyman Lee and I get along like family and we were talking about becoming an actual family once you graduate college.” your father beamed.

Those words made your stomach drop. You knew you’d never get to choose your own partner but now that it was actually happening, you froze. Reality suddenly hit you like a truck. You were never going to have control over anything in your life. You were nothing but a pawn in your father’s journey to the Blue House.

You looked over at Juyeon who looked just as uncomfortable as you. This was the man who you were probably going to spend the rest of your life with and you had no idea what he was like. For all you knew, he could end up hating your guts. You felt panic taking over and excused yourself for an urgent visit to the bathroom.

Your vision was blurred as you quickly exited the ballroom and desperately searched for a private room. All you could think about was your brother.

Younghoon.

You needed him. His name was the only thing your brain could think of. You needed him to tell you that everything would be okay. That he would come save you. You knew it would be a lie but you needed to hear it anyway.

Once you found an unlocked storage room, your knees buckled and you fell to the floor. With trembling hands, you dialed your brother’s number and waited for him to pick up. You called him five times but only heard the line ring. Fighting back tears, you cursed him in your head.

You spent the next half hour trying to calm yourself down. Squatting down, you rocked back and forth with your hands covering your ears to block out the noise outside. Your hyperventilation was slowing and you weren’t struck by the fear of dying anymore. By the time you settled down, you felt numb.

With a solemn expression, you stepped out of the storage room. Avoiding the crowd, you wandered around until you found a back exit. Before you opened the door, however, you realized how much you’d stand out in your current attire. You called for the secretary and asked for one of your spare school uniforms. You changed into the blouse and skirt but left out the tie and jacket. Not having sneakers to change into, you kept your heels on.

You insisted that he return to the party and not follow you. You promised you’d be home by evening and shooed him away.

Now that you were finally free, you didn’t know where to go. School was already dismissed but the sun had yet to set. Without any plans, you just started walking. As you kept walking, you found yourself in front of your school.

You laughed in disbelief. Apparently this was the only place other than home that you knew. Finding yourself pathetic, you continued to walk up the path to the building.

The soccer team was still on the field practicing. You sat on a bench, watching them run and kick the ball around. You didn’t know a thing about the sport but found it oddly soothing to mindlessly stare.

After a while, you got tired of it and got up. You let your feet decide where to go next and ended up on the rooftop. The sky was now a golden color. You didn’t remember when you last saw such a view.

At that moment, your phone rang. It was Younghoon finally returning your missed calls. You stared at the screen, debating whether to pick up or not. By his second call, you decided to answer.

“Y/n! Is something wrong? Are you okay?” he asked as soon as you clicked “accept”.

You honestly didn’t know how to reply to his question. Looking back, you wondered if you had ever been “okay” in your life. Was this living or was this just enduring?

“I’m so sorry I missed your calls. I was at the recording studio.” he apologized. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” you lied. “I just missed you. A lot.”

You heard him let out a sigh of relief. Then his guilty voice.

“I miss you too.” he paused. “Listen, I’m extremely sorry for leaving you to deal with Father. I just… I couldn’t handle it anymore. I felt like I was gonna go insane. I could put up with everything but his demand to quit music. That was the last straw. It was the only bit of freedom I ever enjoyed and I couldn’t have that taken away from me as well.”

“But what about my freedom?” you wanted to ask.

“I know I’m a terrible brother. And an even worse son.” he admitted.

Not wanting him to feel sorry, you muttered a soft ��whatever”.

“Once I finish recording this song, I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to sneak you out for a sibling date.” he said.

This was the seventh time he made this promise. Either he was always too busy or you could never escape the tight schedule set for you. But like the six other times before, you pretended to believe it.

The call ended soon after and you were left alone in silence. The tranquility on the roof contrasted the storm inside your head. You had spent your entire life striving to achieve your parents’ impossible standards. You were never enough. Never smart enough. Never pretty enough. Never social enough.

Everyone at school saw you as little miss perfect. It brought you both unwanted attention and hatred. People saw you as unapproachable and snobby. Some even expressed their disgust at how fake you seemed. At the same time, there were those who wanted to use you and your connections. There was always someone who wanted something from you.

You felt trapped.

The edge of the roof seemed to call and entice you. As if in a trance, you walked over to the wall and climbed on top of it. You sat on the ledge and took in a deep breath. You stared at the sight in front of you. Most of the soccer team had left school grounds by now. You only heard scattered voices here and there. It was probably the remaining students hollering at each other across the field.

The rest of the world seemed so peaceful. It felt like you were the only one unable to escape chaos. You swung your legs, enjoying the evening breeze. You didn’t want to ever leave this spot.

Your phone vibrated, notifying you of a new message.

“You’ll be meeting Juyeon this weekend. I expect it to go better than tonight.” it read.

Your grip on the device tightened. Without giving you a break, another message from your father arrived.

“Also, your exam scores came out. Your ranking dropped to fourth place. We’ll talk at home.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to pull your hair out and cry. Instead, you stood up and glared at the phone in your hand. Your hand was now trembling because of how tightly you were holding it.

By now, emotions were beyond you. Feeling pity for yourself was nothing but a waste of time. It didn’t fix things and it surely didn’t make you feel any better. You were just tired of it all.

Allowing yourself one last angry outburst, you threw your phone down. You didn’t watch it fall from the roof and hit the ground. It instantly broke on contact. Unbeknownst to you, the fall startled a male student passing by.

“What the heck?” Sangyeon exclaimed out loud. He had stuck around after school to watch Sunwoo’s soccer practice. They were about to head out for dinner when he remembered that he left his wallet in his locker. He had sent his friend ahead first as he ran back inside to grab it.

He took a closer look at what almost hit his head and was puzzled to see a phone. Looking for the lunatic who nearly killed him, he lifted his head to see where it came from. After his eyes adjusted to the sunlight, he gasped when he saw you standing on the ledge of the rooftop. Getting a bad feeling, he found himself running up the steps. The whole time, “please don’t die” raced through his head.

By the time he made it up to the roof, he was sweaty and out of breath. He wanted to collapse in exhaustion but his eyes widened as you began to inch towards the edge. His body reacted before his mind and he ran to pull you off.

The sudden grip on your wrist spun you around and you fell in what felt like slow motion. You landed on the boy’s chest that was breathing hard. You could hear his heart pump like crazy and his eyes were still closed in fright.

Realizing what just happened, you quickly got off him and dusted yourself off.

“What was that for?” you asked in a hostile tone.

Finally catching his breath, he opened his eyes and jumped up. His eyes almost bulged when he recognized your face.

“Are you crazy?” he yelled, pretending not to know who you were.

“You’re the crazy one butting into other people’s business.” you frowned.

For someone who was about to jump off a building, you looked eerily calm. Sangyeon searched for any signs of distress in your eyes but could only spot annoyance. Still, his gut told him that something was wrong. The empty look on your face scared him.

“Well while we’re in the middle of crazy anyway, why don’t you tell me what pushed you this far?” he bravely inquired. “Bottling everything inside alone will only make things worse. It’s better to just spill everything to a complete stranger you won’t ever see again.”

It was out of character for him to be so nosy but he strangely felt a strong desire to help you. As for you, you normally would have walked away from this situation minutes ago. Yet you still stood in front of this odd boy who demanded to be your impromptu diary.

He intrigued you. He was knocking at the stone wall you put up years ago. He seemed so bright and innocent. It bothered you.

Despite your irritation, something about his eyes made yours water. The way his eyes softened as he looked at you made you feel vulnerable. It seemed as if he could read you like an open book. It brought a wave of emotions you had suppressed for so long.

He stepped closer and offered you a comforting pat on the shoulder. The second his hand made contact, your tears finally escaped and ran down your face. You hadn’t felt the warmth of another human since you last saw your brother. The sudden consolation broke you. Then, like the domino effect, your sobs turned into bawling as your facade crumbled at last.

Sangyeon was shocked to say the least. He never would have thought the Y/n would be crying in his arms. In fact, he never expected to ever cross paths with you. He had only ever heard of you through other students’ gossip. They painted you out to be cold-hearted but the sight in front of him said otherwise.

Hesitantly, he pulled you in for a hug. Recalling how his mom used to comfort him, he tried to soothe you by slowly patting your back. The two of you stayed like that until your cries eventually faded out. Embarrassment belatedly hit you and awkward silence hung in the air. You felt like you owed him an explanation but you couldn’t even pinpoint the exact reason for your actions.

“Thank you.” you muttered softly while sniffling.

Sangyeon smiled in response and rummaged through his pocket to find something. He pulled out a lollipop and handed it to you.

“Even being sad takes energy. You should recharge your blood sugar.” he said as he placed it in your own pocket when you didn’t move to accept it. “Let it all out from time to time. It’s not healthy to always keep negativity inside you.”

You dwelled on his words for a moment. No one had ever told you that before. Everyone was always telling you to tolerate things. You weren’t allowed to disagree with your parents. You had to accept and deal with Younghoon’s departure without expressing how upset you were. You were expected to quietly receive criticism and never retaliate. You figured it was only a matter of time before the pressure eventually set off the bomb inside you. Like today.

Up until now, you thought the only solution for the explosion would be to just end it all. It never occurred to you that you could begin to disobey everything you were taught.

“Thank you.” you repeated. With that, you got up to leave.

“W-Wait!” he called out, causing you to pause. “Where are you going?”

“To eat dinner. You said it takes energy to be sad, right?” you smiled.

Sangyeon didn’t expect to see you again the next day. Cramming last minute for a test, he opted to skip lunch and study at the library instead. After he settled down, he looked up to see across the table. He had to fight the urge to gape.

Feeling someone’s gaze on you, you lifted your head to see the boy in front of you. Recognizing his face, you quickly shut your book closed and got up to leave. He was left flabbergasted at your blatant avoidance of him.

Meanwhile, you were cursing in your head. You chastised yourself for not realizing that he also went to your school. Stupidly, you hadn’t made the connection the day before on the rooftop. Of course he was only there at that hour because he was a student there. Now you were extremely humiliated. And afraid that rumors would spread.

“Hey, wait up!” he called out as he chased after you, earning him a stern glare from the librarian. You didn’t listen and only quickened your pace.

Unfortunately for you, his long legs easily caught up with you. He gently grabbed your wrist to stop you from running away. You scowled when you realized he wouldn’t just ignore you.

“Why are you pretending that you don’t know me?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“I don’t know who you are,” you deadpanned. Your words rendered him speechless and after a few seconds of silence, you turned around to leave.

“Well, my name is Sangyeon,” he persisted, pointing at his name tag.

He spent the next couple of weeks following you around. At first, you found him annoying. He reminded you of your lowest point in life. But slowly, he wormed his way into your heart and established a place for himself there.

He would greet you each morning with a cheeky smile and a carton of banana milk. To be honest, you didn’t even like banana milk. Yet, you found yourself looking forward to it every day.

Eventually, you two formed an unbreakable bond. He was your only friend and all your free time was spent with him. Every time you felt suffocated by your parents, you reached out to Sangyeon for comfort. You never disclosed anything to him but his presence alone cheered you up. He made you focus on him and forget about everything else. You should’ve known that it was inevitable for you to fall for him.

He was that upperclassman that all the younger female students fawned over. You hated to admit it but you were also among the many who thought he was charming. You felt a pang of jealousy whenever you saw other girls swoon over him as he passed by.

Gradually, your personality began to shift into becoming more lively. You were grateful to have him show you the little things in life. You grew to like yourself and the world a little more.

Present:

You stared at the house in front of you. Twelve years ago, you left this house and town to attend school in Seoul. Seven years ago, you left Korea to move to California. Now, you were back as an adult. It felt strange.

Feeling the winter breeze chill your bones, you shuddered at the cold temperature and hurried inside. You were surprised at how neat the place was; you assumed that someone had been sent to save you from the hassle of cleaning.

Trudging up the stairs, you struggled with your large suitcase. You found your old childhood bedroom and roughly unpacked. Having only less than twelve hours until your new housemates moved in, you felt rushed to get the house ready to meet them. You decided to just wash up and sleep tonight and wake up early in the morning to go grocery shopping.

So you slipped into unconsciousness and spent a relatively quiet night. It wasn’t until morning that you were awoken by a dream. It was the same dream that haunted you for the past seven years. Ever since the accident, the same recurring scene appeared to you in your sleep. To be honest, the exact events were fuzzy but it always left you with the same nostalgic and longing feelings. It bothered you how uneasy it made you feel.

You groaned, noting that your alarm clock hadn’t even rung yet. With a loud sigh, you got up and got dressed. With over a decade between your last visit and the present, you relied on the GPS to navigate your way around the unfamiliar neighborhood.

As you walked around the quiet streets, you took the time to enjoy the scenery. You came back to this town to escape the city life but appreciated that it wasn’t entirely in the middle of nowhere.

Luckily, there was a supermarket nearby. There, you picked out a bunch of ingredients you figured would be used often. You didn’t cook much but wanted to change that.

The trip took longer than expected and you picked up your speed to make it back home before your housemates arrived. You let out a breath of relief when you returned and saw that no one was stuck outside waiting. Humming to a song you didn’t remember the title of, your steps were light as you put away the groceries. When you finished, you took a proper look at the house and were displeased at how bare it was. You made a mental note to buy decorations later to fill your new place with signs of human habitation.

At that moment, the bell rang. Suddenly feeling a bit nervous, you ran to the door. When you opened it, you were greeted by four males who seemed surprised at your appearance.

“Hello! Are you the tenants moving in today?” you asked.

“Yes, I believe we spoke with your… brother? On the phone,” one answered.

“It was probably my father’s secretary that you’ve been in contact with,” you said as you opened the door wider to let them inside. “Please, come in.”

They followed you into the house and dragged their luggage behind them. Once they were all inside, you extended your hand towards them.

“My name is Y/n and I will be the one living here with you all,” you introduced.

“My name is Jacob! I hope we get along well,” the one who first spoke grinned as he shook your hand.

You went down the line, greeting and shaking hands with Changmin and Jaehyun. By the time you got to the last person, however, your hand was left hanging. He stared at you with an expression you couldn’t decipher.

“I’m Sangyeon. Lee Sangyeon,” he finally said, taking your hand.

“Nice to meet you, Sangyeon,” you smiled.

You offered them a tour of the house and showed them their respective rooms. While they unpacked, you offered to order food. It was approaching noon and you still hadn’t eaten breakfast. They declined at first but gave in when you insisted on treating them.

By the time the food was delivered, the five of you gathered in the kitchen. You were pouring water for everyone and Jacob began to take out the bowls.

“Jajangmyun is fitting for today, right?” you commented on the Korean tradition of eating Chinese food on moving days.

After everyone was seated, you gestured for them to dig in and began eating. You let out a sigh of happiness at the taste you had missed in the United States. Korean food there just wasn’t the same as Korean food back at home.

“So, Y/n, how did you end up in this town?” Sangyeon asked. Something about his eyes felt intimate yet you still couldn’t pinpoint the reason why.

“I actually just arrived in Korea last night,” you chuckled. “I’ve been living abroad for a while.”

“Abroad? Really?” Jacob perked. “I used to live overseas as well! Toronto, to be exact.”

“I stayed in California for the most part,” you clarified.

“Oh really? California? Los Angeles?” Changmin asked in English. You giggled at his slight accent, finding it cute.

“Yes, I lived in L.A. for 7 years,” you said in English, laughing when Jaehyun’s eyes widened at your pronunciation.

While the four of you chatted, Sangyeon stayed quiet. He watched as Jaehyun asked you about life in America and Changmin told you about the time he visited New York City. He felt a twinge of jealousy when Jacob conversed with you in English.

“It’s definitely Y/n. It has to be. She looks exactly like her and has the same name. But why is she acting like she doesn’t know me? There’s no way she doesn’t remember me,” Sangyeon thought.

The next morning, you woke up early again due to jet lag. Throwing a robe over your pajamas, you headed downstairs to start making breakfast. You rummaged through the fridge, pondering on what to cook. Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice someone else enter the kitchen.

“Good morning,” he said, startling you.

With a slight jump, you turned around to see Sangyeon. Embarrassed, you cleared your throat and exchanged greetings with him. He spotted the gleam of a necklace hidden under your robe and furrowed his brows.

“That’s the necklace I got her. It’s Y/n for sure,” he thought.

Again, you felt his piercing gaze on you. Still unable to understand why he kept staring at you, you awkwardly turned back around. Sangyeon walked towards the kettle to make himself a cup of tea, still conscious of your presence. With that, he went back up to his room, leaving you alone once again.

Eyeing the bag of sliced bread, you decided to just settle for toast. After the simple meal, you went back to your room to get ready. It was the weekend and you planned on shopping for little trinkets to furnish the house with.

When you came back, you found your new cohabitants watching TV in the living room. You politely refused their help with the bags, setting them down on the table. You pulled out a few small photo frames and held them out to show them.

“Aren’t these adorable?” you beamed. “I was thinking of decorating the place with photos. You know, to add some warmth and humanity. Feel free to take a couple and add your own pictures.”

You placed a handful of the frames in front of them, encouraging them to take some. After excusing yourself for a second, you quickly ran up to your room to grab the printed photos on your desk. When you rejoined the group in the living room, you began to insert them into the picture frames.

“Is this from your high school entrance day?” Jaehyun asked, holding a photograph up.

“Yup,” you nodded. “To be honest, though, I don’t really remember much from high school.”

Changmin, finding a photo of you in front of the Hollywood sign, asked if it was taken during your college years.

“Ah, yes that’s when I first began my life in America. I was both anxious and eager to leave Korea behind,” you said, unaware of Sangyeon's wince at your words.

“Oh… Would it be okay for me to ask why?” Jacob asked.

“Of course. It’s all in the past,” you laughed. “I had some bad memories in Seoul and left abruptly at the end of my last year of high school. That was when I moved to L.A. to start anew.”

Sangyeon recalled the day you disappeared. He had texted you, asking to meet at the playground. After finding out about a misunderstanding you had, he wanted to resolve it as soon as possible. He waited there for hours but you never showed. You missed school for a week before your teacher suddenly announced that you would not be returning.

And that was the end of his friendship with you. You left without a warning or farewell. Now, you stood in front of him again. After seven years, he was reunited with you as an adult. He was both excited and confused. When he first saw you at the door, he wanted to blurt your name out and catch up on all the missed time. But when you introduced yourself to him as if it was your first meeting, he found himself doing the same.

At every encounter, you acted as if he was a stranger. At first, he thought you forgot about him and it hurt. But now, he supposed that you just wanted to forget about him. When you mentioned that you had bad memories of Seoul and that you were glad to start fresh in Los Angeles, he realized that he was nothing but a painful past to you.

So he put on a poker face and went along with your little act. For a month, he kept his distance from you and made sure to stay within the strict boundaries of a landlord and a tenant. While his friends grew close to you, he remained reserved.

“Why are you so cold to Y/n?” Changmin once asked him. Sangyeon never answered the question and continued to keep his facade up.

Meanwhile, you were clueless as to why Sangyeon was so standoffish. You had asked his friends, who were a lot more pleasant, if he was normally inhospitable to new people. At their unnatural attempts to change the subject, you figured it was just you that he disliked.

Still, Sangyeon couldn’t hide his innate desire to take care of you in his own ways. Every time your favorite snack ran low in the pantry, he would stack up on it next time he went to the mart. Knowing you hated the cold, he would make sure to keep the house temperature high—even when Jaehyun went to lower it, complaining that he was hot. When you fell asleep on the couch, he would cover you with the blanket you kicked to the floor.

The boy in front of you was extremely close as he reached behind your shoulders to put the necklace on for you. You held your breath and felt your heart race.

“There,” he grinned proudly. “How pretty.”

“Me or the necklace?” you asked, half joking and half serious. He shrugged, prompting you to playfully punch his arm.

“Now you’re forever indebted to me, Y/n. That’s a one of a kind necklace you can’t find anywhere else. Be honored I made it for you,” he declared. You rolled your eyes at his arrogance but still smiled nonetheless.

“Since I gave you this, you can’t ever forget me, okay?” he made you promise.

Your eyes opened, waking you up from your dream. Finding it odd how vivid it was, you frowned and sat up. You wondered if it was a part of your missing memory.

The view outside your window revealed a white wonderland, reminding you that the weather forecast predicted a snowstorm today. You groaned, remembering that today was also the day that you would be alone with Sangyeon. Jacob was on a business trip whereas Changmin and Jaehyun went to their hometowns to visit their parents.

“The snow just has to lock us inside this house today of all days,” you mumbled as you snuggled back into your blanket.

You closed your eyes, wanting to sleep a little more. After half an hour of trying to fall back asleep, you gave up with an exasperated sigh. You changed into a sweatshirt and went downstairs to make yourself some hot chocolate.

To your surprise, Sangyeon was already in the kitchen with a cup of hot chocolate. You both froze, not knowing how to interact without at least one of the other three guys.

“Here, you can have this one. I’ll make myself another one,” he finally spoke, handing you the cup topped with marshmallows.

You muttered a word of thanks as you wrapped your hands around the warm drink. Looking at the window, you saw that the snow was piling up a lot already. In an attempt to break through the walls Sangyeon had built around you, you mustered up the courage to ask if he wanted to watch a movie together. Taken aback, he nodded before he even fully processed your question.

That’s how the two of you ended up on the coach with a randomly chosen film playing on the TV screen. The movie was better than you thought it’d be. The subtle love line brought a comedic relief in such an action-packed plot. You enjoyed it until the main character ended up with amnesia; it made you uncomfortable as it reminded you of your own accident. Noticing that you weren’t focusing on the movie anymore, Sangyeon paused it and asked if you wanted to stop watching.

Not wanting to ruin the mood, you shook your head. He stared at you for a bit before turning it off. Although you were relieved, you felt bad because he seemed to be enjoying the film.

Trying to make up for it, you offered to make lunch. At his reluctance, you insisted since you both had to eat and delivery would take a long time. He followed you into the kitchen, watching as you surfed the internet for recipes.

You managed to keep the conversation flowing as you cooked. You asked about his job and he asked about your experience as a college student in another country. You were happy that he was finally opening up to you. By the end of the meal, you felt comfortable enough to share a little more about yourself.

“To be honest, I was very hesitant about coming back to Korea. When I left seven years ago, I left behind a lot,” you began.

“Yeah, you left me behind,” Sangyeon wanted to say. Instead, he kept his thoughts to himself.

“I mentioned before that I don’t remember much of my high school years. The only memories I have of back then are whatever my parents told me. Which isn’t much. They were always too busy to know what went on in my life,” you stated.

Trying to piece the information together, he carefully asked what you meant by that.

“I got into a car accident seven years ago,” you sheepishly revealed, making his eyes widen. “Apparently I was in a coma for about a week. When I woke up, I was told that I was suffering from amnesia. I was hospitalized for another few weeks to recover and then sent to California to be with my cousin, Eric. There, I went through physical therapy and attended university. I was hoping to leave behind my trauma in Korea.”

“O-Oh, I didn’t know you went through all that,” he stammered, embarrassed.

“I feel like there’s a part of my life that I’m missing and I hate it,” you confessed. “I get these dreams sometimes and I think it might be my missing memories but I’m not too sure.”

The two of you fell into silence. Sangyeon despised himself for not knowing what happened. He had been too busy pitying himself to stop and think from your perspective. He didn’t deserve to have you remember him. He figured it was best that you forgot him. There was no point in disclosing everything now anyway.

After that day, you thought you had gotten closer to Sangyeon. Contrary to your expectations, however, you grew even more distant. At first, you thought you were overthinking. But as the week went on, it became obvious that he was indeed avoiding you.

Eventually, Jacob confronted him about it. He trapped his best friend and demanded an explanation.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sangyeon lied with a straight face. Sighing, Jacob let it go. He knew that he couldn’t force anything out of him.

Despite Sangyeon’s efforts to keep away from you, he still continued to quietly do little things for you. Luckily for him, you didn’t notice. You didn’t think twice about the pot of coffee that was always prepared every morning or your shoes that were neatly put away after you left them scattered at the entrance.

You didn’t know why you felt so disappointed. You didn’t realize that you had grown attached to him as time passed by. Something about him felt familiar and comfortable. Yet, at the same time, he felt like a challenge. He was aloof but occasionally had moments that showed his soft side. He intrigued you.

“Y/n, you can’t keep associating yourself with that boy. Imagine how shocked we were when we heard those rumors about you two dating! You know your father has plans for you and Juyeon,” your mother chided.

“It’s the 21st century! I am not getting into an arranged marriage. Especially not just for the sake of father’s political ambitions,” you yelled.

A slap was delivered to your face. The sound was loud and you felt your cheek throb in pain. Bewildered, you glared at the woman in front of you. Deeming your action as disrespectful, your mother slapped you once again.

“You don’t even deserve to be called a mother,” you spat.

With that, you stormed out of the house. The boy your mother demanded you to stay away from wasn’t even your boyfriend. You had hoped that he would be one day but that hope dissipated when you saw another girl in his arms earlier that day. Tears blinded your vision as you fumbled for your phone. You called Eric, praying that he would pick up despite the time difference. To your relief, he did and his voice caused you to sob.

“Y/n? Y/n, what’s wrong?” Eric asked, concerned.

You barely managed to tell him what was going on in between your cries. He tried to calm you down but it was futile. You weren’t listening. You were too busy running away. Too busy to notice the car that was speeding towards you.

You woke up gasping for air. Your heart was beating fast as you checked your surroundings. Once you realized that you were in your room and not on the streets, you relaxed.

“Was that just a dream? Or a flashback?” you murmured. You brushed it off, blaming your return to Korea for these weird dreams.

Eric was landing in Korea today and you were thrilled. You missed him greatly and couldn’t wait to see him again. You glanced at the clock to check the time. You had to leave soon to greet him at the airport. Quickly getting dressed, you hummed in excitement.

On your way down, you heard the doorbell ring. You cocked your head, wondering if one of the guys had invited a guest. You shouted out that you’d get the door and ran to open it.

“Surprise!” Eric yelled, holding a bouquet of flowers.

It took you a moment to process the scene in front of you. You blinked a few times before you squealed and jumped into his arms. He laughed, dropping the flowers to hold onto you. The noise brought your housemates downstairs with curiosity. You quickly introduced everyone to each other and pulled your cousin inside once they finished exchanging greetings.

“I thought your plane was landing in an hour!” you exclaimed.

“I told you the wrong time so I could come surprise you instead,” he winked.

You didn’t notice Eric staring Sangyeon down but Sangyeon definitely did. He tried to ignore it, assuming that your cousin just wasn’t happy with the fact that you were living with four males.

You spent the rest of the day catching up with Eric and exploring your neighborhood together. You showed him your favorite cafe and feasted on the waffles there. He filled you in on how his parents—your aunt and uncle—were doing. They drilled him to make sure he told you how much they missed you, making you giggle. As proof of his completed mission, he took a selfie with you to send to them.

“I miss them too,” you pouted. “I better video call them soon. It’s hard trying to match the time zone and their work schedule.”

“Or,” he dragged out the word expectantly. “You could just move back to L.A.”

“Eric, you know why I came back. And what it took for me to do so.”

“I know, I know. But I honestly don’t know how I feel about you trying to retrieve your memory. Maybe some things are better left forgotten?”

“For the past seven years, something in the corner of my brain has been irking me. I know I’m forgetting something important. I feel it.”

He sighed and put his hands up as a sign of defeat.

“Just remember that if you don’t find what you’re looking for or if you aren’t happy with what you find, you can always go back to join me in L.A.” he said softly.

It was a hard secret to keep from you for almost a decade. In exchange for calling off your arranged marriage, your parents made him promise to never tell you about what happened the day of the accident. You moving to Los Angeles was the solution your parents came up with to keep you away from that past.

Seeing Sangyeon at your house gave him a bad feeling. He didn’t know what he told you and was scared that it was only a matter of time before your memories returned after seeing him so often.

Before Eric left for Seoul, he pulled Sangyeon aside to give him a warning.

“I don’t know why you’re lingering around my cousin but I know who you are,” Eric glared. “I obviously don’t know the whole story of what happened back when you two were in high school but I don’t quite like you. If you’re simply here for a place to live, keep it that way. Don’t put anything in Y/n’s head. She doesn’t need to remember what you did to her.”

“What I did to her?” Sangyeon repeated, confused. “But I didn’t- wait, are you talking about-”

“You know what I’m talking about,” Eric interrupted. “You led her on and then hugged another girl right in front of her.”

“The girl she saw me with wasn’t my girlfriend. She suddenly came up to me and confessed. That hug was initiated by her and was one sided. I found out about that misunderstanding and was trying to clear it up the day she disappeared.”

“Does it matter anymore after all these years?” Eric sighed. “Listen, you have no idea what Y/n went through back then and what was sacrificed to let her live the way she wanted to.”

“If there’s something you want to tell me, don’t beat around the bush,” Sangyeon frowned. Eric let out an exasperated sigh, conflicted. He wasn’t sure if it was his place to reveal details to him but he felt that it was necessary.

“That day. Y/n’s parents found out about how you two had a thing. There were rumors going around and it reached their ears. I don’t know if Y/n ever told you but they already had a guy in mind for her. Some stupid politics shit. Obviously, she said that was ridiculous but what power does a teenager have over their parents? She was fighting so hard for you but it was all in vain. You broke her heart.”

Sangyeon’s face crumbled at his words. You had never told him about the struggles you had in your home but he should have caught on from the day he first met you.

“That accident took away her memory. For better or for worse. She forgot all about the guy her parents pushed her towards and she forgot about the pain you caused her. And to be quite frank, I want it to stay that way. She came back to Korea to recover her memories but she deserves peace and happiness. She doesn’t need any more dramatic twists in her life. If you still truly care for her, you would agree,” your cousin said before he left.

A figure stood in front of you. You couldn’t see the face but there was a sense of familiarity. It was the same boy from your previous dreams.

“How could you not remember me, Y/n?” he asked.

You wanted to hold his hand and try to recall who he was. You wanted to hug him and tell him that you didn’t intentionally forget him. But your body would not move according to your will.

You awoke to a pounding head and sore throat. Feeling your nose run, you reached out for a tissue. You moaned in pain, realizing you had a bodyache as well. You couldn’t bear to get up and pulled the blanket closer to your body to keep warm. Closing your eyes, you allowed yourself to fall back asleep.

Downstairs, the guys were eating lunch together. Jaehyun looked at his watch and verbally noted that you still hadn’t woken up.

“Do you think we should wake her up to eat?” Changmin asked, to which Jacob shook his head, saying that they should leave you to rest.

“I wonder if she’s sick? I heard her coughing in the middle of the night when I got up to go to the bathroom,” Jaehyun said.

On the outside, Sangyeon pretended not to care. On the inside, however, he was extremely worried. You always got sick at least twice each winter. After quickly finishing his meal, he grabbed his coat and headed out to the pharmacy. He asked for any and every medicine to help with colds and kept the bag in his pocket when he came back.

He stopped in front of your door with his hand hovering mid-knock. He decided against knocking and left the bag of medicines hanging on your handle.

When evening came around, Jacob went up to your room with a bowl of porridge. Seeing the bag still on the door, he knocked and entered with it.

“So you are sick,” he commented when he saw your disheveled image.

“Jacob, you are an angel,” you gasped at the sight of the food.

“Actually, the medicine isn’t from me. I think that might have been Jaehyun. It was left on your door handle,” he said as he set the tray down on your desk.

You thanked him for the porridge and made a mental note to thank Jaehyun later. Too tired to do anything else, you took the medicine and fell into another deep sleep.

The next day, you felt better enough to get out of bed. Wrapping a blanket around your shoulders, you trudged downstairs. You saw Jaehyun in the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee and said good morning.

“Oh! I didn’t get the chance to tell you yesterday but thanks for the medicine,” you smiled.

“Huh? What medicine?” he tilted his head in confusion.

“You weren’t the one who left medicine for me outside my door?” you blinked. He shook his head and you assumed that it had been Changmin.

However, when you asked Changmin about it, he was clueless as well. It left you with only one other possibility and your heart skipped a beat at the thought. Wanting to express your gratitude, you went out and bought ingredients to make him some kimbap. You spent the rest of the morning working hard in the kitchen, persevering through multiple mistakes.

You groaned the third time the kimbap popped while you tried to roll it. You considered giving up for a brief moment but shook your head. With a determined sigh, you pulled out another sheet of dried seaweed and began your fourth attempt.

Finally, you managed to decently succeed. You grinned in triumph at your slightly deformed roll. After cleaning up the mess you made, you looked out the window to see Sangyeon reading in the yard with a beanie on and a scarf wrapped around his neck. Hoping to keep him warm, you poured a cup of hot coffee and walked towards him with the food nicely plated.

“Hey Sangyeon,” you said as you held out the plate. “I made you some kimbap for you to munch on as you read.”

“No thanks,” he said coldly. You blinked, not expecting such an answer.

“O-Oh… do you not like kimbap?” you awkwardly laughed. “Here, have some coffee then.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to mind me,” he closed his book and stood up to leave. You frowned at his rudeness, ticked off.

“You could at least take the coffee if you don’t want the food,” you said, making him pause. “Or at the very least politely decline considering the effort I put in.”

“I never asked you to put in any effort towards me.”

You scoffed and put the cup and plate down to fold your arms. His harsh words were so different from his kind actions. It constantly felt like he was trying so hard to push you out and you didn’t understand why.

“Then what’s with the medicine you left for me yesterday?” you confronted him. He froze, not knowing how he got caught. He then noticed that you came outside with no outerwear, making him sigh. Trying to avoid an argument, he silently took his scarf off and put it on you before turning around to leave.

“What the hell, Lee Sangyeon?” you blurted. You placed yourself in front of him to stop him from leaving.

“What is with you? Literally one day you’re taking care of me behind my back and the next you’re avoiding me like the plague. Is this your tsundere concept or what?” you huffed.

You waited for him to say something back but he kept his lips pursed. Exasperated, you ripped the scarf off and stormed back inside.

Sangyeon cursed at himself in his mind. He could’ve handled that a lot better. Sighing, he bent down to pick up the scarf thrown on the ground. At a closer glance, he saw your necklace buried in the fabric. He held it up and stared at the jewelry in his palm. With a conflicted expression, his grip tightened around it, enclosing it in his fist.

You decided that you were over Sangyeon once and for all. You didn’t care how tired he came home looking every night or if was eating properly. You officially gave up on getting closer to him. If he wanted to push you away with his stupid tsundere ways, then that was his problem and not yours.

Grumbling, you climbed into bed to comfort yourself by watching Netflix. You very much rather preferred having your mind occupied with fictional characters than your own issues.

By the time evening rolled around, you grabbed your clothes and headed to the bathroom to shower. Your hands reached up to your neck to take your necklace off but were met with bare skin. Your eyes widened as you looked in the mirror, realizing that the necklace was gone.

You didn’t remember when or where you got it but you always had a feeling that it was important to you. You felt anxious without it.

You rushed to the kitchen to find it. Changmin was staring at you, perplexed, as you crawled across the floor to check every nook and cranny.

“Are you looking for something?” he asked.

“My necklace,” you tensed. “I can’t find it anywhere. Have you seen it here?”

He shook his head as he apologized, saying he hadn’t. Fretting, you checked the living room hoping it was hidden somewhere on the couch. When it still didn’t turn up, you ran outside to check the yard.

At that moment, Jacob and Sangyeon came down and saw Changmin looking out the window. Curious to see what he was watching, they followed his gaze to see you examining the grass.

“What’s Y/n doing?” Jacob asked.

“I think she lost her necklace,” Changmin answered as he took another bite of his apple. “It must be really important to her. She’s been searching for a while now.”

“I hope she finds it soon. It’s cold out at night,” Jacob said with a concerned look on his face.

Sangyeon stiffened, feeling the necklace in his pocket. He brushed it off, thinking you would give up soon. After pouring himself a cup of tea, he returned to his room. The sky rumbled, warning of incoming rain.

“I’m sure she’ll come back in now,” he mumbled.

Half an hour passed as Sangyeon continued reading his book. It was now pouring outside and the raindrops tapped violently against the windows. He reached out for his tea, only to notice be met with an empty cup. He placed the book down and went to the kitchen for a refill.

He was shocked to see you still in the yard, crouched down with a flashlight. Anger bubbled up inside him and he found himself grabbing an umbrella and joining you outside. Holding your wrist, he lifted you up to face him. The rain ceaselessly attacked the umbrella over your heads and his heart broke at the sight of you. You were drenched and your hair stuck to the sides of your face.

“Let go of me. I need to find something,” you freed yourself from his grasp and went back to shifting through the grass.

“It’s late and it’s raining. You can look for it later,” he said as he pulled you back up.

“No, I have to find it now,” you insisted.

“Y/n, you’re sick!” he exploded. “What’s more important than your health right now?”

“My necklace!” you yelled back. “I can’t remember who gave it to me but I know it was a gift. I can’t lose it. I just know that it’s from someone important. It’s the missing memory I came back to Korea to find!”

His chest clenched as your tears blended in with the rain. He never thought that the necklace would mean so much to you. Hesitantly, he pulled it out from his pocket and handed it to you.

“I’m the one who gave it to you, Y/n,” he sighed, closing his eyes. “Seven years ago, I was the one who made this necklace and gave it to you. This isn’t what I meant when I said that you were indebted to me.”

Puzzled, you stared at the chain hanging from your clasp. You were beyond confused. If you had known Sangyeon, why did he never act like it? Then, the pieces started to come together and his behavior started to make sense. Those eyes that seemed to recognize you from day one. The endless supply of the snacks you never expressed your love for in front of the guys. The dreams that you suddenly understood now.

“You knew who I was the entire time… and you didn’t say anything?” your voice cracked. “You knew I was out here looking for the necklace that you had and you still didn’t say anything?”

“I-”

“Forget it,” you cut him off. You shoved the umbrella away from you and slowly walked towards the house.

“Now you’re forever indebted to me, Y/n. That’s a one of a kind necklace you can’t find anywhere else. Be honored I made it for you.”

You winced at the sudden flashback.

“Y/n, you can’t keep associating yourself with that boy.”

You shook your head as if the memories would shake out of your mind.

“You don’t even deserve to be called a mother.”

You stumbled, causing you to flinch. Sangyeon ran to hold onto you and caught you just in time before your knees went weak. You felt your lungs tighten as the world spun around you and his voice became muffled. Then, everything went black.

“We gave her a fever reducer so her temperature should be coming down soon,” the doctor said as he looked through your patient chart. “She can be discharged once she wakes up and finishes the IV treatment. As long as she rests well at home, she’ll be okay.”

Sangyeon profusely thanked the doctor before he felt to continue his rounds. Sitting down next to you, he sighed. This wasn’t what he intended at all. All he ever wanted was for you to be happy. Back then and even now, his priority had always been you. Even if it meant giving up his own desires. Even if it meant giving you up.

It was taking longer than expected for you to awaken. Sangyeon began to worry but the nurses assured him that there was no problem. He restlessly paced around your bed, praying that you were okay.

When you finally came to, it took you a moment to register your surroundings. In what felt like a long sleep, all of your lost memories came flooding back. Still overwhelmed by the sudden anamnesis, you grasped for the only thing that brought you a sense of familiarity and comfort—Sangyeon’s hand.

“Don’t leave me,” you croaked.

“I won’t. I promise I won’t let you go again,” he whispered, holding your hand tighter.

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