#If this doesn't work i'm GOING to kms
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MASTERLIST
This is purely for my own convenience but you're welcome to use it.
💲 Schlatt: 💲
Schlatt Thoughts/Pictures
He's a munch
Better for you
Wedding HCs
Housewife rant
Moaning for him
Step Bro Schlatt
Step Bro Schlatt pt 2
Blurb
Slow Kissing HCs
Pitching a Tent HCs
Anniversary
Dolly Reader
Vague HC
Blurb
Christmas Fluff
Sick
Sick child HCs
Sunburned HCs
Schlatt x SingleMom! Reader
Happy Birthday
🥛 Ted: 🥛
Blurb
Blurb
Christmas Fluff
Fiancée
DILF
🍃 Swaggersouls: 🍃
Blurb
There's been an accident
Christmas Fluff
Dating HCs
Bored
Woken Up
When you're overwhelmed
NSFW HCs
NSFW Blurb
Idiot
Friends
Drunk
🐼 Sapnap: 🐼
He's a munch
Vague HC
Newsies Persona
Vague HC
Blurb
Christmas Fluff
👓 GeorgeNotFound: 👓
The British are coming
Newsies Persona
Blurb
Christmas Fluff
💚 Dreamwastaken: 💚
Daughters Name
Wedding HCs
Newsies Persona
Vague HC
Memory
NSFW Wedding HCs
Blurb
Comforting Dream
Christmas Fluff
Tooth Rotting Fluff
🤖 Ryan Magee: 🤖
I love you
Buzzed
#If this doesn't work i'm GOING to kms#schlatt#jschlatt#schlatt x reader#jschlatt x reader#schlatt smut#jschlatt smut#dreamwastaken#dream#sapnap x reader#sapnap smut#sapnap#georgenotfound x reader#georgenotfound#georgenotfound smut#swaggersouls#swagger souls#swaggersouls x reader#ryan magee imagines#ryanmagee#ryan magee#ryan magee x reader#swaggersouls smut
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i hate that i have to fight my insurance to get my hysterectomy but my doctor and i are trying to get them to approve of it medically and we are trying the "cancer can spread to the uterus because there's possibility of the tumor having ovarian cancer" and "my gender identity would like this thing Gone" and i gotta think of some shit but like idk what to say other than "hi anthem blue cross fuck you and if i don't have this thing removed I Will KMS!!!" or "my body made me have this problem cause it hates my ovaries and uterus so damn much it will just make another problem that may kill me just to get it approved of to remove!" LOL
#shosh#like i literally it's just good to reduce cancer risk but also#Fuck i hate this#i'm just gonna say i'll kms it always works LMFAO#and i'll say it's cause anthem blue hated me <3#and then idk go to war in court with my family for killing me or something#gamble with my life i've always done it#then again my insurance doesn't care about me but i want them to die so
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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bras are hell. why are they so expensive, why are they so uncomfortable, why do none of them fit me right? i'm in hell.
#my honkers are too powerful#ordered 2 bras in my normal size and they're too small bc i'm apparently super “projected” and this style doesn't work for that#i'm going to kms
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absolutely OBSESSED with dumb phones out of nowhere ahaha*
*me when i lie
#mine#ok so i am obsessed with dumb phones bc i fell down a rabbit hole of those things#on yt. yt just kept recommendeding these vids to me and i was like huh. cool#i didn't click on them until this weekend whilst going thru my digitox app#and seeing my total screentime and GAGGING#i know i watch a lot of yt at work so i don't die of boredom but geez louiiiseeee#i am def reaching that point that a lot of gen z are now#where i am desperately trying to cut down my phone usage but i'm struggling bc i have no self control sometimes LOL#and i just mindlessly scroll on tumblr or dig thru yt vids to try and escape my thoughts#meanwhile i have books i need to get thru and fics i need to edit and write and and and#like ugh my life kinda sucks rn but it really doesn't have to! i need to stop staying glued to my phone!#there are so many places and so many things i can do and ppl i can meet and experiences i can have#but i'm stuck at home. tired. fried. attention span not like how it used to be#siiighhhh#also i am so mad that i spent the entire day researching this stuff yesterday#and come to find out... those adorable flip phones that go viral every other month#are only available in korea or japaaaannnn 😭😭😭😭😭#KMS#meanwhile over here we only got like. ugly ass CAT flip phones and ofc the samsung flip smartphone i'm on rn#SOBS LOUDLY#i want cute dumb phones. like the lg wine smart or the samsung folder 2 😢😭#kms#if nothing else comes around by the time i'm like 30 or smthn i guess... i guess i'll get that lightphone 3 that just came out :')
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#i'm fine btw lol#i talk a lot abt killing myself for someone who's probably not gonna do it#tried before and it famously didn't work . which is why y'all have to suffer and deal with me now 😻#but it's fine i won't do it#i will just dream abt doing it until i die fr one day#hopefully sooner rather than later#such is my life . life fucking sucks i hate being alive etc etc#nothing tethering me to lifeeeeee and that's fine i've come to understand that nothing remains meaningful to me apparently#i need to put my head in the oven or smth#damn dude i should just kms but it's like . 😮💨 you know . hard to think it might not work again etc etc#lol idk#school is starting again and i've never been more suicidal in my life i think like wow#i really do not want to do this ... but it's cool 🫂 who cares#i'll suck it up and get the fuck over myself and deal with#like either i do it or i get kicked out.. i don't really have much of a choice 😮💨🤲 so#anyway... i'm fine really... it doesn't matter anyway... even if i wasn't bc there's literally nothing to do abt it so why bother#i'm going to go and try to stomach some food bc i've been throwing up everything i've been eating bc of how stressed i am#and then i'll just . lie down on the floor and patiently wait for tmmr#i'm really tired 👍 like beyond the regular usage of the word tired.. m fucking exhausted...#blah blah blah wah wah wah my life sucks you guys are sick of this so i will shut up but i think i'm not gonna be super active on here#anymore bc of school so 🫡 just figured i would log out but im sad so who i be if i didn't make some depressing text post abt killing myself#before i did. that 👍 jrjrjdkdkdkd lol#dl#neg
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The guys at work bullied me into giving them the travel money for driving to the boss' house in recent weeks so then they had enough money for lunch and they bought me an iced mocha (((honestly watch us all get fired when I send my boss the petty cash tomorrow)))
#i mean if she says ANYTHING to me then I'll say they are bookkeepers paid to do bookkeeping ONLY#there's nothing in their contract that says they have to drive 7.5 km out of their way to deliver milk and bread to the boss#they're not delivery drivers#you either pay for delivery (which costs an arm and a leg) orrrr we take the travel out of petty cash#she's getting a better deal#like that's not taking into account them driving to the shops to buy the milk and bread#it probably costs like $13 (on a good day) to uber that distance#that's one way#and the traffic to go through Hawthorn#idk if she says anything (and she will I'm sure she'll yell at me) then i hope i remember all this defence#it's not fair to call employees at 5am to tell them to pick up milk and bread and drop it to you on the way in to the office#There has to be compensation#plus one bookkeeper works overtime for several hours and doesn't ask for more
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LOVE ON THE COURT | 20 ... WITH BENEFITS??
SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier
WARNINGS | swearing, sexual innuendos, kys/kms jokes, y/n has daddy issues for the sake of the plot
NOTES | I have no idea why this update took me so long to post I'm so sorry 😭 I don't like making chapters like this too sad (don't worry there's still gonna be some angsty chapters) but I don't want the written stuff on its own bcs that feels too espresso depresso or wtv the phrase is so this is a bit of a longer chap than usual.. anyways if ever you feel bad for y/n, don't worry you're gonna feel worse
19:21, dinner the night before
Y/n shuffles in her seat.
Jaemin greets her with a smile, and though she offers one back, that sinking feeling in her stomach doesn't seem to settle.
Suddenly now that she finds herself face to face with her once best friend, no menus in hand since they'd already given their orders, no way to avoid conversation for just a couple seconds longer, Y/n finds herself at a loss for words.
What was anyone supposed to say in this situation?
Sure a thank you would be ideal, considering Jaemin had somehow managed the impossible, but the words escaped her. Like they rested at the tip of her tongue but she lacked the drive to speak them.
It's not that y/n wasn't grateful, no, she wouldn't be here if she wasn't, in fact she didn't know what it was, what confused her so deeply that she sat there silently. Her thumbs twiddling against one another, as she stared down at the table in front of her.
There was a nagging whisper in her mind, one that cast shadows over her once clear thoughts, leaving her in that haze of uncertainty that she recognised all too well. Recently it was all she could feel around the captain.
Something about this situation in particular makes her palms sweaty and the hairs stand on her neck, every glance at Jaemin feeling like a shadow of what had once been, a reminder of how it had all been lost.
Even just sitting opposite Jaemin isn't simple.
Not at all.
It's like sitting across from a mirror that once reflected shared laughter and secrets, now distorted by fractures of lost trust and unspoken words. She supposed that was the thing about mirrors and shattering. No matter how hard you tried to glue the pieces back together, it would never quite be the same.
Perhaps that's why y/n is lousy in her attempts, grateful to Jaemin but unbothered to express it. The thought that no matter how desperately she hoped, this couldn't be restored. That there was no point in pouring energy into a friendship that would never be resolved.
"So" it's undoubtedly jaemin who breaks the silence, a soft tone to his voice, not quite as gentle as the other night but still warm "are you feeling better? like really okay?"
For a moment she wonders whether she'll break at the sound of his voice like she always had. Would she go back to that point in life where it was so easy to lie, so easy to say she was okay, so easy to pretend, in front of everyone else but never in front of him.
"I'm fine, honestly." She lies.
There's a shy sheepish smile that creeps across her lips and slightly accents her words
Jaemin hasn't seen much of her positivity be directed his way, and seeing this ignites the little hope in him that they could move on from this, from everything.
"You didn't have to work on it without me you know, it was just as much my project as it was yours and you putting in all the effort isn't fair on you."
"You did most of the preliminary stuff anyways, and I really didn't want to ask you because of the other night" Jaemin finally admits, though not willingly, his words extracted more so by her sharp stare and the cold atmosphere.
"Right..." Her attempts at changing the subject, clearly in vain— he really needed to stop asking about the other night. Y/n wasn't sure how much h longer she could hold back the tears, the looming feeling of inadequacy as a guardian still strong. She should have been more careful.
She knows its her turn to speak, opening her mouth to do so.
But again, y/n struggles.
The words play hide and seek in her mind, leaving her to grasp at empty. The atmosphere grows heavy with the weight of unspoken words. Her mind races, a jumble of what to say, thoughts of how easy conversation once was, how effortless it had been, all such a stark contrast to now.
Jaemin watches, a mix of intrigue and concern in his eyes as she contemplates in front of him, quiet but with an expression that spoke volumes.
The silence between them seems to bite louder than any conversation they once held, each dish in front, a reminder of the bitter aftertaste of a friendship turned cold.
"It's just Minjun and I" she breathes out, voice shaky, and Jaemin realises that those nervous cues in her slumped posture and shaking hands had never changed "It's just been the two of us for a while" she whispered. "That's why I was so scared"
Jaemin's hand hovers uncertainly beneath the table, unsure if the gesture would be welcomed or misunderstood, caught in the delicate balance of care and concern.
Admittedly, Jaemin catches himself slightly intrigued, still confused what could have lead to her practically perfectly family turning into this.
But he knows better than to let his curiosity get the best of him.
He wants to stop her, tell her that whatever it is that causes her brows to knit together and her pretty eyes to gloss over isn't something she needs to force herself to talk about, but he doesn't know how.
For a moment he's kicking himself under the table— how had he ever let go of the person who meant so much to him?
Even now, knowing everything she had done, he couldnt help but question why hadn't he tried to get past it then?
At the sight of her downcast features suddenly everything that he once despised her for seemed so trivial.
Jaemin sees himself, a younger, less mature version that stands on the court, hair matted to his forehead from the rain, a ball long forgotten somewhere behind him, cold, betrayed, and so painfully alone. Those burning tear stained cheeks, the harsh whistles of wind, the bitter feeling of failure still clinging to his skin, he remembers it all.
But every feeling he recalls so well, so vividly, is so easily dismissed when her eyes shine with a painful tint, red from the piercing tears that she holds in them.
"My dad" she cuts him off, gaze now avoidant as he grabbed her cold hands in his, "he walked out on us not long after ...whatever hapenned between you and me. He never came back, didn't answer a single call, not even a text, no form of communication except the papers he sent in the mail so I could become Junnie's legal guardian."
I missed you, she wanted to say. I needed you she'd liked to add.
"That's why it's just the two of us now" she said instead, trying to find more words to stop the tears from flowing, like her words were the only thing that could hold them back.
Back then, Y/n remembers vividly the feeling of wanting to fall, to sink, to drown but still somehow keeping her head above the surface to hold on and stay strong for her younger brother. She wondered if Jaemin had been there, would it have been easier? Would she have let herself fall, would she have someone to give her a hand, to pick her back up again and hold her hand through it all? Would things have ended differently?
"I'm sorry" his words weren't new, they weren't special, they were the same as what everybody else would say but the fact that they came from him, Na Jaemin who now stood by her side with his arms wrapped around her, was enough to dissolve the feeling of emptiness.
08:25 present time
Y/n looks over at Minjun, still deep in slumber, smiling before she steps out of the room.
There's way too many toys sprawled out across the living room floor, a blanket she finds herself folding as she subconsciously begins to clean up. Her eyes land on the kitchen counter, wondering what to make for breakfast. She was never particularly good at cooking, but she'd been learning for her brothers sake.
When she gets to the black jacket resting over the couch, it hits her. She catches sight of her puffy eyes in the mirror, and a hand runs through her hair hurriedly.
"Why the fuck did I tell him all of that" she let's out a frustrated sigh, running her hands across her face, "I'm supposed to hate him" she reminds herself, though her tone isn't convincing in the slightest.
"You don't hate him though" Heeseung's voice comes out muffled, the toothbrush between his lips making it difficult to understand his words.
He had been the one to stay over last night, her friends still taking turns to accompany Minjun and her every night since he'd walked out of the apartment, a gesture that made her heart swell. Although up until now she was pretty certain he was still asleep. Clearly not.
"I can't hate him" she sighs, falling back into the couch "is it bad I want to be friends with him again?" she asks, even though Heeseung had retreated to the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth.
Regardless he pokes his head out into the hallway, a sly smirk across his lips "with benefits?"
Y/n rolls her eyes.
He emerges again not long after, smiling from ear to ear "no y/n it's not bad if you want to be friends again" he takes a seat beside her "you can only fight your feelings for so long, let yourself be vulnerable, take the risk and try again" he says, hands resting on both his knees.
"and if you're feeling really risky, you can always—"
"shut up Heeseung" she smiles, lightly pushing against his arm "I guess it is worth a shot though"
"he's right next door anyways so sneaking around won't be hard at all"
"I meant being friends. Just friends." she stands up, walking over to the kitchen "you down for pancakes?"
He nods.
"You know it could be good though, he's hot, you're hot, there's enough tension to make things interesting and it ticks your not ready for a relationship box pretty well too"
Despite the pointed look the captain offers him, Heeseung doesn't let up, and secretly, she wouldn't have it any other way.
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#jaemin#nct x female reader#nct smau#nct dream smau#nct dream social media au#nct dream social au#nct jaemin smau#jaemin smau#jaemin social media au#jaemin fluff#love on the court 🏀
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𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐄 ('𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐄)
*ೃ𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Il Dottore x Fem. Reader
*ೃ𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 4.2k
*ೃ𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: Sleep deprived, overworked, a report requested by your Lord Harbinger. Just place it on his desk and leave–or take a nap on his luxurious leather couch before you do. What could go wrong? Well, a lot, apparently.
*ೃ𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: DARK CONTENT!!! Dead dove: do not eat. Somnophilia, non-con like straight up r*pe, subordinate x superior, scary delusional rationalizer-dottore, p in v, fingering (f. receiving), creampie, dottore thinks he's actually a nice guy, dottore is in fact just a creepy guy, dottore acts like a silly (like a psychopath), 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!! others, please proceed at your own risk!
*ೃ 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: Hi lovelies! I meant to post this yesterday but had some things to take care of so didn't get around to it. This is a request part of @ficsforgaza 's kinktober event. DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE WARNINGS!! If my shit gets flagged one more time I'm going to kms. anyway, I hope you all enjoy dottore being a literal psychopath. byee :3
KEIRA'S FUNDRAISING EVENT 🍉
You walk through the east wing of the Sumeruan Fatui Research Facility, your eyes heavy and your senses numb from lack of sleep. The only sound that rings through your ears is the faint clicking of your shoes against the rubber flooring.
The strong scent of antiseptic has always fared excellently in keeping you awake, and you thank the archons for its potent presence in this sterilized hallway as your eyes scan over the various signs plastered on the walls. Il Dottore, Il Dottore, Il Dottore. What turn should you take? What sign bears the arrow to his private laboratory? Frankly, if it were up to you, you would've shoved the responsibility of delivering this report to Lord Dottore onto Mikhael, but he feared the harbinger even more than you did, so here you were, left to take one for the team while sleep deprived, cranky, nervous, and somewhat afraid all at once.
It was a bit of a long walk–marked by frustrated sighs and irritated mutters of disapproval at your own dull sense of direction–to Dottore's personal lab, and you weren't even sure he would be there. He's always been the most eccentric of the harbingers, which is then, relatively, extremely eccentric, and his work hours never conformed to normal people's. You round a corner and turn one last left, before a large fortified iron door faces you ever so imposingly, a towering frame that stands a solid ten feet above you, and you sigh in relief. "Il Dottore" painted in bright white slashes across the door, and you hesitantly stretch your hand out–to knock... or maybe to open the imposing slab of metal. A second passes, and as it turns out, you don't have to choose, because the door slides open automatically, a faint mechanical whirr resounding throughout the premises.
You stride in quickly. A sickeningly sweet scent permeates the air around you, the fragrance wafting off the incense sticks burning at the harbinger's desk. You fleetingly wonder how on earth he could stand the oppressively strong smell, but that doesn't matter right now. Dottore isn't here, you have the report in your hand, tucked neatly into a blue folder (Dottore insisted all papers delivered to him must be so in blue folders only. Not green, not yellow. Blue). All you had to do was set it on your Lord Harbinger's desk and get the hell out of here before he returned. Otherwise, you'll be stuck with intense heart palpitations as he questions you about one thing or the other, or goes on a philosophical rant that you didn't ask to hear while laughing manically as his terrifyingly sharp fangs glint under the white light. Yup, no way. So, you set the folder onto the pristine oak desk, eyes still heavy and head pounding from your lack of sleep.
A soft breath of relief furls past your lips as soon as the folder hits the desk, and then, you try to turn on your heel and get out of here. Keyword: try, because just as you resign yourself to leaving, your gaze strays to the long, plush, brown leather sofa seated at the corner of the office-meets-laboratory. Fuck, that looks comfortable–no, what in the world were you thinking?! Get out, you mentally scream at yourself.
Yet, the more logical part of your brain has shut down, and a tired sigh leaves you as you stumble over to the couch. Just a second. You're so, so sleepy. Just a second and then you'll leave, you think, and plop onto the cushions. Your mind is blank, and your limbs feel like they're weighed down by lead. You blink slowly, your body sinks into the soft leather. This sofa must have cost your entire annual salary, what with how comfortable it is. A faint moan bubbles up your throat at the feeling of being engulfed in softness like this, and your eyelids droop. Before you can register, you're slipping away, into the inescapable depths of sleep.
Out like a light.
It could've been 10 minutes, it could've been an hour, or it could've been all day, but at some point, your name is called, and you're too deep into the recesses of unconsciousness to process it as a word. All it manifests as is a distant voice spinning around your head.
Dottore had trudged into his lab after a rather exhausting day of fieldwork, of examining poisonous flower samples on the outskirts of Avidya Forest with the diligence of the... scientist he was. The deep velvet of his voice uttered your name, and when he received no response, he hummed to himself. He continues to stand over you now, gazing down with the eyes of a predator and the smile of a fox
"Didn't see you there," he mutters to himself more than anything, because, from the looks of it, you're in slumber. His eyes observe the scene before him. The way your chest rises and falls rhythmically, the way your rosy lips are parted just a bit, and the way the moonlight filtering in through the windows catches on the curve of your cheekbones. The inviting sight before him has him licking his lips and adjusting the collar of his coat.
"How lovely..."
The inviting sight, because yes, that's what it was, you were inviting him to indulge, weren't you? Otherwise, you wouldn't be here, asleep on his couch, in his space, blouse unbuttoned once or twice at the top. You know what you're doing, aren't you? He's not the bad guy for just... taking the hint, if you will. His hands twitch at his sides, and his smile widens. You're sleeping, and if you saw the terrifyingly sinister grin on his face right now, you would've thanked the archons for sparing you its sight by letting it stretch upon his lips now that you are asleep, unable to see it.
As though he were debating whether to go about whatever evil he was about to, he crosses his arms over his chest, gaze locked on your form and brow furrowed in thought. He wasn't thinking about the depravity of his potential actions and the psychological harm they may cause you later on. No, no. He didn't have a conscience loud enough for that kind of thought to grace his mind. He was simply thinking about the logical implications. It was... unprofessional–to say the least–to grope your subordinates in their sleep, and should word get out about it, the Second Harbinger will never hear the end of it–especially not from Pantalone. It could jeopardize his relationship with all the investors who fund his research. It could also get him in a pickle with Arlecchino, and he wasn't in the mood to deal with that crazy woman for at least the next century.
But it was dark outside. You were asleep, and he had the whole night to himself. It wasn't his fault, and if you were to awaken, well, it's not like you were going to tell. Oh, he'll make sure of that.
His decision is made, and without a single thread of doubt left in his mind, he crouches by your side, eyes locked on your slumbering face. The smile that stretches along his lips is one reserved for moments like these, for moments when he silently observes the unconscious features of those that fall into his predacious hands. There was always something about unconsciousness that stirred something in him. He was fascinated by the human brain, but he was also fascinated by the unadulterated powerlessness of an unconscious human. It gave him a power trip of sorts, knowing he was the lion and the slumbering were the deer. He chuckles to himself as his eyes fall upon the trail of drool at the corner of your lips, a sound so quiet and smooth that it could have melted butter.
"Don't worry, agent. I'll be... gentle," his words are spoken softly, yet they hold the same venom that his actions always do. They're meant for the both of you. "I won't hurt you."
He won't, will he?
Well, that was for him to know and for you to find out–should you awaken. His gloved hand, gentle but firm, snakes under your head and props it up, and his other hand is busy pushing the buttons of your blouse apart, one by one, until your raven-black bra meets his gaze. He breathes out in a soft exhale, a sound too tranquil for a man of his reputation, and his hand gently tips your face toward him. He meets your face halfway, scanning his sharp eyes over your sleeping features for a moment, his breath warm against your skin, though you can't feel it in your drowse. Slowly, almost like he was deliberately holding himself off, he lets his lips brush against yours, and then he tests the waters some more, giving them a light kiss. You subconsciously shift at the contact, but you're still asleep, and that's enough reassurance for him to go further, letting his teeth graze your lower lip.
You taste like candy; sweet, soft, and addicting. You're an aphrodisiac, aren't you? He wonders, and his tongue prods at the seam of your lips, begging entrance, but it doesn't take. A soft, almost inaudible growl emanates from him, and the distant feel of his tongue has your breathing stuttering, a whimper bubbling up from your throat, but you don't wake, and that has his pants feeling a lot tighter than they were a few seconds ago.
"tsk," he grumbles against your lips. He's not sure if he wanted you asleep or awake right now. There was a thrill he felt in his veins when he teetered on the edge of danger like this, but there also seemed to be a thrill at the thought of having you awake for this, eyes wide in fear and lust all at once, soft implorations of "please let me go, Lord Dottore" falling from your lips like a mantra.
In the end, though, he'll have his way, and it doesn't matter what your state is. His tongue slips past your parted lips and invades the heat of your mouth, his sharpened canines grazing your tongue. His saliva, mixed with the residue of alcohol he had before heading back, drips down your chin and stains your blouse. If you were awake, you would've found the whole ordeal sloppy and wet, but since you weren't, all it felt like was warmth, and a foreign feeling, as his tongue prodded and probed your mouth. Your brows knit together, and a soft, unconscious moan escapes your lips, one that he greedily swallows. You're not so sure what's going on, still in a drowse that makes you think you're having some sort of insanely realistic wet dream. You hadn't slept in almost two days after all. Archons knew you weren't about to let anything wake you from your much-needed rest.
Dottore retreats from your lips and pauses for a moment, eyes raking over your form as though his mind was scanning over all the choices of what to do to you next.
"Ah," he says, like he was hit with a revolutionary idea. It wasn't so revolutionary, because the next thing that happens is the harbinger's hands finding their way to your chest, the cool leather of his gloves brushing against the bare patch of skin he revealed to himself when unbuttoning your blouse down three or four buttons. You shift again, and the movement has his fingers accidentally grazing over your bra-clad nipples. The sudden touch causes your body to arch and a low groan to rumble in the back of your throat. You were sensitive, he notes, and a grin tugs at the corner of his lips.
But you see, Dottore was getting bored of his self-inflicted abstinence. He did tell himself he had all night earlier, but come to think of it, he actually doesn't. He wants it fast and rough, and he wants it now. So, he lets his hand trail down for a moment, shamelessly shoving it into your pants and letting his fingers play with your pussy over your panties.
"H-hnngh!" You gasp in your sleep, and if you were awake, you'd be able to almost feel the smirk he wears as he continues, a finger pressing insistently at your clit, even if the fabric of your underwear is in the way.
"Oh? Do you like this then, agent?" he asks, and the words are an almost inaudible whisper. The question is rhetorical, after all. He doesn't give a flying fuck if you do like it, and he was talking himself through it more than he was you.
Your head lolls to the side and a shaky breath leaves you. Your panties are subconsciously growing wet, an automatic bodily reaction to being touched here, and his finger doesn't relent. It's a good thing, however, that the friction of the thin fabric has you writhing, and the stimulation has him impatient, his fingers hastily moving to roughly pull your pants down, then to grip the fabric of your blouse, ripping it apart, buttons popping off the garment and onto the ground with soft clicks. The supple flesh of your torso is now exposed and open, and so are your eyes. It takes you a second to register what's going on.
You're... lying on the sofa.
What time was it?
What are you doing here, exactly?
"W-what..." the words barely leave you, and suddenly, sleep has left you completely, the feeling of a heavy weight against your body taking its place, and the realization that a man is on top of you.
Your eyes snap open wider, and the first thing you see is Dottore's grinning, almost psychotic-looking eyes boring through you.
"My Lord?!" you cry, and everything comes rushing back. You went to drop a report to the Lord Harbinger. You fell asleep on the couch in his laboratory.
"What are you doing?!" you demand as assertively as you can in a situation like this, but your voice shakes in fear despite your efforts.
"I could ask you the same question, agent," he hums, and his gloved fingers move to trail over the expanse of your breasts, fondling and groping with not a sliver of shame. "You were asleep when I came in, and so, I assumed, naturally, that you wanted me to do this. Why else would you have been so conveniently sprawled out on my couch, in the privacy of my lab, half-naked and vulnerable?"
"I-I didn't–I wasn't half naked," you try to defend yourself–with such a witless refutation too–but how could you possibly defend yourself? The harbinger was right. You were asleep on the couch in his private lab. Utterly disrespectful. And he caught you. Maybe this was karma–or just your luck.
"Hush, now," he purrs, and his fingers slither behind your back to the band of your bra. You don't have time to react as the garment is pulled off you in one swift motion, tossed away and onto the floor, and then his hands are back on your tits, kneading the supple flesh, pinching your hardened nipples.
"My Lord–stop it, please," you plead, and you can't help the gasp that escapes you, the action shooting straight between your thighs, which clamp together as best as they can with Dottore straddling your waist with all his weight.
He was a scary man, Il Dottore, and even if he wasn't physically hurting you–for now–the sheer intensity of his gaze was enough to scare the shit out of you. You were utterly, hopelessly, and vulnerably at his mercy, and the worst part is, you have a feeling that not a single person in this whole 8-story facility would stand up for you. Not a single Fatui subordinate would dare.
"Stop? Oh, darling! But we haven't even started," he laughs, like what you just suggested was utterly ridiculous, and a shudder runs down your body.
"You know," he hums, leaning closer and lowering his head to ghost his lips over the shell of your ear, the smell of alcohol strong on his breath. "You can scream–if you'd like. No one would hear."
You have no time to retort, because Dottore's head dips to the valley of your breasts immediately, then his lips ghost over one of your nipples, swiftly taking the nub in his mouth. A sharp inhale rushes into your lungs, and a whimper threatens to spill from your throat. You're not quite sure if the feeling coursing through you is fear or lust or both, because it makes your stomach churn how good this actually feels. Your eyes are squeezed shut, and Dottore’s teeth graze the sensitive skin around your nipple, sending a jolt of electricity between your legs, then his tongue flicks over the hardening peak.
"Mmh," the moan bubbles up from the very back of your throat.
"Oh? So... still want me to stop now, agent?" he muses, mockingly, and his free hand is back at your pussy, rubbing slow, teasing circles over the soaked fabric. Your hips buck up, so he takes that as a sign to push the garment aside, a finger sliding between your wet lips.
"No, my Lord," you gasp, and you can't believe the words that come out of your own mouth. Dottore's hand doesn't stop, and his thumb presses down on your clit, and a breathy, whiny moan escapes you.
"See? This isn't so bad, now, is it?" he doesn't give you any warning before his fingers dip into your wet pussy, the intrusion causing you to jerk. Your inner walls flutter around his fingers. His sharp canines dig into his lower lip.
"Aren't you a good little whore. So pretty and obedient for your Lord Harbinger," Dottore purrs, and his thumb begins to move against your clit, while his fingers curl and press insistently at your walls. Your legs tremble, a string of moans falls from your lips, and if anyone told you just an hour ago that the Second Lord Harbinger Il Dottore was going to finger you in his lab, you would've laughed and asked who the fuck would say something like that.
Alas, Dottore wasn't a patient man, so it's no surprise that he doesn't finger you long enough before his hands pull away from you entirely, and he "tsks" impatiently to himself. He has to have you now. He's been so, so nice. Hasn't he? Kind enough to prep you for him instead of plunging himself into you from the get-go. If anything, he thinks he deserves a pat on the back for his thoughtfulness.
Swiftly, his hands reach under your thighs, and with an alarming amount of ease, he yanks you down and away from the cushion that sprawled beneath your head. Then, he's settling between your legs. A soft whimper is torn from your throat when the cold, metal buckle of his belt grazes the inside of your thigh. You watch, helpless, as his hands make quick work of his pants, unzipping the black uniform, and pushing them down just far enough to pull his cock out. You can't help but gulp at the sight, and the wideness of your eyes makes Dottore laugh out an almost sadistic-sounding string of giggles.
"Don't worry, sweetheart," he hums, the term of endearment spoken so condescendingly. "You'll take it well. Won't you?"
His words aren't a question. They're a statement. An absolute, undeniable fact. An order. You'll take it well, whether you want to or not, and the knowledge has you almost making a run for the door, but the thought leaves you as fast as it came.
Dottore doesn't wait for a response that won’t come, or a plea for him not to do this, not to force his cock into your tight heat, and you're not quite sure why, but you don't find yourself objecting, or trying to kick him away. Maybe you were curious. Maybe this was a materialization of one of your own depraved fantasies. Or maybe you were just scared he'd kill you if you resisted.if you made a run for the door like you fleetingly thought just now.
His fingers curl around the base of his thick cock, fist then sliding up and down in a few experimental pumps. The tip presses at your entrance almost desperately, and he's pushing the head into your tightness before you can process. He's a big man. The stretch burns. It has a hiss tearing from the back of your throat, and a pained grimace twisting your features.
"Shh," Dottore murmurs, his other hand reaching up to caress the side of your face almost soothingly, the action a stark contrast to the harshness of his current actions.
"Good, good," he whispers, his voice is sickeningly smooth, as though he were genuinely consoling you.
Then, just like that, his hips snap forward, not giving you time to adjust as the entirety of his cock is engulfed in the warmth of your pussy. You're clamping down around him, and it has him groaning lowly in his throat, his eyes squeezing shut, the grip of his hands that are now on your hips tightening.
"Agent," he sighs, and his fingers dig into the soft flesh of your sides. It'll leave a mark there. A reminder.
You're not quite sure where the burning pain had gone. All that remains is an aching desire, a desperate need, and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh. Your hands move, without a conscious command from your brain, and they rest on Dottore's shoulders, holding on tightly. The harbinger smiles down at you with sickening sweetness, no, not sweetness, mockery. Or maybe sweetness. God, you were a mess. Your mind was nothing but a blob of mush at this moment, and Dottore's hands shift to the underside of your knees, pushing your legs up and thrusting his cock even deeper at this new, utterly indecent angle.
"My Lord!" the moan is punched out of you. His lips meet yours again, his sharp canines scraping over the sensitive flesh. Your hands slide to tangle into his hair, pulling and tugging at the soft blue strands. An almost whiny groan escapes the harbinger's throat at the action. His movements become more desperate. Fast and rough. So fast and rough you're scared you'll be split in two. The plush sofa under the two of you shakes and creaks.
"So, so good," he whines, face contorted in pleasure, but as though he caught himself in his haze before it spiraled, his lips pull back into a domineering sneer. "Take it," he demands, and the words, combined with the obscene feeling of being filled to the brim, are enough to have your vision going white. You claw at Dottore's shoulders with desperate fervor.
"L-Lord Harbinger. I think I'm going to–"
"Do it," he commands with the struggle of a man on the brink of ecstasy, and he folds you even more. If you weren't agile–thanks to your agent training–you're sure you would've actually split into two by now. Back arching off the sofa, a string of incoherent, unintelligible moans escapes your throat. Your pussy clamps down around the thick cock stretching it, and a wave of pleasure courses through you, rendering your muscles numb.
The sight and feeling of you unraveling have Dottore following closely after, his movements becoming erratic and uncoordinated. It's a sight like never seen before; the normally ever so composed man crumbling like this, and then, he's spilling his hot cum into you, a guttural groan reverberating throughout his chest. He fills you to the brim until the warm white liquid leaks out of your aching pussy and stains the leather under you.
A second passes, then two, then three, then a few seconds more. Dottore lets the head of his cock press against your insides one last time before pulling out. He sits back on his knees and regards you for a moment with an almost frightening calmness, and you open your mouth to try and say something, because why was he looking at you like you were nothing but the scum of the ground he walks on after literally cumming inside of you as some lover would?
"The couch will need some cleaning. I trust you can get that sorted tomorrow, agent?" He says finally with a cock of his head, voice level and calm as he climbs off of you and stands on his feet, tucking himself back into his pants as he nonchalantly hums a tune to himself, like this was just another day of fucking his subordinates in their sleep. And maybe it was; you didn’t know, but right now, you're still paralyzed in your spot, just staring at him, and so he turns to glance at you. "Get dressed. You're dismissed for today."
You can only gape, speechless, watching as Dottore turns his back to you once more and disappears into the microscopy workroom in his lab, a certain energized spring to his step.
What the fuck just happened?
The workroom's door closes behind him with a soft click, and he smiles to himself.
Ah, the thrill.
Now, it was time to get back to his research.
#fics for gaza#open requests#il dottore#genshin x reader#genshin impact#dottore x reader#dottore#genshin fanfic#dottore x you#dottore smut#genshin impact smut
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Late WIP Wednesday ..
(aaa km not sure if i should finish this, it started off strong but just fell off and now my brain isnt working)
Simon’s home & marriage was his refuge, until it wasn't. He knew something wasn't right when you were coincidentally prepared for his return, all dolled up when you greeted him with an “I miss you” kiss. No, he was sure it wasn't you when he saw that the dinner table was prepared with a generous spread of food on it.
There was no reason for you to come this prepared, everytime he comes home from deployment is a surprise. So..how exactly are you this ready? It didn't sit right with him, the whole thing felt like it came out of a painfully obvious scripted reality TV show.
But food was food and after countless weeks spent eating barely edible MRE’s, a home cooked meal was all he needed. Sluggishly, he sat down at his unsaid designated spot at the dinner table. He closely watched if you would sit down at your designated spot, if you didn't; that’d explained a lot. You do end up sitting at your spot, it wasn't all that hard to do though. Dinner with you was unsettling to say the least, all of the small talk you were making felt forced, it’s barely been an hour and he already feels like he's going crazy.
He knows more than to question you upfront though, having gone through enough interrogations to know that he should take his time and that you could get hostile if things don't go your way. You could be a threat for all he knew, and it's better to be safe than sorry. Unsure if it was the right decision, he starts out some sort of small talk himself, asking you some seemingly innocent questions.
“What were yer up to while I was gone, luv?” He asks mid chew. “Oh not much, I just picked up a new hobby actually. Clay sculpting! I've been watching online tutorials, I could say I’ve been getting the hang of it if I do say so myself.” Liar, was all he could think while he subconsciously nodded to your words. You hated clay, not fond of the texture it had and the way it’d get stuck under your nails. Perhaps it was another one of your impulsive decisions, jumping into conclusions should be the last thing he should be doing. It could cost him more harm than good, so he lets it slide. For now at least.
“Sculpting eh? That's new, have ye finished any?” He pauses, swallowing his food. “I’d love to see them.” A spark lights up in your eyes, but it didn't look right. There's a lit candle in there but it's far, far away. The lack of life in your eyes makes his stomach spin like there's a guinea pig rolling around in their wheel in there, it made him want to puke. He wasn't the biggest fan of prolonged eye contact anyway, so he’ll just avoid looking you in the eye to prevent making a mess. “Oh yeah I actually do! They're already displayed on top of our shelves, I’ll show them to you after.” You exclaim, if that was you anyway, which it wasn't.
Dinner passed at an uncomfortably slow pace, Simon swore he could hear each individual tick and tock of the clock, the scraping of utensils against the porcelain plates and each chew you took. He’s gone through debatably louder things than this, the booms of the explosions were unforgettable after all but this somehow takes the cake. Wanting to distract himself further, he helps with washing the dishes which you normally did but you specifically chose today to help do the other minor chores. Water, that was your weak point. He noticed it, you didn't drink water after dinner either. What kind of monster doesn't drink water to hydrate after eating roasted pork?
To test out this thought of his, he decided to ask another question. “I'm heading to the shower, luv. Care to join me?” Meekly, he suggests to you, deep brown eyes staring intently as he awaited the already expected answer. “Oh I..actually already showered earlier dear. Maybe next time.” A dishearteningly dismissive reply, just like he expected. “Alright, suit yourself luv. I'll be back.”
He thought about it, almost forgetting about the bubbly soap running down his body from how deep in thought he was. There was no doubt about it anymore, everything about you being you, pointed away. At this point, he didn't care what the fake you was anymore, rather where you actually were. You could've been dead for all he knew, replaced by the soulless woman that now roams around his home.
This was beyond cruel, beyond the pain physical torture could've caused. It was like the universe was a cat and he was a yarn ball, being played by it meticulously. The whole thing was definitely planned out by a certain someone he knew, the both of you are fairly private so it couldn't have been a random person. He couldn't handle this alone, as much as he’d hate to admit, the situation was way bigger than him to do alone. So, he decides to call a trusted someone.
“You tellin’ me ye think your wife got abducted or something..and a doppelgänger replaced her?” A gruff voice questions, lightly tapping his cigar against the side of the ashtray. Price, him and Kate are the only members of the Task Force so far that Simon allowed you to meet. Well, it unfortunately looks like the sergeants won't get to meet you under these circumstances just yet. Strangely enough, the clocks inside the pub weren't working. Must be a malfunction. The masked man nodded, sighing through his nose when he got a whiff of the alcohol-filled air in the bar.
“I feel so.” He grumbled. “Couldn't she be just having an off day? We all have those, Simon.” John opposes it, it was an unquestionable possibility they couldn't simply ignore. “No, I know my wife. In my years of being with her, she's never acted this way.” Ghost hissed back, a hint of crystal clear impatience seeping out from his words. The lack of respect in his tone wasn't intended, but what could he do when his wife is apparently kidnapped and replaced so seamlessly? “I guess you have a point, but you need to confirm it Simon. You shouldn't make any decision on impulse, if the woman in your home really isn't your wife then this is a bigger issue.”
Then the plan was set, still a little all over the place but there really wasn't any time to lose. Simon would further observe the woman who's allegedly ‘you’ to make sure he isn't making things up, then if he was incredibly sure it wasn't you, he’ll head to the police and file a report for a missing person. In all honesty, it wasn't hard to do, having gone through missions more intense than this. Yet the fact that you were involved made the bugs inside of him crawl, this was totally his fault.
He didn't hide you away from the world enough, he should've just kept you locked inside a cage like the little birdie you were to avoid any danger coming your way. Simon wasn't stupid though, that was inhumane, you were one of the only few people who has managed to make Simon feel less of a ghost and more of a human. So doing such a thing to you was unethical and out of the books, but how could you blame him for subconsciously letting his possessiveness and worry take over when you're literally so far from his grasp? Being so near before that he could easily grip at the back of your top, now so far that the trace of your scent is long gone.
It makes Simon feel sick, his core being left to rot. He comes from the pub to what felt like an empty house, not home because nothing would feel like home without you there. He’d rather be living in a pile of rocks and plywood with you than in a giant mansion without you, that would be the real hell. “Bloody hell..where are you?” He murmurs under his breath, stressedly rubbing his creased forehead. If he could, he’d pry at every surface that comes up within his sight just to find you.
“I’m back.” He whispers, unsure if the fake you was asleep or not. Anyone, human or not wouldn't be happy being woken up from their slumber. “Welcome home, hun. You alright?” Looking up from your cup of tea, you ask. “Yeah, just spoke with the Captain. That's all, no alcohol.” Simon was so used to you being a worrywart about his alcohol intake, telling you that he didn't have any alcohol is practically ingrained into the wrinkles of his brain. But the woman in front of him didn't seem to care less about his health, let alone him in general. The lack of nagging that usually filled his ears to the brim didn't feel right, he would've much rather gone through another one of your yap sessions about how constant alcohol intake affects him in the long run than..just silence.
He feels the desperation inching up on him, eating him whole. At this point, he's willing to admit he doesn't want you. He needs you. He needs to hear your fretful complaints about him getting deployed, knowing you’d shut up because you were used to it by now. He needs you to tell him to include more vegetables in his diet because he's not some kind of carnivore to be eating that much meat. God, he just needs you with him. Whatever bloody thing came with you he’d take like it was on a stupid Black Friday sale.
“Not yet..” He’d think every single night, eyes wide open as he prevents himself from making a rash decision. The woman sleeping soundly right next to him, if that was you..But it wasn't, even if he stared at the unfamiliar woman for ten hours straight, she wouldn't just magically turn into you. Well sure, she was a carbon copy of you from head to toe but she simply just didn't scream ‘you’. Whatever and whoever you were anyway.
“When all is said and done, I think it'll end well Simon. My gut feeling tells me so, it's rarely ever wrong so I’m pretty sure we should trust it.” You ramble on and on, the little amount of alcohol taking over your lightweight self. Simon was still courting you here, yet he remembers it like it's been replayed in his mind like a broken record. He trusted your gut, and he could consider that as one of the best choices he's ever made in life.
But..trusting you now? While you're probably out, all shivering & teeth clattering from the immense cold night? Impossible, he’s fully aware that you're a capable strong woman however..how far can his trust go? How far do you have to venture into someone’s soul to gain their fragile trust, something that can be easily broken with your own bare hands? Ghost doesn't trust you, but Simon does.
“You're a strong gal, you can hold on for much longer.” He supposes, deep in thought while he flipped around in bed. The fake you hasn't set off any red flags yet, acting normal. Too normal. He knew ‘you’ had a purpose for being here, one with malicious intent, though what exactly? One wouldn't simply come in here and replace his wife with a fake one just out of spite, unless they were a little cuckoo. Tossing aside to check the time, he presses the ‘on’ button on his phone. Weird, the time didn't show up. Maybe it's just a glitch in the system.
“Simon, Hey? Simon, wake up. Hurry, you need to get up.” A voice shakes, lightly nudging him in order to awake him. It's your voice, he can instantly sense its meekness. With one eye and another, they flutter open, still full of sleep in them. “Oh thank goodness, you're awake! But you seriously need to wake up, like right now.” You crooned, hoping he’d fully wake up to the sound of your voice. Groaning, Simon sat up, a few joints popping in the process. “What..? Yeah, I’m awake luv. Whad’ya need me for?” He questions groggily, eyes opening further once he gets a closer look at you. It's actually you, he can tell! The way your eyes meet his, connecting like a bee landing on a precious flower. The way your voice lilted to him like a mother bird nursing her hatchlings, it really was you.
“Wait–luv? You're here? Bloody hell, you actually are–Did you see the other gal who looked just like you? Tell me I’m not losing my shit please.” Then you shushed him, convinced he’ll continuously go on and on if you didn't. “Please listen to me closely, Simon.” You pause, noticing how his eyes bask in yours like it was long overdue. “You need to wake up, hurry.”
#cod x reader#cod fanfic#cod fanfiction#call of duty#ghost cod#cod#cod wip#writing wip#fic wip#my wips#wip#wip wednesday#well Thursday..#simon ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#ghost riley#ghost call of duty#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost#simon riley imagine#simon riley x reader#simon riley cod#simon riley#simon riley x you#task force 141#tf 141#tf141 x you#current wip
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2 ppl liked this (grazieeeeee <3) i'm taking it as a yes so. basically how do i start saying no when i've been saying yes all the time????
ok but like if i genuinely ask you guys for advice will anyone listen to me orrrrr
#more specifically:#i'm like. good at my job so my coworkers ask me for help/advice a lot. more and more actually. and it's gotten a little MUCH#like i don't mind it it makes me happy to know they trust me and i like helping!#but. i do also have to do my tasks. and being interrupted 20 times in 3h doesn't make it easy#and i think i got to the point where i need to set some boundaries sort of? and my coordinator agreed#she told me to start saying no and try not to feel guilty about it bc it IS hard to do your job when you also have to think about everyone#else's too#and yeah. yeah 😭😭 but like IN PRACTICE......how do i do that#i thought i was starting to be able to say no at least sometimes bc i did do it a couple of times but.. those were literally bc i was PAST#the end of my shift and i had to go so. i HAD to force myself to say i couldn't help them in that moment#but then like today it was bad again.............got interrupted like 10 times in 2h and i did less than what i could've 😭😭😭😭#i ALMOST said sorry i can't help right now at one point but then i just. could not#i just really need help on how to ACTUALLY do it. does anyone have any advice. no matter how much i repeat to myself i can't do everything#and i can't help everyone and i CAN'T alwaysssss say yes.......... i just. don't know how to make the words sorry. i can't right now. leave#my mouth. they always get stuck in my throat and i just say YES I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. dumbass. you have all those documents to check#ugh idk. like the thing is that i KNOW most of the issues they have CAN easily be solved thru checking the process guidelines i have writte#for most of our processes#and they'd literally just need to check there. and all i should do is say check the faq. check the guidelines. it's written there.#but godddddd................ i feel bad just going check the faq it's there instead of responding myself and explaining it all#especially bc i have always done it this way and it feels like i'd make my coworkers feel bad if i sort of. stopped being as helpful as i#have been or tried to 😭😭😭😭#does this make sense?#i'm tired and in fact i'm going to bed and if anyone responds i'll respond back tomorrow but#like you know. you can tell me to tell myself i'm not being mean or unhelpful or unkind but that doesn't work with me#i'd really appreciate some more...... concrete? advice. idk. like something i can do besides just thinking i'm not doing anything wrong#bc i'm not gonna stop thinking it no matter what. so i need a way to just fucking say no. just do it. and eventually deal with the guilt#later but at least i DID it#bye i'm rambling. tired. goodnight#no i am not watching spurs city i'm not in the mood to want to kms AND i need sleep !
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Message from your inner child
Before to start, sorry for any mistakes or grammar error. English is not my first language. How to choose? Think of something you liked when you were a child (a game, a toy, a smell, a candy, your favorite stuffed animal) and try to remember you as a kid, take a deep breath and when you're ready, you and your inner child choose the image that drawn to you. Remember tarot is not set on stone and you can change your path whenever you want. This is for entertainment purposes. This reading is general so if it doesn't resonate with you just let it go
: ¨·.·¨ :
` ·. 🦋
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(˚ˎ 。7
|、˜〵
じしˍ,)ノ
TW. Direct or indirect mention of abuse, bulling, violence, familial violence, broken family among others.
Ok, let's go!!!
PILE 1
Hello my friend :) Do you remember how disastrous our childhood was? Do you remember that there were some people who hurt us? Remember when we were pushed aside from parties? Do you remember when we found out that sometimes the "love" of a couple is not two but three? Remember when we found out what infidelity meant? Come, here and close your eyes for a moment, because I want to tell you a secret but I don't want you to see me are you ready? Yes? Ok: the infidelity of our parents marked me
I know since then we don't know what it means to love or how to make a relationship work. I know it's a lot harder for you than it was for me. I know sometimes you wonder if you're loving too little or too much, I know you're scared of being harmed like mom and dad did. Do you still feel that strange feeling of isolating all noise with music or the TV on while we sit on the floor of the room begging for it all to end? I do love you, my friend :) I know it seems a little difficult, I know it seems a little hard to say and hear, I know you may not believe it because they made you doubt what it means to love someone, but, I'll let you in on another secret: I don't feel alone anymore. I've learned that sometimes we have to leave where the water overflows to build a better castle. I learned to be smarter and not to argue when it's not necessary, to stop talking where no one listens, to live with myself and with you.
Please, I know it's not easy, but I want you to start again, on your own, I want you to leave everything behind, to let the dragons (they are not bad I already talked to them and they said they are on our side) I want you to let them destroy what hurts us, and to start building your own fortress. I want to be your first beautiful relationship. I want that you love me because I love you and I will always love you. Please love me, okay? Let's be you and me (km little you, hehe) against everyone. I want to be your partner in crime and have us laugh together. I promise you that after that, we're going to smile more and forget what they did to us.
You also have to eat well, did you hear me? Oh and don't tell anyone, but, I'm craving our favorite sweet treat from when we were little, can you eat it for us?
I'm always with you, don't forget me, I'm you but in little. Oh, something else, let's pretend it's your birthday, yei ! let's be happy for today and close your eyes again and make a wish
Francis Forever Mitski, Innocent Taylor Swift. Grey, Purple, Blue. Leaves & Streets. Orange juice?, Music, Cartoons, Headphones, Magic Wand. Mulan (I'll Make a Man Out of You)
🧸🎂🎈🍫 🧸🪄🎈🍫
PILE 2
Hey!!! What's up, buddy? I am very happy, I feel that I have arrived where I needed to be, I feel that the sun has finally risen, I feel that all the changes I had to go through have now paid off. The knowledge, the peace, the beliefs, everything I needed to cultivate is bearing fruit. See? I even speak as someone cultured and intellectual 😸. At first I didn't notice it, I was incredulous, but then I started thinking and thinking and thinking, and I realized that the change started in the interior. I know, you don't have to tell me, it sounds very cheesy, it sounds silly, but, I must admit, even if it's a little embarrassing, that sometimes dreaming and being cheesy is kind of fun SO DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME 😾😹. Ok, let's be serious, mate. We went through a time where we didn't believe in anything and we didn't even know if we should believe but I kept doing it. I kept looking until I got to where I needed to and BOOM it all made sense. Our lives are going to get better, we're better now, we're brave, we're smart, we're strong, we're cool !! We still have to keep learning, we still have a long way to go, but I learned that learning is also fun. DON'T GIVE UP, OK? Ok. I know it's hard to grow, but we've always wanted this, we've never bowed down, we've never given up, we've always looked forward and we'll continue to do so
Keep in your heart the ones who help you and give you happy moments, then let's continue writing our story
No matter how many steps forward you take, whether it's one or two or a thousand, I'll always be there proud of where you've taken us and what an amazing person you've made us. I only ask you to never forget where you come from and where you are going, don't forget to be grateful, don't play with anyone's heart or time, that's not good 😾. I want you to appreciate the time and I want that, when you think that the world is against you, or that everything is going wrong, you can change it. Don't worry, I don't want you to blame yourself for everything, but I also don't want you to always blame it on others. I know sometimes it's hard, keep trying again and again, even if you're scared don't don't victimize yourself because heroes don't do that, and you and I have the prettiest cape, we have the cutest glitter and we have the best superhero story just for us, and don't be afraid, because superheroes can do anything and if we can't our superhero friends will help us 😼
Let's be great, let's be epic!
Disney, A lot of changes or currently changing something, Happiness, Beach, Comics, Sun, Summer, Ice cream, Watch, Hats, Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride, Hannah Montana, Vacation, Pop en español (Pop in Spanish), Extrovert, Mischievous, Spider man? Funny, Tangled (the movie)
🦸, 👨🚀, 🐱, 🚀
PILE 3
There are two of us, we are yourself and I, and it has always been like this ☺️, do you feel confused? Because I do, a little bit, you won't get mad if I tell you, right? You'll understand, right? I feel like everything is going so fast, I feel like I can't stop, I feel like I want to rest, I feel like when I wanted the geography or math hour to end and go out for recess to get some fresh air. why is everything going so fast? I want to understand what's going on, I want to, I really want to, but I can't. Do you no longer feel distrustful? Do you believe in other people yet? Because I don't do it yet 🥺, do we have friends yet? Or are we still alone? Are they still hurting us? Are we still unsafe? I don't want to be like that anymore, I promise you, (crying?) I want to have a lot of friends, I want to be loved, I want to play, I want to have fun, but I can't believe in others, do you? I don't want to be alone, I know I said it was you and me, and I still believe it, it's you and me against the world, but I also want us to be more against the world. I want someone to turn on the light and hold my hand, would you? I want you to hug me, talk to me, I feel like you're mad at me, at the little you from a few years ago, did I do something wrong? Do you think it was my fault that we were treated like this? Do you think it was my fault that we were disappointed? I'm a little annoyed with you too, not gonna lie. you know what? I was a kid but you have everything to change what happened to us, you pretend that it doesn't hurt anymore and that's a lie! you're still upset and scared, listen, it's ENOUGH! Do something for us. At least I'm angry but I want us to change this, I want us to be happy. I want us to be together and happy, I want us to be one, I want you to remember me, but not only the bad but the good as well, remember what we like, remember the watercolors, the music we liked, remember the sun, the window, remember the yard, remember the stories that mom/dad used to tell us. Remember Mom/Dad. Remember the puddles after the rain. Please, I'm not asking you to want to be a child again to do everything differently, I'm asking you to connect with me so that our creativity flies, so that you know where to go, so that you can start something new.
The magic is in us, accept us, what you don't want to let out, is what makes us most beautiful
You will get what you want, but don't want everything, don't be ambitious. Don't forget us, don't forget you, never forget yourself.
Sadness, Grudge, Sobbing, Poverty (both spiritual and economic), Pranks, Bullying, Grass, Secret place, 8 years? Cold, Scams, Rain, Mirror, Emojis. Monsters, inc. As a child, Madeline The Person. J's lullaby (darling I'd wait for you), Delaney bailey. All I want, Kodaline. Rises the moon, Liana Flores
ꗃ🗝₊˚⊹♡ 𓉞 . ⸙͎。˚⋆ 𓋼
Hi guys! Sorry for the late update. To be honest I struggle being consistent in what I do, but I'm trying (no, I'm really trying) to be more consistent.
Today, is children's day in my country, so I decided to do this spread for you all, because I consider that connecting and embracing our inner child is one of the most healing things we can do. So happy Children's Day !!
Alic (Chanty) 🪽
#tarot#tarot reading#tarot asks#tarot cards#tarot tumblr#tarotblr#pick a card#tarot and astrology#tarotcommunity#pick one#pick a picture
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helloo! I was wondering if you could do hcs or a fic with Matt x reader who has ADHD ?? Love ur work <3
headcannons - m.s x adhd gf
pairings: matt sturniolo x reader
summary: headcannons
warning(s): talks of mental health
a/n: as someone with adhd i'm happy to write this!! read at ur own risk if this makes u uncomfortable anyone!
not proofread
okay matt would be SO GOOD with any girlfriend whatsoever, but if you had adhd?? aaaaaa
for me i def fidget a lot and with adhd comes bad habits sooo, picking your nails? he'll grab your hand, bouncing your leg? he'll put his hand on your knee.
"i'll do it later" no you won't!! matt is def so patient with you but when it comes to procrastinating, he'll make sure you get stuff done and help you, whatever u need.
when you first tell him you have adhd you're super nervous to tell him and stuff but he doesn't make it a big deal he's like "thank you for telling me baby" and just super sweet about it
knows you have no patience so never makes you wait for anything, always yells at his brothers to hurry the fuck up 🙈
loves when you ramble, even though you hate it because you don't even realize your doing it buuuut, he finds them adorable. staring at you intently the whole time, listening to every word.
knows you hate when things get too quiet, so when you're going to sleep he always turns the tv on, or when you're in a public space you guys will share an airpod (im dead)
^^ he makes a playlist of songs you guys like!!!
keeps remembrance of your current hyperfixations
if you ever snap at him or randomly get upset he'd be so sweet doing everything to try and make you feel better (kms)
if you're in a rough patch he's literally SO soft towards you like i just know chris and nick are making fun of him
def struggles a bit too in the mental health department but you guys help eachother grow.
TAGLIST:
@opheliaofficial07 @stargirlv0id @strnilolo @annaisabookworm @theperson-nextdoor @prettysturniolo @its-jennarose @gottamakemyhatersmad @luvsturniolo
#madispeaks!#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo headcannons#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo#fluff
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We finally got to watch UConn WBB play and as always I have thoughts!
I'm ngl, I almost jumped off a cliff after that first quarter but I'm very glad I didn't because the rest of the game didn't actually make me want to kms!
We'll start with the obvious which is: PAIGE. BUECKERS. NATIONAL. PLAYER. OF. THE. YEAR. 27 points on 12-14 (!!) shooting and 9 rebounds. My double-double prediction (even if it was point/assists) was almost true and really she should have had more assists but as the story goes, her team sold her dimes as per usual. But the main thing is don't let no fucking list fool you, PAIGE BUECKERS IS THE BEST FUCKING PLAYER ON THE PLANET.
I told y'all Kaitlyn was gonna get the first points didn't I? AND SHE DID!! In general I thought she was really good and everything I expected her to do well, she did. She's a great veteran presence and I think she's really gonna raise her draft stock at UConn
YEE FUCKING HAW. ASHLYNN SHADE THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. I said four 3's, she gave me 3 but the main thing is that her feet did move one defense!! She was aggressive on both sides of the ball and my favorite part of her stat sheet is the 4 steals. Feeling like a proud mom about my sophomore.
Sarah Strong YOU are my NFOY. I was so impressed with her and I knew she'd be good but I think she was even better than expected. The 3s didn't fall today but I very much do expect them to eventually fall and when they do, well it's basically game over!
Jana's hustle is going to pay dividends. She's aggressive and as soon as she's able to do that in a more controlled manner that doesn't lead to fouls, it's going to be something special. She and the team have both got to work to make sure she's getting up more shots though.
Allie baby 2-10 from 3...where's that girl from first night go? But I'm actually not that mad about it. Partly because she's simply just not gonna have the opportunity to do that again and also because I actually like that she keeps on shooting and doesn't let it phase her. The defense definitely needs a fair amount of work.
And finally Ice....*sigh* girlie GET IN THE FUCKING PAINT. Listen it wasn't all bad and I thought she was okay on defense and at least she did grab rebounds but like oh my god PLEASE JUST GET IN THE FUCKING PAINT. Maybe it's a confidence thing, maybe it's that she wants to be a wing but she just needs to get in the paint
I really liked our effort to rebound today. I won't read too much into it because it's a D2 team and we're taller than everyone but hustle can be translated and I hope to see it against better opponents too.
What I really didn't like is how stagnant the offense started off and how stagnant it got a couple of times, especially when Paige was out. But that's a new team thing and it's going to take some time to mesh it all together for 40 minutes and while it's not great right now, I see a lot of potential.
Final thought, y'all see my girl in warmups? MY AZZI BAHAMAS AGENDA IS IN FULL EFFECT!!
#uconn wbb#uconn women’s basketball#wcbb#uconn huskies#paige bueckers#kaitlyn chen#ashlynn shade#sarah strong#jana el alfy#allie ziebell#ice brady#azzi fudd#ugh almost shed a tear just seeing them all again i missed uconn hoops so much
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The following is a case file from Harry's ledger that seems to have been cut from the game. The text and audio is all still there in the game files, but the option to read it is inaccessible.
>Read a case file.
LOGIC - It takes about half an hour to piece one together, using the system you've devised. Which one do you want?
>COLLAPSING TENEMENT
DAMAGED LEDGER - This one's bad. Not that far from Precinct 41 -- in Central Jamrock -- there is an eight story apartment building with two hundred residents inside. It's the dead of winter, January. Snowing. Someone's beating their wife. It's half past midnight.
You get a complaint -- no one's there to take it. So you do call duty. The beating is taking place on the eighth floor. You take the elevator up. The building's creaking around you. Cold as hell. It's a run down old place. Concrete panels, rats everywhere.
And it's not pretty in the apartment either. By the time you arrive the husband's left. His wife has got her lip busted, face swollen. Eyes shut. Can't leave him, they're a *financial unit*. Enjoying this beautiful life in this beautiful tenement.
So anyway -- you take a leak before you leave.
In the apartment I got the call to?
DAMAGED LEDGER - Yes, cops do that. *While* you're taking a piss, you see a big crack in the wall. In the outer wall of the building. You can *feel* the cold air blow in. You take the elevator down, look up -- a big crack runs on the outer wall of the whole building.
Right from the foundation -- up to the eighth floor.
VISUAL CALCULUS [Easy: Success] - Oh god...
INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - No, no, no, no...
HALF LIGHT [Easy: Success] - Fucking hell.
The tilt is beyond the point of maximum deviation from the gravity bearing perpendicular. This means that the building is falling -- and will fall no matter what.
DAMAGED LEDGER - That's right. They trained you for this in cop school. Everyone has to pick a civil specialization so they can keep the city running: fire safety, first aid training, and so on. You took *building safety regulation*. And it tells you that this one -- is coming down.
+5 XP
Maybe not tonight. Maybe not even tomorrow. Maybe not the day after, but it's coming down. In a matter of days. It is physically impossible for it not to. And the two hundred people in there? They are all going down with it. The woman with the busted lip, the husband who beats her, their kids in the other room...
The drunk in the hallway. The girl in the elevator when you were going up. The youths on the stairs, laughing, smoking. The couple next to the apartment -- who made the call. They're all going to die.
But, you see, it's *freezing* outside. And there is no municipal government in Revachol. Nowhere to put these people. Two hundred people can't go to their *aunt's for a couple of days*. And above all -- there is no one to *tell* the building is coming down. No authority but you.
I'm gonna have to knock on every door and explain them how load bearing perpendiculars work?
I'm gonna have to go home and do nothing, not think about this ever again.
I'm gonna have to find my captain somewhere, first thing tomorrow. Maybe even *tonight*.
DAMAGED LEDGER - Bad, bad thoughts go through your head. So what you do is -- you call your partner. JV (only initials available) is up. He comes immediately. He didn't take building safety, but he believes you. He brings five more officers. Together you knock on *every door* and explain the situation.
The load bearing perpendicular. The maximum deviation. All of it... Some people believe you. Most don't. Some you have to *forcibly* remove. Some even pull guns on you. It takes 20 hours to evacuate the whole building. 200 people stand outside in the cold. Children cry.
Your captain puts them in a half-burned building 10 km South. It's got black mould and no roof, but hey -- it's better than death.
And then what?
DAMAGED LEDGER - And then the building doesn't come down. And it still hasn't. That was 52 days ago. BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT. The point is -- it *will* come down.
+5 XP
Am I *absolutely* sure?
And when it does, everyone in there will die.
If it hasn't, it won't. I was wrong.
Oh god, I don't know...
DAMAGED LEDGER - 100000000000%
2. And when it does, everyone in there will die.
DAMAGED LEDGER - At the end of the day -- no one knows. The math says it *must* collapse. And the optics show that it doesn't. It's as if some kind of *evil spirit* is holding the tenement together, like the jaws of a trap. Luring the people back in. One by one. Already they're going... At least 40 of them are living there now.
As we speak. And you can't *keep* them from going back, because they all hate you. They despise you. They think you threw them out of their homes. Every day they despise you more -- and every day, more of them go back.
And every day is a day closer to the day the building will fall.
DAMAGED LEDGER - Exactly. These notes have been very clear. Seems you have been thorough with documenting this one. So -- which one of these do you want to read *next*? (Because there is nothing you can do about THE COLLAPSING TENEMENT).
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Mute!
Non-Idol! Hanni X Mute! Reader
Description: Life as a mute girl in university: How does Y/n navigate her life, especially when she has to work on a project with her crush, one of the popular kids on campus? Can Y/n find a way to express her feelings?
Warnings: Trauma; strong language; kys/kms jokes; insults; bad family 😔 (kind of abuse?)
Chapter: Cold Hands (Fully-Written)
Masterlist
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With a scarf wrapped around my entire neck, I stood outside on campus, waiting for my crush. One of my hands was buried deep in my jacket pocket while the other clutched my tablet tightly. I shifted from one foot to the other, trying to keep warm. The wind was brutally cold as always.
"Hey," I heard from behind me and turned around. Almost immediately, the lower half of my face was exposed to the cold wind as I lifted my head slightly so Hanni could see my smile. However, she seemed a bit irritated, which made me pause.
I waved cautiously, but she only nodded in response. Lowering my head, I opened my tablet and grabbed the stylus to write, "Everything okay?"
Hanni sighed, which only made me more nervous. I unconsciously bit my lip as she replied, "I'm fine," looking at me without a smile. I decided not to press the issue and instead showed her the story for our project.
There was an awkward silence between us as she held my tablet, reading the script. My eyes were glued to her, catching every detail of her face.
Her big black eyes, the slight furrow in her brow as she concentrated on reading, her lips moving as she mouthed the words, her soft-looking cheeks. Her lips, her jaw, and her chin.
God, everything about her was perfect...
"I think it's okay, but I would rewrite this part," she began, turning the tablet towards me and pointing to a specific scene. "This one. It just doesn't sit right with me, though I can't really explain why," she said, laughing awkwardly. Her eyes locked on mine, and she stopped laughing.
I smiled and nodded, taking the tablet to mark the part she mentioned. Hanni gasped softly, "Your hands are so red..." She stepped closer, her brow furrowed. "I'm sorry... I suggested we meet outside," she sighed apologetically.
My eyes widened, and I shook my head immediately. I began writing on my tablet, "I agreed to meet—" but before I could finish, Hanni took my hand and entwined our fingers, placing them in her jacket pocket.
My mouth opened in surprise as I looked at her, noticing a slight blush on her cheeks as she avoided my gaze. A blush formed on my own cheeks, and I turned my head away.
We stood in the cold silence, yet surprisingly, I didn't feel cold at all. On the contrary, I felt quite warm...
I sneezed, prompting Hanni to look at me immediately. "We should go inside," she said softly, squeezing my hand gently. I nodded and smiled. "Don't look at me like that," she muttered under her breath as she led us into the university building, never letting my hand slip from her pocket.
My eyes were fixed on the back of her head until she stopped and turned to face me. Her jaw was tense. "Are we friends? Just say yes or no," she asked suddenly, causing me to look at her in confusion. I squeezed her hand and nodded.
Hanni swallowed as she looked over my entire face. "So... we're friends?" she asked again. This time, I withdrew my hand from hers and took it out of her pocket. My hand was quite warm.
"If you want to be," she read aloud softly, looking at my tablet and then back at me. Her eyes narrowed. "What do you want?" she asked, making me pause. It wasn't often that someone asked me what I wanted. I thought for a moment before writing my answer on the tablet.
"I want you by my side."
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Taglist: @sixflame438 @saysirhc @itzzyyyyyyydaaaa @somedaydream @wonyoungssi @gtfoiydlyj
#newjeans#hanni pham#haerin#danielle#newjeans hyein#newjeans minji#newjeans hanni#itzy yuna#hanni x reader#jang wonyoung#felix stray kids#Mute!
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