#If only someone went back in time and killed Walt Disney as a baby... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nahimjustfeelingit-writes · 5 years ago

Text

Imagine:

Reader/ OC trying to keep her orgasms on the inside because she doesn’t like how she sounds.

This is going to be pretty long and detailed. Figured I could add this bit into an idea I had. I wanted to write it out just like this 😩.First time using an OC. Enjoy lovelies xoxoxo

Hello, it’s your girl Ebony here and you’re listening to The Love Zone. We already have a caller number one on the line...

“Hello?” Élise timidly spoke into the phone while seated in her dimly lit living room. There was a 100% chance of showers that evening and rainy nights were the perfect nights for her. Alone in a home she inherited from her grandmother in Marigny, New Orleans, Élise decided to call The Love Zone on WQUE-FM, New Orleans mainstream urban radio station. Ebony Starr was a famous Sexologist and radio personality from Bywater, New Orleans. She inspired Élise to start her own podcast that she titled Finally Exhaled which discusses overcoming past toxic relationships and starting new ones.

“Caller number one?” Ebony said into the microphone. Her voice echoed since Élise could hear it twice.

“Yes,” she licked some cocoa butter from her lips, “I’m caller number one.”

“Alright, love, do you have a question for me?”

“I’m a huge fan,” she nervously laughs, “Just...I didn’t expect you...to answer my call.”

“You’re so sweet, honey, thank you,” Ebony made Élise smile, “what’s your name?”

“Yolanda,” that was her mother’s name.

“Yolanda, Pretty name. I know a lot of Yolanda’s.”

“Yeah,” she toyed with her long dreaded hair.

“Why are you up so late, Yolanda? No work for tomorrow?”

It was 11:00 pm. She worked as a waitress in a bar and grill but that was just to keep busy. She was an only grandchild left with her grandmothers money. Her Father didn’t like the fact that she got everything. Typical. He wasn’t around so why did it matter to him?

“Work tomorrow evening,” she pondered for a moment, “Now I remember my question.”

Ebony laughs, “go ahead, what’s your question?”

Wiggling her toes at the fireplace she opens her mouth to speak, “How do I overcome being embarrassed by the way I sound when I orgasm and moan? I’m nervous to even ask this question but it’s been bothering me and I just...I don’t like it.”

“Hmm,” Ebony’s smooth hum reassured her, “Why don’t you like the way you sound, Yolanda?”

“It’s-its because I was told it was ugly mainly. My last boyfriend-shitty boyfriend by the way, told me I sounded like a dying animal,” Élise chuckles, “I want to move past that and embrace the way I sound whenever the moment happens for me again but...”

“You’re afraid the next man will find it just as ugly and look at you weird?”

“Yes, ugh,” Élise closes her eyes, “What the hell should I do?”

“Honestly? Embrace it. That sound is a beautiful sound, Yolanda. One of the sounds of love making. When it’s real and sudden like that it makes you stutter out incoherent words and sounds but only a real man, an experienced appreciative man, would love to hear those noises. How old were you when he told you this?”

“I was 20 years old. That was when we first started dating. A start to a long toxic relationship.” She didn’t mean to vent like that but she couldn’t help it. Her ex, Sean, was such an emotional abuser. He shot her down every chance he got to make her feel ugly. That was for four whole years. She was 25 now and wanted to heal from that.

“Oh, that explains it,” Ebony made a noise of disapproval, “See, boys don’t know a thing, honey. I’m happy you’re not in that toxic relationship anymore and there is a man out there that will love every screaming orgasm you have. Especially if he’s the cause.”

“I know you’re right but gosh,” what man anyway? The closest she’s ever come to a man since then was working at that bar and they all were too pushy and drunks. She was loosing all hope honestly.

“Yolanda, when was the last time you had sex?”

“Over a year ago.”

“You’re craving sex heavy, sweetie. You want to give yourself to someone badly and a year can do that. I don’t think it was only the way you sound it’s a trust thing as well. Sean betrayed your trust.

Bingo.

“I’m better now. I can trust but I just don’t know where to start.”

“There is no rush. Let it come to you, honey. Once it does...accept it. Feel it. If you can listen to yourself moan and shout when you orgasm alone then you can definitely do it in front of a man again. I bet you sound angelic.”

Élise blushes.

“I actually heard that smile through the phone, Ebony laughs, “Sweety, let that moan out, snatch a man’s soul, and feed that craving.”

Élise laughs pleasantly, “I really needed this thank you so much, Miss Starr.”

“Please, If you need to talk you could always come to my meet and greets and workshops in The French Quarter.”

“I’d like that,” Élise smiles wide with her high cheek bones, “thanks again, Ebony.”

“Thank you, Yolanda. Enjoy the rest of your evening, love.”

The line disconnected. Élise places her phone on the carpeted floor and thought about their conversation. She was pining for sex. She wanted her year back. A year of no dick or lips on her pussy. Sex toys over used and calling her name as we speak.

Let’s take it slow with some Beyoncé- Dangerously in Love 2...

Baby I love you/You are my life/My happiest moments weren’t complete if you weren’t by my side/You’re my relation/In connection to the sun/With you next to me/There’s no darkness I can’t overcome/You are my raindrops/ I am your seed...

The rain was coming down in sheets, banging against Élise’s rough top like bullets. There was no lightning or thunder. She was glad that she got the lighting in her grandmothers home fixed because if she didn’t the power would be out and Élise did not want to go into that cobwebbed basement to find candles. Last time she went down there she saw a possum. Élise has on nothing but a retro Voodoo Fishing T-shirt while seated in front of the fireplace. She finally stands, the heat of the flames warming her butt before she walked back to the couch where her crinkled copy of Roar of Thunder, Hear My Cry rested on top of a quilt.

She couldn’t sleep and Beyoncé had her singing with her eyes closed. Grabbing her Walt Disney World coffee mug that had lukewarm herbal tea in it, Élise snuggled into the couch while facing a small window just above the heater in her living room.

I hope everyone is being safe on this stormy Friday night. We have another caller on the line, caller number two?

Élise tunes in.

“I’m still unfaithful to my husband. I can’t shake the need to be with the other man. Just tonight I came home after frantic car sex in an open lot. I want to tell him...I want to tell him I’m happy with the other man.”

“Wow,” Élise loves this juicy talk. She could faintly hear Rihanna-Unfaithful play in the background which causes her to giggle. Ebony was hilarious.

Whew, honey, juggling two men?

“SHIT!”

Élise’s head shot up from the couch. The angry shout came from outside. Maybe someone was locked out the house, she thought. Élise covered herself with the quilt further to listen to more of The Love Zone.

You are killing this man. Just tell him the truth. I can hear the pain in your voice. If you want to end this the right way stop stringing him along and communicate...

Thump

A rather loud kick could be heard from outside. Now, her interest was peaked. Élise tosses the quilt back , tiptoeing to the window with her mug still in hand. She could see a little better only because the house had a porch. But it was still foggy. A man was outside with his hazards flashing. He had to have been out there for a minute with how drenched he was messing under the hood of his car. No lightning or thunder. Just the rain, but the rain was more than enough to make the situation extremely uncomfortable.

Élise couldn’t see him that clearly as he hopped in and out of his car every minute or so, probably trying to warm up before trying something else to get his car moving again. Thanks to the street lamp about twenty feet from where he parked she could make out the type of car. A Ford Mustang 2006. It was parked beside a neighbor of hers that she didn’t like at all. His name was Kevin and he was a white supremacist. Nothing new in the South. No family but she could have sworn she heard screams from his house...

“Fuck!” The man shouts again. Élise felt kind of guilty. She had no idea why. She was sure most of her neighbors saw him stranded out there as well. As quiet as her neighborhood is, something out of the ordinary rarely goes unnoticed. However, the fact that the man was still out there struggling on one of the worst nights, weather-wise, of the year didn’t sit right with her. What harm would it be to offer to let him into her home so he could properly make a call for a Tow service or have a nice cup of tea and a hot meal? Loan a flashlight, or let him warm up by the fireplace for a moment?

Élise stares down at what she was wearing again. That retro Voodoo Fishing T-shirt. Élise went to the closet to grab her red longline puffer coat and black Hunter rain boots. She grabs a flashlight from the closet shelf, trying it out to see if it worked. A couple slaps with it to the palm of her hand made the old thing ignite and she was headed for the door. Élise swung the front door open like a women on a mission. She stomps across her front porch and right down the steps, pulling the back of her coat up over her head to keep from getting her dreads wet.

“Excuse me!” She yelled out from the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street from where the man was parked. He looked in her direction, and she could finally make out his soaked face. She was not disappointed.

“Wassup?!” He responded loudly, “This rain is a bitch!”

“Yeah, it is! Do you need some help?! It’s pretty cold out too my place is warm!”

He kept a steady gaze on her from under his hood. He had this look on his face as if that were a bad idea. Now, Élise was regretting it.

“Are you waiting for someone?!” She started up the conversation again. Her legs were so wet now.

“Nah!” He shook his head and from what Élise could make out she saw short dreads fall over his forehead, “Listen, it’s bad out here, sweetheart why don’t you go back inside, huh?!”

“You sure?!” She pointed her flashlight to the house, “My offer still stands if you change your mind!”

“Thanks, I appreciate it, ma!”

Even though it was dark she could see his smile. Damn, he was good-looking. All that out here melting in the rain. Élise turned to run back to the porch only to fall right on the concrete. She felt both her knees hit the ground. She wailed in pain. Her hands planted to the ground and she tried lifting up but her rain boots slipped right from under her. She could feel hot tears prick her eyes.

“SHIT!!! Hey, Ma!” He called out. Élise could hear heavy feet splashing in the flooded streets and then a pair of wet hands grabbing her waist and lifting her all the way up into bridal style. She squinted her eyes up at the nice-looking man with the fucked up car. He started walking back to her porch. He sat her down on an old chained swing chair before removing his black hoodie and tossing it on the swing chair with her. It was probably uncomfortable walking around with heavily soaked fabric. One thing was for sure: he was built. He had on a charcoal gray tee that was hugging his body something fierce. Élise could make out his physique thanks to him being up close and personal now. Then there was those dreads. They fit his rugged look so perfectly. He definitely wasn’t from around here.

“What are you doing out here? It’s bad, sweetheart, you could have cracked your head open on the ground instead.”

She blinked up at him with timid eyes. He softened his stern ones before his eyes closed. His hands finger combed his dreads back before he shook his head to stop the dripping water.

“My bad,” he looked down at her on the swing chair, “you’re probably thinking who the fuck he think he is talking to me,” he laughs awkwardly.

“Not at all,” Élise looked away and down at her lap. He was right. She was so quick to come running to the rescue. It was almost flooded outside.

“Let me see the damage,” He crouches down to look at her knees, “just scraped skin but it needs to be cleaned off.”

His onyx eyes landed on hers before turning back to his car. Élise studies the back of his smooth neck and the curve of his ears. It seemed like forever that he was staring at his car.

“I have everything in my house I can take care of it. Thank you though.”

He turned back with a tilt of his head. His eyes looked up at her house while his fingers lazily drummed on the swing chair.

“My name is Erik.” He reached out to shake her hand.

“I’m Élise,” she grabbed it and noticed some cuts on his knuckles, “looks like you need some help too.”

Erik drew his hand back before covering his knuckles by folding his arms, “Shit, I forgot that was even there.”

“No worries, I’m not afraid of blood.” She clarified.

“You must not be afraid of much talking to a stranger at 12 in the morning in the rain.”

His tone was serious. Élise looked away from him with a shy smile.

“I have a big heart and my shitty neighbors wouldn’t help you out so I figured what the hell I can do it.”

“Not much happens around here, huh?” He asked with attentive eyes.

“No, it’s pretty quiet,” she took in every inch of him with her eyes. The tight charcoal gray shirt was damp and exposing every single muscle. She liked his short dreads, almond colored skin, and long, sexy eyelashes.

“You could have knocked on someone’s door to give you a jump.”

“Ha,” his chuckle was dry, “You don’t answer doors when strangers knock, baby girl. And I don’t trust knocking on doors in this neighborhood. I’m lucky you even stepped out,” he smiled faintly, “like a breath of fresh air.”

“I agree,” she changed it up, “it’s just-“

“Don’t explain yourself. It’s cool,” Erik stands, stretching out the muscles in his arms. His eyes were studying her home with a new found curiosity.

“In this world we live in, you never know what you might find knocking on someone’s door. Most people are suspicious, especially of us black men.”

“True,” she stood with him, wrapping her coat around her, “so...do you wanna come in?”

He licked his lips and placed his hands in his black cargo pants pockets. He looked like he was freezing and she could see his cold breath.

“Erik, I have blankets and dry shirts,” she beemed up at him.

He squinted his eyes playfully at her before his head fell forward with defeat. Success.

“A blanket does sound nice. But, as tiny as you are, I doubt I could fit into one of your shirts.”

Élise thought she saw a flicker of lust in his eyes when he said that. At least, a part of her hoped she saw lust.

“Unless...” He gave her quizzical expression, “your boyfriend got some shirt he left behind.”

Élise blushes, “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

She could tell he was fighting a grin. Élise finally turned to lead the way back into her place, Erik grabbing his hoodie and walking through the door. The second he ended up in there he felt his body defrost and dry.

“Fuck,” he ran his hands over his short dreads, “I’m glad I let my pride down for once and let you help me. A nigga was cold.”

“Uh-Huh,” Élise laughs, “I see your skin warming up, Erik.”

“Oh yeah, I’m nice and toasty now,” He smiles flirtatiously.

“Hungry? Thirsty?”

“Nah, I’m cool.”

“Tow service?”

“Not available and...I’d rather not,” His jaw clenched.

“Well...” Élise shrugs, “looks like you’re staying the night, Erik.”

Erik raised a brow at her before looking around him to get acquainted.

She felt comfortable with him even though he was considered a stranger. Her grandmother would have higher blood pressure than what she already had if she knew what she’d just done. The thought of having some kind of company that night made her feel a lot better and less lonely. Élise finally locks her door and went to her closet to take off her boots and coat. It was all or nothing.

“Closet is free to put your boots and hoodie in.”

She was so damn comfortable around him that she forgot about only being in her T-shirt. Erik stood back with his arms folded watching Élise move and the fabric of the shirt sink in between her ass cheeks. She was sexy for sure. The second she kicked off her boots Erik could see the flesh of her butt... bare flesh.

This girl is serious? He thought.

Ass swinging while she moved. She was a cutie with a nice body. Alone in this big home. All that alone with no man. Shit didn’t make sense. Maybe she was just fucking someone. Erik began walking up to her while she took off her puffer coat to hang. Long slender dreads with shells in it. He wanted to pull on the coarse hair.

“Thanks, Élise,” He was so stealthy that she hadn’t noticed how close he had gotten to her. Elise’s back stiffened and her body tried to step away to give him space but Erik was already taking off his boots and hanging up his hoodie. She caught a whiff of his cologne causing her to nibble on her bottom lip. He didn’t smell like liquor and cigarettes like the men at the bar and grill she worked at. He smelled like rain, sweat, and what she recognized was Gucci Guilty men’s cologne. She remembered that smell from when she was in Macy’s sniffing around in the perfume section. It was intimate and warm at the same time.

“Don’t worry, your blankets will smell like me even when I leave, baby girl.”

She was caught red handed.

“I’m sorry,” she stroked a few dreads from her face, “Your cologne smells really good.”

We’re they really standing in the closet? She dropped the flashlight on the floor when Erik leaned in towards her to smell her now. He was more than comfortable around her. He acted like he knew her.

“You smell like coconut oil,” He gave her a coy smile, “I like that.” Erik crouched down in the small space to pick up the flashlight.

“T-thanks.” Élise licked her dry lips. She needs more cocoa butter.

“So, nice closet,” He teased.

“Yeah...very spacious,” she awkwardly tried to joke back.

Just show me around, ma, since I’m gonna be sleeping here tonight. Unless...you changed your mind?”

He leaned in toward her with a slight raise of his brow and parted lips. He knew he had hers shooken up.

“Yeah, I have a spare bedroom and the couch pulls out into a bed.”

Erik’s eyes trailed up and down her body, “Pull out couch is fine.”

Élise finally let out the breath she’d been holding once Erik stepped away and into her living room. She watched him look around like he was in a museum, staring at her family photos and the art on the walls. Élise has redecorated since moving in two years ago.

“This you?” Erik had a wide smile on his face while pointing to a photo on the ledge of the fireplace. Élise walked over, spotting the photo in question. Oh, yes, when her hair was in a kinky fro, nose piercing, college T-shirt on two sizes too small, tiny denim shorts, and laying in the grass with her ass sitting out and ready to be grabbed.

“Looking like a little rebel,” He picked that photo up studying it with unrelenting eyes. She shuddered.

“Very sexy,” Erik commented and then he gave Élise that look. She turned away from him; she didn’t want him to see the desire in her eyes. She was beginning to have second thoughts about kissing and possibly fucking a complete stranger. No need to deny herself her own thoughts. She’s been thinking that the second he looked up at her from across the street in the rain.

“Where are you from, Erik?”

He placed the picture back on the fireplace ledge, “California.”

Élise was intrigued.

“Why New Orleans?” She followed him to the couch where he started pulling it out into a bed.

“Business,” He kept it short. She didn’t pry further because she sensed that he didn’t want her to know the nature of his “business.”

“How do you like it so far?”

He gathered the bottom of his shirt, bringing it up and over his head while his zealous eyes never left hers, “It’s cool, I’ve been before during Mardi Gras.”

She froze. Was his skin naturally like that? It wouldn’t make since with how neat the bumps were. What would make him do that? He didn’t seem bothered by her eyes taking it all in or the wondering crease in her brow. He wouldn’t tell her, she knew that. The shit was going to eat her alive.

She snapped out of her daze, “I haven’t been to a Mardi Gras since I was 21.”

“Why?” He settles down shirtless on the pullout. His body bathed in the fire. She could feel her tongue tingling to taste his skin. Erik is so sexy.

“It’s so damn wild.”

“Please, girl,” He laughs, “Drunk white people acting a fool ain’t our kind of wild.”

They both laughed.

“When I came that shit was dead i was not partying with them. So, me and a friend hit up some urban spots and listened to some upbeat jazz and ate Cajun food. I met a chick and had some fun with her.”

What kind of fun?

“Sounds a lot better than the time I went.”

Élise stares down at her scraped knees. The crimson peeked through the tiny scratches. Now that her attention was there it was beginning to burn.

“Where’s your bathroom so we can get those cuts cleaned, baby girl?”

Élise pointed to her stairwell, “Upstairs. I can bring it down you don’t have to come with me.”

“Well,” Erik had a roguish expression on his face, “what if I wanna see what upstairs looks like?”

Her wary eyes stared at his wry expression. Erik was definitely being very coy with her.

“You won’t find anything interesting upstairs except for my bedroom.”

Élise’s wistful expression let Erik know without even saying it flat out that she wanted him in her room. He fixed his eyes on her for being that bold with him. She wasn’t so shy. She was a little rebel.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Élise tries to play it off, “I should probably shut up.”

“Let’s go,” Erik stood up, holding his hand out to her. Élise grabs his hand, leading Erik to the staircase and up the creaky steps. It was dark and chilly in the hallway since she didn’t turn on the heat upstairs. She could hear Erik shiver even though his hand was still warm. They made it to her bathroom, Élise turning on the light. She hadn’t changed it around much. Her grandmother still had Élise’s potty from when she was a baby in there. She never let go of things.

“My guess is this house belonged to your grandmother?” Erik finally spoke while standing at the sink.

“Yep. She passed away from breast cancer two years ago.”

“I know how that shit feels, trust me,” Erik opened her medicine cabinet to find a withering first aid kit, “I lost my mom and my dad so I understand.”

Erik motioned for Élise to come to him. When she did he picked her up and sat her on the edge of the sink. Her short yet thick legs swung back and forth reminding her of when she was a child. Erik opened the kit and grabbed some gauze dressing, peroxide, and neosporin.

“You must really enjoy picking me up, stranger,” Élise’s playful eyes sought out Erik’s and the second he smiled revealing those deep dimples in his cheeks she crossed her legs to simmer the heat growing between them. Even the grip she had on the edge of the sing became firmer.

there is a man out there that will love every screaming orgasm you have. Especially if he’s the cause.

Ebony’s words spoke to her again. She was thinking about the sounds she would make if Erik fucked her. He was still shirtless, his cargo pants riding low on his hips showing her that chiseled v-cut of his, and those lashes with his onyx eyes blinked at her like he was trying to read her mind. Lord knows Élise wanted to read his. He was so mysterious and unreadable and that didn’t scare her. It made her want to stake her claim on him. He was visiting New Orleans and maybe she could show him around and they could have some fun of their own. Élise was lonely and friends weren’t enough to fill the void. Not really much family left either. She needed the warmth and comfort of a man.

But Erik looked like the type to break you down piece by piece. She wouldn’t mind him turning her out. Élise didn’t know how long she was staring but Erik’s soft fingers tapping the sides of her thighs broke her out of her dreamy state. Staring down, she could see the fresh gauze covering her wounds. Élise bit into her lip and without being able to control it her high cheek bones puffed out. He made her blush over everything. Why couldn’t he be from New Orleans and not California? Once he left she wouldn’t find another guy around like him. She already crushed on him and she hardly even knew him.

“What did I do to make you blush, pretty girl?”

“What didn’t you do, Erik,” She reaches out for his hands, “let me see.”

He came in closer between her legs, giving her permission to grab his hands and examine his scarred knuckles. It looked pretty bad. Did he beat a brick wall or somebody’s face? She glanced up at him briefly and without saying a word she tended his wounds. His searching expression made her belly flit like butterfly wings. Now, she was rubbing neosporin in carefully. She could feel his eyes leering at her in a sexually suggestive way.

“These are pretty fresh,” she muttered. Élise’s eyes looked from his Adam’s apple bobbing from swallowing spit to his teeth nibbling the corner of his full pouty lip. He didn’t look at her when she said that.

“That’s because they are, Élise,” he says with a low voice. She started wrapping the gauze dressing around his hand. After she was done she didn’t let his hands go. Élise surely didn’t want to. They stood in a comfortable silence and it gave her time to think about his fresh wounds. He didn’t look like the type to go around beating brick walls but faces? That was definitely the answer. And surprisingly, Élise wasn’t afraid. If Erik wanted to rob her or kill her he would have done that already. Instead he was kind to her and he looked at her like he wanted to fuck her. She liked that look a lot.

“Élise.” Erik spoke earnestly.

“Yes?” She said with a soft-spoken voice.

“You’re not afraid of me. Why?”

“Because I know you won’t hurt me.”

She noticed him watching the way her lips moved when she said that. He was admiring the shape of them. Her lips were the perfect proportion. Perfectly symmetrical on the left and the right. Full lips with volume and a plump pout.

“Yeah, baby girl, I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“...but you did hurt someone...”

Erik glides his tongue over his upper teeth, responding but completely ignoring her question, “what if I kissed you right now? That wouldn’t change your mind?”

“No.” Élise said gazing into his eyes.

Erik leans in with his hands bracing the sides of the sink. His lips sparingly touched hers as he spoke. Élise clings to every word while her low eyes stared at his mouth.

“If you lettin’ me put my mouth on yours then you’ll let me put something else on you...am I right?”

Élise has an anxious feeling and Erik wasn’t helping when the flesh of his bottom lip tickled hers every time he spoke. Now, her eyelids were fluttering. Still in nothing but that retro Voodoo Fishing T-shirt and no panties. She wondered if he could smell her arousal towards him.

“Erik-“

“Just answer the question, Élise.”

“Yes, I would.”

“If you’re not afraid of me you would answer my questions,” Erik moved his lips to her ear, his hard chest touching her clothed one. Élise shuddered when his warm breath tickled her ear, “Why are you so comfortable around me with this little ass T-shirt on and no panties?”

“H-How do you know I don’t have on panties?”

“Because,” the hair from his beard touched her neck, “I could see that ass from the back when you were in that closet, ma.”

She hung on to his captivating voice while staring at the side of his neck. Élise was sweating from how turned on she was and he didn’t even kiss her yet.

“That’s what I’m talking about. You act like you know me...what if I would have pulled that shirt up to get a better look at that ass?”

Élise gasps at his words, turning to look at him with alluring eyes. What if he would have done that? He was already so close to her. Now she was imagining him bending her over in that closet and going deep in her pussy from the back. She found that to be very sexy and thrilling. Élise’s grandmother was probably turning over in her grave right now. Her granddaughter letting a strange and clearly very dangerous man into her home and allowing him to seduce her.

Erik takes his hands to rest on her thighs. He moved them up and down in a slow motion keeping a steady gaze on Élise to see if she would flinch away. No, she was enjoying the firmness of his hands. He knew exactly what he was doing. Élise could feel his fingertips hit the bottom of her T-shirt. Damn...he was so close.

“Élise, you so damn thick, girl.”

“Thank you.” She bit down on her tongue to fight her ugly moan. At least that’s what she thought it was. Her eyes descended when she felt Erik lift the bottom of her shirt. Unhurried and gentle Erik lifts that T-shirt up to reveal Élise’s shaved mound. The phat flesh sat between her plush thighs like a surprise treat.

“Damn, you just letting me do this, huh?”

“Yes,” she let out an airy sigh, “I am.”

“Been too long, ma?” Erik had a wolfish expression on his face, “shit, you nice and phat down there too.”

Erik pulled her shirt back down and Élise’s heart sank before his pillowy lips finally connected with hers so suddenly. Her head almost collided with the mirror from how alarmed she was. Her hands reached up to cup his face while she allowed this man to fuck her mouth with his tongue. She tried to keep up with him but in the end Erik conquered her. His mouth tasted amazing. Now, he was gripping her curvy waist with his forceful hands and practically pulling her into his body. Their heads moved from side to side and their lips smacked and sucked on each other’s. A tiny yelp escaped her mouth when Erik sank his teeth into her bottom lip before drawing back. He licks his lips in one motion all the way around his mouth and Élise was officially hungry for more of him. A man coming in from the rain. A man she would have never expected would be kissing her on her bathroom sink. It was so risky.

“Ahhhh!” She moaned instantaneously. His lips and teeth were on her neck. Shit, Élise actually moaned. Why was she even worried? She actually sounded quite nice. Erik was bruising her skin with the right suction of his lips. If it felt like that on her neck it would feel just as good on her hard nipples and clit. The surface of the sink was moist from her pussy rubbing and gliding along the surface.

“Taste so goddam good, girl,” he flattened his tongue and licked her neck, “so sweet.”

“God, Erik,” she moaned, “I can’t believe I’m letting you do this to me.”

“I can,” He chuckles, “You like that I’m doing this to you. I can tell you’ve been loosing out, ma, got you all sweaty and breathing deep.”

“I just can’t...believe...fuck, Erik.”

His hands grabbed her breasts, circling them and tweaking her nipples through her shirt. He was torturing her at this point. Élise wanted him to rip that shirt off her body.

“You’re driving me crazy,” She whispered, “Erik,” her voice was so hushed and heavenly. The man in question was just as frazzled as her. Panting, a sheen of sweat on his skin, his dick hardening and thickening against her inner thighs.

“Élise...I wanna fuck you.” He grabs her hips to keep her still, “listen to me,” his thumb came up to stroke her dimples chin, “...I wanna fuck you so good, girl. You need to take some good dick.”

“It’s been so long,” she bit into her pouty lip.

“Shit, how long?” He was running his hands through her dreaded strands.

“I feel,” she shivers, “I feel so embarrassed saying it,” Élise’s murmured like she was telling a huge secret.

“You can tell me...don’t be scared, girl.”

“A year,” she closed her eyes.

What the fuck. An entire year. Élise was yearning, longing, craving, and hungry for some dick and attention. Part of Erik wondered if that was one of the reasons why she let him into her home.

“Aye,” Erik soothes her, “that’s a long time, baby girl, but I can help you out with that,” Erik takes her hand to kiss it gently before speaking against her knuckles, “I can make you feel better....”

“Erik.”

“You know you want me to...let me make you feel good...” He kissed her hand again while staring into her eyes. Erik felt her thighs quiver around his waist.

“I got you, ma.”

“Erik,” she kept whispering at him and it had him grunting and painfully hard, “I’m so wet, I can’t believe it...Erik.”

She’s so beautiful. God, Erik needed this right now. He needed her ass.

“Élise, girl, I swear to fucking God-“

“Erik, please, Erik.”

Élise unexpectantly lifts both of her legs to the sink, her entire T-shirt bunched up around her waist now showing Erik all that wet juicy pink. Pussy looking like a wet piece of fruit. A peach drizzled in honey. Tight slit with puffy suckable lips. Erik’s eyes were vicious. He reached out to keep her thighs back since she wanted it that way. Then, in a blink of an eye, he had her pushed back against the mirror with her ass hanging over the edge of that sink.

“Oh? You itchin’ for me, ain’t you? opening up your fucking legs like that. Just telling me I can have it? Girl, I will beat this pussy up right on this motherfucking sink. Fucking playing with me if you want...”

She caved when she saw him spit thickly on her pussy. She drew her lips into her mouth. Élise could feel the saliva practically slap her clit. He was so fucking nasty. She just knew that Erik would have her making all types of noises.

“Still ain’t scared, huh?”

“No.” Her voice shook even though she said no.

Erik’s head went down between her legs. He stuck his tongue out as far as it could go and began licking the underside of her clit back and forth. Élise clenched her teeth, the sounds begging to escape her mouth.

“I don’t hear nothing. If you ain’t afraid why don’t I hear you moaning, baby girl?”

Erik went in again slurping her up and licking in a deadly pattern. She felt him tug on her clit and inner folds. She was ready to cum already.

“Erik, Erik I-Stop it, I’m-Erik, please, please I’m-oh my God you’re-you’re making me-Ooooh you’re making me-“

Like it wasn’t in her own control, Élise moaned as her orgasm erupted from her. Her eyes squeezed shut and the so called animalistic sounds escaped her mouth. She was choking on her moans and she hated that she couldn’t control it but this fucking man...he was eating her. Making up for that year. Every month fueling him to suck and lick on that pussy some more. Even after she came he still covered her with his entire mouth and spit. She waited and waited for him to say she sounded ugly or look at her bizarrely but no. Instead he says...

“Good fucking girl. That’s right, cum in this mouth. Shit, cum all you want, do it, baby girl.”

Thank god for his car breaking down.

“Yes!”

“Uh-Huh, you want some more!”

She nodded her head with vigorously.

“Look at you,” Erik bit his lip while thumbing her clit, “look at you shaking and moaning,” his motions increased, “cumming again? That pussy cummimg for me? she ready to bust for me, Élise?”

“Mmmm, Erikkkk, baybeee!”

“You just keep on going?” He smiled.

“I-I’m sorry,” her body spasmed, “I can make a lot of mess.”

Élise was referring to her squirting habit.

“You can squirt all over Daddy whenever you like,” He inserts two fingers inside of her. She rolled her eyes shut, body vanquished but feeining for more.

“Grabbing my fingers like that? Gon’ head and cum...better yet fuck these fingers. Get you some, ma, pop that pussy on these fingers.”

Her hips lifted to get all of his fingers as he dug deep.

“Ooh...ooh...look at you...got my dick heavy in these pants.”

Élise watched him grab his dick. He was so long. She couldn’t wait to see it. And fuck it. And suck it...

“Damn, shit, I can’t wait to pound that puss.”

She shouted out again, pussy convulsing around his thick fingers. Her throat was raw from how hard she screamed.

“So fucking beautiful. Shit don’t make no sense.”

@tgigoldie @soufcakmistress @chefjessypooh@chaneajoyyy@pananegra@theblulife @becincere @blaqwidow91 @fish-outta-watah@moonlight-night-sky @eyeknowmywrites @crowngold@njadakillthiscookie@blktinkerbell@luvanxi @sheisexcellent1@chocolatedippedinhoney@brandithecrystalgem@dababydababydababydababy@soulfulbeauty19@btitannaaa@sunkissedebony97 @youngblackndgifted@harleycativy @rbhp@thee-germanpeach @thadelightfulone@bugngiz@palmstreesallday@skylahb @bakaris-shorty @nizzle-mo @truglori @queenflaws @ljstraightnochaser @nickidub718 @vikkidc @thehomierobbstark @rent-emspoons @abluesforlyssa

#nahimjustfeelingit writes #killmonger smut #killmonger fic #killmonger x reader #killmonger imagine

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jamielea81 · 5 years ago

Text

Conversations

Chapter 4

Description: You accompany your friends on a day trip to Animal Kingdom Theme Park where you meet Scott Evans by chance. This one afternoon leads to a year long friendship with both Chris and Scott over text messages and phone calls.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Cursing, drinking, and drunk texting.

A/N: Italics are internal thoughts.

Chapter 3

“Where do you want to eat?” Brooks asked once the two of you reached a strip of fast food and casual eateries.

Both of you left the office in search of a late lunch. In actuality, Brooks surprised you in the parking lot when you pulled in. You had just eaten breakfast two hours prior, but hey, if he was paying, you were going.

“Champs is always good,” you said.

Brooks hummed in reply, but kept walking past the entrance, leaving you standing there puzzled.

“Okaaaaay,” you said as you jogged to catch up. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Okay. Sure. We’ll go with that,” you replied.

When you passed the fifth restaurant, you quickly walked ahead, grabbing the door for Panera Bread and holding it open for him. “In! Now!”

He chucked, shook his head, and walked in, you following behind.

With a large, apple and chicken salad in front of you, as well as large hunk of bread, you decided to let the two of you eat in peace before the interrogation began.

“Do you really need three packets of butter for that piece of bread?” he questioned.

You pointed the plastic butter knife at him. “It’s rude to talk with your mouth full. And yes, this is a lot of bread, so it deserves a proportionate amount of butter. Bread and butter give me life. Don’t hate,” you replied, tearing a chunk off.

He closed his mouth, chewing a large bite of his sandwich but giving you a large closed lipped smile.

After your stomach was overstuffed by the bread you insisted on eating, you took a large sip of water, eyeing Brooks who now had his phone in hand.

“You and Jana are too much alike. Always so serious on your damn phones,” you said. Pushing your cup away because you were just too full for even water.

“One to talk. I hear you are mighty chatty with those…Evans guys,” he whispers at the end causing you to roll your eyes.

“They’re both friends,” you reply, shrugging your shoulders.

“Not with Chris from what I hear,” he said, the smugness thick.

You bite out a laugh. “From what you hear. You mean Jana? That’s your big scoop? You’re such a punk.”

“I’m just sayin’ that it all sounds flirty to me.”

“Remind me to not tell Jana anything anymore,” you said.

He gives you a half smile, but says nothing else.

“It’s not like that. He’s Brish Mevins.” Brooks chuckles at the fake name you gave Chris. “Have you seen the girls he’s dated?”

Brooks shakes his head no, but picks up his phone and starts typing away. You put your hand over it, forcing it down.

“Neither have I, and I want to keep it that way. But I’m sure they’re gorgeous and probably all actresses. Besides, sometimes people just flirt. I do it too. It’s fun,” you replied.

“Think what you will, but be open to it,” Brooks says, taking his finger and tapping your nose.

“Dorks. That’s the only types of people I know.” Brooks scrunches up his face and gives you a smile. “Any way. Tell me what’s up and don’t say it’s nothing.”

He lets out a long breath but sits up straighter, his face instantly changing to one that’s excited. “I got a job offer,” he exclaims.

“A different one at the paper?” you asked.

He shakes his head no. “It’s with an online news organization. It’s still a sales position, but it’s better pay and I can work from anywhere.”

“Don’t leave me there by myself,” you pout. “You can’t buy me lunch if you’re at home.” Bottom lip sticking out.

“You’re hardly there by yourself. How often have I come to your desk and your busy chatting with the women around you?” he asked.

While you are extremely happy for your friend, damn, are you going to miss seeing him every day.

“Not the same.” You take a big breath in. “But I want the best for you. So, if you’re happy, I’ll be happy. The Cole family is certainly moving up. You with this new job and Jana making partner.”

Brooks throws a hand up. “Don’t jinx it. Nothing’s been announced yet.”

You copy his stance, adding your second hand in. “Fine. Fine. But it’s going to happen.”

It’s media day at Walt Disney’s Hollywood Studios. The second attraction, Rise of the Resistance in Galaxy’s Edge is opening and you are quite excited. You hadn’t always loved the Star Wars franchise, not getting into the movies until your early twenties thanks to an old boyfriend who was pretty obsessed. This ride is supposed to be a huge deal and with very little revealed to the public thus far, you’re stoked.

There’s a big presentation by CEO Robert Iger with some surprise guests. Storm Troopers are roaming the currently empty stage while various members of the media prepare to go live once the presentation starts. A borrowed camera with a zoom lens from the paper rests in your hand. You also have your digital voice recorder ready to go. It would be easier to film the event and take stills from the video, but with a good number of YouTubers making up the event, you can always catch what you missed later that night.

Robert Iger walks on the stage while small pyrotechnics fire off from the back. Cheers all around. The buzz in the air is catchy and you find yourself fangirling more than anything. The special guests end up being Daisy Ridley and John Boyega as both actors play a part in the ride.

You’re given a return time to ride the attraction that day. Seeing that you have about an hour until your time slot, you peruse the shops selling various themed wares. Even the bottles of Coke products are themed to match the land. You purchase an orbed shape bottle of Sprite and snap a selfie sending it off to Scott.

Scott: Sprite? You’re in Star Wars land and you get soda. Where’s the blue milk?

You laugh at his reply.

Y/N: Star Wars land? It’s called Galaxy’s Edge Grumpy.

Y/N: Have you tried the blue milk? I’ll stick with the pop thank you very much.

Scott: Pop?! What the fuck is pop?

Scott: How long have you lived in Florida. The word you’re looking for is soda.

Y/N: Whatever 🙄

You snuck a selfie with a Storm Trooper and sent it to Chris. A few minutes later he was calling you.

“Hey babe,” you answered.

Yeah, your friendship had taken on another nickname. He called you sweetheart and you called him babe. The first time you said it to him you cringed. Like full body folded in half while you waited for a reaction. You didn’t mean to say it, but Chris took to calling you almost daily. He had a long break in his schedule and you had become part of his day. One day the word just slipped out. It felt natural. When he went on as if nothing happened, you relaxed. The nickname slipped out more and more as if that were his name.

“You’re killing me sweetheart! Are you there for the paper?” he asked.

“Yeah. Story will post tomorrow if you want to read it. I’m about to go on Rise of the Resistance in a few minutes.”

“Of course, I want to read it. Send me the link tomorrow. Gah! I’m jealous,” he whined.

You let out a giggle. “Get your butt to Orlando then. If you can’t swing the cost of a hotel, you can stay with me,” you replied.

“Uh-huh, okay, Sassy. I’ll let you know. Go enjoy your day smartass,” he said.

“You wouldn’t put up with me if you didn’t like it,” you teased.

“Need to stop talking to Scott. Apparently, he’s a bad influence on you,” Chris said.

“Oh, I don’t doubt that. But I’m going to head over to the line. I’ll call you later babe,” you said.

“Sounds good sweetheart. Bye,” Chris said ending the call.

Rise of the Resistance was not only visually stunning, but action packed. There were so many details that no doubt you could ride ten additional times and still not catch them all. The Sentinel was lucky to have a Disney enthusiast such as yourself on staff. Whenever there was a Disney Parks story needed, they knew yours would trump the competition. While you knew you were good at your job, you were also your worst critic and struggled to really put yourself out there. This is why you mainly worked on assignment with only writing a story of your choosing from time to time.

On your way out of the park, you purchased a Mickey Premium Ice Cream Bar. You took a bite out of one of the ears and snapped a selfie. The picture was quickly sent to Chris since he asked you to mail one to him a month again.

Y/N: I was going to mail this but he just looked so damn tempting.

Chris: I may not talk to you for a while. I think you understand why.

Y/N: I refuse to believe that. I’ll call you later.

Chris: We’ll see

What a baby.

It was Christmas Eve and you were freezing cold in your mom’s house. The heat was on, but she liked to keep the thermostat set to sixty eight to keep the gas bill low. Living in Florida for fifteen years had thinned your blood. The one positive about being back in Minnesota in the winter besides seeing your family, were the cute winter clothes you could wear again. Despite the warmer temperatures all year round in Central Florida, clothing stores still sold tall boots and thick sweaters.

Dressed in a large cream cowl neck sweater, dark blue jeans, and fuzzy red and white stripped socks, you were still freezing. You pulled the green throw blanket up to your neck, wishing someone would hold your mug of hot cocoa spiked with Baileys up to your lips so you wouldn’t have to remove your hands from under your blanket.

“When did you turn into such a baby?” Heath, your younger brother asked.

Like a true baby, you stuck your tongue out at him. He smirked but shook his head at you before sitting down next to you on the couch. Your mom and her sisters are in the kitchen, fussing with dinner, but mostly drinking wine. The “kids” who are all in their late twenties and thirties include your cousins Jenny, Rebecca, Tony, and Nick and his wife Avery, as well as yourself and Heath.

You brother reaches forward and grabs your mug off the coffee table, taking a sip before passing it to you.

“This is weak,” he said.

“Not all of us need a splash of cocoa in our Baileys,” you replied.

“When’s the last time we all got drunk together?” Jenny asked.

“Not since Nick’s wedding and that was like ten years ago,” Rebecca replies.

“Count us out, we got the kids watching TV in basement and need to get home tonight,” Avery said.

Nick frowns causing you to chuckle.

“I’m game, but I don’t want to get Baileys drunk. What else do we have?” you asked.

Heath got up and walked into the kitchen, politely smiling at your mother before opening a cabinet. It was taking some effort as he was trying to reach the back of the cupboard. A few seconds later he walked back into the living room with his hands behind his back. Like a magician unveiling his trick, he pulls the bottle from behind his back.

The group of you oohs at the green bottle of Jägermeister.

“We’re going to be so sick,” Rebecca said.

“On Christmas,” you add. “Why does mom have a bottle of Jägermeister?

Fuck. Mom is going to be so mad at us.

“It’s mine from like five years ago. I left it here and forgot all about it,” Heath chuckles.

“Do we have shot glasses?” Jenny asked.

“Doubt it,” Heath said.

“But we do have Dixie cups in the bathroom.” Tony said, getting up from his seat and moving into the bathroom.

Heath grabbed his phone and hit play on his nineties music playlist. It may be Christmas Eve, but this was really a get together with your family since you mainly only came home once a year. Even then, not everyone was able to get together every year.

With your first shot in hand, you snap a selfie. Best to do it now before I start to get sloppy.

Downing the shot with your brother and cousins, you grab your phone to fire off a text, attaching the picture to send Chris and then to Scott.

Y/N: Cheers to a Merry Christmas

Scott’s the first to reply as you finish your second shot.

Scott: Someone’s getting holly and jolly

You giggled at that causing your family to all send you a questioning look.

“These shots are already going straight to my head,” you said quickly.

“Drinking game!” Heath shouts. “Since we know the Christmas Story is on TV, anytime someone says Ralphie, we drink.”

“We are so getting wasted tonight,” Tony said.

“Mom,” you called out. She walked from the kitchen into the living room where you all were. “I think everyone but Nick and Avery are staying over.”

“You kids,” she sighs as she shakes her head walking away.

Your phone buzzed in your hand. Chris had responded to your text.

Chris: God you’re adorable.

Butterflies swarmed in your stomach with heat instantly rising to your cheeks. You hoped the alcohol you consumed was a good enough cover for the redness you were no doubt showing.

Your phone started to buzz in your hand repeatedly. You were so lost in your thoughts, you almost missed the call entirely.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Merry Christmas sweetheart.” Chris said. His voice was a little rough, making you shiver.

“Hi Ba-Chris,” you said, almost slipping out the nickname in front of your family. Getting up quickly, you moved to your old bedroom for privacy.

“How’s your Christmas so far?” he asked.

“Really good. It’s like the first Christmas in maybe five years where all my cousins on my mom’s side could come,” you said. “We’re having a really good time.”

He chuckled. “I can see that. How many paper cups of alcohol have you had?”

“Only two. Probably a lot more to come,” you replied. “Besides, it’s warming me up. It’s like I get amnesia about the weather.”

“I bet. Too much sunshine. It’s cold here too,” Chris said.

“Are you and Scott in Boston?” you asked.

“Yep, for like the last week. Probably be here another couple of weeks. You should come to Boston,”

What?

You cleared your throat. “Like now?” you asked.

Chris chuckled again. Damn, if that laugh didn’t get you every time.

“Like in general.” He pauses for a moment. “You should come out sometime. Scott’s here a lot. I’m here a lot. It would be fun. Give ya the whole New England experience,” he said.

“You know, it’s cold in Massachusetts,” you chuckled out.

“It’s a good thing you look so cute in sweaters,” he said, seriousness in his voice.

Okay fine. I like Chris. I like him, like him. Fuck.

You’re rendered speechless. Yes, he’s flirty every once in a while, via text message, but hearing it over the phone is something else. It’s almost not fair that he can say those things but be a thousand miles away most days.

“Hello? Did I lose you sweetheart?” Chris asked.

“Sor…sorry. Yeah, I’ll think about it,” you stammered.

“Come in the fall. It’s beautiful in the fall and not too cold for you.”

“Okay. Yeah. We’ll work it out,” you replied.

“I’m holding you to it.” Chris said.

“Y/N? Where’d you go?” Rebecca called from the other room.

“Hey, Chris. I’m being summoned in the next room. M’sure I’m a few drinks behind by now,” you replied.

“Okay, sweetheart. Go have fun with your family,” he said.

“You too, babe. Merry Christmas,”

“Merry Christmas,” he replied.

You were indeed late to the party as everyone was plenty tipsy by the time you walked back into the living room. Tony handing you a full paper cup before you could even sit down.

An hour later you had given up on drinking. You were at the point where you were just tipsy enough with zero percent chance of getting sick and that was plenty. You had a feeling your mom would be waking everyone up bright and early tomorrow.

You picked up your phone and sent Chris a text. Because having your phone while drunk was a great idea.

Y/N: We all want something beautiful

Man, I wish I was beautiful

The two of you had a habit of sending song lyrics back and forth to each other. Since the nineties station was still playing on Heath’s phone, Mr. Jones seemed appropriate. And maybe the booze made you brave since the words had hidden meaning to your crush on Chris.

Chris: A little Counting Crows on Christmas?

Y/N: Why not? Sometimes Christmas makes you nostalgic for the 90s.

“One more shot. Come on. Just one more. You’re never home to get drunk with me anymore.” Heath sniggered.

“You are a bad influence on me,” you teased, poking him in his chest. “Fine. One more and that’s it.”

One more turned into three more and you were suddenly sloppy drunk. You said goodnight to everyone, after throwing them extra blankets and pillows you scrounged up from your bedroom.

Alone in your room, you couldn’t get your mind off of Chris. After calling you cute and inviting you to Boston, not to mention the flirty texts, it was all too much.

Y/N: I think yur so cutte

Y/N: so nice n sweet

Y/N: just derseve everything you evr want

Y/N: wish yo not so far away

Predictive text doesn’t catch everything apparently, but you’re pretty sure he would get what you were saying. Before you could type another devotion to Chris, your phone rang, causing you to drop it on your head.

“Motherfucker!” you exclaimed, rubbing your aching head.

The phone continued to ring regardless of your pain.

“Hello?” you groaned.

“So, I’m going to take a shot in the dark here and say that you are trying to text my brother.” Scott said.

“Scott! Hi! I miss you!”

He chuckled. “Yeah, Yeah. Miss you too Sassy. Sounds like someone’s a little drunk.”

You giggled. “You’re a little drunk!”

“Oh my god. I should be recording this call.” He murmured.

You laughed because that’s what you did when you drank. You weren’t sure why you were laughing, but Scott always put you in a good mood.

“Anyway. I’m going to call you tomorrow because you probably won’t remember this. I need you to put your phone away and go to sleep. Those text messages you thought you were sending to Chris, you actually sent to me,” he said.

You frowned, sticking out your bottom lip. “Can you show Chris? He needs to know,” you whined.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow sweetie. Now get some rest. Goodnight,” Scott said.

“Night Scott.”

The next morning you groaned to the sounds of your mother banging pots and pans. You were pretty sure she was doing it on purpose. With every bang, it felt like your head was going to crack open. Taking a pillow from under your head, you put it over your face and prayed that you could fall back to sleep. But then you remembered something about telling Chris he was cute.

Oh no! He’s going to think I’m some sad, desperate girl.

You grabbed your phone, praying Chris didn’t reply. Maybe he’d ignore it and save you the embarrassment. But then you remembered Scott calling you.

“Thank god for Scott,” you mumbled.

Typing out a quick reply to Scott since he would now be considered your saving grace.

Y/N: Thank you for saving me from myself.

Scott: No problem Sassy. How are you feeling?

Y/N: Like death. Not drinking again, probably for years.

Scott: So dramatic.

Y/N: Merry Christmas Grumpy.

Scott: Merry Christmas Sassy.

You plugged your nearly dead phone in to charge and regrettably got out of bed since your mom continued to make way too much noise at nine in the morning. You took a shower, hoping it would make you feel more alive. Sadly, it did not.

After eating breakfast which consisted of pancakes since your mom took a little mercy on you, you crawled back into bed. Christmas dinner was being served at five, so you grabbed your phone to set an alarm for an or two, because you knew you would over sleep. As soon as you picked it up, you saw you had a text from Chris.

Chris: Merry Christmas sweetheart.

Chris Evans was going to be the death of you.

Chapter 5

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takaraphoenix · 5 years ago

Note

Hi! What are your thoughts about OUAT.

That’s a complex, layered answer because my feelings for OUaT are very complex. The short of it is that, obsession and love level wise, this was my Shadowhunters before Shadowhunters existed as a show. I completely loved and adored this show, I watched every episode as soon as it came out, with a single-minded focus (as in: normally, when watching TV, I use the show as a background noise to my writing. There is only a select handful of TV shows that ever managed to get my full, undivided attention of me turning all else off to only focus on the show).

I love OUaT to bits and pieces. However, much like Shadowhunters, it was far from a flawless show. Very, very, very far. Seriously, it’s an absolute mess in many aspects but damn do I love it.

It appeals to many of the things I love. For one, classic Disney movies. For another, fairy tales - but the very specific niche genre of fairy tale crossovers, which is just... my biggest weakness, possibly. Thirdly, characters you can get invested in and love to bits and pieces.And fourth, shipping.

This is one of the incredibly small, tiny pool of shows where I absolutely adore the canon ships, not just in a “daw it’s cute enough” way that makes me accept that it is The Canon Ship That’s Happening, but in a way that has me actively invested in and rooting for those absolute dumbasses. And. Not just one ship, usually it’s like “huh I am surprisingly invested in this one ship”, but - Rumpel/Belle, Hook/Emma, David/Snow?? Yes, please, inject it into my veins.

Though also just as attached to my non-canon ships - REGINA/EMMA FOR LIFE, Ruby/Snow, Hook/David. And that duality of being really invested in the non-canon ships but still absolutely loving the canon ships? That is... completely and entirely unique to OUaT for me. Never happened outside this show.

I adore that this show did one of the things that I complained Descendants didn’t - it respects Snow White, the very first Disney princess, and puts her front and center. Never-ever made sense to me that Descendants just went “uuuh we at random picked Belle to rule all the kingdoms because I dunno the head writer loves Beauty and the Beast the most”... Snow White was Disney’s very first and I do think she deserves more respect.

The things they did with her! They made her an actual active heroine. Not a little girl hiding out in the woods. They explored possibilities and turned her into a total badass, who never lost the main qualities of Disney’s Snow White though. Her nurturing, loving, gentle soul. That is what I adore about her, because very often when trying to portray strong female characters, media removes their softness, makes them hardened to make them a badass.

Regina and Emma have such a brilliant canon dynamic - even beyond the fanon ship. The way they mended and grew together and became friends. The growth, the softness, the shared custody. I love them.

And with both Regina and Rumpel, I love the day they gradually progressed from “main antagonist from season 1″ to “part of the family”. This show is a found family feast.

It wasn’t flawless. It had some pacing issues, in my opinion. Like the Peter Pan arc was too long. They went hiking for like 12 episodes. That one still sticks with me as having bored me. And I also do think it was a huge mistake to make Peter Pan, one of Disney’s heroes a villain. He was a great villain and his actor absolutely killed it, don’t get me wrong, but in the context of Disney canon, it was a bit jarring.

The same is to be said about Arthur. Don’t take King Arthur, of all people, and turn him into a jackass. That didn’t sit right with me and I think that could, and should, have been handled differently.

As a huge fan of Wizard of Oz canon, I have mixed feelings about Zelina. She was kind of a joke most of the time, her raping Robin was not good at all (beeecause that’s what it is when you shapeshift into the person the other one loves and then have sex with them under pretense to get yourself pregnant), but in the end it - and her - fit relatively well into all of this.

Was completely wasted for the entire Frozen arc, but even I, someone who loathes that movie with a burning passion, genuinely enjoyed the way the show was trying to fix it? Answer all the unanswered question the movie left and actually tie it into the Snow Queen fairy tale? Like, that was a feast and I love that they did that. Also Ingrid was hot and checked all my boxes so there’s that.

In the same way, I adore what they did with Ursula. That they took the scraped canon of Ursula being Triton’s sister and worked with that and that they in the end decided to redeem her too - though I am still very disappointed that we never got to see Ursula actually interact with Ariel at all. That’d have been so interesting. (Also, I admit, they went really overkill with having three Ursulas. Regina pretending to be Ursula, Ursula the ancient golden statue goddess and the actual Ursula, daughter of Poseidon).

I love Hades. I love Greg Germann’s take on Hades. He absolutely killed it. The whole underworld story was incredibly awesome to me personally - though I know others didn’t like that half-season as much. But I really dug that.

I think that it started to fizz out after that though and that after the underworld storyline, they probably should have drawn it to a close, because... after everything, after five whole seasons of watching redemption and working hard to make up for the things you did in the past, they really just decided “and now Regina is gonna physically split off her Evil Queen”... and made that Evil Queen the villain. That felt insanely repetitive of season 1 and like a set-back for Regina.

(The second half of that season didn’t go better because honestly that whole nonsense with “not only is Rumpel the son of Peter Pan, nope, now we bring in his mom the Evil Fairy”, featuring the very overused trope of “baby is magically aged up to be a character who can contribute to the plot”... Not the best.)

Also I refuse to acknowledge the existence of that reboot season. It’s bullshit is what it is. The show had the perfect ending. And then they immediately slapped a reboot onto it... why? If they had taken their time, wait ten years until nostalgia for the show kicks in and the actors all need work again, and do a proper “now Henry goes through shit”, that’d have actually been interesting, but... the moment I saw “so... we keep half the main cast, break up some OTPs, don’t age the adults up but age Henry up and also there is now a second Cinderella”, I knew that’s not gonna be good.

Seriously, the second Cinderella is what really fucked it over for me. What I loved about OUaT was that it gave very specific rules to its universe.

The Author documents the tales. The Author gives them their spin. But they are still the same tale. Be that the Brothers Grimm, who documented Cinderella, or then Walt Disney, it was still Cinderella, from the Enchanted Forest. Their stories were simply written down.

That they then, in the reboot season, went “well, actually There Are Many Cinderellas!!” completely contradicts the previously established rules of this world? Because yes, the concept very similar to Cinderella actually exists in many cultures - and that was the cool thing of OUaT’s take, because pressumably that is because the Author was in said culture at said time and documented the tale, as is the Author’s job.

Especially since it was so... unnecessary? I mean, they gave Rapunzel one half-assed episode in the past, they never tackled Gold Mary, they could have shown what became of Hänsel and Gretel now also grown up, etc. There were other unused characters that could have been brought in instead of throwing the rules out of the window.

But moving on from that; I love that they didn’t limit themselves to Disney movies - that they did prominently put Red Riding Hood (my favorite fairy tale character) in there, that they worked with mythology as well as books.

One thing they absolutely fucked up was their spin-off though. Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. They made that. They decided that, out of everything touched upon in the series, Alice’s tale should get a spin-off... and then they didn’t use any of the actual characters?

Alice herself never got an appearance in OUaT, not prior or after the spin-off (only very much later in the reboot season, with a different Alice)

They had the Queen of Hearts on OUaT, but they didn’t use her as the main antagonist, or at least a huge deal, on Wonderland

They had the freaking Mad Hatter on OUaT, but he doesn’t even have a single cameo on Wonderland

And don’t give me “Seb Stan was too busy!”, because... even then, they could have recast. The Mad Hatter is kind of a big part of Alice in Wonderland, but... they ignored the majority of what is important in AiW in general, so there is that

They named the Red Queen Anastasia and very heavily implied that yes, the Anastasia who was the stepsister of Cinderella - but when OUaT’s original Cinderella got her stepsisters introduced, they suddenly had entirely different names than the Disney stepsisters and of course it wasn’t the same actress either

They introduced Jafar (for some reason) in Wonderland. And then recast him when Aladdin was tackled on OUaT and never addressed any of the things that happened on Wonderland, especially not how Jafar was the son of the sultan which would technically make him Jasmine’s brother

It was nearly dumb to move Will Scarlet to OUaT after the spin-off was axed, because at that point they legit just ignored Wonderland as a whole so this acknowledgment felt very off. But then it’s Michael Socha and I love him so I ain’t gonna complain about that.

So yes, I have mild issues with how they made a spin-off that had basically no inpact on the show, despite many elements that should have crossed over and carried significance in both shows.

Lastly, because we’re on the topic of spin-offs, I still would absolutely kill for a spin-off about Mulan, Merida and Ruby. Those three, exploring the Enchanting Forest together, training together, being gay together, it was the best thing. Which does force me to mention the gay. Because... Mulan was canonically in love with Aurora and when they set her up to find Ruby and journey with her, it came really off as them trying to make Mulan/Ruby happen. Then they introduce Merida, a very famously single princess, and you start to wonder. But in the end, it’s Ruby who ends up with Dorothy, aka two characters not associated with Disney. And it makes you wonder. (It doesn’t. We all know Disney is hugely homophobic. We all know OUaT most likely had some Disney executive yelling at them for even implying one of their characters may be gay. So they backtracked to give the wlw storyline to two characters that weren’t Disney property.)

Ah, I don’t like ending things on a negative note so one last positive - as weirdly as the Dark Swan arc was handled at parts, I absolutely love that Emma’s name being Swan really did pay off in making her the Swan Princess in the end and giving a nudge to Swan Lake with the Dark Swan. That was such a cool pay-off of something as small as a last name.

So, to sum it up, there’s some flaws in the writing, some things I wish would have been explored more, but overall good gods do I love and adore this TV show.

#Once Upon a Time #Once Upon a Time in Wonderland #Disney #Anonymous

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starfata · 5 years ago

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My visit to Disney Paris

It's been just over a month yet it feels like forever.

I had a great time- a few mistakes were made, certainly. But I'd never been to any Disney before, and most of the mistakes were minor.

Our favourite ride, hands down? Pirates of the Carribbean. Went on it four times! My favourite part is the 'new' Mercado scene- the rich lady tied up with her own jewelry is a fantastic image. Sadly, the only good picture of her I was able to find online was when the animatronic next to her went headless.

Phantom manor was lovely, although the story was a bit unclear to someone who didn't do research beforehand. By which I mean, mum thought Melanie's suitors had been killed by her husband, The Phantom. I'm just wondering who on earth she's supposed to be marrying after all four suitors are gone- yes, I know about Jake. It's just a general observation, there's no bridegroom in the ride anymore- only suitors/fiancés.

My one complaint for both potc and PM is how dark the walkways are- if there isn't a long queue to get to Potc, you should use your flashlight. Maybe it's not normally that dark, but it was practically black most of the way through the caves until you reached the loading area. And the walk to the loading area in PM, while atmospheric, was a bit irritating.

Big thunder mountain was okay, which from me is a huge compliment for a rollercoaster. I'm scared of heights, I literally get light headed and weak kneed on stepladders. I also hate the feeling of your stomach being left behind- so the fact I didn't absolutely hate BTM is a compliment! I even went on it twice. Liked the second time much better- the first time I was still not right after Hyperspace mountain. Just stopped feeling shaky while we were in the queue for BTM.

It took us an hour to recover from Hyperspace Mountain- can't say much about that, I started feeling sick with nerves the second the harnesses went down. Eyes squeezed shut once we got to the first battle because it was blurry without my glasses, which I'd put in my bag. Mum didn't like it either! Only thing notable was it took a moment to get my hair out the harness. Think I left some there too.

We were going to go on Star Tours- but not after that. Dumbo's aviation felt too exciting right after that.

The weather was a bit miserable when we went to Walt Disney studios, so we didn't go on any rides but Ratatouille- which was good, but not stand in line for an hour good. And the lady in front of mum didn't take off her mouse ears, so mum missed all the bits on screen. On our way out, back to the studios, we had snacks from the Winter menu carts- the hazelnut crepes were absolutely glorious.

Despite the cold wet weather, the trip was worth it for Mickey and the Magician alone! The only show you should go see if you don't have kids dragging you. I wish I'd looked up Frozen 2 and Stitch live before we queued for them- but too late now.

So we didn't have the best day at WDS park, through no fault of the park. I should have done more research on the shows, and maybe insisted on going on a few rides despite the cold/them being for babies.

Had a good time on our last day, even if I fumbled a bit on timing and we didn't get to see Mickey and the Magician again. Kind of wish we'd gone back to the park- but instead we waited over an hour for our bus at the hotel. Possibly closer to two hours. Guess we were eager to head home.

#Dlp #Disneyland Paris #phantom manor #potc

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longliveninokuni · 6 years ago

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“Love”

Part of the EOA Ship Appreciation Week on Discord.

Aww, Esteban is reminiscing about his life while holding his little baby girl in his arms. It's so cute! Nothing can bring his mood down, nothing!

Ff.net link if you prefer: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13208409/1/Love

A/N: Well, today's the final day of the EOA Ship Appreciation Week. Today's theme is "emotion," and there is a LOT of emotion in here. Some good, some bad, all emotional. I'm just surprised I was able to finish it on time. Well, enjoy!

Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit, fan-based, fanfiction. Elena of Avalor is owned by the Walt Disney Corporation and Craig Gerber. Luciana is my OC, so she belongs to me. Please support the official release.

How? How is this tiny thing in Estéban's arms so...so adorable?

It was an hour since Naomi gave birth to her and Estéban's daughter Luciana, and Estéban still can't believe this is happening. He's a father. He never thought he'd ever get to experience this feeling, just meeting someone you helped create then instantly fall in love with them. He gave up hope when Shuriki invaded, then basically made him her personal plaything.

By the time she was gone, he was too old.

Then somehow, he fell in love with someone much younger than him, but she fell in love with him as well. Then Mateo found a potion that could stop the aging process and the antidote for when Naomi is his age. And then he and Naomi got married and had the crazy notion to have kids.

Now, Estéban is holding his beautiful daughter after nine months of teasing, arguments, pregnancy symptoms, and reassuring moments. Both parents had doubts about being good parents. But all of that is over, and Estéban's doubts were gone the moment he held his little girl. How is it that it took time for him to love his wife and his youngest cousin when she was born, yet he instantly fell in love with this little bundle in his arms? He has no answer.

"Welcome to the world, Luciana." He whispered. His wife is currently asleep from giving birth, and Luciana is asleep because she's a baby. He gently nuzzles his face against hers. "You've been born into a wonderful family that will love you, no matter what."

"Oh, are you sure about that, Estéban?" Estéban froze. No, no, it can't be.

He shakily rose his head, only to be face-to-face with Shuriki. "Shuriki…" He whispered.

Shuriki smirked. "Well, it looks like you've built up quite the life Estéban. You even have your own little family. It's a shame that it's all based on a lie."

Estéban held his daughter close to his chest. "What are you talking about? I've told my family everything I did forty-six years ago. My conscience is clear!"

But Shuriki only chuckled. "Oh Estéban, I think you know what I mean." In the next moment, she's standing in front of him, staring at him with an all-too-familiar look.

Estéban grew fearful and tried to back away, but Shuriki was faster. She grabbed his daughter away from him. "NO!" He yelled.

Luciana is crying from being woken up. Shuriki looks at her with disgust. "Before we go back to our activities, let's get rid of this baggage."

The next moment, Luciana's crying went silent.

Estéban sat frozen. He just watched his daughter get murdered.

Shuriki then shifted her eyes to Naomi, but before Estéban could even move an inch, Shuriki already strikes. Black lightning shoots out from her hand and strikes Naomi's sleeping form. Her screams were quick, but they were loud.

"NAOMI!" Estéban moved to her side to try to shake her awake. But she never did.

Estéban was beginning to hyperventilate. His wife and child are dead. What can he do? Elena, he can get Elena to take her down-

"Ah, and with that, the last two members of your family are dead." Shuriki says.

Estéban froze. What? He looks towards Shuriki and realizes that her whole dress is covered in blood. Whose blood? It's too much to just be his daughter's. Then, that means…

Shuriki smirks as she sees Estéban's tears. "Well now, look who finally realized that he's alone." Then she moves over to him, grabs his chin, and turns his face towards hers. "Except, for me, of course."

Estéban's eyes widened at that. No, no no no no no no! Not again, not again, not AGAIN!

Estéban screams as he tries to push Shuriki away, but she overpowers him and pulls him onto the bed. She smirks at Estéban's terror-filled face. "Let's have some fun, shall we?" Estéban only screams.

"ESTÉBAN, WAKE UP!" Someone screamed. Then Estéban suddenly felt cold and wet. His eyes opened to see Naomi, sitting over him with a bucket, alive. She puts down the bucket when she sees Estéban awake. "Geeze, you scared me for a second there. What kind of nightmare had to give you a reaction like-OOF!" She was cut off as Estéban sat up and hugged Naomi tightly as he cried.

"I thought you died." He sobbed.

Naomi slowly relaxed as she hugged him back. "How?" Estéban only cried harder. Whatever killed her in his dream must be scary if it gives a reaction like...oooooh. "Was it Shuriki?" Her only response was him tightening his hug and crying.

Naomi rubbed his back. "It's okay; she's gone now. She's gone. She can't hurt you anymore. Elena got rid of her in Nueva Vista three years ago, remember? She's gone." Estéban continues to cry.

Naomi has no idea what to do, then came another cry, and she had to smile at that. "Our daughter's awake." She said.

Estéban tensed up a bit before looking over to the little bassinet next to the bed. And lo and behold, his little girl was in there alive and crying. He carefully moved out of Naomi's straddle to get out of bed and pick up Luciana, returning to the bed soon after. "No, no, don't cry. Daddy's sorry he woke you." He said calmly. He still had tears on his face, but he seems to have calmed a little.

Naomi rested her head on his shoulder as she caressed her daughter's cheek. She then turned to Estéban and kissed his cheek. "We're fine. We're alive. Shuriki is dead. You don't have to worry about her anymore. She can't hurt you."

Estéban took a deep breath as he tries to calm Luciana down, finally being able to when he let her grab his finger. "I know. I have no idea where that nightmare came from."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Estéban's silence for a few moments before he spoke. "I was dreaming about Luciana's birth, which was just a few hours ago. I was feeling happy holding her in my arms, reliving memories of us getting together-"

"You hogging our daughter to yourself?" Naomi interjected with a smirk.

Estéban gave a small chuckle. "Of course." Then his face fell. "But then, Shuriki came in. She took Luciana out of my hands, and she-" He cuts himself off, not wanting to say the rest of the sentence.

Naomi hugs him. "What happens after?"

"Then, she...kills you. While you slept." He feels her tighten her hug. "After that, she said that I was alone. But I didn't think that, the rest of our family surely must've been alive. But then I noticed the blood on her dress. There was too much." He takes a deep breath and swallows.

"Take your time; you don't have to rush. We can even end here if you want." Naomi starts rubbing his back.

Estéban starts shaking; he does want to stop here. Then he looks down at his daughter's face to see her looking right at him. Those innocent blue eyes are looking right at him. She lifted her hand that isn't holding his finger as close to his face as she could, then babbles incoherently.

Estéban's tears start falling again, but he's smiling. He kisses the hand holding his finger, and she giggles happily. "Mija."

Estéban frees his finger from Luciana's grasp and cups her cheek. "Shuriki wanted to use me. Again." He rubs his thumb gently on her cheek.

Naomi looks at him. "Did anything happen?"

Estéban shook his head. "No, that's when you woke me up." Estéban then kisses Luciana's forehead.

Naomi nods. "Are you okay?"

Estéban stood up and placed Luciana back in her bassinet. Then he returned to bed and kissed Naomi deeply. It's a few minutes before he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. "Thank you, for everything. I have no idea what I'd do if I lost you or Luciana."

Naomi gently pushes him down into bed. "Well, good thing that won't be for a long time." Then she pulls up the covers and settles next to him. "You never answered me: are you okay?"

Estéban turned to the side facing her and hugged her. "Yeah, I'm okay now." He rests his forehead against hers again.

Naomi smiles. "Good. But, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

Estéban smirks. "Well, it was a scary dream," he starts moving his hand down. "can you help me get back to sleep?"

Naomi grabs the moving hand. "Nice try, you're gonna have to wait until Luci's around six months before you even try to make me have another."

Estéban chuckles and pulls her close. "Fair enough. This'll do just fine."

And for the rest of the night, the two of them slept peacefully without incident.

In the morning, however, the two were awoken by a very hungry daughter.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

A/N: And with that, the shipping week has officially ended. *falls over dead* Hope you enjoyed, and try not to get killed. ;)

#eoa ship appreciation week #elena of avalor #esteomi #chancellor esteban #naomi turner #oc in here #little luciana #also shuriki #i'm a terrible person #but it ended happily #please don't kill me

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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 years ago

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#1yrago Tim O'Reilly's WTF? A book that tells us how to keep the technology baby and throw out the Big Tech bathwater

Tim O'Reilly has his finger on the pulse of technology and the people who make it in a way that is unmatched by anyone in the world; the publisher of the world's best-loved computer books, the host of technology's best-loved conferences, the convenor of the most important conversations about tech and its people, O'Reilly is literally uniquely situated to understand the arc, trajectory, and possible destinations of technology and its impact on real people, which is what separates his breakout business book, WTF?: What's the Future and Why It's Up to Us, from rest of the field.

I clearly remember the first time I met Tim O'Reilly: it was the inaugural meeting of the Intel Peer to Peer Working Group, in 2000, convened to create order out of the explosive chaos of P2P startups that had sprung up in the wake of Napster's runaway success (Napster at the time was the fastest-adopted technology in the history of the world).

We all sat there, us hopeful entrepreneurs, engineers, and hangers-on, and listened as Intel laid out the game plan. They would create a pyramid with a few incumbent technology giants at the top, paying six-figure dues and getting the final say in the group's disposition. The rest of us would pay five figures for the privilege of sitting silently in the back row and listening while the big guys decided what we'd do.

We were lulled into a kind of hypnotic paralysis. I remember thinking that it sounded terrible, but everyone else was going along with it, and after all, what did I know about how standardization of a new industry worked? Maybe this was how it was supposed to be.

Then Tim O'Reilly stood up and tore into Intel. The promise and excitement of P2P was the deconstruction of hierarchy, the power of anyone to talk to anyone about anything without permission or interference from anyone else, an evolution in the internet's own pluripotent "end-to-end" principle. Why was Intel imposing mainframe, command-and-control thinking on a system that promised the abolition of such a thing?

It was like being woken from a dream. I remember looking over at Tim and flashing on the Norman Rockwell painting, "Freedom of Speech," and realizing that goddamnit, he was right, this was bullshit. He was right, and that speech, I believe, killed the plan Intel had to control and tame the P2P world.

We live in a curious moment, now, when our technology, our institutions, and our heroes are unraveling, and their darkest aspects are overshadowing all the benefit they've brought us. From Louis CK to Google, from the Democratic Party to cryptography, from GMO to geoengineering, we are in the midst of a reckoning, and forced to confront the uneasy contradictions that we can no longer paper over. That's where WTF? comes in.

Recall that so much of what we love has always had a dark side lurking in it. Mark Twain's young girls and Lewis Carroll's younger girls; Gandhi's deplorable treatment of his wife; Orwell's naming names to the secret police; Walt Disney's rabid, far-right union-busting; and so on.

Historically, we've treated these deeply flawed people as having only two possible states: shameful and banished, or papered over and angelic. The cost of acknowledging the sins of these people was to give up their works: you couldn't honor Gandhi's principled work if you admitted his misogyny, so you buried the misogyny to preserve the principle. This meant that the survivors and victims of monstrous deeds had to have their pain weighed against the legitimacy of the works of the people who inflicted it.

It's a false dichotomy that works in the abuser's favor. If the cost of acknowledging Louis CK's rapey behavior is denying the merit of his comedy, then a survivor of that behavior has to convince us not to merely condemn CK -- she has to convince us to reframe our history with his work. The reality is that Louis CK made good art and did terrible, unforgivable things. The unforgivable things doesn't change the intrinsic merit of the work (though it obviously taints our view of it), and the path to confronting the behavior is much more direct and easier to traverse if we acknowledge this.

The same is true in business and technology. The convenience of Amazon and Uber, the pleasures of Facebook, the miraculous knowledge-augmentation of Google, the design of App Stores, the brilliance of Netflix -- they are all real, and true. And also real and undeniable are the abuses of these companies: deliberately addictive technology that abuses our mental health; tax evasion, monopolism, and Zuboffian Surveillance Capitalism with all that entails.

The question is, can we have one without the other? The answer from Facebook, Twitter, Google, Amazon, Comcast, Apple, Uber, et al is no. If you want to be able to switch from hailing cabs by waving your arms and praying to pressing a button; if you want to be able to search all the world's knowledge; if you want to keep in touch with friends (or foment revolution); if you want rollicking political debate, etc, etc, then the price you pay is all the baggage of late-stage capitalism: extreme wealth inequality, labor abuses, waste, surveillance, control.

Tim O'Reilly's history with computers and the internet pre-dates the rise of these grotesqueries, the financialization of the tech sector. He writes beautifully about the passion, the excitement, and the tremendous progress that technologists (from every walk of life) have brought to the tech sector, and cleanly cleaves the technology from its economic and political context. He dares to assert that we can love the sin and hate the sinner. That the reason tech went toxic was because unethical people made unethical choices, but those choices weren't inevitable or irreversible.

The progressive insistence that the baby is inseparable from the bathwater works to the favor of big business and big tech. If technology's critics insist that you have to choose between Facebook and surveillance and manipulation, they affirm Facebook's own position. But if critics insist that Facebook has deliberately, cynically married something wonderful with something terrible, they invite people to join their case and fight for a good Facebook, rather than demanding a kind of antitech hairshirt that insists that you have to give up, not demand better.

WTF? is a book about technology as it was, as it is, and as it could be. It is told from the perspective of someone who has been personally present at the most important moments in the fast-paced history of tech, and who played a significant role in those moments. It's a rare and important piece of criticism that inspires even as it dissects. Please do read this book.

WTF?: What's the Future and Why It's Up to Us [Tim O'Reilly/Harperbusiness]

https://boingboing.net/2017/12/02/love-the-sin-hate-the-sinner.html

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fandomwritingsgalore · 7 years ago

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Heads Up for a Fairytale (Chris Evans x Reader)

Pairing: Chris Evans x Female!Reader

Warnings: Cavity inducing fluff, slight cursing, bit more angst in this chapter

Part: 3/??, Read more here

Description: Reader and her friend take a trip to Walt Disney World and happen to run into one Chris Evans while waiting in line to board Space Mountain. To pass the time you decide to play the game “Head’s Up.” From pop culture references, flirty looks and Chris being his silly flirty self, you never thought waiting in a line could be so much fun. But the Disney magic has to end eventually…doesn’t it?

Author’s Note: This chapter tends to lean a little more heartwarming than previous, but I want reader and Chris to explore their connection. But, also Star Lord is a favorite of mine so I had to play with his character. Y/N = Your Name, Y/F/N = Your Friend’s Name

Word Count: 5.9k

“So what did he say when you told him?” Y/F/N and you were browsing the mug wall in Mickeys of Hollywood while Chris took a phone call outside the store. Fantasmic was in two hours and you were killing time until the show.

You set down a coffee mug with an intricate Ariel sketching you’d been holding and side eyed her. “It wasn’t so much what he said, but how he said it. This is going to be so much more difficult than I planned. He’s just so,” you paused searching for the right word to describe the pull you felt for him, “so magnetic.” You shook your head to clear it. “That’s cliche, right?”

You chuckled and reached for the red and blue patterned Mushu mug within your grasp that you’d been eyeing all day to give your hands something to fiddle with.

Y/F/N shrugged as she scanned the wall, “Probably, but he does have a certain magnetism about him. It’s part of what makes him a great actor, I guess. And the fact that he comes off very genuine. He’s willing to do the whole friendship test thing, though?”

“Friendship trial. And yes. Although, he seemed a bit disappointed when I pitched it.”

“Well, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say he probably hasn’t heard the word ‘no’ from women to often.” She laughed looking over at you. “It’s just you who’s crazy enough to make him work for it.”

You blushed and hurriedly turned to another section of the wall. “It’s not like that. I just don’t want to rush things.”

“Why though?” she prodded you, knowing all to well you were trying to hide the truth again.

You sighed and absentmindedly ran your hands along the row of mugs. “I know I’ve just met him but, I- I have this feeling, crazy as it is, or as I may be, that this could be something great. But, if I’m just a fling or a-” you shuddered at the thought, “or, God forbid, a pity distraction that he’ll forget about once he’s back in Hollywood, then I don’t want to get attached.” You swallowed the lump that grew in your throat while you spoke. “It’ll only hurt more when he leaves.” You took a deep cleansing breath. It was quite freeing finally telling her your real worries about this madness.

Y/F/N touched your shoulder softly and gave a sympathetic smile. “I saw the way he looked at you this morning, you’re not a fling and you are no one’s distraction. I think the fact that he’s willing to do things your way means he genuinely cares about you. Plus, it’s good to put him through his paces a little. Makes sure that Boston boy knows you’re not someone to mess with.” She smirked and went look through the trading pin racks.

You smiled at her words and followed along. She always knew how to ease your fears. You didn’t know what you’d do without her. “Oh, I think he’s already seen I can handle my own, but he doesn’t make it easy. I about turned into a puddle at his feet earlier.” You laughed and hugged the Mushu cup closer in embarrassment at the memory.

She grinned devilishly, “It’s definitely going to be fun to see you try to hold back from him all week. You’ve wanted to jump his bones for years.”

 You swatted her arm as you tried and failed to hide your grin.

“It’s true!” She said loudly, “You don’t expect me to believe you’ll be able to hold out from taking full advantage of that superhero body, do you? I give it three days, tops.”

“Stop it!” You shushed her while trying to hold back laughter. “I don’t know why I’m friends with you sometimes.”

“Because you love me.” You stuck your tongue out at her and she giggled, “And he did say he does all his own fingering…”

Your mouth dropped, “Oh my God, I can’t with you!” You ducked your head in embarrassment as you started walking to the t-shirts on the other side of the store to get away from her teasing.

“And that he could do it all day!” she shouted after you. A few heads turned towards her as you walked past.

“Done!” You yelled back.

“Done with what?”

You turned to see a charmingly confused Chris sliding his phone into his pocket by the side doorway.

You blushed, “Done shopping, I meant.”

He smiled and motioned to the mug in your hand, “You going to buy that or are you trying to make a quick getaway?”

“Quick getaway, but apparently I’m not quick enough.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that, you stole my heart pretty quickly,” his eyes widened in amusement and his mouth opened in a ta-da grin. That was possibly the cheesiest line you’d ever heard, but coming from him it was a little endearing.

“Wowww,” you drew out with a disbelieving laugh, “Proud of that one are you?”

“I’d say so, yeah,” he beamed, clearly pleased with himself.

You patted his bicep with a sympathetic nod, “Don’t quit your day job, sweetie.”

He threw his head back as though wounded and grabbed his chest in mock hurt, “Ouch, what a way to cut a man, Y/N.”

“You’ll live,” you chuckled as you made your way to the register. You asked the cast member to send the mug back to the hotel for pick up tomorrow and as she went wrap it, Chris leaned his tall frame against the counter next to you.

“And I thought you said no cute couple names. So eager to break the rules already, babe?” he taunted with a dark glint in his eyes. You gulped at the intensity of his gaze. He wasn’t touching you, but if you moved a few centimeters to the left you would be pressed flush against him. If he’d only move a little closer…

Suddenly, the realization of his precise placement hit you. He was respecting the rules of the friendship trial, but making it clear you could break them any time you wanted. The idea was more than tempting. Your knees got weak at the memory of his words from earlier, ’you don’t have to kiss to be intimate.’ Jesus, the way he could go from a goofy meatball one minute to a fucking sex god the next was frustrating as hell.

 Before you could respond, the worker returned and you finished paying. Chris coughed and pushed off the counter, tugging his hat down to hide his face. He was still centimeters away, but he made no move to close the distance. You thanked the cast member and accepted the receipt before turning the opposite direction of Chris to find Y/F/N. You thought back to your earlier worries and quickly got control of your hormones. The friendship trial was a good idea.

You spotted her still checking out the pins and started weaving through the racks towards her.

“So, what’s our next stop?” Chris asked, following behind you.

“We could go grab a bite to eat?” You suggested reaching Y/F/N.

She shrugged with a frown, “I’m still kind of full from lunch right now. What about Star Lord and Baby Groot? We haven’t met them or any of the Star Wars characters yet. And Quill was your number one meet on this trip during planning.” She hid her smirk as you started walking out of the store and into the busy street.

You spluttered as Chris raised an eyebrow appraisingly, “I was- he was not- for Baby Groot not-Captain America s’my favorite.” You clamped your mouth shut and felt your cheeks blazing red, and not from the sun.

He chuckled quietly as you made your way past the Chinese Theater.

“Aw I’m going to miss Great Movie Ride,” you lamented, effectively changing the subject.

“Yeah, it was a classic, if a little outdated.” He looked wistfully at the tall red pillars that flanked the entrance to the now closed ride.

“Indiana Jones was my favorite set on it.”

“Mine too!” He said excitedly. “Snakes. Why’d it have to be snakes?” He quoted, dropping his voice into a gruff scratchy tone that did oddly sound like Harrison Ford.

“Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.” You quoted back doing your own best Indy impression, which only made him laugh harder.

“It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.” And although he affectionately chucked you on the chin, you had to admit that line sent shivers down your spine with the way he drawled out the words.

The moment was quickly squashed as he pointed dramatically at a random trashcan and shouted, “That belongs in a museum!”

“You guys are such nerds,” Y/F/N sighed, rolling her eyes. She gripped her bag and skipped down the steps of Animation Courtyard.

“You there! Halt!” a robotic voice shouted from behind you. Your heart pounded as you froze in fear wondering what the hell you all did to be shouted at. Chris had both his hands up in surrender near his face and you met his eyes in worry before he peeked over his shoulder.

He let out a loud laugh of relief and dropped his hands. You hesitated for a second before quickly turning your head to see why he was no longer in defense mode.

The sight that met your eyes had you internally cringing in embarrassment at the fact that you very much thought you were about to be banned from Disney World forever. The only thing you were in danger of though was pissing off the first order.

Two stormtroopers were your assailants.

“Don’t be alarmed!” one said as they neared you. They wore the full white and black stormtrooper armor along with the voice masking modulator.

“Too late for that dude,” Y/F/N said, taking a step back nervously.

“Careful citizen, there are resistance fighters in the area,” one walked up extremely close to Chris and eyed him up and down.

A crowd was beginning to form as they watched the troopers. It wasn’t like they were hard to miss. You saw Chris reflexively tense and his chest began to rise and fall rapidly at the close proximity of both the stormtrooper and the encroaching crowd. He glanced at you with a complete look of helplessness. You felt a sudden surge of protectiveness flood through your body. You knew his fear was more from the crowd than the cast member, but you had to get him out of there. You glanced around to Y/F/N as an idea struck.

She was watching the interaction and frowned as she saw Chris’s impending anxiety attack. She looked to you for guidance as you motioned your head from her to Chris and over to the entrance of The Little Mermaid show, aka ‘get Chris and get him out of here.’ She nodded in understanding.

“The resistance is closer than you think,” you said fiercely, playing along so the attention would shift to you so Chris and Y/F/N could move a little more out of sight of the crowd. The trooper turned to you and moved into your personal space. They towered over you, but up close they weren’t very intimidating. This could be fun.

“Let me see your identification,” the robotic voice commanded.

“Best damn pilot in the galaxy ring any bells?” You cocked an eyebrow and crossed your arms smoothly. The crowd whooped at the reference and you saw Y/F/N and Chris slip safely into the shade of the building.

The trooper stepped back in shock as he tapped his friend on the shoulder and pointed at you, “Captain Phasma will hear about this.” They were very good at conveying emotions even though their faces were covered.

“Be sure to tell her Finn says hello,” you smiled knowingly. A small girl in a Rey costume clapped and gave a loud “ohh.”

“The first order will be victorious!”

“Never tell me the odds.” The small crowd cheered as you stared down the duo. The surge of adrenaline in you veins was intoxicating as you faced down the first order.

As they began to move away to continue their patrol, the Stormtrooper who originally confronted Chris pointed his index and middle finger first at his eyes and then towards you as he said, “I’m watching you.”

You tilted your chin defiantly, “Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them.”

The crowd began to disperse as you watched them interact with the small Rey from earlier who was shooting daggers with a venomous glare their way. You grinned and turned to find Chris and Hayleigh walking back towards you.

“That was awesome!” she squealed grabbing your upper arms and shaking you in excitement. You giggled at her overzealousness. You felt Chris’s eyes on you and the familiar blush started rising on your neck. “I’ve never seen you like that before. The way you just stood up to them as they came at Chris. You were incredible!”

  “We should probably hurry before the Star Lord meet closes,” you mumbled sheepishly shrugging off her compliments in embarrassment.

You resumed the walk down Pixar Place towards the “One Man’s Dream” building where the Star-Lord and Baby Groot meet and greet were held and as you finally reached the building Y/F/N wandered off to check out the displays further in.

You and Chris fell into step and slowly took in the exhibit. Standing in front of an old sketch of the Disneyland castle in California, you could feel the warmth from Chris’ tall frame next to you even though you weren’t touching him. You turned slightly to see him examining the artwork with a small frown on his forehead from concentration. You watched him fondly as he mouthed the words while reading the plaque next to the picture.

You smiled. You liked it when he was close. It felt comforting in a way that was hard to describe. For all the puppy like energy and flirty remarks you knew he had in him, he also possessed a very calming presence that was nice to have nearby.

“You know, I’ve always thought Steve Rogers has some Indiana Jones tendencies,” you mused, interrupting his train of thought. He raised his eyebrows questioningly as you began to ramble your reasoning, “Well, both fight for the little guys. Both put theirselves in unnecessary dangers. And they’re both good men who don’t hesitate to fight for what’s right when the time comes. Growing up watching Indiana Jones is why I think I immediately loved Steve Rogers so much. They’re a lot alike.”

“…And both hate Nazis.” Chris bit his plump bottom lip as he thought over the theory before nodding in agreement, “I’ve never thought about Cap that way, but you’re right. That’s so cool. I love how passionate you are about things like that. It’s really beautiful.”

“Wow, uh, thanks,” you said stunned. “That’s the first time anyone’s ever told me something like that.” You ducked your head in embarrassment.

He nudged your shoulder as you continued walking “You deserve to hear it.” He eyed you over with a calculating look, “Because it’s true. You’re a very honest person who says what’s on your mind. I try to be like that but, with my job…” He trailed off lost in thought and sighed. He nervously tugged his hat again, “Most people are always pretending to be someone they’re not to impress others. It’s hard to know when someone is being genuine with me because of my job. It’s refreshing to meet someone who isn’t afraid to let others see their truth.”

“Trust me, I sometimes wish my mouth would listen to my brain before blurting out whatever passes through it. I’m usually more truthful when I’m nervous, or tipsy.” You giggled as he let out a loud laugh.

“Thanks for that earlier,” Chris whispered quietly enough for only you to hear, passing through a group. You looked over to him in confusion. His long fingers grazed your arm affectionately, “I know you stood up to that Stormtrooper for me. To let me get away from the crowd. And I’m grateful you did.” He clasped your hand tightly trying to convey the words he couldn’t say. “You’re very brave.”

“I’m not brave,” You scoffed, shrugging off his words. He was probably just being nice. “You. You’re brave. You have criticism and hate thrown at you on a daily basis from complete strangers who feel they have a right to your life and still stay kind and down to earth and do what you do. That’s bravery.”

He shook his head turning to fully stare at you. His eyes seemed to have a sadness to them in this moment that you’d never seen in them before, “Being brave isn’t just about the face you show to the world, you know. Someone who saves the world isn’t any braver than a kid who choses to enter a talent show that they think they’ll lose or asking the person you like out for the first time. Bravery is about choosing to do the thing you fear. No matter how small. Being brave is living.”

You cast your eyes down, intimated by the intensity in his gaze. You’d never thought of it that way. You supposed when you grow up thinking that bravery is something reserved for superheroes and firefighters you forget that the small things make us brave, too. Even you. Without letting you talk yourself out of it, you looped your arm through Chris’. He looked down in shock, but didn’t pull away.   

“Just trying to be a little braver,” you said with a small smile. His eyes sparkled and he mirrored your smile as he tucked your hand into the crook of his arm and placed his other hand over it.

You continued through the exhibit until you reached the entrance for the meet and greet. The room was designed to look like space. The walls had moving galaxies projected onto them that looked like you were entering from the outside of a spaceship to the inside. The floor had silver arrows doing weird zigzags to direct people the way the line was supposed to flow. Y/F/N waved you over near the front and you both hurriedly made your way over to her, apologizing to the others you had to squeeze through.

“You know, today, I feel like Indiana Jones.” He said holding his hands up into the shape of a heart with a cheesy smile. “Because you are the treasure I’m looking for.”

“How many of those do you have?” You laughed.

“Follow me,” the cast member said motioning to your group.

“I guess you’re going to have to find out,” he winked as you made your way into what looked like a spaceship’s workshop. You were all ushered into the corner of the room to wait your turn behind two families.

“Thanks for holding our spot,” you quickly whispered to Y/F/N.

 “You’re lucky you showed up when you did or else I was going to get Quill all to myself,” she grinned.

As one family finished up and the next moved forward, you gasped. Baby Groot was quite possibly the cutest thing you had ever seen in your life. And, you had to admit, Star Lord wasn’t bad himself.

“You know if this thing doesn’t work out with Chris, Star Lord seems like a good alternative,” Y/F/N whispered, echoing your thoughts. You heard Chris huff in annoyance behind you both.

“You can put your bags down here,” the attendant motioned over to the wall on the left. Y/F/N and you hurriedly took off your bags and set them down on the floor. She adjusted her ears as you turned around to see Star Lord walking over.

“Well, hey there!” His loud voice singsonged. He held out his arms for a hug, which you eagerly obliged to. He wrapped you in his leather clad embrace in a tight bear hug that made you giggle. He even smelled good. He slung an arm around your waist and walked you over to the work station where Baby Groot was standing. He jokingly made a ‘stay’ motion with both hands before returning for Y/F/N. You beamed. You could already tell this was going to be a great character interaction.

You noticed Chris had followed and was not so subtly glaring after the actor with his arms tightly crossed. He wasn’t jealous, was he? You nudged his side playfully, “Be cool, Evans.” He glanced down at you with a frown. “He’s not Hemsworth, remember.” You gave a teasing smile.

He took another moment to pout before giving in and chuckling. “Hemsworth is much prettier,” he stated as Y/F/N and Star Lord made their way over, chatting amicably.

“I am Groot!” You heard a tiny voice on the left say, and Chris and you both turned to stare down at Baby Groot, who looked extremely life like.

“Hi Groot!” You said excitedly, “How are you?”

“I am Groot. I am Groot!” the little tree said with a smile moving his small head back and forth in a conversational manner.

“Ah, do you speak tree, too?” Star Lord asked you, coming up beside you.

“Only a few phrases,” you joked.

“I would have though those large ears on your heads would be translators.” He pointed to you and Y/F/N’s Mickey ears.

You laughed and reached up to touch the Captain America ears. “No these just help me track superheroes,” you said as Chris chuckled.

“So that must be how you found me!” Star Lord said with a smug smile. “Either that or Rocket’s been messing with the ship’s navigation again. Because I am way to good to be caught.”

“I am Groot!” Groot shouted in a offended voice.

“I don’t want to hear it Groot, you know Rocket’s taken the ship apart for less,” he fussed back at the tiny tree.

You beamed. This guy was fantastic!

“By the way,” Peter said suddenly, clapping a hand on Chris’s shoulder, startling him, “has anyone ever told you, you look like a buddy of mine who goes by the name of Captain America?”

Your eyes widened in surprise as Chris exploded in laughter. He gripped Peter’s shoulder leaning into him and grabbed at his chest as though this was the funniest joke he’d ever heard. You saw the cast members giggling knowingly in your direction as they watched the interaction while the photographer snapped away with pic after pic. Your mouth matched Y/F/N’s amused grin as your eyes flicked back and forth between the two of them waiting to see what Chris would do.

“You know, I have heard that a time or two. He and I are really close though, you could almost say we’re the same person,” Chris wiped a tear from his eye, “but he’s totally more handsome than me.”

Peter narrowed his eyes appraisingly before clasping Chris on both arms and squeezing his biceps as though sizing him up. He was Chris’s height, which made the situation that much funnier.

He nodded his head in agreement, “Yeah, you’re definitely smaller.”

You snorted and quickly covered your mouth as Chris stuck his tongue out at you. You lifted your hands in a ‘it was funny, what do you want me to do’ manner.

“Hopefully not where it counts, am I right,” Peter nudged you suggestively.

Oh my God. Did he just? Your brain short circuited for a hot second before you leaned on Y/F/N in support as you both doubled over, unable to hold back your roaring laughter. This was now officially the best character interaction you’d ever had. This actor is definitely channeling his inner Chris Pratt and you were living for it. Chris’s jaw dropped in amused outrage.

“That’s cold!” He shook his head with a huff. “And here I thought we were friends Quill!” He crossed his well defined arms with a pointed look in your direction, “I’ll have you know, there’s nothing about me that’s small, muscles or otherwise.”

“That’s what they all say,” Peter loudly whispered in you and Y/F/N’s direction.

“I am Groot!” Groot pronounced.

“Yes, you’re right Groot, I’m being mean.” He gave a sorrowful nod to Chris, “I’m sorry Cap clone. You’re the perfect super soldier size just the way you are. But if you do see the real Stevie can you ask him if I can still be an Avenger? I even have a few mixtapes all ready for our battle intro. Although I’m torn between Danger Zone and Eye of the Tiger.”

You smiled, “But Fight For Your Right would make an epic montage.”

He nodded enthusiastically, “Oh, that is going on the list!” He motioned to the cast members, “Please write Fight For Your Right down for Gamora to add to my music rectangle. But don’t let Drax know, or else he’ll want to add those wailing gorilla sounds again he called galaxy instrumentals.”

“I am Groot,” Groot said sadly and Peter shuddered.

“Yeah, they were pretty bad.” He clapped his hands and beamed, “So I guess you guys want a photo with the one and only Star Lord?”

“Yes, please!” Y/F/N said excitedly.

She rushed to stand under his right arm as you moved over to his left. You all shifted so Groot would be in the shot. He smiled as Chris’s hand slid across your back to your hip where he lightly held onto you. You could feel its weight and were suddenly struck by just how large his hands were on your body. You forced yourself to breath and give a relaxed smile for the camera as a clicking sound went off a few times.

“Oh, could we do one where we’re ‘in love’ with you while Chris crosses his arms pouting?” You recalled a similar convention photo like this with Chris and Sebastian and always thought it was cute. Considering the interaction you’d had with Star Lord, you thought it would be a fun photo.

“Absolutely!” Peter enthused as Chris chuckled but got willingly into position for the photo.

Y/F/N and you both lightly grabbed onto Peter’s jacket in over exaggerated awe as he cocked an eyebrow with a smug smile in Chris’s direction.

“Thank you so much,” you gushed.

“Aww, anything for my fans,” Peter said giving you another tight bear hug, before doing the same to Y/F/N as you and Chris walked over to scan your magic bands to claim the photos.

“You guys were really cute,” the cast member held out the scanner. “Thank you for coming!”

Peter saluted as you waved goodbye and made your way into the makeshift Guardians of the Galaxy gift shop that was set up outside the exit.

“That. Was. Amazing!” You squealed grabbing Chris’s bicep in excitement. “By far my favorite character meet ever!”

“He was so freaking hot,” Y/F/N all but moaned trying to peek back into the room before you pulled her unwillingly away.

“He was alright,” Chris muttered clearly annoyed.

“Don’t be jealous, Evans, it doesn’t suit you,” she teased as you started back through the exhibit hall.

“I am not jealous.” Chris pouted angrily, but you could see a faint redness cover his ears. You smirked. He was totally jealous and it was adorable.

You checked the time on your phone and gasped. “Oh shit, we have to go guys. The show is going to start in 45 minutes. We need to make sure we get good seats.”

You quickly made your way towards the entrance for the long walk to Fantasmic. It seemed the rest of the park was heading there, too. The crowd pressed the three of you together as you got closer in a semi-shuffle. Out of habit, you reflexively grabbed Y/F/N and Chris’s hands so no one would get separated in the onslaught of humanity. He raised an eyebrow amused at your parental move. 

“Sorry, I just didn’t want you to disappear,” you laughed nervously.

He shifted his hand to lace his fingers in yours and rubbed small circles on the back of your hand with the pad of his thumb, “Never.”

You made your way into the arena and your breath caught as you stared at the tall cliffs and lights where the show would take place. It was stunning and it wasn’t even lit up yet. Everyone was ushered to the mid left of the stadium style seating and in a row about half way up the bottom of the section. Y/F/N dropped your hand as you all sat down. Chris unlaced your fingers in a silent ‘this isn’t part of the rules’ gesture. You sighed and pulled away but could still feel the ghost of his thumb on the back of your hand. You missed its warmth.

As though the Disney overlords heard your plea, a cast member called out to your section, “Would everyone please stand up and move to the left. Please move down to the end of the row and fill all available space.”

As one, everyone scooted over as much as possible until your thighs and the upper half of your body was pressed tightly between your best friend and Chris freaking Evans.

You leaned forward from your cramped position to see if there was a bit of room by Chris for him to move over a little. There was a person size gap on Chris’s right that his neighbor hadn’t filled, but he’d purposely gotten as close as physically possible. You could already hear his excuse, ‘they said all the way to the left’ and blushed. He wanted to be close to you.

You sat back as giddiness threatened to overtake your senses. He had to though, you logically argued with yourself. They specifically said ‘fill all available space,’ that’s all there is to it. It would be very rude of you to have him move over to take up more space when that could very well be needed by other people. It was the right thing to do. Totally not self-serving in the least…

You noticed Y/F/N scoot a few more centimeters over into the tiny empty space she’d left herself to give you more room. She motioned with her head that you could stretch out a bit more if you wanted, but you gave a curt shake of your head ‘no.’ She looked down to where you were pressed against Chris’s side and gave a cheshire cat worthy grin before turning back to the stage as the lights dimmed and the show started.

...

“So, where should we meet up tomorrow morning?” Chris asked, munching on a pretzel as you all sat on the ground eating your snacks in front of the Chinese theater, waiting for the crowds to ease up after Fantasmic. The show was just as incredible as you remembered.

“We have a breakfast reservation at Chef Mickey’s at 8:30 a.m., if you’d like to come?” You ventured hopefully, swallowing a large gulp of your drink. “I’m sure it’s ok if we add one person to the reservation.”

“That’ll work. Plus, then I can get the rundown on what the plans for the week are,” he said taking another bite.

“When are your meetings?” Y/F/N asked from his other side. “This way we can try to plan around them.” She dusted the churro sugar off of her hands as Chris chewed slowly contemplating his answer.

“Uh, well, they’re, uh,” his fingers fidgeted with the paper his pretzel was wrapped in. “They’re mostly early morning, like before 6 a.m., timezones and stuff you know, and they, uh, shouldn’t last more than a half hour.”

Your face scrunched up in confusion, “Why would they make you stay for half hour meetings? That seems kind of inconvenient and unnecessary.”

He shrugged, “Dunno. I just go where Marvel tells me.”

“Oh Marvel, huh?” Y/F/N questioned mischievously. “Anything to do with Infinity War, perhaps?”

“Now you know if I tell you, I’ll have to kill you,” he sneakily looked around, “they have snipers everywhere.”

“I’ll take that as a yes, then,” she said, smiling smugly. “But we should probably leave. We have an early morning tomorrow and it’s getting late.”

You nodded in agreement. It was late. But after the show, you’d gotten a bite to eat and had a good time chatting as the park died down. It was nice.

You all stood and threw the trash. You looked around at all of the lit neon signs. “Disney parks at closing are always so nostalgic, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, they have this vibe of leaving and coming home at the same time, like-” Chris mused as you strolled under the bright signs.

“Like, they’ll always be here to welcome you back,” you finished knowing how he felt.

“Exactly,” he smiled.

You walked through the closed turnstiles and bid the cast members good night.

“You guys staying at Grand Floridian, too?” Chris asked as you approached the bus board to find your number. 

Y/F/N and you burst out laughing as you started walking again.

“What?” Chris asked bemused.

“We’re at Port Orleans Riverside, which was enough of a splurge,” you laughed. “Not everyone has superhero dollars, ya know.” You joked as Chris looked down embarrassed.

“I didn’t mean-“

“I know,” you smiled saving him from further humiliation. “Grand Floridian is a bucket list goal, but not one I’ll be pursuing anytime soon.”

He nodded appraisingly, “I’d like to know what else is on your bucket list.”

“You were one,” Y/F/N mumbled quietly, as you elbowed her in the side. She groaned and rubbed the spot glaring back. You hoped Chris hadn’t heard her, but he didn’t even try to hide his beaming smile as your resort bus pulled up.

“The bus AC calls me like a siren song and I must go to her,” Y/F/N called over her shoulder with a wave. “Later Chris!”

Chris and you laughed.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow morning then,” he said walking you to the door.

“Tomorrow,” you echoed, not wanting the first day to end.

Chris moved forward to run his fingers down your face before catching himself and pulling back with a sad smile, “Goodbye Y/N.”

“Bye Chris.”

You made your way down the relatively empty bus as it began to move. You sat in the seat across from Y/F/N and stretched out for the ride back to the resort as your phone dinged. You tiredly pulled it out to see a text from Chris. As you read his message, you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face.

I’m glad I’m on your list…

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jackblankhsh · 6 years ago

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Why I Quit -- Santa’s Elf

"In my Mom's rendition, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer eventually goes on a rampage, beating elves to death with his hooves, and disemboweling reindeer with his antlers. As for Santa, well, lemme just say ho-ho-holy shit. Thing is I can't help thinking she taught me the right & wrong lesson with her variation.

"Allow me to elaborate.

"Nothing motivates a person to grasp at any job like a looming eviction that'll cast one out into Chicago winter. It is a wicked season. Polar bears stalk the streets. Great glacial mounds dot the city wherever the homeless, huddled together for warmth, have frozen into human icebergs. And always there those driven mad by cabin fever who turn into winter banshees, their screams echoing down the icy streets.

"Call me a coward, but I've lived here long enough to know better than risk Winter on the streets. So, following the word of a grape vine bird, I went to the Brick House Diner. There I found Chari chowing down on a burrito.

"Chari is a queen in the skin grift game commonly known as stripping, though she prefers the term gash flasher. Folks often misperceive Chari, given that she spells 'Cherry' C-H-A-R-I; however, she's certainly innovative. Consider how she alters her act for holidays. Around Easter she dances as Bunny, near the Fourth of July she's Booty Ross, and close to Giftmas she's Mary Christmas -- 'merry' spelled M-A-R-Y.

"We met at a bachelor party. When the groom asked if Chari might be inclined to acts other than sexy dancing she rewarded those hooker implications by performing an act of surra de bunda so severe it broke his nose and gave him a concussion. Always respect a woman who can use her butt as a wrecking ball.

"After the usual chit-chat kindling we fired up the real conversation.

'I heard you know about a job.'

"She nodded, 'You know I pick up all kindsa stuff. Guys think they're impressing me, or some shit. Can't complain though. My stock portfolio is crazy good.'

"Fishing in her purse she produced a pamphlet. Passing it across she said, 'I think the guy who gave me this was thinking like save the stripper, or whatever.'

"I chuckled, 'The ol' respectable job angle.'

"She smirked, 'Like I'll be so grateful I'ma just have to suck his dick.'

"I said, 'Well, as a man, I can say we're raised with the grateful BJ delusion.'

"She rolled her eyes, 'Oh please, you believe it because you want it to be true. Ain't no different than Jesus saves.'

"Glancing over the pamphlet I said, 'Speaking of grateful oral...'

"She said, 'Don't be getting ideas. This is me paying you back. That bachelor party was gonna kill me. Besides.' She smirked, 'I think you'll be an adorable elf.'

"The next day I found myself in the beige office of a mall manager in Niles. After introducing myself we stared at each other in silence for well over a minute. I think he kept expecting to pull off my face, revealing Chari beneath a mask, and his pornographic fantasies of gratitude would come to life.

"Finally, playing off that note, I said, 'So about this job, Chari said I'd be a good fit.'

"He nodded, 'It's not hard. Tricky part is whether you like kids. You like kids?'

"A few years back I attended a family gathering. The three year old crotch fruit I'm supposed to call my nephew got to its feet. The whole family cheering it on my brother's rat child started baby-staggering towards me. Arms spread wide it giggled. Leaping off the couch I shouted, 'Not today Satan!' and punted it across the room. (I may've been drinking.)

"As such, I informed the manager, 'I know how to handle kids.'

'Okay. Let's get your costume.'

"I shuddered. Though aware of this aspect of the job I didn't look forward to it. I've often had vivid nightmares about a sweaty Walt Disney furiously masturbating to forlorn actors sadly donning the mouse costume.

"The manager said, 'Follow me.'

"He led the way through a network of halls behind the shops taking us to a locker room. While he searched for a box containing my costume I waved to a maintenance worker in overalls.

"The maintenance guy said, 'What they rope you into doin'?'

'Elf.'

"He grimaced, 'You let me know when you wanna die. I'll kill ya. Did it for the last guy. Least I can do, ya poor bastard.'

"Right away, I liked him.

"The manager returned carrying a battered cardboard box. Handing it over he said, 'Put this on then go to the middle of the mall. Santa's there. You can't miss it.'

"Opening the box I sighed heavily. Inside I found red tights, a green short sleeved shirt, and a red and white striped long sleeve shirt as well as a pointy green cap, and a set of fake points for my ears. Everything smelled like diseased feet, and the points felt like uncooked chicken. Yet, I soon found myself transformed into an elf.

"Walking the mall is like roaming the belly of a beached whale. The labored breathes of certain patrons even helps conjure a vivid image of the leviathan struggling to breath as its own weight crushes it out of existence. Meanwhile, despite everything in a state of slow decay, creeping towards death, delusions of survival abound like the leather store believing yalmukes will save the dying retailer, or the lingerie shop's unsettling new line of preteen thongs. Like dynamiting a beached whale it would be merciful to burn this place down.

"I spotted the ersatz Santa village long before I reached it. It appeared to be constructed on a budget of zero fucks, and discarded pizza boxes. Buildings, particularly Santa's workshop, stood so crooked they must've been constructed by a German expressionist. In front of it all sat Santa, enthroned on a thrift store recliner spray painted gold.

"Next to him stood a perky albino asparagus who introduced himself as, 'Todd.'

"Santa introduced himself as Santa.

"I said, 'I see we're going method.'

Todd beamed, 'If it makes the kiddies happy that's cool.' If he smiled any wider his head would've come out his mouth.

Slapping a nicotine patch on Santa said, 'Lez do dis.'

"And so it began... a job that made me want to smoke heroin out of a shotgun, get a nice double barrel overdose going.

"Later, unprompted, Santa said, 'Been doin' this job fer-fuckin'-ever. Started when my bitch wife took off with the kids, and I was missing children, which is something never thought I'd say. So I was like, "Mall Santa!"'

'Why'd she leave?' I asked.

"He shrugged, 'I's fucking our neighbor, and that asshole got it in his head I wanted him to kill her. So there was this whole misunderstanding. Oh, hold up.'

"Todd lifted an approaching child into Santa's lap. The kid stared in wide eyed wonder.

"'Hello little boy!' Santa said, 'What do you want for Christmas?'

'I wanna thister.'

'Then send us your mom,' I said.

"Santa choked down a laugh. He told the kid he'd see what he could do, but if there was anything else, say a toy of some kind... but the boy insisted on a sister.

"Todd snapped the kid's photo with a digital camera. Then I helped the boy down. Delivering him back to his parents I asked if they wanted to buy the photo. Like most they declined having already snapped pics with smart phones like the cheap bastards they are. The same way they used Santa as a scapegoat, blaming him when they couldn't afford gifts for their kids.

"So it went, eight hours a day for the next twelve days.

"Occasionally packs of mallrats tried to storm Santa's village. This usually involved Goth kids screaming about Krampus. We kept giant fake candy canes at the ready, and though bludgeoning teenagers is always a perk, it made the job feel worse afterward. Those battles sent me to such dizzying heights the drop back to reality felt like orbital skydiving -- too much time to fully consider the fall.

"Todd, on the other hand, possessed a mystifying ability to always smile. After one fight he said, 'That young fella had some skills. Good for him.'

I said, 'Maybe next time he'll kill you.'

'Then he'll be a winner!' Todd said. Watching him bandage himself with wrapping paper and gauze, I considered stealing a pinch; suspecting I could get a cheery high sucking on Todd's bloody gauze.

"But most days belonged to managing the slow procession of beaming children accompanied by bored adults lobotomized by parenthood.

"In the locker room one night a gruff voice asked, 'You wanna die?'

"Startled I leapt forward bouncing hard off my locker. Spinning around I found the maintenance guy standing directly behind me.

"I said, 'Not yet. Things are okay... I guess.'

"He nodded, 'When you're ready, say the word. You won't even know I'm coming. Just.' He snapped his fingers, 'Lights outs.'

'I don't doubt it,' I replied, 'Hey, I'm just here until I've got enough to buy a gun. Then I can rob a bank like someone who still has their dignity.'

'Like Todd,' he said.

"Todd having dignity proved hard for me to swallow. For instance, his frog eyed crotch stared down kids all day, and despite even the most direct statements he never did a thing about his huge man-el toe. Yet, it does take a stalwart individual to be so... Todd. Like physics, and voluntary celibacy, optimists have never made sense to me. Despite whatever obvious negativity I sent his way Todd remained a prince of the bright side. Some days my only motivation for work orbited some contrived scheme to break Todd's smile, yet I slowly began enjoying his immutable nature -- the seemingly eternal persistence of his mood.

"The maintenance guy's words echoing in mind, I started seeing Todd in a new light. Instead of a silver lining seeking lunatic I started seeing a young man impervious to the world's woes. Of course, I harbored doubts. Perhaps in private he metamorphosed into a snarling bitter dick, a speculation I held on to until one fateful day.

"Close to the end of work we let our guard down. We each wanted to go home for our own reasons. Santa had been peed on four times; it being payday meant I was anxious to get my drink on; and Todd wanted to hurry home to make a gingerbread house for his grandma. We didn't notice the circling, growing Krampus kult clad in black... until it was too late.

"A wiry teen jumped atop the phone case kiosk.

"Holding high an ornate, impractical dagger he bellowed, 'Death to the red lie!'

"And then the stygian tsunami came from all directions. Surrounded, we didn't stand a chance. Still, we fought the good fight. At one point I frantically threw children at the legion of incoming Goths, bowling them over. Santa put on a pair of reindeer antlers, and charged into the swarm head first. Anytime I saw a piercing I grabbed it, and pulled hard as I could.

"About to be overwhelmed I shouted, 'Robert Smith is dead.' As the swarm paused to check their phones I used that as our chance to flee.

"Grabbing Santa I said, 'We gotta go!'

'Ho-ho-hold up,' he stammered, 'Where's Todd?'

"I saw him lying face down. Shoving Santa to kick start his exodus, I hurried over. Scooping up Todd I fireman carried him back to the locker room where I dropped him unceremoniously on the ground.

"Gasping, I declared for the millionth time in my life, 'I gotta quit smoking.'

"Then I noticed a pool of blood spreading from Todd. Rolling him over revealed a set of pentagram themed shuriken stuck in his back. It didn't look good. Also, it's entirely possible when I dropped him I may have inadvertently driven them deeper into Todd.

"Kneeling beside him I lied, 'You're going to be okay.'

"Todd said, 'As long as the kids are happy.'

"Then he died. Smiling. Later I watched the maintenance guy mop up his blood, erasing what was left of Todd, save for a vague stain on the locker room floor. The next day I arrived to find a doughy guy in the locker room struggling into the elf costume. It'd been washed, but there were still holes in the back.

"Wrestling with the tights the guy said, 'This fuckin' shit better be worth it.'

"Seeing that sourness, I told the new guy, 'When you the manager come around, tell him I quit.'

"Chicago winter isn't the worst thing in the world... like Rudolph, Todd was born with a gift people didn't appreciate until they needed it. To see him replaced so easily, well, frankly your honor, that's why I burned down the mall."

#writing #fiction #shortstory #short story #surreal #weird #whyiquit #honestyisnotcontagious #elf #santa #holiday #christmas #giftmas #writer

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disnerdkatie · 5 years ago

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Continuing the saga of Katie’s First Trip To Disney In Fourteen Months! Yesterday I talked about our trip through Thursday, so today I’ll cover Friday to home.

As is the key theme for a runDisney weekend, I was up way, way too early. I think I “slept in” until almost 3:00 a.m. for the 10K. Yeah. Only at a runDisney event would 2:53 a.m. be considered “sleeping in”! But it was fine, I made it to the staging area just in time to join Nikki and Lisa in line to see Sporty Mickey. Uhh… I’m sure he has a name that doesn’t make him sound like an honorary member of the Spice Girls, but whatever. He was sporty Mickey. Even though it was crazy early, the race went well enough. I was worried because it was during the 10K a couple years ago that my knee went out, but no issue this race!

After the race, and after I showered, Michael and I headed back to the expo to grab some visors for the half and full, and to look at the official runDisney merch when it hopefully wasn’t so crowded. We had reservations at Beaches & Cream at noon, but it was early enough that we weren’t worried about taking bus transportation. And in fact, we got to Beaches & Cream a full half hour early!

Now… normally I’d spend a whole post writing a review, and I still might for Our Disney, but I’m just gonna rant here for a minute. This was the absolute worst dining experience I have ever had in a dozen years of Disney vacations. First off, we got there a solid 30 minutes early, and once we checked in we went over to the wall less than 10 feet away from the hostess podium. We were right there… and they never called our name. They never texted that the table was ready. So even though we were waiting for over 30 minutes, since our actual reservation wasn’t until noon I didn’t bother going up to ask what was up until closer to 12:10. Guess what the hostess told me? “Oh, you were a no show.” What. The. Actual. Fuck? I was fuming. I didn’t say anything (because I didn’t want to be a bitch, and if I started to complain full bitch would have come out), but Michael says that if looks could kill then no one at the restaurant would still be alive. Oops. Did my face say that?

So, we finally got seated, and it took almost 10 minutes for the server to come take our drink orders. I know, because I actually started the timer on my phone. I told Michael if she wasn’t there by the 10 minute mark I was walking out. She came up with just a minute to spare. Even Michael ordered water, because holy shit I kid you not, the sodas were $4.29. Even for Disney’s overpriced pricing that just seemed insane. I got excited when I saw they had my favorite cider, but since they were selling it for TEN DOLLARS for a bottle, yeah, water it was. Anyway. So. We ordered waters and our food, and sat there.

Side note: the table next to us was piled with dirty dishes when I looked in the window at about 12:05, and it was still piled with dirty dishes as we sat there waiting for our food… at 12:45. And that wasn’t the only table covered in dirty dishes. I kept fixating on the cherry stem stuck to the booth back next to Michael. At that point, between sleep deprivation, extreme hunger, achy legs, lowgrade headache, and extreme frustration with the situation, I was literally in tears. You can sort of tell in the one picture I took inside the restaurant, the selfie with my sandwich. I only took that because I wanted photographic proof that we were there so we didn’t get charged a no show fee on top of paying for the shitty ass lunch.

Okay. Well. Moving on…

After leaving Beaches & Cream we just sort of piddled around the resort for a while before swinging by the pool. I had thoughts of sitting in the hot tub with a drink, but the hot tub was looking pretty crowded… so I got a piña colada to go and camped out in the amazingly huge jetted bathtub in our room. After a while I was calm enough to get ready for bed, for yet another really early morning.

The morning of the half wasn’t a great start. Maybe it was karma kicking my ass for my death glares the day before, but traffic was worse than I’ve ever, ever, ever encountered on race morning, and it took me about 45 minutes to get from Old Key West to the start staging area. Nikki and Lisa were waiting for me with coffee, and we got into the corral and waited for go. It was a long, slow race with lots of walking and lots of character stops (I literally did double the character stops in this race than I’ve ever done in all my previous runDisney events)… but the frustrations always go away when you start running down Main Street at see Cinderella’s Castle waiting for you at the end. That just never, ever gets old.

After the race, Michael and I headed out of Orlando over to Bartow. He knows the owners of the Lenny’s out there and wanted to stop in. That was fine with me, I was pretty desperate for a chicken philly at that point. I might have threatened to cut a bitch if anyone got in the way of my chicken philly, actually. Even though I didn’t throw out my knee, it was feeling a little bit wobbly and so Michael let me borrow his brace. It didn’t last much longer than lunch though – wearing it made me walk so funky in compensation that I was afraid it would do more harm than good.

And for the last day before we headed home… Sunday… Marathon day. Spoiler alert: I again did not complete the Walt Disney World Marathon, and I again do not have that beautiful Dopey medal. But at least this time I stopped without an actual injury. I might have been hurting, but I wasn’t broken. And then I might have stupidly told Michael that I would never try for a challenge again. Yeah. I’m already regretting those words. Ugh. Someone engage that filter in my head so I won’t say stupid shit like this anymore.

Anyway… after a long day of napping and limping around Disney Springs, we met up with all the roomies and with Lisa and Nikki for dinner at Artist’s Point, a very nice, swanky, sit down restaurant at Wilderness Lodge. Not to be confused with Artist’s Palette, the also very nice but totally counter service restaurant at Saratoga Springs. Artist’s Point is a character dining experience where you can see Snow White, the Evil Queen, Grumpy, and Dopey. Yeah, we went there for Dopey. But I felt a little more affinity with Grumpy that evening.

After dinner we finished packing up, and crashed hard. No more before dawn wake up calls! YAY! But we still needed to get up fairly early to say goodbye to Natalie et al, and load up the car and get on the road ourselves.

On Monday, we had a loooong drive home, but we did it all in one day. Michael did most of the driving, because the one time that I started driving we hit insane traffic combined with torrential downpours and I kind of freaked out. We were in his car and it is an actual car, lower to the ground than my nice big SUV, and I panicked. But eventually we made it home, back to my babies and my kitties!

SORRY IT IS LATE! But here's the quickie lowdown of what Michael and I got up to during the second half of our recent Disney vacation. Continuing the saga of Katie's First Trip To Disney In Fourteen Months! Yesterday I talked about our trip through Thursday, so today I'll cover Friday to home.

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chrispetescia · 8 years ago

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My 2016 in review … Part 2 of 2

(Part 1 of 2 is here)

2016 Personal

So, what else? Plenty! If your eyes are tired, turn back now.

For anyone still here, I survived another year! Minus some misleading and ultimately unconcerning (after 3 weeks of unnecessary stress) blood results with iron levels, I cleared 2016 without anything weird happening to me.

I turned 33 this year, and, in true adventurous spirit, did a spur-of-the-moment day trip to Walt Disney World with Mike. About midday of the day before, I realized that Disney was all I really wanted (still dealing with withdrawal after four weeks down there), so I texted Mike and he was immediately onboard. I gave away Hamilton tickets I had and we booked a flight that night, landing at 11-something pm. We grabbed a few drinks at the lounge at Disney’s Contemporary, and went to bed. A few hours later we were at the Magic Kingdom for rope drop, and spent an incredibly fun day bouncing between there, Hollywood Studios, drinking around the world at Epcot and back to MK for more rides and fireworks … 30,459 steps total according to my fitbit … and back up to Brooklyn in time for morning meetings the next day with an early morning flight.

With many business travel days away from Beth and Olivia, they joined me twice in 2016. During the second week at Disney, we decided to stay the weekend (instead of me flying back to NYC for a day and a half). They came down on a Thurs or Fri and hungout while I worked, and we enjoyed the weekend together. Olivia LOVED the savanna views, spending mornings watching the animals (while they watched back) from the room’s deck. We even saw a baby giraffe playfully (and awkwardly) running around the savanna! They also joined me in Venice, where we rented an Airbnb in August so Beth and Olivia could enjoy a change of scenery and see me before and after work out there. They even stopped by the office a few times at lunch :)

We did a few weekend trips this year, although we were barely at The Burrow between Spring and late Autumn, unfortunately. Thankfully, several sets of friends were able to enjoy it and keep our beloved, upstate escape some company. For vacation, we planned a trip to Walt Disney World for mid October way back at the start of 2016 (ahead of all the unplanned work trips). In celebration of Tony’s 30th birthday, Katy’s (?? ;) Birthday, Bridget’s first visit, Olivia’s first birthday, and my and Beth’s anniversary (all the things!), we went down during both the delicious Food & Wine Festival at Epcot and Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween festivities & decor, our first time experiencing the latter. It was also our first time staying at Disney’s Port Orleans Resort (French Quarter), and our group of friends had so much fun. We ate all the things, enjoyed a day at Universal’s Wizarding World, and had an all-around blast. Our second was the week before Christmas with Beth’s parents. We enjoyed the weekend down there in the Parks, and a really cool nature hike at Disney’s Animal Kingdom for a few hours. A few of the days saw me working from the hotel room (Saratoga Springs), which is frustrating to do knowing that magic awaits just beyond the door (working on your phone in the Parks is worse though, I discovered), but considering how much we got to visit WDW this year I can’t complain too much. Christmas at Disney is stunning, and it was wonderful to have a daddy-daughter night when we first arrived. We enjoyed some great food, rides, and got Olivia’s first photo with Santa (more Olivia firsts below). After a few days we went up to Sparr, FL to visit the Woodrings’ home and Beth’s grandfather, before flying out Christmas morning to visit my parents and siblings in NJ for two days. All summarized in photos here. We also, finally, became members of the Disney Vacation Club and officially own a piece of the magic. 50 years of Disney trips for us and our family are now guaranteed! Beth is excited, I am ecstatic. For NYE we decided to stay up past 10pm this year, getting a sitter for Olivia and heading to a party with Jon, Cassy and other friends ... and returning to our tradition of midnight fireworks at Prospect Park.

2016 also saw some big life events for close friends! It’s incredibly exciting to see great things happen to people you care greatly about, and that was the case with everyone whose weddings we attended. John and Corissa got married at the Brooklyn waterfront in Redhook, and it was a blast. Next was Badowski and Sandi, whose stunning wedding took place near Hunter Mountain (my sister Marybeth came up to watch Olivia). Tony got a ton of amazing boomerangs, which I hope he posts more of at some point. Before that, we enjoyed Steve’s bachelor party in Vegas this summer :) Ryan’s bachelor party was in Philly, and a fantastic time with Nick Nolte following us around all night… Ryan and Meli wed in Farmington, CT (where I grew up, before Sparta) and I managed a speech that was pretty well-received, I’m happy to say, at least accordingly to audience praise after. It was so much fun, with plenty of old friends, and my parents drove up to watch Olivia at the hotel while we partied.

Although we almost exclusively hangout at the office, it would be remiss not to acknowledge one of my closest friends, Jillian. Bonded over Disney, Harry Potter, cats and a plethora of moral and emotional support during tough stuff, she is a big part of the day-to-day enjoyment I have at Carrot. She is a valuable and unwavering friend, and extremely loyal. She also calls me on my shit, which I suspect is appreciated by all :) Speaking of strong women: Brittany, my assistant and our office manager, is amazing. There are not words to adequately describe her work ethic, loyalty … and patience. I count on her for a lot :)

We did some other stuff this year too … Beth and I are season tickets holders of the Islander again this season, but with an upgrade to rinkside (on the glass)! While we could only do a day of NY Comic Con, due to SOMEONE’s wedding, we still had a blast! It’s a tradition we’ve enjoyed since Beth and I met in 2010, and now a family tradition with Olivia. Beth killed it with her Rey costume (home-made and screen accurate), my Kylo Ren was top notch … and Olivia was not a fan of her amazing, Beth-crafted BB-8 (mostly wore a BB-8 themed dress instead). Maybe next year :) It was a great dry-run for Halloween, and a great basis for our Holiday card! Also speaking of Star Wars: I rented a theater for Rogue One and, once again, a horde of Carrots and guests enjoyed a special, early screening! We had a limited run of pins made as entrance tickets and everyone loved it. It started with an incredible troll that ended with an altered video of my daughter and I lightsaber battling (filmed mere days after her first steps)! I also picked up some cool collectibles from The Force Awakens this year (here and here), hugged a wookie, and said goodbye to not one, but two heroes from that galaxy far, far away :(.

We caught a screening of the Labyrinth at Prospect Park, made our annual visit to Storm King Arts Center, and ate plenty of Fornino. Beth celebrated her first Mother’s Day, and I had my first Father’s day :) Speaking of firsts … the reason anyone is still reading at this point … Olivia. She had SO many adorable, amazing and fascinating firsts! With media, here are the ones I can think of:

First trip away from home, and first flights! First time meeting Great-Grandparents and visiting Walt Disney World for a day.

First time meeting Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Donald, (scary) Jawas, Chewbacca, Kylo Ren and more.

First trip to Disneyland, and first time on her now-beloved It’s a Small World. First attempt at pulling the sword from the stone.

First time at Hogwarts, and first raptor encounter.

First concert (Dave Matthews Band), first time backstage at a concert, and first time meeting said rockstar! Not a bad run for her first show. Thanks Maggie, for making it so special!

First “swim,” first beach (Pacific), first sled ride, first time playing in leaves.

First steps, first lightsaber battle, and first time fishing for cats.

And, a very special first birthday with friends and family who know her well.

Finally, this year and being a father was the death of concerts and a huge change in what I do with limited free time. I made it to a few though …

Dave Matthews Band (Hartford & Irvine)

This Will Destroy You at Bowery Ballroom

She Wants Revenge (Irving Plaza)

Bruce Springsteen at Barclay Center

Pearl Jam at MSG

I met my 2016 goodreads goal of 100 books ... heavily filled with comics though. It counts ;) I logged 11,198 songs played and my top listens across the board were, once again, Ludovico Einaude.

My resolution is to spend more, quality time with my family. Ironically, I am off to a horrendous start, having spent much of January 1st and 2nd writing this… but there is so much magic in the little things, that my amazing full-time-Mom wife and my daughter experience regularly together. Being a good husband and a father means providing, but also providing attention … especially during those times where I am actually there. I intend to do that more :) Here’s to 2017!

#year in review #personal #2016

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hermanwatts · 5 years ago

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Sensor Sweep: Firefly, Lou Antonelli, Nintendo 1985, Robot Anime

T.V. (Medium.com): Every generation has their white whale of a concluded series. Baby boomers got hooked on Star Trek and made a big noise about it until they got movies, spinoff shows, more movies, more spinoff shows… Generation X kept the love of Star Wars alive until they got novels, video games, comics and, err, prequels. Milennials got Firefly. And three years later, Serenity, a movie that, while excellent, reminded us that the story worked better on TV. And then nothing.

Author Interview (Liberty Island): It was four months of Hell for the Sad Puppy finalists– from the announcement of the ballot in April until the WorldCon in August – and essentially a left-wing lynch mob. In the end, the whole fiasco can be considered useful because it made the secret manipulators come out of the closet. Larry Correia has been completely vindicated.

Fiction (Paperback Warrior): “East of Desolation” was Jack Higgins’ (real name: Henry Patterson) 22nd novel, published in 1968 by Berkley and then reprinted dozens of times using different cover art. The book arrived seven years prior to Higgins becoming a mega-bestseller and household name with his 1975 novel “The Eagle Has Landed”. While booming sales never supported the material, the 1960s produced some of Higgins’ finest literary work, evident with this ice-capped adventure starring brush pilot Joe Martin.

Westerns (Mostly Old Books): A taut and violent short western that finds young Jess Remsberg, consumed with avenging the rape and murder of his wife, scouting for an Army wagon train that finds itself outnumbered in a brutal cat-and-mouse battle with a band of merciless Apaches. The tension remains high as the brilliant Apache warlord Chata matches wits step for step with young and ambitious Army Lieutenant McAllister who is close friends with Jess.

Book Review (Pulp Fiction Reviews): New Pulp writer Derrick Ferguson is best known for his action packed adventures, be they the exploits of Dillon, Fortune McCall or Sebastian Red. All of these should already be on your reading list. But back in 1914, Ferguson wrote this truly amazing novella, “The Madness of Frankenstein” that is his homage to the great Hammer horror flicks of the 60s and 70s. Having finally picked up a copy, we were eager open its pages and discover what special grisly treats Mr. Ferguson had whipped up for his unsuspecting readers.

Cinema (Scifi Movie Page): Disney+ has officially arrived, with all the force and weight that Uncle Walt’s 600 lb. entertainment gorilla can muster. The Mouse plays for keeps, and the buzz around event releases like The Mandalorian and the various MCU projects immediately put their streaming service in the top tier alongside Netflix and Amazon.

But Disney’s strengths go beyond their acquisition (and undeniably strong shepherding) of hot IPs such as Marvel and Star Wars. Their library stretches back over 80 years, and a large amount of it is available for streaming.

D&D (Walker’s Retreat): You know you’ve got something worth watching when you get a comment like this: “Yes. Monotheism is the missing link that D&D needs for a medieval authentic feeling in your game. I use it. In addition it does one of two things. It either keeps SJWs away from your game, or it attracts them because they want to break your game or be an antichurch outsider. In those cases they always end up quitting because they don’t get what they want.”

Gaming (RMWC Reviews): The Nintendo Entertainment System represented a sea change in what video game consoles could do and how they were received at home. Released in 1985 in North America, the NES came out at a time when the American market was still reeling from the great industry crash of 1983. Compared to the Atari 2600 which was the previous home console of choice, the NES had better graphics, sound, processing power, and yes, gimmicks. The 1985 launch was actually limited to New York City for the holiday season, and was then expanded in 1986 when it was clear to be a success.

Anime (Wasteland and Sky): As anyone who knows anime knows, there are two kinds of mecha series. First there were the originals, the super robots, then there were those created with Mobile Suit Gundam, the real robots. The former were pulp heroes that went on adventures to stop the villains while the latter were based on soldiers fighting in wars. Different approaches and aims allowed for very different legacies.

Book Review (Matthew Constantine): The second book in The Prydain Chronicles by Lloyd Alexander, The Black Cauldron is somewhat more complex and more interesting than The Book of Three. Having already been introduced to many of the characters, we don’t need to go through that again and can instead jump right into the action. Taran and friends are tasked with finding and destroying the Black Cauldron aka the Crochan, the magic item used to create near invincible Cauldron Born, undead warriors.

Tolkien (BBC): A pub made famous as a meeting place for fantasy authors CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien is to be made into a hotel. The Eagle and Child in St Giles’, Oxford, has a plaque inside commemorating the writers’ get-togethers. Known as The Inklings, they would regularly meet up with other academics at the Grade II listed pub. The application was approved by Oxford City Council’s west area planning committee on Tuesday.

D&D/Cinema (Tenkar’s Tavern): Comicbook.com shared an article about the upcoming Dungeons & Dragons movie (due Summer of 2021) – Thanks to Luke Gygax for sharing the article on Facebook. The upcoming Dungeons & Dragons movie will feature at least one character with ties to the Forgotten Realms and will focus on a quest for an iconic magical object. ComicBook.com can exclusively report that the upcoming Dungeons & Dragons movie currently in development by Paramount will focus on a group of adventurers looking for the Eye of Vecna, a powerful artifact that dates back to the earliest days of the game.

Pulp Hero (Black Gate): I have to confess that writing The Spider is a completely different experience for me than writing the Wild Adventures of Doc Savage, Tarzan, John Carter, or any of the other classic pulp heroes I’ve been privileged to bring back to life in new novels. With these other pulp heroes, it’s largely a matter of concocting a logical plot and having the heroes go through their customary pieces, although I seem to have quickly become an accidental king of crossovers since I’ve managed to convince the various license holders to permit me to have a few of them collide, such as Doc Savage and The Shadow, Tarzan of the Apes and King Kong.

Review (Porpor Books Blog): Men of Violence: All Review Special’ ($5.99, 93 pp) features reviews (limited to 250 words for an individual book and 500 words for a series) of over 100 paperbacks and comics published from 1953 to the present day, that fall (more or less) into the genre of ‘Men’s Adventure’ fiction. Needless to say, we live in an era in which men rarely read for pleasure, the genre of Men’s Adventure is regarded as affront to a Woke society, and any adolescent who brings a copy of Torture Love Cage (Jack Savage, 1959) to school probably will be expelled, and obliged to receive Counseling before being readmitted.

Book Review (Rough Edges): Almost a year ago, I read the first book in the Casca series by Barry Sadler and really enjoyed it. I didn’t mean for so much time to go by before I got back to the series, but that’s the way it happened. I’ve finally read the second book, GOD OF DEATH, which picks up the story of Casca Rufio Longinus, former Roman soldier who was present at the Crucifixion and was cursed with immortality because of it. Wounds or illness that would kill a normal man can’t claim him, and he’s doomed to wander the world, always making his way as a mercenary soldier.

Novel Excerpt (DMR Books): Wulfhere and Eanhere and their army of bears crept down the valley silently. From a cliff they could see Penda’s men as they sat in a little grove eating their midday meal. Eanhere took half the bears and crept round to the other side of the grove while Wulfhere waited on this side with the rest. Wulfhere crept quietly closer till only a small knoll stood between the Mercians and himself, and he could hear their loud talk and laughter. “Ha, we will root this bear out of his den, and he will go the way of his people!” one said as he emptied his horn of mead.

Art (Karavansara): Turns out this is a Robert Maguire cover for a novel called The Deadly Lady of Madagascar, bt Frank G. Slaughter (nice name for someone writing about deadly ladies) that I will try and find somehow. If I can’t write it, I can certainly read it.

Alt. History (Enter Stage Right): Alternative history (popularly called “alternate history”) is sometimes termed “uchronia” or counterfactual history. It is important to remember that alternative history pertains to events that are in the past at the time when the narrative is being written. So, for example, the 1920s projections of Hugo Gernsback about the 1980s cannot be properly termed as being alternative history – even though his vision of the world of the 1980s is much different from what has actually occurred.

D&D (Sacnoth’s Scriptorium): So, I just got a comment on my post back in September on the new film documenting Arnesom’s role in the creation of D&D. Since the comment seems to come from the filmmaker himself, thought I’d feature it here so as to give the filmmakers a better chance to have their say. Here’s their comment.

Gaming Magazines (Silver Key): Later issues of White Dwarf introduced readers to Thrud the Barbarian. The loinclothed barbarian stereotype born in the pages of sword-and-sorcery (Brak, Thongor, Kothar and their ilk) was by then quite pervasive, and strip author Carl Critchlow had fun with a character that was literally all muscle and no brain—a tiny head upon a massive, muscular body. Issue #50 (February 1984) has Thrud invoking “the sacred jockstrap of Robert E. Howard” before hacking his way through a horde of castle defenders, whom he (mistakenly) believes are holding a princess captive in the tower.

Science Fiction (Tellers of Weird Tales): I’m going back farther now into the past, into spring when, in a week when I was sick, I read The Space Trilogy by C.S. Lewis. Things To Come (1936) was still fresh in my mind when I read these books. That freshness may have influenced my thoughts on Out of the Silent Planet (1938), Perelandra (1943), and That Hideous Strength (1945). I shouldn’t spend too much time on this, but I’m sure I will. There is a lot in The Space Trilogy and it’s hard to move past some of these things without commenting on them and applying them to issues current in this blog and in our world of today.

Weird Tales (Dark Worlds Quarterly): Seabury Grandin Quinn would begin his writing career in The Thrill Book, an early Weird Tales precursor devoted to strange and off-trail fiction. Street & Smith, the future publisher of The Phantom and Doc Savage, ran The Thrill Book for sixteen issues, from March 1 to October 15, 1919. The magazine would publish Francis Stevens’ The Heads of Cerberus, one of the first science fiction novels about parallel worlds.

Sensor Sweep: Firefly, Lou Antonelli, Nintendo 1985, Robot Anime published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

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cheymonet · 6 years ago

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Letter #41

Dear Majic,

I really like dogs. I really think I will always have a dog the rest of my life because this whole time Kodi has been with me lots. It hasn’t mattered to Kodi whether I was happy or sad or if I’ve done something bad or good, he’s always been here. The loyalty of this dog. I don’t know how to explain it. Like last night, the whole phone call I had with you as soon as I started crying he put his head on me like he knew I needed someone. I think I will always want a dog like that. Or any loyal pet, I mean I loved Casper, another fish would be awesome but fish don’t live that long and I can’t move a fish if I don’t know where I’ll be living in the next year let alone the next month.

I know this is kind of random, but I really want to go on a road trip with you. I want to go from Vancouver to the other side of Canada one day, maybe not by car, but by train or something. I want to show you my favorite road trip I took with my family. Where you drive down from DC to Orlando. That’s like the road trip I want to take you on because it’s amazing. Like American road trip style and we can end up in Orlando where we can go to Walt Disney World, Universal, and there’s the best road side attraction on the border of North and South Carolina. It’s called South of the border. It’s the weirdest thing eveeerrr. Like for miles they advertise this place and when you get about 30minutes away from the border of North and South Carloina, all you see is this big ass sombrero just chilling on this huge ass tower, like Eiffel tower of sombrero. It’s like a tiny ass amusement park/red neck tourist spot with a little motel and a reptile museum. I fucking loved this place. My parents hated it, but my brother and I always got so hyped up because for miles theres is nothing and then this thing appears. It’s a little racist cause it’s called pedroland. And they sell a lot of fireworks because every place in America that has nothing around sells firework so we can set those off. Kiawah island is like my favorite vacation I went with my parents as a kid in South Carolina, I pet a alligator. Also, had several dreams later after getting eaten by one, but I guess that can’t be too bad. I also, want to go to like the island one day and do a whole tour of the island. Like tofino, duncan, where charlie lives, and all the random things on that island you grew up on. Maybe meet you dad, even though he will probably always hate me like my parents for you, I mean I understand parents just don’t like seeing there kids hurt. I’m sure I’ll grow on him though with time. Oh and going to the Napa Valley and going wine tasting driving down from Vancouver. I mean one road trip at a time, but I want to adventure with you when your ready. That’s what I look forward most for doing again.

Food is also something I can’t really eat anymore either. I used to get super excited to have Taco Bell, now I find it as mundane as any fast food place now. I almost hate it. My mom took me to Jinya and she ordered the Brussels sprout tempura and I started tearing up. I don’t know I just don’t get the same amount of joy from the food that used to bring me so much joy with you. So, when I heard you can’t eat ramen or do things too, it made me sad to hear. It’s probably worse because we made a lot of memories there in Vancouver. All I really have is Doug and the memories in my head. You have everything there. I gave up everything so you can have it all.

I know how much you hate me thinking about my future because it gives you too much pressure, but it keeps me motivated. Proving my parents wrong used to be my motivation in life and then I met you and that didn’t matter anymore. It became making sure you were proud of me. I know it got derailed by my stupidness a lot, but it’s always been to make you proud. I know, I do things because I’m reckless and stupid, but what keeps me going is my motivation to make someone in my life proud. Now, you and my parents are ashamed of me. It sucks a lot. Failure makes me feel awful and failure makes me freak out. I had everything and lost everything.

Also, can we please work on not yelling at each other when your ready. I really don’t like it. I know I’m dumb and need to be told over and over sometimes, but I just ask the same questions to understand things. I don’t ask it because I forgot, I just want to know better and understand. Like when you told me you want me at your graduation, I didn’t understand why because you just would keep saying you wanted me there. I wasn’t listening probably and I’m working on that, but also if things are really important to you just tell me its really important. Like make sure I know, it’s really important and like tell me No is not an option. You don’t have to compromise with me if it’s important to you. Yelling triggers me and I work really hard not to snap, but I snapped two days ago on the phone. I feel people yell just to make themselves sound superior and I don’t like feeling inferior. I don’t think you should ever have to yell at me to tell me your right. Yelling makes me want to fight back so that people don’t think I’m weak and a failure. I really need to learn to not snap, but less yelling and maybe more patience on my side is a good start.

I kind of let go a lot of the guilt and pain after our talk. It is easier to trust you then it is to force myself to forget and hate you. I couldn’t get myself to move on and I tried really hard to hate you and forget about you. Every time I tried, you were there for me. That’s why I wanted you to let me go. I needed you to let me go if there was no hope because I couldn’t do it.

This tattoo will definitely make sure I don’t forget you. I’m kind of scared. It’s going to be on my hands you know. I’ll see it everyday. I’m going to be one of those people who will never understand why I got an ex’s name tattooed on me.

I trust you’ll be safe and if you need anything you’ll let me know. Let me know okay. Man I feel like one of those momma seagulls pushing their baby bird off the room hoping they will fly and come home. Did I ever say I actually got to see one of the big seagulls do it to one of their baby birds. It was like two seagulls that pushed this little guy off but they only pushed one off not the other baby. I guess one grew up faster. I really hope you don’t get run over by a car like that time I had to see it. God that traumatized me. To watch these seagulls grow up to get killed by a car, humanity may be tossed a bit with our evolution.

It’ll make me so sad if someone hurts you while your doing your thing. I don’t know how you made me so maternal. Am I maternal? Or am I just growing up. Maybe I grew up and you grew down. I’m not saying that as an insult it’s just, I think it’s a good thing because I think you grew up to quick. You had to, you know. You moved out here and then the person you trusted kicked you out. You’ve been fighting for so long, and you never got to just do whatever you wanted. You’ve always had something to worry about. Your life finally got stable so I guess it makes sense you want to do what you never done before. You don’t have to fight anymore for a roof over your head or a job to feed you and your obsession for great clothe. I think you finally have it all and I guess it was time to trim the useless stuff out of your life. I don’t know for me I think what told me I was done with my twenties was the fact that my life was stable. I had a great girl, great job, great life, and I just wanted to keep it forever, that’s why I was ready to settle down with you. I was done making a fool of myself and just wanted to be nothing but responsible. Maybe you just waited until your life was stable to have your wild twenties, which is the smarter thing to do i’m sure. Like in life you are either the person that jumps head first hoping you don’t die or your the one who tests the waters before jumping in. We’re just opposite type of people.

Have fun okay. I won’t tell anyone about you anymore, you know to respect your wishes that no one needs to know what I think of you and what you think of me. I just feel a bit ashamed that I’ll have to lie.

I think I’m going to start writing more. I don’t know specifically what, but all these letters kind of showed me that I have something to say.

Sincerely Yours,

Chey

#love letter #i love you #i miss you #girlswholikegirls #i fucked up #i'm sorry #love letters #lgbt #iak #spilled words #my words #personal

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meanwhileinoz · 7 years ago

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10+ Disturbing Secrets In Disney Movies That They Don’t Want You To See

Disney has created an empire with their adaptations.

They have a series of Easter eggs and hints, some of them being very controversial and the others just being something worth laughing over. Eagle eyed fans notice these things and bring them They get around the internet thoroughly, so we created a list of things that’ll show you a different side of Disney.

#1 What’s the deal with all those dead moms?

There are countless missing mothers in the Disney movies. Whether dead or just plain gone, they include Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Pocahontas, Cinderella, Bambi, The Fox and the Hound, and Finding Nemo are just a few of them.

That’s probably because Walt Disney’s own mother died in a horrible accident right after he bought her a house from the money he made with Snow White. The furnace was faulty, and leaked, and caused Flora Call Disney to asphyxiate. Walt Disney blamed himself.

#2 The Shining is in Toy Story.

The floor in Sid’s house is remarkably similiar to the flooring of the Overlook Hotel. There’s also the fact that the number 237 is referenced multiple times throughout the movie, which is also the same number in the hotel that caused so many problems.

The director is also a professed lover of Stephen King, so it’s most likely intentional.

#3 The big bad wolf isn’t what the three pigs should be afraid of.

When the three little pigs went to the brick house to stay away from the big bad wolf, they’re seen celebrating. This happened in the 1932 short film called The Three Little Pigs.

In the background, you can see that it wasn’t the big bad wolf that took their father, it was the humans. In another, you can see Mother Pig nursing seven piglets, which means that four of them went to the slaughterhouse early.

#4 Call a sex line.

In the movie The Santa Claus, there’s a dialogue where Tim Allen jokes about “1-800-SPANK-ME? I know that number.”

Turns out, that line is an operational sex line that charges by the minute and a whole bunch of curious children ended up calling them. They changed the line to 1-800-POUND on the DVD releases and the television airings but didn’t recall the VHS tapes because it “would actually do more harm than good” and draw “more attention to the matter.”

#5 Gaston sees Death

In Beauty And The Beast, Gaston tries to kill Belle’s captor-turned-hero after chanting “Kill the beast!” Many, like myself, were looking forward to seeing him finally die, and when Beast spares him, Gaston lunges back. Upon reflex, Belle’s true hero pushes back, and falls off a cliff.

In a closeup of his eyes, you can see Death’s skulls flashing in his irises. This was deleted in the VHS version, but you can still see it in the DVD version.

#6 Aladdin tells children to take off their clothes.

A lot of people got up in arms about a dialogue in Aladdin when he was trying to convince Princess Jasmine to marry him. Her tiger, Raja, didn’t like Prince Ali in the least, and was defending Jasmine. Aladdin said “C’mon, good kitty, take off and go,” but a lot of people heard “Good teenagers take off their clothes.”

The voice actor has denied this to be true on numerous occasions, but you can’t help but hear it once it’s pointed out to you.

#7 The, uh… d*ckhead.

There’s a scene in Hercules where they save the damsel in distress, Meg from the River Guardian. In the tussle between him and the demigod, the Guardian gets hit in the forehead with one of his own horseshoes. The bump he gets is very, very phallic and the eye brows look distinctly like balls.

You can draw your own conclusions.

#8 Scar turns into a rug.

In the beginning of The Lion King, Zazu said to Mufasa that Scar would “make a very handsome throw rug.”

And in the movie, Hercules, you see that he wears a pelt that looks startlingly like someone familiar. He even throws it on the floor like a rug, and that happened three years after the movie, and the prediction of Lion King.

#9 Elsa and Anna’s parents.

In the hit movie, Frozen, the parents of the princesses go off to sea only never to return. It’s grim and morbid, because death by drowning is one of the worst ways to go. However, there’s this theory that in The Little Mermaid, Ariel explores their sunken ship. And how Eugene and Rapunzel from Tangled make a small cameo, the parents might have gone off to attend their wedding.

#10 The sex dust in Lion King

When The Lion King was released, there was a small scene where Simba falls down and dust bursts up onto the screen for a few frames. A conservative group called the American Life League said the dust spelled out the word “SEX”.

One of the movie’s animators said that was ridiculous and that it spells out “SFX” and in, special effects. Besides, putting in the word sex for a few frames is pretty lame.

#11 The naked woman in The Rescuers

22 years after the movie The Rescuers was released, Disney, in 1999 made a surprise announcement where they were going to recall 3.4 million copies of the movie. Apparently, sometime between the film getting completed and distributed, someone spliced in an image of a topless woman between two frames. It wasn’t noticeable in VHS, but on DVD it was.

#12 Jessica Rabbit didn’t wear underwear.

There’s a scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? involving Jessica Rabbit. When she and Eddie Valiant get into a car accident, they are thrown from their cabs and for a frame or two, you can see up Jessica’s legs and it would seem that the animators decided to skip drawing any underwear. Or anything at all. Much like the Rescuers, this was fixed in the DVD version.

#13 The Little Mermaid genital controversy.

Despite not having any human bits, The Little Mermaid attracted a lot of attention because of different genital-like innuendos. When Ursula tricks Eric into marrying her, the minister that officiated the wedding looked like he had an erection. Animators said that was just his knee, but that’s not the only thing that happened.

The VHS tapes were also recalled because the cover art apparently included a male genital like spire. While the minister remained in the movie, the cover art is now just a collector’s item.

#14 The rampart racism in Disney movies.

In Dumbo, a murder of crows make racist remarks against the baby elephant. And many have seen this to be racist in itself because the crows look like they’re supposed to be a parody of black people.

In Fantasia, characters designed after African-Americans have the role of slaves during Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony scene. The slaves, Sunflower and Otika serve centaurs and other Greek myth creatures.

In Peter Pan, Tiger Lily and her people speak in broken English and act ridiculously wild, to make fun of Native Americans. They’re even referred to as ‘savages’.

In Lady and the Tramp, evil Siamese cats speak in thick Asian accents riddled with many other offensive Asian stereotypes.

#15 Finally, a movie so racist it didn’t even get a DVD release.

Even though the movie Song of the South might not ring many bells, their hit song “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah,” might. This movie was so torridly racist and offensive, that one critic calls “one of Hollywood’s most resiliently offensive racist texts.”

Source

http://ift.tt/2wF8pOL

#ENTERTAINMENT

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ps2600-blog · 8 years ago

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Return to Disney World Day 2: Today we planned to hit 2 parks; Magic Kingdom and Epcot. I have to apologize for the lack of pictures up front. My wife HATES it when I go crazy with pictures. She finds my laying on the ground and hanging upside down to get good shots embarrassing. My problem is I have two modes; all in taking 1,000’s of photos or taking almost none. I just can’t balance it out.

The Plan: Make it to Magic Kingdom for rope drop, ride the Seven Dwarves Mine Train, Under the Sea - Journey of the Little Mermaid, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Mickey’s PhilharMagic, Peter Pan’s Flight, Walt Disney Railroad, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Carousel of Progress, The People Mover, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the Haunted Mansion. We also had a fastpass for Soaring over at Epcot between 6:35 - 7:35, check out Living with the Land, and plans for the Wishes Nighttime Spectacular back at the Magic Kingdom. This plan was nowhere near set in stone; we had 8 must see attractions with the rest being extras due to short waits. We still moved at a leisurely place, taking time out for breaks to simply visit. We ended up being at the parks from 8:30 am to 11:30am! Let’s break it down and review how my wife managed:

Our first objective was to get to the Seven Dwarves Mine Train and ride that long wait, elusive attraction. I know some critics have been throwing mud at this ride, but I loved it. The swaying cars were awesome, the animatronics were top notch, the scenery and amount of details were insane, and the inclusion of some pieces from the defunct Snow White’s Scary Adventures were an awesome touch. This is a must ride. Perfect little roller coaster that is smooth, fun, not intense. My wife approved.

My Wife’s Mood: Ecstatic.

Next we hopped on Under the Sea - Journey of the Little Mermaid. WOW! I was beyond impressed with some of the animatronics on this ride, the Ursula one especially! I did find some of the Ariel animatronics to have that weird creepy smile with large eyes like so many people have been noticing. Still, the ride was great. Only let down was the final scene. You get Prince Eric and Ariel reunited with a flat Ursula puppet in the background. Not the show stopper I was expecting. My wife was ecstatic the whole way through.

My Wife’s Mood: Still Ecstatic!

Next we hopped on one of my wife’s must see attractions, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. This is another dark ride that is always a fun go through. The animatronics are simpler; think Peter Pan’s Flight, not Pirates of the Caribbean. My wife enjoyed it as she got to ride through all of her favorite Disney Winnie the Pooh cartoons. The showstopper here is when Pooh falls asleep and you see a 3D visual of him float up and out of his body and into his nightmare. This special effect is on par with what you would see in the Haunted Mansion.

My Wife’s Mood: Still Ecstatic!

We hopped into Mickey’s PhilharMagic which is a must see for me. I love 3D movies and anytime someone combines that with real elements like wind, water, smells… just take my money! My wife had fond memories of this attraction and needless to say, Mickey’s PhilharMagic did not disappoint. An attraction that holds up to your own built up nostalgia is simply intoxicating.

My Wife’s Mood: Upgraded to having a magical day!

We were able to get on Peter Pan’s Flight next. This is a classic attraction that uses simple animatronics to tell the story of Peter Pan. You board a ship that flys out the window and over various scenes from the movie. Not my wife’s favorite, but she still saw the appeal and enjoyed it. She just thought the ride was too short.

My Wife’s Mood: Having a magical day.

At this point it was about lunchtime. I brought everyone to the Columbia Harbor House knowing that their Lighthouse Sandwich (hummus and broccoli slaw on multigrain bread) would be a vegetarian’s delight. We ate, laughed, talked, and relaxed with my parents in the upstairs dining area away from the hustle and bustle for 2 hours. These quiet breaks were key for my wife to see that there is more to Disney World than crowds and rushing.

My Wife’s Mood: Having a magical day!

We next stopped off at the Frontierland Shootin’ Arcade so I could play and get some videos and pictures for another blog. My wife played checkers with my parents so she didn’t notice how long and embarrassing I was.

My Wife’s Mood: Still having a magical day.

We had some time to kill before our fastpass for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad so we hopped on the Walt Disney Railroad and took a trip around the park. This is always a nice, slow, enjoyable ride where you get to see some scenes set in the woods and around ponds. My wife enjoyed the almost tranquil escape from the crowds. Again, my goal is to show her that Disney World is more than crowds, lines, and spending money.

My Wife’s Mood: Still having a magical day.

We got off of the Walt Disney Railroad at Frontierland (after making a full loop) and headed over to Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, another must for me. I love the oldschool chains for pulling the coaster up hills; the herky, jerking actions of the carts adds to the fun for me. My wife…not so much. She still enjoyed it, just was caught off guard after the smoothness of the Seven Dwarves Mine Train. I was excited to see the refurbishments and… barely anything was different. Still a favorite though.

My Wife’s Mood: Rattled, but still having a magical day (phew)!

At this point the sun was blazing hot so we decided to grab some ice cream. We went to Main Street Plaza Ice Cream Parlor for some sundaes and a kitchen sink! I grabbed a decaf coffee from the Main Street Bakery and we all sat visiting and gorging on ice cream and large decaf coffees while watching the baby ducks run around under the tables looking for scraps. An hour and 3 stomach aches later, we decided to check out some of the lighter fare.

My Wife's Mood: Bloated and happy!

We waddled (well I walked. I did not partake in the ice cream smorgasbord) over to Tomorrowland to check out the Carousel of Progress, one of my favorite attractions. We got in and parked ourselves, ready to enjoy one of Walt's classics while cooling off. The attraction was great, everyone had a good time, and my wife found some of the periods quite amusing.

My Wife's Mood: Happy

Still feeling groggy and sluggish, we headed over to the People Mover, another classic attraction. We enjoyed the quick buzz around Tomorrowland while talking and relaxing. A perfect attraction for our state of mind.

My Wife's Mood: Happy.

Looking at our watches we thought we'd go check out Trader Sam's Grog Grotto over at the Polynesian before trekking to Epcot for Soarin'. We took the monorail and headed on in. Unfortunately, Trader Sam's was at capacity. We did not have the 45 minutes to wait so we hopped back on the monorail and headed to Epcot. Despite not getting into Trader Sam's (for now), we did get a chance to check out the Polynesian resort.

My Wife's Mood: Still Happy.

We arrived at Epcot and headed straight for Soarin'. My wife was extremely excited to ride Soarin' and was even happier to see Puddy go through the pre flight routine. Now I've ridden Soarin' before, but not the new Soarin' Around the World. I am on the fence when it comes to deciding which one I like more. My gut tells me I enjoyed the original Soarin' more, but to be honest I never cared much for the ride to begin with. Regardless, my wife loved it.

My Wife's Mood: Back up to having a magical day!

Since we were in The Land pavilion, we hopped on the Living with the Land attraction. I always enjoy this boat ride through working greenhouses and hatcheries. My wife enjoyed it even more and couldn't believe that she was on a Disney attraction. This helped to dispel her preconceived notions of Disney World. Win win.

My Wife's Mood: Ecstatically having a Magical Day!

After Living with the Land, we grabbed some healthy food from the Sunshine Seasons Food Court and prepared to head back to the Magic Kingdom for Wishes Nighttime Spectacular. We decided to mix it up and take the monorail to the transportation center and take the ferry over to the Magic Kingdom. This allowed for some excellent nighttime views of Cinderella's castle. My wife has begun to see the magic of Disney World and why I am so obsessed with it.

My Wife's Mood: Still having a magical day.

We arrived at the Magic Kingdom and began to make our way through the crowd for my prime fireworks viewing spot...only to find that it's gone! With the reworked center, new castle walls, and trees the prime view from the Tomorrowland bridge is no longer! We ended up wandering around, trying to find a spot. We were unsuccessful. Wherever we went we were either chased behind a tape line or blocking young children. My wife became really frustrated with the whole situation and left for the bathroom.

My Wife's Mood: Bite your head off.

We got the group back together and headed to the Haunted Mansion. The Haunted Mansion is my favorite attraction at Walt Disney World. Period. This is always a must. In fact, I try to hit this attraction up at least 5 times per Disney World trip. However, I had to keep my eyes on the prize; getting my wife to see the Disney World that I see. I only got to ride the Haunted Mansion once this trip and that's OK. My wife was surprised at the detail and special effects of the Haunted Mansion, but she was not an overall fan.

My Wife's Mood: Better than before.

We began heading out of the park. We decided to hop on Pirates of the Caribbean on our way out. When my wife was younger she got stuck on this ride for an hour. She had no intentions of going on this ride. But due to no wait time and convincing from my parents, she joined us. My wife ended up loving the ride! A big WIN here!

My Wife's Mood: Tired, but back to having a magical day!

We headed down Main Street, U.S.A. and decided to grab some coffee from the Main Street Bakery and check out some shops. This allowed the crowds to go and sit at the bus stops while we shopped and enjoyed ourselves. Most people do not realize that a lot of the main souvenir shops stay open past the park closing. We shopped while people were trying to outrace one another through the gate to cram onto a bus like sardines. By the time we finished and headed to the buses, our line was down to 8 people. We got on our bus after a 5 minute wait, sat down, and let today's experiences sink in. Overall a great day with a lot of ground covered. I already feel like I have accomplished my mission and I still had one more day left!

My Wife's Mood: Tired, but happy after having a truly magical day!

#DisneyWorld #Disney #MagicKingdom #Log #Blog #Amusement #Park #Rides

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