#(make him feel pressured to respond or anything yk??? but i also dont want him to forget im here 🥴 but then i feel clingy!!! my dilemma😭) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

flustersluts · 3 years ago

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hi there!! i've seen some other anons ask u for advice/thoughts so i hope this is ok to ask but feel free to ignore if not/if u dont have the energy lol i'm just Frazzled and looking for insight !!

i'm in a v new relationship, my first ever and i'm 23 so i have gone a VERY long time without experiencing relationship-y things and i have absolutely no idea what i'm doing lol. he is understanding about my inexperience but after our 4th date yesterday i realized he's a lot more... tactile?? and flirty than i was expecting. i am Very easily flustered by all this as u can imagine (being alone and generally non-touchy for 2 decades will do that ig lol) and i genuinely have no idea how to respond/reciprocate?? like it's kind of nice, it's the kind of thing i always dreamed of really! but now that i'm really experiencing it i just feel so awkward and uncomfy and idk how to bring it up without hurting his feelings lol. like, cuddling?? making out??? i don't rly Get It ig, like we would kiss for max like 30 seconds and i'd have to pull back and stop bc it's so overwhelming to me, but he just seems so comfortable and open that i feel bad that i'm not lol. i feel like i wanna become more comfortable with it but i also feel like i need him to take it slower yk??

idk, ig i was just wondering what your thoughts on all this are and whether you had any ideas on how to broach this... i'm clueless lol. (also, sorry for the novel omg)

ok standard disclaimer that im just a little dude (gender neutral) and haven't been in a long term relationship so take what i say w/ a grain of salt - u know ur own situation much better than me!

ftr i think everyone moves at their own pace when it comes to physical affection / flirting and while it's amazing n loads of fun it can also be very stressful and tiring and vulnerable esp. if it's new so you definitely have nothing to feel bad about in terms of not being up for everything yet! it's good you're not feeling pressured into things and that you're giving yourself time to acclimatise.

i also think it's a great idea to communicate this stuff to him. obvs I don't know you or him but it sounds like it's more a question of pacing / taking things slow and I'm sure he'd want you to be comfortable first and foremost, so I would try not to worry about hurting his feelings? from his perspective I feel like if he knows your boundaries he can go about doing things at a speed that's going to be more enjoyable for both of you, and as you get more comfortable you guys will b able to figure out what u like doing together.

basically: bringing this stuff up is definitely scary but it sounds like ur in a relationship with someone who's willing to be understanding and like, once u and ur partner are on the same page abt physical stuff it feels sooo much more amazing even if ur barely 'doing' anything at all

#i hope this is okay i realise on rereading this that #you kinda said 'i wanna tell my partner abt x'#and i kinda said 'yeah you should tell him abt x!'#but i hope that the point i was tryna make came across which is that having these discussions can genuinely be really beneficial for #both parties and that #it sounds like he wld be mature enough to understand that and to modify what he's doing to take it at ur pace and thatl #that'd probably b more fun for both of u #anyway: congrats on the partner he sounds rlly sweet and ur doing great!!! hope this was an ok response im here if u have follow ups or w/#w/e*#flusterasks

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