#If i have the motivation i might do this for the rest of the spirit lords but zzzz

[stikybug]

Hey is something up with my Nil or is it just me -

[iristarotreader]

⊹˚₊♡ what makes you so irresistible ♡₊˚⊹

pick-a-card reading

⋆.˚ take a deep breath and close your eyes. look at the above options and pick the image you feel the most drawn towards. scroll down to read your message. if you feel called to more than one image, then maybe there's a message that's meant for you ⋆.˚

⟢˚₊‧♡ about me

⟢˚₊‧♡ my instagram

⟢˚₊‧♡ my youtube

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪ˎˊ˗

⋆˚꩜｡ pile I ⋆˚꩜｡

⭑.ᐟ OH MY GOD BABE you've got the energy that makes people question, "do i want to be them or do i want to be WITH them?". like i'm not even being dramatic when i tell you that your energy is so positive and so comforting. you've got this magnetic pull which makes people want to be around you all the time. you're genuine, kind, and you just have this way with people. people are just naturally drawn towards you. you're irresistible because you always go out of your way to make others feel better about themselves. you're a girl's girl. no matter what the situation may be, you're always the hype-girl/boy. you make people feel good about themselves and people just love spending time in your energy. you're the life of the party and you radiate warmth. people can't ignore your presence and your laughter fills the room. you're irresistible because you form deep emotional bonds with people and they feel seen and valued by you. you attract a lot of attention and i wouldn't be surprised if people develop small crushes over you. and by people, i mean A LOT of people.

you effortlessly handle responsibilities and nothing seems too hard for you. there's no such thing as "impossible" for you. YOU GET THE WORK DONE PERIOD. in time of pressure, you flawlessly find solutions and this is such an irresistible fact about you. UGH I'M DRAWN TO YOUR ENERGY BECAUSE HOW DO YOU DO THAT PILE 1 LIKE GIMME YOUR SECRETS PLEASE. you can handle ANYTHING and you're not the type to give up that easily. you're a fighter and you're not going to rest until you're satisfied with your work. no matter how hard things get, you always, and i mean ALWAYS find a way to balance things out. your determination and your focus is what makes you irresistible. you're a great observer and i also see you taking on others' burdens just to see them smile. oh, how precious you are pile 1.

your ability to solve conflicts and bring people together is what makes you so irresistible. people can't help but listen to you. you're just a natural leader, love. people obey you. people want to obey you. you are a guardian to them and you give great advice. your intelligent nature and your responsible personality is what draws people towards you.

what makes you so irresistible is your nurturing capacity. you make people feel at ease and you actually heal their inner child. people feel so safe with you and i see that you're willing to make sacrifices just to see others smile. you have this touch of wisdom and innocence to your energy. you're empathetic and people naturally open up to you. your understanding nature and your empathetic nature is what makes you irresistible. ⭑.ᐟ

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪ˎˊ˗

⋆˚꩜｡ pile II ⋆˚꩜｡

⭑.ᐟ your enthusiasm and your curious nature is what makes you irresistible, my lovely pile 2. your interest to learn and improve yourself makes you irresistible. people love your youthful energy and your adventurous spirit. you make people feel themselves again, you know? your determination to learn and motivate others is what sets you apart. your perspectives and your vision is what makes you so irresistible. people look at you and say, "i wish my mind worked like theirs". you're an inspiration to a lot of people. they love your ability to see the good in bad. your optimistic mindset is appreciated by many. your free spirit and your enthusiasm to learn more is what makes you irresistible.

your discipline and your versatility is what makes you irresistible. your patience and your ability to trust in the process makes people drawn towards you. even though things might not be going too well for you, you never fail to smile and be your joyful self. you make people feel proud about their achievements - no matter how big or small they are - and people love how you make them feel validated and seen. people know that they can trust and rely on you. people tend to put their trust in you very easily and this can say how much of a reliable person you are.

okay now this is the important part of your reading that i have been wanting to talk to you about from the start. during the beginning of your reading, i got a feeling about your family/friends or something related to traditional rules (i hope i'm making sense here). what i'm sensing here is that you have broken the traditional ties of your family and you are living your life the way you want instead of falling under the traditional norms. and guess what? to my surprise, the 10 of pentacles fell out in reverse and my oracle card that talks about issues with family also fell out. you're not the type to let anyone control your life and this is what makes you irresistible. your rebellion, individuality and your challenging nature is what makes you so irresistible. you're not the type to follow the norms - no. you're a rule-breaker. a hot rule-breaker, even. sometimes you might feel out of place and you try to blend in with others, but you know that's not who you are. you have a difficult time finding your calling and i'm seeing that you tend to change your aesthetics a lot.

due to your rebellious nature, i'm seeing that the older generations are not a fan of your style and they do not approve of your personal identity. however, i do see that people will slowly try to understand you and will try to build a good relationship with you.

your emotional maturity and your ability to forgive people and move forward with a greater understanding is what makes you so irresistible. regardless of how badly people have treated you, you still try to maintain a harmonious relationship with them and you try to understand their side of the story. your forgiving nature is what makes you irresistible, my pile 2. ⭑.ᐟ

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪ˎˊ˗

⋆˚꩜｡ pile III ⋆˚꩜｡

⭑.ᐟ OKAY WOW PILE 3 you give me the, "put your faith in me and i will never break your trust" energy. people feel drawn to you because they know that no matter what happens, you will always have their back. you're their saviour. you're their armor. your loyalty and your dependability is what makes you so irresistible. omg i’m not even kidding when i tell you that you give me "soldier" energy. you protect the people you love and you're the type of person who is willing to take a bullet for them. you won't hesitate to stand up for the people you care about and i also see you being an inspiration for others. your advice and your positive energy is what makes you irresistible. you're a spiritual person and you give me this energy where you "guide" people into becoming better. many people depend on you for emotional support.

oh my pile 3, you have this confidence and grace that just PULLS people in. LIKE HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO DO THAT??? you have this prestigious aura and i’m seeing that people of the opposite sex find you irresistible. they want to take a bite of you. they think that you're a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and they just want to win you over. but here's the thing, you don't let their money talk nor their heart win you over. you're aware of their intentions and your self-respect is just ughhhh like damn I WANNA BE YOU. you know your worth and you know that these people are just distractions.

your motivation and your hard working nature is what makes you irresistible. you don't settle for less - AS YOU SHOULDN'T BABE. there's something safe, trustworthy and comforting about you. your energy is just flawless, love. people WANT you.

your ability to understand people's mistakes and their past is what makes you irresistible. the way you help people move on while also healing your wounds is what makes you so so damn beautiful, my love. you're vulnerable when you need to be and you're not afraid to show your weakness to the ones you love. your raw feelings and your emotional depth is what sets you apart. and the fact that you embrace people's flaws is just beautiful. you accept people for who they are and your non-judgemental nature is what makes you irresistible.

i wouldn't be surprised if many people ask you out or if they will ask you out soon because can you even blame them? you're such a beautiful person inside out and people can't help but fall in love with you. your ability to love - let it be romantic or platonic - is what makes you irresistible. pile 3, you're not afraid to show your love. many people view it as a weakness but you my love, you don't. you believe that love is the strongest form of emotion one can possess and that's what makes you irresistible. and when you love, you love with your entire heart.

i'm also seeing that you're physically alluring. like you are the standard babe. people can't take their eyes off you. your dedication to keep yourself healthy and fit is what makes you so irresistible because it takes a lot of willpower and dedication to be so committed. (this can also apply for your emotional well-being as well).

the fact that you'll not hesitate to sacrifice a part of yourself for the betterment of others is what makes you so irresistible. you're the type to put aside your own needs for the sake of others. you care more about others than yourself and people can't help but feel drawn to your energy. but please be careful, there might be some people who will try to take advantage of your caring nature. ⭑.ᐟ

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪ˎˊ˗

⭑.ᐟ hello, thank you so much for making it till the end and i hope you could resonate with my reading. i would really appreciate it if you could like and reblog my post as it would mean a lot to me!! i'd love to hear which pile you picked and what resonated with you. take care and i hope you have a lovely day/night -`♡´-

ˎˊ˗ full credit for the images and dividers goes to their original creators and rightful owners.

[fishnapple]

Positive changes coming into your life

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost

Book a reading with me - KO-FI (Read this post : personal reading)

LAPIS LAZULI

The theme is balance, your life will be much more balanced in terms of material comfort, resting and working, dream and reality. Balance means that you will learn how to adjust various areas in your life to fit each other. You will slowly understand the "rhythm" of your life, when you need to rest, when you need to focus, when you need to give, when you need to ask for what you want. During this process, you will come to get to know more about both your physical body and your spirit, giving them both equal care.

You will gain more independence, feeling like you have more control of your life than you previously thought. It might come from the stability of your surroundings, you gain more financial independence, or you will gain a new insight that helps you feel more contented with what you have, rather than seeking more and more and never feeling enough. One thing I notice is that you will focus solely on doing what's good for your growth, your decisions will be based on your gut feelings and your introspection. You will no longer feel the pull to compare yourself with others, as you follow your own heart and not be distracted by everyone around you. This period will be a tremendous growth for you.

Life will treat you fairly for your effort. Problems won't go away all at once, but you're capable of tackling them one by one. Your emotions will run high, sometimes you will feel like you're being swept along by the current of your emotions. But you will not let yourself drown in them, instead, you will surf along with them, make them into your greatest inspiration and motivation. Your mantra will be "I got this". Your inner strength will manifest outwardly. You will shed old unhealthy habits and look after your physical vessel more, being more active and flexible. A healthy heart and a healthy body will be accompanied by a fresh mind, one that can conjure up magic out of the most mundane thing.

ROSE QUARTZ

Spring is here, after a long bitter winter. A joyful time ahead. You will feel like waking up from a long slumber, sleepiness will still follow initially, life will still feel groggy, but not for long. The cold winter will finally go away, new spirit will fill your heart, and along with it, your whole body. Your steps will feel lighter, smiles will grace your face more frequently. If you've been feeling down, lost or disappointed lately, you will soon see the light peaking through new leaves. 

Your life will be much "softer". You don't need to force anything or try too hard to achieve something. You learn to feel at ease, to let yourself rest more and dream more. You don't have to walk briskly with purpose or run towards a goal, you can stroll along the streets more leisurely. Not that everything will suddenly become better or solve itself, but your attitude will change, and that's enough to make some previous problems dissipate.

If you're struggling with feeling confident and worry a lot about security, you're going to gain a new confidence boost. Maybe you will meet someone new or stumble upon a new knowledge that encourages you to take a step forward, to dare to dream bigger, be more daring. I see new acquaintances, people who are much different from you but can lift you up greatly. 

If before, pursuing what or whom you desired might seem out of reach with too many obstacles then now, you won't see those obstacles as anything of consequence anymore. You're willing to give it a try, no matter the result. And you will be rewarded for that attitude. The act of going after your dreams is exhilarating. You perceive it as a fun challenge, an experiment that you can enjoy and go at your own pace. Your energy feels both fast and languid. No frantic move, just a little bit of faith in luck and a heavy dose of romanticising that will expand your connections with the world and its people.

CARNELIAN

The theme of mental clarity will be prevalent in the upcoming period of your life. Confusion and misunderstanding will be solved quickly, or if they still linger from the past then you will gain a new understanding of them and be able to move on or find closure. You will likely gain decisive information from people around you, especially those who are close to you that will help you make decisions more easily. Prepare to speak the truth and hear the truth, no matter how unpleasant or unexpected it is. You will be more receptive to it, even when it's harsh or feel criticising, you will no longer react with hurt or too much sensitivity, because you can be detached enough to not let things go into your heart too deeply. It doesn't mean that you will be cold, on the contrary, you will be more compassionate and humble, that's the quiet power you will gain.

Unexpected events might happen around you that can alter the way you perceive the world. They might not even be related to you, you might just hear them from your friends or acquaintances, but they will open a new way of thinking for you. It's like waking up from a long slumber, you're jolted out of the sleepiness and wide awake, with a clearer mind. Don't be too alarmed if you have some arguments or debates with people, they will be great opportunities for you to sharpen your mind and exercise objective judgement. People might remark that you seem much more lively, much more assertive than before. It's just the beginning, you're slowly waking up to yourself, prioritising the vitality and jollity of your life.

TIGER'S EYE

I see fluid movements, gentle and expanding, like a person dancing. The energy inside your heart will uncoil itself and spread out gracefully. A more gentle melody will be playing for you.

This upcoming period of your life will be much more simple and straightforward. You won't concern yourself with complicated matters, heartaches or imminent catastrophes. Your focus will be on finding peace, be in it and keep enjoying life as much as possible. The energy is very soft and playful. And that's how you will overcome any hardships lurking around. 

What might have plagued your mind recently won't be so as you adopt a more carefree and spontaneous attitude. You know that nothing lasts forever, so you enjoy every moment yet also don't hold on tightly to any. The heavy burdens will be lifted from your shoulders. You need this very much. Not everything has to be about being good, being proficient, being orderly, being responsible. You will still hold yourself highly with maturity, but you don't let life's obstacles put a hiccup in the great melody that you're playing. Social life and enjoyment of beauty will be a great focus of yours. Pleasant new connections will be formed, old connections will be strengthened. 

You will find fulfilment in everyday activities. Giving and receiving will be very satisfying. You give and you will be given back in return. You will see the flow of life, the cycle of if and you will go along with it, not against it. You're active but in a quiet and accepting way. You don't need to be constantly moving, constantly striving. You let yourself rest and still, so that the working of nature can work its magic for you.

CITRINE

If you've been busy lately, having lots of things and people to take care of, or you've been feeling depleted lately, lacking the time and energy to have fun and pamper yourself, then it's about to change. You will have time to retreat into yourself, stay away from the draining influences around you for a while and have time to recenter yourself. You've been working hard, it's time to tuck yourself in cosily, have a rejuvenating rest and allow yourself to rest, to feel good. 

Life will slow down for you, not the kind of no-progress slowing down, but the kind that lets you catch your breath. The fight is over, you don't need to exert yourself all the time. Now it's time to heed the call of your heart, pull away the worries and let your energy flow into where you're called to. I see a time of discovery, of opening a new perspective. You're about to get your mind opened wide and let in many new wonders.

If you're pulled to spirituality and the occult, trust that the more you dig deeper, the more free you will feel, the more clear the road is for you. You will get intuitive messages about where to go, what to do, those messages will likely come from the sensations of your body, the involuntary reactions, like a jump of excitement, heart beating fast full of anticipation. You might wonder why you feel a strange sensation out of nowhere, or called to try out new tastes, new scents, new activities. Don't hesitate, grab hold of that sensation and honor it, you might never know what promising future it could lead you to.

AVENTURINE

You will be blessed with wise insights that allow you to move forward cautiously and strategically. You might have the tendency to act from the place of fear, defending yourself against invisible threats that endanger your stability. This survivor mentality can't protect you from harm all the time. There will be times when you have to step outside of your comfort zone and be bold and adventure forth with blind eyes. But the good news is your heart won't be blind and so is your mind. 

In the incoming period of time, you might have to face some untrustworthy words and actions that raise your doubt about the trust you placed on people. But your discernment will be wide awake during this time. This is the time of illusions shattering. You will hear clearly, see clearly and make your decisions based on facts and concrete proofs. Glibness won't be able to hide the truth from you. You stand firm in your stance and trust yourself more than ever. Your words hold wisdom and faith. You will be able to chase away trickery with humour and prudence. 

In turn, you will be rewarded with pleasant surprises. More fun adventures await you at the most unexpected times. Your light will finally have the space to shine. Don't hesitate at breaking away from old habits. You know deep within that your heart has already set its sight on a farther horizon. 

[matchatarot]

Your highest self is the most divine and accomplished version of yourself, Bunny! Connecting with your higher self gives you access to your inner wisdom & your soul’s essence. To pick a pile don’t overthink it; choose the one that draws you in the most while thinking about the reading’s intent. Only take what resonates!

Love, Matcha ♡

☆ masterlist

✿ message from your higher self part one

1 ₊˚.༄

Your higher self is grateful for how in tune you are with them. They’re asking you to continue fostering this connection with them. They’re sending you synchronicities because they want you to realize how magic you are. You’re manifesting your highest path and they’re proud of you. Your higher self wants you to step into your sensuality, your divine feminine or divine masculine. You’re currently attracting a very important life partner, so they want you to feel ready and empowered when you meet them. They’re encouraging you to continue on your spiritual path and confirming to you that you’ve been receiving the right spiritual download from your spirit team. You’re very witty! You see even their most subtle signs. They want you to use more of your practical wit in your career. They’re also wanting you to be more competitive when moving towards your dream. Focus your action taking on your goals! You’ve given a lot of yourself emotionally to your peers, though that’s great they want you to focus on your career goals now. You might be nearing the end of a project right now and they’re telling you that now is the time to complete it. Trust your intuition, just start doing it and the action you need to take will come intuitively. If you’re not doing any particular project yet, they want you to go ahead and start one. Even if you don’t understand where you’re heading, the next step will become clear while you’re working on it.

Archangel Raphael, swan, 888

↳ book a personal reading with me on ko-fi ★

2 ⊹˚˖ ☆

Your higher self is reminding you that even powerful leaders need to rest sometimes, Bunny! They’re thankful for the hard work you’ve been putting in, it is profoundly impacting your future. They’re proud of you for working so hard on your mental health. They know you’ve been through a very tough time but you’ve overcome it thanks to you getting educated on your mental health issues and researching how to help yourself. They’re also proud of any knowledge you’re currently mastering. They see how you’ve healed so much, especially your solar plexus chakra, you are motivated and self-confident! They’re encouraging you to go towards love, either romantic or platonic. Your highest self is telling you you’re ready to open your heart to others. They’re encouraging you to trust and give love a chance. You hold so much power, love and light that would be very good for the collective, so it’s time to share it! “Look at you, you’re beautiful! Thank you for being yourself! You work so hard but I want you to see how just being yourself is enough. Yes, you’re the best employee or the best student. But you’re also a wonderful lover and friend.”

6, 77, panda, jade, santa baby by Ariana Grande

↳ book a personal reading with me on ko-fi ★

3 ‧₊˚ ♡

Eyes are on you in the spiritual realm and in the physical as well! Your highest self is referring to this moment in your life as one of the most profound transformations you’ve ever been through. If it hasn’t started yet, your highest self is announcing to you that it will very soon. A powerful divinely orchestrated moment is taking place for you, Bunny. It’s an event that will eventually make you step into your higher self. They don’t want to reveal too much but soon pretty much everything in your life will shift. It’ll be because of a mindset shift triggered by a specific event that spirit doesn’t want to reveal. You’ll completely change the way you look at life and you’ll finally have the guts to admit to yourself that you don’t feel fulfilled with most of the aspects of your life. It’s not a realization tinted with despair, it’s about self-respect and self-growth. This realization will change every aspect of your social or romantic life. You’ll cut off people from your life or completely change the way you approach your relationship with them. You’ll have no remorse towards those decisions, making those decisions for yourself will feel empowering. Your higher self is recognizing that in the past you’ve felt like you were not good enough and you felt like you always needed to do more and better to be deserving of love. They’re telling you that after these events, you’ll be around people with secure attachment styles and you’ll feel fulfilled with your social life. Feeling like you’re spending time with people who actually bring love and value to your life. This next message is more specific so don’t force it to resonate if it doesn’t, but some of you are being isolated by a toxic masculine and your highest self wants you to realize that. It’s possible you’re either a victim of an abusive dad, a toxic boyfriend, or a mean boss… or it could also be that your life right now is suffering from patriarchy’s impact and it’s affecting your relationships.

Don’t take a shot every time I say life, aha!

pegasus, 9, 10, selenite

↳ book a personal reading with me on ko-fi ★

decks used : animaux totems by Else Oreve & Pricilla Moore, modern witch tarot deck by Lisa Steele, mystical wisdom by Gaye Guthrie

☆ photo credits go to their rightful owner

[just-trying-to-fangirl-in-peace]

Distraction (Annatar/Sauron x fem!Elf!reader)

-> in which Annatar blinds you to the invasion of Eregion by giving you a taste of what you desire

Warnings: reader is manhandled and kissed on the lips and neck while under heavy mind control, having false feelings put into her head, basically no romance in sight, just Sauron being his dark creepy self

Sighing deeply, you strike out yet another flawed design for one of the Nine Rings of Men. It’s too similar to one Lord Celebrimbor has already rejected, but your mind seems to have been drained of all original thought after days on end of tireless labour.

At the very least, you have retired to your own study, away from Lord Celebrimbor’s sour mood. He has grown strange of late, distant at best and ill-tempered at worst. You doubt you would have been able to go on toiling as you do if it weren’t for the Lord of Gifts to lift your spirits with his words of encouragement, kind gaze and—on occasion—his soothing touch. He has a way of cradling your hand in his with such gentleness and warmth that it feels like a balm on your calloused skin, making any amount of strenuous work well worth the sacrifice.

You cannot deny, however much you would like to, that you have begun to harbor some measure of infatuation towards him. You try to put it out of your mind most of the time, but you must admit how much it motivates you in your work—the desire to fulfil his desire, as well as the fear that you might disappoint him.

Now, unfortunately, you feel the latter is a more likely possibility. You hate how utterly uninspired you feel, even though it’s to be expected in your state of exhaustion. You groan, leaning on the desk as you rest your head in your hands when a sound distracts you from your own frustration.

It’s coming from outside, you realize, from within the city. A distant clamour, muffled voices, and a distinct, harsh sound that has you standing from your seat, turning towards the door and—

—and finding yourself nose to nose with Annatar.

“My Lord!” you exclaim, hand flying to your suddenly rampant heart as you stumble backwards, bumping into your worktable. “Forgive me, I—I had not heard you come in.”

“Did you not?” he asks, quite puzzled. “I called your name. I was beginning to fear I had somehow offended you when we last spoke, since you seemed so intent on ignoring me.”

“Oh, no, of course not! I did not mean to—” You shake your head, stumbling on your words. Your cheeks feel as hot as the forge itself. How lost must you have been in your own thoughts that you hadn’t noticed his presence? “I was quite absorbed in the work, I think,” you admit apologetically. You mean to ask him what he needed of you, but then the same noise from before catches your ear, and you remember why you stood in the first place. “Is that the siege alarm?”

Annatar regards you with a slight furrow in his brow.

“You are tired,” he says softly. “Your senses deceive you.”

That may be true, to an extent. You had failed to hear him earlier, after all. But unless your senses have taken full leave of you, you are certain what you’re hearing is true.

“No, I can hear it,” you insist. “Can’t you?”

You don’t wait for his answer as you walk past him—or at least, you mean to. With a step to the side, he is in your way, causing you to halt in your tracks and blink up at him in surprise instead.

“All is well in the city. Your concern lies here.”

He’s smiling as he says it. The same gentle lift of the lips that you’ve come to consider a sweet reward for your efforts in making the Rings, helping you get through the long days. Now, however, it sends a shiver down your spine. And, for the first time, it is not the pleasant kind.

“Still,” you say carefully, “I am tired, as you said. I wish to go outside—for a moment’s respite, if nothing else.”

You try to step past him. This time, it’s his hand around your wrist that stops you.

“Rest, if you must,” he says, leaning ever so slightly closer, “but do so here. Then, focus on your work, as you are meant to.”

He doesn’t raise his voice, yet the order in it is unmistakable. And his grip on your wrist is rigid, nothing like the calming touch you’ve known from him so far. You’ve displeased him, that much is clear, and the thought churns in your stomach—but for some reason, your urge to get out demands to be obeyed.

“I shall return to my work,” you press on, “once I come back inside.”

Again, you mean to walk away. You mean to put distance between you, to pull your hand from his.

He won’t let you. The moment you take your first step, his grip tightens and he pulls you back, bringing your hand between your chests and keeping you trapped against your worktable.

“My Lord, please!” you say in disbelief, frantically searching his eyes for any trace of the warmth that was once there. “You are frightening me.”

“You need not be frightened,” he says, a sharp edge to his tone, “so long as you do as I tell you.”

“I—” You stare at him, dumbfounded. You don’t know what’s come over him, but you want no part of it. “Release me at once.”

You try to wrench your hand away from his, but all that does is worsen the pain in your wrist as he keeps it in his iron grip. And yet he looks so eerily calm as he does so, as his other hand suddenly cups your cheek.

“Shh,” he coos softly, “none of that.” Your heart trembles in your chest, painfully confused as he seems to contemplate you. “I thought you’d have let me in by now,” he muses. “But perhaps I should have done this sooner.”

“Done what—?”

His lips meet yours.

It stops. All of it. The confusion, the alarms—those outside as well as those within you. A wave of calm sweeps through the very core of your being, removing in its wake all traces of distress and leaving nothing but sweet surrender. A sound escapes your throat, something like a yelp that turns into a sigh, and...

How is this happening? What came before? You can’t remember, and you don’t care to. All you know is you have imagined this before, desired it deep within your heart, and that desire is being fulfilled. There’s an ache in your wrist, but the pain is dull and you pay it no mind as he tastes your mouth languidly. Your hands come to rest on his chest, his pulling you to him by the waist. And just as you melt into him, weak with desire, he parts his lips from yours.

“Forgive me,” he says softly as your dazed gaze meets his. “Did you mean to go somewhere?”

Your brow furrows as you try to muster enough coherent thought to speak.

“I... I believe I was coming to find you,” you find yourself murmuring. You don’t quite remember, but the words come as naturally to you as the act of breathing. And they feel true, once you’ve spoken them.

The tiniest smile blooms at the corner of his lips.

“I see,” he says, satisfied. “What did you need from me?”

“I... I needed...”

The answer eludes you. You only know what you need now, and the craving is so great you cannot put it into words.

Sure enough, he knows. His eyes hold a teasing glint, almost mean, as he leans down, pressing his lips to a tender spot beneath your ear before whispering into it, “This, perhaps?” His mouth travels lower still, kissing your neck as you tremble in his arms. “Or this?”

“Annatar,” you breathe out, uncaring of his title. Surely, you are beyond formalities now.

“Yes?” he says, awfully innocent, pulling away to look you in the eye once more. “Name your desire, and you shall have it.”

Your skin sizzles where he has touched it, and the hunger in his eyes leaves you breathless, and you are beyond merely voicing what you desire as you press your lips to his once more. He returns your kiss, matching your greed and swallowing your moan, and you think you might become reduced to ashes if he were to let you go.

It’s painful when he pulls away once more. You find yourself chasing his lips, craning your neck for just one more taste, but he cups your cheek to hold you still.

“Easy,” he says softly, yet the sole word feels like a command. You do settle down, though your heart is still rampant in your chest. He seems pleased by it, and that is enough to hold you still. “Now, I’m afraid there is an urgent matter I must discuss with Lord Celebrimbor. But I shall return to you, and...” he trails off, fixing you with a gaze full of promise which stokes the fire in your belly. “Remain here. Speak to no one. Wait for me. Will you do as I tell you?”

The words hold a strange echo. You can’t place it. You only know what the right answer is.

“Yes,” you agree quietly. And mean it.

“Good.” Annatar smiles, thumb brushing the apple of your cheek. “That pleases me greatly.”

The praise continues to warm your heart long after he is gone. You’re painfully aware, somehow, that you could never live without that feeling, or without him, again.

So you do as he told you.

[lotus-soda]

Okay I gotta talk about this! I got a lot of thoughts and uh here they all are :)

To start, irl Ueda Akinari translated Chinese tales into a more Japanese style (I find this interesting as Ammenogozen kinda translated people between dimensions :)

Secondly, (now this may be a coincidence but I don't think so tbh) he is the Third author (In bsd anyways) to have a literary counterpart who had a connection to China in some way (Please correct me if I'm wrong on this) Akutagawa and Atsushi both wrote at least one or two stories that either took place in China or were related to it (Moonlight over mountain took place in China for context)

now onto the stories of Ugetsu Monogatari and Harusame Monogatari that I think connect to bsd characters!

Shiramine (White peak) - Nakajima Atsushi

While the tengu bird depicted in Shiramine and the tiger in moonlight over mountains are clearly not the same, the stories are quite similar.

A man either leaves or is rejected from his family and travels to another place to vent/write poetry. Both are turned into animals by the end of their story. (Also fun fact, the story the play draws from is is Matsuyama Tengu which depicts the man as a poet, linning up with Nakajima's poet)

(Also Tengu are a form of jappanese Yokai for anybody unaware before this like myself)

I also wanna point out both characters succumbing to their animal and inevitably growing 'dark' and 'monstrous'

Atsushi's eyes are growing dark, a frequent depiction of evil or darkness growing over a character...

Kikka no Chigiri (The Cyrsamthimum pledge) - Akutagawa

Now this has more to do with bsd Akutagawa than his author counterpart (Unless there is a story like this in which tell me cus I need motivation to finish a book of his stories I have lol)

Anyways in Kikka no Chigiri, the main protag is a warrior (Oh look Aku is a knight *wink* *wink*) and falls ill and vows to come back for the man who nursed him back to health on the day of the chrysanthemum festival (He was close to the guy) Also oh who showed Aku the light metaphorically? Atsushi. Who did Aku try to protect and vow to come back for? Atsushi....

In the story The warrior comes home and finds his lord dead, and learns a new one took over, who now everybody follows, even the protag's cousin. The protag's cousin locks him up and the warrior realizes he is unable to go back to his friend for the Chrysanthemum festival. So unwilling to break his promise, the warrior kills himself and visits the friend as a spirit. Afterward the friend travels to see the warrior and kills the cousin after lecturing him on loyalty.

(Alright back to analysis lol) Anyways I think the Warrior is Akutagawa, the friend is Atsushi, and the Cousin is Dazai (Potentially Mori or even Gin) Now let me explain, the Atsushi and Aku parts I feel are self explainable, but lemme talk about Dazai for a moment. So basically my dude up and left Aku leaving (Locking him up metaphorically) in a bad mindset. While I don't think Aku had met Atsushi prior to him joining the pm or really before the series... it's something to think about I guess...

That's all I'll write for now, I might do a part two with other stories, but I got both an Atsushi and Aktagawa book to finish, so until then, eat something, drink water, and get some rest people :)

[11cupids-tarot11]

What's going on right now? Need Clarity? A message from Spirit!

1-3

Choose a selfie! ☆

︻デ═一・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Want to book a private reading?

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Tips are appreciated!

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Pay pal@: janellec03

I 🫶🏾 y'all!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Pile 1- 9 of Pentacles, 9 of Wands, Princess of Pentacles, 3 of Cups, 8 of Cups, 9 of Swords, The Hermit, Ace of Cups, King of Cups, Ace of Wands, 2 of Cups, extra card- Prince of Pentacles.

Bottom of the deck- The Lovers

Hi my pile 1!

Today I feel like Spirit really wants to talk about you and your work. I heard something about planting roots, could be a literal 9-5 job we're talking about or even a relationship for some of you (I'm picking up on a masculine here), but I'm feeling like it might not be the way you want to to be right now, you're not seeing the results of all of your hard work but the Nine of Pentacles talks about having to climb that last mountain before you can reach the top and rest. This energy here is expressing though we may be so tired and want to give up it's very important you look back and see how far you've come in any given situation, how much you've progressed with maybe in a job, or something that really matters to you like finishing a book or even how much progress you've made in a relationship as well. (My phone buzzed as confirmation, I feel like there's a little bit about love in this reading which is crazy because I'm trying so hard to be diverse and not talk about romance so much but other forms of love too lol). Overall I'm getting don't give up, I know it's a struggle but sometimes it's good to sit back, reflect and remember our "Why". We just need that extra push of motivation, whatever motivates you, even if it's taking a small break before you decide to get back at it again, anything but quit! An example I could use is when I'm working on my Digital Art for a good hour and decide I still don't like how my drawing looks, I get tired but deep down want to finish it soo bad, so instead of giving up I take a break, let my fingers breathe and get a snack before going back at it again, sometimes it's okay to not break your back trying to finish projects no one's perfect.

So I feel like Spirit also wants to warn us of becoming too materialistic, it's clear this message is for someone who's worked hard to get to where they are now, but I feel like you haven't had the time to celebrate that because you're too focused on moving on to the next thing so quickly, we should appreciate and honor and celebrate all that we've done for ourselves even if you haven't reached the highest goal you've set, go out and celebrate with people you love! You deserve it!

So I feel energy like someone putting so much on themselves, I feel like you make yourself your main concern? If that makes sense? Like someone who gets frustrated at themselves because they quit something, someone here overworks their mind way too much, to a dangerous point. You're pushing your body to work so much because of a certain goal and I see here you see yourself as the problem. You are the very thing that crafts your reality but you can also break it as well. You know that saying less is more? I just heard it in my head, like if you stopped focusing so hard on this and live a little you might manifest it better not obsessing over it so much.

I'm picking up on two different messages, one is for someone who hardly has fun, I think the main message for you to overcome some things is to reach out more to people you love, spend more quality time with them! Have fun, go out and just go for a walk or sit in the park! Do something that doesn't feel like a job, you know? For others, I'm getting you might be more introverted, Spirit is encouraging you to branch out more, maybe work is something that you've just always known and been comfortable, but Spirit is encouraging you to go make some friends, step out of your comfort zone a little! Sometimes someone's companionship is all you need and you would've even realize it because if you're like me and hardly care for socializing it's something you can definitely live without, can't miss something you've never had right? Lol.

I feel some anxiety, negative thoughts and bad coping methods that are no longer serving you, but I feel like this anxiety is just coming from being scared, scared of the unknown especially. This energy doesn't serve you, focus on healing this and pushing this energy out of our consciousness, don't expect it, normalize it or embrace it.

I think as time goes on you could slip into a state of wanting to be alone a lot, I think this is a warning if you continue on you'll always be stuck in that energy. I think the hermit also reminds us to consider ourselves better, present and future, encourages to get to know yourself as well, take time to really understand and appreciate yourself.

I think you're a kind person, I'm seeing here you're represented by the Ace of Cups as well as how you see yourself, which means there is self love there, even if you don't see it or feel it's not impossible! Take it day by day, step by step, whatever that looks like for you! You have lots of joy and sunshine 🌞 maybe you're someone who likes to keep a positive appearance and rarely ever show your real emotions especially if they're negative.

I keep picking up on small messages of someone waiting for a specific love interest or maybe just waiting for your love life to get juicy in general.

I feel like someone's hoping for a connection, there's lots of masculine energy here. This is a special message so if you've been hoping for a specific person Spirit knows! I can't get much but maybe that's because it's not supposed to be a love reading, but I did get that message, Spirit hears you. Maybe this masculine is also a person some of you know, like they're in your life already and they have a heavy impact on you. I'm seeing for some of you it doesn't have to be romantic, could be a father figure for those of you wishing to get closer with your father's!

In conclusion, I don't want to say you'll never find a solution to your problems, but I will say life will always be throwing tough situations at us, at any given time, I think the highlighted message here would be that our mindset is the key here, you can't change your situation maybe but you can decide how you handle them. A strong mindset is always important, a clear and positive one. It's not an answer, no, but it's more like encouragement. I feel like Spirit wants to remind you as long as you have you, you'll never really be stuck or lost, you have the power to see the greater good of any situation or the power to visualize and manifest a life or outcome of a situation you want!

Hope you like this reading! Love you! <3

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Pile 2- The Hermit, Judgment, Eight of Pentacles, Four of Cups, The Tower, The Star, Three of Swords, Nine of Cups, Nine of Wands, The hanged man and The World.

Back of deck: Queen of Cups

So the Hermit is once the fool, right? I feel this card is drawn today to point out that you need to focus on something with yourself. You're being pushed to learn more about yourself maybe, I'm getting this card also signifies someone who mostly spends their time alone, this could be because you're being drawn to focus more on yourself and this could also serve as a warning for some that you could be surrounding yourself with too many energies. Either way this card does signify a change does need to happen. A path needs to be taken. Something needs to be done, let's see what it is!

So currently it's healing, I'm seeing it's something heavy on your mind and heart. Well, with the Justice I hear that you have the option to heal right now, you maybe have been wondering what does healing really mean? and I'm hearing that the Angels Gabriel maybe are present with this card and that the path to healing is about to basically open up for you to take. I want to go into great detail about what I mean but can't find the best words, my book describes it like 'an opportunity to scrape off any remaining bits of mud clinging to your boots'.

I feel like someone here is very focused on healing for the greater good, you have a desire, strong will and determined just to do better for you and with the Eight of Pentacles it serves as kind of a confirmation that your guides do see and hear your efforts. Some of us could even be manifesting greater things, better days and your guides definitely do hear you! Makes me feel like they're hinting that your wish will be granted soon, the judgment card does often hint at justice! ;)

I know it might be confusing or some of you are probably like "what?" But I'm hearing that you'll just get random downloads and be like "oh yeah, duh! I should totally try doing that." A specific message for a few of you lol.

So the four of cups makes me feel like your guides are just pointing out more the need to kind of take a break away from everything and everyone. Maybe you're around people who don't have your best intentions or don't really serve you or your healing journey and spirit warns to watch who we keep around, it might be time to cut some people off. Some of you might be getting invited out, it's okay to reject them and let them down easy, take time for you, it's okay to not be bothered and be in the comfort of just yourself! <33

Right now I feel like you're carrying a lot of tension, anxiety and there's a call to release all of that, a change, I feel like being around people might be causing this anxiety because this is supposed to represent your external energy and you got the tower card, but so far all I'm getting is isolation is good for you, which is making me think there might just be a specific person causing this anxiety, if they make you feel bad they're not worth having around, i had to learn that the hard way whoever needs to hear this 😭 🩷

So we're letting go of burdens, anything that's holding us back, we're getting into really good energy! I love this pile honestly lol. You got the hope card! While all of this is happening, you're going to be passing through really heavy energy I bet, it might feel like you got hit by a bus even but your guides want you to remain hopeful! Try to stay as optimistic and positive as you can be, showing gratitude can also help right now! But good job! You're looking at every corner of your shadow self, you're doing a really good job too!

Okay, see! The three of swords is heavy energy but it does signify ✨ NEW 😍 and BETTER 😩 things for us! If you keep going this road, you're going to find something that really brings you contentment and life will feel good again for you! You're getting justice baby!!! I'M TRYING TO GET YOU HYPED BECAUSE YOUR GUIDES ARE PROMISING EVERYTHING YOU'VE WISHED FOR!! 😍😍 Lol whatever that might look like for you, like lately I've really been wishing for a new apartment, so when spirit says my wishes are about to be granted I'd get real excited because that means I'm gonna find a way to get that new apartment soon! Lol.

So right now I feel like you know you're able to manifest these good things all on your own. I feel like a few of you are like me and it maybe took you this long journey to get where you are now, maybe mentally or also in a physical matter, either way you look back and see how far you've come, you still want so much more and maybe you kinda pick on yourself when you realize that but your working on being content and grateful and moving forward now that you really understand how to now!

So I'm hearing that you might have some fears about never seeing progress, or maybe you're grinding very hard I'm talking day and night and you haven't seen the results you want, but you'll get there! I'm hearing the only way you don't is if you give up on yourself. As long as you have the consistency, motivation and power to keep showing up you will definitely see the results you want!

You got the world card as your outcome! This is a possible outcome, the world represents completion usually all things of a happy ending basically! Which means this is how your outcome will be! You do big work and receive big rewards from the universe! You're going to be sooo happy, you're on your way to your biggest achievement yet I feel! Congratulations! 🤭😍

I also heard a message about someone needing to further develop their spiritual growth!!

Hope you enjoyed!! 🩷 Love you sweetie piez

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Pile 3- Eight of Cups, Temperance, Three of Cups, Seven of Cups, Princess of Wands, Ace of Cups, King of Swords, The Emperor, Princess of Cups, Ace of Swords, Two of Cups.

Hii! ☺️ So there's a message for you in pile 2! Specific for some of you, maybe if you felt drawn to more than one pile I highly recommend checking it out because I could not stop channeling that!

Let's get into your reading now!

So you're currently in an era of change right now, moving away from toxic energies, environments, mindsets and/or situations, I'm hearing it's because you're embarking on something new and you want to have a fresh clean state basically. Good for you! I totally resonate with that, it's a very good example of bringing home a new puppy even though you already have a dog, you still buy the new dog it's own toys and personal items because you can't just take the old dog's things and give it away, you have to start all over again and buy fresh items, you know? Weird example but this is the best I could explain it 🤣 I don't even have a dog so bare with me lol.

So I see that you're currently questioning how to go about this, and I get the feel that the Temperance card is telling us that we have that answer within. I think Spirit really wants to remind you to listen to your inner child as well, not only that but all parts because it's very important, even our shadow selves. So I feel like that's something you're going to be going through, mental clarity. This energy is a lot like pile 2! There's an overlapping message! Pretty soon you'll be gaining insight, like you'll be receiving downloads and messages from your team and everything will just "click" for you, yk? 😭 Lots of magical energy in all of the piles today it's crazy. I think you're also going to be learning how to balance yourself out, you're going to Intuitively just know because you've done the work searching every part of yourself!

So I see some tension and desire around three of cups, maybe someone here could be wishing for healthier connections, maybe there's some fear of being alone even and it's triggering some healing to be done around that area.

So like I said earlier, you're going to be receiving some intuitive messages that will bring you lots of clarity which is confirmation with the Seven of Cups, it'll just come to you, you might receive an important dream soon! So just keep on keeping on lmao basically stay true to your goals and keep forward on your path!

Okay okay I see you working on moving into your Princess of Wands energy! So the Princess part is like someone who's still learning, so you're going to be in an energy that you're in control of! I feel like you're already represented by the Princess of Wands energy and you're just working on being Queen now! You're going to learn how to utilize your personal energy, creativity and sexual power. Okay so you're going to need this new energy for the path you're going down, you're going to shine through it, literally you're a star whoever you are lmao other people see your energy too, you're someone people look up to! You're embarking on a new journey, I feel like I keep repeating myself a lot but even in my tarot book it says the exact same thing in the card description as the messages I'm channeling from Spirit 🤣 I've gotta start a YouTube so I can show you guys more! Or would you guys prefer if I just included pictures? I don't for aesthetic purposes but let me know guys!

Anyways, back to YOU lol,

So I see you wishing for lots of abundance like love maybe, doesn't have to be very deep and serious like marriage but I feel like a few of you want a baby and someone that loves you and it's a dream of yours, but you're probably putting that dream to the side right now to work on yourself which is good! That way when you are ready to receive you'll know exactly what to do with your gifts, treat them nicely lol! I do see a promising future for you where you receive all of that plus the self love from yourself which will already come first before anything, I think it's really beautiful energy I really like this pile 😭 I love you whoever you are, you feel so sweet!

OOO I see a King of Swords in someone's future? I feel like this is a romantic for a few of you because you also have the Two of Cups as your ending card which represents union to me. My book describes this person as fascinating, and talkative, they'll be very good at providing you emotionally and physically wise! I feel like after all of this work you're finally getting the connection with someone you've been waiting for!

Gender doesn't matter here, but you might see yourself as the Emperor, even if you struggle to, the outside world does too! You're a born leader, you're strong and intelligent enough to LEAD the team! People respect you I feel like, you're very hardworking, you like to set goals, some people might call you a nerd lol 🤓. I feel like in school you were the one who took control in group projects, you're very outspoken and an outgoing person, people love to be around you!

You might not have had many relationships, I'm hearing you might be kind of scared of love and have some hope and fears around it, you'll be discovering your own love language I hear ☺️ how precious omg.

So someone around you with the Ace of Swords suggests that someone you've already had your eye on someone for a while, a few of you might even be in the talking stages still! Either way you might already know who you're coming into union with 🤣 Crazy! For others of you, you will be meeting this person soon! A complete stranger you'll just bump into within divine timing on the weirdest day of your life!

So the Two of Cups is your outcome! With the two of cups it means you'll get the perfect person you've been waiting for! Which is what you've been wishing for, right? (Me too😭) I'm seeing that picturing your perfect person will help manifest them! Some of you could be dating after heartbreak as well I'm picking up on, for those of you who are single you'll be glowing! People will notice and compliment you a lot more. You're just ready to receive while being in your Queen energy! Real hot girl shit 😍 lol I love that omg.

Lots of water energy, someone could be a water sign, Pisces, Scorpio or Cancer or have those placements heavily in ur chart. Someone here could like the color blue or purple or those colors might be significant for you. The number 4 might also be significant. Someone could wear red a lot.

I hope you enjoyed this reading! Love youuu!!!

[animehideout]

I'm in need of fluff and comfort. Could I please request headcanons for how the JKK guys would comfort an S/0 who is doubting themselves and their abilities.

JJK Men Comforting Their S/O Who's Doubting Themselves

a/n: Hiii anon thank you for this fluff request, I hope you like it and it comforts you 🫶🏻. Sending you warm hugs ✨❤️.

Characters: Choso Kamo / Nanami Kento / Gojo Satoru.

Choso Kamo: Words Of Affirmation.

When you're doubting yourself, you'd avoid talking to him, scared that he might judge you.

So you'd distance yourself from him.

He'd think that he did something wrong.

So he'd do everything in his power to make it up for you.

He'd apologize even though he did nothing wrong.

"Love? Please talk to me! I'm sorry if I made you upset, it won't happen again...I promise"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong Choso, it's just me–I'm just not good enough"

His eyes would widen in shock, you've always been so perfect in his eyes, so you confessing that you're doubting yourself took him by surprise and broke his heart.

A moment of silence would wash over both of you, letting your words sink in.

His wide eyes softened, gently taking your hands in his large palms ensuring a tangible connection.

If you cry, he'd get too emotional and tear up with you.

He'd give you time to speak your heart out, stopping you in between to give you his opinion; mainly telling you that you're amazing.

His words are his tool of comforting.

He'd list out all of your strengths and unique qualities.

"You are stronger than you think you are! You're unique!!"

"You have no idea, love! you always make me a better person, you motivate me to keep on going–"

Each sentence emerged from the bottom of his heart, full of sincerity and love.

"We all face hard times but know that you're capable of everything and anything baby"

His words were crafted to lift up your spirit and they did.

He'd spend the whole night expressing his belief in your skills.

He'd delete your self doubt and replace it with self-confidence, self-love and power.

Nanami Kento: A Good Listener.

It would be when he gets home from work.

His keen awareness would allow him to pick up on the tense atmosphere, the moment he stepped into your shared bedroom.

He'd loosen up his tie, and approach you gently.

He knew that something is wrong, from the way you faked a smile to greet him, and from the way you were curled up like a ball on your bed.

"Honey! you alright? wanna talk about it?".

The bed sinking behind you. His hand carefully rested on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

"You know you can tell me anything right?".

Leans in to press soft kisses on your arm, letting you know that he's there for you.

His presence alone, motivated you to vent.

You slowly turned, now facing him.

He opened his arms, signaling for you to get closer and lay in his comfortable embrace while you talk about your feelings.

"I feel like I'm not doing anything right..I always mess up things.. I'm not good enough–" you'd start.

The more you talk, the more he holds you close to his chest.

He'd listen to you attentively, leaning in slightly to catch every word you say.

Nods in understanding and hums.

Creates a safe space for you to let everything unfold without being interrupted or feeling ashamed.

He would ask logical yet thoughtful questions.

Inviting you to share more without making you feel pressured, like asking about what triggered this feelings, how long have you been doubting yourself... Is it related to a past trauma.

He would try to understand every detail.

He would know when and what to ask.

Very considerate and patient.

Adresses every concern with genuine understanding.

Even if your words are scrambled, he'd totally get you.

He'd wait patiently, giving you all the time you need to formulate your sentences and find the right words.

He would be silent when you talk making sure to not interrupt your train of thoughts and express yourself fully.

His careful and considerate nature allows you to feel secure and comforted. Just by listening to what you say, you'd feel loads better.

"I totally understand sweetheart! this is a safe place, you can tell me everything.. I'm all ears"

"we will work on it together, okay?"

Gojo Satoru: Physical Affection.

He'd notice right away how your mood dropped.

You were in a public place, so he would take you somewhere more private so you can be yourself without trying to fake a smile.

Gojo chose the language of touch.

He's always been so physically affectionate with you, so when you're feeling down and in need of comfort he'll double that affection.

Wouldn't leave your side.

He'd know that you're doubting yourself, he always reads you like an open book.

He'd give you a big hug and let you cry or just snuggle in his arms till you calm down.

He'll show you that he loves you the way you are.

His body moves on its own, from holding you close till he squeezes air out of you, to peppering your face with playful kisses, earning giggles from you.

"Here's that beautiful smile again".

He'd give you time to calm down, and gain your confidence back.

"I have faith in you, you're amazing, never forget that...now come here let me kiss you".

Even after he manages to make you feel better, he'd never leave your side, spend the whole day attached to you like a koala.

His arm still wrapped around your shoulder, giving you kisses and headpats every now and then.

Leaning down, to check up on you and make sure you're comfortable.

Boops your nose a lot.

"Are you feeling better now??"

"Whenever you feel down, I'll make sure to lift you up" .

Cracks jokes to make you laugh.

Tickles you a lot.

Wouldn't let go of you till he makes sure you're back all smiley again with no worries at all.

He trusts you a lot, and always makes sure to show you that he's proud of you.

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Can I please get Chongyun with the whole alphabet? (I’m on my hands and knees)

Author's Note: Rise up, soldier, I deliver Chongyun smut upon thee 🫴❄️ — (I sort of broke Chongyun in two halves for some of the sections; his normal self and his hyper, pure Yang self.) (Chongyun is 20+ here also)

For our 3000 follower celebration! (CLOSED NOW)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Tuckered out and ready for some cuddles. You'll usually need to cool Chongyun down too, even if that means holding an ice pack against his body to bring down his temperature 😅

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I don't think Chongyun would really pay enough attention to have a favorite body part. Not of his own, at least. Of yours, he would probably say that every part of you is his favorite fhalfjdnfls

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

His cum is thick, and it tends to come out in globs that drip down his shaft. It's not translucent at all, really. It almost looks like whipped cream with how white and opaque it is. Due to his cryo vision, I think his cum would be a tad bit cold too?

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He actually really, really likes the taste of your cock. And the feeling of it in his mouth.

Having that heavy length resting on his tongue, tears pricking the corners of his blue eyes while he fidgets with anything to help him remain still, moaning around your cock involuntarily because your precum is the only thing he can taste anymore?? That's enough to turn Chongyun's brain off for a while 🥴

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Net zero experience. A total virgin. Chongyun knows basically nothing about sex, seeing as he had no interest in it throughout his teens and early adulthood. You have to guide this innocent angel through everything.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. May include a visual)

Chongyun enjoys it when you wrap your arms around him, and his back is pressed snuggly against your chest. Doesn't matter if you're standing, sitting, or laying down, that position is the best.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Normal Chongyun: Serious, maybe a little too much, even. He takes everything literally, and freaks out when you joke about fucking him dumb or something along those lines. If you tease about getting him pregnant, he will believe you at face value. 0_0

Hyper Chongyun: A complete goofball, very giggly. He still takes your statements literally, but he's enthusiastic about the prospect of being fucked stupid or getting knocked up.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I believe in Chongyun's ice blue pubes–

He wasn't even aware that people shaved/trimmed down there, so when you first see him, he's unkempt and bushy. Maybe after you explain shaving down there he might start to trim it a little.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Extremely so. Chongyun values intimacy so much, he'll be quite sad if you don't provide the level of intimacy that he thinks is necessary for sex. :(

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Normal Chongyun: Doesn't really bother with it. He finds it embarrassing, even, and would rather have you take care of him.

Hyper Chongyun: Will happily touch himself if you ask him to. If you're already fucking him and you tell him to jack himself off, Chongyun will do so with zero chill (pun intended). He's jerking it so fast, you're afraid he's going to hurt himself.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Temperature play (of course), praise kink, and chastity. If you bring out his pure Yang spirit, you can probably get him addicted to fisting or large insertion as well~

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The bedroom — very adventurous, I know 😱

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Really any sort of teasing will do the trick. Invading your sweetheart's personal space and backing him against a wall is guaranteed to lead to sex.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Most kinks, to be honest. Knifeplay, weapons in general, blood play, choking, honestly anything that could be dangerous. Public sex is also a no-go for him. Degradation is not usually something he'd want to include in your sexy times either. Usually…

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Highly prefers giving. Again, your cock is his biggest vice, especially when it's in his mouth.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Normally, Chongyun prefers it slow and steady. He's afraid that if you go too fast it will bring out his pure Yang spirit…

And when that does happen, he won't stop begging for you to go “Faster, faster, faster!!” or “Harder, harder, harder!!!”

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He's not the biggest fan. Quickies are usually too fast, not intimate enough for his liking, and leave him feeling unsatisfied.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not really. Chongyun knows what he does and doesn't like, and he's not super interested in experimenting.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

As previously mentioned, Chongyun prefers a slower pace, and he can usually last for a long time. If you want to go for 3 rounds — 3 slow rounds — he can hold out. He may not be able to talk like a human when you're done, but that's totally fine!

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

None of his own, no. Though, if you buy some and want to use them to enhance your sexy times, I don't think Chongyun would be against it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

I can't picture him teasing you at all. Maybe a few playful quips here and there, but definitely not teasing or goading you into being harsher with him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Bro is a whimperer for sure! He whimpers and whines like crazy. He's noisy, but not necessarily super loud otherwise. He can whimper quietly, basically.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Bear with me here as I try to describe this… I think Chongyun would lose his mind if you offered to help him cool off by fucking his mouth with a popsicle. There's a specific hentai gif that I have in mind; this girl is on her knees and some dude is shoving a popsicle in her mouth and training her to give a blowjob, I guess? I don't have context for the scene but it's messy and fits Chongyun perfectly 🩵

(I'll try to find the gif and I'll attach it to a reblog if I can. Hopefully it doesn't get my blog flagged 💀)

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

His dick is a little guy, measuring exactly 3 inches. I want to believe that he's uncut…I'm not sure why, I just want him to be 😌

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not super high, I don't think Chongyun would seek out sex more than once a week. He wouldn't say no if you initiated things more often, but he probably wouldn't initiate it himself unless he's really in the mood.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He can fall asleep pretty quickly, though it doesn't happen every single time you have sex. He's usually just sleepy and cuddly, but he does try to stay awake to talk with you.

[aurekiwi]

pac: a letter from us to you

top- pile 1 & pile 2

bottom- pile 3 & pile 4

𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐚𝐳𝐞 | follow me | support me any form of feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Pile 1

from pile 1, to pile 1...

dear you, i know how you tend to overthink, how you've been hurt countless times from trusting and giving chances. and i'm very sorry that you had to go through those betrayals, so much that you now doubt not only others, but yourself as well. how lonely it must've been to bear all that pain alone. i know you're scared- scared to go beyond what you know, scared to attempt only to face disappointment once again. i know that feeling of not wanting to give anything a chance anymore, like you don't want to step out of the safety bubble that you've created for yourself. i don't care what others say. i just need you to know that i'm on your side. that's all that matters. protect yourself. prioritize yourself. and love yourself by doing what makes you feel comfortable and sane.

i find it so lovely that you keep your heart close and treat it so tenderly, so preciously, like the way you wanted it to be treated by others. i know how caring you are... how much you care about others, and how much you're willing to sacrifice yourself for others. i know how hard you work to make others happy, how much time you spend into making sure the person you love has a smile on their face. i know that sometimes you put up a front because you don't want anyone to know how hurt and broken you feel inside. but i know. regardless of what they might try to say to you, i want you to know it's truly okay to feel upset and disheartened. it's also okay to choose something that makes you happy even if it might feel like a selfish decision at the moment. trust me, following your heart and listening to your own voice is going to bring you so much joy... honestly, it really pains me to see how much you've prioritized others. keep guarding your heart like that. keep it safe from the eyes of those who just take advantage of that endless kindness and understanding you have. choose to do what sets your heart ablaze- what makes you feel motivated, inspired, and curious. and most of all, always remember that i love you, and i'll always support you.

Pile 2

from pile 2, to pile 2...

dear you, aren't we all just frolicking and going about in directions that we think is the right way in this journey called life? we let our passion speak for us, we let the world inspire us, we try to see the beauty in our day-to-day lives, even if that is awfully hard nowadays. i really like that mind of yours, how you're set out to exploring, traveling, and learning- how your mind is always curious and ready to experience new. i know that whatever you decide to do, you'll take the time and put in the effort to mastery and demonstrate your love and passion for it for others to see. i know that gift you have of channeling your passion, your philosophy, your meaning, and your view of life into everything that you do.

oh, you are so brilliant. you stand tall against everyone who points their fingers at you and calls you names for the kind of person you are. don't mind them at all because they're just jealous of that free-spirited nature that you have. i find your soul beautiful, in the way it burns so brightly and finds ways to burn just as bright through every hardship. and if you want to rest, let yourself rest. i know you have the power and will within you to get right back up when you want to or need to, so please, take your time. no need to rush at all. i know underneath all that brilliance and optimism is a lot of anxiety and worries- such is the artist's spirit, aye?

let those worries run around in your mind as you rest, think of what makes you feel so bothered and then seek out a way to achieve what you have in mind. i truly believe that you have it in you to do whatever you put your mind to. once you reach it, everyone around you will be there to see what you've accomplished and be in awe of your tenacity, creativity, and efforts to get there. speak for yourself who you are and who you are meant to be. you are the innovator, the leader, the channeler, the one who shows that the impossible is the possible, one at a time. you are the example and you are the legacy. you got it, hon.

Pile 3

from pile 3, to pile 3...

dear you, i want to give you a tight hug to tell you it's alright. i value your maturity, and i find it sexy the way you stay optimistic despite every tear you silently wipe away at the darkest hours of night. i find it admirable how you continue to tread on even after every disappointment and heartbreak. you seem to have this beautiful talent of attaining balance within yourself. everytime someone ruins your peace, you manage to find a way to restore it. you also manage to be that guiding figure in others' lives by providing them with the advice that you always secretly wished you could've heard from someone when you were struggling. it's a cruel fate you have of always being the teacher, not the one being taught- of being the leader rather than being the lead.

you know what it is? it's that big heart you have inside. it's the caring nature you have within you, the love you have for those around you even if it's not reciprocated. love overflows from you, and you seem to pour that into someone you love, or those you love, sometimes to your own detriment. you remind me of mother earth and her kindness, her creativity, her essence of the world's beauty that its inhabitants continuously destroy. you remind me of a siren, a beautiful voice and presence so alluring that you draw people in, except, you're human. rather than you hurting them, they hurt you instead. they get infatuated with you, obsessed with you, get so enamored by you that they step all over you and leave you in pieces. you are one who has so much to give, and i'm so very sorry that it gets stomped on each time. you're a wonderful soul and i hope you remember that every minute and every second that you are awake.

Pile 4

from pile 4, to pile 4...

dear you, know to sit down sometimes and take a break from everything that's been going on. think about how you were like in the past, when you were young and immature, curious about everything that went on in the world- how you dreamed about what you might want to do going forward, what new things might bring you happiness. i apologize for asking such a personal question, but did you have a loved one pass recently? if you did, please know that i can relate to your pain and that i want you to take your time mourning and grieving, because honestly, the pain doesn't go away. no amount of healing is going to make that kind of pain go away. so take your time and don't ever let someone make you feel rushed.

man, there were the good old times when things seemed to be a lot better than is now, and they were completely taken for granted. now everyday feels like a repetitive attempt in recovery from past heartbreaks and a heightened apprehension towards the ones to come. the fighting, the arguing, the tension, and also the self-doubt and overthinking is just all too overwhelming. when did this all happen? how did we get to this state? where did it all go wrong? it feels like every new positive possibility or future will only end in a tragedy once again. but please, don't give up just yet. there is still good out there. i promise you, everything that you've worked for... it'll all result in great rewards. it doesn't end at just despair- there will be a day that you feel fulfilled, joyful, and blissful. there will be a day when you experience true happiness with the ones you love. so please, hang on and don't give up on the blessing of happiness and fortune that is making its way towards you now. you got this. i'm right there with you as one who experienced/is experiencing it myself. we all got this. just one day at a time, one step at a time.

[miriadalia]

Things you can comment on the fanfics you love when you have no idea what to say

From what takes less time to what takes more

~show those writers your love, please!! They do it for free T-T and they deserve better

1. Emojis

You know the vibe of the fic you're reading, chose the ones that suit it better.

❤❤❤

💔💔💔

🙈🔥🔥

You may think this is kind of stupid, but trust me, it is NOT for the writer. It shows you've read until the end of the chapter and that you liked it so much that you decided to say it publicly. Your presence means A LOT.

Also, leaving kudos or votes takes literally just 1 second, what are you doing NOT doing that?? 🤨🤨🤨

2. Simple phrases

I loved it so much!!

Can't wait for the next chapter!!

This was just so good 😍

Amazing as always, keep it up!! 🙌🏼

Writing is a lonely work if you think about it. When I'm in a writer's block, just one sentence can hype me up for the rest of the day and give me the spirit I need 💪🏽

3. The emotions you felt

Yes, you DO matter. That fanfic author cares more about your opinion than your stupid ex so you better write to them instead 🧐

The plotwist was so unexpected, I'm shocked 😱

You can't end with that cliffhanger, how am I supposed to wait another week??

Excuse me, I will now lock into my room and cry all night, thank you 💔

I've read some people saying they won't comment how they felt because they feel ashamed or shy. Take it as if you were about to post a tweet or comment on a friend IG's story 👍🏻

4. One piece of dialogue/prose that really amazed you

Oof 🔥 this happened to me a few weeks ago and that comment still lives in my mind rent free. There's no better way to compliment a writer's work than to highlight something they wrote that left a true impression on you.

And it literally takes no time:

[Insert piece of dialogue], oh she didn't just say that, imma throw hands 🤬🤬

[Insert piece of a description], I could really see it with my own eyes, loved how you described it!

5. Hopes and wishes for future chapters

C'mon, you're going to comment this anyway with some of your fandom mutuals or friends, why don't let the writer know that too?? COPY AND PASTE IT ✍✍

I just need Chatacter A and Chatacter B to kiss, how long is it gonna take?? 😩

Watching that scene in [Canon series name] would have been awesome!! Maybe in future seasons 👀👀

I hope [Ship Name] don't break up in the next chapter, they are so cute 😭

6. Character discussion

Okay, we're entering deeper waters here.

But the truth is: if you love that fanfic that much is because the characters really resonated with you. So express your first thoughts without any fear:

[Chatacter Name] is so important to me, like you have no idea. All the things they went through... But they still manage to be a better person ❤

[Chatacter Name] was so forgotten in [Movie/Series Name], I'm glad they're getting the development they deserved here!

7. Scene discussion

Again, you might think the comment section is no place to start "fangirling" over the stuff you liked. But IT IS!! And the writer wants to know your thoughts on their work, especially if your opinion is all positive 💞

This will take more time, sure. But if you're going to write it anyways for other people, COPY AND PASTE AGAIN, hon!

8. How this story is impacting your fan life (or even personal life)

You don't need to overshare, but simple comments like:

Your fic has really changed the way I think about [Character Name]'s decisions, I feel like I can understand them better now.

This story has motivated me to rewatch all the episodes again 😢 the nostalgia!!!

What you did with [Character's situation] was incredible! I've been there myself and I could have not explain it better 😔

... They will be the ones the writer will remember the most, I can assure you that.

9. A simple THANK YOU

At the end of the day, fanfic and fanart creators only have your feedback to rely on when the block or discouragement hits... This is about showing appreciation to someone you may not know at all, but that has brighten your day with their creations and efforts ❤

[syluslvrgirl]

COLD BLOODED KILLER [ john wick au ]

pairing ─ hitman!sylus x hitman!reader warnings ─ heavy depictions of violence, mentions of torture, immorally depicted killings (i do not condone any of this but it makes sense in the context of this being a john wick au), all strictly fictionally word count ─ 5k about ─ in his line of work sylus never thought he would be worrying about anyone, nonetheless someone like you. someone who had managed to wholeheartedly capture his heart and make him want to burn down the whole world just to ensure your safety. which was exactly what he was doing.

notes: heavily inspired by the john wick series but may not be exactly accurate to the movies. basically it's sylus but without his evol :D it's my first time writing something this lengthy and with fight scenes so it might be a tad bit choppy but it was super fun to write. HAPPY LATE BDAY TO SYLUS!

also please lmk if you think there's anything i need to add a warning for, i will be more than happy to edit the warnings in this intro. hope you all enjoy it!

You and Sylus had coincidentally met on a brooding night at the Continental; a hotel considered neutral ground in the crime underworld. Strictly no shady business was to be conducted there and it was considered a safe haven to those in both your respective fields. You had heard the countless rumours surrounding Sylus and his activities, if you were to put them lightly. A mysterious silver-haired man, who was known for his merciless kills and being able to accomplish all his requests within an adequate time. He was truly a legend, an enigma. Someone you found absolutely enticing. 

And that is exactly how you found yourself seated at the Continental's extravagant bar swirling around your martini glass, the olive bobbing in a mixture of spirits. Not only had you heard that the famous Sylus was at the Continental right when you were, but that he was also a bit of a drinker himself. You didn't take him for a beer guy, nor a whisky guy and he didn't seem like the type to take tequila shots, so you were curious to know this man's drinking habits. With that much blood on his hands, surely he would be downing something interesting to relieve himself from a hard day of brutal work. 

"Cat got your tongue, sweetie?" questioned a deep, soothing voice. You were brought back to reality, your eyes now focusing and fixating on a set of red, glistening eyes right across from you at the bar. Your curious daydreams about the kind of drink a man like Sylus would have had, had bought you right to him. Or at least brought him right to you. 

"Cat? You look more like the devil's right hand man." you scoffed lightheartedly. Sylus looked way better than what you had imagined. This man was nothing like the devil’s right hand man, he looked like the devil himself. The silver hair complimented his eyes and his black suit accentuated his muscular figure just enough. 

"If I wasn't mistaken, you're the one drooling over me. Do I have the pleasure of knowing my admirer’s name?” he chuckled, not taking his eyes off of you. Goddamn was this man’s stare intense. It was like he was reading your mind, prying you open, discovering your thoughts and secrets before you had even voiced them. You were a cold-blooded hitman and here you were crumbling under Sylus’ gaze.

“I’m Y/n.” you replied, hand held out to him. He reached his hand out to yours, enveloping it in a slow shake. Eyes and movements calculated and particular, analysing your every motion as if he had a motive.

"I'm Sylus, but I'm sure you already know that." he smirked.

“So what brings someone like you down to the Continental?” you probed, finally letting go of Sylus’ hand.

“Oh the usual. A quick getaway from being hunted down by my enemies. You?” he answered casually. It was more than often that the Continental served as a means for escape. A night of rest from whoever and whatever was after you.

“I thought I'd treat myself after finishing a job.” you responded, turning your attention back to your martini glass. Your last job had been vicious. You had been hired to take down an Italian mafia head who had acted against the High Table’s wishes. He was overexerting his power, getting greedy and asking for more than what he truly deserved. The High Table had decided that enough was enough, so you were sent to deal with him. He was a slimy bastard, pretending to want to strike a deal, even offering his only son as compensation to save his own skin. He had attempted to leave the country, which told you enough, that man was scared and he wasn't going to survive any longer in this cutthroat industry. He irked you. A man who clearly couldn’t handle being in the business and was just a power-hungry, selfish idiot. So despite that you would normally deal with these matters as quickly as possible, you decided this Italian shithead deserved the most painful and excruciating death ever. 

"That Italian must have been something." Sylus said, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Probably not as bad as that Polish drug kingpin you've been chasing down." you remarked, remembering how you had heard snippets of Sylus' mission in the Continental's reception area. 

"Well people with money and substantial power can do whatever they like it seems." he sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"Tell me about it." you agreed, glancing around the bar. Sylus raised his hand calling the bartender over.

"I'll have a glass of any Cabernet Sauvignon you have, thanks." he murmured coolly. 

“Wine to wind down? How sophisticated of you.” you teasingly quipped. Sophistication was the last thing on a hitman for hire’s mind. Nothing was sophisticated about the blood, gore and mess you two had to deal with.

“Well I'll have you know I'm very sophisticated in what I do. Probably more so than you did on your last job. I never leave a bloody mess." he retorted, causing you to roll your eyes. He was already so annoying yet still so hot. How unfair. 

"If you aren't going to leave a bloody mess, I'm sure the Polish kingpin will instead." you answered matter-of-factly. Sylus knew you had a point. This drug kingpin he was up against was ruthless and his outreach of power was a lot more than Sylus had become accustomed too. He had to up his game or die trying and he wasn't too fond of doing the latter yet.

"Well, why don't you help me out then. I could use a hand against this guy, I won't lie." Sylus said, cocking his head to the side, inching closer to you now. You moved towards his direction, now coming within reach of him. 

"What do I get out of this Sylus? How are you going to compensate me?" you leaned in, looking up at his ruby eyes. 

"Anything and everything you want." Sylus stated, eyes pulling you in, knowing you were closer and closer to saying yes.

"Hmm you’ve got to do better than that. I want something no one else has. Something unique." you replied thoughtfully with your hand underneath your chin as you continued to stare at him.

"How about full access to my armoury and if that isn't enough you can come by to my very exclusive hidden island villa." Sylus offered.

"Now you're talking big boy. You've got yourself a deal. When do I start?" you answered with a slight smile.

"Right away. Meet at my room, we've got some planning to do." Sylus said, pushing a card towards you with the number of his room scribbled onto it. He finished his glass of wine before giving you a smirk, turning around to head towards the elevators. 

Fuck. What had you gotten yourself into. 

And so from that day onwards you two became inseparable. Almost like some sort of hitman duo for hire. Whilst the High Table were a bit iffy about this unexpected alliance, as long as you two got your jobs done, that was all that mattered to them. Not to mention, the original deal you had struck with Sylus had definitely exceeded your expectations. The armoury was stocked, from top to bottom, left to right. This man had any and every weapon at his disposal to a point where it scared you a little. However, nothing topped his hidden island villa. Whatever the High Table or his clients were paying him, it was good, fucking money. Calling the island villa gorgeous was an understatement, it was stunning and absolutely out of this world. Situated basically in the middle of the ocean, it was the perfect place to rest and recuperate. Plus it was an even better place to get to know Sylus more. It wasn’t long until you went from casually dropping in to his villa to spending nights there. Sharing your stories about past jobs, different kill techniques or if wine was really as good as Sylus made it out to be. With a job like yours, it was comforting being able to have someone to confide in. 

“So tell me again, why did you decide to approach me?” you asked with a cheeky grin, leaning onto the beautifully marbled island bench.

“I’ve told you already, you piqued my interest. There was something about your energy in that bar that was, alluring.” he chuckled, tying the apron around his waist. Tonight was another night at Sylus’ and he had insisted on preparing you a delicious meal. Something along the lines of how this dish should be featured in some Michelin star restaurant. Who were you to decline a free meal and the nicest ever guest room you had ever seen. Sylus stole glances over at you as you fiddled around with the many ornaments on the island bench.

“What’s on the menu for tonight then?” you questioned looking over at Sylus who was busy cutting away at some potatoes.

“Just wait and see kitten, impatience gets you nowhere.” Sylus answered, continuing to chop and hum along to the vinyl playing in the background. The nicknames he gave you stirred something in you. Being around him felt like a cat and mouse game. He was obviously the cat and you were the mouse who couldn’t understand exactly what this man was after. He was letting you ransack his armoury, letting you stay over at his villa, not to mention the one too many times he had saved your ass whilst on your jobs. Even more there was his ghosting touches and longing glances, they pulled you in every time, leaving you wanting more. He was so charming with his actions but also nonchalant about them. 

“Should we watch something tonight then?” you proposed, hopping around closer to Sylus to eye what he was doing.

“Sure thing. You can pick the movie so go choose one now.” Sylus said, motioning with his head to the lounge room with the softest cloud-like sofa ever. 

“Yes chef!” you giggled, now moving over to the sofa and scrolling through the endless streaming sites to see if you could find anything. 

It wasn’t long before Sylus had finished up with dinner, which turned out to be a perfectly cooked steak with roasted potatoes and a side of grilled broccolini. 

“My god you know exactly how to make someone happy Sylus.” you exclaimed.

“Well what can I say, I’m only trying to make one person happy.” he replied with a smirk. There it was again. That damned smirk and that damned face. You rolled your eyes in response, turning your attention to the view of the ocean. Sylus had a perfectly situated window that overlooked the ocean. The waves crashing against the sand and the sun slowly dipping into the water was a blissful slight. It almost made you forget how you had another job to prepare for, almost. 

“So, what's the go for the job on that international crime lord?” you asked, pushing around your remaining morsel of steak, your head leaning onto your free hand. 

“Don’t worry about a thing. We’ll figure that out when the time comes. They said they didn’t need us until another week. Just focus on finishing your food so we can get started on that movie.” Sylus mentioned, swirling his wine before taking a long sip. You nodded in agreement, turning your attention back to your food. Soon enough you and Sylus were seated on his comfy sofa watching Creed, getting to the part where the main character began to start his official boxing training. Despite sharing a large blanket between the two of you, there was still a distance there. Although Sylus and you had been going back and forth with more than just friendly remarks, it was like the both of you were waiting for the other person to make the first move.  It wasn't long until the movie ended and the credits began rolling.

“I bet I could beat you in a sparring match.” you confidently said, grinning ever so slightly at him.

“You bet? Sweetie I'll have you on the floor before you can even say my name.” Sylus laughed, a rich deep sound enveloping you.

“Oh? I'd definitely like to see you try.” you scoffed. 

“Well I do have a boxing ring in the house for a reason. I can't just let it go to waste.” Sylus smiled. Despite his taller frame, he knew to not underestimate you. You were a little too dangerous to say the least. Dangerous enough to have gotten under his skin in a good way. You didn’t rattle him, rather you surprised him every time. From your killer focus, pun intended, to your bright energy. God, he hadn’t felt this way in what felt like forever. Being a hitman for hire meant he had cast his old life away, leaving any family and everyone in his previous life behind. But here he was willingly sharing his space with you, inviting you into his life and into his heart. 

“Deal. Meet you at the boxing ring in 5 minutes. No weapons for this one.” you declared, hand outstretched to shake his. Sylus shook yours before the two of you dashed to your respective rooms in order to prepare. Heading down towards the gym area you started stretching and warming up, eyeing the door awaiting Sylus’ arrival. Soon enough he came down in a nicely fitted black singlet and red shorts that would’ve made you drool if it hadn’t been for your competitive spirit that was roaring to win. 

“You ready Sylus?” you questioned, eyebrows raised anticipating a good challenge.

“More than you’ll ever be.” He answered, making his way into the ring area. 

“So how exactly did you want to do this sparring match?” he asked, stretching his arms.

“Hmmm we can do first to hit the ground? If we’re not satisfied with just one match then we can see whoever can win the most out of three matches.” you proposed. 

“Fine by me. Don't get too upset when you lose kitten.” he replied, emphasizing the last word and leaning towards you as he did. 

“Don’t worry I won’t be the one losing.” you retorted moving your arms into a fighting stance as Sylus did the same. 

Before you knew it he had thrown his first punch right for your face, which you blocked and counterattacked with a hook to his side. Unluckily for you Sylus had blocked that one too, now moving back causing you to fall slightly forward before you caught yourself.

“Winning’s not as easy as you thought, right sweetie.” Sylus teased, causing a playful glare to erupt to your face. The both of you began attacking and countering, blocking any moves and attempting to get the other person face flat onto the floor. Sylus swiped at your left side and you ducked in response, trying to take him down by going for his waist. He blocked your attack, countering it with a tackle of his own. You took the opportunity to move sideways, elbowing his upper back to get him down to the ground. Sylus stumbled forward, catching himself from hitting the floor.

“Might want to be careful Sylus, I can’t have you battered before our next job.” you sneered lightheartedly, before quickly grabbing his arms and taking out his legs. This left him face down against the boxing ring floor with you on top of him. 

“I’ve got to admit kitten, that was quicker and better than I expected. You’ve improved a lot.” Sylus tittered, looking as though he was finally admitting defeat.

“What can I say, practice makes perfect.” you smart-mouthed, raising your hands in the air in a victorious cheer. 

“Don’t think about celebrating too soon.” Sylus taunted before he got up, managing to knock you on the floor and flip himself over so that he was now leaning over you. His hands had now found their way to your wrists, pinning you down. 

“Hey! That’s cheating. I won fair and square.” you scowled trying to break free from his grasp.

 “You know what’s not fair? This effect you have on me.” Sylus said, whispering the last words ever so slowly.

“I could say the same for you, Sylus.” you responded with amusement, now laying still against his grip.

“I’m asking you honestly Y/n, do you really want this life with me? If I asked you to leave our lives behind and build a new one, would you?” Sylus pondered, eyes softly gazing into yours.

“Sylus, I’d leave in a heartbeat with you if you wanted me too.” you softly answered, smiling back at him. 

“Well then I am seriously asking you, do you want to get out of this business? Wind down here in our island villa away from the rest of the world, for the rest of our lives?” he boldly asked, leaning closer to you.

“I thought you’d never ask.” you giggled, your eyes moving from his eyes to his lips. 

“God kitten, you’re a dream come true.” Sylus drawled before captivating your lips with his. Both your mouths and hands feverishly moved in unison with one another. Your hands travelled to the nape of his neck and his right hand cupped your face whilst his left tugged your waist closer to him. 

“Uhm Sylus, we should probably move out of here.” you gasped, laughing and breaking free from the kiss with your eyes fluttering as you looked up at him. 

“Anything for you.” he said with a beaming smile as he swooped you up off the boxing ring floor, princess carrying you out of his home gym and to his bedroom.

But things always seemed too good to be true in this dangerous world and that was how Sylus found himself frantically pacing the makeshift base the two of you had been operating in. It was supposed to be a quick job and your last one. The international crime lord you were after had plans to unleash an attack on one of the High Table members and the both of you had been sent in to get rid of this crime lord once and for all. She was very particular and calculated but the two of you had discovered a crack within her plan. A simple flaw that would allow you to slip in to take her down once and for all, whilst Sylus lured her henchmen outside in order to buy you some extra time. Nonetheless it wasn’t supposed to end in you being kidnapped off the face of the earth. Sylus needed to calm down if he wanted to try and find you. Panicking would get him nowhere. He knew you were tough and would be able to withstand any torture techniques but the thought of you getting hurt or suffering pained him, both physically and mentally. Picking up the phone, he dialled the two specialists he knew who would be able to help him track you down.

“Luke, Kieran. I need your help. Please. I’ll send you the location.” he exasperated before ending the call. Sylus was desperate. Desperate enough to plead to anyone and anything for your safety. He sighed, knowing he had more than that to worry about. He needed to worry about just exactly how he would make that crime lord and her remaining henchman pay for taking the one thing that mattered the most to him.

Within a matter of minutes, Luke and Kieran arrived, their intricate masks peaking around the base. The twins were the best tracking and hunting duo that existed within the business and wore these beautiful masks in order to protect their personal lives and identities. Sylus briefed them on the whats, whys and wheres. 

“Okay, we’ll get started right away. ” Luke responded with a nod. 

“Any DNA sample would be helpful.” Kieran piped up rifling through the base to see if he could find anything. Sylus offered him your jacket before looking back at his computer. Your last known location had been tracked to the Arctic desert, before the GPS in your bracelet stopped blinking on his screen and had disappeared completely. 

“Once you find her, let me know immediately.” Sylus stated.

“Will do bossman.” Kieran casually saluted.

“It shouldn’t be too hard for us. I say we’ll find her in an hour.” Luke chimed in, looking up at Sylus from his laptop.

“Psst, Kieran. I’ve never seen him like this before.” Luke whispered, eyeing Sylus as he stared frustratingly at his computer screen. 

“In the many years we’ve known him, no one’s gotten to him like this. It’s kind of heartwarming. A cold blooded killer gone soft. I would never imagine it would be him.” Kieran blurted softly. 

“I can hear you. I may have gone soft but the cold blooded killer part still stands.” Sylus playfully threatened.

Thankfully it wasn’t long until the twins had managed to find the international crime lord’s hideout tucked away in Svalbard, a cluster of islands within the Norwegian region. Grabbing whatever he needed from the base, Sylus attempted to pack as light but as weapon heavy as he could. He was not going to be sophisticated about this one. He was going to make as much of a mess as he pleased. Hopping onto the helicopter that he had acquired for the mission you two had been working on, he bid goodbye to the twins thanking them for their service. 

“If you ever need me for anything, I’ll be more than glad to pay you two back.” Sylus shouted over the sound of the starting helicopter. 

“Sure thing, we’ll let you know.” Kieran yelled back.

“Go get your girl!” Luke cheered. Kieran nudged him, sending him a wide-eyed look.

“What, am I wrong?” he queried. Sylus only chuckled before getting into the cockpit, strapping in and flying off into the sky to brave the cold mountains of Svalbard.

He couldn’t bear knowing you were probably out there trying your best to survive whatever blows or tactics they imposed on you. Were you okay? Were you still alive? He needed to get you back as soon as he could so that the two of you could live the life he had offered you. Sylus couldn’t fathom living without you now that you had enraptured him and given him something in life to look forward to. He wasn’t going to die trying either, he needed to make it back alive and bring you back alive as well. Soon enough he had made his way to Svalbard, landing onto the barren, snowy ground ensuring that he was further away from the hideout in order to not get caught. He debated on whether or not he would take a nap but knowing you, you would have scolded him if he had come to rescue you in an unrested, unprepared state. Sleep would make him sharper and ready for anything. Sleep would bring him just a tad bit closer to getting you right back into his arms. Despite his wishes for a peaceful nap it was plagued by nightmares. Nightmares of you dying as he got there, asking him in endless sobs “Sylus, why didn’t you come get me.” as he held you in your last moments. He woke up in sweat, hands clenched and surrounded by darkness. Good, it was nighttime which meant that it made his rescue mission just a little easier.

Prepping his weapons, he snuck out slowly from the helicopter before heading towards the direction of the hideout. It wasn’t long before the quaint little cottage hideout came into view. There were several guards patrolling around but he could take them, pick them off one by one. He readied his rifle, a sleek CA-415 and attached a suppressor onto it. Tucking several knives within hidden compartments on his clothes, he steadied himself before shooting the guards off one by one. Sylus didn’t care that the suppressor wouldn’t completely mask the sound of his gun shots. He wanted to make his presence known. He wanted that crime lord to know he was coming and in particular he wanted you to know that he was there. He was going to get you out no matter what. Having taken down the guards, he made his way slowly and sleekly out from his hiding spot, scanning his surroundings to make sure there wasn’t more coming. He was met with silence but he waited. Surely she would send more guards out. Within seconds a group of them barged out and Sylus went berserk. Shooting at them until his bullets ran dry, not caring whether he made a mess or not. He just wanted to get to you and ensure your safety. There were a lot of them but he was determined, he would get you out even if he got hurt in the process. 

Finally, after what felt like the longest ongoing battle, Sylus stumbled into the cottage with cuts littered on his body. Bruises would definitely show up tomorrow but it didn’t matter he needed to find you. 

“Well, I have to admit you’ve surprised me.” uttered a voice from the darkness. The crime lord entered, clothed in all black with a crooked smile across her face. “I didn’t think you’d make it this fair. Going all the way here for your partner. How sweet.” she sneered, moving slowly towards Sylus. 

“You’ve underestimated me then.” Sylus huffed, eyes cold and in a ready stance for whatever she would throw at him next.

“Indeed I have. All this for some girl.” she cackled.

“Tell me exactly where she is.” Sylus demanded.

“No, no, no. It doesn’t work that way. You don’t get what you want after dealing with my brother like that.” she said.

“Your brother?” Sylus questioned, unsure of who she was talking about.

“My brother, the Polish kingpin. The two of you did quite a number on him I will admit, but you took the only person alive that meant something to me. So I just had to do the same to you. It hurts doesn’t it.” she shrieked before bellowing over with laughter.

“She better be alive.” Sylus fumed, keeping a tighter grip on his rifle. 

“Oh she is. Barely alive I might add.” the crime lord snickered, finding amusement in Sylus’ rising anger. He tossed away his rifle, lunging at her neck with the knife. She ducked before landing a hard punch to his chest, still laughing at him and his situation. 

“I’m going to make sure you regret every single one of your decisions.” he grunted. To say the fight beforehand hadn’t taken the most out of him would be understatement. He was running off the fumes of adrenaline and the need to find you, nothing more nothing less. This crime lord wasn’t making it any easier. Every punch she threw was landing exactly where she wanted and any counterattack Sylus hurled with his knife was barely even getting to her. She was quick and her moves were calculated, as if she was able to predict every single one of the attacks he was launching at her. He lunged at her to no avail as she dodged and sent a kick towards him, causing Sylus to stumble backwards. 

“You sure you’ll be able to make me regret my decisions? Seems like my henchmen did quite a number on you.” she jeered, taunting him in his weary state.

“Your ploy to take revenge by catching the High Table’s attention, so that they would send us directly to you, may have worked, but not on my watch. Criminals like you deserve hell and I’ll drag you down there with me if I have to.” he snarled, staggering towards the crime lord. 

“I see where your little nickname comes from. The devil’s right hand man doesn’t look like he’ll be dragging me anywhere.” she giggled, eyeing his slow movements.

“Just you wait and see.” Sylus breathed, holding his knife steady. 

Before he could even take a hit at the crime lord, she barreled towards him, taking out a knife from her sleeve before digging and twisting it into his side. Sylus let out a grunt, falling to his knees as the pain surged through his body. 

“Not so dangerous now, are you? You really thought you’d come in here with the power of love and save your girl just like that? Not on my watch, not after what you’ve done.” she seethed.

“You, still, shouldn’t underestimate...” Sylus said through irritated gasps.

“Underestimate you? What are you going to do now with that knife in your side? Charge at me? Come for my throat?” she gloated, laughing away at him.

“Well I mean.” Sylus began motioning his head behind the crime lord with a tight smile. Before she knew it, you had appeared reeling towards her at full speed. Sylus threw you his knife and you caught it leaping towards her.

“Sorry about your brother, but you’re just as bad if not ten times worse than he was.” you huffed, plunging the knife into her. Although the crime lord had ordered her henchmen to roughen you up a little, they had done a poor job of tying you up. The pain you had endured was now replaced with anger and determination to take her down. As you etched the knife further into her, the crime lord’s face was stuck in shock horror, gasps of air leaving her mouth before she flopped to the ground. 

You locked eyes with Sylus who was still alive and wearing a lopsided smile as you ran to him, arms outstretched and pulling him into you.

“I’m so happy to see you, you don’t even understand.” you spoke, choking on your words as tears began to flow out.

“Me too Y/n, me too.” Sylus sighed in relief, his free hand stroking your hair and your back. His other hand was still clutched to his side in attempts to deal with the bleeding.

“Oh shit Sylus, your side, the knife.” you frantically searched for something to wrap around his injury.

“It’s okay kitten, I’ll be okay. You know me, I can withstand anything. I just couldn't stand losing you.” Sylus whispered. You responded with a tighter hug, making sure not to irritate his wound any further.

“I’m here now. I’m not ever leaving I swear. It’s done, we’re out of here. Let’s start anew together.” you breathed, finally feeling like things were going to go your way. 

“It’s you and me together forever sweetie. I want no one else.” he replied with a soft chuckle, peppering soft kisses over your face.

“Let’s go home.”

“Finally, I thought you’d never ask.”

[cybershock24601]

I have more thoughts on the Veilguard time travel au now that Emmrich has entered the picture.

Emmrich is a cultured, kind, and incredibly intelligent man but he's also a necromancer and very enthusiastic about his craft which would leave opinions on him very split.

Most interesting would be Dorian who has to now deal with his teenage crush who is even hotter now somehow??? This can't be allowed. Whether this is a setting with an Inquisitor romancing Dorian or Iron Bull having a thing with Dorian, I think both of them might get pretty jealous of Emmrich because it is very clear Dorian used to have a crush on the guy and just might still with how he blushes whenever Emmrich compliments how far his necromancy has come along and how he blushes when Emmrich sternly admonishes him for his casual disregard for the dead

I think for characters like Vivienne and Josephine, Emmrich would likely get along quite well with them. Vivienne and Emmrich are both educators and have some similar life experiences coming from humble backgrounds and through their mage hood managing to rise to respected stations in life. They might have some differences of opinions due to their lived experiences as mages in the south vs the north but would be able to discuss them amicably and give each other new perspectives.

Solas and Emmrich would likely have some very interesting conversations about the fade and respect towards each other's expertise in the matter. Dynamic would likely change a bit depending on how much Emmrich knows about Solas, his past, and his true motives and when Rook chooses to divulge the full extent of their knowledge.

Cole and Emmrich would also have a very interesting dynamic with the unique relationship the Mourn Watch have with spirits. Emmrich would likely end up being Dad number 3 in the Cole custody battle that would be a middle ground between Solas and Varric. Manfred and Cole would also be likely to get along pretty well and Emmrich would be delighted to see not only Manfred's progress and growth but to see him making a friend that is a good influence no offense Spite

Cullen would probably do his best to avoid Emmrich because sure the guy is nice but Cullen has no clue how to handle the whole necromancer thing and it would likely freak out his Ferelden sensibilities if Emmrich were to start casually talking about raising corpses.

Cassandra would also avoid Emmrich too but that's more because he keeps trying to engage her in conversation about Nevarra and the Necropolis and Cassandra just isn't a fan of all that. Their conversations would be so funny because it would be Emmrich genuinely trying to engage with her and Cassandra being super stiff and polite because she doesn't want to offend him but absolutely does not want to be talking anything to do with grand necropolis because she thinks it is creepy. Cassandra already let slip to Rook that she doesn't like grand necropolis and our resident crypt baby got so offended because Cassandra is Nevarran, how can she not think the grand necropolis is the absolute best place in the entire world??

Varric and Bull would both probably fall in the camp of wary but both would come around to seeing Emmrich as decent guy. Sera however would be an absolute menace and that's what would probably get Sera on Rook's permanent shit list because it was one thing for Sera to be Sera to Rook and Spite as even if Rook was not cool with the way Sera trash talked necromancy and was rude to Spite in a similar way to how she treats Cole, Rook could let a lot of that go. As soon as Sera starts causing problems with Emmrich, and even worse Manfred (I can definitely see Sera pulling some pretty mean pranks on our resident spirit of Curiosity), the gloves are coming off. Sera better be ready to square up and meet Rook behind the Herald's Rest because it is going down. Rook is an incredibly nice person right up to the point you start being an asshole to one of their friends.

Manfred would also be an interesting addition because everyone has had to deal with Cole and then Spite and now we have a third spirit running around Skyhold who doesn't seem to poke at your emotions but rather seems to keep getting himself in trouble by getting stuck in rose bushes in the gardens and has a penchant for repeating some impolite words (we already got banter confirming Manfred likely knows venhedis and with how often Lucanis and Taash say things like meirda and vashedan, Manfred has probably picked those up too). I feel like Manfred would be incredibly polarizing because on the one hand, talking skeleton, but on the other hand, he's absolutely adorable and I think eventually people would start seeing what a well meaning sweetheart Manfred is. And if they don't they have to deal with an incredibly sad Emmrich and a mortally offended Rook because Manfred is the best boy!

[peach-top]

❝𝙑𝙄𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉❞

➤ ACT I. | CHAPTER O.

➤ ENTER: DARK CHOCO COOKIE

“Phew…Shame that I had to leave the Dark Cacao Kingdom, but I will return.” [Y] mumbled while traveling through the forest. He paused mid-step when he smelled strawberry jam nearby. He followed the scent of the strawberry jam, once he got closer, he found a man dressed in black, sitting near the fire. [Y] doesn't see blood anywhere, but he can still smell it.

“Excuse me…” [Y]’s voice startled the raven haired male, making him draw his sword. The taller male apologized, “Sorry. Did I scare you?”

The raven haired male lowered his sword, “It's just you.”

“???” [Y] tilted his head. “Have we met before?”

“...No. I've been watching from afar.” the male replied, stabbing his sword in the snow ground, “But I know of you. You're the Tamer of all Beasts. That's what they call you. You're the hero of the Dark Cacao Kingdom. A great replacement…”

“...” [Y] analyze the male’s appearance. Raven haired with white streak, similar to Dark Cacao Cookie. There's no questioning it. This male is related to the king. The prince. “Are you Dark Choco Cookie? I've heard Dark Cacao Cookie mentioning you before.”

“... Can't say you're wrong. I was exiled from this kingdom. I've returned to see how father might do without me until you come along…” Dark Choco mumbled. “It looks like everyone has forgotten the prince and moved on. Even father. He doesn't want to see his son nor does he see me as his own.”

[Y] stood quietly before sitting on the log a few inches away from the male, “I don't think they forget you at all.”

Dark Choco huffed, “What are you talking about? I committed a terrible crime and almost killed my father.”

“I saw a portrait of you still hanging. You look different than you are before.” The taller male pointed out.

“What?” Dark Choco gasped softly. He then scoffed, “...Tch…You’re lying…”

“I was raised in a forest by a tree spirit. I wasn't taught how to lie. They say that lying is irresponsible.” [Y] said. “But keeping secrets might not be…? Not sure…”

“...”

“However, Dark Cacao Cookie kept the portrait up as a memory. He wouldn't admit it, but I feel that he missed you.” [Y] pointed out. “I can sense other emotions and aura. Like that sword you're carrying. I smell strawberry jam.”

“...That thing…is messing with my head. I can't escape it if it's controlling my head…” Dark Choco Cookie furrowed his eyebrows. “Darkness has consumed me.”

The taller male stood up and grabbed the sword, ignoring Dark Choco’s warning. [Y] lifted the strawberry jam sword to test it out. He could hear a distorted voice within it. The effect didn't work on him.

“I see. I can understand why it's messing with your head. You're one of the poor souls who have fallen victim to this.” the taller male said, lying the sword back in place. “You know it's not too late to redeem yourself and keep fighting it.”

“...It is too late. And even if I keep trying, there's no hope to keep fighting.” the raven haired male frowned.

“There's still hope left. Don't stop. I have light by my side to protect me from the darkness…” [Y] said, using his magic to form a glowing butterfly. “No matter if the darkness tries to consume me, I will keep fighting back. I still have hope. Don't lose motivation.”

The taller male held the butterfly towards the raven haired male. Dark Choco timidly holds his hand out for the butterfly, allowing it to rest in his palm.

“...!” the raven haired male’s eyes widened when the butterfly disappeared. He looks disappointed, thinking that he might've killed it. [Y] chuckled softly, “Don't worry, it does that to mess with you.”

“It's not funny…” Dark Choco huffed.

“You could use a friend to help you out with stress.” [Y] said, much to Dark Choco’s confusion. The taller male held out his arm and whistled. The raven haired male narrowed his eyes until he jumped when heard a hawk in the distance. A white hawk landed on [Y]’s arm, “This is Lucille. A friend of mine. She will help you out if you ever feel jiffy.”

“I don't need it. It won't help.” Dark Choco furrowed his eyebrows.

“Don't refuse it. It's important to have a supportive friend with you. It'll help, trust me.” [Y] spoke before removing his bow and gently tied it around the hawk’s neck. Lucille then landed on Dark Choco’s shoulder and nuzzled against his cheek. “She likes you. Good…She can get protective at times, so you'll be safe with her.”

“Off I go.” [Y] packed up his stuff and got ready to leave, but Dark Choco stopped him.

“Wait. What's your name?” Dark Choco asked.

The taller male softly smiled, “Just called me [Y]. Let's meet again. Farewell…”

Dark Choco watched as [Y] left, leaving him with the hawk. The raven haired male turned his attention to the hawk, “Lucille, huh…? A perfect name for a hawk like yourself.”

Lucille nuzzles Dark Choco’s cheek with love and affection. The raven haired male smiled softly, “I guess I can keep you as my supportive friend then…”

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

“It took long enough. You really shouldn't be wasting your time…” Pomegranate Cookie scoffed. Her eyes landed on the hawk, “And that thing? Where did you find it?”

“She's not a “thing”. She's a friend.” Dark Choco glared.

“Friend? Since when did you make a friend?” Licorice Cookie raised his eyebrows.

“Not like you ever had any friends…Your servants don't count.” Dark Choco insulted the hooded male. “Go befriended a rock or something.”

Licorice gasped, taken back by the insults and dropped on all fours, “Why…? Why do you have to be so cruel?!”

“Enough. Stop crying. How are you a part of the Cookies of Darkness?” The female scowled

“S-shut your mouth! You don't know anything!!!” Licorice sobbed before running away.

“...I’m surrounded by idiots…”

╭ ⁞ ❏. facts

┊ ⁞ ❏. silver kingdom here we come

┊ ⁞ ❏. [y] can't lie, but can keep secrets

➤ preview.

➤ chapter i.

[writhyv]

⋆｡°✩ your domestic boyfriend is away on tour

fairy of shampoo | park jongseong x male!reader

pairing: jay x male!reader genre: fluff word count: 1.0k notes: ANOTHER JAY STORY!! I just can't get enough of this man ... had the inspo to do this and all I could search online was his videos ... im sure we all did that 😫

He's a little bit far away from you.

You let out a soft groan as you lean your head against the counter, exhaustion weighing down your body. Jay glances over, a teasing smile playing on his lips, but he can see past the surface. “Bored already?” he asks, his tone light, yet his eyes betray a hint of concern as they catch your yawning figure.

“Noo… Just tired,” you reply, your voice wavering slightly, the fatigue evident in every syllable. As much as he wanted to feel concerned, it was fascinating how you still denied it with such cuteness.

He tilts his head, studying you intently. “You can go to bed, honey,” he suggests gently, the warmth of his smile a soothing balm for your tired soul. “You don’t have to stay up with me.”

You fidget with the ends of your knitted sleeves, the gesture a familiar comfort. Yet, even the fabric feels heavy against your skin tonight. The warmth you’ve come to cherish is absent, leaving an emptiness that gnaws at your insides. It drains your energy, steals your motivation, and makes the night stretch endlessly. You might even say it’s worse than being sick; at least then, you could still muster the strength to do chores, much to Jay’s playful annoyance at your relentless spirit.

“But I want to…” you murmur, your voice barely breaking through the silence.

Jay chuckles softly, but the sound carries an underlying worry. He feels a tight pang of loneliness wash over him, a sensation he can’t shake off when he’s away on tour. He doesn’t like missing out on moments like these—seeing you feel small and tired, wishing he could wrap you in his arms and shield you from the harsh confines of this oh-so-cruel world. The glow of your face on the screen brings him comfort, yet it’s not enough. He yearns to be there beside you, to feel the warmth of your presence against him.

His band is on tour across the U.S., and while he knows it’s part of his job, it pains him to just leave you behind. If it weren’t for that demanding project at work, one that you swear will break your back, you could have been enjoying a cozy getaway together. The thought makes his heart ache.

“Look at you, you’re already so tired,” he says softly, concern lacing his voice. “Are you even checking if the ramyeon is done?”

You jerk up at the reminder, the delicious aroma hitting you like a wave. “Ahhh!!” Panic sets in, and Jay can’t help but laugh at the sight of you scrambling to the kitchen. But behind that laughter lies a deeper worry; he can see how overwhelmed you’ve been lately, how the weight of the world rests heavily on your shoulders when he’s not there to support you.

As you brush your hair back, narrowly avoiding the smoke alarm again, he wishes he could be the one to take care of you. He knew that you being independent was never easy, and the thought of you feeling lonely without him makes his heart ache. You settle back in front of your laptop, a small pout on your lips, and he feels a surge of affection mixed with helplessness.

“Done?” he asks, hopeful as he seems to return from somewhere off-screen.

“Yeah…” you reply with a soft sigh. “I’ll let it cool down and maybe eat it later.”

He watches you closely, his heart swelling with concern and love. “Try to eat on time, honey.”

You meet his gaze, and for a moment, he sees the flicker of vulnerability in your eyes. “I’ll try,” you whisper, and he knows the struggle behind those words.

As you try to fix your posture atop your wooden bar stool, he picks up his guitar, cradling it with such care. “Want to fall asleep to me strumming some tunes?” he asks, his voice soft, almost intimate.

You beam a big smile stretching from one ear to another, warming his heart. It’s always a treat when he plays for you, and he feels that this will definitely be a moment of connection that will transcend the distance between you.

"Then go to bed." You look at him, almost begrudgingly. He could only chuckle back at you, knowing that little snark you had was coming out so slowly.

"Please?"

You huffed under your hot breath.

“Fine...” you say, surrendering to the comfort of your space. You then walked a little bit from your kitchen towards the warm confines of your bedroom. The ambient lights in your room create a cozy atmosphere, and you settle into bed, placing your laptop where Jay can see you clearly. He’s tuning his guitar when he notices you all bundled up in your sheets.

“I miss your warmth, Jay,” you confess, pulling the covers tightly around yourself. “I can still smell you from here.”

“Then just sleep like usual,” he replies, his gaze softening as he looks at you through the screen. “Fall asleep while I play your favorite.”

You nestle into your bed, the soft pillows reminding you of him. Seeing you so cozy makes Jay feel a little drowsy, but he fights it off since it’s still afternoon where he is.

With a gentle strum of his guitar, he begins to play your favorite song. The chords resonate beautifully, each note wrapping around you like a warm hug. His fingers dance over the strings, wanting the melody to wrap around you like his arms would if he were there, to soothe you and bring you peace. The chords resonate beautifully, each note a reminder of his love for you, a promise that you’re never truly alone, even when he’s miles away.

As the last note fades away, he glances at you, noticing your stillness. The sight of you peacefully asleep brings a wave of relief, and he can’t help but smile. It seems his music has worked its magic again—you’ve drifted off, cradled by the sounds of his affection. He wishes he could reach out and caress your cheek, to tell you that everything will be okay, but he knows he has to go now, called back to the reality of his afternoon stage practice.

“Good night, honey,” he whispers, his heart heavy with love and longing as he quietly ends the call, closing his laptop softly. He knows that while the distance separates you, the bond you share remains unbreakable.

| masterlist! | previous | next |

[blenselche]

insert for ch2

"Finn, come on."

background items: Marcy Acoustic set poster from Scream Queens, Fern's leaves pressed between glass, Finn's Candy Kingdom diplomat pin, the cash he won in a bet in the comic Marcy & Simon, the dimensional sword, root sword. I wanted to add more but thought it'd get too busy.

closer view and excerpt under the cut

He finds himself before the sink, mussing up his oily hair and disheveled beard to rid himself of wood chips, splashing water over his face and coughing after breathing deep off a stale cigarette. The cherry fizzles back at him against the aluminum as he taps it off into an empty. He tugs at the bottom of his eyelid — the whites of his eyes are yellowing again. Pressing his forehead to the mirror and staring at his reflection he sees Martin's eyes, jaw and brow. He sees his maladjusted view, understands now what he meant, in the end.

He can't look in a mirror without seeing the man staring back at him, and it only gets worse with age.

“You’re fine. Today was just a bad day,” he recites just as he’s been told to, loyal tool of the kingdom that he is, a coping mechanism PB calls self affirmation. He leans back, scoffing, “in a long line of bad days.”

His feet carry him to the stump set before his wood stove, and the air toasts his frozen fingers and melts away the pins and needles in the skin that his port connects to. Anxiety bubbles its way up his esophagus and he drowns it with a long pull off his homebrew, eyes flickering from the bottle to his prosthetic, foot tapping furiously. He sighs and gives into the itch at the back of his brain, taking the wish out and reading it over again, biting more teeth marks into a pencil already shredded down to the lead.

It’s something to look forward to. Something he can put off, hoping ‘it gets better’ but it hasn’t and he’s almost certain it won’t. A morbid form of motivation to get more built, work harder, save more people, hoping against hope he’ll wake up happy before he has to spirit himself away. But none of it matters without fulfillment, sat alone and suffocating under his own melancholy in this empty space, only a facsimile of a loved one on his chest for company. He wants to see his brother, he wants to see his mom. He wants from the bottom of his being to go back and smack himself for being dumb, deaf and blind in the face of his own wants and needs. He hunches more in on himself and clutches it harder, it crinkles back at him, threatening another rip.

Slim, sage colored fingers enter his vision and pluck the precious slip of writing from his hand.

“I’ll give it back if you clean yourself up and go to bed.”

“I have it memorized,” he sighs. “I thought you believed in nihilism, anyway, Miss nothing matters and the wind makes my decisions.” Their eyes meet and he can’t help himself but to smile, though it doesn’t reach the rest of his face.

“I believe in natural predeterminism inscribed on our souls by our great earth mother, not in being a sad sack with whisky dick.”

“Ouch. My ego,” he drones, throwing his palm to his chest in faux hurt. “Like I’m disappointing anyone these days. Cot’s closed, sweetheart.”

“So not why I’m here.” She rolls her eyes and holds her hand out, motioning for the bottle.

“If you crack it open against my floor you owe me a face cord of firewood.” He hands it over by the neck and she takes a fifth straight, wiping her mouth with the back of her glove and gagging. “Christ, bad day?”

“Not yet.” She sighs deeply, clearing her throat of the burn and takes a seat on the floor next to him. “You’re going to be pissed with me. I thought saying anything would just upset you, but you’re still set on doing this,” she waves the wish in her hand, “so. It might help. I don’t know.”

“What are you talking about?” His voice drops decibels, adam’s apple bobbing as he gruffly clears his throat.

“I swear to you I didn’t keep this from you on purpose.” She huffs a sigh and peers up at him guiltily. “You know, Fern crashed in my woods with LSP, but we never spoke. Not until the war.”

“…” his breath gets caught in his lungs, burning.

“I forgot. There was so much going on, back then.” She blinks at him, brows steepled, and covers his hand with her own. “What he said— when I did remember I thought it would just break your heart all over again, so I’ve kept it to myself.”

His hackles raise and defensiveness floods his veins, skin hot and starting to prick with nervous sweat. “Excuse me?” he asks, resistive.

Her eyes hold his though, expression full of pity unchanged. “Finn. Come on.” Her thumb brushes against his knuckles and he shakes her off.

His anger speaks for him, misplaced and protective of his brittle heart. “It’s been a decade and you think I’m like this over some kid I knew for half a minute when we were teenagers?”

“He wasn’t just some kid, I‘ve seen you- you know. Lurking in his tree. It’s a contributing factor in your whole bummer lifestyle because you never processed his death. Or are we still pretending that he has nothing to do with us?” Her voice is gentle but firm, not entertaining his usual evasiveness.

“I'm not doing this,” he snaps, shutting down. He stands and walks to the door, holding it open even though the cold night air will chill the space again. “I am sorry, ‘Tess, for— for whatever you think you know. I can’t rehash it. I’ve buried that shit deep, and it’s gonna stay there.”

“I asked him what he was fighting for. He was dying, falling apart under me, I was just trying to keep him distracted," she barrels ahead anyway. “He looked me in the eye and said ‘same as you.’ Maybe he opened up to me because of what was happening to him, or because he knew we had— you in common, I’m not sure.” She looks at him with such compassionate sympathy that it makes him nauseous. “He adored you, Finn—“ his knees buckle, “—he said he was happy to die for you if it meant he could 'make up for everything that happened after you left him behind’.” She stands and reads the wish, scrutinizing. “If you truly need to do this to be happy… knowing that can’t hurt.”

How he’s able to remain upright he doesn’t know, but a flash of devastation covers his face before he can recover.

“Please, don’t tell me his business,” he rasps, voice wavering. “I can’t,” he begs, croaking out the words through the raw vice of emotion choking him. “I can’t think about it.” He closes his eyes, pleading with his whole body.

He feels a hand brush against his cheek, and her lips press to his softly, whispering “I’ll miss you.”

When he opens his eyes again she’s gone. Bottle and paper placed neatly on his stool. He closes the door and leans against it, hugging himself and breathing hard, face hot with upset. The more he tries to calm himself the closer he comes to hyperventilating, and when the tears start his breathing only worsens. He crams his fist against his mouth and takes a shuddering gasp in, close to wailing over it.