#If it was the reverse then it would be a different story but. ugh. I mean i still wouldve shut it down cause i dont need them-

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Having Tomadachi Life with yourself and your F/Os is all fun and games until it says they don't like you/you have to watch them get hearts over someone else

Uuuhhhh I vent/rant/lose my marbles in the tags just as a heads up. Nothing HEAVY just. Very bothersome

[deandoesthingstome]

Labyrinth Fantasy

Pairing: Minotaur!Sy x Reader

Summary: There's a new hotel in town. You now know it's for real and you need more.

Word Count: 5.7K

Warnings: 18+, NO MINORS, cunnilingus, p in v (standing and reverse standing cowgirl), monster fucking (right?).

Fantasy Hotel Masterlist

You'd recounted enough of the details to convince your online benefactors that the investment was worth it, but kept enough to yourself to make the experience truly special.

Like, you didn't mention the time stretch at all. Though you had been wondering why the hotel even offered longer booking sessions if the hosts could just snap a finger and keep you satisfied forever. You felt only mild guilt about keeping the image of naked human Walter to yourself. They didn't need to know how good he looked NOT as a monster. You were keeping that for you own private thoughts. But you were bemoaning your current funding situation.

sendmeanangel: ugh, I'm never getting back there!!! MNstrluvr: Listen. There's a way. sendmeanangel: how? I can't get any more shifts at the restaurant. MNstrluvr: let us open a Patreon for you sendmeanangel: I'm NOT giving a recount of this event to total strangers darkgothnightengale: you have no idea who we are sendmeanangel: you are NOT total strangers. I know your favorite coffee and what you're studying at uni and your top 10 comfort movies. I know how you got that scar on your hand. darkgothnightengale: yeah but you didn't know that until you asked. Up to then we were total strangers who loved your work. Just like everyone on Patreon will be only they'll be paying MNstrluvr: yeah and you don't have to tell it to them like you told us. Put a different spin on it. Don't make the story from the perspective of the hotel. Make it a true fairy tale. Red riding hood in the woods and shit. Make him your boyfriend, The Woodsman, who's ready to show you his secret this fine full moon evening. sendmeanangel: oh my goddddddd!!! darkgothnightengale: yeah, but put all the most important details of him in Sendmeanangel: you just want to read about his massive cock splitting you open again darkgothnightengale: i have my needs. Besides, I just mean those details you only know now because you experienced it. You have something to draw from, something to make it real for everyone MNstrluvr: seriously, meana, do it. You will make so much money. You should have been putting your other stories out there long ago but this you can post and sell cause it'll be completely your own content with no re-imagining of existing characters sendmeanangel: okay, but you gotta beta the shit out of this for me. I can't have it sounding like I'm just recounting the whole thing from last night's fuck session with my partner MNstrluvr: 😆 🤣 😂 😹 darkgothnightengale: oh my goddddddd!!!! MNstrluvr: anyway we already created an account. We'll add your email and send you the password reset so you can run it and transfer the money to your bank whenever darkgothnightengale: and as always, no pressure on timing other than knowing you need the money to get back to Walter but I can't wait to read this! sendmeanangel: what if he's not available?

As you clicked Reserve something caught in the back of your mind.

Would Walter care you weren't coming back to see him?

How could he? You spent two hours (or was it more? You could never figure out the time swap calculations) together. You weren't even sure if that was his real name. Sure, you fantasized about him when you got home. You'd been in a fog of post-orgasmic bliss when you saw him in his human form, but that didn't stop you from cataloging every inch you could. Imagining snuggling next to his enormous and furry body wasn't hard.

It was this domestic bliss scene you'd eventually settled on as the opening to your "boyfriend's werewolf confession during an evening walk in the woods" fic that you posted on Patreon. The feedback had been a dream come true.

While the income wasn't as plentiful as you'd hoped, the wages and tips from your extra shifts allowed you to book another stay the following month. Walter was indeed not available on your only open day of the week so you sought out another option and found a four hour time slot with a new-to-you creature.

The listing called him Captain of the Guard.

Something about this fantasy made you select the box at check in specifically requesting your host enter in form. You had missed this at your previous visit, and as you thought back to meeting Walter, you appreciated the gentle way he eased into the scene. But you wanted a little more…mystery? Suspense? apprehension this time. The front desk clerk told you your host's name was Sy, and sent you down to a lower level of the hotel. The only key he provided was the code you punched into the elevator number pad to allow you to press L3. 

When the doors opened, you entered a small, rustic room with a hard dirt ground and cool stone walls. You only saw one other door besides the elevator you just stepped through and your mind did some mental gymnastics. Was that the exit to the maze or a bathroom? If it was the bathroom, where was the maze?

A few benches were scattered around and sitting on one was the Offering Tray you purchased, along with a note telling you to dress or undress to your level of comfort and step out into the hall through the door opposite the elevator when you were ready. Okay, door to maze then. But your nervous pee sensation was building. Where was the bathroom???

You knew the elevator was locked after you exited the car, but the note also contained the return code you were welcome to use any time, even before your reservation was over. And the note also revealed the secret to locating the washroom around the corner of one of the walls that you now noticed didn’t quite reach the next wall, causing a little optical illusion that the room was a simple square with no other space. Clever. It reminded you of a scene from a fantasy movie you’d seen when you were younger.

You peed and then undressed for a quick rinse in the surprisingly warm shower. You had imagined the temperature of the liquid streaming over the mini waterfall in this rock room would be ice cold, but it was as if the water was heated to a constant, perfect temperature from a thermal spring. The floors were warm on your bare feet too. You almost had to tear yourself away. There was a fantasy to be had.

You hung your street clothes on the garment hooks and pulled your red cape from your bag. You had researched a few different costume options and came across a clever way to fashion a toga of sorts from the material, albeit a slutty red toga with a giant slit up one thigh. You didn’t bother with underwear this time either. After one last look in the mirror to make sure your nerves weren’t showing too badly, you gathered up the offering of cured meat and stepped into the hall.

The rough hewn stone walls were at least three feet higher than the room you’d just exited. You noticed shelves jutting out occasionally at various heights and made a mental note not to run into them. Not that you planned on running. The ground was soft and sandy, rather than hard packed earth. Even in bare feet, this was going to make running hard. Again, not that you’d planned on running. 

Now, which direction? Left was always your gut instinct so you followed the path in that direction, choosing a left turn anytime you came to an intersection. After dead-ending twice in about five minutes, you began to rethink your approach. While you figured it had be wise to build in some extra time to find your treasure, you didn’t want to spend four hours in a fucking maze alone. 

As soon as you made the next right, the air shifted. The hairs on the back of your neck stood at attention and a ripple of goosebumps grew up on both arms. You made a few more turns before you began to hear snorts and huffs in the distance. For a moment, you froze, unsure if you wanted to move toward or away from the beast. Not because you didn’t want to meet the beast. But only because you truly couldn’t decide how. Sneak up and surprise him? Or let him chase you?

A new roar announced he was getting closer and you made a snap decision to turn away. Let him find me.

You maybe delayed the introduction by a few minutes. He was adept and clearly knew this maze inside and out while you were still trying to find your footing. You were just about to turn a corner that looked surprisingly familiar when you felt a rumble and the sand shift beneath your feet before you heard a snort and few stamps on the ground.

“Turn around.” Though a command, it came out like a question and you knew this was yet another opportunity for you to provide your consent to the game. Keep walking forward and it would all be over. As a matter of fact, you were convinced your next step forward would take you to the hall where the door to your changing room was. Your turn was deliberate. So was the flash as the cape swished around your legs and settled back into place. Give him a show, you smiled inwardly to yourself, before you wiped that grin right off the face in your mind and dropped your jaw instead.

Before you stood a monster of a man/beast, which explained the rumbling of the ground. You noticed the hooves which explained the stamping sound. As you drew your eyes up his solid and thick legs, you were a little disappointed to see he was wearing a heavy pleated leather skirt which hid any hint of what might be hanging underneath. His biceps bulged and thick veins trailed down each forearm. His chest was broad and teeming with unbridled strength, bare and full of the fur you were hoping to find.

Walter wasn’t the first hairy man you’d been with, but he definitely made you appreciate it more and this beast sported a similar amount. As your gaze met his, you took in the visage of a bull’s head, noticing the ring you expected to see in his nose was not there, but the horns near his ears were. They were massive as well and you had plans.

“Who dares enter my labyrinth?” he demanded as he sauntered ever closer to you. “What little bird has been flitting through these halls?”

You gave your name as you held out the tray in front of you, but he simply stood before you, motionless, save his eyes which roamed over every inch of you. When he returned his gaze to yours, he cocked his head to one side.

“And what am I supposed to do with this?” he roared, obviously unsatisfied with the tray of meat. Did the hotel make a mistake? “Maybe you’re playing a game with me? Is that it? Interrupt my peaceful solitude and taunt me with a delectable offering only to hide it behind a curtain of fabric and an offensive tray of inferior flesh?”

“I … I didn’t know… I didn’t think…” you stammered. Your heart was beating furiously, though he hadn’t taken another step toward you and you weren’t exactly trapped. You were more convinced than ever that if you wanted to escape, the entry room and the elevator were just around the corner. He was giving you time to acclimate to your decision to stay, making sure you weren’t having second thoughts. Though he commanded this hall in this maze, he was letting you call the next shot and you knew you were in no danger. Well, none that you didn’t want.

You set the tray on a ledge nearby, and grabbed fistfuls of your robe in both hands, lifting the material enough to give you the feeling of freedom around your lower legs. Just in case. Not that you were planning on running.

“In this labyrinth, the offerings are usually a little more respectful. Would you like to try your offering again?” Something about his words, the way he cocked his head again, the subtle pawing at the ground, as if he was about to rear up. He wanted you to. 

You licked your lips, and nodded. Took one more beat. Then turned and ran. Past the door to the changing room, up the hall to the right, left down the next corridor, then right again. Left. Left. Left. Right. For a moment you imagined he wasn’t right on your tail and then you hit a dead end and he descended on you as you turned to try to escape the hall thinking you might have enough time to head in another direction. Well, around you really. His arms caged you against the wall behind you.

He was so close. His musk was intoxicating and the scent added a little more fuel to the fire already burning in your loins. You peered up into his eyes, which you now noticed weren’t jet black, but rather a deep, dark azure. 

“That’s better,” he chuckled. “The offering is always sweeter after a little vigorous activity.”

“I’m so sorry,” you spoke. "I had no idea the offering I was given wouldn't be to your satisfaction. I should have anticipated better for a creature who commands such obedience and reverence as you."

“The tray isn’t the offering, little bird,” he huffed near your ear as you felt a hand drop from the wall beside you to your shoulder and then down to the pivotal point on your costume. One little tug, and, yep, there it went. The makeshift dressing had held up surprisingly well on the chase, but it was designed to come off easily and that it did. He made an approving sound, tracing a finger over one breast and down the valley between both, nearing your apex before he dragged the back of that hand up your belly and around your waist, ending with a firm grip on the meat of your hips.

“What…what is the offering?” you asked, with feigned timidity, as if you didn’t know what he meant. His arms moved to circle your waist and his hands slid to the creases beneath both now bare cheeks.

"I'll take this peach instead," he snorted with what you perceived to be a wink and a grin. He jiggled the flesh of your ass and grinned wider as he caught the moan of pleasure you tried to suppress. "You don’t need to fight it little bird. This is why you're here. To let go of inhibitions and feel free to express your feelings and desires with no judgment. If you like someone paying attention to this luscious cake, you shouldn't have to feel like you have to hide it."

The exchange felt a little out of character for the scene, but you didn’t mind. The chase was fun, but it was going to be even better finding out how this man would take care of your needs. So you let him know.

"Fuck. It feels good to have you touch it. Most men just go straight for the pussy and ignore the pleasure I get from the tease, the idea of you..." you trailed off, uncertain if you wanted to broach that subject here.

"Oh, it's just an idea, huh? Nothing you want to try? Isn't that why you're here?"

You thought about Walter and wondered if Sy was as well endowed under the fabric covering his loins. Surely the beasts at this hotel were all inordinately adept at providing pleasure; that was after all the entire theme. And maybe there were other ways to pleasure a person, and maybe this hotel had them too, but you couldn’t begin to imagine that the size of Sy’s cock wasn’t proportionate to his stature. You weren't quite ready to feel that in your ass.

"It's alright, little bird. We're here for whatever you'd like,” he answered without you even saying a word.

“Can I call you Sy?” you asked, unsure how committed to the bit he’d be.

“Of course, darlin’.” That was an odd Texas drawl that had just overridden the previous enigmatic accent you assumed was meant to convey ancient Greece. He kept the twang when he saw your surprised eyebrow quirk. “We can take this play anywhere you want to go. Though I’m going to make one choice for us.”

He bent to scoop you into his arms, cradling your legs and back as he held you against his chest. You could feel his heart pounding and wondered if he could feel yours, too. You took some slow deep breaths to try to calm yourself.

For a brief moment, you nestled your head against his neck, relishing the feel of the fur against your cheek. Then you turned your head to pay attention to where he was taking you. You figured you would need to make your way out of this maze alone after being well and thoroughly fucked and somehow you imagined you'd still have enough brain cells to remember the path he was taking.

But Sy wasn’t going backwards to any open hall. Instead he was making his way directly into what you took for a dead end. Before he crushed you against the wall, as you were sure he was about to do, Sy stepped through the wall. Sort of. Through another optical illusion that proved the dead end was actually a T intersection.

Sy took the left branch and in a few short strides, you found yourself in a room filled oddly with accouterments of pleasure. A platform bed covered in softness in the middle of the space was an inviting contrast to the sandstone walls you'd acclimated to. In a few spaces, what appeared to be fur rugs hung against the walls. Straight ahead, covered in dozens of warm glowing candles illuminating the room along with hanging oil lamp pendants, sat a wooden altar. Bowls draped with mounds of luscious looking fruit and plates of cured meats and cheeses were nestled in between the candle holders.

As you looked around, you noticed no other entrance to the room, though you kept missing the non-obvious openings, so who knew? The markings on the wall and other accompanying furnishings led you to believe you were not just in some other hall of the maze. You were now in Sy's sanctuary. You’d found, or rather Sy was going to show you, the treasure at the middle of the maze. 

Sy set you on your feet and stepped back, as if judging your temperature again. 

“Is this where I meet my fate, then?” you asked, with a shy smile.

“You’ll die a thousand little deaths in here,” he promised, returning to the previous accent, and you noticed now a tail swishing behind him. You hadn’t seen that before, but it seemed…excited.

“Sounds amazing.”

With that he rushed you as if you still held the red cape as a target. In what felt like one fell swoop, he bent to capture your hips and swing you forward over his shoulder as he turned and took a few steps toward a fur-lined spot along a wall and none of those movements jostled or startled you. It was as if he was picking up a piece of cloth, the ease with which he maneuvered you and held you stable so nothing hurt. Not his fingers in your hips, not your hips over his shoulder, not your back as he held you captive, pressed against the wall of the hidden sanctuary.

“Walter said you smelled delicious and tasted even better,” Sy huffed with hunger.

Did they talk amongst one another? That hardly seemed ethical. And yet, you’d gossipped and dished about this place and the man you’d met previously. Why would you assume he wouldn’t do the same?

“So that’s the first thing we’ll take care of here,” he continued as he dug his massive thigh into the moist heat between your legs and huffed breath onto your neck. His hands traced the length of your body, down both sides, over your belly, onto the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

In a heartbeat, he had you off the ground, legs spread wide as he continued to trap you against the wall. You tried to hold onto his beefy shoulders for stability, but soon realized he wasn't done lifting you up as you lost purchase.

You were sure you'd be tumbling forward onto the sandy ground in front of you as soon as you cleared another foot of his body, but somehow you remained upright. Well, ‘somehow’ was known but you were still amazed at the raw strength and power Sy possessed to hold you aloft and continue to elevate your body.

With one final shrug, he had your naked form where he wanted it. Legs over shoulders and pussy right at his face waiting to be devoured. You'd had men, including Walter, in between your legs before. A few times when you were upright, and that always put a nice checkmark next to their names in your book. But never while hoisted six feet in the air.

The thick swath of muscle that ascended through your folds filled you with a warmth you had been craving for weeks. Sy somehow managed to manipulate the shape as well, so that he alternated between targeted tight circles with a tip and wide saliva drenched passes that were soon mingling with your own juices.

You had the distinct impression that the wall behind you was for your benefit only. A way to make you more comfortable and secure in the knowledge that he wouldn't let you fall while he was feasting at the altar of your thighs. That he had the ability to hold you upright all on his own while he ate you out.

He made you come at least three times with your back arched against the wall and crying out for relief as you pressed into his head to hold yourself steady, even while he supported you with a hand cradling your ass and another secure against your side. You had wanted to grab his horns, but something told you to stop and wait until you could ask permission. It didn’t seem polite to just grab at them without warning.

“Please, Sy. Please fuck me now,” you pleaded and he skillfully obliged, though he took his sweet time getting there.

He took a few more licks, sucking in the moisture dripping from your pussy before he began to ease your legs off his shoulders, down his body, and around his waist. He settled you there while he reached back to unhook his skirt and drop it to the ground. Then he knelt, still holding you against the wall, and shifted your legs down to rest on his thighs. This gave you an opportunity to peek down and see what he was working with, and not that you were at all surprised but it was still a bit of shock.

A strap of leather remained wrapped around his waist, traveling down both sides of his Orion's belt with the ends connected to a ring that sat stuffed behind his cock. While you contemplated just how long it would let him last, he worked an especially large condom onto his massive member, drifting a knuckle through your folds at every opportunity, given the proximity. He grunted and grinned each time you rolled your hips against his fingers, eagerly seeking more pressure, more depth, more everything.

“Patience, little bird. We’ll get there soon enough,” he warned as he finished affixing the rubber. You watched rapt as he held himself firm in one hand, tugging with the same languid pace he also used to trail his fingers from the other hand around your entrance, flicking at the hidden pearl up top and pressing his thumb deep inside you. It was killing you, but this was not one of the little deaths he had promised and you contemplated telling him so. 

As if he could tell just how impatient you were becoming, he finally spread your puffy lips wide and began to nudge the tip of his cock at your soaking entrance. A gasp was all you could manage as he moved to standing at the same time, easing your legs back up around his waist again.

Sy moved into you inch by glorious inch, pausing every so often to make sure you were comfortable. It was certainly not something you were accustomed to, but the feeling was familiar and you knew now he was at least as large as Walter. This was going to be fun. When he was almost seated you asked.

“Sy?”

“Yes, little bird?”

“May I touch them? Hold … hold onto them?”

“Yes, little bird, you may.”

You used the leverage of your grip to drive your hips down the rest of the way onto his colossal cock and willed your inner walls to ease around him. A heat filled you, a desire to grind against him, but he stilled you. Made you sit with the enormity of the situation for a moment while he palmed a breast, rolled a nipple.

“Please, Sy, please. I want you to move. I want you to fuck me into this wall. Please.”

He didn’t make you beg another time. He was slamming into you and somehow rotating his hips in such a way that you felt him in every muscle and nerve in your body. It felt electric and vibrant and you wanted to explode. Sy let you. Fucked you right through it and into the midst of a second one before you could open your eyes again. 

You were grinding against him, pulling your body up and pushing back down using his horns to guide you and you were coming hard around him again. His laugh was infectious and you let one out with the third little death in this position. 

Suddenly, he spun you away from the wall. For a moment you thought he was heading for the bed, but he lifted you off his cock, then turned you around. He held you against his chest with one arm around your waist as his other hand guided his throbbing member into you once again.

You threw your arms behind you to grasp at his neck as if you needed to somehow participate in keeping yourself steady against him, but he could handle you all on his own. He had your legs splayed wide, an arm under each knee, and he drove up into you as if it was nothing. And while you didn’t need to, you absolutely wanted to slip your hands up a little higher, off his neck, over the back of his head and right back onto those epic horns. 

You smoothed your fingers over the bone, into the curl, and held on. It could have been your imagination, but his grunts and snorts seemed to magnify as you did so. Maybe he really liked it? Before you had a chance to consider dragging your fingers along the form again, he hit you with another deep wave of pleasure that had your eyes rolling back into your head as you slumped against him.

And it was like he knew how much more you had in you, because he just kept fucking you right back into consciousness, at which point you did gather your wits and give his horns a few more sensual strokes. It was his groan that told you he was close and you were helping him along. It only took a few more thrusts before you were coming hard around his dick and it seemed like he was letting loose with a roar, too.

He eased his phallus out of your sweaty, quivering body and moved forward to deposit you on the bed, admonishing you to stay put before he disappeared behind another secret wall. You heard water rushing and the sound began to lull you into a light sleep that only the warm, wet cloth pulled you out of.

“Don’t open your eyes just yet,” he spoke, his voice a little less gruff than before.

“I was promised a thousand little deaths,” you teased, unable to move your eyelids or anything else for that matter. His laughter lifted your heart.

“Oh, you want more? Looks like you’d scatter in the wind like a dandelion if I put my cock in you one more time.”

“I wish you weren’t right,” you joined him with a light laugh of your own. “Maybe if I could get a little nap…”

“Unfortunately, time has been flyin’ while we’ve been having fun. Don’t think you’ve got enough left for that.”

You peeled your eyes open, curious about his statement. You hadn’t meant to imply he should give you more time and you were embarrassed that he might think you were being pushy, demanding. You were not prepared for the sight of the man in front of you.

Where Walter’s shift had given him just a little extra height and bulk, not that he needed it to maneuver you around the room, Sy’s return to human form was dramatic. And not that he wasn’t massive in his own right, but the size of the beast that had just fucked you senseless was even more apparent comparatively. You could see he was solid, tree trunks for thighs and branches for arms. His shoulders were wide, chest broad. All the things you’d noticed of the bull, but just scaled down. And still incredibly daunting. 

“S’okay I shifted back?” he asked with concern.

“Of course, whatever you… I mean, this is all so new to me. I have no idea what’s allowed. And how much time…” Was what you were thinking about within bounds? “Has it really only been almost four hours? How much time is left? I think I assumed…”

Sy gave another chuckle as you trailed off.

“Yeah, he musta really liked you from the get go.” At your quizzical gaze, Sy continued. “We don’t all have that gift. Walt’s one of the few. And he uses it sparingly. It’s not really a sanctioned hotel offering. If everyone could and did, we’d get nothing but two-hour bookings.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to… I mean, I hope that didn’t sound like I was demanding any special treatment or anything.”

“You honestly still don’t look like you have enough strength left to demand a deep breath,” Sy teased. “Here, lemme give you a hand. We’ll get you cleaned up for real.”

He scooped you off the bed and carried you into the bathroom, outfitted similarly to the entry room. He placed you gently under the warm, rushing waterfall before sudsing you up with a shower gel that smelled surprisingly like something you already owned. You watched as his hands slid over your body, easing the soap down your legs and guiding the water to rinse you off. 

“Sy,” you began, wondering if you should even bring it up, but as he stood to grab a towel for you, the shape you thought you’d seen as he washed you was even more apparent. “Is it allowed? Do we have time … Can I…help you with this?”

You reached for him, circling a hand around his obvious erection and tugging gently. His eyes closed slowly as he dropped his head back with a deep sigh, before he wrapped his arms around you and drew you to him. He put a palm against your cheek and tilted your head to train his beautiful blue eyes on yours as he spoke.

“It’s technically not allowed.” Your heart sank at his words. “But Imma make it good for you one last time anyway.” 

You let the towel drop to the floor as he lifted you to move back out to the bed. He set you down and you watched him climb onto the mattress, expecting him to grab a condom and crawl over you, or flip you over. When he settled himself between your legs, it wasn’t his cock that penetrated you. Sy put his mouth over your pussy again and the moan that escaped his throat had enough vibration you were sure you could come from that alone.

He was better. He was unbelievably better than Walter at this. It wasn’t something you were particularly proud to be thinking, but truth was where you found it and this was the truth. Sy was skilled and all the tricks he used in Minotaur form, he used here as well. You were squirming within moments, grinding up into his face and grabbing onto his freshly shaved head to help keep him where he’d do the most damage in the quickest amount of time. Not that he needed your help, because he was fucking good at this. He knew how to use his tongue and lips and, yes, teeth, gently, and yes fingers, deep and deft. And if you weren’t mistaken, he was squirming, too. 

You could see his ass wiggling and humping into the bed and if you weren’t losing your own damn mind you’d have noticed his hips stuttering as he came into the mattress right around the time his fingers landed back on the spot that, in combination with the movement of his tongue, had you screaming his name.

He let you linger in bed a moment, catching your breath while he slipped on a pair of white, slouchy linen pants before he held out his hand to help you off the bed. 

“Here,” he pulled the sheet around you with a soft chuckle and a grin. “This’ll be more comfortable than traipsing back to the elevator naked. I’ll show you the way.”

Sy led you back to the entry room, stopping along the way for a small detour to find your discarded cloak down the dead end hall. You swapped material with him as he deposited you outside the changing room and wished you a wonderful day.

“Come back and see us again, sometime. It was a pleasure,” he tilted his head at you as you stepped backwards into the room.

“The pleasure was all mine,” you replied.

“Don’t be too sure about that, now.”

Bonus Edit: Absolutely GORGEOUS headers made for me by my wonderful friend in fic @geralts-yenn:

Everything HC Taglist: (as always, let me know if you want on or off)

@sillyrabbit81 @mayloma @geralts-yenn @raccoon-eyed-rebel @fvckinghenrycavill @kebabgirl67 @beck07990 @itsrubberbisquit @sweetdreamsofgelato @liveoncoffeeandflowersss @alexakeyloveloki @marantha @aireraume @angelmather1 @lizzystuffsthings @enchantedbytomandhenry @omgkatinka @littlefreya @avengersfan25 @just-chirpin @thesaucynomad @valacirca @henryownsme @summersong69 @foxyjwls007 @peyton-warren

Special tag: @kittenofdoomage (cause sometimes you love my stuff and this one's another monster fucker lol!)

Tags from Werewolf!walter (if you commented):

@ellethespaceunicorn @juliaorpll78 @martha-oi @cardierreh15 @cinnamoroll-things @caramariehurst @zombicupcake3 @openup-yourmind @shellyshellshell @nickfowlerrr @greensleeves888 @misshinson @thelastsock @princessaxoo @augustsprincess @justjulie1105 @minimin1993 if you asked and aren't here, Tumblr won’t let me tag you. Sorry!

[melbatron5000]

Minisode connections, again

I'm working on decoding the chiastic structure of Good Omens season 2. It's taking a long time because there's a bunch of crap going on -- not the least of which is I think I found two different structures, so that's fun -- also, I have to work and do human stuff, so I can't just sit around working on Good Omens all day, every day.

But something I noticed while counting beats to find the middle (middleS, plural, but that's another meta):

It's already been pointed out by others that the magic act in the Nazi Zombie Flesheaters minisode echoes the Big Break Up and Kiss scene -- which it certainly does.

But the Restoring Job's Kids to Life in Front of a Bunch of Angels scene also echoes both of those scenes.

First and foremost, they are all around sixty beats long. (About the same rate as a resting human heartbeat, interestingly. What else is 60 beats per minute, I wonder?)

Second, in each scene, something (someone) signals the start of it. In Job, the angels applaud just before Aziraphale enters late. In 1941, Mrs. H tells Aziraphale to get on with it. In the Kiss scene, the Metatron tells Aziraphale to go and tell his friend the good news.

In all three scenes, Aziraphale enters stage right and turns to his left.

In Job, Crowley murmurs to Sitis, "trust me." In 1941, Aziraphale mouths to Crowley, "trust me." I think in the Kiss scene, "trust me" is more implied by both of them. It starts out murmured, then gets mouthed, and by the end, is unspoken entirely.

In all three scenes, Aziraphale explains to Crowley what needs to happen. "It would be really helpful if you were an expert on human births. Gabriel here witnessed the first human birth." "Aim for my mouth, shoot past my ear." "He said I could appoint you as an angel."

In all three scenes, Crowley takes a shot and Aziraphale backs him up. Job: "Reach into his robes and pull out three ribs." *Aziraphale miracles the kids into kids again.* 1941: *Shoots the gun at Aziraphale* *Aziraphale catches the bullet* *Kisses Aziraphale to give him the records from Heaven.* "I forgive you."

All three scenes end with Aziraphale having successfully fooled his audience.

Now, I already figured out that the scenes that are supposed to parallel the Resurrectionists minisode are missing. Even Crowley knows they're missing. Time has jumped forward past some important events. I don't know what was supposed to happen to echo Resurrectionists, but something is, and it's gone. I think it matters, though. Otherwise, why would we have this:

All three minisodes on the matchbox. The box itself is from the Resurrectionists pub, it has a verse from Job on it, and the verse is 41:19 -- or, if you reverse the numbers Verlan style (which is like Pig Latin, but what they do in France -- thank you @noneorother!) 1941. I strongly suspect the verse itself may very well have to do with the missing scenes that should mirror the Resurrectionists minisode.

But I wonder why Job, 1941, and the Kiss all line up and echo each other, while the Resurrectionists is the odd one out. I feel like whatever scenes have been jumped over probably line up with something big and important that happens elsewhere in the story. Threes are very important in storytelling, a rule that should never be bent or broken. I really wonder HOW the missing scenes got jumped over -- did God do it? Did Aziraphale or Crowley do something which caused it? Given how Crowley reacts to it happening, I would say if so it was inadvertent. Is time out of whack for some reason? It keeps jumping forward, why is that? Did someone else force them past the missing scenes? Ugh, I don't know.

Several people have pointed out to me now that the 1941 minisode has a lot of wedding night symbolism in it, and I see that the Job minisode has a lot of first date symbolism in it, too! Ha! Including Crowley and Aziraphale out in the desert by themselves when they encounter Job talking to God -- what the heck were they doing out there? Making out, maybe? Is that why Aziraphale comes rushing in through the door late when the other angels arrive? Busy smooching your new crush, Aziraphale? The Kiss scene seems to be a divorce, but it's actually a long-married couple who can read each other like a book being forced apart.

So if Job is a first date, and 1941 is a wedding, and the Kiss is a (forced) divorce, what is the Resurrectionists? What comes between a first date and a wedding? Traditionally, in love stories, a break-up has to come between those things. But other than Crowley being dragged back to Hell and forcing them separate, and then their argument over the holy water when he comes back, I'm not sure I see Resurrectionists as representing a break up. Does it? Maybe . . . ? And maybe more important, what comes after a wedding but before a divorce? Would we say kids? Mundanity and boredom? Infidelity? Given that it's a forced divorce, I wouldn't say those last two things. But kids then? What else could it be? Hmm.

Does the Resurrectionists minisode and whatever its missing echo is have to do with that progression in a relationship? Or given that Job, 1941, and the Kiss all echo beautifully and Resurrectionists does not, is that something outside their relationship and the progression of it?

Anyhow. More investigative work to be done here.

In between doing alive human stuff, I'm on the case.

[fangirlingpuggle]

So more thoughts on Jack and Omi alignment swap AU (other posts are here 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5) and if canon and AU crossed over. Sorry this is rambley and long.

So canon monks, Jack, Wuya, Chase and Dojo are all transported to AU while another fight at the temple portal appears and they all fall through only to see a different Jack in temple robes with black coat and goggles on over with Dojo around his neck.

Everyone from canon is just so confused and Swap!Jack is like

Swap!Jack:IT WORKED I told it would work Dojo

Swap!Dojo:I never said it wouldn't work I said you shouldn't do it

Swap!Dojo: God this is just like Dashi

Swap!Jack: Thank you!

Swap!Dojo:NOT A COMPLIMENT!

Everyone confused, even more so when other monks come in and then Wuya of all people who just stares at alternate selves and then takes a deep breath "Jack...The FUCK?"

Swap!Jack explaining about dimensional shifting Wu

Swap!Wuya "Why would you make this?"

Swap!Jack "....to see if I could"

Swap!Wuya "You are the second coming of Dashi what I do to deserve this?"

Swap!Dojo "Other than the trying to take over the world multiple times things"

Swap!Wuya"Ugh loads of people have tried to conquer the world and they don't have to deal with Jack"

Of course Canon Wuya is freaking out over Swap Wuya

Wuya: YOUR XIAOLIN WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU"

Swap!Wuya: Please i'm neutral at most

Wuya:....

Swap!Wuya:That's my story and i'm sticking to it

Omi's asking where alternate him is and the swap monks recognizing him and being like 'WTF how are you a part of the team or even Xiaolin... I mean your dad allowed that?'

Omi just confused he doesn't have parents and all the swap Monks are just looking between Chase and Omi trying to figure out what to say.

Luckily distracted by canon Jack asking Swap!Jack why he's a Xiaolin loser and not an evil boy genius

Swap!Raimundo: Holy shit he's more of a dork then you... I didn't that was possible... no offense man

Swap!Jack:No i'm with you on this one

Cue canon 'jackbots attack' only for dragon of metal Jack to use his powers to rip the Jackbots apart and leave canon Jack staring in despair and How can you do that?Why can't I do that?How??and Swap!Jack gloating (Victory dance and all) 'Oh yeah evil boy genius ha I'm the genius Xiaolin dragon of metal maker of shen gong wu and wrecker of your shit!'

Swap!Raimundo:... Never mind ours is just as dorky

Cue swap Omi and Chase showing up because sensing weird Chi and power and what the fuck has spicier made now? Which leads to canon Chase and Omi staring t the other versions of themselves and Swap!Omi calling Swap!Chase dad.

Canon Omi is trying to process this when Swap!Omi sees him and instantly is so excited and talking at him 'Other version of me? SO cool! How strong are you? What are like? Do you want to fight?'

At this point Swap!Wuya is just like 'Ok how can you send them back'

Swap!Jack: ummmmm

Swap!Wuya:Jack

Swap!Jack:...I mean reversing mirror might work.... or it may make our universe implode...

Swap!Wuya:...

Wuya:Holy shit it is just like Dashi

Swap!Wuya: I KNOW RIGHT

Cue Canonverse hanging around temple and many questions

Kimiko:How do you know all about all these Xiaolin techniques, and all the elemental stuff

Swap!Wuya:... you brats do know I was the previous dragon of earth right?

All canon monks and Jack:WHAT?

Swap!Wuya: Oh fucking hell how much do you know about previous dragons?

All canon monks and Jack:...

Swap!Wuya:... sit down listen up and remind me to write a note for your 'teacher' for when you brats go back.

Also

Monks:So Omi is still dragon of metal but Heylin in this world does that mean Jack is still dragon of metal in ours

Swap!Wuya:Yeah probably, every generation has dragons for all of the 5 elements

Jack:Then why don't I have metal powers!?

Swap!Wuya:Eh sometimes not all dragons powers manifest I guess, normally only 4 do why only 4 monks trained

Jack:...I feel robbed

(Somewhere in both canon and AU Jermaine dragon of wood sneezes)

Anyway after Swap! most of the monks spend time sparring with alternate more chaotic versions of themselves and Jack.

Omi ends up going to Chases Palace, basically kidnapped by Swap!Omi who wanted to fight/play. Of course Chase also goes to see Swap!Chase which leads to a very very tense. Swap!Chase is not happy with the idea of his son growing up at that temple and not being protected, he's also majorly pissed canon Chase let Omi go into the Yin-Yang world. He's upset any version of his little one was even in the same world as Hannibal Roy bean. (In swap world when the yo-yo was revealed he contacted Wuya told her Hannibal was sealed there and general agreement no one goes in there it is one of the Wu that is totally sealed away in the Xiaolin vault not even the chaos gremlin monks go near it)

Swap!Chase is insulting Chase and how he isn't worthy of having Omi as his son, canon Chase is one second from snapping and it being a full on dragon brawl when suddenly canon Omi jumps in and starts squaring up to Swap!Chase defending his Chase. Which leads to Swap!Omi jumping in to defend his dad.

So it's just the 2 versions of Chase watching as the Omi's argue other which Chase is better it's the my dad is better than your dad/my dad could beat up your dad only there dads are alternate versions of the same person.

This is still going on when the others turn up because they ahve a way home and everyone just watching the 2 Omi's argue at each other and look 1 second away from going full on I will destroy you fight. It's then when both Chases just go and scoop them up (With both Omi's looking over their respective Chase's shoulders giving each other death glares).

No one comments or knows how to comment on the fact canon Chase doens't put down Omi even when they get to the temple and the portal to their world appears.Or that Omi is just hugging his neck.

The swap monks are just like 'this is normal for us' and Swap!Wuya just watches them shaking her head "I guess some things are the same in every universe"

Jack:WHY ISN'T ME HAVING COOL METAL POWERS THE SAME?!

Swap!Clay:Hey Jack, isn't the whole reason your boots even work cause you were unknowing;ly using your metal powers on em?

Swap!Jack: Yep

Swap!Clay: So other you does have the powers then

Swap!Jack: Yep

Swap!Kimiko: Think we should tell him that?

All swap Monks:... Nah this is funnier, let him figure it out

Sorry this is long and very dumb.

[happygirl2oo2]

Every reference I could find to Fitz's love of monkeys in Marvel's Agents of Shield, organized by episode numbers

According to this article, Fitz's love for monkeys comes from Iain de Caestecker's love for monkeys. The actor joked in season one about wanting a monkey sidekick for Fitz and it made it into the show's story. Fitz even has monkey figurines on his desk in early seasons.

season 1 episode 2:

FITZ: “I would love to see a capuchin in the wild. Maybe even a yellow-tailed woolly monkey. You know, um, Peru has 32 different species of monkey.”

season 1 episode 3:

FITZ: “If we had a monkey, we could get in.” SIMMONS: “Ugh, Fitz!” FITZ: “If we had a small monkey, he could slip through the sensors and disable the fence's power source with his adorable little hands.”

and

FITZ: “Did you hear the deadly lasers part? Without a brave monkey—”

season 1 episode 8: 

FITZ: “Still, this is definitely the type of work a monkey could easily do.” WARD: “You're our little monkey.”

season 1 episode 16:

MAY: “What's this?" FITZ: "Um, say you need to tag a fleeing vehicle... or a wild monkey, if it was to get away from you.”

season 1 episode 22:

SIMMONS: “That means that every bit of energy inside us, every particle" *breathes deeply* "will go on to be a part of something else, maybe live as a dragonfish, a microbe, maybe burn in a supernova 10 billion years from now. And every part of us now was once a part of some other thing ... a moon, a storm cloud, a mammoth.” FITZ, softly: “A monkey.” SIMMONS, also softly, accepting: “A monkey.”

season 2 episode 14:

Daisy: "Okay. But why am I suddenly feeling like old yeller right now?" Coulson: "Kind of surprised you know the reference." Daisy: "I've had a lot of downtime lately. That and Fitz really wants a dog." Coulson: "Thought he wanted a monkey." Daisy: "Guess he readjusted his expectations."

season 2 episode 16:

*When Fitz is packing up his stuff to leave, his three-monkeys statue is the first thing he's seen grabbing*

season 3 episode 21:

*When Fitz is getting ready for the broadcast with Talbot, he's making monkey noises as his vocals warm-up*

season 4 episode 3:

FITZ (counting his breath): “One chimpanzee, two chimpanzee. One chimpanzee, two chimpanzee.”

season 5 episode 5:

*Fitz is shown drawing monkeys on his cell's wall as a way to mark the passing of time while being there, instead of the regular line-markings that are usually used for that*

season 5 episode 16 (as Bobo is a common monkey name):

Jemma: "I was hoping you could tell me more about our future." Deke: "I mean, you saw it... It sucked." Jemma: "No, I mean Fitz and me. Do you recall any evidence of major injury, any noticeable scarring, perhaps?" Deke: "I don't remember you guys at all. I didn't even know your real names. Everyone in S.H.I.E.L.D. changed them when they were getting hunted down. I just knew you as Nana and Bobo."

season 5 episode 21:

*when Simmons is packing up Fitz's things into the suitcase, his monkey statue from the earlier seasons can be seen among the things already in the suitcase*

season 6 episode 3:

SIMMONS: “Expecto Patronum! [a small hallucination of Fitz in a monkey suit appears on her straw] Hello, little monkey Fitz.”

season 6 episode 6:

*while in the memory of the night they first became friends, after Simmons tells Fitz she also remembers "how manic you were and thinking that genius is just a tick away from madness", the wall is seen suddenly covered in drawings of monkeys in the same way Fitz did to the wall in his cell in season 5 episode 5*

season 6 episode 8:

SIMMONS (about the events of s6ep3): "I saw you in a monkey outfit dancing." FITZ: "No, no, reverse on that bit, what do you mean you saw me in a monkey outfit dancing?"

season 7 episode 13:

*When Alya gets up from her bed in the pod to hug her mom, a few monkey dolls can be seen at the edge of her bed*

and

FITZ (about Alya): “This little monkey is punching me as hard as she can in the leg.”

[lostdrarryfics]

lostdrarryfics monthly roundup! July 2024

Below you will find the requests we could not locate in the month of July. Please let us know if you recognize any!

You can also browse our lengthy lost fic masterlist, where we have compiled every request we have been unable to find over the past few years. We're always hoping someone will recognize a fic so we can let the asker know what it was!

1. It was on ao3, 8th year, after the war, very often the writing shifted between draco and harry's POV. Draco and theo were dating (but they breakup in the end so drarry gets together), it's also a bottom draco fic but I can't remember any specific sex scenes. Theo peer pressures draco to do pills-like drugs and latter ron mentions to harry that he saw theo and draco staring at ron weird and laughing in the hallways at night. Their relationship is toxic but I don't remember much about it, draco and harry slowly starts to become friends, it's more or less at the same rhythm as Theo and draco relationship crumbles. I remember there was a point were theo has sex with some other guy to get more drugs and draco gets upset because he was cheating but then theo says that the other guy raped him and draco is not supposed to tell anyone because he could get in trouble and harry is secretly listening to the most part of the discussion and in his head he starts to question why would nott get in trouble if he was the victim but ultimately doesn't do/say anything about it. Theo gets addicted to those drugs but I can't remember if draco get as well or not. I can't recall if someone harasses draco for being a ex death eater but the students definitely look at him, and other slytherins, differently and most of them get excluded from the rest of the school despite the majority being innocent or too young to have done anything

2. harry and draco I think were already together. But Hermione liked draco and tried to steal him from harry and either used a love potion or gave him a cookie which made him fall in love with her. Some maybe key points I remember are: Harry was thinking and out of space not listening to ron and hermione fighting, when they finally got his attention ron told him about how Hermione thought it was ok for her to flirt with draco even in front of harry. Then at some point draco came up to the three and as he left hermione kisses him on the cheek in front of harry. I read the story on Wattpad in like 2020/2021 and Im pretty sure it had chapters.

3. harry has an owl service or some delivery food service like ubereats, postmates, deliveroo and once he learned who the order was for, Harry was going to give Draco Malfoy a piece of his mind for such a request for late delivery. “ugh pure bloods and their wealth”. then unexpectedly the wards let Harry in, and then he was face to face with Draco. now I will be honest, the role of Harry and Draco could be reversed, but I don’t think so? It may feature a young Scorpius Malfoy or Teddy Lupin. rating: explicit / mature? last remember reading it on ao3. One shot, completed. Maybe apart of Harry/Draco Owlpost Fest? tags: post-war, not canon compliant?, owl, owlpost, delivery, malfoy manor, grimmauld place, order, baked goods, food service. harry and draco are like in their 20s-30s. one chapter: about 10K words

4. i’m pretty sure in this fic harry is this well known baker/pastry chef in the wizarding world, and him and draco become friends and soon start dating. draco falls in love with harry’s sweet desserts which harry claims has a “special ingredient” which he won’t tell draco until the end. that’s when they meet in harry’s pantry/bakeshop and draco soon learns harry methods to creating such desserts, especially when harry uses his magic literally and metaphorically to create a huge order for a Ministry event which make draco falls deeper for him and his special filling especially when they go to the eat and eat his home made desserts. rating: explicit / nc-17. last I remember reading it on ao3. May be apart of a Drarry fest including: H/D Erised or Food Fair or Owlpost. From 2020-present maybe? tags: post war, not canon compliant, bakery, baker, pastry chef harry, coffee shop, coffee, post hogwarts/ harry potter epilogue what epilogue, frosting, icing, innuendos, pwp, cake, batter word count, filling, cream, crème, food, euphemisms. harry and draco are like in their 20s-30s. one chapter: 10K-20K words

5. fic I read a couple months ago. I found that fic at AO3, it's a multiple chapter (I don't remember the exact number of chapters). Main couple is Drarry. The fic is not magical au, I think Harry is a university student(?) and such an extrovert slight flirty person, but he only has Hermione as his friend. Btw, in that fic, Hermione is having an affair with Remus (their professor). Harry is crushing over Draco (Draco's not a university student), he's often goes to the campus to pick up Astoria, his girlfriend at that time. One day, Astoria invite Harry to her house in order to spice up her bed activity with Draco. At first, Draco is so shocked and offended(?) with Harry's presence (Draco has a idk what to call it, i guess internalized homophobic(??) caused by his father action). But then, slowly, Draco become more intrigued to Harry. Harry also realized that Draco is not the same as what Draco show in the outside, Harry knows that Draco hide his dom side(?) to look so calm, collected, chill, and so on). I think it's save to say that there are some infidelity at that fic but at the end Draco ends his relationship with Astoria first before officially start a new one with Harry. Oh, and Astoria is kind of regret her choice introducing Harry to Draco because she kind of sad to lose Draco, but no hard feeling tho.

6. the first few chapters are poems. Draco was fleeing to the muggle world or something and Harry captured him. Harry is also an Alpha and he mated with Draco forcefully, I think in this world if one of them dies then the one mated with you can be dead too. Thank you so much, it’s on AO3 but I can’t find it.

7. looking for a fic where Draco works as a mailman or something and he plays chess with one of the elderly lady in a wizarding nursing home. The lady also gives him tips but it embarrasses him but he accepts out of necessity. Harry is an auror and a newly turned werewolf and he cannot control himself around Draco like I remember that he keeps sniffing him while they were near an elevator. I've reread this fic but I can't seem to remember the title!

8. looking for a fic i only read the synopsis for (i swear i saved it but i cant find it now) basically draco writes a letter to harry saying "I'm going to kill you" but harry misreads it as "im going to kiss you"

9. fic on ao3, it was about Draco being like a sex slave for the deatheaters, and he was held up in chains and perceiving a lot less of his surroundings due to him trying to not feel anything. The plot of the war was different, and Harry and Ron were using polyjuice to get inside the manor, then they found Draco and were surprised, but Ron did like a gesture that he would also r4pe Draco (like unzipping his pants or something) and Harry stopped him, I think Harry said to Draco that he was gonna try to set him free when they could and Draco stayed there while watching them go. I'm not sure about that last part, and I do not remember much more or maybe even he wasn't free at all at the end

10. what I remember is that Draco was held in a room at Order headquarters, I remember several members tried to visit him for questioning, including Harry. But Draco didn't reveal anything at all. Then there is a scene where Harry comes in and tells him that Lucius Malfoy is dead, Harry shows the ring as proof that he is not mistaken

11. I could be mixing up two fics. I'm pretty sure it was on AO3. It was a 4th year AU, where I believe Harry and Draco were already dating when the Tournament happened. One scene that I remember clearly is that when Harry has to do that wand thing for the tournament, his wand just doesn't want to be used by Ollivander, so it hits Ollivander in the head. Also I think that Harry and the other champions get along pretty well and ARE working together. So much so that I think that they all agree that they just don't really wanna be a part of the tournament and then they train together and everything. And if I'm not mistaken, for the second task they all decide to use a boat? To get to the Merfolk village and then just dive and get their hostage. And for the third task they were just planning on get inside the maze and do a picnic?

[fireemblems24]

Scarlet Blaze Ch 14

So close to completing this.

MAIN STORY

How many chapters is this game? 15, right?

Typical Caspar excited to murder. God, he's awful in this route.

Dorothea breaking the 4th wall. She says she can't deal with any more doubling back lol.

I love how they dress up "kill everyone who resists until the Empire Imperializes Fodlan" as "unite Fodlan" lamo.

Felix, Sylvain, and Dimitri discussing strategy. Seteth and Rhea joining it.

They suggest retaking the monastery. Not a bad idea. Rhea also thinks this could flip some Alliance lords.

Haha, the "bad guys" are going to kill Bernadetta's awful father.

They think by doing this, it'll inspire the faithful to unite against Edelgard's war.

Dimitri says to keep quiet to keep Empire defenses down. Dimitri suggests tricking the enemy. It's funny how the only lord that doesn't use tricks and strategy is . . . Edelgard.

Ugh, so many side battles again.

MAP/SIDE QUESTS

See, this is what's so annoying. I talked to Raphael who wants to fight Dimitri because he's so legendarily strong (this game hypes Dimitri so hard, and I am here for it). Anyways, that's not my problem. My problem is that Raphael can't wait to ask Dimitri about his training routine after the war is over. Like, I get it's Rapaheal who isn't the deepest thinker, but this attitude is everywhere - like war is no different than play fighting and like, after going to war against someone, not only will they definitely survive, but will get chatty with you about training - not.

Dorothea, Ashe, and Yuri are the only characters who seem to realize they're about to go kill innocent people, lamo.

Hubert just insulted me. Seems the right time to declare my love for him with the merc whistle, lol. He earned it doing almost all the work this playthrough. (it's even funnier bc an NPC just asked if I had a special person, and Shez picked Hubert).

Add more to Caspar being a complete psychopath in this route - he's happy his brothe failed because now he could potentially rule his family's territory and make Edelgard's vision come to life (oh, yes, how amazing, passing it from one noble male to . . . the male noble's brother, viva la revolution! /s)

Shoutout to the NPC who's pissing himself over the idea of having to fight Dimitri, Dedue, and Felix.

Add Mercedes to the list of people who realize they're going to kill other people.

Claude talking to Byleth and being like, if I had you around, I'd probably be a decent person!

I had to fight Cyril :(

SHEZ & FERDINAND A

Ferdinand is pulling a Dimitri and working until tired. Unlike Dimitri, though, Ferdinand listens.

This support is shipping Ferdibert because it's Hubert who sent Shez, and apparently worried about Ferdinand.

It was kind of short.

EDELGARD & HUBERT A

God, I hope this is better than their final Houses support.

Haha, she's asking about Byleth. Wishing she could've recruited Byleth, lamo. I bet this goes differently if you're a better gamer.

It sucks that, once again, Hubert and Edelgard's relationship is reduced to Edeleth bait rather than being about Hubert.

And so, once again, Hubert's not going to be any credit for being the Eagles' single braincell.

Wait....... did they just confirm the Crest connection between Edelgard and Byleth?

God, I would HATE it if they did that to Dimileth. Idk, there's something about magic influencing people to like each other that takes away from the romance of the relationship.

How did Edeleth fans react to this?

Oh, we're actually talking about Hubert now.

Hubert is happy with the role groomed into him. To Edelgard's credit, she wishes things would reverse sometimes.

I love how different all the lord-retainer relationships are in this game. They made 3 distinct, interesting ones. No points if you guess my favorite of them.

LINHARDT & PETRA B

These two have so little in common. Also, I'm going to need to grind to get their A.

They know what diaphragms are in Fodlan.

Petra needs help with a letter. It's written in archaic language. I forget that poor Petra only gets a language teacher ones, and it's Blue Lions locked. Dedue for the win.

It's a love letter, lamo.

I headcannon it's from Dorothea.

Welp, headcannon squashed. She says she has no knowledge of the writer, and is rife with mistakes.

Linhardt finds the letter sacrilegious, but Petra's impressed.

PETRA & HUBERT A

One of the worst pairings in Houses.

An assassin goes after Hubert, but Petra shoots her.

Hubert's annoyed bc he can't question her, but grateful.

Hubert critiques the tactics that Petra uses to save him. Only Hubert.

He's more surprised that a queen would use a tactic than thinking it's a bad one.

Hubert's hating on chivalry and knights.

Petra doesn't understand their thoughts, and Hubert tries to explain it.

"It's peace we are wishing for." Uh, no. People who start wars don't wish for peace.

Hubert admits it has its uses though. But dislikes it.

Hey, at least this wasn't a support revolving around Hubert gurdingly accepting Petra as an "inferior" Edelgard.

HUBERT & FERDINAND A

Hubert calls Ferdinand the ultimate noble, not sure if that's a compliment or not.

Ferdinand's like don't sneak up on me while I'm training, dumbass.

But then Hubert's like you could just kill me right now if you wanted too! Which, is kind of weird. And Ferdinand's like, stop being weird. agreed.

Ferdinand doesn't see his father as the man who raised him.

Hubert admits that Ferdinand's matured. Ferdinand admires Hubert's obsession with Edelgard.

Ferdinand asks to stand alongside both of them as Edelgard's two jewels of the Empire.

And Hubert laughs at him.

And then it ends.

Ok, so why is this such a big ship again?

DOROTHEA & PETRA A

Bummed they only have 1 support. This is my favorite ship for both of them.

They go on a date in the marketplace and are happy to get away from all the death they're causing.

Petra is surprised to see it so upbeat, considering the war. Dorothea says life goes on for commoners regardless of what nobles are doing, but get upset when family dies.

Petra claims in Brigid, everyone is family. Dorothea says Fodlan's not like that.

In Brigid, they fight over thrones and lovers, but not land, like in Fodlan (like in Scarlet Blaze, lamo). Dorothea wants the tea.

They get accosted by random dudes, but Petra fights them off. Dorothea helps, I think.

Does this mean women get accosted in the market in broad daylight in the Empire???

Hahaha, Dorothea tells Petra that her skin is silky smooth and asks her to feel. Sadly, Dorothea doesn't act on that.

Petra calls Dorothea important to her, and to watch out, that she'll keep Dorothea safe. Dorothea promises the same.

My shipping heart is happy with this, though the random attack was a bit odd.

PETRA & RAPHAEL A

I could have seen this already in GW, though it's unlikely?

Raphael is howling to catch a wolf, but it keeps getting louder, so he's upset. Petra disagrees that he's not getting better.

They've made a team up, where Raphael scares the animals, and Petra hides and kills them all. So they make a good team.

Raphael is acting as a hound, he's upset that he isn't a wolf.

Petra thinks Raphael would fit in in Brigid. He agrees and plans to visit.

I honestly have no idea if I've seen this before.

DOROTHEA & BERNADETTA B

This is their highest support.

Dorothea sees her talking to someone. And the little bit on screen looked a lot like Yuri? Dorothea confirms that it's a man.

Don't Bernadetta and Yuri have a history? Dorothea thinks it's romantic.

Yep, it's Yuri. Bernadetta talks about the commoner friend she had once, which is Yuri.

Dorothea thinks this is the makings of a good opera. Bernie insists it's not love; Dorothea says that's how an opera would work.

Honestly, though, Yuri and Bernie may be one of the least compatible pairings possible in this game.

I've heard about this. Yuri's support retcons Bernie's father's abuse into "protecting." Which is such bullshit. Imagine excusing abuse as "I'm protecting you." It's really gross.

Bernie thankfully gets to set it straight in this game. Saying her father didn't love or protect her, but just a valuable item that he owns. SOOOOO glad Hopes took the opportunity to fix that awful implication the Yuri-Bernie support added.

Dorothea says her father treated her mother like an item too.

So more Empire men treating women like possessions.

Even in the Kingdom and Alliance when characters feels pressured to perform (Slyvain, Ingrid, Hilda, Lorenz, etc . . .) - no one talks about it being so bad they're dehumanized. This really seems like an Empire-exclusive, sexism thing. (also notice that, without thinking, I came up with male and female examples of both the Kingdom and the Alliance).

LINHARDT & BERNADETTA C

I feel like I did a much better job unlocking Blue Lions supports than the other houses and I don't know why since I paid close attention to all of them.

Bernie is messing around and the weeds, and Linhardt asks why.

It's to avoid a man and a woman going on a secret date, according to Bernie at least. She thinks they'll get mad at her for interrupting their date. Linhardt says she's no more significant than a pebble on the road to them.

Honestly, Bernie thinking everyone will blow up at her is a self-centered, isn't it?

Lin's like, they're lost in their own little world. And gets a bit romantic for appreciating them for sharing love when they could die on the battlefield tomorrow. Bernie argues that in fiction, they'd get together. Then Lin's like, that's fiction, not reality. Then Bernie argues fiction that's more realistic. And Lin's like, yeah, those stories exist bc people relate to it. And they go a bit in a circle.

Then Lin just falls asleep right there.

FERDINAND & EDELGARD A

Ferdinand asks for some compassion from Edelgard about killing his father, but then says that's just pity and tells Edelgard to just give him the order she wants.

Edelgard says she's not here bc she wants something, she just wants his typical effort.

Ferdinand can't die here or history won't remember him well.

Edelgard then says imagine what history will say about me if I lose?

Then Ferdinand says he'll gladly die to further Edelgard's goals because her life matters more.

And because he's not from Faerghus, that's a good thing because dying for Edelgard = good, dying for Dimitri = bad. Or Edelgard can't recognize her own hypocrisy (Claude, at least, thinks "dying for Claude = bad" per his "wtf, Hilda" in CF).

I know Edelgard approves of Ferdinand's attitude (which is the EXACT SAME as Sylvain, Ingrid, etc . . .) because she says he's such a great noble she wouldn't have to get rid of them if they were like him.

So, unlike Dimitri, who hates it whenever Ashe or Ingrid or whoever says "I'll die for you in battle bc your life means more!" and tells them not too, Edelgard is like "wow, that's such a great attitude that I wouldn't even need to start a war if they all thought like you." Yet, somehow, this game wants me to think the Faerghus fighting back against this idea is worse than the Empire glorifying it, lamo (since Monica has the same attitude in her Edelgard support, which isn't portrayed as a negative).

Ferdinand argues for the existence of the nobility and the structure they build, that she can't throw it away. She says that's not her plan. (so, has she like, not even told him her plans??? What happens if she dies?? Would anyone have a single clue what her plan was???)

Then it goes back to their CF support, where he argues for education. And this game makes it obvious that it never occurred to her that poor people can't just automatically compete with nobles. That this dodo bird has killed hundreds of thousands without considering the gap between the poor and rich, lamo. Hopes is gold for confirming she never thought of this, only Ferdinand did.

I know Yuri does the same for Dimitri, but Dimitri already had the right idea of knowing the poor needed their basic needs meant before they can advance (and familiarizing himself with how they live unlike her staying in her ivory tower), and he also, you know, didn't go killing everyone who won't bow their heads to him bc he thinks his plans are so brilliant.

SHAMIR & HAPI C

Shamir is in a church. Hapi is confused, until Shamir says she's looking for some peace and quiet.

Hapi's "not the praying type" either. But she also just wanted quiet.

Shamir doesn't seem annoyed with Hapi's nickname, which is why Shamir is never annoying. She's edgy, yeah, but not in an annoying way.

She's talking about some pagan statue in the abyss. I honestly don't remember that.

Ohh, Shamir wound up in the abyss after the war. Then ran into trouble with the church. And Rhea hired her.

That pagan is actually from Dagda. One of their deities. Cool lore. It's apparently their god of fate.

They both wonder why it's there. Good question.

SHEZ & DOROTHEA A

Dorothea is singing for Shez. Who's like, yeah, it's good.

She's disappointed with the lack of response, because Shez isn't very cultural lol.

He says it made him warm, like his mother growing up. So he actually does get it because Dorothea was singing a lullaby.

It's a lost song though, and Dorothea doesn't know the words (only sang lalala, you cowards, give us lyrics like Annette gets!) But the song got researched and her melody is a guess.

Shez tells Dorothea that her voice touches people even if they don't understand high-art, like himself.

Dorothea lost her passion while working while singing, but she's getting her passion back now, thanks in part to Shez.

Shez thinks Dorothea speaks beautifully and can reach people's hearts, and credits her training, so it wasn't worthless. Unlike Shez who can't string a sentence together.

Dorothea says that Shez isn't back with words. And that he was actually pretty smooth and flirty.

Honestly, super cute support at the end.

EDELGARD & BERNADETTA A

Edelgard lists her worries at night; Bernie walks in on her. It's one of the places Bernie goes to be alone.

Bernie asks if Edelgard is alright after hearing the list, and offers to listen, which seems a bit OOC for Bernie.

Edelgard appreciates it, but says Bernie would get tired of it.

Bernie thinks the curse eating away at her is the same as the one eating away at Edelgard. Edelgard is impressed with Bernie's insight because she guesses right.

Edelgard is upset that TWSITD is still around after thinking she's already beaten him.

Edelgard says being kind to people doesn't help people recover from pain. Consistent with her characterization, but I HATE "feminine" things like compassion are weak instead you gotta just man your way through it (bc it's toxic to your mental health) and the game mostly proves her wrong though.

HUBERT & CASPAR B

This is their only support.

Hubert gets a report that Caspar located enemies scouting the base. He attacked, no enemies survived, and he got hurt.

Hubert's questions were all hopeful that at least one survived, but because Caspar's an idiot no one should trust with command of an army, of course they're missing intel now.

Caspar brags about it to Hubert, lamo. What an idiot. Caspar's inability to read people is also not a good thing for a commander.

Hubert is unimpressed. Actually sees it as bad.

Caspar counters that Hubert is impressed with Berligtz does it, but Hubert's like "those were reinforcements, also, he's competent."

This is why Hubert is best boy in the Black Eagles. (he or Dorothea are by far my favorite Eagles)

Caspar is like well my gut said attack, so I went, not caring at all like the smartest guy in the army thinks his plot was stupid.

Hubert keeps lecturing him. Saying he'll get people killed.

Caspar's like "if you wanna make a name for yourself, you gotta risk death!"

So . . . Caspar doesn't care that he hurt the Empire's war efforts by killing spies rather than capturing them, nor that he got his men hurt by his rash actions, because he "proved himself in battle to gain status."

Caspar is just really awful in this game. Hubert, though, is gold in this support, as usual. Even when he's a dick, he's an entertaining dick (and usually supposed to be seen as wrong lol)

Caspar learned exactly 0 things in that support.

LINHARDT & CASPAR A

Caspar wakes Linhardt up, who's slept into midday.

Caspar claims he found something amazing. Linhardt is like usually you're wrong about that.

Caspar wants to show off a huge bear someone took down. Linhardt is grossed out by the gore. Caspar really has 0 ability to see any POV but his own and understand who he's talking too.

Caspar wants to hunt it. Linhardt's like, ok, then go. Lamo.

Caspar wants to fight a bare bare-handed.

Linhardt bring up when Caspar's dad took down a bare when he was younger than Caspar. Caspar still insists he'll do it, and used to drag Lin along while bear hunting. This is how he learned healing.

I think Caspar got really dumbed down in Hopes.

Lin's like, let's focus on the war, not bears, ok? Caspar at least agrees to this.

LINHARDT & EDELGARD B

Their only support.

Edelgard plays with a cat, only after making sure no one can see her. Then Linhardt walks in, and she's thrown off.

Edelgard pretends she doesn't know the cat. Lin calls her out.

Lin likes cats. I don't know why Edelgard is surprised. Lin is basically a human cat.

Edelgard likes cats because of how they help humans (get rid of rodents, etc . . .)

Lin keeps arguing that cats are awesome because they trick people into waiting on them hand and foot.

Edelgard asks if he's owned a cat. Lin's like, seriously, that's too much work.

She's being so difficult because she didn't want Lin to own the cat.

Edelgard made a funny, accusing Lin of aspiring to be a cat.

This gap moe Edelgard stuff works wayyyy better than the stuff in Houses, imo.

SHEZ & CASPAR A

Haha, Shez is like, "Oh Caspar, there you are," and Caspar assumes that he wants to practice, Shez is like, yeah, but with your dad.

This game really dunks on Caspar, everyone just talks about how much better his dad is lamo.

Caspar is like, you're too ordinary to spare with my dad.

Apparently Count Bersraser whatever his name is really hurts people when they train, and Caspar tells Shez to cancel his plans.

After the sparing, Shez is exhausted, but Shez did better than anyone else ever did.

MAIN BATTLE

I don't remember who I'm fighting this chapter.

Why does Claude get a picture in SB? Will I see it in GW too?

Waaaaiiiitttt, is Claude . . . turning against the Empire?

He's like, we only agreed to pair with Edelgard under duress and bc the other option is the Kingdom protecting Rhea - who invented racism, who is the only reason hierarchies exist, and who made Claude stub his toe this morning.

Ok, so siding with the Empire is stupid, but thinking the Alliance can fight the Empire, Kingdom, and Church is maybe the stupidest move yet, lamo.

He thinks Dimitri will "shackle us to their outdated customs" because, you know, Dimitri is all about ruling the Empire and Alliance and not improving the Kingdom at all or anything. Projection much?

This is so funny, and dumb. Not like the writing has ever cared about making Claude look like he has the intelligence to surpass a toddler in this game.

Yep, Claude turned against the Empire, lamo.

Cut scene time! They're just marching and talking about the battle.

Dimitri's here too. And Dedue's right beside him. Of course.

Claude too, and he's like "too bad we can't do something more civilized" - like, my dude, you are part of the problem.

Seteth coming in on a dragon looking badass. He's begging Flayn to retreat. But she won't. Please don't make me kill her :(

Edelgard's like "time to prove the Empire's supremacy!" and "anyone who stands in our way must be cut down!" But see, this is why I like her so much better in SB. It's just more honest and tries less to twist things around to make her into a typical princess type, instead of owning (at least a little more) the red emperor type she is.

Fuck, I have to defeat Flayn. She's healing people, not attacking, but I still have to take her out. If it was a side mission, I'd ignore it. Hubert mocks her like "is this the second coming of Saint Cethleann" - well, about that . . . .

Now Felix appeared :( It's also a main mission I can't ignore. At least it looks like he's retreating.

Only for Sylvain to show up, which isn't any better :( Fuck, he's claiming he's avenging Ingrid :(

OH FUCK. He actually died. Begging for forgiveness from Dimitri. SB is really the most bloody path :(

Dimitri sounded so upset. I really feel the like the villain. It's by far the route with the highest named character count killed (Rodrigue, Ingrid, Annette, Gilbert, Sylvain) AND my main goal is to kill Flayn because she's . . . healing people.

At least Flayn retreats. She makes Seteth promise to do the same :( (If I have to kill Seteth too, I swear to GOD).

Please let Dedue retreat :((((((

I also have to defeat Hilda :( Sad, but not big sad.

THANK FUCK. Dedue retreated. Dimitri sounded near tears.

Now I have to defeat Seteth too :( Thank God, he retreated. I think Hilda did too?

Now I have to defeat Dimitri and Claude. I am considerably more upset about the former. I wonder if they live or die.

I'm letting the other units fight Dimitri. I'm tired of killing him. I'll go kill Claude, which doesn't upset me much.

Lamo, Edelgard was like, go back to your people! Stop protecting the church - like, as if her plan isn't to take over Faerghus regardless? Dimitri smelled her bullshit at least.

If Claude retreated, does that mean Dimitri does too?

Ok, he retreated at least. Still Sylvain :(((

Ohhhhh, Byleth the final boss? Sothis has possessed Byleth though. But he seems along for the ride bc Byleth's pissed we killed Jeralt.

Shez vs Byleth cut scene again, except unlike in AG, Byleth is Sothis possessed and Shez is Shez, but then Shez goes demon mode too.

Shez is worn down, but wins bc Byleth stops glowing, so I think Byleth dies?

NARRATION

Yep, we killed Byleth. Shez feels empty about it though. And talks about this being a horrible mistake and wishes there was another way to solve this.

Funny how he only cares about Byleth and not all the other people who died (Sylvain, and tons and tons of people).

Arval feels freed though, from an old quest, and major relief, and starts crying.

So you have to either choose between Byleth dies, but Shez and Arval are on good terms, or Byleth lives and Arval and Shez aren't happy (I think, since he took Shez over in the special chapter, but I haven't played that in AG yet).

Ok, so this battle took me 26 minutes. AG took me 4, because Dimitri is just that absurd. He kills bosses so fast. Like before the dialogue finishes. It's just so absurd.

Edelgard is worried because Rhea and the knights weren't seen (or most of them), she's also under the impression Rhea would love a battle like this, but Rhea's never seen bloodthirsty? Vengeful, but not battle loving.

The main force will proceed with occupying Galatea :((((( That small bit of dialogue - knife to my heart.

No one even mentioned Sylvain :(

xxx

[pleasetakethis]

New favorite ep of the season acquired the moment it opened. Some shippy rambling in the live blogging ahead.

If you know me at all, you know right off the bat that I AM UNHINGED ABOUT THIS EPISODE.

NATPEGGY YASSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THE BACKSTORY INTRO!

"What are new friends for?"

THEM SHOWING OFF THEIR MOVES TO EACH OTHER !!!!!

Wasp, too??? Yasss, all the ladies!!!!!!!!!!

Peggy and Nat already working so well together in combat and the level of trust that already exists between them, I just--slkdjflasdjfklajflajlfkjas

Them sassing Loki !!!!!!

Intro credits: Elizabeth Olsen???? Wanda's here, too????? Super spoiler alert: I waited so long for her to show up 🤣

Me and the Watcher feel the same about Captain Peggy Carter <3

The role reversal when Peggy picks up Nat in that slick ass car while Nat's running... guhhhhhh.

I am here for all versions of evil Steve, including brainwashed.

SCRUFFY SKINNY STEVE!

CA: TWS parallels got me in my feels, too. Peggy/Nat is THE SHIP for me, but there's something about Peggy/Steve that hits just right the same way as Tony/Pepper, Steve/Tony, and Steve/Bucky.

The framing of these shots got me--Peggy in the background pissed because she wasn't told about the rumors of the Hydra Stomper, while Nat (listening) definitely knew about Steve:

AHHH, PEGGY'S FACE WHEN SHE REALIZED NAT KNEW:

AND DIDN'T TELL HER:

SDALKFJLAKJFLAJS

Natasha quipping "Didn't see the point in breaking your heart twice," fucked me up, oh.

DILF old man Bucky <3 Bucky getting to grow old!!!! WIBBLES.

Guess it's gonna take both of the loves of Steve's Rogers life to get through to him? lmaooo

Peggy is the perfect mirror of Captain America Steve. In goodness, selflessness, AND their particular brand of self-righteous selfishness. I love both of them for it, but especially Peggy <3

Bucky standing up and saying Steve would be stupid enough to do the same for him. 😭 Bucky trying to get through to Steve. 😭

"What can I say, Peg? I'm a sucker for a good love story." Damn, that hurts for a million different reasons. oh, Nat. <3

UMMMM the way Nat sits back and says, "You know, I always wondered how you got all those G.I. boys to follow a woman into war? Question answered." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRAIN EMPTY! ONLY PEGGYNAT! And Nat couldn't be more obvious if she tried, but she does it so well and Peggy is distracted.

Are you kidding me with the framing of this shot?

I feel like it's foreshadowing but IT SCREAMS pining. A lot of pining:

Barton introduced Peggy to dad rock <3 fuck yes

Widow bites interrupting the kiss, lol.

Peggy being a weak point for Nat, to the point Nat gets nabbed by widow bites, JFC.

Peggy will die for Steve, the same way Steve would have died for Bucky--ughhh I do not like but I understand.

"Mission accomplished." !!! Hot damn, that was slick, A++, AND Nat tells Peggy she doesn't want to fight about it. 😏

THERE WAS A MUSICAL!

BAMF Melina. Love to hate her when she's on the wrong side, parent/child issues me in a weird way these days and this ep got under my skin.

But also: guhhhhhh these Widows.

"This isn't us! I am done fighting, Steve. [drops shield] I have been fighting for so long: to end the war, to forget what I lost. I'm… I'm tired." oh, Peggy.

oh, Steve.

oh, Nat.

This ep got me in the feels, all of them.

Peggy going back for Nat AND them running out together <3

Ugh, Nat and her transparent, "Okay. Let's hit the road." Just: THEM.

...and oops, Peggy's gone.

But then! OOOO, this Fury! AND FINALLY, WANDA!!!!!

Overall: similar in ep 4 in that it was close to the emotional impact of Stephen's ep in the first season but still missed the mark (and tbh the Tony ep hit harder, but more because of Tony's characterization--Peggy is fairly consistent, Tony is not, so getting him so right (for me) was incredible). I adore this ep, I love Peggy, I love Nat, I enjoy this universe, and I hope we visit their universe again (if not, there's always fanfic, my beloved).

[cantsomeoneelsedoit]

Ch 60: Truth

BUT WHYYYYYY?

Why go to all that trouble?

To protect their friends

For personal glory

For the sake of the martial art itself

To ascend toward Godhood

To see how far they can go/because they're destined to be the best

To befriend all the Pokemon

Others want to be the best because strength will bring them the freedom to live however they want:

Some are just crazy for martial arts:

It's already been established that Shen wanted to be the best from a young age, but it turns out that there's something else that's been driving him to push himself, no matter how many times he experiences defeat along the way...

SPOILERS ABOUND!

Shen's expression is so unexpected. It's not a snarl or a tear-jerking frown--it doesn't match the emotional weight of what he's saying. He looks determined and self-confident, like he's waaay past the grieving stage and has turned that grief into fuel for training.

And he just says it so matter-of-factly! A lot of shonen series would have shown him shaking with rage or billowing black smoke or something while he said that line, but instead he just has this alert, "Any further questions?" kind of look about him.

Another common feature of Xianxia/Spirit Cultivation works is the pursuit for immortality. Looks like Feng has that part already figured out!

"I had my youth restored! And friends, I couldn't be more excited to share this special offer with you! If you sign up using my code, we will both receive a 5% discount on all future subscriptions!" --Feng, selling infrared light masks or something.

Not even Victor had Shen struggling like this! But then again, Shen liked Victor and so he could use his ability on him. He still lost, but it wasn't as bad as this. That middle panel of Shen is just wonderfully horrible!

Feng doesn't know what Shen's ability is called, but he's putting the pieces together to figure out how it works.

Most of the characters who've gone through this battle process of trying to figure out someone's ability are doing it so they can have a strategy to defeat their opponent. But Feng just wants to use the info to taunt Shen into fighting harder. He's vicious.

HOLY SHIT

His awakening tragedy is a lot like Chikara's.

Ugh-- the chapter title is Truth, and we expect that it'll be about Shen and his ability and how great he is, but here comes Feng just throwing words like "truth" around and using them to hurt people.

Up until now, we've had lots of examples of how Shen can put emotions aside while he's fighting, but Feng knows exactly how to hurt him and stun him into silence. Luckily, Mui comes in strong with the two-sword style!

Unfortunately, Feng reverse kicks Mui and snaps the swords in half.

Feng finally says what we've all been thinking: aren't there an awful lot of similarities between Mui and Mei?

They look alike. They both look up to Shen. Their names are different pronunciations/transliterations of the same name. They even have the same favorite food: dumplings they make together with Shen.

Mui and Mei aren't carbon copies, but they're similar enough to make you wonder if Mui was added by "God"/the author as a way to both take Shen's little sister away and give him a new companion. It also reminds me of Zoro, Kuina, and Tashigi from One Piece. We'll learn some more about Mui and Mei later in the story.

Now Feng exposes his teaching philosophy, which boils down to:

1. Traumatize your students until they go Super Saiyan.

Even worse, he also has a magic cloud that does his bidding, and he takes Mui hostage on it while Shen suffers below. He has a magic cloud and a magic staff, just like Shen!

Feng is using the same line Victor used when he asked Andy if Fuuko's death would break Andy's spirit. The difference is that Feng wants to hurt Shen not to make him weaker, but to make him stronger!

Meanwhile, Andy and Fuuko are still fighting the Juniors with the help of Kinto'un. Andy slices one of them in half, but the core (and Feng) are still ready to fight.

Feng helpfully outlines his goal, his process, and how Life Is Strange works, but Andy tells him to can it.

Latla hugging little Rip is the heartwarming panel we needed in the middle of this chapter!

Andy doesn't care if he's 150 years old because Andy's also pretty old lol.

Feng is a blood knight who's only interested in cultivating strong opponents. Whether it's Shen, Summer, or God themselves, he doesn't really care. You see some of those traits in Shen, too, but Shen's not as criminally insane as Feng.

And as much as Andy enjoys a good fight, he's all about PRIORITIES. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of logical arguments that could convince Feng to change his ways (though Fuuko tries to make him see reason!)

Right? Feng's like some asshole who mistreats an animal so he can kill it and say he fought it at its strongest. But with Shen, you literally can't fight him at his strongest unless he likes you. It's a self-defeating strategy.

Like Billy, Feng doesn't realize that WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT! Personal ambitions aren't really something we can afford to focus on right now!

Andy winds up for a punch and Feng gives him an unsure side-eye.

In his arrogance, he dismisses Andy right away. But--

He spoke too soon! Andy's Ten-Twist Vortex Fist sends him spinning and bloodies his lip. I love Fuuko's face in the top panel.

At the end, both Fuuko and Andy say that they're fighting for other people, but Feng is still just fighting for his own amusement. How can they take down a wildcard like him?

Masterpost

[swallowtailed]

palisade 46…. finalisade part 1…….

i am committed to calling it finalisade btw

god what an intro. all-timer. perennial and future arguing! character intros in reverse order! everyone’s hooks and bonds! and parti with the most joy-filled bars of the entire season <3 extremely good

doubt is such an excellent setting element for the finale

love to listen to character creation at the end of the story. u know? love to gather up sprawling storylines and clarify endings. i’m always thinking abt the structural implications of playing finales in different game systems but/and the ceremony of character creation is so compelling. i remember really liking this in futura free as well

thisbe and cori came out with a really interesting pair of goals. “mend the scattered shards of divinity” and “my bloodied hands must break the wheel”. they’re very similar: huge goals, hard-won goals, goals that seem impossible. both in that space of world-altering scifi heroism, you know? while also being each other’s opposites: thisbe to mend, without thinking of herself; cori to break, and to do it personally. falls out similarly to their views on purpose, which makes sense given they’re stating their lives’ work. characters!!!!

levi’s goal being about himself rather than the revolution is: extremely good. he’s kinda where cori was at the beginning of palisade, which makes so much sense for mirage kids. knowing the ideal but not the reality

glad that eclectic’s goal is to expose the bilats’ crimes rather than to win the war by solving palisade’s mysteries because the latter is… fraught. will be interested to see what that endgame looks like—can palisade actually sell “awareness as action”?

gotta say i continue to not be compelled by clem coming back as a pc. the problem with a character who fundamentally cannot change is that after the end of their tragedy there will not be a new story to tell. treading the same ground.

brnine <3 they should get to have all three goals!!! they’re ignoring their grief by throwing themself into work! it makes sense!

“emotionally stunted, refuses to deal with grief, won’t say the name of the person most important to them, betrayed by their situationship, captain of a ship that was meant to be a promise that will never be fulfilled” yeah that sounds about right

feeling vindicated re Season About Grief. also enjoying that brnine’s goals and obstacles all hang on connection/inability to do so. it’s extremely tidy.

the joker already being perennial is fantastic. there’s probably an event horizon of too many things already having significance to continue developing a narrative and i doubt it’s actually possible to cross but if anyone would do it it’d be fatt

ugh god on a close listen the twilight mirage sound in the finale theme is so soul-shattering. falling asleep/waking up mixed with motion’s motif…

[m34gs]

Put your Fave playlist on shuffle and post the first five songs that come up!

Ok so I was tagged by @voxofthevoid in this post! I also prefer tag games to inbox chain games, so I will be treating it like a tag game as well! 🥰💜

My current favourite playlist is Villain Core (I don't have spotify so no link to the actual playlist), and it's made up of songs that give vibes of either villains, victims, or a backstory that could make what society would call a villain...because motive and character development is everything to me when I write 🥰🥰🥰

Alright, so:

Nameless by Stevie Howie (warnings: this song is about a man wanting revenge on the guy who assaulted his lover) I like the rage in this one, the utter desire to Destroy. And it feels like an excellent motive for murder in a story.

I'm Not a Vampire (Revamped) by Falling in Reverse. I love vampires and eternal damnation and desperation. Also the choir and orchestral music in the background slaps so hard and gives such a lovely, eerie feeling to it.

God Complex by VIOLENT VIRA. There aren't enough words to describe how much I love this one. "I'm gonna be where you are, doesn't matter how far, because we are meant to be. I'm gonna be what you need, Darling please worship me unless you prefer to bleed" *HELLO?* Ugh, I love me some yandere shit. And the desperate sound of the refrain? The attempt to pin the blame on the person being sung to? Top Tier villain shit. Love it.

Blood//Water by grandson. This one just really fuels my inner "eat the rich"; and gives me that "you made me what I am" kind of villain vibes and I love it. Tortured soul who finally unleashes damnation on the ones who wronged them? Then to only be portrayed as the villain for lashing out at the people who taunted and provoked them in the first place? So thirsty they don't care anymore if they drink water or blood? And nothing can stop the rage inside them? One of my favourite kinds of villains to write.

Give and Take by Poor Man's Poison. I really enjoy this song, very similar to Feed the Machine by the same group. It's about the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer until they've had enough and snap. Not only does this song help inspire me for writing greedy, selfish villains, but it is yet another one that inspires me to write victims pushed so far past their breaking point that society would rather label them a villain than actually identify and solve the issues that led them to that path. One of my favourite types of conflicts to explore in writing!

Hope you enjoyed the answers, my friend! I had to include little blurbs about the songs because I just love them so much. Lol, it's a good thing the limit was 5 songs because if given the opportunity I would talk endlessly about music I love and the themes and how it inspires me to write different villains and conflicts 🥰🥰🥰

Tagging: @kimium, @kamikazequail, @backwardshirt, @sithmonarch, @thedevilsfamiliar

[lilyvandersteen]

Home Away From Home by @lilyvandersteen

This story was written for the Klaine Prompt Reverse Bang, and is dedicated to @justgleekout, who made art for this prompt, and to my faithful beta @hkvoyage. Thank you so much!

Summary:

Cooper buys a hotel sight unseen and asks Blaine to run it for him over the summer. Only, the hotel is a health and safety hazard and Inspectors Hummel and Abrams are hell-bent on closing it down. Can Blaine spruce the hotel up in time and save Cooper's investment?

Rated M. Warning for the use of a rape drug in the story. No actual rape, though, I assure you.

You can also read this story on AO3.

~~~~~~

Prologue

Thump!

Blaine woke with a start as he fell out of bed.

“Oops!” said his roommate, wincing sympathetically. “Didn’t mean to push you that hard, but you just wouldn’t wake up.”

Blaine groaned and rubbed his sore bottom as he got up, squinting at his alarm clock. “Tina! It’s three o’clock in the morning! Why would you wake me up at this hour?”

“So you could answer your phone. Or silence it. It’s been blaring off and on for at least ten minutes. You’re lucky I haven’t smashed it to bits yet!”

Right on cue, Blaine’s phone went off again. He grabbed it and tapped the Answer button.

“Hey squirt!” Cooper boomed.

“Don’t call me… Coop, why on EARTH are you waking me up in the middle of the night?”

“What? It’s not… Oh, hang on, time difference. Right. Didn’t think of that, squirt, sorry.”

Blaine sighed. “Don’t call me squirt. And okay, I guess you’re filming somewhere at the other side of the world again?”

“Yes, we’re working on that fantasy series for Netflix that I told you about. I’m in Thailand right now. Flying to New Zealand tomorrow. I’m having a total blast.”

“That’s great. Now tell me, what was so important you had to tell me right this minute?”

“Oh! Oh, just you wait, you’re going to LOVE this!”

“Uh-oh,” Blaine mumbled between gritted teeth. “What now?”

Cooper either didn’t hear him, or pretended not to.

“You know how you’re always telling me to stop spending my money on stuff like cars and tech, right?”

Blaine huffed. “And with good reason. You spend an obscene amount on gadgets. And that Bugatti is SO over the top.”

“Exactly!” said Cooper. “Well, now I’ve made a ‘sound investment’, as you call it. Real estate, as you advised.”

Blaine’s heart leapt. “Really? You bought a place in New York? And you’re calling me to ask me if I will move in with you? The answer’s yes!”

Tina put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

“Nah… No. Not exactly.”

Blaine’s sense of misgiving tingled.

“I didn’t buy a house. I bought a hotel. It was a steal, I’m telling you. I couldn’t pass it up!”

“A hotel? Where? Why?”

“Well, I won’t be this pretty forever, you know,” Cooper explained. “And then I might not get booked as an actor anymore. So I needed to find a back-up plan for when I stop being in demand. Talked about it with the guys here over lunch, and Sebastian Smythe, who plays my younger brother in the series we’re filming, said he had a hotel he could sell me. I kind of like the thought of offering people a nice vacation, you know. A home away from home. Maybe I could do a one-man show after dinner. Like they do on cruises. Doesn’t that sound amazing?”

“Yes, yes, that’s all very well, but you’re still filming now. So who’s going to run the hotel?”

“Well, that’s where you come in,” Cooper announced cheerfully. “You’re done with your exams, right? And now you’ve got several months off. So you can go check out the hotel for me. See if the staff that’s in place is okay or needs to be replaced.”

“Coop, are you insane?”

“Think of it as a free vacation, squirt. I’m sure the staff will pamper you once they find out you’re the brother of the new owner!”

Blaine shook his head slowly in disbelief. “Have you even SEEN the place before you bought it?”

“On the website, yes. It looks great!”

“Ugh, Coop! So you saw a couple of pretty pictures on a website and shelled out a fortune sight unseen? How can you be sure the place even exists?”

Cooper chuckled. “Well, of course it exists! The previous owner sent me an Excel spreadsheet with the bookings. It’s booked solid for the rest of the year already! Just think what a fortune I’m going to make!”

Blaine tugged at his curls in frustration, repressing an ungodly urge to strangle his brother. “UN-BE-LIEVE-A-BLE. You are unbelievable! Okay, not everyone has a head for business, but I can’t believe you are THIS much of an idiot! Are you sure you’re actually my brother and George Anderson’s son? Our father would have a conniption if he found out about this!”

“I thought you’d be happy I’d followed your advice.”

Blaine could almost hear his brother’s pout.

He sighed, raking a hand through his hair again.

“I know you meant well. But… Buying a place without even visiting it first is not a good idea, and that’s putting it mildly. There could be all sorts of things wrong with it. If you say you didn’t pay much, that’s quite likely, in fact. This ‘investment’ of yours may be just as useless as that Nintendo Wii Supreme you just had to have.”

“Hey! It’s not useless! I’ve used it a lot!” Cooper protested. “And I’m sure it’s all on the up and up. As I said, the pics on the website look fantastic!”

Blaine pinched the bridge of his nose and suppressed another sigh. Talking to Cooper was very much like talking to a toddler, sometimes.

“Coop … Anyone can copy-paste a couple of nice pictures onto a website. That doesn’t prove anything. Did the realtor give you a virtual tour?”

“Uhm… No.”

“Did you pay someone to do a thorough inspection of the property before you bought it?”

“No.”

“Please tell me that the offer you made had a home inspection contingency, at least?”

“Uhm… No idea.”

Blaine’s voice rose an octave. “A title contingency, to make sure no-one else can claim the property?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you even so much as look the hotel up on TripAdvisor to see if it had good reviews?”

“Nope, didn’t think of that.”

“Oh, Coop…” Blaine groaned. “What a mess! You need to go there, stat, and check the property from top to bottom. You actually bought it already, right? It’s not just an offer you can withdraw?”

“It’s mine, yes. I signed a contract. But you know I can’t go check the property right now. I’m heading to New Zealand tomorrow, and I’m needed there for at least six more weeks.”

Blaine let his head down, overwhelmed. “Ugh… I’m not awake enough for this. Coop, send me all the info, and the contract, by e-mail. I’ll look it over and see what our options are.”

“I knew I could count on you, squirt. Thanks a lot. I’ll send you everything. And now I’ll let you sleep. Sorry again for waking you up, and talk to you later!”

Cooper rang off, and Blaine was left staring at the phone in his hands in bewilderment.

Tina cocked her head to the side. “So… Your brother bought a hotel? Just like that?”

Blaine nodded. “Just like that. And then recruited me to sort everything out for him. Oh, this is going to be a disaster!”

“Why are you in such a panic about this, Blainey Days? Surely, your brother wouldn’t let himself be duped?”

Blaine groaned. “Oh, yes, he would!”

He patted Tina on the arm. “But that’s my problem, not yours. You can go back to bed, and I’m sorry my idiot brother woke you up like that. I’ll make you pancakes in the morning to make up for it, okay?”

“Okay. G’night.”

Blaine wearily shuffled back to his bed, and was out like a light.

By six a.m., though, he was awake again, worrying.

After half an hour of tossing and turning, he got up quietly and started up his computer.

Cooper had sent the files, as requested.

The contract did not have a home inspection contingency nor a title contingency, as Blaine had feared.

The hotel wasn’t in a nice touristy location. It was in the middle of nowhere. A place called Lima, Ohio.

Also, the hotel had certainly not been a “steal”. Cooper must have sunk a lot of capital into it.

The photos on the website did look good, yes, but as soon as Blaine checked the reviews about the hotel on TripAdvisor, he knew they had to be fake.

All of the reviews were negative. And it was bad. Worse even than Blaine had feared.

The mildest complaint was one about the lack of free Wi-Fi. It went steadily downhill from there.

Guests complained about the hotel being overbooked. About dirty and stinky rooms. About a faulty outlet that fried their shaver. About bed bugs and cockroaches. About leaking taps that kept them up all night. About wanting a nice hot shower and only getting freezing cold water. About noisy neighbours that kept them up all night because the walls were so flimsy you could hear everything through them. About beds that creaked with every move they made and mattresses so old and thin their back was in knots. About sweltering heat in summer and bone-deep cold in winter, because the air conditioning units didn’t work. About the stale bread and lukewarm coffee they got for breakfast. About seeing mice in the restaurant. About rude staff that would come into their room without even knocking or that were accused of stealing money and a phone charger. About the lack of elevators and ramps for wheelchairs. And a blind person complained about their assistance dog not being let in.

When he’d read all of the scathing reviews, Blaine let out his breath in a big woosh.

 Oh, Cooper, what have you done now?

Blaine felt like banging his head on the table in frustration, but refrained, choosing to get started on the pancakes instead.

When Tina emerged from her bedroom and saw how unhappy her roommate looked, she steered him towards a kitchen chair to give him a shoulder massage, saying, “Tell me all about it, Bee.”

So Blaine told her everything.

She whistled low. “I know the place. I grew up in Lima. And that hotel was where I lost my virginity after prom.”

Blaine shuddered. “TMI!”

Tina laughed. “Oh please! That’s something everyone does in high school. Get over yourself!”

Blaine wouldn’t meet her eyes, thinking of the only school dance he’d ever been to and how that had ended.

“Not everyone,” he mumbled.

“Well, anyway,” said Tina, “the place was a dump even then. I’d say sell it again immediately. But who’s going to want it? And even if someone does, they’ll pay a lot less than your brother did, so he’ll lose a lot of money.”

“Yep.”

“Can he afford to lose that much money?”

“Nope.”

Tina clacked her tongue. “Then we’ll have to do what we can to save the situation.”

“We?”

Tina put her hands on her hips. “Yes, well, unlike SOME people, I believe in roommate solidarity. Don’t think I didn’t hear you, telling Cooper you’d move in with him!”

“I meant for you to come with me, of course,” Blaine tried weakly, but Tina wasn’t having it, sending him a fierce glare.

Blaine looked down and swallowed, remembering how happy he’d been for a moment before Cooper had dashed his hopes. “Sorry. I just… I saw myself living in one of those pretty brownstones, and I jumped the gun. Sorry. As it happens, you don’t need to be scared I’ll leave you in the lurch. If I want a brownstone, I’ll have to buy one with my own money one day. Cooper’s proved once again that I shouldn’t count on him. And I was a fool to think I could, even for a split second. He’s an idiot, and all he ever does is make my life difficult. I should know that by now. He’s proved it so many times.”

“Aww, don’t be so hard on him.”

Blaine put a pancake on his plate and drowned it in syrup. Then he started shovelling big bites into his mouth, chewing with vigour and determinedly not looking at Tina.

“Blaine, don’t be like that. He made a mistake. We all do that, don’t we?”

Blaine swallowed a piece of pancake and retorted, “Our mistakes don’t cost millions of dollars. That’s the difference.”

“Well, he’ll make more millions, won’t he? How much does he get for that acting job he’s doing now?”

Blaine shrugged. “Dunno. But it had better be a lot, if we’re to renovate the hotel he bought. Let me first check with Monique if we can get that contract voided, though. I don’t think we’ll be that lucky, but it won’t hurt to check.”

“Who’s Monique?”

“She works for my father,” Blaine clarified. “Has done so for years. She’s like part of the family. I’ve known her since I was very little. Played with her daughter in my father’s office.”

“Hmm, so how could she help you? And why would she?”

“Monique has a soft spot for me,” Blaine smiled, thinking of all the scrapes with his father she’d gotten him out of. “And she knows this stuff like the back of her hand. She does everything that’s to do with real estate for my father. Buying, selling, finding contractors for renovation works, buying furniture for buildings, you name it, she does it.”

Tina cocked her head to the side. “Why didn’t Cooper contact her then, if he wanted to buy a hotel?”

“Coop’s more of a split-second decision kind of guy,” Blaine told her. “Never looks before he leaps. And then he looks to me to solve the problems he’s created. It’s exhausting.”

“You’d think he were the younger brother,” Tina giggled.

“Yep. He’s almost forty, but he still has the impulse control of a four-year-old.”

After breakfast and doing the dishes, Blaine called Monique and explained the situation, sending her all the documents. She confirmed what he thought – there was no backing out of the contract anymore.

Ugh.

“Could you check if the place is Cooper’s outright, please?” Blaine asked. “Seeing as there’s no title contingency, there’s no knowing who else might have a claim on it.”

“I’ll look into it,” Monique said, “but I don’t think you need to worry about that.”

“Oh, and please don’t tell our father about this, Monique, okay?” Blaine implored her. “He’d go ballistic, and even though Coop is a moron, I don’t want him dead.”

Monique laughed and promised not to breathe a word about it to Mr. Anderson. “And if you need any help fixing the place up, you know who to call. Glad to help, whatever you need!”

“Well, the first thing we’re going to need is pest control. So if you know a good pest control firm over there in Ohio?”

Monique hummed and click-clacked on her keyboard for a minute or two. Then she said, “We’ve worked with Orkin, based in Cincinnati, Ohio. Did the job well. I’ll e-mail you their contact information. What else?”

“An HAVC specialist, a handyman and an electrician to fix all sorts of stuff, and a reliable plumber. Oh, and another thing… You buy loads of office furniture and supplies cheap in auctions, right? When companies go bust and their assets are sold to pay the debts?”

“That’s right. Want me to look for hotel stuff for you?”

“Yes, please. Furniture, mattresses, quality linens, you name it, we’re going to need it. Thanks, Monique!”

Monique chuckled. “It’s your brother who should say thank you. The things we do for that boy, right?”

“Right,” Blaine sighed. “Looks like I’m heading to Ohio for the summer. I’ll keep you posted, Monique, and thanks again!”

[lonesomedreamer]

The Rings of Power Liveblog: “Adar” (Episode 3)

In which the wheels finally come off this cart. (But not because Galadriel rides a horse.)

I just don’t care about Arondir being captured by Orcs.

“Halbrand” is so punchable. Ugh.

These sailors must be Númenóreans, right?

I love how secretive the captain is being…surely Galadriel recognizes the uniforms/insignia, even if the audience doesn’t. Reverse dramatic irony, if you will.

“The island kingdom of Númenor.” Surprising absolutely no one who knows their Tolkien. Still, nice cinematography and design work in this sequence.

this is probably not how I would design Númenor, but it is gorgeous. I said “wow” out loud.

While the design’s a little on-the-nose, I appreciate the obvious visual links between Númenor to Gondor.

“Is that an Elf?” Elves—both canonically and in this series—do not look so different from Men (especially Númenóreans!) that some dockworker would look at Galadriel, with her messy hair and days-old plain white shift, and immediately go, “Oh, must be an ELF!”

Really liking the Mediterranean vibes of the city architecture.

“In time they broke off all contact [with Elves].” Did they? They envied the Elves’ immortality, and eventually, goaded by Sauron, they tried to sail to Valinor and were therefore destroyed…but this seems like a stretch for the sake of Drama.*

I’m sorry, the subtitle said this dude is Elendil??? (Whose name literally means “Elf-friend”, btw.)

Wow, so subtle. No foreshadowing at all.

It’s giving Constantinople.

They’re taking Galadriel to meet the queen and no one thinks to offer her a new dress or even a cloak to wear??

Actually, they might be leaning too hard on the Mediterranean/Byzantine aesthetic…Númenor is an island, sure, but these people don’t look like they inhabit the same universe as the characters we’ve met in Episodes 1 and 2 tbh.

Not Halbrand telling Galadriel, who is more or less an Elven princess and who was born in fucking Valinor, that she should kneel in front of royalty!!!

And of course it turns out that he’s wrong about that, lmfao.

Why are they so instantly antagonistic? The queen’s hostile, Galadriel’s defensive—why??? Frankly: why is everyone in this Middle-earth so overtly racist all the time?

This would be a nice time for a history lesson: tell the audience that Númenórean royals are descended from Elros, Elrond’s brother, which means they’re also descended from Elves (specifically, from Lúthien Tinúviel, his great-grandmother). However, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that they will not bring that up…

Again with an Elf (Galadriel now) being in an unreasonable hurry…three DAYS? That would be literally nothing to her!

I don’t understand the writing/adaptation choices made here. Elendil? Isildur?! They lived almost two thousand years after the titular Rings of Power were forged! @ the screenwriters: pick a LANE. You can tell the story of the forging of the Rings (S.A. 1500-1600) OR the events that led to the Last Alliance of Men and Elves (S.A. 3430), but how can you look at the source material and say “why not both????”

I love a good naval/shipboard sequence, and the shots of the sea are breathtaking. It’s just that all the stuff related to Isildur is wasted screentime.

I can’t believe they’re actually going to acknowledge that “Elendil” means “Elf-friend” as a way to show the queen as a narrow-minded bigot, lol…

She’s written/acted as a Cersei knockoff.

Helping/bringing an Elf to Númenor is treason? Please be serious.

He’s kind of hot, help?

“The sea is always right.” What a dumb catch phrase.

“And that’s how Elendil came to possess Narsil!” Give me a big fucking break. Warriors have swords, and in legends, many swords have names. Not everything needs an origin story!

[record scratch] So this—after the awful exchange between Elendil and the queen and the equally bad Orc torture session with Arondir—was the point when I realized: I need to change the way I approach this show if I want to keep indulging in all the eye-candy. It’s not and cannot be Tolkien, or even a proper adaptation, in any meaningful sense. It’s an especially pretty but still “edgy,” borderline grimdark fantasy show loosely based on Tolkien’s work and set in his universe. Fine. Let’s go.

Galadriel knows parkour!

I want to be mad, but it’s all so pretty.

The way Galadriel has more chemistry with Elendil than with Halbrand, oof.

How big is this island, exactly? I always pictured the Valar having to sink something like…Sicily-sized, not Great Britain/Japan-sized, lol.

Oh, it’s the infamous slow-mo horse ride that pissed off so many people online. What’s the big deal?? It lasted for about ten seconds! Jackson relied on a ridiculous amount of slow motion in the LOTR films, and people have called those “cinematic masterpieces” for decades…

[Redacted] is supposed to be a master manipulator—think a charismatic cult leader type. Halbrand is…well, not that.

Wow, is the guy who just single-handedly murdered and mutilated a bunch of grown men (after he stole from them and was confronted about it) going to turn out to be a villain? Who can say??

“You knew Elros.” By all rights and internal logic, Elros should be the Númenórean featured in Season 1 rather than Elendil. But hey, Elros is mentioned! Cool! I asked for that, after all. (Now tell us who he was and why he matters.)

Shocker: they do not tell us those things.

“I was always closer with his brother.” He’s my son-in-law. Galadriel and the writers: Celeborn whom? (And wasn’t Galadriel righteously pissed at Elrond just a few days ago?)

Yeah, definitely hot.

“By [Morgoth’s] successor.” When I was little, my dad simplified deeper Tolkien history/lore for me by calling Sauron Morgoth’s “son”…it took me years to unlearn that, lmao.

Look, I love the Harfoots and am not ashamed to say it. They’re fun and charming, plus I’m actually invested in Nori and her story arc. I almost fast-forwarded to find out when they would show up! But the whole “anyone who falls behind gets left behind” mentality makes no sense.

“You’re just a child!” Marigold could’ve piped up with that when the entire community was threatening to abandon Nori and her family…

The way Isildur is written to be a slightly whiny, thoroughly twenty-first century teenager is fascinating. Like a car crash.

“There’s nothing for us on our Western shores.” Foreshadowing!

I’m not interested in Elendil’s family drama. And regardless of how lovely she is to look at, I don’t care any more about Galadriel’s massive error in judgment wrt interactions with Halbrand any more than I do about Arondir and the Orcs. This entire Númenor subplot was a mistake!

I was wondering when the Stranger would do something help the Brandyfoots. The actors playing him and Nori do excellent facial work, too. My heart broke a little when he said, “Friend.” Though he’s not Gandalf, not the real Gandalf, he’s still kind of lovable.

And instead of ending on that shot, they throw in some more grimdark Orc content. Skip!

The Good:

The music and visuals are still great. I’m a sucker for seascapes and great architecture. All the little details in the streets and palaces of Númenor were incredibly impressive, and the visual connections between Númenor to Gondor (presumably for the sake of non-readers who might not know) were nice. Many of the costumes were also beautiful. The visuals are where the show’s ultra high-budget reveals itself.

Shout-out to great-great-great-great grandpa Elros!

Elendil’s kind of hot. Galadriel’s gorgeous. We’re already so far from the light of Valinor that Galadriel should ditch “Halbrand” before they even get involved and hook up with Elendil instead.

The actors playing the Harfoots—Nori and Poppy in particular—and the Stranger are killing it! This show should just be about them. They continue doing a lot with very little.

The Bad:

Everything else? Where to begin…

The decline of the writing is noticeable. The dialogue is significantly worse, the foreshadowing is clumsy and obvious, and of course as an adaptation of the source material, this episode threw out both bathwater and baby. Elendil and Isildur are included for the same reason all kinds of IPs now include legacy characters: instant name recognition = (in theory) a dopamine hit for the viewer.

To make this even worse, I think the writers bungled Isildur’s character in hopes of making him “relatable” to appeal to a younger audience, I guess? He’s the Wesley Crusher of TROP.

Elros is mentioned…but the audience learns almost nothing about him, not even that he was the first king!

The entire Númenor arc is, in fact, a waste. The queen is two-dimensional. No explanation is given for the Númenóreans’ dislike/mistrust of Elves. Isildur’s storyline is a coming-of-age/family drama arc this show did not need, never mind that neither he nor Elendil should be alive for another two millennia (!) anyway. Halbrand sucks even more than before without becoming any more interesting. Galadriel doesn’t shine here, either. And despite the impressively detailed sets, even the Númenórean costumes seem visually unrelated the rest of the show’s own universe.

In short, it almost feels like Galadriel was dropped into a different fantasy world for this episode.

I mentioned him, but Halbrand gets his own bullet point again.

Arondir and his gory, violent imprisonment storyline…thanks, I hate it! It’s anti-Tolkien! It’s grimdark! It sucks!!!

The Harfoots’ beliefs and customs are inconsistent and confusing. Nomadic people and hunter/gatherer societies don’t just abandon people who need care! But they’re still the high point of the show imo. Not a compliment to the writers.

It’s almost funny…my opinions on this episode are diametrically opposed to most of the IMDb reviews I read. I like the Harfoot subplot in spite of its problems, I adore Nori, and I don’t hate Galadriel (either the character or the actress—God forbid women do anything) despite the weak writing. I also couldn’t care less about Arondir and found the Orc scenes totally unwatchable for several reasons. Go figure! This show’s not really worth it even for its beauty, but now I’m sort of invested.

*I went back and looked through the Appendices after I finished this episode, and eventually (many years after this show supposedly takes place…) the Númenórean kings, jealous of the Elves’ immortality, did “turn away” from them and even “punished” people who spoke their languages in public—after which the Elves “came no more to Númenor,” understandably. But it’s at least 700 years in the future if this show is set before the Rings were forged! This kind of unnecessary time compression in an epic, multi-season TV series makes no sense to me.

[justagalwhowrites]

Re: my last comments about wanting to reread Lavender.

Have you ever thought about any differing OG Lavender-verse where Joel does get over his shit a little quicker? I’m still mad at him for *spoilers* being mad at her for not telling him about the thing. Like it’s so reasonable that she was going to but *things* got in the way. And what she went through to TRY to keep everybody safe… ugh. It’s telling how traumatized he is that he couldn’t get it together but I think sometimes he was too hardheaded.

Also, I never thought about it but as you say in the AU he’s her everything. That’s me & my now husband. He was older (6 years, not crazy) and my first and only. Now 16 years later and married and still very happy, maybe I appreciate that story element bc I relate ❤️

Hi Bestie!!

I'm going to go in reverse order kinda because part of this reply is gonna be REAL long lol!

That's so sweet with you and your husband!!! I'm so happy that you can relate to that and that you found that with him, that's so lovely <3

Spoilers for Lavender below the cut!

So there were a few points where things could have diverged in the OG Lavender-verse. The big one being, Doc doesn't lose the baby. He would still be traumatized as fuck and their relationship would be rocky but they may never fully break up (or, if they did, it wouldn't be for as long because Evie would force them to see each other and they couldn't keep their hands each other if they had to be around each other often.) Their relationship would have been ROCKY though and I'm not sure it would have lasted as Evie grew closer to adulthood.

There were some other points where things could have been different, too. The first time Doc leaves the QZ and it's just her and Joel and they run into raiders on the way back? By that point, Joel was kind of at this tipping point. He was so shaken by the near loss of her - and they'd just slept together the night before and had been in such close proximity for more than a day by that point - that he was very nearly ready to try to get her to give him another shot. Her freak out about the raiders - and her snapping and telling him that Sarah's death was NOT on her - pushed him the other way. Now if they'd gotten back together here, I'm not sure it would have stuck for long? She may have latched on tighter and not let him pull away when he started to devolve again but otherwise, he'd still be coping with a lot of the same trauma brain shit he was otherwise and it would have taken its toll.

Another time was after McCarthy comes to the QZ, when he finally knows everything that happened during the outbreak and feels so guilt ridden about it all. If they'd had sex that night, they'd have been together again at least for a while. But trauma brain Joel would have come along to ruin the party again.

The big thing is, the QZ was an inherently retraumatizing place to be, especially for Joel (the militarized power, being surrounded by death, etc.) and his brain going "HEY CARING ABOUT SOMEONE IN A PLACE LIKE THIS WILL LEAD TO YOUR DEATH" would, at the very least, make their relationship's survival a constant fucking struggle. The reason it sticks later is a combination of things. 1) He's at this unique point of "she's leaving and you will never see her again, you are losing her, this is the end" that forces him to admit just how much he cares about her in spite of trying to push her away for so many years. It also forces him to realize just how desperate he is to keep from losing her. He can't live without her, proximity (or lack there of) won't change that for him. 2) They're forced to stay together and work together to get Ellie to where she needs to go, so things that might normally force distance can't. She can't run to Andrew, he can't run to Tess, they can only turn to each other and they do. 3) They end up in Jackson, which is a far more healthy environment than the QZ, and - outside of shit like KC and stuff with the fireflies and a few blips along the way - the trek west is relatively peaceful compared to QZ life. Yes they're under threat and cautious and it's a struggle to survive BUT you're not being held at gunpoint by agents of the state and burning the bodies of dead children on the regular, a vast improvement over QZ life (and obviously major triggers for Joel.) This gives Joel some emotional space to come to terms with his trauma and start to heal and recover, pulling him out of this cycle of constant retraumatization. It's like with Maslow's hierarchy of needs. QZ Joel could never make it past that first level, when he constantly felt like his life was at risk he can't do the bigger work of healing and self actualizing. All his emotional energy is spent on survival. Once he has the space to do it, he can start to heal and be a partner to Doc.

ANYWAY I know I basically wrote a super long novel here lol! I hope it makes sense (and know that my interpretation is NOT the only valid one!!! It's definitely OK to be like "nah I think if they'd done x differently it would have worked.") I definitely get sad about all their lost years from time to time but I'm so glad they found their way back to each other in the end.

Thank you for reading and for reaching out!! Love you!!!

[crystalflygeo]

amber eyes gazed upon the clouds fogging the peaks of liyue’s mountains. a gentle breeze rustled his dark locks and dragon-embroidered coat, a sense of serenity ever present on his expression, yet betrayed by the rumbling earth beneath his feet.

a geo crystalfly fluttered and landed on his extended finger; the creature’s glimmering wings flapping slowly as it rested on its momentary perch.

waiting was something he was used to doing, yet sometimes the restlessness plagues his immortal mind.

“hmm….”

he could feel the geo constructs around him reverberating; holy statues infused with geo, the amber stones, the cor lapis reserves — like ripples on water, it continued on and on until eventually it dissipated. had he worn his draconic form, perhaps his horns too would have visibly responded to the resonance.

it felt like someone was looking for him.

a worried friend, mayhaps.

the man chuckled, a gloved hand absentmindedly toying with the collar of his clothes. the mark hidden underneath seeming to tingle.

ships constantly come and go from and to liyue harbor, and yet his senses managed to pick out a familiar presence amongst the sea of people. he slowly rose from his seat and watched as the crystalfly fluttered away, before turning towards the direction of the city, a relieved smile playing at the edges of his lips.

“welcome home, jīngdié.”

the mortals would be glad to know that the earthquakes and stormy weather in the neighboring nation will be stopping soon.

It was a strange feeling, to feel like an outsider at your own homeland, even moreso when people greeted you and called you along the street markets from the harbor and into the residential areas of the city.

Crys looked around at everything and everyone, her neck straining already like a nervous animal, her ears flickering in different directions. Everything felt vaguely familiar and she walked along the stone paths flawlessly threading around without even noticing. Kazuha followed along with a knowing smile. He didn't utter a single word as to not distract her even more but he could see they were approaching Feiyun slope.

"Oh... I know this place. Xigu antiques sells all kinds of expensive items... and that's Xinyue kiosk my favorite restaurant... hm... and if you go through there you'll get to-"

"Crys?! Oh Crys there you are!" A young woman with dark hair and glasses rushes up to her. A man with silver hair follows her more calmly, a little immersed in a book though he looks up at her. Kazuha and him cross stares. "I've been worried sick, are you ok? what happened?"

"A-ah..." Her ears droop. "I'm sorry I... I got lost. I lost my memories. I don't remember who you are, my apologies."

Her friend's eyes widen. "Lost... your memories?"

"It's... a very long story. She was in inazuma and seems like a youkai trick got the best of her, my name is Kazuha." The ronin introduces himself.

"I'm Meirin. But... i-it can be reversed right? You can go back to normal?" She asks worried.

"Rin..." Crys murmurs, as if the name rang a bell in her subconscious.

"Yes." Kazuha replies instead. "It's part of why we're here, Crys is getting better but according to Lady Guuji of the Grand Narukami Shrine her name was stolen, and the only way to break the spell is for her to remember it. Her true name, I mean."

"Stealing a name?"

"I've read about that before once or twice." The silver haired man interjects. "Stealing the victim's identities and giving them a new one that grants them control over the individual, eventually making them forget all about their lives and follow along with fabricated memories."

"Ugh" Meirin places a hand at her forehead. "And isn't just that what we've been trying to figure out habibi?" She steals a glance at the man "So, it's not Spring Bringer, right?"

"That's..." Crys blinks. "Part of who I am yes, but... so you don't know either?" She asks defeated.

"In Sumerian legends about Djinn only their master or those close to them knew of their real name, for it would grant them a certain control over the Djinn." He places a hand at his chin pensively. "It seems similar to some tales about Liyue's Yakshas so perhaps the same principle applies."

Crys places a hand at her shoulder absentmindedly. Someone close to her... one of her mates?

"Guuji Yae did say the other adepti would help her."

"In that case we need to head to Jueyun Karst?"

"Wait! There's someone else, someone who can definitely help!" Meirin says nervously. "but we need to find him first, ah, I wonder if it worked..."

"There's no need to fret."

That deep smooth voice. It resonates with her.

Crys turns, instinctively attracted like a crystalfly to the thrum of elemental energy.

Both hers and Meirin's geo visions glow slightly.

There stands a tall man in elegant dark clothes, long chocolate hair tied in a low ponytail and amber eyes sharp and warm. He approaches at a calm pace, arms behind his back in perfect posture and a smile on his lips. Crys doesn't know why but her heart flips in her chest.

Ah, correction, she knows very well why...

"You..."

[perpetual-canon]

Perpetual Canon Chapter 1. Light in The End of The Rabbit Hole

before / 11. reversed Taken / next where it started / navigation / about the story

That feeling when you lose your step dad after you already lost him in a teenage rebellion.

OR: Unwrapping 50 Levels of Guilt and Other Fun Activities for You and Your Family (The Flashback).

day 1

He’s not down for dinner, but Noodle doesn’t notice. She hasn't left her semi basement room for any type of evening meal in weeks and she will not be doing that until her mini-fridge runs out of supplies, and that’s just how it is.

day 3

She tends to skip lunches in the kitchen too, and Muds is never up or coherent enough when she swings by for breakfast.

This is not intentional, really. (That’s what Noodle would say, if anyone questioned her about it.) “We just live on different schedules”, she would probably add after that. “Whole time zones apart”.

It’s been years and no one ever once asked her why some days she barely sees her family. But Noodle still keeps the answer fresh and ready in her mind. Just in case.

She doesn’t even know Murdoc is not home.

day 5

Stu is in the living room and he’s pacing. He says that he’s fine, and that he’s okay, and that he’s grateful for a breather, and that it’s too early to worry anyway.

“Well it’s 6pm, and already getting dark”, Noodle notes airily.

“So his evening bar run is just starting”, adds Russ.

Noodle stays for dinner this evening.

Murdoc doesn’t come back.

day 6

Russ says Murdoc’s voice message box is full.

Would Muds be disappointed or sad that only five of those messages were from her, Noodle wonders.

"It has happened before”, she says to herself, mindlessly scrolling through the phone apps. “He’ll be back soon, maybe hungover, definitely apologetic, and will immediately fall asleep on the couch and-”.

He doesn’t come back that day either.

day 7

It’s the fourth time Noodle gets a phone call from this number. There’s an equal chance of it being a stalker, or a bar owner asking to pick up the trash-man from a sidewalk couple blocks over.

“Ugh, thank Satan, finally!” sighs Murdoc’s voice on the other side. “This is urgent, it’s the second day I’m trying- you know what, doesn’t matter. Ha-hah…” he cuts himself, suddenly sounding nervous. “Listen, I’m in prison and-”

Noodle hangs up.

day 8

She doesn’t get another call until noon. It makes sense – two attempts each day at the same time. She’s tempted to test it, to decline the first call, just because she can, her finger hovering over the red button.

Noodle hits the green one at the ninth loop of the bubbling melody.

First thing she hears is a relieved sigh. “Before you say anything – I’m sorry! But I am also not sorry at all, because, hear me out, it’s different this time“.

“And how so?” Her voice is more distant than tired.

“I’m not guilty”.

She hangs up.

day 8 still

He has called again of course. Explained how he couldn’t reach his lawyer, and “fuck her honestly”, because he “needs heavy artillery on this anyway”. Because, apparently, his case is already going to trial. And, somehow, he still was not sure what he was being accused of.

“They keep saying it’s “smuggling charges” but smuggling of what? How in the bloody hell this case on me was opened for what? Months? And I’m just finding out about it? They say I’ve missed all initial hearings, Noods, it smells bad all over, and I’m not speaking only about my lovely cell here”.

And it does really look bad. If he isn’t lying or exaggerating, of course. Wouldn’t be the first time. Maybe this is a simple misconduct charge blown out of proportion to excuse him running away for a while?

Still, yesterday Noodle found the worn looking card in the pocket of Murdoc’s old jacket, and called the K.D. number for him. He must feel really worried if he’s hiring this one. Noodle doesn’t know much about K.D., but “the best lawyer for the worst situations” rumor about her was low key circulating celebrity circles for quite some time now.

Noodle decides to wait until dinner before telling Russ and Stu.

“See, D? Knowing him, he’ll be back in two days, and twice as annoying as ever”, huffs Russel. Stuart doesn’t say anything, just sits down on the couch looking deep in thought. Way back in the days, when Stu got like this, Noodle would climb over the back of that couch to sit with him, and they’d end up playing video games until one of them fell asleep or they woke up Russel with lots of incoherent screaming.

But this was way back. In the Days.

Today-Noodle waves Stu goodnight and crawls to her room to pick on guitar and scroll the news feed ‘till 4am.

day 11

He doesn’t come back.

day 12

Noodle calls the number on her incoming calls list, and gets an unhelpful intern who seems to be first week on the job. She calls the local precinct and the closest prison and Murdoc is not there either. But nearly an hour of all “pleasestayonhold”s later she finally gets to a competent sounding official. Who, with automatic practised detachment, chatters that trial went smoothly and without a hitch, and Murdoc F. Niccals is currently being processed into prison next town over to serve his sentence, visitation will be available in a couple days after he is settled, thanks for understanding and cooperation.

 “And how long is that sentence?” Noodle tries to ask, but they already hang up.

She sits in the dark for a while after that, petting Katsu and thinking about nothing. Then she gets up and goes up to the kitchen for dinner.

Better if they learn the news from her than from, well. The news.

day 13

She keeps thinking though. 

Stuart went to his room last night looking absent. Even farther away than usual. But he didn’t ask Noodle anything, and didn’t comment on how strange the whole thing looks. He gave up, she saw it in the line of his shoulders and in the little rub Stu gave to his neck, to ease the oncoming migraine. Like all these days, right from the start, he just waited for the permission to stop waiting.

He just. Nodded and left. Like that was it.

Only a whole day and a broken kitchen cabinet later Noodle got that she is still angry.

Both of them just believed it, right away. When it all really sounds like total bullshit dropping out of the blue. She just hung up, and never called back, like there was no actual trial coming up, and there was no hint of real worry in Murdoc’s voice.

He hasn't asked her for help in ages. Not even once since she came back. So if he finally did… maybe it means something?

In the evening Noodle finds the stylish worn looking card again and makes an appointment with K.D.

day 20

She doesn’t see Stu much these days. He is in and out – of himself and the club in the city. She misses the times she could distract him from any worries. Or talk to Russ about hers.

Noodle looks over the business card again: K.D. in cursive with illuminati looking eye-logo over it, fax and phone number, and an email.

Murdoc’s visitation rights and phone-call time, she is informed, got revoked due to some “incident”.

This lawyer is her only lead for now.

day 21

K.D. is a pleasant looking woman past the prime of her youth. She walks and speaks like a person who always knows what she’s doing, and Noodle likes it. She likes it a lot. But she doesn’t like the things K.D. is saying to her.

“It was a good deal”, and here is one of those things. “He could’ve gotten a lot of time off his sentence, if he didn’t ditch it on a spot”. K.D. gives Noodle an all too understanding look of anyone who met Murdoc Niccals in person. “But don’t worry. I’ve got where I am for a reason, and despite Mr. Niccals’s attempts of self-sabotage, I navigated us to the best case scenario in the end”.

“With him in prison?” Noodle can’t help herself.

“Oh, I understand the distress, sometimes being family makes this harder to accept”, her smile is so professional it almost looks compassionate.

“But that was never a case he could’ve walked away from. Not at this point at least. If only he’d called me in sooner, we maybe could’ve thoroughly worked around some of the evidence… But alas”.

Noodle thinks it over for a second. “So you’re saying that he’s guilty”.

“Oh, I certainly do not”, K.D. waves her off, red nails flashing in the dim glow of the table lamp, “but it’s not a conversation you should be having with me”.

The following pause lingers a bit too long to be comfortable.

“So. Do you work cases like this one often?” Noodle tries, hoping to not come off as dismissive.

“Oh, on the backstage of Hollywood and so on? Regularly. But this one was actually a breather, pretty clean work. Usually”, she looks away for a second, something like pride or longing flashing by in her gaze, “I land way more challenging jobs”.

Noodle heard about some of them in passing and from recent late night googling. About murder charges being dropped and alleged drug dealers going free. She probably will never hear about a lot worse stuff at all, because, yes, apparently, K.D. is that good.

It just didn’t mean anything good for her reasons to believe in Murdoc.

day 25

She wants to stop thinking about it.

Noodle lays on her futon and Katsu purrs under her arm, and it still doesn’t really make sense. Him being gone. Or guilty. Or it really actually does, but she’s not quite there yet, with everyone else who sees it so clearly. They all have their “evidence” and their “experience”, and maybe she just needs some of this stuff of her own.

Katsu gives a surprised meow when Noodle sits up, scooping her up for some cuddles.

She’s going to look into it, snoop around, and figure everything out.

Who knows, maybe she’ll find more reasons to stay up for dinner along the way.

day 29 

Evidence refuses to be found.

Noodle goes through Mudses room, through his contact list on the second phone, his secret contact list in the notes app, and in the hardcover notebook, and her own stash of burner phones. She gets nothing, apart from one really questionable flirty line and couple addresses.

Stu seems to be staying at home longer lately, and at the very least it calms Noodle a bit. She puts all her upcoming plans on hold, and digs out the pink hoodie from the bottom of the closet.

It’s her time to go clubbing it seems. --- before / next