#but... at least i am getting to talk to ppl face to face outside of my mother every week i suppose

[sh1-n0bu]

imagine dating an older man this, imagine dating an older woman that COWARDS🗣️ imagine being an older woman and having a younger guy astronomically DOWN BAD (for all intents and purposes, this is a joke. i am not an older woman, nor am i shitting on ppl who love aforementioned relationship dynamics, this is just a horndogged thought)

imagine being an older woman, who never really saw the appeal in romantic or sexual relationships, only focusing on what was ahead of you. the job, adventures of life, education, academic achievements and your own personal hobbies, pastime enjoyments and relationships other than the romantic or sexual ones. there was more to world and life than just that after all, even though your friends’ nagging of when you will reveal the secret guy, or when you will find someone to settle down etc rang out during nearly every night outs, surely giving you a grey strand or few. really, you just… weren’t interested at all. there were rarely anyone who caught your attention and those who did were only appealing to the eyes rather than the heart

sure, there were some boys who would saunter up to you at the bar or cafe with their smug little faces and annoying attitudes, talking some shit about how they like their women like a silver fox, talking about how you were a beekeeping age, or even the stupid ‘i like my woman who are as old as my momma’. useless little things being said as a means to get a single night stand. you’d always tell them off with some backhanded insult, sharp words or how this wasn’t the predator franchise

one thing led to another and one of your closest and longest lasting friend had downloaded a dating app on your phone for you. something something about how you were in the perfect age to settle down now and if not, at least go out on a romantic date for once rather than taking yourself out on dates or with the ladies. you decided to humor them, keeping the app and adding very minimum information about yourself, work, hobbies and what not before kicking the acknowledgement of the app’s existence into the back of your mind

many DMs and snaps were sent to you of course, the usual beekeeping age bullshit. the rare few men who would be around your age range would end up being married, had a fiancée or in an odd form of relationship. you made sure to get their partners’ phone number and name before blocking them, calling them or texting them to notify them that their partner was a cheating bastard and had a dating app. “it’s their relationship, not yours!” most would say, but ladies gotta look out for one another in your opinion. made a pretty few sweet friends that way too

it was one of your slow and peaceful weekends when your phone dinged, another DM text in that accursed dating app. though instead of the usual annoying half-assed flirts or dick pics, it was a simple compliment. ‘good eve, ma’am. i just wanted to say that you look breathtaking. have a nice night, ma’am’ was all it said, a reply to one of the pictures you had added to the app for the introduction part. surprisingly straight to the point and respectful, so with a shrug and a ‘might as well give it a shot’ thought, you messaged back with some words of gratitude. something that quickly derailed into a nice normal conversation and getting to know each other texts. checking his profile, you found out that he was basically in the same position as you. forced by some of his friends to grow outside his shell, few pictures and simple descriptions, just a few years younger. safe to say, he was your first match in that damn app

life continued on, weekdays and weekends switching in their endless circle and you and your dating app friend had gotten close. it truly did felt like he was a nice mannered young man and when he asked if you would be willing to go out on a date, you agreed. nothing wrong with putting the dating app to its original intents and purposes. he was sweet, planned nearly everything with your added thoughts and preferences and had let you enjoy a nice dinner date, all freshened up and smelling of a sweet cologne with a decent suit. perhaps this whole dating app thing was a good idea after all, even as he stuttered sometimes and tripped over his words upon seeing how gorgeous you were, you thought of him as oddly cute

one dinner date turned into a few dates, then park, movie and hobby dates and before you two had known it, the whole thing had shifted smoothly into a relationship. things taken slowly at your own preferred pace, no use of rushing or getting down and dirty. it was a good relationship and possibly the best one you had so far, you'd wager. even your sweet boyfriend - as much as you both occasionally laugh and joke how it was unfitting and even a little bit young and childish for your age - had gotten used to this shift in life, comfortable with making you breakfast in bed on the days you have a work off or just sleeping in, making your coffee just the way you like, eggs cooked to fit your needs on a crispy toast, a pancake, with an adorably whipped cream drawn smiley face. it was just perfect

but of course, there were the occasional moments when your boyfriend nearly destroyed these perfect moments — at least, in his opinion. waking up in the morning before you, and seeing your sleeping face, all peaceful and calm with the grey streaks in your hair and the laugh lines on your face did things to him. you just looked so ethereal, basking in the glow of the morning sunlight, like the reincarnation of aphrodite. and before he knew it, he had a morning wood, quickly scuffling out of bed and towards to bathroom to take care of his problem before you woke up

or when you’re showing him the latest dress you bought, or any clothes really, just peacefully showing him what it looked like on you as you twirled in front of him and gods, you were so breathtaking. all he could do was just nod dumbly like the lovesick puppy he was as a weak ‘uh-huh’ escaped his lips. oh, the little pooch of your tummy, the rolls on your sides, the love handle, the hipdip — whatever these things were called, good god, he wanted nothing more than to just slink down from the couch onto his knees and politely ask to bury his face into them. let him touch them, the little fats on your body, the rolls, the pooch. he’ll lovingly caress them and your stretch marks and everything with reverence

or when you’re testing your new lipsticks on his face, applying the newly bought make up on your gorgeous, kissable lips before smooching him on the face, turning him more and more into a painting of your doing while he drunkenly sits there on the couch with a stupid fucking smile. oh no, this one wasn’t kiss proof either, better try all of them and see if they’re kiss proof too. oh he was covered in lipstick? don’t worry, nothing big. he’s just too busy admiring you and occasionally wondering how the color would look in its perfect kiss shape on his leaking dick while you mocked him for being a horny dog

maybe he slipped up one day, instead of thanking you usually with the sweet nickname after you had done fixing his tie for him, just idiotically smiling at you as a “thank you, mistress” dropped from his lips. an immediate freeze and after a moment, his face was turning red with an embarrassed apology after apology while he hid his face into the crook of your neck. not like you minded too much, just laughing and patting him on the back, reassuring him that it was fine, mistakes happened. though, you won’t lie, it was adorable in the sexy way on how he just let that slip out

ever since that little incident, your sweet boyfriend’s longing grew worse and worse. their hands started to wander more, squeezing, pinching and pawing hopelessly against the fat rolls of your tummy or gripping at your love handles with an eagerness of a puppy whenever they came to stand behind you while you made dinner. damn near sliding towards you on their knees to help you put on your shoes before you leave the house for work and have mercy on him if you choose to wear high heels that day, placing your heel between his thighs while his other hand gently guided your leg by the ankle to slip into the heel. he thought he was being slick but no, you caught it all. of course you would, he was damn near whimpering nowadays every time you come home all exhausted and collapse onto the couch, scrambling over and getting on his knees to massage your tired feet while his adam’s apple bobs while staring at your meaty thighs, mindlessly nodding and going “uh-huh” while you ramble about your day while your pretty boyfriend just wishes he was that goddamn stockings, snug around your legs

it was during one of these days that you decided to take pity on him — how could you not? his pathetic puppy eyes had you wrapped around his fingers — moving your leg out of his hands and instead hooking it over his shoulder. pulling him closer by your leg towards your thighs while you shift down more to place yourself closer to the edge of the couch. pretty eyes blinked up at you with a stuttered, “h-honey…?”, hands placed on his knees like the good boy he is while a pretty pink color bloomed on his cheeks. you just gave a roll of your hips on the couch, a sweet smile and a “my thighs feel exhausted too. help me out?” and he was immediately nodding his head vigorously, shaky hands grabbing and gently squeezing the fat while his breath grew shaky. god, he could see the lace edges of the stockings under your skirt now! and even more, he could see your panties. god help him, he was growing hard in his boxers like some stupid teenager seeing a woman’s boobs all over again

“a little bit up” you called out, watching his reactions with the same smile, lipstick covered lips spread wide on your face. your boyfriend whined instead of following through with your words, peering up at you through his pretty lashes. his hands pushed your skirt up, enough to take in your panties and stockings in full view as he gulped down his saliva, muttering out a weak “m-may i taste you, ma’am?”. the honorific instead of your name or the usual patnames just seem to fall from his lips so easily now, eyes constantly switching from your pretty face and colored lips and to your underwear and the fat of your thighs covered by the heavenly nylon

“you wanna taste me, pup?” you hum out, voice like a sweet honey or the finest red wine and have mercy on him, the idiot merely lost it right then and there, ready to lose any sense of dignity as he nods his head with an obedient “yes ma’am, i would like to taste you ma’am”. you simply cooed at his eager words, the leg thrown over his shoulder pulling him closer to the couch, closer to the heaven between your thighs as you balance your feet on his shoulder. he whined again at how you were teasing him, refusing to give him a solid answer and just toying with him like he was a canary trapped in the fangs of a cat. but he might as well be a willing canary that flew into the jaws of the feline with the way he cutely adds a final, “please allow me, ma’am…?” and damn near cheers a loud excited whoop when you nod at him, giving him the green lights

your boyfriend lets out a stuttered breath through his lips when he pulls down your panties, even folding them sweetly and placing them beside your legs on the couch like the sweet boy he is, when he sees your pussy, covered in the same color of bush as your hair. gulping again, he trails gentle kisses up your legs, from the lace ends of your stockings and up the bare skin of your legs, making sure to kiss the stretch marks he comes across before he finally nuzzles his face into your bushy mound. weakly, he licks at your folds, as if this was his first time eating out a woman and occasionally suckling at your clit. he was just so adorable with how he tenderly kisses and suckles and licks at you, like he had never felt the touch of a woman. so when your hands grasps at his hair, scratching at his scalp once before pulling him flush against your pussy, he downright moans against you before diving in like it was his final food. slurping at your wetness and eating you out like you were his last meal while his two fingers pushed your labia open, whimpering out words of “t-thank you, ma’am, thank yo-you for letting me touch you” and “you taste mmgh so sweet, ma’am.. i aamgh l-love your pussy juice s’much”

when you do cum into his mouth after his excited tongue and finger fucking you open, he opens his mouth eagerly to taste every single drop of your sweet pussy juice, already addicted to the taste and scent of it from just a single taste. his fingers continue to massage your soft walls, thumb swirling over your clit in gentle motions while his free hand pushed down on your lower tummy, pleading you to cum again and to get his face wet with your slick like he was some pathetic toy for you. only when you patted his head at last with a “good job, pretty boy” did he pull his fingers away — albeit with heavy disappointment — as he drawled out “th-thank you, missus. i’m glad to be-be of use to my missus” with his lips and jaws dripping with some of your cum. you laughed at seeing that look on his face, pupils blown wide, cheeks flushed and his hair a mess with your slick all over his jaw. seems like your pretty boy was a messy eater

first time writing smut for my female readers, this was truly a shift in my writing ngl. as you can tell from the smuts on my blog, im more comfortable writing for a gender neutral reader, top reader and im sure most — or at least half — of my readers feel comfortable with that norm as well. but lately cough cough a bit of rp on c.ai with cod character bots with my older oc cough cough ive gotten addicted to the thought of being an older woman and having a younger man just whipped for you and decided to challenge myself with writing for a femdom reader. and by younger, i mean within a decade of years age gap, preferably within 5 years even. nothing too serious. hope you all liked this small brainrot and the dividers belong to @/cafekitsune

[dandyshucks]

whyyyy does nobody ever come back to this group fjdkdl they show up once for a first time and then never return !!! its kind of crushing bc some ppl I've been like... excited at the prospect of seeing them again and then they just never show up ever again :')

and I didn't even get to draw anything good while sitting there !!! AUGH

[growling]

*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaoo…. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramatic….. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare… Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic

[infiniteorangethethird]

Every time I see a description of autistics and their routines, esp ones aimed to make allistics understand better, I feel like my experiences as an actually autistic person are completely misrepresented by it. And it's entirely possible that it's just me always finding posts that weren't meant for me specifically, but I've never found anyone talk abt autistic routines and be like "yep, that's me, that's how routines feel to me".

It sometimes feels like that even the most well-meaning of posts or articles or whatever boil down to the idea that, at the end of the day, an autistic person's routine doesn't serve any "real" purpose. That routines are just what we got used to over time, and as such they bring us familiarity and comfort, but beyond that familiarity and comfort they are senseless and pointless. That you should respect an autistic person's routine (so long as it's not harming anyone) - despite it being obviously nonsense.

And to be clear, I don't think there's anything wrong with routines "just" for the sake of familiarity and comfort, and I do agree that you should respect ppl's boundaries even if they don't make sense to you. This isn't the problem. My issue is that every time I take a look at my own routines, I could take each and every part of it and tell you exactly what specific purpose it serves and why it cannot be removed without serious negative consequences.

For example. I tend to eat at the same times every day, because my body sucks at telling me properly when I'm hungry and sticking to time instead of bodily sensations allows me to ensure I eat properly. I always go through my morning routine the same way because "morning routine" is a lot easier to remember than remembering each and every element of getting ready, individually, every morning. I take the same route to work every time because paying attention to my surroundings is extremely taxing, and walking the familiar path lets me turn off my mind and let my instincts instead of conscious decisions direct me.

And this perspective changes why I might be upset about changes in routine as well. It's not just upsetting because it's unfamiliar and scary, it's upsetting because the consequences can be downright painful. If I don't eat on time I might forget to eat at all and could end up in a too-hungry-to-eat spiral that can take days to escape. If my morning routine is messed with I am almost certain to forget at least one step of it, which, depending on the step, can mess with my entire rest of the day (for instance, forgetting to pack my bottle and not being able to drink as a result).

So much of the advice I see floating around regarding these routines seems to be of the belief that they don't actually stem from anything besides habit, and as such the negative reaction to deviation from these routines is purely emotional (and irrational). Even in the better cases that don't just outright dismiss this emotional reaction as something to be ignored, there's still this undertone that the emotional reaction can be culled and autistic ppl can be taught how to be more adaptable and how to let go of these routines, by showing them how to handle the emotional reaction better.

And while I don't necessarily think this is bad advice (it can be really helpful esp as an autistic person to figure out ways to step outside your already rather small comfort zone, so advice like this is actually greatly appreciated), but I really wish there was more acknowledgement of routines that are based on more physical and practical stuff and can't be changed with determination and patience alone. That sometimes the emotional reaction is completely rational and justified, and that some routines can't really be changed without facing some incredibly negative consequences.

[transmascposi]

I feel really isolated because I hardly see any trans masculine positivity posts,,,, The only posts I see,, that are even shared by my own friends,,, are those that are complaining about trans mascs and how we're evil, ugly, and ruining the trans community,,,, I don't know what I did wrong besides simply exist as a trans masculine person,,, I still face misogyny and now I'm facing transphobia from my own friends,,, I even had to block somebody who said 'I have never found trans males to be sexually attractive' and instead of people telling them that's transphobic everyone was agreeing with them,,, I don't know where to turn anymore because everyone hates trans men so badly,,,, plus it's interesting that ppl will say how much they hate trans men but then fetishize our bodies,,,

I feel you. It's so lonely and difficult sometimes. It can feel like the whole world hates you. But I promise it's not like that. There's a lot of people who love us, really.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. You didn't do anything wrong. And even if you did, it wouldn't justify this treatment. You are valid and amazing and you bring so much beauty to the world and to the queer community. I had to cut off a few internet friends who hated on trans men and I don't regret it one bit. If they hate trans masculine people, I suggest cutting these people off. They are not good friends to you.

My advice is to try to spend less time online. The hate is much more concentrated here, and it's much more openly vicious. We certainly do have bad things happening to us in real life, but from my experience at least, the hate online is on another level. There are encounters that we can't really prevent in real life, but you can control the majority of your interactions online. I suggest avoiding the hate as much as you can, even if it means not spending time on your favorite platform. It can seem like I'm stating the obvious and I probably am, but at the same time, when I struggled a lot with online hate on trans mascs, I would keep spending time in trans masc spaces on tumblr that are full of this hate. I think we have the tendency to dwell in the hate, for whatever reason. To reblog it to argue with it, to keep repeating the same points to people who don't care about the truth, to try to counter the lie that trans mascs have it easy by witnessing the hate as a getcha. I'm not saying that you do this necessarily, but I definitely did it.

My second advice is to go out and meet people who understand and support you. A wonderful way to do that is activism. If you can, join your local trans activist group! You don't have to have inspiring speeches on big podiums and argue with people. You can help with small practical tasks — those people are very much needed and appreciated! Or you can find your local queer events and go there. It can be intimidating at first, especially if you go alone, but there's always someone a little bit lost at these events. People get it. Again, it definitely can be very difficult, but try to talk to some trans people there. Or anyone, really. You will find out that there's a lot of people who support and get us. And people who might not fully understand yet, but they want to try and they want to help. Even these imperfect encounters will warm your heart enough to forget a little about all the hate, even just for a moment. And being in activist circles and hearing people say your exact thoughts out loud — oh man it's SO satisfying. These people don't even have to be your friends. I'm trying to be an activist and there are people who I have fun with and who give me a sense of community — yet I don't meet them outside of activism stuff because I know we aren't a good match to be friends. And yet, their existence in my life brings me a lot of warmth. Building community is the key, really.

I wish you the best of luck and strength and I hope you will feel better soon.

[inchidentally]

x. com/ln4norris/status/1785872795974652036 thoughts on this?

this is one of those instances where so many ppl have this wildly different take on smth and honestly myself and the moots I talk to didn't even… realize it could be taken any other way ??

I think part of this is also bc some ppl are pretty new to landoscar so I'll put more effort into replying to this than I normally would bc I genuinely didn't and still don't see this as being some dramatic thing that Lando said!

but for better reference, I've actually compiled the full clips from the person who posted them in their stories originally with two clips of Lando and Carlos separately saying how their F1 buddies are NOT the same as their actual private life friendships bc I think it helps contextualize what Lando is talking about here.

I think the funniest misinterpretation about this is ppl taking these Shared Activities as indicating deep and meaningful friendships and that therefore Lando doesn't have anything deep or meaningful with Oscar… just bc no padel or golf ?? lasjfgsjla

"we don't do as many things away from the circuit [as Lando does with other drivers like Carlos and Max]"

like. in what world is that him saying anything but … that ?? it's not deep ??

esp when it corroborates what Lando said in that clip about how his relationships with the drivers he’s friends with depend on shared activities and that they’re not his actual close friends the way Max F and all his buddies in London are (he even says in the video above that his friends are mostly in London not Monaco!) and Carlos corroborated the same thing!

so for one thing, the reason he's fine with saying this is because he doesn't see it as some huge thing that he doesn't happen to have with Oscar ?? bc it's not some deep meaningful thing that he hangs with other drivers sometimes outside of F1! they're buddies sure but they're not his private life friends. that's normal and healthy !!

but the other thing that's honestly funny is ppl deciding to misinterpret this as either Lando being a callous asshole to Oscar or again, taking rpf too seriously and thinking "yaayyy I can pretend Lando is secretly in love with/has a deep bond with/is fucking [insert driver here] and hates Oscar"

and like Carlos, Daniel and Lando literally have identical bromance formats with each other and other drivers which makes the whole rpf competition thing so hilariously dumb?? they all do the common hobbies thing, the playing gay for laughs thing, the posting every interaction to social media for fan engagement thing, the roughhousing physicality thing - all with at least 3-5 other drivers. and when you count up the like rpf ship points that these people use to say which one is "better" then m@xiel shits all the way on dand0 for bonding and being mutually invested and charl0s absolutely dunks on carland0 for gay physicality and mutual affection and norrib0n comes along and reminds ppl that Alex remains a hero to Lando and Lando still gets starry eyes over him in a way he never will for Carlos or Daniel etc etc etcccc

all of which still end up paling in comparison to the actual, deep relationships these guys have with their girlfriends and with their private life friends! the idea that Lando will ever love a male friend the way he does Max F is like going to a rakes lying down park and stamping around to get hit in the face repeatedly like why would you bother to be that stupid bffr

[sidenote that I am SO glad for Lando to say smth like this video if it drives those fans away from landoscar. no joke. we do NOT want them here and we do NOT want them treating Lily the way they treat Heidi and Rebecca and treated Luisa and Isa. please stay in carland0 and dand0 and whatever else with that l@rry stylins0n misogynistic, closeted gay men as a fetish shit]

the reality is that if Lando was just meh about Oscar and disinterested in spending any more time with him than he needed to then why would he even point this out ? why would he bother to point out - with even kind of an exasperated pout in his voice - that Oscar isn't interested in anything they can spend time together doing if he… doesn't want to spend time with Oscar anyway ??

exactly asfgsajgflagf

and for ppl who are new, literally the reason a lot of us are so Compelled is precisely bc Lando and Oscar don't follow the cookie cutter bromance format and their respect and interest in each other doesn't rely on common activities or playing into fan PR. they're literally the anti-PR partnership not bc they hate each other or have drama but bc every member of their team says how much they've bonded as drivers and that every time we get content of them together they're beaming at each other and seem to have all these cute little in-jokes and softness. but none of it is for show! none of it jumps off the screen or has them knowingly trying to bait fans!

their entire dynamic is for their own benefit alone and both of them have said how happy they are to have their future together settled for so many years. and the whole vibe of landoscar fandom is that we were all fine with the idea of them just being work friends! then Silverstone happened and the Austin filming happened etc etc. and now we're all watching it and writing fic and making gifs and edits bc landoscar is gentle and gradual and sweet and boyish and genuine.

it's been this gradual little dance between two guys who each have a unique preoccupation with each other but they don't do any of the usual blokey things to force a friendship. Lando's fixations on Oscar's name and his hair and how he's taller and bigger than him and the weirdly horny verbal burps that come out aren't something he does with any of his other driver friends. Oscar is so chilled about other drivers and doesn't even do the whole hero worship thing, yet his internet history about Lando is it's own extremely unique thing that has carried over as his teammate in a way he's never been about another driver.

they don't roughhouse or make fun of each other or push each other's buttons for fun and they don't even raise their voices around each other ?? everything is so gentle and not macho at all ! Lando strangely feels awkward and looks right at Oscar to explain why he diverted to visit Daniel with Martin as a spontaneous unplanned thing even though Oscar wasn't even in Australia anymore when that happened and Oscar didn't even feel like it needed to be explained! Oscar learns and adapts to what Lando feels sensitive about and needs some help with and sometimes even keeps an eye out for his physical well being.

and I think something that has kind of been missed entirely is that the context for the latest video was Lando saying how he's always been the youngest or least experienced in a driver friendship dynamic and - as he's said many times before! - he finds the idea of having to be the older experienced leader not at all comfortable!

which leads to smth a lot of us have always found the sweetest part of the 814 dynamic, the fact that Lando realized early on that he doesn't have to Try with Oscar and he can just exist in his feelings with Oscar and Oscar does not push and he does not get annoyed or weird or offended! and that means that Lando is yes, free to be the full range of bratty to sweetheart and everything in between bc Oscar will just smile at him and be patient. but !! it also means that unless Lando uses his words or takes charge, Oscar will remain in that quiet patient position in their dynamic and won't presume to take charge.

so Lando wishes Oscar would be the older one and take the initiative and now he's in a pickle where he's saying they only don't hang out bc Oscar won't share an interest with him and you can see for a second he knows what he's saying isn't true bc they all talked on a fan stage about a padel competition between Williams and McLaren and he remembers inviting Oscar out to golf at the last minute one time and that Oscar only declined bc he doesn't know how to play and didn't want to hold everyone up but ugh !!! like that is SUCH a Lando situation to get himself into and to somehow be mad at Oscar about <3<3

but ever since Oscar arrived with very little fanfare and decided not to draw too much attention to himself until literally recently, when the Alpine drama was finally firmly behind him, he's been so intent on showing his deference to Lando and even as lately as the place swap in Melbourne that he fully understands the driver dynamics within the team and respects it. and the thing is that Oscar genuinely is so happy to wait and see what Lando wants or needs that it would never remotely occur to him to push or insert himself into Lando's social life unless invited!

so yes, being a fan of landoscar is just like this! it'll never be the PR friendly bromance or the l@rry stylins0n conspiracy theory.

and yep weirdly enough for how so many ppl are taking it, this video for us is so sweet bc Lando's publicly muddling around about why won't Oscar do a mutual interest with him but also already having admitted that he's not good at taking the role that he needs to and pulling Oscar along into his social life the way Carlos, Daniel, Max etc have always done with him - all while Oscar is oblivious and doesn't think anything is even wrong ! and oh boy, Oscar being too literal and not being the type to be pushy ends up assuming he's doing the right thing by not trying to invite himself along to anything with Lando!

like, this is how it goes! if you want the whole bromance catering precisely to your ship needs OR you're hunting for huge drama and simmering resentments that turn into huge drama then this is NOT the place for you lasfgalfg

don't get me wrong I eat up the bromances and the doomed drama partnerships too but I just don't find them worth writing all these stupid posts about like I do w landoscar bc those partnerships are what you see is what you get. apparently what gets me going is The Yearning and The Miscommunication.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

8. What sort of disability representation would you consider ideal for you?

11. What is one question, idea, or talking point about [your] disability that you are so tired of?

8. if speak for self n not for entire community! stuff that not shy away from realistic violent ableism n things that make audience uncomfy. want see accurate nonverval high support needs I/DD representation, not shy away from hard stuff but not tell it from entire life tragedy disability tragedy perspective, nor inspiration porn happy all time or secret little genius, or perfect lil saint angel (sometimes we real assholes). show HSN I/DD ppl happy & be okay with disability even when face with inaccessibility. see us date n in love! have sex! learn! be good at stuff!

n also want see HSN I/DD character just exist! outside disability stories.

EDIT oh n!! HSN people who can’t like. do “impressive things” but we still around bc take care community take care of vulnerable people still important !!

n also, just like wheelchair user character be played be wheelchair using actor, autistic character be play by autistic actor… want see nonverbal character be play by nonverbal person, high support needs character play by high support needs actor… which especially HSN I/DD actor, can be quite unrealistic (inaccessibility of acting & set + often our support needs n disability make acting impossible), so really hope when people celebrate “x character play by x actor,” like “(HSN) autistic character play by (LrSN) autistic actor,” we not just celebrate autism part but we also at least talk about how support needs difference power dynamic. because even if there no alternative, have someone autistic but not HSN play HSN autistic character, for example, not automatic make feel less mocked.

so many times see people celebrate some film disabled character play by disabled person!!! n it wheelchair user play by wheelchair user, which absolutely great!! but in same film nonverbal AAC user NOT played by AAC user not to even mention nonverbal person n no one bat eye n. just feel betrayed n ignored by all

11. oof many… why nonverbal about all the time experience n why shouldn’t say go nonverbal or nonverbal episode or sometimes nonverbal… how some people prefer nonverbal over nonspeaking n how they not always mean different thing… how disabled ppl will identify in way you not like even if you also disabled, like severity labels (also how not everything is fucking autism)… how having more support needs than nondisabled not make you medium or high support needs, how struggle more than non autistic not make you level 2 or 3… all ways autistic community awful to people with intellectual disability n also down syndrome cerebral palsy etc many I/DD… how no you can’t “reclaim” r word if you not ID how be bullied not same as systemic oppression… can go on n on

especially tired of these because… it not like they not important but. there so many other important things like how people without functional communication still not getting AAC, how so many I/DD people not get age appropriate developmental milestone appropriate cognitive intellectual appropriate education, JRC still shocking people, how special education often god awful but also next 4 years US lose many protection that keep it in place n lose what little had in first place… n instead of talk about those advocate for those advocate for direct changes, am stuck here talk about these terminology issue over n over n over again.

ask game

[tirfpikachu]

trans activists often forget that it isn't just trans-identified and nonbinary-identified people who can suffer from what they call cissexism or gncphobia. some people who aren't identifying as trans or nonbinary actually may face worse anti-gnc oppression than some people who claim the label, and get talked over by people who have no fucking clue what it's like. they just refuse to stay in their lane.

this is why any label that is nebulous enough for ppl to remain unchanged while identifying as such, and have no specific experience or behavior needed to belong to the group and be able to claim the label, will never be an accurate enough way to decide if someone has been more or less oppressed under the gncphobic/sexist (and of course heavily misogynistic) patriarchy. this is why often non-trans gnc people can be super frustrated by how they're treated by tras as some super privileged group shielded from horrific treatment by gender roles lovers, especially rightwing men. tras can be very out of touch, which doesn't go well with genuine lgbt/feminist activism spaces where we're genuinely trying to make positive change and actually talk through complex issues to find solutions to all the fucked up things the patriarchy has done to marginalized people. especially female/ofab people and people who are actually perceived as female in their day-to-day lives, or people who are visibly very gnc to a degree that pisses off patriarchs. trans/cis are often useless labels outside of denoting people who use different pronouns than their usual sex-assigned pronouns, or people who have dysphoria. otherwise, it gets incredibly vague and often includes people who for all intent and purposes live very gender conforming lives and truly are shielded from gncphobia, misogyny and transphobia/cissexism, as much as they hate to admit it.

the trans activist community claims to be against sexism and against rigid gender roles and all for embracing gnc people, yet gnc people who don't fit neatly in their usual cis/trans dichotomy get told they're either repressed and need the trans label, or they're bigots for saying they do face gncphobia and cissexism, at times more than some trans-identified folks. fighting patriarchal gender roles is more complex than simply identifying out of it. protecting gnc people, whether they identify as trans or not, is more complex than only protecting those who enjoy the label. protecting dysphoric people also means protecting those with reverse dysphoria and advocating for better healthcare in regards to transition, and more support in detransition-related surgeries, laser treatments etc from society. fighting against sexism also includes fighting sexism within your own spaces, and not assuming anyone gnc must hate being in their sex category and aren't female/male coded enough to still align with their sex. it also means discussing how not all trans people actually face cissexism, transphobia, sexism or misogyny irl and they need to learn to be good allies to those who do, whether they identify as trans or not. ofab/female people and transmisogyny-affected people also need to be good allies to one another, and not position one side as inherently less oppressed than the other in every aspect.

y'all also need to learn to respect ALL sexualities, including sexualities that involve the person's sex/"agab" without guilt-tripping or saying conversion therapy rhetoric. trans activists need to be more self-aware and grounded in reality. things are getting really ridiculous and it's why so many tras are peaking and flocking to radblr. it has its glaring issues, ones i am very critical of as are many radfems, but we at least have more tolerance for free speech and nuanced discussions and we absolutely refuse to ignore normalized homophobia against homosexuals (as in the og definition of the term) and blatant anti-female/ofab oppression in tq+ spaces. it can't stay this way forever!!

[eren-dostoevsky]

I love SHINee <3

FOREWARNING FOR ANNOYING INTERNET POLICE: This post is me just using my tumblr page like a diary, yes it's delulu as I am addressing them all individually as If they'd ever see it. So what. I know they wont and I am not pretending to know them personally so don't start with that.

I have nowhere else to put this cause nobody else in real life understands but I just love SHINee so so so much.. I've been a SHAWOL since 2010 and as much as I come to love other groups (MANY other 2nd gen groups, then BTS, EXO, GOT7, Stray Kids, Ateez) none of them can ever compare to how much I love and adore SHINee. I have absolutely been out of the loop of Kpop for a handful of years so I'm not up to date on everything they do but one thing is for sure I will always come back to them and support their careers, solo or together. I love watching them branch out and try new things. Key with his musicals years ago, Onew & Minho in their acting careers, Taemin when he joined SuperM (a bonus to that is having Kai & Baekhyun there too obv), Jonghyun when he hosted Blue Night, and just everything they all do in their solo careers. Music related or not. If anyone was to ever ask me who my ULT group is I wouldn't hesitate and say SHINee. Even if other groups were present, like all the love to other groups but I just love love love SHINee. They are my comfort. My heart.

Lee Jinki. I love your softer vocals and your big heart. Your smile shines so brightly it reaches me over in America. I just wanna hug you. You've always given teddy bear vibes and I love that about you. Never change. I need to get back into watching Kdramas, and i'll start with the ones you're in. If I was ever your friend I'd be right there supporting you with endeavor. Maybe not screaming my support from the sidelines (unless allowed, then I will), but I'd be there.

Kim Jonghyun, I know you're watching me write this you goober. And there isn't enough space on here for me to say how much I love you. I love your honestly, how you wore your heart on your sleeve and put your all into your music, family, friends and the other members. You are a literal angel and you were an angel in human form on earth. I hope to meet you in another life and if I do you BETTER be prepared for me to tackle you in a hug. You've got a couple decades to prepare, sir. <3

Kim Kibum. You sassy mf. I love you but I also wanna scream half the time I see you..doing anything really. We're a little too similar personality wise (as far as I can tell from being a fan, at least) so I think had we been able to be friends you'd be in my phone contacts as "Bitch" with a bunch of heart emoji's. We absolutely would talk shit about ppl while eating expensive chocolates, doing face masks and sipping wine. Id drink it just for you cause otherwise I don't drink. But I love how sassy you are, and that you're unapologetically you. We'd get along so well. Also loving all the 80's synth vibes in your music definitely up my alley.

Choi Minho. You intimidated me at first not gonna lie, but the more I got to know you the more I grew to love you. Just like Jinki you're a big teddy bear who I just wanna hug and boop you on the nose. You're exceptionally talented in everything I've seen you do so far which is unsurprising. I don't like sports, in fact I avoid them but for you I'd like to play with you just to see you smile and laugh (probably as I fail miserably.)

Lee Taemin. *sprays with raid* BACK I SAY. BACK SIR. YOU gave me WHIPLASH when you debuted your solo back in 2014. I was so used to the cute lil taeminnie from before and then BAM. SEXY. And every single comeback of yours still manages to throw me through a loop even though you having mature concepts is not new. Ugh. I love you though. Cause outside of your stage presence you're still taeminnie, the cute lil guy who is shy and loves his cat, and stealing from Key. You do weird shit, but while weird it's still endearing to know you're weird just like me. But Ive never ate bugs so you're alone in that, sorry. If I ever became your friend I want you to be prepared for chaos. I fear we would fuel each others unhinged personality. There goes the other members sanity.

[alucarddear]

follow me down a story rabbithole for a sec

alucard inventing sunscreen for his vampire s/o bc all that education has to lead somewhere

in my mind it starts with the reader as a human enjoying their days with lulu basking in the sun but eventually as they age they get turned so they can no longer (yes I was rereading your fic about reader asking to be turned by adrian what about it) and maybe eventually reader and alucard travel some place where the locals use their own form of sun protection (ie real life example: otjize used by Himba ppl of Namibia) like some kind of paste and studies it to find out what about it protects the skin from the sun and making his own paste you can use to finally spend some time in the sun again <3

Sunlight

Alucard creates a sun cream for his vampire lover. 🤍 [She/her]

Note: Hello, I’m back. This hits the spot just enough, I hope. I’ll be working on shorter, simpler requests such as this for now since I am busy. Sol is the fic anon is talking about. Check my masterlist for anything you haven’t read before.

It pains Adrian to watch his beloved stand by the window and peer longingly outside.

Despite her kind insistence that she is fine and he is all she needs—that she knew what it meant to turn—he knows she misses going out in the day. He knows she longs for the things he can still do but their love had taken away from her.

He would pierce the sun and veil it if he could—if it would allow her to be outside where she loved to be. If only.

With single-minded pursuit, Adrian toiled away in his laboratory for months on end to see his darling bask in the sunshine again. She is his sun, after all, the very light of his life. She deserves that much at the very least.

"It does not suit you to be in the shade all day long, my love," he tells her once he has crafted a somewhat effective sun balm.

“This balm is not going to give you immunity to the sun, I’m afraid,” he patiently explains. “And you do need to apply it rather generously.”

Adrian slathers a thick layer of the balm across her cheek as if to prove his point. She scrunches her nose in distaste, but nods all the same.

“But… it should allow you to be outside for even just a couple minutes,” he finally reveals.

At that, her face lit up like the sunlight that she is, squealing with utter joy. She jumps into his arms and peppers him with sweet kisses, smearing the sun balm all over his face in her excitement.

His little concoction stands no chance against prolonged exposure to the sun, no, but it is enough for her to stand out there and feel its warmth for a bit.

The joy that erupted from her fine features as she stepped into the sun for the first time in years was worth every effort, worth all of it and more.

[rebo-chan]

3, 8, 19, and 21 for Reborn

6 and 9 for Tsuna

Hello anon, thank you for sending in an ask!!! you're sweet<333

Reborn:

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

nonnie ^^" why are you choosing violence against the guy who is both my name and my pfp??? don't you think thats a little mean.... UGHH My least favorite canon thing about Reborn... that he didn't convince Amano Akira to make more content. That I don't get to see him live his life outside of the curse. Many such similar cases.. I ACTUALLY... DONT HAVE ANYTHING.. I LOVE HIM?? EVERY ASPECT??? HE NARRATIVELY DID HIS PURPOSE AND WENT AND BEYOND MY EXPECTATIONS IN EVERY CATEGORY I COULD DOCK HIM FOR.. and hes a funny bitch ontop of it??? im so fucking sorry anon there just isnt anything.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

ANOTHER VIOLENCE QUESTION???? NONNIE WHY ARE YOU INCITING VIOLENCE???? I guess I don't prefer when his relationship with Tsuna is diminished within the fandom.. I think it's the pinnacle of the series and they're the face of it for a reason. Acting like they're somehow wrong for each other or that their relationship isn't as close as we act like? You don't have to prefer it, it doesn't have to be your thing, but I think time and time again its shown that Reborn understands Tsuna deeply and Tsuna appreciates that he's here with him. I get why he has ppl who dislike him, slapstick comedy hasn't translated well into modern day fandom, and hes generally a bit of a cocky mf but I think hes loveable and he shines the best around the Vongola kids when he's mentoring them.

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

NONNIE. ?????????? WHY ARE YOU TESTING MEEEEE. UMM. I.. I think I generally like all of Reborn's relationships in canon?? Everyone seems good to me??? I'm so sorry I JUSTT CANT ANSWER THIS QUESTION??? WHO WOULD YOU PICK????? COME OFF ANON AND DM IT LIKE WHO AM I MEANT TO DISLIKE HERE........

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I really like to play with his descriptions (he's got a lot of motifs to his character that are fun to put into writing as a symbol!) and physical comedy humor. He's a funny guy to write, he just does things and you don't have to explain it, he just wouldve. I also love doing character studies on him, where I explore his thoughts about whatever event. It's!! really fun!!! As for what I don't like, mostly my own insecurity coming through here but dialogue... I have tricks I do in my own writing to try and get character voice down, when it comes to actual writing. But, HES JUST SUCH A SPECIFIC GUY.. HE DOES RANDOM SHIT, BUT HE CAN'T **SAY** RANDOM SHIT. I hope you know what I mean nonnie.

Tsuna:

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Oh, the self esteem. . . . . YEAH ILL LEAVE THAT ONE AT THAT KWAJENGKAJN

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

I would!! I think he'd be really nice to mess with and hang out with. We could play video games and shit talk ppl bringing beans for lunch. Plus, his friends are cool too >.> ... added bonus to getting to know him. The 'my friends are coming over' will be always 100% acceptable.

[nectardaddy]

It was hilarious how you corrected the ask about you being a bad teacher lol

I genuinely have a question for ppl though-

Do they not understand that how you act on your social media or outside of your work doesn’t mean that’s how you act when you’re doing your job???? Like my blog is full of comments abt my fictional men 🥴🥴🥴 but do I act like that at work?? No. Do I act like that around kids (namely my little brother bcs he’s fr the only kid I interact with) no. So like it doesn’t make sense to me

To me that’s similar to the “Oh they have dyed hair so they’re incompetent!” Or “They have piercings and tattoos so they obviously do drugs!” Kinda of people but that’s just my two cents.

You seem like a really fun teacher and I think if I had a teacher like you when I was in school I wouldn’t have hated it nearly as much as I did. You’re making the day fun for the kids based off the stories you tell and treat them like humans which is really important and something easily overlooked by some other teachers and parents. Anyways…that was my ramblings. Have a good day Dodger and I would love to hear more teacher rambles 🥰🫶🏻

-sincerely bakery anon 🍪 <3

I popped off in this I'm sorry lol, I just had A LOT to say about this topic.

I dropped everything to answer this because I love to speak on this topic, despite it being frustrating. But ahhh thank you for enjoying my reply lol!

A lot of people (and I say a lot because it truly is, I have at least 4 parents every year that think similarly to this) think that social media IS REAL. The whole "what you see is what you get" thought process really rings true for a lot of people and it is genuinely concerning. With that though, a lot of people ALSO think how you act OUTSIDE of work describes who you are as a worker as well which is SO STUPID!

I mean, I get it, I am teaching children at the end of the day. I understand there are some things I shouldn't post on a PUBLIC platform with my name attached to it (and I don't) because my students may see it. That being said though, everything I do post that's even a little risqué, especially anything thirst related to fictional characters, is under LOCK AND KEY and completely under a different name (see "nectardaddy" with the pseudonym dodger lol).

As for the kinds of people you brought up, you are 100000000% correct. In my four years of teaching, the parents (and I bring up parents a lot bc they are the adults here, children genuinely don't care and are 9/10 beyond kind and accepting) that give me the most grief about MY behavior think like this. I have tattoos (lots of them), I have many piercings, I have a blue mullet for christ sake lol and there is always someone (an adult parent) who COMPLAINS ABOUT IT??? I have had calls to my principle before that a parent SAW ME AT A BAR AFTER SCHOOL. AFTER SCHOOL!!! Apparently I'm not allowed to do that?? Because apparently to them it was "inappropriate to do that because I'm a teacher." Thank god I have a good principle, she laughed right in that woman's face.

I've also had nasty, heinous comments about my preferences (which isn't any of their business #1 and doesn't pertain to school AT ALL #2) and disgusting assumptions made about me, my past, my husband, and who I am as a person BY ADULTS all because I didn't let little timmy talk to his friend while I was trying to teach him math. (But then when he fails math because I let him talk that's my fault too.) I truly think this mindset comes from simple entitlement and need for control, amongst some other things but I'm not one to delve into politics too hard here.

But, it warms my heart to know that a lot of people, including yourself, think I'm a good teacher! At the end of the day though, I do this (teaching) for THEM. I wouldn't want to sit there for 7 seven hours either so we don't! We go outside, move around, work in groups, we talk to our friends, we're loud, WE'RE LEARNING! I think the worst thing a teacher can do is treat students less than, because they are, although small, HUMAN! As well as many other things, it's my job to teach them HOW to human! How to express emotions healthily, show compassion, learn empathy, know one's self worth, and know that failing isn't an end - it's a step forward in the right direction.

So bakery anon, I want you to know, from a teacher that would've loved to have you in class, YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE AMAZING. YOU ARE SO GREAT. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO AND YOU WILL ACHIEVE GREATNESS. DO WHAT YOU LOVE, DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU YOUR DREAMS ARE SHIT. DREAMS ARE WHAT KEEP YOU HUMAN! NEVER, EVER, EVER STOP DREAMING!

[itshomobirb]

jus a sleepy vent bout chronic illness. sleepy as in im exhausted and laying face down in the sand

what do you mean doing 2 short phone calls + my regular chores + my pared down activities of daily living is over my capacity of tasks. like i do all that a few days in a row and teehee my battery is empty?? from just adding a few 5 min phone calls??? i think my body should explode.

and being housebound is fucking with my social abilities. not that i had that many to begin with (trauma + autism). "oh it's easy to fix, just go out and talk to people :)" "oh have you tried therapy?" yeah ok where am i going to get the energy for that. the only ppl i interact with in-person regularly are the two people who caused my childhood trauma, and their only social skills are yelling and guilt tripping. im turning into a fucking gremlin. a feral cat that doesn't know how to interact with humans.

i wanna be a much better person. i wanna heal from my trauma. i wanna be a good friend to people and actually have the energy to hold good conversations. i wanna pursue my hobbies. i wanna do fun stuff, outside the house, regularly. i wanna be able to spend my days doing something other than just sitting in bed, using 70% of my energy on daily living tasks and 25% on all my medical care & bureaucratic nonsense. i can barely fit a single telehealth appt into my schedule without it completely rocking my shit.

"borb have you tried pacing?" never squeak to me again. ive been sick since 2020 (and arguably before that), i know all the pacing tricks. i do them. what am i supposed to do when they're not enough?

sigh. maybe getting a small manual wheelchair would help -- then at least i wouldnt need to fight gravity as much bc id be permanently sitting. but the house im in is not accessible. ive an electric wheelchair but again, house not accessible. and the energy expenditure of pushing myself around with a manual wheelchair could be higher than what it is to just walk around with my cane. ugh !!

[rowsdowersavesusall]

I’m a chronic TikTok and Tumblr user and the opinions of non-TikTok Tumblr users are interesting. It is very addicting, but so is tumblr. Before TikTok, I couldn’t stay off of Tumblr. It was endless free and diverse information. Discussions of almost all subjects, but you only had a taste of deep and personal, newsworthy, or enlightening stuff every few hours of scrolling.

TikTok gives you these deep and personal, newsworthy and shocking, and enlightening stuff every scroll. In addition, public knowledge is prioritized. The things that particularly strike a chord with people are shared at a better scale than Tumblr could manage. Yes, we had live snail reaction and Castiel confession but TikTok had these sort of events at least twice a day. There were 2-5 new phenomenons a day and one trend every week or so that if you brought it up with any TikTok user they would know what you were talking about.

The personal connections it let ppl have even momentarily happened 50 times a day and were deeper than you could get on Tumblr. Seeing someone’s face and hearing someone’s voice while they talk to you is such a huge part of synthetic human connection I didn’t know what I was missing when I only had Tumblr. I got replies to comments I made every single day.

On Tumblr, I got spoken/replied to maybe once every few months, and even then a large part of Tumblr culture is not talking like you’re having a one on one conversation but hearing someday something and then turning to an audience to give your thoughts on something. I’m doing that right now.

Both of my TikTok and Tumblr accounts are infinitesimal and insignificant. I still got to read personal messages to me. Every. Single. Day. I can’t even rightfully show just how huge a difference this makes.

Starting TikTok I was commenting like once every few weeks because that was just as often as I did on Tumblr getting no replies. I felt barely moved to say something or let the abstract reaction in my head turn into real words and communication. Suddenly i get replied to constantly, and a few months ago I was shocked to look at my comment history and realize I leave about 20 comments a day.

It makes a difference that I don’t have anyone to talk to outside of the internet. I work night shift with no coworkers, I’m not on good terms with family, and there’s no good way to meet ppl where I live. I already see the effects of TikTok on my Tumblr. Despite no connection or communication I am constantly on output. It helped rejuvenate some horribly neglected social skills, but it did not fix any deeper feeling of loneliness because it was all touch and go.

On TikTok I learned about things I never would have heard about through Tumblr. I know because I was looking at both and the difference is so vast. With this also came cohesiveness and actual action. An account alerting ppl to YouTube accounts with less than 100 followers would rally TikTokers to help them achieve hundreds of thousands. An old man with a fishing account tearfully gave a goodbye before he was surprised in the morning with 500,000 followers. Nothing makes ppl feel more connected and strong in their convictions than partaking in a collective call to action, which was far more often due to easier spread of information and no holds barred on personal presentation.

In the beginning I was disturbed by how easily ppl shared info online, and still I believe ppl didn’t fully understand the consequences of having any part of your life broadcasted to millions whether you want it to happen if not. In my mind it’s a machine working in overdrive to bridge all gaps made by the isolation capitalism has put us in. It will never fully bridge that gap, but it got farther than anything we could have hoped for.

I knew about things happening in every corner of the world. Losing TikTok is both a withdrawal from an addiction creating by the horrible and severe isolation and stress being overworked has brought on us, and it’s growing up with a TV and then never seeing a TV again. Sure you still have a pretty diverse town, but it will never provide a close call of the same informational relay. It’s just living without TV of Internet. The world is small again. And maybe that’s how millions lived before us, we for some reason can’t live without it once we’ve had it.

"lol tiktok users would rather learn mandarin than come to tumblr" yeah man that's crazy. who would have thought that people from the video-based dopamine-machine app wouldn't decide to join the text- and image- based no-algorithm website?

[inoriemiko]

Life update time PT1 !!! 🗣️🗣️

So, I've been super paranoid recently in regards to my flat mates, friends and ppl I associate with in school. For the past 3 months, I've been having waves of depressive episodes that would leave me avoiding, burnt out, moody, anxious,stressed and tired all the time and during those times, I'll avoid and maybe sometimes ignore my flat mates.

[Mind you we are 6 total including myself in the flat and we are all on good terms, well, before my serious depressive episodes started. There are 3 ppl upstairs and 3 downstairs. I'm downstairs and so is my long time friend. I'll call him 'Chris'(not his real name btw) and I'll call the antagonist 'Ann'. Ann lives upstairs btw. It's like a share house where I live. ]

Anyways, I'm not sure what I did to Ann, but after my depressive episodes around a month ago, she started acting passively hostile, rude, ignoring me and just generally mean. !!!These are all from my POV btw, she acts nice to others, it's just my experience from my POV!!! I've been bullied before, I've been socially isolated by my peers, I've been manipulated, you name it and she is showing some really clear signs so I am 90% sure my POV is right. Anyways, I've tried to tell Chris but my guy dense AF. He would probably deny it even if it was a physical manifestation. He is nice and g=at, don't get me wrong, and he also didn't tell me I was crazy or imagining things to my face so kudos but he doesn't believe me. He noticed her behavior only like, once and never again.

I have decided to stop telling him, it's no help besides, he is close with Ann now (in a platonic way). I feel like I'm crazy rn, lol. But I know I'm super paranoid. The worst part is that no one else See's it but me so I got no source except 'Trust me bro'. And when I finally got a chance to talk to her, I jokingly asked if she was mad at me and she said she didn't have the time for that (she's in masters so yk) but I don't believe her.

Now I feel this immense hatered when I see her or hear her talking with one of my flatmates, especially Chris. Mind you I DO NOT like Chris romantically. We have been friends since first year, we are in 3rd now. And he's a dear friend to me, or at least was idk if he hates me now or has abandoned me cause of something I don't know about or is irritated by me or somthn idk. He is also the only other friend I have that is still in this entire uni assides from my other friend I sometimes have classes with.

I feel Ann is trying to steal Chris and break my friendship with him. I also feel she is fake, like a pick me girl. I hate her voice. It's so loud. But she pretty tho- Anyways, I hate her, I feel like she hates me too and wants to take everything that is mine, starting from my friends within the flat. Because of this, I have a crippling fear that my flat mates generally hate me and if I hear any of them in the kitchen or outside, I am paralyzed by the fear they would actually reject me or side with Ann and start hating me or mistreat me.

The funny thing is that I had been praying for flatmates/room mates that I would get along with for years now, after years of horrible flat/roommates but when God finally answered my prayers, I messed up. Now I don't even feel welcomed in my own flat. I feel like I'm intruding.

I hate my self so much. I hate everything. I hate my life. I just want this academic year to pass me by so I can leave and never have to see them again. I'm just so tired...

[rachymarie]

I was innocently searching the WorldWideWeb for "how to keep rambling to a minimum as a schizospec" "how to minimize rambling as a schizospec" (let's face it, no matter how efficient or inefficient of a googler i am, it is just hard to find actually helpful results on schizospec things, period. Beyond the usual outdated info from Healthline, WebMd, and even the NHS. Somehow, dare I say it, AI overview has actually been more helpful in that regard??), and came across this comment.

feel kinda offended as someone who is not actively in psychosis but is prone to ramble. I think even my thoughts back when I was going into my first and only psychosis had value and are still reflect issues relevant in my life that meds etc etc couldn't solve.

So (and forgive me for using this analogy for the thousandth time lol) it was like simply slapping a bandaid on a deep festering wound and hoping it would magically resolve itself, despite needing surgery to address the root cause. The root cause being the deep social issues in society that often lead us to psychosis in the first place*, such as: ever-widening rich-poor gap, poverty, mental health stigma, ambulance at the bottom of the cliff healthcare models, housing instability, power imbalance, lack or erosion of employee rights, patriarchy, etc etc (a whole host of issues really)

Tho I admit they may have some grain of truth in that if the person is in deep psychosis in my experience some of what I said probably didn't make a lot of sense to others. At least it made sense to me i guess, and i have explained a lot of the reasoning behind my delusions, thoughts, and spoken words since "recovering".

But like there were a few times that I said things that reflected things going on around me accurately that made mum laugh because I was just saying something that was actually happening. Example: apparently one nurse inappropriately asked me this leading question of: "are you hearing voices?" And I said "yes". When pressed I said "mum's voice" bc she was right there in the room and had been actually talking lol. She made a complaint abt that actually.

Another was the "operations building" - i had a delusion abt there being an operations building outside over yonder where they took ppl from mental health ward to perform evil surgeries on us. Well upon hearing my limited words expressing about that, mum was thinking "this girl has got so many screws loose I don't even know where to begin"- until she looked outside to see, lo and behold: a massive building opposite the hospital labelled "Operations Building".

Whomever smart cookie thought of the idea to place that one right outside the psych ward windows beats me lol.

So we're not actually completely "out of touch" with reality and what is going on!! In fact I provided an insight into the poor planning of building placement lol. Also I was very wary of the tank we passed on one of our group walks up a hill, bc brain decided it was the tank that Elisa Lam died in (despite this being in NZ lol) so that was kinda my brain warning me not to climb up there I guess

*And rarely actually ever get solved