#If latter then idk what to do lol
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Feeling terrible about my art, perhaps the game jam tomorrow will make me feel more confident 😔
#Idk if I'm falling into the low-engagement rabbit hole or if I'm genuinely frustrated#If it's the former then i need to consciously remind myself about important things#If latter then idk what to do lol#Either way I'll be busy with the jam#So that's good
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Puts the “plates” in “Fellplates” (Patreon)
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Hurt Gaster! Do it! Maybe classic will get a shiver down the infiniteness of the multiverse!#I wonder if he'd actually do it to himself or if he'd get it put on him by someone else for the full dramatic twist haha#Who even would? Asgore from sheer force? Alphys?? Idk lol#It's just the irony for me for now ♪#Although to completely cover them there'd have to be four rather than two :0 Hmm#Alphys' gift of fingerless gloves was a lot less invasive hm ♪ But that's part of the fun#I don't mean to keep doing crossovers - quite anyway lol - but hmm could that be 2-P from Fellplates with so much empathy in his eyes?#I guess it's the question of if Monsters Are or if they are Made ♪ Personally I'm partial to the latter but I do still fall into the former#Well either way - the important part is a Papyrus that doesn't like what he sees! He knows how much those hurt first (or 2nd? pfft) hand#And then just some errant thoughts about the Lost Soul head style and Gaster's void scars - give 'em to this version why not#Does any Gaster remain unscathed? Would he even be Gaster in that case? :)#A smile behind the white glow and tired eyes ringed by dark scars ♪ Fellplates is fun because he always looks good when he's suffering#The void smoke is still quite fun to draw hehe
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it's not my story to tell, so i won't be writing it, but i sincerely hope to see an interactive fiction someday where the protagonist is a felon. specifically, i'd like the protag to be someone who has served their full sentence and just gotten out.
there is so little respect and empathy for that perspective, so i just would love a well-written IF about it
#maybe there is one and i'm unaware?#if#just thoughts#writing#was just thinking about the stigma that ppl who kill during psychotic episodes face once they are approved for release#and ofc the skepticism and wariness of the general public makes sense esp of whichever community was actually affected by the crime#but like#what do we believe y'all#wtf do we believe#is psychotherapy real or should ppl be locked up forever for doing something while literally out of their sane mind#do we believe in reform or do we keep everyone locked up bc it's more comfortable to treat people like refuse#do we believe in live and let live or do we want ppl to never live on if we personally deem them undeserving of peace or life#is psychosis a real thing or are we all pretending to understand and empathize with mental illness#fr fr#i just really hate how ppl are so comfy reacting in certain ways to that specific sort of perpetrator idk lol#gut reactions are one thing and using our brains and what we objectively know about psychology in combo with that is another#and when it comes to criminals ppl are very happy to abandon the latter and fully embrace the former#but claim to still be good decent people like...............#do you truly believe crimes committed during a psychotic break should be weighed the same as ones not?#cause if you do like... fuck you???#and if you think they shouldn't.... then we *must* apply that logic to how we treat and perceive ppl cleared as not a danger#there's no perfect system anywhere but i hate how individuals are so quick and willing to disappear people we view as problems#the constant war on the unhoused is a good example too#mh#at capacity#the great sham#abolish prison anyway yknow
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S1 - Sneeze and Thank you
#smitty's “yeahhh” is sending me help hahahahaha#either 1- smitty didn't realize what scott said. 2- he really did think and agree with scott#and i do think it's the latter considering smitty didn't even do a double take hahaahh#smitty sure does love space huh. he brought up how they've never went to space (i think) and he's in a space club or something#i guess nature does extend to space and all too#i love how dave looks to rich at the end instead of protesting. like 'we're not gonna do that right?' like what if rich agreed lmao#he looks so concerned ahahhahaha#moversposting#video#undescribed#have i shared this before. idk it always feels like i'm repeating myself lol
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ohh what's your marble hornets sea au?
Im procastinating on studying so i'll take this as an opportunity to ramble lmao it's vaguely set in the age of sail but with a few tweaks and so.
My marble hornets sea au (name pending kekw) it's a psychological horror au focused on the isolation and paranoia that ravages a small ship (The Hornet probably lmao, I am NOT that original) after it's left stranded on the sea.
With the captain and most of the more experienced workers dead, Brian, Alex, Jay, Tim, Seth and Sarah are left adrift on the ocean for almost 5 months. The ship is eventually found by a whaling ship, however, only Jay is found aboard. passed out and hid beneath the deck between the empty wooden boxes that once held the cargo.
The only thing Jay is left with is the memories of the night before the incident that left most of the crew dead, a week of the isolation the new crew was left in and the incoherent ramblings of the logbook of the ship.
He remakes his life back on land, having gotten an intense fear of the sea for reasons he can't recall, and becomes a small journalist for a local paper in a whaling town. However, after 3 years and increasing curiosity, Jay decides to try and find out what happened to the ship, for both himself and in honor of the few memories he has of his friends.
However, as Jay starts joining different ships in search of the truth, following an old letter that claims to have been sent by his old friend Alex, he begins to feel increased paranoia and fear as each ship he joins has a tragedy happen upon it.
It's almost like he is being hunted by something...
#marble hornets#jay merrick#vrill talks#? igs?#i am very insane abt this au btw#its vaguely inspired by Moby Dick and Mariner's revenge if u wanna get somewhat of a vibe#except take that and max out the psychological issues and paranoia x10000000#anyways the small period of time (like 3 months lol) that the hornet's crew manages to survive after the initial incident is#while tragic#very comedic too#there's no better way to pretend everything is alright like goofing around with ur friends on the sea lmao#i dont have the latter actual mh plot fully planned/thought out#BUT i do have lots of thoughts abt the period pre-incident and post incident in the ship so feel free to ask abt that#marble hornets sea au#<- working name idk ill see what i think about
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rereading my fics is like a constant cycle of being like "teehee that was funny. oh god that line was cringe. hehe that was funny. wait why did i say that 😑. hehe. wait i forgot about that part. hang on didnt i plan to write xyz into this why did i never get to that. teehee that was funny-"
#anyway im rereading the latest chapter i had for the kalim thing to refresh my mind kfsdjfklsd i gotta revisit my notes#which are. within this sketchbook sojfdlksjf idk why i wrote them in there instead of just in a doc lololol#but god yea i forgot a lot already that happened in the latest chapter bc theres was some stuff i think i hd to add/figure out#as i was writing it outside of the chapter planning lolol#not a lot but enough that i was like HMM. fjdsklfjdskl good thing it is right here for my own. memory.#there are alos a lot of spacing errors and a typo so im editing them rn =_=#ive had a general outline for how the whole thing would go / roughly a few things i might want for the last few chapters#but ough i really am in the no man's land rn this latter part is less planned than the first part LOL#so uh. we'll see how it goes. but it's ok if it sucks it's my first multi chapter fic im not counting on perfection!!!#either way i will do my best. to make it enjoyable i hope sdlkjfklsdjf#ppl in the comments: wow im interested to see how this turns out#me shaking kalim by the shoulders: me too. whats going on. sdjklfjsdkfljsklfjsdkl
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i kinda think part of why people treat donnie as less caring than he is is like. sometimes not knowing when he's joking? like that time he threatens to be "semi-lethal" when splinter's in the truck with meat sweats. like i'm sure most of you knew he was joking but like. do some of you realise he like, would not have done that? like remember how he was sad? when splinter actually got hurt? same with leo in the movie? and all of them at every other time?
like he's self proclaimed funniest. and also a mad scientist aesthetic doesn't make a character a villain by itself it's what you actually do with that (yes he has done bad things within that area (haunted stare towards mind meld) but you have to admit he like. did fix those. and feel bad and hopefully learn his lesson but hey that's another analysis)
i have mixed feelings on villain donnie stuff, as an example, because like. ANY character put in a situation where they lose their way is really fun and if in character is really interesting as to what could cause that.
but when it's treated as like. inevitable. who he is, or phrasing his brothers are the only thing stopping him being evil. it's like hm. ugh. kind of hurts a bit actually but that's probably because i relate to him ghfdjk
like the seen in snow day with the tech bo chainsaw like. all he really DOES is cut a snowman there but he's just like. leaning into being "evil" with the chainsaw but like he's just being silly with it. acting like that's proof of anything is wild to me, without any other data points.
also kind of separate but i think there's a dissonance between what is like. seen as evil? between me and like most people lol. like the scene in the movie as well with like "finally, man and machine, entwixt in perfect bionic synergy" someone i watched it with was like "haha evil moment" or whatever where i was just like. yeah real that would be rad as hell. honestly gender also.
not saying he's never done anything wrong but i am saying he immediately tries to fix all of those things
anyway he does have a really interesting relationship with morals in my eyes but like, at his core he really cares about people, you know?
this isn't hate to anyone btw i just care about donnie a lot as a character and as really layered autistic representation
#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie#donnie analysis#making that a tag now because i know what i'm like#rottmnt analysis#i can write so much about donnie. idk if it's good. or accurate. but i can write it#unrelated but it's so funny when people say donnie's cishet or homophobic even (the latter as a joke but. not my type of humor personally)#and then say he's villain coded. like lol. i laugh. i know it's probably different sets of people for the most part but yeah#especially if they compare him to megamind specifically. like okay#megamind famous bisexual neurodivergent and you know. no longer even a villain at the end#like i'm not saying you're wrong i'm saying that it's actually more than just surface level theater kid stuff there (that too though)#like donnie has people who care about him from the start. they're not “keeping him in check” (yikes?) they're caring about him. nuance#but yeah like. genuinely i think it's interesting how he's seen as villain-coded#like i know villains and queer-coding is a known thing but i'm just wondering. is that also a thing with autistic-coding#or do people just naturally not get autistic people in real life and find them scary and that just carries across in responses to fiction#idk#donnie villain fic where he sees how he's perceived anyway by fanon and just gives up on being good#joke but i guess you can steal that just write it well if you do. for me. idk if it'd even be a villain concept really there#he'd probably just be like. sad. and try even harder to be good.#also what about mikey villain fics huh. there's literally a cut episode that would be so fun to play with#anyway feedback appreciated#this was so train of thought i'm sure some of it's unclear
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whyyyy does nobody ever come back to this group fjdkdl they show up once for a first time and then never return !!! its kind of crushing bc some ppl I've been like... excited at the prospect of seeing them again and then they just never show up ever again :')
and I didn't even get to draw anything good while sitting there !!! AUGH
#bleaseeee come back shfkdl im the only person that goes every week !!!#theres one other person who occasionally shows up but fjdkdl otherwise its just me#and then new ppl every time#and i cannot help but feel like im doing smth wrong and making them not want to return fhfkdl#i even get ppl to talk in the latter half once I've figured their vibe out and they seem genuinely happy to engage w convos#i somehow land on a topic we all enjoy and then we have a fun convo#and im very careful to not talk too much or too little djfkdl i am constantly adjusting to make sure I'm matching whats needed#i kind of have conversations irl down to a science dhdksl its ridiculous honestly but. it is what's gotten me thru life lmao#and I've been told countless times how good i am at connecting w ppl and making ppl feel comfortable#so im just like. what am i doing wrong !! how do i make this group enjoyable so ppl will come back !!#i know it's not my job lol im just an attendee and not a leader but i feel like i Have To if i want ppl to return#idk i just. god. there were cool ppl last week and this week it was some other new person who seemed like she did not want to be there#and i doubt I'll ever see those cool ppl last week ever again#i just want to cry a little bit sbdjdkl today was such a waste of time except for the fact i was able to get out of this hell house fhfkdl#i will just keep hoping that someone actually enjoys it enough to return i guess but this is getting a bit crushing to have happen so much#but... at least i am getting to talk to ppl face to face outside of my mother every week i suppose#vent //#dandy.cmd
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life is too short I wanna replay SO many video games
#can you believe ntwewy is two years old?? i wanna replay it#hell we're coming up on the game's announcement trailer's third anniversary. i remember that day vividly#meanwhile i recently replayed pokemon oras and enjoyed it. been a long time since i enjoyed a pokemon game#i wanna go back and finish my now about five year old file on heartgold. idk why i stopped on the eighth gym#so maybe I'll do that next#i also wanna play xenoblade 3 before much longer but first i wanna replay the first game#sometimes i work on the last achievement i have yet to achieve in rdr2 and that always makes me wanna replay it#i beat it once and got to 100% completion and restarted it twice since then but kept stopping when i got to the latter half lol#anyway i gotta finish totk at some point. got distracted bc genshin updated and then my friend started playing it#so we're playing together all the time lately whenever I'm not at work or drawing or reading#OH MAN and I've been listening to kh osts lately. and i keep thinking. what if i replayed literally any of those games lol#augh I'm just over here chewing on video games like a beaver at 5x speed
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Hey… I do not care what it’s about. If you reblog a post that says, “If you [like/think/do] x, I genuinely hope you die,” I am not going to follow you anymore.
#negative#discourse#i guess?? idk what else to tag for the blacklist#but i’m so tired of this dude#can we talk about things being harmful without wishing death on people. thanks.#tired of unfollowing people i thought were cool lol#i mean. even disregarding the ethics of it for a moment#do you want to change minds / educate or do you want to make people feel hurt and defensive?#bc you have chosen the latter and it is Not helpful
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bonking my head to finish that ask blog story update but rn my mind has a changeling infestation apparently bc all i wanna do is make concepts for the changelings specifically in my future au
#i have it sketched out and im gonna try and do more tonight after i eat something#but... i wanna make changeling designs. so bad.#also calling it a future au instead of a nextgen bc idk if thats appropriate for what im doing?#bc nextgen kinda implies everyones getting a kid and im making a ton of kids to make a storyline with#and idk i kinda just wanna fling some designs on the wall to see if they stick and think abt fluff#i also had a barebones idea for chrysalis that i dont think is entirely original but still makes me wanna delve into her character#3 of my fave characters are thorax ocellus and pharynx so i just. forget abt THE queen#the one who gave us the banger that is the season 2 finale#speaking of which i may continue my mlp lb into season 2 if bluey doesnt grip me#at this point im putting off xy AND magireco tbh lol. tho i may just drop the latter ive kinda accepted that im not gonna enjoy it#i dooo wanna try out a mg anime but i got my mind tangled last night with ''oh do i wanna watch the tmm reboot''#do i wanna watch smile precure dubbed or subbed bc apparently the dub sucks but its harder for me to get into subs...#so. putting those on the backburner til i can at least see what i can find online#idk if netflix has the original smilepre (ik it has glitter force) but idk if i can see it without changes and such#echoed voice#also if i do continue mlp i may or may not continue into season 3 since thats short. but def taking a break on season 4#and idk if ill continue after that tbh. if i do im only doing select episodes it doesnt look very worth it lmao
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reading the end of hiagb made me realize that when following along live i'd read a lot more of it than i thought and it's fun that it's overarchingly how a nut and a bug launched into space b/c of being sick of the world & into a temple at the edge of time & not-actually-infinite versions of themselves re: every [alternate timeline based on different choices/possibilities] can coexist in the same world with every bug tasked w/launching every nut back to the temple for reasons re: maintaining things and all the looping is disrupted by one bug who dated their nut and another bug whose quantum leap error was rectified by being teleported into another nut. the One System Error in an iterative process, one organic Idk Things Just Went Differently This Time As They Always Could've But Maybe Otherwise Virtually Never Did And That's Enough "that's / [one is] all it takes" vs "it's all the same / what's the diff" loops. no rules
#i think the especial endzone / finale aligned w/my being offline for like 5 mo's....#as well as how reading along had made it like ''ok it's been Years so i don't remember all the stuff from having not reread it'' lol#also the bug whose quantum leap error was rectified by their living in another nut's head trying to run interference to keep both alive....#and in the middle a lot of small Episodes. i felt like i got the ending here better than i did re: back lol#it also reminds me that [idk there could be a lot of Layers of larger/smaller worlds within worlds again]#And [weird really specific ass off the shits situations could be literal] as they were here. scratching my head abt the links b/w abigails#slightly scratching my head abt events here too but that's fine. like oh no there could be details better strung together than w/e i manage#my Win while coughing up blood trying to spontaneously speak to kc green was to announce i read ''hiagb'' phonetically. heeyaghbuh.#i mean it was overall fine i'm sure lmao sweating one's like [oh jeez. couldn't play it cool & ''winningest off the cuff exchange w/a rando#that anyone could ever have'' achievement] like ah it's whatevs. awkward being on either side lol we do what we can#i also never decided whether to think of ''crange'' as like hypothetical carefully pronounced ''orange'' or like ''strange''#end up reading it as the latter. never ended up thinking of emerson bartender as a particular gender though i think they're vaguely A Guy#some more uhh grounded panels featured here lmao. not representative of the usual elevation. or is it???#a bit but not in all ways. there are like a half dozen sphincter related points#anyways i'm shouting out the concept of the just one that goes differently. one little glitch in the mundane system (both/all are you)
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how about 🧸 for hua and mafuyu? 👀
"what's your favourite memory of us?"
(some s/i lore stuff and probably spoilers for hua's backstory below but oh well)
hua
I have a lot of memories of her from the previous era, but most of those are lost in time by now. I'd say my favourite would be either be her remembering me, or us getting reunited after... uhh some 'shots' were fired haha. I was worried that I'd lose her again, so seeing that she was okay made me feel a lot better.
Though, I never really minded her amnesia from the divine key, since a lot of her past is painful for her. but... to say i was relieved would be an understatement.
anyways serious stuff aside I like seeing Hua get frustrated at her gacha luck, it's cute! I try to wish her luck but... it doesn't end up working-
mafuyu
Might sound strange but, hearing her speak with her genuine voice in empty sekai. I mean, it was our breakdown era and all, but, I think hearing Mafuyu talk with her normal voice made me realise how much i prefer 'Mafuyu'. Not just her being an honour student, but seeing a bit of her true self. We both still have a long way to go, but I'm glad she doesn’t have to talk like that around Niigo.
Also!! feeding Mafuyu apple slices!! I honestly wasn’t sure why she wanted me to feed them to her but,,, it's cute so i just go with it <3
#❅ — chatting#i have... a lot of lore for my self inserts in each game lol#i was think whether to do cap.tainsona!me or like previous era!me but i thought it'd me gayer if i did the latter#also captain is just a really boring character idk what i'd even say /lh#anyways sorry if you don't know what fen.ghuang down is none of hua's one makes any sense#but ignore the lore she remembers me cause of the g a y#that's all you need to know#anyways#i think before i got to properly know m.afuyu i'd say i found her voice annoying#OK BUT it's bc i have to do the same voice in public as well#and like#i hate people who actually sound so overly polite like that#so many tags jdnfkdf#i just have many things to say lmao
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god i have to talk about it otherwise i'll die
look at san's tongue in the last gif here.
the voiceless dental fricative does not occur in korean -- the first syllable of the english word "thanks", in korean, would be pronounced like 땡- (soundless tense alveolar stop/plosive? i think?). so his tongue would have been behind his teeth but it clearly isn't!! he's doing this! i am so happy
#shrimp thoughts#idk if it sounds patronizing but I AM NOT i genuinely find this really cool because i don't think it's something#'normal' people know. like i only know it because i actually did a semester of english studies LMAO otherwise i'd just say 'thank you'#and other th-words with an f sound. or maybe a slightly aspirated t sound i genuinely don't remember what i did in high school lol#i don't overhear people talking in english often but when i do they always have audible polish accent even if they're around my age so#san's english is (i think?) the most smooth-sounding of them all and i'm wondering if it's because he took classes or because he just#has a good ear for language things like sounds and intonation because he's got the latter down PAT#auogh i had too much caffeine it's half past 2am i'm most probably talking Nonsense but i just. gwah. san
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been feeling mad rejection sensitive (or smthn similar) lately and i cant tell if its my upcoming period, or bc i tried adjusting my med schedule (per my doctor's rec) or if im just being all-around moody
#cryptic ramblings#actually tbh i know im being moody in general but thts part of the whole thing n idk where its coming from 😭😭😭#im gonna tentatively blame my period bc thts Usually It but idek. too many shifting factors#anyways im at work and i wasnt gonna be here and i just wanna go home (is a lil over halfway through the shift n taking lunch)#this is part of me feeling clingy n lonely im sure#i just want to be in the company if ppl who dont Have to spend time w me (ie not coworkers or the family members i live with lol)#(ideally my very good close friends or tht Guy™️ lol)#(which speaking of the latter.. i feel bsd messaging him bc ik hes dealing w some personal stuff so i dont wanna jump in all 'ahaha hey😘')#(like i wanna give him time to do what he has to n not like#(make him feel pressured to respond or anything yk??? but i also dont want him to forget im here 🥴 but then i feel clingy!!! my dilemma😭)#(i forgot i couldnt use commas but yk im not gonna retype)#anyways thts enough oversharing on the internet for today 👍 per usual tips n advice welcome lol
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did not ask about quiet hours policy in my room so im debating whether to sleep more or stay awake on my laptop while my phone charges just out of reach
#it's prob fine to take a shower. i am still too nervous to try in case it isnt#idk what the rules are! im new to this group at a hotel thing and for adventures like this i am out of practice#by taking this much time to write a post i am just doing the latter thing anyway#says lol in the best australian accent i can muster#wheeeeee i think my hand pain is too centralized to my fingers for carpal tunnel but im gonna look that up#okay yeah it DOES still sound like carpal tunnel but arthritis runs in the family sO#gripes and tripes#medical /
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