#Idk why you gotta take that out on some random guy talking about a specific store tho

[chartreuxcatz]

American: “Hey has anyone else had this experience?”

Non-American: “Have you considered that not everyone is American? Do you know that your experiences are not universal? This post is disgustingly American-centric, you stupid ethnocentric nationalistic fat racist-”

[crushedsweets]

What about some lulu headcannons since you seem to like her? :)

oh anon u are spoiling me.... heres a little sketch of her college life. let me begin . . tw for general creepypasta things, abuse, bullying, death, etc

ok. so a lot lulus og stuff is gross obviously (although a majority of the og creepypastas have gross origins/creators). as a kid, i was pretty attached to her, but looking back , its just. ugghhghgh. which is why i want to try giving her her own horror type story while still following some of the core things that made her her. BEGONE WITH MIDDLE/HIGH SCHOOL KILLERS...

lulu is 24 but described as 'physically 14' which bugs me esp bc theres so much emphasis on her body being like an adult. and frankly i am not crazy about yet another 'little kid bullied/abused then goes crazy/demonic' story so i scrapped the bullshit ‘is 24 but looks 14 but is drawn like she’s 24!’. So I decided to just to make make her whole zalgo poisoning occur later in life. since its now set in university, a handful of things changed. mayhaps she knows jack ?

she grew up as a rich girl being put through several private schools growing up. she wasnt the smartest, she wasnt the most social, and while i think that the og story did this really fucking poorly, she did deal with harassment cuz she developed early. ranged from people calling her a slut for the same clothes as a thinner girl, to getting dress coded for no good reason, to rumors, etc. so, she's being bullied by her peers, though its moreso a ton of gossip rather than stuff in her og. overall school sucked for her

finally she goes to university. shes away from all those people, away from her helicopter parents, away from dress codes and loneliness. she tries SO hard to keep up the perfect daughter persona in public bc she knows shes walking on thin ice(having been punished for things out of her control all her life), with a wardrobe full of pencil skirts and button ups, but then she finally meets this guy named josh. but that shit gets seriously exhausting. and as many kids in her position do, she wants to Rebel .. she starts going to parties and whatnot w her edgy ass roommate. random garage shows, raves, generally reckless behavior etc. its not her fully her thing but she's there and having fun.

idk his name in the og story but there was that guy that led her on just to further abuse her. i changed him up and made him some guy in a frat that she met at a rando party. he was so sweet to her the first time they met, they talked for a long time at the party, he was cool overall and she never ever craved attention like this before - she never even GOT attention like this before, coming from an all girls school, so she clung. but he wasnt actually gonna date her, so he said some bullshit excuse about 'you know how greek life is, my frat wont let me date u unless u join this specific sorority!! soz' and he chose the worst, most clique-y sorority that has the most insane hazing ritual for girls that arent sought after. he thought there was no way she'd give it a shot and he could get her off his back. a dick move, but he didnt think she'd do it.

but, she does - and the hazing is fucking shit. the girls in the sorority are worse than the girls in highschool (and maybe in cliché fashion, one of her highschool bullies ended up in the sorority before her?). it starts off as things like 'oh you gotta buy your sorority sisters coffee for a week' to 'oh you have to be drunk/high throughout all your classes for a week' to completely deranged shit like branding yourself or slashing a professors tires. things nobody in their right mind would do, typically.

i havent decided exactly how exactly lulu hits the point where they think she's dead, but a group of sorority girls think she is. they panic, and in their panic cannot feel her pulse or hear breathing. she's completely unconscious, cold, and frankly on the way to death - so they take her to slenders forest and get to work

they bury her in a shallow grave, unaware of all the different demons residing in the forest watching one of the most gruesome displays of humanity. if youve watched girl from nowhere, theres a scene where nano gets buried alive by a group of her classmates then she wakes up . . imagine that.

im thinking, similar to the operator, zalgo can infect people as well . . maybe people on their death beds ? anyway, lulu's infected. long after the girls run off, lulu manages to dig herself out of the grave. shes wheezing, coughing, sobbing, its dark and cold and foggy, and she now has to come face to face with zalgo making some weird 'i saved you, i want something in return.' and there goes her eyes !!! rip lulu. maybe zalgo did it cuz hes a dick, maybe he actually needs human parts to seal the deal.

theres some more interaction but overall lulu doesnt have a ton of demon powers or anything. new wounds heal quickly, but her past ones will never will. she can be eerily quiet, popping in and out with fog, doesn't need food/water/sleep. . she does have kinda crazy strength(no agility or speed), but she's so mentally weak it does nothing for her

for a while she does just wander the forest in complete and utter mourning, until one of the proxies finds her and is like Oh Fuck that's not human. toby describes her as a zombie. so she's another job for them to handle

eventually they settle her in the hospital with ann.. the hospital is likely an area that experiences more fog, being closer to the lake perhaps, so it just makes sense to put her in an area she can see. it took a while for lulu to calm down bc she now has a pretty big fear around women , and the proxies have to CONSTANTLY come around and check in for a while, cuz she feels safer with them. maybe they tried putting her with jack but jack said absolutely the fuck not. bc lulus legitmately scary. she's constantly croaking, crying, wheezing, dripping blood everywhere she goes, etc.

she eventually gets along with ann, who thinks lulus cute and fun to chat with. i made a joke about them doing tiktok dances together but like. i could see it. maybe ann reminds lulu of her roommate, the only girl whos been completely nice to her ? dunno. (despite the roomie being the reason lulu got into the partying and stuff)

mmmmmm yeah. that is basically the entire rewrite .

i likely wont include her too much in the story just because the rewrite is so drastic+shes not all too popular but i used to feel very fondly towards her when i was 10 and i do think her character cconcept is super cool (the fog, the eye stuff, zalgo poisoning etc). theres just hella weird stuff but its a creepypasta from 2013 idk what we expect

[tehb3stsk4t3revr]

Howdy. Exactly what it says on the blog title, I am not gonna subject my mutuals to me posting roblox boys I am way too weak to own this interest publicly

Me:

Call me Kelly! He/Him. (Yeah bet you were probably expecting Kasper huh?)

I am an adult (under 30). This blog is rated T for Teens, I don't post NSFW (can't imagine where I'd find it anyway...) ✌️

I am at peace with sharing a fandom space with kids but if you're a minor uncomfortable with me commenting on your Regretevator art/posts, no prob! Boundaries are good, block if you gotta block!

This blog will mostly be Infected related, with some Lampert, Wallter, and Pest stuff mostly. Depends on what I find that I like?

I reblog random non-regretevator posts that remind me of regretevator. Don't worry about it > 0 >

This will be like 95% reblogs by volume but I do draw and post. Text posts and talking to other users tag is #Dead Guy Chatter, Art Tag is #Haha. I did that

Hi Kelly, Why Did You Reblog 30 Posts From Me Then Fuck Off Into The Sunset?:

I go post by post in the character tags when I'm bored at work, sorry lol

I guarantee that when I'm doing that I'm gonna forget that I already reblogged something and reblog it again like a week later. Take it as a compliment, I guess??? Your art is beautiful thank you for posting it

If I recognize something (or think I recognize it anyway...) that's a #D3j4 Vu r3bl0g. I just felt like reblogging again!

You might've also liked something from me so I backread through your blog until I ran out of attention span :D

You're on my DNI tho???:

It wasn't on purpose. I often forget to look at pinned posts before reblogging, especially if I got to your post from someone else's blog or a character tag. Again, block if it makes you feel better.

Blog Contents & Tagging:

Haiii, I'm A Shipper! ~(￣▽￣)~

I'm tagging Skaterlight with #Mah br41nr0t (I love my brainrot, it's a compliment!)

Partyskater is #P4rteh h4rd!

#The Unpleasant Ship Ever is for whatever the hell it is Jeremy and Unpleasant have going on, it makes me laugh.

Will add more ship specific tags to filter/binge if I need 'em but I don't rn.

I will not tag interactions between characters that seem like they're a non-romantic context. IDC if I or OP ships it. Infected and Lampert standing in the same room is not skaterlight unless they're calling each other pet names or makin' out or something. Exceptions being when I'm tagging my own art for reach.

There's no specific tag for Infected/Lampert vs Kasper/Lampert here; everything is just 'Skaterlight br41nr0t' to me. Happy to be corrected if there is actually a distinction I don't know about tho, I Strongly prefer Kasper/Lampert.

I love things that make me sad! (❁´◡`❁)

Injury tag is #0uch. Includes everything from heavy nosebleeds and vomiting to eye injuries, severe real life symptoms of illness, and cat death (o7 Poptart). I rarely reblog this stuff because I don't enjoy seeing characters I like get hurt, but sometimes the suffering feels In Character, idk.

Emotional Damage tag is #P41N and covers everything from relationship angst to implied offscreen death.

No I'm not tagging jokes about Mark and Wallter being divorced, they're hilarious and also canon lol.

Gross, this guy has boundaries! ( ಠ_ಠ )

Please tell me if someone I reblog from has a sketchy reputation. I'm not super involved in fandom drama and don't keep tabs on every controversy, but I want to be able to investigate for myself.

FleshCousins are a species of critter they're not sapient enough to like. Consent. I'm keeping my distance if you ship that or draw anything weird of one, idc if yours is a person, that is like... A parrot made of sewer hamburgers to me. ✌️😐

I am not proship, please leave me the fuck alone if you're into character relationship dynamics involving SA or other mad nasty stuff like that. There doesn't need to be a fight about it, I'll mind my business if you mind yours, kk?

[tastyykpop]

nct dating headcannons!

I only did 127 because there's so many but ill do the others if anyone requests it :)

ɴᴄᴛ ʙғ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ

Taeil

Mr. Moon Taeil is the definition of a cuddly boyfriend

Hes always holding your hand or kissing your cheek

Definitely gets shy when the members are around but in public youre all his

Hes super sincere about anything too but also knows how to joke around

I mean have you seen him with nct

Hes funny❗❗

Like he's gonna make you laugh no matter what

And those deep convos yall would have at night while cuddling>>>

"What if we were put on earth by aliens as an experiment to see if we would live and everytime we see ufos its just our cousins checking up on us"

Eyes wide open, "bro"

Taeils either the big or small spoon too

There's no in between

Also the biggest baby when yall are chilling

"I call small spoon!"

"But you were the small spoon last night"

"K and what about it"

10/10 would complain if you didn't want to sit with him and watch a movie or show

Would probably guilt trip you by saying you never watch something with him

Hes a sweet manipulator...

But he could easily replace you with one of the members

Like sicheng

Taeil will always ask if you've eaten

If you haven't eaten he gets big sad

Don't make him sad

Plus hes always checking on your health

And he'll know if your lying if you say you're doing fine when you're not

Also don't lie in general cuz he doesn't like that

That would make him trust you a bit less and he definitely wants trust in the relationship

Trust is a huge key or hes out

Johnny

This man 🥲

Boyfriend Material™

So gentle and loving

Loves making you feel special and will hype the shit out of you when you don't feel confident doing something

Will always make sure you're doing okay

Johnny puts in so much effort to make this relationship work and expects you to put the same amount of effort into it too

Like taeil, hes really big on trust

Add honesty to that list

Plus he expects you to be mature when needed

If you're the type of person who depends on someone else for everything and I'm mean everything he will actually leave

Hes not your babysitter❤

But he will take care of you to some extent

Like basic things for instance

He'll make you food if you're sick, get you water if your dehydrated, will get your feminine products when you need it

Very sweet😌

Okay and he spoils you but wbk

"Why are you getting me so much things?"

"Because I love you."

"But why did you get me a kitten costume???"

He has some kinks to work out 😐

Johnny will go to shop after shop even if you say you don't want something (you do but you just don't want him to pay) he'll get it without batting an eye

"Youve been staring at these shoes for 5 minutes imma buy them for you"

"Huh? No! I-"

"Too late"

will take you out to dinner all the time just to be romantic

Hes actually really good at romantic stuff

I say Johnny you say whipped

Johnny👀

Whipped😫

His free time is always you time

So don't bother saying your busy cuz now hes busy with you

"Johnny i got a test coming up can you come later? I need to study

"Thats cute im coming over to help"

Taeyong

Judging taeyong on his looks, some say he would be cold to his girlfriend

Like a tsundere

But the man is quite the opposite

Though he can be stern if need be

He has 22 children what do you expect

Will literally treat you like his members and always taking care of you

But there will be times when you have to take care of him because hes so tired from work

He turns into a baby when he's tired or lazy too

So wrap him in a burrito blanket and hes all set for the day

Makes weird noises but thats normal

You're just watching tv and hes just making some old video game sounds with his mouth

No one questions it

If he didnt make sounds you'd probably question it

Talks in pout if he doesn't get his way with you

"Why don't you wanna play games with me~"

"Bruh I'm tired"

Or just gives you those big puppy eyes without even trying

Complete other person when you're not listening

He just kinda stares at you all intimidating like until you listen

Taeyong won't do anything too bad if you kept ignoring him, but you don't know that

Omg bro he'd literally bring you on vlive with him to chat

Even if the company is like '???Shes not an idol???'

But its taeyong so SM doesn't care🧍‍♂️

"We have special guest again! Its y/n-ah!!"

You'd be just chilling on his bed giving him a wtf look until you realize there's a camera and smile

"Shes cute. Isn't she cute guys?"

Don't try to escape the vlive, he'll just get up and sit you on his lap

Makes everyone watching jelly🥲

Bro he would make fun of you the same way he makes fun of doyoung

you'd be sitting with doyoung or sumn and taeyong just comes up to the both of you and decides

'Its time to end these two'

You and doyoung are just like 'tf did we do'

Somehow some other members are making fun of yall

Of course they aren't mean

Its all fun and games and gives you a good laugh after

Doyoung

Hes literally a mom

But its ok

You love it

Sometimes

He also nags a lot

And if you don't listen he gets mad

You wouldn't tell him this but you find it funny

And cute🤐

"Youre almost as bad as dream" 

"what are u talking about im an angel"

"Kay then put the knife down we kinda need haechan to live"

Hes beaten you with a pillow once

In front of taeyong

Taeyong was watching like 👁👄👁

I dont think he cares much for pda tbh

But he doesn't hate it

He'll hug you a lot

And doyoung will probably kiss you here and there

But thats depending on his mood

If he's tired he'd probably just hold you in his arms

Either way he still makes you smile even with the smallest of touches

When you guys go out in public doyoung always holds your hand

I mean always

Remember when I said he doesn't seem like the type to be into pda

I lied

Doyoung wants everyone to know youre his

He won't kiss you but he will pull you into random hugs and hold your hand like he's gonna lose you any second

Doyoung also can't go anywhere without dressing his best

Like even if he's just practicing he's gotta look cute

And he always does because he's fucking kim doyoung

Doyoung also has a habit to make up names for you

Like one day he'll call you babe/baby

The next day could be angel or princess

Then there's you who just calls him bunny because he hates (loves) it

Expect some random gifts from him

Cuz like Johnny, he likes to spoil you

he just loves the smile thats plastered on your face

Pinches your cheeks evey time you smile too

When you guys are just chilling in the dorms you are always doing something to make doyoung get "angry"

"Angry" doyoung is a fun doyoung

Says you and taeyong 🤭

Literally will chase you around the dorm until he gets you and "scolds you"

Hell also scold taeyong

Sometimes you prank him with the other members

*cough*haechan*cough*

But doyoung knows youre just being playful

So he kinda laughs at you

Yuta

Hes a devil

Wbk

He can go from calling you the cutest lil thang to saying the most inappropriate stuff

"U have such a pretty mouth" 

"no stop" 

"how about u use it on my-"

"OUT DEMON"

Besides that he's actually very nice

Although he doesn't really show his affection like how most couples would

At first hes kinda like a "cold boyfriend" but not?

Gives off a tsundere kinda vibe

He lives for pda

Especially if you initiate it

His favorite is kissing your neck

Not in a sexual way or trying to give you hickeys tho

He just comes over and kisses it

Probably has a neck kink 😳

Same 😌

When you guys are out in public his arm is always around your waist or shoulders

He gets easily jealous when you give anyone any attention

Especially if you have a pet

He will be pouty for God knows how long until you notice

"I'll make it up to you"

"ok then prove it *pats his lap*"

"...I can and will replace you with this animal"

Will not let a dude flirt with you

If he sees a dude flirt with you he just gives them ㄒ卄乇 ㄥㄖㄖҜ

Lowkey hot

But sometimes gives you that look if u aren't listening to him

Its an advantage

Freaks you out tho

When your sitting on the couch minding your own damn business yuta always pulls you onto his lap or sits you between his legs

He really likes to be close to you

So when you guys are sitting he keeps his head on your shoulder and his arms wrapped around you gently rocking you both

Omg im making myself feel single

If you are sad yuta will always be the first person you lean on

Even if its not serious

"Who do I need to fuck up?"

"Im literally just on my period..."

The members sometimes tease him because they'd never seen him so in love

He looks at you like ur his everything

Because you are

He'll tell you that too

If you say something bad about urself he gives you a whole ass lecture about how u should love yourself the way he loves you

He'd be talking for 25 minutes but you stopped listening 30 minutes ago

Literally scolds you for not listening

Loves how well you get along with the members

But also hates how well you get along with specific members because of how similar you are with them

What I'm trying to say is that you are a bit too similar to mark🚶‍♂️

Jaehyun

Frat boy boyfriend

Lowkey wants to fuck everyday

Idk he gives off that vibe

But jaehyuns just chill half the time

Hes like an American boyfriend like bitch you're Korean 👁👄👁

Hes super cuddly and warm

Thats weird wait

Like when you're cold just snuggle into him because body heat <3

Always loosely has his arms around your waist when just laying down

Whole different story if you're sitting on his lap and just standing around

Back hugs😫😫

Dead ass the first thing he does if he sees you is give you a back hug

It works for a lot of things

Surprise? Back hug

You're cooking? Back hug

Horny? Back hug

Solves his life problems basically

Hes a freak omg

Very flirtatious too

Hes just that bitch

Either he makes you blush or roll your eyes

"Y/n you're ass is fat"

Def an ass guy😑

Hes the type of guy to put his hands in your jeans back pocket

Wait no im feeling jaehyun too much rn

BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS

Or when yall hug his hand doesn't rest on your back but your ass

If you're wearing some shorts or something that makes your but pop

Hes gonna smack it and pretend like nothing happened

Yo someone pls save me im in my jae feels

Nah I've been talking about his ass kink for too long

Ummmm

Okay for real though jaes actually really nice and kind of careless when it comes to you

Fuck everyone else, if you've fallen and scraped your knee hes gonna be that soccer mom and rip a band aid out of nowhere

But if one of his members scraped their knee he'd just look the other way and smile like nothing happened

Earlier I said he was chill but hes also loud too

You walk into the dorms and the first thing you hear is "Y/N!!" Wyd?

You swear he doesn't realize how loud he is half the time because of that deep voice

This bitch always makes sure youre healthy and tries to take you to the gym with him

It dont work cuz this bitch just stares at your ass

Nah I need to do the next member

Jungwoo

hes literally the cutest especially around you

When he greets you its basically a whole ass bear hug

Whole lots a kissing

Literally doesn't care where you guys are

He will kiss you anywhere

Loves to kiss your forehead because he doesn't have to bend down as much🤭

doesnt care if the members are there

Nobody ever questions it either

"youre my baby right?"

"jungwoo-"

"riGhT?"

"Yes...."

He does aegyo if he doesn't get his way

It works every time don't lie

Will probably sit on your lap for some reason

Hes not light

But if you can do it so can he

you guys never get into fights

Even if you do its never anything serious

"you fucking pushed me so u could win"

"false I accidentally bumped my arm into urs"

"whats accidental is the murder im going to commit"

"what?"

"What?"

Smh young love

Going shopping with jungwoo is like shopping with a kid

Will beg for any food he lays his eyes on

"Omg can we get cookies?🥺"

"only if your paying"

“*gently places cookie dough back* lmao cookies? Never heard of her"

No matter how tired the boy is he will always find time for you

Hell take you too your favorite restaurants and even if you insist on paying he wont let you

If you don't marry him I will

When you guys are walking in public he will always be holding your hand

Says its because he doesn't want you to get lost

But you know damn well its actually him who doesn't want to get lost😳

Jk you just know he wants to be close to you

If you make any suggestive joke he always knows how to counterpart it

Leaving you speechless like the members

When you guys are going to bed he has his arms wrapped around your waist

first thing jungwoo does before sleeping is giving you a kiss

Doesn't care if your asleep or awake

Then a quiet 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Mark

i dont even know how to explain this relationship bruh

like its mark lee its gonna be a weird time

ok so marks actually hella nice

kinda bro or dude zones you but you do it back

theres a bunch of yo’s too

as someone who says yo a lot im happy i can relate to him

“yo youre doing that wrong though”

“dude im literally reading the directions, it said 3 cups of water”

“bro it says 3/4 oh my god”

yall cant cook 

taeyong wont even allow even you to help him cook

anyway marks special

but seriously marks actually a very gentle person with you

like legit is super nice to you even if you sometimes piss him off

marks probablys only been mad at you once then was like ‘its okay’

go to his practices cuz he loves that shit

he really likes when you are social with the members too

cuz then you guys are all friends and he can just bring you to places with them :D

this kid will literally not to pda in front of any member so you have to basically force him to just hug you

johnnys always making fun of you two and mark panics everytime while youre just like ‘yeah what about it’

compliment mark and hes blushing and squealing like an anime girl

inch resting concept 

“mark you look cute today”

“o-oh um..yeah thanks”

and this man can take compliments but with you its a whole new story

aight lemme get serious

marks mad sensitive 

so dont actually purposely make him mad, jealous, or upset

it would crush him

and he doesnt want someone like that in a relationship

cuz if he doesnt purposely do it to you, dont do it to him

take notes 

Haechan

hes a brat bye

would actually fight you just to get his way

makes fun of you on a regular

thinks hes cute 

hes not wrong

but actually he knows how to act mature when he needs to

like if youre genuinly getting upset with him, he will straighten up and quicky apologize, even give you a phat kiss and hug

might take you to get ice cream after if he really upset you

he can be nice

nah jk hes very nice and is a really energetic boyfriend

haechan always wants to do something with you liek go to the amusement park, go out to eat, or go shopping

sometimes makes everything seem like a hassle to leave and go somewhere with you cuz hes either lazy or playing video games

“cant you just go by yourself?”

“but what if i get lost”

“the ice cream place is literally five miles away”

“actually its seven so im gonna get lost”

hed groan the whole time just to be annoying but you dont care cuz you got your ice cream

if you go to any concert or practice, haechan always has to make things more sexy than they should be

like ‘fool’ became hella sexual and for what

its probably one of his favorites to make you blush

he loves your reactions

keeps him alive

hyucks always got something to say even at the most awful times

youre literally choking on water and he goes “ill give you something to choke on later”

and you have to cancel your dying session to smack his head

my guy has no filter

and he wont even hide that around the members

theres always that smirk on his cute ass face if he succeeds too

i have the sudden urge to fight him

[nomadicadventures]

Haikyuu Boys make Macarons w their gn s/o pt2

kita, suna, osamu, atsumu

Pt1

Warnings: fluff, atsumu’s has a tiny bit of suggestive in it ig

A/N: macarons but make it ✨Inarizaki✨

Kita

He loves your baking and asks you to make something for the team holiday party coming up

You had been wanting to try out a few new recipes anyway so took advantage of the opportunity to test them out on the team

You ask him to help because you were gonna try to juggle 3 batches and recipes in 1 day (stressed just thinking abt it lmao) 

The flavors are orange, peppermint, and chocolate idk why holidays ig

Like Akaashi man is prepared to help 

I feel like Kita likes the structure of baking recipes

Follows your lead and does everything you ask of him perfectly

Cleans as you go so the kitchen doesn’t become a disaster

We love an organized man ‼️

Helps keep all the different timers and batters organized so nothing gets forgotten

Likes the quality time of just doing something domestic with you

When you get a bit overwhelmed he’s right there to calm you down and take over for a second 🥺

We know this man loves routine and repetition so his piping skills are IMMACULATE ✨

Little bit of cleaning during the wait time but mostly cuddles

You arrange an assembly line which is basically him pairing up all the cookies, you piping the fillings, then him going back and putting the halves together 

He smiles when you put some aside to bring his grandma later

Achievement unlocked! 🔓: Kisses from Kita 😚

Obv helps you carry all the platters into the gym for the party 

Very proud of your amazing skills and sings your praises to the team

Blushes a bit when u tell the team he is also amazing 

The team pokes fun at him but he is unfazed by their antics

100/10 I love Kita he’s such a sweet captain 

Suna

Lazy mf 🙄

As his s/o you are already aware he will be of no help at all

Makes a flavor request anyway

He wanted chocolate

You say yes cuz you love him but force him to go the store for ingredients w you 

He pushes the cart and snaps the twins pics of you holding random shit

Almost runs you over like 12 times, most of them were accidental

When you get home he plants himself on a stool next to you so he can watch

Hands you things like measuring cups when asked

Pulls you onto his lap while you’re waiting for the stiff peaks to form

Keeps distracting you by asking for kisses

Gets bored for a bit so he facetimes the twins 

Osamu asks questions about baking that you happily answer from off camera 

Atsumu asks if he can come over and try them and Suna says no 

Suna talks you into napping on the couch w him while the cookies dry for 2 hours

You make sure to set multiple timers so you don’t accidentally over dry the cookies

When the timer goes off you have to pry Suna’s arms off of you 

“No, stay.”

“Rin, babe, I’ll be right back. I just gotta put the cookies in the oven”

He whines when u leave but doesn’t get up

You go back to the couch and he drags you down to him

You guys lay there and watch tiktoks on his phone while the cookies bake

Whines again when you leave to take the cookies out and make the filling

Eventually returns to his stool beside you and continues scrolling through his phone

You demonstrate how to gently assemble the macarons and then have him do it while you pipe all the filling

Claims he won’t share with the twins but you set aside some for them anyway

9/10 bitch is distracting but we love him anyway 🙄😘🥰

Osamu

Cooking is more his vibe but he’s down to spend a few hours baking w you

You ask him if he wants a specific flavor

“Are onigiri macarons a thing?”

“Google said no but macaron-shaped onigiris are a thing”

Catch Osamu making those for you later

anyway

Osamu decides on caramel macarons

Insert mini argument over how to pronounce caramel 🙄

You guys are professionals so homemade salted caramel with vanilla buttercream and caramel meringue

He gets to battle w the sugar and candy thermometer

You lay out all the ingredients and measure everything out before hand to keep it easy

Halfway through the process Atsumu walks in

“Ya know, I could help ya guys out if ya need. This looks pretty easy.” 

“Shut up idiot ya can’t even make a PB&J without the fire department showin up”

Ofc they start arguing and you have to intervene before Osamu burns the caramel

Atsumu leaves on the condition that he gets a macaron when they’re done

Other than that small event the process is seamless

During the 2 hour dry time Osamu makes some onigiris for a easy dinner

Cuddles and onigiris w Osamu 🍙🥺🥰>>

His piping skills are pretty good if not better than yours 

Mans got steady hands 

You guys ended up making a lot of them so you saved enough for the team to each get one

Atsumu returns to claim his macaron and starts a fight w Osamu

You get a video and send it to Suna for his blackmail album

After that you just grab the platter of cookies and escape before the twins accidentally ruin them

50/10 quality time w ‘Samu 😌✨😘

Atsumu

When you tell him what you’re gonna be doing this weekend he jumps at the chance for some quality time w you

Really wants to help but also cannot be trusted w out supervision

Macarons require a lot of focus and multitasking so he helps but also stays out of your way

He’s totally down to just vibe and be in the same room as you

You ask about his latest game and just watch him light up 

Gets really into the story and accidentally knocks the bag of powdered sugar off the counter

“And then they spiked it over but Suna got a one touch so it went really high so I ran to get under it and-- shit” 😐

His ninja reflexes catch it before it hits the ground but it still puffs right in his face

You laugh when he starts coughing out clouds of powdered sugar

Get this boy a glass of water before he dies plz

Once he stops coughing he laughs along with you and then gets back into his story

Listening to him talk abt volleyball is therapeutic prove me wrong 😌

He hugs you from behind while you stand at the mixer and just watches you work

Steals some kisses cuz he claims he’s deprived 

“I love ya babe, ya know that?”

“I love you too ‘Tsumu” 🥺🥺

He gives you the biggest smile at that

You give him some of the batter to try out piping when he asks to help

Little messy at first but gets the hang of it pretty quick

Pretty setter hands 🙌 ✨

You make a little fox one for him and it’s super cute 🦊

Watches a movie w you while the cookies dry 

Neither of you actually watch the movie 😉

Helps make the filling cuz its easy 

He definitely turns the mixer on too fast and gets powdered sugar in his hair

Gives you an excuse to touch his hair tho so that's a win

Now that he’s a Piping Master he helps fill the cookies 

Takes pics of the cookies and brags to Osamu abt you cuz he’s a little shit

Saves some for his friends cuz ur gifts have to be shared w the world

10/10 I love Atsumu’s vibe 🥰😉😌

A/N: I had fun writing this and I hope everyone enjoys it! If anyone wants a part 3 w any specific characters plz send a request my way!

Once again each of you is amazing and beautiful and should go drink water 😌✨✨

[phoenixyfriend]

I am seized by a fatal need for courtroom ninja drama fic

But not serious courtroom drama. I'm talking Phoenix Wright style Nonsense.

(Some of this was provided by the folks over in @sloaners​‘ server, but the bulk of it was me spitballing nonsense at people who actually know the games, which I do not. I do paraphrase a few times to make it more feasible as a tumblr post/fic concept, rather than a rapidfire text conversation.)

Or one of those like. Reality TV paternity test things? But specifically in my mind the people involved in the actual paternity are a married couple and someone that joined them to be their third, and Clan Elders are throwing a fit about how the baby might not be the heir by blood! while the actual parents are like "I could not care less, this is our child, all three of us, please stop getting involved."

HashiMitoMada would be a VERY good option for the paternity nonsense, mostly because I can see Madara screeching at his own elders about how he already said Izuna would be his heir and he's not changing his mind!

Tobirama is just begging the paternity test to work faster off-screen because he's the only person with the machines to make it happen.

(Hashirama is just. Moping in a corner.)

"I just had to INVENT a paternity test that works before the birth! I had to figure out how to test amniotic fluid! If you assholes make me do something this stupid on such short notice again, I will be digging some shallow graves!" "...for who?" "I haven't decided yet."

Anyway, jumping back to like a Phoenix Wright-style murder investigation.

The victim was Danzo. Even the prosecution isn't actually that interested in making sure someone gets arrested, but they're legally obligated to do at least try. A bunch of people all acting really suspicious about who killed him. There is at least one shitty fake mustache-on-glasses disguise to provide a paper-thin alibi.

WAIT The other thing this gives us is ninjas in three-piece-suits but half of them wear the suits wrong. I’m talking mismatched buttons. The wrong way of tying their tie. Sewn-on-cufflinks. This is Naruto, for instance.

Tobirama would wear it properly, except he's rushing about in a lab coat, screaming at everyone to get out of his way because he's The Entire Forensics Team.

(This is the part where I have to confess that I have only seen the live-action movie of Phoenix Wright, as I don't game, so I just have the live action and tumblr osmosis.)

At this point, of course, we gotta ask: Who is the most Belligerent Witness And who is the Helpful™️ Witness that's super enthusiastic but entirely useless

I can see, say, Mito being a solid witness that both defense and prosecution are really thankful for.

Modern gen you have like... Sasuke and Neji are both incredibly belligerent witnesses. Neji at least is polite about it but pulls the "only answers with the absolute minimum of information."

Lee and Gai would have the over enthusiasm but forget to say actual vital testimony until pressed, and Naruto would love to help but might not be entirely sure what the case even is.

Shikamaru falls asleep when the lawyers consult their partners. Prosecution A consults Prosecution B for thirty-seven seconds, then turns around and the witness is asleep at the stand.

Tobi (as in Obito with mask) is an incredibly frustrating witness. They have to declare a recess just so all the lawyers can recover their blood pressure. "Can we please get someone up on the stand with this guy as a handler? I'm--I'm going to explode."

Gaara: Helpful. Polite. Answers with detail. Answers the spirit of the question as well as the letter. Includes more detail. That's too much detail. Gaara please stop telling us about the sounds that bones make.

His testimony just drags on forever.

Ninken can and will take the stand! Pakkun even enjoys it! Some ninken require translators.

ABURAME TRANSLATING FOR A RANDOM GIANT CENTIPEDE THAT WITNESSED A MURDER IN THE FOREST OF DEATH

There are arguments about whether or not the testimony can count since nobody else can confirm the translation except Other Aburame so how do they know the Aburame aren't part of the coverup.

"Okay, so this Danzo guy had like fifty shell companies but I think I found the route that leads back to him?" "Nah, that one goes to a guy that died eighty years ago that's still collecting pensions: his family lied and said he was still alive for the money." "Fuck!"

Also I just. I love the idea of Sasuke and Madara being the exact opposite kind of belligerent witness.

Also, Orochimaru answers with pretty much the exact kind of wording as Gaara, but where Gaara is trying to be helpful and provide detail for the sake of the case, and failing to see that it's maybe not necessary, Orochimaru just wants to see people squirm. ...similar thing happens with Sakura and Kabuto. Similar phrasing, very different energy.

I keep picturing all of Team Taka as part of Forensics and Evidence Collecting ajshakshjd

Juugo, holding up a rabbit: I found a witness.

Karin joins forensics and Tobirama nearly weeps from joy until he finds her criminal record "Shit, that was supposed to get thrown out when I turned eighteen."

Tobirama: I asked for an assistant, not a criminal. Karin: I'm on parole. Tobirama: That makes things worse. Karin: I know how to use a [concerningly advanced machine that I, a business major, cannot name]. Tobirama: ...never mind, I'm keeping you.

Karin: I know how to DNA sequence AND use LA-ICP-MS Tobirama: [weeps with joy]

Suigetsu would be great at blood splatter analysis. ...I think I read somewhere that blood spatter analysis is actually over in 'fake science that's pushed by cops and media but actually doesn't work' BUT apparently it’s in the Ace Attorney games so we’re going to ignore reality a bit. We’ve already got dogs and rabbits and centipedes as witnesses, what’s a bit of blood spatter?

He's also probably really good at cause of death stuff? Like looking at corpse and figuring out how long it took the victim to die, which blow did it, whether any damage was inflicted post-mortem, etc.

Sasuke is usually too busy playing Belligerent Witness but sometimes goes to join Taka for... uh... reasons.

Juugo: [takes the stand] Lawyer: Hey, uh, why's that Uchiha guy with him? The witness-- Judge: No, no, we need Uchiha Sasuke on hand when questioning Expert Animal Handler Juugo. Lawyer: ...why? Judge: Property damage.

(Sasuke as a work partner with Juugo, also moonlighting as a witness/suspect in Danzo's murder.)

One time they need Juugo but can't find him even though court is already in session and he said he'd be here, turns out he was lured away by Kakashi's army of dogs. Kakashi didn't notice until he turned to ask Pakkun if he could help find the missing expert.

Juugo is a decent lab assistant, I think?

Anyway.

Tobirama taking on Team Taka as his forensics team while Orochimaru is... hm... traveling the country to promote his new autobiography, which is outselling the newest Icha Icha to Jiraiya's ire.

Sloane suggested “a case where it's all the Sannin as suspects in a murder. They would be THE WORST, say... the murder of Hanzo.”

To which I suggested “The Sannin are all suspects but the people on trial are the Ame trio, maybe?”

Which garnered the response of “It could be a surprise upset IN COURT that the trio should be on trial.”

We love a court upset.

Suigetsu finds out that the cause of death was actually an entirely natural heart attack, but while he was determining this, the rest of the team and the lawyers found like eight conspiracies by Zetsu, three by Danzo, four by Orochimaru, and an entire network of nonsense by Sasori.

INO IS THE PSYCHIC. I know her thing in canon is reading minds but pls. Ino is Maya. The Spirit Medium.

Is the judge: 1. Hiruzen 2. Hashirama 3. Hagoromo 4. Mifune 5. The Daimyou

(Old dude with authority, optionally easily distracted/questionably competent. I'd have gone for impressive facial hair but only Mifune and Hagoromo have more than like... Hiruzen's weird soul patch.)

It's not a soul patch but I don't know what facial hair is called and I can't just call it a goat beard

Response commentary was as follows: The Daimyou would unfortunately be closer to the personality of the ace attorney judge, more blindly agreeing with things that sound good :joy: Hiruzen could be fun if only for the competing facial hair for a beard, yes xD Hagoromo would possibly be most buckwild tho WELCOME TO MOON COURT

I managed to get this far with like... NO idea who the judges were except “IDK maybe Kakashi?” but consider:

...HashiMada rival lawyers

Dropping over to Izuna vs. Touka for when Hashirama and Madara inevitably become suspects of something or other themselves and have to be witnesses.

(Tobirama's too busy running blood tests, Anija, let Touka handle it, she's better at people anyway.)

...Hashirama is like. Marginally more put-together than Madara, right? So that... makes him Edgeworth... somehow... That feels wrong but Madara as Edgeworth feels even more wrong.

Madara is very into screaming OBJECTION

ALSO consider: Friction when a doctor from a nearby hospital gets called in to provide expert testimony on something because Karin is like "no hey I should be the one doing this" and then she sees how cute Sakura is.

But also at some point Kakashi vs. Gai for a nonsense case. Their personalities are both VERY FUN for this sort of thing.

[queenlua]

hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.�� see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing

[the-acid-pear]

I just can't get enough it seems, time to start the next Baki the Grappler book!

It seems that this one will take on the saga i saw on the anime (at least by the end) so that's exciting

Chapter 1

First off quality is SHIT lmao

Yesss i remember this. I still think that shit about everyone trembling is a lil... Mmmm bullshit.

Baki be like <:] but in a smug way

Look at Tokugawa my man

OH RIGHT HE LEFT THE TOURNAMENT WITH A CAST

This feels so random

Oh right the synchronicity shit

Baki is so -_- in this manga

Look at the old timer go

YEAH FR TOKUGAWA JUST BROUGHT EXPLOSIVES TO A SCHOOL FULL OF CHILDREN TO MAKE A SHITTY ANALOGY SHSHWKWGGE FREAK OLD MAN

Chapter 2

Ahegao

Epic grandpa

HO NICE

Mf really swam thru the Pacific ocean

Chapter 3

Huh i thought he was Scottish

This random guy was pretty interesting looking, the one executing Doyle

Fucked up shit how they still do this stuff

King, i can somehow still remember his voice in particular fsr

Also since no one reads this i will say it: Doyle does NOT look white ahagdbafhsdbc

I like that he didn't bother killing the doctor

Is that Strydum? 🥺👉👈

Chapter 4

Shagddjd i was going to say that, this dude could have easily taken a different path from violence

GAARN? MY MAN? MY BELOVED GARLAND? IS HE ALIVE STILL?!

FFS NOT FOR LONG HHH LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY...

I mean it's fair, Sirkosky uses weapons, but man, Garland... :'/

This all hits so different once you know the characters :]]]

Chapter 5

That pic is still so brutal

What an absolute troll shsshwgxgd

Also fun fact when i watched the anime i didn't pay much attention at first so I assumed the Russian was Spec (i didn't even know Sirkosky's name)

I love how that was unnecessary shagdhsr

ADAGDFAGAFAD this guy was also great

Spec was fucking insane man aggsggahsfg

I love he's full of tattoos

The absolutely king

OH RIGHT Spec is sus *laugh track*

Chapter 6

Oh hell yeah, grandpa's ex

Baki tf you doing there in the cover you madlad

...bottom storage.

THEY ARE SO MEAN LEAVE HIS SHORT ASS ALONE SHSGJSGS

He's my size btw

Was there a motive for him to be naked or was he just a freak btw?

I love the shape of his eyes ngl

I love how scared the guards are while he just calmly rambles

I don't wanna call yanagi my grandpa because i think yanagi can get it and it would be like calling him daddy but the Gilf™ is Dorian man life is so hard when you are me

I love Yanagi's face lol he's handsome

Chapter 7

Poor Baki lmao he just got better from the maximum tournament and now this

Lmao Baki has a point

Unnecessary, Doyle

Chapter 8

I love how they were recruiting dangerous mfs to beat up this random guy bc his vibes are fucked up

This guy looked a lot like jack

You gotta be brave to shove a knife that sharp into your pants

I love how Baki literally did nothing to em

Baki's face just looks wrong this isn't my beloved child

Imagine you are about to fight this mf and he just shoves his hand inside his pants

Chapter 9

This dude really looks like, fully japanese jack hanma

JWGWKEGWKSGE I LOVE HIM

I love how Spec just showed up dressed up as a fucking monk or something

Chapter 10

You guys know, Dorian reminds me of my now dead great grandfather, with the moustache look even more.

Not impressed, 15 yo Hanayama did the same when throwing a tantrum

He's so insane i luv him

Okay but look at the cut of that outfit look at how well it hugs his chest and waist but flows bellow... Spec my dude you could have been a mad good model 😐 he's even giving me gender envy! 🥺

I love how Baki used both his hands for the handshake

Chapter 11

Ho, speak of the devil, i was just talking of this fucker with Blood

Mf got so old

I like how there was no motive for him to be naked he literally is just Like That

Also it's from here that he got that wasp waist lmao

Mf just flexing at this point lmao

GRANDPA!! <3

Yanagi got cake

That's so unnecessary rude, obsessed. Also, as if you weren't old Yanagi. I see why they broke up now ;/

Chapter 12

11 and 12 are the same fsr

Chapter 13

I honestly wonder where these prisoners got their clothes, like, aside from Doyle that one time everyone else is never shown shopping or even owning money

Also i love the fact that on a daily basis i dress the same as Spec, that definitely says something bout me jagsjsgwhwfwg 😭

To be honest, considering the size of Spec's body, they should definitely feed him more

He didn't wash his hands 😢

Dick and balls too strong ajgshsgsg

I love how fucking, polite he is.

Oh i see, i thought he might have stolen a wallet or something but nah

Btw i genuinely don't remember shit JAGSKSGWJGS even if it watched the anime i forgot most of this

Chapter 14

GOD the way the anime butchered Katsumi, he's so handsome in the manga in comparison 😐

Also i like how they aren't explaining this like, Katsumi was the one who lost, did he wait until Retsu was okay to fight again in HIS ("") dojo?!

RETSU STOP DOING THESE SORT OF TRICKS THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE AJDGSJSG

HE'S JUST BUILT DIFFERENT

Okay he actually explained, oddly nice of Retsu to accept tho

Hoho this scene hits different now that i know and like Katsumi

Also I'm not even gonna question where Doppo is, dude is never just around skdgksgd

Chapter 15

I love this genre of cover

WHITE BOY SJDGSJGSHS-

I love that retsu is just watching, he's still an asshole QJGSJSGWH

If i didn't know Katsumi I would say he died

I did actually think he had died when watching the anime

Retsu still has his thicc ass i see

Chapter 16

See all this makes sense now that i know retsu and the shit he has seen and been thru!

Angry lad, lucky his hair didn't burn

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HE EXTINGUISHED THE FIRE WITH HIS SCREAM

Chapter 17

Ahegao in the cover

I'm looking at the pages and I'm obsessed with Doppo being described as a "bold, badass karate master", it's so accurate <3

Also Igari being called eccentric, and the mention he defeated Mount Toba!! <3

Baki is slowly looking more like Baki

"my mother is dying"

Tasks keep failing successfully

Chapter 18

mAh boy...

That happens and it's the worst

Musashi you good boy 🥺

Chapter 19

Igari <33

That's insane

Chapter 20

I love that Igari looks legitimately worried and sad, not sweating tho

I love how he didn't have any serious damage until the punches like, okay.

Poor Igari tho

DID HE CHEW EM OFF OR SOMETHING? SHSHWGEGCH

Was anybody going to tell me is Sikorsky and not Sirkosky?

Also i love how legitimately scared Tokugawa is, probably more than when Yujiro picked him up

Chapter 21

The heights are so off in this saga

Oh my fucking god i didn't know Spec was 221

Either heights are all over the place or Yanagi is not 160

Either way HOW CAN YOU BE THAT SMALL? 🤣

GAFSFWEAD Tokugawa like "i own this place 😐"

Doyle is still the most decent one of the bunch

URSURSUTSUSTSRU

LOOK AT YANAGI DORIAN AND SIKORSKY ALREADY GETTING THEIR HANDS READY SBDGSHW

I googled how big Andreas from the tournament was and like, 2.40 😦

LET'S GOOOOO EVEN WITH A BEARD OMFG 😳😳😳

I see Hanayama descended into alcoholism after losing in the tournament. Also tf is with that bag? Was he hiking or something?

Jsgsjsgd Shibukawa is so excited too

I think this is chronically the first time Doppo appears with fully casual clothes, usually he either was in a suit or in his karate uniform

I'm straight up simping to the public now sgsjsgwhw

Chapter 22

LOOK AT THESE DUDES..... 💞

FUCK I WAS GONNA SAY THERE WERE MORE BAD THAN GOOD GUYS THEN LOOKED DOWN AND REALIZED THAT NO, SHIBUKAWA WAS JUST NEARLY OUT OF FRAME 😭

They all look so upset about that information

SIKORSKY NAME GOT SPELLED AS SILCOSKI...

Looking at them drives me insane i developed such a bond with all these fighters

I haven't seen Doppo this excited since last time his wife showed up

BAKI SWEARING?! 😰

How did Tokugawa grab Baki's shoulder?

ALSO WHY TF IS BAKI SO SURPRISED AS IF HE DIDNT GO AROUND BEATING UP PEOPLE WHEN HE WAS 13...

Don't worry Baki y'all will, Tokyo is not that big it seems

Shibukawa swearing 😨

"Imagine being mid but and Spec pulls up on you" "imagine having sex and she takes the mask and it's fucking Spec"

To be fair i would fuck a 2.21 muscular lady without going "hmmm this doesn't seem like a good idea..." in any moment

Chapter 23

I love how Dorian is just looking up

ACTUALLY ALL THEIR STANCES, Yanagi making dead eye contact with Gouki, Sikorsky with a firm pose just as Hanayama, Doyle with hiss chest up but eyes down giving a sense of pride, and, well, then there's Spec being Spec.

I like seeing Sikorsky having fun

I love Spec he played so smart SGSGSGS

😳 love wins!

Oh i had already forgotten about the dojo

Old man Dorian just has that effect on people

Threesome i see /j

He really was just fucking hiking i would love if they ever explained that ough 🥺

Did his facial hair just disappear?? STSGSFSD

BWHEKEGWJG THEY REALLY JUST FORGOT TO ADD IT FOR ONE PANEL IM OBSESSED

Such a good kick tho

The relationship these men can have is so oddly nice like not Doppo and Retsu specifically but all of the fighters in general. Like many of them barely know each other, but they all know their fighting styles and respect each other, plus have no reason to be in bad terms with one another and specially not now that they are all fighting for the same cause. It's just so nice to see em idk JAGSHS

Hey Igari.

Chapter 24

Thank God Doppo went <3 again it had been so long

Babe are you okay? You hadn't put a lil heart in your speech bubble for a while...

King really punched the fire

I will chose to believe that's true bc it's impressive 😍

You know it's funny like, Katsumi is mad good but he doesn't has as much experience as his dad and that leaves him in disvantage

Hehe i remember that guy

The manga is so much better than the anime ffs

I love that he didn't even realize

Chapter 25

Manga i don't think that's science

Also Baki just chilling with some doves lmao

I'm looking thru old messages see how my og reaction to this was

Huh i found nothing, that's odd. Well my reaction would have probably been like NOOOOO anyway so, y'all can imagine it

You left my dilf handless you fucking asshole good thing he has a wife

Imagine this dude cuts your hand and then just flexes his knowledge about science or whatever

HSSGGSFS THEY FIXED THE NO BEARD ERROR

Illiterate king <3

A guy did this to me once btw!!! Obviously in way smaller scale but he just touched something and the bleeding soon stopped!!!!

Honestly that's the most huge dick energy thing Doppo has ever done

Pfff I'm starting to remember why i liked Doppo so much 🥴

Bitches confused over him running away, tf was he supposed to do? He played it smart since there are no rules

Though yeah an eye and NOW a hand, insane

Chapter 26

Sjshhdhsn tanuki?

Oh, fox, he was calling him slick

Manga is pretty faster than the anime

Chapter 27

Where's your honor, Igari...

He is right sadly enough 😔

Oh i keep forgetting Igari's nature, he was probably trying to pull his silly little tricks again

This is just brutal honestly

Hehe this time i didn't get scared ☺️

I like that at least I'm not the only one who needs their mind off the gutter

Chapter 28

Love seeing em datin <3

He's so aggressive accidentally i love these dorks sm 😍🥺💞

SPEC FFS SJGDHWGW

Chapter 29

SPEC FOR FUCKS SAKE SJSVSJWGSH

Hanayama is such a real bro man

I LOVE THAT HE WAS JUST STALKING BAKI TOO BTW SJDGJDGDHSBDGDGS

To think i will still love hanayama but for entirely different reasons 😌

Chapter 30

Kaoru looks different but idk how

What the fuck is Spec even saying?

The fact that that makes no sense, i still love it a lot tho.

ALSO I ADORE HOW QUIET HANAYAMA IS WHEN FIGHTING

Okay Spec really has a point it really is beautiful

GOD I'M STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THESE CHARACTERS TOO MUCH I NEED HELP AJDGSJSGSHS 😭

But it's beautiful in the sense like, look how built he is! Look at all those scars!!! It IS beautiful it's a masterpiece!!!!!!!

"i choose to believe this is how hanayama always undresses" KSHSKDGSJ THE AMOUNT OF SUITS THIS MAN DESTROYS.. OBSESSED

Though yeah Hanayama in general is also beautiful isn't he?

Chapter 31

I would sob man look at him. Look at Shiba.

NO ONE RISKS HIS LIFE MORE THAN SHIBA YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I STILL HOLD A LOT OF RESPECT FOR HIM!

A BENCH...

I really don't get why he's letting himself get hit, is he just flexing?

I cannot way to see him do his Technique ™

Chapter 32

Manga is so much superior to the anime, like, i haven't complained about Spec even once bc he isn't annoying anyone, in the anime he was so infuriating!!

I love when they just steal their standing poses sjsgjssgsh

That distortion effect so good

Chapter 33

I still think it's weird they used humans and not machines, though it was effective

I love how Spec managed to punch that statue without calling the attention of much people that's impressive

And i love that he keeps saying man he sounds like me with bro

Hanayama my beloved

Chapter 34

Yeah I'm not reading all that 😐

Oh this explains the holes in his clothes

[jemej3m]

Right but what if in married to the enemy non of them recognize Neil and just think of him as Andrews husband which leads to increasingly comedic Dramatic Irony(TM) scenes like Neil would be stopping by to drop something and some perp is like “hey isn’t that nath-“ *cue Andrew ‘accidentally’ shoving him* like idk I know you’re done with that fic but I just read it and I can’t stop thinking about how funny that would be

bruh

stop bringing things back from the dead yall

(FINALLY some WRITING and not just asks - im so sorry ive been starving you all)

*

“Andrew!” Detective Jeremy Knox bounced on the balls of his feet. “I’m so thrilled to have you here. Kevin Day has spoken...” his smile nearly slipped. “Highly! Of you.”

“Here’s the file,” Andrew grunted, dropping the thick yellow slip onto the detective’s desk. “You need to get rid of them before they settle in. Once they’ve grown roots you’ll never get rid of them till they decide to move again.”

“I know,” Jeremy said, voice slightly hushed. “We’ll bring justice to your Baltimore victims. This won’t be swept under the rug.”

Andrew just stared at the file. He’d worked on that ring for three years now, but they’d upped and vanished. When they’d reappeared in Captain Rhenmann’ s New York precinct, Kevin had booted him up there to get a resolution.

It also, coincidently, was the exact week Neil was due up in New York to finalise his ‘retirement’. Andrew may or may not have arranged for him to be in New York for Neil’s support whilst he finally wriggled out of the Moriyama’s grasp.

Finally, after a decade and a half together, Neil would be free. Baltimore would no longer require a Butcher to instil terror. Neil had worked hard to free their city from Ichirou Moriyama’s grasp, buying both himself and his jurisdiction out of internment.

And once Neil was free, they could finally bring down the Moriyamas. Together.

Andrew wasn’t in a rush. Slow and steady always won the race: he would bring down the criminal empire that had trapped his husband for so long and marred his skin and mind with memories of terror and injustice. And he would enjoy it.

“Would you like to have lunch with us?” Knox gestured to the two women, standing close enough to eavesdrop but pretending they weren’t. They were married, Andrew guessed. It was pretty obvious. “We were just about to head out. There’s a hidden bodega near the the station with pastrami that’s to die for.”

Andrew checked his phone. No messages from Neil, as of yet. He’d text when he was on his way back to the hotel, and there was no use in Andrew hanging around and anxious awaiting his arrival. He’d convince himself that the Moriyamas had finally put a bullet through Neil’s forehead and go rampaging.

“Fine,” he grunted, shoving the phone back into his pocket.

Detective Sunshine just beamed.

*

“Day mentioned you were married,” Alvarez said, swallowing a mouthful of sub. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

Andrew arched his eyebrow, unimpressed. She rolled her eyes.

“You’ve got him as your home screen. It’s not hard to guess. You out at your precinct?” Andrew nodded. “Yeah, so are we.”

“If we didn’t have Captain Rhenmann, I’m sure it’d be a lot more stressful.” Laila added, rubbing her wife’s shoulder. “He speaks very highly of your captain, you know. I think they worked together with the old NYPD commissioner. Kayleigh Day.”

Yes, Kevin’s mother. The one who was murdered twenty years ago. A riveting case. Still unsolved. Neil was pretty sure it was his father who’d been assigned to her removal. Not that Andrew would ever discuss this aloud.

“I heard she was one hell of a woman,” Knox added. “If her son’s anything to go off, I can see why.”

“Stop gushing about Kevin,” Alvarez chided.

“Don’t worry,” Andrew grunted. “Kevin’s undoubtedly worse.”

The three of them laughed. They ate in companionable silence, Knox and Alvarez occasionally jostling each other or gossiping about names Andrew didn’t know. It was nearing 2 o’clock in the afternoon when the detective’s phone buzzed: he leaned over, checked who it was from and immediately scrambled to pick it up.

Knox squinted at the message and shot the three of them an apologetic look. “My bad. I’ve gotta make a call. I’ll meet y’all back at the station?”

He left without an answer, phone raised to his ear.

“He’s a parole officer for a very specific case,” Alvarez explained. Laila was frowning. “A difficult one, at that.”

“Seems a little more involved than a parole officer usually is,” Andrew noted.

“Yes, well,” Laila huffed. “Jeremy likes to care.”

Andrew got a text of his own. Coming back now.

He bid the women goodbye with a salute and bought a sandwich for Neil: he was unlikely to have already fed himself, too stressed and paranoid to bother thinking about food. He always came back from New York weak and underfed.

When Andrew arrived back to their hotel room, Neil was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. His shirt was untucked and tie loosened, but he hadn’t even bothered to take his shoes off or put away the briefcase of paperwork and knives.

Andrew put the food aside for later and sat by his husband, toeing off his shoes so he could cross his legs on the bed.

When Neil didn’t talk, he leaned over and turned on the television. A random afternoon sitcom filled the room with white noise, bringing Neil out of his glacial stare. Finally, his eyes flit over to Andrew, aware but still hollow.

Andrew reached out to undo Neil’s cuffs but waited for him to deposit his wrist in Andrew’s palm. He got to work, unbuttoning the sleeves, pulling off the tie and throwing the shoes over to the door. The dress shirt was wriggled off, leaving him in just a white undershirt, and draped across the chair to be steam-ironed in the morning. Neil wormed out of his slacks, too, letting Andrew fold them and put them away.

Andrew made him a cup of decaf instant coffee and brought out the sandwich. Neil looked at both of them balefully but sat up anyway, getting through the whole coffee and only half the sandwich.

Andrew waited, sitting behind him. When he was finished he laid back down, putting his head in Andrew’s lap.

“Thank you,” he mumbled.

Andrew just hummed, combing his fingers through Neil’s hair.

*

The end of the week came quickly. Andrew worked the case with Knox and eventually decided that the case would be in good hands. Every evening he’d come back to find Neil just as exhausted and spaced out and hold him together with soft hands and silent reassurance. Neil soldiered on.

Andrew didn’t know what he was negotiating, why it was taking so long or whether or not this would actually work. All he could hope for was that Neil would be a free man by the end of the week and that they could go home without worrying he’d be called back or killed.

Andrew got his answer on Friday evening. He bid the affectionately named ‘Dyke Detectives’ and their captain goodbye, knowing Knox had briefly left the building for an errand and assuming that they’d pass on his thanks.

He exited the front doors of the precinct and nearly stumbled into his husband, standing in jeans and a hoodie with a blinding grin. Andrew never forgot how gorgeous Neil was, but the ease of his posture and the genuine smile had something go soft inside his chest.

He ignored all the beat cops standing around the doors and pressed a kiss to Neil’s smile, which only had him smile more.

“It’s done,” Neil murmured, holding Andrew’s wrist. “I’m free. We’re free.’’

“Took you long enough.”

Neil shrugged. “Had to barter for Allison, too. I know Renee wants to make it official.”

“Only a decade later,” Andrew agreed. Of course Neil hadn’t been fighting tooth and nail for himself: he’d do anything for those he loved.

“Holy shit,” came an unfamiliar voice. They both turned around, spotting a willowing man standing next to Detective Knox. His pale complexion had turned translucent, all the blood draining out of his cheeks. Neil’s eyes flashed with recognition. “Nathaniel—?”

“It’s Neil,” Neil said, still smiling. “Hello, Jean. Good to see you were cleared. Did they find Riko’s actual killer?”

The man did not look any less uncomfortable. “They ruled it a suicide.”

“Ah, shame. Maybe some more evidence will come to light, later.” He offered his hand to Andrew. “Shall we?”

It would be a long drive to Baltimore but at the other end was home, two cats and freedom.

Andrew, older, wiser, calmer, happier, took Neil’s hand.

“We shall.”

*

[generallybarzy]

1 Year

January 22nd, 2020. That was the date it all started.

Now, it’s been a year. 

(Sorry, you don't get a read more, this is too important)

I started this blog last year, after attending a local hockey game that we get to see every year and realizing how much more I was into it than my other friends there. I went home, logged onto my other tumblr account, and started looking through random hockey tags from my [redacted] blog (y'all don't gotta know the fandoms I was into haha). For a week or so, I lurked. I saw bits and pieces of the all star game, of some of the games that were being played, but I was too scared to interact with anyone because I was joining the community so "late". I wasn't late to anything, its not like hockey is a new thing or something with a time limit, but it felt like I was behind. I wasn't a lifelong fan like some people I saw post about it, I didn't even understand what people were talking about. But I saw the game, eventually saw the cute players everyone loves, and got excited. I finally decided to make this blog, wanting to make some new friends in the hockey community. I kinda floated around hockeyblr for a while, rebloggong a few things quietly but not interacting too much because i didn't feel like i could, until my school closed down in March. After that, I turned to writing- specifically for barzy, who I had just learned about on this site. And with that writing, that very first fic that I tagged bigger writers in, trying to get some recognition, I started to gain followers. And friends.

Since i started, my followers on here have traveled with me through life. Literally. I got my drivers license, i embarrassed myself with that guy at the beach, got my first job, started (and hopefully soon finished) my senior year of highschool, and got accepted into my dream college. I didn't have online friends before this, so when I stopped be able to see my irl friends irl, you guys became just as necessary as them. We've been through highs and lows together, both irl, personally, and in this community, but honestly, i still love it here. I couldn’t be more thankful for all of you, the old and the new.  I genuinely wouldn’t have been able to get through the past year if it weren’t for this place. 

I have a whole appreciation post but some of the people who either ARE constantly in my messages or had been in the past but we haven't talked in a bit, all of these people helped me along the way. @matbaerzal (one of the very first writers who followed me on here, wow. The 10th person out of 1000 to follow me. I adore all of your stuff and look up to you so much) , @mbarzals (I think I convinced you to post your first fic, and I wrote all of Opportunities just for you, but we haven't really talked a lot in a while), @thirteenisles (mom! Helping me out a bunch, especially when I was way smaller on here and didn't have many friends, and we haven't talked in a bit and I'm so sorry), @d-cozens (has always been a solid reader, I remember you under a different user haha I've been seeing you in my notifications for the longest time), @fallinallincurls (we always talk the best concepts!!!!! I always come to you about fics!!!! In the long run, we just started talking a bit ago but you're like the sweetest person ever and I'm so happy we're moots), @softboybarzal (I can't even begin to describe how much you've helped. I'm serious. Thank you so much. Not to mention the amazing things we talk about, always making me so soft), @folkloreflyers (tk and nolan, we have the matching jerseys what can I say. We also come up with some of the best ideas), @barzzal (I deadass look up to you so much, your theme and content is god tier thank you for helping me with my header. I hope we can talk more smt), @dembenchboys (omg baby. Baby. Your messages mean so much to me and I literally light up whenever I see them. We literally don't deserve you. You're too pure and amazing for this world. An angel. I think I've forget to respond to you a few times and I feel so bad but I love you so much don't forget it!!!!!!), @canadianheaters (why do we always have the strangest conversations like idk what here but there's some cursed energy baaagghschhd anyway we come up with the best shit together like monkey suit mat), 🥔 anon, 💙 anon, 😌 anon, 🖤 anon, BLUE SHORTS ANON (I REMEMBER YOU WHERE ARE YOU) and all you other lovely followers i have who have been so supportive over the past year 💕💕💕

Now that all that sappy stuff is out of the way, here's what we'll be doing today to celebrate!

Send in your stories on how you came to find my blog and what made you stay!! Or just any stories you have about here

Request little hcs not about mat and s/o in scenarios but about small things like "does mat like coffee or tea?" or about what cute habits he might have. I feel like we don't discuss about my hc version of him enough

Also, respond to other anons and send your own hcs!!!!

The final thing is that I will be taking requests for short, personalized blurbs where you send me a prompt, a name, and stuff about yourself and I write YOU and mat instead of reader and mat.. I'll make another post about it when I'm ready to do those, probably around 2pm est.

Once again, lemme just drill it into your heads how happy I am to have all you guys, and how proud I am of where this blog has come to in a year. I couldn't have done it without any of you.💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[thatnamelessbutler]

(OoC: So, what's the AU thing about?)

((ooc: Okay so basically I got an idea form a song completely unrelated to the fandom and long story short, Bi n Bu are no longer able to escape from the Egg except through a very specific method, and then Karl comes back along and bippity boppity your body is now our property!

So, yeah. Body-swap AU except Karl kinda dies because to get the swap to work everyone's body had to die. Karl's gets healed afterwards through magical time shenanigans-

So Billiam and Rune(Bu's new name in this AU) wake up in the library, in our current DSMP present, in the weird body of this weird guy who's apparently a weird color-shapeshifter.(yeah, i'm going with the cryptid creature Karl for this one because. it's cool as heck and I never see this anywhere)

a little while after they wake up in the present, karl wakes up after being dormant because he literally died and it's like "HEY WAIT WHAT THE HECK YOU STOLE MY BODY" and everyone else goes "shit shit shit shit"

p.s if you're wondering where hubert is he's dead. the egg killed nearly everyone except billiam and butler because bi is its main caretaker and bu will never leave his side

(more under the cut please there's so much and i actually love this au so much)

Now I'm not a system but I imagine these four(yes, four; Billiam, Rune, Piam(Billiam's Piglin side), and Tune(Bu's Other) operate kind of like one. They have an innerworld and everything, they aren't just all constantly crammed into the front. That would get confusing, stressful and difficult to manage overall. Bu's usually the one fronting because no one else wants to; Billiam doesn't wanna do it because he doesn't wanna mingle with the "poor", Tune doesn't wanna do it because it always gets tripped up with literally everything about the body, it's not even dangerous enough to protect now, and Piam doesn't wanna do it because he's kind of scared of the Overworld someone that doesn't know how to be a Human Person

Oh yeah and I've also talked about all this and more with my bestie so here's a copy-paste of that conversation-

I think an encounter with Sapnap and/or Quackity would go terribly too, until they sit down and explain things as best they can wait no actually "So basically, we killed your fiancée so we could inhabit his body and escape from a really bad situation. sorry" Acid Sapanap would go feral and I can't even begin to conceive what extremely destructive thoughts Quackoty would start having Me MHM Sapnap probably pulls a sword on them and they automatically reach for their own before remembering "Oh shit, we don't have it. OH SHIT-" and then they just gotta r u n Butler's trying desperately to teleport but without a pearl, eeeeeh that's not gonna do anything buddy I'm not sure if Karl has armor in his inventory or not but either way they wouldn't have the time or coordination to equip it Acid they just immediately die it'd be so funny Me "NOT AGAIN, WE JUST GOT FREE- death" Now lets hope either Karl has some extra canon lives, or those lives Billiam bought carry over Acid PFFFFT, BILLIAM'S LIVES GET CARRIED WITH THEM AND IT'S JUST revives ok listen we don't gotta dies revives please let's just dies revives why do you do t dies revives this is just gonna last forever isn't it? dies rev- Me wheeze YEAH "GET OUT OF KARL'S BODY!" "We can't!! It's already been done!! dies" "WHY WON'T YOU DIE!!?" "We are!!??" ohhh, bonus angst points if every time they die, Butler goes a little more dormant- Butler was only meant to have one life, he never got any Totems and his soul cannot take this in the way Billiam's can After about 15 deaths, Billiam gets Sapnap to stop for about five seconds, and in those five seconds he realizes that he can no longer hear or feel Butler Acid oh god Me If he manages to get far enough away and find someplace to hide(perhaps the library again), he dips into the headspace and finds Butler just gone. He looks around for a while and finds them far away from where they were, collapsed on the ground, flickering slightly, and entirely unresponsive. And no matter how much he tries, they just won't wake up, and their Ender half has disappeared completely. He can't do anything except wait for them. Acid fjsjdj oh my god imagine Billiam just goes feral after that he's like "what did you do to m y B u t l e r" and just jumps on Sapnap with his bare hands Me Oh absolutely, he will Murder Sapnap without a second thought and he doesn't care how many deaths he has to go through to do it even though dying more will make it take longer for butler to wake up, and then afterwards he'll be pacing around random areas stress-stimming intensely and waiting for his child to wake up Acid yeap Me Somehow he finds his way to Kinoko Kingdom and is like "oh, this looks like a good place for a walk" and then spends the entire time not actually looking at anything and drowned in anxiety

AND THEN THESE WERE LAST NIGHT'S THOUGHTS, SOMEHOW LATER ON THEY END UP AT SAPNAP'S PLACE CAUSE THEY TECHNICALLY DON'T HAVE A PLACE TO STAY Unless you count the library but I don't think that would be very comfortable-

Anyway, Rune was fronting when they fell asleep and then their chronic nightmares came back. Sapnap wakes up(or was he ever really sleeping?) to some almost animalistic gasping in the other room and runs in to find Karl Karl's body curled on the bed, barely humanoid and random flashes of color spiking over him in waves and clawlike hands digging into his head

So he tries to wake him up, and when he does Bu's first reaction is to scramble away in pure terror because he's not fully out of the nightmare yet, there are even tears running down his face that just get absorbed back into the mass of color. Sapnap tries to calm him down, and eventually succeeds enough to ask him what the hell happened, and who's fronting once he remembers that that is a thing-

Thing is, Bu's gone nonverbal, but hey at least Karl was some sort of shapeshifter so they can just shift blobs of color into the air to answer Sapnap's questions

He very quickly learns only to ask yes/no ones because he can't read Galactic which is the only thing Bu can respond in, but that whole night ends on a pretty good note :3

Acid IS KARL IN THE SYSTEM CANON? HE'D BE THE MAIN FRONTER IF IT IS I THINK Me After that nightmare Rune finds himself trusting Sapnap a little more but also not as able to front, he's just so tired of it. No one else wants to front, he always has to stay there and he never gets a break. At least before, Tune had control during the night and he got to rest some. Now his sleep schedule is just as abhorred as before and no one else even comes near the front. He tries as long as he can, for everyone else's sake, but after weeks of fronting alone he just can't anymore. So he finally leaves the front and just collapses face-first into idk a patch of grass in the innerworld or something, and he's so exhausted of being a person that he can't even think straight, He doesn't want consolation, he doesn't want promises, he doesn't even want cuddles he just wants someone else to take over for a bit. Me OOH MAYBE He wakes up and wanders around the innerworld figuring out what the heck is going on and wondering why he can't see the outside anymore and oh god is he dead, are they all dead maybe they're all dead and none of them know it, and then Rune comes out of front and practically begs to not have to be a person anymore, he tells Karl "please i just want a break, just go out there or get someone else to go out there for a while please" and, well, Karl takes a chance and goes out to front and holy shit is this the real world, holy shit are those his fiancées, holy s h i t Acid THAT'S THE BESR OUTCOME ACTUALLY Me YESSSSSSSSS MASQUERADE SYSTEM + KARL THE MAN HIMSELF JACOBS Acid YESSS Me Karl and Rune are now host and co-host, because. no one else wants to front Acid Karl tricking Billiam into fronting.mp4 Me GSHDFGBSGDHFBSF Rune and Karl lock him into front and Rune proceeds to lean against the nearest flat surface, slide down and then dissociate for the next couple/several hours Karl makes sure no one disturbs him, even if Tune and Piam are Very Worried about their exhausted Human hybrid Acid them taking care of Rune (affectionate)

Acid OK WAIT I WAS THINKING AND IN SYSTEMS PEOPLE USUALLY MANIFEST SO I WAS THINKING HOW THAT'D WORK IN THE MASQUERADE SYS AND I REALIZED THAT EVERYONE IN THERE IS TECHNICALLY DEAD IN A WAY WHAT IF THAT'S THIS AU'S LIMBO? ONE DAY WILBUR POPS UP AND COMMITS MULTIPLE CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY Me HOLY SHIT OH SHIT EVERYONE THAT PERMA-DIES JUST ENDS UP AS AN ALTER IN KARL'S WEIRD COLOR-SHAPESHIFTING BODY XDDD You can always tell who's fronting by the colors, as long as you actually know them enough to know their colors- Acid Wilbur: hello Quackity, I am BAC- Karl: oh my GOD Wilbur shut the FUCK UP we understand it you're gay now please get out of front I have a date in 10 minutes Acid OOOOO YES Me Like Rune is purple/pink(mainly pink) gray-red/dark purple/orange/green eyes(right/right/left/left, respectively), and then he has some other colors sifting through, like a dark indigo-blue and a yellow the color of Endstone Tune is all of that but some of it is darker(the pinks/purples and Endstone color), some of it's the same(the eyes, except they have a light pink shine over them) and some of it is inverted. Clouds will waft around the body when it's fronting and whenever you look through the clouds you'll see the colors inverted Billiam is solidly pale pink except for his eyes(maroon) and his hands and feet(gold, with veins streaking out and tapering off at about the elbow) Piam is a slightly redder pink, with spots of a Netherrack color here and there, and his gold is more orangey, like there's fire reflecting off of it karl is just. karl. Of course he's got the signature swirls in bright violent and teal but other than that he's just a smorgasbord of color, usually bright and neon. When he's near/thinking about Sapnap and/or Quackity, little hearts start popping off him

[everything-laito]

Never expected the Laito vs Shin CD to be this deep on Laito’s side. Hi, I’m back at it again with another long rant.

Hiiii! It’s Corn here, with a long awaited analysis of the Laito vs Shin drama cd! 

I didn’t expect to like this pairing as much as I did, but honestly Shin’s abrasiveness brought more out of Laito than I expected. Maybe it’s also the combination of Laito struggling to keep himself restrained. 

If you wanna hear my shitpost 2 am reactions to this, here’s the link. I go back now and realize I forgot some stuff in my notes to put in there, but oh well haha. If you want me to release the ones I forgot let me know lololol, my 2 am ramblings are pretty funny in hindsight. Thank you to @/dialovers-translations for providing the translations to these CDs! If you want to check the CD out for yourself, here it is. And as always, if you want to add anything, feel free to! Huge analysis under the cut :)

So the CD starts off with Laito and Yui. They’re in public somewhere and Laito’s being… Laito. But he’s trying to be quiet which was off putting for me at first. Anyways, this takes place right after the Lost Eden ending. I will admit I haven’t played Lost Eden or has seen the translations yet (I like playing the games as I do) but I do know that in in some endings the Sakamakis (and Mukamis???? I think??? Not sure) inherit daddy ketchup’s power. (I think it’s all of them that do in their endings but correct me if I’m wrong). 

So we know that Laito doesn’t like violence from him saying it multiple times in past games, drama cds, etc. He also mentioned in Haunted Dark Bridal that he doesn’t like family politics and has no interest in having the throne/Karl’s power. So, safe to assume from the start he doesn’t like having this power. And oh boy he is NOT having it. 

In my notes of the first track I made a quip of that Laito’s been kind of a “wannabe romantic.” I know that’s not the best way to describe it, but he’s like “human girls like this right?” or “this is what you do in a relationship, right?” (And he either puts his own twist on it or it ends up being More Blood’s vampire ending). So in this he holds your hand, no tricks, no nothing. I know this is a result of Rejet’s writing change after HDB, but also I think it’s some development on Laito’s end too (either way, it’s cute as hell). I honestly took this as him trying to distract himself from the power he now has; one that he never wanted in the first place. And we know Laito: master of distracting himself from his own issues and other people. 

Laito: “Fufu…You’re shaking~ In that case, should we just dive down from here while I hold you in my arms? …We’ll reach the ground in no time, but it might be reaaaaaally scary.”

Laito: “I’m not going to jump down. After all, I’ve decided I won’t use these powers no matter what.”

Although it takes some deeper knowledge of Laito, he definitely is using the ol “making fun of things I’m insecure about = coping mechanism” plenty of people like to do. He’s teasing himself; making a little quip of it and then kinda turning serious, yet still remaining his “~playful Laito façade~” self. In my notes I say that I’m glad Rejet stuck by with Laito’s whole “I have no interest in these powers” kinda thing. I also think that it scares him, on top of the fact that he just doesn’t give a shit. Or him having the “I don’t give a shit” attitude is a cover up for that fear? We’re gonna go deeper into that, my fellow sinners. 

Before I get into that, I just wanted to point out yet another quote that follows the ones that I put. 

Laito: “Don’t look so puzzled. This is the human world, isn’t it? It would be odd. There’s no hidden meaning behind it. That’s all.”

I liked my note in response to this quote: “H A H don’t be so DAFT, Laito, you’re the KING of double meanings. I know this is a liiiieeeeee” and man, I gotta agree with my cryptid self. He’s using the fact that it’s the human world as an excuse for him to not use his powers. Which…. Is a valid excuse. But this is also Laito we’re talking about. And he just sucked your blood in public. And moaned. I can see right through you man. Laito without double meanings is just…. He can’t exist. There’s no way. Sure he’s developed but if he’s still sticking with his façade from time to time, it’s a safe assumption; deductively. 

As for Laito fearing his powers, it really starts to prove itself by Track 02. Shin finds him, attacks him with wolves, and Laito STILL doesn’t use his powers, even in self defense. For a man that has 0 self restraint typically,,,,,, he really can restrain himself for the most specific things. This further supports my claim that Laito’s scared of himself with these powers. He’s also just really dedicated to his morals, whether they’re falsified morals he created himself in self defense, or ones that go deep to his core (oh shit, another analysis idea???). 

Then… Laito got angry, and attacked Shin in the process (this happens in track 04. Shin steals Yui in track 03). Again, I know I just said he’s pretty dedicated to his morals. But it’s an oddly human thing to do; breaking your morals once in a while to achieve something. We’ve all done it at least once in our lives. Then Laito beats himself up over letting his angry emotions get to him. And we get such a moving scene.

Laito: “Ah…Fuck…! Why…! Why!? Why did I let myself fall for such an easy taunt!? …Bitch-chan? I’m weird, right now, aren’t I? Because of that guy’s powers…Aren’t I going crazy?”

Laito: “…!? I…I’ve been composed this whole time. Yet…Why do you tell me such a thing!? Just as I thought…You also think that I’m becoming weird! If not, you wouldn’t look at me with those eyes!”

Laito: “Don’t touch me…!! If you touch me…You’ll be corrupted as well.”

Laito: “Fufufu…Ahaha…! I’m not corrupted? No, haven’t you experienced it first-hand? That man’s sullied blood and powers are flowing through this body of mine. Even though I don’t need them…! Even though I never wished for them…! Why…!? Why did I have to get these things forced upon me!? Fuck!”

I know that Japanese doesn’t technically have swear words like we do. He says 「くそ」 (“kuso”) which is an interjection that describes something that’s outrageous. Which is why it gets translated into “damn!” “Shit!” “Fuck!” Based on the context and aggressiveness. But, Laito rarely ever says 「くそ」, and he said it a LOT in this CD. And that’s what really caught me off guard. 

So, SO much is said in those quotes I cannot even begin to fathom. So let’s break it down. 

Firstly, as I mentioned, He’s beating himself up (as well as gaslighting himself(?) Is that possible?) over breaking his own morals and not wanting to have these powers in the first place. And he uses Karl as a scapegoat, as he (and the other brothers) have a habit of doing. Also, he refers to his powers as “that guy’s powers.” He hasn’t even accepted that they’re his, and that’s also what’s really sad.

Then the second line. “I’ve been composed this whole time.” Well we, as Laito fans, know that what we usually see Laito is a façade. But this, right now, is raw Laito, baby. He then kinda gets a paranoia of some sort, trying to read your eyes (which is most likely sympathetic, not thinking he’s weird) in order to blame it on someone, or continuing to gaslight himself. And the third line… Wow that hit hard for me in the feels. You know how Laito usually says he wants to corrupt you? Steal your innocence? (Again, projection, from what Cordelia made him feel). This also further supports the notion that Laito doesn’t think that highly of himself (well, people who have some type of superiority complex do. And he definitely does, sometimes on Ayato levels) and also the fact that he still keeps that façade up. Probably to protect these inner feelings. Again, his statement about his composure says as much. 

It’s then implied that Yui tries to comfort him, saying that he’s not corrupted. He continues to not listen to her and kinda say his bottled up feelings. God that last quote, and the way he says it,,,, ugh god it’s so heartbreaking. As we previously knew, he didn’t want these powers at all. He never wanted to be in any part of Karlheinz’s games. He just wanted to live the way he wants to (even if it is,,,, an unhealthy mindset to live in). He says it in such a fearful and tragic way. Again, he’s afraid of himself with these powers. He’s trying to build back up his facade or adjust it in any way that he can to avoid it, but right now, it’s too much for him. 

Laito: “Bitch-chan, you see. As long as she has someone to make her feel good, she will make do with anyone. …Power does not matter. That’s what being a ‘Bitch-chan’ is all about, isn’t it?”

Shin: “Che! You’re just spouting random crap! You won’t deceive me.”

Laito: “Heh…There, there…Don’t glare at me like that..We’ve come all the way up here…It would be foolish to waste our time talking about power dynamics. Let’s enjoy ourselves…I don’t care about complicated stuff. To me, this is everything.”

I actually said something coherent enough in my 2 am notes in response to this to pretty much put it in here verbatim: 

Damn, this boy really just wants to vibe and avoid responsibility (I mean, don’t we all Laito) but he just has to face it. I kinda realize through this drama cd that Laito just… doesn’t wanna face complexity too. He doesn’t, never has. Violence is too complicated, getting involved with Cordelia and Ayato’s relationship by standing up for Ayato as a kid is too complicated, getting on Cordelia’s “good side” (which is uh,,,, awful) is too complicated. 

Putting up that whole perverted façade in order to hide from his own feelings; holy shit idk how I didn’t notice this blatantly before. I didn’t know it would take Shin to make me realize this. Laito never asked for any of this happening to him (none of the boys really did; at least for their pasts). Goddamn, when I try to look at the overly complex stuff, I miss the simple shit so easily. People in real life try to escape like this––using sex and pleasure––just like Laito. 

(Can’t believe I said that at 2 am omg) But, to add onto that, the whole “That’s what being a ‘Bitch-chan’ is all about, isn’t it?” Has SO much meaning to it. First of all, it’s a question. Which raises uncertainty about a subject. This subject is what being a ‘Bitch-chan’ is. It’s phrased in a desperate way that this is Laito’s way to ask you to help. And that’s huge. Also, I think it’s Laito’s way of saying to not judge him right now, and to still accept him for who he is. If he really thought that Yui was that “loose” of a woman with no standards, he wouldn’t have cared to say this, or implied his purpose: which is wanting to make Yui feel good. Which, I think in Laito terms, means “wanting to make Yui happy.” And he wants to continue to be there with her through this double meaning. And wow. That’s,,,,pretty poetic.

Last note; I know that Shin even said or implied (I’m too lazy to go back to the direct quote) that he was like “bruh get over yourself, these are your powers now, get used to it” (which set Laito off I believe). And going in, I didn’t think I’d get much out of this duo in terms of development, but WOW, there’s a chock full of stuff. 

If you’ve made it this far, congrats! Holy crap I think this is longer than the Hilde analysis. 

Thanks for reading as always! -Corn

[stray-tori]

TPN S02E05 - Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

the reaction video: Google Drive

.

. Blue friend!

That i didn’t immediately catch that they were two different groups was kind of embarrassing asuhjd- they do be surveilling. They clearly already tailed them, but idk why they didn't just show up at their hideout --- I guess that would have been too undramatic.

It was kind of obvious towards the end and I felt like they could have made it a little more dynamic. I don’t need still shots. Make them attack and the mask comes off after he also speaks or... idk, so many still frames; masks hiding any emotional reaction (though I do like the whole taking off mask reveal in theory); and then also the kind of.... EH reaction I’m just... idk, I expected more somehow but I can’t exactly pinpoint what I wanted differently.

(This whole thing kind of goes back to my initial theory way back after s1 how Norman might try to infiltrate the system as a demon and then have to pretend to not be their ally in front of them and have to pull through with something, or some tragic shit like that. Or one of them trying to kill him, but he can’t say anything and then they realize when the cover comes off --- yeah VERY BAD, I’m glad that’s not what’s happening.)

I’m assuming the tidbit about farms being raided “recently” means he’s not been out for that long (at least not longer than a few months) so that’d explain why it wasn’t brought up with Isabella.

I also don’t think anything happened when he was removed from GF - but between Norman’s surprised expression when entering the gate room and him being here now, I don’t think he was shipped out for food (unless the high quality ones don’t get flower’ed right away and instead only at their “eater” --- since that’d at least give the support duration for someone to rescue him or him to do something about his situation).

So I’m very curious to hear about that whole story and I have a small bit of hope that the recap episode will be framed as Norman talking about s1 from his perspective and then also transitioning over into what happened while they were apart either in next episode or the episode after that. Don’t think we need a recap either way, but OH WELL, I hope there’ll be SOME framing to it at least.

edit: I thought episode 6 would be a recap, but it’s 5.5 and likely due to production issues so forget my rant here, I’m fine with the recap. I’m not fine with staff being overworked but oh well that’s a whole different dilemma.

They got so much to do and so few episodes AHHH

I wonder if there’s any meaning-parallel to be drawn between the old demon having a walking stick and Norman also having a walking stick??? idk it just felt odd to me-- Norman why are you old.

Though gotta also appreciate that anime really went opposite manga approach here, he didn't age AT ALL duisjsd. still babey. (edit: I didn’t know about his “inbetween” design as much and seeing them side by side it’s actually pretty accurate so yayyy. he babey anyway though)

what did that one guy out of Norman's group do when he leaned down to presumably Don I'm confusion

Norman, surrounding his friends: "lets ominously walk up to them"

.

. The demons' form

I didn’t post it I think but I actually made a “you are what you eat” joke in my ep3 post but discarded it because Sonju and Mujika look completely fine despite never having had any humans and I thought that’d throw a wrench in my thought.... and it still does so... that’s really interesting.

It also seems as if him saying “The world won’t change” is kind of..... like a prophecy sort of thing? It could just mean the massive class divide of course, but maybe if all the demons were well fed with humans, they’d achieve greater things? Since when you’re dying you’re kind of not in the condition to do anything, and if eating their body parts makes the demons adapt; is the implication that eating their brains makes demons smarter? if so that's a pretty literal parallel to the lower classes of society being robbed the chance to do something great by sheer circumstance. they're just actually dumber bc they don't get provided the materials to be smart

Honestly I’m a bit confused and not sure what it means, i can think of:

once a demon has ever eaten a human, they have to continue doing so

eating singular body parts makes them generate on you and you need “higher quality” humans to counter-act it. Would explain why Mujika and Sonju aren’t affected, since they don’t eat humans at all. Would also be an allegory for a healthy/balanced diet I GUESS but I don’t think it seems very plausible? it just seems kind of random.

They’re descendants from different demons and Sonju&Mujika simply don’t need to eat humans to maintain their form.

I also brought up that maybe it’s faith related / a placebo? But that seems even more forced.

I also don’t know if the implication is that they need ANY food, but then why are there hands on them?? So I do think it’s that it’s humans specifically that are either the problem or the solution. But since the bigger demons don’t seem to be affected AND the higher ups also not, I doubt it’s what causes the problems, unless it somehow is the whole balanced / “have to KEEP doing it” angle.

Also the demon scene in the ruins was so interesting, I really liked how it was so somber and kind of just... quiet. Emma, our queen, emphasizing once again.

I wonder if the demon realized it secretly or not... he seemed kinda overall nice and reasonable so I wouldn’t be super surprised if he noticed and just didn’t really care...

.

. The timeline

GF kids have been escaped for 1 year, they were a month at the bunker, so they’ve been out and about for another ~11 months.

Anna says nothing happened in the past 6 months; what else happened to them? just that they hid somewhere and had to flee again?

Is that also where they got their new clothes? i fail to see why they couldn’t just get them at the bunker, would make a bit more sense imo- but oh well.

farms keep being attacked recently and stealing children. it was def not our group, Norman's group potentially? They seem to be pretty badass, so that’s probably not unlikely.

Alternatively, it could be an overarching even bigger group that also rescued Norman, I think.

.

. Other things I liked

the scene of Emma being kind of lost was... pretty good, seeing our sunshine kind of doubt herself (understandably so after not making progress for an entire year) is pretty impactful. But i also feel like she’d try even harder to hide it in front of the others. but also why are you talking to a wall, are you mentally okay, probably not--- 

LOVED the nice subtle reveal to show how they mask their scent in the Lani and Thoma scene when they wanted to go with them

shot of the apple rolling and the screen turning over but head-down was cool!!

Emma and ray flinching when the demon's hand reaches out to Lani and Thoma

That convo between Lani and Thoma and how the older ones always give them the food and pretend to eat I'M EMOTIONAL

also their costumes are so colorful :sparkles: it’s such a big switch from their usual outfits-

.

. Other things I didn’t like

i'm not even a rayemma shipper and I still wanted Ray to do more than say a few lines and WALK AWAY?? ray what ya doin-

[Lani and Thoma] also literally why did you let them come. This season does really depend on someone fucking up and it’s kind of annoyingggggg :) Though in this case it isn’t that much their fault, they just stood around.

also why Norman only say “Emma” pls kill me. I was so happy that (very light manga spoiler) ...... Ray and Emma were both there for the reveal but fuck, the anime just straight up didn't care about Ray being there anyway :V

they better gife me a good trio hug to make up for this next (... uh... next-next TvT) episode

I do agree he’s back too soon but..... I kind of can’t hate them, with the whole 1 season to wrap it up chaos. Anime industry bad.

Well at least I’m excited and didn’t hate it. I’m somehow a little empty-headed but it was a good episode, and the surrounding anxiety probably just makes me a little iffy.... Hope the recap episode next week will have some merit and otherwise, see ya in two weeks.

[zodiyack]

Tell Me It’s Real

Requested by anon: So I had this idea for a fic where the reader is pretending to be in love with Roman to get close to him. The reader is a viglante and plans to take him down when she earns his trust. he finds out about her plans and he’s upset because he really likes her. But instead of killing her he keeps her as a prisoner. Sorry if that’s too specific. I love your work!

Pairing: Roman Sionis x reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst, alcohol, drugging, crime, soft!Roman, mention of murder, kidnapping(?), mention of Roman’s homemade removal surgery (aka face skinning), mention of Stockholm syndrome? idk, movie reference

Note: I hope this is what you wanted! I’m sorry if I went a bit offtrack! I also I apologize, I was rather tired when writing the first half of this!

Taglist: @stardancerluv​​ @matth1w​​ @redspaceace​​

Masterlist | Birds of Prey Masterlist

Part Two

Her lips formed into a smirk against his. He was tempted to deepen their kiss, but for now, he was being interrupted with a business deal. With him being more focused on the pain across from him who was pleading for a deal, he didn’t notice the flicking eyes of his girlfriend. The way she subtly listened to their conversation.

But just because Roman hadn't noticed didn’t mean Victor didn’t take caution. He saw her, just as he did every time she did something of the sort. He was curious to know why, but he left it be. As Roman’s best friend and employee, he knew the boundary of accusing Roman’s lover of anything without solid evidence.

He tried photos. But Y/n was the same as he was with her. Both keeping an eye on each other. He tried to set up cameras. But she was always one step ahead, always being out of the view of the lens or the footage would “somehow” be glitchy, deleted, ruined, just never the way he knew it was supposed to be.

It all added up for him. However, not for Roman. Head over fucking heals for Y/n; he refused to believe anything that was said of her. From Victor or someone else. He never believed.

This was the time. Victor was determined to catch her. She had to fuck up at some point, right? No human being was that perfect.

“Rome?” Her breath tickled his neck, distracting him from the conversation. She nipped at his ear as he made a “mhm” sound in response to his name. “I’m feeling thirsty. What about you?”

“Exactly the same as you, angel. I’ll get Vincent to g-”

“No!” Victor’s head snapped up, both him and Roman had a look of confusion and shock at her sudden raise of voice. “I mean, no. I’ll get them myself.”

“Oh...if you’d like. Come right back though, alright, Angel?”

“Yes sir. I love you, Romey.” She kissed him roughly before setting off to get the promised drinks. Now that she finally had control over him, her plan was being set into motion. He finally trusted her. She knew of the reports being made of her, she knew how Roman turned them down like they were just rumors, it all was just proof that it was the perfect time for her to begin.

She went up to the bar and asked for two cups of a random alcohol. When the man handed her the drinks, she thanked him and walked to a dark corner, pouring pills into one of the cups. Thank god she accepted Harley’s offer.

“Wait! Please, just let me go, I just started my life free of Mr. J! I’ll give you something in return!”

“Harley, what on earth could you possibly have that would stop me from turning you in?”

She fished around in her pocket, smiling brightly when she found what she was searching for. “Here,” she held out a bottle of pills. Specifically the kind you’d use to drug someone. The kind to knock them out. “take ‘em!”

“What the hell would I need these for? I’m a fucking vigilante, I’m throwing you guys in jail, not kidnapping you.”

“You know exactly what they’re for!”

Her arms folded over her chest, inhaling deeply and rolling her eyes. “No, Harley, I really don’t.”

“Oh come on Y/n! Don’t be so modest! I know you’re goin’ for the big one! Roman Sionis?”

Her eyes widened. “H-how did you-”

“Easy! You and that other... scary.. cop lady want a case against him. You’re the only new person so he has no idea who you are, meaning it’s easy for you to sneak right in and turn him to putty in your hands before... ya know-” She shook the pills next to her face. “You may have gotten some people in jail, but if you build your reputation up too quickly, he’ll have you shot dead before you can even reach the lot of his club.”

“And how do I know you won’t go blabbering to him?” Y/n drawled, taking the bottle from the blonde.

“Really? He hates my guts. I thought you knew that already? Oooh righttt, you’re new. Sorry, I just forgot for a sec due to how good you are at this hero shit.”

“...Thanks?”

“Anytime sweets!” She glanced down at her wrist, checking an imaginary watch. “Welp, nice talking to ya, but I gotta go. Seeya!” Before any words could leave Y/n’s mouth, Harley was already on the back of the bus, holding onto the rail and catching an illegal ride.

She sat back down, smiling at her boyfriend and handing him the cup with the drugged drink. One of the men across from her initiated a conversation. It was the perfect timing for something against her plan.

Victor had seen her. He’d seen the pills. Stealthily, but obvious enough for Roman to notice him, he switched the cups. and shrugged when Roman raised an eyebrow.

“Could I make a toast?”

Y/n turned to Victor, smiling and grabbing the glass in front of her. Victor spat out some bullshit toast and downed his glass, the rest of the table following his action. A few moments went by and Y/n started to sway, she struggled to keep her eyes open.

“Angel? Are you alright? Do you need us to leave early?”

“I’m.. I’m fine Rome. I p-promi...promise...” The last “promise” of her sentence was whispered. Her head hit the table and her eyes fell closed. Roman jumped up, no knowing what was going on or who to blame.

“You! What the fuck did you do to her Victor?”

He assumed quickly, based off Victor switching their cups in front of him. “It wasn’t me. That cup was from her, meant for you. Remember? I didn’t do jack-shit to her.”

It hit him. Finally. It hit him like a thunderbolt striking his tall form. Moments he should’ve taken note of. The times she was caught in suspicious actions and brushed it off with some excuse he believed. There was still one more thing.

“Out.” No one moved. Rarely anyone heard him. If they did, they didn’t listen to him. “Out!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CLUB!” Just like that, they did. People swarmed, racing to the exit, not wanting to face the furry and wrath of Roman Sionis. “Zsasz-”

“On it boss.” He began to pick her up and head into the direction of where Roman’s infamous unconsented facial removal surgeries took place. 

“Where the fuck are you going?”

“I-”

“Don’t listen? I know. As I was going to say, chain her up... please. Don’t hurt her, don’t kill her,” He turned to the rest of his employees, “you got that? NONE OF YOU LAY A FUCKING HAND ON HER! Or it’ll be your face I skin next.”

Audible gulps sounded through the room. No one moved. Not even an inch.

“Well? GO!”

. . .

She woke up, vision blurred and wrists feeling sore. Her eyes were watery and her throat felt dry. She couldn’t have messed up, she knew exactly what glass it was in! No matter her mistake, she was obviously in for it now. ‘Fuck.’

“Well well, look who’s awake Roman!” A voice sneered from in front of her. Y/n managed to look up, meeting the eyes of Victor Zsasz. “Look at you now. So helpless. You’ve failed, ya know? Just one little brat who ca-”

“Enough, Victor.”

Victor’s eyes never left Y/n’s. He stared her down while mumbling an apology to Roman, obviously not genuine. She took the chance, smiling mischievously, and spat in his face.

“You bitch!” His hand raised to meet her face, but Roman stopped him quickly.

“Victor. I said enough.” Y/n could hear his steps approaching her. Great, she really was gonna die. “Please leave us, friend.”

“Yeah whatever.”

He left, just as Roman had asked, Although she acted fearless and literally just did something that could’ve gotten her killed on the spot, a tinge of fear made it’s way to her gut. Roman seemed intrigued with his girlfriend. Was she really afraid or was she skimming through her mind for an escape strategy?

Neither. 

She was too busy shivering with wide eyes, confused by Roman’s actions.

“Listen... I know, I should kill you. I mean, if anyone else had done it, I would’ve peeled their fucking face off and then made them suffer a horrible death, but you... I fucking loved you. I- I love you.”

“Roman. P-please I-”

“No. I’ve already figured it out, Angel.”

“Roman! I beg of you, please don’t kill me.. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have hurt you like that! I hurt you by using your heart rather than a less emotional tactic and I’m sorry!”

Roman tutted, walking around Y/n and kneeling in front of her. “Y/n, Y/n, Y/n. You’re right, it hurt me in a very unfair way, but your apologies won’t excuse your attempt of knocking me out.”

“How did you-” She thought back, Victor keeping his eyes on her, her finding what she thought to be an unoccupied corner and not bothering to check her surroundings. “Shit.”

“O-huh-ha-o! You finally figured it out! Well, he switched the glasses, and look where we are now. The woman I love, trying to kill me. What is this, Mr. and Mrs. Smith?”

“Could be.” she sighed. “Are you gonna...” The chains rattled against the floor as she moved her hands in a circle motion over her face.

“Skin you? No. I’m gonna keep you here.” He stood up.

“Am I gonna die?”

“No to that question as well.” Roman started towards the door. “There is, however, a way you can get out of this.”

“And that is?”

He turned slightly, eyes meeting hers. “Well you gotta make sure it’s the truth. Some guy is coming by and he loves his machinery. Something about it shocking you if you lie?” A goofy “oops”-kind-of-smile rested on his lips.

“But what is it that I need to do?”

The door slammed shut and the locks clicked into place. “Tell Me It’s Real.”

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦  

Part two? Also I’m sorry if this story is like...REALLY ooc or something, I just went with the flow. 

And with the movie reference part (Mr. And Mrs. Smith) I could totally write an au for that as a Roman Sionis if y’all like that idea. Him or another character, I don’t mind, I just like the movie a lot

✘ Bowie

[appledashieeus]

“We don’t talk together” - Heize but it’s about Rainbow Dash’s feelings for her crush.

At Sweet Snack Cafe...

Sunset: So... How are you guys doing?

Rainbow: Nahh I’m doing just as awesome as usual

Applejack (smirk): Huh? Ah’m good. So how about you Sunset?

Rainbow: Yeah, how are you AND Pinkie doin’?

Sunset (darting her eyes away from the girl, replying shyly): We’re alright.. I guess.

Sunset: Talking about relationships, how are you and Rarity? Didn’t you two decide to get back together after that ​Starswirled Music Festival​, right?

Applejack (awkwardly): Yeah, righ- ah mean... things are really not that clear yet. *blushing hard, and immediately gulped the water in her glass to relieve her awkward state*  Rare said she needs more time but ah’ think we’re doin’ alright?

Sunset (confused): But didn’t you two spent major time together at that festival?...

Rainbow (thinking in her head): Not all the time

Sunset:...You even rolled her sushi...

Rainbow (muttering): She makes food for everyone.

Sunset:...you made her mud-mask...

Rainbow (still muttering):She didn’t, it was real mud tho

Sunset:...And that Ponygram’s video ya two made together about camping must have, it has like, millions heart icons in it!

Rainbow (keep muttering but smaller volume): Rare likes heart icon, that’s all.

Applejack (thinking about it and start blushing): A-ah’ guess yall did have sum point.

Sunset (smirk in champion way): Hah, see.

AJ *smiled nervously while her cheeks turn in beet-red*

Sunset (notice RD’s gloomy face): So how about you Rainbow? How’s your relationship status?

Rainbow (startled): Oh.. um am alright. Too busy being captain of all the sport team in school at the moment, no time for that mussy love thing *acts careless*

Sunset: Hmm.. I see. But how about Fluttershy, don’t you take care of her a lot? Like whenever were hangin’ out you’re always with her, and last summer your fam and her fam even went on vacation together, right?

Rainbow: There is n-

Applejack: There is no way RD and Fluttershy having anything for each other ah’m tellin’ ya *chuckle* They are childhood friends, more specifically they parents are friends, even tho they don't seem like they have anything in common but Fluttershy’s parents trust RD a lot. They asked her to look after their daughter, am ‘ah right sugarcube?

Rainbow (smiled nervously): Yeah, that’s everything Sunset. By the way Fluttershy already has a crush on this tree-nerd, what’s her name again? Ahh yeah Tree Hugger. Don’t you know about that?

Rainbow: Besides, she isn’t my type anyway so yea, that kind of relationship is impossible for us. We’re more like sister if you ask me tho *placing the straw in the cup she was holding on her lips, drinking her cool rainbow ice-blended to dispel the tense*

Sunset (confusion): Ah yeah, right, Pinkie might mentioned it before but I wasn’t paying much attention haha *chuckle shyly*

🎶 Get in the group, you bring that dancing shoes~ I’ll bring that attitude, you bring the crew so we can move~ 🎵

Applejack (startled): Ohh that was mah phone. *pick up the phone* Yea Rarity?....

Sunset looking at RD’s frowning face , “there must be something wrong here” she thinks.

Applejack (hang up her phone): Uhm.. Sorry you guys, it’s time for me to go to Rare’s house. Ah’ promised her ah’ll build her closet-room today. And ah gonna post it on Ponygram so remember to check ‘em out *chuckle shyly*

Applejack (pack up her thing and finish her apple smoothie): Okay ah’ gotta go now, see yall later.

Sunset: Yeah take care AJ

Rainbow (back to earth): Ah right, bye AJ see you around.

Sunset (waving): Have fun!

After Applejack left, The atmosphere became dull for the Speedster. Dashie’s face formed a noticeable gloom which Sunset recognized.

Sunset: Hey Rainbow, you alright?

Rainbow:

Sunset: Heyy *wave her hand at RD’s face*

Rainbow:

Sunset: (do and say random thing) Back to earth Rainbow Dash

Rainbow:

Sunset (lose her temper): RAINBOW DASH!!

Rainbow (startled): Huh? I’m here am here. Oh it was you, Sunset Shimmer. You don’t need to shout that loud you know. *takes a sip from her ice-blended*

Sunset (pats Rainbow’s shoulder): Is there anything wrong Dash? *she said in a worrying tone*

Rainbow (sigh): It’s nothing Sunset, I just...

Sunset stopped for a moment and thought about the conversation the three of them had earlier. Not long after studying the moment shared, Sunset finally realized what the actual problem really was

Sunset (slightly serious voice): You have a crush on AJ don’t you?

Rainbow (got startled, nervously looking around while quickly uses her hand to shut Sunset up): Wh-what? What are you saying! pfft.. tsk.. I don’t have feelings for Applejack, Sunset.

Sunset (takes RD’s hand off her mouth): Ugh.. Chill out Dash, It’s not like Pinkie’s here today to bounce and talk non-stop about this. Gummy caught a stomach ache, she had to bring him over to Fluttershy.

Sunset (looking around): And it seems like there is no one we know is sittin’ in. So Rainbow Dash, calm down.

Rainbow (finally making herself calm down a bit and sitting down): Yeah you’re right *sigh, looking down* So you know my secret huh? Now what, are you going to tell everyone about it?

Sunset: No Dash that’s not what I mea-

(The original was in Korean but I decided to use the translation. Suggest yall to listen to this song while continue reading)

🎵~ Do you feel the same now? It’s strange

This night we’ve been walking a long time ~ 🎶

Rainbow Dash froze upon hearing the song. She knows this song. She felt her heart clench inside her chest as if it was stabbed with a sword

Sunset sensed how uneasy her rainbow headed friend had become and as her friend. she scooted closer to show comfort

Sunset (patted her friend’s back): Hey RD, I know that you feel uncomfortable about all of this, but if you need someone to talk to.. I’m right here you know? I’ll be all ears.

Rainbow (looking at Sunset then look down at her ice-blended , her voice got softer than ever): You see Sunset...

Sunset: (listening)

Rainbow (sigh): I did something I shouldn’t. I have a crush on my best friend, and that friend is even DATED my other best friend. I’m a real mess ain’t I. *dugs her face in both of her hands releasing a heavy breathe of sigh*

Sunset (surprisingly and hesitantly): Dash i-

🎶~ Without any fear

I don’t know, I don’t know

Maybe back then 🎵

I just relied too much on Believing you would comfort me ~ 🎶

The feels that Rainbow Dash is feeling right now, she hated it.

Sunset (still patting RD’s back in comfort): You know RD, there is nothing wrong with you or your feelings. At all.                                                                           It’s something natural and you can’t just abandon or run away from it. I’m sure those feelings are reasonable same as everyone else’s

Sunset: Again, I am here if you need me.

🎵 ~ ​I know

We love each other 🎶

We don’t talk together I’m always yours

Why don’t you? 🎵

I don’t want to admit it Why don’t you?

🎶 I can’t send you away ~

RD’s shoulders trembled, her tears began to flow down her face

Sunset (surprised): Rainbow i-

Rainbow (slightly sobbing): Sunset I don’t know anymore. I shouldn't feel this way but I just can’t stop it. I love Applejack... a lot. *her voice getting weaker and sobber* It’s way too hard for me to control this damn feeling, I just think about that girl every time, every-freaking-second. Like, even when I play my game, if she doesn’t show up i’ll get distracted because i keep thinkin’ why or what happened. It’s too much for me Sunset, way too much.

Sunset got surprised, she never expected this, that one of her cool tomboy and stoic friend could be this soft and fragile. It... makes Sunset remember her past, she feels empathy.

Without saying anything, she continued on stroking her friends back.

Rainbow (still sobbing): Y-you know Sunset...

Sunset (starled): H-huh? *she just got back from her thinking space*

Rainbow (raises her face up, using a napkin to wipe the tears on her face away): AJ is something, she truly is something special, to me. I love a lot of things about this cowgirl. She’s the only person that could be as awesome as I am. Oh no offense Sunset.

Sunset (slightly smile): Non taken. I get what you’re saying, I thought that kind of way about Pinkie too.

Rainbow (finally giggle a bit): You see Sunset, me and AJ do a lot of things together. We’re even friend before I met the other girl, well not Fluttershy since my parents know her for a long time already. But yeah, Applejack and I spent most of the time together since we have tons of common interests, we shared the same hobbies and we’re always doing silly competitions together.

Sunset (giggled a bit): I can tell. But is that the only thing makes you trippin’ for Applejack that hard, I think there is more? *leaning her back to the chair*

Rainbow (chuckle a bit): You’re reading my mind aren’t you

Sunset (shrugs): I’m not touching you tho

They both stopped for a moment and then cracked smile together.

(I recommend yall to listen to “Some” by BOL4 or “Honey” by Kehlani while continue reading Rainbow’s thought on AJ)

Rainbow: Yeah yeah you are right. It’s not the only thing.

Rainbow (starts blushing): Well... I love Applejack because she is who she is. I love how she’s really responsible you know? She’s completely the exact opposite as I am. She’s smart and dependable to everyone… she knows how to handle her friends, family and... (blushing harder while muttering) me. She’s really strong as well, both physical and emotional, you know after what happened to her parents.

Sunset (nodding): I can tell.

Rainbow (takes a big gulp of her ice-blended and continuing): Okay this is awkward and idk what you think but Applejack is *shyly blushing* the apple of my eyes.

Sunset (interested face): Ooooo

Rainbow (embarrassed): I-i mean she is pretty tho, like nature pure pretty. She don’t even need any of that Rarity’s makeover thing *sarcastically voice*.   

She’s just naturally gorgeous.

Sunset (drinking her juice and raises her eyebrow): Hmm... I see.

Rainbow (blushing shyly): Like, have you seen those freckles on her cheeks, they make AJ looks so freaking adorable. Her voice is funny and beautiful at the same time, I don’t care what other think but her country puns are hilarious and I like it when she called me “sugarcube” or “hun”, yes I do know she say that to everyone but still...

Sunset: (chuckling secretly)

Rainbow (continuing): And gosh, her emerald eyes are something unreal for sure im tellin’ ya, they are so mysterious, deeply and shiny like the aurora light in Arctic. I don’t know why but her looks for me are somehow so powerful, especially when she raises her eyebrow. It’s like she’s reading every ounce of me making me can’t lie to her.

Sunset (nodding): I gotta agree with you on that, Applejack’s look truly is something powerful tho.

Rainbow (sign and smirk in sarcastic): Yeah, she can easily tell when someone’s lying, but couldn’t tell how much I’m going nuts over her

Sunset: Woah RD, it sounds hurtful when you say it that way.

Rainbow: It is what it is.

Sunset (curiously): But now AJ is single, why don’t you just go hit on her?

Rainbow (hide her nervousness): Seriously Sunset? Aren’t you the one who just brought up all those Rarijack moments to Applejack and makes her blush as heck? *sarcastically voice*

Sunset (feeling guilty): Oopsie! Sorry Dash, I didn’t know...

Rainbow (sign): It isn’t your fault anyway. If anyone is at fault here, it’s me.

Sunset: No Rainbow, why would you even think ‘bout it that way? It doesn’t sound like the awesome Rainbow Dash I know at all.

Rainbow (smirk): I could be awesome at a lot of things, but in this mussy love thing Sunset. I am a loser, a betrayal to my friendship with Rarity and Applejack...

Sunset (pity voice): Dash...

Rainbow (chuckle in sarcastic): Isn’t it funny Sunset, fallin’ in love with my best friend who is taken by my other best friend, how much of a jerk am I?

Sunset: Stop Rainbow, you are being negative. Besides, AJ and Rare broke up for a while now. Hey, if that Ragamuffin Rare met on the spring yatch have social media, they’re probably dating by now. And remember one thing, Rarity is you best friend , she’ll understand.

Rainbow (looking at Sunset with surprisingly then looking down at the table again): B-but what if the two of them actually still have feelings for each other… You’ve seen how blushed AJ was when you brought up Rarijack stuffs to her...

Sunset (sign): RD-

*Tingg* (coming from Sunset’s phone)

Rainbow: Is that Pinkie?

Sunset (check her phone): Yeah, her appointment with Fluttershy just finished.

Rainbow (playing with her straw): Yeah you should probably go pick her up

Sunset: Dash i-

Rainbow (rest her chin on her hand): Don’t worry for me I kinda need to head home too. Go take care for your little ​chaos.

Sunset (chuckle): Yeah yeah you’re right.

Sunset (pack up her things): I was actually surprised, RD. It’s not about your feelings for AJ, more like because I’ve never seen that soft part of you like this, at all. Not until now, that’s ju-

Rainbow: Uhm... Sunset Shimmer, talking about that...

Sunset: Yea?

Rainbow (hesitantly): Can you keep our conversation today as a secret, especially to AJ or any of the girl, or just anyone we know. You see, it’s not just  because I don’t want anyone to know about my feelings..

Rainbow (sheepishly): My reputation is kind of at stake too you know? Who would want to know that the ever so awesome Rainbow Dash being like this when it comes to this lovey-dovey things *smiled nervously*

Sunset (slightly smile. sign): I get it Dash, your secret is safe with me. Pinkie promise.

Rainbow (lightened up a bit): Thank you Sunset, for everything. I really appreciate that.

Sunset: No big deal RD, I'm glad that you shared with me too. Hey if you need a company, just know that I’ll always be ready for *sarcastically voice but in a good way* mussy love talk, okay?

Rainbow (giggle): Yeah yeah, I will. Now you better go if you don’t want to keep your pink cotton candy waiting for her *sarcastically voice but in a good way* mussy girlfriend.

Sunset (chuckle): Chezz Rainbow Dash, okay see you tomorrow *waving and leaving*

Rainbow (waving back): Yeah see you ‘round

To be continued...